Discussion Custom Connected With Marriage

Weddings in the United States

History

Weddings in the United States were once based out of commodity, rather than desire
or love. The word "wedding" implied the security the groom's family provided to the
family of the bride when the couple married. Brides were chosen based on their
economic worth. This trend lasted until the 19th Century, when couples started to
marry for love.

In the 19th Century, weddings were typically small, intimate ceremonies at the home
of either the parents of the bride or the parents of the groom. The announcement of
the newly married couple took place at their church on the Sunday following the
wedding. In the 1820s and 1830s, weddings became more elaborate, when upper class
couples had wedding ceremonies similar to modern custom. The bride usually wore
the best dress she owned, so her dress was not always white, as white dresses were
impractical to own. Not until the middle of the 19th century did brides start buying a
dress made specifically for their wedding day. At the same time, couples began to hire
professionals to prepare floral arrangements and wedding cakes, rather than making
them at home.

Today, couples in the United States are waiting later in life to get married. The
average age for males getting married in the United States is 27 years old, whereas,
women's average age is 25.

Ceremony and reception

During the ceremony, it is customary to include bridesmaids and groomsmen in the
event. The members of the bridal party are chosen to share the happiness with the
couple getting married. Including bridesmaids in the ceremony originated as a
technique of confusing evil spirits as to who the actual bride was. Groomsmen
originated not for protection, but many centuries ago when men had to capture women
in order to marry them. In order to steal the woman they chose to marry, men needed
to pick the most capable man to help him, hence "best man".
Today, "giving the bride away" has a very different meaning. The bride's father
accompanies her on her walk down the aisle to show approval of the groom. Centuries
ago, fathers actually did give their daughters away to their future husbands, since
females were property of their fathers.
The meaning and origin of the ceremonial kiss that traditionally concludes the
ceremony has several different interpretations. In the Roman era, a kiss was used to
seal legal bonds and contracts.
Wedding cakes are widely seen as symbols of fertility. While now they are an
enjoyable snack for the wedding guests, wedding cakes have a more serious history.

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Sharing the first piece of wedding cake is still a ritual in weddings, but it originated as
a way to ensure fertility for the bride in her attempts to have children. Superstition
says that a bride cannot bake her own wedding cake or taste it before the wedding, or
else risk losing her husband's love. If she keeps a piece of the cake after the wedding,
she supposedly ensures that he will remain faithful.
A way that guests at a wedding can participate in giving the bride and groom a lucky
future is by the tradition of throwing rice. The superstition originated when guests
would throw nuts and grains in the hope of bringing the couple a good harvest and
many children to help with the harvest.
As a symbol of luck, the newly married woman traditionally throws her bouquet to
the unmarried women at the wedding. The one who catches the bouquet is supposedly
the next to be married.
Throwing the bride's garter to the single men at the wedding is a tradition similar to
the bouquet toss. The groom must remove the garter from his new wife's leg and toss
it to the single men at the wedding. It is commonly believed that this man will be the
next one to marry. An older custom in England involved guests raiding the bride's
chamber for stockings. These stockings taken from her room would then be thrown at
the groom. Whoever landed their stocking on the groom's nose would be the next one
to marry. Even earlier than these traditions, it was an ancient custom for the bride or
groom to throw the bride's garter to the marriage witnesses to confirm that their
marriage had been consummated.

American traditions
Weddings in the United States are the most varied and flexible in the world. There are
not many wedding traditions that are unique to the United States because most are
derived from other cultures. Most of these customs stem from Europe. Indeed, it is
considered an American tradition to follow the traditions of one's culture or
religion. That said, some wedding traditions remain as the default the U.S.
It is customary to give newlyweds gifts for their new home together at the wedding
reception. To prevent duplicate gifts and having to return gifts that are not liked, many
couples "register" at department stores. Couples pick out items they would like to
receive as gifts and their friends and family can choose to buy one of those items.

Religious traditions
Jewish
In a Jewish wedding both the bride and the groom are walked down the aisle by both
of their parents, which is different from other religions.
Jewish couples are married under the chupah, which resembles a decorated tent like
structure. This symbolizes that the bride and groom are coming together and creating
a new home. This religious tradition comes from the Biblical wedding of Abraham
and Sarah.

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The ketubah is a Jewish wedding contract. Traditionally, the ketubah was written in
Aramaic, but today many Jews use Hebrew instead. Many couples frame their
ketubah and display it in their home. The rabbi reads this contract under the chupah
after the ring exchange.
Christian
Christian weddings have many traditions that are commonly associated with weddings
in general. The most important traditions for Christian weddings are the blessing and
exchange of wedding bands and the bride and groom each offering his or her own
wedding vows.

Types of weddings ceremonies

Traditional
Traditional, formal, religious weddings are the most common type of wedding in the
United States. Many couples opt to marry in the religious house of their faith, as it is
common for couples to share the same religion. Whether the couple
is Catholic, Jewish, Hindu, or any other religion, it is common practice to get married
in the religious house of that faith. However, many couples today do not share the
same faith. These inter-faith couples can also have a traditional wedding ceremony.
Religious officials have become increasingly cooperative with marrying couples that
are not of the same faith.
It is common for traditional or formal weddings to follow certain norms. These
common practices include designer dresses, groomsmen wearing tuxedos, elaborate
invitations, beautiful flowers, limousine service, and fine dining and live music at a
reception that follows the ceremony.
Destination
Destination weddings are becoming increasingly popular in the United States.
Destination weddings, or "wedding ways" and "wedding moons", allow the couple to
completely design their wedding ceremony to fit the location. From beach weddings
to weddings in Las Vegas or New York City, many Americans are choosing to marry
at a location far from home. The options for destinations are limitless.
Destination weddings have several advantages. From getting to spend an extended
time with family, to an easy transition to a honeymoon, destination weddings are very
appealing. Additionally, while destination weddings can be very expensive, they are
on average less expensive than weddings at home.
Military
A couple whose bride and/or groom is a member of the Armed Forces may have a
military wedding in which the bride and/or groom wears their uniform. A military
wedding is considered a formal wedding and guests should dress formally. Often, the
guests will also be in the armed forces and will wear their uniforms as well.

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 The ushers who are in the armed forces traditionally form an "arch of steel" with their
swords or sabers. However, only active duty servicemen participate, as they can only
carry their sword or saber if they are active duty. The arch is usually formed at the
conclusion of the ceremony, and the head usher signals the formation by yelling
"center face." After the bride and groom pass through the arch, the ushers return to
their bridesmaids to exit with them. Civilian ushers may or may not stand at the arch,
a decision usually made by the bride and groom.
Elopement
To marry by elopement means that the wedding ceremony is done in secret, usually
with just witnesses. Even though eloping seems simple, the marriage's secrecy can
complicate family relationships.

Difference between Muslim and Christian Marriages

Muslim vs. Christian Marriages
Marriage is plays a central role in forming the culture of any socio-religious group. In
Islam Marriage is considered important by all socio-economic groups and The Holy
Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) marriage is half the religion. In Christianity however,
marriage is religious sacrament and it is thought to be a gift from God, one that should
not be taken for granted. Although in today’s time engagement ceremonies are a
globally practiced pre-wedding event, the importance of this ceremony varies
significantly between religions. In Christian traditions, engagement is an important
event and some sects stipulate the minister’s presence at and blessing of the
engagement. The engagement period is 2 years for most sects but can be extended.
While in Islam engagement holds no religious importance and there is no set time for
the engagement to last before the marriage ceremony can take place. In both religions,
the marriage is a contract between a male and a female which results in a physical and
spiritual union of the two.

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Main Differences:

1. Marriage is considered a sacrament in Christianity while it is not so in Islam.

2. Engagement is not of any religious importance in Islam but it is an important
pre-marriage ceremony for Christians.
3. Marriage in most Christian sects takes place in a church but a Muslim
marriage can take place anywhere.
4. Nikah is the only religious requirement for marriage in Islam however in
Christianity there is a sequence of rituals that take place during marriage
ceremony.
5. Polygamy is not allowed in Christianity but Muslim men are allowed to have
up to 4 wives at a time
6. Divorce is considered a sinful act in Christianity but it is not so in Islam.
7. A minimum of 4 witnesses are required for Muslim weddings while a
minimum of 2 witnesses are needed for Christian weddings.
8. Muslim women are to be paid a sum of money that is agreed upon by two
contracting parties at the time of the marriage by the groom.

The Marriage Contract

The marriage contract (aqd-nikah) takes many forms, but its most basic purpose is to
cement the bond between the bride and groom. Often, it will contain the details of the
mahr, or dowry, the groom must pay the family of the bride. Ratifying this contract
usually involves some kind of ceremony—the practice of which varies greatly across
Islam.

Conclusion

The world’s billion or so Muslims practice a faith that is in many ways similar to the
other great religions but that maintains its own unique, sometimes fiercely defended,
traditions. In contrast to Christian and Jewish marriage practices, marriage in Islam
tends to be less individualistic and come in a wider variety of forms and
arrangements. The ceremonies celebrating the union range from something as simple
as a meeting and brief conversation to a lavish public spectacle. Islam’s attitude
toward divorce is at once realistic and regretful. Where it comes to matters
matrimonial, Muslim marriage customs are broad enough to fit nicely into just about
every society on Earth.

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Birth, marriage and death about Islam
Islam Birth and Childhood The first word a Muslim baby hears is Shahadah, the first
pillar of Islam:

―There is no god but Allah, and Muhammad is the messenger of Allah.‖ Although the
circumcision is not mentioned in the Koran. A child’s head is shaved, and he or she is
given a Muslim name. Many boys of course are named Muhammad. Girls are often
named Khadijah, after Muhammad’s first wife, or Fatimah, one of his daughters. The
Koran is central to the education of a Muslim. The most popular phrase translates ―in
the name of Allah the compassionate, the merciful.‖ These words are used as daily
prayers when entering structures and before meals.

Marriage

Marriages are always arranged by families. Some husbands marry 4 wives but most
people don’t follow it. People debate if husbands should marry 4 wives. The marriage
is always simple but the celebrations are fun and joyous. However for men and
women they celebrate separately.

Death

From the 36th surah of the Koran are recited in the final hours of a Muslim’s life. The
funeral is prepared by washing and being wrapped in white sheet. A coffin is not
required.
Moreover, Death is

Up to the point of death relatives will gather around the dying person and recite
verses of the Qur’an with the intention that the Divine reward of the reciting is added
to the good deeds of the dying person. It is hoped that the last words on the lips of the
dying are the Muslim statement of faith, confirming that he or she has indeed died as
a believing Muslim.

There are a number of situations where sudden death of a practising Muslim is treated
as shaheed, (i.e. equivalent to a martyr in battle) such as a violent accident, death
under a collapsed wall or by drowning or by burning.

Miscarried fœtuses over four months into term should also be buried ceremonially.

Suicide is condemned by Islam – the Messenger of Allah refused to perform the

funeral of a suicide.