Subject: ​Samantha

Age​: 20
Education: ​In college

Samantha: ​I’m going to be frank here: I don’t think there is

anything special about me. In fact, I was surprised when you
said you wanted me to do this. Your interest in me caught me off
guard. Then again, I suppose you were interested in the “normal
girl” so I suppose I’m the perfect candidate for that.

Look, when I hear people say “I’m not like other girls” I assume
it’s sarcastic. It’s such a dumb phrase, I can hardly imagine
someone saying it with all seriousness. I know I haven’t. It’s a
stupid phrase that only boxes people in while they think they’re
being set free. It’s futile.

Like- you know the term ‘basic’? I hate it. It’s used as an
insult on girls so they stop enjoying popular things; pumpkin
spice, Hamilton, Starbucks, selfies, etcetera. It’s ridiculous.
Seriously what kind of
societal-pressure-we’re-gonna-tell-you-what-to-like bull**** is
that?

If you understood absolutely nothing about what I just said,

then understand this: people shouldn’t be put into personality
boxes and girls should be allowed to enjoy things without
everyone- including other girls- mocking them. It’s dumb.
Subject: ​Elyse
Age: ​16
Education: ​In highschool

Elyse: ​You’ve known me for how long now? Since kindergarten,

right? Well- technically we didn’t hang out until the second
grade. Either way, you should know me by now, right?

Alright, alright, I’ll stop dodging the question. My name is

Elyse, born and raised in Arizona, blonde, 5’7”, yadda yadda. I
was never popular with people, though I suppose I am kinda the
leader of our old elementary school squad. Not by choice really,
but I guess it just kinda happened.

“Not like other girls”? Ugh, don’t get me started. First thing
that pops into my head is edgy Tumblr girls from 2013 that are
full of internalized misogyny- yeah that’s right, I know what
that means. I’m educated.

Have I ever said it? Well… yeah. It’s hard for me to think of
someone who hasn’t. Heck, I’m pretty sure our whole friend group
in elementary school thought they were “not like other girls”
too. We weren’t particularly feminine, except maybe you, and we
thought we were better. Plus, with the rise of calling girls
basic, we wanted to make sure we weren’t called that. I’ve tried
to grow past caring if I get called it now, I just try to ignore
it and like what I like for the most part.

I think that sums up my experiences pretty well: it bothered me

in the past but I’m trying to grow out of it now through
educating myself. Knowing it’s a stupid and limiting mindset is
half the battle if I’m honest. The terms and mindset that come
with are bad, plain and simple. It’s best to try to purge it
from your mind as soon as you catch yourself thinking about it.
Subject: ​Cadyn
Age: ​16
Education: ​In highschool

Cadyn: ​I know I technically shouldn’t be doing this, I’m not a

girl, but I’m always happy to help a friend out. Plus, I did
spend the first 15 years of my life as a girl, so I think it
works out.

Okay, a quick intro: My name is Cadyn, they/them pronouns, all

that jazz. My likes are anime, drawing, reading, and yeah.

First thought when I hear the phrase “I’m not like other girls”
is that the girl thinks having a “unique” personality makes her
so special and deserving of having a boyfriend, friends,
popularity, and whatnot. They think they’re so special for not
being particularly feminine or popular, which is just… ugh. The
idea or denotation of "not being like other girls" is positive
because being unique is something that should always be a good
thing. Meanwhile, the connotation of "not like other girls" is
bad because it refers to those who think they are better than
everyone else often through slut-shaming and other not great
things.

Have I referred to myself as “not like other girls”? Well, yeah.

I’m nonbinary. I quite literally am not like other girls because
I’m not even a girl at all. Before realizing that though?
Definitely, especially when I was thirteen to fourteen. I blame
mainstream media.

One thing I will say about internalized misogyny is that I feel

like, as a nonbinary person, that there’s a certain pressure to
dress more masculinely to ‘prove’ you’re nonbinary. I hate it. I
feel like it just pushes the idea that femininity is bad,
masculinity good or that masculinity is the “default” or
“neutral” state of being. I just want to wear lipstick and feel
pretty dammit. Makeup and clothes shouldn’t have gender
associated with them, and if I dress more femininely that does
not give anyone the right to assume I’m lying about being enby.
I just… it’s frustrating, to say the least.
Subject: ​Anonymous
Age: ​redacted
Education: ​In highschool

Anonymous: ​When I hear someone refer to themselves as “not like

other girls” I assume one of two things: Either they want to
be/are only friends with guys, or they just hate drama. Depends
on what their explanation is. However, I think no matter how
they explain it, it’s evident they think lowly of “other” or
“normal” girls (though normal is a subjective term by nature).

Have I ever used that term? Yes, when I was nine or so. I knew I
was attracted to both girls and boys when I was young, and
coming out to my sister at 9, then my mom at 12 put that in my
mind a long time ago. I don’t think it was because I looked down
on them, I just knew deep down that I really was different.

Is being called basic an insult? Well, being basic isn’t bad,

but the term is used as an insult to attack popular things in
teen girl culture. Basically, if you do something
popular/mainstream, you’re basic. Sorry.

Do I have internalized misogyny? Well… maybe. If I do, I don’t

think it’s outright. It’s probably more subtle. After all, I
have called girls basic before, so I know I have something I
need to work on. Besides, I know this is anonymous but I don’t
know if I would tell you if I knew I did anyway. I mean, it’s
not like I know you or anything. Just thought I’d be honest.
Subject: ​Anonymous
Age: ​redacted
Education: ​In highschool

Anonymous: ​I’ve never heard anyone say “I’m not like other
girls”. I’m serious. I’ve never heard of it. Though, if you’re
asking me what I think it means I think it just means that
they’re not as touchy as other girls, you know? Like- they
aren’t as feminine. I think it’s a good thing: it’s a way to
separate yourself from everyone else. It’s especially good if
the girls around you aren’t successful.

Have I ever thought I was “not like other girls”? I think so,
though it was a long time ago. I’ve been friends with opposites
to my own personality my whole life, so I’ve always considered
myself different. I mean, social media also helps, but I’m sure
you already know that. Overall though, I think my girliness sets
me apart.

I’ve never called a girl basic. Many girls act differently in an

effort to stand out, and some just are themselves and I can
respect that. Plus, basic is such a fluid term to me. It really
just depends on what’s popular at the time. Have you seen anyone
wearing uggs lately? Exactly. It’s sad really.
Subject: ​Brit
Age: ​20
Education: ​In college

Brit: ​Honestly, I feel really bad for girls who refer to

themselves as “not like other girls”. Maybe that’s the adult in
me speaking, acting like I’m all old and stuff, but I think it’s
sad. They’re just victims of the twisted misogynistic system. I
would know, I did the same when I was a pre-teen.

Not to sound like a boomer, but I really think the media around
me almost forced me to think like that. The media I consumed
made it seem like girls could only be one way: blonde,
brainless, skinny, so beautiful it looks fake, and only caring
about superficial things that didn’t matter in the end. The
media made it seem like it was bad to be that way.

I think this whole “hiii” girl versus “bruh” girl debate is

absurd, and just another way to pit girls against each other.
Men are again trying to make it seem like all women fit within
one of two categories. Newsflash, that’s not how humans work.
People are so diverse and broad in terms of their personality
that it’s stupid to try to fix them into a nice little box. I’ve
seen feminine women who cuss, I’ve seen masculine women pick
flowers. So stop hating on girls for liking popular things and
just let people be people. So long as they aren’t hurting
anyone, it’s fine.

I’m gonna be real here: I used to have a really bad case of

internalized misogyny, but I don’t anymore. I’ve grown up,
embraced my feminine side, and I don’t put girls into groups.
Sure there are some women I don’t like, just like there are some
men I don’t like but now it’s based on individuals instead of
superficial categories, and I think that’s an important note to
make. You can not like people, but if you base it on their looks
or what group they’re supposedly in, then you have a problem.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely not perfect, there have been
times I’ve caught myself starting to judge someone on how they
look. But overall I am past my ‘I’m not like other girls’ phase,
and thank god for that.
Subject: ​Anonymous
Age: ​redacted
Education: ​In highschool

Anonymous: ​Oh god, not “I’m not like other girls” syndrome. That
phrase just gives me flashbacks to when I was twelve and thought
I was “so quirky” and bleh. It’s such a toxic phrase. Its whole
purpose is to bring other women down because of your own
internalized misogyny. I hate it. I hate that I used to say it.

I didn't have many friends when I was younger, and I kinda was
into Pinterest/Tumblr things so I was seeing a lot of "I’m not
like other girls" posts, and I was friends with a lot of boys.
This brought me up to believe that being friends with boys was
somehow easier and better than being friends with girls. It made
me look down on them, which is just sad looking back.

Based on my experience with having a “not like other girls”

mentality and later completely changing how I think, I think
this mentality is toxic even if you aren't a bully or going out
of your way to be mean. It's a way for girls to put other girls
down just for their interests. I think it's something that is
often an undercurrent in a lot of the media young girls consume
or they are exposed to that mentality through having parents
with misogynistic ideas.

I feel like I used to think like that because I was really

immature. I think after surrounding myself with better people
and being aware that that was a bad way to think about other
girls I was able to completely change how I judge other women.
Isn’t there a famous quote that says something like “knowing is
half the battle”? Yeah, that’s basically how I feel about this.