Third Sunday after Epiphany

St. Raymond of Penafort - Confessor

J.M.J.

Lesson 33: DUTIES OF PARENTS TOWARD THEIR CHILDREN

Taken from "A Brief Catechism for Adults" -- available online at
http://www.olrl.org/Lessons/
.

"But he that shall scandalize one of these little ones that believe
in Me, it were better for him that a millstone should be hanged about
his neck, and that he should be drowned in the depth of the sea."
(Matthew 18:6)

1. To give their children the necessary food, clothing and shelter.

This obligation rests on both parents, whether living together or
separated. They must also keep their children from all danger to life
and protect them from possible death.

2. To give them good example.

Parents give good example by observing strictly all of their
religious duties. For example: Regularly attending Mass, not eating
meat on days of abstinence, carefully avoiding indecent speech,
lying, cursing, criticism of others, immodesty and drunkenness.
-- Parents should remember that children are great imitators, and
they should be very careful of everything they do and say in the
presence of their children.

3. To provide a truly Catholic home for them.

A Catholic home is one in which God and Religion are of the greatest
importance.
-- In the home there should be crucifixes, pictures of Jesus, the
Blessed Virgin Mary and the Saints. Indecent pictures and calendars,
lewd and sensational magazines, books, comic books, TV shows and
videos (http://olrl.org/misc/educ_TV.shtml
) have no place in the Christian home. There should be good books,
Catholic newspapers and Catholic magazines.

4. To have them baptized as soon as possible after birth.

It is a serious sin to delay the Baptism of infants, and if there is
any danger to the life of the newly born baby, the priest should be
called immediately.
-- In danger of death, and if no priest is available, Baptism can and
should be given by anyone (preferably someone other than the parents).
The one baptizing need not be Catholic; he may be of any religion or
of no religion. But he must have the intention of doing what the
Church does in Baptism. The procedure is: Pour water over the head of
the child, saying at the same time: "I baptize thee in the name of the
Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost."

5. To see that they go to Confession, receive Holy Communion and

receive Confirmation.
The children should be taught to go to Confession and Holy Communion
regularly and frequently - every week, if possible, especially during
vacation time.

6. To teach them to pray.

Daily prayers should be said together by the whole family.
-- As the saying goes, "The family that prays together stays
together." The daily family Rosary will go a very long way toward
ensuring that the children grow up to be good Catholics.

7. To see that they go to Mass every Sunday and on the six Holy Days.
Parents should not keep children home from Mass except for very
serious reasons.

8. To see that on Ash Wednesday and the Fridays of Lent they abstain
from meat altogether and that on the other Fridays of the year they
refrain from meat or perform a comparable penance.
--See Lesson 43, especially Question 11 -
http://www.olrl.org/Lessons/
.

9. To send them to a Catholic school.

This includes high school and college, as well as grammar school.
Parents are forbidden by Church Law to send their children to any
other kind of school. [*See below for more on this subject]
-- In very many cases today, the only truly Catholic school available
is home schooling. Experience has shown that Catholic home schooling
produces excellent results both spiritually and academically and that
it brings great blessings to the family. 

10. To insist that they marry in the Catholic Church.

A Catholic cannot marry except in the presence of a Catholic priest
and two witnesses.
--When a son or daughter begins to think seriously of marrying, the
parents should have him (or her) see the priest and receive the
necessary instructions on marriage. They should encourage dating only
with Catholics, or at least with non-Catholics who are willing to take
a full course of instructions in the Catholic Religion. Parents commit
a mortal sin by forcing or unduly persuading any of their children to
marry.

11. To give them the Christian attitude on marriage and having

children.
Parents should avoid complaining about the hardships of married life
and joking about the sacred duties of marriage.
--The birth of another child should be a joyful occasion for the
whole family so that the other children will consider having children
as the greatest blessing of married life.

12. To prepare them for marriage.

The children should be taught the serious duties and responsibilities
of marriage, both by word and example.
--They should also be taught the practical side of making a home,
such as cleaning, cooking, sewing, repairing, caring for children,
being on time, and being neat and orderly.

To avoid email filter blocks, numbers 13 and 14 are not posted here
but can be viewed online at http://www.olrl.org/Lessons/
- Lesson 33.

15. To correct their sins and faults.

It is a serious sin to neglect this duty.

16. To teach them the virtues of honesty, obedience, truthfulness,

purity, and modesty in dress.
These lessons must be given early and repeated continually.

17. To teach them respect for the rights and property of others.
Many parents sin seriously by bad example in this matter.

18. To teach them respect for all lawful authority.

Children should be taught early to respect all lawful authority,
especially the authority of the Church, the State and the School.

19. To give them wholesome recreation and keep them from evil
companions.
The Christian home should be the center of the child's social life, a
place where he feels free to bring his companions.
-- Parents should be extremely careful about allowing their children
to attend motion pictures; they should also examine their comic books
and govern their use of the radio and television, as well as the VCR.
Children receive many un-Christian ideas on life, marriage, crime,
drinking, body piercing, etc. from these sources of entertainment.
[One can imagine what Fr. Cogan would say of modern radio, motion
pictures and television.]

20. To encourage a child's desire to be a priest, a brother or

sister.
Having a priest, brother or sister in the family is one of the
greatest blessings that God can give a mother and father. Instead of
turning a child away from such a desire, parents should encourage the
child.

--- "A Brief Catechism for Adults" is available in print from

http://www.tanbooks.com
.
__________________________________ 

* Christian Education

The Catholic Church has always stressed the essential need for
parents to send their children to Catholic schools unless there is no
other possible option. Below are teachings from 5 different Popes on
the subject:

Catholic Church Teaching on Education:

- The Church cannot approve schools which exclude religion from the
curriculum, both because religion is the most important subject in
education, and because she contends that even secular education is
not possible in its best form unless religion be made the central,
vitalizing, and co-ordinating factor in the life of the child. The
Church, sometimes, tolerates schools in which religion is not taught,
and permits Catholic children to attend them, when the circumstances
are such as to leave no alternative, and when due precautions are
taken to supply by other means the religious training which such
schools do not give. She reserves the right to judge whether this be
the case, and, if her judgment is unfavourable, claims the right to
forbid attendance" (Letter of Gregory XVI to Irish Bishops, 1831).

- "...Those parents who allow their children to frequent schools

where it is impossible to avoid the loss of souls. . . according to
Catholic moral teaching, such parents, should they persist in their
attitude, cannot receive absolution in the Sacrament of Penance."
Instructions Of The Holy Office To The Bishops Of The U.S., Pope Pius
IX, 1875

- "It is, then, incumbent on parents to strain every nerve to ward

off such an outrage, and to strive manfully to have and to hold
exclusive authority to direct the education of their offspring, as is
fitting, in a Christian manner, and first and foremost to keep them
away from schools where there is risk of their drinking in the poison
of impiety" Sapientiae Christianae, Pope Leo XIII, 1890

- "First, Catholics should not choose mixed schools but have their
own schools especially for children. They should choose excellent and
reputable teachers for them. For an education in which religion is
altered or non-existent is a very dangerous education" Militantis
Ecclesiae, Pope Leo XIII, 1897

- "Obviously the need of this Christian instruction is accentuated by

the decline of our times and morals. It is even more demanded by the
existence of those public schools, lacking all religion, where
everything holy is ridiculed and scorned. There both teachers' lips
and students' ears are inclined to godlessness. We are referring to
those schools which are unjustly called neutral or lay. In reality,
they are nothing more than the stronghold of the powers of darkness."
Editae Saepe, Pope St. Pius X, 1910

- "Duty of Attending Only Catholic Schools. Catholic children may not

attend non-Catholic, neutral, or mixed-schools, that is, those which
are open also to non-Catholics, and it pertains exclusively to the
Ordinary of the place to decide, in accordance with instructions of
the Holy See, under what circumstances and with what precautions
against the danger of perversion, attendance at such schools may be
tolerated (Canon 1374).

"1. Neutral schools are those which exclude religion by prescinding

from it, such as the public schools in the United States. Mixed
schools are those which admit pupils of any or no religion. Catholic
schools, however, even though they admit some non-Catholic pupils, do
not come under this classification.

"2. Does the provision of canon 1374 apply only to elementary and
high schools, or also the colleges and universities?

"a. The natural law itself forbids Catholics to attend schools,

whatever their grade, if they are dangerous to faith or morals. Both
common experience and many documents of the Holy See prove that this
danger may exist not only in the elementary and high school but in
college and university as well. (As to elementary and high schools,
especially the public schools in the U.S., see Instruction of the
Holy Office, 24 Nov., 1875. As to colleges and universities, see S.C.
Prop. Fid., 7 Apr. 1860; Fontes, n. 4649, Vol. VII, p. 381, and
earlier documents there cited; also S.C. Prop. Fid., 6 Aug. 1867;
Fontes, n. 4868, Vol. VII, p. 405.) 'It is almost if not quite
impossible for those circumstances to exist which would render
attendance at non-Catholic universities free from sin.' (S.C. Prop.
Fid., 6 Aug. 1867; Fontes, n. 4868, Vol. VII, p. 405.) It was in
regard to universities that the Holy See declared: 'The unformed and
unstable characters of young people, the erroneous teaching which is
inhaled as it were with the very atmosphere in those institutions
without being offset by the antidote of solid doctrine, the great
power exerted over the young by human respect and the fear of
ridicule on the part of their fellows--all these things produce such
a present and proximate danger of falling away, that in general no
sufficient reason can be conceived for entrusting Catholic young
people to non-Catholic universities.' (Encyclical of the S.C. Prop.
Fid., to the Bishops of England, 6 Aug. 1867; Fontes, n. 4868, Vol.
VII pg. 405.)

"b. The only thing which this canon adds to the obligation of the
natural law is the provision that it is for the Ordinary of the place
to decide in accordance with the instructions of the Holy See, under
what circumstances and with what precautions against the danger of
perversion, such attendance may be permitted... Does it apply equally
to colleges and universities? We think that no such strict canonical
requirement can be proved... In the absence of such legislation,
parents and young people are bound by the natural law to remove
effectively the danger of perversion by employing safeguards which
are really sufficient. It is prudent and advisable, not strictly
obligatory, to consult the Ordinary on the sufficiency of these
precautions." From Canon Law: A Text and Commentary, by Bouscaren and
Ellis (1951, pgs. 762-4)

- "Another very grave danger is that naturalism which nowadays

invades the field of education in that most delicate matter of purity
of morals. Far too common is the error of those who with dangerous
assurance and under an ugly term propagate a so-called sex-education,
falsely imagining they can forearm youth against the dangers of
sensuality by means of purely natural, such as a foolhardy initiation
and precautionary instruction for all indiscriminately, even in
public; and, worse still, by exposing them at an early age to the
occasions, in order to accustom them, so it is argued, and as it were
to harden them against such dangers. Such persons grievously err in
refusing to recognize the inborn weakness of human nature, and the
law of which the Apostle speaks, fighting against the law of the
mind; Rom., vii, 23. and also in ignoring the experience of facts,
from which it is clear that, particularly in young people, evil
practices are the effect not so much of ignorance of intellect as of
weakness of a will exposed to dangerous occasions, and unsupported by
the means of grace.: Pope Pius XI on Sex-Education, 1929

- And first, as regards family life, it is of the highest importance

that the offspring of Christian marriages should be thoroughly
instructed in the precepts of religion; and that the various studies
by which youth is fitted for the world should be joined with that of
religion. To divorce these is to wish that youth should be neutral as
regards its duties to God; a system of education in itself fallacious,
and particularly fatal in tender years, for it opens the door to
atheism, and closes it on religion" ON THE RELIGIOUS QUESTION IN
FRANCE, Encyclical of Pope Leo XIII promulgated on February 8, 1884

Summary
Looking at Church teaching, parents have a serious obligation for
seeing to proper Catholic education of their children. Catholic
children must always be sent to Catholic schools unless not otherwise
possible.

And as we can see from the commentary on Canon Law, even adults must
use extreme caution when attending non-Catholic colleges and many
courses teach contrary to Catholicism, and are occasions of sin. If
we look at our page on "Occasions of Sin", it is itself a sin for us
to knowingly put ourselves in the occasion of sin. 
-- "Christian Education" - taken from