Simplistically, enmeshment or merging electromagnetically with another

person is not compassion but fixing. Attempting to take onanother person’s

problem, combining your subtle structure with theirs from a place other
than the Edge creates an insidious, indistinct connection that is not healthy
or desirable.

Enmeshment occurs when you are operating with your awareness placed in
the Human Electromagnetic Field, and not keeping a distinct boundary at
your Edge. When we blend with another through the action of
enmeshment, we make an unconscious link that starts from the posture of
helping, caring, or loving and ends up being a draining, depleting
experience for both people. Ironically, it is manipulative and disrespectful to
enmesh with another person.  The most respectful way a person can be
present with a friend, loved one or business associate is at the Edge;
allowing them complete autonomy while, staying whole and awake to your
human potential.

Unfortunately, once enmeshment has occurred it can be difficult to

disentangle. People usually need to wake up to the idea they instinctively
enmesh and to realize the value of not doing it to shift this habitual pattern.
Most of us are aware when something like this has happened and feel
affected by the experience. Think about the last time you got tangled up
with another person and felt worse, unlike your self after it occurred.
Following an enmeshment it isn’t just that you are connected to another
person it is that you are trying to get rid of them by purifying their energies
through your system, taking on their Karma and their issues, absorbing and
identifying their physical pain and emotional distress as your own. You
might even be attempting to deal with their neuroses suddenly feeling
weirdly unable to cope with your life.

The worst part of this is that you inevitably forget that it happened and start
identifying their craziness and stress as your own. We humans take
on whatever is in our tribal environment. This might have worked in a small
pre-historic group where the survival of the tribe mattered more than any
individual. So everyone cleaned up the toxicity, imbalance and even insanity
of everybody else. It’s beautiful to think that when something bad happens
to one, it happens to all, and we can care for each other in such an altruistic
way. It is ideal really. Except for the fact that an enmeshment lifestyle
requires a small tightly knit clan or unit to work. And most diabolical of all
for the independent 21st Century human being, the development of
individual power, skills or accomplishments are subsumed by the group and
defused across the community.
How could enmeshment function in the modern world? Would it work in
your daily life when you interface with more people than your ancient
ancestor knew or saw in their entire life just walking down the street to
work? Automatic and instinctual enmeshment does not benefit anyone’s life
in such a populated environment. No wonder it is getting harder and harder
to find intimacy. Enmeshment means you are intimate with everyone you
encounter in a day and the more enmeshed you are the less you remember
who you are.

Here’s What Happens

After the initial impact of two energy structures leaves an enmeshment with
another intact, it creates not only an energetic entanglement  but much more
significantly you take on: Karma with this other person. Repeated
enmeshment can also create an obscuration (a cloak-like coating) at the
Edge and gum up your ability to sense from there. This merged connection
turns out to be unhealthy and damaging. It sends mixed signals about who
you are and by the very nature of this action puts us at crossed purposes
with our hearts desire and the very basic human need to sincerely care,
love, or help another. What started as a way to survive is now costing us our
effectiveness and healthy individuality.

Enmeshment is an Electromagnetic Field event that can shape your life and
leave you unable to distinguish yourself from other people in your family,
work and world. Whether you are the one enmeshing or being enmeshed
with the result is the same. Overwhelming others in this manner is not at all
helpful, but is instead a sophisticated form of manipulation, one that the
strongest energy always wins. It is an impossible madness to attempt to
control or direct your world by taking it on or merging with it.

It turns out enmeshment is costly to the soul. Not only do we shoulder and
process our brother’s and sister’s foreign energy. But we actually loose bits
and pieces of our own emotional life, our burdens and our triumphs when
we are unable to maintain a healthy, respectful and separate identity. Why
are we still instinctively responding as if everyone we meet is a member of
our long lost tribe? Taking on the toxic waste of a stranger to process and
purify is actually a pretty invasive thing to do. Enmeshment is almost always
a poisonous and costly event.

What About Intimacy?

If your intimate relationships depend on merging with your partner it’s time
for a new idea of what really deep connection can be. Choosing to be
together in communion with another is a mature act. It is the very definition
of adulthood. Two independent entities agree to become intimate, to
establish a shared ground of being and to engage in any form of close
personal contact. This requires desire, permission and choice.

Surrendering self does not require enmeshment. It is possible to engage

absolutely at the Edge of the Human Energy Structure and to incorporate all
that you are in a deeply personal connection instead of loosing your
boundary for the short-lived fusing with another person in wild abandon.
Passion is not restricted to loss of self-identity and it does not exclude the
ability to consciously be present with the object of your passion. Human
beings are instinctively passionate and when we love we immerse ourselves
into the experience. But what if instead of drowning we floated on the
waters of intimate connection and remained present to the needs and
desires of the other from the place of greatest compassion? What if
intimacy became the most spiritual of events: the acknowledgement of two
souls for each other in loving and passionate embrace? At the Edge this is
not just possible it is easily the most natural thing there is.

A Beautiful New Paradigm

It is time for a change, a beautiful new paradigm of how to be with one
another. Imagine a world where everyone was considerate and respectful
using the Edge Practice. Where differences were handled compassionately
instead of with over riding violence and controlling behaviors. Where
instead of attempting to  fix our neighbors we were present with them and
heard their concerns. Where your identity includes both your soul and  your
personal desires. Where intimacy was the choice and fulfillment of deepest
respect and compassion. Moving out of our pre-historic enmeshment
society into a world of respect and acknowledgment where all people are
together at the Edge.