Human relationships

People are social beings and each of us forms various kinds of relationships with other people. Human
relationships reflect different ways how people behave and feel towards each other.
a) medziľudské vzťahy (v rodine a v škole, susedské, generačné)
Family has always been a primary social group and so it is not surprising that the most influential and
long-lasting relationships are formed within family units. Family relationships include relationships
between parents and their children, between spouses (husband and wife), siblings (brothers and sisters)
and between members of extended families (e.g. cousins, aunts, uncles, nephews, grandparents, in-
laws etc). Ideal family relationships should be based on love, respect, mutual understanding and
emotional support. The importance of family ties is reflected in the saying “Blood is thicker than
water”. When we grow up, the quality of family relationships shapes our personalities. Whether we
feel secure or insecure, shy or self-confident, fearful, depressed or cheerful later in our lives is to a
great degree the result of our early childhood experiences. Our parents, grandparents and older siblings
are our first role models. Unfortunately, many families break up or become dysfunctional. The divorce
rate is higher than it used to be in the past. The main reasons for divorce include unfaithfulness
(infidelity, cheating, extramarital affairs), aggression or domestic violence, lack of communication,
lack of trust, financial problems, frequent arguments, and different kinds of addiction (addiction to
alcohol, drugs, gambling).
When we start attending school, we start to form our relationships with peers. At school, we can
distinguish relationships between classmates or schoolmates (who belong to the same age group) and
relationships between teachers and their students. The first type of relationships is more informal and
the second one is more formal. Teachers can not only teach their students and help them gain
knowledge and skills, but they can also encourage them, reveal their talents, motivate and inspire them
to become successful in life. Apart from education, at school we gain social skills and we also learn
how to cooperate, cope with stressful situations and how to find our place within a social group of our
peers. Furthermore, school is usually the place where we form our first friendships and romantic
relationships. Unfortunately, some pupils and students suffer a lot as a result of bad relationships at
school – when they are not accepted by their peers, when they are socially isolated or in the worst case
bullied by their schoolmates.
As children grow up and reach their teenage years, their friends or schoolmates can start to have even
bigger influence on their behaviour or preferences than their parents or teachers.
Relationships with our neighbours are not so strong today as they used to be in the past, mainly in the
countryside. Nowadays, when we live in a block of flat in a big city, we just greet our neighbours but
we often do not know their names and we do not care about their life. However, even if we do not
know our neighbours personally, we should be polite and considerate towards them. For example, we
should not disturb them by making too much noise or by annoying behaviour which might become a
source of potential conflicts with our neighbours.
The relationships between young and elderly people are often influenced by so called generation gap
which reflects all the differences between people belonging to different generations, such as
differences in lifestyle, opinions, fashion, hobbies, attitude to life etc. Generation gap can be observed
for example in our families (the differences and potential misunderstandings between grandparents,
parents and children) or at school (the differences and conflicts between older teachers and teenagers).
Young people often blame elderly people for being too conservative while older people often say that
young people are irresponsible and rude. The differences between two or more generations are natural
because people who are more than 20 years older than we, grew up in a different world, so it is
understandable that they have slightly different priorities and values than we do.
b) priateľstvo a láska (hodnotový systém, postoje), stretnutia, oslavy
Friendship is usually based on shared interests or values. People often say “A friend in need is a friend
indeed” which means that good friends are with us not only in good times but they support us also in
bad times. A good friend will never let you down when you need his help or advice. We usually
appreciate friends who are sincere, generous, trustworthy, willing to help and kind-hearted. On the
other hand, it is difficult to be on friendly terms with someone who is selfish, insensitive, dishonest or
unreliable. Friends often share their secrets, so your best friend should never misuse your trust or
betray you. Lack of trust, envy or jealousy might often ruin a friendship of two people who used to get
on well with each other.
Love is a romantic relationship full of strong emotions and feelings. When we fancy someone, we tend
to spend more time with them and sometimes we might fall in love with them. Some people believe in
love at first sight, others think that real love needs more time to develop. Even if you are in love with
someone, it does not mean that you will always agree with them and never argue with them. On the
contrary, couples often fall out but if the relationship is strong enough, they are able to make up and
their relationship can survive many obstacles. Honest communication and mutual respect seem to be
key factors in maintaining a fulfilling romantic relationship. In that case, couples often start thinking
about getting married. They introduce their partners to their families and friends, they can get engaged,
settle down and start a family later. Nowadays, many couples try living in the same household (so
called cohabitation) before getting married. They believe it helps them know each other better and find
out if they are really compatible. However, many couples break up when they discover that their needs
do not correspond to the qualities of their partners. Frequent arguments, emotional instability, cheating
or jealousy might ruin a romantic relationship which seemed to be ideal and passionate at the
beginning.
c) spoločenské problémy (vzťah spoločnosti a jednotlivcov k znevýhodneným skupinám)
We should be aware of the fact that we live in a society not only with people we know personally.
Society is a large group of people who share different kinds of norms and values. Our behaviour in a
society should not be based only on competitiveness but also on cooperation and solidarity with
unlucky members of our society or with people in need. That´s why not only governments but also
charities and individuals are not indifferent towards the suffering of other people. They try to help for
example disabled people, homeless people, orphaned children, patients suffering from incurable
diseases, elderly people who are often lonely and so on. Sometimes just a small expression of goodwill
or just showing that we care about them, can make a big difference in the quality of their lives.
d) agresivita, vandalizmus, egoizmus, ľahostajnosť okolo nás (príčiny, dôsledky, postoje a
reakcie ľudí)
There are many negative phenomena and social problems we have to face in our society. The most
often discussed social problems are aggression, crime, vandalism, selfishness or indifference to the
suffering of other people. The causes of these negative forms of behaviour can be either individual or
social. In other words, they might be genetically or biologically determined or learned by socialization
in childhood and experience in our life. For example, aggressive or criminal behaviour can be
sometimes observed in psychopaths or sociopaths as a result of neurological dysfunctions or mental
disorders (with symptoms such as lack of empathy, inability to postpone gratification or to act
according to accepted basic social norms) but the tendency towards violence can be also strengthened
by negative examples of behaviour in dysfunctional families (e.g. child abuse, inadequate parenting
etc), in our peer groups, in mass media and by lack of education and appropriate upbringing. The
consequences of these social problems can be quite far reaching. People living in communities with
high crime rate, levels of aggression or ruthless competition can suffer from emotional problems like
insecurity, fear, anxiety or lack of trust, economic problems as well as health problems such as stress-
related diseases (e.g. heart diseases).
e) možnosti riešenia konfliktov
In all types of human relationships, conflicts, disagreements or misunderstandings might occur. It is
vitally important to acquire social skills to solve such problems. If we get involved in conflicts with
our friends or relatives, we should apply these basic principles of problem solving strategies:
First of all, try to identify the real cause of the problem and try not to be overwhelmed by negative
emotions such as anger and hostility. If you are too furious, do not jump at the first idea that comes to
your mind, try to calm down and think twice before making a final decision.
Secondly, try to have a constructive discussion with your partner instead of having a destructive
argument.
Thirdly, be careful when criticising your partner – focus on criticism of his or her actions or behaviour
not on personal criticism, for example: instead of saying “I hate you, you are so stupid” you should say
“I hate what you have done, I do not understand why you have done it”.
Last but not least, try to see the problem from your partner´s viewpoint and even if both of you “agree
to disagree”, you should be prepared to reach a compromise or find a middle ground which would be
acceptable for both parties involved.