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INFLUENCING

THROUGH
LANGUAGE
i

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Content

I- Introduction
1) How does the unconscious work ?
2) The 6 Key Principles of Influence
A- Think in terms of states
B- Use everything you can to get results
C- Know your Outcome
D- Go from the least intrusive to the most intrusive
E- Never ever resist, instead: accept and redirect
F- Communicate with the unconscious, it is the boss
II- Vocabulary
1) Vague Language
A- Omissions
B- Modal Operators
C- Universal Quantifiers
D- Nominalizations
2) Linguistic Presuppositions
A- Awareness Verbs
B- Modal Operators
C- Adjectives and Adverbs
E- Verbs and adverbs for time change
F- Quantifiers
G- Comparisons
H- Ordinal numbers
I- Negations
III- Sentence Structure
1) Cause and effect links
A- Coordination conjunctions
B- Temporal links
C- Words literally implying causality
2) Embedded Commands
3) Quotes
4) Questions
A- Double Binds
B- Conservational Postulates
C- Embedded Questions
D- Question tag
E- Rhetorical Questions
5) Post Hypnotic Suggestions
6) Escalate the Yes-Ladder (Pacing and Leading)
A- Introduction
B- How to Pace Someone ?

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I- Introduction

When trying to convince or influence somebody, using direct verbal confrontation may be the
least effective way to succeed. It is often more useful to use indirect language, in order to "caress"
someone's mind and then bypass his resistance, rather than confronting them brutally.
I often say that when someone has an opinion, that opinion is like porcelain, if you press a little
too hard, you break, and if you break, nothing good will come out of it. So, confronting someone directly
with "you're wrong, I'm right..." Etc. is in my opinion ineffective.

1) How does the unconscious work ?

People are simply hypnosis machines. Any process that involves going inside your mind for finding
an answer, or even understanding the meaning of a sentence, is a hypnotic process by itself. Everything
that happens outside the field of consciousness is going through some sort hypnotic process. Or more
simply, every time there is a thought in your head, there is some hypnotic phenomena going on.
People are used to resisting logical arguments that go against their opinion, but they are not used to
having their mental processes and the direction of their thoughts guided and redirected. Therefore, they
have much more difficulty to resist it.

Every human mind has a critical factor, the reasons why "we shouldn't do this or that", "Why
would something work or not" etc. The advantage of communicating directly with the unconscious is it
overrides this critical factor. Anything that is imagined by your own head, will be perceived by your
unconscious as your own thoughts. Therefore, it will be less likely to be resisted.
The unconscious does not differentiate between what is just imagined and a real lived event. We know
that this is true because when people visualize themselves accomplishing some sort of physical
performance, they activate the same muscle groups as if they were actually performing it in real life.
When you describe things to people using a description rich in terms of sounds, images and sensations,
they will experience it in their heads as if they were there. When you say: "to feel fascinated by this face,
to let the tension go, to listen to the resonance of this voice, etc.” These are directions, you tell them what
to do in their head, even if you’re just describing your own experience or talking about somebody else.

Anything that is presented to a person as reasons, facts or information that is perceived as not
coming from them, will be easily resisted. Therefore, to persuade, one must first capture and guide the
person's imagination. Therein lies the idea of unconscious influence.

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The conscious mind deals with logical facts, the content of what it hears in your sentences, and can only
focus on one task at a time. Most people seek to convince only the conscious mind, for example by going
through logical statements (“You should do this because you owe it to me”). But the conscious mind is not
in control, it is only the assistant who guards the boss’s office door. As long as the boss refuses to trust
you, the assistant will have a hard time helping you.

The unconscious handles most of your life, it handles your breathing, the necessary neural
connections so that your words automatically form coherent sentences, keep you safe from danger etc. To
communicate with him (the unconscious), you must understand that he is multitasking and he always
understands information on several layers and levels. If you tell that your grandfather always told you:
"Read this text carefully, it it will help you", for sure the sentence was not intended for you directly but on
another level the unconscious will act as if it was for you because he needed to "live", to “experience” the
sentence in order to understand its meaning.
- He also reacts a lot to symbols and relativity (“Is what he tells me similar to something I already know ?
Because if I already know it, I feel safer”). Hence the interest of speaking with a cause-and-effect language
"Since you are here reading this, you can already start using your unconscious in a more profitable way".
- He doesn’t understand what time “is”, whether you are talking about an event that happened last week
or an event that will happen in 10 years, the unconscious will experience it as if it were now, because he
needs to "experience" the information in order to understand it.
- He is very sensitive to suggestions and does not understand negation, all sentences that are described
with vague terms where sensory language needs to be "experienced" to be understood.
- Moreover, he is very sensitive to variations, because to ensure our survival, the unconscious needs to
record deeply all the details that are out of the ordinary. So, a sentence pronounced in a tone of voice
different from the rest of the conversation will easily implant itself into your subject’s head.

2) The 6 Key Principles of Influence

A- Think in terms of states

All your decisions are made based on the state you’re experiencing while taking it. And paradoxically,
states do not exist as such, they are only processes. Your hand exists, the chair exists, the floor exists but
the states do not exist. States are processes. We know that a process is something that has a beginning,
middle and ends somewhere through a given moment.
Love, trust, boredom, envy, "alchemy" between two people. All these things don't exist.
These are only cognitive and physiological processes, which occur within the mind and body. As a result,
they can be provoked at will. Any condition that a person has already experienced once in their life (or
even seen on television) can be revoked.
Decisions are made within states (which do not exist). Decisions are made within a state (within a given
time). Therefore, change the state and you change the decision. Change the state and you change the

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limitation. Change the state and you change the behavior. Moreover, a state is not necessarily an emotion,
it can be a simple sequence of specific actions, or a certain context.

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When you want to influence somebody, think about the state they need to be into so that the direction
you want them to take is the natural response they would take.

B- Use everything you can to get results

In order to induce a state in somebody, you have to experience that state yourself first. It means
that if you want someone to feel excited, immerse yourself in a feeling of excitement first. This way, you
will lead them into excitement too. If you synchronize yourself with the person, get a good relationship
with them, and then plunge into a specific state or hypnotic trance, they will follow you. This reduces the
amount of work required. If you're not experiencing the state yourself, they're not going to go there
either.
The, use everything at your disposal to create this state in your interlocutor. The most important Is HOW
you say it. Your body, your voice, how you move, how you use your voice, the expression on your face,
how you use physical space, how you speak, the words you use - all of that ! You can describe any state or
concept. But If your voice tonality and body do not support the words you say, the person will not
experience the state. Your language, voice and body must be 100% consistent.
They are instruments, play them like a skilled musician.

C- Know your Outcome

Know your outcome, develop your sensory acuity, determine if what you are doing is working or
not and adjust your behavior accordingly. Your outcome is your reason for communicating. Always
determine what you want before the communication starts. You will never enter a situation where
influence is required without first knowing what is the purpose of your influence, what is your outcome.
The very reason for communicating is that it is supposed to bring a result. Therefore, the result you get is
the purpose of your communication if you have not defined it in the beginning. Among the most common
examples: Make someone do something, take a particular action, change their point of view, agree with
you.

D- Go from the least intrusive to the most intrusive

This is why permissive language is often used. The very reason for using language techniques is to
be able to take any notion and soften it until the person cannot resist it anymore. You can basically suggest
anything to anyone in a way that seems totally irresistible to them. If the person resists, fill in your
sentences with "if" and conditional verbs, it lowers the resistance:
"I'd like to tell you something, but I don't know if you're going to like it..."
"I would really like to understand better, so, would you mind if I asked you…"
"I always found it more interesting to know the somebody for who she really is than to ask the same
superficial questions, so if I had to ask you…"

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E- Never, never resist, instead: accept and redirect

Do not try to stop or resist anything you are offered during a discussion. Don't try to predict it.
Instead, use it and redirect it. If the person does not respond in the way you expected, repeat what he or
she replied and use it make a link with what you want to achieve.

F- Communicate with the unconscious, it is the boss

Rather than making logical arguments, have the person imagine what they would do if they were
already agreeing with you. Always speak as if what you want is currently happening or has already
happened anyway. Because as long as the unconscious imagines it, the body and mind respond as if it was
true.

II- The Vocabulary

1) Vague Language

Being vague means omitting specific details. The more vague you are, the more your interlocutor
will have to complete what you say with his own internal representations, which implies reducing his
possible resistance (because he understands the sentences you tell him with his own internal
representations) and passing into a light state of trance, because there is too much information to process
at the same time for the conscious to handle it alone.
Every experience in the world has occurred with a subject interacting with something in a specific place, at
a specific time under specific conditions. By removing all these “specific” details, we transform the specific
language into vague language.

Example:

Very specific >>>> Marc and Sandra drove down the hill at full speed yesterday, by this shiny
summer’s afternoon
A little bit specific >>> Marc and Sandra cycled yesterday on the hill
A little bit general >> They spent the day together yesterday
Very general > Something happened yesterday

Overall, to use a vague language you need to:

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➢ Remove the VAKOG: How can I describe this without using sensory specific details ?
➢ Remove the reference indexes: Which specification (who, what, where, with whom, when, etc)
can I omit ?
➢ Add a maximum of nominalizations: What more general term can describe what I am saying ?
(chess and checkers are just games; judo and karate are just sports…)

A- Omissions:

Omissions have trait to sentences where all the "who" and "what" are omitted. For instance, in the
sentence "I am sure many people feel safe after receiving this information", the person who is actually
doing or receiving the action is not specified. In the following examples, if the questions in brackets can be
asked, it means that specific information has been omitted.

Unspecified nouns :

➢ People... (Who exactly ? Who are these people ? Why is their opinion so important ?)
➢ Some people... (Who? Who are we talking about? Who are these people?)
➢ This work, this adventure... (What exactly? which one? which one of these?)
➢ The children... (Which ones?)

Lost origins:

➢ One of the things we know... (Who knows that?)


➢ It's true, we can learn everything... (Who said it was true? Who can learn everything?)
➢ It's a good thing that... (It's a good thing for whom? What's a good thing?)
➢ It's possible that... (Who decided it was possible?)

Passive form :
➢ It has been proven that... (Proved by whom?)
➢ People have been convinced that... (Convinced by whom? In what way?)
➢ An opinion can easily be changed... (Which opinion? Changed by whom or by what?)

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All these questions must necessarily be answered by the unconscious for the sentence to make sense in
your head. And at the moment you hear them, your unconscious can only find answers through what it
already knows. So by using omissions, once again we use what is already in the head of the interlocutor to
convince him. This contributes to reduce his potential resistance. Because your sentences will be too
vague to use any information that is not already in his head. And why would he resist something that is
already lying there anyway ?

B- Modal Operators

Possibility: Can, Possible, Have to, Get to, Allow, Decide, Choose, Try, Pretend
Necessity: Must, Necessity, Obligation, Need to

They allow you to restrict the model of the world of your interlocutor to the direction you want him to
take.

➢ "Of course, it is possible to master this language in a short amount of time"


➢ "Just reading this document could help you to learn faster than you think."
➢ "It is necessary to accept that any learning can be done unconsciously"

C- Universal Quantifiers

All of them, Every, Always, None, Never, Any,

This is when an example is taken as the static representation of a much larger number of choices. They
serve to limit the internal representations of the interlocutor to force him to unconsciously take the
direction you want him to take.

➢ "All the people who have learned this language before you have found universal quantifiers very
useful" (direction: I want you to find the universal quantifiers useful)
➢ "There is no way to fail that doesn’t also allow you to get up and succeed later” (Direction: I want
you to accept that even if you fail at first, you will succeed at some point)

D- Nominalizations

These are words that replace a noun in a sentence, but are not tangible, so you cannot see or feel
them. Words such as curiosity, hypnosis, knowledge, trust, love, training, pride etc. are all nominalizations.

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They are certainly used as nouns; but they are actually words that relate to processes, instead of tangible
things.
Every time a nominalization is used, a mass of information is omitted. When I say, for example,
"Self-confidence makes success possible", I fail to specify in which specific area this self-confidence applies
(work, sport, self-esteem, etc.), and how the person concerned can actually start to feel confident.
Nominalizations can be very effective because they allow the speaker to be vague, they omit so
much specific content that to understand them, you must fill them with information that makes sense to
you. This reduces the resistance of your interlocutor, because you use their own inner world again to
convince them.

Transform the specific in general through nominalizations:

➢ Specific:
We hope to attract a large number of visitors to our website. Because if we can attract a large number, and
they belong to a good demographic, that is, if they have a high income and spend it, then maybe we can
sell a lot of products at high prices, and maybe even create partnership with other websites that don't
make enough money either. And maybe it'll work so well that we'll be bought by a higher company.

➢ General:
We have a next-generation strategy to exploit emerging opportunities and market imbalances. A
strategy that uses synergy and collaboration as a means of directing the most powerful resources
available towards our vision.

When we know very well the outcome of our communication. And what is our purpose while influencing
such or such person, then we can start looking for all the possible nominalizations related to our subject.
One of the examples that everyone knows very well is the traditional hypnotic induction:

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"When you start to listen to hypnosis, you may realize that the abundance of words and the amount of
abstract concepts that are evoked is creating an overload. It is at this moment that the conscious mind
drops and the unconscious mind takes over to allow changes and transformations that will last over time
by creating new skills.

2) Linguistic Presuppositions

Presuppositions are anything that needs to be true for the sentence to make sense. They are
suggestions that are unconsciously suggested rather than deliberately asserted. They are the core of
persuasive language. Each presupposition is a suggestion in itself. One of the basic principles of hypnosis is
that one or two suggestions alone are unlikely to have an impact, but 50, 100 or 150 suggestions are likely
to have a powerful impact. So by stacking the presuppositions in the same sentence, we considerably
increase the possibility that the persuasive message will be accepted as true, whatever it may be. Because
there will be too many suggestions in the same sentence to be able to contradict them all at once.
Whenever we communicate, we use presuppositions that we assume to be true. Each sentence
you pronounce during your day contains presuppositions. In most cases, this goes unnoticed because we
focus only on the overall meaning of the message. As a result, presuppositions are almost always
unconsciously accepted, and your interlocutor will act as if they were true. Most of the Milton Model's
language techniques contain presuppositions anyway.

A- Awareness Verbs

Know, realize, believe, imagine, surprise, discover, think, focus, live, become aware, find yourself at,
remember, find, understand

These words are too vague to be understood directly, which implies the person who hears them will go
into a trance to check in his personal experience what they relate to, therefore he no longer cares about
the truthfulness of the message because his mental energy will be busy understanding the meaning.

➢ "If you could imagine being able to learn this language in two minutes what it would be like ?"
➢ "Have you ever realized how easy it is to change your mind?”

B- Transformational Verbs

Change, Transform, Become, Evolve, Grow, Strengthen, Vibrate, Expand, Spread, Deploy, Amplify, Increase,
Exceed, Intensify, Deepen, Fill, Develop, Double, Triple, Open, Palpitate, Rise

They allow you to choose the direction of the other person's thoughts or emotions regarding the thing you
want to persuade them about

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➢ "Even if, so far, you've been afraid of not understanding how to apply this language, I think now
you can change this fear into motivation, so that you can learn it quick"
➢ "When you have evolved to the next level, you will have realized that this language is already
strongly grounded in your brain."

➢ "I find it magical when the mastery of this language increases and amplifies as you practice it. »
➢ "Sometimes, when you practice these techniques a lot, the excitement you feel when using them
starts to double and intensify. As if just thinking about it could unleash all their power.

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C- Adjectives and Adverbs

Presupposing Automatism:
Intuitively, automatically, quickly, unconsciously, easily, naturally, involuntarily
Presupposing possibility:
Probably, possibly, generally, occasionally, at certain times, from time to time, sometimes, tendency to,
usually, in a way, somehow, perhaps
Presupposing absolute truth:
Totally, clearly, authentic, in reality, irrefutable, proven, really, certified, certainly, so much, only
Presupposing permanence:
Year after year, persistent, continuously, perpetual, constantly, constant, remaining, eternal, habitual
Presupposing… :
...

Basically, adjectives and commentary adverbs are used to indicate to your interlocutor how you want
him/her to feel about what you say

➢ "When you understand how this language is easily applicable, then you become unconsciously and
automatically able to use it. » (we want to convince that learning is easy and automatic)
➢ "Curiously, it is possible to use this language naturally and intuitively. Because of this, we can
become extraordinarily persuasive. »

D- Temporal Predicates

Before, after, when, sooner or later, As soon as

They make it possible to presuppose that the subject of your sentence will occur anyway, no matter what
the person thinks or says. But without saying it directly. Which implies that once again, the message goes
through unconsciously and can no longer be resisted.

➢ "In your opinion, how much time would you need before you can fully master this presupposition
technique In your everyday conversations?” (means it will happen anyway)
➢ "After you have mastered all these presuppositions, what do you think you will do with them? »
➢ "When you surprise yourself thinking about your future, what do you fantasize the most about? »

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E- Time changers

Start to, already, yet, continue, always, not anymore, no longer, stop, soon

They allow you to play with temporal representations. To make your interlocutor move across his
timeline. A patient in therapy who represents his problem as happening in the present feels pain, whereas
if he represents it as something that is already over, the amount of pain will be reduced.
In the same way, if you think about the day you’ll be rich as a very distant day in the future, you
will have very low motivation to work today, whereas if you represent your work as something that can
make you rich quickly, the motivation will come more easily. These verbs allow you to shift those
representations in the head of your listener. Make him think about his objection as something he was
thinking about a while ago. And make him think about something you want him to do, as if it was
happening today.

➢ "Once you start to use this language, you intuitively understand how you can increase your
persuasive power." (you shift his attention to use this language today, instead of in the future)
➢ "When you naturally trust your unconscious, you realize that having trouble learning this is no
longer a problem."
➢ "After you committed to go on practicing this language, you will easily understand the amazing
possibilities it can give you."
➢ "You may not yet allow yourself to use all the possibilities of this language. In fact, that would be
the only reason why you are not already one of the best in this field"

F- Quantifiers

Only, except, just, a lot, a little bit

As with universal quantifiers, simple quantifiers make it possible to limit the internal representations of the
interlocutor in order to guide him in the direction we want to lead him into

➢ "If you find it difficult to speak with this language fluently, without thinking, it's only because you
haven't yet found yourself in a situation where you really needed it" (breaking potential limiting beliefs
about learning fast)
➢ "There are many different ways to learn quantifiers, it's up to you to find the one that best suits
you"
➢ "There are very few situations in which this language is not of great use."

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G- Comparisons

The most, the least, the best, the worse, as much as, better, as well as, more than, less than

Among other things, they make it possible to create links between what is already there and the result you
want to see happening. Because once again, when you present to the brain something related to what it
already knows, then resistance lowers. Moreover, "the more" and "the less" are powerful omissions that
increase the receptivity of the interlocutor, because they are particularly vague.

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➢ "I intuitively understand that the greatest power of persuasion lies in this language."
➢ "When you unconsciously incorporate these language techniques in your life, you will realize that
they are as useful as they are natural."
➢ "A great teacher once told me that comparisons are among the best presuppositions that can
exist."

H- Ordinal numbers

First, second, last, among, another, one of the things, which one

They presuppose that there are necessarily several options. Which limits the belief “I won’t succeed” or
“It’s not possible”

➢ "Among these techniques, the first one you have to start learning is the one that seems the most
natural to you." (means at least one of them already feels very natural to you, even if you just learned it)
➢ "After the second or third attempt to master this language, I think you will be much more fluid
while using it. Don't you think ? » (means you are going to try anyway, even if you’re scared)
➢ "Usually, the first signal that you start to master this language is when you find yourself using it
unintentionally in a conversation." (means it will happen anyway, even if you think you’re not good
enough)

I- Negations

"You don't need to... It's not necessary to... It's a shame you can't / some people can't... You shouldn't... You
won't find yourself... Of course I don't expect you to... I won't tell you to...Maybe it's not interesting for you
but... You have the right not to...I won't recommend you to...."

The unconscious does not processes negation, so even if there is a "not" in the sentence, the suggestion
passes by as if it were given directly.

➢ "Of course I don't expect you to master all these techniques in the blink of an eye. » (makes you
think about mastering them quick anyway. You’re forced to make that representation in your mind, of
yourself succeeding, just to understand the meaning of this sentence. And if I can make you think enough
about it, I will make you believe in it)
➢ "I wouldn't tell you to use that language every time you communicate with somebody, but just to
use it when it is necessary."
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III- Sentence Structure

1) Cause and effect links

The brain likes what is "similar" to things it already knows. Therefore, it is much easier to get a
suggestion to be accepted when it is linked to an irrefutable or easily accepted truth. One might find It
weird, but as long as the link between the cause and the effect is established, any idea can be connected
to another.

"Because we are here, talking to each other, I think we can review the terms of the contract."

These two ideas have no direct link with each other. However, as long as both interlocutors have
some rapport with each other, the sentence will make sense in everybody’s ears. Using words that imply
a cause-and-effect relationship between something that is already accepted and something you want to
see happening, encourages the listener to react as if, in reality, the first thing actually "provokes" the
other one. There are three types of cause-and-effects links, with varying degrees of effectiveness.

A- Coordination conjunctions

And, Therefore, So

➢ “I think you can remember many of the techniques you've read about so far, and you'll quickly
realize that some of these techniques were already part of you from the beginning.”
➢ "I guess in your life, you've already proven to yourself that you can succeed even when
something seems hard, therefore you can also succeed in mastering this language"

B- Temporal links

While, Meanwhile, Whereas, As you progress, Since, By doing (X) you (Y), Because, Until

➢ "As you discover these language techniques, you will realize they are deeply rooted in the way
you speak, in your everyday life"
➢ "While some people learn to create these sentences just by thinking about them, others need to
write down a certain number of example before mastering them"
➢ "You're probably already better than you think with this language because everyone uses some
of these techniques unconsciously in their everyday language"

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C- Words literally implying causality

Do, Cause, Lead to, Bring, Force; In order to (X) it is necessary to (Y); The more you (X) the more you (Y);
That's why

➢ "Many people naturally think that these techniques are the determining factor that establish a
meaningful communication in any relationship, which leads us to believe that everyone must master
them if they want to enrich the quality of their relationship with their loved ones".
➢ "The more you write examples of these techniques in sentences that you could use every day,
the more you will find yourself using them automatically without realizing it"
➢ "The more you practice using this language cleverly in your daily life, the less people will resist
what you tell them! »
➢ "Milton Erickson always said that cause and effect language can be easily practiced until it is
unconsciously used."

2) Embedded Commands

These are clear and precise instructions on what we want the interlocutor to do in his head, but they are
wrapped in a sentence. That way, they are delivered covertly. Which lowers the resistance. When
instructions are wrapped in a more complete sentence, they go through their mind more smoothly and
elegantly, and the interlocutor does not consciously realize he heard them.

"Of course I don't expect you to SIGN THE CONTRACT NOW, you don't need to MAKE THIS DECISION
TODAY and even less to believe that EVERYTHING I SAY IS GOOD FOR YOU. You can take as much time
as you want to DO THAT. »

3) Quotes

It is often said that...; A person once told me...; People I have met who had a similar opinion have ended
up saying...; Someone I care a lot about, once gave me some fabulous advice...; My grandfather always
told me...; When I think about it, I tell myself to...

It consists in presenting what you want to express as if you were referring to what someone else may
have said in other places and at other times.
Quotes can be used to send any message without taking responsibility. Under the cover of talking about
something else, we actually suggest something powerful. And the interlocutor reacts positively to the

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message and does not identify at the conscious level that he is reacting to it, or who actually delivered
the message.

➢ "My grandfather always told me: You can learn faster than you think"
➢ "When I first learned about quotes, I thought to myself: I must practice this language right
away"
➢ "When I talked to my teacher about it, he said to me: Be prepared, as soon as you start to
understand how this language works, it magically integrates itself in you"

Quoting on 3 levels:

A particularly ingenious technique consists in stacking 3 quotes on top of the other. The effect is
multiplied by social evidence (Higher number of people agreeing) and by the authority factor (the first
quote is a source of higher authority):

1- Quote a source of authority


2- Quote a friend
3- Quote your own thoughts

- "One day I watched a documentary on Milton Erickson, in the documentary the experts said: "Hypnotic
language is very easy to practice and can be learned very quickly".
- And it reminded me of what a hypnotist friend told me: "Just one day after I discovered this language,
I already knew how to use it.
- I remembered it because I often say to myself: "Stop thinking and start practicing now, because the
sooner you practice, the sooner you will benefit from the results!”

Use their inner voice:

That's when you start to tell yourself...; When it happens I stop and say to myself...; As if a voice in you
was saying...
By naming what the person's inner voice says, we make him say it in his head with his own voice without
him knowing it, something that can further reduce resistance.

➢ "Because as you practice these techniques there is like a voice emerging inside your head that
says "but it's crazy ! I can already use these techniques without realizing it"

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➢ "Before I mastered this language, I may have wondered if I was really going to master it so
quickly. When this kind of self doubt start to arise, I stop and say to myself: "Anyway, you already
know how to use it unconsciously, all you have to do is dare to use it in real life’ "

4) Questions

Questions have an immense power. The human brain has a servitude mechanism, when asked a
question; it is obliged to answer it, even if it is only at the unconscious level.
A question presupposes that the expected answer is necessarily somewhere in the person's head. So by
asking questions, we force the other person's mind to find answers, even if it means creating it from
scratch. Even if he creates it, he will still believe that this answer was there from the beginning. Because
the unconscious does not differentiate between what is imagined and what is real.

They are often used in conjunction with embedded commands

➢ "Do you now understand the power of this language? »


➢ "How much do you want to control him? »
➢ "Do you realize how easy it is to learn something when you're motivated? »
➢ "Is today finally going to be the day you exceed all your limits? »

They are also widely used to bring the person back to an emotional state

➢ "Have you ever felt total amazement when you read something? »
➢ "What does it look like when you find yourself in a complete state of letting go, where nothing
matters anymore?”
➢ "If you had to remember the last time you wanted something so much that you thought about it
day and night, how would you describe it? »

A- Double Binds

Double Binds, or the “illusory choice”, consists in offering a choice between two answers which, in
reality, lead to the same result. This kind of question presupposes that at least one of the options given
will happen.

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➢ "Are you beginning to understand the usefulness of these questions or do you realize how they
could help you in your personal life? »

➢ "I don't know if you're going to finish reading this document first before applying these
techniques or if you've already started using them in your daily life, I just know that.. "

B- Conservational Postulates

They are closed questions aimed at provoking a reaction instead of a verbal response. For instance, if we
ask someone in the street: “Do you know what time it is ?”, that person would be unlikely to answer by
“yes” or “no”. She will simply tell you what time it is.

To use that technique, we first think about the reaction we want to provoke. Let’s suppose we
want her to close the door. We then identify at least one thing that will be true once that person has
done so. What does this result presupposes ? In the present case, it is:

- That person is physically close enough to the door to close it


- The door is currently open, at this moment in time

Finally, we take one of those presuppositions, and we change it into a closed-ended question. “Are you
close enough to the door ?”, “Is the door open ?” We now have a question that is provoking the
expected result, in the head or in the actions of the listener.

It is softened since we don’t directly ask it. This is very useful when the subject of the question is
sensitive or might be resisted.

“Do you know what is really important to you in buying this house ?”
“Would you be able to give an approximate price for how much you’re ready to pay ?”
“Have you already thought about the amount you’re ready to pay for the insurance ?”

C- Embedded Questions

This is a question that is embedded in a sentence, longer than the question. Usually, the listener will
answer it without realizing it was asked. The listener doesn’t refuse to answer the question because the
question is inserted inside a phrase motivated by curiosity.

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Even if the person doesn’t answer verbally, the simple fact of listening to the embedded
question will force the mind of the listener to conceive mentally the answer, and therefore to imagine it.
Which implies, once again, that the message goes on an unconscious level.

Moreover, in any case, since this embedded question is provoking an answer on an unconscious
level. The answer can always be detected on the nonverbal behavior of your listener. It is then a soft
way to discover the answer.

“That still doesn’t tell me if…”


“There’s still one thing I don’t understand, it is…”
“I wonder if…”
“I would be curious to know…”
“I don’t know what you would answer if I were to ask you…”
“Usually, I ask people…”
“I’m not sure whether… ”
“I still don’t understand… ”
“I have some trouble figuring out…”

D- Question tag

Question tags are all the small questions that can end a phrase, in a way that the listener is more
compelled to agree. “Isn’t it”, “Aren’t you”, “Wouldn’t they”, “Weren’t she”… They prevent eventual
resistance.

“There are still a lot of details on which we agree, don’t you think ?”
“It feels appeasing to be able to tell freely what makes you anxious, isn’t it ?”
“It’s time to sign the contract, right ?”

Be careful, regarding the voice inflection, this technique works if the question tag is delivered as a
command instead of as a question.

E- Rhetorical Questions

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Rhetorical Questions consist in asking a question to which we already know the answer. It can be used
to escalate the yes-ladder.

“Did you already have relationship problems ?”


“You want to make more money ?”
“You’re someone I can trust ?”

5) Post Hypnotic Suggestions

(Temporal Predicate) + (Universal Expérience) + (Command)

La suggestion post-hypnotique consiste à programmer l’inconscient de l’interlocuteur pour qu’il exécute


une action particulière en réponse à un stimulus choisi. La construction de ces phrases est simple :

1- Define the result we want to get to with our listener


2- Define something in the listener’s environment that will frequently happened, like: Swith on the light,
going to shower, getting to sleep at night, speak to a friend, drive a car, listen to a song…
3- Link both of these with a temporal predicate: Next time you, When you will, Each time you…

“It’s funny because starting from now, every time you will find yourself in a conversation, you will
surprise yourself using these language techniques unconsciously.”
“What is curious is that next time somebody will try to contradict you on something, you’re going to
realize you are already using these language techniques you learned here, in order to shut him down.”

6) Escalate the Yes-Ladder (Pacing and Leading)

Nonverbal signals :
> Positive : Head nodding (yes), raised eyebrows, eyes becoming wider, smile, body turned toward you,
animated facial expression, arms opened
> Negative : Head nodding (no), frowned eye brows, squinting, body turned away from you, blank facial
expression, arms closed.

A- Introduction

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In essence, our brain likes what is familiar. We are more inclined to like people with whom we have
similarities. This is why “truisms” are so powerful. Truisms are statements that cannot be refuted or that
are most of the time accepted as being true. Which means it helps to overcome resistance.
For instance, if I were to say: “You are currently reading black words on a white page”. This sentence
cannot be refuted since it is true on a sensory basis (visual system).

Therefore, by injecting a lot of truisms in our sentences, we place the listener mentally in an
“acceptance state”. A state in which she is much more inclined to agree to what we say. It means every
sentence you pronounce, that is following a truism, will have much more chances to be accepted as
true.

In order to link a truism with a suggestion, or something you want to make your listener agree
on, you can use cause and effect language: “Which implies that…”, “and since we talk about that…”,
“and I think that…”. Modal operators of possibility (Can, Could, might, will…) are very useful for that
matter.

Once we have chosen the result we want to get with our listener, the idea is to talk about that
result as a consequence of many things that the listener will automatically agree on.

Example:
“Since we came here together and since we’re talking about it, I’d like to find an agreement on the
contract. Because I want to change it.”

Here, the sentence starts by 3 truisms


“We came here”
“We are together”
“We are talking about something”

It implies that the final suggestion “You agree that I change the contract”, has much more chances to be
accepted by the listener. Because it is preceded by truisms that are impossible to refute. It also means
that when you want to convince someone, you have to catch any possible point or element from the
that person, that you can acknowledge or agree on. Even if that thing is very small.

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Of course, the possibility of making somebody agree with you, will depend essentially on the rapport
you have with that person. If both people involved deeply hate each other, truisms will be much less
effective.

B- How to Pace Someone ?

If you need to first “pace someone” in order to lead him, then how to “pace” on a linguistic level ?

- We can attach our suggestions to anything that is true in the physical environment around us:
“We are here, we’re talking”
“When I see that room with white walls and this window opened, I tell myself to…”
“While you’re here, having lunch, don’t you think that…”
“On my way to come here, while I was walking, I was telling myself something interesting…”

• We can link our statements to any word, phrase, idea or opinion mentioned by our interlocutor:

“I agree on the fact that the company needs some changes, which is why I…”
“Yes, it is true that I had certain behaviors that created unpleasant feelings in yourself. This is what leads
me to ask you…”
“Of course not every human being is the same, which is why…”
Yes, it is very interesting to notice the evolutions encountered during this path. When I think about it,
there’s one thing I noticed… (And link to the thing we don’t like about this path/situation)

• We can link out statement to an eventual objection:

« Obviously, the first time I heard about this product, I told myself it was bullshit. Now, when I really
discovered how it could help me, I figured out…”
“ Of course it would seem crazy to buy this car now, but once we let go of all the useless worries and
misunderstandings, we can curiously realize that…”

• We can link our statements to problems, fears, failures and frustrations :

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“It’s true that it’s very difficult to deal with a whole business alone”
“It takes a lot of know-how to handle potential financial crises, when calculating your future profit”
“I imagine it must be hard to keep up in life despite the hurdles that are hitting you these days”

• We can link our statements to dreams, fantasies, desires and hopes:

“I bet you already surprised yourself wondering what it would feel like to be rich and famous”
“Maybe you already had out-of-reach dreams about your future, dreams that very few people may
understand”
“At some point, I think we are all aimed at accomplishing things that most people think impossible”

• We can “mind read”, which means talking about your subject while using universal truths that
are majorly positive. This is fotrune tellers’ specialty.

“I think you acquired a lot of wisdom through all the life experiences you encountered so far. Some of
them couldn’t be understood unless they lived them too. Which is why I’m convinced you’ll agree when
I’ll tell you…”
“You’re very focused and you believe in what you’re doing, right ? (…) Yeah that’s what I though, this is
why…”
“You have some tendency to take your own decisions and you are very honest with your friends, aren’t
you ?”
“I think you have some skills you would like to develop, but haven’t exploited yet, this is why I’d like you
to…”
“You look like you have a very unique opinion about that. It’s true that not everybody has your
experience and background on that subject, and the thing I would really like to expand upon is…

Who would give away a generous compliment ? You’re not going to throw a bouquet of flower s to the
trash…

Finally, to create a truism, the simplest way is to ask yourself “what statement can I say, that has the
most chances to be true in that situation ?” A truism is anything that is majorly accepted as being true.

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! Beware ! The word “but” is one of the pet peeves of master communicators. In the language semantic,
the word “but” has a tendency to refute everything that was said before. Unconsciously, you’re
communicating “I don’t give a shit about what you said !”
There can be situations where this word can be useful. However, in most cases, you have to replace it by
“and”, “even if” or to literally change your sentence structure.

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