xq ~ = © EVENITWO dll-GHKIN ATW aNONVH 1v3u Vv . 4LNOLNd SNNO!eG . STAN LEE presents I sys Gl : ‘ SY , \ f 7 | ’ AN? SE I, : . THEMAGAZINETHAT DARESTOBEDUMBE —yagese, yumm SATIRE PARODY PAUL LAIKIN EDEN NORA aim OWSLEY ARON MAYER Ealtor Boss ‘Art Director Loss Editorial Coot Aide Editorial FookAide ARTISTS THIS ISSUE: Kent Gamble, Ron Zelme, Tony Tallarieo, Al Seaduto, Bill Burke, Ray Billingsley, Charles Nicholas, Vic Martia, John Retnet, Walier Brogan, Mike Pardo, Murad Gumen, Araoldo Franchlonl and Aron Lalkin. WRITERS THIS ISSUE: Michael Pelloweld, Ros: ‘TAKE COVER: Air Raid FRONT COVER: Hob Larkin BACK COVER: Bill Quidort ATTENTION PARENTS: YOU SHOULD LEARN TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF. . .JUST LIKE YOUR KIDS DO! — IN THIS ISSUE — "Waseda te en or dvstooted wtb ay part of We cover or mark ‘Wprremvads Soa ema et WARNING! DUE TO THE INSENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTER OF THE FOLLOWING MAGAZINE, CHILDREN'S DISCRETION 18 ADVISED...’ 3CRAZY's Interview With Dracula drove ime batty! James Frazer Lake Stevens, Wash, Doar James, ike the’ man said, “there's @ sucker born every minute!” Every time | get your stupid magazine | get sick! ‘Grristine Powell Elvi, Doar Christine, ‘Oh? Are the two magazines stuck together? Keep up the good work, and hold your head high! Us CRAZY fans are all gonna stick together! Jamie Boone ‘Oriand, Ca. In CRAZY #53, | loved your homework cherge card. | think everyone from first grace up to twelth grado ‘should have one. Lisa Altheide ‘Adamsburg, Pa. Dear Lis Only one? How about doing a parody about kids who write t0 you? Shari Dalziel Grand Blanc, Mich. xdy done 2 parody of ‘Animal House! ‘Your First Aid Techniques in CRAZY #83 was the fist thing | read, and it didn't aid me at all. | klled three people by practicing those techniques! Russell Lindenburg ‘San Antonio, Tx. Dear Russoll, it you think CRAZY’s first aid is fatal, you should try Jim Jones’ Kool- aid! In CRAZY #53, A Crazy Look At A Hospital kept me in sttches. Kevin MeGough ‘Adamsville, Ala. Dear Kevin, ‘You sound like a real cutup! hope you do a parody on “B.J, And The Bear". ‘sean Demis ‘Santa Barbera, Ca. Dear Sean, 1, maybe, but the Bear is @ little too grizzly for ust | really tke your magazine, but when | bought issue #54, my dog chewed it up ‘and I didn't get 2 chance to react Debbie Bengston Janetion City, Tx Dear Debbie, ‘We slwaye said CRAZY was going to the dog 1 you don't do @ parody of the movie “Elvis” in your next issue, I'm going to ‘come down there and beat up your proofreader! Derek Tadloch Coalinga, Ca. Dear Derek, Promises! Promises! | recently bought CRAZY #54, and | thought it was s0 dumb I'm never going to buy it again! Kathy Johnson Pontiac, Mich Dear Kathy, ‘Naturally! Who wants to buy the same issue twice? | neery threw up when | saw that plo- ture on page St of issue "54—where someone was standing up during an operation! Stephanie Siege! Broken Arrow, Oki Dear Stephenie, ‘What do you want? The pationt was, having a body lift! Why don't you put CRAZY on televi- ‘sion? Steven Kessler ‘Dunkirk, N.Y. Dear Steven, Telavision is crazy enough! CRAZY #54 was just great! loved the pert about Teacher Magazine Laure Price ‘Omaha, Neb. Dear Laura, ‘Go to head of the clas:Thanks for the Crazy Credit Cards in issue #54. | almost got free ges with them! Trent Riskor Estes Park, Col Dear Trent, ‘That's not surprising! CRAZY gives gas to a jot of peopl | just read Doltish House (issue "53), ‘and | was wondering why you put Founder on a diet? ‘Angola Canty Newton, Mass. Dear Angela, ‘We were having trouble fitting him You guys goofed! In issue #53, the last panel of Doltish House, Steve Martin says "Excuse Mel”, However, youneed "and you only had twelve! Danny Fox Fort Wayne, ind Dear Danny, ‘Well, Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuse us! Wil you do a parody of Star Trak? Patrick Stubbs Spring Valley, On. ove CRAZY and so does my sister. We hate those who hate CRAZY... and ‘we just ignore people lke that! Gary Holmes Holy Hil, Fla Dear Gsry, 14,000,000 people nore hard to ie | tked issue *84 because the dog show was funny, and | liked Fantastic leland. If anyone says CRAZY stinks. they stink! ‘Alyson Blom Stoughton, Mass, Dear Alyson, ‘Do we small a compliment there? | read CRAZY and | really enjoy it. ‘someone tells you CRAZY stinks, tell them to go suck an egg! ‘Steven Gimplowite Phoenix, Az. Doar Steven, Hf we did’ that, there would be & tremendous egg shortage in Amerios | think your magezine is stun, idiotic, werd, and dumb, but Ilove it! Keep this (reat all-American magazine coming out! ‘Scott Donnelly Ft, Washington, Md, coming Why do you keep copying other humor magezines? Can't you thing ot | something original? Frank Peeler Puryear, Tenn, Dear Frank, ‘You're saying what everyone else is saying! Can't you think of something, original? ‘Some of the things in your magazine ‘are funny, but most things in your magazine are rot very nice! Cindy McLain Brisiol, Tenn, Dear Cindy, Like maybe your letter? Iniesue “63, Howard the Duck was real quack! | aiso loved Sights To Make | Your Eyes Sore. And if you don't print my letier in CRAZY, I'l rip your lungs cout! Mildeod Byrne Hickory Hil Doar Mildre:!, ‘Scunds like @ matter of life ath! sbf fans requested it. Her they road this MOVIE SATIRE Here's our vers! movie that simply had to be made. Mat Which Is the same number of people who will now roquost tI STARTRIPE Writer: Rico Tallar CAPTAIN’! ‘ARDATE 12/8/ ... THE U.S.S. ENTERPRISE WAS RE’ TO BASE WHEN IT CAME UPON A STRANGE CLOUD-LIKE ENTITY THAT IT HAD NEVER EXPERIENCED BEFORE. . - Tim only lestng! My wer galac Iie computer soys that cloud Is ° Tinowi Tha?s why] |dangerous «my monitor analy ‘i vormel elecromagretic, = find menacing. | (1 "es sysiom elo cays te pressure emanating fom wanted take @ xun-[] gminovs.. and mainly, my Tosar-beamed strctures! bath osay' | corns hurt—which iso sure Po top talking ke « SV, sign that something teriba is S I don't know going te happen! “And. since W's on a direct |course heading for Earth... soy| ‘that hostile thing should be destroyed!Talways Tell me, mean’ to ask Your Me, Spook Jyou about those], | father an pointed ears! You got them from your fother, the | alien, right? lcome you're| so Intolll- [Enough of this chit-chat, Captain. .1 offer you my servieos as] Til be very helpful on this mission! I'm an expert on hief Science Officer! cloud formations. ..in fact, rm writing a book at this very] moment listing every type of cloud! [oh? How many have you listed so fer’ IC No, becouse of my great actor's contract! W's the] ‘only other storring role in this movie! IM. Spook, you say that cloud is hostile. ..does it show any] signs of Intelligence? this ship ond from now on, you'll listen to me! E Spook, | think you've flipped our! tm Coptan of [Most definitely, Captain! Not only does lt anpear| Togical...it shows signs of beingWhot's that strange i stream H[some Idiot left the windows open] of crystals - ‘emanating That's not gamma rays, you clod. ..tha’'s plain ran dropal That's a raln cloud parting over us The woter L__J Vergo __I flooded the ongine| room Quid calla plumber! Dare "Are you kidding? Where maximus auxillary unit! ‘Okay, now... aciivate the elecirodes on the computer generator ond dismantle the lasar components in the | 1 How should | know! We al ways inject a lot of mumbo: Why do you soy that, Captain? What does it jumbo space talk on this show for no reason of all...just for otmosphere! KH [Step fooling arcund, men. The sivation Is serious! My Instincts tell me something Is wrong! | can feel it! What's the ‘computer reading? RED... ALERT! RED... ALERT![All Rands? AI handst Tals 1s your = Coptain speaking. prepare for [[ Wa place In particular! Ws just on ex left over from re wolf do this every five minutes to remind Lost In Space ure!__{) cuse to show an exterior shot of the Enterprise cruising through space! We ; Okay, men, ve You clod}| whi sit % = You jv5t || smell shot dowe|| burnt ( in hi the |[rber . JGoodyecr orm of! Whot Ie in th ‘kindof ‘orn af! What tee in thot openings o weird kindof ef oat ee fs no time for jokes, Bone UB 501 0 intercept it ond find out [JOr else] ]we'll hove no plot ite mission, or ols. what? for this movie! We‘grabbing the beouti} Like King Kong ond hi you osk me they bit off more than they could chew when they took on the Enterprise! [New 1 atfempiing To communicate with us! However, since ‘their frequency is greater than our speed of sound, their entire message lasted only @ millionth of a second! iar", ‘Our television set, you Idlot...the cloud scanner| Titer Wer Spock thas ‘wher || Captain, | propose w easy do you || magnetic force field with grecter || for think |]velocity than the radioactive capacity| | you we shoula||ot their nuclear frequency system and to soy, 19? ||_ activate our Cyclotron Fusicn Line! | SpookThats [rere ETT Tyg Bu ote [Say — Ras grt tack] [T CLOTHING DROP a“La) WAH! I Y TEEN Halk) Walt ty \ Oe ano maa A Bors al WN e CREEP MAKE Tike DRIED LEAF... BL0 U.S. MARINE CORPS. RECRUITING OFF THE WERT MORNING... WHAT A €RAZY NIGHT- MARE! WELL, NO SENSE WASTING A SATURDAY BWELLING ON IT.‘SAY, CHESTER, WAS THAT BIG Gur? DON'T PLAY OUMB.. iG GUY WITH THE FUNNY ) SKIN, CONDI- SKIN. CONDITION A FRIEND, (OF Yours? AAD WE ALWAYS GET) ] TIONS waar ARE ou 7 eur t cont EVEN HAVE /Ay, LEARNER'S PERMI ‘OH, NO! TM HEADED FOR THE MAJOR THRU} 70 BE CONTINUED...WE HOPE!IF YOU DON'T WANT TO FIGHT WITH STRANGERS S OUT- , Why don’cha get a] subscription: like everyone ee @ ; : SUBSCRIBE TO CRAZY = “ssces.cu~ NOW...AND TAKE (and fight with US — trying to get your money back!) ADVANTAGE OF OUR potas eee SPECIAL LOW ‘CRAZY SUBSCRIPTION DEPT. j SUBSCRIPTION RATE: C/O MARVEL COMICS GROUP payeble to ISSUES 575 MADISON AVENUE Marvel Comics tj 12 FOR ONLY $9.95 NEW YORK, N.Y. 10022 ‘Group i | i | | ' Encode my coupon wth 9.95 ($10.95 Canad, $1.95 Fare forthe next | Fz ict of CHALY tren 4 SUPER GIANT SBECIALS) The way avo | fae athe comer sowsiond. rom ow on TH have Wis wh tie CHAZY | Sncnton Deptt NAME a , ADDRESS i ' i ' ' TY a STATE lp 2°7C1) 7. Ie MGAZINE THAT'S REALLY GO PLAGES Ltn. 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FOR OPTOMETRISTS FOR TOPLESS DANCERS FOR MUSICIANS itt FOR GAMBLERS Writer: Eden Norah FOR POLITICIANS