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Chapter 1

The Problem and Its Background

Introduction

Dealing with the death of loved one is part of one’s life. Whether you like it or not

you will loss someone. It is the worst scenario that will happen in every family. When the

time of losing a member of family comes into one’s lives, it is really hard to accept.

Especially when that member of family who died was really a good person or that has a

special place in your heart. It is just hard to accept everything.

Most of the families that loss their loved ones are having a hard time on coping

up. They all have different reasons why they are having a hard time on coping up or

accepting the death of their loved ones. It is a very hard challenge that we’ll surely

encounter. Where in their grief is at utmost and they don’t want to live anymore. They

will feel mix of emotions that they can’t explain. And by that, they will surely question

God. Why does it need to happen? That of all people why does it need to be them. Then

they will blame God. They will think that God is the scheme of all deaths. When they lost

a loved one probably they will think that why should they lived if they will just only die.

Other’s perception was God took one’s loved one to be with him, that one’s loved one

had been good in this world that’s why God took their loved one early. While on the

other hand, they believe that this is a punishment for them for being a bad person.

Everyone reacts differently to the death of their loved ones and has a personal

coping mechanisms for grief. We knew some people who lost their self just because they

can’t accept the loss of their loved one. Some are committing suicide because they
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thought that if their lives end too, they can be with their loved ones on the other life. But

there are still some who are can easily accept the death of their loved ones. These people

had unique ways of coping up. But most of the time those people who had left by their

loved ones really had a hard time on coping up. Losing someone who is special for them

would really hurt them big time. Some may struggle with grief for longer periods of time

and feel unable to carry out daily activities. Days, Months and Years would have passed

but the pain is still there, in their hearts. It is not easy to forget someone that is very

special. There would be a time that they would forget their loved ones, but it is only for a

short time because the sad part is time would go back again and they would feel the pain

again. There is no time period for someone to finally cope up in this situation. It may take

time and thought before they finally cope up. Mourning the death of their ones take time.

“Never. We never lose our loved ones. They accompany us; they don't disappear from

our lives. We are merely in different rooms.” -Paulo Coelho, Aleph. This means that their

loved ones really doesn’t leave them. Yes, they leave them physically, they can no longer

see their smiles, they can never hear their laughs, and they cannot embrace them like

before. In short they cannot do the things that they were doing before because they cannot

feel their presence physically. But they should keep in mind that they are still there. They

are guiding them. They are watching over them.

This study aimed to understand the experiences of those families who had left by

their loved ones and how do they cope up in the situation.

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Statement of the Problem

This study aimed to understand the experiences of those families who had

left by their loved ones.

Specifically, this study would seek answers to the following questions:

1. What are the most challenging part of being left by a loved one?

2. How do the families cope up in the situation of being left by a loved

one?

3. How does the death of loved one affect the behavior and physical

health of the bereaved family?

4. What are the changes in their family after the death of loved one?

Significance of the study

This study could provide information on family that were left by their loved ones.

The findings of the study could have a great value to the parents, teachers, students to

those families and for the future researchers.

To the Teacher. This would give them enough knowledge to guide and help

bereaved students on dealing with this situation.

To the Students. This study could provide information to them in guiding their

bereaved classmate who were experiencing of being left by loved one.

To the society, this study may provide insights as to how the society may help

others in dealing with the death of loved ones.

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To the Parents. This would be a great help for the parents who have a child that

having a hard time on coping up with the death of their loved one. They would have a

guide and background on it, and help their child to at least overcome the situation.

To the Families. it would provide additional knowledge about the coping

mechanisms that they can apply to their selves on the death of their loved ones.

To the Future Researchers. Findings of the study will serve as reference

material and a guide for future researchers who wish to conduct the same study about

Overcoming Adversity: Death of Loved Ones.

Scope and Delimitation

This study would be conducted to explore the experiences of families being left

by their loved ones. The challenges on being left by their loved ones would be studied.

The respondents should have experienced the situation of being left by their loved ones,

the respondents were not just the families who left by their loved ones recently but also

the families who left by their loved ones long time ago and up until now they can’t accept

the death of their loved ones. This study would only focus on the bereaved family on how

they deal with being left, what is the challenging part they faced and certain aspects

would be explored as well as how these aspects affect their family. These aspects are

physical health, family, behavioral aspect. The research sample is composed of fifteen

(15) Families. The data gathering method to be used is interview to determine the

families’ perspectives based on their experiences. The study will be conducted within the

City of Tarlac during February 2017. Judgement Sampling will be used to make this

study more efficient.

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This study was conducted to understand the experiences, feelings, perceptions of

the families of being left by their loved ones and how did they cope up.

Definition of Terms

For a clearer understanding of the study, the following terms are conceptually

and/or operationally defined.

 Adversity- a state or instance of serious or continued difficulty or misfortune .

(Merriam Webster’s Dictionary)

Behavior- the way in which a person acts in response to a death of loved ones.

Bereaved. suffering of the families on the death of a loved one.

Coping Mechanism- an adaptation to environment stress that is based on conscious or

unconscious choice of the family.

Experiences. In this study, it refers to the challenges and hardships that family felt in the

death of their loved ones.

Family. This refers to the group of people who are biologically related. In the study, how

do being left by loved ones affects the group.

Grief- is the normal and natural emotional reaction to loss or change of any kind. Of

itself, grief is neither a pathological condition nor a personality disorder. (Grief Recovery

Method)

Physical Health-  Physical health is essential to the complete health of an individual; this

includes everything from overall well-being to physical fitness. It is a state of physical

well-being in which the individual is able to perform daily activities. (Reference)

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Suicide. The act of killing their selves when they can’t accept the death of their loved

ones.

CHAPTER 2

REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE AND STUDIES

This chapter presents related and pertinent literature and studies which helped the

researchers in the development of the study.

RELATED LITERATURE

Death of a loved one is extremely personal. There are many different factors that

will affect individual feelings towards the fact that one of their loved one's died. No

matter what kind of loss is that, they will still manage their own grief. There is no right

and wrong ways on dealing with grief. It is a tremendously personal journey of life.

Everyone has their own reactions to loss. Others are uncomfortable when they talk about

the loved one who has gone. But, others can manage to talk of their loved one who has

passed away. It is natural to voice out what they feel, depending on how they want to

express it. Other grief families display a photo of their loved one in a special area as a

remembrance for them. Death of a loved one is unexpected, and grief comes in waves.

There are unexpected moments like seeing them, hear, or smell something that remember

them. It is important not to fight the feelings, and just let them out. It is a form of healing.

Death of loved one is a part of Heavenly Father's plan, all people experience adversity

during their lifetime. Others takes a long year to overcome the death of their loved one
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because of the pain, sadness, heartbreaks and the intimate relationship between them.

There are also people who loses their faith because of what happened. But on the other

hand, others, can easily cope up and look forward for the better, because they know that it

is God's will. Overcoming the death of loved ones takes time to heal the pain of being left

by person who has a big part to their life. It changes their life a lot and can't concentrate

because they keep on remembering what happened. It may also lead them from being

numb, shock or frightened because they are thinking in a negative way and their mind is

only focused in the process of grieving. The pain is there but when they realized that it's

not the end of everything they can easily go back to their normal actions. (Capriani,

2016)

American Psychological Association (2016), according to their study overcoming

adversity in life takes time. There is no particular time for someone to grieve or cope up.

Give them the time and space they need for them to overcome the adversity they

experienced. Their study also said that people can recover from loss of their loved ones

through their selves, passage of time and if they have social support and healthy habits.

Their study also suggested some ways on how to cope up easily on the death of their

loved ones. Similar to the study above is that, all people who left by their loved ones

really needs a time to finally cope up. There’s no exact time on when they were going to

accept it but eventually time will come and they can overcome this adversity.

Burke and Neimeyer (2014), focused on the benefit of faith in bereavement

distress of grievers family especially Christian grievers. It clarified religious coping is

powerful bereavement distress. Mourners turned on being religious when their loved one

left them. It focused on the coping mechanism of Christian grievers.

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According to Mordcin et al. (2013), children need a guidance about death.

Guidance can guide the children in having a better understanding of death. It is important

to adults to talk to children about death. The impact of guidance in assisting with grief,

anger and fear can have prevented and lessened when death occurs.

According to Schwartz (2013) Dealing with the Death of a Loved One. Lives of

individuals transformed by such loss, but that doesn't mean it is to be for the worse in the

long period of time. The recovery process and the ability to continue life for the better is

dealing positively and effectively with grief. Death of a loved one is an event that people

likely to experience often on numerous occasions. There is a general pattern in grieving

in in their own way. It is about the feelings and showing up what they think in the certain

situation that they are encountering. People who had left by their loved one may be

confused and they find it difficult to concentrate in what they're doing because what

happened is still fresh in their minds. Others can manage to focus but all of a sudden they

found their selves thinking about their loved one who passed away, or thinking the

memories when they are still together. There are also physical responses that they will

encounter. They may experience stress, tightness in their throat, pain stabbing in their

chest, or around their heart. They may also have headaches, hot flashes, and cold chills.

Some people find it hard to breathe because of something stabbing in their chest. All of

these are because of the pain that they have. In addition, they may also have changes in

their behavior. Sometimes, people who are still in the process of grieving difficult to

sleep. That's why some people engage in what they called "searching behavior". They do

the things that they are not usually doing because they think that that person is still alive

even though in that kind of stuff. Grieving individuals sometimes want to spend their
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time alone in a quiet room to let their emotion out without knowing others. But there are

those people who want to be with their friends or other relatives for them not to think

their loved one who died. Ordinary can express in different ways. But, in time they will

slowly accept of what has happened until they finally accept it already. The energy

begins to return and finally they feel that they finally renewed their life. Something has

changed and they became stronger person that they before until they think that no pain is

there when they're remembering their loved one. They already accept the loss and start a

new life because whatever born must die.

According to Coyne (2012), loss of parent may have an impact on children. It

focused on the struggle of children in school like academic achievement, where parents

play a big role in children’s school performance. Also death of loved one had an impact

on child’s development and the negative emotion. It said University faculty are the most

common publisher of this phenomena.

Bonanno (2010) according to his book The Other Side of Sadness that the people

conventional model discounts their capacity for resilience. In fact, he reveals that people

are already hardwired to deal with their losses efficiently not by graduating through static

phases. He also examines people’s inborn emotions and that is the anger and denial, but

also the relief and joy helps people to deal effectively with loss. Grieving goes beyond

mere sadness: it can deepen interpersonal connections and often involves positive

experiences. In the end, mourning is not predictable but incredibly sophisticated. His

book also had the process of grief and this are the feelings, Physical sensations, random

thoughts and behaviors.

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Jackson (n.d) on his book The FaQ : The principles for overcoming adversity and

dealing effectively with life issues he said that relationship is one that all human

occupants of this earth must embrace in order to function productively through life. That

people as sentient beings are faced with a variety of challenges in life. The ”FaQ ” stands

for Fate, activity and quality of existence. In his book he said that a human beings’ life is

a series of various events which occurs and of which people as sentient individuals had

some degree of awareness that occurred. He also said that many events are positive but an

overwhelming number of events are categorized as negative events. And those negative

events are what people found themselves unable to handle and manage in a way that

leaves them better than before they experienced them. It also said that life is statistically

improbably overloaded with more negative events than positive events and unfortunately,

no one is exempted from these events. He again said to his book that negative events

totally consume the individuals but there is still be a process of repair.

Related Studies

Foreign

Axelrod (2017), her study presented the five stages of grieve and loss. They also

show some ways on how to deal with grief and loss. The five stages of grief and loss are

the denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. They said that in bereavement,

people spent different lengths of time working through each step and express each stage

with different levels of intensity. But the Five stages according to them do not
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necessarily occur in any specific order, that people often move between stages before

achieving a move peaceful acceptance of death. Her study also said that as long as there

is life there is hope there is life. But she also said that the five stages may not experience

by some people but it is perfectly okay and normal.

Their study and present study says one thing and that is people left by their loved

ones had different ways of grieving. Because each people is unique on their own way so

they had different process on how to cope up. Difference is that this study did not

consider the stages of grief. It only focused on understanding the experiences of those

people left by their loved ones.

According to Ye Won Kim et al. (2016) Factors Affecting Research Participation

of Bereaved Families of Terminal Cancer Patients: A Prospective Preliminary Study.

Their purpose is to know the factors associated with the willingness of family caregivers

of terminal cancer patients to participate in a bereaved survey. Their study aimed to

ascertain the pre-loss factors that predict actual participation in a bereaved survey. From

two multi center surveys they conduct a prospective observational study using data.

According to Ye Wo Kim et al. They used a step wise multivariate logistic regression

analysis in order to identify the pre-loss factors associated with participating in the

bereaved survey. As a result, the participation group and the non-participation group

regarding to the religion, economic status, and perceived quality of care assessed by the

Quality Care Questionnaire-End of Life has a differences. Among the 185 bereaved

individuals, 30 were responded to the survey. They also suggest that bereaved individuals
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who are hesitant to participate in a bereaved survey should have more attention should

also be paid for them to improve the quality of end-of-life care.

Based on the study above it has a similarity in the present study because it aimed

to conduct a research to understand the bereaved families in their painful situation. But

the differences are being not conducting a survey but we're conducting interviews to the

individuals who had left by their loved one. But if differs to tje religion, economic status,

and perceived quality.

According to Barnesh et al. (2015) Research Participation for Bereaved Family

Members: Experience and Insights from a Qualitative Study. They conduct this research

because there is potential negative effect of losing a loved one in the ICU but, their main

objective is to understand those families who are participating in bereavement research

and what are the benefits of participating in such research. As a result, the reason why

families are participating and the benefits of participation 6 themes emerged: 1) "To say

thank you to the ICU team." 2) "To help other bereaved family members."3) "To express

myself from a distance." 4) "To not feel abandoned." 5)"To share difficult emotions and

help make meaning of the death and," 6)"To receive support and care." Bereavement

research would be beneficial for the family members who had left by their loved ones in

the ICU. It helps to define the family needs by exploring the experiences of participating

in research. Because, bereaved families need to voice out their feelings towards what they

feel and to know what they need in their situation. It also helps them to recover easily by

giving condolence letters, phone calls, or post intensive care meetings.

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Based on the study above it has similarity in the present study because it also

conducted a research to have a deep understanding to the family who had left by their

loved one. But it differs on what are the benefits of the families who are participating in

the bereavement research.

According to Delalibera et al. (2015) Family dynamics during the grieving

process: A systematic literature review. The family dynamics can affect because of the

loss of a loved one by changing the family system. It also leads to family conflicts as

contributing to the development of a complicated grieving process but cohesion, good

communication and expressing an affection can lessen the pain and grief symptoms.

Based also on the study, it is more stressful to take care a family member with a serious

& progressive disease involves a number of practical tasks associated with ensuring the

patients comfort physical and emotional well-being.

According also to Kramer N. et al. few studies have examined how family

conflict and experiences of care at the end of life may influence the grieving process of

family caregivers. Grieving is a natural reaction of individual and families who left by

their loved one. A loss can also change the family functioning and dynamics because of

the painful incident that they had suffered and to think that one of their loved one died.

The grieving experience can be enhanced or impaired by the openness of communication

and level of cohesion among family member. Therefore, good family relationship is

really important in the process of grieving and also important for the psychological well-

being of family members. But base on the result of the study, of the 389 articles found,

118 were duplicates and 231 were excluded in the first selection round because they were

not related to the research question, did not evaluate the variables in question, did not
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meet the inclusion criteria or were not empirical articles. Only fifteen articles met all the

inclusion criteria out of forty. Seven of these articles were not empirical studies but were

only literature updates.

The study above has similarities in the present study because death of a loved one

can affect the family dynamics and family system. It changes the family functioning

because they lost a loved one and they're still in the process of grieving. But it differs

only to the result and criteria of the study.

Vaughans (2014), her study provided support of hope as important to personal

resolution of bereavement related grief. This study showed the importance of

achievement in personal resolution and adjustment in accepting the death of loved ones.

It showed personal resolution in grief and loss does not differ based on ethnic

background.

This study similar present study, on coping mechanism and what is the

significance of dealing with death of loved ones and it differs in where this study accepts

the death of loved ones in social support and personal grief resolution.

According to Stroebe et al (2014), the guilt on bereavement had scientifically

investigated that it had been limited. Results showed that self-blame was associated and

regret was not associated in initial level of grief and depression. This result showed the

importance of studying guilt-related manifestations independently and the generic and

grief specific outcome variables. self-blame was associated in grief-specific difficulties

on the loss of loved one.

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This study showed similarity in present study, on how did people overcome and

cope up in this kind of situation on being left by loved ones. How does the death of loved

one affect the behavior of the bereaved family. This similar study only focused on self-

blame and regret regarding on grief and depression and Overcoming adversity: death of

loved ones focused on family and how does it affect the family.

According to Beregeson (2012), the significant stressor for children is the death of

loved one. Children without support and guidance are much more on negative emotion,

cognitive and development effects. Bibliotherap said to be the safe and healthy

bereavement distress for children. Coping skills of young children were activities and

supports of school.

This study similar present study on how do parents have to support their children

in grief and how the death loved ones affect their behavior and physical health and it

differs in focused of study where the focus of this study is the guidance of school and

overcoming adversity: death of loved ones focused on guidance of family.

Smith, M.A and Segagal (2007) said that there is no right or wrong way to cope

up with loss. They said that losing someone you love is very painful. People loss their

loved ones may experience all kinds of difficult emotions and it feels like their pain will

never let up but these are normal reactions. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, that

there are healthy ways to cope up with the pain that in time, can renew them and help

them move on. They also defined grief as natural response to loss. The more significant

the loss, the ore intense the grief would be. They also said that even subtle losses can lead

to grief. Grieving is a personal and highly individual experience, how they grieve
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depends on many factors including their personality, coping style, life experience, their

faith and the nature of loss. Also that grieving process takes time. Healing happens

gradually; it can’t be force or hurried. Their study said that whatever their grief

experience, it is important to be patient with their selves and allow process to naturally

unfold.

So the similarity of this study in the present study is that in order to cope up is to

let the time heal their wounds. That the first person that will help them to cope up is none

other than their selves and their families are there for the support. Difference is that their

study considered the subtle grief but this study only focused on those people who

experienced deep pain and having a hard time to cope up.

Local

Macabulos (2015), showed the Filipino children concept of death continues to

evolve through socialization, personal experiences and children’s observation in the

environment. The study recommends that school psychologist have to implement a

school counseling program in behalf of the children’s construct concerning death

particularly those who suffered from loss of loved one and experiencing grief.

This study similar to present study in the perception of people on death and how

did they overcome it and it differs in the coping support and this study recommended a

death education to children.

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According to Frigillano (2014), newly widowed experience certain behavior

patterns and denying the death of spouse. The partner blame their selves, felt guilt,

intense depression, bidding for time and want another chance in the terms of acceptance,

reality of death and recovery. Newly widowed seemed to be like on what Kubler Ross

posited about the five stages of grief. The survival strategies or coping mechanism are

family support the faith in God, ideology and community support.

This study is similar to present study where grieving person need a family support

and how do grievers accept the situation and it differ in where this study only focused on

newly widowed.

According to Doonrebos et al. (2013), Supporting Bereved Families in the

Philippines. The purpose of their study is to assess how to overcome the death of loved

one Philippines by studying the recruited bereaved family to complete the survey. This

study can help other individuals and families who were experienced to left by their loved

one. As a result of all the intervention they know what did they feel in the process of

grieving. And in the end they still manage to overcome the death of their loved one by

doing things to forget what happened. It is not easy at first but when the time goes by, the

pain was lessening and they feel that little by little they are healed and the things are

going back to normal again. Some losses their faith but others had grown their spiritual,

and faith to the Lord because they understand that it is part of everyone's life. It's not easy

to accept but time heals and acceptance will remain to them. They know that life is just

short so, they have to move on and start new life with their remaining family members.

Enjoy life and continue it for the better and just accept that there is no forever in this
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world all things will change and no one will stay. It is not easy to cope up in the process

of grieving but there are still there to help them accept that one of the member of their

family has gone.

Based on the study it has similarity in the present study that were conducting

because it also about the families who left by their loved one and about also to the coping

up in the situation of being left.

Paradigm of the Study

Most challenging part of Experiences How does the death of loved

being left by a loved one one affect the behavior and
of families physical health of the
bereaved family
who had left

by their
How do the families cope up
in the situation of being left loved ones Changes in their family after
by a loved ones the death of loved one

Paradigm of the Study

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The paradigm shows that the study is focus on the experiences of family being left

by their loved ones which it is a qualitative (phenomenological) study. First, the most

challenging part of being left by loved ones and how do they cope up in the situation

would be explored. Also, changes in the family after the death of loved one will be

studied. How the death of loved one affect their behavior and physical health would be

explored as well.

CHAPTER 3

METHODS OF STUDY AND SOURCES OF DATA

This chapter presents the research design that was employed in the study. It also

contains detailed information on how the research was conducted, how the data were

gathered and the varied procedures, techniques and instrument to meet the objectives of

the study.

Research Design

The researchers used the phenomenological study design which explore the

meaning of the experience of people who experienced a particular phenomenon. The

study collects data that leads to identifying common themes in people’s perception of

their experiences.

Locale of the Study

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This study was conducted in Tarlac City selected through Deliberate sampling

also known as purposive sampling. The study included 3 areas in Tarlac City.

Respondents of the Study

The respondents of the study were 15 bereaved families from the three areas of

Tarlac. The respondents were the families who had experienced being left by their loved

ones.

Sampling Design

The researchers used purposive sampling techniques in conducting the study

where the respondents are selected. The respondents were chosen as they satisfy the

criteria needed.

Data Gathering Instrument

The primary instrument that the researchers used in the study is the interview

guide that was utilized in order to get information from the respondents. Interview

method gives the accurate, complete and reliable data. Researchers also used video

recorder and audio recorder.

Data Gathering Procedure

In gathering the data, researchers would look for the bereaved families. After

finding respondents, the researchers would ask permission if it is okay to interview them

about their loved ones and after they agree, the researcher would let them sign the
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consent. And then, the researcher would ask them again if they can take a video or

recording during the interview. After getting the permission and signing consents, the

researcher would interview them using the questions that is related to the questions in

Statement of the Problem and get the important information. The information would be

used for the better understanding of the research study and for the researchers to complete

the study.

CHAPTER 4

PRESENTATION, ANALYSIS AND INTERPRETATION OF DATA

In this chapter, the data gathered are presented and analyzed to answer the objectives

of this study.

1. Most challenging part of being left by a loved one.

Being left by a loved one is really hard. Before families overcome this

adversity they need first to face the most challenging part of being left by a loved one.

The respondent stated their experiences in challenging part they faced on being left by

their loved ones.

Mr. Severino Buhanhin which is one the respondents who shared the experience

about being left by loved ones. Mr. Buhanhin said that the Most challenging part that he

faced since he was left by her wife was “Yung pinakamahirap ay yung paano ko
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itataguyod yung anak ko si Sev (anak) kasi yun yung pinaka goal namin dalawa, dapat

mapaayos namin yung buhay ng anak namin. Yun siguro yung isa sa pinakamahirap

pero hopefully siguro naman na pu'fulfill ko naman yung gusto namin para sakanya.”

(The most challenging part is when I think of Sev on how to support and give his needs

because that is our goal of my wife. I think that is the most challenging part but

hopefully, I can fulfill the things we wanted for our child.) The same into another

respondent, Ms. Ramos who stated that, “Yung sino ung magpapa-aral samin at sinong

magtutustos samin. Sobrang hirap kasi si daddy yung nagpapa-aral samin ni ate ko.”

(When I think who would be the one to support our schooling. It is hard because daddy is

the one who support our needs in school.) The same to Ms. Gayla, she said that, “yung si

ate ko yung naging ina sa aming magkakapatid.” (my sister is the one who stand as our

mother) These three respondents were left by their loved ones who have still

responsibility in them, but because their loved ones died, they are having a hard time to

think on how do they will support their family. Because the one who supports them can’t

no longer do it.

Ms. Lacamento stated, “Siguro yung nagkaroon si mama ng iba after 3 years.”

(maybe when my mother found another partner.) The respondents faced problem in the

family after the death of loved one, where the respondent’s mother found another partner.

It is a challenge for Ms. Lacamento because it is hard to accept that her mother found

another partner in life. She is still not yet ready to have a stepfather because the death of

her father is still fresh for her that time.

According to Ms. Taguinod the challenging part, “Nung nagkaroon kami ng

Family problem and financial problem.” (When we had a family problem and financial
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problem.) It’s been the most challenging part on her because the provider of their needs

was already gone and because of that, they have difficulty in financial. Family problem

was one of the most challenging part, where families are not connected to each other after

the death of their loved one.

Mr. Espinosa answered, “Yung nakikita namin syang nahihirapan, nung

hinahabol nya hininga nya." (When we are seeing her gasping for air and seeing her in

pain). Respondents most challenging part is when they are seeing their loved one on pain

but they can’t do anything but just to watch and pray for them. It is a challenging part

because no one wants to see their love ones suffering. It is really hard seeing your love

ones suffering and the worst you can’t do anything but to watch and just pray for them.

Ms. Bato said, “Yun yung, ano, parang pagnakikita ko si mama na nahihirapan,

nahihirapan din ako.” (it is when I see my mom on pain, it is like I’m also in pain.) Most

challenging part is when respondent see their family member hurting and can’t do

anything but just to comfort them. It is also the same with Mr. Espinosa. They have also

the same challenging part and it is seeing their loved ones in pain. It is a challenging part

for both of them because they don’t want seeing their loved ones in pain.

Ms. Pangan said, "Yung parang nabawasan yung nagpapasaya sa'min, tapos

yung mga ginagawa nyang pag-aalaga sa'min pag wala sina mama." (It's like the one

who always makes us happy can’t no longer do that and the care that she gave when my

parents are not around.) It is just like the answer of Ms. Rivera, she said, "Para sakin,

yung challenging part is yung everyday life ko na wala na siya, as in yung pag umaga,

pag gising mo tapos wala na yung mama mo ganun, syempre kasi sya lagi yung nagpe-
 24

prepare ng gagamitin ko ganun." (For me, it is my everyday life without my mother.

Every morning I’ll woke up realization will hit me that my mom was already gone, she’s

the one who prepare things for me.) The most challenging part for the respondents was

they can’t no longer feel and have that care that their loved ones doing while they are still

alive. For these respondents it became their challenging part because of the care that their

loved ones gave when they are still alive. It’s a challenge for them because they’ll woke

up one day that their loved ones who used to give them the tender loving care is no longer

with them. It is hard to wake up every morning not seeing your love ones. They just also

don’t know how to face another day without their loved ones.

Ms. Sison said: “Siguro noong unang araw na di na namin siya kasama,

siyempre nasanay kami na lagi siyang nandyan.” (Maybe that’s the first day that he is not

with us anymore, of course we are used in his presence everyday) It’s a challenging part

for them because they are not used to the realization that their father is no longer in their

side. They can’t still accept that their father is not around anymore. According to her, her

father will be the first person they will see when they woke up in the morning and the last

person they will see before going to sleep. So of course, they will find the presence of

their father everyday but the hardest part is they can’t no longer be with their father. And

this is the challenge for them. Not feeling the presence of their loved ones.

Ms. Bato stated, “Yun yung, ano, parang pagnakikita ko si mama na

nahihirapan, nahihirapan din ako.” (it is when I see my mom on pain, it is like I’m also

in pain.) Most challenging part is when respondent see their family member hurting and

can’t do anything but just to comfort them. It is the challenging part for her. Seeing her
 25

mother in pain is like she’s in pain too. Of course no one wants to see their loved ones on

pain. It is really painful for an individual to see their family member in that situation.

Mr. Melegrito answered, “Yung maiisip ko bigla na wala na pala si mama ko.

Katulad ng ibang mga bata gusto ko may nanay din ako ganun, pero wala na.” (It is

when a realization will suddenly hit me that my mother is no longer there. Like the other

children I also want to have a mother but she’s already gone). It is the most challenging

part for him. He felt envy every time he’ll see another child that still have their mother.

He wants to have one but it is impossible because her mom is already gone.

On the other hand, Ms. Paraiso stated, “Wala naman. Yun lang pagiging

masayahin niya..” (Nothing. It just her jolly personality) Respondent didn’t say any

challenging part she faced. It is just the respondents misses the joyfulness of her loved

one. These respondents didn’t face any challenges when her loved one dies maybe

because she doesn’t have that much attachment towards her loved ones. It is possible not

to face any challenges when a loved one dies if you don’t have that much attachment

toward that person.

Ms. Samson stated that “Moving on. Yun lang.” (Moving on. That’s it.) The

same to Ms. Ruby Mae, “Yung tanggapin na Wala na siya.” (to accept the fact that he was

already gone.) They have difficulties on moving on because they are used to the care that

their mother gave them but now she’s gone. Nothing would make them feel the same

touch they feel in the arms of their mother. It is just hard for them to move on because the

death of their mother is really painful. Of course we all know that a mother plays an
 26

important role in a family but what if she’s suddenly gone? Of course it will be a

challenge that they need to face every day.

Most challenging part that Mrs. Quiambao faced was, “Para sa akin yun yung

binalita na wala na nga si papa ko. Siyempre 17 years ko siyang di nakita tapos

mababalitaan ko na lang wala na pala siya.” (For me it is when someone told me that

my father was already gone. Of course, I didn’t saw her for 17 years then I will just know

that he is already gone.) It is hard to accept that loved one was already gone especially

when they didn’t see them for a long time and they didn’t have any conversation before

their love one died.

2. Families cope up in the situation of being left by a loved one

Every bereaved family had different ways on how they’ll cope up in this kind of

situation. The respondents stated their experiences on how did they cope up on being

left by their loved ones.

Mr. Severino said, “Natanggap ko lang siya dahil Wala na siya, ah ako na yung

gumagawa ng lahat ngayon na dapat siyaang gumagawa” (I just accept the fact that she

is already gone. Now I am the one who’s doing the things that supposedly her duty.)

Acceptance is the coping strategy that the respondent did. Accepting the fact that their

loved one is already gone is really hard but it is the best solution. Like in the coping

strategy of Mr. Melegrito, he said that, “Maging masaya nalang kami kasi yun talaga.

Time nya na. Yun nay un.” (We just need to be happy for her. We couldn’t do anything

because It’s her time. That’s it.) it is also acceptance for him. They just choose to be
 27

happy and just accept the fact that their mother is already gone. Choosing to be happy

and accepting the fact that his mother is gone helps them to cope up.

Ms. Lacamento answered, "Noong una mahirap talaga na tanggapan na wala na

talaga sya, narealize ko nalang sya nung grade six siguro ako na wala na sya kase that

time may nakita akong isang family talaga na kumpleto sila na as in nung graduation

day, graduation day 'yon, tas iyak ako ng iyak kase dun ko narealize na ay wala na sya,

wala ng mag-aano sakin ganun, mama ko nalang nandito, sabi ko" (At first, it is really

hard for me to accept that he was really gone, I just realized it when I was in grade six

and I saw a whole family, I cried and I realize that he was really gone, my mom is the

only one who’s at my side.) Realization is the coping strategies that the respondent did.

Realizing that the loved one is no longer in their side help them cope up. Yes, it is hurt

for her when seeing a complete family but every time that realization would hit her she

just need to accept it. It is also acceptance for this respondent.

Mr. Espinosa said, "Yung iniisip ko nalang na wala na syang nararamdamang

sakit, yung nasa magandang place na sya kasama na nya si lolo ko, yun nga iniisip

namin na wala na syang dinaramdam na sakit" (When I think that she would not feel the

pain anymore, when she is already in heaven with my grandfather.) Respondent think that

the death of their loved one was better than seeing it alive but suffering. Thinking

positive is the coping mechanism of this respondent. Respondent is sad but on the other

hand, happy because the loved one is in the better place which is heaven. Like Ms.

Pangan said, "Tinanggap ko nalang kasi nung nasa ICU sya nun, yung parang hindi na

nya nilabanan kasi parang ayaw na nyang mahirapan pa kami sa pag-aalaga sakanya."

(I just accept it, because when she was in the ICU, it’s like she didn’t fight anymore
 28

because she doesn’t want us to suffer on taking care of her.) Loved one who died

accepted that they would be gone, and the family have to accept it, that their loved ones

doesn’t fight anymore because their one doesn’t want to make their family suffer on

taking care of them if ever they make it to live. And also just like the statement of Ms.

Paraiso, “Tinanggap namin dahil siya ay matanda na at ayaw ko na sya mahirapan,

dahil kung hindi namin matanggap baka mahirapan lang siya.” (we just accept the fact

that she is already gone and I don’t want her to suffer anymore because if we don’t accept

it, maybe she’ll just suffer) Death of loved one would have made the respondent feel

better where they can no longer see their loved one suffer in pain. Where Ms. Samson

said, “Moving on and acceptance lang talaga. Since nagpakamature kami at naging

open minded naging madali lang yun.” (Moving on and acceptance.) they became out for

them making their selves open minded and mature helps them tom cope up. It is also an

acceptance. The same to Ms. Gayla, respondent said that, “Iniisip ko nalang na lahat

naman tayo makakarating dun, nagkataon lang na nauna sila.” (I just think that all of us

will be gone, it is that my mother and father was gone first.)

Ms. Rivera answered, "Siguro syempre ano ahm...syempre lahat naman kami

magkakasama sa bahay, parang mas pinatatag nalang namin yung samahan namin para

at least hindi masakit para samin." (I think, of course our family is complete, we just

make our relationship stronger to at least lessen the pain.) coping strategy of the

respondent is the support of each member of family. They are only the one to face the

problem. Because they are close in their family they will guide each other to at least

lessen the pain in their hearts.

 29

Ms. Bato answered, “Nagfocus lang ako sa study kase yun yung gusto ni Papa ko

e, yun yung pangarap niya.” (I just focused on my study because that is what my father

want, that is his dream for me.) Respondent divert attention to study and take the death of

loved one as inspiration to fulfill the loved one want for the respondent. And just like Ms.

Ramos answered, “Unti-unti namin tinanggap na wala na siya. Dinivert ko atensyon ko

nagpakabusy ako sa buhay. Tapos lagi kong iniisip ung pangarap nya para sakin kaya

lalo ako nagpupursigi sa buhay.” (We accept that he was already gone in process. I

divert my attention, I made myself busy. I always think of his dream for me and that what

makes me pursue to continue my life.) Coping strategy of respondent was making self-

busy and think of the dream of loved ones for them and persuaded to be much stronger in

life. Ms. Taguinod stated that, “Ginawa naming busy yung mga sarili namin sa mga

tarabahong kailangan naming gawin.” (we made our self-busy in our work that we need

to do.) Diverting attention was one of the coping strategy where they can’t feel the pain

and don’t think of loved one when they are busy.

Ms. Sison stated that, “Di namin masysdong inaalala yung mga bagay na

makakapagpaalala samin sa kanya. At first mahirap talaga pero kailangan naming

tanggapin atsaka lagi kaming lumalabas.” (We don’t think too much other things that

will remind us of him. At first, it is really hard but we need to accept it and we always

went everywhere.) Acceptance and diverting their attention to other things is also their

coping mechanism. Going out with their family helps them to cope up because it diverts

their attention to other things. For them it is better to go out than to think so much of her

father.
 30

On the other hand, Mrs. Quiambao said that, “Inalala nalang namin yung mga

masasayang araw ni papa noong nabubuhay pa siya tsaka acceptance lang kasi wala ka

ng magagawa kundi tanggapin talaga na wala na siya.” (We just think of the happy

memories when he was still alive and just acceptance because you can’t do anything

about it.) Unlike others, they said that they don’t think of their loved one to cope up with

the situation, but in this, the respondent think of happy thoughts when her loved one is

still alive and also acceptance that their loved one was already gone. She said that it is the

better to cope up. To accept everything because you cannot do anything.

Losing a loved one is hard and there is a person that probably would not accept it.

Just like Ms. Ruby Mae statement, "Oo sobrang hirap talaga kase syempre Mahal mo

siya ng sobra tapos Wala na siya agad saamin. Di ko talaga tanggap. Pero ayun nga

inisip nalang namin na mas nasa mabutig kalagayan na siya ngayon." (Yes, it is really

hard to accept because you love him too much and then he’s already gone. I can’t really

accept it. But that’s it. We just think that he is in a better place now.) She can’t accept it

but she doesn’t have a choice. Thinking that her loved is in better place now where in

there her loved one will not suffer. It helps them to cope up.

3.Death of loved one affect the behavior and physical health of the bereaved

family

Death of loved ones will surely have the effect on the physical health and behavior of

bereaved families. Respondents stated if death of loved one has affect their behavior and

physical health.
 31

According to Ms. Lacamento on answering the question if the death of loved one

affect the behavior and physical health, respondent said that "Siguro oo, kase nung

malaman ko yun, yung parang naging pabaya ako sa sarili ko tapos yung kapatid ko,

lagi kong iniisip. Kasi yung kapatid ko nun, pag naaalala nya si papa, bigla nalang

siyang iiyak.” (maybe yes, because when I found out that my father was gone, it's like I

became careless to myself and I always thinking about my sibling. Because my sibling,

every time he remembers our father, he cries.) The respondent was affected by the death

of loved one where their behavior became irresponsible and affect the physical health by

not taking good of self and didn’t think the effect of it.

On the other hand, Mr. Espinosa said that, "Hindi naman, mas naging closed

kami sa family namin kase yun, yung lagi nyang sinasabi na wag kaming mag away-

away." (No, because my family became more close and that was my grandmother told us

to not to fight with each other.) It was said that death of loved ones did not affect their

physical health and behavior but they became more disciplined. The same as Ms. Rivera,

the family became more closed to each other because of that situation. Ms. Rivera said

that, "Hindi naman, actually parang mas naging close pa kami lahat dun sa nagyari."

(not really, actually we became closer to each other because of that event.) for these

respondents it did not affect their physical health and behavior. Because they think that if

their health will ruin another member of the family will suffer again.

Ms. Pangan stated that, "Oo, lalo na syempre araw-araw namin syang kasama,

wala yung parang tinatamlay na kami, halos parang pag naiisip namin sya napapaiyak

nalang kami nung time na yun kaso natanggap na namin na masaya na sya." (Yes,

especially she is always with us, and we are not in the mood, when we think of her we
 32

can’t do nothing but just to cry. But eventually we accept that she is happy now.) The

behavior was affected wherein they are not in the mood and always crying and it affect

the physical health by it.

Too much thinking about the death of their loved one will really affect their

behavior and physical health. Just like what Ms. Taguinod said, “Sa physical health ko

pumayat ako ng konti dahil sa hina kong kumain, sa behavior ko naman parang araw-

araw wala ako sa sarili ko.” (In my physical health, I lose weight because I can’t eat

properly, in my behavior, I’m not in myself every day.) Just like Ms. Taguinod, Ms.

Gayla also said that it was affected the physical by not eating that much. Respondent

said, “Nung una, wala akong gana kumain at parang ayoko na idilat mga mata ko.” (at

first, I can’t eat properly and it was like I don’t want to wake up.)

The result of being left gave a sudden change in feelings and emotions. “Sa

physical health ko wala naman gaanong effect masyado pero sa behavior ko naging

maiinitin lang yung ulo ko nung bago palang na wala na siya” (there is no effect in my

physical health, but in my behavior, I became short tempered person.), Mrs, Quiambao

said.

Instead of ruining their health, they just open their minds and made their selves

mature so it could not totally affect their health. If they did not become mature and open

minded they’ll just suffer and their lives may totally have ruined. Ms. Samson said

“Nawalaan kami ng gana sa pagkain. Sa behavior naging tahimik kami pero sa una lang

yun. Since nagpakamature kami at naging open minded naging madali lang yun.” (we

lost our appetite. In our behavior, we became silent, but since we are matured enough, it
 33

just became easy.) Just like Ms. Samson, Mr. Buhanhin said that it affected his physical

health but he need to be strong for his family especially for the son. Respondent said,

"Oo syempre naapektuhan, pero naisip ko na kailangan kong magpakatatag para sa

anak namin si sev, na kailangan kong maging malakas, nawalan na nga ng nanay yung

anak ko pati ba naman ako hahayaan ko na lang na mawala ako? Syempre Hindi kaya

kailangan kong tanggapin na Wala na talaga siya.” (of course, but I have to be strong for

my son, my son had lost her mom and I would not let that I will also be taken away from

him, I have to accept that she is already gone.)

Bereaved person reacts differently when the loved one died. As what Mr.

Melegrito stated, “Hindi naman. Kalungkutan lang.Tapos tahimik kami nung una ”

Respondent said that it doesn’t affect their physical, it just in the behavior wherein they

are always sad and became silent person at first.

When the death of their loved one is still new, of course their mind is still clouded

with memories of their loved ones. Ms. Sison said, “Di ako nakakain ng maayos

masyado pa fresh yung pagkamatay. Dika kumakain ng maayos tapos kulang lagi tulog

ganon.” (I can’t eat that much because the death of my loved one was still fresh in my

mind. I can’t eat that much and my sleeping hour was not complete.) The same as Ms.

Ramos statement, “Oo, ung parang nawalan ako ng gana kumain at nahihirapan akong

matulog kasi iniisip ko sya.” (yes, it’s like I lost my appetite and I’m having a hard time

to sleep because I always think of him.) it is the effect of their loved ones on their

physical health. It affects their physical health because they think too much of their loved

ones. The same as what Ms. Paraiso said, “Sa akin hindi, kay tita ko, oo, kasi iniisip niya
 34

yung pagkawala ni lola ko.”. The respondent was not affected but the family member

which is aunt, was affected and couldn’t eat that much.

Ms. Bato said, “Noong ano, nung Una Oo sobra, di makakain ng maayos kase

nung ano kase kasama mo siya tapos Ikaw lang kumakain ganun, di kayo kompleto.

Nung nagkasakit si papa ko, naging hands on ako sa kanya.” There is no effect in the

behavior of respondents but there is an effect in their physical health where in the

respondent can’t eat that much because they used to eat together with their loved one.

4.Changes in their family after the death of loved one

When one member of a family died it would really would had a change in their

family. Researcher asked their experiences if there is a changes in the family after the

death of loved one.

Mr. Buhanhin stated, “Ay malaki, Ang nangyaring pagbabago mas naging, hmm kase

nung Una Ay talagang kampante ako na merong sasalo sakin andiyan asawa ko, siya

yung nag aayos ng lahat ng financial, ah problem namin, ngayon ako lahat so ayon yung

pagbabago sakin. "I HAVE TO BE THE MOTHER and FATHER, so mother- father

ako.” (many things, the changes were, before I was confident that I have my wife at my

back, she’s the one who solves our problem, but now, that’s the changes. I have to be the

mother at the same time father.) Changes in the family is that they have to do the

obligation left of loved one who died. They have to be responsible enough to do their

responsibility by their self without the help of loved one.

 35

Ms. Lacamento was asked if the death of loved one affect their family and the

respondent said, "Noong sigurong una oo naapektuhan, pero nung nawala na yung iba ni

mama, parang naging mas focused na si mama saaming mga anak nya." (at first I was

affected, but then, my mother became more focus to us when they separated of her

second partner) Changes was the mother had another partner but when they separated her

mother focused her attention to them.Giving more time and attention. And just like Ms.

Ruby Mae, the mother got another partner. Respondent sated that, "Oo meron tulad ng

ano dati Hindi ko pa tanggap na Wala na si Papa ko tapos naghanap ng iba yung mama

ko." (it has changes, it’s like before that I can’t accept that my father was already gone

and my mother got another partner.)

On the other hand, death of loved can result to no changes. "Wala naman, yun parin

yung nakaugalian naming gawin nung nandun pa sya.” (nothing, it’s also like the things

we do when he’s still alive.), Mr. Espinosa said. The same to Mrs. Quiambao, “Ganoon

parin naman. Wala namang nagbago. Yung closeness namin ganun parin kahit na

malayo ako sa kanila eh ramdam ko parin yung pagiging close namin.” (It still the same.

There are no changes. The closeness remains the same.) Also, Mr. Melegrito said that

there’s no changes in their family the same to Ms. Paraiso as well as Ms. Gayla. These

respondents don’t have changes in their family because they don’t want the death of their

loved one be the cause of their family ruin.

Ms. Pangan said that, “Oo, yun nga katulad nung sinabi ko kanina, parang nawala

yung saya sa bahay nung nawala sya." (yes, just like what I said, the joy in the house had

faded.) Changes is that they used to be with their loved ones and when the loved one

died, they became sad and not used with it. Changes in family is hard especially when
 36

they used to see their family complete. Ms. Rivera said, "Madami, yung mga kapatid ko

parang...ngayon kase may mga asawa na silang lahat as in, tapos si Papa syempre

parang kami nalang dalawa sa bahay ganun, tapos sila may mga pamilya na." (many

things, my siblings have their own family then we, my father, the only one who left in the

house.) The changes are now her and her father are only in the house. They are not used

to this because before her siblings are always in their house but now that their mother is

dead her siblings doesn’t go often on their house.

Positive changes can be seen in the family after the death of loved one. Ms. Bato said,

“Wala naman, kung meron man yun yung parang mas naging malapit kami sa isat isa.”

(Nothing and if there’s a changes, maybe it’s the thing that we became much closer to

each other.) Closeness is one of the changes in the family. The same to Ms. Sison, they

became much closer to each other. They support and guide each other. Respondent stated

that, "Mas lalong naging close pa kami sa isa’t-isa. Naisip kasi namin nasa kami kami

nalang so kailangan naming magtulungan.” Also, Ms. Taguinod said, “Noong una wala

kaming pakialaman pero habang tumatagal naman mas naging close kami.” (at first, we

do not care to each other, but then we became much closer.) Opposite of it was becoming

aloof after the death of loved one as same to Ms. Samson, where the respondent said

that, “Medyo di na naging close yung family gaano but it’s okay.” (we Became aloof to

each other but it’s okay.)

Ms. Ramos said, “Nung nawala siya parang kulang na kulang talaga ako. Yung

pangarap ko na makasayaw siya sa debut ko wala na. Nawala na lahat ng pangarap

kong kasama siya. Kaya sobrang laki ng pagbabago sa buhay ko nung nawala siya.”

(when he was gone, I feel incomplete. We can’t do my dream to have a dance with him in
 37

my debut. It has really a big change into me when he died.) Changes was they feel

incomplete, not in the numbers of member of family but in the love and support of loved

one into them.

Chapter 5

SUMMARY, CONCLUSION AND RECOMMENDATION

This chapter presents the summary of findings, conclusion and recommendations of

the study to the respondent’s experiences on being left by their loved one.
 38

SUMMARY

The analysis of the data yielded the following sets of findings based from the

gathered data of the researchers from the respondents.

1. Most challenging part of being left by a loved one.

Being left by loved ones is really hard. Before bereaved families overcome this

adversity they need first to face the most challenging part. Facing the most challenging

part of being left by a loved is one of the process they need to surpass in able for them to

overcome this adversity. Respondents challenging part was some have to take over the

family and take the obligation left by their loved ones. Some had faced into family

problem where the parents got another partner. Others are seeing their loved ones suffer

in pain was their most challenging part. Some are not used to take everyday life without

their loved ones. Some respondents envy family who are complete. Other said moving on

and trying to forget the pain is the challenging part.

2. Families cope up in the situation of being left by a loved one

Coping up in the situation of being left by a loved one is also one of the hardest thing to

do for those bereaved families. In coping up they will need to do all the things they need

to do just to divert their attention to other things. It is hurt for them not to think about

their loved ones but they need to do this so they can cope up and move on to the next

chapter of their life where their loved ones are no longer in their side. Most of the

respondents used doing different activities and acceptance as a way of coping up. It found

out that thru doing different activities it helps them to cope up easily because they can

divert they attention on what they are doing instead of always thinking their loved ones.
 39

And also the acceptance. It found out that bereaved families can easily cope up if they

accept the death of their loved ones wholeheartedly. For them accepting the fact that their

loved ones are really gone helps them to cope up. But one respondent said that she can’t

sill accept that her loved one was already gone.

3. Death of loved one affect the behavior and physical health of the bereaved

family

Death of loved one will really affect their physical health and behavior.

Maybe for other it will not affect them. Most of them didn’t give importance at eating

when their loved one death is still fresh. They lost their appetite in short. This is cause

by thinking too much of their loved ones, by thinking too much the memoirs of their

loved ones and thinking too much about what will happen next to them now that their

loved ones are gone. Physical health and behavior was the most affected when an

adversity like this come into everyone’s life. It found out that most of the bereaved

families lost their appetite when eating. Their eating patterns change after the death of

their loved ones. Some loss their weight after the death of their loved ones. But there

are some bereaved persons where their physical health was not affected. It found out

also that after the death of loved ones, the most affected person will change their

behavior. Some people became short tempered, some respondents care themselves

less because they think that their life is nonsense because of the death of their loved

ones. Some loss their senses because of thinking too much of their loved ones.

Physical health and behavior was also affected when an adversity like this come into

everyone’s life. But other said it didn’t affect their physical health and behavior.
 40

4. Changes in their family after the death of loved one

Death of loved ones in a family will really affect the relationships of each

member of the family. It can be a positive change or negative change. It is upon

the members of the family if they still want to be a whole family or broken

family. Most of respondents became close to each other after the death of their

loved ones but there are some respondents that their family members became

aloof to each other. Some said that their family change when their mother or

father had another partner and other said nothing had change in their family.

Conclusion

In the light of the forgoing findings, the following conclusions were derived:

1. Most challenging part of being left by a loved one.

It is found that facing the challenging part of being left by their loved ones is really

hard. Every bereaved family had different challenges in their life. It made them suffer

because of the problems they had after the death of their loved ones. Although it is hard

to face the most challenging part they still managed to face this in order for them to move

on. That in facing these challenges they need to be strong to be able to overcome this

adversity. It’s up for them if will take this challenge a positive way to overcome or to

make it a negative way. Yes, it will make them suffer at first but when the time came

when an adversity like this come it is easy for them to accept it. They will not get rid to

the fact that it is really hard at first but because they take this challenges as a positive way

it will be easy for them to face it when it happens again.

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2. Families cope up in the situation of being left by a loved one

Bereaved families used different ways or strategies on coping up. They used

different activities as a way of coping up. These activities help them to divert their

attention to other things. It is better to divert their attention to other things than to think

too much about the death of their loved ones. They used these coping mechanism as a

way of moving on. Although they had different ways on how to cope up it just lead them

to one goal and that is to finally overcome the adversity they are experiencing.

3. Death of loved one affect the behavior and physical health of the bereaved

family

Aside for the family members that had affected by the death of their loved ones it is also

their physical health and behavior that was been affected. Death of loved ones will really

affect their physical health and behavior. But it is their own choice if they want the death

of their loved ones to be the cause of ruining their health. Death of loved ones affect

physical health and behavior because it is their total sum of emotions and too much

thinking about their loved ones. It affects their physical health and behavior because of

thinking too much about their loved ones. While for the others said that it doesn’t affect

their physical health and behavior is because they don’t think too much of their loved

ones. They think first that what if their physical health and behavior ruined another

family member will suffer. It will just add some burden to their family if their physical

health and behavior ruined. It is upon the person if they will let the death of their loved

one be the cause of their sickness. Just think that their loved ones above doesn’t want bad

things happen to them. They should just think that their loved is already in peace. Where

in their loved ones would not feel the pain they suffered when they are still here in earth
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fighting for their lives. They should take care of themselves because they can be the new

source of strength of their family.

4. Changes in their family after the death of loved one

Changes in their family after the death of their loved ones. After the death of their loved

ones it may change the relationships of the members of the family. It is found that this

changes are not just only because of the death of their loved ones but also it is cause by

all the emotions of each members of the family after the death of their love ones. That

death of loved ones not just only affect their physical heath and behavior but also it

affects the relationships of the family. For the families that has changes in their family

wherein the members of the family became aloof to each other is because every member

of the family that has left by their loved ones has their own feelings or own perspective

towards the death of their loved ones and because they have own feelings and perspective

and it is hard to unite if everyone in the family doesn’t have the same understanding and

perspective towards the death of their loved ones. And for those families that became

much close to each other after the death of their love ones is because they have the same

understanding and perspective. Vice versa of those family who became aloof to each

other. Death of loved ones in family may cause family conflict where the relationship of

the members in the family might not be that close before the death of their loved ones.

For the bereaved families who are experiencing this, they should maintain good

communication towards each other. So they can talk about their perceptions, on what

they are thinking now that their loved ones are no longer with them or how do they feel

about it. Each member of the bereaved families should open up so they can talk about the

things that are running in their minds. They should also express their feelings or affection
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towards the death of their loved may help so their relationships towards each might not

be affected too much.

RECOMMENDATIONS

Based from the findings of the study the following recommendations are hereby

presented.

For the families who are facing challenges on the death of their loved ones, they

should take that challenges into a positive way. Because if they take it in a negative way,

it would just come up into another problem that might lead them to face another tough

challenge. They should think that, that challenges are just given to them just to test if they

can pass through that given problem. They should take challenges as a test that they need

to surpass in able to cope up in the adversity they are experiencing

Coping up, it is better to divert their attention to other things to avoid them in too

much thinking about what happened to their loved ones, and they must do a lot of things

that will not remind them of being left, so that, it can lessen the pain that they were

experiencing and can lead them to move on easily and it will probably help them to get

over to that adversity.

For their physical health and behavior, they should not think too much about the

death of their loved ones and they should take care of themselves. Yes, they cannot get

rid of that, but they should also think about their health first. Because, if their health

would be affected too much another family member might suffer again.
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For changes, instead of ruining their relationship with each family member and

themselves, they should support each other, because nothing would help them except

their own.
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