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Night of The Living Pharmacists
Night of The Living Pharmacists
Night of The Living Pharmacists
(Cut to:)
♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! ♪
(Perry hang-glides onto the balcony. He walks around and gets trapped in a disco
ball. Norm picks up the trapped platypus and hangs him onto a wire where the ball
rotates around and he dances with Doof.)
(Song: Disco Miniature Golfing Queen (instrumental))
Doofenshmirtz: Woohoo! Time to boogie, baby! Whoo! Whoo! My hustle's out of muscle
but I can still shake my brick house or whatever the kids are calling it these
days. (a kitchen timer dings) Norm, get the doonkelberry pie out of the oven,
wouldja?
Norm: You got it, sir!
Doofenshmirtz: (turns the music off) Vanessa's having some friends over for a
little get-together, but I digress. Behold! The Repulse-inator! Whoever I hit with
this inator will automatically become repulsive. (pushes the inator closer to the
edge of the balcony) And, wouldn't you know it, my brother, Roger, is dedicating a
new Danville water tower right below my ledge! Once he's hit by a beam from this
baby, he'll become so abominable, so disgusting, so hideous, so noxious, so
grotesque, (cut to reveal Doof reading from a thesaurus) so ghastly... Uh, anyway,
Roger will become so repulsive that his popularity will plunge and mine will
skyrocket by comparison, facilitating moi to take over the entire Tri-State Area!
(Perry gives him a look) Don't look at me like that! I gotta good feeling about
today! It's gonna happen. The only trouble with it is that this particular inator
requires a lot more power than any other inator I've created for some bizarre
reason. And, uh, I only have one functioning wall outlet in the lab. (cut to reveal
the wall outlet overloaded with electrical wires and things) So, I'm gonna put a
lot of strain on that.
Norm: Your pie, sir.
Doofenshmirtz: Thank you, Norm. Owwww!! Ow! This is hot!
Norm: Oops. Sorry, sir.
Doofenshmirtz: Did that just come right out of the oven?
Norm: (offscreen) Well, my hands are metal.
Doofenshmirtz: Well, now, mine are bacon, apparently. (shakes his hands) Look, I'm
shakin' bacon! You like that? It's a callback to something I didn't even hear! In
your face, logic!
Norm: Here's a potholder, sir.
Doofenshmirtz: Thank you. (to Perry) I'm gonna take this downstairs to Vanessa.
Party on, Perry the Platypus! (he flips the switch and the music and disco lights
resume)
Isabella: You're right! I should tell Phineas how I feel! Later, girls! Gotta
bounce! (jumps out the window and bounces back up) Literally!
Act III
(Open on a dark alley where Phineas and the gang are still bouncing.)
Phineas: Woohoo!
Isabella: Phineas! Hey, Phineas, I need to talk to you!
Phineas: Okay.
Isabella: No, (stops him from bouncing) I really need to talk to you and I'm just
gonna jump right to it! The thing about that Emotional Bravery Patch is that I need
to tell you...
Mrs. Feyersied: (offscreen) No! No! No! Get away! Aaah!
Isabella: Mrs. Feyersied? (to Phineas) One second please. (Isabella runs over,
lifts up her belt and instantly changes into her Fireside Girl uniform.) Good
evening, ma'am. Fireside Girl Isabella Garcia-Shapiro Troop 46231. What's the
emergency?
Mrs. Feyersied: Pharmacists! Pharmacists!!!
(Mrs. Feyersied runs away, followed by other Danvillians fleeing in terror.)
Isabella: What does that even mean?
(Cut to Phineas bouncing alone joined by the other boys.)
Phineas: What's everybody running from?
Baljeet: Uh, perhaps that?
(Whip pan right to reveal Irving alone filming something.)
Phineas: (offscreen) Irving?
Irving: Hi, guys!
Baljeet: (offscreen) No, that! Over there!
(Whip pan left to reveal dozens of Doof zombies stalking rampant and transforming
everyone they bump into.)
Doof zombies: Lots of me... Lots of me...
(Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro and the inexplicable Giant Floating Baby Head get touched and
transform.)
Buford: Well, that sure wiggles my biscuits.
Phineas, Buford and Baljeet: Run!!!
(They run away screaming and lean against a brick wall.)
Buford: What was that?!
Phineas: It's...some kind of pharmacist! And if he touches you, you turn into a
pharmacist, too!
Buford: I can't be a pharmacist! I know nothing about pharmaceuticals!
Baljeet: Then we gotta make sure those things never touch us!
Doof zombie: (touches Baljeet) Lots of me...
(The boys scream and run away. Buford picks Phineas up with the intention of using
him as a living shield. Baljeet runs away from the zombie, somehow unaffected.)
Buford: Stay back! You're infected!
Phineas: Buford, put me down!
Baljeet: I...I am okay! Really!
Buford: (puts Phineas down) Why are you okay?
Baljeet: I do not know!
Ferb: Perhaps our rubberized skin might be acting as an insulator.
Phineas: Of course! The contagion must be transmitted by electrostatic charge!
Doof zombies: Lots of me... Lots of me..., etc.
(The gang screams.)
Phineas: Let's bounce, guys! (They bounce away. Phineas comes back down.)
Literally. (He bounces back up.)
Baljeet: How long is the rubberization effect supposed to last?
Phineas: Not much longer!
Buford: I wanna recharge!
Phineas: Good idea! Let's get back to the backyard and re-rubberize!
(Cut to D.E.I. We hear the news on television. Cut to inside to reveal Doof
watching the news.)
Gordon Gutsofanemu: Good evening, I'm Gordon Gutsofanemu with a special report. The
Tri-State Area is in chaos tonight as thousands of repulsive mindless pharmacists
run rampant all over Danville!
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, there they go with the whole "pharmacist" thing again! I-I
should become one, that-that would show 'em! I should become a pharmacist!
Gordon Gutsofanemu: We now go live on the scene with our own Action News reporter,
Don Adaded. Don?
Don Adaded: Thanks, Gordon. I'm standing here in downtown Danville. It's an
unbelievable scene. Pharmacists touching people who turn into pharmacists. Ah,
here's one of them now. Mr. Mindless Repulsive Pharmacist, care to comment?
Doof zombie: Lots of me... (touches Don)
Don Adaded: And there you have it, folks. I'm...
(Don gets transformed.)
Doof zombie (Don Adaded): Lots of me...
Gordon Gutsofanemu: (clearly frightened) Thanks...Don. L-Let's go to the weather.
Doof zombie (Weatherman): Lots of me...let's go to traffic...
(Cut to the chopper.)
Doof zombie (pilot): Lots of me...
Doof zombie (co-pilot): Back to you, Gordon...
Doof zombie (Gordon Gutsofanemu): Lots of me...
(Cut back to Doof's lab.)
Doofenshmirtz: I don't believe it! An entire army of mes! Heh heh! (runs to the
elevator) Oh! For once, I'll actually be able to take over the Tri-State Area
'cause I'll have, you know, the volume. Ciao, baby!
(Song: Army of Me)
The Fake Andrews Sisters: ♪ Who's that guy with the lab coat on? ♪
Doofenshmirtz: I wonder who.
The Fake Andrews Sisters: ♪ Who's that guy with the vacant expression? ♪
Doofenshmirtz: I'll never tell.
The Fake Andrews Sisters: ♪ It's not a conclusion that it's so forgone. ♪
Doofenshmirtz: ♪ Okay, it's me, ♪
♪ And me, ♪
♪ And me, ♪
♪ And also me! ♪
Over there, that's me, too.
The Fake Andrews Sisters: ♪ Who's that guy with the jutting jaw? ♪
Doofenshmirtz: Yeah, baby!
The Fake Andrews Sisters: ♪ Who's that guy with the receding forehead? ♪
Doofenshmirtz: Hey!
The Fake Andrews Sisters: ♪ Who's that guy living outside of the law? ♪
Doofenshmirtz: ♪ Oh, that's me, ♪
♪ And me, ♪
♪ And me, ♪
♪ And also me! ♪
♪ Get out of my way, ♪
♪ 'Cause anyone can see, ♪
♪ I'm about to settle down for some serious me-time! ♪
The Fake Andrews Sisters: ♪ If you painted his picture, ♪
♪ It would have to be a mural. ♪
Doofenshmirtz: ♪ 'Cause I'm tellin' you now, ♪
♪ I've never been so plural! ♪
Doofenshmirtz and the Fake Andrews Sisters: ♪ Look outside, you're bound to see ♪
Doofenshmirtz: ♪ An army of me! ♪
The Fake Andrews Sisters: ♪ An army of him. ♪
Doofenshmirtz: ♪ An army of me! ♪
I'm ubiquitous, really, I'm everywhere!
♪ An army of me! ♪
The Fake Andrews Sisters: ♪ An army of him. ♪
Doofenshmirtz: ♪ A whole army of me! ♪
Doof zombie (female singer): ♪ Ah-dah, doo'n dah'n dah wow! ♪
(Cut to the Flynn-Fletcher house. Phineas and the boys bounce into the backyard.)
Doof zombies: Lots of me...,etc.
Phineas: Hurry! We're losing our bounce!
(Cut to the backyard to reveal a Doof zombie destroying the rubberization machine.)
Baljeet: Oh no! The pharmacists trashed the machine! Can we rebuild it?
Phineas: We can try, but we should do it inside. There's too many pharmacists out
here. Our rubberization is fading fast.
Buford: (attempts to bounce but falls) I DIDN'T BOUNCE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
(They walk into the living room and follow Buford screaming.)
Phineas: (closing the sliding door) Okay. We gotta get started on another
rubberization ray.
Buford: (runs and screams)
Phineas: Right after we calm down Buford.
(Cut to Stacy in her living room reconfiguring her television set. She turns it on
successfully.)
Stacy: Yes! Next, popcorn.
(She walks into the other room while the TV shows a Doof zombie in the newsroom.)
Doof zombie: Lots of me... Lots of me...,etc.
(Stacy walks back into the room and switches to her DVD screen.)
Stacy: And so begins The Grievance movie marathon. Special edition box set. Oh,
yeah. "Hey, Stacy, didja hook up that whole system by yourself?" "Yeah, no biggie.
Do it all the time." Heh heh. I rule.
(Cut to the D.E.I. living room where Candace, Vanessa and the girls are watching
the French film.)
Candace: So this is a French film subtitled in Spanish. Why is that lady wearing a
goat head?
Birgitte: Art isn't art unless it's difficult.
Candace: Mmm-hmm.
(A banging on the door is heard. Lacie walks up to the peephole and sees a Doof
zombie behind it.)
Doof zombie: (growls)
Lacie: Hey, Vanessa? Your dad's at the door.
Vanessa: Ugh! It's okay, don't pause it. (She opens the door to reveal three Doof
zombies behind it.)
Doof zombies: Lots of me... Lots of me... Lots of me...,etc.
Vanessa: Okay. (closes door) Something's weird here, because I know I only have one
of those. Lemme call him and see what's up. Hmm. Voicemail. Odd. Dad, your weird
clone-thingies are down here. Could you please just—
(A Doof zombie bursts his arms through the door.)
Vanessa: Aaaaaahh!!
Doof zombies: Lots of me... Lots of me... Lots of me...,etc.
Punk girls: Aaaaaaahhh!!! (they run away)
Vanessa: Come on, Candace! Come on, come on! Get in! (they run into her bedroom and
close the door) Okay, that's really wrong. Even by my dad's standards.
Dana: Check it out! (looks at her phone) It's all over the web! This isn't just
going on in this building. They're all over town and according to this, if one
touches you, you become one of them!
Punk Girls: Ewwww!
Lacie: We're doomed!
Candace: What's the big deal? I see weird stuff like this all the time.
Birgitte: I want my mommy!
Lacie: Life's gonna end and I'm wearing a fake tattoo!
Heather: Someone's gotta help us! I mean, we're in danger!
Candace: (through the side of her mouth) What a bunch of babies. (gasps) Wait a
minute! Weird situation plus danger equals Phineas and Ferb! Okay, calm down. I'm
on it! (dials her phone) Mom? Mom, I want you to check and see if the boys are
creating zombies!
(Cut to Linda in the bedroom putting away her laundry.)
Linda: Oh, I love it when teenagers get together and do party pranks! Do you win
the game if I actually do what you say?
(Cut to the front yard of the Flynn-Fletcher house. Linda joins her husband.)
Linda: I just love blackouts. They're kind of exciting in a way.
Lawrence: Yeah, oh, yes. And it's one of the few times you get to meet your
neighbors.
Doof zombie: Lots of me...
Lawrence: Like this fellow here. Hello. Pleased to meet you. I'm Lawrence.
(Lawrence shakes his hand but he and Linda transform into Doof zombies.)
Doof zombie, Doof zombie (Linda) and Doof zombie (Lawrence): Lots of me...
(Cut to Phineas watching from behind the curtains.)
Phineas: Oh no! They got Mom and Dad! And without power, there's no way to repair
the circuits!
Buford: Game over, man! We're doomed!
Baljeet: No! There is always a way! Isabella teaches the emergency preparedness
class for the Fireside Girls. She could build a generator in her sleep. Is that not
right, Isabella? (who is not here)
Phineas: Isabella? I...I thought she was... Didn't anyone... Who saw her last? (He
freaks out just like Buford.)
Buford: "Buford, chill out. You're fine." I'm vindicated.
(Cut to somewhere in Danville where all the Doof zombies are doing their wreckage.)
Man 3: There's no Internet!
Man 4: I've got to know what's going on!
Martin the News Vendor: Yeah! Print is back, baby!
Man 4: Wait, this is all stuff that happened yesterday! (runs and screams)
(A Doof zombie touches Martin.)
Doof zombie (Martin the News Vendor): Lots of me, baby...
Act IV
(Scene opens on Perry grabbed by what appears to be a Doof zombie, but is actually
the real Doofenshmirtz.)
Doofenshmirtz: Lots of me... Naw, I'm just kidding! It's...It's me! But those guys
are annoying, aren't they? Anyway, welcome to my Startle Space. I wanted a panic
room, but it was just prohibitively expensive. I just had to get to a place where I
could clear my head, man. Those other mes, they're really workin' my last nerve.
"Lots of me... Lots of me..." One of me is fine, but, ih, I can really be annoying
en masse. I'll admit it. So, uh, are you hungry? I got plenty of food. (Perry takes
down a can of almond brittle.) Or maybe you wanna play a game. I got some old
Drusselstein board games here, like, ooh, "Kleptocracy"! Vanessa used to love this
game when she was a— (gasps) Vanessa! Oh no! She's still in the building! We need
to stop those mes before they get to her or, or she could turn into me! That's
every child's worst nightmare! Well, (Stammers) not me, specifically, other
children are afraid of turning into me. It's just that I'm saying turning into your
parent. That's what's scary. (gasps) Vanessa! Vanessa! (He runs out the door.)
Doof zombie: Lots of me..., etc.
(Wipe right to another alleyway. Shaun from the film Shaun of the Dead appears.)
Shaun: Don't touch me! I don't want to be a pharmac—! Wait a second... That doesn't
even make sense. You get touched by a pharmacist, you become a pharmacist? I mean,
you can't just grow a lab coat.
Ed: I don't know, perhaps the disease infects your clothin' as well.
Shaun: Infects my c— Are you insinuating that my clothes are alive? That's scarier
than these pharmacist saying... (gets touched and transforms)
Doof zombie (Shaun): Lots of me...
Ed: Oh, I s'pose I didn't really think that through. (gets touched and transforms)
Doof zombie (Ed): Lots of me...
(Cut to a playground also invaded by Doof zombies. Cut to a street where the now
protected Phineas and the boys sneak away hurriedly.)
Phineas: Okay, guys. Fireside Girls Headquarters is only a couple of blocks away.
(The Hightail Delivery truck's door lifts open revealing even more zombies.)
Phineas: Whoa! Look alive, boys!
Doof zombies: Lots of me... Lots of me..., etc.
(The boys crawl on their hands and knees and roll down a hill and run to a darkened
street corner where they see a four-legged shadowy figure.)
Buford: Oh, hey, it's a dog. Here boy! (whistles)
(The "dog" walks into the light to reveal it is actually Agent G, the goat agent,
now in the shape of Doof.)
Doof zombie (Agent G): Baaa...
(Buford runs backwards and screams.)
Doof zombie (Agent O): (hoots)
Phineas: What the?
Doof zombie (Agent M): (screeches)
(More OWCA agents are revealed to have taken on the shape of Doof.)
Phineas: Oh no! The contagion must have a different effect on animals!
(The Doof zombies/OWCA agents all chase the boys. Agent C attempts to peck at Ferb.
Baljeet throws a trash can at Agent M. Buford gets chased by Agent Pig. Buford and
Baljeet get a mop and wheeled bucket and swipe the mop at the animal-Doofs. Phineas
and Ferb ride on the mop.)
Phineas: They're following us!
Buford: Hold on! I'll try to lose 'em! Feet up, Ferb!
(Cut to Agent P still on his hang-glider seeing the boys get chased by the former
OWCA agents. He follows them. He gets caught by a bunch of hanging clotheslines,
which fling the Doof zombie animals backwards.)
Phineas: Looks like we lost 'em!
(The boys are now in the middle of a swarm of human zombies.)
Buford: Yes and no! Aaaaaaahhhh!
(Cut to D.E.I.)
Doofenshmirtz: Vanessa! Vanessa! Alright, alright, party's over! I've had it up to
here with you mes! Y'know, I'm really getting sick of the sound of my own voice.
Now I understand where Charlene was coming from.
Doof zombies: (crowding Doof) Lots of me... Lots of me..., etc.
Doofenshmirtz: AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
(Cut to the D.E.I. door where the zombies carry Doof out of the building and dump
him on the sidewalk.)
Doof zombies: Less of me... Less of me... Less of me...
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, typical. Typical. Yeah, turn on your creator. You guys are all
cliché, I'm just letting you know!
Act V
(Scene opens on Vanessa's bedroom. Candace blockades the door further with a
couch.)
Candace: That should hold 'em.
Vanessa: Okay, guys, we gotta figure out a plan.
Birgitte: We should totally split up!
Lacie: I'm gonna go hide in the bathroom where it's safe.
Dana: I know. I'll run off to check an obscure noise in the kitchen!
Heather: I'm gonna slowly walk backwards into a dimly lit room.
Candace: Really? See, if they watch more domestic horror films, they'd know...
Lacie: (groans offscreen)
Vanessa: Lacie? Are you okay? (walks up to the bathroom door)
Lacie: Oh. Yeah.
Vanessa: Feeling safer in there?
Lacie: (stoic) L-Lots.
Vanessa: Cool.
Candace: Wait a minute.
(Opens the door to reveal Doof zombies in the bathroom.)
Doof zombies: Lots of me... Lots of me..., etc.
Candace: (gasps)
Lacie: (gets transformed) Lots of...
Doof zombie (Lacie): ...me...
Candace and Vanessa: Run!
(Candace and Vanessa un-blockade the door and run out, leaving the other punk girls
behind.)
Dana: Oh, I knew we shouldn't have split up!
Doof zombie: (touching them) Lots of me...
Punk girls: (gasping)
Dana: Aaiiiiieeee!
(They transform.)
Doof zombies (Punk girls): Lots of me...
Doof zombies: Lots of me...,etc.
(Cut to Fireside Girls Headquarters.)
Giant Floating Doofy Zombie Head (Giant Floating Baby Head): Lots of me...
(Gretchen and Ginger, standing on each other's shoulders and dressed as a
pharmacist zombie, return to Fireside Girls Headquarters)
Gretchen: Katie, bar the door. (Katie does so) Is she back yet?
Holly: No sign of her. We've searched everywhere.
Milly: Where could she be?
Gretchen: She's probably still with Phineas and Ferb. She'll make it.
(a collection of tin cans ring out as an alarm)
Adyson: Perimeter alert! We have incoming.
Gretchen: Stations, everyone! (to Ginger) Put out that light. (Ginger does so)
Katie?
Katie: Yup. (turns to the door) Friend or pharmacist?
Phineas: (behind door) It's us, let us in! (Katie opens the door; Phineas, Ferb,
Baljeet and Buford enter)
Adyson: It's Phineas and Ferb!
Ginger: And Baljeet.
Phineas: Isabella, are you here?
Gretchen: (gasps) We thought she was with you.
Adyson: Isabella's still out there?
Buford: I toldja, man! She's probably wearin' a lab coat by now!
Phineas: It can't be!
Baljeet: I am afraid Buford is right, Phineas.
Doof zombie: Lots of me... (chatters teeth like Perry)
Baljeet: The odds of anyone surviving out there for this long—
Phineas: If anyone can do it, Isabella can!
Buford: It doesn't matter anyway! Sooner or later, they're gonna figure out we're
in here and then they're gonna come in here! They're gonna come in here and they're
gonna come in here and they're gonna come in here and they're gonna—
Gretchen: (slaps Buford) Lock it down, solider! No one is gonna get in here, ya
hear me?!
Buford: I am so in love with her right now.
Phineas: Okay, I'm running out of ideas. I don't know where she could be.
(A floorboard is heard banging. The boys and the Fireside Girls all gasp. The trap
door opens up to reveal...)
Isabella: I'm right here.
Phineas: Isabella! I'm so sorry we lost track of you.
Isabella: There's no time! We have a job to do!
Adyson, Ginger and Gretchen: (infatuated) OooooOOOooooh!
Isabella: We may be the only non-pharmacists left in Danville. I think I figured
out where this started. And if we could get there, we might be able to figure out
how it started and reverse it.
Phineas: Wait. How did you find out where it started?
Isabella: (uncapping a marker) Well, I'm glad you asked.
(Song: Triangulation)
Isabella: ♪ Roger Doofenshmirtz, we know, is six feet and two inches tall ♪
♪ And the beam that hit him left a weird impression on that wall. ♪
♪ So I took the angle from that point of where I knew he stood, ♪
♪ And I found the building just like that because I understood. ♪
Fireside Girls: ♪ Triangulation! ♪
Isabella: ♪ That's how I figured it out. ♪
Fireside Girls: ♪ Triangulation! ♪
Isabella: ♪ Now I'm left with no doubt. ♪
♪ The only geometric process using data I possess... ♪
Isabella and the Fireside Girls: ♪ That could pinpoint the conclusion of my
scientific quest. ♪
♪ Triangulaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaation! ♪
Baljeet: ♪ Cha cha cha! ♪ That is a mighty upbeat song for a desperate situation.
Phineas: Huh, that building looks familiar.
(Isabella lifts up the screen she was using as a whiteboard during the song to
reveal the D.E.I. building out the window.)
Phineas: Oh. I guess that's why. Y'know, it might be a good idea to board that
window.
Katie: Oh! So that's why there was so much wood left over.
(Cut to Isabella as a Doof zombie arm attempts to grab her.)
Doof zombie: Lots of me... Lots of me...
Katie: And I definitely should have closed the window! (gets grabbed by the other
Fireside Girls) Eeee!
(Phineas, the gang, and the girls all climb down the trap door. Cut to outside the
headquarters. Pan right to a stump. It opens and Isabella checks to see if the
coast is clear. She and the other Fireside Girls climb out of the stump. The other
Fireside Girls put on their pharmacist zombie disguises.)
Phineas: Now what?
Isabella: We've gotta make our way to that building! I'm sure we'll find our
answers there!
(They all run towards the building.)
(Cut to Agent P looking through binoculars. He sees the kids running toward the
building. He looks up to see the street bombarded with Doof zombies. He gets on his
hang-glider and flies away.)
(Cut back to the gang. The Fireside Girls all pharmacist up to blend in with the
crowd.)
Doof zombies: Lots of me..., etc.
(Agent P fires his grappling hook downwards and it hits a trashcan. The zombies get
distracted by it and follow it.)
Gretchen: Where're they going?
Isabella: Doesn't matter. They're distracted. Let's move!
Doof zombies: Lots of me..., etc.
(Overhead shot to reveal the Doof zombies in a repo yard. Perry glides away from
them and closes the gate. He then looks in fear as he sees Agent F, Agent K, Agent
Bulldog, Agent Porcupine and Agent Pinky all transformed into Doof zombies!)
Doof Zombie (Pinky the Chihuahua): (growls)
(Cut to the D.E.I. hallway where Candace and Vanessa run from the zombies.)
Candace: In here!
(Candace and Vanessa walk into the stairway door. Vanessa ties the knob with a fire
hose.)
Vanessa: Ugh!
Candace: Phew!
(Thumping on the door is heard outside.)
Candace: What's going on with your dad?
Vanessa: I don't know. His schemes aren't normally this successful.
Candace: Wait! Phineas and Ferb!
Vanessa: I'm pretty sure this was not them.
Candace: No, I know. But they'll know what to do about it. (banging on the door)
Come on! Come on! Let's move!
Vanessa: I'm right behind ya!
Act VI
(Scene opens where we left Isabella. Phineas walks up to her.)
Isabella: I'm going back for them!
Phineas: You can't help them now!
(A Doof zombie presses its face against the glass.)
Phineas and Isabella: (scream)
(Phineas squishes the zombie into the revolving door.)
Phineas: Quick! Find something to block this door!
Buford: It ain't gonna be easy without ruinin' the feng shui of the lobby.
Phineas: Hurry! (A zombie rips his sleeve.) I'm exposed!
Isabella: Phineas, use this! (Tosses the Emotional Bravery Patch to him.)
Phineas: (catches the patch) Thanks! (He covers the rip with the patch.)
(Ferb blocks the door with a plant.)
Phineas: Nice work, bro! Thanks, Isabella! Are you all right?
Isabella: I'm all right.
Phineas: Buford, you okay?
Buford: I'm okay? (to Baljeet) You okay?
Baljeet: I am fine.
(A Doof zombie appears behind Baljeet and touches his face.)
Doof zombie: Lots of me...
Baljeet: (gasps and screams as he transforms)
Buford: BALJEET!!!!
Baljeet: Lots of...
Doof zombie (Baljeet): ...me...
Buford: (takes off his clown mask) That's it!
Phineas: Buford, what are you doing?
Buford: Look, I just lost my nerd! I'm not gonna lose the rest of my friends, too!
(takes off his rubber duckies)
Phineas: But, Buford, that's—
Buford: (stripping down to his underdrawers) Come on, you freaks! Fresh meat!
(screams) Yippee-ki-yay, you pharmacist freaks! Yippee-ki—
(Outside, he gets touched and transforms.)
Buford: (offscreen) Lots of...
Doof zombie (Buford): ...me...
Phineas: Y'know, he really could've been bait without taking his clothes off.
Isabella: Uh, yeah.
(Cut back to the lobby. Phineas and Ferb blockade the revolving door with the water
cooler.)
Phineas: That'll hold for now. But we gotta move before—
(A zombie makes his way through the door somehow.)
Phineas: Really?! Come on, guys! Head for the stairs!
Doof zombies: Lots of me..., etc.
Phineas: (attempts to open the stairway door) It's locked!
Isabella: Now what?!
Phineas: Any ideas?
Isabella: I got nothin'!
Phineas: Ferb?
Ferb: I'm petrified beyond all capacity for rational thought.
(The door behind them opens revealing Candace and Vanessa.)
Phineas: Candace?
Candace: Phineas!
Isabella: Candace!
Candace: Isabella?
Vanessa: Ferb!
Ferb: (no comment)
Phineas: Candace!
Candace: Phineas!
Isabella: Candace!
Candace: Isabella?
Vanessa: Ferb!
Ferb: (no comment)
Phineas: Candace!
Candace: Phineas!
Isabella: Enough! We have to get upstairs!
Candace: No way! The whole upstairs is crawling with ph—
Doof zombies: Lots of me..., etc.
Candace: Stairwell it is! What's with the rubber?
Phineas: It insulates against the infection.
Candace: I don't even wanna know how you figured that one out.
End credits
(Song: Lots of Me)
Doof zombies: ♪ Lo-Lo-Lots of me... ♪
♪ Lo-Lo-Lots of me... ♪
♪ Lots of me... ♪
♪ Lo-Lo-Lots of me... ♪