Module 4: Discussion

Prompt #1: Describe your ability to utilize the H.E.A.R. Model  (or the difficulty you had using
it).
The H.E.A.R. Model was actually introduced to me last year in one of my courses I took and it
definitely changed how I interact with people. Rather than simply hearing the person or people
you’re engaging in conversation with, you have to be completely and totally present, which is
closely similar to our ability to be centered, in order for to really follow along with the H.E.A.R.
Model. I find myself utilizing this model the most while I’m at work, where I’m a barista at
Starbucks. Conversing with customers and using the H.E.A.R. Model makes a positive difference
in how I interact with customers, whether I’m getting to know them, asking about their day, or
handling an issue if a drink or food item was made improperly.
Prompt #2: Describe the difference between using H.E.A.R. and not using H.E.A.R.
For me, the difference between using H.E.A.R. and not using H.E.A.R. is blatantly clear almost
immediately. I first start out using H.E.A.R. by making sure that my body language and eye
contact is read by my partner in a way that tells them, I’m here with you in this moment and
you have my attention. If I fail to start out with that kind of strength, I’m not using H.E.A.R. and
it shows to my partner, who could become more agitated since I’m not fully present with them
in the moment to understand and hear what they have to say. Another way to show to my
partner that I’m using H.E.A.R. is whether or not I ask for more information on what it is that
they’re telling me. By asking for more, I’m more invested in our conversation. Oppositely, if I’m
not asking for more information and just going with what it is they’re telling me, I’m not hearing
or comprehending the importance of their message.
Prompt #3: Were you able to identify the EVENT?  Were you able to identify the other
person's REACTION? Describe the EVENT  and the REACTION.
As I had mentioned before, I often tend to utilize the H.E.A.R. Model while at work when I’m
talking with customers. The most frequent type of engagement in which I use H.E.A.R. is when
customers come to me saying that their drink isn’t made properly. In that situation, the event is
the drink was made poorly; the reaction is one of a few different reactions, whether it’s
anger/frustration or disappointment. By using H.E.A.R., I’m able to understand the event,
empathize with their reaction, and respond in a way that transforms the situation.
Prompt #4: Describe how successfully or unsuccessfully your partner used the H.E.A.R. Model.
Continuing on with the situation I described just previously, my partner, being a customer,
doesn’t use the H.E.A.R. Model as much as they could be. Usually in that kind of interaction,
they’re quick to respond, only want to hear what they want to hear, and expect greater results.
Anything other than that will intensify their reaction and drag on the event for longer than
what’s necessary.
Prompt #5: Identify William Ury's 3 Most Important Reasons to Listen.
William Ury’s three most important reasons to listen are that it helps us understand the other
side, it helps us connect with the other human being, and it makes it more likely that the other
person is going to listen to us and helps us get to yes.
Prompt #6: Connect a personal experience to each of those 3 Most Important Reasons to Listen.
Your experience may be a time when either you successfully or unsuccessfully made use of that
reason.
A personal experience to the first reason is just about anytime my mom gets upset at me, which
isn’t often but it does happen. When it does happen, though, I use H.E.A.R. so that I’m able to
better understand her side of the conversation and ask what about my behavior or action
caused her to react to the event that took place. A personal experience to the second reason is
every time I communicate with my best friend, who happens to live in Austin, TX. Even though
we met when we were in high school, we’ve both embarked on different paths that have led us
in different directions, which means we’re constantly texting or talking on the phone. I’ve gone
to visit her many times in the cities she’s lived in during our years of friendship, but a majority
of our communication is done so via our phones. Because she’s my best friend, really hearing
her is important for me because it allows me to connect with her and to remember the
conversation for another moment later in time since, chances are, that conversation will be
brought up again in the future and I will want to have really heard it all. A personal experience
to the third reason is when my manager at work asks me what needs to happen to our weekly
order delivery so that boxes aren’t left out in our café for customers to see. After having
listened to the ideas my manager throws at me, I mention a few ideas of my own, and after he
listens to me we come to a state of agreement on what needs to happen, which gets us to yes.
Prompt #7: Identify at least one additional insight from Ury's Video that you find interesting or
pertinent or useful. Be sure to explain why you find it interesting, pertinent, or useful.
An insight from Ury’s video that I found to be interesting and useful is how he suggests before
we have a meaningful or important conversation with someone else, we must first clear our
minds of anything and everything that’s occupying it, so silencing the noise that’s loudly filling
our mental space. I find this to be interesting and useful because it’s a skill that I don’t feel most
of us don’t follow, yet we should start because it would have a lasting impact on how we
communicate to one another.