tba.

*
* to be a n n o u n c ed ...

Students’ Event Guide

& Literary Journal
University of Hamburg
C ategories
weblinks T able of C ontents
university life 3 Soli PartY
film/cinema 4 tba Goes CommerciaL
Feeling atomized? In this edition of tba, we’ve found
readings 5 Centro socialE some places where you can feel a
market 5 Book BazaR A metropolis like Hamburg is part of the larger community in
composed of many different ele- which you live. Places like Centro
music 6 Uebel & GefaehrlicH ments, not least the people who Sociale and Café Knallhart offer
locations 6 Preview: Cold War KidS @ ue&g are the lifeblood of any city. We us valuable free spaces in which to
are thrown together, coming from meet, to realise dreams, to drink
theatre 7 Altonaer TheateR
countries as foreign as Palestine, beer and to get to know people
creative corner 8 Café KnallharT Turkey, China and Bavaria. Too who’d otherwise
often we live side by side, running be strangers.
8 Knallhart IndykinO
imprint parallel lives that only interact Of course, all of the places and
9 www.stereomood.com along predictable social, political events we’ve written about this
and cultural lines. month offer wonderful opportuni-
9 HappyKappy Cupcakes
I’m also a blow in to Hamburg, and ties to get out there, experience the
10 KnusT - The Upper Crust I hark from a country where people city and meet like-minded folk. So
10 Preview: FeedeR @ Knust still know their neighbours… we if you’re aspiring to be Feeder’s
may hate them, we may complain next drummer, a renowned writer
11 AzeitonA - The golden olive
about them, but they’re usually or actor, ethical-film-consumer,
11 Exhibitions @azeitona happy to loan you some precious book-collector or olive-eater, read
teabags and milk in emergency on and feast your eyes on our best
12 Being the cuP
situations. ever edition.
15 Short cutS You are welcome to join the tba-team with your spirit and knowledge,
whatever it may be! Meet us every Wednesday, 6 pm at the Anglarium
16 The tba-familY (Phil-Turm, 1st floor, room 171) or mail to: office@tbajournal.com
S oli part Y - D ance for a good c aus E
“ Without paying an entrance fee, you can celebrate the end of the
When? Fri, 04 February, 9pm semester with very cheap drinks AND support a good cause. ”
Susi, member of organizations team
Where? Café Knallhart, VMP9

How much? Free entry, Cocktails 3€, Beer 1€

Did you ever dance the night away and simultaneously feel
that you were missing something? The FSRs of Anthropology,
Romance Studies and Latin American Studies of Hamburg
University are now hosting an event that offers the double
pleasure of having a blast at a party and, by doing so, donat-
ing money to three exceptional charities. Mujeres sin fronteras
is an intercultural women’s organization that fights for the
decriminalization of migrants and for refugee rights. Med-
ibüro has been providing medical services for refugees re-
gardless of their residence permit status since 1996. And
bambúProject organizes for German students to work with
street kids from Ecuador in art workshops that help to raise
everybody’s awareness regarding protection of their envi-
ronment. Sometimes, even as we forget our own worries,
we remember how important it is to stand up for people who rarely have the luxury to
go dancing. So salve your conscience and go wild at Café Knallhart this Friday. If you’d like to get
involved with one of the projects after you’ve recovered from your hangover, you can learn more @:

Mujeres sin Fronteras - webpage //

Medibüro - webpage // bambúProject - webpage

J.T.

3
 tba Goes
CommerciaL

4
 Centro SocialE - Know thy neighbouR B ook B azaar S ocial E
Where? Sternstr. 2 (U3 Feldstr.) When? Every Saturday, 10am - 5pm
Read more here: Centro Sociale webpage Where? Centro Sociale

How much? - free -

Community space for everyone in our beloved Schanzenvier-
tel – this sounds like a dream. The Centro Sociale represents
Guide books, novels, crime stories, books on history and poli-
a counter movement to the general creep of gentrification and
tics - they are usually expensive and you need time to buy and
makes the dream a reality. They have 500 m2 of space for those
read them. As a student you are often short of both time and
who have dreams but no space in which to realise
money. Imagine what it would be like to get books
them. Space where you can get to know your neigh-
like these for free, and all you have to do is to rum-
bourhood, space where you can enjoy readings, sem-
mage through whole boxes and heaps of them on a
inars, concerts and exhibitions for free or for a small
Saturday afternoon, having a cup of coffee or Club
entrance fee, space where you can get help and help
Mate while you pause.
others, space where you can contribute your own
Utopian? No, sociale! At the Centro Sociale the book
ideas and put them into practise. Every day offers
bazar offers you every type of book imaginable and
something different – life on 500 m2.
you can take as many as you can carry – in exchange
for a small donation. You can contribute anything
V.S.
that might be useful – money, coffee, toilet paper,
felt-tip pens... and you support a voluntary project
according to your personal possibilities. In fact, what better
way to get to know the Centro than by volunteering a few
hours of your time each Saturday.

V.S.

5
U ebel & G efährlic H - C it y -H ideout
Where? Feldstr. 66 (Bunker)
(U3 Feldstr)
Read more: www.uebelundgefaehrlich.com
Upon scrambling out of the U-Feldstraße catacombs, you are in-
stantly surrounded by some of the most recognisable symbols of
Hamburg: the Millerntor, the Dom, and the grey chunk that is
the Bunker. If you are still hoarse from the last St. Pauli game, it
is quite possible that you would like to flee the masses of scream-
ing teenagers. So, turn right and find your way up to the fourth
floor of the Bunker, the realm of Uebel & Gefährlich (there is a
liftboy to make sure that you don’t get lost). After another year
full of concerts, readings, poetry slam, electro parties and music
styles whose labels are most mysterious, Uebel & Gefährlich
starts the next round. This is the perfect moment for you to be-
come a part of it, to get to
know new bands, to learn
something about the end
of the world from Bela B.
(reading, 14.03.11), and
maybe even to find one of
your “new yous” for 2011.
I.W.
P review : C old W ar K ids @ Ue & G
According to lastfm, I have seen 30 bands since moving to Ham-
burg in 2007. I have probably seen more, but those 30 concerts
were planned, ticking that little “I’m going” box, buying tick-
ets, being insanely happy at the show itself and stealing posters
from the venue afterwards. From all of those concerts there are
only a handful of shows I
am still truly amazed by,
even after two years. One
of them was in 2008, when
the Cold War Kids played
at Knust; a band that is not
known for striking every
note top-notch, but they
are famed for being as en-
ergetic as a Duracell bunny,
having songs that are madly catchy and not having a single dull
moment when they’re on stage. There’s dancing, playing, spit-
ting, drinking, screaming, hitting the piano and being brilliantly
fantastic. They are coming back to Hamburg in February. I have
already ticked that box and bought my tickets.
Get-to-know-the-band-with-these-songs: S.R.
• I don’t wanna grow up (acoustic at the district)
• Hospital Beds (for free at Daytrotter)
• Something is not right with me (Loyalty to Loyalty)
• Hang me up to dry (Robbers & Cowards)
6
 Altonaer Theater
Where? Museumsstr. 17
(S Altona)
Read more: www.altonaertheater.de
Altonaer Theater is not only a theatre but also a classy place to
read literature, drink some cocktails, have a small dinner or even
meet the cast after the show! But of course, most of all you can
enjoy a broad variety of performances. Classical or modern plays,
critical or amusing, the program changes often and so there are
always different pieces to satisfy the broadest of tastes. Our rec-
ommendation: Tadellöser & Wolff by Walter Kempowski.
In a humorous way it describes how ordinary people had
to deal with Nazi-Germany and the upcoming depriva-
tions of World War II. Kempowski himself was deeply in-
fluenced by WW II and one of the most famous German
authors of the second half of the 20th century. One of his
most important works is the book series Das Echolot. It is
a collage of diaries, letters and autobiographical notes that
were written in the time of the World War. He collected
them by putting adverts in the newspaper Die Zeit where
he asked the readers to send him all kinds of biographical
notes of this time. The play Tadellöser & Wolff is written
from the perspective of the young Kempowski, so it is at
least partly autobiographical. So drop by and enjoy this
masterly piece of literature and discover just how fortunate we
are to have our Altonaer Theater.
O.S.
7
C afé K nallhar T - these are our da ys KnallharT IndykinO
Where? VMP9 When? Tuesdays from 7.30pm
How much? Coffee 0.60€ // Club Mate 1.50€ Where? Café Knallhart
Read more: www.knallhart.blogsport.de
You are bored of film nights that only adhere to leaning back,
eating popcorn and getting lulled by some fairytale invented
If you ask your parents, studying 20 years ago
by “Hollywood’s finest”, to show you just what
was completely different from today – leading
went wrong in your imperfect life? May we
a true student’s life meant squatting, fighting
suggest an exhilaratingly different cinema to
for your rights and a more easy-going everyday
you: Indykino at Café Knallhart. The films and
life than today. This is the era in which Café
documentaries shown on Tuesday evenings here
Knallhart has its roots. Luckily, there are some
are unpolished, they show what went wrong in
idealistic and dedicated people who saved the
other people’s lives and tell stories about human
Café, the values it stands for and some of the
mistakes as well as stories about people who
old student habits in these blue B.A. days. Just
take chances, who stand up for their beliefs and
like in the 1980s, when seminar room S27 was
act against all odds. The only thing you have to
squatted and turned into the Café, everybody
do is visit the Café on a Tuesday evening, pur-
can take a time out here, drink fair trade coffee,
chase an ecologically worthwhile movie snack,
relax with a vegan snack or visit and take part
flop down on a sofa and watch one of these
in numerous activities. You could watch a movie
films – for free.
you might never come across in a cinema for
free, take a shift behind the counter, do some-
V.S.
thing to protect animals from abuse, meet new
people or realise your own project. You can take
part and be a part of Café Knallhart. “Café Knallhart is my second home, a second living room and a refuge. It
has everything you need: table football, nice people to chat with and sofas.”
V.S. Jackie, taking shifts at the Café

8
www .S tereomoo D. com - feelin ’ brave ?
How are you feeling today?
Funky? Sexy? Like crying?
Lost in Jamaica? Are you do-
ing your Spring cleaning? Get-
ting dressed for a party? Work-
ing like a bee? What if there
was a place online that could
spare you the tedious playlist-
making and waiting for the
one song that fits your mood like the proverbial top hat? Rejoice,
this place exists @ stereomood.com. The site is the project of a
bunch of Italian buddies who eventually got tired of each other’s
taste in music. You just choose your mood or current activity and
the appallingly useful website offers you a playlist of up to 1,000
songs to listen to for free. Could there possibly be a better way
to musically underline your road trip or tango lesson and find
out about eclectic new artists that you might never have discov-
ered otherwise. (Even more interesting is the love making play-
list, since it can be more than baffling what some people regard
as appropriate sex-songs.) However, a warning should be voiced
for those who were hoping for some Seal, Sting or Slayer, no,
you will not encounter these gentlemen here, the mix consists
of non-mainstream, remixed, re-(dis)covered classics and some
rather otherworldly tunes. The author’s personal recommenda-
tion: Hit the psychedelic playlist and lose some days.
J.T.
9
H appy K appy C upc ake S
Where? Eppendorfer Weg 99 (U3 Eppendorfer Baum)
Read more: www.kaeppchenkuchen.net
Imagine a chocolate cupcake with a delicious Oreo-Cookie-Filling,
topped with a tongue-beguiling Chocolate-Fudge-Frosting. Or, if
you’re just not the chocolate-kind-of guy or -girl, what about a rav-
ishing Raspberry-Filling and Cream-Cheese-Frosting? Would you
prefer a Pink-Vanilla-Frosting?
There is only one bakery in Hamburg so heavenly equipped to
offer these delights: Happykappy Cupcakes (Eppendorfer Weg
99). Behind a pink counter, a man whose familiy has developed
their cupcake recipes for more than three generations will wel-
come and introduce you to his very own cupcake-kingdom. His
family is originally from Austria but time has
carried them through the world. That is why
he speaks German with a charming foreign
accent. You get two cupcakes for a fiver in a
white packaging. If you’re willing to spend
an additional two euros, you will be treated
with a much more exciting, yet also more
pinkish, packaging, which would be a great
thing to show up at a birthday party with.
Hamburg’s cupcake heaven is open Tuesdays
to Saturdays from 10am to 7pm and Sundays
from 10 am to 6pm.
P. H.
 K nus T - T he U pper C rust F eede R @ K nus T
Where? Neuer Kamp 30 (U3 Feldstr) How does a band go on if one of
their members commits suicide?
How much? Beer: 3.70 €
Feeder, whose album Polythene was
Read more: www.knusthamburg.de voted Kerrang’s! best album of the
year in 1997, wandered this woeful
Knust has it all. A prime location in one of the old Schlachthal-
wasteland. After the death of their
len buildings right next to U-Feldstraße located between the
drummer in 2002, the remainder
Schanze and St. Pauli. It is not only a perfectly sized club (just
of the band around Grant Nicho-
small enough to be intimate, big enough to rock) that has been
las stayed out of the public eye for
the home to now more widely acknowledged artists like Gis-
over a year working their way through the mess that was their
bert zu Knypphausen, Art Brut and Talco (and even the then-
feelings. What sprang from this was Comfort in Sound, which
unknown R.E.M. in the 70s). It also shows all St. Pauli Games
turned out to be more mellowly melodic, including a string or-
live on the big screen and has an amazingly homely little bar. On
chestra and piano tunes. After the three following albums Pushing
their website they even have their own series of features about
the Senses, The Singles and Silent Cry and the departure of then-
artists and events called Knust TV. The club’s history goes back
drummer Mark Richardson, Feeder started touring as their side
to the mid-70s and the name is Hamburg dialect for the crust
project Renegades which is also the title of their seventh studio
on the ends of a loaf of bread: “…the most delicious part of the
album. Feeder is back. A new album for 2011 under the title of
bread, always hard, but also
Chronic Dysfunction is already in the making and the band is tour-
fair (because there are two of
ing Europe with their seventh album. Their style cannot really
them?)”
be classified but would range somewhere between post-
Get-to-know-the-band-with-these-songs: grunge, alternative and indie rock with some very agree-
• Buck Rogers (Echo Park)
able pop titles. Scream your lungs out to the otherwise
• Comfort in Sound (The Singles)
• Come Back around (The Singles) fast-paced, emotional and energetic songs. It would be
• Renegades (Renegades) a venal sin to miss one of the not-so-underground-any-
• Piece by Piece (Echo Park) more-indie-legends of the early 2000s. So, pack your
not-so-teenage angst and slouch on into the Knust.
J.T.
10
AzeitonA - Hamburg’s Golden Olive Exhibitions @ Azeitona - Watch this Space
Where? Beckstr. 17 (U3 Feldstr) In a similar vein to Centro Sociale, Azeitona offers anyone with an
idea and a bit of talent the opportunity to stage a small acoustic gig
Hamburg has many pearls, but only one golden olive. Azeitona is so or an exhibition. Local musicians have a tendency to drop by late in
well hidden that you could spend your whole life drifting between the evening, and Fariz has even been known to sing along when the
Sternschanze & Karoviertel, never knowing that this vegetarian par- kitchen calms down.
adise even exists. Run by Fariz, one of the warmest proprietors in all The restaurant could never be mistaken for a gallery, but from per-
of Hamburg, the restaurant is incredible value and has a unique and sonal experience, it’s the type of place to get your art recognised, and
lively atmosphere. As I write this on a Monday evening, the place is the restaurant is always happy to host triumphal Vernissages.
buzzing with young and old, German and foreigner, vegetarian herb So, this one goes out to all you budding artists…there are some bare
and carnivore alike. walls just waiting to be covered by your work. Watch this Space.
But Azeitona doesn’t just offer its customers Hamburg’s best falafel
and Arabian food…this intimate location also functions as a live M.L.T.
music venue from time to time. There is a hidden little corner re-
served for those who like to take their shoes off and sit huddled up
together around a candle, consuming delicious delicacies and hiding “Hamburg is my home, and Azeitona is my Heimat”
from the Winter elements. You can tell from every little detail that
Fariz: Owner of Azeitona, born in Palestine,
the entire restaurant is run with love, and I’ve yet to meet anyone
Hamburger since 1982.
who hasn’t felt instantly comfortable in the relaxed surroundings.
ls
A small note from Falafe
M.L.T. our sponsors:
e R n all Feb).
c h er o 2 1
Vou cial off 21 Jan – pecial.
tas
pe y( or a
s
tba tips:
g e S unda 0 f
and .5
Falafel Spezial: 3.- €
s off t h each l and 2
i e
Empanada Teller 6.50 € t th ire mon r Falaf
Limette-Zitronen Limonade Prin ent gul
a
an a r e
(frisch gepresst): 2.80 € for 0 fo
r
1 . 9
Pay
11
 Short Story - Being the Cup
I walk into the cafe and it’s the usual procedure: I’m looking for
the table furthest away from the doors, the loos, the people and the
light. I’m ordering a coffee, “in that reddish cup, please.”
And then I sit there.
With my coffee.
And the cup.
The cup doesn’t look right. It’s slightly chipped at
the rim, and the colour is almost gone from years
of machine-washing. It was this cup from which
I first tasted the coffee in this cafe, almost three
years ago. I’ve always had this one, it’s basically
mine and I like the thought of me being responsi-
ble for the faded colour and the chipped rim.
Not actually red, the cup, more of a dirty rosé.
Pastel-colour. It doesn’t match with the coffee
inside. Cups and content should match though,
shouldn’t they? (an initial-letter rule, maybe, but
then again you wouldn’t find a fitting bed to the breakfast in a bed
and breakfast, would you?)
How to drink when this colour-clashing composition of cup and
coffee comes closer and closer to your face as you raise it to your
mouth to take a sip. Maybe that’s why my coffee is already cold.
But maybe it is because I’ve been thinking about coloured cups.
My coffee is light brown. Just a tiny bit of coffee, half the cup’s
worth milk and then three heaped spoons of sugar. I’m going to
12
die; all my arteries filled with sticky sugar.
The coffee tastes awful.
I should be somewhere else.
At university probably, writing the story my professor has been
waiting for forever. But he won’t like it anyway, we’re all a huge
disappointment to him; no next Chekhov or Dostoevsky, neither
Twain nor Yeats, not even a Wilde or an Austen. We’re all students
who missed that one moment right after school, where you realize
what you’re meant to be doing with your life. And now
we’re all stranded in this creative writing class. Some of us
with the eager ambition to make it big, become the great-
est writers of our time (not me, I think gladly, I won’t have
to deal with the sour feeling of not living up to my dreams
later), others doing this for fun, for the ecstatic feeling of
being a student, partying all the time, doing drugs, drink-
ing red wine while talking nonsense about sociology and
sleeping with as many people as possible (not me either, I
don’t have fun being this, and I prefer white wine anyway);
and then there are those who just tag along, who do this
because it seemed strangely right but don’t really care (yep,
that’s me).
I am writing a detective story, and everyday I add a few chapters
before erasing them again.
Writer’s block, you’d call it, if I were a writer.
Detective Gordon raised the pint to his mouth. It was a cold and
rainy day, typical for the north and David Gordon, private detective,
former police off icer and a total loser according to his ex-wife was not
in his best mood.
He sighed; something was missing, he was missing this one last piece
of the puzzle that would answer all remaining questions. Earlier
that day he had been f ishing a dead girl from the dirty waters of the
river Tweed and now he was sitting here in that old pub close to the
crime scene, waiting for a call. “ You want another one?” Mike, the
barman, asked. He was American and came to Scotland a few years
ago to reexperience his family´s roots. “Cheers, I gotta head back to
the off ice. Say hello so Missy for me, will ye?”, he said and left. On
the way to his apartment, which also served as his off ice, he had
that weird sensation, feeling that he was being followed. He start-
ed walking a bit faster. His movements became more hasty and his
breath irregular. When he came to a corner he halted abruptly, turn-
ing around, his eyes wide open in both fear and exhilaration.
His breathing steadied when he saw a stray cat slowly crawling
away. Being at the harbour all morning wading through the putrid
water must´ve had some effect on his odour.
As he walked up the steep stairs to his off ice/apartment his phone
rang.
“Gordon”, “Hello David, I got the results you were asking for. The
autopsy showed that the girl must´ve been dead at least 24 hours
before you found her. No alcohol, no drugs, no violence as far as I
can see. Quite unusual for someone to just fall into water and drown
without anybody noticing, you know. We`re doing a few more tests
here, so maybe we´ll f ind something, but to me this seems to be no
crime, but a tragic accident.”, “Thank you Gray, give me a ring as
13
soon as you’ll f ind anything else, will you?” ,“Sure do. I take it you
think this to be more than an accident?”, “I dunno yet. I got that feel-
ing that we’re missing something, anyway, nothing to be sure yet.
Talk to you in a bit.”, “Later, David.”
Gordon fell into his chair. He could have sworn this was something
big, something out of the ordinary. But maybe that was just him
watching too much CSI.
I am stuck. Stuck in my own story. Nothing ever happens and my
protagonists have lost all ambitions.
As I take another face-distorting sip from my sickly sweet coffee,
Clarice enters the scene and the cafe.
She is wearing her usual onionish layer-composition of various
coloured shawls, shirts, skirts and loosely dangling cloths to keep
the warmth all to herself. Her hair is cut short and her face is the
image of gloominess, apart from her gothic appearance, the de-
pressing chitchats and her bad taste in music she is rather amiable,
dinky as she’d call it.
“Coffeeeeee” she begs when she sits down next to me on one of
the battered flea market couches. “So I take it you finished your
story?”, I ask, feigning interest. Her story is something combining
the language of Lovecraft with the other-worldliness of Tolkien
and the length of the Bible.
Prince Kalaghhig took his faithful horse and abandoned his past
forever. He was leaving behind his home, the castle of Hhoulky, his
family and true companions to f ind his luck in the far away world
of Pshaszza where he was expecting to f ind the powers to rid his folk
from the evil forces of the eastern Grodons. “Fare well thee, oh dearest
friends. And pray for me, for your hopes shall accompany me on my
rapturous adventure and save me from the brutal beasts of disbelief
roaring inside my chest.”

“I have thought of a few more obstacles Kalaghhig has to over-

come, so I’ll have to write additional chapters”, Clarice says while
pouring a huge amount of cinnamon into her coffee that would
surely get her delusional again.
I’m returning to my thoughts as Clarice is slowly getting lost in her
story, becoming Kalaghhig`s princess and dropping out of reality,
caught in a cinnamon cloud wobbling and billowing around her
head.
Maybe I should watch more CSI to get some real crimes for Gor-
don to solve.
For anyone else all this would seem pathetic. It is nothing spec-
tacular, it is more than ordinary, boring even. I am going nowhere,
stuck here, in this cafe, in my story, in my life. But for me, it is just
that cup of coffee.

S.R.

14
 S hort cut S - some beautiful af terthoughts

If we had a staff of 50 and the ressources

of DER SPIEGEL, these are some of
the events we would have covered
in more detail...

What? POETRY SLAM

Where? Zeisehallen, Friedensallee 9, Ottensen
When? 04 February
Free? Yes

What? HAM.LIT - Lange Nacht junger Musik und Literatur

Where? Uebel & Gefährlich
When? 03 February
Free? No: 12/16€
read more: www.hamlit.de

15
Imprint - The TBA-family

editor-in-chief p.p. Marc-Liam Toolan

Susan Reichelt, Tobias Steiner,

sub-editors
Julia Tegtmeyer

Hamann Paul (page 8)

Reichelt Susan (p. 5, 11-13)
Spyth Olivia (page 6)
authors Struckmann Vera (p. 4, 7)
Tegtmeyer Julia (p. 8,9)
Toolan Marc-Liam (page 10)
Wiegert Isabella (page 5)

Olivia Spyth, Vera Struckmann,

photography Susan Reichelt, Sarah Kaufmann
Julia Tegtmeyer

layout Tobias Steiner

tba - to be announced
2011, all rights
copyright Students’ Event Guide
reserved & Literary Journal
University of Hamburg