Showing Not Telling

REACTING AND INTERACTING WITH PEOPLE AND

SURROUNDINGS
As we saw in the previous chapter, one of the most effective
ways to convey personality, age, setting and atmosphere is
through the reactions of your characters.
This involves showing what is happening through a combination
of action, reaction and dialogue rather than narrating or
telling the story to the reader.
Telling
Writers tend to be avid readers, often with a background
steeped in classic works of literature, many of which are
written in the narrative voice. One example of this technique
is Emily Bronte¨ ’s classic novel Wuthering Heights, where the
sequence of events is related in story form by one minor
character to another.
It is perfectly understandable that well-read writers should
seek to emulate this approach but in a modern context, the
technique is very dated. It slows the pace considerably and by
the time the scene is set, both you and the reader may well
have forgotten what the story was about in the first place. (Adele Ramet p. 68)

Moving with the times

It is a testament to the skill of our classic authors that their stories continue to be enjoyed
today. One reason for this is that, despite the ‘Let me tell you a story. . .’ quality of the
writing,many classic tales contain farmore action and interaction than you may think. It is the
narrative style that creates the misleading impression of a leisurely pace, not the actual
content of the story.

Showing
In contrast to using a static character to ‘tell’ the tale, showing
what is happening through the actions and reactions of your
characters brings pace, movement and life to a story, as you
can see by comparing the following examples:
Example A (telling)
The weather was very cold. Luckily, Susan had put on her
heavy overcoat, the one with the hood, so she was able to
keep reasonably warm. Walking along the road, she noticed
that there were no leaves on the trees, a sure sign of
winter. The windows of the houses on either side of the
pavementwere blank and dark. Susan thought it made the
street feel gloomy and oppressive.
Example B (showing)
Susanpulledherheavyovercoat aroundher tokeepout the
icy cold. Offering silent thanks for the warm, fur-lined
hood, she hurried down the deserted street. Leafless trees
wavedmenacingly in the bitter wind as she anxiously surveyed
the blank windows of the houses lining the bare
pavements.Theoppressive gloomofher surroundings sent
a shudder of fear through Susan’s slender frame.(Adele Ramet p. 68-69)
Doing and describing
By comparing the two passages above you can see that in
Example A, Susan is almost static. The reader is told that the
weather is cold, that Susan is wearing a heavy, hooded overcoat,
that the street was gloomy and the atmosphere
oppressive.
In Example B, however, Susan is reacting to her surroundings.
She ‘pulls’ her heavy overcoat around her, ‘offers silent
thanks’ for its warmth and ‘hurries’ down the street. The
trees, too, are moving. They are ‘waving menacingly’ causing
her to become anxious. There is more description too, as the
‘oppressive gloom’ sends a ‘shudder of fear’ through her.
Performing actions
Through the use of verbs and adverbs, your characters will
perform actions that demonstrate clearly their reaction to the
situation in which they find themselves.
This is a far more economical method of writing description
than the narrative style. In fact, Example A is 70 words long,
whilst example B, with all the extra information about Susan’s
build, hercoat and her frame of mind etc.,amounts to only 64.
FEELING THE HEAT
Having established that our characters must react to the
conditions around them, we have to think about how
they will behave in a variety of circumstances.
Hotting up
In the following passage from Jonathan Gash’s novel, The
Judas Pair (Arrow Books), antiques dealer and amateur
sleuth Lovejoy finds himself in mortal danger, when the villain
sets fire to the thatched roof of his cottage. (Adele Ramet p. 70)

Then I smelled smoke.

The shushing sound was the pooled noise of a million
crackles. My thatched roof had been fired, probably by
means of a lighted arrow.
At this point,Lovejoy panics but his sense of self-preservation
swings into action and he makes a rapid analysis of his situation:
I had to think. Smoke was beginning to drift in ominous
columns vertically downwards. Reflected firelight from
each window showed me more of the living-room than
I’d seen for some time. I was going to choke to death
before finally the flames got me. The beams would set
alight, thewalls would catch fire and the fire would extend
downwards until the entire cottage was ablaze.
Lovejoy realises that his only hope is to bury himself in a
priest’s hole under the flagstone floor but he is unprepared for
the conditions he encounters:
The air enteringmy lungswas already searingly hot.From
above my head came frantic gushing sounds, creakings
and occasional ponderous crasheswhich terrifiedmemore
than anything. The walls would be burning now and the
beams would be tumbling through the living-room ceiling.
Twice I heard loud reports as the glass windows went. It
must be an inferno. I was worn out and dying from heat.
Too clever by far, I’d got myself in the reverse of the usual
position. I was safe from smoke and being cooked in an
oven. If only I could bring air in. (Adele Ramet p. 71)