DOVE PRINTS

March 2009 Volume 14, Issue 3

March Grief Support Activities

Fort Worth

Grief Support Group

When: 5 Week Series – Every Tuesday beginning

March 3rd, 6:00 p.m.

Where: Community Hospice of Texas

Fort Worth Office

6100 Western Place, Suite 500

Please call 817-882-1252 to let us know you will be attending or for further information.

Birthday Breakfast Club

When: First Monday of the Month

(March 2nd), 9:00 am – 10:30am

Where: Ol’ South Pancake House

1509 S. University Dr. Fort Worth

Everyone is invited. Come join us for coffee, breakfast and friendship.

Walk/Sit at the Mall

When: Every Wednesday, 9:00 to 10:30 a.m.

Where: Hulen Mall Food Court (close to Dairy Queen)

Come join us to walk or just sit and talk, drink coffee and socialize.

Lunch Club

When: Fourth Tuesday of each month (March 24th)

11:30 a.m. to 1:00 p.m.

Where: Ryan’s Steak House

1501 S. Cherry Lane, Fort Worth

Mexia

Lunch Bunch

When: First and Third Tuesday of each month

(March 3rd & March 17th)

12:00 to 1:00 p.m.

Where: First Tuesday – The Farm House Restaurant

810 E. Milam, Mexia

Third Tuesday – Magic China Restaurant

701 N. Hwy. 14, Mexia

Dallas

Grief Support Group

When: 5 Week Series – Every Tuesday beginning

April 7th, 6:30 p.m.

Where: Community Hospice of Texas

Dallas Office

1341 W. Mockingbird, Suite 210 E

Please call 214-920-8450 to let us know you will be attending or for further information.

Waco

Walk/Sit at the Mall

When: Each Tuesday at 9:00 a.m.

Join us at the Food Court to walk or just sit and drink coffee and socialize.

Grief Support Group

When: Second Thursday of each month

5:30 to 7:00 p.m.

Where: Providence Hospice

4839 Lakewood Drive, Suite 2, Waco

Bring your favorite game and join us for a time of socializing and games.

Rainbows

Rainbows is a support group for children K thru 12 grades. This group is for children who have
experienced a loss either by death or divorce. Please call 254-399-9099 for more information.

Bereavement Support Group

When: Each Wednesday from 5:30 – 6:30 p.m.

Where: Providence Hospice

4830 Lakewood Dr., Suite 2, Waco

Contact Amy Raborn at 254-399-9099 or 1-800-625-9328 to register.

“We’ll Have to Keep It!”

By: Darcie D. Sims,Ph.D.

Bereavement Magazine March/April 1996

It’s spring, and in our family it’s time again for the annual Trash or Treasure Day. That’s the day when
we all gather to sift and sort, clean and clear – not only the closets, but the attic as well. Being a
military family for twenty-eight years, you would think there would be very little to argue about; but
like most families, we do have a number of “pack rats” who share the same last name. Those of us who
are “neatnicks” look forward to T or T Day, while others face this spring day with dread. It is a time of
cleansing the spirit as well as the closets.

What are we going to do with Grandpa’s shoes? They’re black and shiny, and he hardly ever wore
them; but the last time he wore them was to walk one of us down the aisle. We can’t get rid of them.
We’ll have to keep them!

What are we going to do with Grandma’s purse? It’s pink and purple with lots of flowers. There is an
old hankie in the bottom, and she hardly ever carried it; but the last time she carried it was to visit one
of us. We can’t get rid of it. We’ll have to keep it!
What are we going to do with Uncle’s fishing pole? He hardly ever caught anything; but the last time
he used it, we were with him and he caught two tiny trout. We can’t get rid of that. We’ll have to keep
it.

What are we going to with Auntie’s hat? It’s big and straw and really ugly and she always wore it. The
last time she wore it was at Uncle’s funeral, and we were all there, and she hugged us and told us
stories of better times. We can’t get rid of that. We’ll have to keep it.

What are we going to do with Brother’s bowling trophy? The one he made into a lamp? He hardly ever
turned it on, but he was so proud of it; and the last time we saw it, he had just dusted it. We can’t get
rid of it. We’ll have to keep it.

What are we going to do with the dog’s collar? It’s red and frayed and most of the rhinestones are
missing. He always had it on. The last time he wore it was when he went to sleep and never woke up.
We can’t get rid of that. We’ll have to keep it.

What are we going to do with the old holiday decorations? They’re faded, some are broken, and some
we can’t even remember what holiday they represented! There are plastic eggs that were filled with
jelly beans or pennies. There’s a box of tree ornaments and another box of lights …the kind that
bubble. There’s a bag of tinsel and another one of wrapping paper and bows. There’s a big star, a giant
leprechaun poster, two ceramic jack-o-lanterns and a huge rubber spider.

There’s a can of “snow” to spray on wreaths and some paper chains and lots of old greeting cards.
There are bits and pieces of ceramic figurines and a pretty tablecloth with gravy stains on the end
where Dad used to sit. We can’t get rid of those things. We’ll have to keep it all.

What are we going to do with the scrapbooks? They’re old and heavy and missing some pages. Some
of the pictures are so faded you can’t tell what they are anymore. There is a page of matchbook covers
and one of theater tickets. There are pictures of all of us and some we don’t even know. They are our
history and we can’t get rid of that. We’ll have to keep all of them!

What are we going to do with the records and all of the books? Some have never been played or read
while others are so worn you know the owner must have truly loved and enjoyed them. We can’t get rid
of those things. We’ll have to keep them all.

What are we going to do with the quilt and the shawl and the afghan? They are faded with use, but so
perfectly made that time has simply softened them and infused them with memories of those who used
them before us. We can’t get rid of those things. We’ll have to keep them!

What are we going to do with the empty chair at the table? It has never been vacant before, but now it
echoes our hurt and loneliness. It symbolizes our grief and reminds us of our emptiness. The last time it
was filled, it was such a happy time; and we can’t help but remember the joy that spread across that
table when all the chairs were filled. We can’t get rid of that chair. We’ll have to keep it!

We were trying to clear away a few things in order to make room for some other things, but instead of
clearing a path, we’ve added to our closets and to our memory banks. Now we have more stuff to think
about, more stuff to store, more things to sort, more stories to tell, more memories to share.
What are we going to do with everything we’ve found that we thought we had lost? We’re running out
of room, and it sometimes hurts so much to keep looking at the past. We want to clear away the past so
we can find the future. But we keep finding little things that speak of the love we shared and we can’t
get rid of that. “We’ll have to keep it” has become my new motto.

We’ll have to keep it! Yes, we’ll have to keep it, whatever it is, because it has a story to tell and a gift
to give. We’ll wrap all this stuff up in pretty paper, stick lots of bows on it and celebrate this season by
sharing reminders of the joy that once lit up our lives. An as we uncover these bits and pieces of our
family’s history, we will strengthen the family ties that bind us in love across the years.

We do not lose those we love. They die, but the love we share can never be destroyed or lost. Our loved
ones are still ad always will be a part of us. We cannot lose their love.

“WE’LL HAVE TO KEEP IT” has become our family slogan. We will have to get a bigger house and
begin to use a catalog system soon, but oh the joy we’ve rediscovered as we begin to remember the life,
not just the death.

May you find a few treasures of your own as you sift and sort through life. May you find the gifts of
joy and remembrance that come with love given and received. These are the treasures of your life. May
you rediscover them again and again!

SPRING FEVER
By: Margaret Brownley

Bereavement Magazine Mar/Apr. 2002

We all know what the winter of grief is like: the cold, dark weeks and even months that follow the loss
of a loved one. The icicles that touch the heart and soul. But did you know that grief also takes us
through spring?

Spring fever hits sooner or later, and we begin to feel restless and impatient. If we have done the work
of grief, sooner or later we will want to break out of our cocoon and move on with life. This is normal,
desirable and what nature intended. But how do we start putting together a shattered life? How do we
even know where to start?

Start small. Start by taking an inventory of neglect. What have you ignored? If you’re like most people,
health will be high on your list. During depression and grief, we can pack on twenty pounds of weight
before we even realize it. Researchers tell us that losing as little as five pounds can make all the
f\difference in the world. Lose five pounds- just five pounds- and you’ll be amazed at how your energy
level increases and your aches and pains melt away. If you’re overdue for a physical or dental checkup,
make an appointment.

Grief can be tough on finances. Sometimes we overspend in an effort to feel better. Start small. Make a
budget, and start getting your finances under control by paying off one credit card or one outstanding
bill.

Grief can be tough on relationships. We can be so involved in our pain that we neglect friends and
family. Start small. Invite one friend or family member to do something special with you.
Grief can be tough on the environment. Three years after my son’s death, I realized that we had
neglected the house. We had no heart for general maintenance or remodeling. Start small. Fix one leak
or crack. Plan to paint or wallpaper one wall or room. Plant a single tree or weed one little corner of the
yard.

Grief can be tough on appearance. We often neglect our wardrobes, even our hair. Treat yourself to a
new outfit or hairdo.

Open up the windows of your soul and let the sunshine in.

The Butterfly That Was Life

By: Larissa Mulholland

Delicate and true, I can’t understand

How you could be so desirable and becoming.

Brilliant, undefined, transient, fleeting –

Always slipping through my fingers.

I want to hold you tightly, deeply.

Give me hope and let me dream,

Comfort me when I’m listening to your wings

Whispering secrets of eternity.

I know you are blameless,

Destiny is woven in your delicate lines.

Flutter freely about me

In days unnumbered.

Come and soothe my fears,

Allow me to read your hues like

God’s handwriting –

Through the prism of my tears.