OPTIMAL PERFORMANCE

MANAGING
EXPECTATIONS
GEORGE PITAGORSKY

A MINDFUL APPROACH
to ACHIEVING SUCCESS
 HA
W

ER
TM A D
A KE S A LE

MORE THAN
SOUND
Copyright © 2017 by More Than Sound, LLC
All Rights Reserved

Published by More Than Sound, LLC

221 Pine St., Suite 408, Florence MA 01062
morethansound.net
Managing Expectations: A Mindful Approach to
Achieving Success/ by George Pitagorsky
ISBN 978-1-934441-89-3
 Managing Expectations

1
Introduction
M anaging expectations is something we
all do every day in real-world situations. Managing
expectations is influencing the beliefs people have
about something being the case in the future. Its
purpose is to increase the likelihood that people will
be satisfied with the outcome of a project, relationship,
performance, or product. The goal is to manage
expectations to achieve success in whatever you do.
What do I mean by success? Success is
measured in how well and how regularly you satisfy
the people who have a stake in your performance.
You satisfy them by setting and meeting rational and
meaningful expectations—your own and those of all
of the stakeholders. Managing expectations relies
on blending a crisp analytical approach with the
interpersonal skills needed to negotiate a vision that
leads to a win-win outcome. In this case, the vision
(another term for expectations) is what is supposed to
be delivered—by when, for how much, by whom, and
under what conditions. The vision is not limited to the
nuts and bolts of concrete objectives. It includes the
look and feel of the end result, and the process to get
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 Managing Expectations

to it—are people happy? Are relationships healthy? Is

there a productive, sustainable flow?

Why I Wrote This Book

I wrote this book to help alleviate unnecessary
suffering and promote happiness and optimal
performance, particularly in work situations.
Expectations involve more than just calm, rational
thought. They also reflect on the emotions of those who
have expectations. When expectations are not satisfied,
the disappointment and discord can be disturbing and
difficult to manage. That’s why interpersonal skills
are crucial to effective expectations management. All
too often, projects and business processes fail to meet
expectations when the people involved do not spend
enough time setting and managing their plans to
ensure that they are achievable, potentially resulting in:
• a new product costing millions to develop
that does not sell
• an attempt to improve a process that fails to
deliver expected benefits
• a new service that leads to more complaints
than kudos.
Such failures can cost dollars and lost
opportunities, as well as kill morale, drive away
customers, and spawn mistrust, disappointment, anger,
and fear.

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 Managing Expectations

Who Will Benefit from This Book?

Everyone who works with other people to get
something done will benefit from this book. Whether
you are an executive, expert project manager, general
manager responsible for business operations, or an
individual performer you will learn ways to manage the
emotions behind expectations and to anticipate other’s
reactions. You’ll learn how to work more effectively
with others by improving the way you set and manage
expectations.

Key Tools and Concepts

In this book, we’ll explore the process to define,
measure, and maintain realistic, mutually understood
expectations. The key tools, techniques, and concepts
used in the process are:
• planning,
• the acceptance of uncertainty,
• estimating,
• negotiating, and
• performance assessment and adjustment.
We’ll look at how to apply all of these with a
mindful, compassionate, practical approach, and a
process- and systems-oriented view. Taken together,
we will refer to this as mindful awareness. I’ll explain
more about what I mean by mindful awareness in the
pages ahead.

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For now, Mindfulness is purposely paying

attention to the present moment. A Process
Perspective recognizes that all outcomes are the result
of a process—a set of steps and interactions among
people and their tools and environment. A Systems
Perspective recognizes that everything is part of a
system of interacting, interdependent parts—people,
places, things, and processes. Among these parts,
the people are the most important and complex.
Mindfully approaching the system and processes
means considering the people and their relationships,
emotions, and beliefs along with the more concrete
aspects of organizational life.
These three are the foundation for effective
expectations management and performance in general.

Complexity: People and

Their Perceptions
Bob’s project to move Learning, Inc. is complex
in many ways, but small and simple when compared to
other larger projects. Think what it would take to shift
the finance department of a multinational bank from
New York to the Philippines and India or modernize
a food service organization’s point of sale and back-of-
the-house operations in a thousand locations.
However, like all projects, Bob’s Office Move
assignment involves a group of people with varied
perspectives, expectations, personalities, skills, and

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needs working together to accomplish a mutual

objective. The objective may seem straightforward,
but the need to keep the business running and satisfy
multiple stakeholders adds challenges.
How the stakeholders manage their own
expectations and those of other stakeholders makes
the difference between success and failure.

Critical Elements
When defining any project or operation, key
things to keep in mind are:
Objectives: Identify and briefly describe all
of the objectives—what do you want to accomplish,
by when, and for how much? Clearly stated and
mutually understood objectives are crucial to
success. They express the specific expectations
of those involved, and describe the nature of the
product and the process to achieve it. Objectives
must be specific, measurable, achievable, realistic
(practical), and time bound. They must include
a cost constraint. They should address expected
relationship characteristics such as healthy conflict
and collaboration.
While objectives and expectations seem
the same, there is a subtle difference. Expectations
add the question of whether the objectives will
be met. For example, among the objectives of our
Office Move is getting it done by a certain date.

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Do the stakeholders expect that it will definitely

be done by that time or do they expect that there
might be some delay? To expect that an objective
will be met with 100 percent certainty opens the
door to a weak and rigid plan that is not prepared
for risk situations.
Stakeholders: Who is involved and
affected? What is the role of each? What are their
characteristics—skills, personalities, positions in
the organization, etc.? How have they related to
one another in the past?
Constraints: Target dates? Budget
limitations? How firm are they? What is the
environment like and how does it impact the work
to be done? What legal and policy restrictions
apply?
Whether considering Bob’s Office Move
project or your own situation, reflect on the objectives,
stakeholders, and constraints particular to that scenario.

Expect Change
Projects and business operations alike are
dynamic processes within dynamic environments.
While it is useful to adhere to established expectations
as goals, it is equally important to assess those goals
from time to time to see if they are still worthwhile.
Similarly, expectations that a standard approach will
be used in the work should be reassessed in light of

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current conditions to see if it is still the optimal way to

go or if it needs change.

Expect Expectations
Expectations are a fact of life. People, perhaps
with the exception of the fully enlightened, have
expectations. Knowing this, expecting expectations, is
a first step in managing them.
In an absolute sense, the best strategy, according
to the wise, is to have no expectations or to limit your
expectations to continuous change and uncertainty in
everything. Expect the discomfort that comes with not
getting what you want or getting what you don’t want.
Without expectations, you would be in the moment,
accepting whatever comes and adapting fluidly.
In a relative sense—from the point of view
of our day-to-day experience working with other
people—expectations exist and many of them are quite
practical. For example, Pat’s expectation that the Office
Move will be done without disruption to the business
is extremely important. It sets very clear criteria for a
successful project. Bob knows he cannot simply find a
new location, get everyone to pack up their stuff, and
move.
Since expectations are present and practical, the
issue then becomes how best to manage them using a
measured approach rather than just jumping into the
work and hoping for the best.

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Using the Office Move Project

I’ll use the Office Move project throughout this
book to show how effective expectations management
impacts getting things done. If you have your own
situation you’d like to explore, I encourage you to
apply the principles in this book to that situation. Your
scenario can be a current project or ongoing process
or one from your past. You can use this book to think
through your project and help you develop real-world
tools for future situations.
If using your own situation, take a moment now
to give it a name and briefly describe your scenario in
writing—objectives, stakeholders, and constraints.

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 Managing Expectations

2
Context: Optimal
Performance
H ow can you effectively set and meet all of
those expectations? The key is to aspire to optimal
performance. Optimal performance is sustainably
achieving multiple, often competing, objectives
efficiently and effectively, while considering real world
constraints and maximizing the use of capabilities and
resources. It means doing your best and aspiring to do
better. Optimal performance strikes the right balance
between peak performance, high performance, and
taking the time to recover from the effort you expend.
Working 24/7 on a project might be necessary for short
spurts; continuously working that way will diminish
the capacity to perform.
In our Office Move, optimal performance
will be achieved though the creation and execution
of a plan that considers the most efficient approach,
recognizing risks and the need for flexibility, as well
as the capabilities, personalities, and needs of the
individuals.

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While this book focuses on expectations, it

recognizes that success requires applying multiple
capabilities. Of course, you need to apply content
knowledge—the specific skills and information
required to do a particular job. You also need to use
process and project management to mindfully manage
expectations. And, throughout, you’ll use effective
communication, conflict management, and the ability
to initiate and work with change. All of these are best
done combining mindful awareness with concentrated
focus and clarity regarding objectives and strategies.

Cohesive Approach
Achieving optimal performance requires
a cohesive approach that integrates individual
performance factors such as motivation, the desire for
personal mastery, and the effective management of
energy with a set of capabilities that enable individuals
and teams to maximize their efforts.
These capabilities are:
1. Core capabilities that operate on the
intrapersonal level—Mindfulness and
Open-mindedness. Bob, the Office
Move project manager, will need to be
objective and observant of what is going
on in and around him to get the job
done in a way that satisfies expectations.

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 Managing Expectations

2. Management capabilities that address

concrete activities such as project
planning, process analysis, and managing
expectations, communication, conflict, and
change. Bob will use these capabilities to
bring analytical precision into the project to
make sure plans are rational and mutually
understood and accepted.
3. Performance capabilities that are specific
to individual activities (e.g., preparing
tax returns, programming, or painting)
or professions. Bob will make sure the
necessary skills are present by hiring outside
experts and identifying and engaging
internal experts to address everything from
interior design to the technology issues
needed to make sure that phones and
computer systems work.
This book focuses on expectations management
although all of the capabilities are tightly coupled.
Open-minded mindfulness, communication, conflict
management, planning, negotiation, and the knowledge
of how systems and processes work are all involved in
managing expectations.

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 Managing Expectations

Components of
Optimal Performance

Performance

Team
Communi- Change
cations

Sustained
High
Performance

Conflicts
Expectations

Figure 1: Optimal Performance Factors

As shown in Figure 1, optimal performance
is achieved by managing expectations, as well as
performance improvement, organizational change,
communications, and conflicts. All of these work
together, like the strands of a rope, within the overall
frame of personal mindfulness and a realistic, systems-
oriented, open-minded attitude. A comprehensive,
holistic approach is the means for achieving sustained
optimal performance. Optimal performance meets and
exceeds expectations.
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 Managing Expectations

Performance improvement is the ability to

execute projects and processes increasingly well.
Managing change is essential because
organizational change accompanies the introduction
of new or changed products and processes. Managing
it well makes satisfying stakeholders more likely.
Managing expectations is our focus in this
book. As I mentioned above, expectations are the
criteria for success. Well-managed expectations
contribute to optimal performance.
Managing communication is a critical means
to the end of setting realistic expectations. Complex
efforts involve people collaborating with one another.
Expectations are set through effective negotiation,
problem solving, and decision-making—the major
factors in conflict management.
Managing conflict seeks to resolve disputes
while maintaining healthy relationships. It depends
on effective communications and is a means to the
end of establishing realistic, mutually understood
expectations.
Underlying these factors are mindfulness,
the ability to focus, and an open-minded system-
and process-oriented view. These are important in
tempering reactivity and counteracting other knee-jerk
tendencies that can and do come up if left unchecked.
Open-minded mindfulness enables us to have the
ability to overcome unskillful habits, negotiate
effectively, and make effective decisions by seeing the
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 Managing Expectations

big picture and the details and how they relate to one
another.
Looking at the Office Move, there is the need
for the participants to accept and manage change—
with the change in office location come life changes
for employees, disruption of normal operations, etc.
The stakeholders must make sure they have the right
processes to do what they want to do, including project
management methods, policies, and procedures. They
need to communicate with one another and resolve
conflicts. In the Office Move, optimal performance has
two dimensions—perform the move really well and
create a new setting within which the company can
operate optimally.

Performance Assessment
and Lessons Learned
How do you know if you have succeeded? You
can tell whether you have met expectations only after
the fact. Review performance against expectations.
Were the results in keeping with the expectations? Are
expectations realistic? What can be done going forward
to improve performance? What have you learned?
The chapter on assessment (see Chapter 8)
delves more deeply into the subject of performance
reviews.

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 Managing Expectations

3
Managing Healthy
Expectations

Why Manage Expectations?

H ave you have ever worked with others

without first making sure everyone knew what everyone
else expected? If you don’t make sure everyone agrees
beforehand about the nature of the end result, speed
of service, cost, benefits, the way the work is to be
performed, and uncertainty, you often experience some
unnecessary pain. Managing expectations avoids the
pain and increases the likelihood of success.
Bob, our Office Move manager, and the
executive leadership share the responsibility to
make sure that they both understand the vision and
expectations. Otherwise they will not be satisfied.
Bob is responsible for making sure that the rest of the
stakeholders understand both executive expectations
and their own, and that any conflicts among those
expectations are resolved.

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What Is Expectations Management?

It is the process of making sure that expectations
are:
• Rational: Can it be done given real world
conditions?
• Meaningful: Will it improve things—
make more money, increase quality, make
life better for the people involved, etc.? In
other words, why do it?
• Mutually understood: Do all the people
involved have the same understanding of
goals, objectives, and prevailing conditions?
• Accepted by all those with a stake in the
work: Does everyone agree that it can and
should be done?
Managing expectations is a process with five
steps, as shown in Figure 2.

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 Managing Expectations

Set
Expectations

Adapt Plan

Assess Perform

Figure 2: Expectations Management Cycle

The steps are:
• Set expectations by eliciting and discussing
objectives with key stakeholders,
• Plan the process that will achieve the
objectives,
• Perform the work in accordance with the
plan,
• Assess performance to determine if it
is progressing according to plan and to
determine if the plan is still accurate and
realistic,
• Adapt to the current circumstances by
making changes to the plan so that you can
maintain realistic expectations.
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 Managing Expectations

Planning involves identifying the work to be

performed; the people who will perform it; the required
materials, equipment, and facilities; and the schedule,
budget, and risks. The plan establishes expectations
about when the work will be accomplished, how much
it will cost, who will do it, how it will be done, and the
probability of delivering the expected results.
The steps overlap and influence one another.
Setting expectations involves planning and, in turn, the
plan is driven by the expectations. Performance (getting
the job done) is driven by the plan. Assessment, in
the form of periodic performance reviews, influences
expectations, the plan, and performance as stakeholders
adapt to current reality.

Healthy Expectations
Establishing healthy expectations helps avoid
the disappointment that comes when expectations are
not being satisfied. Healthy expectations are:
• explicit,
• mutually understood,
• realistic, and
• not too easy to meet.
Healthy expectations have a high probability
of being met given the conditions present at the time
the work is being done. Stretch expectations—those
that aren’t overly easy to meet, but are still possible to
achieve—can help motivate higher quality and better
performance.
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 Managing Expectations

It’s important to balance realism with the right

amount of stretch. If your expectations are low, the
probability of meeting them might be high, but you
lose the opportunity to fine-tune performance and
excite rather than just satisfy. If expectations are too
high or too much of a stretch, then the probability of
meeting them is low and the stress of trying for the
impossible may damage the long-term capacity to
perform.
Expectations must be known by all of the
stakeholders. Hidden or tacit expectations increase
the probability of disappointment. While initially
there may be disagreements, the open-minded
exploration of possibilities and constraints and a
desire for win-win outcomes usually leads to mutual
understanding. With a mutual understanding of each
party’s expectations, they can come to an agreement.
Even if there is no agreement, it is better to know
that early on, rather than after expending lots of time,
effort, and money.

Expectations Happen in
All Aspects of Life
Managing expectations is relevant to personal
as well as business situations. My friend, Mary, told
me about planning a kayak trip with a friend along the
coast of Maine. The friend was quite fit and had a sleek
kayak while Mary was less fit and had a borrowed,
slower boat. Once the trip started there was discord.
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 Managing Expectations

Mary’s friend expected an average day’s travel to be

about fifteen miles, while a good day for Mary was
around seven miles. Mary paddled much slower than
her friend. She was always way behind. This left Mary
feeling discouraged while her friend was frustrated
and impatient. Had they discussed their expectations
in advance of the trip, they would have come to an
agreement about how many miles they’d paddle each
day and at what pace. Or perhaps they would have
agreed to disagree and found other kayaking partners.
Regardless of the situation, the payoff
for managing expectations early on is a greater
likelihood of expectations being met and avoidance of
disappointment and conflict later, when it is far more
disruptive.

Barriers
There are barriers to setting healthy expectations.
People want what they want when they want it. This
wanting often clouds and closes the mind to rational
thought. It takes mindfulness, skill, and courage on the
part of those who question whether what is wanted can
be delivered. There is often a fear to push back against
the demands of senior executives, managers, clients,
and others who have power and are not open to setting
realistic expectations.
In the Office Move scenario, imagine what
would happen if Bob took hitting the move deadline
as an order that must be obeyed and fails to inform his
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 Managing Expectations

executives of the reality of significant risks to hitting

the target and the likelihood of not having the move
done by the deadline.
Overcome the fear of pushing back and deliver
bad news as early as possible to set realistic expectations.
Unrealistic expectations lead to disappointment.
Disappointment means failure.
Do what you can to encourage others to present
the facts and build a solid argument, even if it is not
what other people want to hear.
This concludes the exclusive excerpt from
Managing Expectation: A Mindful Approach to Achieving
Success. Click to get the full book, written by George
Pitagorsky, combining 30+ years of experience in high-
level Project Management and mindfulness-based
meditation. More details here.

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