CHAPTER 4

30 | P a g e The Best Jokes of All Time

The Best Chuck Norris Jokes #6

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied,

"Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere men-
tion of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last,
and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse deli-
vered by Chuck Norris.

The Best Chuck Norris Jokes #7

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only

another fist.

The Best Chuck Norris Jokes #8

When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to

the doctors.

The Best Chuck Norris Jokes #9

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck
Norris has more money than you

The Best Chuck Norris Jokes #10

Chuck Norris once tried to wear glasses. The result was him
seeing around the world to the point where he was looking at
the back of his own head.

The Best Chuck Norris Jokes #11

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats pa-
per, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.
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The Best Chuck Norris Jokes #12

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Nor-
ris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

The Best Chuck Norris Jokes #13

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to miss-

pell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

The Best Chuck Norris Jokes #14

Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing

Chuck Norris for every answer.
Best Redneck Jokes
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P a g e | 33

CHAPTER 5

Best Redneck Jokes

Redneck Jokes
Best Redneck Jokes #1

Two rednecks were walking down a path. One of them was car-
rying a sack of chicken over his shoulder. Suddenly one of them
asks the other (with his redneck slang voice), “If I guess how
many chickens you have in your bag, can I have one of them?"

The other one says, "Sure if you can guess how many I have,
I´ll give you both of them."

The other one replies, “Umm, .... I think you´ve got five!"

Best Redneck Jokes #1

Bubba's teacher asked him the difference between his age and
his Brother's age.

"Well, mamma told me last year that mah brother is 1 year

older than me..." he answered.

"So, accordin to mah calculation, this year we must both be the

same age!"
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34 | P a g e The Best Jokes of All Time

Best Redneck Jokes #1

Three rednecks appeared on a Quiz show - Jim-bob, Bubba and

Hank. Somehow they made it to the final question worth
$50,000.

The TV host said to Jim-Bob, "I will sing a song, leave 1 word
out. You must say the word and spell it ...Here it is - Old McDo-
nald had a ....?

Jim-bob answers, "Cow, I spell it - C-O-W."

The host says, "You spelled cow right, but that ain't the right
word."

"Ok Bubba, now your turn", says the Quiz master, "Old MacDo-
nald had a ...?"

Bubba answers, "Pig and I spell it P-I-G."

The host grimaces, "Well, again like Jim-bob, you spelled it

right, but it wasn't the answer I'm looking for."

"Well Hank, for the 50,000 dollar question, Old McDonald had a
…?"

Hank yells out "Farm!"

The TV host gets excited and says, "Excellent Hank, now please
spell it."

Hank answers - "E-I-E-I-O"

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Best Redneck Jokes #1

A professor at W.Virginia University is giving a lecture on the

supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How
many people here believe in ghosts?"

About 90 students raise their hands. "Well that's a good start.

Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think
you've ever seen a ghost?"

About 40 students raise their hands. "That's really good. I'm

really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked
to a ghost?

15 students raise their hands. "That's a great response. Has

anyone here ever touched a ghost?" 3 students raise their
hands. "That's fantastic."

"But let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ev-
er made love to a ghost?"

One student in a flannel shirt and baseball cap way in the back
raises his hand. The professor is astonished. He takes off his
glasses, takes a step back, and says, "Son, all the years I've
been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept
with a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your
experience."

The redneck student complies with a nod and a grin, and begins
to make his way up to the podium.

The professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with
a ghost."

The student replies, "Ghost?!? Sheeyit..... From back there it

sounded like you said 'goats'".
Best Sarcastic Jokes