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    Cracked 142

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    THE MOST WANTED KONG POSTER! 1343H NO ‘ONION Si onintawos IN THIS ISSUE: (a wie nota Se WHAT'S UP FRONT e \ Na yb OUR COVER THE WORLD'S HUMOREST FUNNY MAGAZINE That's it fellas, fix the ole boy up! Sylvester ROBERT C. SPROUL, edior and publisher ‘Smythe was gonna be on this cover, but Kong was teasin’ him during cover rehear- JOE CATALANO, GEORGE GLADIR sais, so Sylvester put the bite on his hand. CHARLES BROWN. BOB RAFFERTY, writers JOHN SEVERIN. BILL WARD (Our itie lost planet janitor should be re- SURURI GUMEN, DON OREHEK, entering the earth gravitational pullin about HOWARD NOSTRAND, 342 more revolutions. We'll keep you JON SMIIHT. pucet seer oa SYLVESTER P! SMYTHE, janitor CONTENTS M*U*S*H This one’s armed and loaded with laughs! 6 ONE DATE AT ATIME Make room on your calendar for this one!. 38 ONE DAY ATA RAILROAD CROSSING We'll train you to laugh! 29 ONE DAY IN A WASHINGTON, D.C. SCHOOL Enroll your own pupils here for a spell! 25 FREE BONUS POSTER! Carefully detach complete cover at staples and poster is ready for hanging! CRACKED INTERVIEWS THE FAD KING Humor that's here today and still here tomorrow!...... 45 HOW TO RUN YOUR HOME USING NO ELECTRICAL POWER Where we answer the question; watt crisis? ......, 30 ACRACKED LOOK AT AN AMUSEMENT AREA Where playing ames makes “cents” forsome! .., 26 ‘THE CRACKED GUIDE TO FRIZBEE ‘More sporting advice thrown your way! 12 REDOING THE EVENING NEWS ‘And here's the way it is! 18 THE CRACKED GUIDE TO BASKETBALL Be a good sport and read this one first!. -. 33 CRACKED Magazine Is published monthly except February, April, June, and copyright 1977 by Major Magazines Inc. 235 Park SECOND CLASS POSTAGE palgat Naw York N-Y-nd ada 7 MAJOR MAGAZINES INC. Allright ADDRESS ALL LETTERS TO CRACKED LETTUCE, 235 PARK AVENUE SOUTH, LX. N.Y. 10003, LETTUCE from our Readers DEAR CRACKED, How many different languages does your editorial staff speak fluently? Vincent Lopez Ceder City, Utah Dear Vincent, ‘Counting English—None! DEAR CRACKED, ike your annuals a lotand especially loved SUPER CRACKED # 10. Sarah Lee Globe, Arizona Dear Sarah, ‘And, we love your cakes! DEAR CRACKED, Is Sylvestar a Scorpio or a Libra? Duane Dobson Gary, Indiana Dear Duane, Neither—he’s a janitor! a yl How come your SUPER CRACKEDS H, cost $1007 yh Lennie Shapiro Brom, NY Dear Lennie, Because we haven't the nerve to DEAR CRACKED, You said that you'd never printa letter from me and you did. (Issue #140) How Come? ‘Amos Suoboda Mission, Texas. Dear Amos, ‘We made a mistake. Believe us, itl never happen again. (Printer: Don't print this letter—Editor.) DEAR CRACKED, The other day | went to the dentist, The only thingin his waiting room was a copy of CRACKED. | read it until | was called, You know itwas a relief to get my teeth drilled Steve Adler Newark, NJ. (Printer: Don’t print this one, either) DEAR CRACKED, ‘A bunch of us were sitting around tho barracks laughing at CRACKED. It was alter “lights out’ and we got into trouble for having a light on, We think i's your fault Pvt. Marvin James Dear Marv, ‘We've just given ourselvesa week of K.P. DEAR CRACKED, just made a discovery. When | read your magazine backwards, it's funnier than when | read it forward, Jack Quinlan Andover, Mass. Dear Jack, We have a lot of backward readers. Mat DEAR CRACKED, What's al the fuss about King Kong? the wasn'tso big no one would pay any attention tohim. ‘Shorty” Lefkowitz Brooklyn, N.Y. Dear “Shorty” If you weren't from Brooklyn no one would pay any attention to you. id afi # exp or UPR Mok aar@oecaLn8 aye payog MOA Ie EueRALaS O3¥OMED. DEAR CRACKED, Doyouknow, you guys arealla bunch. of nuts? Ed Sadler Van Nuys, Calif, Dear Ed, ‘No, but maybe if you hum a few bars... DEAR CRACKED, SPOT! SPOT! SPOT! Every placo that Iook in CRACKED | see a litle guy shouting SPOT! Whats going on? Jeb McNamara Tucson, Ariz Dear Job, This is called “having SPOTS be- {fore your eyes.” See an Optometrist atonce! DEAR MR. SPROUL, ‘Somebody said you used to be How- ard Hughes. Is this rue? Martha Rose Wildwood, NJ Dear Martha, Definitely not! | used to be Howard Cosell, but really hated it. DEAR CRACKED, Youre magizine is wonderful. You have the funiest writers in the world, and youre artists are marvalous. 1! buy every issue from now on, Dave Kaspell Portland, Oreg, Dear Dave, What do you know? You can'teven, spell! FRIENDS OF GRAGKE Wanna hit new depths of humor in thesea of laughs? Then dive right into your wallet and locate $4—because that's allt takes to join the Friends of Cracked in exploring the next 8 Issues. Interested? Then suit up and send out, the coupon below immediately! CRACKED SUBSCRIPTION: 236 PARK AVE. SOUTH NEW YORK, W.Y. 10003 Here's my FOUR DOLLARS. Please put ‘mecon your subscription list real fast. want lots of farge laughs? NAME... ADDRESS . ory STATE...... ZIP Siseues - $4.00 Outside U.S.A. $4.50 ‘ao i “ tuner rae mae the funnier topics in recent memory —the Korean War! How can a shi about war be funny? that depends on your frame of mind. To some, this show is caviar, but to us it’s nothing but a MUSH Dinner! That snot | Ards millions of clocks tckthels ay towards é =n = No, calling the =] 9.00 in the East, ahondful of would-be doctors. |[_Y¥*! [cir Blue Jey" Saying that | mistakes of thot lowly begin preparing themselves for another poner jou dent | _manicc nthe sient eon eee don like iB : - ‘major battle. Antio, Oi like the _| kitchen, FOOD Eogleye. fy Jf No. the battle for the #1 . “ — position in the Nielsons! ‘ 1 ‘And these potatoes! Theyre ‘always bolled! | wish for once they were mashed! |ilhhave my steak mediums rare! Now that's what ‘call service! Ahhh Moon! Hels been sucha ‘geod dactor and this isthe tanks he gets. Tm sorry! ve Been faking tank Tost control of the Tent this the way we lost Trapper John ‘ond our first commanding officer? thee ening tcon ac? alent pemttaee| [ssatneacees] IL should be of 10d as new. wos hurt. I oy, i's @ good thing t /asn't your mouth that Instead, you can [ust continue with your weekly pu habit of making fun of dumb things like your ‘bandages oer : S| Sonar, how's ha anv Come to try : ren ee BERT Th they for his feet th paaieve soiree him from of time, Franc ‘epthe keeps by complaining about [> ‘the bandages on his hands. | know why you did this! You figured that with TWO broken arms, I'd finolly become 0s good o doctor os you are now! That they re Sir, con | osk « personal question obout gate That's not preventing him from that horse of yours that you had flown in what | meant! 1 [0] Bendoges do moke Ii don't understand! fj] cHoPreRs! | | Ihave o feeling move Masih it difficult to play Hf You couldn't play CHOPPERS! iuiaitied ere bavi Ay There's ivst some Seaunet cou esederet Ings youcan'tdo inmy condition! bondege: Either thot or my Vegematie's finally p= corrived! Captain Pierce! P< tagleye, you shouldnt } be inh ‘you misplaced your cigarette So, by being here, Major idn't remember where you left that Burnz is upsetting the cether —until one of your patients kept complaining, patients —but is he leaving? ‘obout heartBURN! BE KIND 72 ANIMALS HUG A RUGGER.! Very well, Nagret you want it~ farewell lust go outside cnd moke fun of one of the other 15 regulars we hovel Thi Hf thot's the way something Icon do with these aN Clinger, how'd you like your girdle set on ere must be You're not very HANDY, | are you? two mint COL POTTED!... you even sleep in the same thi Nol THE TENT NEXT TO COL. POTTED'S IS ON FIREI! — You go woke the Colonel, while | put # out What's wrong with that! used to sleep inthe some: oom with my wife and she looked a lo! worse! COL, POTTED! WAKE UP! Les LEM, E But Sir? To have him there the entire i CHOPPERS!| «| CHOPPERS! Oror the yoars, America bas produced many fa like the hula hoop, the pet rock 20d the invisible plate of linguin. But one, that started out as 93t3,000 people playing it at onetime ‘the itor). What is this fad turned pasting? You'l soon fad out in ths next how-to piece {fad bas now grown into a fal-fledged spor. ts so popular infact, thet last week slone we spotted. (and thet was justin the sporting goods store so entitled THE CRACKED _ UIDE TO 2 4B: Believeitornot, _ Is HISTORY: Where and when did the fri anthropologists = a have found ancient originate? Good question. cave drawings indicating that it may have started as early as 250 B.C. However, tne real originator is believed tobe Mrs. H.E. Tossit who discovered the device one night while discussing marital matters with her husband. The man toyed with the saucer idea, made it out of plas then marketed it into one of the biggest games ‘around today. The notebooks: of Leonardo da contain hints that the great artist might have been toying with a frizbee of sorts. 2 I, EQUIPMENT: To play frizbee, there is one important piece of equipment you must have—a frizbe Belowisa diagram with all the THING-A-MA-BO! = a MANUFACTURER'S NAME. TOP OF FRIZBEE MIDDLE OF FRIZBEE BOTTOM OF FRIZBEE BLOTCH OF essential parts INK LEFT BY labeled. Se BRINIG sche qenomr) REBOB NAME OF DEVICE: PRESS ‘Also essential is the space to throw the plastic disk in. And, should you buy all the equipment in the last panel, you might also wish to purchase this special uniform. Fauzpee ‘STorace Since everythingisinthe arm, looseclo- Certain types of jackets can also For winter play, gloves can be worn to thing is a must. But not too loose. hamper your throw. keep the hands warm—but beware of problems. 13 IV. THE GRIP: Now let us look at the proper way to toss a frizbee. ‘And for those with poor vision, glasses Most people start out by trying to throw The proper grip is to grab it on its side should be worn at all times to insure an the frizbee like abaseball, thereby send- and flipit backhanded. accurate catch. Ing Itoff target. But first, make sure nothing isin front of you. V. PLAYING: All right, you can throw a frizbee. Now, you There is frizbee catch on a nice open beact ady to try some of the traditional games. -frizbee catch on acity street .. --and the suburban frizbee run. ‘Some enjoy playing frizbee with their As well as a friendly game of “keep And when you get good, you'll want to dogs. away”. try this form of frizbes —s As well as the ultimate challenge for And one day, you'll even be able to combine it with other spor those with great control. Ss VI. OTHER USES: But besides play, the frizbee has caught on because it has many other uses as well. ‘Some employ their frizbee for pruning While others use jeans of send- Some even use it to earn extra income. shrubbery. ing inter-otfice ‘\ . tes we showed you the basic frizbee, however, now that the sport is so big, compa to experiment with different types of is to capture saute eaters while others are working onadeluxe VIII. CONCLUSION: So as you can Some are designing more personalized experimentation model for people who see, that fad the frizbee has really grown ones... like to travel. into an inexpensive sport that is also c quite safe—sate, thatis, unless. FOR SUENCE FICTION FRENKS, FOR MUSIC LOVERS | Time and time again, businesses of all kinds get stuck with unsold inventories. Sometimes the item is a ad that dios ut and ater times is a product that becomes obsolete due to anew model or just lan scientific improvement. Well the soltion to this who problem i not to throw the the loss, touse the products capeciy. How? Glad you asked, because hie nex! article just happens 1o ba about WHAT BUSINESSES CAN DOWITH LEFTOVER ITEMS | AL the ond of each, model year, there aro The car companies could simply soll those autos to thousands ing. amusement parks for t! t do you do with dud of the early 70's? and, Delors you know it, you have a bil to we voainss| 7h a Aas © ‘And wat do you do wih al those unsold puppies nobody ws om LY OLDER PUPPies] S| They should be given special make- vp. y fand ‘converted’ into those animals that aren wand. ow, ei \ | cosas "OROTHy oN, \| ANDY S| Mame S| mie || | “hs ‘ ° g a0 : ‘And not every record album issued can make it to the top of the charts as tho jackets below reveal. ‘Ski manufacturers can convert their leftovers into combination bookshelves and hangers, But if records were warped 4 Into a'Y’ shape. and then had a hole Grilled on either side and a (f ribbon strung through it... as nesting areas for birds. And what about this leftover campaign bumper sticker? ..the record companies could then make millions [eee a more, producing Rat JERRY FORD \ 4 FOR PRESIDENT You simply make the appropri the dotted line below. JERRY FORD | FOR PRESIDENT! ‘and you're left with a new novelty bumper sticker. culs as indicated by When TV nows began, itll But later on, the one started with a si : ‘And most recently, the two ‘announcer split into two. turned into one man and, for the first time, a woman. & ee zs said sees prleoraoher aus. ere pinacte | eeaviecee ‘Andiaveterinarianin san ea intey onary veuldwork ot | estar 5 ede) cee polanigeset Sere ak eee Diego es learned the reason deriondl aie heat where her: oo rec humming bis hum =i Lise as eae aes | because they con't afford the 1 Fa | sheet music containing the lyrics. 0s the owners of the store assured her that Os, Barbara Walters has joined the ABC Evening News and the result—a sudden drop in the rating’s of CBS's perennial Walter Cronkite and NBC's John Chancellor and David Brinkley. Now, of course, the networks could Just sit back and see what develops (which they never do) or they could begin taking immediate steps for Redoing The Evening News “While over of CBS, Cronkite In rosponse, C85 would Gl ipdlacate) would begin reacting fo the Probably team Walter up with reneaeta oer Seis men . olf your idea of a king-sized bed is Yankee... .if yougetaspli Stadium! out You Know roure [he Big in your foot anditturns _ + + if giant redwoods are your favorite brand of toothpicks! aN + - If you avoid torna youticklisht ist straightened out the Leaning ja... and you're not even aware gest thing Around If. oF uth that’s bigger than the if you love Paris because of its wonderful mouths of Muhammad Ali and Howard Cosel th Valley is your idea of. . .if icebergs are nd box! favorite brand of popsiclest . «if your idea of playing with blocks is play- —_. . . if your dentist has to know how to operate ing with forty-second street and forty-third a jack hammer! ‘ll — Ld ‘ . «if you've been afraid your sleepwalking lf your favorite surfboard is an aircraft may have been responsible for the carrier! Colosseum’s condition! - «if you find yourself doing a lot of ducking «if you think windmills make nice fans! around airports! - , os ea aias| E reat 25% ta leorn: it Pe SS HVE 3 Sy BE SEY. ee ke CRMGST30 BUNGIE a eine ee eee Loree | CRACKED ANNUALS 295 PARK AVE. SOUTH I | NEWYORK, NEWYORK 10003 I | Please send me the Annuals | have checked Enclosed | Ms which inciudes the total price of my 1 | selections PLUS 25€ mailing and handling charge for | I dee NE edt) CRACKED GANGSTER GALLERY | 1 GIANT CRACKED #9... 75¢ 50¢ ! 1 SAMI GRACKED HO. 7Ge, GiaGkeD Ty soneen.. sor | GIANTCRAGKED #11. $100 CRACKED GOES TO THE MOv- cet Srabtest fiat ee eae : | King'sizeo CRACKED 8 CRACKED STRIKES IT RICH | S100 WiTH SAGEBRUSH Soe 1 KINs-sizeo cracKen #10. CRACKED Manual OF UT | 3100 DOWNS... soe 1 SUPERCRACKEDES...75¢ CRACKED WORLO OF ADvER- | SUPERCRACKED #93100 TISING. 30s t | SIGGESI GREATEST CRACKED CRACKED GOES TO THE Mov | #10. 75¢ tes. 50¢ | BIGGEST GREATEST CRACKED CRACKED MAKES HisToRY soe | I 1 s13.. $1.00 MORE FROM THE CRACKED TV | | EXTRA SPECIAL CRACKED #1 SCREEN . 50¢ 1 $1.00 ‘SHUT-UPS... 506 ! | CRACKEDGOESWEST...sor FONZFOR PRESIDENT ..60¢ | i 1 | NAME 1 I | appress 1 1 | | city STATE ZIP 1 I es eee eee 26 REMEMBER—Add 25¢ mailing and handling charge for EACH selection you have mace ONE DAY ATA RAILROAD CROSSING e 3 Ly Today, in America, there's one thing soaring higher than birds and rockets—fuel costs! Utility companies ‘seem to ask for (and are granted) rate increases practically every other month. Where once you could heat a home for the price of a log, it now costs hundreds of dollars. What's to be done?—Search us!—on second thought, don’t search us; you're liable to find the silverware we stole from the restaurant we ate at last night. instead, read this next article which contains tons of practical tips on il N : ELECTRIC BATHROOM: Razor: for those who still ‘want the thrill of on electric fond yet the closenats of a ’ | R blede, blades are merely Non-electric toothbrush: inserted inte the head of on Toothbrush is screwed to ordinery razor. A regular ‘wall. To operate, person shaving stroke is usedto cut _presses teeth ageinst brush the beard. Togive the electric andquickly movesheod up Hair Blower: Airis produced Light: \s produced by two sound ond vibrating feeling ‘ond down ond back andforth. by user turning crank floshlights dengling from four beesare trapped inside Teeth becomeclean and user tooperate whirling blades mirror by string. the casing, never touches brush, housed in front opening = lectriity Alt Conditioning: A friendly jopleat the dog is seated near those y pumpthe pedals to be air conditioned. A fon Lighting: Two! DINING ROOM: aa battery operoted Non-electrie Knife: To operote, user must _lanternsorehung table m LIVING ROOM: T.V.: This device is operated by © Vacuum Cleaner: To operate the N : Lighting: generator hooked uptoastationary non-electric model, an inflated balloon cre placed flat on board INluminetion bicycle. User merely pumps the pedals. is olmed of the suspected dit which is below @ one-ton js provided by This method of T.V. viewing prevents The airs thenslowly let out, thereby weight. To operate, arope ‘candies placed user from getting fat from just siting forcing thedirt tobe blown intothe connected to the weight ‘around the: round and also edits out commercials vacuum bag catcher. When the is switly lowered thereby ~ person merely co balloon is empty, forcing oll the uring these i Jor merely pumps Stereo: Connected tothe unit BEDROOM: Portable 7.V.: When one person wants 0 sleep and isasmall boxhousing a cenother wants fo wctch TV, the portable bedreom madel treadmill nd thouso.ads of should be used. A tiny windmill (A) is set up next t0 ents, At the 109 of the tread Night ight: Jor of tretios sleeping person. As air rushes from snoring person's ‘ere four lumps of sugar. When cn right table. By the time nostrils (8), the windmill is turning providing eneray the ants run to get the you re asleep, they will be for generator (C) which in urn operates the TV. confectionery delight, the {00 ond the light wil be out treed is moved thereby Starting the generator which ers the stereo unit Electric Mixer: A unicycle is set upon o stond, jemperatures will take over. however, in place of the sure you use all ofthe frozen wheel, two beaters ore pilot fpercte.the —whilerubbing and doubles asa gorbage User merely pumps the __withleft one, _disposel~merely throw all pedals, which in turn rotate of your garbage into front of the stove. Range: /An olé fashioned pot belly stove will do the frick here. It cleo provides heat, can act os a toaster As the snow begins to fall on the ground, a new sport usually gets underway for many people—right!—shove! besides shoveling, there's another that involves Knicks, Cel- ties, Lakers and ’76er' port that many enjoy watching and that soon even more will be able to participate in, 'veread The COLCA) Guide To Finally, Naysmit It was thon suggested that some. the idea of @ thing bo tossed into the baskets. problem I. EQUIPMENT—To play this fast and exciting game, certain things are necessary. 1s « basket and something to at- First, you will nod an empty court. ch It to. Ill, SKILLS—As in any sport, there are @ number of skills that should be practiced in order to make you a better player. journ to pinpoint —_Boll-handlling should also be prac- teed. IV. BEGINNING PLAY—Now that you have some of the skills down, lets get into the rules of the The referee, standing between the ho jump, notice the hand tho visiting centers then tosses the ball up action by the conters to got pos: bbaskors. for th e Wee woll as the positions of the Any player within scoring rango ether players caper to retrieve i. may then shoot ct the basket. And if he misses... V. FOULS—During the course of the game, the action can be stopped at any point when the referee spots certain violations called fouls. and tripping. And then there are fouls for travel- Rashes foc trorets 2 cateciog tha court ayelby 5 When a foul is called, the game is stopped and every: ‘one is marched ate f - me ‘Anengasierd oun 2a ops Boab fag eZ ores Hames ean OBOE VI. TYPES OF SHOTS—Accurate shooting is the name of the game—actually, the name of the game is basketball, but to make this section more colorful we ... ah, skip it!) Typical The person fouled is then entitled ‘akees \acleder The Bounce Shot ‘The Two-Man Shot VIL. PASSING—It is often asked, “Who should I pass the ball to and who shouldn't 1?” Nover pass to @ man who appears tobe guarded. VIII, OVERTIME—And finally, let us speak about overtime. Below, you see two teams thet ore all [Atle moans that the game must be ploy: ‘Hed up ot the and of the gamo. ‘od until (A) one team 2 Fy Dear Dicry ~believe me, i's not easy for me, Anknoe Parmesan, divorced woman, to raise two daughters in primetime. !'ve an ‘example to set for, not only my girls, but the nation as welll! And, dear diary, i's so hard — especially, when everything you don't want your own daughters to do, you're dying to try yourself N rT “You should have been | there, Marshal She came in three o clock Inthe morning! Boy, did she get yelled ot of course! we didn't put a curfew on Mom, we'd never see her! SS ‘And so demanded a carl | said being the eldest daughter here, I deserve my own car. you know what she had the nerve to say?... young to even qualify for 2 meen, if she's ‘gonna stort dragging in And do ‘You're too Seven Work! Work! That's all you do when you're that super, super, Drain Sehnighter. You think H's eosy being a pest? You ‘think i's easy BURSTING in con people?—It takes time — time to make all them sets of keys as people keap changing their locks on you. Thot Anknee Parmesan is 50 lucky. Why, if had two daughters, 'd be with them every minute... .and I'd help them with their homework! But mest of oll, if |hod those two kids— I'd be the star of this series and she'd be the nosey, next door neighbor. 38 Remember me? One| minute I'ma regular dating Anknee, ond the next, 'm being poid a buck- to say, "here comes cenother CRACKED TY. satire entitled: [One Date At a Time. hty I's the Sadie H Disaster! It was lik cr Flying on the Hindenburg—oF being by an overweight As being first in line for ticks Kate Smith concert! Disoster! the gielis supposed to ask the boy! — al FP | otasodie i | TWN ELA Vintiredof | L Dance. | haven't got a date! | You're kidding! — om ‘gosh! —well, that's itt {'m just gonna have to y ‘end it alll Ma, let me hove o piece of your cake. WAVE YOu STARTED Nous coutsetion or 3926 SF CENIENNIAL LNCENSE PLATES YET? Sorry, dear, but it's not quite ready yet. Ee thinks about are boys. immature [EE There are things in life boys, 20 I've ey ‘more important! decided to gout with | "mM. | Dumpshot! Yes?... Ohi E gone endit forgetting girls, all ight now and acter ~datewise, I'm ‘tick my head in the running too! oven! Schnighter! Whal ore you doing in there? Well, girls—t've goto date for tomorrow night. | TSraaiearinoad uaa be BB FEW] | Docshe haves in «)) G | within earshot of hi - younger friend? | incase anything g [| [= ) Then how come it took \ jus Mr. Townsond 6 months to get his lights fixed? | said he should be within earsho!—I didn’ ‘mention anything about actual repairing! Bat, Mes. Parmesan, It le is off fo tonight. He said he just hod 0! very strenuous ‘experience ‘ond has to rest. i es [wesoay weto | Nothing. tt was just my turn \ WaSesten's wai" fo barge in Schnighter wos busy OK. |” Berbor—that's on Ca ‘everyone. | INFLATE-A-DATE! want you to Why bring him? meet my date for Sadie Howkins night. it’s a dance and he'd probably be very light on his feet. It's like being on the Titanie fr Flying on the Hindenburg ‘or being trampled on by You know, there's [ust no privacy in this plac Yeah, but all someone has get close to him with o NES what are you gonne’do? [-* "lust tell everyone that he Tjust walked into the bathroom to turn on the | shower ond out walked... ~ Mal If’ all right! This tel Bolini. He wants to go ot YMSA\ GreatiNew® | enya cu| | 12 | find someone we ig could end this Eni whole thing y hoppy. 7 7 MALI DID 1 [ [That guy'lido | someone who's totally fr ‘onything to get [unattached and eager to go out with mo. ee back a regular tn this Pilar pes 354 DIAPLES ‘spot in this | ow the Staupans cour Bau! / ree Sa E EVENING , ® \ RAY ae ASS Yas TASS he Right now, one of the biggest fads around sooms| fobe skateboards. | understand you ve sold illlon this yeor alone. ‘Gh yes. tall storted out os just o [wooden board on a roller skate, but Hound those early models not 10 bbe very good, Greetings, America! This Is Nanny Dickering again For CRACKED Magazine and, each year, there is at least one or two big Items that sell like wilafire In the US.“items that catch on quickly and then die right out. Well, today I'm with ‘the one man who has created and capitalized on more of these quickies ‘than anyone else. He's none other than Mr. Freddie Fastbuck, who ‘You'll be meeting in just one moment when, ‘Arenames out of syle? Are people calling you Refrigerator} © |" instecd of Nanny? ~ Miss model endorsed by “immy Conners. Ir added $2179] ‘our markup. ‘And next year, il Ts gasoline Tunderstand you started in this business quite some lime ogo, be introducing the] | Why Rolls Royco It’ — io cour $1,100 model | expensive? [Another big discovery of yours wos the Barbrie Doll Hos this fod died off [oh ne. Sales are jusi fine, But the big money here] Isn't just the doll itself ‘And, of course, to go wil have playsets. There's Ba Lox Shop and Barb With oll the profits Borbrie makes, it's pity boys don't FL play with dolls, isn't it? Pollution Control Testing Center? || witht these days. ‘A great group. I only they d ‘get bock tagether again. Past? Streaking ... gold Fish swallowing ‘Oh, they have their] vps and downs. ee ara ee ee I know. Manufacturers who locked were] EXD SS) new fads thet you think| putting hooks on might be as big as the me full time?| oor 1 roally big fod this is ‘going 10 bel Don't you ws 22 UPUPSES anal ae = SH || Tell the star to put his ) footprints here! 2) i] S ( Ys! | a? 7 “OR - BS) SHUT-UPond get Z| more cement! Sir, I beg your pardon! S AE cove yous pordont | G@inactanian = ¢ pe “Uy j SHUT-UP and {\~ ar keep swinging! #4 ¢ 271 ON H3.LSOd GANOVEOD *S4H4NOGNVH DlE ATIVE" ONINE “GNAHAYddY OL Ld WALL NINOLLAVS SW3YLXa ASN iSNOUsAONVG Hip'ld Gue'ly GNZ1u~ 1sh'ly aiINNHL LY VA SINIHG dSINIiS “O:\'N‘SHSAMOLNIML* DAN) ONITTINS ALVLS auIdWa ‘GNVISISTINS ‘SASSaHddv NMON LSV1 “UVa L431 NI ANV 1d Lar ‘Saunivad SAILONILSIO YSAO TV IHIVH NWSI :SSAS ‘Sol e8p'ch LHOISM, “4! 27 OP -LHDISH NOILdiDS3a ‘ANNOY. DNIASMNOW SONIA LL ALeadOud SLWAIHd ONv O11and 4O NOLLONHLSAG

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