HANDBOOK OF

THE TEMPLE OF THE

TAO OF CHRIST
About the Temple of the Tao of Christ
Welcome to the Temple of the Tao of Christ! We hope to answer your
deepest questions about God, existence, the purpose of your life, and how
everything all fits together.

OUR STORY
The Temple of the Tao of Christ was founded by Chase Neil, also known as
Zyreth, an online English tutor, Touch Therapy Life Coach and numerology
counsellor, who happens to be a born-again devout Christian as well as a
believer and practitioner of Taoism and Jediism as a philosophy…

“I have always been researching religions and mythology ever since I

remembered being able to read as a child in primary school in about third
grade. I always found the Greco-Roman pantheon, as well as the Norse,
Egyptian and Hindu gods and goddesses wildly interesting and buried myself
in their stories. But that is all they were to me – fascinating stories. Having
grown up as a traditional Baptist Christian, I had the notion that all other
religions were false and there was just one God –
Jehovah/Elohim/Yahweh/Jesus.

“However, I had the opportunity to hear some Baha’is speaking and decided
to check them out. I read through the Kitab-i-Aqdas and the Kitab-i-Iqan –
the two most foremost of the Baha’i holy texts – and there I was first
exposed to the idea that all the gods are actually, One, and that all major
world religions came from this One God; the One Changeless Faith of God
manifested in different ways. I had the opportunity to teach some English
Language (Language Arts) lessons under the theme ‘The Future’ to Grade
Nine students in 2009. A part of their assignment, in addition to having them
dream up future inventions, was to research methods that people have used
in the past to tell the future. I made sure to do my own research too, and
that was how I was introduced to numerology and I Ching. Being a curious
fellow, I tried them out and was pleasantly surprised and intrigued. They
actually were fairly accurate! Since then, I have been practicing Pythagorean
and Chaldean numerology and I Ching readings on and off throughout the
years.

“Some years later, I lost my fiancée, who was my entire world and I had
trouble coming to terms with this. I had been used to thinking
polyamorously my whole life, as far back as I could remember, and had just
adjusted to being monogamous. Having made the difficult decision to let go
a love of my life, D, to find someone who could be hers and hers only,
someone who could make her as happy as she deserved to be, I resolved to
make my whole life about Sammy. And it had been worth it despite the
ache, because making her happy made me happy. I had my whole future
planned out and in every aspect of it, Sammy was in it. Without her, nothing
seemed to make sense anymore. It was all just confusion and emptiness and
pain. My entire life started to crumble around me and nothing mattered. I
still believed God’s promise in the book of Romans 8:28 in the Holy Bible,
that “all things work together for good”, but somehow, it never meant
anything. What assurance was it to me that my baby, my meaning was gone
and now all things would work for good? Yes, I still believed that I had
eternal life as a believer, but I could not muster enough joy to even care
about that, much less to be happy.

“So I started withering away, ignoring my health, my job, my family until

while looking for Star Wars-related stuff on a half-hearted movie binge, I
found mention of a philosophy-religion called Jediism that was based on the
Star Wars franchise. My curiosity led me to the Temple of the Jedi Order at
www.templepofthejediorder.org, and I started studying with them. The Jedi
Code, the 16 Teachings and 21 Maxims of Jediism started me on a path to
sobering up and seeing reality in a different way. I got exposed to various
religious views as I studied different religions and read the book “The Power
of Myth” by Joseph Campbell and “The Book” by Alan Watts. Joseph
Campbell reinforced the idea that there was a Divine
Presence/Energy/Intelligence that spoke to mankind through nature, religion
and mystical experiences, and all these religions point to that one Supreme
Wonder/Divine Energy/Intelligence/Awesome Essence. Campbell in his book
“The Power of Myth” also made it clear that it was not the factual accuracy
of religions and myths that mattered, but the moral and life lessons that we
can get from their stories and the social-binding/defining rituals and rites
associated with them, since human beings need lessons to develop
personally, morally and spiritually, and we need structure/rites/pastimes to
define and order society, our place in it and to mark achievements and rites
of passage.

“I became interested in Taoism through my Jediism studies and read the Tao
Te Ching and I Ching. Studying Taoism brought new light to the meaning of
the I Ching and I really started to get what it meant by living according to
the natural phases of life and the will/way of the universe, of wu wei -
‘action without action’. Wondering about the possibility of being a Taoist
Christian, I did further research, and through my research, I became aware
of the ancient religion ‘jingjiao’ – the Religion of Light – the ancient Chinese
Taoist Christian sect formed when Christian missionaries migrated to China
to spread the gospel in the early 6th/7th century AD. The ‘Jesus Sutras’ and
 ‘The Secret Sayings of Ye Su’ - two ancient books resulting from that time
period - reinforced what I had learned through Jediism. In jing jiao, in ‘The
Secret Sayings’ the gospel mixed with Taoist and Zen Buddhist beliefs,
created a belief system that now reflected my view of the world and made
me at peace with my life experiences. The Secret Sayings of Ye Su, Tao Te
Ching and Holy Bible, and to a lesser extent, the Kitab-i-Aqdas and Kitab-i-
Iqan (the top Bahia holy books) became my measuring rule for mystical
experience and belief system. I hope to lessen the yoke around the
shoulders of devout people worldwide and introduce unbelievers to the
peace of God expressed through Christ and the prophet-philosopher Lao
Tzu.”

WHY WE WANT TO HELP PEOPLE

There are some people who are at a crossroads or low point of their life.
They want to know “Why is this happening to me?” or “What is the purpose
of my life? Why am I here?” or “How do I move from here to here?” or “Does
God really care?/Is there really a God?”

We are here to help answer these questions and help people to get a deeper
and more complete understanding of who they are, Who God is, and their
relationship to God, to their inner selves and to the cosmos.

We have all been at this point and we want to use the knowledge and
journey that helped us to help others.

TEMPLE OF THE TAO OF CHRIST’S OBJECTIVES

Our goals and objectives are the same as those of the ancient Religion of
Light (Jingjiao) Church in ancient China:

1. To penetrate the mysteries

2. To bless our readers/followers with a good conscience
3. To guide readers/follower to be great and yet empty
4. To return to stillness
5. To be forgiving
6. To be compassionate
7. To deliver all people from the weight of sin, karma and hopelessness
8. To do good deeds
9. To help people reach the other shore
10. To calm people in stormy times
11. To help people understand the nature of things
12. To maintain purity
13. To nourish all things
14. To respect all life
15. To answer the needs of those whose beliefs come from the heart.

We do believe that our 11 Statements of Belief and the teachings in the 16

Tablets are a potential source of hope and enlightenment for many. Through
them, we hope to fulfill our aforementioned goals and objectives, and seek
to live up to our motto, “Reaching hearts and healing the world with
the Way of the Tao and the Good News and love of Jesus.”

All the best,

Zyreth,
templeofthetaoofchrist.com
 The 11 Statements of Belief
The 11 Statements of Belief are the original doctrinal statements of
the Temple of the Tao of Christ when it was first founded.

1. All Religions are from God

We believe that all divine revelations are from God and all religions
serve specific purposes for specific peoples in specific times/ages, but
may be applied to multiple persons and times and places, since they
all come from the Divine.

2. Everything that Exists is God in Being; an

Extension/Manifestation of God
The universe, existence is God in being. God ‘spoke’ things into being
and, by ‘speaking’ it and willing it, God became the things that are
created. Thus, God exists both in and through creation, but at the
same time also exists outside of creation, space and time, in eternity.

3. Human Beings, as Extensions of God, are Able to

Communicate with the Aspect of God Within
God is the universe because God became everything that is, but at the
same time, God exists outside the universe. All human beings are
extensions of the universe – God existing in human form as a process
of the universe’s being – existing in specific points as a person. We are
able to reach the God in us through meditation.

4. Faith, Prayer, Worship and Love Connect Us to the

Energies of God Outside of and Throughout the Universe
We communicate with the aspect of God outside the universe through
faith, prayer and worship, and we touch the aspect of God within
others and allow the energies of God outside and within the universe
to fill us through understanding, love, compassion and goodwill
towards others.

5. The Most Complete Revelation is Found Jesus Christ/the

Bible, and the Most Comprehensive Path for our Times are
Found in Christianity and The Tao (as viewed through The
Secret Sayings of Ye Su), and the Baha’i Faith
All major world religions and their holy books are true – at least for a
certain time in a certain place for a certain people in a certain context
and for specific and general reasons within that time, place and socio-
cultural and socio-psychological context, and these scriptures and
revelations have met their purpose, although they were tainted by the
personal biases and perspectives of the vessels/emissaries that
revealed them.

God has spoken to humanity in many ways, but we believe that the
most complete revelation for a fulfilling life that honours God is found
in the revelation of Jesus Christ as can be seen in the Gospels of the
Holy Bible, and we believe that a complete comprehension of who and
how God is, man’s natural state and how the universe works and our
place in it can be seen most clearly in the Christian Holy Bible, the
Taoist scriptures, most notably, the Tao Te Ching, and also, in the
Baha’i scriptures; the Kitab-i-Aqdas and Kitab-i-Iqan. The Secret
Sayings of Ye Su unifies the message of the great revelations of the
Holy Bible and the Tao Te Ching.

6. Everything Has a Season, and We Forget This as Well as

Our True Natures
The universe follows certain patterns and phases and is always
changing. Everything is always becoming and, in becoming, the
universe sometimes forgets its true nature. We forget that we are
more than we appear to be and more than we think and feel we are,
more than our bodies, more than the circumstances and the things we
see and feel around us and inside us. We get in touch with our true
reality through connecting with God through meditation, faith, prayer,
worship, positive belief, love and goodwill for others and maintaining a
wonder and appreciation for life experiences, nature, the gift of life
itself and for other people as extensions and processes of the universe
and therefore, manifestations and extensions of God and parts of our
wider selves.
7. The Phases and Seasons of Life and the Universe May Be
Fairly Predicted like the Weather, but Faith in God is
Supreme
The changes of the universe occur according to established seasons,
patterns and phases. These seasons, patterns and phases follow
certain sequences, laws and trends. These may be seen and examined
through astrology, numerology, I Ching, the tarot and other methods.
These are as dependable as a weather forecast, however, which
foretells likely and most probable meteorological events based on
signs and systems in the atmosphere, but are not always totally
accurate and definitive or unchanging. Nevertheless, they do give a
fairly good picture of what energies, phases and cycles are affecting a
person or events beyond what we can see, and they reveal general
reasons for who and what, why and how someone is and things are as
they are in a given moment.

Humanity must not rely on these too much for living and ordering their
lives, however. As the purpose of life is to enjoy the journey and make
the best of it while seeking to fulfil our unique purposes and honour
the majesty of God.

Opening our hearts to faith, our true desire, and focussed positive
thoughts, as well as goodwill towards others, opens our hearts and
lives for God to change even the laws, patterns and cycles of nature
and the universe to work good on our behalf. Faith, prayer, yearning,
focussed thought, a heart of compassion and service, and proper
planning avail much. Quieting of ego and desire, and submission to the
will of God and the phases of the universe, however, brings peace and
unity with existence.

8. Evil, Pain and Death Are Necessary, though Unpleasant

As long as we exist within the temporal material world, there must be
opposites. There must be good and there must be evil. There is no
light without darkness. There is no life without death. Without pain,
there is no pleasure or relief. If there is male, there must be female.

As long as we exist within matter, time and space, there must be

extremes, there must be complements, there must be balance. There
cannot be, nor should there be any absence of pain, loss, fear,
poverty, death and evil, for that is not the nature of existence – not
while we exist on this plane. There must be two sides to a coin; two
(or three) sides to a story. Duality is the essence of everything. Only
when we have translated from time, space and matter to eternity, to
that realm outside of creation, can we be without beginning and end,
without maleness and femaleness, death or life, good or evil – one
with the Oneness – God; the All and Nothing. Until then, we should
accept the good with the bad in this mystic dance of being, and
recognize that all is part of One that is All and the All that is One.

9. We Suffer Because of Our Ego and Desires… (Yet

Desires Applied with Firm Belief Brings Us What We Need)
We suffer because of our desires and expectations, because of our
attachments. We desire love and get hate or indifference and so we
get heartbroken and depressed. We desire peace and meet upon war
and death, and so are conflicted within ourselves. If we but learn to
recognize that the unfortunate and unexpected, the evil and disturbing
are all a part of the pattern and process, we would be much better off.

We must have strong desire and faith to act upon God in the ether – in
and outside of the universe – to give us what we desire as we form
and execute plans towards our goals. The thing to do is to desire
strongly, fervently and totally without attachment. We must not get so
attached to people, objects and situations so that we cannot remove
personally from them without pain or a sense of loss of the self.
Though we have access to all things, nothing is ours or owed to us –
though we may partake of it in time when we apply the right energy.

We must trust the processes and will of the universe and the will of
God to mean us good, even in the down times, and to bring our
desires on track in a way that will best suit our purposes although we
cannot see or comprehend it. We must be firm and resolute in our
purpose, desire and belief, yet yielding to change and understanding in
perceived loss or failure.

10. We Serve and Guide Each Other and Learn from Each
Other Without Judgment
We share and support one another’s opinions, perspectives, feelings,
experiences, strengths and weaknesses without judgment for we
realize that through knowing each other, we get to know more about
ourselves and to know God; through accepting others, we accept God.
We reach out to the God in others through love, compassion and
goodwill, and also through honest communication and understanding
with a view to building each other, while we connect to the God inside
us through meditation. Thus is God’s plan manifested.

We are aware that we are not perfect and what we can be is not yet
fully manifested, but can be brought out through connecting with God
and through self-awareness, self-coaching and co-coaching with
others.

11. We Seek to Know God and His Will for Us, then Forge
our Own Path and Purpose, Based on Our Understanding
and Connection to God
We read the Scriptures in order to have an understanding of God’s
nature and plan for us. Having seen a glimpse of God and knowing
what is needed, we then seek our own purpose and craft our own life
plan based on our own unique God-given motivations, dreams, talents
and desires. We act, looking within ourselves and relying on God for
guidance, opening ourselves to Divine guidance through the Word,
prayer, meditation and an attitude of positive expectation and
openness to learn from our experiences and environment in all that we
do.

We recognize that while some methods and some religious and

ritualistic practices may appeal to some people, they may not appeal
to others. What works for one, may not work for all. We are creators
of our own happiness and purpose. The ultimate fulfillment is to know
who we are in and of ourselves and in our particular contexts, to
realize who God is and who we are in God, and to forge our own
destiny and happiness while making an impact on the world.
 The 16 Tablets
The 16 Tablets are short teachings made by Zyreth, posted as social
media statuses/posts before the compilation of the handbook.
The teachings are based on doctrines in the Holy Bible, Tao Te Ching,
The Secret Sayings of Ye Su, Kitab-i-Aqdas, Kitab-i-Iqan, I Ching, and
Jediism doctrines of the Temple of the Jedi Order (What Jedis Believe,
The 16 Teachings, and 21 Maxims), as well as The Power of Myth by
Joseph Campbell, The Science of Getting Rich (The Secret) by Wallace
D. Wattles, and works of Alan Watts (The Book, Meditation).
The teachings in the 16 Tablets, in many cases, repeat or build upon
what was already asserted in the 11 Statements of Belief. Some
introduce new items of belief and doctrine for the Temple of the Tao of
Christ.
The 16 tablets are included here in their original WhatsApp/Instagram
post form. Below each is the contents of the tablet re-written without
images to accommodate better visibility.
Tablet One

1. “Righteousness is a state of being; not a matter of doing. Righteousness is being right with
God, bring right with people, being right with your own true self. There are no set of good works
or sacred rituals or purifying acts that can replace being in harmony with God, with your soul and
purpose, with nature and with your fellow human beings.”
Tablet Two

2. “The universe, existence is God in being. God spoke things into being, and so by speaking and
willing it, God became the things that were created. Thus, God IS both in and through creation, but
at the same time, also IS outside of creation, space and time, in eternity.

“God IS the universe because God became everything that is, but at the same, God IS outside of
the universe. All human beings are extensions of the universe - aspects of God existing in human
form, through the universe existing, for the time being, in specific points as a person or thing. We
are able to reach the God in us through meditation. We communicate with God outside and within
the universe through faith, prayer and worship, and we touch the God in others and allow the
energies of the God within the universe to fill us through a spirit of love, compassion,
understanding and goodwill for others, and an attitude of giving. So, we become one with all. We
are, after all, despite our differences and distinctions, One.”
Tablet Three

3.“Salvation occurs before the baptism ritual, marriage occurs before the wedding ceremony, a
baby is made before the actual birth, education occurs before the graduation ceremony and
certification, success and achievement occur before the material culmination and physical evidence.

“Do not confuse the prize with the process. Do not short-change your progress and growth. What
matters is your passion, your belief and commitment. Believe it, want it, commit to it, and it is
already yours. In addition, have regard for others and develop a giving attitude, and the universe
itself will give you your needs.”
Tablet Four

4.“It is not for us to judge, for judging and censoring another is sin. It is for us to love, to seek to
understand - for no one acts without reason. It is for us to pray for another.

“A child of God knows that (s)he must show the person who errs and slips his/her danger if (s)he
sees the danger coming - love and duty holds the child of God responsible - but (s)he warns and
explains with love. If the erring or straying person listens, all is well, but if the person does not, the
only thing left to do is pray on that person’s behalf - to beseech the powers of the universe to steer
that person’s path right - and to pray for clarity of thought and discernment, for who knows
whether what you saw was the truth? And who knows whether his or her own failings and faults are
not mirrored in another to accomplish miracles or change in his or her own life?

“In the end, we act out of love and compassion, we act out of wisdom. Meditate. Seek your inner
thoughts. Pray without ceasing.”
Tablet Five

5. “Sin is not an act; it is a state of being, a frame of mind and spirit. Do not worry about your
sinful actions. Be concerned about the state of your inner being that influenced those actions, the
beliefs you possess, your outlook on life that make those actions occur and reoccur. Your actions,
feelings and thoughts are merely symptoms of the disease, and are not the problem itself. God
does not care so much about the sinful acts you commit. God cares more about the state of being
that feeds your beliefs, feelings, thoughts and actions. That is the real sin.

“And this should not drive you to guilt. Your guilt is useless unless it drives you to be better. And
the Way has been provided. The sacrifice of Christ on the cross has absolved you of guilt and
karma. Believe this and commit your way to God, or your approximation of God. Let your breath
remind you that you are still favoured and the Spirit of God yet breathes in you. Breathe in,
breathe out, focus on your breath and release yourself into the care of the One-in-All Who makes
all things possible; Who makes all things pure and good, and also makes the universe work out all
things together for our good. And determine to love all, for All is One, and love for the One sets
us free to be our true selves, and grants us eternity.”
Tablet Six

6. “It really does not matter whether you believe in God or not. If you should jump off a tall
building, you will fall and, most likely, hurt yourself very badly, even if you don’t believe in
gravity. Even if you disbelieve the notion of oxygen, plants will keep producing it and you will
keep breathing it in your disbelief.

“’In Him we live and move and have our being.’ As certain as the laws of gravity and magnetism
and the water cycle exist whether we want them to or not, the principle of “God will avenge”
stands firm. You may choose to look at it as karma, but what goes around, definitely comes back
around, and if we seek Him, we definitely will find Him, in the way most suited for us. Trust Him,
yield all to Him and He definitely will direct our path; you see things falling into place with no
explanation. Ask for what you truly desire, believe that you have it, trust Him to do it for you,
determine to have it and live a life of love, compassion, forgiveness, kindness and understanding,
and then you see that you get your desire from unexpected and unexplainable quarters. These
laws do not change, whether we believe or not.”
Tablet Seven

7. “Our ego, this craving to satisfy the ‘I’, the ‘me’, our attachment to possessions, people and
comfort - these are our sources of suffering. We want so much and so deeply, and when we fail to
get what we want, when things don’t go our way, when we lose something or someone we form
an attachment to, we are driven to despair, fear, hopelessness, depression, grief, jealousy and
anger. We hate, we war, we compete, we cling, we destroy ourselves to satisfy our pride, our
desires, our sense of worth and achievement. Yet, we already are champions by being here; out
of 300 - 700 million sperm cells, ours made it to the ovum. Despite the many hardships and
dangers and potential disasters, natural and man-made, in the world, we have survived to this
moment when so many didn’t. Out of the myriad of energies floating around in the ether, out of
the different life energies created and recycled in the Source, ours made it to our body to grow
into a soul. We are already unique; despite originating from the same Source, and being
extensions and manifestations of one universal God-mind-body, we all have unique fingerprints,
retina patterns, chromosomal arrangements. No two persons are ever alike, despite all being, in
essence, One. So why the strife? Why the fuss?”
“We all have everything that we need. The same desires which enslave and hurt us when
unfulfilled, bring us providence and peace when they are submitted fully into the hands of God.
‘Lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him.’ Trust in the process.
‘All things will be worked together for good.’ Yielding our desires like this, we are free to desire
greatly, and when we believe that we shall have what we want and make plans to bring these
things into being, trusting these plans to the will and power of God, then we shall have what we
want. And even if things turn upside down, we shall have peace, knowing that it will all be
alright.”
Tablet Eight

8. “As long as we exist within the temporal plane, there must be opposites. There must be good
and there must be evil. There is no light without darkness. There is no life without death. Without
pain, there is no pleasure or relief - they become meaningless. If there is male, there must be
female.

“As long as we exist within time and space, there must be complement; there must be balance.
There cannot be, nor should be any absence of pain, loss, fear, poverty, death and evil - ‘they must
grow together with the good until the harvest’. This is essential to the fabric of reality, to the
greater picture. There must be two sides to a coin; two (or three) sides to a story.

“Only when we have translated from time and matter and space to eternity can we be without
beginning and end, without maleness or femaleness, death or life, good or evil - one with the
Oneness - the All and Nothing. Until then, perfection can exist, at best, in the hope and knowledge
that all is One and One is All.

“Our mission in light of this? - Maintain the balance - good must always outweigh, but never
obliterate, evil; give hope and comfort in times of hopelessness and despair; manifest the Kingdom
of God within ourselves until He appear.”
Tablet Nine

9. “There is an unexplainable Energy that permeates the spaces between the planets and stars and
various forms and matter in space. Scientists and philosophers have formulated names for it such
as anti-matter, dark matter, the ether, etc. There is an unexplainable Energy in living things, which
Asian and Indian philosophy, martial artists and New Age healers call chi or prana. We call it God.

“God is Spirit, and spirit is energy. This formless, unexplainable, ever-present, intelligent living
energy ‘Person’ permeates and binds everything. When a sperm meets an egg, a biochemical and
spiritual process is effected, where energy/spirit is transferred from the surrounding ether/dark
matter (God) to the foetus to create chi/prana - life energy. Thus God breathes in us, the breath
(or energy) of life. This energy, combined with a fraction of the mother’s own life energy, develops
into a soul, a person, which will be molded and shaped by genetics, life experiences, the influence
of the stars, personal life choices and their own mental affirmations. We should, therefore, watch
our breath - it is the very essence of life, and mind our thoughts and beliefs - they become us, and
affect what experiences come to us from the ether.

“When we die, our life energy - our spirit - returns to that surrounding, binding, permeating Force.
We once more become a part of God. Why fear death? Whether we live or die, we are a part of God
and He is with us and within us.”
Tablet Ten

10. “As long as we exist on the material plane within time and space, there will be duality; light
and dark, good and evil, death and life, female and male. These exist to complement, balance and
complete each other. ‘And so a man shall leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife, and
they shall become one flesh.’

“The two halves make one whole; the dualities blending and complementing each other in
marriage to bring about a new creation. But what about those who live by submission to God and
the universe, who live naturally without personal desire and are led by the Spirit, by the Tao and
still find themselves polyamorous? - By nature, though rare, three things/three states can
constitute one whole - Father, Son & Spirit; body, mind/heart & spirit; solid, liquid and gas; and
so, it may be permitted that three may become one, with the consent and mutual love and
understanding of all, if fairness can be ensured.

“God hath prescribed matrimony unto you. Beware that ye take not unto yourselves more wives [or
husbands] than two. Whoso contenteth himself with a single partner from among the maidservants
of God, both he and she shall live in tranquility.” (Kitab-i-Aqdas 63)

“Monogamy is preferable and recommended. Let the child of God be guided by love, compassion,
submission and wisdom.”
Tablet Eleven

11. “The God of faith, spirituality and miracles is also the God of science. Science and faith cannot
be enemies, for the same God Who created and exists through one also created and exists through
the other. The God Who willed ‘Let there Be’ and so caused all things to Become, can also allow all
things to continue becoming in a series of evolutions unto more completion and harmony with the
environment and state of existence. Change is the constant principle of the universe, so creationism
and evolution do not cancel each other out. Neither do faith and medicine.

“Where the prayer warrior or shamanistic priest sees demonic spirits, the physician sees a
malfunction of organs or invasion by foreign bodies, and the holistic healer sees an imbalance or
stagnation of emotions and chi or prana, which is life and soul energy. It is all a matter of
perspective. All spirit is energy, and whether you cure the physical manifestation of your body by
operating on its organic parts or prescribing chemicals to alter its processes and responses, or by
manipulating the energies affecting body, emotions and aura through faith, massage, channeling
spiritual power, or with natural healing herbs and nutrients, it achieves the desired end ultimately.”
Tablet Twelve

12. “All religions come from God, and all are true in certain contexts and for certain peoples in
certain times. God has spoken to humanity through chosen divines via all religions, which have
served specific or general purposes in their given contexts, despite the personal biases of the
divines, but the most complete revelation of God is found in the Gospels of Jesus found in the
Christian Holy Bible, which has been corroborated by science, archaeology, prophecy and spiritual
experience. And the most philosophically sound religious book next to it is the ‘Tao Te Ching’.

“Nevertheless, no religion is more ‘correct’ than another, and it is not for humankind to follow
slavishly and blindly after the laws of God contained in the sacred texts. Rather, we first bind
ourselves to study of the Scriptures, meditation and service to others, so that we may know the
nature of God, the universe, and our place within it, and God’s plan for and requirements of us.
Then, submitting ourselves and our path to God, we free ourselves to live our lives, to seek our own
path even as we seek God’s will for us specifically, and enjoy our lives and fulfil our purpose.
“And that is the end and point of life; to know God, to glorify Him, to enjoy life and make the best
of it and to achieve the purpose(s) for which we were born. Numerology, astrology and the I Ching
can be of much help to predict our God-derived purpose, as well as the patterns of change of the
universe, just as a meteorologist predicts weather patterns, but these should not be used as a basis
to live our lives, but must be submitted to the principle of submission of our desire, ego and life
path to God.”
Tablet Thirteen

13. “Understand this, the power that you know as God is very real and living. God is in you and
around you; existing in and through everything you experience. Yet, at the same time, God is
outside of creation, residing within eternity; at the same time accessible and inaccessible, familiar
and incomprehensible.

“God has all power, but His power is made manifest through our belief and desire, and He resides in
our praise. Do you want it, really want it? Do you believe that you will have it, that you can attain
it? Is your mind stayed on God, or your approximation of Him? Do you yield to Him? Are you
thankful? Do you love others?

“Compassion, gratitude and unwavering focus on your desired goal and God’s presence are the
catalysts that make your situation and environment ideal for God’s power to work for you and
through you. If you can say ‘Yes’ to all of the previous questions, then know that God has all power
to accomplish what you will, and He will do it.

“Do not sit like others and say, ‘God, where are you? God, why You don’t do something?’ Instead,
why don’t YOU do something? Why don’t YOU invite Him to work in that situation? Why don’t YOU
become God-usable?
“Water will flow wherever it will, but it goes more readily and easily where you direct it by digging
ditches and trenches. Learn to see the Kingdom in all things.”
Tablet Fourteen

14. “A pastor/priest is neither holier nor more spiritually accomplished/connected than any other
believer or member of the congregation. There is only one mediator between God and man; Christ
has paved the way for us to be heard directly by God. A pastor merely holds and administrative
post, being Chief Administrator/Steward of the physical church plant and Human Resource
Director, directing and placing members as (s)he deems best for the operations of the church and
the growth of the church body.

“Since pastors are also responsible for preaching and teaching sermons, they are usually learned;
having formally studied the Scriptures and their context so that they may accurately impart the
Word of God. But formal, academic knowledge is trumped by wisdom and insight given by God;
something that any general member in the church may have in abundance more than the pastor.
The pastor may be qualified to teach the Word (based on his/her studies) and to, like a priest,
administer rites and sacraments (which in and of themselves, cannot bring righteousness and
peace), but it is the indwelling Spirit that provides instruction, guidance and encouragement that
refreshes, pierces and rocks the soul.
“Therefore no one person should control the message that is preached. No one has a monopoly on
God’s word. Read from the Bible and other Scriptures, sing songs of praise and meditate, then let
two or three members speak as they are led by God - no prior planning, but inner prompting - only
after then should the pastor/priest reveal his/her sermon (and comment on the prior messages, if
so led), so that all may be edified.”
Tablet Fifteen

15. “Your body and mind are the temple. What other temple do you need?
“Recognize the sacredness of your being. God is incarnate through each of us; we are Emmanuel -
God is among us - and we are One.”

“Be careful how much you pollute your body and mind with intoxicants. And release hate. Forgive -
for hate and rage poison the temple. Manage your ego. You are God’s; an extension and process of
His being. Why should you be angry with what God does to Himself?! That does not concern you.
Besides, all things will happen (and also work themselves out) in their time.

“By all means, build places of worship from which to sing praise to God, to meditate and read the
Scriptures together and be edified, and from which to pool resources to help the poor and serve
the community. Let the preacher plan sermons and preach, and let two or three minister as they
are led by the Spirit. However, recognize that your dedication to your family and vocation are the
ultimate ministry, and the life lived by submitting your ego, your desires, your will, your steps and
your plans to God is the ultimate worship.
And the life lived with love and compassion, while bettering and developing yourself and dedicating
the best of yourself into your work and passion is the ultimate service to the universe and your
fellowmen.”
 Tablet Sixteen

16. “Science, religion and spirituality can never be at odds with each other. A study of all reveals
that we are all connected; parts of One whole. They all complement each other. Science is a means
of understanding the physical elements and processes of the universe, while spirituality is a means
of understanding and harmonizing with the soul and mind of the universe and reaching out to - and
being reached by - God, Who created and Who exists in and through it while remaining outside of
and beyond His creation. Religion is merely institutionalized and formalized spirituality, and is one
means through which we can access the awesome splendor of the Wonder of Wonders and the
serene peace and empowerment of the All and Nothing, the One in All and All in One. Through
communion with Him and communion within ourselves and with nature, we achieve eternity within
this life. We transcend the limits of our minds and bodies, and are linked to the experience of
eternal-ness in a single moment. The gift of eternal life is both here and now, and in the future.

“The physical sciences tell us that our sun will die, and explode with searing heat - thus, the sun
will be darkened and fire will fall from the sky as foretold in the religious books. It will then implode
into a black hole, as all dying stars do, and will swallow everything, even light, bending even the
fabric of time and space.
The residual spirit energies of those who had not brought themselves in line with love and with
God’s will/the natural way of the universe will be incinerated and swallowed whole. Perhaps the
ozone layer will be destroyed long before this, and the Earth will burn and boil. Whether the last
days will be as a result of an astronomical event, the result of wars, pollution and global warming,
or direct spiritual purging by God, the residual spirit energies of those who have submitted their lies
to loving others and being led by God’s will and purpose, even while seeking their bliss and unique
purpose, thus making themselves God-usable, will be repurposed, and these energies, as part of
God, will be used in the creation and rebirth of a new universe. And so, we live forever, both in this
moment and in the world to come.

“Seek God in the Bible and the Tao, also the Kitab - if possible, also the Koran, the Vedas and other
holy books. Spend time in nature. Meditate. Sing songs of praise. Open your mind and listen. With
two or three, speak your truth in the congregation. Love. Forgive. Serve. Seek. Purpose to find. Be.
Just be. Believe always. Submit all. You will find Him, and you will find eternity.”
 On Tablet 10
Polyamory and the Believer
Tablet 10 introduces a topic which may prove problematic to believers.
Historically, Judaism had provided for Jewish husbands to have as
many wives and concubines as they could provide for, though, in
practice, it was mostly the wealthy men who indulged in polygyny.
When the Koran was revealed to Mohammed, he limited the total
number of wives to four, provided that the Muslim husband could
provide for all of them and deal justly with all. Baha’ullah then, in the
Baha’i Faith, later reduced this number to two wives, provided that the
parents of both the groom and bride consented to each marriage and
the husband could deal justly with both wives and there was no enmity
between them. The Baha’is later repudiated bigamy on the grounds
that it was impossible for there to not be enmity and that it was
impossible for a husband to deal justly with two wives.

The Baha’is had never heard of the words ‘polyamory’ and

‘compersion’, however. Nor was the Taoist concept of wu wei - action
without action, having no ego, living freely and naturally, dependent
upon and being led by the Tao - known by them. Although the Temple
of the Tao of Christ submits that monogamy is the preferred and
recommended way, it makes allowance for believers who are naturally
polyamorous, who have been this way for as long as they can
remember, and still are, despite submitting it to God and seeking
therapy for ‘correction’.

But polyamory must not be confused with polygamy, bigamy, or

polygyny. There are marked differences. In the first place, polyamory
applies to both sex genders - male and female - and requires
openness, honesty, consent, negotiation, equal power in the
relationship and compersion. For a majority of people, also, it is not a
choice, but a relationship orientation - how they are wired. In order to
better understand what polyamory is and its implication for the
believer, here are five articles I had previously written on the topic…
 WHAT IS
POLYAMORY? Posted on August 27, 2018 by polyadvocatesjm

Ever since I was a preteen, I always knew that I wanted two wives. It was not from
out of sexual greed or the “gyallis” (womanizer) mentality that some Jamaican men
are known for. Nor was it because of any misguided male chauvinism, overinflated
male ego or misogynistic tendencies.

The truth was, I just had the ability to fall in love with more than one girl and desire to
relate and commit on a deep, intimate level with them. (Well, at that time, it was more
like crushes – deep, overwhelming crushes on usually two or three girls). Enter young
adulthood, college and here I was, wanting to be with four ladies at the same time! I
kid you not! I literally fell in love with four females that I wanted to be with.

It might be easy to dismiss this as lust, but doesn’t all romantic union start out with
that intense desire – that excited rush, the overwhelming peace and ‘belonging’, that
‘connection’, yet intense nervousness whenever one thinks about or is in the presence
of the beloved? Sounds familiar? It is that desire, that curiosity, that “feel-good-ness”
that motivates us to form commitments and grow in love. And did I feel that feeling!!!

Needless to say, I wasn’t able to pursue all the objects of my affection. It was
certainly complicated. To this day I still wonder about the roads not travelled, from
time to time when my mind slips away, and I ponder what they could be doing now;
what lives they must be living. It certainly took years to get over them. Love and
desire deferred hurts and breaks you – whether you are monogamous or polyamorous.

Polyamorous – that word; what does it mean? The adjective ‘polyamorous’ comes
from the noun ‘polyamory’. Wikipedia defines polyamory as,
“the ability or capacity to love more than one person at a time. Sometimes seen as the
practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than partner, with the
knowledge of all partners involved.”

Psychology Today defines it as “the practice of maintaining consensual, openly

conducted, multiple-partner relationships in which both men and women have
negotiated access to additional partners outside of the traditional married couple.”

Most people (at least the ones I have come across) see the definition of polyamory and
instantly assume that it is all about orgies and threesomes/foursomes or being
irresponsible/immature and afraid to commit. But nothing could be farther from the
truth. After all, relationships are about more than just sex and indeed, there are several
fulfilling intimate relationships in which sexual intercourse does not come into play at
all – it is the same for polyamorous (or poly, for short) people. You can follow this
link to see what Psychology Today has to say further about what poly is and what
poly is not.

You can imagine that with all the misconceptions about polyamory, it is not likely to
be very well received, especially in a country where Christianity is practiced as the
majority religion and monogamy within marriage is the socially acceptable
relationship! It must be that polyamorous people are promiscuous – and promiscuity is
fornication at the least and prostitution at worst!!! As this article in Flare
magazine explains, however, polyamory is “about loving multiple people – not
(necessarily) sleeping with them.”

Eradicating the myths and misconceptions about polyamory can go a long way in
helping poly people to have peace of mind and feel at ease being themselves. God
knows I used to give myself a guilt complex about my feelings for more than one
woman until I found out about the term and phenomenon of polyamory. I could
finally put a name to what I was going through!!! I finally found others who were just
like me!

Being poly is by no means easy. Openness and communication is key. You have to be
totally honest and talk about things in detail – no assumptions. You have to cater to
the needs and feelings of all partners involved. If you think trying to compromise and
adapt to one person for life is hard, try doing that with two or three partners!!! It
certainly is hard work, but for those of who are wired this way, there is no other way
to be, and it is especially satisfying when we can make our poly relationships work.

I am certainly glad that I have my two partners in my life; Sammy and Chrissy.
(Sammy is poly and Chrissy is monogamous) It is by no means easy, but it is worth it.
Love is always worth it!
 BE AUTHENTIC Posted on August 28, 2018 by polyadvocatesjm

Find the courage to be authentic. Not everyone will like you, but
no one can if they don’t get a chance to know you.

– Lori Deschene
In the year 2003 at the age of 17 years, about two years after I had accepted Jesus as
my Lord and Saviour and been baptized, I said to one of my church sisters, Sis Cam,
“I want to have two wives.”

I was considered a good Christian ‘yute’, so you could imagine her surprise and
confusion. “Why would you want two wives?” she asked.

I don’t quite remember the explanation that I gave, but I remember that it was not
something that she could have understood, and the matter was quickly dismissed.
Being baptized at the age of 15 years in April 2001, there were few things I was sure
of; 1) that my sins were forgiven and I had no reason to fear condemnation from God
or man; 2) that no matter what had happened or would happen, God would provide for
my needs and work all things together for my good (still my mantra to this day –
Romans 8:28); 3) that I wanted to keep my virginity until marriage; and 4) I wanted
more than one wife. As you can imagine, number 4 proved to be quite problematic.

For most of my young adult years, I struggled with this side of myself. I did not find it
hard to be faithful to my girlfriends. It was that I found it hard to not fall in love with
other women while I was already in love with my partner.
I do not find that many people can relate to this. While many can relate to sexual
interest in or attraction to another person who was not their partner, my interest was
more in bonding personally with other females – not hiding and running around like a
cheater, but something open, honest and consensual. This was something that I was
taught was wrong, and I did not want to be a fornicator. But how could I marry more
than one woman? Bigamy is a crime, and having more than one partner is frowned
upon, at least in the Christian circles.

What resulted from me trying to deny myself was this dull emptiness, as if a part of
me was missing. I was not living my authentic self. With each potential love that I
denied for propriety’s and piety’s sake, I denied a part of myself. There was
something missing. Until 2011. I fell totally head over heels with Sammy.

I had supposed that I would never marry. I didn’t think it was possible to have what I
wanted, and for someone to complete me. But then Sammy turned my life around. I
felt as if I could be monogamous with her and needed to form no deep, close,
personal, intimate soul-connections with anyone else but her. However, with time, my
poly tendencies started to tug at me, but not enough to cause me to want to seek
anyone else. I could get by with the occasional flirting – nothing too serious. This
allowed me to live a monogamous poly life with the woman I loved. It was all about
making Sammy happy.

But then a series of unfortunate events occurred and Sammy and I broke up. I was
devastated and was back to my poly self, however, I became a user and cheater. In my
state of hurt, I hurt others and it felt incomplete. Again, I was being inauthentic. Being
poly was about being open, honest and loving – it should be all about love. To find
myself, I had to be myself; myself as I truly was. I met Chrissy and she accepted me
and my polyamory. I found out about polyamory and accepted myself for what I was.
Sammy and I got back together and she too, accepted this part of me. Now, I am able
to live at ease. I need no one else, because this, I believe, is how I am meant to be, at
least until God or the universe decides to instil a change in me.

Unless, we are authentic, living out our true selves and our true purpose, we can never
truly be happy nor can we be at peace. This applies not only to being poly or
monogamous, but to every aspect of our lives.

I have been a classroom teacher for eleven years, but I hate teaching in the classroom.
I never wanted to be a teacher; I wanted to make a living being a cadet officer.
However, cadetting is voluntary. It doesn’t pay, and the only way I saw that I could be
involved in military activities while interacting with youth and children was to
become a teacher and reserve military officer. But I never wanted to be a soldier,
though I wanted to be involved in military activities, and I found the military to be a
miserable place. So the best option I saw at the time was to keep my job as a teacher
and join the Jamaica Combined Cadet Force; at least teaching kept me close to the
cadets. But the universe has a way of pushing you towards your true self if you allow
it to (and to push you around, if you allow it, too) and soon, the stress of being in a job
I didn’t want, coupled with the stress caused by the series of unfortunate incidents I
talked about earlier, caused me to become sick. I left teaching and started my own
cadet organization and am now creating jobs through it. By listening to myself, I have
started to feel more complete. My salary is less than I had before and less consistent,
but it is worth it because I am following my bliss.
Follow your Bliss. This is Joseph Campbell’s advice in his book The Power of Myth.
How do you follow your bliss? First we find out what makes us happy, what makes us
feel “free” and “like ourselves”. Then we have to question who we really are. Joseph
Campbell says there are three things that prevent us from following our dreams and
attaining self-actualization and happiness; fear, desire and social duty. If we were not
fearful of losing something/someone or fearful of the consequences of our choices, if
we did not yearn to attain some material thing or position, and if we were not
burdened down with guilt or the weight of duty to fulfil some expectation or social
responsibility, who would we be? What would be doing? What would we want? If we
can separate ourselves from our fear, desire/greed and obligations and identify what
makes us tick – what excites us, yet sets us at peace, then we have found our bliss and
then we have found our purpose – to be authentic and pursue our bliss.
Are you up to the challenge? My wish for you is that you listen to yourself and find
what makes you “you”, and find your bliss, then pursue it. Regardless of what the
consequences are. It will be worth it.
Images found at:

https://www.google.com.jm/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=
rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjXv_z8yZDdAhVNpFkKHc6bCEkQjRx6BAgBEAU&ur
l=http%3A%2F%2Flistposts.com%2Fstruggles-and-realities-of-being-
polyamorous%2F&psig=AOvVaw01bGMMSOk6wUyvPYl666mM&ust=153557422
0613149
https://www.google.com.jm/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=
rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiRvtfXx5DdAhUitlkKHS1IC2oQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=h
ttps%3A%2F%2Fquotefancy.com%2Fquote%2F6392%2FJoseph-Campbell-If-you-
do-follow-your-bliss-you-put-yourself-on-a-kind-of-track-that-
has&psig=AOvVaw3ttADhT5M4zRG6o89Pog8M&ust=1535573564179937
https://www.google.com.jm/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=
rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwj3oe_ZyJDdAhVtw1kKHWWjB2IQjRx6BAgBEAU&ur
l=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F569353577868812714%2F&psi
g=AOvVaw3864EnbHElnmrR_JU8jVJv&ust=1535573901786109
https://www.google.com.jm/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=
rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjdvI70yJDdAhXRxFkKHfBpCmQQjRx6BAgBEAU&ur
l=https%3A%2F%2Fauthenticwoman.co%2Fauthentic-whatever-emotional-cost-pain-
goes-away-regret-life-lived-trying-plastic-version-
not%2F&psig=AOvVaw1yM6r6KZU5ZBDrzBURBdx6&ust=1535573953584578

BE DIFFERENT Posted on August 31, 2018 by polyadvocatesjm

If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how
amazing you can be.

– Maya Angelou
Having two partners to share ideas with and plan with certainly helps to
broaden perspective. While Chrissy feels that we should feel free and happy
to be who we are and pursue what we love and not be bothered by what
people think and say, Sammy feels more comfortable playing it safe and
keeping in the shadows. In her words, “Society is not as accepting of the
situation and I would rather (our child) not get teased for it… or some other
backlash.”

This is a valid and serious point. While I would rather teach our li’l’ angelic
terror how to be confident in herself, how to surround herself with positive
people and avoid the detractors and naysayers and how to fight back and fight
on when necessary (she has some weird quirks of her own that might get her
teased, anyway), the truth is, that the safest course many times, is to play it
safe. And this gets me thinking…

It takes much courage to be different; to go against the grain. People

persecute and ostracize people who are seen as ‘different’, ‘weird’ or ‘other’.
Even from childhood, kids tease and bully those who are not like them. As
adults, we put laws, customs and unspoken rules in place that deny rights,
opportunities and benefits from those who do not go with the flow or fall in
line.
The boy in high school who decides to pursue cosmetology or foods and
nutrition/culinary classes instead of sports or art, the girl with her own
unconventional sense of fashion, the business executive or employee with a
vision or way of doing things that is waaaaaaaaaaay different from everyone
else, the person who decides to reserve him or herself for marriage, the child
or adult with a clumsy, stuttering tongue – differences cause us to stand out,
and where these differences are seen as deviations from the norm, they may
be seen as weakness or a threat to the way things are. Polyamory is one such
deviance. Poly persons may find themselves facing much ridicule or
aggression as a result of their peculiar desires and ways of pursuing
relationships.
The Polyamory Pride Flag is a symbol of the ostracizing or persecution that
some polyamorists face.

According to the designer of the poly pride flag, Jim Evans (1995),

The poly pride flag consists of three equal horizontal coloured

stripes with a symbol in the centre of the flag. The colours of the
stripes, from top to bottom, are as follows: blue, representing
the openness and honesty among all partners with which we
conduct our multiple relationships; red, representing love and
passion; and black, representing solidarity with those who,
though they are open and honest with all participants of their
relationships, must hide those relationships from the outside
world due to societal pressures. The symbol in the centre of the
flag is a gold Greek lowercase letter ‘pi’, as the first letter of
‘polyamory’. The letter’s gold colour represents the value that
we place on the emotional attachment to others, be the
relationship friendly or romantic in nature, as opposed to
merely primarily physical relationships.
As indicated by the horizontal, black stripe, many poly people have to hide
from the world because of societal pressures – although they are honest and
open with their partners. Polyamory is not an easy concept to understand by
those who are not open to understanding it. Compersion, that feeling of
happiness or pleasure that one gets from seeing one’s partners being happy with their
other partner(s) is foreign and incomprehensible to many. The concept of
seeking to build and maintain multiple consensual, emotional relationships
and not just for sexual fulfillment is not readily grasped by the ‘regular’ or
‘normal’ person. It is easy for this to be seen as cheating or being
promiscuous, irresponsible, noncommittal or shallow, and thus, it is easy to
ban, ostracize or persecute such relationships.

People who deviate significantly from the norm need to develop an inner
strength and a conviction of who they are and what they want in order to resist
the pressure to be other than what they are. As a sapiosexual, demisexual,
polyamorous Taoist Christian Jedi chessboxer (Google is your friend), I know
what it is like to be different and looked at weirdly or being ridiculed for being
different, but I have always thought that it was better to have a hard time
doing what you love and being yourself than to pretend to be who you are not
and suffer inside. It is better to die than to die on the inside.

In her article How to Be Happy Being Different (2016), author, therapist and
coach Beth Burgess shares,

“Much of my life, I struggled with the dilemma of wanting to be unique, but also
wanting to be like everyone else. I wanted to be my own person and express my
individuality, but I also couldn’t bear the thought of not being accepted or standing
out so much that I risked people commenting on it. This tug-of-war manifested itself in
every way possible, right from my teens to my mid-twenties.”

So how do you enjoy being different, weird, happy ole you, despite what
others think or do or say? Nicole Knox-Gray, a health and wellness coach and
self-proclaimed ‘happiness hunter’ gives three tips in her article 3 Surefire Ways
to Embrace beingDifferent. These are:

1. Stay hell bent in your belief of yourself

“Believe in yourself and who you are deep down. Know that you are a great person
with so much to give to this world. If you have self-belief, then no one can ever bring
you down unless you let them. Own it.”

2. See it as an opportunity to teach others

“Use whatever is different (or, as I like to call it, rocking) about you to teach others…
Sometimes people just don’t realize, or are ignorant to things they don’t know much
about. Once people know, they tend to change their tune. They become supportive
because they have more of an understanding. People are just scared of what they
don’t know, so inform them.”

3. Surround yourself with your cheer squad

“You know those people, the ones that always have your back no matter what
situation you get yourself into. Those people are always going to support you and give
you sound advice.
“Use them to your advantage whenever you need. Call them, hang out with them, and
make sure they are around you to keep that resolve that you have burning strong. You
need them…
“On the flip side, don’t give your time to negative people. You don’t need to be
around them. Let them slowly drift from your life. In their space, bring in the positive
people. They will lift you up.”

You can read the rest of Beth’s and Nicole’s articles here and here. They are
real gems. And so are you.
Further Reading:
Finding Strength in Being Different – Nozomi Morgan
 HOW DO YOU
DO IT?
(COMPERSION
AND COMMUNI
CATION) Posted on September 8, 2018 by polyadvocatesjm

My friend, Janice Wilson – who manages the WordPress site The Balance, asked me,
“How do you do it? How do they (Sammy and Chrissy) agree to it? What is going
on?”

I had a puerile moment when I thought of rocking out that line from KB’s song, ‘I’ma
Just Do It’ where KB sings out, “I do it! I’ma just do it!” Lol. I can be really crazy at
times – as Jamaicans say, “Nah nuh head.”
However, I responded to her question by stating, “Compersion, mi dear (my dear).
Compersion with communication makes it work.”

But what is compersion? For those of us who are not in the poly circle, this is an
unfamiliar term. Wiktionary.org describes compersion as,

“The feeling of joy one has experiencing another’s joy, such as in witnessing a
toddler’s joy and feeling joy in response. The feeling of joy associated with seeing a
loved one love another; contrasted with jealousy.”

There is a reason that the word compersion is not known by everyone. Dr Elizabeth
Sheff in her article ‘Jealousy and Compersion with Multiple Partners’ on Psychology
Today‘s website explains,

“The flip side of jealousy, compersion or the warm glow of happiness that comes
when one’s lover is happy with one of their other lovers, is so little known that the
polyamorists had to make up a word for it.”

This is incomprehensible for some people, perhaps for the majority of people. As my
friend Janice’s husband, Okive said to me, “That (is) very hard for me to think about.”
This is understandable, for Okive and Janice are monogamous, and their site The
Balance, is all about balancing work, rest and play, and teaching monogamous
married people or people about to get married how to maintain and enjoy happy,
balanced and fulfilling married lives. For people of the poly persuasion/orientation
and people in polyamorous relationships, however, compersion is a necessary feeling
to have. Compersion cannot be faked or forced. It does not work that way. Dr Sheff
iterates further,

“It is important to note that compersion must be authentic to truly work. Feigning
compersion with forced cheerfulness in the face of pain will only go so far. Talking
about discomfort early and often tends to be a far better strategy than “fake it till you
make it,” which more often leads to explosion and disaster.”

This brings me to my second point – How do we do it? – Communication. Poly

people communicate. A lot. Totally. Honestly. Openly. We discuss everything.
Nothing is left up to assumption. Having compersion does not mean that we do not get
jealous, but what do we do when jealousy rears its head? We talk. We say how we
feel and why we feel the way we do, instead of attacking our partners. Often, jealousy
springs from another, underlying problem or set of problems, or else a feeling of
inadequacy.
According to Franklin Veaux on his poly website MorethanTwo.com,

“Jealousy isn’t really a response to seeing your partner with someone else, at least
not directly… Jealousy is most common when somebody feels insecure, mistreated,
threatened, or vulnerable in a relationship. If you feel secure in a relationship, you
don’t get jealous. Jealousy is not the problem; jealousy is the SYMPTOM of the
problem. Address the insecurity or the things underlying the feelings of vulnerability,
and you address the jealousy. So the trick to making a poly relationship work is to
make everyone involved feel secure, valued, and loved.

“A poly relationship depends much more than a traditional relationship on mutual

security and trust. Even the smallest amount of insecurity in a poly relationship can
quickly be magnified to the point where it can be lethal to the relationship

“The problems are magnified even more if you try not to let your fears and your
feelings show. One key to making the relationship work is to talk about your fears,
openly and immediately, EVEN IF YOU THINK THEY’RE IRRATIONAL.”

Talking it out, actively listening and taking tangible steps to assure our partner goes a
long way to create balance, reassurance and rapport in a relationship, whether it is
monogamous or poly; even more so for poly relationships. How do we communicate
in a polyamorous relationship? You can find out here, here and here. Trust me, poly
people communicate on a deeper level than most are used to. And learning how to do
it will definitely boost your relationships and interactions with others – whether poly
or mono – whether work, social or intimate relationships.

Further Reading:
Elizabeth A. Sheff – Jealousy and Compersion with Multiple Partners
Franklin Veaux – Communication Is Tougher than You Think!
Franklin Veaux – The Theory of Jealousy Management
Melanie Ginsburg – Compersion is the Word You’ve Been Missing Your Whole Life
Polyamorous Misanthrope – I Didn’t Mean It!
Polyamory School – One Rule for Polyamorous Beginners
PolyNatural.org – Communication

CHRISTIANITY
AND
POLYAMORY Posted on October 31, 2018 by polyadvocatesjm
I have been asked many times about how I balance being polyamorous with
being a Christian. It is easy to see how being a believer and follower of Christ
and the Bible will conflict with a polyamorous nature or mindset. However, I do
not think that I have to ‘balance’ anything; I merely have to ‘be’ – to allow
myself to be as I am while I submit to the Holy Spirit for guidance, correction
and empowerment. I ‘am’ polyamorous. I ‘am’ a believer and follower of
Christ. It is as simple as that to me. Others might find this to be confusing.

Personally, I do not have the same theology as many of my brothers and

sisters in Christ do, and to me, that is ok. The Apostle Paul, in the book of
Romans chapter 14, writing to the Christian church in Rome, tells them that it
is ok for some believers to eat meat and for others to refrain from meat, and
for some believers to regard one day as sacred and for others to see all days
as the same. We might have different doctrines, but the same hope, the same
Spirit. While I do believe in the existence and unchanging nature of God, and
while I believe in the historical, scientific and prophetic accuracy of the Bible
and the authors of its books being inspired by God, I don’t take the entire holy
Anthology taken together to be the infallible, unerring Word of God. Neither do
I think its precepts are to be necessarily followed painstakingly to the letter in
order to attain righteousness and eternal life. Instead, I take the Bible as a
guide, a lighthouse that illuminates the path to take and which gives a glimpse
of the nature of God.

Every revelation given by God to man is coloured by the man’s own culture
and personal perceptions. I do not think that there is any way around this.
Does that mean that the books of the Bible are any less inspired or divine?
No. But I feel that they are a revelation of what God is like and a set of
guidelines, rather than rules. Jesus set us free from righteousness gained
from laws, rituals and obeying commandments. It is understandable that
saints coming from a Jewish religious background of doing righteousness
would want to infuse a degree of Judaic good acts and holy behaviour into the
new grace covenant and relationship. Thus, we had the church elders in Acts
Chapter 15 discussing how to preach the gospel to the Gentiles and which
laws and ordinances they were to be made to keep. The book of Colossians
makes a great case of freedom from the restrictions of rule-keeping and
adherence to laws in order to be righteous, especially Chapter 3. I think that a
life lived in accordance with one’s good conscience, marked by love for our
fellow humans and a mindset of faith and gratitude, and in accordance with
the reflection and guideline of what God requires us to be and become, as
seen through others’ experiences in the Bible as a measuring stick, with a
desire to please Him, even as we seek to know ourselves, is a life that is
worthy and well-lived.

After knowing God through the Scriptures and through fellowship with other
believers, I feel that Christians should develop a personal relationship with
God through prayer and meditation and service to others. This relationship
may or may not be different from the norm. The question may be asked,
however, “But what about believers who believe that the rules of the Bible
should be applied and lived in every social and cultural context? What if the
Bible, to another polyamorous believer, is not merely a guideline to lead one
to a personal relationship with God that is true to one’s self, but is a book of
policy and strict requirements that must be followed to the letter?” To that, I
say, 1.) Let every man be convinced in his own mind (Romans 14:5), and 2.)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; acknowledge Him and He will direct your
path (Proverbs 3:3-5).

Could I be wrong on this matter? Could be. Just as anyone else could be
wrong on sticky doctrinal matters such as covering of heads, speaking in
tongues and women preachers. But I submit that a Christian can be holy and
polyamorous. Polyamory, after all, is not being promiscuous or immorally
irresponsible, but denotes a commitment to the spiritual and emotional growth
of one’s partners and, if sexual intercourse is involved, there is sexual fidelity
only to one’s partners with the full knowledge, acceptance and permission of
all involved.

There is one sticky issue, however – that of marriage. The Jews of New
Testament times had become monogamous by the time of Jesus, with
Rome’s institution of monogamous marriage. The Romans’ insistence on one
wife and one husband put an end to Jewish tradition of polygamy. Whether
this was due to an act of God or human interference is anyone’s guess, but
marriage became an institution regulated by the state. And in the 1600’s the
Pope declared that a marriage was only valid if solemnized before a priest; a
tradition and policy which has remained over the centuries. How does a
polyamorous believer live with this? After all, Romans 13 adjures us to honour
the laws of the land.

Some persons find a way around this by having purely religious marriage
ceremonies, pledging their lifelong commitment to their partners before
witnesses – an act that cannot legally go on the books, since bigamy is a
crime – and then they satisfy the law by signing to each other the power of
attorney, so that all parties may legally take care of the others’ affairs, and
legally alter their names to take on the husband’s surname. Some marry one
spouse, then divorce and marry the other person, but this might prove
problematic. Others try to deny and destroy the polyamorous parts of
themselves or else fast and pray and submit it to God, so that He can make
them fit for monogamous marriage. Whatever way works best for the
relationship and for all concerned, as guided by the Holy Spirit, should be the
way adopted. I, myself, prefer the first choice and a bit of the last – submitting
my partners and relationship to God, day by day, so that anything I do is not
contrary to His will.

For Further Reading:

Christian Ethics and Polyamory
Polyamory and Christianity: Strange Bedfellows, or Loving Companions?
The Bible, Monogamy and Polyamory
Why Christians Need to Think about Polyamory