Blueprints for a Sparkling Tomorrow

BLUEPRINTS FOR A
SPARKLING TOMORROW
Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream
(revised and expanded edition)

By NATHAN J. ROBINSON
and OREN NIMNI
to the veldt and all those who have expended
their energies in attempting to save her
 Sycophantic Palms Press
Boston – Seattle – St. Louis
Copyright © 1965, 2010, 2015 by
Oren Nimni and Nathan J. Robinson
All rights reserved
Distributed in Canada by Nimni & Associates
Printed in the United States of America
First edition published in 2010 by Borometric Language Press

Library of Congress Catalog-in-Publication Data

Nimni, Oren and Nathan J. Robinson

Blueprints for a sparkling tomorrow: thoughts on reclaiming
the Armenian dream / Oren Nimni and Nathan J. Robinson
2 rev. and expanded ed.
p. cm.
Includes index.
ISBN-13: 9780692479810
ISBN-10: 0692479813
1. Diffusion of innovations. 2. Information society. 3. Globalization
–Economic aspects. 4. Globalization – Social aspects. 1. Title.
HM846.F74 2010
303.48’33-dc22
TABLE OF CONTENTS
(sparse)

Preface xvii
Introduction xxi

I. Elegies 6
II. Incompossibilities 24
III. Orthodoxies 56
IV. Growths 174

The End 245

 TABLE OF CONTENTS
(well-fleshed)

Contained Within:

Preface.....................................................................................xvii
The Vindication of Various Horse-Based Theories xvii
A Note on the Revision xviii
Intentions xix
Introduction .............................................................................xxi
The Dynamic Nature of the Blueprints xxii
What You Will Be Able To Do After Reading
The Blueprints Twice Daily For A Fortnight xxii
Themes of this Work xxiii
A Word on Guarantees xxv

I. Elegies........................................................1
(that which once existed, as it ought to have, but does no longer)

A. Structure and Infrastructure...................................................5

Attractive Things Well-Built 5
Pyramids, Etc. 7
Grand Illusions 8
Tailfins and Microbeauty 9

B. Society, Culture, and Animals...............................................10

Lack of Horses 10
A Hearty Weltanschauung 11
The Exploratory Impulse 12
 CONTENTS x

Commitment to a Thing 13
Uniforms Without Uniformity 15
Gentlemanism and Flâneurship 16
The Forcible Imposition of Values on One Another 17
Rather Good Books 19

C. Political Arrangements.........................................................21
Europe 21
A Fascism of Neighbours 22
Neighbourliness 23
Utopians and Utopianists 25
Infinite Possibility 26
Towards a Gradualist Formalism 28
Against a Formalist Gradualism 29

II. Incompossibilities................................31
(that which currently exists, but ought not to)

A. Structure and Infrastructure.................................................36

Institutional Stagnation 36
Compartmentalization of Social Activities 37
The Office As Distinct From The Playfield 38
On Prioritizing the Center Over the Periphery 40
On Failures to Consider the Periphery 41
The Stoplight and Its Discontents 41
Totalitarian Architecture 43
Rèal Estate 43

B. Society, Culture, and Animals..............................................48

Capitalism 48
God 51
Slavoj Žižek: Academic Charlatan 53
Away With The Interesting 56
The Psychology of Modern Leftism 57
Orwell’s Nightmare 60
Horse-Centrism and the Decline of Values 61
Condemning the Arts to the Fire 63
 CONTENTS xi

C. Political Arrangements.........................................................65
Expanding the Realm of the Political 65
Judges and the Mass Production of Miniature Gavels 66
Cakes and the Obsolescence of Law 67
The Legal Mind 68
Tacitly Consenting To Tacit Consent 69
Death to Socrates 71
If Every Dollar Is A Vote Then I Am A Serf 72
When Everyone is a King, Everyone is Still a King 74
Responsible Monarchy 75
Blues and the Bureaucracy 77
Other Bureaucratic Molassesses 78
Probably Actually The State Itself 80

III. Orthodoxies........................................81
(that which currently exists, as well it ought to)

A. Structure and Infrastructure.................................................84

Reviving the Unit While Disposing of the Unitary 84
The Front Porch 85
The Parade As Centering Device 86
The Parking Garage as Latter-Day Birth Canal 87
The Poet as Architect 88
The Architect as Poet 89

B. Society, Culture, and Animals..............................................90

Harnessing the Power of the Sciences 90
Cures for Diseases 92
The Robot Butler 94
Time Measurements as Industrial Conspiracy 95
Mechanization of the Dance 96
The Twist 98
Music More Generally 99
Modern Revolutions 101
Contemplate the Tweezers 103
On The Supposed Right to Rebel
Because of Noble Concerns 104
 CONTENTS xii

A Religious Temperament 105

Never Letting Atheism
Come in the Way of a Good Party 106
Honesty 106
Saying What You Mean 107
Terminological Distinctions 109
Hermeneutics 110
The Necktie as Serpent 110
The Serpent as Necktie 111
Owl Pellets and Democracy 112

C. Political Arrangements........................................................114
The Conservative Disposition 114
The Socialist Beach 116
Evolution 117
In Praise of Dubious Economics 118
That Which Cannot be Quantified 119

IV. Growths................................................121
(that which does not yet exist, but must and will)

A. Structure and Infrastructure................................................124

Building a Mountain 124
Left-Wing Airlines 126
Simple Improvements to the Modern-Day Motorcar 128
Bringing Geodesic Structures Into Common Use 132
The Habitable Capsule 134
New and Better Housing Units 135
Urban Planning and You 140
Lazy Rivers from Here to There 142
Much Smaller Buildings 145
Yet Nonreligious Cathedralism 146
The Reintroduction of Public Baths 147
There Is No Shame In Ritual
(Excepting for Ritual Shaming) 148
International Renaissance Faire 149
Permanently Disposing of Sporting Events 149
 CONTENTS xiii

B. Society, Culture, and Animals..............................................151

Education, Part I: Giving Newborns Pipes 152
Education, Part II: On the Madness of Learning 154
Education, Part III: Introducing the Lasso 155
Education, Part IV: Fact About the Galápagos 157
Education, Part V: Improving the University
Without Euthanization Silos 158
Education, Part VI: The PTA But With Guns 161
What to Do With the Elderly 162
What Dating Should Look Like 163
Fornication and the New American Century 165
Men & Women 166
If Birds Had Facebooks... 167
Kittenous Ubiquity 168
The Buick and the Rhubarb Patch 170
What Shape a Bagel Should Be 171
The Hunk of Butter 173
Finish Your Drink as they Drag You Away 174
The Fisherman-Taxidermist 175
Dantleyism 177
Untying Your Shoes Without
Gouging Out Your Eyes 179
Truth in Dentistry 180

C. Political Arrangements.......................................................181
Undermining the Label Industry 181
Finding The Orifice From Which Power Flows 183
Decentralizationism 184
The Randomly Selected Congress 186
The Forest Congress 186
The Nonexistent Congress 187
What the Police Should Do 188
Comfortable Penal Conditions 190
Or Perhaps No Penal Conditions Whatsoever 191
Worker Ownership 192
Tiny Landlords You Can Squash 194
Reclaiming the American Dream 196

 CONTENTS xiv

The End.....................................................196
Sketching A Blueprint With Wobbly Hand 200
Conclusion 204
What Is Progress? When Is Tomorrow? 207

Epilogue.....................................................211
Appendices.................................................213
Appendix A: The Thirty-Three Aphorisms
and their Effect on Living 215
Appendix B: Some Replies to Critics 217
Appendix C: Five Lectures 222
Address to the Assembled 223
The “Problem” of the Beard 225
Annexing Utopia Through Hostile Takeover 227
On Carnivorous Plants 231
Relentless _______ & the Law 233
Appendix D: Ephemera 236
An Interview 237
Advertisement: Tomorrow’s Oven, Today 243
Introduction to Canceled Omnibus 244
Inner Flap from First Hardcover Edition 245
Bonus Supplement: Rear Cover Text 246

Acknowledgments 247

About the Authors 249

Bibliography 251

Index 256

This Table of Contents is purely aspirational.

 BLUEPRINTS FOR A
SPARKLING TOMORROW

By NATHAN J. ROBINSON
and OREN NIMNI