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Star Trek Voyager The Lost Episodes Part 2
Star Trek Voyager The Lost Episodes Part 2
“You know, we don’t have those until Seven of Nine figures things out
in the Year of Hell episode. Also, Seven of Nine isn’t in this series
yet.”
“But logically, we shouldn’t know about her yet! Her first episode
hasn’t even premiered! These Lost Episodes are set in between Basics
Part Ⅱ and Flashback! We still have the Doctor’s mobile emitter for
some reason, actually, so it would really have to be after Futures
End Part Ⅱ. I don’t get it either.”
Tilly raised her hand, from impulse of her old school days. “Yes, uh,
but how can lorca and I be here with discovery being made in 2018*
and Voyager in 1995?”
*Tilly And Lorca Come From The Time Period Between Into The Forest I
Go, And Despite Yourself. They Warped Here, Do things, and are
returned to the Discovery afterwards.
“Chronology is a concept made up by idiots who wanted everything to
happen quickly because they were impatient.” Perked Up Lorca.
“But we’re like 117 years old in your timeline, and 23 years apart in
real life!” Tilly Complained.
“Quiet, Before We have to make a sequel to Raiders of The Plot Arc.”
Janeway Responded.
Lorca Drew A Sword, and charged at Janeway. Kes, having had 517,000
days to practice, Grabbed The Sword Mid-Movement, and pulled it out
of his hands, HOLDING THE BLADE.
“Oh, Sorry, Sir. I know I talk a lot, you see, Because, yeah, I have
a lot of social anxiety, and because of that, you see, uh, haha-”
Lorca didn’t say anything. He only flexed his fingers, and even Tilly
got the general Idea to be quiet.
A few moments passed.
Meanwhile… Captain Janeway was Very Pleased that Seven had finally
arrived. Really, the only person who missed Paris and Kim was
B’Elanna. She was looking into giving B’Elanna Therapy Sessions.
There had to be something wrong with her. “Greetings.” Seven said,
Walking In. “My Appearance Makes No Logical Sense. I’m Supposed To
first Appear in Scorpion Part Ⅱ.”
Janeway gave one of her dry grins. “Get used to it. Somehow our
ratings have to Compete With DS9, Enterprise and Discovery.”
“Character Development is Essential, Then.” Seven Responded.
“I recommend we Start With Neelix, And Commander Chakotay. Their
Characters are still redeemable, if we have enough time.”
“But I talked to Him!” Janeway Moaned. “Chakotay thinks being Native
American makes you a three dimensional Character!”
“Blasphemy!” Screeched Seven of Nine. “Let us go speak to him!”
Seven ran in and punched commander Chakotay in the face.
“What???” growled Chakotay.
“Your Character is Being Developed. Resistance is Futile.”
“You are out of line!! Make another Mutinus move, and I throw you out
the airlock!”
“Yes, Sir.” She walked away with no comment.
Chapter 11: Raiders Of The Plot Arc Ⅱ: we told you about this 5 pages
ago.
Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
ASIDE FROM FUTURE RAIDERS OF THE PLOT ARC EPISODES, THIS WILL NEVER BE
MENTIONED AGAIN.
“Where are we?” Captain Janeway, Seven of Nine, And Ensign Useless
were all wearing 1920s dress, in a small grassy wasteland next to a
quaint house. There was no road, and no seeming way to exit for miles
upon miles.
“Ah, The Perfect Anomaly.” Janeway commented. “1920s brand.”
She, not being unintelligent, attempted to walk away from the house,
but a strange force field redirected her. “Well, we Can’t Leave.”
Seven of Nine tapped her forearm. She then rubbed her forehead.
“My Borg Implants are gone, captain! By all right, I should be dead!
Yet I am Still Here. Logic seems to have ceased to comply.” Seven
said, clearly worried, for a near emotionless borg drone.
“Fascinating,” said ensign useless.
Meanwhile, Tilly, Lorca, Kira, Archer, Worf, Squirrel Girl, and seska
were plotting against voyager.
Cthulhu warped into existence.
“Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.” said Cthulhu.
“Hi! Uh..” Said Tilly.
“Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.” said Cthulhu.
“What is wrong with this story! Can’t it realize Cthulhu is a one
note character joke that’s going to get less funny as it goes on?”
Seven of Nine was checking through her efficiency roster. She began
in her signature monotone- “Captain, in order to-”
“No.” Said Janeway. “We aren’t getting rid of commander chakotay.”
“But the story!” Seven complained.
Janeway waved Seven’s pad out of her face. “You’re bugging me. I
enstate official shore leave. Go to the holodeck and have fun. That’s
an order.” Seven rolled her eyes, and made her way to holodeck four.
“Computer, activate Seven of Nine Program Alpha Beta One.” She said,
as the holodeck whirred to life.
“Seven of Nine Alpha Beta One Corrupted. Resolving.” Whirred the
computer. “Seven of Nine files irreparable. Finding substitute.”
Seven looked left and right. She was on Tom Paris’s Program-
And It seemed to be far more deadly than she thought it’d be.
“How can we have a black hole inside the ships memory files and not
all be dead?” Janeway asked.
“Yes! All borg drones have a built in plot armour generator!” said
Janeway. “Seven must still have hers!”
Unbeknownst to Janeway and Tuvok, what Seven was dealing with was not
a black hole.
Seven grabbed her phaser from her pocket. She pointed it at the
threat. She began thinking- Why the hell would anyone have a file for
an eldritch abomination combination of a interspatial vortex, a
demogorgon, queen victoria and Cthulhu?
Seven thought to herself that this series was getting far too
ridiculous.
“Expert, Great Telly, cheerio, the copper, mate.” said The eldritch
abomination combination of a interspatial vortex, a demogorgon, queen
victoria and Cthulhu.
Seven, wondering what the absolute heck was going on, began to
scream.
Tom Paris suddenly appeared in the Holodeck. “So, I’m dead.” Paris
said. “Remember what Seska did? You know, in the episode Worst Case
he made a Posthumous Hologram Death Trap. So, I organized
Scenario? S
the computer, if I’m dead, for the next hologram program that is
loaded to basically become a proverbial whoopie cushion. So, sorry,
but you’re trapped in here with Mr. MittilyKiddens.”
Meanwhile…
“If we invert the emitter matrix the tachyon pull could cause the
plot to resolve!” Torres cheered.
Seska sat in her captains chair, trimming her nails. “So?” she asked.
“When are we going to do some plot contribution?”
Tilly paused. “No, the signal is too weak for the other Cthulhu to be
a pure Cthulhu. We’re dealing with a hybrid somewhere.”
Meanwhile…
Meanwhile,
Torres and Ensign Useless had performed a miracle. She hit her
combadge.
“Torres to Janeway!” She said.
“What?” Janeway asked.
“Plot Armour Generator is doing...something right, deactivate the
holodecks!”
TO BE CONTINUED…
Chapter 14: Year of the Equinox of the Basic Future’s End of Unimatrix
Zero Scorpion- The ENDGAME.
As the scorpion cliffhanger music continued, Captain Janeway began
screaming with rage. “GET THIS GOD DANG CTHULHU OUT OF MY GOD DANG
HOLOSUITE!!!!”
“Crap!” Said Janeway. “Seven! Can you fix it with your nanoprobes?”
The Doctor walked onto the bridge. “Seven can fix anything with her
nanoprobes. Unfortunately, the writers have decided us to be stupid
for this episode, and not attempt to assimilate cthulhu into the
voyager collective.”
A voice played over the intercom. It was Seven, whining like a child.
“HIS NAME IS MR. MITTLYKIDDENS! HE’S ONLY PART CTHULHU!!!”
Janeway turns to Chakotay. “It seems seven has been reverted to the
mind of a six year old.”
“When did this stop being a star trek fanfic and start being a
cthulhu fanfic?” The Doctor asked.
“Do it!” said Janeway. “Get down there and help Seven!”
Captain Janeway downed a cup of coffee. “You know what this story
needs? An Obligatory Star Trek Cameo. We need someone really good to
give us more ratings.”
“What about the other shows?” Ensign Useless asked. “Also yes, I may
have disappeared for the last few chapters, sorry.”
“So,” Said Janeway, “I think our best chance for ratings, out of all
of these choices, is Seven of Nine.”
The Doctor rolled his eyes. “Last time, I checked, Disconnected Borg
Drones don’t grow on trees.”
“Goddang watch me,” Said Janeway, who took a Syringe of Seven’s DNA
and sprayed it into a nearby flower pot.
The Doctor Groaned. “That doesn’t count. We can’t get Seven’s a dime
a dozen.”
“Sure.” said The Borg. “can we have some analysis’s on your genetic
makeup?”
“Doesn’t seem like we’re being double crossed to me!” said Janeway.
“Who would have thought the borg were trustworthy?”
Janeway walked into her ready room. “It’s safe.” she muttered.
Captain Georgiou walked out of the shadows.
“They don’t suspect anything yet?” she asked, in her distinct accent.
“Maybe Chakotay.” Janeway responded.
“If they learn what’s happened to the real you...things could be
distinctly dangerous. I want you safe, Kathryn.”
“You’re far too overprotective.”
“And You are too trusting.” Georgiou glared. “I won’t let our plan go
to ruin.” Janeway smiled. “It won’t.” Janeway walked out of the ready
room onto the bridge. Georgiou made a faint smile, almost a smirk.
She sat in the captain’s chair, and began typing on her computer…
Kes walked in. “Tuvok! I’m sensing...Something from beyond the time
frame! It..Burns!”
Kes clutched her head and collapsed.
“Tuvok to sickbay!” Tuvok yelled, somehow still not portraying
emotion. “Medical emergency!”
“Alright, yes!” said The Doctor. “The writer of the story doesn’t
know medical science! He made something up!”
“Fine! What do you think is wrong with her, without using sciencey
terms!” Chakotay said, exasperated.
“I’m sorry. She is beyond dead. You have a few minutes left.”
Chakotay growled. “Kes, what did you mean beyond the time frame?”
“Dang.” muttered Chakotay. “Get me Mr. Neelix. Tuvok, with me. We’re
gonna talk to the captain.”
Kes screamed in agony, and flatlined, right behind them. They didn’t
notice, because of the plot.
Kes’s ghost popped up out of the body. “Oh Come on, does anyone care
about me??”
“That’s a rumor.”
“Sarek is one with mind powers! It’d be fun if it was Sarek!” Neelix
gleefully chattered.
“With all due respect, Mr. Neelix, A vulcan of such esteem would not
be evil.” Tuvok began.
“But this is irrelevant. They are not here. The Computer informed us
of such.” Tuvok summarized.
“So you know my true plan…” Whispered Janeway, cocking her head.
Janeway smiled, and calmly replaced her starfleet badge with a terran
one.
“The Mirror Universe is combining with this one. I’m afraid the
reflection… is killing your precious pacifistic federation.”
“BOW BEFORE THE EMPEROR!” The Voices Echoed, with a dramatic fade to
black.
*COMMERCIAL BREAK*
*IN A STORY*
*IF YOU SWITCH TO GEICO YOU CAN SAVE 15% OR MORE ON CAR INSURANCE*
Chakotay, Tuvok and Neelix were thrown into the brig, where they
found Torres, Ensign Useless, The Doctor and Seven of Nine.
“Mirror Georgiou is the Discovery character.” Seven muttered.
“Yeah, I noticed.” Muttered Chakotay, shrugging off the effects of
the phaser stun that shot him.
“Whatever is going on, it has to do with me, 8 other copies of me,
The Borg, Captain Janeway’s Sudden Loss of Logic, and The Mirror
Universe.” Seven continued.
“So we get out of the brig, we find Janeway, deactivate the agony
chip, and hope nothing goes horribly wrong and we have a season
cliffhanger.” Ensign Useless summarized.
Seven perked up. “Have all of the writers forgotten that as a borg, I
am immune to force fields, such as the ones keeping us in this cell?”
Seven nonchalantly stuck her hand through the forcefield.
“Oh wow, I forgot all of the bullcrap a borg drone is capable of.”
“I could kill this whole ship if I wanted to.” Seven muttered, and
walked over to the console controlling the forcefield.
“I literally could just leave you there.” Seven said in her usual
deadpan.
“Nevermind!”
Seven pressed the console, and everyone walked out of the cell.
“So, Captain. You know the plan. I’ve been waiting…” Georgiou
muttered impatiently.
“And we… go!” Gleefully cheered Georgiou, who depite being gleeful,
had a subtle voice of maliciousness.
The Ship Warped.
The Crew of the USS Voyager was suddenly very unaware of where they
were. “Did you mess up the god forsaken CALCULATIONS!??!?” Yelled
Georgiou.
Georgiou growled. “Obey!” She Screamed. “We have arrived where you
told me to go! Now you will speak to them!”
“Yes?”
TO BE CONTINUED....