SELF- DEVELOPMENT

TIPS
– Be proactive
– Begin with end in mind
– Put first thing first
– Think win-win
– Seek first to understand, then to
be understood
– Synergise
– Sharpen the saw
 Be proactive
• Not just react on what is happening around
• Inculcate forward thinking
• Anticipate
• Plan
• Expand boundaries
• Act The game of nine dots
to explain
proactive thinking
•Connect all nine dots
•by drawing four straight lines
•without lifting your pen
 Begin with the end in mind

• Develop vision
• Formulate mission statement
• Set goal
• Sub-divide goal into objectives
• Plan activities to achieve objectives
• Act
 SMART OBJECTIVES

• Short
• Measurable
• Action oriented
• Realistic
• Time bound
 Put first thing first

An adaptation of the Jo-Harry window

Urgent Not urgent

Important

Not
important
 Put first thing first
Emphasis on
• Planning
• Relationship management

• Prioritization

• Eliminating the redundant and

unproductive practices
 Think Win-Win

• Work in team
• Help others speak out You win, others lose
You lose, others win
• Help others develop You lose, others lose
You win, others win
• Help others contribute
• Develop relationship
• Do not try to win at the cost of
others, let others win and you win
in the process
 Win - Lose
• you vs. me
• victory or defeat
• personalized
• narrow viewpoint
• poor listening
• judgmental
• independent of each other
• closed-minded
• positional
• compliance
Win – Win
• lots of options
• explore interests
• interdependent
• relationship focused
• process valued
• de-personalized
• mutual air time
• active listening promoted
 Seek first to understand, then to be
understood: 10 Commandments for active
listening
 Stop talking
 Put the speaker at ease
 Show you want to listen
 Remove distractions
 Be patient
 Manage your anger
 Go easy on argument and criticism
 Empathize
 Paraphrase
 Ask questions
Communication ‘Spoilers’

• Criticizing  Moralizing
• Name-calling  Excessive/
• Diagnosing Inappropriate
• Praising Questioning
Evaluatively  Advising
• Ordering  Diverting
• Threatening  Logical Argument
 Reassuring
 Shift your internal stance from “I
understand” to
“Help me understand”…. everything
else follows
from that.
- Source Unknown
 Shift
Judgement to Curiosity

Instead of asking
yourself...
?
Ask yourself...
“I wonder
“How can they think what
that!?” information
they have that
I don’t?”
 Active Listening
Listening doesn't mean sitting still with your mouth
shut.

It is an active process that requires us to participate

– burn some calories!

To fully understand another person we usually have

to:
•prove our understanding;
•ask questions; and
•give feedback.
Active Listening Techniques

• Encouraging
• Paraphrasing
• Empathizing
• Open Questions
• Reframing
• Summarizing
 Syenrgise

• Work in unison with others

• Encourage open discussion
• Encourage positive ideas
• Brainstorm
• Develop synergy
 Sharpen the saw
• Follow principle-centric paradigm
• Reflect
• Retrospect
• Self analyze
• Modify
• Improve upon
 PERSONALITY WINDOWS
Known to Self Unknown to Self

Known to Others OPEN BLIND

Unknown to Others HIDDEN DARK