COMMUNICATION TIPS

Making direct eye contact and keep talking

Add a hand gesture

Polite ask the interrupter to let you finish

Dealing with gossip

1. Understand the Introversion & Extroversion

Explore the difference between Introversion and Extroversion and how these temperaments affect
communication choices

Where are you in the scale of introversion and extroversion? Are you far to the one side, or the other, or
somewhat in the middle?

Probably one of the reasons why we have been working so well together. We bring both types to every
project that we tackle.

I have a deep introspection and thoughtfulness. She has “seize the day & make it happen” attitude. It’s a
dynamic package. But is also mean we have to learn to flex our communication styles in order work
together efficiently.

Here are a couple of quick tips for you and how to best push out your normal communication repertoire
and give your teammates more of what they need.

Working with introverts:

- Give out detailed agendas before meetings

Maybe even more than an agenda. Encourage them to come to the meeting prepared to comment
on certain topics. Introverts always to better if they have a solitary processing time like
brainstorming, revisit topics. The best thinking is likely to come after the initial discussion.

- Get to know your introverted teammates one on one.

Introverts, contrary to one of the myths about them, are not anti-social. They simply prefer to
socialize in pairs or very small groups. So rather always suggesting that the entire office go to lunch,
invite just your introverted teammate sometimes.

Working with Extroverts:

- To better communicate with extroverts in your life, respect their need to process by talking.

Go out of your way to engage them. Ask them open ended questions, and let them talk out loud.

Don’t assume everything they say is exactly what they mean, or that you have to act on everything
they say. Understand extroverts verbalize their thoughts to gain clarity, in the same way that you
might sit quietly and ponder, or write out your thoughts to gain clarity.

- Schedule your time to visit them daily.

 Socializing may not be the natural part of your emotional need, but it’s for the extrovert.

Honor that need for connection and make it a habit.

Ask your colleague what kind of working environment and meeting settings help them work best
and share your own needs as well.

Extroverts and introverts, we can make powerful teammates, when we learn to flex our own
communication styles.

2. Entering and exiting a conversation

There’s an art to interact with an already-formed group of people in a social or business setting, which
can be effective and teachable.

Observer people who demonstrate them gracefully and practice your skills with every opportunity you
get.

Here are group of entering and exiting tips for making the somewhat awkward situation into a more
comfortable one. The toughest part of an already-formed group is entering it

Entering a conversation:

- Stand outside of the group

The strategy is to stand in the outskirts of the circle the group has formed.

- Make the eye contact with the speaker

Follow the content of the conversation and wait for the pause of the conversation.

- At the right time of the pause, make a relevant comment about what the group is discussing,
and quickly introduce yourself.

Being brought in by an insider is always the safe way to go with a new group. If there is someone in
the group who you know, ask them to introduce you to the rest of the group. Listen attentively and
eventually make a comment. A side note on commentary, make sure your comments relevant and
informed. Catching up on local news and culture before you interact is a good idea.

Shaking hands with people whom you’re meeting and repeat your names and yours.

Repeating name will help you with retention (Sự ghi nhớ; trí nhớ,). If you are like me and you have
troubles with names, repeat it silently and use it as often as possible. If it’s an uncommon name, ask
the person for the spelling or possibly ask them to repeat it for the correct pronunciation. Use the
name again when you depart and write it down with a short line describing the person as a reminder
to yourself.

Existing a conversation

In the cocktail party type of environment, conversation existing has to be stra’tegic. When you need
to move on and end a conversation with someone in the group, introduce them to the third party
and then mention something that the two have in common as a topic of discussion. Then excuse
yourself.
 Another option is to offer talking the person you met with you to the next group of people, you just
want to connect them with. For example, you can say, let’s in check with the group that planned this
event and give them our thanks. I see them over there. When you exist a group conversation again,
excuse yourself politely and announce one of the three B’s for your next stop, bathroom, bar, or
bounce to another next group. Set a goal for the next company function you attend. Stay outside of
the talking circle and try using the group entering techniques listed above. To make your stance
more comfortable, hold a drink in your hand, pay attention to people’s name tags, and then try to
use their name to introduce yourself.

3. Building rapport

She has a knack for striking up conversations with strangers and always operated with a high level of
curiosity and interest in others. Her questions were about the other person, who quickly ended up
talking about something they were interested in. Deanne listed attentively and then she used the
information to learn more about her acquaintance. What I leant from her early on was the masterful art
of building rapport.

Building rapport is creating relationship with another person. Rapport is based on commonality,
harmony, and human connection. There are 3 types of building rapport and I will list them in order of
difficulty.

Simple Rapport

Rapport is easy when you and the other person have a lot in common. I’ll call it simple rapport.

We have a lot in common with people that we share a context with, such as work, a past experience like
high school, or someone we share the same environment with, such as a family member. Do you
practice connecting with people at family gatherings and at work social gatherings? This is your easiest
training ground.

Impromptu Rapport

A trickier type of rapport that does not come as natural is impromptu rapport. You may not know this
person but may find something you both have in common, and that sparks an initial connection. For
example, on your vocation you sit across a person wearing a sweatshirt with your city’s name across the
chest or you are at the business meeting and you find the person across the conference table is wearing
the same charity bracelet with you. Both examples would make it easy to spark a conversation with a
stranger, as it would be based on your chance commonality and the opportunity to build rapport. Take
notice of people around you that you may not know but you may have something in common with.
Practice striking up the conversation around that commonality first and then ask another question so
you get to know something more about them.

Custom Rapport

The hardest type is custom rapport. This is rapport that does not stem from any commonality or shared
past experiences. For custom rapport happen, you have to make an effort, do your homework, and find
something you have in common with the other person in order to strike up a conversation. It takes
practice and energy and might not be comfortable if you are not used to doing this very often. Next time
you attend a company function or a conference, look up some of the session speakers, read one or two
of the bios, attend their sessions, and then strike up a conversation or ask them a question at the end.
The pre-work will allow you the chance to get information. The session will give you context of
discussion, and the overall setting will give you a chance to practice customer rapport. When you try to
make connection with another, whether its in a business or a personal setting, it takes energy and
practice. It’s a known fact that 80% of sales, marketing and initial connections are made through
networking. The stronger you are at rapport building, the stronger networker you will become. Practice
all three types of rapport building: simple, impromptu and custom rapport.

4. Connecting through questions

In the business world, questions will give an excellent power for building rapport with a new contact,
building relationship with an existing contact, or most importantly building your credibility as a
professional. Say, for example, you attend a cocktail hour at a conference where executives or clients
representing several companies are present. To make a good impression, you hopefully have done some
homework, or you attend portions of the conference so you share similar context with the
conversationalists. Here’s some tips to help each question-based conversation create a positive
impression of you:

-Start with positive comments

Start with positive comments about the person, their company, or something you both heard at the
conference. The warm-up question will show that you’re interested, and that you’ve done your
homework. For starters, keep your question indirect. For example, you can say, “the keynote speaker
drove home a message of time management. How do you train for that in your division?” Asking direct
question to soon, for example, how did you decide to grow in this market? Well that may give the
perception of you being too aggressive in your approach.

A side not on the style, some industries expect directness and efficiency, so approach accordingly.

-Ask open-ended questions: to allow your listeners to elaborate on the topic and give you further
information. For example, Mr Hogdge, tell me more about that. So, how was that decided?

Ask questions that go beyond basic knowledge, showing that you have an understanding of the
company and the industry. For example, if someone tells you that they are working for a known
pharmaceutical company, possible ask, “what the hottest area for research and development” versus
asking “Tell me about the drugs that you have on the market”

-Mind your nonverbals

Giving a positive impression during the question-asking period, involves standing tall, maintaining open
body language by keeping your hands comfortably by your sides and not fidgeting.

Avoiding up-talk, the noticeable question pitch that some people place at the end of the sentence?

Avoiding filler such as” um, like, ah, so, so you know, ….”

-Be an active listener: while others are speaking. Nod, maintain eye contact, repeat part of the question,
take mental notes, use verbal encouragers such as “I see, hhumm, very interesting,” Whether you are
asking questions at one-on-one conversation setting at the office, a networking event with people you
just met at a conference, or a formal Q&A question at the end of the presentation, use them and build
your credibility. Focus your question exchange on the other person, show that you’ve done your
homework, and most importantly, use question to help you build the relationship.

5. Having empathy

6. Persuading people
7. Tactful bragging
8. Negotiation your needs
9. Communicating assertively
10. Building authenticity
11. Telling stories
12. Making your message stick
13. Communication with confidence
14. Using influence
15. Making a request
16. Making a small talk
17. Dealing with interrupters
18. Saying No
19. Giving constructive criticism
20. Speaking on no notice
21. Asking at work

-Learn from others

-Gather information before making a big ask

-Practice every day. It really doesn’t matter for what you ask, just make sure you make at least one
ask a day for a couple of weeks. “Stretch those muscles out really well”.

22. Building consensus

23. Redirecting gossip
24. Succeeding in a video conference
25. Exploring team roles
26. Communicating with Gen Y
27. Preparing for an interview
28. Reducing your anxiety about public speaking
29. Communicating authentically as a leader
30. Finding your best voice
31. Teaching others how to do a task
32. Communicating remotely
33. Asking the great questions
34. The power of pause
35. Team charters
36. Tools for virtual teams
 37. Communicating with accuracy
38. Making a recommendation
39. Working with a bully
40. American English tricks and traps
41. Speaking at special occasions
42. Making Introductions
43. Giving feedback
44. Managing older employees
45. Communicating with multiple bosses
46. Orienting new employees
47. The things your things say
48. Communicating credibility
49. Communicating Challenge
50. Making decisions differently: Head vs Heart

In my years working in the field of human resources, I saw this scenario played out again and again. A
company rep comes into office to demonstrate the use of a new copier, fax, scanner machine. The head
send out an email asking everyone for their opinion before the department makes a purchasing
decision. Two kinds of email reply stand out:

Type 1: is it efficient? Is it faster than the old one? Is it cheaper per copy? Will it fit the corner where the
old one was? Because we’re crammed in that back mailroom.

Type 2: Has everyone had a chance to use it? What do you all think? I was ok with the new screen but
they are different than the old one. Will it be too hard for us to use or will we have to read through the
manual?

How we all makes decision varies and depends on our preferred style.

Some of us make decisions based on logic and others make decisions based on emotion. To be effective
in the workplace, it’s crucial to understand the main different between 2 approaches and to be able to
communicate with someone who makes decisions in a different way than you do.

Head-lead decision makers like to analyze, evaluate, and pick an idea apart in order to understand it
better. When you ask them, they provide honest and frank feedback without sugarcoating their
remarks.

Although they come across as calm, thoughtful and collected, to those who tend to make their decision
based on emotion, this approach may seem too focused on results, and too direct, ignoring the
emotional component to decision-making and rubbing people in the wrong way.

Heart Decision makers (contextual, empathetic, thorough

make decision based on the entire scenario which includes the situation, the people involved, their
feelings and their reactions. They prefer to spend time making decision. They often enjoy the process
rather than they enjoy the product of a team project. Heart-lead decision like to work in collaborative
environments and focus on harmony as a top priority.

If you want to influence a head-led decision maker, consider communicating with them in this way:
Be objective and collected with your demeanor. Avoid words such as “I feel”, “I sense” and stick to the
facts/provide factual information if you want them to respond within their comfort zone.

Focus on a logical approach of providing claims and evidence/ Share evidence. Your evidence can
involve stories and anecdotes, but if you want their attention, you should sprinkle in facts and figures
that would work to build and strengthen your main ideas.

Deliver structured information: be concrete, organized and clear in your delivery. I often see remarkable
ideas that are not presented in the preferred style of the audience and they end up losing their impact.
For example, a creative idea presented in a storytelling, cyclical pattern format without a clear “so what”
for the audience and no concrete action steps to follow will not get the attention of a head-lead
audience.

If the audience you’re trying to influence leans more towards the heart-led decision-making style, trying
to follow:

Start positive, avoid sounding too critical of an idea, or being too analytical right at the start of the
conversation.

Show appreciation for the effort involved and find common values before you get into specifics.

In order to be effective with constructive feedback, first, work on establishing rapport and trust.

If your heart-lead colleague wants to hear you, you need to focus on areas of agreement first. Focus on
common value of the people involved and affected by the upcoming decision. Show that you’re
considering that when you interact with your heart-led colleague and try to create win-win situations for
everyone involved. Understanding that people make decisions differently and flexing to that does not
mean that you are inconsistent in your communication approach. It means that you can meat people
where they are, build your credibility and get result.

51. Making decisions differently: Being type vs action type

We all differ in the way we live our lives, execute our schedule and get things done. Based on the Myers-
Briggs Personality Indicator, what I like to call Action types, or Judging preference, are decisive, task and
goal-oriented. They prefer clear expectations, and deadline in their work.

On the other hand, being types, Perceiving preference, adapt easily by being flexible, open to new
information and they find ways to incorporate it into their plans, even though it’s past the project start.
One type is not better than the other. People have preferred way of operating but can also adapt their
ways when working with colleague who operates differently. The trouble starts in the workplace when
colleagues do not appreciate one another’s style. They don’t reflex to it and as a result communication
suffers.

Communicating with Being Types:

- Allow time for reflection, exploration and discussion before making major decisions.

- Avoid a decisive tone: be mindful of sharing her opinion so that it doesn’t sound too decisive and final,
especially early in a project process.

- Ask open-ended questions and provide options.

- Be inclusive with the decisions that involve other types, especially if those decisions involve demanding
timeline.

Communicating with Action Types:

- Negotiate flexible timelines

- Move faster than he/she would prefer
- Be decisive and avoid tacking on last-minute items to the agenda.
- Prioritize ideas and narrow down the list

Both Action and Being preferences get things done in the workplace, they just get them done
differently. If you want to be effective communicator, be sure to reach out and adapt to styles that are
different than yours.

52. Making decisions differently: Trees vs Forests

Recently I worked virtually with two international colleagues on an assignment that required us to
design delivery of a workshop. To make matters more complicated, our audience was international, in
yet another overseas location and the project involved a new software system that none of us were
familiar with. Even though my story is starting to sound like a tasteless joke, in all seriousness, it
reminded me of how people take in information and analyze a new scenario at the start of a project.
Would my colleague want to see a big picture and all the possibilities first? What I call the forest
approach. Or, would they prefer to focus on the details first. Layout the step-by-step, what I like to call
the tree approach.

Tree: sketch our details, make agenda, ask questions related to the reference materials, ensure
audiences would be prepared with all the information beforehand.

-Link information to application

-Provide facts and figures

- Prefers concrete examples.

- Step-by-step approach

-Share resources

 How to work with:

-Discuss examples

-Focus on the facts

-Relate similar ideas

-Present information methodically and have buildingblocks

-Stick with concrete examples versus using metaphors, analogies or abstract examples.

Forest:

-Brainstorming ideas, explore the learning objective and explore the design possibilities,
-Recognize information patterns and understanding the big picture

-would ensure a long-term impact for the participants.

-Application-oriented

Tree & Forest are the perfect match as they differed in the way they processed information.

 How to work with:

-Discuss possibilities of the final outcomes

-Identify themes and patterns

-Stay future-focused

-Avoid guideline and time limits