“What Should You Do When He

Tells You to Call Him?”

An Excerpt From

Calling Men
The Complete Guide to Calling and Emailing Men
By Mimi Tanner
http://deservewhatyouwant.com/callingmen

When He Tells You to Call Him

Often a new man in our lives will say to us, “Call me.” What does that mean?

Those two little words can play big games with a woman’s mind if she’s not aware of
what they really mean – and how she should react (or not react) to them.

There’s only one time when it’s good news to hear “Call me” from a man – and that’s
when he’s already calling you frequently. He’s already actively pursuing you, and would
be thrilled to get a call from you. That’s the way you want it.

As you can imagine, when a woman calls a new man daily or even more often, instead of
making her calls rare and special occasions, her calls will be far less welcome and are
much more likely to come at a bad time or become an annoyance.

Worse still, her constant calls virtually ensure that her man is never going to spend time
thinking about her.

A man must spend time thinking about you in order to fall in love with you.
When a man casually says “Call me,” some women assume that this means he intends to
make a date, when he was just ending your conversation. “Call me” can be the equivalent
of the not-too-sincere “let’s have lunch.” Translation: “Call me – a year from never!”

When we really want to get closer to a man, and he throws out “Call me,” some women
make the mistake of latching on to this and taking it too literally. This reveals to him
that you have a lot more invested in a future with him than he does at that point. This will
make a man want to back off from you immediately.
Here’s a question from a woman who wondered what to do when a man told her to call
him:

Hi Mimi,

I’m mulling this over in my head: I went out with a guy on Friday night. We’ve
gone out before but nothing terribly serious.

When he dropped me off, he said, “Call me early this coming week and we can
chat. I had a great time tonight.”

So, of course, I said, “Well, I have a phone too; why don’t you call me?”

He laughed and said, “Yeah, you’re right, I guess it works both ways.”

[Mimi: When I heard those words “I guess” that would have told me a lot – it
states loud and clear that he’s not interested - or at least, not interested enough. “I
guess” about whether he should call her is very weak language indeed!]

So, I was just going to wait for him to call me, but then the next day he called me
and left a message on my cell phone. I called back, but his phone was turned off
or didn’t have service, which is understandable because he told me he was going
to be at a boxing match that night, and it was nighttime by the time I called.

Anyway, I was just wondering, now that it’s “early this week,” if it would be
appropriate for me to call him, or if I should just wait and see if he calls me?

This might be a stupid question, but I think my judgment goes away when I really
like someone...

-- Beth

Dear Beth,

Of course it’s sometimes hard to hang on to our good judgment when we really like
someone. I know exactly what you mean.

You handled that beautifully when you said in a flirtatious way that you have a phone
too. You didn’t say “Oh, I never call men.” Women should never say that - it’s too harsh
and it makes you sound like you read a book about not calling men! It’s a good idea to
keep your “secret weapons” a secret, and maintain your mystery.

Men are not stupid. It’s never necessary to tell a man that you don’t call men - at least not
any man who is worth your time.
It’s not a good sign that his parting words were “Call me early next week and we can
chat.” They should have been, “I’ll call you early this week” which states both the fact
that he will call and when. So you did well to let him know up front that you don’t play
the game by his rules which put you at a distinct disadvantage. What if you said, “Okay,
I’ll call you,” and sweetly accepted his putting the ball in your court to continue the
relationship by pursuing him?? Perish the thought! That would be the beginning of the
end!

He told you to call him “to chat.” That means nothing – especially since he told you to do
the calling.

Perhaps he was testing you to find out how much of a challenge you will be, or how “into
him” you already are – or perhaps he’s just been spoiled by other women who do call.

When you lightly said that he could also call you, it went well – because he did call you
the next day.

Saying “Hey, I have a phone, too – you can call me” works as long as you say it in a
smiling and teasing way – never offended or indignant. It works also because you
are telling him nicely what you want him to do. He’ll get the message.

You already tried to return his call, and were unable to. So when he calls you, you can
mention that. But it’s not a good idea to try numerous times to return a phone call that
can’t be returned – even if he does not know you tried to call.

It’s his job to make sure his phone is turned on. If it’s turned off, then he probably
doesn’t want any calls – especially if he’s left no means for you to leave a message. He
knows he’s unreachable, and that must be what he wanted right then. That’s not a
problem if he calls you later when he can talk. He did not forget that you exist!

He knows you probably tried to reach him, but were unable to, if his phone was out of
service. No one else was able to reach him either at that time. If your return call is
important to him, he will call you, since he knows he may have missed your call. So let it
go.

Your best move now is to do absolutely nothing! This means that you don’t have to think
about him until you hear from him! I know; that’s easier said than done. Get your mind
on something else.

When he does call you back, he’ll know that you are not desperate.

You did not move heaven and earth to find out why he did not or could not pick
up his phone. You did not keep calling him until you reached him.

He’ll also know that you are not going to be the type of girl who hounds him
mercilessly once he shows the slightest interest in you.
Because of how you handle calling him, he is far less likely to ever keep you at a distance
- because it will not be necessary.

Read the entire book Calling Men http://deservewhatyouwant.com/callingmen to

find out:

 Why it doesn’t work when a man expects a woman to call him first.

 What can you say to the man who tells you to call him?

 What if he insists that you call him first?

 Should you give your number to a man who has not asked you for it?

 Will he get angry with you if he says “Call me” and you don’t call him?

 And much, much more!

Visit the website Calling Men at http://deservewhatyouwant.com/callingmen

for complete details and you’ll always know exactly how to handle phone
calls, email, letters, and text messages with the men you date!