barb of course! But then the Wars of the Turnips happened.

The
Turnips United attacked, saying they were "the better
vegetable". Almost-Chief Rhubarb Haleus Vernicus attacked
with only like 100 soldiers against 600 billion turnips. Guess
who won. I'll give you time on that. 3...2...1. My lil' bro Tom!
Nah just kidding, the SKR won. Fast forward to the year 3018.
The SKR was just recently defeated in the Battle of Potato.
Potato forces fought hard (wait actually soft) and launched a
SURPRISE POTATO ATTACK! -~*5-20-13*~- UPDATE:
There's gonna be a new writer and editor of the Longest Text
Ever! Introducing...... Jaime Rodriguez! As of the moment I'm
waiting for him to write anything. He said hes gonna write about
Munchkins. LOL. Let's continue about the Battle of Potato. SKR
was defeated. But it was not dead. The remaining members
formed the Coalition of Armed Forces and People for Very
Long Abbreviations and Acronyms That Are Very Very Long
We Will do this Forever Let's End at Long Last
(CAFPVLAATAVVLWWDTFLELL). They formed it in secret
in fear of being forced to drink potato juice. Eww. Or maybe
Spicy Hot V8. Whichever they drank, it was disgusting. At the
battle of Capthertion they defeated the Army of Potato. Their
dream had finally came true. But... they also had to defeat the
Turnipian Forces. The CAFPVLAATAVVLWWDTFLELL
sieged the Turnipian city of Jopthropinia for 9 months. The
CAFPVLAATAVVLWWDTFLELL won. They also
imprisoned the Turnipian emperor, Aloysius Allerman Fullerton
Spellerman-Bankerton VII. Then they conquered the United
States. They instituted the Empire of Alerdintia and instituted a
new currency, the peleion, which is: 1 peleion=
$1,337,337,337,337,337,337 (1984 USD)They made a new city
called Boring City and declared it the capital city of Alerdintia.
Alerdintia grew VERY slowly. In the second year it only had
700 residents. But in October of 3972, 4,000,000,000,000 people
moved in. Now the population has 4,000,000,000,007. -Jaime-I
think donuts are better than munchkins. Also, which would you
prefer? Pie or buttcheeks? Now, if you don't play Minecraft,
your computer will explode in 5 seconds, sucker. -Kenneth-
Jaime is such a noob at Minecraft. I have officially declared him
a class 10 Noob. No person shall be within 600 miles of him,
and those 600 miles are the "Jamian Zone". NOTE: Everything
before Jaime's text, I typed it. IDK why but I have this thing of
which I am interestedf in certain states. First one: Colorado.
Second one: Minnesota. And the third one... ILL NEVER TELL
YOU! 
 Hai. Sorry for the delay guys but I have migrated my site over
to geocities.ws and I haven't had the time and feeling to write
another paragraph. We played wiffleball at my backyard and in
my intestines. Blah blah filler text and filler text. This web
editor is soooo much better than Redkid's webpage builder.
Geocities is a WYSIWYG HTML editor, and that's good enough
for me. But the only thing is that I can't find either a colored
horizontal line or a background color. Let's talk about garlic
juice and potato juice. It may or may not be real. I googled
garlic juice last nightand it is REAL! Garlic juice: CLICK
HEEYAH Then we have to do potato juice.
http://davidwboswell.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/potato_juice
_large.jpg I can't even imagine the taste or smell of them! Meh
meh meh. More disgusting foods to Google! I found pics of
some cheese called "casu marzu" which has maggots in it. Eww!
And we have broccoli pie. That should not exist! EVER. On to
the CAFPVLAATAVVLWWDTFLELL. It was the ugh im so
sleepy right nao;p34tigrwj4gt3oqhwerioaejohu4wejom
7ws6yn††††††††††4ewfiagiaefgkwh3rwqidjkiljk2ewuhg4ejfklv
iynurbejvwnachubujnegrfwdasjmihnj˜ghrb vvgb *wakes up*
Heh? Wha-what? Is my name Alex Poller?  *scientist appears*
Eh, yes. Your name is Alex Poller. We have put you in a virtual
reality simulator to *static noise* Lemme keep on typing diz,
dang it. Ack. So how 'bout dat airline food? Nah. Now
the CAFPVLAATAVVLWWDTFLELL was divided into 2
parts: the Derpian League and the Herpsonian Coalition of
Leagues and Armies.  The DL was, really suckish. Although the
HC was veeery good, even gooder. Screw you I can make
gooder a word. In the year 5029 in the rightful and righteous
reign of Emperor Todd *note the bad name*  he declared war
against Emperor Jacob IV. Here are some war transcripts. Hah!
NOPE. You will not get to see them until you pay $4.95 per
character. HAHA WE ARE EVIL *passes out* Wer em I?
*scientist*: Just partake in this. Please. As I said, it is a
simulator for the Alerdintian War. You are on the HC.
*simulator stops forever* Let's do that LATER. So do you like
stuff? Ehh lelelelel. <--- French LOL or le lololol or le lelelel. Its
taking me too long to type up one batch of large paragraph. I
need large paragraph. Large paragraph is good. Ahhh, I have
gotten myself into euphoria! I do officially swear that some--
*snores* ACK! DON'T WAKE ME UP! HOT FUDGE
SUNDAE. Think about it, your infinite supply or not hot fudge
sundaes, your infinite supply of... PELEIONS! Remember: 1
peleion= $1,337,337,337,337,337,337 (1984 USD). That means
LOTSA MONEY!
*Official CAFPVLAATAVVLWWDTFLELL
Advertisement* Do YOU want to have LOTSA MONEYS? Do
YOU like stuff! Like unique currency? Well then trade *in the
Not-So-Evil Company Inc. and invest in the PELEION! The
official sign for the peleion is Þand REMEMBER THAT.  *end
ad* So that was just wat. And I don't have anything to write
about wait whaaa roqwehug42qhiwefhiuwgyukh riluyktguyhjer
*scientist* Just stop already. *goes back to real world* Da heck
wuz that? Alright lets just keepon going on and on and on and
on.... *sleeping then wakes up* GOSH DARN IT DON'T
WAKE ME UP. Jaime has maybe been kicked out of this fiasco
and I want to type long paragraphs and stuff but I can't type
really long stuff and we introduce to you Jeffrey Antonio Jr. I
have known him since like 1st grade. And he will probably
never type even one tiny weeny little sentence. Never. Ever. Fun
fact:  in this entire text: only Times New Roman 18 pt font has
been used. Ever. No strikethroughs, no bold print. No
underlining. No italics, until now! SCREW YOU. I CAN TYPE
WHAT I WANT. Lol wat wat. What am I supposed to do? Just
type? Oh, hey, umm.... My name is Bradley. Call me Brad for
short. Me: What the heck is this guy doing here? Ummm....
AMAZING NEWS! Today at 2 pm EST I have found the lost
and rumored Codex of the CAFPVLAATAVVLWWDTFLELL!
And you, only you, will get to see a transcript of the Codex!

Section 2: Page 78: And, lo, beholdeth, the source of

Genevoius's life, the meaning, his mission, was foundeth. He
stareth at it liketh as a donkey stareth at grapes.
"The CAFPVLAATAVVLWWDTFLELL!" he shouteth unto
himself, and therefore, from that time on, he dedicateth thou
being to the CAFPVLAATAVVLWWDTFLELL. Genevoius still
could not comprehendeth how much it meanteth to him. "What a
beauty, but such a great responsibility!" he said unto himself.
-6-21-2013- Hey. I'm once again back. So I left off on the Codex
and I will never show you the rest because I am a JERK! So we
ended school. Let's get to the point of this. When you are
watching a movie (on DVD), don't you get pissed off when you
see a preview for every movie made EVER and that takes like
90 years of your life and the rest is the ACTUAL MOVIE
WHICH YOU WANT TO ACTUALLY SEE? So like that's the
main point of the rant. -6-23-13- Enter the War of the
Smartboard. It was getting late on the school day (12:20 pm for
a half-a-day) when, the Great Councillorette, A.F.(RANDOM
SENTENCE) (we will call errybody 'sept me by their initials, to
not piss one off.) Our substitute teacher let us watch stuff on
Youtube after watching Hotel Transylvania. Then it was decided
the girls would watch some song about stubbles to the tune of
Taylor Swift's "I Knew You Were Trouble". Us guy-dudes were
bored. M.A attempted to regain control of the Smartboard we
needed so very dearly much. Then all the brouhaha turned into
World War III and Universe War I. It was a boys-against-girls
free-for-all- showdown. Us boys had ourselves the last laugh
because in the Battle of Jupiter which they say that boys go to
Jupiter to get more stupider, but it was actually the girls who
were more stupid because you can't use the phrase "more
stupider". We eventually conquered all the planets. Fin.
Except... that was not actually how it happened! After what they
watched, we did the Harlem Shake and Gentleman. -6-24-13-
Begin the rant on the mall called Jersey Gardens. Reason 1. no
bookstore. WHY JERSEY GARDENS WHY? *Lemongrab
voice* THIS... IS... UNACCEPTABLE! Reason 2. people
lugging around luggage literally the size of entire universes. 
Reason 3. The ongoing construction makes it look like
Chernobyl. Reason 4. It is a maze of perpetual confuseness.   
Literally. When you get to the Confuseplace (also known where
the H&M and the occasional Santa photo booth pops up) you do
not know where to go to the parking lot, you do not know where
to go to basically ANYWHERE. So basically, you're screwed.
So I'm gonna talk about
the CAFPVLAATAVVLWWDTFLELL.
The CAFPVLAATAVVLWWDTFLELL is strong and it has
more than enough members. There must be a 5-day weekend.
THERE MUST BE ONE. 10 day weeks FTW! Because we have
5 days of work/school and only 2 weekend days: Saturday and
Sunday. (cue sad trombone) And most if not all stores at least
where I live are closed on Sunday! (cue again). The three filler
days shall be called in order, Parsday, Mediuday, and
Finiday.BTW: They are Latin for party, middle, and end.
Parsday would be the best day for parties because obviously.
Mediuday I’m not sure if it’s good for anything. It may be just a
normal weekend. Finiday would probably be your end day for 3-
day feasts, parties, -fests, and Woodstock-style events (referring
to the size). The days would be balanced because if you didn’t
read the beginning and were kinda lazy (no offense) there would
be 5 days of work/school (boring) and 5 days of weekend. Pure
weekend. Just like yin and yang (not that TV show on Jetix).
-~*6-25-13*~- I am now the current leader of the
CAFPVLAATAVVLWWDTFLELL. That thing about
Genevoius happened like 8000 billion years ago. And I have
officially launched the CAFPVLAATAVVLWWDTFLELL
Official Mars Colony! The colony is... oh wait... let me talk
aboot my Canadian evil twin, eh? Nah let me talk about Maine.
Maine is a kinda weird state and I like it. It's like one of those
states that are always left out like Wyoming and Montana and
ND and SD. Very boring but yet so weird. Then there's Dan
Fogelberg who did "Same Old Lang Syne" Christmas song and
there's Tom's of Maine. Hmmm.... I wouldn't call Maine weird,
just that hospitable state, or maybe that state that is maybe
plotting against us. THAT EVIL STATE. MAINE, IN NEW
ENGLAND. Maybe it is plotting to make a fart bomb that will
be so smelly it smells like rancid milk. I recently stumbled upon
this weird site called Zombo.com. It just says "Welcome to
Zombo com, blah blah". Turns out it was a parody of all the sites
that have Flash animation intros. OMG I am going to a wedding
tomorrow! (First OMG ever in the LTE!) I do not know what it
will be like like oh gosh ack. Will it be cruddy or good? ONLY
TIME WILL TELL! Tune in to "The Wedding That Was" on
Channel 40384929½ on Wednesday! What the heck was that? I
am never gonna make the LTE normal again. OH MAI GAWD
THERE IS A PLACE CALLED FLIPPIN, AR! And you get
it.....the Flippin Police! I always pretend my school is Hogwarts
and I am Harry Potter. Can't.... type.... Maine... iiissss.... trying
to get me..... NNNOOOOO ikqm3nF EASDC&J MDWH Holy
crud. Or the Citizens Rocking Under Derp. C.R.U.D. Can't stop
talking about Maine. Maine is my favorite state. I love Maine.
Maybe I'll propose to that almighty state and marry Maine.
*Normal Kenneth looks at previous message* Ehhh, what the
flippin' fudgin' crud' spudge. I do suppose the evil Maine people
have *interruption* I keep on hearing a screaming girl in my
neighborhood. That's really strange. *end interruption* The
Maine people have brainwashed my stupid twin brother Eduardo
and not me! That's one of the perks of having a fictional twin
brother/sister. What if we put anything in a blender (ppancakes
are included) and blended it to an almost juice-like concoction!
Just imagine it! Pancake juice, soup juice (although soup is a
liquid), potato juice and even hamburger juice! OH GOD THIS
IS FREAKING ME OUT RIGHT NOW. -~*6-27-13*~- Back I
am. It turns out that the wedding alrrady happened and I am
PISSED OFF! -~*6-29-13*~- Montana is a boring state! I am
now compiling my list of boring states: (in no particular order)
WY, ND, SD, MT, SC, ME, PA, RI, CT, NE, IA, KS, MO, MS,
AL, ID, and UT. Booooooo-rrrrrriiiing! -~*7-2-13*~- Haaay! K
is here! 7-15-13- I am going to the Philippines tomorrow. Stuff
will happen. But don't worry. Your younger brother Maine is
gonne be over here to protect you every step of the way,
Wyoming. Or maybe that won't happen. Maybe Maine will be
punched in the face by all the other New England STATES.
Whatever happens, it's fine with me. Oh wait it isn't. I like ice
cream. My middle name is Monica. Monica Jennifer Anastasia.
So that will make my name Kenneth Monica Jennifer Anastasia.
That's how I roll. YES, I JUST RENAMED MYSELF AFTER
FEMALES. Idaho sucks. Idaho sucks because there is nothing to
do. Boise is too boring. It keeps on trying to become NYC but
it's failing. I mean who even goes to Idaho for a vacation
anyways? I haven't heard of an amusement park or a waterpark
in ID. As of 7-15-13. Oh hey guys I'm back and with a new
keyboard. Back from Pinas! I miss the cousins so much ans blah
blah blarrg...... Well I haven't got any ideas to write about, no
funny stuff so bye bye for now. Oh hey you're there I didn't even
know yeah and so I'm typing this to see how much I write in one
sitting. Turns I can type a lot of stuff. You know. Wait, you
don't know? YOU? I...I thought you knew me? Well then you
don't know me. Ha. End. Ohaider!!!! I'm sooo sooo bored of
typing all this stuff. Ugh. Oh wait no that was somebody THAT
I USED TO KNOW!!!! -~*12-1-13*~- Back I shall be. No, wait
I am back. HAHA! Now I do not know what to type about.
Maybe I should write about buttcheeks. Ewww, nevah! 2-12-14
Okay so I am back for the first time in over a month or two
months whoever cares about it. I will proceed to tell you about
the entire history of paperclips. In 1439 BC an Egyptian prince
named Mappashuppa needed to fasten some things to his history
paper. Then he forced his advisor Puup to make a paper-fastener
or either get whipped or be forced to drink tomato juice for the
rest of his life. Puup eventually made the paperclip in an hour or
so. But Mappashuppa did both the whipping and the tomato
juice thing on Puup. You know, Puup was also a whipping
boy!!!! PLOT TWIST. Oh and Happy 2014 suckers!! I need to
make this really long like really really long that even ou cant go
even a quarter of a way through without pass
 -~*7-10-15*~- My God. It has been almost two damn years
since I have updated this massive brick of text. I mean, what is
this even doing here? What am I even typing about? Questions
like this will be ignored throughout the entire course of this
endless wall of text, since I don't even know what this has turned
to anymore. You know, I did this type of stuff in the fourth
grade, when I was ten, and amateurish. But now, I'm in sixth
grade, and still amateurish, but less messed up than before. Like
I said, what am I even typing about? I don't even know why I
did this website, bringing up the fact that I purposefully wanted
this website to look simple, but 90's style. I'm not cringing at
this, but this... this... is a flaming cesspool of rubbish. There
have been many important things that have happened during my
so-called "break", such as the making of the rare Pepe and the
making of my mixtape, which is fire. Oh... I forgot something.
DEEZ NUTS! HA, GOT EM! However, on the other hand, I
may be coming back, though, to this forsaken place, where my
ideas are dumped around in careless fashion, in a disorderly
order which is again disorderly, in my room, on my computer. I
may come here to write about stuff, of course, boring stuff.
These simple-looking websites are a godsend to me. They bring
me memories of making stuff like this. Oh well, I know I'm
going too deep. So deep that Adele's rolling in it. Well, I guess
that this is the point where I say goodbye to writing and editing
this crappy website for now. For now.
 

Hasta la vista, baby.  Faith Never Fails! Check out my mixtape!

 

P.S- I don't know how many people have seen this thing, but
thank you for looking at this. I am eternally grateful to all of you
who decided to think that this place was worthy of a stopover in
your journey throughout the internet and dank memes. God bless
you all.

HEY! YOU! YES, YOU! Wanna help write

the LONGEST TEXT EVER? Wanna send
ideas?
Wanna submit your chunk of text? Do you
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Email me at ultraimagination@yahoo.com