Meet my Mentor

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Meet My Mentor

PHILIP BAMIDELE

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 Meet my Mentor

MEET MY MENTOR
A guide to mentorship
Copyright © 2020

Published by
Jay_exploits Multimedia,
Off Elebu Road, Oluyole Extension, Ibadan, Nigeria
+2348160179867

All right reserved, except on quotation which must carry

the name of the author, Philip Bamidele. No part of this
publication may be reproduce, stored on retrieval system
or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic,
mechanical, photocopy, recording or otherwise without
prior permission of the publisher.

All scripture quotation unless otherwise indicated, are taken

from the King James version of the Bible.

Designed by:
Exploits Media Ventures
Praise House, Boluwaduro Street, Apata, Ibadan.

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DEDICATION
I dedicate this book to God Almighty for the privilege
given to me to write this book and to the incoming great
leaders and mentors- the youths.

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ACKNOWLEDGENT
All glory to God for the production of this book. I thank God
for the giving me the inspiration by His spirit to write this
book.

My profound gratitude also goes to my Dad and Mum for

your parental guidance, love, prayers just to mention a few.
You are the best.

To my brother, thank you for all you did for the success of
this book. To my sister, thank you for the encouragement,
time and advice.

To my mentors I owe you much appreciation, for helping me

to grow and the encouragements. You have been a great
blessing to me.

To Alex, Timileyin, Favour and Rebecca who contributed

their quarter in the development of this book. To Bro Pelumi,
thank you so much sir for the editing.

And to everyone who helped in one area or the other. God

bless you greatly.

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CONTENT

❖ Acknowledgement
❖ Content
❖ Forward
❖ Chapter 1
o BEDROCK
❖ Chapter 2
o ARE YOU A MENTOR?
❖ Chapter 3
o GOD‟S PLAN FOR MENTORSHIP
❖ Chapter 4
o STANDARD IN CHOOSING
MENTORSHIP
❖ Chapter 5
o MESSAGE TO THE MENTOR
❖ Chapter 6
o MESSAGE TO THE MENTEE

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FOREWORD
The first time Philip told me about „MEET MY
MENTOR‟ as his first book. I was surprised I wasn‟t
expecting such from him at this time. I never knew what
he wanted to write but then I was anticipating. And when
he finally sent me the manuscript to me I knew instantly
that the wisdom that worked in Elihu works in him.

And Elihu, the son of Barachel the Buzite answered and

said, I am young and ye are very old, wherefore I was
afraid, durst not shew you mine opinion. I said, Days
should speak and multitude of years should teach
wisdom. But there is a Spirit in man; and the
inspriration of the Almighty gives them understanding.
(Job 32:6-8).

This is truly an inspiration of God. This is a book that

gives a guide into what is expected from a mentor as
well as mentee in mentorship. It explains the do‟s and
don‟ts in mentorship. It reveals the salient issues many

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mentors and mentees trivialize. And much more, it

prepares a mentee to become a correct mentor.
This is a book that will really bless you. Not a book to be
read once but severally. Get ready for an impartation.

Shalom.

JOSHUA BAMIELE
Director, LIWEM FILMS

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CHAPTER ONE
THE BEDROCK
First and foremost, I want to begin by giving clarity
and distinctions to some words. I‟ve observed that there
are conflicts that do arise as regards the different terms
used in describing a superior personality whose life has
been a great blessing. The words look similar but are not
the same. The terms include:

1. Role model
2. Spiritual father /mother (parent).
3. Discipler
4. Mentor

Explanations

1. Role model:

The English Dictionary has it defined as A person who

serves as an example, whose behaviour is emulated by
others. Role models are often not close or related to
those looking up unto them. The reasons many pick them
as a role model might be their success or way of life.

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Research as shown to us that there are multiple reasons

why people have role model such as lifestyle, physic,
body language, their influence (-messages, teachings,
programs, books, works just to mention a few)
depending on what the individual (s) want to emulate in
such role model‟s life whether good or bad.

Role models are not direct mentors, discipler or spiritual

parent. People often misquote them as such. Role models
are often public figure, they are generally known by
everyone. The love their followers have for them may be
as a result of the listed points above. However, they have
little knowledge about those that were admiring them.
And they are not so concerned about knowing them
intimately. They just can’t. They can appropriately be
referred to as passive/indirect mentor or instructor.

2. Spiritual father/mother (parent)

This is usually the person that brought you to either

salvation or the knowledge of your calling and was with
you since either the beginning of your walk with Christ
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or fulfilling of your calling in Christ. They are the ones

that are the first to recognize your spiritual identity and
your flaws and strengths. These are the ones that help
you as you begin your spiritual journey. They are the
ones that make the first initial impartation of wisdom,
order, knowledge and understanding in your life. There
is usually a lifetime relationship with your spiritual
parents. Even though the connection may be a lifetime it
doesn‟t mean that you will stay in their ministry working
or to complete your growth. Most persons maintain a
certain level of accountability to their Spiritual Parent
always as they move out and grow. Like a natural parent
they maintain a watchful eye on you from a distance but
always remain available should you need that fatherly or
motherly shoulder.

3. Mentor

These are like spiritual aides to a person‟s

spiritual development. You can have various mentors
throughout your spiritual life because God sends them at
different times in your spiritual growth. These are

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persons that require commitment but not full

accountability as most leaders advise those in ministry to
obtain a mentor to help them in the areas that the leader
is limited or not spiritually able to nurture them in. A
mentor is a person that helps with the development of a
person by enhancing what is in them and helping them to
walk in the gift and calling upon a person life. They
usually work with the person‟s leader because they are
an aide to the person‟s development in their identity.
These are seasonal people and once their season is up
they move on. Mentors are teachers because they help
bring out in a person what is in them that they haven‟t
recognized yet. Mentors are like midwives because they
help birth what a person is carrying. They are also called
coach and instructor.

Differences between spiritual father and mentor

Fathers can be mentors, but mentors aren‟t necessarily

fathers. Mentors choose to mentor, but once a man
becomes a father, he is always the father. Paul writes in
1Cor4:15 for though you may have ten thousand teachers

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in Christ, you have not many fathers. The Father‟s role is

an organic role that flows from love, not instruction or
servanthood while mentorship aims at fulfilling a goal or
an assignment. Don‟t expect from mentors what only
fathers can provide.

This topic and theme of fathering and mentoring in the

body of Christ throughout the bible, you have Moses and
Joshua, Elijah and Elisha, not to mention the Apostle
Paul and Timothy.

Mentoring is for a season. Fathering is permanent.

Mentoring is usually around a goal, or a specific skill
(i.e., I mentor to lead men toward God-centric lives.)
Fathering isn‟t specific. It offers opportunity and duty. It
has no limits. It‟s about finances, health, life skills,
family responsibilities, and submission to authority.
Let‟s be more distinct:

Mentors

1. Mentorship is the developmental relationship between

a more experienced individual and a protégé.

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2. Mentors are experts on topics and accomplished in

those topics or areas of ministry.
3. Mentors don‟t need you, you need them.
4. Mentors are concerned over understanding and
structure, especially theirs.
5. Mentors fan the flame of your passions, they don‟t
create it.
6. Mentors establish relationships through information
and instruction.

Fathers:
1. Fathers develop relationship through love,
identification and affirmation.
2. Fathers are experts on cultivating honhonourd casting
vision.
3. Fathers want their sons around them.
4. Fathers affirm the development of dreams and walk
you through the dark times.
5. Fathers expose the potential in you and encourage you
to walk.
6. Fathers develop relationship through touch and
expression.

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4. Discipler:

A discipler is a person that makes disciples of men and is

always in charge of discipleship. Do you know both
discipleship and mentorship provide understanding as to
what areas the person can grow in? We need to know the
similarities and differences between discipleship and
mentorship.

Discipleship shows a person where they need to grow

spiritually and mentorship shows a variety of growth:
spiritually, emotionally, relationally, and so on.
Discipleship brings clarity to areas in your own heart and
faith where you need to grow in. You could have trouble
trusting God with your past or feel unworthy to be loved
by Him. Being a disciple will challenge you to look at
the root of the issues you are having and figure out
where the breakdown is. It will push you to grow
spiritually and grow more confident in your relationship
with Jesus.

Likewise, mentoring will help you see areas you struggle

and in the places you need to grow. Through mentoring,

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you can talk about the struggles you have and work
through them with a spiritual leader. They can also keep
you accountable by following up with you.

You may be thinking, “why does knowing the

differences between discipleship and mentorship also
matter?” It matters because we can better serve the body
of Christ when we understand the differences. When a
new Christian comes to your church you can direct them
to be mentored or discipled. They may need both. It will
help you to understand two of the main ways Christians
learn and grow.

The two terms are closely related, but not exactly the
same. Both involve instruction based on a relationship.
But discipleship involves a call, a direct invitation from
the teacher borders on a command. Jesus told the
fishermen Peter and Andrew, “Come, follow me,” and
“at once they left their nets and followed him” (Matthew
4:19-20). Then he ran into their colleagues, James and
John. Again, “Jesus called them, and immediately they

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left the boat and followed him” (4:21-22). The same

pattern was repeated with the rest of the Twelve.

The word disciple means “learner.” In Jesus‟ day,

teachers roamed the ancient world recruiting bands of
“learners” who then followed these masters and adopted
their teaching. Sometimes the disciples became masters
themselves and developed their own followings. But
Jesus‟ command to His followers to “go and make
disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19) is distinctive in
that Jesus remains „the‟ Master and „the‟ Discipler. He
wants people who are recruited to the faith to remain His
disciples and His learners.

Discipleship, as we know it today, tends to narrow its

focus to the spiritual dimension. Ideally, it should touch
on every area of life – our personal life and lifestyle, our
work, our relationships. But discipleship always looks at
these areas by asking the question, how do they relate to
Christ? How does following Christ affect my personal
life, my work, my relationships, and so on?

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Mentoring, at least when practiced by Christians,

certainly ought to centre everything on Christ. But
mentoring is less about instruction than it is about
initiation – about bringing young men into maturity.
Whereas the word for disciple means learner, the word
„protégé‟ comes from a Latin word meaning “to protect.”
The mentor aims to protect his young charge as he
crosses the frontier into manhood.

For my own part, I do not make a hard and fast

distinction between discipleship and mentoring. There is
a great deal of overlap. But I like the concept of
mentoring because it focuses on relationships.

The Purpose behind Mentorship

Mentoring is a Biblical tool used to help followers of

Jesus through challenging situations or simply life in
general. The purpose of being mentored is to have a
wiser believer be able to help guide you in your life.
They are a safe person you can confess sins to and be
honest with about your struggles. They are a person who

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can speak truth from God to you and encourage you.

Along with being a person to listen to you.

One example of mentoring in the Bible is Jesus‟ twelve

disciples. Throughout Jesus‟ ministry time, He always
took time to exemplify His parables to the twelve
disciples and showed them how they should live in a
way that honours God. Jesus trained the disciples and
spoke to them about the importance of the parables He
taught. The Bible says that many times He talked to the
disciples “in private.” Jesus would wait until they were
away from the large crowds to give them instructions.
He was mentoring the disciples and giving them
instructions, advice, and loving them.

A mentor should be someone older than the mentee who

is strong in their faith and is wise. The mentor needs to
be able to listen to the mentee and truly listen to what
they are saying. They should be a listening ear. The
mentor can help the mentee with any current relationship
struggles or sin they are dealing with. By speaking about

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their issues, it will help them walk in the light and be

honest about what they are dealing with.

Most importantly, the mentor should pray with the

mentee. God should be put first during the meeting times
and His name can be glorified through people learning
and seeking to grow and live in the fruits of the spirit.
Being mentored is a wise choice to make. It helps to be
kept accountability and gives them someone to help
them walk in the light. The mentee can grow in their
relationship with Christ as they open up to their mentor
and seek wise counsel.

One of the greatest values of mentors is the ability to see

ahead what others cannot see and to help them navigate a
course to their destination.

— John C. Maxwell

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CHAPTER 2
ARE YOU A MENTOR?
The scope of mentorship, mentor, and mentee has
a great effect in the body of Christ either positive or
negative. However, there is a need for the growing ones
to follow the directions through which God has led them
as well as the corresponding patterns the mentor had
experienced. The inception of mentorship is not far
fetched from the bible both the Old and New Testament
illustrated mentorship. It is s legacy that‟s passed onto
generations. The young a path- a correct to follow
whether physically or spiritually.

Who is a mentor?

The issue of who a mentor is brings a different meaning

or perspective to different people. The issue of
mentoring is not a do or dies matters. It depends on your
growth and who your mentor his. The word “mentor” is
defined as “a wise and trusted counsellor or teacher.

The following are some attributes of a correct mentor:

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✔ Wisdom

They are those having or prompted by wisdom or

discernment. They are marked by the exercise of good
judgment or common sense in a particular matter. They
applied every bit of their knowledge rightly. They‟re
discrete in their responses to life issues. A mentor is a
man who has gone ahead of you in knowledge,
understanding, experiences, and pursuits. Spiritually,
they‟re more enlightened of God than you. And has a
high quality of being prudent and sensible.

Discernment as used in the definition of wisdom

implies the ability to perceive. The mental ability to
understand and differentiate between relations. In other
words, discernment helps in knowing the difference
between variables. Spiritual maturity is measured by the
level of discernment. Show me a prayer giant that
doesn’t discern and I will show you an infant.

The level of our discernment determines how far

we will go in life because when it gets to the junction of
choice we won‟t be stranded. In all your getting get

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wisdom because it is a principal thing. Your wisdom in

God brings discernment. A person that lacks discernment
is exposed to danger at any point in time: therefore ask
God for discernment to lead you in all area of your life.
A mentor must be able to discern for himself and for
those under him. If you notice your level of discernment
is low you aren‟t fit to be called a mentor- sit down and
grow before mentoring anybody.

✔ Judges Practical affairs

Mentors must be in charge of judging practical affairs

that are brought to them at any point in time effectively.
There is a junction where a man can be so exhausted,
drained and weak; and will have little or no capacity to
decide for himself; thereby needing a shoulder to lean
on. The matters of life can be so demanding, frustrating
and life-threatening. The mentors are there to take
responsibilities for the well-being and progress of their
mentee. Their responses to issues will clearly show you
if they are good mentors. How does he/she respond to
matter arising? Is he compassionate? Having a good
sense of judgment is a gift on its own.

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✔ Must be Trusted

The basic truth is that no one is worthy to be trusted

except God but there is a level of trust you must have in
the person you call your mentor. A mentor should be
trusted and well-respected that you can confide in at any
given time. Trust is having confident or faith in
someone. It is the belief of being secure with a person. If
you aren‟t feeling with your so-called mentor then why
do you choose him? For you to learn and gain from him
you must have faith in him/her. And more importantly,
you should trust God to help your mentor in effective
mentoring of you so you can attain the full stature God
has for you.

✔ Guides

Mentors guide their mentee in the way they should go.

They help give effective instructions that will help the
mentee. Though some instructions might be difficult to
obey or some might not be totally true. But most of the
instructions of corrector mentor is to see that the mentee
goes forward… THAT‟S GUIDANCE. He guides until

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he begins to see results and won‟t stop even if the results

are plenteous. Mentors are not to be far away from you
(especially in your heart) because your intimacy will
determine how far and fast you will go. Let me ask the
following question

Can your mentor really influence the direction you go?

Can he lead you to your destination?
Does he have motivational force or drive to carry?

These are part of the works of a mentor; they must be

capable of guiding effectively. Guiding goes beyond
directing alone or giving instructions. True mentors
don‟t enforce a thing on the mentee (except on some
extreme situations). Mentorship is not autocratic
leadership. The ability to guide you aright makes you his
mentee. Direction in life is very essential in the way of
destiny. Imagining you get to a junction in your life
where there are two ways in front of you, and your
mentor himself is confused about the way out t. Who is
mentoring who? He must be able to guide you through
all huddles with the help of the Holy Spirit.

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✔ Mentors Counsel

There is always grace and gift attach to every

office. There are those whose office is counseling and
they have the grace and the anointing to do that. They
are part of the ordering chambers in God‟s palace.

However, anybody can just pick up counseling as

a course to study in school and thought that they are fit
to be a counselor in the kingdom perspective. It goes
beyond education and discipline it is a gift on its own
because they are assigned to order your step according to
the design of God. At the junction of concrete issues,
there is a need to seek counsel. David understood the
efficacy of spiritual counselor in 2sam15v31.

“And it was told David, „„Ahithophel is among the

conspirators with Absalom‟; and David said „ o lord,
„pray thee, turn the counsel of Ahtithophel into
foolishness‟.

King David understood that there is grace upon a man

called Ahithophel, which he cannot overlook; he had to
pray to God for help from the counsels of Ahithophel.

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Atihophel gives counsel as if God gives counsel.

2sam16v23a

“now in those day the counsel which Ahithophel gave

was as if one consulted the oracle of God;

King David understood that there is grace upon the man

that whatever he counsels is always effective. It would
have cost David his life if God didn‟t answer his prayer.

Mentors are given a special field to counsel in their

respective fields and areas of calling. Please don‟t ever
think that those seeking for counsel from mentors,
spiritual father or elders have no anointing on them to
decide in terms of making choices, rather they know
there is a special grace on their mentor to give accurate
counsels in their field. Therefore don‟t joke with such
grace. A true mentor must be a counselor in his field.

✔ Maturity.

Maturity doesn‟t really have to do with age or class. It is

abstract in nature; Experience has proven to us that it‟s
doesn‟t necessarily depend on age and status. There are

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cases where the younger ones are mature than their

actual age (-possibly based on their exposure,
experience, environment, knowledge etc) and have
something to offer than some elderly ones.

“And Elihu saw that there was no answer in the mouth

of these three men, then his wrath was kindled… I am
young and ye are very old; wherefore I was afraid and
durst not shew you mine opinion. I said, Days should
speak and multitude of years should teach wisdom (Job
32:5-7).

Wisdom is not a functionality of age but the endowment

of God. Spiritual maturity has a lot to do in mentorship.
Mentors are those with sound minds and stable in all
sphere of their life e.g. emotionally, physically,
spiritually etc. He must be above the listed questions
below.

How can he attend to technical issues?

Is he capable of turning things around?
How can he legislate things?
How can he organize things?

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Does the mind of retaining issues to him alone?

Mentorship goes beyond guiding or leading people when

problem arises. A correct mentor should be able to bear
and withstand pressures. He must be mature enough to
keep secrets and respond positively to life challenges.

✔ Commitment

The bitter truth is that it is not everybody that can mentor

effectively because of the great commitment it carries.
Jesus himself demonstrated that COMMITMENT. He
sat with his disciples on my occasions to teach them. His
commitment level towards them was high that within a
space of three and half years he raised strong armies that
later raised several others. Many spiritual giants are all
over but some do not have any person they‟ve raised
successfully. The question to you as a mentor or
intending mentor; how far can you GO to raise the
younger ones behind you to be better than you? Please
note, if you don‟t raise people or young ones after you,
you are not doing kingdom advancement. The nature of
mentorship is just to be committed to bringing the best in

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that individual that is sent to you and stay with him until
he can raise another leader after him.

✔ Gifting by God (endowment)

God has given everyone gifts to profit withal. Many on

theirs while some multiplies their gifts. Your mentor has
a gift that you desire. That gift/ talent/ skill brought you
to him, that is; you have similar trait in you that call for
expression. He must help groom those gifts in you until
it becomes great.

✔ Man of virtue

Virtue; This is the inherent power of a God or

supernatural being; A particular manifestation of moral
excellence in a person an admirable quality. An
inherently advantageous or excellent quality of
something or someone; A favourable point; an
advantage.

There are virtues embedded in the life of a mentor that

needs to flow towards a mentee. Such mentee will only
receive such a blessing from great desires and faith in

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such a mentor. How do you position yourselves to

receive the virtues from your mentor? There is always a
virtue that can heal you in all situations. It doesn‟t
necessarily require you shouting and screaming before
contacting the virtues; just position yourself and be
thirsty for it at times.

In mark 5:30

“ and Jesus, perceiving in himself that power (virtue)

has gone forth from him, immediately turned about in
the crowd and said, „ who touched my garment”.

This woman understood that there is a virtue in Jesus

that can heal and make her whole, she believes in the
divine power in him that restores. She has this strong
convention that once she‟s able to touch the garment of
Jesus her case is settled. That is exactly how it ought to
be from a mentor to a mentee. The healing happened
spontaneously in response to the prepared heart of the
woman. Are you ready to receive as a mentee from your
mentor? Or as a mentor, I hope you‟re not stingy with
your virtues. A man that is not endowed can‟t dispense

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virtue. There won‟t be sufficient for himself not to talk

of giving out. A mentor that can‟t stay in the place of
prayer is likely to drain off with time if is not properly
handle. You get renewed on a daily basis.

✔ Prayer as kingdom business.

Everything a man can achieve is done through the

communication with the father (i.e. prayer). What God
has in store for us can only be gotten through prayers.
Everything you need to become in life is deposited in
you, and with the help of the Holy Spirit, you can draw
them. Holy Spirit helps you in the journey of actualizing
the virtues. Apostle Arome once said, 'Holy Spirit is like
crude oil which is yet to be processed. The moment you
begin to burn it, he starts giving you product the more
you burn the higher your resources are'. Check any man
who is in full stature in God, such man is committed to
prayer. Prayer is a master key. It is the language of
Heaven. Even the Son of the Most High prayed like he
won‟t pray again. Any man that is ready for the master's
use must live a life of prayer because prayer is the
lifeline of every believer.

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No matter the office God calls you into, prayer is very

essential for your growth in God.

There was a time I was discussing with a lady when I

was on campus during my finals we were discussing on
prayers then she said I don‟t need prayer as such because
I‟m a choir, I have voice- which is the apex of all I need.
The statement surprised me and I was short of words for
several seconds. Then I smile because she didn‟t know
the Way of the Father. Even if you are ushering, you
need to soak yourself in prayer. It is mandatory to have a
mentor that values PRAYERS.

The Prayer life of your mentor will also help raise you in
no distant time. Both mentor and mentees need to
cultivate a habit of consistent prayer life.

The bible says in 1Thess 5:17 Pray without ceasing

prayer;

It‟s a kingdom business in which everybody needs to be

involved. It‟s an economy all believers should take as a
lifeline. There shouldn‟t be any restricted time for
prayer. Show me a person that doesn‟t pray and I will

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show you prey for the enemy. We aren‟t praying to be

prey in the hand of the enemy, prayer goes beyond what
we want from God far beyond receiving something from
him. It‟s a dialogue, not a monologue. You speak to him
and he does to you.

Prayer should not be taken with levity as a mentor or

mentee.

If your mentor is more sensual and can‟t pray, you are

most likely going to be a victim of negative decision at
some point. Not everything can be judge based on
physical or sensual judgment. The joy of it is that prayer
is influential and contagious. What I meant is that a
praying leader will raise another praying giant.
Conclusively, get a praying mentor and you will be
properly cooked with prayer.

In a minute ask God for prayer life.

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CHAPTER THREE
GOD'S PLAN FOR MENTORSHIP
The plans God has for his children are great and mighty
but it can only be done in due process. God is never in
rush to announce his genuine son or daughter. He takes
time to journey in the process so as to be refined and
upright before him. God is looking for a man to be proud
of, who he can commit himself unto, and who are ready
to do everything pertaining to him.

God sought for a man he can trust Job2:2-3

And the Lord said to Satan, whence have you come?

And Satan answered the LORD, and said “ from going
to and fro in the earth, and from walking up and down
it.”And the Lord said unto Satan, hast thou considered
my servant Job, that there was none like him in the
earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth
God, hated evil? And still hideth fast his integrity,
although then movest one agent him, to destiny him
without cause.

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This particular verse brings so many questions to my

mind. The devil‟s main assignment is to move up and
down the earth looking for whom to devour. The devil is
always ready to snatch any available space to explore
and destroy. It is easy to deceive a child if is not
grounded in the teaching of his parent.

How far can God trust you? Can you be trusted to the
extent God will call the devil to take note of you? Job
was tested and trusted. In order for God to bring men
into the journey of becoming a person of a full statue he
then introduces mentorship so as to monitor their
growth. If your growth will be systematic and
progressive, God will have you pass through mentorship.

In the book of (Act 9v 19, 27 and act 11 vs. 25, 30. Act
9v 6-1) in the agenda of God; Paul was destined to be a
great apostle of Jesus Christ. It was in the plan that God
will be using him beyond measures; hence, God arrested
him, and made him pass through the processes of
mentorship to build or develop him to its full stature.
After God struck him and blindfolded him. He led him to
Ananias (v11) for discipleship and nurturing, then

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Ananias took him to Barnabas after some time and from

there he later join the general apostles.

JESUS, THE GREAT MENTOR

I want us to look at some critical points from this above

theme:

1. The Person Of Jesus

The person of Jesus has really given us great insight into

what mentorship can yield even if it‟s for a short time.
As earlier said Jesus only related to his disciple on earth
for three and the half years and the effects of that leader
are still obvious. Jesus is a perfect example of a mentor
that understands God‟s plan for the great task of molding
his followers in that short period. I categorically stated
at the beginning of this book that mentorship is aimed at
a particular purpose.

Jesus understands the purpose of his existence and hence

mentored his disciples to carry the same burden of his…
THE BURDEN OF THE KINGDOM! According to

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Philippians 2:8-11 which spoke about his characters,

mission and name. Jesus was not just an ordinary
mentor but a mentor by example.

2. INTIMACY: „…To Be With Him”

“And he ordained twelve, that they SHOULD be with

him, and that MIGHT send them forth to preach”

After Jesus chose the twelve, the first thing He did was
to request that they SHOULD be with him-
INTIMACY… Please note that the word used in that
place was SHOULD, showing how important and
compulsory it is for them to follow. What a great mentor,
a great mentor that desires He fills his mentee first
before releasing them out. A great mentor that desires
intimacy for the sole reason of imparting his mentee. Not
just familiarity but intimacy to build them. He never
desires that they should be a laughing stock outside;
hence he calls them to SIT with him and be PROPERLY
TAUGHT. He desired that first they first learn his ways
before they will go out to deliver.

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The fact still remains that if he sent them out

immediately he ordained them; much of what they will
be preaching/giving out will be as a results of their self
ideology and philosophies which will be contrary to the
desires of GOD, hence he makes it a compulsion

DURING THE process of their being with him, he

taught them the word, prayers,. He taught the life of the
kingdom. He taught the attitude of the kingdom. He
taught them the ways of the father. He taught them
himself.

As a mentor, are you willing that your mentee BE WITH

YOU to learn of you? And as a mentee are you
REALLY WITH YOUR MENTOR?

3. COMMISIONING- ‘…That He Might Send

Them‟

After he told them first to be with him, then he said

something that he MIGHT send…. To him the sending
wasn‟t the first thing. It wasn‟t his priority… The
sending can now come when the learning has been
perfected or reached an acceptable height. The word is

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“MIGHT” meaning „a condition”, he might decide to

and he might desire not to.

As a mentor, the first to consider is the impartation. All

in your capacity must be given so they learn so well then
you can be thinking of the releasing or the sending.

Once Jesus sees that the disciples are getting him well he
sent the 12 then the 70 etc. Once Jesus saw they have
gotten him well, then it was difficult for the world to
know about the great commission. In fact at his demise,
he gave them a HELPER… what a great mentor… A
greater helper to help them fulfill purpose.

4. Every Mentor Has A Mission

According to the scripture (Mattew 1:21) Jesus came to

die and save the sinners which speaks about his mission.
But along the line of fulfilling his mission the mentored
twelve (12) disciples which the twelve mentees were not
just chosen by mistake but chosen to work and walk with
him. The twelve didn‟t only answer his call because of

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his character, background, humility, maturity but

answered his call because of his MISSION.

After the mission of Christ was fulfilled, his name was

exalted and his mentee(s) took after his mission, they
didn‟t just take it by mistake but they saw the character
and a life style of difference which qualified Christ to be
a perfect example to emulate. They took after Jesus
Christ after they saw the sacrifices he paid and the
obedience he practiced which made his name so great.

Jesus revealed to us that it‟s in the fulfillment of his very

assignment that he can mentor people. For example if
Jesus were playing football, he would have mentored
people in that area. This implies a MENTOR MUST BE
FULFILLING PURPOSE before He can say he‟s a
mentor… There are days of THEORIES, but
PRACTICALS retains knowledge than theories. Are you
fulfilling purpose you‟re your mentee can learn
practically from.

Jesus was built up in several ways which made him

spiritually, physically, emotionally and financially

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mature. And the qualities made him a mentor. As a

mentor he had a special way of handing situations and
circumstances through the help of the Holy Spirit and
that‟s what made his name so great.

A mentor should be balanced in all aspect of life and his

joy is that he sees his mentee looking more like him in
every aspect of life. WE MUST BE LIKE JESUS AS A
MENTEE.

5. ‘THE GREAT’ MENTOR

The word great is a big word; it takes a lot of

commitment, sacrifice, pain, and determination to attain
the term Greatness. He was pained at some points yet not
broken, Scripture says at a point He needed his disciple
to pray with him because he‟s feeling so emotional about
his death and crucifixcation, but that was the time the
disciples thought they should sleep. I tried to wonder if it
were these days such mentor would have sent them away
in anger, he would have referred them as SELFISH
PEOPLE, but Jesus didn‟t do that, he only said… “Can‟t
you watch with me for an hour”.

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There is a portion in the scripture which says “through

suffering we learnt obedience to God‟s will, greatness
was attained by the person of Jesus through suffering.
Great name, works was added to Christ through what he
suffered and obeyed. We must take the foot path of
Christ to be like him in greatness. Suffering is not
begging for money on the street, I‟m talking about
denying ourselves of worldly pleasures, and desires.

Jesus was a great mentor because he suffered long in the

fulfilling of his mission. His mission was great which
require great sacrifice. Jesus paid a great price to be
great; he died like a sinner to set men free, he took it
upon himself to die for his people.

Requirement found in Jesus as a great mentor

1. Selflessness
2. Purity(righteousness)
3. Obedience
4. Sacrifice
5. Love
6. Compassion

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7. Intelligence (balanced intelligence) and so many

more.

The requirement for Jesus great mission was a great

sacrifice, so to be great like him be sacrificial like him.

Reasons for Jesus mentorship

1. Maturity
2. Excellence
3. Greater works
4. Oneness with the mentors
5. Kingdom inheritance etc.

Mentorship needs authority and ability with result. Jesus

being the great mentor, his character in mentoring
through the Holy Spirit was great. What made him a
great mentor was the spirit in him. . He is capable of
leading us all through his spirit (john 14:26). Our main
goal is to be like him in every aspect.

Jesus the great mentor desires to lead us by his sprit and

we must listen to the voice of the spirit as mentee, so as
to look more like him.

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6. JESUS MENTORING IN ALL AREAS

1 pet2:2 say we must desire the sincere milk of the word.

As a young mentee of Christ we must grow into spiritual
maturity through is word and prayers (Jude 20).

Christ is interested in every area of our lives. He wants

to lead, and guide you aright. And he does this through
his word. We get accurate interpretation and instruction
from the word when we involve the Holy Spirit when
studying the word. Holy Spirit breathes upon us. The
Word gives us direction and insight. Jesus is interested in
our physical life and he wants to mentor us in that aspect
as well. He is interested in the food you take, the dress
you wear, your intelligence etc that‟s why you need him.

Re-creation as a kingdom business

The greatest commission God has given us is to proclaim

the gospel of the lord Jesus Christ i.e. the good news.
That is the primary assignment given to everyone that is
called a believer i.e. through re-creation.

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In the plan of God it is necessary for us to know that

fruitfulness is one of the major reasons and priority of
God. When he was making man, it was in God view an
agenda plan for man to be fruitful and to multiply and to
subdue the earth. It wasn‟t enough for God that only
Adam and Eve should only partake in this blessing as a
father but rather to let the whole world enjoy it.

In the book of Gen1vs 22,

“And God bless them saying,‟ BE FRUITFUL AND

MULTIPLY AND FILLED THE EARTH……….”

The efficacy of fruitfulness was emphasized by God

himself commanding every living thing he had created to
be fruitful.

Fruitfulness simply means in a productive way. Being

productive and yielding result. As God created, we are
expected to be fruitful and bear fruit in the house hold of
God. That you are a believer doesn‟t mean you should be
satisfied but unless you bring up another person into the
household of Christ, then you mustn‟t be satisfied.

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Matthew 7v19 emphasizes that any tree that doesn‟t

bring forth good fruit will be cut down cast into the
lake of fire.

As a believer, we are expected to expand the kingdom

of God by proclaiming Christ to everywhere you go.

It is commanded by Jesus Christ after his resurrection

that every believer that are disciple of God should go out
and preach the gospel to every soul they came across. A
vital way to expand the kingdom business on earth is by
bring people to the knowledge of whom Christ is.
Raising up people from the bondage of sin into the
marvelous light of our lord Jesus Christ.

The word of God says there is a joy in heaven over one

sinner that repents. It‟s causes a trumpet of joy to sound
in heaven when a single sinner repented, now talk less of
countless people witnessing Jesus to a man brings about
a total turnaround in the daily activities of such
individual and unto we rise up to our duty of fruitfulness,
witnessing and mentorship, the sin of immorality will
continue to eat deep into every individual.

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Until the kingdom of God is made manifest and we take

up the mantle which the lord has commanded and given
onto us then the kingdom business will only be limited to
us alone and not all around the world as it suppose to be.

Ways of the fathers

The legacy of fatherhood on mentorship has been passed

from generation to generation. In other to work in the
ancient path there is a need to follow the foot step. A
child can‟t know all he ought to know if he doesn‟t
follow the footstep of the masters. It‟s the safest way to
reach to our destination.

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CHAPTER FOUR
STANDARD IN CHOOSING A MENTOR
There are standard for choosing a mentor because whom
you follow has a lot to determine who you will later be.
There are some points I consider necessary.

1. WHO ARE YOU? -Your identity and purpose

There are some self evaluations we have to do as an

individual if we truly we want to progress and have the
right mentor:

Who are you? Who the God call you to be? Which clan
did you belong to? What is you purpose? Etc.

Your purpose should be next think to seek after knowing

God. Purpose answers the question WHO ARE YOU?
WHY ARE YOU LIVING? WHAT ARE YOU HERE
ON EARTH TO DO? You can‟t have a proper growth
and fulfillment without discovering yourself.
Discovering your purpose and identity will lead you to
so many things like your offices, areas of

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gifting/specialization etc. Failure to know your areas of

purpose can be disadvantageous to you.

As powerful as Gideon was he didn‟t recognize who he

was until the angel of the lord appeared to him. Many
issues will remain constant or unchangeable if you fail to
discover yourself. A prince will ever be treated as slave
if he fails to identify who he is.

“The angel of the lord appears to him and said; the

lord is with you, you mighty man of valor”

Before the angel came, Gideon must have been a strong

man yet he doesn‟t know his capacity, there must have
been realm he would have dabbled into it without even
noticing it.

Your identification begins when there is an appearance

from the Spirit. Remember when Jacob was praying to
God concerning his life the angle of God appear to him,
he fought with God and he prevailed and the Lord
change his name from Jacob to Israel. There will always
be an appearance before you can identify who you are.
People like Moses, Paul, Elijah, Elisha, Samson, John

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the Baptist etc got their identity- not from their head but
from their maker- that‟s the appearance.

To make it clear, the appearance I‟m saying is not the

appearance of an angel of God directly. God works in
differs ways so there is no need to be rigid on a
particular way. You might find your own identification
through the word of God, dreams, prophesy, audible
voice, inner voice, passion etc. Don‟t just assume be
truly convinced that is what God is saying concerning
you.

2. Your inner Strength.

The lord is with you, you mighty man of valor.

Gideon never knew what he can do talk less of what he

can offer a whole country Israel. A state of mediocrity
has been a room where average believers are because
they don‟t know who they are. God knew he has the
capacity to deliver the Israelites from the hand of the
Middanites. The fate of a whole country is hanging on
his neck and many lives depends on a single life yet
Gideon failed to recognize that until God revealed

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himself to him. Gideon only saw himself as common

man. Knowing your identity in God will trigger many
treasures in you. You are more than what you think you
are. You are more than a nation; you are your own kind
so get to know yourself through the help of the Holy
Spirit.

3. Your relationship

Your relationship with God is so cogent in knowing

where you truly belong. This will help you to know
what God is saying about you as well as whom you‟re to
follow. Once your relationship with God is impeded,
getting perfect choice might be difficult.

4. In due time

There is a due time to enter into mentorship. Many might

be rushing into mentoring because their friends are into
it, or bearing the mentee of a particular known face. But
wait! There is a set time to bear the burden of
mentorship. I remember when I was on campus I got
tired of being alone, we were on strike that particular
time, since I was the alone in my hostel, I prayed to God

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that he should give me a prayer partner so I waited for

the perfect time and on the third day the person came to
my hostel and explained how he will be needing me in
some spiritual exercise, and that was how we became
prayer partner till we resume school that particular
semester. What was I saying I prayed for it and God
gave the leading in due time.

5. God’s leading

God should lead you to people who will truly groom and
mould you well in that area of your calling. You might
not know your mentor until you ask for it in prayers. For
every believer there is always a mentor for you
irrespective of your calling. The shoe you are entering
has already been worn by somebody else before. No
matter the grace and anointing bestowed on you there is
always someone out there who will still guide you
properly so you won‟t just waste. Having a mindset that
no one can mentor you due to your current position in
spirit is like digging your grave yourself. Be accountable

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to someone! The way God deals with one of us differs

and the way he leads us also differs; ask God for his
leading and he will lead you in the way you can
understand.

For as a many that are led by the spirit of God are

called the son of God (rom8:15). If God has not led you
to a mentor, please don‟t go.

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CHAPTER FIVE
MESSAGE TO THE MENTOR
This is chapter is solely dedicated to the mentors and to
intending mentors:

1. Responsibility as a giver

Givers never lack beggars always ask. A cheerful giver

never lack, it is almost impossible for that individual to
lack because god will definitely make way of him.

Give it shall be given with you will good measure

shaken together..

God is always interested in the people that do give. It is

essential for every believer to all give it is a way unto
surplus or abundance. Our God is not a stingy God he
provide everything so will can enjoy and benefit from it
and besides that who so ever that water another person
farm land shall God water his own farm as well.

What am I saying in essence?

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As a mentor there should be sense of responsibility in

giving out. Not necessarily your money but your time,
strength, experience etc. God still rewards. God won‟t
see you laboring on people, building them and not
graciously bless you. We must all believe that the
anointing or grace on our live is not put there only for
our benefit it is major giving for the identification of the
saint. Learn to drill them with your strength, capacity
etc. (James 1v17)

Do you know the progress and heights of your mentee is

dependent on you? You are like a potter that mud.
Whatever will do to them determine what will become of
them hence God expects much more from the mentee in
raising their mentee.

One of the highest ranking work is teaching (i.e.

building); the ability to drill and build up the younger
ones so as to be of full stature. Initially a baby can‟t be
given hard food when given birth to but started on breast
feeding before hard substances can be given to him.
WHAT DO YOU GIVE YOUR MENTEE? DO YOU
KNOW THE LEVEL THEY ARE AS TO KNOW THE

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KIND OF MEAL (KNOWLEDGE )YOU”RE TO GIVE

THEM. Jesus Christ took time in developing his disciple
despite the fact that the disciple committed several error
however HE CONTINUE TO GIVE- FEED THEM, he
would encouraged and continue his work on them. God
rewards all your labour, as a matter of fact your mentee
might not be appreciating what you do or complain the
drilling is quite much; just continue to sow; one day you
will definitely reap; he will see what you do. The work
that is committed into our hand must be done with all
faithfulness. GIVE YOUR TIME UNTO BUILDING
YOUR TIME!

2. Determinant of growth

The growth of a plant majorly depends on the kind of

soil, moisture, air etc. However the work of the farmer
can not underrated. Why? The farmers understands and
these conditions for the proper growth of the plant and
subject the plants into this conditions for them to grow,
besides farmers still does weed some other world like

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weeding, fungation if need bejust to mention a few.The

mastermind beside a fruitful plant is the FARMER.
Leaving a plant once you have planted is not the habit of
a true farmer. It is necessary to watch and get rid of any
available things called around the plant. As a growing
believer we tend to lose focus and have the desire to join
the surrounding; those things that are easily attached to
us can be called weed.

What do will know as weed today?

Weeds are unwanted plant that grows in our surrounding

(lane man definition). Weeds are majorly there to share
the nutrient that should have been enjoyed by the actual
plant. Weed often grows faster than the main plant. The
world system has painted an unfavourable condition or
atmosphere of believer to survive. The atmosphere filled
with evil, immoralities, wickedness- SINS etc. We are in
a generation where the darkness keep doing all things to
see that the light of believers turn to darkness.

In other to be watched and properly guided God brought

mentoring for the growing ones it is a curriculum we

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must all pass through. Apostle Paul said; follow me as I

follow Christ; he understood what mentorship is. You
can‟t just arrive one day and say you have arrived; NO
SIR! the spiritual realm is too organized for luck to take
place.

Mentor is in charge of weeding i.e. a strong corrector

because if you don‟t do the weeding properly such a
plant can die and withered. It‟s expedient for the mentee
to summit to those capable of weeding him/her. Are you
submissive? Mentors determine how far you can go in
life. In other not crash along the way, seek a mentor who
is ahead of you in experiences.

3. A person of Experiences

They say experience is the best teacher but I don‟t really

agree to that. There are some experiences that don‟t
teach but kills. The experience that kills has no value in
teaching. Some people have gone astray trying to
experiment thing with their own lives leading them to
terrible experiences that takes them off their balance.

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However, some becomes better with their experiences as

some lessons are not teachable but can only be acquired
through personal experience.

For those who were able to scaled through terrible

occurrences and becomes victorious often teaches well
from their depths of experiences; however some mentees
ignore such counsels until they also fall into such
experience.

Experience is a big world, as we know that there are

some experiences that are good and some bah, there
some of our experiences that we don‟t want to remember
while some we want to keep remembering. As mentor,
teach your mentee to replicate the good experiences you
have and to guide against the terrible ones you had.
Teach them the ways that leads to those very great
experiences and ask them to also follow that part. Please
do not teach them the short-cuts, the details of such path
will be appreciated by the mentee that is wise. And
Unwise mentee can be looking for short-cuts please
don‟t do such it will only make them short lived. Teach
them the how? The when? The where? What it takes?

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Who are involved? My dad recently said that „ a teacher

that hides things from his student is a bad teacher.”

Lastly on experience push your mentee until they

replicate the good experiences. Some knowledge cannot
register until its experience. In the curriculum of
mentorship let there be time of PRACTIALS… Apostle
Arome would say… :” I will teach for this minutes then
we go into practical”. Don‟t dwell on theories alone…
The Practical- the experience is also needed. Thank you

4. Discipline as a core course.

While I was he president of my fellowship, there are

several things I experienced and one of such is the
aspect of discipline. Some people don‟t care the level
of your anointing, all they are interested in is pulling
you down. Some who were so-to-say an enemy to
you will suddenly becomes your friends because of
the post just to trap you. Some will be so careless
around you so you can notice them. Some ladies will
even what to put themselves on you so they can be
referred to as the „fiancee of the president”. A „lazy

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girl‟ wrote on social media how she love to be

LAWRENNCE OYOR‟s WIFE; they would say „its
honour‟. As a mentor it is important that as you
mount the ladder of leadership, many want to
affiliated with you whether with good intentions or
not.

Discipline is a severe training, corrective of

faults, instruction by means misfortune, suffering,
punishment etc (heb12v7-10). Discipline takes a
vital role to play in mentorship. A relationship that
lack discipline will never last long. Discipline is the
ability to maintain one‟s body and ability to swift at
when due.

I will be focusing on the term discipline in two

dimensions

1. Discipline for the mentee in mentoring

2. Self discipline in training others.

1. Discipline for mentee in mentoring.

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If you don‟t discipline your mentee when they fall short

of your expectation, that means you don‟t love them.
God chasten those he loves. What I can recommend for
mentor to their mentee is to be strict atleast for the first 3
month to really know those who meant business and are
ready to stay with you. There are many mentee that stays
under a mentor for their selfish reason or benefit. You
will be able to choose and discover those things at an
early stage and if they met what they didn‟t expect that
will give you a clearer picture of who they really are. He
who fails to discipline his mentee won‟t help the mentee
to really know about life and its going to limits what the
mentee will gain because he will always take the mentor
for granted. There are times you shouldn‟t overlook a
small thing because laxity may spring from there. There
are some mentee that doesn‟t want to learn from you in
the true sense, they just want to use you to achieve their
goals. While some menetee don‟t desire anything
tangible from you all they want is pleasure and
giveaway. They are not ready to go through the process
that leads you to where you‟re but love the result they
see in you.

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There are two things I can recommend for you.

It is not compulsory to have numerous mentees in fact I

will recommend you not to have much so as to keep a
close watch over them.

a. If you can‟t help them by training or discipline them,

please let them go. If you notice he/she is not ready to
learn leave them and let them go. You have nothing to
lose. Jesus Christ knew that Judas Iscariot was a
betrayer and not ready to change or learn. The bible
recorded it that he likes stealing from the church pulse
from inception. Jesus didn‟t wait his time on him. Aside
the twelve disciple he has three (Peter , James and John)
that he moves with, however after the three he has
another person among the three refreed to as „THE
BELOVED‟. Note not all that comes under you are
willing to learn.
● Mentee as a devil

My prayer is that God will help us to be sensitive at all

time. It is a deadly disease for a believer not to have
spiritual discernment. There are some things I

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understood in the ministry of Jesus in mentoring the 12

disciples. Jesus Christ at an early stage got that Judas
Iscariots as a thief and is not ready to learn. Jesus Christ
in divers‟ ways revealed the betrayer; he told them about
the signs and lot more, yet Judas still betrayed him. It
will be very disastrous to Jesus ministry if he didn‟t
identify him on time but praise God; Jesus got him at an
early stage that is the reason Jesus has been careful with
him- not involving in in some delicate matters such as
the three disciples that followed Jesus to the mount of
transfiguration.

There are some ministries that have collapse due to their

followers. May I just say this people are not to be
extremely trusted no matter how close you are to them.
They go behind you and stab you. People will definitely
believe them because they know you are very close with
them and these can lead to severe scar that can finally
cause the death of the mentor.

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● Golden advice

Apostle Johnson Suleiman talked on this wise and said:

“Once you discover something like that the best option
for you is to root them out i.e. uproot totally don‟t give
them a second chance.”

Devils don‟t change, they may feel bad; they can be

remorseful; they may cry and promise to change but give
them time the devil in them will definitely spring up and
when its in full stature they will root out the individual
immediately.

Don‟t nurture what you can‟t manage, managing them

can only prolong the days of your adversary.

If Elisha doesn‟t command the leprosy of Amman on

Gehazi there is more tendencies that Gehazi
covetousness will ruin the great ministry of Elisha. Why
is that? The scripture shown to us proved that Elisha was
a powerful man and well respected man in the land of
Israel starting from the day he received the double
portion of his master (Elijah) mantle.(2 king2 vs. 13-15),
even his peer group had to bow for him, the king was

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even afraid of him, his name was without stain. Let‟s just
imagine Elijah failed to recognize his deed and Gahazi
keeps collecting all what Elisha rejected will definitely
tarnish the image of Elisha because people won‟t believe
Elisha was innocent because Gahazi was his mentee.

Elisha must have been observing his altitude ever before

the story of the leprosy, because to me, that day he
collected the goods Elijah rejected won‟t be the first time
of doing such evil. Elijah cut their relationship early
enough before he would do anything worse. It is very
dangerous to nurse a devil, it can be liking to rearing a
wolves among sheep‟s, ONE DAY, the wolves in him
will RISE UP.

b. But if you discover that he/she is ready to learn

no matter the situation then you can invest on
them. Those people can‟t forget you no matter
how little it might be. They are really meant for
you. Take your time and cook them properly.
God will reward it for you.
2. Self discipline in training other

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As time goes mentors tend to be more familiar with

their mentee(s). Familiarit can break boundaries. It won‟t
be of good benefit if a mentor is too loose to his/her
mentee. You just don‟t talk anyhow or laugh anyhow to
them. I‟m not saying there shouldn‟t be play times but it
should be limited. Its kill fast quickly. Don‟t allow pet
name at all especially when dealing with opposite sex…
Lets take a look at this:

✔ Mentor someone of the opposite gender

It is more common for males to have female(s) as

mentee(s) than the male mentee submitting to a female
mentor. However, it‟s much better if the mentor-mentee
are of the same gender. Law of attraction states that: “
like poles repel while unlike charges attract.” Ladies are
often attracted to men and verse versa. It is not a crime
to have opposite gender as your mentee but it requires
much discipline. I have seen cases where a female comes
to a male as mentee and later got up being emotionally
attach to the male which eventually led to immoralities
and all. Let me sate here, especially for the male mentor-
female mentee; there is much possibility to have

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emotional attraction between them when they suddenly

becomes too intimate and familiar, blood still runs in our
veins! To avoid unnecessary attraction or feelings there
are some precaution you have to take.

1. The uses of pet name

Pet names are names that are used instead of

someone‟s usual first name to express fondness or
familiarity; they‟re names to show love or affection.
Most people use pet names in their mentorship. Pet
name kills the gap between two individuals. Human
beings have emotions, no matter how spiritual you
think you are, you still live in this body. Being
emotional is part of the gifts of God unto us. Show
me a man that is not emotional and I will show you a
great deceiver though the level by which emotions
drives us divers a lot. The way we control ourselves
really matters a lot. The moment you as a mentor
introduce pet name with your mentee and vice versa;
it opens another phase of your relationship.

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I got this other definition: A name used between

people who are romantically involved, usually playful
and related to some personal experience or quality. A
really soppy way of addressing someone you are
romantically attached to.

It is very wrong for a mentee to be calling his/her mentor

pet names and vice versa. It will get to a time that they
won‟t be controlled again, too much of it will definitely
stir up feelings and attraction between them and can
bring them into confusion.

Note this it is not a day‟s work, it starts from a little

flame before it‟s becomes full-fledged fire.. I‟m not
saying you shouldn‟t be playful at times but don‟t allows
that to destroy everything you‟ve been gathering for
year.

2. Unnecessary caring.

To stir up feeling from opposite‟s gender is not a big

problem, the level of your caring can grow the seed
of love. The foundation of every relationship starts
on the basis of care. Caring is an essential ingredient

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in building a healthy relationship. We must all care

for ourselves that‟s the normal thing, but when
you‟re going on the extra mile, you‟re giving room to
another thing. I‟m not saying God can‟t lead you to
your mentee or your mentor for marriage, but let God
lead you in there not you creating a pathway for God.
God doesn‟t need your pathway before he can give
you your spouse.

✔ Bridging in conversation
Learn to watch your conversation; nothing kills
like a running mouth. In the expense of making
everything lively; you can begin to say
something that are not necessary, and you might
not be able to reverse the spoken word later.
Things to take note
1. Don‟t go out the box,
2. Don‟t create a conversation you cannot handle
(hear fast with slow response). It‟s dangerous not
to be word-conscious.

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3. Don‟t be carried away by words. Words can

bond and can free you depending on how you use
it.
5. Be careful of the links you give out.

It‟s our ultimate prayer that God would help the body of
Christ in our generation. The generation where self rules,
where self has been granted free course. Here‟s a
generation people stab each other‟s back ha now grown
to be a norm. In the days od the Apostles they did,
shown and thought us what love really is and the power
of unity. They all contributed their quarter to the
development of God‟s kingdom. They were easily
multiply because of their life style in unity and there
character in short they are all connected.

It is not a crime for mentor to give links of high people

and places to their mentee to rise. In fact it‟s the joy of
God, nobody prays his children won‟t be greater than
him/her. If any parent is like that the end of such will be
disastrous.. Giving connection and links to undone
children is dangerous. It is be dangerous to give a
mentee that frustrates you and still stab you behind links

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of people that respect and help you. The undone children

will definitely be identified through their character and
altitude, no matter how they pretend. Close observation
and monitoring with the help of the Holy Spirit will
surely reveal their true nature to you.

However, once you discover your mentee is faithful and

trustworthy, you can as well link them up with greater
people. If as a mentor you fail not to give room for
younger ones under you to grow, you‟re not helping
yourself at all. One day, you might be able to work o;
your altitude at such times will determine who will be
with you. You can‟t do all things by yourself at a time,
please give room as well. Its only a bastard that stabs
you behind you when giving a chance.

In conclusion, you can always test them with little

assignment to test their loyalty, faithfulness and trust
before committing a greater one; don‟t risk what is not
meant to be risked, calculated risk is much more
advisable.

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CHAPTER SIX
MESSAGE TO THE MENTEES
Many a times some people thinks there is a particular
age to have a mentor; once they pass that age they
assume they‟re fit to be the master of themselves. Can I
quickly state that there is still no age above mentorship?
Whether you‟re are young or old there are people ahead
of you in one field or the other. To succeed in that areas
of influence its necessary to have a mentor lead you
through that road.

NOVEL AREAS OF INFLUENCE

As the world is growing and progressing, new things are

being explore and gotten, there are some areas that no
one has ever gone through before. For instance, when
Evang Mike Bamiloye started the Gospel drama Miistry
in Nigeria, no one has ever heard or knew DRAMA is a
MINIISTRY on its own. They only knew drama as an
entertainment groups not as a ministry. But He knew
what he received as his passion and vision, even if others
didn‟t know or look down on it. Despites the fact that he

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has no one to look upto in the ministry as

someone that has gone before him in the drama ministry,
he never seize to have mentors that have related ministry
that he can channel towards the progress of his ministry.

Where I‟m going is that even if your area of influence is

an abstract field, you should have mentors in related
areas that can still guide you as you progress in the
ministry.

Not too late

It‟s not too late for you to have a mentor if you haven‟t
had one. To the younger generations, its better you get
things right at the earlier stage than regretting a wasted
years of doing what should have been avoided. Mentors
are like wings that can carry mentee to their detination in
no distance time. Though some people have basterdize
mentorship through several untamed human behaviors
but mentorship still remains a pathway to success. You
can‟t outgrown mentorship no matter who you are.

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SERVICE AND SUBMISSION

Someone once said that „If you are too big to serve you
will be too small to lead.‟ God is interested in looking
for a man that will be willing to serve, the same will be a
good leader, Jesus as a case study.. Serving is the heart
of surrendering your will to one superior. Before Joshua
got to the position he served Moses, likewise Elisha to
Elijah, Timothy and Paul and even Jesus.

Do you know service is not slavery? It enhance the very

important virtue called Brokenness… Ask those that
genuinely served, they‟re broken and humble. They can
inflict their followers with terrible burdens once they
becomes leader. They are the kind of people that values
the growth of their followers. See a man that failed in
SERVICE, SUCH WILL DEFINITELY FAIL IN
LEADERSHIP. ARE YOU SERVING THE WAY YOU
SHOULD SERVE YOUR MENTOR OR PLAYING
EYE_SERVICE?

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Young ministers are always interested in standing on

their own flaunting their „arrival‟. Serve when you
should serve. Give in to service. That can accelerate your
growth. If you fail to serve and submit to your mentor
how can you serve and submit to the Holy Spirit?
Sometimes it amazes me when I see how people prove
their obedient to the spirit of God and had no regard for
mentor. The bible says the flesh is against the spirit and
the spirit against the flesh. You can never say you please
the Lord when you disregards those he sent ahead of
you. If you don‟t get someone to tame you on some
issues even if it looks acceptable, you might not last.
Scriptures says in Rom 12: 2…

“…So that we may prove that which is good, acceptable

and perfect will of God”

Not all the good are acceptable and not all the so-called
acceptable are perfect will of God. Scriptures put the
three- good , acceptable and perfect will in the right
order. If something appeals so good to you, to God it
might not be acceptable nor be perfect will for you at
this time. Your mentors help you in periods you might

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not be able to differentiate what‟s needed to be done and

what‟s perfect to be done.

Apostle Arome Osayi once said that he was invited to

17 places at a time within and outside the country but
God said he shouldn‟t go to any of it; do you know the
same thing happened to his son Apostle Mike Orokpo
and on the basis of the leading his head received, he
followed keenly and asked God when he also received
17 invitations to minister at the inception of his world-
wide ministry. God also gave him a NO response. To
balance things, I‟m not saying when you have 17
invitations God will say NO to them but what I‟m saying
is that one the basis of the path your mentors take, you
wont be stranded at critical junctions.

My reflection

In most cases God doesn‟t bring a mentor that is not in

your field or the area of your calling. But if it is different
glory be unto God, God has a reason over everything
man does. The main thing or goal is to be like your

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mentor and even greater than him/her as he/she imitates

Christ. Before those things will reflect in you there are
some things that must be consider:

1. Focus that bring mantle

The life of Prophet Elisha is really challenging and it

worth emulating if you truly want a tangible thing from
your mentor. Can you go back and study the life of this
man called ELISHA. Just imagine how desperate this
man was because he was eager to receive something
from his master (Elijah). This passage clearly showed us
that if you aren‟t desperate in focusing you can‟t receive
a meaningful thing. (2king2vs.1-12).

They journey ON FOOT through four different cities;

from Gilgal to Bethel to Jericho to Jordan before he
departed at the sea. Elisha was never distracted; he was
never distracted by the sons of prophets that were
approaching him at different junctions. Do you know
distraction is a major killer of mantle? He who is not
focus can‟t receive anything.

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Many mentees are always in love with the result their

mentors have and not focus on the process that got them
the results. They go about boosting and laughing away
precious time that they ought to be used for serious
business. Even the words of the sons of prophet are
enough to discourage the zeal Elisha had but he kept
moving.

I discover that even the words of Elijah were not

encouraging at all but Elisha never mind that but focus
on what he wanted to get. There are times a mentors
might be deliberately hard on you, don‟t be discourage,
FOCUS!.

Elijah was deliberating saying some words to check his

stand and real desires

… I pray thee, …

Elijah told him to go backward on four occasions yet he

wasn‟t ready to give up. He was so focused. Moreover,
Elijah on the other hand never decides to give his mantle
to someone who will not know the value of what has
been given to him.

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While I was on campus during my undergraduate days

400l I was to write a project, we were distributed to
various lecturers for supervision. We initially discussed
the type of lecturer we want due to some reasons best
known to us. I was eager to meet a cool, calm and easy
going project supervisor who will not give me much
problem for my work. While the discussion was on, a
friend heard me and smiled and he said “if you were
given your choice supervisor - a lecturer at your comfort
zone then you won‟t know nor value what research
really is.”

What you get at ease- on your fingers tip- might not

mean so much to you. You might not even place any
importance on what you got so cheaply. What I‟m saying
in essence is that if Elijah has given the mantle freely
even before Elisha asked there is probability that he
might not value it as well as probably misused it.

2. Determination

Elisha does not only focus but also determines as well.

Determination is the firmness of purpose, the action of

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establishing or deciding something. Focus coupled with

determination goes a long way. It takes determination
with action. Many at times we tend to lose our firmness
when dealing with our mentors. Mentors don‟t need you,
you need them. Your determination will definitely
trigger your action in pursuing your set goal in
mentorship. There is always a goal from a mentee in
mentorship to bee better. Are you fueling that goal with
determination?

3. Familiarity can be a stumbling block.

As we tend to move closer to our mentors, we tend to

become so familiar with him or her. But when you are
more familiar, contempt can set it, for instance, a mentor
you often esteemed so high can be regarded as a
subordinate through familiarity. Familiarity can hinder
the pace of learning and reduce the imparts of a mentor
on a mentee. Although its important a mentor becomes
intimate with his or her mentee, but Familarity isn‟t
intimacy. You don‟t get familiar with God rather you get
intimate with him. Gahazi suddenly became a leper due
to greed that sprang from familiarity (2kings5v20-23), he

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became so relax and unfearful to use his mentor‟s name

to collect the goods ELISHA had rejected. I presume he
felt there is absolutely nothing his mentor can do to him.
He could have also thought that the least Elisha would
have done to him was to scold him; he won‟t have ever
thought his master can send the leprosy on him. Another
example is Queen Michal. (1sam6 vs5)- the only lady
that never gave birth until her death. Do you know God
is not wicked, and his hand is not short to deliverer but
our sins. This woman- MICHAL despised David while
DAVID was dancing and praising the Lord Almighty.
Don‟t be too familiar to despise your mentors as he/she
takes you on the journey of mentorship.

4. Honor

Honor reveals character. To honor someone means to

show approval, gratefulness, and respect. To dishonor
someone means to disdain, put down, belittle, and insult.
Those that honor their fathers lengthen their lives and
those that dishonor their fathers shorten their lives. This
truth is found in the Fifth Commandment. “Honor thy

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father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon
the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee” (Exodus
20:12).

Honor is a major key for inheritance. A man that honors

people of higher all realms will surely inherit the person
grace and virtues because honour opens a man up. Honor
comes in various aspects; it is not only in respect of
giving. When you want to tap grace from a man, you can
honour the man by sowing unto such a man.

Scriptures says in Heb :7- the less is blessed of the

greater

The greater people pull people that are just coming us.
Some mentee are so stingy they can‟t even honour their
boss with their substance. Those kind of people can‟t go
far, it‟s not a curse it just a verdict. How can someone be
your oversea and you won‟t honour through your gifts,
time, commitment, service etc. If you‟re not honouring
your mentor you are blocking the flow of grace into your
life no matter what you do. Don‟t pay your mentee a
visit empty handed it‟s very wrong. you don‟t grow in

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grace like that, that God bless you or what ever he/she
says goes a long way.

Don’t join others by saying negatives concerning your

mentor- that is also honour. A bastard will always show
the weakness of his father. Put it I prayer if you notice
any flaws.

5. Ask question

A Yoruba adage says “ oni ibare ko kin si ona‟ meaning

“anyone that ask for the road are not always missing” .
Mentee are just like apprentice to their boss. If anything
is not clear let it be known to them. Nobody is a
highland of knowledge. Asking Questions help your
understanding.. The desire to know will make you ask
whatever you don‟t understand as regards to what you
are been taught. The more you ask the more you know.
The act of knowing is the root of asking. Note: it is not
everything a mentor can tell you at a goal, just relax, be
focused

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6. Grow.

The ways of the lord are not imparted they are taught.
The ways of the lord is done through obedience. No
matter how you are surrounded with great ministers, if
you don‟t work in the ancient path you can‟t walk in
their dimension. You can only walk in it through
personal experience. The spiritual realm is a large entity
that cannot be totally understood by mankind unless God
reveals to you. The more you grow the more you know.
Pray and get it..

7. Be careful the way you share your personal

details

Not all things about you must be discussed with your

mentor, there are so many things that should not be
exposed out. Some people can discuss all their problems,
and life to just anyone. Some can‟t bridle their mouths-
anything that comes to their thought will be spelt out,
that‟s not good enough, especially emotional things
must be checked when discussing with your mentor if
your mentor happens to be of the opposite sex.

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8. Are they successful?

Before summiting to anybody make sure their life is a

success or success in the making. It‟s a natural principle
that what flows from the head flows downward; if your
mentor is successful you can also be, and vice versa..
I‟m not only talking about riches but the work of their
hand. Did he has testimonies of being successful or on
the way to success? For instance a mentor can be guiding
you on sexual purity and he/she still fornicate or commit
adultery- such teaching might not be effective. In short
make a close investigation before reaching the
conclusion of submitting to anyone. His reputation must
not be questionable.

9. Humility a key of discipleship

God resist the proud and gives grace to the humble. If at

long run you discover your mentor is proud there are two
things I can recommend for you

1. Prayer for him

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There is nothing that is impossible for God to do, he own

the king‟s heart likewise his chiefs and direct them to
wherever he pleases. Your prayer for him/hergoes a long
way. God might purposely send you to him so as to
intercede on his/her behalf. The thought of God is far
greater than the thought of man. God will definitely
answer your request and break him down some day. The
prayer of the righteous availed much. There is more to
do than gossiping about it. Stand in the place of prayer
God will change him. Don‟t try to correct him, he‟s your
head. Even if you will, ask God for the wisdom to go
about it in humility.

2. Talk to people ahead of him

Speak with people that your mentor is also submitting to.

They should be able to call him/her into order. Before
reporting him to people ahead of him ensure your claims
are so true not an assumption. And If you discover he is
not changing and adamant, despite some warnings and
counsels from the people ahead of him, then you can
step aside.

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God resist the proud; and give grace to the humble

I will love to ask you a question; will you continue to

stay under a man God resisted, will you still follow a
man under a curse. In the Old Testament whenever the
Kings sin against the Lord, God will leave them for
reproach and make them suffer for what they have done
then once the head is faulty the body is in trouble. I‟ve
heard of a case where the Lord blocks the heavens on a
congregation because of what the leader has done
thereby bringing hindrance to the members prayers and
requests. However, before stepping aside, let God lead
you Rom 8vs26 before you leave.

For as many that are lead by the spirit of God are call
the sons of God

10. Don’t just break off from your mentor

It means a forceful remover from a particular source. My

advice to anybody reading this book is that don‟t
suddenly remove yourself from anyone greater than you
be it mentor, pastor, church officer or any kind- it‟s very

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dangerous. It better they release you willing than you

breaking out forcefully from them.

Many feels they have arrived once they just exhibited

little results. If you want to leave let it be honorable.

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This book is NOT FOR SALE, however you might love

to support the good work. Here is my account details.

BANK: GT BANK
ACCOUNT NAME: BAMIDELE PHILIP TIMILEHIN
ACCOUNT NUMBER: 0223360254

God bless you greatly.

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