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The Best Jokes Ever - 5
The Best Jokes Ever - 5
Then they passed a blonde sitting on the side walk laughing her
butt off. They asked, "why are you laughing so hard?" and the
blonde said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up!!"
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all
these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid,
so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are
smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is
going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets
down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30
and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the liv-
ing room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.
He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at
the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She
replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she
wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb
and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks
her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that
she was reading the directions on the paint can and they
said.... FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.
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The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut
into six pieces or twelve.
Second Blonde:
Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is
down!
A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it
was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied:
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"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that
question all day long, and each time I get a different answer."
A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and
was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke.
A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a
field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily
jumped out yelling,
"You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the
rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and
give you what's coming to you!"
A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink,
and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was
shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the
blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.
Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50.
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she
decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.
When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the
country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a
flock of sheep and thought,
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one
home?"
The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who
looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her
car.
The one who went in saw the sacks and said "Hey there's noth-
ing but three potato sacks in here"
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So he kicks the first one with a brunette in it, and she says
"Meowww"
Then he kicked the second one with the second brunette hiding
in it, so she says "WOOF!" so the cop says "Its just a dog"
Then he kicks the one with the blonde in, and she says "POTA-
TOS!"
Best Chuck Norris Jokes
--Top Chuck Norris Facts--
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CHAPTER 4
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac® at Burger King® and got one.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no
signs of life there.