Current Script for Guidelines Sketch:

C: Did you hear about the government making COVID-19 to reduce population?
B: Oh, it’s just a hoax!
*C & B turn on TV*
L: Welcome to the 6 o’clock update on the Government guidelines in the West Midlands.
A: The main symptoms of the Coronavirus consist of a high temperature, a change in your sense
of smell or taste, or a new continuous cough.
*Movement*
A: If you develop these symptoms, however mild, or you have received a positive Coronavirus
test result, then you should immediately self-isolate – stay at home for at least ten days from
when your symptoms started.
C & B: Ten days?!
L: And if you live with others, they must isolate for 14 days.
C & B: Fourteen Days?!
B: Do they not know that Coronavirus started in 1976?!
C: That must’ve been how the Simpsons caught wind of it so quickly!
B: I guess Trump’s next then!
L: You must now wear face masks in public spaces, including public transport, unless exempt for
age or medical reasons.
*B puts some tinfoil on her face, kind of like a mask*
C: Don’t wear face masks! They don’t work anyway, and you can’t breathe. *signals for B to put
it on her head*
*B puts it on her head*
A: You are also strongly encouraged to wear face coverings in other enclosed spaces where
social distancing may be difficult - *starts glitching*
*C & B come over and kick the stage blocks*
A: - and where you would encounter people you do not normally meet.
L: Up next, are 5G towers being placed in your area?
*C & B turn the TV off*
B: Do you know what?
C: Do you know what?
B: You know these 5G towers?
C: These 5G towers?
B: And this Coronavirus?
C: And this Coronavirus?
B & C: Bit of a coincidence they’re happening at the same time!
B: I think the radio wave from the 5G towers caused this Coronavirus!
C: I guess we’ll have to wait for the next Simpsons episode.