LESSON 13

RELATIONSHIP

STEP 8
"We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to
them all."
1 Peter 3:11
He must turn away from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it.

THINK ABOUT IT
Relationship is a big word and it covers all sorts of human connections. It you have a
friend, a sibling, a parent or a child, a cousin, a coworker, a neighbor, or just about any
other person in your life, and you maintain a connection with that person, you have a
relationship. You are indeed "in a relationship."
In fact, we cannot run away from having a relationship. We need to constantly manage
these links and interactions, whether they are meaningful, constructive or negative.
The first seven steps of our previous lessons provided the means through which our
relationship with God is restored. This restoration however, can only be complete if we
are willing to restore our relationships with others.
The exercises in Step 4 focused on our interaction with other people, especial our
family, helping us see how our behavior affected our relationship with them and vice
versa. After reflecting on what transpired, we learned to be accountable for our actions
through Confession in Step 5, which is another type of relationship we must develop
Steps 6 and 7 focused on the product of our habits and dysfunctional patterns that
molded our character. As we became aware of them we ask God to remove them using
His methods.
Step 8 will expand on our Step 4 inventory with our focus shifting on people we have
harmed rather than on the moral failures we committed.

A. WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE PERFECT?

The cost of following Jesus Christ called for us to rise above the ordinary. In fact, in His
famous Sermon on the Mount, Jesus focused more on relationships
Matthew 5:46-48
For it you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax
collectors do the same? If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than
others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Therefore you are to be perfect, as your
heavenly Father is perfect.
The word "perfect" in this passage means one who has reached the end or their
intended goal.
 The usage refers to the maturity of an adult, which is the result or aim to which
the child should be directed. Thus, it denotes those who have fully developed
their essential character, in contrast to those who are still in the undeveloped
state.
 In the context of the verse, the writer of Matthew refers to the maturity of the
person who follows Jesus in handling relationships.
The apostle Peter further wrote about the importance of relationship in
1 Peter 3:11
He must turn away from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it.
 Peter emphasized that one should “pursue peace" actively, not just passively.
Pursue means to run after, chase, and press for.
 So.according to this verse, to “do good” is to seek peace actively. Literally. it
pictures the binding or joining again of that which had been separated or divided
and thus setting as one again.

B. WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO MAKE AMENDS?

Making amends is not as simple as apologizing, paying back stolen money, or
correcting an exaggeration or a lie. The Lord talked to Moses and said
Numbers 5:5-7
…Speak to the sons of Israel, "When a man or woman commits any of the sins of
mankind, acting unfaithfully against the Lord, and that person is guilty, then he shall
confess his sins which he has committed, and he shall make restitution in full for his
wrong and add to it one-fifth of it, and give it to him whom he has wronged."
These verses suggest that saying “I’m sorry" is not enough. God included restitution, a
unique concept in those days, as part of His law for Israel.
Restitution means making good of or giving an equivalent for some injury or something
taken. The action therefore means to pay back, to pay back, to pay damages, to
compensate for and, in this verse, to "add to it one-fifth of the damage.
 Genuine repentance leads to a desire to redress wrongs.
  The idea of "whenever possible" is crucial to remember. There are some sins for
which there is no adequate restitution. In such instances, we should make some
form of restitution that demonstrates repentance, but at the same time, we should
not feel guilty about our inability to make full restitution.
 When we have wronged others, we ought to do more than apologize. Restitution
may be a part of repentance. Both repentance and making amends involve
humility Thus, making amends may be a positive evidence of genuine
repentance.
 Going back to our inventory in Step 4 will help us acknowledge our
responsibilities tor our actions. But we cannot truly make amends until we've
experienced the hurt we have caused others and ourselves.

C. HOW DO WE APPLY THIS LESSON?

We have no control over other people and their response to us. Step 8 is not intended
to identity people who dislike us or get them to change their minds and feelings about
us. It is also critical to remember that when we take responsibility for the harm we have
done, we do not justify the harm that others have done to us.
When we make amends, it is important to examine our own motives and conduct. We
are not to use it as an opportunity to manipulate or take advantage of the situation but to
make an honest-to-goodness restitution and not be hypocritical about it. Jesus focused
a lot on the conduct of our relationship when He said
It is for our own best interest to make amends to all people we have harmed. However,
in Step 9, we will learn that it might not always be prudent to actually make amends to
some of them; but it is critical for our spiritual growth to become willing.
Last, when we make amends, we must remember that rebuilding a relationship will
always touch on the soul of other person because the soul is the essence of humanity.
It is who we are. Our indiscretion, words, and actions have significantly affected him in
the past and therefore, we should not take their feelings and emotions tor granted.
But the most indispensable advantage of it all is that our relationship with God through
Jesus would grow and prosper to perfection.