Confessions of A Gay PDF

Confessions of a Gay Disney Prince
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/25979119.
Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: One Direction (Band)
Relationship: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Disney World & Disneyland, Past
Relationship(s), Past Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, Substance
Abuse, Eventual Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional
Hurt/Comfort, Past Eleanor Calder/Louis Tomlinson
Stats: Published: 2020-08-18 Chapters: 130/130 Words: 312573
Confessions of a Gay Disney Prince

by jayjaydray
Summary
"You're way off here, darling, because there is not gay in dis-nay, nor will there ever be.
You're not a damsel. You're just in distress but I won't be saving you. Save yourself."
THE OFFICIAL WATTPAD STORY REUPLOAD BY THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR.

Once Upon
Chapter Notes
hello OGs, RR, or FTR [and if you're none of these and came to this brand new, strap
in for some storytime.]
This book was published on Wattpad in 2013, in two versions. It was completed in
2016 (130 chapters) and during its time there was read almost 30 million times and
won two WATTY AWARDS.
It is being re-posted here because Wattpad decided to delete my account and won't
restore it. It is old writing that has not been revised. I am simply making sure it doesn't
disappear into the abyss since the story meant a lot to a lot of people.
For more information on me, my story, wattpad bullshit see my card. You'll also find
fan-letters, fanart and behind-the-scenes stuff of the old confessions on there as well. I
compiled it as a way to preserve its legacy.
IF YOU COME TO ME ASKING TO RE-UPLOAD THIS ON WATTPAD, I'LL

ASSUME YOU'RE A MORON WHO DID NOT READ MY FAQ AND WHO
DOES NOT UNDERSTAND COPYRIGHT LAW.
PS: The story is written in script format. Why? I just thought it'd be fun.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
"CONFESSIONS OF A GAY DISNEY PRINCE"
***
SAGA 1: THE PRINCESS IN THE TOWER
Chapter 1: Once Upon
[McDonalds, Walt Disney World in Florida, 1:47pm, Lunchtime]
HARRY: “Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away—“
LOUIS: “Is this the ‘Shrek is love, Shrek is life’ story? Because I would not like a side of fries
with that.”
ELEANOR: “Louis, enough.” (to Harry) “You were saying, Harry?”
HARRY: (confused) “Okay, yeah.” (coughs) “So once upon a time, there was a king with seven
sons. He was a kind king, a good king, and he had raised seven good sons. The sons started to
marry off fairly quickly because of their good-manners and dazzling looks. They went on
dangerous quests in search for their lovely princesses. The king rejoiced at giving his blessing for
every union. The queen loved the brides. The people held great celebrations whenever the princes
visited. There was one problem, however. The oldest son, the dauphin, the heir to the throne,
Prince—“
ELEANOR: (excitedly) “Harry!”
HARRY: “Prince..." (hesitates) "Harry did not want to marry.”
ELEANOR: “Hey, that rhymes!” (clapping her hands like a child) “How fun.”
LOUIS: (deadpanned) “Gay.”
ELEANOR: “Louis!”
LOUIS: “Having or showing merry, gay, Eleanor.”
HARRY: “Yeah, sure. The king and queen worried about him as he was getting old—“
ELEANOR: “How old? Like thirty?”
HARRY: “No, no, like, oh I don’t know, twenty-two. Princes married young back then.”
LOUIS: (cynical, sarcastic) “Back when exactly? You didn’t specify a year. This story sure has a
lot of plot holes.”
ELEANOR: “It’s a fairytale, Louis.”
HARRY: (ignores him) “While his brothers brought their brides to the banquet, he sat at the head
of the table, alone and silent and—“
LOUIS: “Was he ugly? He must have been ugly. Was he a troll? Was he Shrek?”
HARRY: “No! He wasn’t. He was the most attractive out of all of them actually with a chiseled
body—
ELEANOR: “And curly brown hair and big green eyes. He had dimples too. And a smile to die
for and when he looked at you, it felt like the sun was shining on your face and you were the most
important thing in the world. And he was kind, so kind, and—”
LOUIS: (annoyed) “Shut up, Eleanor. We’re telling the Shrek story, not your private, shower
fantasies.”
HARRY: “We’re not telling the Shrek story…”
ELEANOR: (huffing) “You shut up. You’re no fun. You ruin everything.”
HARRY: (trying to appease them) “Sure, yeah, with all those things, Eleanor. Harry was a catch.
Many princesses wanted to be his because he was brave and sweet and very romantic.”
ELEANOR: “So why didn’t he get married then?”
LOUIS: “Because he was a pussy.” (snorts)
LOUIS: (laughing) "With a small pee-pee.”

ELEANOR: "What are you, ten?"
LOUIS: (smirking) “Ten…inches.”
HARRY: (grumbled under his breath) “We, Brits, speak in centimeters so…”
LOUIS: “Whatchu say, little boy?”
HARRY: “Nothing…” (afterthought, to himself again) “At least I’m tall enough to ride Big
Thunder.”
LOUIS: (taunting) “Fighting words, I hear.”
HARRY: “Big mouth.”
LOUIS: “Oi!”
ELEANOR: (rolling her eyes) “Louis, you’re being a pain.”
LOUIS: “I was just making this story more exciting. It’s a bit of a cliche.”
HARRY: (stung) “Oh? How so?”
LOUIS: “The prince doesn’t want to get married because he’s waiting for the right girl with the
brains and the looks and the courage and the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, add cliche crap here .”
(mocking) “He doesn’t want to do what everyone else did and settle. He wants a strong,
independent woman who can be his equal.”
HARRY: “Well." (pause) "It was not like that at all. I wasn’t going to say that… Besides, if you’re
so bored with this why don’t you go somewhere else? You don’t have to listen to it.”
LOUIS: “Alright, then." (standing up) "Eleanor, let’s go hookup in the entrance bathrooms.”
ELEANOR: “Don’t be so vile.”
LOUIS: “Oh, please. It’s not like you haven’t been up for it before.” (to Harry, mockingly)
“Unlike your prince, I actually get ass.”
HARRY: (deadpanned) “Awesome.”
LOUIS: “I don’t need to wait around to be swept off my feet like some desperate, little faux-
princess.”
HARRY: (more subdued) “Good for you.”
ELEANOR: “Louis, you’re being mean. I think you better go.”
LOUIS: “What, you’re not coming with me? You’d rather sit here and listen to this gay-ass
story?”
ELEANOR: “I think you better go, okay?”
LOUIS: “Fine. Whatever, sweetheart. Don’t call me when you wanna role-play Disney again. I’m
not your on-call escort. It’s a two way street.”
ELEANOR: (slighted) “You are such a dick at times .”
LOUIS: “Better to be a dick than a pussy, right, Harry?”
HARRY: “Look, El, I think I’m just going to head back to my shift. It’s almost time anyway.”
(stands up, avoids eye-contact) “Was done eating anyway. Lost my appetite.”
ELEANOR: “You’re working the Sorcerer's Hat today, yeah? I’ll come by.”
HARRY: (ashamed) “Alright, cool, nice talking to, uh, both…of you. I’ll be going now. Good
luck with...all of that thing, the Disney role-play stuff. I hope things get better.” (hurries away,
hands in pockets, head down) “See you around…”
ELEANOR: (sighs, turns towards Louis) “Why must you always be so mean to him?”
LOUIS: (starts walking away) “I’m not mean.”
ELEANOR: (follows) “Yes, you are. You’ve been a jerk since the first day he started working
here. It’s like you get joy from seeing him squirm. (Louis snorts) “You hate it here, we get it. All
of us do to some extent. This is not what anyone of us wanted coming out of acting school, but hey,
the boy seems genuinely happy with the job so let him be happy.”
LOUIS: “That’s the problem right there. He’s settling by being happy. If anything, I’m saving his
soul from the Disney. I’m a hero in this situation.”
ELEANOR: (dry) “Hero, right. That’s not your problem. Let him be. Is it a sin to want to make
children smile? Maybe you should learn a thing or two. Maybe then you wouldn’t get assigned
villain characters all the time, Hades.”
LOUIS: “At least I have blue hair, not blue balls.”
ELEANOR: “Vile. I don’t see why you feel the need to flaunt your libido so much.”
LOUIS: “I don’t see why you feel the need to flaunt your big words but I don’t say anything. I’m
done with this conversation. Bye. Go suck Harry off in a bathroom next to some fat kid with
diarrhea.”
ELEANOR: "Nice, Louis, real nice."
LOUIS: "We all know you just adore the kid."
ELEANOR: "I find him sweet. What's the matter? Are you jealous?"
LOUIS: “Of that clumsy, awkward hot mess that can barely hold a conversation? Yeah, real jelly.
Peanut butter jelly.”
ELEANOR: "Uh-huh."
LOUIS: (in disbelief) "Why would I be jealous?"
ELEANOR: “You’re jealous he gets to play Hercules. You’ve always wanted to be Hercules.”
LOUIS: “Please.” (pause) "Like I care." (longer pause, getting riled up) "I don't give a shit about
this shitty job or that shitty character or your shitty assumptions."
ELEANOR: "Okay then. I'm gonna go before you burst my balloon like you burst his all the
time."
LOUIS: "Bye now."
ELEANOR: "Don't scare a child on the way."
LOUIS: "Ha. Ha."
ELEANOR: "I'm serious. You look like someone has killed your cat. Cheer up. It's Disney! Have
some fun for once."
Chapter End Notes
I used to have chapter questions and notes but I lost those when my story was deleted.
If you can help out with screenshots, read me on twitter or my email:
mockingjaydray@gmail.com. Also feel free to share the link of this with everyone
looking for it, on Wattpad and the world.
I am most active on twitter, and will likely re-upload this in batches of 10 chapters.
Sorry if there are any mistakes, I work full time and have no time to read through it
again, at least not currently.
THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT THROUGH THE YEARS AND FUCK
WATTPAD.
FUCK WATTPAD = NO I DO NOT WANT YOU TO RE-UPLOAD MY WORK

ON WATTPAD, IT'S NOT DIFFICULT.
Oh
Chapter 2: Oh
[Sorcerer’s Hat, Disney World, 2:43pm, Autograph Signing]
ZAYN: “How was lunch?”
HARRY: “The usual, El and I just talked about things in general, you know, just the usual things
—Louis dropped by.”
ZAYN: “Oh. Louis was there then.”
HARRY: “Yeah. But it was okay, I guess.”
ZAYN: “You hated it.”
HARRY: “No, no. I just felt a little uncomfortable but it wasn’t bad. Unexpected, you know? I
didn’t expect him to be there. Just unexpected.”
ZAYN: “So you absolutely hated it.”
HARRY: (shrugs) “No, no.” (awkward pause, then excited) “Look at that little guy.“ (pointing at a
child with an Iron Man shirt, waving at him, smiling brightly) “I want one of those shirts now.” (to
the kid) “Hey, buddy, awesome shirt.” (boy giggles, hides behind his mother) “I’ll borrow it
sometime, eh?” (boy nodding as he walks away) “Enjoy the rides!”
ZAYN: “Why does he bother you so much?”
HARRY: “Huh? That kid?”
ZAYN: “Louis.”
HARRY: “He doesn’t.”
ZAYN: “Right.”
HARRY: “I don’t care.”
ZAYN: “Alright.”
HARRY: (worriedly) “Why, is it obvious? Do I make it obvious, that I’m bothered?”
ZAYN: (amused) “I thought you weren’t bothered.”
HARRY:“I’m not but does it look like I am?”
ZAYN: “A bit yes.”
HARRY: “I’m not bothered though. Why would you think I’m bothered?”
ZAYN: “You get really quiet around him.”

HARRY: (bites lip)“I’m quiet in general.”
ZAYN: “Lies.”
HARRY: “I am. I’m just awkward like that, in general, not just with Louis—“ (coughs) “Around
Louis, I mean—I don’t know why I had to specify that because it was pretty clear in the first place,
like what could I be doing with Louis—lots of things—that would never happen—why am I still
talking?”
ZAYN: “Why indeed…”
HARRY: (rambling) “I just don’t wanna talk about him because I don’t see a point. He doesn’t
like me and it’s okay. Whatever. He doesn’t have to like me. I don’t expect everyone to like me.
He can just do him and you know, I’ll just stay away from him if he wants to continue…not liking
me—”
ZAYN: “You’re doing it again.”
HARRY: “What? What am I doing?”
ZAYN: “That get-uncomfortable thing.”
HARRY: “Oh.” (pause) “Well…”
ZAYN: “And now you’re doing the other thing, the one where you completely freeze and can’t get
yourself to snap out of it.”
HARRY: (blushing) “Oh. Uh, I’m…sorry?”
ZAYN: (chuckles, shaking his head) “Just take it easy, man. He’s a jerk. There are so many of
those in the world. You can’t live life avoiding them.
HARRY: “I don’t avoid Louis. I just happen to be in places that he’s not. Unless I have to be there
with him. Which is unavoidable. Not that I was avoiding him in the first place. You get me?”
ZAYN: “I do get you but he doesn’t have to get you like this.”
HARRY: “He doesn’t get me like anything. He has nothing to do with anything, okay? I’m just
like this. This is who I am. I am—I am uh, this uh…I suck at being like…a person, you know?”
ZAYN: (amused) “You suck at being a person?”
HARRY: “Okay, I didn’t say it like that.”
ZAYN: “You did though.”
HARRY: “I ramble a lot. I don’t mean to do that.”
ZAYN: “It’s fine. I don’t mind. I’ve known you for years. If I minded I wouldn’t have given you a
superb job reference…You know I’m the reason they hired you, right?”
HARRY: “You never let me forget.” (sadder) “People mind… Other people…”
ZAYN: “Louis, you mean?”

HARRY: “No, I mean, I don’t know. Does he mind, when I ramble?”
ZAYN: “Louis minds when people breathe in his vicinity. He’s just a very unhappy boy.”
HARRY: “Oh.” (concerned) “Why is he unhappy?”
ZAYN: “Because he’s Louis Tomlinson. Unhappy was one of his ingredients, unhappy, sass and a
big, big ass.”
HARRY:(chuckles) “He does have a big ass. For such a little boy.”
ZAYN: “You would notice.”
HARRY:(blushed) “No!” (mumbled) “‘M just saying…” (coughs) “What makes him unhappy?”
ZAYN: “He just didn’t expect his life to be like this, I guess, at least that’s what he says. He didn’t
want to end up working fourteen hours a day, rain or sun, with screaming kids. Do you blame him?
We all get a little tired now and then. You will too when you hit that three year mark—You
haven’t been here a year yet. I don’t know what else. No one knows really. Louis is just sad, end of
story.”
HARRY: “Oh.”
ZAYN: “I know what you’re thinking but I forbid it. Just let it be. He’s unhappy. Nothing you can
do about it. You can’t save everyone.”
HARRY: “I wasn’t going to save everyone, or do anything. I can’t anyway because he like hates
me, for some reason, so he wouldn’t even want to talk to me. So I wasn’t going to do anything.”
ZAYN: “Good.”
HARRY: “What did you think I was going to do?”
ZAYN: “Nothing. I don’t wanna give you any ideas.”
HARRY: “Good, because that’s what I was going to do. Nothing.”
ZAYN: (shaking his head, smiling) “I don’t get you sometimes. I just…don’t get you.”
HARRY: “Why? What did I say now?”
ZAYN: “Nothing. You get strange at random times.”
HARRY: “Bad strange?”
ZAYN: “No, just strange in general.”
HARRY: “I’m sorry. I can be less strange.”
ZAYN: “This is not helping the case exactly.”
HARRY: “Am I being strange now?”
ZAYN: (laughing) “Yes.”

HARRY: “Sorry.” (pause) “I’ll just not speak for a bit…” (whispered, grinning) “Or is that
strange too?”
ZAYN: “It’s strange that you’re asking. This entire thing is strange.”
HARRY: “Oh.”
Only
Chapter 3: Only
[Astro Orbiter, Walt Disney World in Florida, 4:35pm, Candy Giving]
LOUIS: “All I’m saying is—“
NIALL: “Nothing.”
LOUIS: “Don’t interrupt. Everything I say is very important.”
NIALL: (shaking his head) “Right.”
LOUIS: (coughing) “All I’m saying is he needs to grow some balls and start saying the word balls
and be more—”
NIALL: “Who are we talking about again?”
LOUIS: “Harry.”
NIALL: “Oh, right…” (mumbled to himself) “Shoulda guessed.”
LOUIS: “What’s that supposed to mean?”
NIALL: “Nothing, Lou. Just, whenever you’re ranting, it’s usually about Harry.”
LOUIS: “That is simply unfalse.”
NIALL: “Unfalse?”
LOUIS: “I meant untrue. That is simply untrue. I was going for untrue and false and well…
You’re wrong. I rant about a lot of things, like children with yellow snot on their nose that might
give me Ebola, or the line at Starbucks every morning, or the fact that Eleanor didn’t appreciate
my blue pubes—“
NIALL: “Okay now! Too much information.”
LOUIS: (giddy) “Wanna—“
NIALL: (immediately) “Nope. Nope. Whatever verb you insert in there will still have the reply,
no.”
LOUIS: “Wanna…not see?”
NIALL: (rolling his eyes) “I’m sure it looks great.”
LOUIS: “A work of art!”
NIALL: “Grand.”
LOUIS: “Point is—“

NIALL: “You’re obsessed with Hercules. They really found present day Hades in the flesh with
you.”
LOUIS: (mock insulted) “I am not obsessed with Hercules.”
NIALL: “You’re obsessed with Harry Shyles, whatever his name is.”
LOUIS: “It’s Styles.” (dramatic, whiny) “It’s like you don’t even listen to me.”
NIALL: “I don’t. When you get into these long, verbose monologues, I tune out.”
LOUIS: “Rude. I’ll let you know I’m very interesting and funny.” (sassy) “And by the way, only
verbose people would use the word, verbose, so eat my verbose stick.”
NIALL: (mocking him) “Uh, rude. Eat your own stick.” (normal tone) “What does it matter what
he says or doesn’t say, anyway? He’s just an average employee, trying to make some cash and live
another day. I really don’t understand why he requires so much of your attention.”
LOUIS: “He doesn’t.”
NIALL: “Then why do you keep talking about him?”
LOUIS: “Because I talk about my day to my best friend. Plot twist, that’s you. I know, I didn’t see
that coming either, especially with the way you treat me and don’t listen to my very important
monologues—you know, I bet you’re not even listening right now so I might as well say anything.
Niall is a dumb bimbo that burned his chest with bleach—
NIALL: “Ouch.”
LOUIS: “I know that’s what Niall said too.”
NIALL: (grit teeth) “I told you that in secrecy.”
LOUIS: “Sorry.” (mock whispers) “Niall bleaches his chest curls because he’s such a fake
model…Shh….He told me in secrecy so only tell other people in secrecy too.”
NIALL: (heavy sigh) “Just go back to talking about Harry Smiles.”
LOUIS: “Styles, though he smiles a lot. And I don’t talk about him. I talk about my day and a lot
of my day involves him, unfortunately. I know, blame Jesus.”
NIALL: “Then don’t have your day involve him, by any means, you have legs.”
LOUIS: “Brilliant observation. Unlike others who slug their way places, I am a bipedal creature.”
NIALL: “You’re such a pretentious, little shit, you know? What I’m saying is walk away when
you see him.”
LOUIS: “We work together, Niall. Hades…Hercules…same movie, are you putting the pieces
together? We need to be seen together so that kids can take pictures and pull on my hair and make
him giggle and—why the hell is he always so happy? Don’t you ever wonder that?”
NIALL: “No, I don’t because I don’t care.”

LOUIS: “It’s like he’s on drugs.”
NIALL: “Louis, don’t be scared now, but some people…” (whispering dramatically) “Are happy.
Like really. In reality.” (makes the ‘mind-blown’ motion alongside a ‘whoosh’ sound)
LOUIS: “Must be drugs. He should share.”
NIALL: (rolling his eyes) “Yes, maybe if you share something with him, he’ll return the favor.”
LOUIS: “Good idea. I’ll con him.”
NIALL: “You do that.”
LOUIS: “And then I’ll be happy too—Isn’t this an amazing plan?”
NIALL: “Living the dream.”
LOUIS: “No more Disney Doom.”
NIALL: (dry) “Whoopee Daisy, Mario and Luigi. We are saved.”
LOUIS: “Be serious.”
NIALL: “No, I am serious. We are saved from your chronic bad mood. Seriously, man, invest in a
new attitude. It’d do you good.”
LOUIS: “You know what would do you good? My dick in your mouth.” (hoarse whisper) “And I
don’t bleach my down-there-hair.”
NIALL: “Nice, Lou, real nice.”
LOUIS: “People should stop saying that. You all don’t appreciate what I do. I’m under-
appreciated here. Everywhere.” (loud, melodramatic) “No one loves me….”
NIALL: “I’m crying beneath this mask, just letting you know. It might look like I’m indifferent to
your pain because Woody is smiling creepily but inside…” (touching his heart) “Where it
counts…” (mock crying voice, fake gulp) “I am weeping for you.”
LOUIS: “I’m going to smack you…with my snake. It will not be in your boot this time.”
NIALL: “Alright there.”
LOUIS: “It’ll be in your booty.”
NIALL: “Gross.”
Opportunity
Chapter 4: Opportunity
[Prince Charming Regal Carrousel, Walt Disney World in Florida, 12:13pm, The Linger &
Wave]
LOUIS: (walking, notices Harry looking at him, stops) “Did you need anything, munchkin?”
HARRY: (flustered, looks behind him then at Louis again) “Uh, who, me, do I need anything? I
—uh, I don’t need anything…”
LOUIS: “Okay.”
HARRY: “Did you need anything?”
LOUIS: “No.”
HARRY: “Okay.”
LOUIS: “So…what are you doing here?”
HARRY: “I work here. This is my shift. I’m just working here in this shift thing that I’ve been
assigned to since I work here.”
LOUIS: (dry) “Snaps for you.”
HARRY: (completely oblivious) “Yeah. Today, I’m here…” (shrugs) “Um, why are you here?”
LOUIS: “I wanted balls.”
HARRY: (chokes, coughing) “What?”
LOUIS: “Those dippin’ ball things that kids slurp on?” (acts out licking with his tongue) “Like
this.”
HARRY: (breath hitches) “Ah-uh…” (stuttering) “Um…”
LOUIS: “The candy…Small ball candy?”
HARRY: (wincing) “Um…Dippin Dots?”
LOUIS: “Yeah, that.”
HARRY: “Those are nice, yeah.”
LOUIS: “You wanna cup?”
HARRY: “I wanna cup what?”
LOUIS: (sarcastic) “You wanna cop a feel of my ass? The hell do you think? A cup of balls,
idiot.”
HARRY: “Oh…Of course…Cup of ass—I mean, balls—dots. Cup. Of dots.” (groans) “You’d get
me one?”
LOUIS: (amused, smiling widely) “Nah.”
HARRY: “Why ask then?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “Maybe I’d get you one, who knows?”
HARRY: (suspicious) “Okay…”
LOUIS: “Want one?”
HARRY: “Yeah.”
LOUIS: (smirking) “Say please.”
HARRY: “Please.”
LOUIS: “Say it again.”
HARRY: “Please.”
LOUIS: “Say fuck.”
HARRY: (frowning) “No.”
LOUIS: “Come on.”
HARRY: “No, I don’t swear.”
LOUIS: “You want dots or nah?”
HARRY: “I’m not gonna swear.”
LOUIS: “Pussy—Say pussy and I’ll get them for you.”
HARRY: “Forget it.”
LOUIS: “Pussy is not a swear word. Say I want Eleanor’s pussy.”
HARRY: “You’re being gross.”
LOUIS: “Her cat…duh, though I’m certain you’d want the other pussy.”
HARRY: “Stop.” (uncomfortable) “Go get your cup.”
LOUIS: “Thank you, master, for giving me permission to do so.”
HARRY: “I didn’t—“ (utterly lost) “Mean it like that. Why are you even talking to me?”
LOUIS: “Well, you were staring at me for like five years so I thought I’d come say hi.”
HARRY: “I wasn’t staring…just so you know. I wasn’t staring at you. I was staring in that general
direction where you happened to be standing, blocking my view actually—standing in front of the
view I wanted to see.”
LOUIS: “Don’t repeat everything you say nine times. I get it the first time.”
HARRY: “I’m not repeating. I’m not—“
LOUIS: “You just did it.”
HARRY: “No.”
LOUIS: “Yes.”
HARRY: “No.”
LOUIS: “You’re so weird.” (shakes his head, remembers) “Are you constantly on drugs.”
HARRY: “What?”
LOUIS: “You heard me.”
HARRY: (insulted) “I’d never do drugs.”
LOUIS: “Of course not. How could perfect little Hercules do drugs?”
HARRY: “Drugs are bad for you.”
LOUIS: “They are.” (nodding sarcastically) “Look at you, you’re a prime example of the side-
effects.” (screaming) “Don’t do drugs kids!”
HARRY: (frantic) “Don’t! What are you doing?! Don’t say stuff like that when there’s kids
around. You’re in costume! Don’t say stuff like that period in here.” (low) “They might fire you.”
LOUIS: “Right, Herc, can I call you Herc?”
HARRY: “Stop that.”
LOUIS: “Hey, I’m trying to stay in character here.”
HARRY: “I’m serious, Lou.”
LOUIS: “Woah, Lou? Jesus, take me out on a date first.”
HARRY: “A date?”
LOUIS: “I didn’t say you can call me Lou, Herc.”
HARRY: “I didn’t call you Lou.”
LOUIS: “Yes, you did. You definitely said Lou and now you’re blushing and fidgeting so badly
with your hair and I swear to god you’re the most bizarre human being I’ve ever met—” (bursts out
laughing) “What’s wrong with you?”
HARRY: (flushed red) “Nothing! I’m not doing any of those things.”
LOUIS: “You’re blushing.”
HARRY: “No.” (blushing deeper, uncomfortable to the point of speechlessness) “I’m just hot.”
LOUIS: “That you are.”
HARRY: (flushing bright red) “Stop!”
LOUIS: (confused) “Stop what?”
HARRY: (mumbled beyond recognition) “Flirting with me…”
LOUIS: “What?”
HARRY: “Teasing me.”
LOUIS: “Look at me.”
HARRY: “I am.”
LOUIS: (entertained) “You’re looking at the floor.”
HARRY: “No.” (looks up, looks down again, looks up, squints in effort of keeping eye contact)
“There.”
LOUIS: (grinning) “What’s wrong?”
HARRY: “Nothing.” (pleading) “Just leave me alone, please.”
LOUIS: (amused, smirking, circling him like a shark) “Why are you such a mess? What has you
all flustered and girly?”
HARRY: (grumbled) “Not girly.”
LOUIS: (prancing around him, taunting) “Pretty little girl, all blushed and coy. I think she
wants…my pretty, little toy!”
HARRY: (still blushing) “Louis, come on.”
LOUIS: “What happened to ‘Lou’, girly?” (pulling on his cape) “You don’t like me like that
anymore?”
HARRY: (yanking it away) “Stop it…”
LOUIS: “Does girly have a cwush on me?”
HARRY: (angry, exploding) “Just go get those fucking dots already, okay?”
LOUIS: (pleasantly shocked, stopping, awed, pause) “Fuck yeah. You more than deserve a cup
now, filthy boy.”
HARRY: (ashamed, exasperated) “Stop.”
LOUIS: “Say—“
HARRY: “Stop, please, come on, please.”
LOUIS: “Okay, I’ll go…if you call me Lou again.”
HARRY: (resigned) “Come on, man. Seriously.”
LOUIS: “Do it.”
HARRY: “Please…Lou, stop.”
LOUIS: (smiling victoriously) “I hope you like the cookies and cream ones.” (practically skips
away in joy) “See you soon, kiddo.”
HARRY: (to himself) “I don’t have a crush on you.”

Offering
Chapter 5: Offering
Scene 1
[Prince Charming Regal Carrousel, Walt Disney World in Florida, 12:35pm, More Linger &
Wave]
LOUIS: (returns with two cups of Dippin’ Dots, hands one to Harry) “Here you go.”
HARRY: (genuinely surprised) “You actually got me one…Thank you.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, yeah. Wanna do me a favor in return?”
HARRY: (suspicious) “I won’t swear if that’s what you…”
LOUIS: “What? No, forget that. A real favor.”
HARRY: “Like what?”
LOUIS: “I need a smoke.”
HARRY: “Okay?”
LOUIS: “I wanna smoke.”
HARRY: “You can’t here.”
LOUIS: “I know. I know. That’s the favor part.”
HARRY: “What do you want me to do about it?”
LOUIS: “Be on the lookout for any Simon-s patrolling the area.”
HARRY: (frowns) “No.”
LOUIS: (groans) “Pet! You are Simon’s pet.”
HARRY: (petulant, crossing his arms) “I’m not.”
LOUIS: “Prove it. C’mon. One smoke. It’s not a big deal.”
HARRY: “We can’t smoke inside the park. It’s against the rules. There’s children around and they
try to keep this space smoke-free so they don’t get cancers.”
LOUIS: “We?”
HARRY: (self-conscious) “What?”
LOUIS: “You smoke?”

HARRY: “What does it matter?” (avoiding the topic) “it won’t change the fact that you need to
exit first—“
LOUIS: “No, no. Wait.” (pause for emphasis) “You smoke?”
HARRY: “Yes, I do. Drop it now.”
LOUIS: “You more than smoke. You’re a smoker. Ha, did not see that coming for real. I guess
smoking is a side-effect of Disney.”
HARRY: “Smoking is a side-effect of weakness.”
LOUIS: “Wow, there, Nietzsche, don’t get too deep on us, minimum wage workers.”
HARRY: “I’m not too proud of being an addict so if we can stop talking about it, I’d really—”
LOUIS: (on his own tangent, giddy) “Poster boy for Disney smokes cigs like a chimney. Oh,
shame on you, Harry. Oh, the shame.”
HARRY: “Stop.”
LOUIS: “I can hear Walt Disney rolling in his grave right now.”
HARRY: “Dude, stop.”
LOUIS: “Dude, don’t call me dude.”
HARRY: (rolling his eyes, under his breath, quietly) “Don’t call me this. Don’t call me that. Jesus
Christ, so high-maintenance.”
LOUIS: “Are you swearing?”
HARRY: “No.”
LOUIS: “Did you just take the name of Jesus, our lord and savior, in vain?”
HARRY: “No. I just…I didn’t.”
LOUIS: “Harry is full of disappointments today.”
HARRY: “Don’t be mean.”
LOUIS: (shaking his head) “Let’s take a smoke break. I’m dying to smoke right now. I’m sure
you are too.”
HARRY: “I’m fine.”
LOUIS: “You’re fidgeting with your shirt. It’s wrinkled as hell. I finally get why you do that. You
constantly need a smoke. I do it with my hair, constantly pull on the ends when I crave one real bad
or bite my nails—look, no nails. It’s gross, yeah?”
HARRY: “I bite mine too when I’m nervous. But I don’t fidget.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, you do. You put your hands in your mouth, your hair, you tap them against
everything—look, you’re tapping them against the cup right now.”
HARRY: (stops moving his hands, flattens them around the cup) “I don’t constantly need a smoke
because I’m quitting.”
LOUIS: “When? In the next ten years?”
HARRY: “No, shut up. I’m quitting soon. I’d rather not have you here to tempt me really. I was
doing well today. Only had one coming over.”
LOUIS: “It’s like twelve. One in two hours is not doing well. You need one. Come. I’ll let you
bum one of mine.” (takes the pack out of his back pocket and waves it around) “Come, come,
Harry, you know you want one in your mouth.”
HARRY: (hesitating) “Outside?”
LOUIS: (whining) “No, that’s a pilgrimage away. Behind Space Mountain. Let’s smoke there.”
HARRY: “We can’t, Louis.”
LOUIS: “C’mon! Nobody will know or care for that matter. You think parents don’t sneak a
smoke inside?”
HARRY: “Parents don’t work for Disney. Parents are not in costume, roleplaying their children’s
favorite characters. If they find us, we’ll get fired. I need this job.”
LOUIS: “Fired? Over a cig? Please. I sneak three a day, every day.”
HARRY: “I’m not doing it.”
LOUIS: “Pussy.”
HARRY: (annoyed) “Don’t call me that.”
LOUIS: “That’s what you are, a pussy and you should accept the label if you wanna keep
pussying out of stuff.”
HARRY: “I don’t wanna get fired. That doesn’t make me a…coward.”
LOUIS: “We won’t get freaking fired! You want a smoke or not? I’m losing my patience here.”
HARRY: (hurt) “I’m sorry…” (sighing) “I do wanna smoke. Come outside with me.”
LOUIS: (dry) “Here we go…”
HARRY: “Please. So we can keep it clean here…for the kids. Let’s just smoke outside. It’s not
that far. I’ll carry you—“
LOUIS: “We might get fired for not being on our shifts.”
HARRY: “They can do that?”
LOUIS: “Oh, yeah. There’s cameras at the entrance. Simon will call you to his office and scream
at you. He’s very grouchy. You wouldn’t want that, right?”
HARRY: “I didn’t know that wasn’t allowed…“
LOUIS: “It isn’t, so you wanna smoke with me or not?”
HARRY: “Outside?”
LOUIS: “Not outside! Here. Space Mountain. Why do you keep repeating the same shit?”
HARRY: (torn) “We can’t…”
LOUIS: (rolling his eyes, put off) “Fine, I’m off. Peace.” (starts walking away)
HARRY: “But—I just…“ (gulps, shakily) “Louis?” (nervous) “I’ll keep a lookout for you…if you
wish, if you want.”
LOUIS: (smirking) “Come.”
Scene 2
[Space Mountain, Walt Disney World in Florida, 1:12pm, Sneak Smoking]
LOUIS: (smoking a cigarette at a lazy pace) “Don’t look so worried. We’re not gonna get
captured by the Nazis.”
HARRY: (pacing around worriedly) “That’s…not even an okay thing to say.”
LOUIS: “What? Too soon?”
HARRY: “Yes.”
LOUIS: (chuckles) “Alright, whatever you say.” (extends the cigarette towards him) “Wanna bum
mine?”
HARRY: (looks back, bites his lip guiltily) “No. I can’t.”
LOUIS: “Come on. You’re frantic. You need a hit.”
HARRY: “I don’t. I’m fine.”
LOUIS: “Stop denying things that are obvious. It’s annoying.”
HARRY: “I’m not.”
LOUIS: “But you just di—“ (shakes his head) “Forget it. Come.”
HARRY: “I don’t think I should—“
LOUIS: (angrily) “Styles, just fucking come here.”
HARRY: (caught off guard, opens his mouth to speak but closes it again, walking towards Louis)
“Alright. Don’t get mad.”
LOUIS: (annoyed) “I’m not mad.” (when Harry is close enough, softly) “Here.” (feeds him the
cigarette, not letting go as Harry puts his mouth on it and inhales, eyes closing in joy) “It won’t
make you a bad person to just do this once in a while. You need it. The kids can wait.”
HARRY: (after a few puffs, looking much calmer) “Thanks.”
LOUIS: (puts it back in his own mouth, mumbling) “Welcome. Next time don’t make me shove it
in your mouth.”
HARRY: (blushing, coughing) “Ah—right—“ (coughing) “You make a lot of—of….innuendos,

without noticing.”
LOUIS: (smiling again) “Want more?”
HARRY: (flushed, chocked up) “Wh-what? Sorry, what?”
LOUIS: (amused, grinning) “Wanna smoke the rest of it?” (handing him the cig) “And I do notice.
You give me no credit, smiles. I’m offended, really.”
HARRY: “Smiles?” (accepting it silently while Louis pulls out a new one from the pack) “You’re
trouble.”
LOUIS: “No shit, Sherlock.”

Odd
Chapter 6: Odd
[Louis’ Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 8:43pm, Sexy Time]
ELEANOR: (laying on the bed, wearing just her bra, no underwear) “Ugh, can you not smoke
when I’m still here?”
LOUIS: (in a pair of loose, long boxers, cross-legged in the middle of the mattress) “Why?”
(placing a cigarette between his lips, unlit, searching through his bag for a lighter) “If you’re
gonna nag already, I suggest you see yourself out. I haven’t even thrown out the condom and
you’re whining.”
ELEANOR: (nose wrinkled in disgust) “Why is it still laying there again?”
LOUIS: (shaking the lighter) “I have yet to test it.”
ELEANOR: “In case it broke?”
LOUIS: “Yeah, gotta test ‘em all so then if anything’s wrong I can shove Plan B down your throat
and not get greeted by horrid, horrid news a couple of months later.”
ELEANOR: “I have an IUD—“
LOUIS: “Whatever that means.”
ELEANOR: “I have a thing up my vajayjay that makes it impossible for me to get pregnant. With
that and the condom, chances are below .01. You’re being paranoid. This is one of your little
complexes.”
LOUIS: “Not wanting to be a parent at twenty-five is a complex now?”
ELEANOR: “You have a fear of it. You’re fixated. If you were a girl, you’d probably take
pregnancy tests every month just in case.”
LOUIS: (mumbled) “Wish my mother had done more of that.”
ELEANOR: “What?”
LOUIS: “Nothing. Am I asking you to do anything? No. So just let me do my thing, okay? I don’t
care what’s up your crotch. I only care that this condom didn’t break.”
ELEANOR: (rolls her eyes) “Don’t smoke.”
LOUIS: “Don’t be a nuisance.”
ELEANOR: (picks up the cigarette) “I don’t like the taste of it…” (tries to give him a kiss)
LOUIS: (pulls away) “I don’t like the taste of you.” (puts the cigarette back in his mouth,
mumbled) “I don’t get why you keep insisting on kissing me. It’s quite annoying.”
ELEANOR: (sighs, slumps back on the bed with a grunt) “Because it’s awkward otherwise.
Normal people have sex and kiss.”
LOUIS: (snorts) “Normal people don’t sleep with you…”
ELEANOR: (rolling her eyes) “I’m being serious, Louis. It’s weird not to. It makes everything so
awkward, having to look at each other all the time and avoid it…”
LOUIS: “I don’t like it. What do you want me to say?”
ELEANOR: “Why?”
LOUIS: “Why what? We’re not dating, Eleanor. I think you often forget.”
ELEANOR: “You never let me so don’t worry, I don’t.”
LOUIS: “Then stop getting attached.”
ELEANOR: “I’m not attached. I’m curious. Why don’t you like kissing?”
LOUIS: “Because I only kiss people I’ll date.”
ELEANOR: “But you hate dating. You don’t date.”
LOUIS: “Exactly.”
ELEANOR: “So you’ll never kiss anyone because you’ll never date anyone…”
LOUIS: “Now, you’re getting it.” (walks to the balcony) “It’s not that hard. Screwing’s okay
because it’s platonic. We both cum, end of story. Kissing is just…unnecessary and…“ (shrugs)
“Not that pleasant.” (scoffs) “And wet.”
ELEANOR: “And the boxers?” (puts on her shirt and underwear, follows him, leaning on the
glass door) “There’s no explanation to that too? Because that’s also pretty weird.”
LOUIS: “Dear lord, if you’re this bothered by my peculiar habits, then stop sleeping with me
already. God.” (exhales smoke) “I don’t enjoy being interrogated every damned time.”
ELEANOR: “I’m just making small talk.”
LOUIS: “I don’t care for small talk.”
ELEANOR: “I can see that.”
LOUIS: (reserved) “Why haven’t you left yet?”
ELEANOR: (leans on the balcony next to him) “You’re just a mystery to us all, Louis. We want to
unravel you. We wanna know about the boy that has sex in boxers.”
LOUIS: “I don’t see my boxers affecting your ability to get dicked so, lay off.”
ELEANOR: “Do you have a fear of man-scaping?”
LOUIS: “Yes, that’s it.”

ELEANOR: “From what I’ve felt you look baby soft.”
LOUIS: “Great.”
ELEANOR: “So what’s with the extra layer?”
LOUIS: “My balls get cold. They like to be tucked in.”
ELEANOR: (rolls her eyes) “Seriously.”
LOUIS: “Seriously. I’m done talking about this. What I do is none of your business. As long as
you don’t get any ideas about what we’re actually doing, I’ll live a very happy life.”
ELEANOR: “I won’t. I’m not sure I’d wanna date you anyway.”
LOUIS: “Awesome. Same page.”
ELEANOR: “You’d be a handful.”
LOUIS: (subtle wince, looking ahead at the view) “Go date Harry Styles.”
ELEANOR: (chuckles) “Oh, he’s even worse.”
LOUIS: (piqued) “How so?”
ELEANOR: “He has lots of baggage, they say, from his last relationship. His ex of four years
dumped him and sent him back all his clothes and all that dramatic stuff. Talk about sad.”
LOUIS: (blasé) “Tragic. Why’d they break up?”
ELEANOR: (shrugs) “Don’t know really. It’s not something he goes around talking about. He
doesn’t like it brought up.”
LOUIS: “So I shouldn’t straight out ask him tomorrow?”
ELEANOR: “No!” (stern) “Louis, don’t. I didn’t tell you so you could torture him some more.
He’s probably heartbroken so please, have some compassion.”
LOUIS: “Was just joking, jeez. Who do you think I am, Satan?”
ELEANOR: “Technically, you are.”
LOUIS: “Would be interesting to know though…”
ELEANOR: “Drop it. Who cares? It doesn’t affect your life.”
LOUIS: “Curiosity killed the cat.”
ELEANOR: “I’m sure he has his reasons, like you and your boxers.” (walks back in the room)
“Don’t go around opening Pandora boxes.”
LOUIS: (in thought) “Four years, huh…”
ELEANOR: (putting on her jeans) “A life-time, basically. He must have been a kid when they
started.”
LOUIS: “He is a kid now.”
ELEANOR: “He’s twenty-two, Louis. You’re only three years older. Don’t get all nostalgic.”
LOUIS: (throwing away the cigarette bud, spitting out the balcony) “Being young is one thing I
am not nostalgic about, that’s for sure.”
ELEANOR: (picking up her bag) “I’ll see you at work. Try to get some food and clean this place
up. It’s starting to stink.”
LOUIS: “Piss off.”
ELEANOR: “I’m serious.” (wrapping her scarf around her neck) “You’d be happier if you didn’t
live like a pig.”
LOUIS: (sarcastic) “Thank god I have you to provide therapy. Go now. The Xbox is calling my
name.”
ELEANOR: (shakes her head, opens the door) “Get some food.” (closes the door behind her)
Oblivious
Chapter 7: Oblivious
[Changing Rooms, Walt Disney World in Florida, 7:02am, Morning Dress-up]
HARRY: (walking in, sees Louis, smiles to himself, cheerily) “Hi there. Good morning.”
LOUIS: (turns, notices it’s Harry, grunts) “Ugh. The pre-dawn cheer squad.”
HARRY: “Or not…I guess. How are you?”
LOUIS: “Are we making small talk because it’s seven am and I wanna take a dump before I get in
costume but I don’t mind the company…in fact, I poop better when someone talks to me or sings—
any interest in the position?”
HARRY: “Uh, no, I’ll pass. The bathroom is there if you were looking…”
LOUIS: “Really? Having worked here for centuries I never knew.”
HARRY: (surprised) “You have never used the bathroom? How do you hold it in so well? I try but
some days are so long…”
LOUIS: (blinks twice) “The same way your brain holds in common sense so your mouth doesn’t
have access to it.”
HARRY: “Huh?”
LOUIS: “Prove my point further, why don’t you?”
HARRY: “Prove what point?”
LOUIS: “Look, do you need anything or am I humoring you just to make myself miserable?
Because if that’s the goal, mission accomplished.”
HARRY: “I do…need…something, if you wanted to help…or had some free time.”
LOUIS: “Shoot.”
HARRY: “Uh, well…I was wondering if you could uh….”
LOUIS: “T-t-t-today, junior. I’ll miss my December birthday at this rate. Not to mention shit my
pants.”
HARRY: “I’m getting there…give me time…” (shyer) “It takes me some time…” (frustrated with
himself) “I just thought that since you’re hairy—“
LOUIS: “Excuse me?”
HARRY: (embarrassed) “Long hair, since you have long hair, not hairy like body, but hairy hair,
long. Ugh.” (palms his face, shoulders sagging, cringing) “Feel free to leave…”
LOUIS: “Are you always this perceptive and loquacious every morning?”
HARRY: (mortified, blushing) “Please.” (pauses, takes a deep breath, tries again) “I just need this
string…” (shows him a hair band) “To be like here…” (places it on top of his bangs) “But like
stay…” (tries to put some curls in the loop uselessly, they fall out, tries again, doesn’t realize he
has to twist it to make it tighter, struggling) “Like this…Like girls make this stay here…” (lets go
again, hair-band falls on the floor, makes a frustrated noise) “Why doesn’t it stick?”`
LOUIS: (blankly) “Are you retarded?”
HARRY: “Don’t use ‘retard’ as an insult.”
LOUIS: “No, but seriously, are you a moron?”
HARRY: (tired) “Are you gonna help or not?”
LOUIS: (amused) “You really don’t know how to use a hair-band? You can’t figure this one out?”
HARRY: (grumbles) “Never mind. I’ll ask Eleanor.”
LOUIS: (urgent) “No!” (catches himself) “No, I mean, just give it here.” (extends his hand, Harry
places the hair tie on his palm) “This is a hair-band by the way, not a ‘string’, you utter imbecile.”
(can’t help smiling) “Fucking adorable…and dumb, so dumb.”
HARRY: (subdued) “I’m sorry.”
LOUIS: (rolling his eyes, standing in front of him, close) “Don’t do that…” (getting on his tip-toes
to reach Harry’s curls) “Don’t say sorry so often…” (puts the hair-band in between his lips,
mumbled) “Ruins the word.” (grabs a chunk of Harry’s bangs, combs his fingers through it gently
to put them in a small bundle, Harry practically purrs at the contact) “You’re supposed to get the
bun ready first.”
HARRY: (softly, smiling) “It feels nice…”
LOUIS: (grabs the hair-tie from his lips to fix it on the chunk) “Don’t cream your pants now.”
HARRY: (dreamily) “Little.”
LOUIS: “What?”
HARRY: (without thinking twice) “You’re so little…” (instinctually placing his hands on Louis’
waist as Louis is still doing the tie) “So small.” (blushing, murmured) “It’s cute.”
LOUIS: (stunned) “Well, compared to how lanky you are.”
HARRY: (looking down, dejected) “You think I’m lanky?” (pulls his hands away so they can
fidget against his shirt self-consciously)
LOUIS: “Yes.” (pulls the little pony to get it tighter) “And that’s how it’s done.” (lowers back on
his feet, not stepping away, cocking his head sideways to analyze his work) “No need to thank me
but please do because I live on praise.”
HARRY: (whispered) “Thank you.”

LOUIS: “Yup.” (turns to walk back to his bag, to himself, chuckling) “String…dear god.”
HARRY: (grabs his shirt, pulls him back, cautiously) “Uh…is lanky good?”
LOUIS: (makes a face) “Sure.”
HARRY: (nods lightly, lets go, bites his lip) “Okay. Cool.” (shrugs awkwardly) “Was just…
wondering…what—uh—you thought, and stuff.”
LOUIS: (looks at him strangely) “About being lanky?”
HARRY: “No, like me…”
LOUIS: “I think you’re strange.”
HARRY: (defeated, walking away slowly to go change again) “Yeah, I know…” (takes a deep
breath, exhales in frustration)
Or
Chapter 8: Or
[Changing Rooms, Walt Disney World in Florida, 6:32pm, Post-work]
LOUIS: (dramatic, walking in the room) “Another hellish day over. The god has given me another
chance to change my mind, wake up tomorrow and make a difference in the world—escape
Mickey, the monster mouse. The real question is…will…I…take it? Or will I be back here
tomorrow?”
NIALL: (rolling his eyes, right behind him) “You will be back tomorrow. Spoiler alert. Don’t you
get tired of doing this every day?” (opens his locker) “Hey Harry. What’s up?”
HARRY: (sitting on the bench, chuckles, quiet) “Hey, Niall. How was your day?” (timid) “Hey,
Louis.”
LOUIS: “Over! That’s how my day is, over.” (sing-song, jumping on the bench, mock dancing
around) “I am free, oh so free, forever free. Just free, free, free, free…” (jumps off the bench,
walks to the locker, to Harry) “Hey, kid.”
NIALL: (to Harry) “Don’t mind him. He gets like this at the thought of—“
LOUIS: (interjecting, loud) “Alcohol and freedom!”
HARRY: (laughs lightly) “It’s good to know you’re not always in a bad mood…”
NIALL: “See, Louis, everyone notices.”
LOUIS: (winks at Harry) “Just—” (shoves the costume in the locker, it tumbles out, lowers down
to pick it up again, Harry stretches over to get a better view of his behind, bites his lip, Niall
coughs him awake, Harry blushes red, Louis is back standing) “Just most of the time. Whenever
kids are in my radius.” (notes how blushes Harry is) “You okay there? You’re looking kind of sick.
Keep that Ebola away from me.”
HARRY: (squeaky) “Fine. I’m fine.”
NIALL: (rolls his eyes, already dressed) “I need to pick up dinner. I’ll meet you at the station,
Lou?”
LOUIS: “You’re not coming out with us? But you’re Irish. There’s alcohol. What did I do wrong?”
(mock pouting) “You don’t love me anymore?”
NIALL: “I have to wake up early tomorrow for a dentist’s appointment. Tempting though, very
much so. Tell Sandy I say hi. Don’t have him drink so much. He’s becoming you—it’s disgusting.”
LOUIS: “You’re disgusting.” (points out his tongue) “You’ll pay for this. Karma’ll get you when
the dentist pulls your tongue out.”
NIALL: “Karma’ll get me for what? Not baby-sitting you while you stumble all over the place?”
LOUIS: “I don’t stumble all over the place!” (to Harry) “He lies.”
NIALL: (to Harry) “I don’t. Louis gets white girl wasted. Every. Damned. Time.”
LOUIS: (offended) “I do not.”
NIALL: “Prove it tonight.” (to himself) “Come to think of it, if you die karma will probably get
me…Oh well, life’s about taking chances.”
LOUIS: “Leave. We’re no longer friends.”
NIALL: (shakes his head) “Don’t take too long. It’s raining and I’m wearing my Converse.”
LOUIS: “What was that, Niall? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of a little bitch whining.”
NIALL: “Ugh. Be there.” (walks out, jogging in the rain, Louis starts putting on regular clothes,
silent for a bit)
HARRY: “You should probably not have him wait too much… He could get a cold.”
LOUIS: “Oh, you’re still here…I forgot.” (putting on a new shirt, misses Harry’s wince) “I don’t
see you in a hurry.”
HARRY: (looking down, forced smile) “I’m working late. Just…” (blows his hair out of his face)
“Helping out with some stuff.”
LOUIS: (knowing) “Simon has you again.”
HARRY: “He asked and I thought why not? I could do with some extra cash.”
LOUIS: (straightening his hair in the mirror) “Big spendings ahead then?”
HARRY: “Maybe. I don’t know. I could go to New York…if my uh, friend is not busy…”
(shrugs) “And you, you have any plans? In general? Like not tonight since you obviously have
plans tonight with your friends but tomorrow night or the night after that?”
LOUIS: (pulling on a pair of sweats, Harry trying hard to avoid looking at his boxers) “What’s in
New York?”
HARRY: “Hmm?”
LOUIS: “Why New York?”
HARRY: (uncomfortable) “New York’s nice.”
LOUIS: “Is your friend nice?”
HARRY: “He’s alright.” (fidgets, hesitates, opens his mouth, closes it when he catches Louis’
raised eyebrows) “You should probably go…Niall’ll get wet.”
LOUIS: “Let him get a little wet. It’ll teach him not to order me around.” (fixing his bag) “You
should really stop letting Simon use you like a puppet. This is what, the eighth time this month
you’re working over time? You’re an actor, not some office slave.”
HARRY: (defensive, eyes on the floor, guarded) “It’s not like that. I’m saving some money for my
mom. He just asked. He’s not forcing me to be an office slave. Just asked if I was free, which I am.
I have nothing better to do anyway so why not work more?”
LOUIS: “Yuck, sad.”
HARRY: (cowers slightly, hunching over, low) “Whatever. You should—“
LOUIS: “If you say ‘leave’ again, I swear, I’ll sleep here tonight to prove a point. I’ll leave when I
want to, aight? Stop worrying about it.”
HARRY: (sad) “Alright. I’m sorry.”
LOUIS: (annoyed) “What did I say about sorry?”
HARRY: (resigned) “Sorry.”
LOUIS: (groans) “Useless talking to you.” (starts walking towards the door) “Enjoy getting
worked to death.”
HARRY: (hurt, awkward, way too quiet) “If you wanted to do something…” (door closes, Harry
flinches) “Sometime…” (looks up to see Louis has already left, sighs, defeated) “Right, Harry,
perfect.” (self-demeaning) “You’re doing great at this making friends thing…” (palms his face with
his T-shirt) “Ugh…”
Out
Chapter 9: Out
[Jellyrolls Bar, Disney Broadwalk, 1:45am, Night Out]
LOUIS: (drunk, slurring) “Does Harry drink?”
SANDY: “Yes, Louis, again, for the fifth time, he drinks occasionally when he’s out. Why does
this matter so much?”
LOUIS: “Oh… Why isn’t he drinking now?”
SANDY: “Because it’s Tuesday, and I really have no idea why anyone would wanna drink on a
Tuesday night, let alone get piss drunk.”
LOUIS: “Harry’s piss drunk?”
SANDY: “You’re piss drunk. You need to go home.”
LOUIS: “Next time, he should come with us.”
SANDY: “Yes, Louis, next time.”
LOUIS: “Only if he drinks though…I saw him…before coming here. I saw him and he seemed
upset—maybe I upset him, I don’t know, or Simon.” (pushes the bangs out of his face) “I wish he
weren’t upset. It’s so obvious on his face—the upset—it’s wrong. It looks wrong. He looks wrong
upset. Simon upsets him by making him work too much. Simon’s a bitch. He’s just a newbie…
Simon’s ruining him. He is being ruined.” (delusional, believes it) “I need to save him. It has to
happen.”
SANDY: “Louis, what the hell are you on about?”
LOUIS: “But he’s so dumb at times—like ugh…I wanna choke him.”
SANDY: “Please, stop talking about Harry for one second.”
LOUIS: “Please stop not talking about Harry.”
SANDY: “Niall was right not to come. He can’t handle you like this.”
LOUIS: “Niall feels sorry for me.”
SANDY: (torn) “He cares.”
LOUIS: “He thinks I get pitiable when I drink…I know that well. I can smell it on him.”
SANDY: “He cares about you a lot… He wants your best.”
LOUIS: (dry) “You got any more fortune cookies left over. I’m getting kind of hungry.”
SANDY: (forced chuckle) “Right. Who cares about that stuff… You and I, dream team, man.”
LOUIS: “Dream team…” (leaning on the table, hiccuping) “Harry’s sad.”
SANDY: (sighing) “Let’s get you home.”
LOUIS: “I made him sad.” (trailing his finger on the beer puddle) “He just wanted a drink, you
know, someone to—to…I don’t know…what am I even saying?”
SANDY: “You’re tired. You’ve had a long day.” (standing up, yanking Louis’ arm) “Get up.
We’re going home. You just need some sleep. You’ll be fine tomorrow…You’re always fine.”
LOUIS: “Next time…” (stumbles on the table, balances himself) “I’ll invite him…” (giggles
randomly) “I’ll invite him to drunk and then he’ll like me.”
SANDY: (supporting him towards the door) “You do that.”
LOUIS: “I didn’t finish that—hey…” (reaching towards the table uselessly) “Beer, no, beer…”
(being dragged away, whispered) “Bye beer.” (waving, childlike) “Bye….bye…I’ll be back.”
SANDY: “You sure will.”
LOUIS: “We should go out this weekend.”
SANDY: “Louis, we have yet to return from this going out and you’re planning your next drink?”
LOUIS: “My agenda fills up fast.”
SANDY: “You shouldn’t drink this often.” (walking towards the bus stop) “Niall worries.”
LOUIS: “Does Harry worry?”
SANDY: “Yes.”
LOUIS: (pleasantly surprised) “Yes?”
SANDY: “Sure. Drink less.”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “I only drink sometimes…” (walks towards the street) “When I’m feeling
bored…”
SANDY: (motioning) “Don’t cross the street.”
LOUIS: (ignores him, sits on the sidewalk) “Things get boring around here…” (leans back on his
hands) “Pointless. Boring and pointless.”
SANDY: (sitting next to him) “You’re being too hard on yourself. You graduated three years ago,
what do you want to be doing, curing cancer? Give it time, man.” (lighting a cigarette, handing
Louis one) “Not everything is going to come all at once. One day you work for Disney, the next
you do something else. It’s life.”
LOUIS: (accepting it) “There’s an in-between to curing cancer and being useless…like being
kinda useful…changing someone’s life. One person.” (putting the cigarette in his mouth, raising a
finger) “One, that’s all I ask for. One life.” (lights it, mumbled) “It sounds pretentious, yeah.”
(breathes out the smoke, fingers the cigarette) “Like I have a hero-complex—wanna feel
important…but doesn’t everyone? Doesn’t everyone wanna be special, a little more than the
average Joe?” (taps the cigarette against the pavement) “You know what hurts the most, Sandy,
being a little above-average, not happy with average, not able to jump higher.” (another gulp)
“Fucking agony.” (looks longingly at the sky) “I just need a purpose. Then maybe I wouldn’t feel
the need to get blind drunk.”
SANDY: (pats him in the back encouragingly, clearly out of depth) “Give it time. It’ll happen.”
Omit
Chapter 10: Omit
[Rainforest Cafe, Walt Disney World in Florida, 3:25pm, Lunchtime]
HARRY: “Hungover?”
LOUIS: (mouth full of food) “Hmm?”
HARRY: “The shades? You’re hungover?”
LOUIS: “I’m okay. Just tired. Didn’t get much sleep last night.”
HARRY: “Oh, was it like, uh…” (blushing) “A one night stand kind of thing…?”
LOUIS: (shaking his head) “Nah. Sandy would have cock-blocked too hard. You know him,
Sandy?”
HARRY: “Barely.” (politely) “He seems nice.”
LOUIS: (testing him) “He’s a fan of you.”
HARRY: (snorts, looking down, self-conscious) “That’s not true. I barely know him.”
LOUIS: (pushing harder) “He likes you.”
HARRY: “That’s not true.”
LOUIS: “Why do you say that?”
HARRY: (shrugs) “Because…”
LOUIS: (stops eating) “You think people don’t like you?”
HARRY: “I didn’t say he doesn’t like me. He’s ambivalent. He doesn’t know me.”
LOUIS: “You can’t like someone if you don’t know them?”
HARRY: (nods) “Yeah…Like what would you like, there’d be nothing to…” (struggling) “How
would you know if you could…uh, even connect or like…” (thinking, pause) “Never mind.”
LOUIS: “No, finish it. Finish the thought.”
HARRY: “There was no thought. I was just rambling. Nothing to say… It’s okay.”
LOUIS: (frowning) “You had a thought. It was going somewhere. You just got lost on the way,
happens, recover, finish it. Don’t get so intimidated by your own mouth.”
HARRY: (scoffs quietly) “That’s easy for you to say.”
LOUIS: “Why’s that?”

HARRY: (smiles in self-deprecation) “You’re good at talking. You never stutter, never run out of
words. You always know what you’re saying…It’s different. People want to listen to you. They
care enough…”
LOUIS: “People want to listen to you too—“
HARRY: (shaking his head feverishly) “Nah.”
LOUIS: “I want to listen to you. Am I not a person?”
HARRY: (dry) “Right.”
LOUIS: “Are you calling me a liar?”
HARRY: (riled up) “You don’t wanna listen to me. You hate listening to me. You think
everything that comes out of my mouth is stupid or lame. You’re always interrupting, always
making me feel small and dumb.”
LOUIS: (smug) “You didn’t stutter once there.”
HARRY: (caught off guard at how well Louis took his explosion, loses his train of thought)
“Uh…”
LOUIS: “It doesn’t matter if people wanna listen or not. You make people listen.”
HARRY: “I can’t do that.”
LOUIS: “Yes, you can.”
HARRY: “I can’t…physically, I can’t. I mean, look, just…just…look, I can’t. I talk so slow. I take
ages to form a thought—ages to say it…no one cares for this long. And I can’t blame them. Why
would people wanna waste so much time just to hear the end of a sentence that was probably
unimportant anyway? So useless…” (gulping, emotional) “I don’t even know…I…don’t…” (self-
conscious, frustrated) “I don’t…”
LOUIS: “You don’t what? Finish it.”
HARRY: (surprised) “What?”
LOUIS: “What’s the end? Finish the sentence. I’m right there with you, until the end, like you
wanted me to be. What’s the end? Finish it.”
HARRY: “I can’t.”
LOUIS: “Building up the suspense, I see.”
HARRY: (pleading) “Louis, I can’t.”
LOUIS: “Take your time.”
HARRY: “I don’t know how.”
LOUIS: “Think about it. You don’t know what?”

HARRY: “I don’t know how. That’s it. That’s the end. I don’t know how to finish sentences
because I’ve never had to. I’ve never been there at the end—never had anyone be there as an
audience. I don’t know how to be different, different than what I am usually, the same as everyone
else, so I can talk like a normal person and have friends like a normal person and say stuff on time
and make people care…I don’t know how.”
LOUIS: (smiles at him) “Yet you just did it.”
HARRY: “I didn’t do anything. I rambled—“
LOUIS: “You expressed an opinion. You shared a thought.”
HARRY: “That didn’t make sense! I vomited words. I didn’t say anything.”
LOUIS: “It made sense to me.”
HARRY: “No, it didn’t.”
LOUIS: “Yes. It did. And I’ll say it back so you can hear yourself. I’ll say it with my oh-so-
magical skills. You said you wish your friends weren’t bastards that shut you out without giving
you the time of day. All you want is a chance and nobody seems willing though you do so much for
them. You said you’re smart and thoughtful and intelligent beyond these damned idiots that work
these damned jobs and you have lots of thoughts and it hurts you, keeping them inside. It confuses
you. You have trouble picking them apart.”
HARRY: (whispered, awed) “Yes…”
LOUIS: “But if someone just sat there and listened and gave you three seconds, three stupid
seconds a day, you wouldn’t have to save a million brilliant thoughts for one smoke-break. You
wouldn’t have to unload your life in one go and the words wouldn’t be so jumbled up together.
You might speak really slow but the words push each other out of your mouth faster than you can
filter them because they all just wanna be in the open for once.”
HARRY: (shocked) “I’d never be able to say that.”
LOUIS: “Yet you did. In much less words too. More concise.”
HARRY: (smiles, smitten, fond) “Three seconds is a long time for some people.”
LOUIS: “Not for me. You can have my three seconds any day. They’re yours.”
HARRY: (confused) “Why?”
LOUIS: “Because you’re smart. You might even be smarter than me and that’s something.”
HARRY: “Smarter than I.” (sheepish) “Sorry.”
LOUIS: (smirking) “Good boy.”

Untimely
Chapter 11: Untimely
[Changing Rooms, Walt Disney World in Florida, 7:14pm, Post-work]
ELEANOR: “Have you seen Harry?”
LOUIS: “Nope.”
ELEANOR: “He was working Fantasy Land today, right?”
LOUIS: “I don’t have a clue, Eleanor. I don’t stalk him, contrary to no one’s belief.”
ELEANOR: “Zayn said you ate with him today.”
LOUIS: “Nope.”
ELEANOR: “Are you lying to me?”
LOUIS: “Nope.”
ELEANOR: “You have that lying face on.”
LOUIS: (shaking his head) “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
ELEANOR: “So you saw him today. You see him every day. You don’t let a day pass by without
checking on him. Do you know where he is?”
LOUIS: “Nope.”
ELEANOR: “Did anything happen?”
LOUIS: “Nope.”
ELEANOR: “Louis, please.”
LOUIS: “What?”
ELEANOR: “Stop repeating the same thing.”
LOUIS: “Then stop asking me questions that require the same answer.”
ELEANOR: You’re in a terrible mood.”
LOUIS: “Well, it is me we are talking about.”
ELEANOR: “Worse than usual. Harry’s sick?”
LOUIS: “What?”
ELEANOR: “He’s not feeling well? Is that it?”

LOUIS: “What does that have to do with anything?”
ELEANOR: “There’s usually a high correlation between him not feeling well and you being in a
bad, bad mood.”
LOUIS: “That is not true. Also, do not consider a career in science. You would suck at making
intelligent deductions about causation.”
ELEANOR: “I said correlation, not causation.”
LOUIS: “And I said, shut the hell off and let me leave the kingdom of Satan already.”
ELEANOR: “Where are you off to?”
LOUIS: “I’m gonna go back to the village to get myself a cheese pizza and then get
drunk….possibly, if anyone’s up for it.”
ELEANOR: “What’s wrong then?”
LOUIS: “You being in the way of that is what’s wrong.”
ELEANOR: “Are you taking the bus?”
LOUIS: “No, I’m walking the entire distance, Eleanor. Any more dumb questions?”
ELEANOR: “I thought perhaps Harry’d give you a ride and then I could find him.”
LOUIS: “What?”
ELEANOR: “A ride? He has a car? He drives some of us over at times.”
LOUIS: “He has a car?”
ELEANOR: “Okay, you clearly have no idea where he is. I’m gonna go look for him.”
LOUIS: “Why do you need him?”
ELEANOR: “What’s it to you?”
LOUIS: “Is he giving you a ride back?”
ELEANOR: “If he hasn’t left yet.”
LOUIS: “I want a ride back.”
ELEANOR: “Well, you’ll have to ask him, Louis. I don’t have a car.”
LOUIS: “He’ll give me a ride back.” (following her out of the locker rooms, throwing his bag over
the shoulder) “Faster anyway. I wanna see this car.”
ELEANOR: (uneasy) “Maybe tomorrow so I break it to him first.”
LOUIS: “Why’d you have to break it to him?”

ELEANOR: “Oh because, you know…”
LOUIS: “I don’t know. Enlighten me.”
ELEANOR: “You guys don’t get along much, that’s all.”
LOUIS: “That’s not true.”
ELEANOR: “Please, Louis, you’re not exactly on speaking terms.”
LOUIS: (irritated) “Yes, we are so shut your trap. You don’t know what you’re talking about. ”
ELEANOR: “Why are you getting so defensive over this?”
LOUIS: “Because you’re talking shit right now.”
ELEANOR: “I’m not. I just made the observation that you two seem to not like each other.”
LOUIS: “He doesn’t like me?”
ELEANOR: “You don’t like him.”
LOUIS: “And can I ask, what I might have done to him for him not to like me?”
ELEANOR: “You’re a bit mean.”
LOUIS: (sulking) “I’m not though.”
ELEANOR: (snorts) “Are you high?”
LOUIS: “Are you stupid?”
ELEANOR: “Are you done?”
LOUIS: “Are you?”
ELEANOR: “Child.”
LOUIS: “Witch.”
ELEANOR: “You’re unbearable.”
LOUIS: “Well, join the club of people who don’t like me because apparently there is one.”
ELEANOR: (rolling her eyes) “Go get your pizza.”
LOUIS: “Lead the way.”

Unruly
Chapter 12: Unruly
[Parking Lot, Walt Disney World in Florida, 7:27pm, Getting Home]
HARRY: “Hey…guys.” (stands up straighter) “Hi, Louis.”
LOUIS: “Yo.”
HARRY: “I didn’t…” (adjusts the head-scarf on his curls nervously) “Know you were still here.”
ELEANOR: “You didn’t text me. I thought you left without me.”
HARRY: “Sorry. I thought you had left. I was late today because I was doing some stuff for…”
(looks at Louis nervously) “For…random…things.”
LOUIS: “Got that, Eleanor? For random things. Translated to normal human speak as sorting
employer benefits for Simon Satan Cowell.”
HARRY: (quipped) “Parking passes.”
LOUIS: “Wow, promoted, I see.”
ELEANOR: “Louis tagged along. I hope you don’t mind.”
LOUIS: (plastic smile) “Yeah, Harry, I hope you don’t mind.”
HARRY: “I don’t.”
LOUIS: (walks towards him, Harry gulps but Louis walks around him, lightly nudging his
shoulder, to touch the car) “You didn’t tell me you had a car.”
HARRY: “I…have a car.”
ELEANOR: “Louis was doing the inventory so he absolutely had to know.”
LOUIS: (ignoring her) “How much did you get it for?”
HARRY: “Six thousand. It works fairly well. Engine is good and such, with those wheel-things
working too…and breaks, yeah those are nice.”
LOUIS: (sassy) “Nice car talk. Manliness proven.”
HARRY: “I love cars.”
LOUIS: “Cool. Do I get to sit in the front?”
ELEANOR: (snorts) “As if.”
HARRY: “Uh…well, I don’t know how…”

ELEANOR: “Harry, please. Tell him how this works and who your real co-pilot is.”
HARRY: “…It’s usually Eleanor.”
LOUIS: “I’m a better co-pilot. I’ll make witty jokes, put on good music…feed you my cig, if you
want, if I can smoke inside.”
HARRY: (clearly interested, almost giddy) “I smoke inside all the time so…”
ELEANOR: “You’re bribing him with cancer?”
HARRY: (under his breath) “And sexual innuendos…”
LOUIS: “Oh, please, Eleanor, don’t be so morbid." (to Harry, smiling) "So yeah? I get the front.”
HARRY: “Sure."
ELEANOR: “You traitor!”
HARRY: (grinning)“Sorry, El.”
ELEANOR: “What was that, Harry? I was a little busy pulling this knife out off my back.”
LOUIS: “You need help with that?”
HARRY: “Sorry! But cigs…I am a weak man.” (gets in the car, starts it up)
ELEANOR: (fake angry) “I’m worth less than a cigarette!” (sits in the back, sulks)
LOUIS: “You are though, honey.” (sits down, props a foot on the seat, prepares a cigarette)
HARRY: “Lower the window, yeah?”
LOUIS: (does as told) “Got any good music?”
HARRY: “The radio?”
LOUIS: “Lame.”
ELEANOR: (sarcastic) “Sorry we don’t have all that you need, your highness. We’ll work harder
next time to meet your standards. Can I interest you in a massage in the mean time? Or maybe
grapes?”
LOUIS: “Grapes would be lovely.”
ELEANOR: “I’ll take out the seed and chew them for you as well.”
HARRY: “Ew.”
LOUIS: “Bitches in the back seat should keep their mouth shut.”
HARRY: “Don’t talk to her like that. What’s wrong with you?”
LOUIS: “C’mon, take a joke for god’s sake.”
HARRY: “No. That’s disrespectful. Don’t put down women, not around me, not ever actually.
That’s not funny to me. That’s not funny to her.”
LOUIS: “Kay. I’ll save it for when she’s sucking my dick.”
HARRY: (offended) “Why would you say something like that? That’s so…wrong. You’re being a
jerk…just horrible.” (at a loss for words, frustrated) “I’m insulted for her.”
ELEANOR: (comforting) “It’s okay, Harry. It’s just his sense of humor. Louis is vulgar like that.”
HARRY: (shaking his head, still upset) “It’s not okay for him to treat you like that.”
ELEANOR: “He’s joking. He really is, right Louis?” (stern) “You are joking?” (glaring at Louis,
motioning for him to say something) “You don’t mean to be offensive and rude?”
LOUIS: “No. I’m being serious. What does this idiot think?” (to himself, annoyed) “God, I hate
people who feel the need to fight useless battles. Social justice warriors chasing windmills.”
HARRY: “So, what? I’m delusional for believing that misogyny is wrong now?”
ELEANOR: “Guys.”
LOUIS: “You’re delusional if you think a joke means I’m oppressing Eleanor?”
HARRY: “You’re being mean to her!”
LOUIS: “You’re being a bitch yourself so see I don’t discriminate.” (points to the back) “Female
bitches.” (points to Harry) “Male bitches. Done. Equality has been served.”
HARRY: (openly hurt, speechless, struggling not to swear) “…Jerk.”
ELEANOR: “It’s a misunderstanding. Harry doesn’t know you that well, Louis, and he’s just
being a polite, caring, nice—“
LOUIS: “Yeah, yeah.” (dismissing her, to Harry, softer) “You need a smoke?” (extending his hand
with the cigarette)
HARRY: (snappy) “No.”
LOUIS: (slighted at the rejection) “Suit yourself.”
HARRY: (jaw set, eyes narrowed, staring ahead at the road) “Where do you wanna be dropped
off?”
LOUIS: “Me?”
HARRY: “Yeah. You’re coming to the hotel, right, El?”
ELEANOR: “Yeah.”
LOUIS: “What, you guys fucking?”

ELEANOR: (exasperated) “Louis, please. We’ve all had a long day.”
LOUIS: “So yes?”
ELEANOR: (sighing) “Ignore him, Harry. Just this once.”
HARRY: (visibly angry, tone cold) “Where do you need to be dropped off so we can be done with
this?”
LOUIS: (biting his lip, somewhat regretful) “The hotel’s fine.” (looks outside the window, silent,
frowning at himself in the reflection) “Whatever’s easier.” (cuddles his leg closer to his torso)
HARRY: “Can you pass me my bag, El?” (extends his hand behind the seat, fishes around the bag
when Eleanor holds it out for him) “Help me out a bit?” (Eleanor hands him the pack of cigarettes)
“Thank you.” (dumps it on the centre console before pulling one out) “You can put the bag back.”
LOUIS: (eyeing him subtly, trying to break the awkwardness) “They raised the smoking age in
New York…”
ELEANOR: “They did, huh? People will be angry.”
HARRY: “Good. Less kids smoking.” (looks away from the road to find for a lighter, Louis jumps
in action, leaning over and lighting it with his own) “Thanks.”
LOUIS: “Don’t worry ‘bout it.” (pulling back) “Whoever wants to smoke will smoke anyway. A
rule ain’t gonna change that.”
ELEANOR: “You’ve switched brands?”
HARRY: “Yeah. These are lighter. Want one?”
ELEANOR: “Nah. Don’t wanna pick it up.”
HARRY: “Don’t. It’s a stupid habit. I regret picking it up.”
ELEANOR: “Why did you?”
HARRY: “Everyone around me smoked. It’s tough to resist. They all wanna go out for a smoke
break, you’re just standing there, looking dumb. It was gonna happen eventually. Doesn’t mean
I’m any less upset about it. Dumb, expensive habit.”
LOUIS: (shyly, the quietest he’s been all trip) “Can I taste it?”
HARRY: “Sure.” (hands it over) “Don’t finish it though. You already smoke too much.”
LOUIS: “Thanks.” (inhales a few times, gives it back) “It is lighter. How many do you average a
day?”
HARRY: (shrugs) “I don’t know. Depends on the day, who I run into, what I have to get done,
how much time I have on my hands. You?”
LOUIS: “Eight, nine, on good days. I smoke when I’m stressed.”
HARRY: (nods, motions wildly to himself, cigarette between his fingers) “Tell me about it. It’s
impossible to resist.” (gives him a brief look, followed by a one-sided smile) “I’ve upped around
you.”
LOUIS: “I stress you out? Shocking.” (chuckles, smiling automatically, more relieved) “What’s
the worst you’ve done?”
HARRY: “You don’t wanna know.”
LOUIS: (almost embarrassed) “I smoked twenty-two the day my grandma died.”
HARRY: (looks at him, softening) “Thirty.” (hesitates) “When my ex left me. I smoked eight back
to back. That’s my record. I just sat on the floor and chain-smoked into oblivion. It was horrid.”
LOUIS: (not missing a beat) “How’d that happen?”
ELEANOR: (under her breath) “Louis.”
HARRY: “Oh, you know, just like that…” (tapping his fingers restlessly against the wheel) “As
things happen…”
LOUIS: “Just like that, huh? Like she thew in the towel, up and left, packed her shit an’ all?”
HARRY: (gulping with difficulty, biting his lip) “Pretty much.”
LOUIS: “You loved her?”
HARRY: (awkward, uncomfortable) “How about some music, eh?”
ELEANOR: “Louis, drop it, or so help me…”
LOUIS: (grabs Harry’s hand when it’s next to the radio, Harry turns towards him confused, Louis
tries to hold back his smirk) “Bitches are replaceable.”
ELEANOR: (horrified) “Louis!” (slumps back on the seat) “Ugh!”
HARRY: (sighs) “Louis…” (can’t help the smile from forming) “I could smack you.”
LOUIS: (shrugs, leans back, grinning) “Smack me…”
ELEANOR: “You could try this thing called compassion? I heard it works well with humans.”
LOUIS: “Sorry, Eleanor, but you have been quite literally replaced.”
Unlikely
Chapter 13: Unlikely
[Niall’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 11:47pm, Bro-Time]
LOUIS: (sprawled on Niall’s bed on his back, throwing popcorn up and trying to catch them with
his mouth, failing a lot, pop corn landing on the bed, Niall picks them up and eats them) “While
I’m here, swimming in beer, butter and betrayal, my arch nemesis is boning my hook-up. I don’t
know how to feel about that.” (another throw, another miss) “Tell me how to feel, Niall? What is
the correct emotion?”
NIALL: (on his stomach beside Louis, chewing on pop corn, watching the soccer game) “Who’s
the arch nemesis and who’s the hook-up?”
LOUIS: “Your guess is as good as mine.” (laughing) “It’s annoying that I’m thinking of them.”
(puts his hands behind his head, closes his eyes) “Probably gonna have insomnia.”
NIALL: “Why are you thinking about them?”
LOUIS: “What else should I do?”
NIALL: “Watch soccer? You love soccer. And now you’re missing your boys, too busy sulking
about whether Harry Styles is in bed alone or with a friend.”
LOUIS: “At least you got his last name right this time…” (turns to his side, sighs) “Do you think
I’m a misogynist?”
NIALL: “What?”
LOUIS: “Do you think I’m against women or whatever?”
NIALL: “Where did this come from?”
LOUIS: “Some people seem to believe it and I was just curious as to what you thought since
you’ve known me before all these fools, back when I was less…bitter, I suppose.”
NIALL: “Well.”
LOUIS: “Anything that starts like that makes me believe you’re about to sugar-coat a yes.”
NIALL: “I’m not. You’re not a misogynist. You’re don’t objectify women, well, no purposely, I
don’t think at least.”
LOUIS: “Wow, remind me not to call you if I need a lawyer to plead my case.”
NIALL: “You just don’t like women…much…or no, that came out bad as well. You don’t get
along with women, girls… You don’t have many girl friends, like female friends. You don’t have
many fiends period, come to think of it.”
LOUIS: (dry) “This is only getting better.”

NIALL: “You’re very selective is what I’m saying. You like few people and even fewer earn your
trust enough to stick around.”
LOUIS: “Is that a bad thing?”
NIALL: “No, it’s a thing. Everyone has things.”
LOUIS: “You’re starting to sound like Harry now.”
NIALL: “Isn’t that a good thing?”
LOUIS: (frightened, defensive) “Why would sounding like a bumbling, scared idiot be a good
thing?”
NIALL: (frowns) “You don’t mean that.”
LOUIS: “You’re rambling—“
NIALL: “You don’t mean to call him that. You would never call him that to his face—at least I
hope not…” (worried) “You’d hurt him.”
LOUIS: “Of course not. Shit, none of you guys give me any credit. What do you all think, I’m out
to get him or something?”
NIALL: (nod that disintegrates into a head shake at Louis’ glare) “You…poke at him…a little…
You mean to tickle him, I believe you. Just…sometimes, people have scars on their tummies.
You’d never know.”
LOUIS: “I’d know.”
NIALL: (sad) “Yes, you would I guess.”
LOUIS: (serious) “I hurt him?”
NIALL: “No, no, no…no…” (trails off) “I’m making assumptions randomly, stupidly…”
LOUIS: (calculated) “Well, if he ever says anything to you…about me, you should tell me. So I
can…know to account for it.”
NIALL: “I will but I’m not close to him. Zayn’s the one you should really ask.”
LOUIS: “Zayn and I don’t get along that well.”
NIALL: “I thought you liked him?”
LOUIS: “I do but I have a feeling that is not as reciprocated.”
NIALL: “What makes you say that?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “He’s short-tempered.”
NIALL: “Are you the pot or the cauldron?”
LOUIS: “Kettle. It’s the kettle and I’m neither. I try to stay calm.”
NIALL: “Key word there is try. You don’t succeed most of the time.”
LOUIS: “Thank you, Niall, for the compliments that keep coming this evening. I’ll need some
help scraping my self-esteem off your carpet if you’re not too busy dragging me across the floor
further.”
NIALL: (shoves him lightly) “Yeah, right, you narcissistic punk.”
LOUIS: “Zayn finds me tasteless.”
NIALL: (mumbled) “Can’t say I blame him.”
LOUIS: (jumping to a sitting position, appalled) “You think I’m tasteless?”
NIALL: (in a tough spot) “You’re not not tasteless.”
LOUIS: (touches his temples) “Three negatives in that sentence. My poor brain.”
NIALL: “Sorry, english major.”
LOUIS: “Literature.”
NIALL: “Zayn is just protective of Harry—extremely protective—and you are sometimes a threat
to that…accidentally, of course.”
LOUIS: “Why aren’t you protective of me?”
NIALL: (sheepish) “Because you don’t need it?”
LOUIS: “And Harry does?” (thinks about it) “He does…”
NIALL: (nods) “See? Zayn’s probably the only friend Harry has right now.”
LOUIS: “What evidence is that conclusion based of if you don’t mind me asking?”
NIALL: “Zayn’s word. He quite literally said, Harry has had two best friends his entire life and
one he’s not exactly in talking terms with.”
LOUIS: “His ex?”
NIALL: “Who told you about that?”
LOUIS: “God’s messenger.”
NIALL: “Don’t bring it up with Harry.”
LOUIS: “Too late.”
NIALL: “You asked him?!”
LOUIS: “Yeah. What, is that against the Fight Club’s rules?”
NIALL: (drops his head on the bed) “Let’s just say it’s not gonna make him like you more.”
LOUIS: (sharp) Everyone seems awfully keen on convincing me he does not like me, which I find
very amusing. It’s okay if he does, you know? I’m not Lucifer. I only play Hades as a character. I
don’t internalize him.”
NIALL: (makes a incoherent noise) “What am I supposed to say? I don’t get to decide who he
likes.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, so stop worrying so much over it. All of you. If you guys don’t like me, say it.
You don’t have to bring it up in this roundabout way.”
NIALL: “I’ve been your friend for how many years now?”
LOUIS: (annoyed) “I’m just sick of hearing his thoughts come out of a mouth that’s not his. I’m
sick of people putting words in said mouth. Don’t speak for him because really, he won’t speak up
to correct you and it’s frustrating to see him struggle to live up to a character you’ve all built off of
him.”
NIALL: “We’re not trying to do any of that. He’s quiet so sometimes we guess and make some
reasonable assumptions. We’re only trying to help.”
LOUIS: “Wanna really help him? Ask him again when he doesn’t reply the first time. He’ll reply
the second time, I guarantee.”
Unique
Chapter 14: Unique
ELEANOR: (already dressed, fixing her hair when Louis comes in) “Someone looks like shit.”
LOUIS: (grumpy) “Thanks, Eleanor, for pointing that out.” (drops his bag on the bench loudly)
ELEANOR: “You’re welcome. Ready for another day? The big parade is today and guess who
got Minnie…this girl.” (points at herself, cheerful) “Oh, yeah.”
LOUIS: “You’re mighty chirpy today…”
ELEANOR: (elated) “Did you miss the part where I got Minnie? Me, Minnie. This is huge!”
LOUIS: “That’s not all of it though.” (bitter) “He kept you up all night, huh? Probably went down
a couple of times…all that fun stuff.”
ELEANOR: (rolls her eyes, dry) “Yes, of course. That’s it right there.”
LOUIS: “I thought so. Is he better than me?”
ELEANOR: “Better than I.”
LOUIS: (flustered he missed that) “Shut up.” (irrationally angry) “Can he make you scream?
Does he take off his boxers for you and kiss you on the mouth like you want to?”
ELEANOR: (shakes her head) “Say what you wish, you’re not ruining my day, not today, no, sir.
Today, I am Minnie.”
LOUIS: “Are you guys dating now? What happened to his lots of baggage? Willing to carry the
load, are ya? Wow, he must have been really good in the sack.”
ELEANOR: (in a sing-a-song voice) “Nope, not ruining my day.”
LOUIS: (furious) “Answer my question. I wanna know if I have to look for fresh ass.”
ELEANOR: “I’d recommend that. With the way you’re acting right now, I’m kinda turned off. I
don’t like my men demanding and jealous. Thanks.”
LOUIS: (fuming) “Jealous…of you? Listen to your words.”
ELEANOR: “I will if you start doing the same.”
LOUIS: “So you're dating? You and Harry? You’re dating now? Like really dating? A night and
all that is set…”
ELEANOR: “What is it to you even if we were? As if I’d sleep with you again after all you’ve
said. Please I have some self-respect.”
LOUIS: “That’s not what I thought, what with you blowing me in a bathroom and sleeping with
me ten minutes after you met me.”
ELEANOR: “Will you drop that?”
LOUIS: “Like you dropped on your knees?”
ELEANOR: “Must you always be so goddamn rude? Harry’s right to not give you the benefit of
the doubt.”
LOUIS: (stung) “Did he say anything, your new boyfriend?”
ELEANOR: “He said that you were a cock.”
LOUIS: “He’d never say that. He doesn’t swear.”
ELEANOR: “I paraphrased it.”
LOUIS: “Don’t. Tell me what he really said. In his words.”
ELEANOR: “Why do you care?”
LOUIS: “I don’t. I’m just curious to know just in case.”
ELEANOR: “That is the definition of caring.”
LOUIS: “I don’t care! He can say whatever he wants about me. He has the right to not like me. I
haven’t taken that away from him.”
ELEANOR: “Cool then. He’ll be doing that.”
LOUIS: “He’s a dumb idiot anyway.”
ELEANOR: (shakes her head) “Alright, whatever you say.”
LOUIS: “Enjoy riding him until your downstairs area is as loose as your personality.” (slams the
locker closed)
ELEANOR: “I will do just that.”
LOUIS: “He’s just using you since he knows you’re so easy.”
ELEANOR: “Yup. That sounds like Harry alright, using women.”
LOUIS: (frustrated) “You know he’s probably a closet fag, right?”
ELEANOR: (finally angry) “You would know, you scumbag. What is wrong with you? You work
for Disney, goddammit. You’re supposed to be a good role model for kids. You’re supposed to be
a decent human being. Stop being such a pain all the time then maybe you’d have more friends that
could put up with your insufferable personality. I’d rather be loose then wound up so tight I’d have
a mental breakdown if someone kissed my cheek.”
LOUIS: (speechless, shocked) “I don’t wanna work for Disney. I didn’t—“

ELEANOR: “Then quit already! Jesus. Quit so the rest of us can work in peace and enjoy maybe a
small shred of our lives. Quit and get another job. You’re not chained to the floor.” (walks out)
LOUIS: (tormented) “Fuck you!” (sits on the bench near the lockers, shirtless, clearly hurt by the
conversation, doesn’t know how to deal with it, fidgets with the shirt in his hands before palming
his face for a few seconds, not crying but visibly upset, shaking)
HARRY: (walks in, headphones in, humming to “I Will Go the Distance” ) “Good morning!” (
dumps his backpack on the nearest bench)
LOUIS: (immediately flinches awake, moving back to the locker, pretending to rummage through
stuff, sniffling, no tears, clipped) “Good morning.”
HARRY: (concerned, hesitant) “Is…everything alright?”
LOUIS: (swallowing) “Dandy.”
HARRY: “You seem…”
LOUIS: (interjects) “Are you dating Eleanor?”
HARRY: (annoyed) “This again.”
LOUIS: “Are you?” (walks to stand next to him as Harry changes from his shirt, arms crossed)
“Yes or no question. Won’t take that long. Indulge me.”
HARRY: “No.”
LOUIS: “No, you won’t or no, you’re not.”
HARRY: “No, I’m not.”
LOUIS: “Good.”
HARRY: “I won’t take your girl. Don’t worry.”
LOUIS: “I’m not worried about that. She’s a slut. You shouldn’t sleep with her.”
HARRY: “Don’t call her that.”
LOUIS: “She is.”
HARRY: “Louis, please.”
LOUIS: “Don’t sleep with her.”
HARRY: “I won’t, okay? Relax. I don’t touch dicks at the work place.”
LOUIS: (flushing, shocked) “What did you just say?”
HARRY: “Huh?” (upon realizing how Louis took it) “Oh, that, uh, I mean, it’s an expression we
used back in school. It means sleeping with someone that someone else has slept with so that the
metaphor is your uh, wieners touched the same places and by transitive property and such…”
(wincing) “That’s what—I didn’t come up with it. It exists…It’s common as an expression…I
swear. Ask Zayn.”
LOUIS: “I get it.”
HARRY: “Okay, good because I’d not want you to think…you know…I don’t want you to
misunderstand.”
LOUIS: “Don’t be stupid. What did you think I thought?”
HARRY: (shrugs, fidgets with his bangs) “I didn’t think anything. Was just embarrassed.”
LOUIS: (smirking, looking at his chest) “I like your tats. Didn’t know you had so many.” (walking
back to his locker and putting a shirt on) “Closet bad boy.”
HARRY: (very quiet) “Well, the closet part…”
LOUIS: “Speak up.”
HARRY: (coughs, self-conscious) “I said, I like yours too.” (blushing) “I’ve always liked them.”
LOUIS: “Oh, which one’s your favorite?”
HARRY: “Everything…I mean every…one…of…the…tattoos. I like the entire thing, your body
—with the tattoos, where the tattoos are on your body…” (completely flustered) “You’re cool—
They’re cool. Very nice, the tats, I mean.”
LOUIS: (amused) “Thanks, I guess?” (smiling) “I’m thinking of getting a new one. Wanna come
with?”
HARRY: (surprised) “Really? You want me to come with you?” (visibly happy) “Yeah! I’ll come.
I’d love to. As long as I can get one too. I was thinking of doing my v-lines.”
LOUIS: “You’re lucky to have those…”
HARRY: (beaming) “My v-lines?”
LOUIS: “And your dimples.”
HARRY: (giddy) “Thanks!”
LOUIS: “I’ll let you know when I’ll go to get inked.” (heading out) “See you around, hero-boy.”
HARRY: (screaming behind him, smile biggest it has been) “Maybe we can smoke later?”
LOUIS: “Sure.”
Unnecessary
Chapter 15: Unnecessary
[Simon’s Office, Walt Disney World in Florida, 11:47am, Monthly Check-up]
SIMON: “Any problems with the hotel?”
LOUIS: “No.”
SIMON: “Food?”
LOUIS: “No.”
SIMON: “Are you getting along with the others?”
LOUIS: “Most assuredly.”
SIMON: (tapping his pen against the table) “Are you…feeling well?”
LOUIS: “Perfect.”
SIMON: “Are you sure?”
LOUIS: “Simon—“
SIMON: “Mr. Cowell.”
LOUIS: (blinks bored) “Simon…do you have to ask this every single month I come here? Nothing
has changed.”
SIMON: “Yes, I have to. To make sure you’re still with us…” (taps pen agains temple) “Up
here.”
LOUIS: “Can’t we skip the formalities? I have been doing this more than thirty-six times now. I
will let you know if the pasta is getting old and I broke the bed getting laid and all other life-
altering problems.”
SIMON: (sarcastic) “I’ll look forward to that.”
LOUIS: “Are we done?”
SIMON: “Not yet.”
LOUIS: “What? What else? The busses are fine and the weekends are fine. The costumes still fit.
The parents haven’t gotten too annoying. The music only repeats nine times a day; my threshold is
ten. What did I miss?”
SIMON: “Has anything happened?”
LOUIS: “Nothing to report.”

SIMON: “Have you been feeling…worse lately?”
LOUIS: “Worse than working for you worse? Is that possible?”
SIMON: “Louis, I’m being serious for a second.”
LOUIS: “I’m always serious in this office, sir Simon.”
SIMON: (sighs) “You just seem more irritated than usual and the others have been worried.”
LOUIS: “Who’s the others?”
SIMON: “The other cast members.”
LOUIS: “I thought we established last decade that they didn’t quite like me. Why are we
excavating these issues? Have I run out of problems that we have to resort to already solved ones?”
SIMON: “Those weren’t exactly solved…”
LOUIS: “They were buried though. Let them die.”
SIMON: “I’m just bringing it up because as you know, our counselors are always—“
LOUIS: “Around, free of charge thanks to the generosity of Mickey Mouse, I know. I am not new
though I just adopted this hairstyle so you might not recognize me. Do you like it?”
SIMON: (dismissive) “Very nice.”
LOUIS: “I’ll grow a beard. Is that against the rules?”
SIMON: “Perhaps you should consider talking with someone—“
LOUIS: “Yes…hmm…considering. Considered. I’ll be fine.”
SIMON: “It could help.”
LOUIS: “You know what else could help? A raise.”
SIMON: “You need more money?”
LOUIS: “I wouldn’t mind more money.”
SIMON: (rolls his eyes) “You don’t pay for transportation, housing or food, what could you need
more money for? You save all your paychecks. What you get is pocket money to you.”
LOUIS: “And more pocket money would be bad because…?”
SIMON: “No raise. You can get a free spa treatment though…if you see a counselor.”
LOUIS: “Bribing. Have you no shame?”
SIMON: “Positive reinforcement.”
LOUIS: “You think I’m crazy?”

SIMON: “No, I think you’re going through a tough time.”
LOUIS: (mock worry) “Why, what happened to me? Oh, I didn’t know! Poor me.”
SIMON: “Louis.”
LOUIS: “Did I die? Did I suddenly lose it?”
SIMON: “This is why.”
LOUIS: “You know I’m pretending to be crazy, right? I’m not really in need of a know-it-all to tell
me this. I’m a good actor.”
SIMON: “That’s what I’m worried about.”
LOUIS: “Last time I checked I didn’t make an effort to hide my discontent.”
SIMON: “But the extent of it…”
LOUIS: “Why would I spare anyone?”
SIMON: “It’ll make you feel better. You never know what could come of it. ”
LOUIS: “I already have someone to do that. Her name is Mary Jane.”
SIMON: “I hope that’s a joke.”
LOUIS: “If you laugh it is…”
SIMON: “I hope you’re not caught smoking inside the park.”
LOUIS: “Certainly not.”
SIMON: “I’d be disappointed.”
LOUIS: “I’d never disappoint you, papa bear.”
SIMON: “If you wanted to not—“
LOUIS: “No! I will not be going to a counselor. Move on. I’ll help you build the bridge. Just
please.”
SIMON: “I just want you happy.”
LOUIS: “My icy heart melts hearing that.”
SIMON: (groans) “Hopeless. I don’t know what he sees in you.”
LOUIS: “He as in the lord? He is a fan of my sense of sin.”
SIMON: “Harry. He adores you. He says you’re his favorite part of the job. He was in here a
while ago.” (straightening some papers) “Much more pleasant to talk to, certainly. I don’t have to
pull teeth to get through his check-up. He’s probably the reason why I don’t think of firing you
more often.”
LOUIS: (sarcastic) “I’ll send him flowers.”
SIMON: “You should. He’d pee his pants in excitement.”
LOUIS: “Marvelous. I’ll put an order in right now. I’m thinking Mimosas…or is that a drink? If
so, I’d like one of those to get through this meeting.”
SIMON: “Go.” (waves him off) “It makes me more concerned to have these meetings with you
than to not. Next time I’ll just pretend you’re a model employee.”
LOUIS: “Better yet…pretend I don’t exist.” (closes the door behind him)
Unintentional
Chapter 16: Unintentional
[Peter Pan’s Flight, Walt Disney World in Florida, 1:47pm, Candy Giving]
LOUIS: “At some point, I think he might actually fire me. That’s the hilarious part.”
LUKE: “Simon?”
LOUIS: “Yes, unless someone fires him and then I’m really screwed. Gotta start kissing ass. Not
one of my talents. Perhaps you should give me some tips.”
LUKE: “What are you suggesting? That I, a minor, licks ass?”
LOUIS: “You’re eighteen officially and no longer able to play that card.” (afterthought) “Plus,
you do lick ass.”
LUKE: “Is that what you did with Simon? Some lapping up? That why he’s wrapped around your
finger?”
LOUIS: (makes a face) “Clearly not if he’s planning on firing me.”
LUKE: “He won’t. He loves you… For some reason.”
LOUIS: (sarcastic) “I don’t even get why he worries about my mental health. It’s not like I get
bombarded by insults every hour of the day…oh, wait. I do. That is the life I lead. Whoever I talk
to has something to say about my this—”
LUKE: “Derisive personality.”
LOUIS: “—or that.”
LUKE: “Squeaky voice.”
LOUIS: “Squeaky calling my voice squeaky.”
LUKE: (pouting) “Why am I the mouse and Ashton the kitten? I wanna be the kitten.”
LOUIS: “I wanna be loved but obviously not all our dreams come true. Mickey lied.”
LUKE: (chuckles) “I didn’t say I don’t love you. I do…for some reason. That’s the weird part.
People do but they don’t know why because you’re so unlovable.”
LOUIS: (sarcastic) “Thank you.”
LUKE: “And yet there is something that attracts people to you…like some magnetic masochistic
drive to be the special one that maybe gets to see your gears and cogs.”
LOUIS: “I have one question though… Why did you not become a philosopher? I mean all these
thoughts you have, they could benefit humanity. You simply must share them with the world. You
must.”
LUKE: “If you put as much effort in being a decent human being as you do in being a non-decent
one—“
LOUIS: “Alright, Aristotle. Take it easy on us. One postulation at a time.”
LUKE: (rolling his eyes) “Simply commenting on how it must get exhausting to be so snappy.”
LOUIS: “It’s a born talent.”
LUKE: “I bet. You think he’s upset with you? Simon? Like really upset?”
LOUIS: “Nah, maybe…I don’t think so. He’s tired. It’s like I see his hair change color when he
speaks to me—he’s graying faster than Goku goes Super Saiyan.”
LUKE: “Perhaps you could try to do what he says. What’s wrong with a counselor?”
LOUIS: “I don’t need one.”
LUKE: “Sure, but do it to get him off your back.”
LOUIS: “You know substituting one nuisance for another is not really a relief?”
LUKE: “You might end up liking it.”
LOUIS: “Luke, the reason I hang out with you and not Simon is because you don’t break my balls
repeatedly. Have I been mistaken in that assumption?”
LUKE: “Why are you so against it?”
LOUIS: (groans, walks faster) “I have been it seems.”
LUKE: “Okay, okay. Fine. I dropped it. It’s dropped. We’ll switch topics to your favorite. I ran
into Harry the other day.”
LOUIS: “You did, didn’t you?”
LUKE: “In a bar.”
LOUIS: (suddenly interested) “He goes to bars?”
LUKE: “Yup. He was there…alone…at first.”
LOUIS: “He can pick up girls now?”
LUKE: (purses his lips, opens his mouth, closes it, opens it again) “You know, Louis, about
Harry…”
LOUIS: “I can’t imagine him actually flirting with someone. He’s so…innocent. But ladies like
that, right? They just love to mother guys. Creepiest thing ever. I cringe just thinking about it.”
LUKE: “He was out with some guys that night.”
LOUIS: “He has friends! Even more shocking. What are you gonna tell me next, that he’s actually
cool?”
LUKE: “They seemed to think that.” (changing tactics) “Don’t you ever think of why he never
comes out with the gang when they go to bars?”
LOUIS: “You don’t come out either.”
LUKE: “I prefer gay bars. It gets annoying to keep rejecting girls.”
LOUIS: “What a misfortune to be attractive.”
LUKE: (snorts) “Maybe he feels that way too.” (looks at Louis pointedly)
LOUIS: (chuckles) “You’re probably right. He wouldn’t know what to do with a girl.”
LUKE: (sighs) “Some days…”
LOUIS: “What?”
LUKE: “Just…some days.”

Unsure
Chapter 17: Unsure
[Rainforest Cafe, Walt Disney World in Florida, 1;11pm, Lunchtime]
LIAM: “You look like death.”
LOUIS: “Will people stop pointing that out? I’m supposed to look like death. I’m Hades
remember?”
LIAM: (laughing) “Congrats on being so committed to the character.”
LOUIS: “What can I say? I live and breathe Disney.”
LIAM: “Oh yes. I’m certain. How was yesterday?”
LOUIS: “Got too drunk, which meant whiskey dick, which meant had to tell her I don’t eat female
parts, which meant she slammed the door on the way out. I slept a full four hours though so at least
I’ve got that going for me.”
LIAM: (laughing) “Dear god, train wreck. Why’d you drink that much? Actually, don’t answer
that. It’s you. Of course, you drank that much.”
LOUIS: “Eh, I have no regrets. The beer was better than the girl anyway and she was going to
stain my pillow case with her cheap-ass lipstick.”
LIAM: “Who was it?”
LOUIS: “Hell if I know. Some random that works in the resort.”
LIAM: “Don’t sleep around like this, man. You’ll catch something.”
LOUIS: “Disnerrea? Everyone has it here.”
LIAM: (chuckles) “Don’t joke about that. It’s very real and very uncomfortable.”
LOUIS: (suddenly) “Do you think Eleanor is humping Hazza?”
LIAM: “Who be Hazza again?”
LOUIS: “The curly-haired one with the baby face.”
LIAM: “Styles? Harry Styles? The insanely-attractive one that says ‘uh’ all the time with a voice
so deep it sounds like he went through puberty at five?”
LOUIS: “You think he’s attractive?”
LIAM: “Are we talking about the same person? The one with the dimples? He smiles all the time,
tall, skinny, loves skinny jeans?”
LOUIS: “Uh, I don’t know. I guess.”

LIAM: “Has a really husky voice, british, super british, like suburbia british.”
LOUIS: “Hey, I’m british and so are you!”
LIAM: “Not suburbia british though. There is a difference.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, that kid, the kid you apparently stalk in your free time and can wax poetic about
for hours.” (mocking him) “Oh, Louis, his dimples. Oh, Louis, his voice. Oh, Louis, he’s
wonderful.”
LIAM: (rolls his eyes) “If you’ve spoken to him once outside the park, you’d know all these
things. I wasn’t giving you his mom’s maiden name.”
LOUIS: “More importantly, you think he’s into Eleanor?”
LIAM: (surprised) “He is?!”
LOUIS: “I asked you what you thought.”
LIAM: (shrugs) “I don’t know. Maybe? I would see it. But I don’t think he quite swi—”
LOUIS: (interrupting him) “You would see it?”
LIAM: “Yeah. She’s into all that lovey-dovey, cheesy bull. He seems like someone that would
swoop her off her feet…maybe drop her afterwards ‘cause he’s such a klutz but you get the gist.
All romantic and grand.”
LOUIS: “You think she’s his type though?”
LIAM: “Who knows?” (realizing) “Hey, what has you so worried? I thought you said you didn’t
want to sleep with El anymore.”
LOUIS: “I don’t. We’re over. Way over. It’s not that.”
LIAM: “What then? The macho pride in you demands that you protect your abandoned territory
either way just because?”
LOUIS: (rolling his eyes) “Yes. That’s it right there.”
LIAM: “Then what?”
LOUIS: “Nothing.” (shrugs) “I can’t see them together so when it was brought to my attention, I
was a little weirded out, wanted to see what you thought.” (afterthought) “She’d drive him insane.”
LIAM: “Just because she drives you insane doesn’t mean—“
LOUIS: “No, she’s not his type. She’s peppy and over-the-top and bubbly. She’d give him anxiety
and wouldn’t let him speak and probably order him around in bed. And then she’d want to be
cuddled and he wouldn’t wanna cuddle her.”
LIAM: “You seem to have given this a lot of thought… Since when do you know his type? Up
until now you didn’t even know the kid's eye color.”
LOUIS: “He has very bright green eyes bordering on blue some days. And they’re big and they get
bigger when he’s caught of guard, which is always because he’s like a baby deer, always standing
in the middle of some street about to be hit.”
LIAM: “And you call me the stalker. ”
LOUIS: “I’m good at reading people.”
LIAM: “I thought you guys didn’t get along.” (slams his palm on the table, Liam flinches) “The
hell was that for?”
LOUIS: (growled) “We get along. We get along quite well actually. ”
LIAM: (wary) “So…what did I miss these past few days that I went to Cali? A lot seems to have
gone down. El is mad at you. Zayn is not so mad at you. And you’re not mad at Harry. What’s
happening here?”
LOUIS: “Nothing. Why does everyone think he doesn’t like me? At first it was annoying and now
it’s becoming worrisome.”
LIAM: “Well, it’s just that he’s a bit intimidated by you. You do tend to push him around a little.
Up until now…” (treading carefully) “You sometimes…say stuff that is mean or…” (coughing)
“Derogatory, which may hurt him…I think. He’s mute so I don’t know for sure but…” (seeing
how worried Louis looks, broken) “But why are we talking about this in the first place? He’s
probably just getting used to you. You’re an acquired taste, that’s all.”
LOUIS: (insecure) “He’s said that, all that?”
LIAM: “I don’t know.”
LOUIS: “I just wish people would tell me what he says. It’s confusing to get the interpretations.
Him, I can understand. But him, through the eyes of other people…is so different. What you think
of him, all of you, is so different.”
LIAM: “We don’t know him that well. I think many people just do guesswork from what Zayn
mentions and…and…uh…”
LOUIS: “His ex?”
LIAM: (suddenly stiffly) “Okay, I’m gonna go order chicken tenders now.”
LOUIS: (confused) “What? Why?”
LIAM: “Nope. Chicken tenders. I am not having this conversation with you. I’m bad with secrets
and good with gossip and bad with you and nope, nope, nope.”
LOUIS: “What? Come on? What’s the secret?”
LIAM: “Do you want something?”
LOUIS: “The secret.”
LIAM: “To eat, I mean?”
LOUIS: “Liam!”
LIAM: “You’re not getting it from me, Louis. My mouth is shut. Unless there’s a chicken tender
coming in.”
LOUIS: “Ugh! What the hell is the big deal? It’s an ex. Was this girl that fucking psycho?”
LIAM: (eyes-wide, screechy) “Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.” (backing away) “I am never
coming back here.”
LOUIS: (screaming) “Liam!” (slumping on the table) “For shit’s sake, what?!”
Ullagone
Chapter 18: Ullagone
[Splash Mountain, Walt Disney World in Florida, 2:24pm, Meet & Greet]
HARRY: (smiling) “Hey Louis. How was lunch?”
LOUIS: (mock sadness) “Hey, buddy.”
HARRY: (smile immediately falling off) “What’s wrong? You’re sad.”
LOUIS: (surprised at the speed of the reaction ) “Uh…”
HARRY: “Is something wrong?”
LOUIS: (back on the act) “Well, yes and no…”
HARRY: “What is it? What happened?”
LOUIS: “Harry, I think…” (almost losing it and bursting into laughter, covers it up by palming his
face, fake sniffles) “I uh…”
HARRY: (whimpering) “What? What happened?” (wraps an arm around him awkwardly) “Are
you hurt?” (realizes what he is doing, jumps back) “Are you sad? Did I do something wrong?”
LOUIS: (can’t help himself, incredulous, snappy) “How is it that that is the first thing in your
mind?”
HARRY: “I did? I did something wrong?”
LOUIS: (unimpressed) “Harry…”
HARRY: (urgently) “I didn’t mean to!” (pause) “Whatever it is.”
LOUIS: “You’re unbelievable.”
HARRY: “I’m sorry.”
LOUIS: “No, you idiot. I just got fired.”
HARRY: (speechless, devastated) “What…”
LOUIS: (ranting) “No longer working here. Fired. No more Disney. Hasta la vista this job. Time
to be homeless.”
HARRY: (shell-shocked) “You’re lying.”
LOUIS: “No…I’m…” (realizing Harry is not taking it well, torn as to whether to keep going)
“I’m not.”
HARRY: “So you’re leaving for good?”

LOUIS: (can’t even get himself to smile he’s so surprised) “Yeah…”
HARRY: (palms his mouth, looks left and right, shuffles, under his breath) “Shit…” (anxious)
“Why?”
LOUIS: “Because I’m fired?”
HARRY: “Why are you fired?” (shakily) “Why did they fire you? Why would they do that? You
were good at this.”
LOUIS: (half-hearted) “They think I’m too mean for this job.”
HARRY: (angry) “That’s not true!” (frustrated) “You’re good at this. You don’t deserve to be
fired. You have to be here…you didn’t do anything wrong. Why would they do this? Is this legal?
Like with the contract? Is this—they can’t do this…what about the contract? They can’t fire you.”
LOUIS: (smiling slowly) “You’re seconds away from bursting into tears, aren’t you?”
HARRY: “I’m sad. I’m sorry. I don’t know…It’s sad. Is there anything I can do….”
LOUIS: (blurted) “I was joking.”
HARRY: “What?”
LOUIS: “It was a prank. I’m not fired. Simon loves me. I lied.”
HARRY: “Why would you…” (trails off, opens his mouth, closes it, walks away, shaking his
head)
LOUIS: “Hey!” (runs after him) “Hey, hey, it was a prank, harmless…hey.” (intercepts him)
“Hey…” (sees how embarrassed Harry is, chuckles) “It’s okay.”
HARRY: “I…” (palms his face) “This isn’t fair…that wasn’t a good joke. That wasn’t funny. I
was worried.” (sees Louis grinning) “That’s not funny.”
LOUIS: “It was stupid—I didn’t think it would…Harry.” (actually worried) “I just wanted to see
your reaction.”
HARRY: (frustrated) “Well now you have.” (walks past him) “Hope you’re happy.”
LOUIS: “Harry.” (groans, follows him again) “It wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t mean to worry you.
Well, I did, but I didn’t think you were going to get so…so…hurt over it. I thought it’d be light…a
joke… Harry, can you stop walking away for a second?”
HARRY: (irritated) “What did you think was going to happen, Louis? What did you think? Of
course, I’d get worried. And sad. And…” (mumbles the rest)
LOUIS: “What?”
HARRY: “Nothing. Just nothing. Good prank.”
LOUIS: (sighs) “Maybe I took it too far.”
HARRY: “It’s fine.”

LOUIS: “I honestly just wanted to see you celebrate. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
HARRY: (genuinely confused) “Why would I celebrate?”
LOUIS: “Well, you wouldn’t have to put up with me all day long.”
HARRY: “You’re the only person I really talk to.”
HARRY: “It is. You’re the only kinda friend—acquaintance, interaction thing I have other than
Zayn, who has to talk to me because he’s my best friend, and if you left then I’d just be back to
square one again. I thought I was making some progress…I thought…”
LOUIS: “I’m not going to leave.” (sobers up) “I didn’t think it’d be…” (sighs) “I feel bad…I
suppose…about how hard you took it.”
HARRY: (shrugs) “It’s fine. I overreacted.”
LOUIS: (blurting) “You did.”
HARRY: (embarrassed) “Yeah…I do that…sometimes.” (sighs) “Yeah…” (starts walking away

awkwardly) “I’m going to…go now because I have something to—I need to—uh, meet someone—
I just, uh, wanna leave really…”
LOUIS: (interrupting him) “It was cute.”
HARRY: “Huh?”
LOUIS: (blushing against his will, forcing the words out) “The overreacting, it was cute. I liked it.
It made me feel better about myself. It was flattering—I’m flattered. Don’t feel bad.”
HARRY: (lost) “Okay…”
LOUIS: “It’s good to know you want me around.”
HARRY: (painfully confused, trying so hard) “Should I not want that?”
LOUIS: (immediately) “No, no. It’s nice. I’m not used to it but it’s a good nice…” (making fun of
himself) “Like there’s such thing as a bad nice, Louis.” (snorts) “I’m trying to say you shouldn’t
stop caring about people just because I made this stupid prank…” (mumbled) “Shouldn’t stop
caring about…” (wince) “Me…in specific.”
HARRY: “I won’t. It’s not like I can… I don’t really decide that. I just…” (shrugs) “Care…just
happens. If I like people, I care about them.”
LOUIS: (smitten unconsciously, smiling faintly) “I’d care too…if you were fired. So you know…
I’d be upset too. I’d make more of a scene probably, curse a bit and such, lead a protest. It’d have
been a ton more embarrassing.”
HARRY: (smiles, warm) “I know.”
LOUIS: (smug) “Do you now?”

HARRY: “Yeah… You watch out for me. Have since the start.” (walks away, hands in pockets,
leaving Louis stunned)
Usually
Chapter 19: Usually
[Mad Tea Party, Walt Disney World in Florida, 2:24pm, Babysitting]
JACK: (pointing at Louis, jumping up and down, to Harry) “Punch him in the face!”
LOUIS: “Yeah, let’s not do that.”
JACK: “Punch him!”
HARRY: “That’s not very nice, Jackie.”
JACK: “But he’s the bad guy. Bad guys must get punched. That’s how it works.” (whiny) “Why
do you want the bad guy to win?”
HARRY: “Still though… That would hurt…”
JACK: (screaming) “Punch him!”
LOUIS: “How about I punch you in the face, you twerp?”
HARRY: (alarmed) “Louis!”
JACK: (pointing his tongue out) “You lose at the end. You loser. Hercules punch him in the face,
now.” (to Louis) “You’re about to be punched again, loser.”
HARRY: “Jack, what did I tell you about that word?”
JACK: (sheepish) “That it’s mean.”
HARRY: “Yes. And?”
JACK: “Be nice to nice. But Hades isn’t nice. He’s a bad guy. He sends snake-dragons to the city
and hits the devil children until they become worms and wants to destroy Olympus and throws you
in the river of ghosts. And tricks you!”
HARRY: (lost) “Well…I guess, that’s true but—”
JACK: “So I can be mean to Hades.” (to Louis) “You are a loser. I laughed when you got thrown
in the river of ghosts.”
LOUIS: “I’m going to kill this kid.”
HARRY: “Louis, please.” (looks around worriedly) “Parents don’t like the k word.”
JACK: “Kill him, Hercules! Kill him.” (suddenly, in realization) “Is that what happens in the river
of ghosts? Do people die there?”
HARRY: “No, no, no.”

JACK: “What happens then?”
LOUIS: (amused) “They get killed.”
HARRY: “Louis!”
JACK: “Kill him!”
LOUIS: (smirking) “You were saying? I couldn’t hear you over this child wanting to kill me.”
HARRY: (face palms) “Say nice things.”
JACK: (runs over, kicks Louis in the shin) “Ha!”
LOUIS: “Fuck!” (jumping around on one foot)
HARRY: (horrified) “Louis! Don’t swear!”
LOUIS: (limping around) “The little parasite kicked me!”
JACK: “Fuck!”
HARRY: “Don’t say that!” (lowers down, touches Jack’s shoulders) “Listen to me, love, don’t say
that. That’s a bad word. and it hurts people’s feelings. We don’t say that. It would make me and
your mommy really sad.”
LOUIS: (laughing) “Yeah, buddy, fuck’s right.”
HARRY: (stern) “Louis, stop it. He’s four.”
JACK: (crossing his arms, to Louis) “That’s a bad word that makes Hercules sad so I will kick
you again as punishment.” (tries to run towards Louis, Harry grabs him, raises him off the ground
before he can) “Hey!”
“Let’s play flying.”
(pouting, crossing his arms) “No, we were gonna kill Hades.”
HARRY: “But isn’t flying like a superhero better than beating bad guys up?”
JACK: “No, it’s not. It’s lame.” (giggling at Harry’s rolling eyes) “Did you see that, Hercules?
Did you see what I did?”
HARRY: “I did but I’d rather you don’t do that again.”
JACK: “Kick him?”
HARRY: “Yeah, don’t kick him.”
JACK: “Why not?”
HARRY: “Because that’s not very nice—“
LOUIS: (comes closer to them, pokes Jack in the stomach) “Because Hades will get mad and fry
your diaper-ed ass.”
JACK: “I don’t wear a diaper.”
LOUIS: “You’ll need one when I’m done with you.” (picks him up from Harry’s arms, throws him
over his shoulder)
HARRY: (worried) “Louis! Careful.” (chasing after him) “You might hurt him.”
JACK: (squealing, reaching for Harry) “No. He has me. Save me, Hercules.”
LOUIS: (dangling him upside down while Jack giggles) “What was that? Nothing can save you
now.” (walks him to the edge of the bridge) “How about I throw you into this river of ghosts?”
JACK: (laughing) “That’s not the river of death. That’s just a stupid pond.”
LOUIS: “That’s what you think but look closely.” (Jack squints curiously, Louis pretends to drop
him in, Jack squeals in fear, Louis balances him again, hugging him close, Jack clings to his neck,
starts laughing) “You almost died, eh? Are your pants wet yet?”
JACK: (giggling) “Again! Again. Do the upside down thing again!”
HARRY: (softer, almost affectionately) “Louis, be careful.”
LOUIS: (lowers him upside down again) “So death by river or death by tickling?”
JACK: (giggling madly) “You’re not hurting me. This doesn’t hurt at all.”
LOUIS: “Oh, you want it to hurt, eh?”
HARRY: (smiling fondly) “Louis—“
LOUIS: “He’s fine. He’s fine. Relax.” (holds him right side up, balancing him on his hip) “He’s
good. See?” (straightening Jack’s shirt again on his stomach) “Tell Hercules, you’re okay so he
stops worrying.”
JACK: “I’m okay but Hades is more funner than you, Hercules.” (pouting, touching Louis’ face,
whispering) “Why didn’t you kill me? Are you gonna kill me next time?”
LOUIS: (whispering back, smiling) “No.”
JACK: (sulking) “But I wanted a real fight…with punches and killings.”
LOUIS: (fixing Jack’s hair away from his eyes) “How about a picture instead?”
JACK: “No.” (crosses his arms) “Fight time.”
LOUIS: “I’ll let you punch me then?”
HARRY: “Maybe not.”
JACK: “Punch Hercules!”
LOUIS: “No.”
JACK: “Why not?”
LOUIS: “Because look at him. He’s too weak. He might fall over.”
JACK: (giggling) “No! Hercules wins because he’s the strongest.” (wiggling until he gets put
down, runs over to Harry) “Right, Hercules?”
HARRY: (smiles down at him, picks him up) “Right. Strongest in the whole world. Even though
I’m not the funnest, it seems.”
JACK: “Can I have a kiss?”
HARRY: “If you stop kicking people.” (smiles at Jack nodding) “Show me your cheek.” (pecks
him lightly on the cheek)
LOUIS: “Can I have a kiss?”
HARRY: (blushing) “No.”
JACK: “Why?”
LOUIS: “Yeah, why? Why don’t I get a kiss? I’ll stop kicking people too for a kiss.”
HARRY: “Bad guys don’t get kisses.”
“Then I’ll kick people.”
(hands in the air, joyous) “Yes!”
LOUIS: “If I don’t get kisses then why should I be nice?”
JACK: (thinking) “You are a bad guy though and bad guys don’t get kisses because they’re
bad…”
LOUIS: “Oh!” (holds his chest) “Everyone is hurting me today. Nobody wants to be my friend.
I’m all alone.”
HARRY: (snorts) “Bad guy.”
JACK: (chanting) “Bad guy!”
LOUIS: (pouts) “But I don’t wanna be a bad guy anymore. I’m tired of being a bad guy. It’s
lonely. I wanna be a good guy now.”
JACK: (confused) “You do?” (to Harry, whispering) “Can he do that?”
HARRY: (shrugs) “I don’t know. You decide.”
JACK: (looks back at Louis who is smiling at him) “Are you gonna be a good guy forever…or is
this just a trick to get us to trust you and then BAM!” (hands in the air, super excited) “You trick
us!”
LOUIS: (laughing) “What do you think?”

JACK: “What do you think, Hercules?”
HARRY: (looks over at Louis, more serious) “I think it’s a trick…” (doesn’t break eye contact,
quieter) “I think he wants to trick me into believing he cares…”
LOUIS: (gulping, biting his lip) “It might very well be but hey, it’s about trust. You gotta take a
leap of faith. Heroes have courage last time I remember.”
JACK: (whispered, awed) “Give him a kiss, Hercules.”
HARRY: (whispers back) “You think?”
JACK: (nodding) “Leap of faith!”
LOUIS: “Yeah, go on repeating that…not that other word.”
JACK: (giggling, kisses Harry on the cheek) “Will you kiss him?”
HARRY: (blushing, as he walks towards Louis, Jack still in his arms) “Of course.” (gives him a
kiss on the cheek, visibly longer than the one he shared with Jack) “I’m taking a leap a faith though
so it could go wrong…”
JACK: (gives Louis a kiss as well) “You’re good now. Don’t mess it up. You can be a hero too.”
Upas
Chapter 20: Upas
[Seven Dwarfs Mine Train, Walt Disney World in Florida, 5:14pm, End of the Day Children
Pick-up]
MOTHER: (chastising) “You’d think Disney would have something against men showing so
much skin.”
HARRY: (innocently) “As opposed to women who should show skin?”
MOTHER: “Don’t give me sass, young man. Both should not be showing skin around kids this
young.”
HARRY: “I’m not…I was just asking…”
MOTHER: “You’re working with minors all day. Shouldn’t you at least wear pants?”
HARRY: “Those didn’t exist in Ancient Greece…”
MOTHER: “And what does that have to do with it?”
HARRY: (getting flustered) “Hercules was from Ancient Greece. I’m Hercules. I can’t wear
pants.”
MOTHER: “You think the kids overthink it that much?”
LOUIS: (snappy, standing beside Harry protectively) “You think the kids care about his thighs?”
HARRY: “Louis…” (polite) “I just can’t do anything about it…It’s uniform…”
MOTHER: “Well, that’s exactly what I’m saying. What kind of uniform is that?”
LOUIS: (dry) “The one from the movie? Lady, do you not know how this cast member thing
works? You dress up like a character that already exists. We don’t invent our own costumes. This
isn’t Project Runway.”
MOTHER: (stunned) “I’d appreciate if you showed some respect.”
HARRY: (hands raised in a pacifying gesture) “He means well…”
LOUIS: “I would if it was reciprocated. Unlike you, who’s on vacation, some of us are doing
fourteen hour jobs here and the least you can do is not make our life harder.”
MOTHER: “All I said was this type of indecency is troubling. As a parent of a two-year old, I
have the right to be worried.”
LOUIS: “You do and he listened and told you that he can’t do anything about it. Why are you
pestering him?”
MOTHER: “Because I want this problem fixed.”

LOUIS: “And you think we have control over this because?”
HARRY: “Louis, please.” (to the woman) “I apologize. I get your concern. I apologize. I will try
to talk to someone about it.”
LOUIS: “No, you won’t. This isn’t your responsibility or fault. If you have a problem, take it to
Simon, the manager, or better take it to Walt Disney Studios. They were the once to decide to be
historically accurate and depict Hercules with chiton—that is the name of this article by the way.
Let me educate you.”
MOTHER: “Why, I have never seen anyone this—“
HARRY: “Louis! Please…” (pleading) “He’s irritated… He’s just… Just…” (grabbing Louis’
arm, pleading) “Louis…stop.”
LOUIS: (ignoring him but not shaking him off) “This what? This sick and tired of the constant
abuse we get from parents for hours every day?”
MOTHER: “Might I remind you that you have chosen this job for yourself. Some of us are trying
to have a nice time here. We don’t need the likes of you to ruin it.”
LOUIS: (fuming) “Then stop standing here and arguing with me! Go have a nice time. Go do other
things. Do you enjoy treating us like your slaves? Is this what you consider a nice time?”
HARRY: (squeaky) “Okay! Okay. Okay.” (stands in front of Louis, in between them) “This
escalated very quickly because it’s dinner time and we are all tired and hungry and in need of rest.
Please, let’s be mature about this—“
MOTHER: “Tell that to your friend over there. Is he old enough to have this job? He’s a kid
himself.”
HARRY: (interjecting before Louis can) “He is and he has worked here for years now and is very,
very good at this. The kids love him. He’s just having a bad day. It’s been raining all morning. I’m
sure it’s taking a toll on all of us.”
LOUIS: “Yes, especially the ones of us wearing nothing and getting hypothermia. You think he’d
be wearing this if he didn’t have to? You think he wants to freeze? Look at him, he’s shivering.”
MOTHER: (more somber) “I was simply making a comment…”
LOUIS: “I know you were. And I know it’s easy to forget about circumstances when really, why
should you care about what goes on? You’re here for ten days and your concerns start with what to
eat for breakfast and end with whether your kid is going to see a pair of boxers accidentally. I get it.
I’d have those concerns too if I was in your place but I’m not. I’m in this place and he’s in this
place and there is only so much we can do. And there is so much we can take before we get
miserable too. We’re given an order and we obey so that we can get a check at the end of the week.
If you think we care about principles and outfits and fashion trends, you must have never worked
minimum wage jobs that involve being on your feet for half a day.”
HARRY: “I really am sorry if we caused any trouble…I try to be careful about it. I wouldn’t want
kids to see anything inappropriate either. I could talk to the manager. I can’t promise anything…”
MOTHER: “No, no, it’s okay. Your friend is right. It’s been a long day for us all.” (somewhat
smiling) “Having crying toddlers takes a toll on your patience. That might have been a tad uncalled
for.”
HARRY: “It’s fine. We get it. Kids are lovely until they’re not. Go on. I’m sure they want you
back.”
MOTHER: “I should. They’ve probably driven my husband insane already. Again, I’m sorry for
this whole thing. Took so much time. I hope the rest of the day goes well.”
HARRY: “It will. It’s almost over anyway. Have fun. Enjoy. Say hi to the kids. I’d check the
times on the rides too. Since most are wet, not many people.”
MOTHER: (walking away) “Thank you.”
HARRY: (sighs) “That ended well…”
LOUIS: (frowning) “Why don’t you stand up for yourself?”
HARRY: “I do…I just…These are parents, Louis. Our fate is in their hands.”
LOUIS: “She was blaming you for something you didn’t even choose to do. It’s annoying. You
should have said something.”
HARRY: “I did. I’m just not as…froward as you. I don’t know how to be and they’re parents. It’s
best to be nice.”
LOUIS: “You’re too nice. You’re always too nice.”
HARRY: “I try to be nice.”
LOUIS: “Why?”
HARRY: (small) “So people can like me…”
LOUIS: “Do you really need everyone to like you?”
HARRY: “No, but…I need some people…It’d be nice if people liked me. I’d like that. I don’t feel
bad about myself if people like me.” (insecure) “Is that a bad thing?”
LOUIS: “It is if it means letting people walk all over you.”
HARRY: “I don’t.”
LOUIS: “You do. You let people treat you like a rug. Yes, you work here. Yes, you have to be
helpful. But you don’t have to withstand abuse. Not everything that happens in the world is your
fault. Very little is actually.”
HARRY: “She wasn’t abusing me… It was just a misunderstanding. She was concerned. I get it.
She’s a mother.”
LOUIS: “Forget about that. I’m talking in general. You should learn to be louder.”
HARRY: “Louder?”
LOUIS: “As it stands, you’re so quiet that when you say ‘ouch’ no one bothers to listen. You
shouldn’t get hurt for people to like you.”
HARRY: (wincing, looking down) “It hurts more if they don’t.”
LOUIS: (pursuing his lips, sighs) “Look at me.” (Harry raises his eyes) “You’re a likable person.
You don’t have to try so hard. I promise. Let go for a little bit. Don’t be so scared.”
HARRY: (nods, unconvinced) “Right…”
LOUIS: “I’m serious. You bend over backwards. Just…do nothing for a bit and you’ll see.”
HARRY: “I’ll see what?”
LOUIS: “That it will all work out. That nobody cares if you’re not perfect every second of every
day.”
HARRY: (smiles, shy) “You wanna come eat dinner with me…like tonight, if you’re not busy or
have any other plans? I know it’s sort of boring and you like to go out better but we could grab a
drink or something?”
LOUIS: “Sure. Dinner and drink sounds good. It’ll give me something to look forward to.”
HARRY: (genuinely surprised) “Really?”
LOUIS: “Your warm car and no bus and…” (hums) “Can I drive?”
HARRY: “Do you know how?”
LOUIS: “I have a license and I really want to. I’ll be safe.”
HARRY: “Somehow I doubt that…” (Louis pouts, Harry grins at him) “Miss one stop sign and
I’ll take over.”
LOUIS: (giddy) “You’ll have to peel me off the car-seat, fool. Now I’m really looking forward to
it.”
HARRY: (under his breath) “Me too, Lou, me too.”

Rover
Chapter 21: Rover
[Harry’s Range Rover, West Irlo Bronson Memorial Highway, Florida, 6:154pm, Driving to
the Village]
LOUIS: (driving) “Do I turn right here? I turn right here?”
HARRY: (in the passenger seat) “No, the third exit coming up, you turn right.” (glances at him,
double-take) “Put your seatbelt on. Why is your seatbelt not on? Louis!”
LOUIS: “Oh, it isn’t?” (looks down)
HARRY: “Look at the road!”
LOUIS: (looks back up) “I thought I did that. Huh.”
HARRY: (incredulous) “Huh?! Huh?!”
LOUIS: “Do it for me.”
HARRY: “What? How?”
LOUIS: “Do you want me to die, Harry?”
HARRY: “No, no…”
LOUIS: “Then save me.”
HARRY: (sighs, leans over, trying to get the seatbelt) “This is hard…” (struggling) “Don’t move
for a bit…”
LOUIS: (teasing) “Should I stop driving then?”
HARRY: “No, keep driving…safely.” (grabs the belt, pulls it over Louis’ torso) “Put your arm
through here.”
LOUIS: “I’m holding the wheel.”
HARRY: “Just one hand it for a second but do it carefully.”
LOUIS: “So you want us to die?”
HARRY: “I want you to have this seatbelt when we inevitably get in an accident.”
LOUIS: “How positive, Harold.”
HARRY: “Hand!” (Louis detaches palm, puts it through the loop) “Almost there…” (mumbled
under his breath) “Can’t believe I didn’t check this before…dumb, dumb, dumb.”
LOUIS: (car bounces on a speed bump, Harry falls face first on Louis’ lap, face against crotch)
“Oops!”
HARRY: (mumbled, mortified) “Hi…”
LOUIS: “Comfortable?” (amused) “Wanna take a nap?”
HARRY: (trying to awkwardly raise himself again not knowing where to put his hands) “Only if
something else doesn’t wake up.”
LOUIS: (pleasantly shocked) “What did you just say?”
HARRY: (frustrated, blushing) “Sorry I can’t be more articulate but my mouth is full of crotch.”
LOUIS: (laughing) “Get out of there, you perv!”
HARRY: “I am trying…” (finally gets back up, buckles the seatbelt, slumps on his side again)
“Well, that wasn’t hard at all…Pun not intended.” (Louis howls in laughter, Harry smiles, trying to
calm his breathing, get his face to stop being red, nervous chuckling) “And we’re not even dead.
Will you look at that?”
LOUIS: (smirking) “You sarcasm? Wow, how many hidden skills do you have, curly?”
HARRY: (sarcastic) “If you had let me stay down there, we’d be able to count better…”
LOUIS: (gaping in delight) “You dirty piece of shit, when did you get like this?”
HARRY: (shrugs, lazy smile) “When my life flashed before my eyes. Said to myself might as well
try to be snappy now because I’ll never get a chance.” (sudden) “Right here. Right here!”
LOUIS: (car skids left dangerously, then back in the middle) “There is no right.” (points to the
left) “You want me to go into the forest.”
HARRY: (holding on the door in a death grip, terror on his face, whispered) “The other right.”
(pokes finger on the glass, louder) “This right. The right right. The right you missed.”
LOUIS: “Oh…” (sheepish) “Is there another exit we could take?”
HARRY: (leans back) “I don’t know…I never miss the glaring one.”
LOUIS: “It’s an adventure then!” (keeps driving ahead) “We’ll just drive until there’s another
right.”
HARRY: “That could be ages. We don’t even know where that right leads.
LOUIS: “What, Harry? Not every right leads to the same destination? That’s not how you map?”
HARRY: (rolls his eyes) “Where are we going?”
LOUIS: “Wherever we end up. Are you opposed to trying somewhere new? Beer’s good
anywhere, I promise.”
HARRY: (shaking his head, smiling) “Don’t get us killed.”
LOUIS: “Can I get you drunk?”

HARRY: “Then you might have to drive back and…all circumstances considered, we’ll end up
sleeping in the car.”
LOUIS: (pouting) “But I’m doing well!”
HARRY: “Eh, not quite…”
LOUIS: (slows down abruptly, Harry is thrown against the window) “I’ll keep doing that if you
don’t let me drive back.”
HARRY: “Louis!” (catching his breath) “Do you blackmail your way into everything?”
LOUIS: “Usually yes.” (speeds up, Harry’s flush against the seat before slowing again, the car
jerking to an almost stop) “It’s very effective.”
HARRY: (stiff against the seat as Louis continues speeding up and slowing down) “I can see
why.” (car speeds up) “This can’t be safe.” (car slows down) “I might get carsick like this.”
LOUIS: “If only there was a way to make it stop…”
HARRY: “I’ll let you drive if you’re not drunk. I’ll drive if you’re drunk.”
LOUIS: “Will you take me home and ravish me?”
HARRY: (frowning) “Not if you’re not sober enough to give consent.”
LOUIS: “How boring.”
HARRY: “Consent is not boring. It’s necessary. Affirmative consent.”
LOUIS: “What’s that?”
HARRY: “It means you have to say ‘yes’, not ‘no’.”
LOUIS: “Huh?”
HARRY: “Let’s say you drink, or not drink, you do anything. I start, well, kissing you…”
LOUIS: (gulping) “Right…”
HARRY: “We wanna…” (flushing bright red, stumbling over his words) “Do more, like other
stuff, like—like—”
LOUIS: (choked) “Other stuff.”
HARRY: “You have to say yes. I have to ask and you have to say yes. Only then it’s considered
consent. It’s not the same as me kissing you and you saying no. You have to always give
permission, not forbid. It’s different.”
LOUIS: (blushing) “Then you’d have to ask…”
HARRY: “Yeah, that’s the point. I have to ask. I have to say, do you want this? Do you want me,
essentially.”
LOUIS: (speechless) “Yes…I get that.” (awkward) “That makes sense.”
HARRY: “I’ll take you home though, if you can’t do it yourself. I’ll take care of you so you
shouldn’t worry. And I’ll be very polite about it.”
LOUIS: (hides a smile by looking away) “Maybe I will get drunk then…to test you of course.”
HARRY: “Of course.”

Ruminate
Chapter 22: Ruminate
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 8:43pm, Not Sexy Time]
ELEANOR: “So he drove you guys back?”
HARRY: “He did.”
ELEANOR: “Because he didn’t drink?”
HARRY: “Not a sip.”
ELEANOR: “This has to be a lie.”
HARRY: “It’s not. I wouldn’t have let him otherwise. You know me. I don’t joke about this
stuff.”
ELEANOR: “That’s hard to believe knowing how plastered he likes to get. It’s good that he didn’t
though. I don’t know if you’d like drunk Louis necessarily.”
HARRY: (concerned) “Why?”
ELEANOR: “He gets…dark, sad, a little heavy. Drunk Louis is definitely heavy. High Louis is
better.”
HARRY: “What do you mean heavy?”
ELEANOR: “Louis is a very smart boy and he has lots of thoughts, at times too many. He
overthinks a lot of things. He ruminates, dwells. And all that, those loose ends, come out when
he’s drunk. So he gets a bit self-defeating, pessimistic, not much like you though I have never seen
you quite drunk.”
HARRY: “I can imagine that.” (nodding to himself) “It sounds like him.”
ELEANOR: “I thought you barely knew him.”
HARRY: “Yeah, but I can tell he’s upset sometimes. He tries to hide it. He does it well. He’s
perky and witty and funny—he’s Louis. But I can tell…I don’t know, maybe because I hide things
too, feelings, bad feelings, behind smiling and stuff. I can understand him. I feel it almost…when
he’s feeling down. My heart is heavy. I feel it and it sucks because I can’t tell him anything about
it…like that I could help, or be there for him in a way…carry the weight. ”
ELEANOR: “Why not?”
HARRY: “I don’t think he wants me to know. I don’t think he expects it. I don’t want to turn him
off, make him feel scrutinized or poked at, judged. I don’t want him to think having sad thoughts is
a bad thing. We all have both thoughts. It’s how life works. Some days you’re happy. Some days
you’re not.”
ELEANOR: “Maybe he needs someone to talk to.”

HARRY: “He’ll ask then. He’s never shy about demanding stuff. No need to chase him around.”
ELEANOR: “Maybe he wants to be chased…”
HARRY: (dazed) “Maybe…” (snapping out of it) “But not by me…” (whispered) “Definitely not
by me.”
ELEANOR: (after a long pause, trying to cheer him up) “So… You went out to a bar and he
didn’t drink…”
HARRY: “He didn’t drink. He was on his best behavior. He had coke, lots of it. And I paid for the
entire thing, which I didn’t mind as much since I dragged him out there. I had a beer and he had a
sip of it before he went back to his coke.”
ELEANOR: “But he loves beer!”
HARRY: “He loves driving more.”
ELEANOR: “Since when?”
HARRY: (shrugs) “He enjoys it a lot. He has fun. He’s not that good at it and gives me heart-
attacks every three minutes or so but he has fun. He’s adorable doing it too…except when, you
know, you feel like you might die or he might die…when it’s safe—he’s safe—it’s adorable. He
smiles a lot. He has a nice smile. He lights up and squirms, like a baby.”
ELEANOR: (smiling) “You’re so smitten.”
HARRY: (shrugs, blushing) “I’m not gonna deny it.”
ELEANOR: “You like him.”
HARRY: “It’s difficult not to like him.”
ELEANOR: “You like him a lot.”
HARRY: “I think he’s super cool and brilliant. Always thought that. But now he talks to me and
like…” (truly in disbelief, giddy) “Wants to hang out with me…outside. He came to dinner.”
(happy with himself) “I asked, by the way. You should be proud of me. I never ask and I asked and
he said yes. I don’t think he did it because he feels bad either. He wanted to.”
ELEANOR: (uneasy) “You know he doesn’t…perhaps…look at it…” (sighs) “The same way you
might.”
HARRY: “I know…He has lots of friends. And maybe we’re not even friends but he talks to me,
which is good, I think.”
ELEANOR: “Yeah, that’s good, very good…” (thoughtful) “It’s nice that you’re making friends.
I’m happy to see that.” (struggling) “I’m just worried a little.”
HARRY: “Why?”
ELEANOR: “Well, I don’t want you placing a lot of importance on him and then having him
disappoint you.”
HARRY: (shrugs) “I’m not doing that…He’s cool, yeah, but I’m not…” (voice cracks) “Getting
obsessed by any means. I’m just happy I can spend some time with him. I don’t feel as lonely…”
ELEANOR: “So, Ed’s still ignoring you?”
HARRY: (curling into himself) “I’ve stopped calling.”
ELEANOR: “That’s for the best I think.” (touching his knee) “I know it’s hard but you need the
distance.”
HARRY: (in his thoughts) “I’m not in love with him. I love him, yes, but I’m not in love with him.
I know everyone seems to think that—Zayn says it too—but I don’t want him back, not like that. I
know it won’t work out. I’m over that part. I’ve mourned that part. I just want my friend back. He
was a good friend, one of my only friends, and there’s a hole now, a vacuum of where he stood.”
ELEANOR: “I’m sorry…”
HARRY: “Lucky me, right? Dating my best friend then screwing it over so he hates me and
doesn’t wanna speak to me ever again.”
ELEANOR: “He doesn’t hate you.”
HARRY: “I know he doesn’t. He’s too sweet to hate anyone… Doesn’t make it hurt any less.”
ELEANOR: “Have you tried texting him?”
HARRY: “No, because I know he’ll reply then and I want to give him what he wants so I’m
holding off. I can’t stop myself from calling when I’m alone, doing nothing, feeling shitty,
crying…I can’t stop that because it’s routine, but I can delete my long, cheesy, melodramatic,
stupid texts once I realize that I lost him and that it’s okay because I didn’t deserve him in the first
place…Wow, getting heavy without even drinking. Man…”
ELEANOR: “Zayn’s always there. I am too. If you need someone to talk to, we’re always there.”
HARRY: (snorts) “Not the same. Different kind of hole. Not one that can be filled with you or
Zayn or anyone like that…anyone…platonic. It’s a hole of hell. An Ed shaped hole of hell. I hate
him sometimes…and myself.”
ELEANOR: “The hole of being desired, you mean? That’s what you’re missing—what you want.
You want to feel wanted, pinned after, worshipped, cared for, spoiled, loved wholeheartedly. You
want Ed because his attention was almost entirely on you all the time and he adored you. He did
everything for you.”
HARRY: (shrugs) “Don’t we all want that? Does it make me a bad person to want that?”
ELEANOR: “No, but you’re looking for it in the wrong place.”
HARRY: “I know…” (guiltily) “But somehow that hole doesn’t know because it feels better
around him. When I’m with Louis, I feel my heart beat…” (self-deprecating) “I’m screwed, I
know, because he can do none of those things you said. Utterly screwed.”
Risque
SAGA 2: THE PRINCE WHO COULD FLY
Chapter 23: Risque
LOUIS: (just having put on his shirt) “Hey, we’re going out tonight…to a club nearby. Wanna
come with?”
HARRY: (about to leave, ready) “I don’t really, uh, I’m…not really a club person. And drinking
in a club. That gets…messy. I mean, I have a very specific taste in clubs.”
LOUIS: “That so?”
HARRY: “Yeah, I don’t do well in most…I’m too…me…for them. There’s dancing and kissing.
It’s weird. I feel weird.”
LOUIS: “What, don’t tell me you can’t get girls with that pretty face of yours. Don’t blame
yourself too much. It’s a talent. But you should know, Liam’s always an option—he has a crush on
you.”
HARRY: (shocked) “He does?”
LOUIS: (teasing) “He thinks you’re absurdly attractive.”
HARRY: (blurted) “He’s absurdly attractive!” (catches himself) “I mean, fit and hot…for a guy,
for a girl, if a girl were to be saying this. He’s sexy for a girl. Lots of girls would find him sexy.”
LOUIS: “You find him sexy?”
HARRY: “I don’t know…Isn’t he…” (gulp) “What girls would consider sexy?”
LOUIS: (clipped) “Maybe I should tell him you return his affection. After all, all this praise
should go to waste…”
HARRY: “Don’t!” (hands in the air) “Tell him that. Please. It was a mess…Don’t tell him I said
that.”
LOUIS: “Why not?”
HARRY: “He’ll think things.”
LOUIS: “Like what?”
HARRY: “Like things…I just…He’ll misunderstand.”
LOUIS: “What’s to misunderstand about thinking someone is sexy?”
HARRY: “I don’t think that…well, I just…I don’t…”

LOUIS: (bitter) “Whatever.” (huffy) “He’s dumb…by the way…your little man-crush. He’s not
that sharp.”
HARRY: “Don’t be mean.”
LOUIS: “I’m not. I like him but he’s a bimbo so…” (shrugging uselessly, random as an
afterthought) “I’d rather be smart than sexy.”
HARRY: (quipped) “You’re both.”
LOUIS: (hiding his boosted ego) “Yeah, whatever… I can see why you can’t pick up girls. You
suck at flirting.”
HARRY: “Yeah, yeah, I do…” (sighs) “I do, I guess…” (beating himself up) “I’m pretty bad.”
LOUIS: “I should teach you.”
HARRY: (throaty) “You should show me.”
LOUIS: (matter-of-fact) “Uh, yeah, that’s what I said.”
HARRY: “No, you said you should teach me. I don’t want you to teach me. I want the demo.”
(getting really close, voice lower) “I want you to flirt with me, show me how you’d do it…”
(checks him out) “What you’d focus on…” (stops on Louis’ wide eyes) “What you’d
compliment…” (whispered) “Your eyes are so alluring, I can’t help myself.” (even lower) “I can’t
look away.” (bites his lip) “He might be sexy but you’re beautiful.” (purred) “The full package…”
LOUIS: (choked completely) “Well, you’re…uh…” (exhales too loudly) “Doing it…kinda…a
little.”
HARRY: (mock innocent) “Doing what?”
LOUIS: “What you’re supposed to be doing.” (leaning in without noticing) “You know…”
HARRY: (smiling) “I know what? What am I supposed to be doing?”
LOUIS: (coughs) “Make the person think they’re um special, or something.”
HARRY: “You are special.” (winks)
LOUIS: (gaping , at a loss for words, blushing ) “Uh…”
HARRY: (snapping back) “Was that any good? Did I do good?”
LOUIS: (yet to recover) “Uh…”
HARRY: “Is that flirting? Did I do it?”
LOUIS: (distancing in realization) “Yeah, whatever.”
HARRY: (frowns lightly) “So no?”
LOUIS: (blinks away, stepping back, colder) “It was okay… Nothing new. You didn’t invent
flirting so don’t get too cocky. It was way too obvious anyway. Heavy-handed. You came on too
strong. Cheesy. Probably’d freak ‘em out.”
HARRY: (dejected) “Oh…I see…what should I be saying…to be good?”
LOUIS: (getting frustrated) “That you wanna spend time with me, I don’t know.”
HARRY: “I do wanna spend time with you.”
LOUIS: “No, you have to pick the time—you can’t just repeat what I said and expect me to be
impressed.”
HARRY: “You’re not impressed then?”
LOUIS: “I am, a little…” (sees Harry smirk) “Because I didn’t expect shit from you. I didn’t even
think you could string that many sentences together.”
HARRY: “Wish I could show you more since I wasn’t good enough to impress.”
LOUIS: “You can.”
HARRY: (eyes him, tone challenging, smug) “It’d be weird since you’re a boy, you know? You’re
supposed to flirt with girls…” (looks at him intensely) “Not beautiful boys.”
LOUIS: (gulps, lost) “Right. It’s already weird but you could come with us and…” (with difficulty)
“Try it on someone else, if you want.”
HARRY: “I could.”
LOUIS: (shaken, breathy) “Could be fun.”
HARRY: (not even considering it) “Could be.”
LOUIS: “That’s why you should come.”
HARRY: “Maybe some other time.” (walks away) “When my skills are sharper…when I have
figured out how to put together four sentences in a row, instead of three…”
LOUIS: “Aight…” (lingering silently, debating, looking at Harry’s back, groaning internally,
finally) “You were good…”
HARRY: (turns around at the door) “Hmm?”
LOUIS: “It was good, the flirting… Just so you know. I…It was…smooth.” (pocketing his hands,
adds as afterthought, blushing very lightly) “Dimples help.”
HARRY: (smiles wide, dimples out) “Thank you. “Enjoy tonight. Flirt with some ladies for me.”
(leaves)
LOUIS: ( nods to himself, disappointed yet confused) “Sure.”

Rad
Chapter 24: Rad
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 2:35am, Sleep-time]
HARRY: (sleeping when the phone rings, struggles to wake up at first, manages to pick up
eventually) “Hullo?”
LOUIS: (purposely trying to imitate his accent, failing) “Is this Harreh, Harreh Styles?”
HARRY: (rubbing his eyes, yawning) “Yes, this is him.”
LOUIS: “This is he.”
HARRY: “What?”
LOUIS: “Incorrect grammar, Mr. Styles. You have to say this is he.”
HARRY: (confused, sleepy) “What?” (pause) “Who is this?”
LOUIS: “Guess.”
HARRY: “What?”
LOUIS: “Who am I?”
HARRY: “I don’t know. I don’t recognize the number.”
LOUIS: “Because you never asked for it. Pity. We could have been sending nudies by now.”
HARRY: “Nudies?”
LOUIS: “Oh, don’t play innocent, kitten.”
HARRY: “Who is this? What time is it?”
LOUIS: “Two.”
HARRY: “Am?”
LOUIS: (dry) “No, retard, two in the afternoon. Of course, two am. You’re in a bed. What do you
think?”
HARRY: “I don’t know what to think. Why are you calling…what is going on?”
LOUIS: “I wanted to hear your thick voice when you’re rudely woken up. Is this how you sound
wrecked?”
HARRY: “Wrecked? What the hell are you talking about?”
LOUIS: “Oh, swearing. Someone’s annoyed. You sound very sexy, don’t worry. I’d like to get
you there myself.”
HARRY: (screechy) “Who is this?!”
LOUIS: “Your secret admirer, duh.”
HARRY: “My secret what?
LOUIS: “Liam Payne.”
HARRY: “Is this a prank call? I know for a fact it’s not Liam.”
LOUIS: (in between giggles) “It is. It is.”
HARRY: (annoyed) “I’m serious, I have to work tomorrow very early. Do you need anything? I’m
about to hang up.”
LOUIS: “I need you, baby boy.”
HARRY: “Okay, this is annoying. Leave me alone. I’m hanging up. Bye.”
LOUIS: (worried, serious now) “No, Hazza, wait!”
HARRY: (caught off guard by the nickname, almost panicked) “Who the hell is this?!”
LOUIS: “It’s Liam, look!” (passes the phone to Liam) “Talk, dipshit, so he believes me.”
LIAM: “Hi?”
HARRY: (annoyed) “Hello? Is this Liam?”
LIAM: “This is Liam. Who is this?”
HARRY: (snapped awake, jumps on in his bed to a sitting position) “Oh god, this is Liam. What
is—oh no, Louis, no…I’m sorry. I’m mortified.”
LIAM: “Why? What is happening—“ (shuffling heard) “Hey easy…” (Louis jerks the phone away
almost fanatically) “Louis, what are you doing?”
LOUIS: (solemn, all traces of amusement gone, irritated) “Happy now? You got to talk to him.
You can jack off to that tonight since he’s oh-so-perfect…”
HARRY: (pained) “Lou…”
LOUIS: “You called me Lou again…”
HARRY: “Louis…What are you doing? Why are you calling me? How did you even get my
number?”
LOUIS: “Zayn gave it to me.”
HARRY: “Why?”
LOUIS: “I asked him to give it to me. He’s here…and Liam too. You should have come.” (slurry)
“Since Liam was here…I bet if I had told you, you would have come, huh? Since you think he’s so
hot. Well, I didn’t tell you on purpose. Whatever.”
HARRY: “Okay…I really wish you didn’t mention this Liam thing anymore…”
LOUIS: “Same. Why did you have to go and say that? I was liking you before that.” (hiccups)
“Whatever. I’m not jealous.”
HARRY: “Jealous? What are you saying?” (pause) “What do you need—do you need anything?”
LOUIS: “I kinda…need you…” (giggles) “Here.”
HARRY: (sighs) “I don’t have time for this. It’s late, really late.”
LOUIS: “I’m being serious.” (more laughter)
HARRY: “Louis, what have I done to deserve this, dude?”
LOUIS: “Don’t call me, dude, brah.”
HARRY: “Okay, I’m going to go to sleep now, please. Get back to Zay and Liam.”
LOUIS: “No, wait, Harry!”
HARRY: (angered) “What?!”
LOUIS: (all traces of amusement gone) “I’m sorry. I’m a little drunk right now… Zayn wants to
talk to you. Talk to Zayn.”
HARRY: “What? Why—?”
ZAYN: “Harry?”
HARRY: “Why did you give him my number?!”
ZAYN: “I didn’t think. I didn’t know he was going to do this. I thought he needed to tell you
something important…” (sighs) “Sorry about this, man. He’s drunk out of his mind and he’s been
babbling about you all evening, about how you didn’t wanna come. I thought the number would
shut him up. Kinda threw you under the bus there.”
HARRY: “Kinda did, yeah. What is going on? Is he gonna be okay?”
ZAYN: “He’s plastered and out of control. He’s having a bad night. I apologize for that painful
conversation you just had to go through. Don’t worry about Liam, by the way. He’s flattered and
doesn’t care. He’s amused with Louis…Louis…Ugh. I wouldn't have let him speak if I knew he
was that bad.”
HARRY: “S’fine.” (concerned) “Is he okay though?”
ZAYN: “He’s okay for now. He’s just…” (sighs) “…being Louis.”
HARRY: “Okay.” (pause) “I wanna go back to sleep now—”
ZAYN: “I know, hear me out first, okay?”

HARRY: “Sure.”
ZAYN: “We were wondering… I know this is asking for a lot, trust me, I know, and god, I
wouldn’t ask you this if I didn’t have to, but you’re the only one we know with a car and he needs
to be driven home. We can’t walk him because we want to stay a little longer and we can’t have
him take the shuttle because we don’t trust him in this state. He’ll get in trouble immediately. He’s
not coherent—you heard him.”
HARRY: “I’ll come pick him up.” (shuffling out of bed already)
ZAYN: “It’s a lot to ask for but think ab—what?”
HARRY: “I’ll come pick him up with the car, take him home, make sure he’s safe .” (pulling on a
pair of jeans, phone stuck between his ear and shoulder) “Don’t worry.”
ZAYN: “That—that—you’re coming? That was all it took?”
HARRY: “You said he needs to be taken home, right? I have a car. I’ll pick him up. No biggie.
You guys keep partying. I know you’ve been wanting to wind down ever since that argument with
Perrie.”
ZAYN: (in shock) “Dude, we just woke you up in the middle of the night!”
HARRY: “I’ll fall back asleep. It’s not that far anyway. I’ll be there in ten, fifteen. Is that okay?”
ZAYN: “You…okay, sure. Yeah, we’re in the village. We’ll wait in the parking lot. Thanks, man.
You’re… I don’t even know what to say. You’re too kind. He doesn’t deserve it but I’m glad
you’re doing it anyway.”
HARRY: “Don’t say that. It’s an honest mistake. We’ve all been there. I’d do it for any of you
guys.”
ZAYN: (knowingly) “But even more for him.”
HARRY: (throwing on a jacket on top of the t-shirt he was sleeping in) “What do you mean?”
ZAYN: “You have a soft spot for him no matter how much he treats you like crap.”
HARRY: “He doesn’t.” (walking out of the hotel)
LOUIS: (in the background) “I don’t! I treat him like shit because I like him!”
ZAYN: “Sure, I have to go make sure the idiot doesn’t die but I’ll see you soon?”
HARRY: “Keep him safe until I get there please.”

Rescue
Chapter 25: Rescue
[Parking Lot, Walt Disney Village, 2:46am, Pick-Up]
ZAYN: (holding Louis on his feet, Liam on the other side) “That was fast.”
HARRY: “Streets are empty. How is he feeling?” (looks at Louis worriedly) “He doesn’t look too
good.”
LOUIS: (slurred) “Hey, screw you too, okay? You don’t look too good either in your manly, just-
woken up, sex hair…attractiveness…” (afterthought, pouting) “Jerk.”
LIAM: (laughing) “Oh man. Ten out of ten, would listen to that insult-turned-compliment again.”
LOUIS: “It wasn’t a compliment!”
LIAM: (smirking) “Sure. Try again.” (to Harry) “Hey Harry, how are you doing, sexy?”
HARRY: (blushing) “I didn’t say that. Whatever Louis said, I never said. Like ever.”
LOUIS: (stumbles out of Zayn’s arms to push Liam back weakly) “No flirting.”
LIAM: (chuckling, teasing him) “None at all, Loueh? Not even a little bit?”
LOUIS: “None at all.” (mumbled) “He only flirts with me anyway…”
LIAM: (provoking him) “That so? I don’t see him calling you sexy. I’m the sexy one, right,
Harry?”
HARRY: “Uh…”
ZAYN: (warning) “Liam…”
LOUIS: (speechless than fuming) “Piss off.” (shoving him again) “You have a girlfriend.”
LIAM: (pacifying him) “I do. Don’t worry…” (supporting him when Louis stumbles and almost
falls on his ass) “Take it easy.”
LOUIS: (not pulling away, pouting) “I hate you.”
HARRY: (blushing, uncomfortable) “Is he okay?”
ZAYN: (rolling his eyes) “He’s gonna be fine. He’s just being a spoiled brat right now.”
LOUIS: “Am not.” (sticks his tongue out) “Liam is not following the bro code.”
LIAM: (delighted) “How so?”
ZAYN: (stern) “Liam, stop.” (to Louis who’s trying to pinch Liam’s arm) “Enough.”
HARRY: “Are you sure he doesn’t need…I don’t know…”
ZAYN: “An ER?” (annoyed) “No. He just needs to sleep it off so he doesn’t get belligerent.”
LOUIS: (sloppy) “I’ll let you play doctors with me though if you want to, Harry, we can get
undressed and feel each other’s heartbeats…or other parts—”
ZAYN: (interrupting loudly) “Alrighty then, Mr. Creepy-flirt. Let’s not talk so much, or like at all
until you regain your filter.”
LIAM: (trying to hold back his chuckles) “You think you can handle him on your own? Do you
need one of us to come with?”
HARRY: (blushed) “I’ll be fine. You guys enjoy the rest of the night. You have tomorrow off,
right?”
LIAM: “Yeah, boy.”
LOUIS: “I do too!” (mumbled) “I wanna stay…Stay with us, Hazza.” (fluttering his eyelashes
adorably, pouting) “I’ll be good if you stay. I’ll be a good boy.”
ZAYN: “No. You’re going home.” (exasperated) “Are you sure you’ll be fine?”
HARRY: (nodding, approaching to help) “Yeah, no problem…” (to Zayn) “You know it’s not the
first time I deal with this.” (chuckling) “I’ve gotten good now.”
ZAYN: (winces) “I’m sorry to put this on you—“
HARRY: “It’s fine, Z. I promise, I’d rather him be safe—“
LOUIS: (giggly) “Was your girlfriend a sloppy drinker?”
ZAYN: (looking at Harry pointedly, through his teeth) “Girlfriend…”
HARRY: (pained, pleading with his eyes) “Zayn…”
ZAYN: (shaking his head in disapproval) “Yes, his girlfriend drank a lot and cried a whole lot
doing it.”
LOUIS: (makes a face) “Yuck.” (reaches for Harry blindly, latching on to his shirt) “She sounds
horrible.”
HARRY: (touches Louis gently on the side, speaking very softly, his entire composure has
changed to reflect his worry) “Lemme help you up, okay?”
LOUIS: (nods slowly, transfers his weight onto Harry’s open arms) “You’re still a lamo…just so
you know. This doesn’t make me like you any more than I already do…wait…”
LIAM: (laughing) “Oh how can you hate him? Drunk Louis is the best Louis.”
ZAYN: (snorts) “Leave it to Louis to insult the person that got out of bed to save his behind.”
LOUIS: (balancing himself on Harry, both arms around his shoulders, face in his neck, when he
speaks it’s mumbled, lips on Harry’s jaw) “Shut up, Liam. You’re just jelly he doesn’t love you as
much as he loves me…” (rubbing his face against Harry’s jaw) “Stubble, stubble, stubble…I
didn’t know you could grow facial hair!” (gasps) “Manly Harry.”
HARRY: (touches the back of his hair, gently leads his head to rest on his shoulder again)
“Sleepy?”
LOUIS: (nods) “Drunk. So drunk…” (yawns) “Not drunk enough for this.”
LIAM: (amused) “Oh boy. Do you have him? Should we help you to the car?”
HARRY: “No. It’s all good.” (to Louis, clear by his softer and quieter tone, visibly fond) “I’m
going to pick you up now so I can walk you to the car. Is that okay? You can nap there if you
want.”
LOUIS: (giggling) “You can’t pick me up!”
HARRY: “I can if you let me.”
LOUIS: (still incredulous) “Sure then.”
HARRY: “Alright. Ready? Up you go.” (gently scoops him up in his arms so that he’s holding
him bridal style) “You feel as tiny as you look.” (takes some effort but he manages to slowly walk
to the car, much to all their surprise) “Zayn, get the door for me?” (Zayn rushes forward to open
the door of the passenger seat for them with an impressed face on) “Thank you.”
LOUIS: (low, more to himself) “Shit. You’re strong…” (clinging to him) “So strong.”
HARRY: (light, throaty chuckle) “Hercules, remember?”
LOUIS: (chuckled) “How can I forget?”
HARRY: (lowers him down on the seat) “Here we go. Comfortable?” (makes to detach himself but
Louis clings on to his neck, making it impossible to move away from the hug) “Are you okay?”
LOUIS: (bites his lip, looks at Harry, hesitates, leans forward slightly, eyes dazed, on instinct,
before yanking himself back almost viciously against the seat and letting go) “Ye—yeah. I just
need to go home.”
HARRY: (softly) “I’ll take you home. Don’t worry.”
LOUIS: “Thank—“
ZAYN: “We owe you for this.”
HARRY: (moment broken, walks towards the other two) “It’s fine. Don’t mention it. I’ll text you
when we get back to let you know he’s alright.”
ZAYN: “Yeah, do that and Harry…” (pause, lowers his voice) “Don’t do anything you’ll, you
know, regret, all circumstances considered…”
HARRY: “What do you mean?”
ZAYN: (shrugs, looks over at Louis who’s leaning tiredly on the passenger seat, eyes blank ,
blinking lazily) “Nothing. Just advice. In general you know. Don’t push it with him. He’s not
sturdy. He’ll lash out. You don’t wanna be there when that happens.”
Realize
Chapter 26: Realize
[Harry’s Range Rover, West Irlo Bronson Memorial Highway, 3:01am, Driving Home]
LOUIS: (cuddled up in the passenger seat, whiny) “Don’t drive so fast. I’m gonna be sick.”
HARRY: “Sorry, sorry. I’ll slow down.” (looks at Louis worriedly, slows down) “I just wanted to
get you home fast.”
LOUIS: (bitter) “So you can get rid of me?”
HARRY: “No.”
LOUIS: “Dump me in my room and crawl back in bed, forget this ever happened?”
HARRY: “No, it’s not like that at all.”
LOUIS: “How is it like then?”
HARRY: “I thought you’d want to be in bed, perhaps have a glass of water, stay warm, are you
cold? You’re cold? Here.” (wiggles his way out of his jacket and hands it over) “Put it on.”
LOUIS: (shocked) “But…”
HARRY: “I want you warm.” (drapes the jacket on top of him, roughly arranges it with one hand
while the other one is on the wheel) “Better this way?”
LOUIS: “Now you’re just wearing a t-shirt in February, you fool.” (takes the jacket nonetheless,
snuggles it on top of him, pulls his knees up to his chest and under so he’s just a ball covered by
Harry’s big jacket) “It’s nice. I like this jacket. It’s a nice jacket.”
HARRY: “Thank you. I like it too.
LOUIS: “I wanna wear it tomorrow.”
HARRY: (to himself) “If you make it out of bed…”
LOUIS: (pouty) “Can I?”
HARRY: “Sure. Are you warm?”
LOUIS: (smiling) “If I say no, will you give me your t-shirt too?”
HARRY: (chances a sideways glance, grins) “I might.” (face drops back into worry) “Are you
okay? Do you need anything? I might have a water bottle laying around…” (tries to look in the
back seat, struggling) “Lemme see.”
LOUIS: “I’m fine. Don’t worry so much. I’m not gonna die on you—unless you crash the car.
Look in front of you, stupid. Then you say I’m bad at driving.”
HARRY: (snorts) “You are bad. You make yourself carsick. That has to be a new skill.” (Louis
doesn’t respond, Harry looks at him in worry) “Still okay? You want something to eat?”
LOUIS: “No…Was just thinking…”
HARRY: (glancing from the road to Louis every few seconds) “What about?”
LOUIS: (quiet) “You won’t be held accountable even if I do die. No one would blame you…”
(lowered voice, to himself) “…or care. They wouldn’t miss me anyway.”
HARRY: (angry) “Don’t say that!” (softer) “Don’t say that. Are you crazy? Of course, they’d
miss you. We’d miss you. Everyone’d miss you. Don’t talk like that.”
LOUIS: “Would you miss me?”
HARRY: “Of course. Terribly.”
LOUIS: “Are you just saying that because I’m here and you can’t be polite and say otherwise?”
HARRY: “No, Louis. I’m saying that because I mean it. I’d miss you a lot and I’d be devastated.
Please stop talking about this now. It’s nonsense.”
LOUIS: “I’m upsetting you?”
HARRY: “Yeah, you are actually. I don’t like where this is heading.”
LOUIS: “I usually upset you?”
HARRY: “What do you mean?”
LOUIS: “I make you angry…”
HARRY: “Now? I’m not angry. What are you talking about?”
LOUIS: (small, pokes his arms out so he can hug the jacket to himself) “You don’t like me.
They’re right…”
HARRY: “I do like you!”
LOUIS: “You don’t.” (whispered) “It’s okay. I get it.”
HARRY: (turns to face him, serious, honest) “Listen to me…” (grabs his hand, squeezes it) “I do.
Don’t you ever doubt that, okay? I think you’re amazing.”
LOUIS: (blushing, covering the bottom half of his face with the jacket to hide it) “Why does
everyone keep saying that you don’t then?”
HARRY: “‘Cause they all love to talk shit.”
LOUIS: (surprised, in joy) “You swore!”
HARRY: (grinning) “I did. I seem to do that a lot with you.”
LOUIS: “I like it when you swear. It makes you look like a bad boy.”
HARRY: (sarcastic, rolling his eyes) “Which is what I aspire to be, of course…”
LOUIS: “No, you aspire to be an awkward klutz.”
HARRY: (worried) “You think I’m awkward…?”
LOUIS: “You are awkward.”
HARRY: “I don’t want to be…I wish I weren’t…”
LOUIS: “You’re getting awkward now.”
HARRY: “That tends to happen when people point it out. It gets me flustered and I don’t know
how to respond.”
LOUIS: (looking out the window, spacy, shy) “Can I stay with you tonight?”
HARRY: “Hmm?”
LOUIS: (hesitant) “Can I stay with you tonight? I don’t wanna sleep at mine. I don’t feel too well
and I thought you could, I could—“ (frustrated) “I don’t want you to take care of me, or you can if
you want. I wouldn’t mind. I just don’t want you to think you have to.”
HARRY: (serious) “Of course I have to. I’m your friend. As your friend, it’s my responsibility to
make sure nothing happens to you.”
LOUIS: “So you’re doing it because you think you have to?”
HARRY: “Because I don’t want you hurt.”
LOUIS: “Because—“
HARRY: (stern) “Because I won’t let you get hurt. Leave it at that.”
LOUIS: (awkward pause, Louis exhales heavily, his voice shakes when he speaks again) “I’m not
usually this…depressed. You should know. This is rare. I don’t get like this often.” (self-
conscious) “I’m usually very fun and I have fun going out—and I’m fun to be around.” (sad) “It’s
just tonight. I’m just bad tonight. I don’t wanna be home alone…” (groaning) “Ugh, now you have
me rambling—see what you’ve done? I’m losing my cool.”
HARRY: (chuckles) “You are, yeah.”
LOUIS: (pouty) “Piss off.”
HARRY: (still laughing) “I’m kidding.” (smiles at him) “Hey, everyone has off days. You can’t
drink as often as you do and not expect there to be a bad night once in a while.” (Louis nods, still
sad, looking down, another pause) “And yes, you can sleep at mine if you still want to. I’m alone
so you can sleep with me—at mine I mean! Not with me or with me in the same bed if you want
but not like together…in that way…whatever you want.”
LOUIS: (avoiding eye contact) “I don’t mind mind sharing your bed…if you don’t that is.”
HARRY: (quick, awkward) “I don’t.”

LOUIS: “I don’t either.”
HARRY: “Okay, that’s good to know, I think.”
LOUIS: (amused) “For future reference?”
HARRY: (flustered, choked up) “No. I didn’t mean it like that.” (notices Louis is smiling at him
again, can’t help but smile himself, nudges the other boy lightly) “Stop making fun of me.”
(teasing) “Jerk!”
LOUIS: “Am I now?”
HARRY: “Yeah, the worst.”
LOUIS: “But you like me.”
HARRY: “I do.” (dramatic) “Unfortunately.”

Rowdy
Chapter 27: Rowdy
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 3:17am, Definitely Not Sexy Time]
HARRY: (closing the door behind them) “Do you feel sick?”
LOUIS: (can stand on his own, less slurry, shaking his head) “Nah. The thought of alcohol
though…” (pretend shudders, sits on the bed) “I like the room. Lots of posters.”
HARRY: “I tried to make it seem less…hotel-y." (worried) "You won’t have to throw up?”
LOUIS:“Nah…” (hugging himself, pouting) “My tummy hurts though…”
HARRY: “That tends to happen when you drink too much.”
LOUIS: “Wait, you drink too now? You’re an alcoholic smoker? Tell me again why Disney still
loves you.”
HARRY: (stern) “Because I don’t do it on the job. What you did today, that wasn’t okay, Louis.”
LOUIS: (slighted, defensive) “It was my time off. What, am I not supposed to have a life out of
Disney now? A life of my own? Six days of slavery is not enough? I can’t even enjoy a beer.”
HARRY: “Not when you’re in the village.”
LOUIS: (angry) “We live here. The village is all we have. There is no escape!”
HARRY: (raising his voice) “There’s people around, parents—kids! They could have seen you.”
LOUIS: “Heaven forbid they see me out of costume having a beer with my friends.”
HARRY: “A beer? A beer... You were wasted." (notices Louis’ pain, softer) "Louis, these kids,
they look up to us. We’re everything to them. We’re important. We’re role models. Their parents
have paid a ton of money to give them this vacation… Maybe the only vacation they can afford in a
long time. Disney is every kid’s dream. We’re part of that dream. We can’t risk—“
LOUIS: (exploding, standing up, ranting) “They look up to you! You are their hero. You are who
they want to be. And good for them because clearly you’re a better role model.” (emotional)
“Clearly you have your life together and don’t feel the need to embarrass yourself like this. Clearly
you’re happy and well-adjusted and responsible and everything every kid should wanna be.”
(cracking) “I’m sorry I’m not as good at this as you. I’m sorry, okay? I am sorry I can’t be good at
life.” (inches away from Harry) "I'm sorry."
HARRY: “Don’t apologize to me. Apologize to yourself.” (poking him in the chest immaturely)
“You let yourself down.”
LOUIS: “Speaking of down, you can get off that high horse now.” (pushing him back a few steps)
“Lemme get the ladder.”
HARRY: (pushing back, Louis scoffs, dry) “How kind of you.” (walking closer) “And I don’t have
that fantasy life you seem to imagine. I’m not nice and sweet and…well-adapted—“ (Louis
corrects him, ‘adjusted’) “Whatever! In case, you forgot, I’m the one out of the two of us who got
dumped, thrown away like garbage because his—her life would be better without me there—“
LOUIS: (grabbing his shirt, shaking him) “I don’t have a relationship to begin with!”
HARRY: (blurted, holding Louis’ arms but not pushing away) “You don’t want one!”
LOUIS: (strangled) “Because look at what it did to you!”
HARRY: “You don’t know what it did to me!”
LOUIS: “You just told me!”
HARRY: (in disbelief) “What does this have to do with children wanting to be us?!”
LOUIS: “Wanting to be you!” (walking away, turning his back) “I don’t see anyone wanting to be
Hades anytime soon.”
HARRY: “Are you kidding me? Stop pulling the villain card. We both know he is probably the
most popular villain by far and Disney is making tons of money on the villain series—almost as
much as the princess ones. Times have changed. Kids are not the same anymore.”
LOUIS: “Well, if they wanna love villains then they’ll have to understand it’s not all flowers and
teddybears. Sometimes villains have to drink their misery away.”
HARRY: “And sometimes they don’t.”
LOUIS: “Speaking from experience, Styles? Oh, no? Yeah, tell me about it when you’re a villain
sometime.”
HARRY: “You can’t be serious. I don’t need to wear a stupid costume to understand what feeling
bad means." (breaking) "I feel bad every day of my life.”
LOUIS: “It’s not about the stupid costume. You don’t understand. You’re happy. You love it here.
This is where you wanna be. You know nothing of disappointment and self-hatred and regret and
dreams and…”
HARRY: (sarcastic, hurt) “Oh yeah. I know nothing of all those things because I’m not human—“
LOUIS: “You’re half-human!”
HARRY: “Hercules is half-human! I’m more than just this freaking character, Louis. I’m me. I’m
my own person. I’m a person. I’m not a goddamn character. I’m not a one-dimensional, plastic,
cardboard character! I’m human too. And I'm not who all of you...” (struggling) "Imagine me to
be--want me to be! I'm not--I can't--"
LOUIS: “Are you more?" (Harry winces) "Because I’ve never seen you slip out of that persona.”
HARRY: “Because you don’t want me to. You only see me as Hercules. That’s what you want to
see. If you blinked for a second and forgot that it’s just a costume that can be taken away from me
any second, you’d see that I’m as ‘human’ as everybody else.”
LOUIS: (to himself) “I don’t want you to be human. Because humans are breakable. Humans are
sad. Humans can get hurt. Humans are like me.”
HARRY: (in shock) “Lou…” (approaching him, Louis shrugs him off, walks away, turns his back)
LOUIS: “I don’t want you to ever be sad or hurt or anything but happy. Every time I see you,
you’re smiling. It has to stay like that. It has to for the world to work.”
HARRY: "But humans can be happy too and excited and awed and fulfilled and optimistic. All
those things, the good things, they come with the human package too.”
LOUIS: “No…”
HARRY: “Yes.” (grabbing his arm, turning him around, cupping his face) “Yes. Trust me on
this.”
Rusty
Chapter 28: Rusty
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 3:31am, Immediate Continuation]
HARRY: “Yes!” (cupping his face) “Yes. Trust me on this.”
LOUIS: (pulls away) “I can’t. And I can’t let you do this…”
HARRY: “Do what?”
LOUIS: (flips around, grabs Harry’s forearms, yanks his hands back on own his face so Harry is
holding his cheeks again) “This. This soft thing you do.”
HARRY: (caresses his cheeks, cupping his face gently, brings him closer, catiously) “You like the
soft thing?”
LOUIS: “I don’t know. I just know I can’t.”
HARRY: “Can’t what?”
LOUIS: “Trust anyone on anything.”
HARRY: (confused, small) “But why?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “I just can’t…not anymore because it hurts to do that.” (forced smile) “I would
like to not be hurt anymore if I can help it.”
HARRY: (pouting) "But I'm the hero...the hero doesn’t hurt people. That’s the point. The hero
saves the day.”
LOUIS: (smiles sadly) "I know. And I want to...but I literally—“ (struggling for words) “Can’t.”
(to himself, sarcastically) "Shit, I am Meg, aren't I? If I was any more Meg, I’d be singing by
now.”
HARRY: (bold, smiling, pulls him closer, hugs him) “But you let me in...in the end?"
LOUIS: (scoffs) “I also die." (pulls away)
HARRY: (not deterred, hugs him to himself, smiling) "But I save you."
LOUIS: (tries to push back, too weak, frustrated) "You risk your life!"
HARRY: (hugs him tighter, one hand in his hair now) "I save you."
LOUIS: (looks up, sucks on his bottom lips, leans forward, up on his tippy-toes) "You give up
Olympus." (hesitates, torn) “And what for?”
HARRY: (whispered) "For you." (goes in for the kiss)
LOUIS: (pulls away immediately, freaked out) "Such idiocy. (crosses his arms, distances himself)
"Meg dies. She's human. She'll die like all other humans, and then what? What are you going to do
then? What’s the use? You’ll be alone. You could have been immortal! There could have been a
thousand Megs in your life...a million. Megs never run out. There’s always dumb, desperate people
looking for love…“
HARRY: "No, there couldn't have been a million Megs. That’s not the point.” (angry) "There's
just one Meg. Every one is unique. She was one in a million. Don't you get that?"
LOUIS: (frowns) "There's a million Megs. Everyone is a Meg."
HARRY: "You're wrong."
LOUIS: "You're delusional. You’re a kid. You live life like it’s a Disney movie. You think two
people who barely know each other will fall in love and kiss and live happily ever after. None of
that is real. None of that happens. None. Zero. People are replaceable."
HARRY: "You're wrong again. Some people are. Some aren't. Some people you meet once and
once is enough to want to never let them leave again. That’s the point of love.“
LOUIS: “You let her leave.”
HARRY: (confused at first then getting it) “I had no choice. By the time I opened my eyes…”
(sad) “She was on the other side of the world.”
LOUIS: “That’s why there is no point in love. That’s why it’s dumb to say you’ll fight for them.
You cannot fight for people who have given up.”
HARRY: “Those are precisely the people worth fighting for. That’s where you make a
difference!”
LOUIS: “Why? Why do you care about them? They don’t care about themselves! Move on.
Everyone is replaceable. If you left, they'd find another Hercules."
HARRY: "That's true. Because for Disney I'm replaceable. That doesn't bother me. I don’t care
about them. I know for some people in my life, I'm not."
LOUIS: "Maybe I just don't have that then...that second one." (notices Harry is about to interrupt
again) "Don't go all sentimental on me. This has already been bad enough. I don't need you to
quote Disney movies. I don’t need you to play prince.“
HARRY: (blurted) “What makes you so unhappy?”
LOUIS: (sitting on the bed, looking down, thoughtful) “I’m not unhappy…not all the time. I’m not
depressed if that’s what you think. That’s what they all think because they wanna label me so that
they might understand. If I’m depressed then I have an excuse. They’ll say, ‘Oh he’s just
depressed. Nothing you can do there.’ They don’t have to face the fact that maybe…”
HARRY: “Maybe what?”
LOUIS: (sighing) “Maybe I’m just lost.”
HARRY: “It’s okay to be lost.” (sits beside him, looks at him, concerned, biting his lip) “I’m lost
all the time. That doesn’t make you unhappy. Other things do…”
LOUIS: (another shrug) “I don’t know really…Disappointments. Plans that fall through. I really
wanted certain things in my life…things that I don’t have. Perhaps will never have. You’re always
so idealistic when you’re in college. You think you’ll change the world. Everyone thinks that.
They’re all so ready to go out there and tell people how it’s supposed to be done.” (chuckles
bitterly) “Then you end up working some menial job and no one gives a rat’s ass about what you
think is right or wrong.” (crosses his legs on the bed) “Mother says that there’s no room for
philosophy in practicality. You know what that means?”
HARRY: “Not every job requires thinking. Some are made worse from it.”
LOUIS: (impressed) “Exactly. Yeah.” (thoughtful) “I do too much thinking. I know you do too.”
HARRY: “What things did you want back then?”
LOUIS: “Broadway. A house. A dog…” (snorts) “A steady girlfriend. Love. Success. Those kinds
of things. The abstract things that everyone wants.” (dramatic, mocking) “Fullfilment and
happiness and farting unicorns.”
HARRY: (laughs genuinely, Louis smiles at him) “Well, Disney is kinda like Broadway. I mean
just pretend you’ve been starred in a Disney musical, like the Lion King.” (excite) “Remember
when you did Scar for a week? For that Halloween event? I remember…” (shyer) “But you didn’t
even know I existed back then…” (snorts, blushes, fidgets) “It was towards the beginning. I hadn’t
really…talked to you yet.”
LOUIS: (makes a face) “‘Course I knew you existed. I knew you existed since day one when you
came in wearing that stupid formal bow-tie and that blue blazer with that even stupider red
handkerchief in your pocket. Who does that, by the way? (Harry shrugs, blushing adorably, Louis
smiles to himself) You came in smiling so big, your dimples seemed permanently glued to your
cheeks and you shook everyone’s hand and I thought to myself…” (clear Harry’s holding his
breath, Louis smirks) “What a stinking idiot this kid must be.”
HARRY: (bursts out laughing) “Sounds about accurate. Don’t romanticize it too much now.”
LOUIS: (satisfied, at ease) “Oh, I won’t. No need. It was already so romantic. ”
HARRY: (playing with sheets, looking down) “You didn’t shake my hand. You didn’t even tell me
your name… You just walked out on me without as much as a second glance and I thought to
myself…” (grinning) “My god, I wish I were that cool.”
LOUIS: (laughing, incredulous) “What?!”
HARRY: (can’t keep the stupid smile of his face at seeing Louis happy) “I’m serious! I’m not
lying! I was in awe. Louis magic, Liam called it—Liam, by the way, who is not that sexy so stop
spreading that rumor…” (Louis chuckles) “Yeah, well, like I was saying…” (blushing, scratching
the back of his neck) “I kinda worshipped you a little in the beginning.”
LOUIS: “You’re telling me you don’t anymore?”
HARRY: “Well…” (grinning) “Not as much…” (quiet, wary of how he’ll be received) “Ever since
I found out you were a tool. The bad boy appeal wears off a little when you abuse someone all the
time…”
LOUIS: (amused) “You thought I was a bad boy?”

HARRY: (relieved) “Yeah…You are a bad boy. You’re the worst influence in the world. How did
Disney even hire you?”
LOUIS: “I look good on paper.”
HARRY: (low, to himself) “You look good period.”
LOUIS: (interested, pushing him) “Liam good?”
HARRY: (blushing upon realization he’s said it out loud, mumbled) “That wouldn’t do you
justice…”
LOUIS: (snorts, smacks him on the thigh innocently) “Look at you practicing your flirting…”
(Harry chuckles nervously, eyeing Louis’ hand) “What’s with the sudden insisting? You have a girl
in sight? Are you testing all your best lines on me?”
HARRY: “Surely.” (stands up awkwardly, fidgets with his pants, Louis is too busy reading the
‘Shit Happens’ poster to notice) “You want a change of clothes?”
LOUIS: “A T-shirt’s fine. I’ll sleep in my boxers.”,
HARRY: (makes a panicked face at the wall, voice squeaky) “Okay. Yeah. But I’m warning
you…it gets chilly. You sure you don’t want sweats?”
LOUIS: “Who sleeps in sweats?”
HARRY: “I do…” (to himself) “Or will from now on…”(walks tensely to the dresser, picks out a
t-shirt out and hands it to Louis) “Will this work?”
LOUIS: (takes it from Harry, looks at the shirt spread out in his hands) “An Avengers shirt? Nice.
But did you have to vandalize the collar?”
HARRY: “I don’t like it when it’s that tight around my neck…I like low cut shirts.”
LOUIS: “I’ve noticed. You roll up your sleeves too? I love doing that.”
HARRY: “I know…I got it from you…” (flushing, looking down) “I thought it looked cool.”
LOUIS: “Stealing my style now, Styles? You gonna start cuffing your pants too?”
HARRY: “Nah…” (fidgeting with his hair) “I can’t pull that off.” (without thinking) “Besides, I’d
rather cuff you.”
LOUIS: (lowers the shirt to reveal his face in slow motion, mouth open) “Touchdown. That was
me smooth.”
HARRY: (palms his face in embarrassment) “Oh dear god…” (walks quickly towards the closet to
change but mostly hide)
LOUIS: (takes off his pants) “But I can pull it off? It looks good on me?”
HARRY: (trying to look anywhere but at Louis as he strips, awkward) “Yeah…everything looks
good on you. I mean, you just, I just like your style…you’re very stylish. It’s cool.”
LOUIS: (throws on Harry’s t-shirt on top of his boxers, it’s big on him, way too much of his
collarbone showing, as well as the tattoo on his chest) “Do I look good right now?” (walking to
stand in front of him, only slightly stumbling on the way, blocks the closet so that Harry has to look
down at him, taunting) “Is black my color?”
HARRY: (gulps, eyes focused on Louis’ bare neck, bites his lip) “Yeah. I love the tattoo. Did it
hurt?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “You have tats on your chest so what’s with the lame, cliche question?”
HARRY: “Didn’t know what else to say.”
LOUIS: (smirking, walking away again) “Tell me I look better in your clothes.”
HARRY: (flushed, tone thicker, more breathy) “You look much better in my clothes.“ (looks down
at the slight bump on his crotch) “Much better.”
Rage
Chapter 29: Rage
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 2:31pm, A Rude Awakening]
LIAM: (knocking loudly on the door) “Open this door!”
LOUIS: (snuggling further in bed, sleepy) “No.”
LIAM: “Louis Tomlinson, open this door right now or I swear…”
LOUIS: “No. It’s my day off. I get to sleep in. That’s the point of having a day off. Go away,
Disney. You won’t enslave my soul today.”
LIAM: “Jesus Christ, the drama…” (leaves to ask for the key card, gone for around seven minutes,
returns with a card, door slides open, walks in, looking frustrated) “I’m going to kill you, you
know?” (pulls on the covers) “Get up.”
LOUIS: (jumps up, startled) “What?! How did you—?” (looks around lost) “How did that
happen?” (squints) “Are you real?”
LIAM: (rolls his eyes) “I asked the lobby for a card." (waves the card in the air) "I told them you
were dying because you very well could have been dead in here. It's three. Niall has been calling
you since nine. Radio silence, hence, I was assigned the rescue mission. Your room was empty.
You didn't pick up your phone. Harry was gone. We didn't know what the hell happened to you. A
text would have been nice if you weren’t too busy doing whatev—” (stalling, looking around the
room slowly) “Wait…” (stops, stares at Louis silently then smirks) “Don’t tell me.”
LOUIS: (still sleepy, confused) “Don’t tell you what?”
LIAM: (getting louder, boyish) “Do not even—no!” (touches his temples, having a fangirl attack)
“Don’t tell me this! This is gold. I have discovered a gold mine. I’m rich. I am a rich man. I don’t
need to be Tigger anymore. I can retire. I am retiring in my richness. You have made me rich.”
LOUIS: (laying back down, yawning) “What are you talking about?”
LIAM: (smug) “You, you, Louis Tomlinson, that’s you…you boned Harry Styles. And from the
looks of it, he must have been good to have you this exhausted. Oh boy—”
LOUIS: (jumps back up at break-neck speed, very loudly, completely blind-sighted) “What the fu
—?!”
LIAM: (excited) “You slept with Styles. Who even saw that coming?”
LOUIS: “What the shit are you saying? You think I—“ (alarmed) “Wait, you think I…I…”
(horrified) “No! No! I didn’t. What the hell? No. Why would you think that?”
LIAM: (giddy, counting the things on his fingers) “Well, you’re sitting on his bed, wearing his t-
shirt, which by the way is slipping down your shoulder and looks torn open at the collar—“
(wriggles his eyebrows) “Styles getting nippy, huh?” (to himself, nodding, pacing around) “I knew
he was a freak in bed…I mean all that pent up frustration from having to be so quiet has to come
out somewhere. Was he loud?”
LOUIS: “No!”
LIAM: “Silent then. Silent but intense. I could have guessed that too.”
LOUIS: (growling viciously) “Liam!” (flustered) “He cuts the collars of all his shirts. He doesn’t
like them close to his neck--It’s not what you think—he didn't even try—I didn’t…I would never.
Why would you think…“ (struggling, panicking) “Why would you even…I would never…”
LIAM: (rambling, ignoring him, more excited about the gossip) “Did he mark you? Did he give
you hickeys? Zayn says he gets territorial as hell…Are you marked? Will he be mad if I touch
you? Can I purposely make him mad?”
LOUIS: (scrunching his shoulders to hide his neck) “What?! No. Mark me? No. We’re not like
that. None of that happened. We’re friends. We’re not even friends. We’re not doing stuff.”
LIAM: “Dude, you’re hugging the shit out of his jacket. Your hair’s a mess. Your mouth’s a mess.
You have that satisfied post-coitus look on your face…Need I go on? I’ve been there before. I
know the signs.”
LOUIS: (fully awake, eyes darting to all the places that Liam pointed out, blushing upon realizing
his hands are indeed gripping Harry’s jacket) “He gave me his jacket yesterday because I was cold
and this morning, when he left, I asked for it because it got chilly.”
LIAM: “That’s adorable, Lou-Lou. You finally found your Prince Charming”
LOUIS: (angrier, more flustered) “Prince charming? What? No. What the hell?”
LIAM: “Did he sweep you off your feet, oh wait, he did, quite literally. I remember now! He
picked you up and carried you to his charriot—“
LOUIS: (serious, shaking) “Liam, stop. Quit it. Stop.”
LIAM: “And drove you home where he humped the shit out of you—or did you top?”
LOUIS: (furious, screaming) “Liam, shut the fuck up!”
LIAM: (stunned) “I—”
LOUIS: (screaming) “Stop!” (lowering his voice) “Stop. You’re making me so uncomfortable. It
isn’t funny. Stop with this gay bullshit. It’s not funny.”
LIAM: (serious now) “I wasn’t judging you. I don’t care, Louis…I don’t care if you’re gay or not
—”
LOUIS: (snappy) “I’m not.”
LIAM: (winces, cautiously) “You might be bi—”
LOUIS: “No. I’m not a poof. And he’s definitely not my Prince Charming because there is no such
thing as a gay Prince Charming.” (bitter, to himself) “It doesn’t work like that.”
LIAM: (stern) “It’s okay to be gay.“

LOUIS: “Yes, that’s true. But I’m not. At all. I’m 100% not gay. I’ll never be gay…Especially not
for him.”
LIAM: “You’re not gay for someone. You’re gay for yourself.”
LOUIS: “Well, I’m not. I’m not gay for anyone. Don’t go spreading that around. I don’t want
people thinking I like him because I don’t.”
LIAM: “I wasn’t going to. It was a joke…I thought…I assumed because it doesn’t matter. I’d have
done the same thing if it was a girl’s room, I found you in…Just more shocking because it’s Styles
and he’s shy and reserved and your unofficial arch nemesis.”
LOUIS: (upset) “He’s just another follower and even if he liked me…” (stalling, noticing, hating
himself for it) “It wouldn’t go anywhere because I'm not. I can’t—I won’t—I don’t…like him, like
that, at all. I’m not gay at all.” (desperate) “I don’t understand why you’d think that even." (clearly
having a crisis, saying things he doesn't mean to convince himself) “I don’t want him. I don’t even
wanna be friends with him. I just felt bad. He had no one. That’s the only reason I’m here.”
LIAM: (concerned) “Yesterday, you were saying he was cool and you enjoyed spending time with
him—“
LOUIS: (in denial, rapid speaking) “I don’t. I don’t. I don’t.”
LIAM: (gentle, sympathetic) “What happened? You guys have a fight?”
LOUIS: “Nothing. Nothing happened. Yesterday was nothing. Nothing’s gotten into me. This is
who I am. This is how I’ve always been. I’ve always been an ass. I’ll always be an ass, to you, to
him, to everyone. I can’t be a…” (choked up) “A good guy. I try but I can’t.”
LIAM: “I don’t understand…You were doing fine. You seemed happy. Harry seemed happy.“
LOUIS: (winces at the mention of Harry's name) “Leave me alone. Just get out. I don’t wanna talk
anymore.”
LIAM: “Louis, I’m trying to help.”
LOUIS: “I don’t want your help…” (closed off completely) “Leave me alone. Just leave.”
LIAM: “Okay, alright, I’ll leave. Okay…I’ll let you get out of bed and get dressed and stuff…”
(walking away, still looking worried) “Call me, when you need me, when you’re ready.” (walks
out, closes the door gently behind him)
LOUIS: (to himself) “I’m not gay…” (tears form in his eyes, he wipes them away before they even
leave his eyes) “Shit…No…”(throws Harry’s jacket on the floor, puts his face in his hands) “You
idiot. You screw-up. Dumb. Why did I even come here?” (breathing heavily, trying to control
himself) “Calm…calm…calm…I’m freaking out…calm…” (sobs once, catches his breath
immediately, curls back in bed, under the covers) “It’s okay…” (crying, puts his head under the
covers) “It’s okay…” (blankets shake with his sobs but no sound comes out) “Nothing
happened…” (exhale, calmer, dazed) “Nothing happened…nothing happened…” (suddenly flips
the covers, face red and wet, jumps out of bed, grabs the discarded jacket, hugs it to himself, climbs
back under the covers) “It’s okay…Everything’s okay.”
Relief
Chapter 30: Relief
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 3:51pm, Boredom]
LOUIS: (looking tired, sad, has put on Harry’s jacket, presumably because the balcony door is
open, presumably because he has just smoked, picks up his phone, dials) “Come on…”
NIALL: (after a few rings, on the other end) “Hello?”
LOUIS: “Niall, are you working—do you have some time?”
NIALL: “Louis, is that you, bud?”
LOUIS: “Yeah, don’t you have caller ID?” (Niall snorts) “I was wondering…I need to talk to
someone. Are you busy? Am I bothering you?”
NIALL: “No, no, hold on…” (not on the phone) “One second, guys, I’ll be back. Don’t eat all the
fries. Those are mine…I’m watching you…” (back on the phone) “What’s up?”
LOUIS: “Did I interrupt something? I could wait. It’s not that important. It’s whatever, just
another rant.” (self-deprecating) “Another one of my famous rants that go absolutely nowhere and
are absolutely unnecessary…” (sighs) “I’m sorry. You should continue what you were doing.”
NIALL: “I was just getting lunch with Sandy and Josh. It wasn’t awfully interesting.” (Sandy
screams, ‘hey’ in the background) “I mean, it was interesting but I can talk. Talk to me. You sound
upset.”
LOUIS: “I am upset.”
NIALL: “What happened?”
LOUIS: (deep breath) “I…uh…I had a bit of a…" (deep sigh) "A mental breakdown of sorts. Like
an hour ago. I had a moment, a Louis moment, if you will.”
NIALL: “Why? What happened? Are you okay?”
LOUIS: “I went out last night with Liam and Zayn. I drank a lot.”
NIALL: “Okay…Did you throw up?”
LOUIS: “No. But, just…” (shakes his head) “I was wasted.”
NIALL: (concerned) “Are you in the hospital? Is that why we couldn’t find you this morning?
Where are you right now?”
LOUIS: (low voice) “I’m in…Harry’s room…bed…”
NIALL: “Harry’s?”
LOUIS: “I slept over Harry’s…”

NIALL: “Harry who? Harry, you’re obsessed with, Harry?”
LOUIS: (almost a whisper) “Not obsessed with him…but yeah.”
NIALL: “You slept with him?!”
LOUIS: (immediately) “Not with! Not with…just at his place…in bed…with him…but not like
that. Ni, I didn’t. I wouldn’t." (brokenly) “Do you believe me when I say that?”
NIALL: “I do, mate, I do. Relax. Don’t freak out. You always freak out about stuff like this. It’s
weird. Is this why you had the meltdown?”
LOUIS: (nods before realizing that won’t work, low, insecure) “Yeah, sort of, yeah, pretty much.”
NIALL: “What happened? What did Harry say?”
LOUIS: “Not Harry. I'd never lose my shit in front of Harry. He wouldn’t handle it well. It would
upset him.” (softer) “It was Liam. He came looking for me and I…well, he was making all these
jokes about me…sleeping with Harry…” (gulping) “Like really with him, you know? I kinda lost
it. I couldn’t help it. I got so riled up and I don’t know. I was…I don’t know.”
NIALL: “You were what, Lou?”
LOUIS: “Angry, mad, confused, scared. Very scared. I don’t know why. I was full blown
panicking and I have no idea why. I don't know what happened. I sort of blacked out, started
screaming. I didn’t want him to tell.”
NIALL: “Tell who what?”
LOUIS: “Everyone…that I slept with Harry. I don’t want people to know. They’ll think what Liam
thought, that we slept together like we really slept together and touched each other and…and…
other…” (whispered, half-hearted) “Gross things…”
NIALL: “Louis, you’re bursting a blood vessel for no reason here. No one cares. You guys
crashed in the same room. Whatever. We’ve all done that at some point or another. Harry sleeps at
Zayn’s half the time and no bothers to care.” (Louis raises his eyebrows at that before frowning)
“And Liam won’t tell if you don’t want him too. Don’t stress over it. Don't worry so much.”
LOUIS: (biting his lip) “Right, yeah, right. Of course. It was dumb. The entire thing. I
overreacted.”
NIALL: “Why are you still at his place?”
LOUIS: “I can’t leave.”
NIALL: “What do you mean? You’re locked in? But it’s a hotel.”
LOUIS: “No. I just can’t get myself to leave somehow. I can’t move from this bed.”
NIALL: “Dude, are you that hungover that you can’t crawl out of bed?” (chuckles) “How much
did you have, an entire keg?”
LOUIS: “A lot but no, it’s not even that. I just like it here. I like his bed…” (looking at the room)
“It’s different, his room. He’s made it better, warmer, nicer…It doesn’t look like a hotel room
anymore, like at all. He has a couch and his own paintings, posters…a DVD player. And his sheets
are blue and there’s a cactus that he is miserable at keeping alive. He’s named it Ben but I think it
should be named Landon. His room looks like a home. I like that. I don’t like my room. I hate my
room. It depresses me, that room, the emptiness of it…so I don’t wanna go back. Is that bad?”
NIALL: “No, I don’t think so. It’s—I actually understand. It’s tough, living here, in the hotels, not
having a house of your own, not knowing when you will finally settle down, when they'll fire you,
when you'll be too old, too used up, too unattractive. It’s tough being away from family, friends,
well, everyone. We only have each other. Guests come and go and we’re just left here, day in, day
out. It takes a toll on you. And finding a special place is necessary…but having that be someone
else’s room might make things tricky.”
LOUIS: “That’s what I hate about this job. I hate it really, but it’s strange…”
NIALL: “What’s strange?”
LOUIS: “He likes it. Harry. He loves it. You should see him with kids. He’s so obnoxiously
happy. He’s everything those kids want. He loves them and they love him back." (smiles
unconsciously) "He’s happy here and it’s nice to be around that. I’ve missed seeing happy people
—truly happy people—like bright-eyed, big smiles, sunny-side, happy people. He almost makes
me like it a little more. Do you get it? Am I making sense? Am I getting too sentimental over a
barrel of bull? I do get plenty sentimental after these severe mood plummets. To compensate, I
suppose...”
NIALL: “You do but it’s awesome to see. You never get like this anymore. I thought you left that
back in Juilliard. I’m glad he helps you. I’m glad he’s making it better… We’ve, uh, been pretty
worried, man. You haven’t been yourself this past month. I mean, you’ve always been kinda sassy
and sarcastic and generally angry at the world but this is an all new low even for you. We don’t
like seeing you this upset. We don't want to lose you.”
LOUIS: “Yeah…I know…I’ve had a bad month—bad life—“ (forced chuckle) “Don’t worry too
much about me though. It’s getting better. I swear. It was passing, the whole miserable thing. I’m
not depressed or anything. It’s not like that. I’ve just had way too much free time to overthink
everything--my life, the decisions I'm making..." (lower) "My lack of love life. I need a hobby…”
NIALL: “Stay with him if he makes you happy. I know you by now and I know you’ll try and
push him away the minute you realize you want him there. Maybe that’s happening already. But
try not to do that. Try, for your sake, for his sake, to enjoy it in the present, not obsess over the
future. Try. Will you try?”
LOUIS: (whispering, sad) “If I enjoy it then it’ll hurt even more when I have to let go. And I'll
have to let go. I'll have to let him go. I just know it. Because he doesn’t belong in my world."
(snorts) "In the best way possible.” (sighs) “Thank you though. For picking up.”
NIALL: “You’re welcome. Now go back to cuddling his sheets and making them filthy with your
alcoholic sweat.”
LOUIS: “Ha. Will do. Perhaps buy some porn and jack off on top of them too." (chuckles) "I’ll see
you soon, Nialler. Give dem bitches some Woody.”
NIALL: “Ew, no, please, never say that again. That sounds so wrong. Those bitches are children.”
LOUIS: (laughing out loud) “Alright, cowboy.” (hangs up, lays back down,a few minutes go by
where he is just staring at the ceiling, slowly a smile makes its way onto his face, picks up the
phone again, dials a number, waits)
HARRY: (voicemail) “Hey, this is Harry Styles. I’m probably at work right now but leave a
message and I’ll call you back as soon as I can, pinky promise. If I don't forget that is...which I
probably will, most likely, so you know what just--just try and call again later, if you don't mind, if
you have time, if you really need me. Okay bye. Sorry. Try calling late so I'm done with work, but
not too late. I sleep early…because I’m lame.” (nervous chuckle) “Uh, why did I even say that?”
(heavy sigh) “Call me back. I’ll be waiting.”
LOUIS: (rolling his eyes at the voicemail) “Has anyone told you how insanely awkward you are
even over phone? Well, let me be the first..." (brief pause) "Um, I’m still at your place… I know
you’re at work but I was wondering if you wanted to…” (winces, changes his mind) “If you could
get me a pack of cigs on the way back. I'm out—how much did I smoke last night?” (strained)
“Last night, yeah, about that…I’m glad you did all that hero saving bullshit stuff…So thanks for
that and for not kicking me out today when you left.” (another painful pause) “I’ll be waiting here
for you—and the cigarettes—cool, come back soon. I mean survive the hell-hole that is Disney.”
(scoffing) “God this sounds like something Eleanor would say, well not that last part, but the entire
thing in general…so bubbly and yuck. God awful…sorry, no way to delete these I suppose so there
you have it.”
Little
Chapter 31: Little
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 5:34pm, Mischief Managed?]
ELEANOR: (knocking on the door) “Harry? Are you home? You have disappeared on us.”
LOUIS: (typing on his phone, hears Eleanor, jumps up from the bed to stand uselessly, not making
a move towards the door) “Shit…” (starts pacing up and down the room, lost on what to do) “Shit.
The wicked witch of the west.”
ELEANOR: (dramatically) “Did you die in there? I thought we were going get lunch today. You
told me you needed to tell me stuff. I have arrived to hear stuff, Harry. I expect greatness.”
LOUIS: (suddenly furious, to himself) “This damned morning.” (pulling at his hair, cursing, more
frantic pacing, checks the pack of cigarettes, remembers it's empty, throws it against the wall)
“Cursed…Just cursed.” (looks at the door, bites his lip)
ELEANOR: (in a song-a-song voice) “Hazza-baby?”
LOUIS: (makes a face, mocking) “Hazza baby?” (all of a sudden determined, no longer hesitating,
ruffles his hair violently, looks at himself in the mirror, before ruffling it some more across his
eyes) “I’ll show you Hazza-baby.” (walks towards the door, smirking, midway through the
journey, stops at the couch, throws all of Harry’s clothes on the floor, pulls the ripped t-shirt to
expose his shoulder and collarbone, wipes aggressively at his lips to get the skin to redden slightly,
opens the door, putting on an exhausted front) “Don’t you people ever quit?”
ELEANOR: (before the door has fully opened, excited) “Harry!”
LOUIS: (fake sleepy voice) “Harry works on Wednesdays.”
ELEANOR: (visibly stunned) “Louis?”
LOUIS: “Yeah, hi. He’s not home. He always works Wednesdays. Fridays are his days off or
Tuesday mornings.” (pretends to close the door) “Come back later.”
ELEANOR: (holds it open) “Wait, wait!”
LOUIS: (smiles to himself before squinting again) “Yeah?”
ELEANOR: “What…are you doing here?”
LOUIS: (looks back as if to double check on the room) “The plan was to sleep my life away since I
have the day off but if you want to ruin that for me, sure, go ahead. Aren't you supposed to be
working? Do you have the hotel shift today?”
ELEANOR: “You’re in…you’re in…” (looks at the room number on the door, looks back at him,
mouth open) “You’re in Harry’s room?”
LOUIS: “Yeah.”
ELEANOR: “Why are you in Harry’s room?”
LOUIS: “I slept here.”
ELEANOR: (absolutely bewildered) “Bu—but why?”
LOUIS: “Because I wanted to.”
ELEANOR: (speechless) ”Oh.”
LOUIS: (fakes a yawn) “Wanna come in? I’m sick of standing.”
ELEANOR: (nods) “Uh…Is Harry home?” (follows him inside, slowly taking in the entire room,
clothes on the floor, bed unmade, trying to ease the tension) “Messy here…considering he usually
cleans up…”
LOUIS: “He went to work this morning. Has yet to come back.” (slumping back down on the bed)
“How long will this take? You know I don’t do small talk when hungover…or ever.”
ELEANOR: “You slept on the bed with him?”
LOUIS: “Yeah.” (trying hard to hide his smile by squishing his face on the pillow) “He took up
the entire space—not fun—and slept diagonally. Again, not fun. He likes to cuddle. What kind of
man likes to cuddle?”
ELEANOR: (sitting on the chair, purposely avoiding the bed, still shell-shocked) “Wow. Did you,
guys… I didn’t know you guys were close friends or sleep-in-the-same bed friends…” (coughing)
"This is a tad strange. I thought you said you didn’t like hi—”
LOUIS: (annoyed but keeps his composure, shrugging) “I do. I like him just fine.” (forceful) “I
think he’s great, okay? I like him way more than I ever liked you.” (snappy) “Can I sleep now? As
in, can I please not talk to you anymore?”
ELEANOR: (tucking her hair behind her ear, cautiously) “Are you not gonna tell me what
happened? Isn’t this pretty big?” (awkward) “I mean…this is pretty big…sleeping in the same
bed…no underwear…you know, things…”
LOUIS: (sees he has screwed himself up because Eleanor is not upset) “Nothing happened. I went
out. Got drunk. Called him. He picked me up. I didn’t wanna go back home. He let me stay. I
never left. Nothing, really.”
ELEANOR: “So nothing, you know, um, nothing interesting?”
LOUIS: (shrugging then smirking) “You jealous?”
ELEANOR: (raises an eyebrow, confused) “Why would I be?”
LOUIS: “Cause you wish you were in my place right now.”
ELEANOR: “What does being in your place entail? You said you did nothing?”
LOUIS: (explosive) “So you do wanna sleep him? You're dying to really. I call that kind of thirst,
camel thirst.”
ELEANOR: (put off, annoyed) “Well, I slept with you so my standards can’t go any lower unless,
of course, I start considering sleeping with Liam while he is in his Tigger costume.” (to herself)
“That wouldn’t be half bad…” (chuckles) “I mean lots of padding, right?
LOUIS: (not having it, stung) “I don’t remember you complaining when you asked me to…”
(moans loudly) “Fuck you harder.” (moans again)
ELEANOR: (flustered) “Asshole!”
LOUIS: “You know what they say, if you can’t handle the heat…”
ELEANOR: (ranting, standing up to leave) “Why did I ever sleep with you… Why the hell did I
make this mistake? I knew you’d be like this too, all frat bro and dumb and annoying about it. Ugh.
So much regret. I suppose I hoped you being a huge dick meant you had one too…Mistaken
again.”
LOUIS: (catty) “That’s what all butthurt bitches say--though I must give it to you for not literally
being butthurt. You didn’t let me have that pleasure…yet.”
ELEANOR: (under her breath) “I wouldn’t be too butthurt. I’ve seen bigger things in my toilet
bowl.”
LOUIS: “Let’s test it out then, huh? I’m waiting on you.” (grabs vulgarly at his crotch) “Oh, but
look, it won’t get hard for you anymore…I wonder why. It says, shh, listen closely. It says I’ve
been there before, Louis, and it was a dark, dark place. Please don't put me there again..." (talking
to his boxers) "Don't worry, buddy, the evil witch won't try to kiss you again. Last time, she was a
little too nippy."
ELEANOR: (walking towards the door, insulted) “You’re an absolute pig.”
LOUIS: (smug) “Mhm, sure. Don't cry because you couldn't keep up.”
ELEANOR: “That’s what all the crude bastards say when they know the girl’s faking it.”
LOUIS: “Oh, you’re pulling that card? Classy, Eleanor, classy. My pride suffers really because I
care if the person I’m using is getting any pleasure.”
ELEANOR: “You realize that makes you sound like a despicable human being, right?”
LOUIS: (angry, pointing at the door) “Again, there’s the door. Don’t let it hit you on the way out.
Or do.”
ELEANOR: “You’re just mad I won’t caress your ego like all your cheap hookers.” (blinks
towards his crotch, unfazed, mocking) “Aw, your small pee-pee is probably hiding from shame.
I’m sorry, baby girl. It's not my fault you're little. I mean, compared to Harry’s, you’re probably
tiny.” (smirking) “But then again, I’m sure you noticed that yourself.”
LOUIS: (taken back, jealous) “Is this the real Harry we're talking about, the one I slept with, or the
Harry you fantasize about while touching yourself, the one you think you'll sleep with?”
ELEANOR: (provoking him on purpose) “You think I haven’t seen it?”
LOUIS: (actually angry) “You haven’t.”

ELEANOR: “He said that?” (seeing Louis hesitate, knows she's trapped him) “What did Hazza
say?”
LOUIS: (glaring) “Don’t. Call him that.”
ELEANOR: “Oh, am I infringing your copyright license? Did you patent it? He doesn’t even
know it was you who spread that around—”
LOUIS: (furious) “You’re such a piece of trash, you know that." (snarling) "And a slut.”
(desperate) "And a liar!”
ELEANOR: (looking at her nails) “Yeah, okay. Run your mouth now since you can't do it when
Harry's around. He'd shut you up in a second.”
LOUIS: “He didn’t sleep with you. He’d never sleep with you!”
ELEANOR: “Why, Louis, because he’d rather sleep with you?”
LOUIS: (shocked silent) “Shut up…” (recovering, tone deadly) “Don’t make this a competition,
Eleanor.” (smiling coldly) “Because I’ll crush you.”
ELEANOR: (smiling sadly) “Knowing you, you’ll never have the balls to make a move anyway.”
(opens the door, sighs heavily) “You know, Louis, it’s simple really, no competition involved
whatsoever. No need for childish threats. If he likes you, he won’t like me by default. And vice
versa. The only difference is, I would actually take the opportunity if it ever presented itself. You,
on the other hand, well…” (door slams shut)
LOUIS: (frustrated) “What does that even mean?!” (no response, Louis growls to himself) “You
bitch!”
Lazy
Chapter: 32 Lazy
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 6:24pm, Mischief Managed]
HARRY: (coming back from work, opening the door) “Honey, I'm home!" (both chuckle, walks in
further to spot Louis, lounging on the bed, TV on, in boxers and another one of Harry’s shirts, hair
wet) "Hey, there, how are you feeling? I brought you food, hope you like Chinese. Hope you're not
allergic or something...”
LOUIS: (giddy) “Cigs?”
HARRY: (throws him an unopened pack) “Smoke up.”
LOUIS: (in glee, loud) “Yes!” (cuddles the pack, rolling around in bed, to the cigs) “I suffered
here all day without you, baby…”
HARRY: (stunned, blushing) “Huh?”
LOUIS: “I’m talking to my girlfriend here…don’t cockblock.”
HARRY: (confused, then noticing Louis kissing the cigarette pack) “Oh…”
LOUIS: “Alas, it’s okay. We are together now…”
HARRY: (in the kitchen, teasing) “You raided through the fridge.” (pulls out water bottle before
walking back to the room, notices the new shirt on Louis, raises his eyebrows in appreciation)
“And the closet.” (drinks up, wetting his chin/shirt with a few droplets)
LOUIS: “I took the liberty of—of—“ (distracted by Harry’s show, staring openly) “Took the
liberty of…“
HARRY: (confused, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand) “Huh? I’m joking. I don’t mind.
You found everything alright in the shower?”
LOUIS: (blushing at being caught) "Your shampoo smells of apricots... Why is that a thing
again?"
HARRY: (pouting) "Why would it not be a thing?" (suddenly jumps on the bed with him, Louis
startles and yelps, Harry smirks further at catching Louis off-guard) "You don't like the way my
hair smells?" (cuddles him so Louis is squished against the mattress) "I bet yours smells heavenly
right now. Yum!”
LOUIS: (blushing deeper as Harry hugs him into the bed to smell his hair) "You're so weird."
(half-heartedly, with a smile on his face since Harry can't see) "Get away from me, you weirdo."
HARRY: (pulling back, hovering above him on his hands, Louis laying in between them) “You
smell delicious.”
LOUIS: (chuckling) “Don’t I always?”

HARRY: "You do."
LOUIS: (smirking) "You've smelled me before?"
HARRY: "I'll smell you right now." (lowers down again, buries his nose in his neck) “Let’s
see…”
LOUIS: (frozen, lost on what to do) "What the hell is wrong with you today?! Simon give you a
raise?"
HARRY: (mumbled in Louis' neck) "I took a shot downstairs before coming here to prepare
myself."
LOUIS: (snorts, tickled, eases up) "Stop, you big moron.” (half giggles as Harry nuzzles him
more, making exaggerated sniffing sounds) "Stop it or I’m kneeing you where the sun don’t shine.”
HARRY: “Alright. Alright…” (letting him go, smiling) “You smell like my stuff…I like it." (shy)
"I was excited to come home today because of that voice-mail." (Louis makes a cringing face at
the memory) "I guess I'm still riding the happy train..." (standing up to unpack his bag) "Did you
have food?"
LOUIS: (snapped back awake) “I had ramen. And debated selling my body for a smoke.”
HARRY: (without thinking) “Is that what you’re doing right now too?” (horrified at what he’s
said, scrambling to recover) “I didn’t—god, that was a horrible joke. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it to
sound that way.”
LOUIS: (smirking as he pulls out a cigarette, sticks it in his mouth) “Is that what you want in
return?” (raises his t-shirt to expose his flat stomach and tight boxers) “This?” (amused at how
uncomfortable Harry is getting, squirming, blushing, accidentally dropping his phone on the
ground, leaving it there) “You want my body?”
HARRY: (eyeing the skin, then the boxers, whispered) “Stop…” (snapping his eyes down, picking
up his phone, pretending to be busy, ashamed) “That was too far.”
LOUIS: (low, breathy) “That’s how you flirt properly. Learn, kid. I'm giving you free lessons.”
HARRY: (can’t help but look back) “I don’t want you to…I don’t like when you do that stuff.
Makes me feel like, I don’t know…” (bites his lip, embarrassed) “Like I’m objectifying you. The
male gaze and all.”
LOUIS: (almost offended at the rejection) “Oh shut up, nerd. You take the fun out of everything.”
HARRY: (hurt) “There’s no fun in—”
LOUIS: (interrupting him sharply) “Whatever.” (lowers his shirt again, stands up to walk to the
balcony, blasé) “I was dying for a smoke. Hungover and dying.” (goes outside, barefoot, lights his
cigarette) “And you took so long. It’s like you wanted me to die.”
HARRY: (distanced, uncomfortable) “Well, you could have bought some yourself. The plaza is
only four floors down.”
LOUIS: “I didn’t wanna leave the room.”

HARRY: “Okay.” (walks over with a cigarette of his own, they smoke in awkward silence, Louis
looks down, guilty, backtracking)
LOUIS: “I’m cold.”
HARRY: (without looking at him) “I’ll bring you a hoodie.”
LOUIS: (small) “I want the one you’re wearing.”
HARRY: (confused) “Why?” (Louis shrugs, not meeting his eyes) “Okay.” (puts the cigarette on
the ledge, takes off the oversized hoodie, hands it over to Louis who is stunned) “Here you go.”
(Louis slowly takes it from his hands, still wary, as if it’s going to be ripped away from him any
minute) “Put it on before you catch something.”
LOUIS: (smiles to himself, as he throws on the hoodie, very big on him) “Thanks.” (taunting) “Do
you give everything away this easily?“
HARRY: (shrugs, smoking again) “If people need it more, yeah.”
LOUIS: (pulls the hood up on his wet hair, adjusts the sleeves so his hands are poking out) “You
graduated from Columbia? Wouldn’t have picked you for an Ivy alum.”
HARRY: (chuckles) “Because I’m dumb?” (shakes his head, only in a tight, black t-shirt) “My ex
graduated last year.” (trying to shift topics quickly) "Weren't you in the city as well? For college?
Juilliard, right?"
LOUIS: (not distracted) “The ex that left you?”
HARRY: (rolling his eyes, staring ahead) “Yeah, that one, the one you love asking about…”
LOUIS: “Sue me for being curious… You kept her shirts?”
HARRY: “Yeah, why not? They still function as clothing whether we’re together or not. And as
you can see they’re good for chilly days.”
LOUIS: “What about the baggage?”
HARRY: “I had enough suitcase space to drag a few extra things.”
LOUIS: (amused) “No, moron, the emotional baggage.”
HARRY: “Ah.” (shrugs) “It fades away after a while. You wear the shirt enough and suddenly
you associate it with different things, new memories…” (dazed) “Like right now…” (fond) “You
have it on. When I wear it again, it’ll remind me of you…” (warmly) “And how the blue matches
your eyes…and how I can barely see your hands because it’s so big on you.” (snorts, speaking
more to himself, dreamily) “And how I could get used to this.”
LOUIS: (drawn in) “To what exactly?”
HARRY: “You…wearing my shirts…being here when I get back from work. You in general.”
LOUIS: “Until I go back to being a jerk.”
HARRY: (snorts, looks away, smoking) “Right. Until that happens.”

LOUIS: (cigarette forgotten, smoldering in his fingers, worried) “You know it will happen,
right?”
HARRY: (blowing out smoke) “Oh, inevitably.”
LOUIS: (provoking him) “I’m not normally a nice person.”
HARRY: “That you aren’t.”
LOUIS: “I say mean things.”
HARRY: “Lots of em.”
LOUIS: “I make bad jokes.”
HARRY:“Can’t be worse than mine.”
LOUIS: “You’ll get hurt.”
HARRY: “I’m always hurt. It’s called being sensitive.”
LOUIS: “I’ll hurt you.”
HARRY: “I don’t doubt that one bit.”
LOUIS: “I’ll be an asshole again.”
HARRY: “Aren't you always one?”
LOUIS: “I’ll make you angry.”
HARRY: “I’ll live.”
LOUIS: “I’ll make you hate me.”
HARRY: “You can try.”
LOUIS: “I’ll make you swear.”
HARRY: “Fuck it.”
LOUIS: (smiling happily, speechless) “What’s wrong with you?”
HARRY: (smiles back) “Lots of things.” (they smoke some more, Louis still visibly happy)
LOUIS: (quietly) “I didn’t leave the room because if I left…I couldn’t get back in.” (quickly) “I
like your room. A lot. I didn’t wanna go back to mine.”
HARRY: “Feel free to move in then. I don't mind the company.”
LOUIS: (trying hard not to show how excited he is) “And have to share a bed with you all the
time? Please. I’ll be cuddled to death.”
HARRY: (embarrassed) “Sorry about that. I love…I’m a cuddler. I can’t help it. I didn’t mean to
make you feel uncomfortable. It was an accident.”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “You talk in your sleep too.”
HARRY: “No.”
LOUIS: “You did last night.”
HARRY: “What did I say?”
LOUIS: (suddenly more nervous) “Oh, lots of things.”
LOUIS: (fidgeting with the cigarette, throwing it away) “Like things.”
HARRY: “Tell me.”
LOUIS: “You said…you said…that it felt awesome…to have me there…” (gulping) “Where you
dreaming of your ex?”
HARRY: (smiling, walking back in) “That wasn’t sleep-talking. I was awake and very conscious.”
LOUIS: (standing there, frozen) “Oh.”

Louis
Chapter 33: Louis
[Jellyrolls Bar, Disney Broadwalk, 7 :45 p m, After Work Drinks ]
LIAM: “You think he’s gonna be okay?”
NIALL: “Who? Lou?”
LIAM: “Yeah. He was pretty upset and I feel bad. I didn’t mean to make him angry. I was just
teasing him, you know, getting him a little flustered. I knew nothing had happened. Does he hate
me now?” (melodramatic) “Oh god, it took so long for him to like me too. Now I’ll be like Zayn,
who he finds snippy.”
ZAYN: “Hey!”
LIAM: “Well, you are a little snippy, Zaynie.”
ZAYN: “I’ll snip your tongue off, that’s what I’ll do.”
LIAM: “See? Snippy.”
NIALL: (chuckling) “He does not hate you. He’s not even mad anymore. He’s fine. He gets like
that sometimes, overly sensitive. He was just having a rough morning. I’m sure you can imagine
knowing how bad he got the night before.”
ZAYN: “At some point, he turned towards me, called me ‘Zack’ and genuinely asked if he should
ask Harry to prom. And I was like…Louis you graduated high school fifty-seven years ago. There
is no prom for you.”
LIAM: (laughing, slapping his hand on the table) “I remember that! That was precious. He looked
so cheated, as if he suddenly realized he had lost ten years of his life. Then he got all sulky and
said he never went to one. He’s a mess when he drinks.”
NIALL: “He is…” (sighing) “He is… That’s why I don’t like him drinking. I tell him that, that he
should ease up. But he’s Louis and if he wants to do something, he’ll do it.”
LIAM: “I’m worried about him. I know he gets aggressive when he’s drunk…I mean he almost
knocked that guy out that time just because he made a comment on Louis’ ass, which between us,
is yummy, no homo, just yum…”
ZAYN: (flings his arm away from the table suddenly) “Yuck!”
NIALL: “What?”
ZAYN: “Liam is bathing my arm in drool.”
LIAM: “Am not!”
ZAYN: “Are you sure? You were getting pretty wet over there. We need to call the waiter for one
of those caution slippery signs.” (Niall laughs hysterically)
LIAM: (grumpy) “I said no homo.”
ZAYN: “We’re spared then.” (under his breath) “Besides, I thought I was your man crush.”
LIAM: “What, you’re jealous?”
ZAYN: “I’m man-cheated.”
NIALL: (shaking his head, smiling) “Liam drools over you too, Zayn, I’m certain.”
LIAM: (winking) “You just don’t see because it’s always in the shower.”
ZAYN: “Gross. You’re gross. You’re a vile human being.”
NIALL: “Because someone getting aroused at the sight of you is vile now?”
ZAYN: “Shut it, blondie.” (all laugh) “You were saying about Louis?”
NIALL: “Nothing. He’s always rowdy when he’s smashed.”
LIAM: ”But he wasn’t drunk that morning. He was sober…sober and angry. He’s very…uh…”
ZAYN: “Neurotic, impulsive, insane?”
LIAM: “All of those…but that’s not in a bad way. I mean I rather he wasn’t but that wouldn’t be
Louis because Louis is just like that…”
NIALL: “Yet you can’t help admiring him, gravitating towards him, wanting to befriend him,
have him around despite the snarky comments. And when he’s upset, you want to save him and
hug the crap out of him and tell him it’s all gonna work out even if it means risking a punch or two
in the face.”
LIAM: “Yes. All of that too.” (screeches, palm on his chest) “Oh god! Am I falling for Louis?”
NIALL: (rolling his eyes) “Surely, that’s it. Try giving him a hug next time and he’ll make sure to
fix that by actually having you fall.”
ZAYN: “I can’t see him taking hugs gracefully.”
NIALL: “He doesn’t. Any form of touching really. It repulses him.”
LIAM: “Why though?”
NIALL: (shrugs) “That’s Louis for you. He’s not much of a people’s person.”
LIAM: “Does he let you hug him? I mean you’ve known him for what—”
NIALL: “Years. Louis and I went to Juilliard together. He hated my guts freshman year. That’s
another Lou thing. He’s slow to warm up and usually, his default emotion is dislike.”
ZAYN: “I’ve noticed.”
NIALL: “It’s how he screens people. He’s very…picky. He doesn’t trust others easily.”
LIAM: “He doesn’t trust us at all…like I feel like he doesn’t think much of us. We’re just drinking
buddies. He doesn’t care.”
NIALL: “No, no. Don’t think of it that way. He really likes you guys. He might not show it openly
but if he’s willing to call you and ask to hang out, he likes you.” (looking at their unconvinced
faces) “Trust me. He just doesn’t do that—that sharing his feelings thing. He doesn’t do that often
so sometimes it looks like he doesn’t care. He's not the type of person that would call you when he
needs someone. Well, he called me yesterday, but it took him months to even ask for my number,
just in case he needed to play Halo with someone. And it took him years after that to call me when
he truly needed someone there and wanted me to be that someone. It takes time with him…”
ZAYN: “Because he’s been very hurt in the past…”
NIALL: (sad) “Yeah…yeah. I imagine.”
LIAM: “What happened?”
NIALL: “Not my story to tell.”
LIAM: “Oh, please Niall. We wanna help. This isn’t gossip. I gossip, I know, but I don’t run my
mouth about important stuff. Only who got head in the Alice maze…”
ZAYN: “What Liam means to say is we wanna know so we can understand him better.”
NIALL: (unsure) “I don’t know…He’d not want people to know.”
ZAYN: “Yes, he would. He would love for people to know but he just can’t get himself to talk
about it…to ask others to care about his struggle. He’d rather forget and pretend it didn’t happen.
He’d rather push people away.”
NIALL: (sighs) “That’s because he thinks that everyone will leave him eventually and he finds it
easier to just speed up the process.”
LIAM: (somber) “Who has left to make him think that?”
NIALL: “His father left when he was really young. Louis doesn’t interact with him…ever. Even
his last name, Tomlinson, is that of his step-dad, well, ex-step-dad. His mother divorced the second
man she married too. I don’t know the details. Louis calls it ancient history and never speaks of it
so I don’t know how much losing another dad took a toll on him. He doesn’t speak to his mother’s
new boyfriend. He doesn’t speak to his mother much either. They’re cold towards each other. She
never visited once during the four years he studied in New York. She wasn’t even there for
graduation. He doesn't go home for Christmas and that’s his birthday. He spends his birthdays
alone usually because everyone leaves."
ZAYN: "His birthday's on Christmas? I never knew that.”
NIALL: "Christmas Eve, yeah. We usually get that time off to fly back, that’s why you probably
missed it. Makes it hard for him."
LIAM: "We should do something this year, to celebrate. We should throw him a party!”
NIALL: (smiling) “We can think about it.”

ZAYN: “Must be tough not having a support system.”
NIALL: “Yeah… He’s never had anyone there for him. Probably why he’s so guarded all the
time. It’s difficult for him to believe someone wants to listen to what he has to say if it’s not a joke
or a witty comeback. He says he used to be a loser in high school because he was too shy to talk
and got self-conscious easily. That weighs on him a lot, high school, that’s a very touchy subject.”
LIAM: “Louis was shy? I cannot see that at all. If anything he would be the class loud-mouth. He
pretty much makes the law around Disney—bullies all the other poor cast members into loving
him.”
NIALL: (chuckles) “That’s what I said. He wasn’t though, not always. Everything he’s now, he
wasn’t back then. He wasn’t liked. He wasn’t popular. He wasn’t confident. He was very isolated
really, no friends, no girlfriend, so he gets vulnerable if things bring him back to that time.”
LIAM: “Was he bullied?”
NIALL: “He was…pushed around, I think. Louis hints at that. He says it’s because he was small
and girly-looking. He liked to have his hair long and the older boys would call him a twink and a
poof and a sissy.”
ZAYN: “That bothered him?”
NIALL: “What do you think? He suffered it. He lost his best friend because of it. There used to be
this boy, in high school, childhood friend or something like that. Louis adored him. They were very
close. Stan was the only thing he had growing up.”
LIAM: “What happened?”
NIALL: “He grew up to be a jerk. He pushed Louis away as soon as the rumors about Lou’s
sexuality got bad. It was traumatic, I’m assuming. I don’t know. So traumatic he still doesn’t talk
about the anger he has towards Stan. Whenever he speaks of the falling out, it’s always ‘we grew
apart’ or ‘different friend groups’ or ‘I didn’t want to be friends with him’ or ‘I wouldn’t want to
hang out with me either in high school’. He never admits to how much it devastated him to lose
someone he cared about so deeply. He doesn’t think he has the right to be mad. He’s convinced he
deserved it because he got too attached.”
LIAM: “Did he ever come out?”
NIALL: (sternly) “No. He’s not gay. That thread terminated ages ago. He doesn’t talk about it. He
doesn’t think about it. It’s dead. After Louis quit soccer, he and Stan never spoke again. Lou
started dating his first girlfriend, Hannah, and verbally destroyed everyone that questioned his
sexuality. By senior year, the twink was long gone. Louis grew a beard, cut his hair, changed his
style, dumped Hannah, lost his morals, developed a cutthroat sense of humor and the
transformation was complete.”
LIAM: “Is that when you met him?”
NIALL: “Yeah, I met him after he had become the sassy, confident womanizer he is today.”
ZAYN: (defensive) “So, this thing, this Harry thing, that’s nothing then?”
NIALL: “Yeah. Don’t get me wrong, Louis wants to befriend him. He’s mystified by Harry,
fascinated, has been since Harry’s first day. That much is obvious. But it won’t swing that way…I
don’t think it can.”
LIAM: “Why not? Harry might be everything Louis needs.”
NIALL: (chuckles) “How very Disney of you.” (gets serious) “Louis is emotionally fragile. He
needs someone stable, someone that comforts him until he heals. Even if Louis was gay and okay
with being gay, Harry’d be too overwhelming. Lou’s not ready to face that part of himself and
frankly, I don’t think Harry’s ready to take care of someone like Louis.”
ZAYN: “Someone in denial, you mean?”
NIALL: “Someone hurt. Someone who will lash out when he feels trapped. Someone who’ll let
you hug him one day and not touch him the next. Someone unpredictable. Harry’s too soft for that.
And as much as Louis is selfish, he won’t go for it because he’s scared of breaking him. He’s
terrified that he’ll ruin everything Harry is and, for Louis right now, Harry is a beacon of hope.”
Listen
Chapter 34: Listen
[Harry’s Range Rover, West Irlo Bronson Memorial Highway, 6:41pm, Driving Home]
HARRY: “Um, where do you wanna be dropped off?”
LOUIS: (tired) “The hotel is fine.”
HARRY: "Long day?"
LOUIS: "Very."
HARRY: “Not going out tonight?”
LOUIS: (really down) “No…”
HARRY: “Okay…” (silence) “Is everything okay?”
LOUIS: “Yeah, don’t…” (shakes his head) “Don’t…”
HARRY: “Ask about it? Got it.”
LOUIS: “Yeah…” (quieter, leaning on the seat) “Yeah… Thanks.”
HARRY: (looks at him, concerned, then at the road) “I got this new book…”
HARRY: “Yeah, it’s really interesting. I don’t know if you’d like it actually… It’s a bit of a lame
romance.”
LOUIS: “What about?”
HARRY: “Two kids with cancer…”
LOUIS: “Wow, talk about morbid.”
HARRY: (dry chuckle) “Yeah…but it’s sweet. It makes your heart all warm.”
LOUIS: “Who dies, if not both?”
HARRY: “I won’t tell you that! That’ll ruin the book. You have to read it first.”
LOUIS: (turning to face him, lazy smile on his face) “Must I?”
HARRY: “Well, yeah…” (flushing) “There’s this part…in the book…where the girl gives the guy
a book and he reads it.”
LOUIS: “Whipped.”
HARRY: (noise in between a cough and a chuckle) “Yeah…right…” (deeply embarrassed) “Who
does that…”
LOUIS: “So when are you gonna be done with it?”
HARRY: “What, talking?”
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes) “The stupid book so I can borrow it. I’m not about to waste money on a
cheesy love story that might make me cry.”
HARRY: (happy) “It will.”
LOUIS: “Did you cry?”
HARRY: (shrugs) “A bit.”
LOUIS: (smirking) “Knew it…”
HARRY: “A bit, okay? Just a tear or two. Manly crying. I sniffled, just...a bit of sniffling, you
know?"
LOUIS: (dry, stretching the word) "Right."
HARRY: "I mean, it was sad…” (red in the face) “It’s so heavy…” (Louis snorts) “Hey, you’ll see
when you read it…” (grinning) “You’ll see! You’ll cry too…”
LOUIS: “I won’t.”
HARRY: “Yes, you will.”
LOUIS: “I won’t and to prove it to you, I’ll read it with you there.”
HARRY: “How?”
LOUIS: “I’ll stay over yours tonight.”
HARRY: (practically shaking with excitement) “You’ll sleep over?”
LOUIS: “If you don’t cuddle me.”
HARRY: “Oh, you’ll need to be cuddled when you finish that book.”
LOUIS: “Unlike you, I’m not a cry baby.”
HARRY: “Unlike you, I actually have a heart, Satan.”
LOUIS: (mocking) “Satan, whoa, that’s new.”
HARRY: “Should we stop for food then? I was planning on going out later to eat but since you’re
around…”
LOUIS: “Who were you gonna go with?”
HARRY: (shyly) “No one…”

LOUIS: “Alone?”
HARRY: “I was going to bring it back…eat at home, watching a movie or something. That’s what
I do everyday.”
LOUIS: (notices Harry’s sadness) “We should watch ‘Treasure Planet’. Then I'll read your dumb
book.”
HARRY: “Treasure Planet?”
LOUIS: “Yeah, have you heard of it? I forget you’re still fairly new at this Disney thing.”
HARRY: “Of course, I’ve heard of it--I love it, who doesn't love it?”
LOUIS: (smiles, opening up) “I’ll let you know though…if the book doesn’t do me in, that song
segment of ‘I’m still here’ will…”
HARRY: (laughing lightly) “I literally tear up every single time." (much more comfortable
talking) "Every time...I was about to say no to the movie to avoid that.” (somewhat wary) "Also, I
have to constantly remind myself that they're supposed to have a father-son relationship, the two
mains."
LOUIS: (practically jumps on his seat) "Right?! I know. There is so much sexual tension."
HARRY: (giddy) "Yes! Every time they hug I have to repeat, father-son, father-son, father-son..."
LOUIS: (laughing) "Now I'll be thinking that too. Perfect. Crying and wanting a pirate to molest a
child, what else could this movie do to me?"
HARRY: “You're the masochist that chose it.”
LOUIS: “Says the guy reading cancer books of kids dying.”
HARRY: “It’s good! It’s happy.”
LOUIS: “Until someone bites the dust.”
HARRY: “Yeah, well…”
LOUIS: “So someone does die!” (melodramatic) “You spoiled it. That’s it. I have to hate you
now.”
HARRY: “You practically pushed me towards it. You forced my hand.”
LOUIS: “How do you live with yourself knowing you take the joy out of books?”
HARRY: (gaping) “Come on!” (scoffing) “There is no joy in that book to begin with.”
LOUIS: “I thought you said it was sweet.”
HARRY: “It is until, ugh, just read it, won’t you?”
LOUIS: “Fine.”
HARRY: “Fine.”
LOUIS: “Good.”
HARRY: “Perfect.”
LOUIS: (pops his lips) “Perfect.”
HARRY: “I’ll have you know I’m cooking pasta tonight.”
LOUIS: “I’ll have you know I only eat white sauces.”
HARRY: “Will Alfredo please his majesty?”
LOUIS: (sarcastic) “It will. Thank you for making such huge sacrifices.”
HARRY: “The things I do for you.”
LOUIS: “I know…I mean, the romantic gestures are endless.”
HARRY: (pouting) “Hey, I’m giving you a bed, a meal, a book and Treasure Island. The least you
could do is give me something in return.”
LOUIS: (amused) “Like what?”
HARRY: (cheeky) “A kiss.”
LOUIS: (bursts out laughing) “You slay me. Maybe if you took me on a yacht and fed me caviar
we’d be considering that.”
HARRY: (grumbled) “Spoiled brat.”
LOUIS: “What was that, Styles?”
HARRY: “Nothing. Nothing. Just planning our yacht trip.”
LOUIS: (smug) “That’s what I thought.”

Leaving
Chapter 35: Leaving
Scene 1
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 3:24am, Late Night Reading]
LOUIS: (on the bed, reading, suddenly, lowers the book, glares at the wall, blinking back tears)
“Styles!” (shaking him) “Harry.”
HARRY: (stirring from sleep, mumbled) “Huh—what?”
LOUIS: (harsh whispering) “How could you do this to me?!”
HARRY: (rubbing his eyes, out of it) “Do what?”
LOUIS: “How could you make me read this book?”
HARRY: (looks at the book Louis is clutching with white knuckles) “You’re still doing that?”
LOUIS: “Yes, and this has murdered my soul—I hate you!”
HARRY: (chuckles, head drops back on the pillow) “Come to bed. It’s late.”
LOUIS: “No. I have to finish it.”
HARRY: “Which part?”
LOUIS: “Him being in the car, wanting to buy cigs.”
HARRY: (raises himself on one elbow) “Ah, yeah, that’s the worst of it probably.”
LOUIS: (distraught) “He was so strong at the beginning, so confident—he could do everything—
so much potential.” (almost breathless in rambling) “He had dreams goddammit! I related to him
and now he’s being killed—why did he have to be the one to die? Why? This is so unrealistic. Two
kids with cancer! Why does someone always have to die? Why can’t things just work out, huh?”
(shaking) “I hate this.”
HARRY: (sits up, wraps his arms around Louis’ waist, pulls him close) “You need cuddles.”
LOUIS: (doesn’t resist, grumpy) “I need to finish.”
HARRY: (lays them down, spooning Louis) “Finish then.” (cuddles behind Louis, closes his eyes
again) “But sleep after, okay? Or you’re gonna be exhausted tomorrow. We can complain about
the unfairness of a flame too early snuffed tomorrow.”
LOUIS: “Damn sure we will.”
HARRY: (smiling, eyes closed) “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
LOUIS: (snuggles backwards instinctually, book in front of him) “I still hate you.”
HARRY: (mumbled against Louis’ neck, sleepily) “Told you it was bad.”
Scene 2
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 4:44am, Late Night Regrets]
LOUIS: (lights out, laying down in bed, sniffling, book beside him, nuzzling up to Harry, small)
“Harry…”
HARRY: (asleep) “Hmm?”
LOUIS: “Will I die before I do great things?”
HARRY: (partially opening one eye) “What?”
LOUIS: (pouting, curled in a ball, on his side, facing Harry) “Will I die having achieved nothing
too?”
HARRY: (smiles, cups his face with one hand) “Absolutely not.” (puts a lock of hair behind his
ear) “You’ll do amazing things.”
LOUIS: (gulping, needy) “Yeah?”
HARRY: “Yes. Sleep now."
LOUIS: (pained) "I can't. Can't fall asleep. I'm thinking too much."
HARRY: (sympathetic) "Come here. I'll help you.”
LOUIS: (inches closer in between Harry’s arms, whispered) “Please don’t make me read more
books like this.”
HARRY: (hugging him, gentle) “I’m sorry.” (petting his hair, Louis yawns) “I’ll be more careful
next time.”
LOUIS: (sleepy, mumbled against Harry’s shirt) “No death and no leaving, please.”
HARRY: (against Louis’ hair, protective) “Alright. We won’t talk about those topics again.”
LOUIS: (practically asleep) “Some death. Gory death." (slurred) "Like 300...in the book, he liked
300. We can talk about that death..." (whispered) "No leaving.”
HARRY: (biting his lip, hugging him tighter, emotional) "Leaving is worse than death?" (silence,
Louis is already asleep, Harry sighs)
Scene 3
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 7:24am, Morning Trouble]
HARRY: (sitting on the bed, caressing Louis’ hair gently) “Time to wake up.”
LOUIS: (nuzzles the pillow, smile on his face, spoiled) “No.”
HARRY: (pulls back) “Yes. Or we’ll be late.”

LOUIS: “Why did you stop petting me?”
HARRY: (rolls his eyes) “Because kitty doesn’t wake up when people pet him.”
LOUIS: (cheeky) “You never know.”
HARRY: “I do know. I’ve been petting you for the past thirty minutes.”
LOUIS: (curls his shoulders adorably, snuggles into the bed) “Maybe kitty needs forty.”
HARRY: (amused, fond) “No, you don’t. No more petting if you don’t get up.”
LOUIS: “Dress me.”
HARRY: (groaning) “I have. You’re wearing my hoodie.”
LOUIS: (touches his stomach without opening his eyes, feels the hoodie) “Oh. When did that
happen?”
HARRY: “A while ago. Come now. Up you go.”
LOUIS: “Tea.”
HARRY: “Right here. It’ll get cold if you don’t wake up.”
LOUIS: (raises his head, squints at the mug on the bedside table) “Wow, you’ve really thought of
everything.”
HARRY: “Well, I had a lot of time.”
LOUIS: (slowly makes his way into a sitting position, looks at the hoodie) “How did you get this
on me?”
HARRY: “You were half-asleep. Your pants are right here.”
LOUIS: (flings back the cover) “I have socks on too?”
HARRY: (chuckles, stands up to put his finished cup in the kitchen) “You can sleep a little more in
the car if you put your pants on.”
LOUIS: “Will you piggyback me to the car?”
HARRY: “Finish up in the bathroom within ten minutes and I might consider it.”
LOUIS: (jumps up from the bed, still buttoning his pants) “You’re on, loser.”
Scene 4
LOUIS: “Say it.”
LIAM: “What?”
LOUIS: “Whatever you wanna say, say it. Stop playing with your fries and giving me weird looks.
It’s starting to creep me out.”
LIAM: “I just wanted to ask how you were doing.”
LOUIS: “I’m well.”
LIAM: “You look well.”
LOUIS: “As in?”
LIAM: “You look well. You look happy. It’s unusual. Normally you seem tired and annoyed…I
don’t know if I’m allowed to address that—”
LOUIS: “You are.” (sighs) “Look, Liam, I’m sorry…for what happened back in Harry’s room. I
lost my temper…” (to himself) “My mind really.” (to Liam) “But I don’t want anything to change
between us. God, that sounds gay.” (Liam winces) “I mean, I don’t want you walking on eggshells
when you’re around me, sparing my feelings and all that. You’re my main man. You wanna say
something to me, you say it.”
LIAM: “But I do wanna spare your feelings. I don’t want to push you or make you feel uneasy.”
LOUIS: “You don’t.” (waving his hand) “That was something else.”
LIAM: “You freaked out.”
LOUIS: “I freaked out.”
LIAM: “Why?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “I don’t know. I was tired, caught off guard. I wasn’t expecting to hear any of
that…I was overthinking it…I was confused.”
LIAM: “But it’s better now? You got it figured out?”
LOUIS: “Yeah. Much better. I spoke to Niall… That kid keeps me sane, you have no idea.
Godsend.”(snorts) “But hey…” (serious) “I wanted to ask you something.”
LIAM: “I won’t tell anyone, don’t worry. Niall already gave me that lecture. You can trust me,
Louis. I’m your friend. I’d never betray you. I wish you’d trust me more. I wish you’d tell me
more.”
LOUIS: (confused, guarded) “About?”
LIAM: (stumbling through words) “Anything…everything. I wish I could be there for you
like Niall is. I care too.”
LOUIS: “Niall has been there for years.”
LIAM: “But you had to trust him at some point. It had to start somewhere.”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “I don’t feel comfortable doing it. I’m a solitary type of person.”
LIAM: “You can change that. You can learn to let people in.”
LOUIS: “It’s not that simple. It’s not a choice that I make one day and poof, all of a sudden, I’m a
different me. It doesn’t work like that.” (makes a face) “I’m not that good at this friend thing.
That’s not really my thing.”
LIAM: “Yet you have so many friends. You have Niall and you have me and Zayn and Perrie and
hell, even Eleanor. Despite everything, she’d be there for you if you needed her.”
LOUIS: (self-deprecating snort) “She definitely hates me. And I don't blame her. I treat her pretty
horribly."
LIAM: “You do...But she understands you better than all of us. She has learned to look past your
scathing front. She doesn’t hate you. No one hates you. We all care about you.”
LOUIS: (nods, deep breath) “I had a request of sorts, I wanted you to uh… Don’t mention
anything to Harry about what happened that day—anything I said in that room when I lost it.”
LIAM: “What is happening between you and Harry, Louis?”
LOUIS: “Nothing…” (noticing Liam raises an eyebrow, confessing) “He was there for me at a
really bad time and that has made mea little…” (with difficulty) “Attached. To him, to his
friendship, his presence even. It’s bizarre. I can’t explain it.”
LIAM: “Maybe you don’t hate him after all.”
LOUIS: “I never hated him. I just didn’t understand. I still don’t. Hell, the kid is so freaking
confusing that most of the time I’m lost. He switches from happy child to awkward teen in the
blink of an eye. And yeah, that worries me, not being able to predict him but it’s also exciting.”
LIAM: “He makes you smile. Even talking about him makes you smile.”
LOUIS: (snorting, smiling) “Nah. It’s not that at all…He has that effect on everyone.” (thinking
out loud, spacing out) “When he smiles, he makes you wanna smile back. I love his smile. I love
seeing him smile.”
Scene 5
[Space Mountain, Walt Disney World in Florida, 2:22pm, Sneak Smoking]
HARRY: (poking his thigh, showing off a scar) “Look at it! It’s bad! And it’s your fault.”
LOUIS: “How is it my fault?”
HARRY: “You said we wouldn’t get caught.”
LOUIS: “We didn’t get caught.”
HARRY: “Because I squished the cigarette well into my skin.” (pouting, pointing at the burn
bruise) “Look, it hurts.”
LOUIS: (smacks his hand away) “Don’t touch it then.”
HARRY: “So painful.”
LOUIS: “Oh, get over it.”

HARRY: (blinks with wide eyes) “Ouch. So much ouch.”
LOUIS: “What do you want me to do? Kiss it better?”
HARRY: (cheeky) “That’s one option.”
LOUIS: “Man up, sissy.”
HARRY: “You hurt me and you won’t even make amends. True villain.”
LOUIS: “I didn’t tell you to do that. You can have just thrown it on the floor.”
HARRY: “Then they would have seen and we’d be fired—“
LOUIS: “—Don’t say fired. You said fired. I’m done with you.”
HARRY: “We would have.”
LOUIS: “No, we wouldn’t so stop freaking out. Plus, it makes you look cool. Now you have battle
scars.”
HARRY: “On my upper thigh. Who’s gonna see that?”
LOUIS: (winces) “You’d be surprised." (recovers, loud) "Anyhow, back to work?"
Scene 6
[Harry’s Range Rover, West Irlo Bronson Memorial Highway, 7:23pm, Driving Home]
LOUIS: “I hate that song.”
HARRY: “I like it.”
LOUIS: (dramatic) “Did I ask for your opinion?”
HARRY: “But…you just…”
LOUIS: “Yes, my opinion matters because I control the radio so if I hate a song it has to go.”
HARRY: “Then make it go. You don’t have to announce it. You control the radio like you said.”
LOUIS: “I verbally control the radio. I don’t do all the manual labour. I have peasants for that.”
HARRY: “I’m driving.”
LOUIS: “It takes five seconds to change a station.”
HARRY: “It also takes five seconds to drive off the road into this swamp.”
LOUIS: (smirking) “It takes five seconds to make me happy.”
HARRY: (biting his lip) “You’re being manipulative.”
LOUIS: “No, no…just saying…you know…I’d be happy if this song was not playing.”
HARRY: “Change it.”
LOUIS: “I could change it myself…”
HARRY: “Do it.”
LOUIS: “But—“
HARRY: “Oh for god’s sake.” (switches the station) “There. Be happy.”
LOUIS: (smiling widely) “I am happy. I got my way.”
HARRY: (shaking his head, embarrassed) “I’m not whipped.”
LOUIS: (smug) “I didn’t say you were.”
HARRY: (grumbled) “You were thinking it…”
LOUIS: “I wasn’t. I was thinking you were sweet.”
HARRY: (flushing) “Oh…”
Scene 7
HARRY: “Louis!”
LOUIS: “What?”
HARRY: (pouting) “Why are you leaving without me?”
LOUIS: “We don’t work the same shift today.”
HARRY: “But…but…you don’t wanna walk with me.”
LOUIS: (rolling his eyes) “Overly attached girlfriend.”
HARRY: (stiffening) “I’m just joking.”
LOUIS: “I know.”
HARRY: “I wasn’t really upset. I didn’t really…I was making a joke.”
LOUIS: “I get it. You don’t have to explain jokes to me.”
HARRY: “Just making sure. I’m not really that…clingy.”
LOUIS: “Are you gonna get dressed or what?”
HARRY: “Huh?”
LOUIS: “Do I have to wait forever? Stop being a girl.”

HARRY: “Stop being a sexist.”
LOUIS: “Stop being a social justice warrior.”
HARRY: (sulky) “I’m not. I don’t like when you—“
LOUIS: “If you don’t shut up, I’m leaving you. I’m not in the mood for these political debates
before an imminent twelve hour shift.”
HARRY: “Fine. Leave then.”
LOUIS: (rolling his eyes) “Don’t be difficult.”
HARRY: “Leave, Louis. What’s easier than that? Leaving?”
LOUIS: “Everything. Leaving is the hardest option. You think I’d be here if it was so easy.”
HARRY: “It’s easy. Walk out. You have feet.”
LOUIS: “I have feet, yes, but I also have a brain.”
HARRY: “You don’t need that to walk out.”
LOUIS: “Pity that I have it then.”
HARRY: “Why are you still here?”
LOUIS: “Because you’re not dressed yet! Get dressed so we can go. I can already see this will be a
long day.”
HARRY: “Don’t wait for me.”
LOUIS: “Shut up. Shut up and put your clothes on. I’m waiting. Get over it.”
HARRY: “I don’t want you to wait.”
LOUIS: “You’re being a child and it’s not cute.”
HARRY: (frustrated) “Leave!”
LOUIS: “Fine!” (walks out of the building)
HARRY: (stunned, shaking, weakly) “Fine…” (looks down, upset, under his breath) “Leave
then.” (yanks the clothes on his body angrily before he walks out of the room)
LOUIS: (waiting outside, cigarette in his mouth, arms crossed) “Ready?”
HARRY: (snorting in surprise) “Forgot something?”
LOUIS: “Yes. You.”

Loss
Chapter 36: Loss
[ Flying Fish Cafe , Disney Broadwalk, 7 : 2 5 p m, Agenda-Pushing Dinner ]
ZAYN: “You like wearing his stuff, huh?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “He likes me wearing his stuff. He doesn’t mind. Plus it’s easier than going back
to mine to change.”
ZAYN: “You live two floors up.”
LOUIS: (moaning) “Two floors of stairs…”
ZAYN: "Are you going back to his after this?"
LOUIS: (self-conscious) "Yeah. I told him I would so I will or he might think I’m dead and send
nine million texts.”
ZAYN: “You guys text often?”
LOUIS: “If you count him telling me bad knock, knock jokes and me replying with insults as
texting, then yes, we text all the time. It’s surprising he never runs out of those. I am starting to
doubt their originality…”
ZAYN: “He googles them.”
LOUIS: (fake shocked) “Oh! That liar. Plagiarism.”
ZAYN: “Have you been home this past week?”
LOUIS: “Yeah, kinda, here and there… It’s easier to sleep over. I can make him miserable in the
morning and he can drive me over. And he makes me tea. Win-win, on my side at least.” (cautious)
“He’s annoyed?”
ZAYN: “No. He loves having you there. That’s the issue. I think he’s developing an addiction.
Last time you skipped a day, he said he felt pretty useless. What are you doing to him?”
LOUIS: (snorting) “Never you mind, Zaynie, never you mind.”
ZAYN: “You two are ridiculous.”
LOUIS: “We share clothing. So what?”
ZAYN: “You don’t just share clothing, which in itself is a pretty intimate thing to do.”
LOUIS: “We sleep over. We’re faux-roomies. You and Liam had a little bromance going on as
well. You can’t judge me.”
ZAYN: “Bromance, okay, that’s what we’re going for.”

LOUIS: “That’s what it is.”
ZAYN: “Harry’s marking you. He’s peeing on you.”
LOUIS: (disgusted) “What?”
ZAYN: “He’s marking his territory, sticking a flag, scribbling a signature at the bottom of the
canvas, drawing a line in the sand, surrounding you with barbed wire.” (Louis looks even more lost)
“He’s showing off the fact that he’s close to you now, hence the shirts. If he still had his football
jerseys, I bet you’d be wearing those what with his last name being on the back.”
LOUIS: “That doesn’t sound like him at all.” (Zayn’s about to speak but closes his mouth) “He
played football? With what coordination? He can barely tie his shoes. And he’s so skinny. What
could he have possibly blocked?”
ZAYN: “Oh, you’d be surprised.” (trying to give him a hint) “Harry gets quite possessive when he
wants to, well, in certain contexts.”
LOUIS: “Like sports, you mean? Never in a million years would I have seen this coming.” (to
himself) “Wow…”
ZAYN: (losing his patience) “I meant other contexts, like social contexts.”
LOUIS: (oblivious) “We’re friends at best.”
ZAYN: “Friends at best?” (mumbled) “That’s not what he said.”
LOUIS: (falling for the bait) “What did he say? He said we were what?” (coughing,
uncomfortable) “More than friends?”
ZAYN: “Never you mind, Lou-Lou, never you mind.” (switching topics, much to Louis’
frustration) “How many shirts of his have you stolen already?”
LOUIS: “A couple.” (mumbled) “He gave me his ex’s hoodie.”
ZAYN: (without thinking) “Ed’s? He gave you Ed’s shirt…ha, not sure how Ed would take that—”
LOUIS: (confused) “Ed?”
ZAYN: “Ed, his ex. Sheeran? He’s been around a few times…”
LOUIS: (stunned) “He?”
ZAYN: (rambling obliviously, not noticing how shell-shocked Louis is) “Ginger, blue-eyed, tall.
Harry has countless of pictures of them both on Facebook he has yet to purge. He’s hard to miss.”
(chewing through his food) “He used to wear a lot of hoodies that Harry swiped post-break up in a
spur of the moment rage—refused to give them back.” (rolling his eyes) “Was sort of a big deal—
battle of the clothing, El calls it.”
LOUIS: (slowly) “Harry’s…gay?”
ZAYN: (stops eating, eyebrow raised) “You’re kidding, right?”
LOUIS: “Ugh…I—He said he had a girlfriend. He said girlfriend…He said his ex was a girl.“
ZAYN: “Oh, right…That. I guess he hasn’t told you yet then.” (winces) “Oh boy.”
LOUIS: (getting angry, voice cracking with his rising rage) “Yes, he has not told me yet.”
ZAYN: “Well you assumed and he didn’t wanna say anything. He’s awkward about it. He’s
awkward about everything.”
LOUIS: “So he’s gay and his ex was a boy.”
ZAYN: “Pretty much.”
LOUIS: “Why would he just not…?”
ZAYN: (shrugs) “He doesn’t think it mattered. Is it really that important who he’s attracted to?
Does it really matter?”
LOUIS: “Yeah, it does.”
ZAYN: “Why?”
LOUIS: (struggling to express himself) “Because it’s who he is…part of who he is.”
ZAYN: “Yeah…I don’t…”
LOUIS: “It’s like I’ve been talking to this—this lie the entire time.”
ZAYN: “You’re being dramatic.”
LOUIS: “I’m not. I’m not being dramatic. This kind of thing defines a person.”
ZAYN: “A person is not defined by his sexuality, Louis.”
LOUIS: “Yes, he is. A lot of a person is his sexuality. It’s more than your next lay. It’s a piece of
you, a huge piece of you and your history—how you were treated, how you treat others. A person’s
sexuality tells you how strong they are and how broken and how empathetic and—and all of that.”
(Zayn cocks his head sideways, clearly lost) “You might not wanna accept that because we all
wanna turn a blind eye to the discrimination in our society but it is there nonetheless. And it will
always be there. And it will shape you.”
ZAYN: “It has shaped him and that shaped person is who you met. Does it matter how he was
shaped? He’s not asking you to share what made you like this, what made you, you.”
LOUIS: “It’s not the same!”
ZAYN: “How is it different?”
LOUIS: “Because…because it just is, okay? It is.”
ZAYN: “I sense some personal issues here so I’ll tread lightly.”
LOUIS: “There are no personal issues! Just why would no one tell me? Is he in the closet?”
ZAYN: “No, he’s out. Everyone knows. Most of the crew has met Ed. They’ve known for a
while.”
LOUIS: (screechy) “Why did no one tell me?!”
ZAYN: “We thought you knew! We all thought you were aware. Harry hasn’t really tried to keep it
hidden.”
LOUIS: “He lied to me! He never mentioned it.”
ZAYN: (trying to appease him) “He never mentioned it. That’s not lying. That’s just…he probably
never remembered…it…”
LOUIS: “He knew I didn’t know—all of you realized—and no one thought to, oh I don’t know,
throw this poor guy a hint?”
ZAYN: “We tried. Liam tried. El, all of us. But it wasn’t our place. We didn’t wanna out him for
no reason.”
LOUIS: “He’s already out! He’s out with everyone but me—what the hell does that tell you?”
ZAYN: “What would it have changed?”
LOUIS: “Everything! I wouldn’t have blurted out derogatory terms for starters.”
ZAYN: “You should stop doing that whether someone in the room is gay or not.”
LOUIS: “I’d have stopped if I knew. I never slip up with Luke because I know and I know it
would hurt him.”
ZAYN: “You should stop all together.”
LOUIS: “That’s not the point, Zayn! The point is you all left me in the dark. Hell, you were all
probably snickering behind my back about how ridiculous I looked every time I mentioned his
girlfriend.”
ZAYN: “Well, you’re not wrong.”
LOUIS: “Piss off.”
ZAYN: “We didn’t think it was a big deal. You were a little late with the news, whatever, it was
funny. We thought it would all hit you soon.”
LOUIS: (manic) “How far were you willing to let me go before you told me?”
ZAYN: “What do you mean?”
LOUIS: “I was sleeping in his bed!”
ZAYN: “Oh for shit’s sake, you’re one of those. Look, assface, just because he’s attracted to men
doesn’t mean he wants to jump every man in the world. He definitely doesn’t wanna jump the likes
of you.”
LOUIS: (slighted) “What are the likes of me, Zayn? Enlighten us all.”
ZAYN: “Insecure, homophobic straight boys who clench their buttcheeks at the mere sound of the
word gay.”
LOUIS: (cold) “I am not homophobic.”
ZAYN: “If you find yourself having to say that then you are.”
LOUIS: “I don’t have to prove anything to you.”
ZAYN: “Yes, but you have everything to prove to him.”
LOUIS: “After he proves that he hasn’t been lying about every damned detail of his life.”
ZAYN: “You’re being ridiculous. He failed to mention he’s gay. That’s one thing, one small—“
LOUIS: “Small.”
ZAYN: “Small. He’s gay, adjective. He’s not a homosexual—his sexuality does not constitute his
entire existence.”
LOUIS: “He is a homosexual though and really, it doesn’t matter. I don’t care who he beds. I just
want to be aware.”
ZAYN: (mocking) “So that what? You avoid being naked around him.”
LOUIS: (exploding, both attracting a lot of attention now) “So that I know I’m wearing a boy’s
hoodie, not a girl’s one!”
ZAYN: (matches his tone) “What does it freaking matter?!”
LOUIS: “It does!”
ZAYN: “You thought that oversized hoodie was a girl’s hoodie?”
LOUIS: “Some girls prefer baggy, big hoodies. I’m sorry I don’t assume every girl likes tight
stuff.”
ZAYN: “But you assume every guy is straight unless proven gay?”
LOUIS: “He said he had a girlfriend. What was I supposed to do? Assume he was lying to my
face?”
ZAYN: “You said he had a girlfriend. You assumed first. He went along.”
LOUIS: “Why did he have to go along? If it bothered him so much, my assuming, he’d have
corrected me!”
ZAYN: “If it bothered you so much to be friends with a gay man then you’d have made sure he
wasn’t!”
LOUIS: “It doesn’t bother me. Don’t put words in my mouth.”
ZAYN: “I don’t have to when they’re already there.”
LOUIS: “I never said him being gay had me uncomfortable.”
ZAYN: “But you wouldn’t sleep with him in the same bed if you knew.”
LOUIS: “Yes!” (frustrated) “No. I don’t know…I would have thought about it differently. I
wouldn’t have let him cuddle me—I mean, I don’t—that’s not something—”
ZAYN: (disgusted) “You’re a homophobe.”
LOUIS: (desperate) “I’m not a fucking homophobe! You don’t know me at all. You don’t know
anything about me.”
ZAYN: “I might not know everything about you, Louis, but I do know why Harry didn’t tell you.
He feared this exact thing. Congrats. You proved him right.”
Less
Chapter 37: Less
Scene 1
[Outside the Changing Rooms, Walt Disney World in Florida, 5:59pm, Leaving Work]
HARRY: ( still in costume about to go in when Louis comes out already undressed, Harry spots
him, stops, smiles ) “Hey!”
LOUIS: (startling, looks up form his phone, distant) “Hi.”
HARRY: “Do you have some time?”
LOUIS: (cold) “I suppose. What do you want?”
HARRY: (caught off guard) “I just—I just thought we could talk a little.”
LOUIS: “Talk.”
HARRY: (stunned) “Okay.” (hesitates, uncomfortable) “Uh…”
LOUIS: “Is that it?”
HARRY: “I…Is this a bad time?” (awkward, points behind him) “I can go—“
LOUIS: (reserved) “This is a good time. Talk”
HARRY: “Okay.” (gulps) “It’s just that…I haven’t seen you in a bit—“
LOUIS: “It’s been three days.”
HARRY: (self-conscious, trying to force a chuckle) “Yeah, I guess, about that long…”
LOUIS: “There’s nothing to guess. It’s been three days.”
HARRY: “Yeah, okay.”
LOUIS: “Sunday, Monday, Tuesday.”
HARRY: (another bad chuckle) “Okay, yeah. I was just wondering where you’ve been—how
you’ve been…”
LOUIS: “Keeping tabs on me now?”
HARRY: (smile completely gone, worried) “No. Not how I meant it. No. I don’t care—”
LOUIS: “Don’t care?”
HARRY: “I mean I do care—“

LOUIS: “Why would you care about what I do in my free time?”
HARRY: “I don’t…” (trapped) “That way…” (frazzled) “I just, I don’t…I didn’t mean…”
LOUIS: “What did you mean then?”
HARRY: (gulping, voice shaking badly) “I don’t know—I just thought it weird—“
LOUIS: “That I didn’t sleep over yours all this time? I have a life, you know?”
HARRY: (small) “I didn’t say—“
LOUIS: (getting riled up) “I had one before I started talking to you.”
HARRY: (pleading) “I never implied—“
LOUIS: (obvious he's more frustrated with himself than Harry) “I’m allowed to hang out with
other people.”
HARRY: “Of course you are—“
LOUIS: “You might have no one else but that doesn’t mean I don’t either.”
HARRY: (winces, curls into himself) “I understand.”
LOUIS: “You’re not the only thing my free time revolves around.”
HARRY: (whimpering) “I didn’t think so—“
LOUIS: (explosive) “Then what did you think, Styles?!”
HARRY: (flinches openly, visibly hurt, struggling) “I’m sorry!“
LOUIS: (roars, furious, frustrated) “Why?”
HARRY: (choked up, can't get himself to speak) “I don’t know…I’m sorry.”
LOUIS: “Don’t say sorry when you don’t mean it.”
HARRY: “I mean it.”
LOUIS: “How can you mean it when you don’t know why you’re apologizing?”
HARRY: “I’m sorry you’re sad. I hate seeing you sad. And you’re so sad right now. It’s very
difficult to see without wanting to ask about it. I’m sorry for whoever did this to you.”
LOUIS: (stunned) “Harry…”
HARRY: “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I don’t know what we’re talking about. I’m sorry I’m an
idiot. I’m sorry I can’t be there for you and be better at this. I’m trying so hard and I want to be
good but sometimes I mess up because I don’t know. I’m sorry. I mean all of those.”
LOUIS: (regretful) “Look…”

HARRY: “No, it’s okay.” (trying to smile again, failing) “That was a little creepy of me to ask
about your life…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound that way. I’m not creepy, I promise. I’m just bad
at knowing the—the friend code or something. It’s okay. I won’t do it again.”
LOUIS: (soft) “Harry.”
HARRY: (has shut off entirely, blank-faced) “I was just trying to make conversation, you know,
small talk…” (clearly rambling because he doesn’t know what to say) “I’m not really good at that,
small talk, as you saw probably, have seen, so yeah… Sorry about that, about being so awkward.
I’m just…okay, I’m wasting your time now.”
LOUIS: (gulping with difficulty, can’t bear to see Harry this way) “Yeah, I have to sorta be…
somewhere…right now.”
HARRY: (disappointed, then more embarrassment) “Oh…of course. Of course. I’m going to…”
(shuffling a few steps back, stumbling) “You go, yeah, you can go. That wasn't like me giving you
permission. It was like, leave, not like a demand but like you can just leave if you want to…I’ll go
change. I have to get home anyway…yeah.”
LOUIS: (torn) “I just…” (sad) “There’s this thing.”
HARRY: (trying to seem blasé) “Yeah, don’t worry about it. Completely fine. Do the…the thing.”
(smiles but it’s plastic) “I didn’t have anything to ask anyway. Was just saying hi.”
LOUIS: “Okay, I’m leaving now.” (walks away stiffly) “Bye.”
HARRY: (bites his lip, can’t help himself) “Is something wrong?”
LOUIS: (without turning around) “Is there?” (looking at him pointedly) “You tell me.”
HARRY: “Are you upset?”
LOUIS: “Nope.” (walks away further) “Why would I be upset?”
HARRY: (follows him slightly) “Are you sure?”
LOUIS: (scathing, snappy) “Yes, Harry. Nothing’s wrong. Everything’s peachy.”
HARRY: “What changed then?”
LOUIS: (growling) “Nothing.”
HARRY: “Did I do something? I didn’t mean to sound—did I upset you?”
LOUIS: (biting his lip, debating whether to say anything) “I’m going to go now.”
HARRY: (crushed, desperate) “What did I do?”
LOUIS: “I’m going, Harry. I’m late…” (takes a deep breath, forces it out) “You’re wasting my
time with your useless rambling.”
HARRY: (completely deflated) “I’m so—”
LOUIS: (desperate) “Shut up!” (Harry freezes completely, doesn’t speak, after a few seconds of
silence, Louis can’t help look back at him, Harry’s eyes are downcast) “I’m going to go now.”
(Harry nods quickly, still not looking up, Louis makes to walk away, Harry steps forward a couple
of steps too) “That means you have to stop following me. You’re not coming with.”
HARRY: (quiet, spaced out, didn’t even notice he was doing it) “Okay…” (trying to seem
cheerful, eyes glazed over, completely dissociated, his voice sounds strange, forced) “Some other
time then?”
LOUIS: (eyes him warily, guilty) “Go home, okay?” (Harry doesn’t respond, Louis’ face breaks
into frustrated worry) “Go home and talk to Zayn.” (Harry is blank-faced, silent) “Are you
listening to me?!” (Harry nods but it’s clear he isn’t) “Why are you still standing there?” (Harry
turns around to walk inside, Louis breaks into full worry) “Harry!” (Harry walks in without turning
around) “Goddammit!”
Scene 2
[Harry’s Range Rover, West Irlo Bronson Memorial Highway, 8 : 0 3pm, A Week Later,
Driving Home]
HARRY: (smoking, hand hanging out of the window, all of sudden, breaks the silence) “Why is
Louis mad at me?”
NIALL: (in the passenger seat, snapped awake) “So that is why you waited around for my to shift
to end? You had this whole ambush planned out.”
HARRY: “I didn’t. That wasn’t my intention at all.“
NIALL: “Harry, you work mornings on Fridays. You’re supposed to be home by three.”
HARRY: “I had to be around for something. Simon…Extra work. Shifts. That sort of thing.”
NIALL: “Right, the slave work as Louis calls it.”
HARRY: “Yeah…That….”
NIALL: “Cool…”
HARRY: (awkward, trying to excuse himself) “I just happened to see you and thought you’d want
a ride home. Better than the bus. That’s all. No ambush.”
NIALL: “That’s thoughtful of you.” (silence)
HARRY: (small) “So is he? Mad, I mean. Is Louis mad?”
NIALL: “I don’t think so…Why?”
HARRY: “No reason, just wondering. Just me…being insecure.”
NIALL: “Is anything wrong? Did something happen?”
HARRY: “No, nothing happened. He just…said some things. So I was wondering, dwelling, as I
always do. It’s nothing.”
NIALL: “What’s nothing?”

HARRY: “Everything.”
NIALL: (raising an eyebrow, amused) “Everything’s nothing?”
HARRY: “I—never mind, tell me about the new Ratatouille ride.“
NIALL: “Don’t switch topics. What happened?”
HARRY: “Nothing. He’s just…back to his usual self, that’s all.”
NIALL: “Usual being…”
HARRY: “He doesn’t talk to me or acknowledge my presence.” (wincing) “Cuts the conversation
short if I start it…I don’t much because—“ (self-deprecating snort) “I’m a little scared, not gonna
lie. But overall, just normal stuff. Usual Louis.”
NIALL: “He’s been ignoring you? But I thought you guys were getting along…He’s pissed at
you?”
HARRY: “No. He’s just been busy, that’s all. Forget I asked.”
NIALL: “He’s not busy. He’s been out every night this past week. When’s the last time you saw
him?”
HARRY: “Oh, I don’t know. Couple of days ago, maybe. I don’t…keep tabs on him or
anything…”
NIALL: “When?”
HARRY: (whispering) “Saturday after work.”
NIALL: “So you haven’t seen him in a week?”
HARRY: (shrugging) “I thought maybe he was mad at me but…maybe he’s just doing his own
thing for now.”
NIALL: “Have you tried talking to him?”
HARRY: “Yeah…he seems busy.”
NIALL: “Is he being mean?”
HARRY: “No!” (gulping, looking sadder) “No, he’s just…Louis.” (quietly, resigned) “I don’t
know…I don’t know what I did wrong…”
NIALL: “I’ll talk to him. Maybe he’s just having a bad week. I’ll let him know you’re worried— ”
HARRY: “No! Don’t!” (Niall makes a confused face) “I don’t want him thinking that I’m telling
people about this. I don’t wanna be a crybaby. I wasn’t gonna tell you. I just wanted to—I thought
you knew something since you were his best friend and it was bothering me a little—don’t tell him
that because I don’t want him thinking that he’s doing something wrong. I’m just wondering if I
did anything bad to him or in general.”
NIALL: (sympathetic) “I think he’s just cranky maybe…He’s gotten drunk more often, which tells
me he’s having a bad week. Maybe news from home? Something completely unrelated to you?”
HARRY: “If he doesn’t wanna be friends with me, that’s okay. I mean I’m pretty weird and he’s
not weird and we don’t have to be friends, you understand? I just…missed him a little.” (looking at
Niall immediately, scared) “Please don’t tell him I said that. I missed him because I got
attached—stupid I know—it’s been a week and I’m being pathetic about this. I just liked him…
hanging out with him. It was nice and now I’m being clingy. I get that. I’m trying to pull back.”
(pulling his hair, fidgeting, struggling to pick up another cigarette from the pack) “God, this is so
stupid. That’s why he can’t know. Because it’s stupid. It was stupid of me to ask you.”
NIALL: “It wasn’t stupid. You were worried.”
HARRY: “Should I be worried?”
NIALL: “I don’t know…because I don’t know what’s happening. But I’m upset that he’s doing
this to you. It doesn’t seem fair.”
HARRY: “No. No. You misunderstand. He isn’t doing anything. Don’t be mad at him. This is not
his fault.” (very softly, almost inaudible) “Don’t hurt him.”
NIALL: “What did you say?”
HARRY: (repeats it, looking sad and lost) “Don’t hurt him. He’s already hurt. I don’t know why
but I don’t want it to be worse. Just let it be for a bit.”
NIALL: (surprised) “Ok, then.”

Liar
Chapter 38: Liar
[Outside the Changing Rooms, Walt Disney World in Florida, 6:33pm, Leaving Work]
LOUIS: “When were you gonna tell me you’re gay?”
HARRY: (panicked) “I’m not! I mean…I am but…I wasn’t going to…I was going to tell you. I
wasn’t lying. I was just…the conversation didn’t—“
LOUIS: “Don’t pull that bull with me.” (mocking) “The conversation didn’t lead to it…”
(snapping) “Of course, it lead to it! You let me say girlfriend. You said girlfriend yourself! It
wasn’t a lie by omission. You consciously lied. You lied to me.”
HARRY: “I was scared. Worried. I didn’t know…You said girlfriend once and I couldn’t correct
you so I had to keep—I’m sorry.”
LOUIS: “You couldn’t have once said, hey, Louis, by the way, I have no intention of sleeping with
Eleanor because she’s lacking some bits and parts.”
HARRY: (panicked) “I never said I slept with Eleanor! You said that. You assumed! It was you.”
LOUIS: “You could have corrected me instead of letting me worry and dwell on whether she was
riding you—”
HARRY: “You didn’t have to worry. I told you I’d never take her away. Why would you doubt
me?”
LOUIS: “Why would you not tell me you’re gay?!”
HARRY: “I didn’t know how you’d react.”
LOUIS: “So you thought to lie for what? Forever? Until you invited me to your wedding and I saw
you kissing a dude?”
HARRY: (strangled) “I’m sorry.”
LOUIS: “You let me wear your fucking boy toy’s shirts and didn’t say anything.”
HARRY: (frowning) “He was my boyfriend and what does it matter?” (angry) “What does it
matter if they were his. They kept you warm all the same.”
LOUIS: “Look, I don’t know what kind of twisted thing you have going on here—“
HARRY: “Nothing! Nothing is going on.”
LOUIS: “I will not dress up like him and let you cuddle me to bed and be his rotten replacement
for your love sick self.” (snarls) “Get over him already!”
HARRY: (hurt) “I am over him! And you’d never be Ed’s replacement!” (almost in tears) “I don’t
want you to be his replacement! I never asked for that. I never asked for anything from you.”
LOUIS: “I’ll never be his replacement ‘cause I’m nothing like him right. I’m not nice and giggly
and a pushover.” (flipping out) “I’m sorry I couldn’t be a better little actor. But if you had told me,
Styles, I would have tried. You know I have a theatre degree. If you had told me who you wanted
me to play, I’d have played the part brilliantly.”
HARRY: “I don’t want you to play any part. I wanted a friend—just that, a freaking friend! If I
wanted Ed, I’d still be with him.”
LOUIS: “He dumped you!”
HARRY: (furious, screaming) “Yes! Yes. Fucking yes. He dumped me. He dumped me. Why
can’t you let that go? Why do you keep bringing it up? Stop reminding me goddammit—I obsess
about it as it is.”
LOUIS: “I don’t bring it up. I didn’t even know you had a boyfriend until a week ago because you
didn’t want me to know.”
HARRY: “I was scared you’d freak out.”
LOUIS: “Fuck you.”
HARRY: “You are freaking out.”
LOUIS: “I’m freaking out because you lied to me.”
HARRY: “It was a stupid, white lie…what does it matter? Why does it matter this much if a boy
or a girl wore that hoodie?”
LOUIS: “It does matter.”
HARRY: “Why?”
LOUIS: “Because it does. It matters to me. It matters to me to know who I’m talking to—who’s
standing in front of me.”
HARRY: “You do know me. You think being gay changes who I am as a person—my
personality?!” (scoffing, strangled) “What, you like me less now?”
LOUIS: “Yes, because you are a liar.”
HARRY: “No, because I’m gay.”
LOUIS: “Not because you’re gay.”
HARRY: “And that’s precisely why I lied. You wouldn’t have been friends with me if you knew.
You’d have kept your distance.”
LOUIS: “That’s not true!”
HARRY: “I had to lie or you’d have bullied me.”
LOUIS: (losing his shit) “That is not fucking true! I’d never—you ungrateful punk—when have I
ever—is that what you think of me?!”
HARRY: “That’s what’s happening right now.”
LOUIS: “You made me look like a fool. Everyone knew. Everyone! Liam…Eleanor. They all
knew but me. I was the only one out of the loop.”
HARRY: “I was going to tell you.”
LOUIS: “When?”
HARRY: “When it came up.”
LOUIS: “When what came up? The topic of whether you wanna suck my dick when I’m in bed
with you?”
HARRY: (offended, speechless) “Is that what you think?” (Louis shrugs, lost, regretful) “You
think…you think I didn’t tell you so I could what, lure you into my room in some elaborate plan
to…” (chokes, sickened) “Force myself on you?” —“ (in disbelief, hurt) “You’re disgusting.
You’re sick. You’re out of your mind.”
LOUIS: “I didn’t—“
HARRY: “As if I’d ever—“
LOUIS: (insulted) “Like me? Yeah, no kidding, keep liking dumbasses that smack the door on
your face.”
HARRY: (sarcastic, pained) “Better than raping straight boys in my room.”
LOUIS: (shocked) “I didn’t say that…”
HARRY: “That’s what you think though. That’s why you’re all angry. Because you feel cheated—
because you think I did this on purpose so I could get some sort of demented pleasure from feeling
you up—”
LOUIS: “You didn’t get pleasure from—”
HARRY: “I didn’t! At all. That’s not who I am—I didn’t!” (shaking his head) “You know what…
forget it. It was my mistake. I should have told you. I should have told you since the first day so
then it wouldn’t hurt this bad to discover how much of an asshole you are.”
LOUIS: (tormented) “You knew I was an asshole since day one. You could have easily avoided
this.”
HARRY: “Yes. And I’ll start now.”
LOUIS: “Fine. Leave! Nobody’s begging you to stay.”
HARRY: “I wasn’t expecting anyone to.” (stomps off, muttered) “Eleanor was right about
you…bitch.”
LOUIS: “Oh, name-calling, classy, Styles, fucking classy.”
HARRY: “Go ahead.”

LOUIS: “What?”
HARRY: (flipping around) “Call me what you’ve been dying to call me all this time.”
LOUIS: “I don’t know what you’re—“
HARRY: “You know, Tomlinson, out of the two of us, I don’t know who the closet fag is.”
LOUIS: (mouth drops open, rams into him violently, grabbing his shirt, furious) “How dare
you?!”
HARRY: (shoves him away, livid) “Don’t touch me.”
LOUIS: “But I thought you enjoyed that kind of thing, you fucking poof!”
HARRY: “Say it. Say it already. God knows you’ve said it behind my back so grow some balls
and say it to my face.”
LOUIS: (struggling) “Who told you?!”
HARRY: “I assumed. You admitted it.” (snorts deprecatingly) “The walls have ears, Louis,
especially when we both work here.”
LOUIS: “At least I regretted saying it! Unlike you right now!” (screaming) “How dare you! That
triggers people, you moron.”
HARRY: (caustic) “Really? A word used to tell people they’re trash and have no rights triggers
people?” (furious) “Tell me about it, Louis. Tell me as someone who throws it around without
blinking twice. Tell me—me, the person who has heard it millions of times when people pushed
me and spit on me and treated me like garbage. Tell me!”
LOUIS: “I regret it, okay?! I regret it! I wouldn’t have done it had I known—” (Harry makes to
turn around and leave, Louis grabs his forearm to yank him back)
HARRY: (flips, snarls) “Don’t do that.” (grabs him by the shoulders, holds him still, way too
tightly) “That’s where I draw the line.”
LOUIS: (fidgets in his grasp, scared) “Let go…”
HARRY: (breathing heavily, yanks himself away, his fists are shaking by his sides) “Don’t touch
me again or I swear, I’ll have you on the ground.”
LOUIS: (blurts, shaken) “I thought you weren’t about raping straight boys.”
HARRY: (shattered completely, trembling all over, tearing up, brokenly) “Please stop. Don’t push
me like this. I can’t do this right now.”
LOUIS: (taken aback at the change, regretful) “Harry.”
HARRY: (covering his eyes) “I wanna punch you so bad and—and I’m losing my mind—I haven’t
punched someone in years and I can’t have that be you, please, I can’t have that be you. I care too
much. I’d never forgive myself if I touched you.”
LOUIS: (somber) “Punch me.” (Harry whimpers) “Punch me, I deserve it.” (walks closer,
worried, reaching for him) “Harry.”
HARRY: (practically hyperventilating) “Don’t come near me.” (Louis stops in his path,
devastated, hands falling by his sides) “Don’t!” (sobbing, heaving) “Don’t talk to me ever again.”
LOUIS: (gulping, pained) “Harry, I’m sorr—“
HARRY: (exploding) “No, you’re not! You’re not sorry. You pushed me here.” (screaming,
flailing his arms, Louis flinches back, the act sends Harry into more of a frenzy) “You knew what
you were doing and you pushed me here and now I have to go and be crazy!” (crying, out of
control) “Now you have to see the crazy! You did this to me.”
LOUIS: (brokenly, desperate) “That’s not true!”
HARRY: “You wanted this to happen—“
LOUIS: (eyes wet) “That’s not true.” (begging) “Harry, I’m sorry!”
HARRY: (shakes his head) “Sorry’s not good enough. Sorry doesn’t fix everything. Sorry doesn’t
make it hurt any less.” (starts walking away, tears on his face)
LOUIS: (rapidly, panicked, terrified) “I didn’t mean it—I got out of control—I said the first thing
I knew’d hurt you because I was hurt—because you hurt me—I didn’t mean any of it! I would
never—Harry, I’d never, please!”
HARRY: “Fuck you.”
LOUIS: (devastated, growls) “So much for trusting people. So much for trusting you!” (voice
cracking in pain, tears running down his face without him noticing) “Some hero you are.” (Harry
keeps walking, Louis screams) “Don’t leave! If you leave, I never want you back!”
HARRY: (stops, doesn’t turn around) “If I stay, I’ll do something I’ll regret.”
LOUIS: “Hit me then! Just hit me already and get it done with.”
HARRY: (whispered to himself, still walking away) “That’s not what I meant, Lou…”
Lament
Chapter 39: Lament
Scene 1
[Outside Zayn’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 7:44pm, Help?]
PERRIE: (opening the door) “Oh hi Harry.” (notices how red Harry’s eyes are, gentle) “Is
everything okay?”
HARRY: “Yeah, yeah, um, am I interrupting something?”
PERRIE: “No, we were just chilling…would you want to—should I call Zayn?” (watches as
Harry bites his lip to keep calm) “Zayn, babe, Harry’s here.”
HARRY: (small, guilty) “Do you mind? I’m sorry. I wouldn’t be doing this if—“
PERRIE: “It’s okay.”
HARRY: “I just need a few seconds—I don’t mean to barge in.”
PERRIE: (smiles) “It’s completely fine, sweetie. Here, come in.”
HARRY: (walks inside, Perrie closes the door, sees Zayn on the bed, flipping through a
sketchbook, weak) “Zay?”
ZAYN: “What’s up?” (looks up, notices Harry’s sadness) “H, hey.” (jumps up from the bed, walks
up to him) “What happened?”
PERRIE: (after minutes of Harry trying to catch his breath and failing to talk) “Harry’s not
feeling too well. I think he wants to talk to you privately. I’ll call later?” (Zayn nods at her, smiling,
giving her a tap kiss) “Feel better, Harr. It’s gonna be okay, honey.” (closes the door behind her)
HARRY: “I’m sorry I’m cockblocking.”
ZAYN: “We weren’t doing anything…” (pause) “You’ve been crying.” (wraps his arms around
him) “What’s wrong?”
HARRY: (pushes him back, voice cracked) “I want you to do me a favor.”
ZAYN: (frowning in concern) “Can you tell me what’s happening first?”
HARRY: (extends his hand, phone clutched in it) “Please?”
ZAYN: (looks at the phone, face breaks) “No, H, not this again.”
HARRY: (heaving) “Five minutes.” (tearing up) “Just that.”
ZAYN: (worried) “What happened? Why are you upset?”
HARRY: “One minute? One minute is enough, please.”

ZAYN: (sad) “You don’t need him. Tell me. I can help you.”
HARRY: “I will. I’ll tell you but I just need a minute with him first…” (begging) “Please, he
won’t answer my calls but if you call him…” (eyes big) “One minute. I’ll just say hi.”
ZAYN: “What’s that gonna do?”
HARRY: “I wanna hear his voice. I’m at the edge of a panic attack and he comforts me.”
(touching Zayn’s sleeve, pleading) “I’ve been strong until now. I deserve one minute.”
ZAYN: “I can’t, Harry.” (Harry whimpers) “This is for your own good. I’m trying to help you.”
(Harry starts crying) “Sit down. Let’s talk. You need a glass of water? We’ll talk this out and it’ll
be fine. And if you have a panic attack. That will be fine too. I’ll talk you through it.”
HARRY: (grabs his hand, small) “But if I can’t calm down…If I can’t breathe—you’ll call him?
If I can’t do it on my own, you’ll call him?”
ZAYN: (cups his face) “If we can’t do it together, I will call him.”
HARRY: (nods, whispered) “Promise?”
ZAYN: “I promise.” (pulls away to get him water, on the way to the kitchen) “Why does it help to
know that? You always ask, make me promise. Why does it calm you down?”
HARRY: “Because when I’m having a panic attack, I feel like I’m dying…” (low) “And I can’t
die without hearing his voice one last time.”
Scene 2
[Outside Eleanor’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 8:04pm, A Different Kind of Help]
LOUIS: (once the door opens, fidgety, out of breath) “Hey. You busy?”
ELEANOR: “Um…I…” (careful) “Is there anything you need…?”
LOUIS: “A good lay would be nice. That’s why I was asking if you were busy.”
ELEANOR: (guarded) “I don’t think that will be happening.”
LOUIS: “What?” (snorts) “You’re holding a grudge? Come on. We go off on each other all the
time.”
ELEANOR: (sighs) “Sometimes people get hurt, Louis. I know you mean well—I want to think
you mean well. It’s how you are…you snap at people, I get that. And it’s okay, really.” (trying to
put it gently) “It’s just that I’m kind of…going through something, you know? I’m trying to figure
some things out and…and…” (sad, watching him carefully) “And I’m trying to cut out some of the
negativity from my life.”
LOUIS: “So what, you don’t wanna sleep with me anymore?”
ELEANOR: (biting her lip) “I don’t wanna…talk to you anymore.” (hurried) “For a bit. Until I
feel better. This isn’t a you thing. It’s a me thing.” (trying to explain) “I’m just stressed recently
and…and I thought it’d be best if we didn’t get on each other’s nerves. So we just…do our own
thing for a bit, like not…being friends…kind of.”
LOUIS: “Oh.” (vulnerable for a second) “Not being friends, like we ignore each other and…”
(closing up, gulping) “Okay, yeah, I get it.” (puts his hands on his pockets, looking anywhere but
Eleanor) “Sure. Okay.”
ELEANOR: (worried) “I’m sorry.”
LOUIS: (snorts sadly) “I think I should be the one saying that.”
ELEANOR: (lingering at the door, at a loss) “You don’t have to say anything. I’m not asking for
anything…”
LOUIS: (nodding, still looking down) “I’ll leave you alone.” (starts walking away) “Feel better or
something.”
ELEANOR: “You too.” (sighs, closes the door, Louis turns around once more, biting his lip, eyes
wet)
Scene 3
[Zayn’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 12:14am, Helpful Help]
HARRY: (laying on the bed, facing each other) “Zayn?”
ZAYN: “You’ll be okay, okay? You’re always okay.” (smiles) “We’ll get through this too.”
HARRY: (smiles back, shuffles so his hand is sticking out the comforter, palm out, Zayn touches it
with his own hand) “I’m so lucky to have you.”
ZAYN: (lowering their hands, cheeky) “Oh stop...but at least you know it.”
HARRY: (smiling further) “I’m serious. You’re so special.” (snuggling further in the covers, face
hidden) “Always there for me.”
ZAYN: “I told you I’d protect you from assholes that didn’t understand. I told you I’d help.”
(quiet) “Plus, this is my fault. I messed up. I told him.”
HARRY: “I should have told him ages ago. You warned me on this.” (snorts) “I’m almost glad
you slipped up so I don’t have to carry around this guilt anymore…I couldn’t do it…I wanted to
but…but…”
ZAYN: “Why didn’t you tell him?”
HARRY: (shrugs) “I was scared. I didn’t think I could handle seeing his face when…when…”
(shaky exhale) “And I guess I didn’t handle it. I lost it back there.”
ZAYN: “What happened?”
HARRY: (pained) “I almost hurt him.”
ZAYN: (worried) “Did you touch him? Did you punch him?”
HARRY: “No…but for a second I thought I would. I lost control. Like that time…the time…”
(struggling) “When that guy touched Teddy in front of me and I couldn’t stop hitting him.”
ZAYN: “Like that time? It was that bad?”
HARRY: “No…I don’t know…I was really crazy that time. It was like the beginning of that time,
I felt myself start to lose it…God, I never want what happened that night to happen again. I sent
that guy to the hospital! Ed was terrified.” (forceful) “That can never happen again. No one can see
that again.”
ZAYN: “It was once, Harry. You had too much to drink. Everything piled up. It was an accident.”
HARRY: “I broke his jaw!”
ZAYN: “You didn’t mean to. You snapped. You were aiming with your eyes closed. You didn’t
mean to.”
HARRY: “I can’t have anymore accidents.”
ZAYN: “You won’t. You’re careful now. You understand that part of yourself.”
HARRY: (whispered) “I want Ed back…”
ZAYN: (sad) “Harry…”
HARRY: (gulping) “You don’t get it…”
ZAYN: “I do, Harr, I do. It’s hard to forget but—“
HARRY: “No, it’s not that. I’m not…It’s not…I don’t…” (self-conscious) “He’s the only one
that…that…”
ZAYN: “H, no.”
HARRY: (hoarse, sniffly) “He’s the only one that can love me.”
ZAYN: “That’s not true. I love you.”
HARRY: “I know. You and him are the only ones that get it and I can’t have you so I have to have
him. Otherwise I’ll be alone forever. No one else will want me. No one else understands that I
need to be clingy because if I’m not I get angry and violent and—and I can’t breathe…That scares
people. I scare people. You and Ed are the only ones who get it. No one else will love me like he
loved me.”
ZAYN: (biting his lip, watching Harry tear up) “Don’t say that. Don’t get like this. You’re kind
and smart and—“
HARRY: “Help me get Ed back.”
ZAYN: (sighs, pained) “You don’t want Ed back, Harry. You are just fine without him.”
HARRY: (sobbing) “I’m not. I’m not. I miss him so much.”
ZAYN: “Yes, you are. You were doing fine. You were doing so well. This is just a bump—that’s
all. You’re just sad right now and whenever you’re sad you want him again because he was good at
comforting you and you feel alone—“
HARRY: “I want to call him.”
ZAYN: “I know but you have to be strong. This is like an addiction and you told me not to let you
relapse. You’re wavering but it doesn’t mean anything. You’re still strong. You can do this without
him too.”
HARRY: (long pause, nods) “If I didn’t have you, I’d have never managed this long without
him…”
ZAYN: (guilty) “If you didn’t have me, you might still be with him…”
HARRY: (staring at him intently) “But I have you.”
ZAYN: “But you have me. And you’ll be okay. I’ll make sure you’re okay.”
HARRY: (confessing) “Knowing all this, even after all this, I’d still pick you…” (Zayn averts his
eyes) “I don’t know if there will ever be a situation where I don’t pick you, to be honest.”
ZAYN: “Maybe you won’t have to choose. Maybe who you choose we’ll accept that.” (frowning)
“Maybe they won’t give you ultimatums about ignoring your best friend.” (angry) “He wanted to
isolate you! He wanted you wholly dependent on him. That’s not healthy. A healthy person would
accept that you need friends. You’ll find someone who’ll accept it.”
HARRY: (chuckling sadly) “Accept what, Zayn? That they’ll always be my number two? Who is
ever gonna accept that? If Ed didn’t, no one else will. Ed was your best friend and he didn’t. Ed
knew me better than anyone and he didn’t. No one will. They wanna be with someone that is so in
love with them he can’t help but put them first and…and…I can’t give you up.”
ZAYN: “Maybe I’ll stop being your number one.”
HARRY: “Would you be angry?”
ZAYN: (smiles) “I don’t know…I’d get used to it.”
HARRY: “And you’d still be there?”
ZAYN: (sideways smirk) “Number two isn’t that bad, right? I’m number one in everything else
so…”
HARRY: (laughs lightly, closes his eyes) “You’re number one in everything—not everything
else.”
Scene 4
[Lobby Bar, Walt Disney Hotel, 2:14am, Liquid Help]
LOUIS: (slouching on the bar, completely drunk) “Can I have another?”
JOSH: (behind the bar, wiping the counter) “No, you can have water.”
LOUIS: “Water doesn’t make me feel good.” (hiccuping) “Water doesn’t butter my buns…”
(giggling) “Bread my biscuit…”
JOSH: “What are you saying?”

LOUIS: “I need more beer. Beer’s good.”
JOSH: “Louis, go home. You need to go home.”
LOUIS: (plastered on the bar) “I’m waiting…I’ll do that soon.”
JOSH: “What are you waiting for?”
LOUIS: “Haz.”
JOSH: “Who?”
LOUIS: “Harry.”
JOSH: “Is he picking you up?”
LOUIS: (eyes closed, plastered, smile on his face) “He’ll come and take me home.”
JOSH: “Okay…Does he know where you are?” (Louis doesn’t reply, nuzzling into his arm, out of
it) “Louis?” (puts a glass down, shakes him) “Hey, does he know you’re here?”
LOUIS: “Don’t know…”
JOSH: “You don’t know or he doesn’t know?”
LOUIS: “Don’t know…”
JOSH: (aggravated sigh) “Call him. Call him and tell him to come. I need to close up. Come on.”
LOUIS: (confused) “Call him?” (epiphany, happy) “Call him. I could call him.” (Josh shakes his
head) “Imma call him.”
JOSH: “Do that. I hope he’s awake.”
LOUIS: (fumbling with his phone, squints at the screen, talking to himself) “I can’t find his
number…” (more searching) “Oh there it is…” (rambling, waiting for the phone to ring) “He used
to always be on my last calls but…but…I don’t know what happened…”
ZAYN: (picking up, mumbled, angry) “Don’t call again.”
LOUIS: (giddy) “Harry!”
ZAYN: “Harry’s asleep. I don’t want you calling him again.”
LOUIS: “Zayn?”
ZAYN: “Yeah, what do you want?”
LOUIS: “Is Harry gonna come get me now?”
ZAYN: “What?”
LOUIS: (giggly) “I’m drunk. I wanna sleep. I want Harry to carry me to bed.”
ZAYN: “Piss off, Louis. Seriously, leave him alone.”
LOUIS: (confused) “But—“
ZAYN: “Listen to me, I don’t want you to call again. He doesn’t wanna speak with you—“
LOUIS: (small) “He said that?”
ZAYN: “Yes. Now go home and stop calling. You’re getting annoying.”
LOUIS: (stunned) “So he’s not gonna—“
ZAYN: (irritated) “No! He’s not. He’s done playing this game. I’m done playing this game.
You’re not cute anymore, Louis. No one is laughing anymore. Go home and stop embarrassing
yourself.” (hangs up)
LOUIS: (shocked, takes a few seconds before putting the phone on the bar slowly) “Josh…”
JOSH: “Is he coming?”
LOUIS: “Can I have another beer?”
JOSH: (exasperated) “Louis, no. Is he coming to pick you up?”
LOUIS: “No…” (upset) “No, he’s not… No one’s coming.” (frustrated) “I don’t want anyone to
come. I want a beer.”
JOSH: “The bar’s closed, Louis. Should I call Niall?”
LOUIS: (glaring at his phone) “I’m fine.”
JOSH: (sighing) “I’m calling Niall.”
LOUIS: (sniffling) “I’m fine.”
Scene 5
[Lobby Bar, Walt Disney Hotel, 2:34am, Frustrated Help]
NIALL: (walks up to him, wearing pajamas, looking sleepy and irritated) “Get up.”
LOUIS: (turns his head slowly) “Niall?”
NIALL: (annoyed, clear by his tone and his expression) “Get up. I’m taking you home.” (pulls
Louis to his feet a little roughly, Louis stumbles) “Every damned night, Lou? Every night?” (to
Josh) “Thanks, Josh. I got him.”
LOUIS: (wobbling beside him as they walk to the elevator) “You were sleeping?”
NIALL: “Yes, that’s what people usually do at two in the morning when they have work the next
day…”
LOUIS: “I don’t have work.”

NIALL: “Awesome, Louis. That’s awesome. But some of us do and…” (trying to compose
himself) “And it’d be great if you thought of that sometimes.” (punching the elevator floor) “Like
for a second, you thought about the people having to do this whenever you do that.”
LOUIS: (leaning on the elevator wall, frowning) “I don’t need you to do anything…Was doing
just fine without you…”
NIALL: (rolls his eyes) “You have a problem.”
LOUIS: (defensive) “Look, if you don’t wanna be here then leave.”
NIALL: “And how will you get to bed? How will you get into your pajamas? How will you not
choke on your vomit at night? Do you think of that, Louis? Do you think about what happens next,
beyond the part were you get blind drunk? You don’t stop existing when you stop thinking and
feeling.”
LOUIS: “I’m fine. Aren’t I always fine? Isn’t that what you all say?”
NIALL: “You’re not fine.” (helping him down the hallway) “This last week has proved that.”
(letting Louis inside the room) “Go puke.”
LOUIS: (pushes himself off Niall, tries to sit on the bed, trips, lands on the floor, starts laughing)
“Shit, I’m drunk.” (more laughing) “Holy hell.”
NIALL: (getting more frustrated) “Go throw up.”
LOUIS: “I don’t need to throw up.”
NIALL: “Then get in bed.”
LOUIS: (giggling, laying on the floor) “Can’t move. Help.”
NIALL: (growled) “Louis!”
LOUIS: (laughing) “You need a drink. You’re not being too much fun right now…”
NIALL: “Louis, come on.” (tries to pull him from an arm, Louis purposely slouches off, grinning)
“Move, come on. Enough.”
LOUIS: (amused) “Niall isn’t strong enough to pick me up! Niall goes to the gym but he still can’t
pick me up.”
NIALL: “Enough!” (tearing up from frustration) “I’m serious. Enough. Get in bed.”
LOUIS: (smug) “No.”
NIALL: (sniffling, wiping his tears on the back of his hand, trying to hold his composure) “I
wanna go to bed. I’m tired. I need to wake up early. I wanna sleep. Come on. Let’s sleep.”
LOUIS: “It’s early!”
NIALL: “Louis, please.” (tries picking him up from the torso, Louis giggles, not helping) “Please.”
LOUIS: “I wanna keep going…” (hiccups) “More drinking!”

NIALL: (struggling to get him to lie on the bed) “No.”
LOUIS: “I need more…” (whiny) “I need more…I haven’t passed out yet. I need to pass out so I
can sleep.”
NIALL: (trying to yank Louis’ shirt off, Louis resists) “Get this off…” (struggles, gets nowhere,
sits down, huffs, to himself) “I can’t do this anymore.” (to Louis) “Do you hear that? I can’t do this
anymore if you’re gonna keep being like this—“
LOUIS: (frowns, ignoring him) “Maybe I should have puked…”
NIALL: (appalled) “Louis, no—“ (Louis gags, throws up a little, it runs down his face and on his
shirt) “No! Go to the bathroom.” (points at it, Louis chokes, more puke comes out, Niall’s furious)
“Go to the fucking bathroom! Go. Louis! Fucking go!”
LOUIS: (disgusted) “Shit.”
NIALL: (screaming) “Why are you doing this?!”
LOUIS: “Don’t scream…” (tries to stand up, dragging himself to his feet) “I’ll go. Don’t get
mad.” (stands up, vomit runs down his shirt on the floor) “Ew…”
NIALL: (palming his face, crying, trying to hold it together, breathing deeply) “I am so annoyed
with you right now. When are you going to stop this?” (looks at Louis accusingly) “When will it be
enough?”
LOUIS: (balancing on the wall) “You’re acting like my woman. Fucking hell…it’s just puke.”
NIALL: “It’s not just puke! It’s this entire thing. You expect me to clean up after you. You expect
someone to do all this and never get tired or annoyed or frustrated. You’re being selfish—you’re
selfish!”
LOUIS: “I didn’t ask you to do anything. You could have left me down there.”
NIALL: “I’m trying to help you. I wanna help you. I don’t wanna see you like this. I’m trying—“
LOUIS: (exploding, vulnerable) “I’m trying too, okay? I’m trying too. I’m trying to keep all this
away from my friends because I know it annoys everyone and I’m losing you all because of it.”
NIALL: “What are you talking about? Because of what?”
LOUIS: (devastated) “Because I’m too much, for everyone. When I’m normal, I’m too much. I
upset people. I make people sad. I push them away. So I need to be happy so I can have friends—I
need friends really badly because I’m pathetic and an attention whore and I can’t be on my own. I
need to have friends—That’s the most impotent thing to me. I’m sorry—So when I’m…it helps…
to drink—it helps when I’m sad because I can forget and—and I don’t—I’m just…” (broken) “I’ve
lost everyone…please, you—I need you—please.” (sniffling, struggling with his shirt, tearing up)
“I’m rock bottom right now and I can’t do this on my own.”
NIALL: (emotional, helping him take off the shirt) “What happened? You have to tell me what
happened otherwise I can’t help.” (throws the dirty shirt on the floor, helps Louis to bed again)
“You can’t keep hiding this and expect it to disappear.”
LOUIS: (looking at the floor, whispered) “I want him to be here with me so much that it hurts. It
hurts so bad. I feel sick. I can barely look at you without the world spinning. I’m probably blacked
out at this point…” (touches his chest instinctually) “And it still won’t stop hurting.”
Lesson
Chapter 40: Lesson
Scene 1
[Niall’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 6:17pm, Evening After?]
NIALL: (shaking Louis, who's still asleep in his bed) “Yo, do you live?”
LOUIS: (groaning, turning around, eyes barely open) “What time is it? Where am I?”
NIALL: “Where do you think?”
LOUIS: (weak smirk) “Hell?”
NIALL: “Close enough.”
LOUIS: (blinks his eyes open, groggy) “What time is it?”
NIALL: “Six. You slept all day. You gonna eat anything?”
LOUIS: (curling into himself) “My stomach kills.”
NIALL: “No food then?”
LOUIS: (sighed) “No…I feel sick still. Did I puke?” (swallows) “My mouth tastes like shit. I
puked, didn’t I?”
NIALL: “On your shirt. On the bed. On the floor. You need a shower. We both do really...”
LOUIS: (cringes) “Shit…” (palms his face) “That’s disgusting. I’m sorry. I puked on myself?”
(curses under his breath, embarrassed) “Jesus. Talk about a wreck.”
NIALL: (shrugs) “It wasn’t one of your best nights.”
LOUIS: “How bad was I?”
NIALL: (sipping on a bottle of Gatorade, cautiously) “Do you remember anything?”
LOUIS: (shakes his head, hisses) “I remember Josh. Everything else is gone…I feel sick. I feel
poisoned. I smell awful.” (looks at Niall) “What the hell happened?”
NIALL: (sighs, gulps, looks away than back at Louis) “We need to talk.”
LOUIS: (chuckling) “Are you breaking up with me?” (Niall is silent, Louis sobers up)
“Something’s wrong? Really wrong? I pooped myself?”
NIALL: (half-shrugs) “Kind of. Not on the poop thing. On the wrong thing.” (pauses) “Look,
Lou…you weren’t doing well at all last night. And it wasn’t like…like we laugh about it, you do
stupid shit, it’s all cool. Wasn’t like that.”
LOUIS: (worried) “Okay…”
NIALL: “You were frustrated and I was frustrated and no one was really laughing or having fun.”
LOUIS: (looks down) “I’m sorry. I made a fool of myself.” (trying to inch out of bed) “I—it won’t
happen again. I won’t do that again.”
NIALL: (sits next to him) “That’s what I wanna talk about.”
LOUIS: “I apologized. I really am sorry. I’m embarrassed.” (touching his hair, self-conscious)
“You’re right. I get white girl wasted and I just proved you right.” (dry snort) "I need to be less of a
sorority girl."
NIALL: “Don’t apologize. I mean yes, what you did was…not the best but I’m not telling you this
so you apologize to me. I don’t need you to apologize.”
LOUIS: (withdrawn) “Is this the part where you give me the ‘you need distance’ speech?”
NIALL: “What?”
LOUIS: (exhales) “Eleanor doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. She doesn’t want me to be her
friend.” (wringing his hands) “Because I’m a jerk and I get it.” (slight pause) “I’m just asking if
that’s the speech you’re about to give me too…If so I’ve heard it. I’ll get out of your room.”
NIALL: (touching his thigh) “No, Lou, that’s not what I’m trying to say at all. I’d never stop
being friends with you. We’re besties. We went through hell together. We are going through hell
together. I wouldn’t abandon you.”
LOUIS: (nods, emotional) “Yesterday wasn’t normal. I didn’t just drink myself to that state
because that’s what I do.” (struggling) “I had a really bad day and—and I broke down…That’s
why. It's rare. It won't happen again. I won't let it happen again.”
NIALL: “I get it…”
LOUIS: “I just don’t want you to think I’m a drunk or an idiot. I don’t need my friends to babysit
me. I can do fine on my own.”
NIALL: (supportive) “I know that.” (heavy silence) "What happened yesterday?”
LOUIS: (quiet, spaced out) “I had a bad fight with Harry. I said some stuff I shouldn’t have said.
He said some stuff he definitely shouldn’t have said. It all escalated from there. We both got nasty
and—and I, at least on my side, I can’t speak for him—maybe he’s fine, just fine, maybe he
doesn’t care…” (gulping) “But on my side, I was really hurt. It hurt a lot.”
NIALL: (surprised but hiding it) "What did he say?”
LOUIS: “Stuff...I wasn’t hurt because of that. I mean, it sucked to hear, yeah. It brought me down
but I wasn’t—I’m not hurt because of what he said.”
NIALL: “Then what?”
LOUIS: (trying to compose his breathing) “I was really cruel with him. I cut him off. I interrupted
him. I pushed him. All those things I promised myself I’d never make him go through—everything
I hate other people for, I did all that.” (sniffling) “That was cruel. That was low. I hate myself for it.
Every time I fight, I burn bridges. I go for the jugular. I ruin friendships. I've always been like that.
I bring out the nuclear bombs first--all the stuff they've trusted me with--it's completely despicable.
I hate myself after but in the moment, I can't stop. I run my mouth. It's always too late. I deserve to
be alone."
NIALL: (sympathetic) “No, Lou, you don't. No one deserves to be alone and especially not you.
You do so much for your friends. You'd kill for them, every single one of us. You just have trouble
showing it and every time it looks to you like you've failed you feel bad and try even less next
time. Yesterday, you were angry. You went on the defensive. You can't help when people push
you there. People aren’t their best selves when they fight. And you tend to be very um, impulsive.”
LOUIS: (sighing heavily) “Just talking about it makes me wanna drink again…shit.”
NIALL: (long pause, serious) “Louis, I am not going to pick you up anymore if you get wasted.
I’m done indulging you. It’s unhealthy and it’s becoming a problem. So if you wanna choose that
life, if you wanna drink, be my guest. I’ll still hang out with you all the same...”
LOUIS: “But you won’t care anymore if I puke on myself and cry—I cried, didn’t I? Last night? I
definitely cried.”
NIALL: “You cried yourself to sleep.”
LOUIS: (cursing, face in his hands, humiliated) “I’m so sorry. God, that’s—I’m sorry. I never
meant to put you through that. I never--" (heavy sigh, bites his lip, silence) "I get it. It’s good. You
shouldn’t let me abuse you, like wake you up and make you clean up my shit. It’s good that you’re
giving me the ultimatum.”
NIALL: “I don’t want it to be an ultimatum. I want to be able to support you in whatever you
choose. That’s what best friends do.” (holding his hand) “But I’m worried, Louis. I hate seeing you
in pain and I want to help you not be there again. Yesterday doesn’t have to be a thing you do in
the dark—it can stop being a thing at all. Simon says there are counselors, maybe you should—“
LOUIS: “I won’t do it again.”
NIALL: “Louis.”
LOUIS: “I promise.” (staring at him meaningfully) “I won’t drink myself like that again. Next
time I get out of control, you have the right to give me a proper ultimatum about a counselor. But I
learned my lesson.”
NIALL: “I…don’t know…”
LOUIS: “I don’t wanna lose you and I don’t wanna lose myself so I’ll hold back until I can handle
it.”
NIALL: “And if you can’t—“
LOUIS: (struggling) “I’ll see a counselor.”
Scene 2
[Niall’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, A Week Later, 8:47pm, Bro-Time]
LOUIS: “I’m not upset. I don’t care. I mean what’s the point of caring anyway? It’s long gone
now. Blood under the bridge.”
NIALL: “Water…And if you don’t care, then why aren’t you speaking to him?”
LOUIS: “I don’t want to.”
NIALL: “Louis.”
LOUIS: “What?”
NIALL: “What is this about? It’s been a week. Don’t you think it’s time to—”
LOUIS: “I don’t wanna talk to him.”
NIALL: “You’re being immature. You guys work together. Isn’t it awkward?”
LOUIS: “I asked Simon to switch some shifts around. He wasn’t pleased but probably thought
better than to put fuel with fire. So now I do opposite shifts. I rarely see him. I live a Harry-less life.
I go to work and do my work and don't care.”
NIALL: “You were at a point where stalking and pestering Simon was easier than talking to this
kid? Man, what did he do, spill water on your xbox?”
LOUIS: (shrugs, bitter) “Last time I tried talking to him, he left mid-sentence. I don’t deal with
that shit. I made an attempt. He left. Fine, bitch, suit yourself.”
NIALL: “He left without solving it?”
LOUIS: “He didn’t even let me finish. You know I hate that.”
NIALL: “I know but understand—“
LOUIS: “He didn’t wanna talk it out. He didn’t! He—“
NIALL: “You’re sounding like a kid again.”
LOUIS: (groaning) “His fault.”
NIALL: “Louis, you upset him. You upset him a lot. Zayn said he almost had a mental breakdown
that night.”
LOUIS: (worried) “He did?” (schooling his features into a frown) “How would Zayn know?”
NIALL: “Harry went straight to his after. He has slept over Zayn’s the entire week.”
LOUIS: “Talk about professional keep-your-best-friend-sexless.”
NIALL: (snorts) “Harry is Zayn’s mistress—has been since the start. Perrie gets days. Harry gets
nights.”
LOUIS: (frowning) “Don’t you think that’s weird?”
NIALL: (shrugs) “I don’t care much to have an opinion. They’re close.”

LOUIS: “Did Harry give Zayn a lecture about slipping up? After all, it was Zayn’s big mouth that
ruined this little game all you had going on.” (Niall rolls his eyes, Louis sounds almost hopeful)
“Was Harry furious about it?”
NIALL: “Not at all. Quite the opposite. He was guilty. He thinks it’s all his fault for lying."
LOUIS: “It is his fault. I’m glad he accepts that.”
NIALL: (ignoring him) “He thinks he deserves the way you’re treating him.”
LOUIS: (pausing, unsure) “What way?”
NIALL: “Not talking to him. He thinks it was bound to happen anyway. He’s not terribly
surprised. Has resigned himself really.”
LOUIS: “So what…” (badly hurt, hiding it) “He won’t try to fix it… or what? It's kinda his turn to
try.”
NIALL: “He won’t.”
LOUIS: (gulping, devastated) ‘“Whatever…Don't need him anyway.” (visibly troubled) “They’re
still talking, Harry and Zayn?”
NIALL: “Yeah, Zayn’s the only one who has seen Harry this past week or so. He’s been…sulking,
which has El and Liam worried, which in turn means I have to have this talk with you.”
LOUIS: “So you don’t give a damn about this entire situation but they do and you’re my keeper?”
NIALL: “Something like that. I do give a damn but—“
LOUIS: “But not enough to put up with me if you don’t have to?”
NIALL: (pinching his nose) “That’s not it…I just don’t know what to say. When you get like this,
when you wanna be stubborn about ignoring people, it’s pretty final. You cut them out of your life
and that’s that.”
LOUIS: “Aren’t you going to coax me into fixing it? Bribe me? Threaten me?”
NIALL: “What’s the point? Harry’ll get over it. It’s best this way.”
LOUIS: (stung, shocked) “Wow.”
NIALL: “What?”
LOUIS: (emotional) “You realize how insulting that was, right?”
NIALL: “What was?”
LOUIS: “You basically just said he’s better off without me in his life—which it’s true, I know, we
all know, he himself knows—no one wants me around but as my best friend at least pretend to like
me.”
NIALL: “I do like you, Louis. And I didn’t mean it like that. It came out wrong. I meant that
maybe you two, you and him, just don’t mesh well, personality-wise. Maybe this was supposed to
happen. I don't want to solve this superficially and then end up with another bigger explosion on
my lap. You don't store fireworks next to dynamite.”
LOUIS: “Zayn’s been brainwashing you then? That sounds like something he’d say.”
NIALL: (somber) “Zayn doesn’t want to speak with you anymore.”
LOUIS: (scoffs sarcastically) “Of course. So like him to dump that information on me and wash
his hands.”
NIALL: “He’s really angry with how you treated Harry and he’s scared if he sees you he’ll punch
your lights out.”
LOUIS: “He can try.” (huffing) “He should mind his own business. I think I was right in wanting
to be told the truth.”
NIALL: “He really never mentioned Ed? I thought you knew about his ex. I’m surprised you
never put this puzzle together but then again maybe not that surprised. You are blind to things you
don’t wanna see. It’s a self-protective measure. Plus, you guys were’t really friends back when Ed
was still around.”
LOUIS: “How long ago did they break up?”
NIALL: “It’s been a while, eight months, maybe ten. I can’t remember the exact date he visited
but I know it was the last time. He dumped Harry before he left, I think. He wanted to do it in
person. Harry took a leave of absence…do you remember when he disappeared for a month or so?
That was the time they ended. Harry pretty much broke down completely.”
LOUIS: (hidden worry) “It was that bad?”
NIALL: “Extremely. From what I hear from others, Harry was hysterical. Eleanor said he woke up
every night begging to call Ed—Zayn had to fight him for the phone several times. He had trouble
sleeping. He had trouble eating. He was heartbroken.”
LOUIS: “Jesus Christ. And the bastard did nothing?”
NIALL: “Not quite. Ed always answered texts and he always picked up the phone when Harry was
having a panic attack, talked him out of it, even told him he loved him. But it made it worse for
Harry, hearing Ed, so Zayn eventually told him to never call again until Zayn had fixed his mess.
Zayn and Ed have a bit of a war raging on but they pretend to like each other for Harry’s sake. Ed
thinks it’s Zayn’s fault they broke up...” (quiet, guilty) "We all do...a bit."
LOUIS: “Why?”
NIALL: “Ed and Zayn…They’re possessive. And Harry was their battleground. They both wanted
more time, always, like white rabbit style." (Louis snorts at the reference) "Ed found it annoying
that Harry spent so much time with his friends and Zayn tried his best to make it even more
annoying for Ed. They fought about nights a shit ton, where Harry’d sleep over. I can imagine
Zayn felt threatened when Harry found a best friend that could satisfy all of his needs and Ed felt
threatened knowing Harry loved spending time with Zayn almost as much as he enjoyed having
those needs satisfied.”
LOUIS: (in thought) “Talk about drama.”

NIALL: “Yeah…yeah…” (sighing) “They were high school sweethearts, Ed and Harry. Harry was
nuts about him. I don’t blame him for freaking out. I’m just glad he’s much better now and that’s
all done with.”
LOUIS: (long pause then quietly) “What is he like?”
NIALL: “Hmm…”
LOUIS: “His ex, Ed, what is he like? Did you meet him?”
NIALL: “Yeah, I met him once. They were still together then and Ed came to pick him up from
work with this huge bouquet of flowers. It was their anniversary or something.”
LOUIS: (insistent) “What is he like though?”
NIALL: “Umm, he’s chill, laid-back, caring, gentle, very sweet.”
LOUIS: (can’t help himself) “Is he attractive?”
NIALL: “He’s…strange-looking. Very red-hair but not your typical ginger. Lots of tats, him and
Harry have that in common. Ed has actually tattooed one on Harry.”
LOUIS: (bitter) “Charming.”
NIALL: “He sings. He has an awesome voice. That’s his life-plan, singing. He’s close to making
it big, I hear.”
LOUIS: “I sing too.”
NIALL: “I know you do.”
LOUIS: (obsessing) “What were they like together? Was Harry happy? Was he still awkward and
clumsy and a mess?”
NIALL: “Not with Ed. Ed knew Harry since he was barely legal so Harry hid nothing from him.
Ed pampered him too. Harry had him whipped. Ed did everything to see Harry smile."
LOUIS: (snappy) “Was he happy?”
NIALL: “I mean he was in love so of course, he was glowing or whatever.”
LOUIS: (quietly, more to himself) “So what? They did cliche, sappy, romantic stuff?”
NIALL: “Yeah. Pretty much. Harry and Ed are very similar. They’re both happy-go-lucky,
sentimental, a little silly, slightly awkward. Ed used to write songs for Harry, his entire first album
is Harry-inspired—lots of fluffy, cheesy, romantic songs that had us all barfing but Harry loved it,
absolutely adored it. They sang together at times. Ed pulled him on stage and sang to him in
venues, told everyone he had the most beautiful boyfriend in the world. It was all very pink, puppy-
love.”
LOUIS: (sarcastic) “Wow, what did the loser do to screw that up? His boyfriend sounds freaking
perfect.” (bitter) “Match made in heaven. An idiot for an idiot.”
NIALL: “That I can’t tell you. I don’t know the full story. You’ll have to ask Zayn who hates
you.” (pause, Louis seems more withdrawn) “What’s with the sudden interest? You’re comparing
yourself to him now?”
LOUIS: (fidgets uncomfortably, admitting) “I feel like a replacement.”
NIALL: “You’re not. Is that why you’re mad? You think Harry’s trying to groom you into his
new Ed?”
LOUIS: (flinches, exactly what he's thinking) “I don’t like being some warm blow-up toy.”
NIALL: “Louis, Harry does not look at you the way he looked at Ed." (Louis' entire demeanor
falls) "He’s not looking for that. You can’t give him that and Harry knows.” (chuckles obliviously)
“Besides, you guys couldn’t be more different. Ed’s nothing like you.”
LOUIS: (snarky) “Because he’s boyfriend material and I’m not.”
NIALL: “Exactly. You hate being a boyfriend and Ed lives off of it. He’s his best self in a
relationship.”
LOUIS: “While I don’t even have a best self…” (snorts) “He said I would never be Ed. And he’s
right because you know what I’d never do? Leave. I’d never leave, knowing he would cry and
starve himself.”
NIALL: (somber) “You have left already, Louis. And he is crying.”

Overthink
Chapter 41: Overthink
[Splash Mountain, Walt Disney World in Florida, 4:24pm, Sneak Smoking]
LUKE: (sitting on the curb, cigarette in his fingers) “Don’t tell me I didn’t tell you so.”
LOUIS: (pacing frantically, smoking, deadpanned) “You didn’t tell me so…”
LUKE: “What do you mean? I pretty much said Harry’s gay without saying it.”
LOUIS: “Without saying it being the key words.”
LUKE: “I tried my best to hint. I am required by gay law to never out another person to anyone so
I apologize if I couldn’t be any more damn obvious. We gotta work on your ability to read between
the lines.”
LOUIS: (rolling his eyes, pushing him lightly with his foot so he falls backwards) “Sod off.” (Luke
chuckles, sitting up again) “Why is that a law anyway?”
LUKE: (shrugs) “You just never know if it’s safe.”
LOUIS: “Safe for what?”
LUKE: “For them to be out to that person. There’s always a reason why they haven’t come out yet
and coming out really isn’t an all-or-nothing principle. You might be out to some people but not
others. It all depends on how accepted you feel. It’s not like you decide and ta-da, you prance out
of the closet with the whole world watching.” (stands up to act it out, pretend waving) “Thank you.
Thank you. I’ll be gay all night…or for the rest of my life.” (chuckles with Louis, sits back down)
“It’s all very gray area. I don’t get most of it either. Don’t feel too bad.”
LOUIS: (quiet, nodding slowly) “Luke…” (stalling, looking away) “I uh I wanted to say that if I’ve
ever said anything…anything offensive or that would hurt you…about this gay thing—about you
being gay… Man, I didn’t mean it. I poke fun at everyone—throw insults around like pigeon
bread. It’s not malicious.”
LUKE: “I know that.”
LOUIS: “I just don’t want you to think that I’m purposely throwing shade or being…” (winces)
“Insensitive. Or that you’re not safe with me.”
LUKE: “Louis, I came out to you first. I came out to you before I came out to my best friend, well,
Ashton, whatever that piece of hot ass is.”
LOUIS: “Did I take it well?”
LUKE: “You tell me.”
LOUIS: “No, I mean, what do you think? You think I took it well?”
LUKE: (cocks his head sideways in thinking, grin on his face) “Well…If I remember correctly
you told me that if anyone bullied me for it, you’d kill them so I’d say you took it okay.”
LOUIS: (matter-of-fact) “I would kill them. That hasn’t changed.”
LUKE: (smiling) “I know. But you’d kill anyone who bullies me or Ashton for any reason even if
it’s our own fault.”
LOUIS: “Bullying is wrong always. No one deserves to be bullied. There is no fault involved.”
(pause) “And yes, I’d kill anyone who even thinks of bullying Ashton.”
LUKE: (pouting) “Ash is more important than me?” (catches himself) “Than I. More important
than I?”
LOUIS: (smiles) “He’s more fragile.”
LUKE: (blurted) “Because he cuts.”
LOUIS: (stern) “You’re not supposed to know about that.”
LUKE: “It’s on his arms. I have eyes.”
LOUIS: “Don’t bring it up with him.”
LUKE: “What am I supposed to do? Pretend I don’t notice?”
LOUIS: “Yes. If you’re a good friend and you respect his privacy then don’t ask. That is a very
sensitive topic and bringing attention to it is extremely painful for people who self-harm.”
LUKE: “It’s on his arms!”
LOUIS: “It’s on his arms because he can’t help it. It’s not there because he wants you to see it. He
doesn’t want you or anyone for that matter to see it. So please, pretend you don’t, for his sake,
okay?”
LUKE: “Lou, he might be in danger.”
LOUIS: “He’s not. I have him. He talks to me about it. He’s getting better. It takes time. Just
please…leave it alone.”
LUKE: “Is he sad?”
LOUIS: “No, he’s fine. He’s Ash, always a happy monkey. He just struggles sometimes and that’s
okay. He’s getting better. Compared to how badly he relapsed when he just got here, it’s gotten
better already. It’s slow, the whole stopping thing. But he will stop. Trust me. Everyone stops
eventually…”
LUKE: (opens his mouth, closes it, nods) “As long as you have him.”
LOUIS: “I do.” (changes topics) “The point being I didn’t overreact about the gay thing, right?”
LUKE: (shaking his head) “Nah…”
LOUIS: “Okay. That settles it.”

LUKE: “Settles what?”
LOUIS: “My rightness. How right I am about this fight with Harry.”
LUKE: “You’re fighting with Harry?”
LOUIS: “Not really. Yeah, maybe a little. I don’t know. Not fighting. Just silently arguing from a
distance because he doesn’t want to apologize, which is fine.” (louder, more dramatic) “Fine! Why
do I care? I don’t care. He can continue being wrong…”
LUKE: “Wrong about what?”
LOUIS: “Not wanting to talk to me, duh?”
LUKE: “Did you do anything to him?”
LOUIS: “No…” (struggling) “Not more than he did to me.”
LUKE: (amused) “Have you apologized?”
LOUIS: (opens his mouth, closes it) “Uh…I tried saying hi…”
LUKE: (dry, giving him a look) “Nice.”
LOUIS: “Hey, that’s all he has to do too. He has to just say hi to me and I’ll forget anything that
ever happened and all will be rainbows and flowers and chocolates and stupid books about cancer
kids falling in stupid love…”
LUKE: “What?”
LOUIS: (frustrated) “Why the hell is he not saying hi to me already?! Does he not get how this
turn thing works?”
LUKE: “I don’t get how the turn thing works.”
LOUIS: “It works like this. I try and he tries then we’re friends. Very simple really!”
LUKE: (laughing) “Well, what did you do to him?”
LOUIS: “Nothing!”
LUKE: (raises an eyebrow) “Louis…”
LOUIS: “I…” (struggling, motioning uselessly with his hands) “Might have made a tactless
comment or two.”
LUKE: (unconvinced) “Uh-huh…”
LOUIS: “Or three.”
LUKE: “What about?”
LOUIS: “Him.” (grumbling) “Being gay.”

LUKE: (understanding) “Ah-ha.”
LOUIS: (immediately) “Nothing bad! I’m not mad that he’s gay.”
LUKE: (slowly) “I don’t think you have the right to be—“
LOUIS: “And I’m not! I’m not anything. I’m okay. He’s gay, cool, I mean you’re gay—why is
that any different—“ (nervous) “Why should I care if he’s gay if you’re gay and I’m okay with you
being gay? Huh? He’s just another guy—gay—both. Let everyone be gay for all I care—”
LUKE: “You’re being weird.”
LOUIS: “Because this entire thing is weird. I’m not homophobic!” (Luke looks at him strangely,
Louis gathers himself) “Look…” (taking a deep breath) “Doncaster isn’t really like here. Or New
York. It isn’t the most…accepting place in the world. So growing up there, I wasn’t really
surrounded by gay people. I don’t know if I’m being offensive…accidentally, or without noticing
—which I’m not saying is an excuse but…but I don’t mean it, is what I’m saying. Even if it
happens. I’m just…” (sighing, putting his face in one hand) “Struggling with this homophobic
thing. I don’t want to be a homophobe and I don’t want to be gay and I don’t think that’s
homophobic but maybe it is—It’s just so confusing and everyone keeps sneering at me about it,
which is just making me really angry and when I’m angry I slip up and sabotage myself.”
LUKE: “You’re not homophobic.”
LOUIS: “Thank you! See? Can I get that in writing? You’re pretty much the Ellen of Disney so
the peasants will believe you.”
LUKE: (rolls his eyes) “You’re just…” (cautious) “Ignorant.”
LOUIS: (a noise between a whine and scoff, sarcastic) “Great! Don’t let Zayn get his hands on
that one.”
LUKE: “When it comes to this.” (Louis seems confused) “Like you said, you’ve never really met
many gay people so you don’t understand a lot of the things they go through or how they feel
about stuff. That’s called being ignorant but it’s not your fault. It’s society’s fault.” (light-hearted)
“I say blame everything on society.”
LOUIS: “Bottom line is I don’t care about labels. You’re my friend. That’s what I care about. You
can be whatever you want and I’ll still care about you.”
LUKE: (pause) “I think you should be telling Harry this, Lou. I never doubted you. We’re not
fighting last time I checked.”
LOUIS: “I was practicing.”
LUKE: “Ah.”
LOUIS: “Was that any good?”
LUKE: “Maybe less…” (finding his words) “Saying the word gay.”
LOUIS: (rapid fire) “Why? That’s what he is. Gay. Right? Nothing wrong with being gay.”
LUKE: (nodding, cringe on his face) “Yeah…makes you look, I don’t know, uncomfortable.”
LOUIS: (snorts nervously) “I’m not uncomfortable.”
LUKE: “Yeah… How about you work on that apology instead… It could start like, I’m sorry I
offended you—“
LOUIS: “You should have told me you were fucking gay—or fucking gays, in your free time, in
the bed, you shared with me, while you were there, I was there, I mean, not like I should have
known or anything…”
LUKE: (palms his face) “Just…just cut off at ‘I’m sorry I offended you’. End. Gives it a sharp
little closure…That doesn’t have that whole incredibly-jealous-ex-husband-who-just-got-out-of-jail
feel.”
LOUIS: “What?!”
LUKE: (makes a face) “Come to think of it…Do you need to apologize to him? I mean, really?
Maybe it’s best if you just said hi and was a normal person.”
LOUIS: “You’re right. Why even apologize?”
LUKE: “Normal. Person. You know?”
LOUIS: “Like?”
LUKE: “Like what we usually talk about when you’re not freaking out over who slept in Harry’s
bed.”
LOUIS: “I did! I slept in his bed. I wore his lover’s clothes. What is this?”
LUKE: “A slumber party where you got cold?”
LOUIS: “Luke!”
LUKE: “Dude, who even cares?” (Louis raises his eyebrow) “Okay, you care but you shouldn’t.
He made a mistake. He won’t give you clothes again.”
LOUIS: (irritated) “That’s not…I don’t see how that…I want him to give me clothes. Just not the
ones that his ex wore.”
LUKE: (exhausted) “Then tell him that. Tell him that and get this over with already. Jeez.”
LOUIS: “Okay, how’s this? I’m sorry you decided to think I was your ex.”
LUKE: (pause where Luke winces sharply) “No. That was not good at all.”
LOUIS: (spiraling down) “I’m sorry I’m much better than your ex.”
LUKE: (shaking his head rapidly) “Not getting better.”
LOUIS: (panicked) “I’m sorry you happen to be gay.”
LUKE: “Definitely not.”
LOUIS: (frustrated) “I’m sorry I don’t know what to be sorry about.”

LUKE: (raises an eyebrow) “That could work…”
LOUIS: (riled up) “I’m sorry I don’t understand why you’re adamant on ignoring me now when
it’s fucking clear that I’m sorry!”
LUKE: “You’re getting confusing. Less—“
LOUIS: (exploding) “I’m sorry I can’t seem to function well without you!”
LUKE: (taken aback, concerned) “Dude…”
LOUIS: (snaps back) “Sorry. I…” (sighs) “Am losing my mind. I’ll figure it out. Or not. Or I
won’t.”
LUKE: “All you have to say is ‘I’m sorry’. Doesn’t have to be any longer…”
LOUIS: (down) “I already said that.” (looking away) “And it wasn’t good enough. And that is the
real thing I’m sorry about—not being good enough.”
Overlook
Chapter 42: Overlook
Scene 1
[Zayn’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 8:10pm, Night Before Flight]
HARRY: (sitting on Zayn’s bed) “This is going to be the last nail in my coffin.”
ZAYN: (grabbing clothes from drawers) “Don’t be melo.”
HARRY: “I’m serious. This is how I die.” (slumps on the bed dramatically) “You’ll come back to
me dead. Write my eulogy on the flight back.”
ZAYN: “It’s a week, H. I’ll be gone a week. You’ll survive.”
HARRY: “How sure of that are you?”
ZAYN: “Sixty percent.”
HARRY: (chuckles) “Not good odds at all!”
ZAYN: “You got into Columbia. The admission rate is six percent.”
HARRY: “I dropped out too, after a year, a semester and a half really. Clearly I wasn’t cut out for
it.”
ZAYN: “Yeah, they made a mistake with you.”
HARRY: “Definitely did…” (pause, Zayn packs some more) “Zay…”
ZAYN: “You’ll be fine.” (looks at him) “You will. Don’t make me more worried than I already
am.”
HARRY: “Why are you worried if I’ll be fine?”
ZAYN: (shrugs, both look at each other unsurely) “I don’t know…”
HARRY: “Me neither…” (rolling on his front, face in a pillow) “I should probably leave tonight,
huh? So you can…” (tone getting quieter) “Perrie…”
ZAYN: (not looking at him, folding clothes) “Probably.”
HARRY: (after a few minutes of silence) “Do you want me to leave?”
ZAYN: (gives up on the bag, sits on the bed) “I don’t know.”
HARRY: (crawls his way to the edge, sitting beside him, worried) “I’ll leave.” (guilty) “I’m
sorry.”
ZAYN: (shakes his head) “Nothing to be sorry about.”

HARRY: (bites his lip) “You’re upset though.”
ZAYN: “Yeah. Not much. A bit.”
HARRY: “Is she upset?”
ZAYN: “No. She loves you. She doesn’t care and I don’t either. Sleep here as much as you want.
I’m not upset about that.”
HARRY: (small) “What are you upset about?”
ZAYN: (looking at the bag, not Harry) “Knowing you’ll call him.”
HARRY: “I…”
ZAYN: (stands up) “Bunch of bullshit.” (kicks at the bag, Harry doesn’t even flinch) “What’s the
point? He’s not…” (turns towards Harry) “Whats the point of pursuing him after he dumped you?”
HARRY: “There is none. I’m dumb.”
ZAYN: “But you will call him?”
HARRY: “I don’t know…” (smoothing out the sheet beside him) “Because I don’t know how bad
I’ll be without you to keep me together.”
ZAYN: “Just a week.”
HARRY: (parroting, empty) “Yup. A week. A week’s nothing.”
ZAYN: “You’ll call me and you’ll have Liam and El. Nothing’ll happen.”
HARRY: (nodding, quiet) “I’ll miss you.”
ZAYN: “Harry—“
HARRY: “Just a week, I know. I don’t even know why we’ve been talking about it for so long.
I’m being stupid. I’m gonna go make some dinner and let you finish.” (stands up, grabs his bag
from the couch) “Have fun in Cali. Make it fun.”
ZAYN: (still worried, grabbing his forearm, Harry turns around confused) “You’re not gonna hug
me goodbye now?”
HARRY: (smiles, thankful) “Whatever.” (moves into the hug, nuzzling Zayn’s neck) “Don’t do
anything stupid.”
ZAYN: (laughing) “I was just about to say that.” (pulls back, keeps Harry at arm’s length) “I’ll
miss you, okay? But I know you’ll be fine. You don’t need me and you definitely don’t need him.”
HARRY: (nods, looks at him closely, pursuing his lips) “I need one of you. I’m just trying to
figure out whom I need more.”
ZAYN: “You made this decision once. No need to keep suffering it this long.” (tightening his
grasp on Harry’s arm) “You picked me.”
HARRY: “I picked right.” (stepping away and towards the door) “Tell Perrie she can sleep at
mine if she’s feeling lonely. And tell Scooter that he should have asked me to come. I have yet to
be invited and I’m starting to feel a little jealous.”
ZAYN: (chuckling) “Don’t know if you wanna spend a week with Scooter Braun or anyone in
their cast. Last time Louis went, he punched the shit out of this Tom kid and had to be brought back
two days early. They’re not very friendly with Disney World people since.”
HARRY: “Yikes. Well, I don’t punch people—“ (Zayn gives him a look) “Oh, come on. That was
once.”
ZAYN: “Try to not make it twice while I’m gone, eh?”
Scene 2
[Splitsville Bowling, Downtown Disney, 8:43pm, Bowling For Bitches]
LIAM: (watching the ball slide down) “She’s a bitch. There’s no two ways about it. I’m in love
with a bitch.”
LOUIS: (sitting in the chair, sipping lemonade with a straw) “Where there two ways about it last
time?”
LIAM: “What last time?”
LOUIS: “The last time she cheated and you took her back.”
LIAM: (ball crashes into five pins) “She was drunk that time.”
LOUIS: (unimpressed) “Uh-huh… You know what they say, man, once a cheater—“
LIAM: “That’s not helpful, Louis.”
LOUIS: “Can I at least finish my phrase?”
LIAM: (nodding in mocking, sarcastic) “Oh, yeah! Sure! Excuse my interruption. You go. Tell
me.”
LOUIS: (smirking) “—Always a cheater.”
LIAM: (nodding, mock surprise) “Still not helpful.”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “I don’t know what you expect from me. I cheated on my last and only girlfriend
—didn’t even feel bad about it. If anything I’m with the enemy.”
LIAM: (holding out a ball for him) “Your turn.” (as Louis gets up) “I was expecting you to say,
yes, Liam, she doesn’t deserve you. Let’s go out and get smashed until you’re drunk enough not to
cry when you kiss someone else. If you forgot, you just had to scream ‘line’ and I’d have given it
to you.”
LOUIS: “Ah.” (purposeful pause, smirks) “Line?”
LIAM: (dramatic groaning as he walks back) “Say whatever’s on your mind. Don’t sugarcoat it
for me.”
LOUIS: (rolls his ball, turns around before it even hits anything, clearly not caring about the
game) “Well, you love her. Isn’t love about forgiveness?” (afterthought) “Lots of things should be
about forgiveness really.”
LIAM: (nursing his beer) “Love is about trust and exclusivity.”
LOUIS: “No, relationships are about exclusivity. Love is just love. You can love people without
wanting them to be yours. You can love people when they’re not yours at all.”
LIAM: (motioning behind him) “Go again.” (Louis turns back around) “I get that. But love and
jealousy are in an exclusive relationship, unfortunately. You can’t be in love with someone and not
get jealous when they don’t seem to care.” (stands up) “Plus, I’m not about seeing my girl in the
arms of some random man. It stings.”
LOUIS: (all the pins fall, Louis shrugs) “I get that.” (quoting) “As the king says, ‘I don’t wanna
flip when I see you with guys. Too much pride, between you and I, not a jealous man, but females
lie.’” (to himself) “Man, he’s such a genius.”
LIAM: (snorts) “Who do you mean?”
LOUIS: (mock shock) “Why Eminem, of course. And here I thought you were all thug life, tank
tops and bandanas. He should be your role model, white boy.”
LIAM: “Don’t know if I should be taking advice from Eminem when it comes to women.”
LOUIS: “Don’t know if you should be taking advice from me. I don’t know women beyond the
look they give me when I tell them to make me coffee in the morning before they leave, never to
called again.”
LIAM: “I forget you’re a douche.”
LOUIS: “Practical.”
LIAM: “A practical douche.”
LOUIS: (back to his drink) “Did she apologize?”
LIAM: (his turn) “Yeah, but words mean shit.”
LOUIS: (quieter) “I mean…they mean something, apologies. They mean the person does regret it.
It means the problem has been on their mind for a while now and they are desperate to make it
better. It takes effort for people to apologize. She’s probably sorry.”
LIAM: “Sometimes actions speak louder than words. If she really loved me, she’d prove that to
me by giving up other men. It’s about sacrifice. We’re both making sacrifices.”
LOUIS: “They have to be equal. It looks to me as if you sacrifice so much more than she does.
Maybe that’s why it doesn’t work. You want relationships to feel balanced, like you’ve both been
there for each other, both your feelings are on the line. You’re both not so perfect.” (loud slurp of
the drink, mumbled straw in his mouth) “Equally embarrassing. That’s what they have to be.”
LIAM: (sighs deeply, finishes his beer) “I’m gonna order another beer. You want one?”
LOUIS: (hesitates, pursing his lips, looking at the lemonade in his hand) “Um…no. I’ll be fine.
I’m…” (struggling to convince himself) “Having a virgin night.”
LIAM: (confused) “Ah. Been having a lot of those recently. You’re having stomach problems?”
LOUIS: “Yeah—no. No, I’m not. I’ve just been a little off lately and alcohol makes it worse.”
(watching Liam sulk) “Why don’t you ask Zayn? He’s been with Perrie for an eternity and a half.
He should know.”
LIAM: “He’s like you. With the enemy or whatever.”
LOUIS: (interested) “He’s cheated before?”
LIAM: (shrugs) “Rumor has it he cheats all the time. But it’s a rumor. Lots of rumors aren’t true.
People have been doubting Zayn ever since he brought Harry in the picture.”
LOUIS: “They think what? That they’re sucking each other’s dicks behind closed doors.”
LIAM: (uncomfortable, shifting topics) “Zayn’s out of town anyway. He’s in Cali this week.”
LOUIS: (makes a face) “I hope he dies in that hellhole. I hope Braun and his pack of hyenas eats
his insides for dinner.”
LIAM: (amused) “That what happened to you?”
LOUIS: “No, what happened was a little pipsqueak thought it was funny to make a joke about me
being in Narnia and I had to kick his tiny balls so they got lodged up his throat to teach him a
lesson. They’re all a bunch of tools. That’s a requirement to work in DisneyLand, be a tool. Have
you seen Justin? Have you?” (mock shudders) “The more I think of it, the more Zayn belongs
there. I hope they forget him there, like a lost suitcase filled with moth-eaten jackets.”
LIAM: (amused) “Give Z a break. You hurt his protege. You’d have reacted the same way if
someone had told Luke off about him being gay and he came running to you in tears.”
LOUIS: (long pause, realization) “Oh…”
Scene 3
[Harry - Ed Texting Thread]
04/03/14 21:23
[HARRY] Tu me manque, cheri.
[ED] idem xx
Scene 4
[Jellyrolls Bar, Disney Broadwalk, 12:45am, Couple Days Later, Rebound Refound]
LOUIS: (sober, leaning back on the booth, a girl so tight against him, she’s practically on his lap,
looks at Liam’s phone buzzing on the table, annoyed) “Eleanor is calling you. Please do not pick it
up. The witch will ruin our night.”
LIAM: (looks at the phone, laughs) “Yeah, I’ll call her back or something.”
GIRL #1: (leaning on the table, teasing) “Who’s Eleanor? Your girlfriend?”
LIAM: (snorts) “Nope. I no longer have one of those. She was Louis’ girlfriend for a while
though, right, pretty boy?”
GIRL #1: “Was she really?” (touching Louis’ knee, squeezing it, leaning closer) “Was she a good
girlfriend? Did she satisfy you?”
LOUIS: (rolling his eyes at the obvious flirting) “She wasn’t my girlfriend. I don’t date.” (looking
at her, noticing how close she is, looking away, annoyed) “And she’d have been a horrible
girlfriend, either way. She was far too happy all the time.” (inching away to put some distance
between them) “I wonder what she wants…”
LIAM: (snorts) “Oh now you’re curious?”
GIRL #1: (giggling) “I don’t date either. I just, you know…” (flapping her eyelashes) “Have fun. I
like to have fun without commitments.” (pouting her lips) “I think we’re similar…don’t you
think?”
LOUIS: (blunt) “Sure. Zayn’s calling you now. All the way from Scooter’s asshole. What is it
with these people? Can’t some of us enjoy our time off?” (clearly not enjoying any of what's
happening) “Silence your phone or something.”
LIAM: “I should pick this up, probably.” (humming, debating, phone stops ringing, chuckles)
“Too late I guess.” (shrugs) “I’ll tell him I was sleeping…”
GIRL #2: (hanging on his arm) “Or doing other things.”
LOUIS: (snorts) “He’ll live.”
LIAM: (phone buzzes, his face suddenly drops completely into real worry) "Oh.”
LOUIS: (catching on) “What’s happened?”
LIAM: “I have to call him back, just a second.”
GIRL #2: “Oh, must you?”
LIAM: (serious) “Yes. Excuse me for a second?” (dials the number, still in the booth, phone on
his ear) “Zayn, yeah, what’s up? Is he okay?”
ZAYN: (on the phone, almost panicked) “Harry has hay fever. It’s pretty bad.”
LIAM: (forehead creasing) “How bad?”
ZAYN: “He’s in bed. He can’t move. He’s doped up on meds. Not doing too swell.”
LIAM: “Crap.” (fidgeting) “As bad as last time?”
LOUIS: (worried) “What’s going? Who’s hurt?”
GIRL #1: (playing with Louis’ hair) “So what do you guys like to do for fun?”
LOUIS: (pulls away, irritated) “One second.”

GIRL #1: “Do you guys like to party—“
LOUIS: (angry) “One second, hush for a second, I’m trying to figure this out.”
LIAM: “You need me over? What does he need?”
ZAYN: “He’s with Eleanor. I’m just not there and worried—Are you busy right now?”
LIAM: “Nah, it’s fine. I can leave whenever. What does he need? He needs me there to help him?
I can take over for Eleanor since she works early.”
GIRL #2: (whiny) “Are you leaving? But baby…”
LIAM: “I’m on the phone, darling, please.”
LOUIS: (frustrated, curious) “What does Zayn want?”
ZAYN: “Are you sure you can leave? You sound...busy. I could call Niall. He’s around. I just
thought you’d be in the village and he needs something to eat. Plus, he knows you better.”
LIAM: “I am in the village and don’t worry, I’ll pick up food on the way back. Don’t wake up
Niall for no reason.”
LOUIS: “Liam, what the hell is going on?”
GIRL #2: “Are you leaving us? No, stay, come on. The fun is just starting.”
LIAM: (off the phone, angry) “My friend is really sick right now and I need to go—“
GIRL #1: “You can see him tomorrow.”
LIAM: (ignoring her, on the phone again) “Talk to me, Zayn. I’m sorry they’re being so difficult
right now.” (already moving out of the booth) “Let me through please.” (back on the phone) “Does
he need meds? Benedryl? Anything?”
LOUIS: (angry) “What are you doing? Where are you going?”
ZAYN: “They have meds. Get the food and just…” (audibly worried) “Keep an eye on him until
I’m back, please?”
LIAM: “No worries. I’ll be there. He’ll be fine.”
ZAYN: “Thanks, man. Sorry for ruining your night and…cockblocking you? You broke up with
Soph? Never mind. Explain when I’m back. I’ll buy you a drink to make up for this.”
LIAM: “Eh, I’ll survive. He’s more important.” (hangs up, dials another number)
LOUIS: “Liam! Explain.”
GIRL #2: “Liam!”
LIAM: “I need to make this phone call so if you could just—My friend’s sick, okay? I don’t know
what more I have to tell you to get you to sit tight for a second. This isn’t a joke. Someone’s—“ (on
the phone) “Yeah, hi, El, sorry I missed your call. I was…” (looks around, regretful) “Busy. Are
you with him?”
LOUIS: (vicious, annoyed) “Liam! Who's sick?” (more panicked) "Is it Harry? What's wrong with
him? Is he hurt?”
ELEANOR: “I’m in his room. He’s in bed. He’s…frustrated. Are you coming over?”
LIAM: “I’ll be there soon. How is he looking?”
LOUIS: (worried and hurt at being left out, growling) “Mind filling me in, mate?”
LIAM: (to Louis) “I will in a second.” (to Eleanor) “Can he eat? What should I get him?”
ELEANOR: “He goes from pained to passed out. I don’t know if he’ll want to eat but bring him a
sandwich or something. He doesn’t like onions or olives.”
LIAM: “Sandwich, no onions, no olives. Got it. I’ll be there in thirty. See you soon.” (hangs up)
“Sorry, Louis. I—“
GIRL #2: (latches on to his arm, puckers up flirtatiously) “Don’t leave, Liam.”
GIRL #1: “Yeah, come on, stay.”
LIAM: “I told you my friend is sick…” (to Louis, in explanation) “Harry’s really sick. He’s not
well and Zayn can’t be with him so I have to be there. I have to go check on him. I’m sorry.”
GIRL #2: “Why do you have to see him tonight?”
LIAM: (irritated) “Because he’s one of my best mates and he’s in bed in a lot of pain, so I wanna
go make sure he’s okay because I care about him more than I care about this. What part of that
does not make sense to you?” (to Louis) “I’ll see you around, man?”
LOUIS: (hurt) “Are you not gonna ask me if I wanna come with?”
GIRL #1: “Why do you both have to go?”
LIAM: “I thought I already knew the answer. You’re staying because you wanna do this and
you’re not really in the best terms with Harry. That’s fine. El and I will take care of him.”
LOUIS: (sulking) “He wouldn’t want me there anyway.” (biting his lip, pleading with his eyes)
“He’d probably be upset if I came…”
LIAM: (putting on a jacket) “It’s fine. Have fun. Enjoy the rest of your night.”
LOUIS: (disappointed) “He already has all his friends there. He has what he needs.” (clearly
wants to be proven wrong, wants to be invited)
LIAM: “I’m telling you it’s fine. Don’t feel guilty. He doesn’t expect you to be there.”
LOUIS: (voice thick in hurt, gulping, looking down) “Right, of course not. Why would I be there?
It’s not like we’re friends.”
LIAM: “I’m gone. Good bye, ladies. Get home safe, Louis. Don’t get too drunk, please. I don’t
wanna deal with two passed out people.”
LOUIS: (worried) “He’s passed out? Maybe he needs a hospital. I can drive. I’m sober. He might
need me.”
LIAM: “We have him. He’ll be fine. Are you listening to me though? Don’t get wasted.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, fine. I won’t.” (crushed, trying to compose himself) “I’ll be celebrating without
you…Make sure…” (to himself) “He’s okay…” (long sigh)
Overall
Chapter 43: Overall
Scene 1
[Louis’ Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 4:03am, The Thorn Forest]
LOUIS: (tossing and turning, awake in bed, grumbling) “Sleep, dumb brain…” (burrows his face
in his pillow, groans) “Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.” (picks his head up, sighs, blows his bangs out
of his face) “Okay, fine, one call…” (pats the table-side until he has his phone, dials number)
ELEANOR: (on the other side, sleepy, groggy) “Hello?”
LOUIS: “Hey, it’s Louis.”
ELEANOR: (lowering her voice) “Hey, this is not a good time. Call tomorrow.”
LOUIS: “No, wait, El, hey!”
ELEANOR: (concerned) “Are you okay? Did you get home alright?”
LOUIS: “Yes, I’m home.”
ELEANOR: “Are you too drunk?”
LOUIS: “No, I didn’t drink. I don’t drink anymore now.”
ELEANOR: “What do you need then?”
LOUIS: “Well, I just wanted ask something.”
ELEANOR: “It’s late, Louis. I don’t even know how late…really late.”
LOUIS: “Quickly. I’ll do it quickly.”
ELEANOR: “What it is?”
LOUIS: (with difficulty) “Are you at Harry’s?”
ELEANOR: “Mhmm.”
LOUIS: (worried) “Is he doing okay? How is he?”
ELEANOR: “He’s okay. He’s sleeping.”
LOUIS: “Can I come see him?”
ELEANOR: (unsure) “…Sure, come by.”
LOUIS: (already jumping out of bed, breathless) “Okay, I’m coming.”

ELEANOR: “Wait, now?!”
LOUIS: “Yeah, can I?”
ELEANOR: “Louis, it’s the middle of the night. Come tomorrow when he’s awake.”
LOUIS: “No, I wanna come now.”
ELEANOR: “He’s sleeping.”
LOUIS: “I won’t wake him. It’ll be five minutes.” (reluctantly) “I just need to see he’s okay.”
(small) “Can I?”
ELEANOR: “He’ll make it to tomorrow without you.”
LOUIS: (snappy) “I know that!” (lowering his voice) “I know that but I wanna see him.”
ELEANOR: “He’s asleep. He’s not an exciting sight.”
LOUIS: (desperate) “Please, El. Please. My insomnia is killing me. I’m literally worried sleepless
right now.” (frustrated) “I need to do this. I just need to see he’s okay so I can relax and go to bed. I
wouldn’t have called you if this wasn’t important. I wouldn’t be awake at this time…”
ELEANOR: (pause followed by a sigh) “Okay, come over. I’ll open the door for you.”
Scene 2
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 4:16am, The Sleeping Beauty Kiss]
ELEANOR: (opening the door, wearing a sweatshirt, yawning) “Hi.”
LOUIS: (ignoring her, immediately barging into the room) “How’s he doing?” (walks in, notices
Harry in bed, looking pale and sick, under several layers of blankets) “He doesn’t look too good.
He looks really sick. How do you know he doesn’t need a hospital?”
ELEANOR: “He doesn’t. It’s normal. He’s just really drugged right now.” (Harry coughs then
whimpers)
LOUIS: (alarmed) "He can't breathe properly!" (approaching closer, leaning down to get a closer
look) “He’s in pain with every breath. You think this is normal?”
ELEANOR: (rolling her eyes) “It is. Trust me, I’ve done this before. He's congested. It comes
with the territory. Zayn said he’ll be fine as long as he sleeps and takes his meds.”
LOUIS: (sits down next to Harry on the bed, not moving his eyes from Harry since he got in) “Was
it bad? Was he bad? Was he hurting?”
ELEANOR: “Yeah, but he always gets like this. It’s not new to him.”
LOUIS: “This is recurring, you mean?”
ELEANOR: “Hay fever? Yeah. Many people get it. His is just really intense. He usually can’t
even open his eyes when it hits. Now it’s probably coupled with a cold.”
LOUIS: “Did you call in sick for him?” (gently touches Harry’s hair, moving it away from his
face) “You’re covering him too much. He’s hot. (palms Harry’s forehead) “Get some of this crap
off.” (pulls away some of the covers) “He’s sweating. What are you doing to him?”
HARRY: (stirs in his sleep when the covers fly off, mumbles, sounds very sick) “Water, please.”
LOUIS: (concerned) “He wants a drink.”
ELEANOR: “There's a glass on the bedside table." (points to the glass) “Help him with it.”
LOUIS: "He has water bottles in the fridge, very bottom. Give me one of those with the sippy top."
(still caressing Harry's hair) “We’re getting you water, Hazza. Sit tight for a bit.”
HARRY: (quiet) “Thank you.”
ELEANOR: (hands him a bottle from the fridge) “Here.” (moves away again, observing them,
fascinated) I didn't know those were there.”
LOUIS: (touching his face to wake him up) “Harry, you wanted water, babe?” (caressing his
cheek) “Lemme help you up.”
HARRY: (nods slowly, eyes still shut tight, tries to force his way up, very weak, stumbling all over
the sheets to fall back down, meek, brokenly) “Help…”
LOUIS: (immediately holds him) “Right here.” (drags him gently so he’s sitting up, leaning
forward on Louis’ body, head still lolling sideways on Louis’ shoulder) “How are you feeling?”
HARRY: “It’s hot. Too hot. Want water.”
LOUIS: “I know. They’re frying you.” (puts the bottle next to his lips) “Here. Drink.”
HARRY: (places his hand over Louis’ in an attempt to hold the bottle himself, Louis doesn’t let
go, lets Harry cling to his wrist, Harry drinks very slowly before pulling away) “Thanks.”
LOUIS: “Wanna change out of your shirt?” (touching his back) “You’re drenched in sweat right
now.”
HARRY: (nodding, can barely breathe let alone speak) "Yes, please."
LOUIS: (to Eleanor) "Get him a fresh t-shirt." (noticing she's standing there, confused) "Third
drawer on that dresser."
ELEANOR: "Wow, you have this place memorized." (handing him the shirt) "Do you need help?"
LOUIS: "I got him." (to Harry) "Help me out a bit here, Haz?" (gently takes off Harry's shirt, arm
by arm, and uses it to wipe the sweat off his back before throwing it on the floor) “Good boy.
Almost there.”
HARRY: (shivering) "Cold now."
LOUIS: "I know. Here, give me your arm.” (guides him into the other t-shirt, arranging it on his
body) “Okay now?"
HARRY: (nodding again before mumbling) “Bed now.” (makes to lean down, pulls Louis with
him by his shirt)
LOUIS: (lowers him to the bed softly, still half hugging him) “Do you need anything else?”
HARRY: (mumbled, yawning) “Stay.”
LOUIS: (bites his lip, torn, sighing) “I can’t.”
HARRY: (whining) “No, stay…”
LOUIS: (pulls away, trying to detach himself) “No, no.”
HARRY: (pleading, small) “Please!”
LOUIS: (sighs, lowers back down, forehead against Harry’s, whispers) “Not tonight."
HARRY: (brokenly) "Lou, please…”
LOUIS: (touched) "Soon, I promise, okay? Soon.” (seeing Harry nod slightly) “Good. Get better
for me.” (pulls away, arranging the covers on him) “Stay warm.”
ELEANOR: (cautiously) “You could stay if you want…I can always—“
LOUIS: “I can’t.” (lies, uncomfortable) “I have someone over…”
ELEANOR: “Oh.” (clipped) “I see…”
LOUIS: (standing up, reluctantly) “Take care of him.”
ELEANOR: “Sure.” (both walking towards the door) “He’ll be fine.”
LOUIS: (turning around) “Oh, and Eleanor?”
ELEANOR: “Yeah?”
LOUIS: “Don’t tell him I came over tonight.”
ELEANOR: (frowning) “Why not?”
LOUIS: “Just…don’t. Do me this favor. It’s simpler for the both of us.”
ELEANOR: (hesitant, clearly confused) “Okay, then. I won’t mention anything.”
LOUIS: “Thanks…” (walking down a few steps) “And call me…if he needs anything.”
ELEANOR: “I will. Don’t worry… Sleep well.”
Scene 3
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 4:36am, Change of Heart]
ELEANOR: (phone buzzes as Eleanor is getting comfortable on the bed again, picks it up) “Did
you forget—“
LOUIS: “Open the door.”
ELEANOR: “This door?”
LOUIS: “No, the door to god’s kingdom, Eleanor. Yes, this door, his door.”
ELEANOR: (walks gingerly towards the door, hangs up, opens it) “What happened—“
LOUIS: (looking down, blushing furiously, gritting the words out) “I’ll stay with him tonight.”
ELEANOR: “But you said—“
LOUIS: (forcefully) “I’ll stay.” (sighing shakily) “Okay?” (after a pause) “Please.”
ELEANOR: (torn) “Okay… Sure… Okay.” (walks back in the room, picks up her bag silently
while Louis sits on the bed again) “You’ll be okay? You have work tomorrow?”
LOUIS: “No, but…” (wincing, hating himself) “But I don’t want him—“
ELEANOR: “To know you were here. Got it. I’ll tell Liam to come earlier. Be awake though so
you can open the door for him.”
LOUIS: (too focused on Harry, barely listening) “Mhmm.” (looking away to see her leave) “He’s
safe with me. You should know. I know you all think I…” (chewing on his lip) “Hate him or
something…but I don’t. I would never hurt him.”
ELEANOR: (before closing the door) “I know that…”
LOUIS: “But Zayn doesn’t.”
ELEANOR: “Neither does Harry.” (door codes gently but Harry startles awake nonetheless)
HARRY: (mumbled, eyes closed) “El?”
LOUIS: (touching his hair) “Hey loser.”
HARRY: (hopeful) “Louis?”
LOUIS: “Yup.” (crawls over Harry to settle beside him) “Just me.” (hugs Harry to his chest
though he’s much shorter) “Just Lou.”
HARRY: (smiling broadly, nuzzling the pillow, slurring) “My little jetpack.”
Scene 4
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 4:46am, A Large Dose of Reality]
LOUIS: (still awake, holding Harry, phone rings on the bedside table closest to Harry, Louis
flinches at the sound) “Eleanor, I swear to god, I’ll chop you into pieces and cook you into fried
rice…” (reaches over for it)
HARRY: (stirs awake, tiredly) “Lemme…” (pulls out his hand to reach where Louis is holding
the phone in front of him, sees the screen, jumps slightly, happiness clear in his voice) “Teddy!”
(tries to grab the phone, in disbelief) “He called!”
LOUIS: (pulls it away before Harry can touch it) “Your ex?”
HARRY: “Yeah, Ed…” (stretching to grab the phone, clear he’s trying much harder to move/stay
awake) “Gimme.”
LOUIS: (hesitates) “Not a good idea.” (places the phone behind his back) “We’re not talking to
him tonight.”
HARRY: (shifts to look back at Louis, eyes squinted in confusion) “But—“
LOUIS: (lightly touches his bangs) “Zayn’s a piece of shit. But in this case, he’s right. It’s best
you don’t talk to your ex, especially when you’re feeling down.”
HARRY: “He wants to know I’m okay.” (excited) “He’s worried about me.”
LOUIS: “Tomorrow.” (hugs him tighter to distract him) “Call him tomorrow.”
HARRY: (whiny) “He won’t pick up. Now.” (wiggling) “I have to now…”
LOUIS: (frowns) “He’ll pick if he really cares to know you’re okay.”
HARRY: (pleading) “One minute?”
LOUIS: (maintaing eye contact) “I can leave and you can talk to him for as long as you please…”
HARRY: (shocked silent, gulps) “Louis…”
LOUIS: “He’s not good for you. You’re sick. I have to take care of you and he’s not good so I
won’t let you talk to him when I’m around. Tomorrow you can do whatever you want.”
HARRY: (smiles sadly, knowingly) “Because you’ll leave again…”
LOUIS: (bites his lip) “Yeah. Or I can leave now if you want me out—if you want him instead.”
HARRY: (sighs, nuzzles back in bed, closes his eyes) “Nah…” (grabs Louis’ hand that still
around his waist) “Tonight I have you. Tomorrow, I’ll go back to him.”
LOUIS: (hugging him, whispered in Harry’s hair, desperate) “How can I not feel like a
replacement when you say stuff like that?”
HARRY: (sleepy, thinking out loud) “If you were Ed’s replacement, I wouldn’t need Ed…” (small
smile on his face) “And I’d have kissed you by now.” (Louis freezes in shock, Harry doesn’t
notice) “You’re just a friend.” (pause) “If that.”
LOUIS: (moves away abruptly, shuffles out of bed, breathy) “I can’t do this.” (stands up, frazzled)
“I’m sorry, I can’t…” (shakes his head) “Do this.” (starts heading for the door, visibly torn) “It’s
too painful.”
HARRY: (not conscious enough to realize what’s happening) “Good night, Louis.”
LOUIS: (right next to the open door, barely audible) “I’m so sorry...” (leaves, door gently closes
shut)
Scene 5
[Harry - Ed Texting Thread]
04/06/14 4:52
[ED] Sunshine, I know you’re sick right now. You have me worried.
[ED] Are you alone? Is Zayn with you? Do you have help?
[ED] Feel free to call me if you need me. Always here for you. xx
04/06/14 5:13
[ED] rstp
[HARRY] tqt
[HARRY] jtm
Scene 6
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 8:46am, The Most Guy of Guys]
HARRY: (stumbling to open the door, looking sick, greets Liam) “Hey.”
LIAM: (surprised) “Hey there. Sorry I woke you up…” (confused) “I thought someone was here
with you to open the door…Are you alone?” (worried) “Were you alone all night?”
HARRY: (walking back to the bed, Liam behind him) “No, no…El just left to go to work.”
LIAM: (jumping on the bed as well, next to him) “Oh. I just missed her then?”
HARRY: (cuddling his pillow) “Yup. Barely.”
LIAM: “How are you feeling, darling?”
HARRY: (teasing) “Much better now that you called me that…”
LIAM: (chuckles) “Zayn’s worried sick about you.”
HARRY: (sighing) “I miss him.”
LIAM: (silence, suddenly) “Harry, are you in love with him?”
HARRY: (eyes closed, breathy laughter) “Who? Ed, Zayn or Louis?” (Liam’s breath hitches)
“The answer is no for all three. I don’t fall in love with people I haven’t a cat in hell’s chance of
winning.”
LIAM: (still half-shocked, blurts) “Convenient.”
HARRY: (snorts) “Defense mechanism.”
LIAM: (Harry’s phone rings, Liam searches for it on the bed, hands it to him, glancing at the
screen briefly) “Still talking gibberish then?”
HARRY: (takes the phone from him) “French.”

LIAM: “Why French?”
HARRY: (shrugs) “We took French together in high school and it sort of become code for things
we didn’t want Zayn to know.”
LIAM: “Ah…”
HARRY: (somewhat aggressive) “You gonna tell him?”
LIAM: “I didn’t tell him last time. I don’t wanna get involved in the Bermuda triangle you have
going on. I won’t come out alive.”
HARRY: (laughs) “Good on you.”
LIAM: (staring at the wall, lost) “Sophia cheated on me and I’ll probably take her back because
I’m madly in love with her.”
HARRY: “If someone’s cheating it means the relationship isn’t enough for them so unless
something changes to fix that, the cycle will continue. Cheating isn’t fixed with a sorry. It’s
definitely not fixed through unconditional love.”
LIAM: “Why did you cheat?”
HARRY: “Because I was so happy and the thought that I’d be happy forever terrified me.”
Overrun
Chapter 44: Overrun
Scene 1
[Entrance Gates, Walt Disney World in Florida, 9:17am, Not-Sneak Smoking]
ELEANOR: (walking up to him, furious) “You left him alone?!”
LOUIS: (busted) “I…he told you?”
ELEANOR: “No, but Liam asked how early I had left this morning for him to not run into me and
what happened, Louis?”
LOUIS: (shaking his head, trying to figure it out himself) “He…seemed better.”
ELEANOR: (incredulous) “He seemed better? He was sick! He was ill, could barely make it to
the bathroom. He needed someone there. And you promised you’d be there.”
LOUIS: “I didn’t promise him anything.”
ELEANOR: “You promised me, Louis, me. You promised me he was safe with you and I trusted
you with him. You told me—what am I supposed to believe now? What am I to think?”
LOUIS: (hurt) “Nothing happened. He was fine—Did anything happen? Is he okay?”
ELEANOR: “Something could have happened. He was all alone.” (disappointed) “I just don’t get
it. Why have me leave if you didn’t want to do this? What’s the point of doing that entire thing
yesterday?”
LOUIS: (overwhelmed, trailing off, lost) “I didn’t know…I just—I thought I could…I got
confused…”
ELEANOR: “If you can’t take care of him, that’s okay. You don’t have to. But please, let the rest
of us take over. You can’t be possessive and irresponsible.”
LOUIS: (immediately) “I can take care of him. Just…”
ELEANOR: “Just what?”
LOUIS: “Just it has to be me, just me. He needs to trust me enough to not need other people. If he
wants me, if he decides that, I’ll more than take care of him but yesterday, he wanted…someone
else. I was an extra. He didn’t need me for me. He’d have thrown me out for Zayn any day.”
ELEANOR: “You’re becoming Ed…”
LOUIS: (caught off guard, snappy) “I am not! I have nothing in common with this guy—I don’t
understand why everyone seems to think I’m some—some…fucked up plan b. I never signed up
for this. Why am the only one being labelled when all of you care for him too? What am I doing
different?”
ELEANOR: “You’re reacting like this.” (sighs) “Louis, the more you fixate over Ed, the more you
become him. You’re constantly worried about Harry seeing you that way and you don’t notice that
the fear changes the way you act around him so you subconsciously do stuff you’ve heard him do
and say stuff you know he said. Harry liked you because you were different. Harry liked you,
Louis, you! If you’re just going to be Ed, then of course you’ll be plan b. He already has an Ed.”
LOUIS: (frustrated, confused) “How can I be someone I don’t even know?”
ELEANOR: “Ever since you found out, you overthink it. Every action that involves Harry, you
question. In the back of your mind, you’re thinking, ‘Is this something Ed would do?’ Before you
did shit because you felt like it without a care in the world about how it’d be taken. Now you can’t
move on.”
LOUIS: (lost) “I’m trying to move on.”
ELEANOR: “Then stop asking everyone about Ed! Who cares about Ed? He was a dead topic
until you came around to revive him. If anything, Harry’s thinking about Ed because you can’t let
it die again.”
Scene 2
[Simon’s Office, Walt Disney World in Florida, 1:12pm, Monthly Sanity Check]
SIMON: “Should I note down that someone pissed in your lunch or is that a once in a while
thing?”
LOUIS: (irritated) “I'm not in the mood today, Simon, so let’s get this over quick.”
SIMON: “What’s happening?”
LOUIS: “Nothing. I’m exhausted. I pulled an all-nighter for no reason so I’m running on nothing
but Jade’s poor excuse for caffeine. Replace the machine in the break room, please.”
SIMON: “Sure. Anything else? How are your shifts?”
LOUIS: “Shit.”
SIMON: “Because…?”
LOUIS: “Because they just are. Because this is work and nobody likes work.”
SIMON: “Have you hit the four year misery mark?”
LOUIS: “No. Do me a favor and don’t suggest counseling. It won’t work unless I wanna do it and
right now I don’t so leave it alone.”
SIMON: “No counseling then. You have any other ideas?”
LOUIS: (sighs) “Nothing. It’s just that time of the year. Spring’s bringing way more people and
spring break’s bound to be a mess.”
SIMON: (nods) “That is true. We are doubling our cast for that period.”
LOUIS: “Cali kids?”

SIMON: “Some. Hey, maybe that’s what you need, eh? Some space?”
LOUIS: (makes a face) “You want me to work for Scooter Braun again? What did I ever do to
you?”
SIMON: (chuckles) “Okay, maybe not.” (looking at the papers in front of him) “They didn’t love
you much either.”
LOUIS: “Ha. Any chance you can trade Zayn for someone who doesn’t want me dead?”
SIMON: “Why does he want you dead?”
LOUIS: “Because he’s evil?”
SIMON: “Surprising since he doesn’t come off that way at all. He seems very polite and kind,
soft-spoken too, knows when to shut up.”
LOUIS: “Are you trying to tell me something here? Because you don’t have to be subtle.
Apparently, I’m awful with subtle.”
SIMON: (to himself) “I’ve noticed.” (coughs) “So about the shifts… Are you ready to go back or
what are we doing here?”
LOUIS: “You mean, back with…?”
SIMON: “Harry? The counterpart to your character? The kids are starting to miss having you both
banter. They liked that. They found it realistic.”
LOUIS: (suddenly very interested in picking his sweater) “I mean…I could….”
SIMON: “Or I could assign you a different character? We don’t usually switch since the cast gets
attached and pretty fluent at speaking a character’s language but you’ve been around for a while so
maybe a change is due. Something fresh, exciting—isn’t exciting good? You did well with Scar
that week.”
LOUIS: “Change.” (nodding, trying to understand) “Like play a different role, you mean?”
SIMON: “Yeah. We’ll switch things around. Someone will pick up where you left off and we’ll
rotate. I could give you the options if you want. I’ll email them. I don’t have anything concrete
right now but if you’re interested…”
LOUIS: (spacey) “Then I wouldn’t be able to work with Harry anymore.”
SIMON: “That’s kinda the point, I’d think. You seem to be avoiding him still and it’s been about
three weeks so I don’t know if you’ll sort out your differences anytime soon. Don’t get me wrong,
I like the animosity between you two since it’s representative of the real characters but Hades is
supposed to be loud, sassy and funny. You’re giving me grumpy, old man these days.”
LOUIS: (determined) “We will sort things out. It’s not that. Don’t worry about that. We had a
disagreement but it’s not a big deal.” (remembering) “He’s sick by the way. That’s why he’s not
working today. Dunno if anyone called to let you know.”
SIMON: “They didn’t but I’ll jot that down. Anything else?”
LOUIS: “Stop making him work extra hours. I know you simply suggest it but he can’t say no.”
SIMON: “Most of the time he’s the one asking me. I think he just doesn’t like being home alone
so he’d rather linger around the park. Maybe you can get some of your friends to warm up to him,
invite him out. He seems lonely and you’re so good with never letting yourself be that. Teach him a
couple of tricks.”
LOUIS: (in thought) “Yeah…” (pause) “Yeah, sure, yeah.”
SIMON: “So you’ll go back to working with him?”
LOUIS: “I don’t know… I can’t think of this properly right now. I’ll get back to you. Email me
and I’ll reply.”
Scene 3
[Louis’ Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 8:31pm, Props & Pups]
NIALL: (both on the floor) “Well, what do you wanna do?”
LOUIS: “I wanna stay with Harry but at this point, I don’t know if I’ll make it to next Christmas if
I continue doing this thing with him.”
NIALL: “Doing what thing?”
LOUIS: “This on again, off again game of bullshit. It’s ridiculous. It’s never been this hard
before.” (turns towards him) “It’s never like that for us. We fight, yes, but next day, we start
talking about some random thing and I know you’ve forgiven me. Doesn’t require a ceremony.”
(frustrated) “I don’t understand why there are so many formalities when it comes to him.”
NIALL: “There are no formalities, Lou. You haven’t even tried apologizing yet. Have you spoken
to him any or are you still on the turns thing because let me tell you right now, if you’re expecting
a friendless kid with debilitating social anxiety to approach you in a public park, the same park you
went off on him, and ask you to be friends again, you’re gonna die of old age. He’s terrified of
you.”
LOUIS: “He didn’t seem too terrified last time when he was shoving me and threatening to jump
me.” (Niall looks unconvinced) “It’s true! There are sides to him and this side, you’d rather not
see.”
NIALL: “Then you must have really pissed him off. He doesn’t get like that for anyone.”
LOUIS: “What do you mean? You’ve seen him go off before?”
NIALL: “No, but we’ve heard the horror stories. Once he broke a guy’s jaw over some innocent
flirting. Some frat boy pushed Ed into a wall and Harry just about lost his mind.”
LOUIS: “Oh…” (clear he’s curious but keeping himself from asking) “He stopped himself with
me. He told me he’d never hurt me. And I believe him.”
NIALL: “Don’t go testing that theory though. Don’t piss him off on purpose to see if he means it.
I’m sure he does but why risk? I don’t know what would happen if both of you went rage-mode.”
LOUIS: “I would never go rage-mode with him. When I’m furious, I insult people but it takes a
whole different mechanism to get me to the point where I want to physically knock you out. Often,
it happens when I’m protecting people and out of everyone he’s most likely to be the person I’d be
watching out for.”
NIALL: “Why don’t you try talking to him today?”
LOUIS: “He’s sick today.”
NIALL: “Ok then, why don’t you check up on him, bring flowers and all?”
LOUIS: (uncomfortable) “Um…”
NIALL: “Look, subtle does fuck all with you so I’ll spell it out. Zayn’s not here. Attack.”
(rambling) “The castle is unprotected. The guards are asleep. The husband’s on a work trip. The
kids are at grandma's. Do you get it?”
LOUIS: “I do but I don’t think you fully get how not simple this situation is. For one, I don’t even
know what I’m mad about anymore.” (pulls at his hair) “Seriously, why am I angry with him?
Who knows? I don’t because yesterday when I saw him sick I wanted nothing more than to make
him smile.”
NIALL: “Wait, what?”
LOUIS: (casual, waving him off) “Pretend you didn’t hear that.”
NIALL: “O-kie then.”
LOUIS: “I’m not even mad. Or I’m so mad at myself that I don’t have enough anger leftover for
him. Do you understand why it’s hard for me to make the first move now? What do I say? I’m not
mad and want you to be my friend again but you clearly haven’t gotten over what I said so it’s
obvious you’ll walk away and this time I might just let the ground swallow me whole?” (groans)
“My limit is one rejection a week.”
NIALL: “You don’t hold many grudges, Lou. You’d rather have the person more than the
apology. Many friends kept at arms length is your strategy. Harry is different. He lets himself get
close to very, very few people and trusts them quickly. When he sees that the trust was perhaps
misplaced, it takes some damage control to get him to approach again.”
LOUIS: (resigned) “So what am I supposed to do then? Give up?”
NIALL: “You want him back? You gotta work for it. And not with words. You can’t just go up to
him and say, I’m sorry, let’s be friends. You have to slowly let him get comfortable again, only this
time, show him that you’re there to stay.”
LOUIS: “How can I promise I’ll stay if I don’t know what’ll happen next?”
NIALL: “Think of a stray puppy who has just trusted you enough to eat food off your hand. If you
don’t want that puppy to run away and hide, you won’t make any sudden moves. That doesn’t
mean you can’t leave. It means you can’t flinch back when he licks your fingers and nuzzles
against your palm." (Louis bites his lip) "He doesn’t know better.”
Scene 4
[Zayn’s’ Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 10:52pm, Battle for the Baby]
ZAYN: (on the phone) “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing because I know and I’m
going to kill you.”
ED: “Chill. I see you’re still going through his texts.”
ZAYN: “I am not. I just happened to be a good guesser. Why did you text him?”
ED: “Because he texted me. I always reply to his texts. That’s the rule I set for myself. No calling
but texts are fair game.”
ZAYN: (frustrated) “Why can’t you leave him alone so he can get over you in peace?”
ED: “I didn’t do—“
ZAYN: “You gave him hope!”
ED: (angry) “I did not. I never said anything that wasn’t true. I wouldn’t lie to him.”
ZAYN: (growls) “Ed.”
ED: (snappy) “I miss him, okay? I miss him like hell. So if he says, I miss you, I’ll say it back. I’m
allowed to miss him. That doesn’t mean we’re getting back together.”
ZAYN: “Have you told Harry this?”
ED: “He knows! He knows what to expect.”
ZAYN: “And what’s that?”
ED: “I’ll always care for him deeply and I’ll always be there for him. We’re not good boyfriends
but he’s not dead to me.”
ZAYN: “He should be. If you want his best, pretend he is so he can learn to live life without you.”
ED: (hurt) “So you want me to ignore someone that used to be the love of my life—“
ZAYN: “Oh shut up.”
ED: (furious, emotional) “No, you shut up. I loved him more than anything. For three years, he
came to me when he was sick—he was in my arms. You expect me to wake up one day and not
care after I know how bad he gets and how much he hurts? You expect me to not give a shit about
him when he needs me?" (desperate) "He was my baby. I’ve done what you’ve asked me all this
time. I’ve kept my distance but shit, he was my fucking baby, Zayn. That’s never going to change.
What would you have done if this was Perrie? Will you ever stop caring for her?”
ZAYN: (nodding to himself) “I get it. I do. It’s hard. No one said getting out of a relationship you
thought would be your last is easy. It’s hell, I know. I live it with him every day—every day for the
past week he’s mentioned your name. But I need him to get better because I can’t see him like this
anymore. You’re not here. You don’t experience the damage. He’s hung up on you and as much as
you try, when you talk to him, you want him. Despite Taylor, despite how hurt you are over what
happened, you slip into that persona with him. You can’t help it.”
ED: (whispered, pained) “You’re killing me here. It’s been nine months. This isn’t getting better
this way. I’m trying to respect you—believe you—because you were once my best mate and now
you’re all he has—I envy you that--but you’re putting us both through hell.”
ZAYN: “If you still struggle to forget him, it means you need more time apart.”
ED: “I need him to be part of my life. The change is too jarring. We need to be weaned off each
other. Keeping him forbidden like this makes it worse. Of course I’m gonna sound loved-up if I
hear his voice once a year. Of course I’m gonna sound excited and longing because I am. I get that
we’re toxic for each other. Trust me, Zayn, no one gets that better than me. If you’ve forgotten I
was the one who got royally fucked over in this deal. I know there is absolutely no way I can be
what he needs and vice versa.”
ZAYN: “Then what?!”
ED: (pleading) “He’s my best friend! You took away my fiancé and my closest friend in one day.
It’s difficult to recover. How can I go from seeing his face every second of every day to not
knowing how long his hair has grown and how big all my hoodies still look on him?”
ZAYN: “God, you’re both so codependent, it’s surprising it didn’t work out.”
ED: (sarcastic) “Are you that surprised, Zayn? Are you?”
ZAYN: (ignoring him) “You’re needy and clingy and goddamn stubborn, the both of you.”
ED: “Again, put yourself in my shoes. You’d be hurt too. You’re phasing me out of his life. This is
not how people heal. It’s good at the beginning because we both needed it otherwise I’d have taken
him back in a heart beat. But time has passed and we’re aware of what went wrong.”
ZAYN: “That’s my fear. Now that you know where you messed up, you’ll think you can avoid it
next time. If I let you talk to him, he'll drag you back. You know he will. You're weak when it
comes to Harry. What if he says he loves you--that he fucked up but you're the only one he's been
thinking about all these months? What if he says he'll never try again now that he knows how
much it cost him?”
ED: (gulps) "I'm in a relationship now."
ZAYN: "Don't lie to yourself, you want him as bad as that first time when you asked me if he was
gay and I, stupid, little me, let you court him."
ED: (whispered) "That's not true. I'm over him. I care but not like that..."
ZAYN: "Tell me one time you've said no to him. One time! One thing he wanted, you didn't give
him." (Ed is silent) "If you talk to him he'll convince you of a next time--"
ED: “There is no next time. I don’t want him back. I just need to not feel like that part of my life
never happened. All I have is a void and what I want is the reminder that I was his boyfriend and I
had an amazing time being his boyfriend. Closure. I need closure and he sounds like he does too.”
ZAYN: “No, Ed. You need closure. He needs to realize that he can manage life without you—He
needs to prove to himself that his personality does not begin and end with being yours.”
ED: (getting angrier) “You give him so little credit because you think he’s weak. You’ve always
seen him as a kid. If anyone’s keeping him back, it’s you Zayn and all your babying. He can’t even
stop crying without help. Babies learn to self-regulate when they’re two. You infantilize him
because you have a sick fetish of having people need you and you get high of seeing his pretty,
green eyes look at you like you're the only one in the world.”
ZAYN: (vicious) “Oh, we’re cannons ready now? Because out of the two of us, you were the one
to bathe him and feed him and allow him to call you ‘daddy’ so I don’t know who’s the one
infantilizing him. At least I teach him how to be alone. You spent your entire time convincing him
to lean back on you when things got too hard so that now he can’t even stand on his own without
support.”
ED: “I worked with what I found—what you had been shaping him into since he was seven. You
know, it’s funny because you call us codependent when you and him would be fine never speaking
to anyone ever again if you could manage an actual relationship. Your heterosexuality is the only
protective factor in what would probably be the most toxic relationship to exist.”
ZAYN: “At least I have a protective factor. Yours just existed.”
ED: “Not protective enough, it seems. The poison leaked anyway. I’ll be shocked to see him find
anyone that can put up with you. I liked you and couldn’t. No one will willingly play this twisted
game with you both where I fuck him because you can’t and then he runs into your arms. You need
to step back and let him breathe if you want what’s best for him. You’re suffocating him
completely. In order for him to move on, he has to find someone else and you’re in the way,
whether you see it or not.”
ZAYN: (off guard, hurt) “I don’t want to be.” (more emotional, finally showing signs of breaking)
“I don’t want to be the one people keep pointing fingers at. I’m stuck. I have no other choice. If I
step away, he’ll call for me. He’ll stumble. He’ll fall—break! It’s a lose-lose situation. No matter
what I do, I hurt him. So I’m doing my best and going by priority. Safety first, well-being second,
relationship third. So excuse me for rushing to his side when he’s struggling to breathe. You might
have been in love with him for three years but I’ve loved him for fifteen.”
ED: (whispered, emotional as well) “How can anyone ever compete with that? How can he ever
love anyone but you, his Prince Charming since day one?”
Override
Chapter 45: Override
Scene 1
[Changing Rooms, Walt Disney World in Florida, 7:13pm, Real Apologies Start With I’m]
LOUIS: (getting undressed, takes a deep breath, puts a smile on his face, turns towards Zayn)
“Hey, man. How was Cali?”
ZAYN: (gives him a weird look) “It was okay.”
LOUIS: (gulping, fidgeting with the shirt in his hand) “You wanna go get a beer? We haven't
talked in ages. You've been avoiding me.” (chuckles) "I'm always up for burgers. How ‘bout it?
Did you eat today?”
ZAYN: (distant but polite) “I’ll pass. Gotta be somewhere.”
LOUIS: (face falling) “Oh.” (tries a different approach) “Bad day, then? What happened,
Gaston?”
ZAYN: “I’m really not in the mood for this.”
LOUIS: “Oh, that bad. Were you…” (quoting Gaston from Beauty & the Beast) “Dismissed,
rejected, publicly humiliated?” (more dramatic, still quoting) “Why it’s more than I can bear!”
ZAYN: “Louis.” (calms himself a little) “Not now, please.”
LOUIS: (still quoting, melodramatic) “What’s the use? Nothing helps!”
ZAYN: (snappy) “Will you quit that?”
LOUIS: “Alright, alright, chill.” (losing his good attitude)“I’m just trying to figure out what
happened because there sure as hell seems to be something bothering you.”
ZAYN: “Right now, that’s you. I’m going home. I’m in a really shitty mood. Some other time
we’ll roughhouse until you’re satisfied but not today.”
LOUIS: “Forgive me for not knowing we run on your schedule.”
ZAYN: (under his breath) “Must be a change from what you’re used to, what with people lining
up to fill your agenda.”
LOUIS: (stung) “You don’t have to be such an ass, you know? I’m only trying to settle this dumb
issue so we’re not awkwardly tiptoeing around one another anymore. We have the same friend
group. It’s gonna get hard for you to constantly hate on me. I’m being mature and we both know I
don't do that often since I usually don't give a shit—”
ZAYN: "Go ahead and not give a shit then. Nothing surprising there. I’m not shocked that you care
about one person in your life and that’s yourself.”
LOUIS: (sharp) “Evidence of that? I care about a lot of people—“
ZAYN: "Whatever you say—”
LOUIS: “Don’t interrupt me!” (Zayn silently tries to sidestep him, Louis intercepts, frustrated,
blurts) “Let’s be friends again.”
ZAYN: “That’s not how it works.“
LOUIS: “How does it work then? I don’t even know what I’m supposed to say to you.” (insistent)
“Tell me what I did wrong so I can apologize about it.”
ZAYN: “Again, not how it works.” (tries to walk away once more, Louis steps in front of him,
Zayn growls) “Louis, come on. This is dumb.”
LOUIS: “Why doesn’t it work like that?”
ZAYN: (losing his temper) “Because it just doesn’t.”
LOUIS: “Well, why the hell not?”
ZAYN: (through his teeth) “Because you’re supposed to know what you did wrong. That’s how
people can tell you regret it.”
LOUIS: “I overreacted a little bit and said some stuff I shouldn’t have said but that—what I did to
Harry—has nothing to do with you.”
ZAYN: “He’s my best friend. I care for him…so much—“ (sighs, dropping it) “I don’t expect you
to get it.”
LOUIS: (rambling) “Why? Because I have no best friends? I get it just fine. I care about people so
much too. I have people like that in my life. You thought I was going to hurt him and you got
angry. But I’m not. I’m telling you now that I’m going to fix stuff.”
ZAYN: “Then fix it first before coming to me.”
LOUIS: “I just want you to stop making it hard for me.”
ZAYN: “I’m not.” (exasperated, at the end of his rope) “I’m literally just trying to keep my head
above water right now.”
LOUIS: “I just got a little mad. I didn’t think—“
ZAYN: (interjecting) “That’s it right there, Louis. You didn’t think. You never think about what
your words can do to people—what the consequences are. You shattered him. You didn’t just hurt
his feelings…It’s not just about a stupid, little fight. You broke him.” (struggling to find words,
shakes his head) ”I knew you would and you did. That’s the hard part to accept. I knew it all
along.”
LOUIS: (caught off guard, trying to explain, desperate) “I told him I didn’t mean it. I got angry—
I’m trying to apologize. It’s a little hard for me but I’m trying. He keeps ignoring me.”
ZAYN: “How can he not? You played him. I don’t even know what you did exactly because he
won’t tell me—he won’t talk about it—but I know it was enough to get him to doubt everything
once again. He’s back to wanting Ed now. He came back that day begging to call him and hasn’t
stopped since." (ranting) "And Ed, of course, wants to sweep in and save his little princess..."
LOUIS: (grabbing the bottom of Zayn’s shirt, panicked, confessing) “I confronted him about
lying, which he did. I confronted him because he wasn't going to tell me and I was so tired of
keeping my distance. I didn’t say anything else—he assumed some horrible things but I said
nothing…I was just mad at the lie. Just the lie. I want to be friends with him—I never meant to—I
never wanted to lose him.”
ZAYN: “Then why haven't you apologized yet?"
LOUIS: (weak, guilty) “I haven’t been around…Simon changed my schedule..."
ZAYN: “He gave you a chance. He was there for you. He opened up to you. And you just kicked
him aside when you didn’t need him anymore. One day you're best buds, the next he's dead to you
and why? Just because Louis Tomlinson decided he didn’t wanna catch your gay.”
LOUIS: (hurt) "It's not like that at all. We had a fight. He left first. He left and I let him leave.
What was I supposed to do? Chase him? Run after him? Beg him to be my friend?! I’m done
begging for friends, was done long ago.”
ZAYN: “Then why even hang out with him if you didn’t want to befriend him? Why give him
hope? He idolized you!”
LOUIS: “I wanted to befriend him! He was the one who stopped being friends with me. He was
the one who said I wasn’t worth having as a friend. You don't know the full story. You can't
judge.” (vulnerable) “You don’t know what it feels like to be constantly rejected—“
ZAYN: (can’t help himself) "Oh, I'm sure I don't but you of all people should know how much it
hurts to have someone you want in your life so bad tell you you’re not good enough.”
LOUIS: (guarded, confused) “What’s that supposed to mean?”
ZAYN: “You did to Harry exactly what Stanley did to you.” (softer, trying to backtrack) “Shit. I—
I’m…”
LOUIS: (flabbergasted, can’t even form sentences) “How—how—did?” (realization, horrified)

“Niall told you guys!”
ZAYN: “He briefly mentioned it. No details. Just randomly. It wasn’t his fault. We pushed him.
We asked. He didn’t—It’s my fault.“
LOUIS: “He told you guys—” (gaping, breathing heavily) “I can’t believe this.” (stumbling
backwards, furious) “Don’t you ever, ever compare me to him!” (screaming) “I would never do
that to anyone!" (emotional, wild) “What he did to me—what I suffered because of him, the utter
humiliation, the pain—I’d never wish that upon anyone.” (breaking) “The thought of that
happening to Harry makes me ill.”
ZAYN: (sad) “You stopped talking to him because you found out he was gay. That is the reality of
the situation. Stop hiding behind everything else and come to terms with your fears.”
LOUIS: (slapped awake) “No! I…“ (closes his mouth, shocked silent)
Scene 2
[Louis’ Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 9:12pm, Real Friends Cant Have Friends]
LOUIS: (sitting on the floor, eyes red, clear he has been crying for hours, ashtray full of cigarette
stubs, calls Niall, as soon as the line is picked up) “How could you?” (choking) “How could
you?!”
NIALL: (on the phone, confused) “Hello?”
LOUIS: “You fucker. You piece of shit mother—”
NIALL: “Louis?”
LOUIS: “I trusted you!” (desperate) “I trusted you.” (losing control, face breaking, dry sobbing)
“I trusted you. I trusted you…”
NIALL: “What’s happening?" (shocked) "Are you crying?!”
LOUIS: “You told them!” (hiccuping) “You told them everything. I can’t believe it.”
NIALL: (alarmed, worried) “Told who what? What is going on?”
LOUIS: “The boys, Liam—Zayn! You told them—“ (can’t even breathe properly with how riled
up he is)
NIALL: “What are you talking about? Lou, please, I’m really worried. What is this about? Are
you hurt? Is Harry hurt?”
LOUIS: “You hurt me—you betrayed me!” (screaming) “Why did you tell them about me and
Stan?!”
NIALL: (pause, moment of realization) “…I’m sorry—“
LOUIS: “So you did! You did actually tell them. Zayn wasn’t lying. Ni, why?” (tears running
down his face) “I trusted you. You know how much I trusted you—You know how much these
secrets mean to me.”
NIALL: (in a tough spot) “I didn’t tell them anything personal—I briefly mentioned a few things, I
didn’t…Nothing big. Hear me out. I’d never…” (choking, devastated) “Betray you. They cared.
They promised…They said they’d help. They wanted your best. I know they still do. I’m so sorry.”
LOUIS: “I never wanted anyone to know.” (rocking back and forth)“I told you out of weakness. I
slipped up. And now everyone knows. Everyone knows and they hate me!” (sniffling) “I hate you.”
NIALL: “Why would you think that? What the hell happened?” (worried) “Louis, can I come
over?”
LOUIS:(whispered, defeated) “Why did you do this?” (desperate, pained) "You were my only
friend… You were all I had. I wanted to trust you. I wanted you here…I need you here, you selfish
shit. I need you. I have no one else!”
NIALL: “I am here! Louis, I’ll always be here. Whatever you need, I’m on your side.”
LOUIS: “I don’t even know what to do anymore.” (hangs up, wipes at his face, lays on the floor,
trying to breathe properly, stares into space for a long time before picking up the phone again,
hands shaking badly, dials the number three times because of how much he’s shaking, curses
every time he gets it wrong, finally phone against his ear, he bites the sleeve of the baseball tee,
waiting)
HARRY: (on the phone) "Hello?" (silence) "Um, hi, hello? Who is this?" (more silence, Louis
struggling to keep himself from crying, a few tears fall down his face) "Is this a prank call? I’m
getting lots of this private number calls lately…” (Louis pulls the phone away about to hang up,
suddenly) "Lou, is this you?" (startled at the sound of his name, opens his mouth, can't speak)
"Okay, this is slightly strange so I'm gonna hang up now. Call again if you need anything, random
stranger." (more silence, call drops)
LOUIS: (throws the phone against the wall) “I’m sorry goddammit!”
Scene 3
[Eleanors’ Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 10:23pm, Real Italians Eat Pepperoni]
LOUIS: (when she opens the door to her room) “I’m the biggest asshole in this hotel and I’m here
because no one else will have me. Feel free to slam the door in my face. I know I deserve it. And I
know you’ll most likely do that. But the fact that I’m standing here nonetheless should tell you
how alone I am.”
ELEANOR: (minimal hesitation) “Are you hungry? I’ve ordered pizza.”
LOUIS: (touched, snorts) “Vegetarian?”
ELEANOR: (moves aside to let him come in) “You know it.”
LOUIS: (drops the jacket on the couch, sits on the ground next to the pizza boxes) “I’ve seen this
episode. It’s good.”
ELEANOR: (sits next to him) “When is ‘Jersey Shore’ not good?” (plays the episode, grabs a
pizza slice) “Feel free.”
LOUIS: (grabs one too, starts eating slowly, quiet) “Thank you.” (they watch silently for a few
minutes, Louis finishes his slice before slowly breaking into tears, head on his knees, sobbing
uncontrollably) “I’m sorry.”
ELEANOR: (moves beside him, wraps one arm on his shoulders, sad, quiet) “We can order
pepperoni if you want.”
LOUIS: (between chuckling and sobbing) “Will you eat it if we do?”
ELEANOR: (smiling) “Only if you tell me what’s wrong.”
LOUIS: (mumbled) “I just want to be Vinny. He just has friends and no drama. For once in my life
I want to be on the sidelines, making jokes about other people fighting. I don’t wanna fight
anymore… Everyone thinks I can take it—but I can’t. I’m an insecure piece of shit and I can’t.”
Scene 4
[Zayn’s’ Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 11:55pm, Real Daddies Can’t Tap Out]
ZAYN: (in bed, looking at the ceiling, cursing silently before putting on a slight smile) “Harry?”
HARRY: (beside him, facing away) “Mhmm?”
ZAYN: (doubting himself) “I have to uh… Can we talk about something?”
HARRY: “Sure.”
ZAYN: “Could you come here for a second?” (Harry rolls around, looking at him, more worried,
Zayn gently encourages him) “Come.”
HARRY: (inches closer) “Is anything wrong?” (lays face down on Zayn’s chest, head on his arms)
“Did something happen?” (grinning) “Is this secret time? I like secrets.”
ZAYN: (smiles at him fondly) “Not quite.” (starts touching Harry’s curls) “I was thinking…”
HARRY: “Yeah?”
ZAYN: (struggling, biting his lip) “Well, I was thinking today that maybe you’d like to…to spend
some time…doing your own thing.”
HARRY: (slowly losing his smile, confused) “What do you mean?”
ZAYN: “Like we spend so much time together that sometimes I think you just don’t get to explore,
you know? You don’t get to do new stuff because I’m all boring and lazy and I’m sure you wanna
try—“
HARRY: (fully frowning, somewhat panicked) “You wanna not spend time with me?”
ZAYN: (quickly) “No, that’s not it, H. It’s not about—I just wonder if I’m being too—“
HARRY: (breathing quicker) “Did I do something wrong?”
ZAYN: “No, no. Nothing.” (Harry tries to sit up, Zayn touches his face to keep him there) “Hey,
look, hey. Nothing will change. We’ll still be best friends. You’ll just spend some time—we’ll be
apart for some time, like some days, and other days we’ll be together. You’ll have more time to do
stuff.”
HARRY: (moves away, sits back on his legs) “I don’t wanna do other stuff. I wanna do this.”
(pouting) “Don’t you wanna do stuff with me? Why can’t we do stuff together?”
ZAYN: “We can do some stuff together. I just thought you’d wanna do some stuff with other
people.”
HARRY: “I wanna do everything with you.”
ZAYN: (opens his mouth, closes it, sighs) “Well, I… I’m not good at doing everything. Some
things you wanna do, other people could be better at doing. Like going to the movies. You love
going to the movies and I rarely go with you. Or—”
HARRY: (hurt, whiny) “No!” (slides out of bed) “No. You’re wrong…” (walks towards his bag to
pull out his pack of cigarettes) “Why is this coming up? What did I do?” (doesn’t wait for a
response, walks out into the balcony)
ZAYN: (sighs heavily, palming his face) “Harry! Can you come back here? We were talking…”
HARRY: (walks back in, cigarette in his fingers) “If you wanna kick me out of your life, just do it.
Rip the band-aid off.”
ZAYN: (sits up on bed) “Don’t come inside with that. The fire alarm will go off. Put it out.”
(patting the bed) “And sit.”
HARRY: (walks back out, doesn’t seem to hurry, takes a couple more drags, flicks the cigarette
away, comes in) “Do you need to spend more time with Perrie? Is she mad at me?” (pacing) “I
thought we had a good time when you were gone. She seemed fine. She seemed to understand that
some weeks I have more trouble being alone than others and that’s why I stay with you.”
ZAYN: “She’s not the reason at all. She never mentioned anything.”
HARRY: (turns towards him) “So it’s you then. You want to spend less time with me. I’m
suffocating you.”
ZAYN: (blurts) “I’m suffocating you!” (Harry seems stunned) “Apparently.” (sighs) “Look, I just
want what’s best for you.”
HARRY: (pouting) “You.” (walks up to him, sits on the bed, leans into him, cuddles into his
chest) “You are.”
ZAYN: (wraps his arms around him) “Not always.”
HARRY: (stern) “Yes, always.”
ZAYN: “Harry—“
HARRY: “No!” (grips his shirt) “Why are you trying to make us fight?”
ZAYN: (struggling) “I'm not—It’s just—What if you don’t know yet, what’s best? And I don’t
know. And neither of us knows.” (Harry whines like a little kid) “Don’t do that.”
HARRY: “What?”
ZAYN: “Don’t get like this. I’m trying to have a conversation—Harry, will you look at me?”
(Harry mumbles ‘no’) “Harry.” (losing his temper a little) “Harry, I’m trying to talk to you here. Sit
up like an adult.”
HARRY: (yanks away) “You’re hurting me!” (slumps face down on the bed, head in his arms) “I
don’t like you anymore.” (almost babbling) “You don’t love me…”
ZAYN: (exasperated) “Harry, enough. We’re not playing this game. Sit up and quit this shit.”
HARRY: (screeching, mock sobbing, wailing) “Ed was better at this!”
ZAYN: (furious) “Enough!” (crawls to him, grabs his arm to pull him up) “Behave.”
HARRY: (pulls his arm away, face in the mattress) “Leave me alone. You’re hurting me. You’re
supposed to be soft!”
ZAYN: (clear he’s holding back his temper, moving away) “And you’re supposed to be twenty-
two. Sit up and act your age. This is embarrassing.”
HARRY: (silent, tearing up, curling into his side, facing away, quietly) “I don’t know what to
do…”
ZAYN: (easing up) “Come here and we’ll figure it out together.”
HARRY: (tries to make himself smaller) “I want to go to my room.”
ZAYN: (hurt, gulping) “Okay…as long as you leave your phone here.”
HARRY: (whispered) “Okay.” (gets up, crouches next to his bag to look for it)
ZAYN: (regretful, wasn’t expecting that answer) “Harry…”
HARRY: (stands up, puts his phone on the bed, never looking at Zayn) “Here. Keep it. I don’t
need it much anyway.” (picks up his bag)
ZAYN: (hurries off the bed to follow Harry towards the door) “Wait, hey, wait, baby—“
HARRY: (vicious) “Don’t call me that!” (glaring at him) “Don’t you fucking dare call me that. He
calls me that because he can hold me and comfort me and put up with me when I get stupid and
embarrassing. You have no right. I’m his baby—I’ll never be yours.”
ZAYN: (stunned) “Harry, I’m trying my best.” (walks closer to him) “You don’t need someone to
put up with you because you don’t need to get like that at all.”
HARRY: (looking down, pained) “You don’t get it.”
ZAYN: (takes him in his arms) “I do. I get it more than anyone. What makes you act like that is
the fear that you’ll lose someone. That’s your defense mechanism because after all, who would
leave behind a baby—“ (mumbled against Harry's hair) “A small, fragile, little baby.”
HARRY: (shaking) “Are you leaving?”
ZAYN: “No, I’m not. That’s why you don’t need to persuade me to stay.”
HARRY: “Then why are we having this talk?”
ZAYN: “Ed isolated you. I don’t wanna do the same. If you promise me you’ll try harder to
branch out, I’ll promise you, I’ll never leave.”
HARRY: “And if I can’t branch out, you’ll leave?”
ZAYN: (closes his eyes, holds him tighter) “I said try. Just try, okay?”
HARRY: (hugging him back) “Okay.”

Overload
Chapter 46: Overload
Scene 1
[Changing Rooms, Walt Disney World in Florida, 7:18am, Coffee, Tea or Tears?]
HARRY: (comes in, notices Louis is in the room, tries to walk out casually but half-slams on the
door) “Ouch.”
LOUIS: (stops his pacing around the room to look up) “You okay there?”
HARRY: (flushed, squeaky) “Fine. Fine. Was just… Checking something…” (rigidly walks back
in and towards his locker, eyes down) “Good morning.”
LOUIS: “Good morning.”
HARRY: “Uh, good day? I mean how’s the day going?” (trying to hurry opening his locker, keeps
messing up the combination)
LOUIS: (lightly) “The day hasn’t started.”
HARRY: (finally gets it open, relieved to have that barrier to hide behind) “Right.”
LOUIS: (long silence as Harry shoves himself in the costume, Louis shuffles awkwardly, opening
and closing his mouth three times before voice comes out) “How’s your day?”
HARRY: (breathy, forced chuckle) “Hasn’t started either…”
LOUIS: (snorts, uncomfortable) “Right.”
HARRY: (working on his hair, practically out of breath with how fast he’s moving) “Right then,
well, I’ll see you around some time—day…” (shoves everything in the locker, slams it shut
accidentally, startlingly loud noise) “I didn’t…mean that to… Wind…Ow. The window—”
LOUIS: “Is not open…” (smiling) “You can spare the extra two seconds it takes to close it
gently.”
HARRY: (awkward) “Sorry. I didn’t expect it to…” (head down, speeding towards the door)
“Have a good day.”
LOUIS: (watching him leave, regretful, mumbles) “You too…” (after a pause) “Hey, if you
wanna get dinner…” (silence) “Sometime… Tonight…” (sighs, sarcastically) “That went well…”
Scene 2
[Main Street, Walt Disney World in Florida, 9:23am, Daddy Dead]
JACK: (walking next to Harry, who is taking him to daycare, hyper and bouncing) “Is Hades
coming back today?”
HARRY: (tiredly) “I don’t know…”
JACK: (following him, excited) “Is he still in the Underworld?”
HARRY: “I don’t know, Jackie.”
JACK: “Why don’t you go to the Underworld to get him?”
HARRY: “Because the Underworld is far and I have to be here with you guys.”
JACK: “Will he come back tomorrow?”
HARRY: “Maybe.”
JACK: “When will he come back if not tomorrow?”
HARRY: (frustrated, holding it in) “I really don’t know. I don’t know anything.”
JACK: “Why don’t you know?”
HARRY: (snappy) “Because I don’t, okay?!” (Jack pouts, cocking his head sideways) “I’m sorry.
That was mean of me, raising my voice. Hercules is just tired because he hasn’t slept in ages…”
JACK: (Jack nods, stays quiet for a minute before blurting again) “Is Hades dead?”
HARRY: “What? No.”
JACK: “Is he in the river of ghosts? Because people die in the river of ghosts, you know?”
HARRY: “I know but he’s not in the river of ghosts.”
JACK: “Did you throw him in the river of ghosts like in the movie?”
HARRY: “No…” (thinking) “Yes.”
JACK: (shocked, high pitched) “Yes?! But why? He was nice now!”
HARRY: “He became bad again.”
JACK: (hands on his mouth) “He tricked you?”
HARRY: (smiling sadly) “He tricked me.”
JACK: “When will Hades not be dead?”
HARRY: (laughs, holds his hand out for Jack to take) “Tomorrow.”
JACK: “Tomorrow?”
HARRY: “Yes, tomorrow.”
JACK: (smiling widely) “Okay. And you will be here too tomorrow? You and Hades will be
together?”
HARRY: (teasing) “If I don’t throw him in the river of ghosts again.”
Scene 3
[McDonalds, Walt Disney World in Florida, 2:15pm, Shakes & Shocks]
SANDY: (sitting down, no food in front of him, rambling excitedly) “I’m telling you they will love
this one—this idea, this is it, Louis. Josh and I will present it well. I think we have it in the bag and
then ta-da, no more Disney. One idea is all it takes after all…”
LOUIS: “If you say so.”
SANDY: “What, no cynical comments about the utter stupidity of it all?”
LOUIS: (shrugs weakly, eating his french fries) “Could work.”
SANDY: “You really think so or you’re too lazy to tell me why it won’t?”
LOUIS: “Both.”
SANDY: (snorts) “What’s up? You’ve been down lately.”
LOUIS: “Tired. Shifts get longer with summer coming…”
SANDY: “They seem longer. The hours don’t change.”
LOUIS: (shrugs again) “Seem longer then. They seem endless.” (sighs, throws the fry he’s
holding down) “This job is endless.”
SANDY: “Heavy without alcohol. You must be on your period.”
LOUIS: “I wish. At least that has an end. Unlike the shifts and the eternity of this contract and the
irritation that comes with both.”
SANDY: “How’s Harry?”
LOUIS: “Who knows?” (quiet then while looking at the table) “Why bring it up?”
SANDY: “I just saw him so I thought—“
LOUIS: (head flings up, alert) “Where?”
SANDY: (nods towards the counter where Harry is ordering, smiling widely at the boy working it)
“Wanna call him over? I don’t mind—“
LOUIS: (immediately, looking back at Sandy) “No!” (realizes how sharp that was) “No, I mean,
he’s probably busy.”
SANDY: (raising an eyebrow) “We could always ask.”
LOUIS: “Don’t. He’s busy.”
SANDY: “Alright, man. Don’t burst a blood vessel by any means.” (joking) “I didn’t know you
wanted this to be a date so bad.”
LOUIS: (quietly) “We’re not really on speaking terms.”
SANDY: “You and Styles?”
LOUIS: “Yeah.”
SANDY: “I thought you weren’t speaking to Niall.”
LOUIS: “And Niall.”
SANDY: “Ah.”
LOUIS: (mumbled) “And Zayn…Liam…the whole gang basically.”
SANDY: “Yikes. What got you voted of the island?”
LOUIS: (chuckles dryly) “I did all the voting. It’s a whole mess of a story…” (looks back to see
Harry wave goodbye, milkshake in his hand) “Got blown out of proportion. Unnecessary drama.”
(bites his lip, following Harry with his eyes) “It’s like cast members feed on it.” (Harry exits
without turning around once, Louis looks at Sandy again) “I think they’re hoping MTV will catch
on and give us our own personal Real World.”
SANDY: “The Real World: Disney, I dig. I think we should do it.”
LOUIS: “It should be another one of your horse-shit ideas.”
SANDY: (grabs his hand) “There you are.”
LOUIS: (smacks Sandy’s palm away) “What does that tell you if your ideas are so bad they bring
out the sarcasm in me even when I’m depressed.”
SANDY: “You’re depressed?”
LOUIS: “Nah, not seriously.”
SANDY: “If you’re really worried—“
LOUIS: “Sandy…come on.”
SANDY: “I’m just saying…”
LOUIS: “If you suggest a counselor, wait in line behind Simon, Niall and Luke. I’m not seeing
one.” (stretching, getting up) “And I’m not depressed. I’m just annoyed at having lost my xbox
buddy, drinking buddy and ride home.” (snorts) “Zayn can suck my ass.”
SANDY: (also standing) “First of all, not to be too anatomical here but you can’t suck ass.”
LOUIS: (shoving him playfully “You’d know.”
SANDY: “Yes, since I’ve tried.” (as they step out, after a pause in conversation) “It’s interesting
though.”
LOUIS: “What is?”

SANDY: “The effect he has on you, even on a subconscious level. It’s immediate.”
LOUIS: “What are you talking about? Is this a philosophical treatise because I’m starting to
wonder why I attract these people?”
SANDY: “Because you go on monologues yourself and need someone to banter with intellectually.
You can’t stand dumb people.”
LOUIS: “Accurate. What was the topic of this one?”
SANDY: “Harry and how he’s your opiate. Even seeing him briefly improves your mood.”
LOUIS: “Do you have trials on this new hypothesis of yours? We can’t prescribe drugs without
proof, murse.”
SANDY: (rolling his eyes) “No trials. Just correlational studies.”
LOUIS: “Do tell.”
SANDY: “You stopped working shifts with him and now you whine about work every second of
every day. I’m ready to do statical testing on that. The effect size would be huge. I’d only need one
person to attain significance.”
LOUIS: “Could be a third variable.”
SANDY: “Yes, and that third variable is the fact that as much as you hate admitting it, you live off
of guy friends.”
LOUIS: “Are you trying to make a point here? Because I think Niall has already made this one. I
don’t hate women. I love women. I fuck women. That means I love them.”
SANDY: (makes a face) “No, it doesn’t… But that’s not the point or my point. I’m saying you
love hanging out with mates.”
LOUIS: (sarcastic) “Wow, a revolutionary insight, boys wanting to hang out with boys…call the
BBC, this is news!”
SANDY: “Look, I don’t know what Harry has because I’m not friends with him but he has
something that you like and others lack thus hanging out with him makes you feel better.”
LOUIS: (sassy) “Write your thesis on this. A PhD is in sight.”
SANDY: “Oh whatever.” (scoffing) “Pretentious jerk.”
LOUIS: “Armchair philosopher.”
SANDY: “Talk to him. That’s an order.”
LOUIS: “Armchair king.”
SANDY: “I’m serious. Either talk to him or a counselor or I’ll cut you off too.”
LOUIS: “Armchair dictator.”

SANDY: “Louis!”
LOUIS: (mocking) “Louis… Christ, man, when did we get married?”
SANDY: (throwing his arms in the air) “You’re hopeless.” (walking away, turns around a final
time) “Talk to him.” (points to Louis) “Or you’ll have hell to pay.”
LOUIS: (bored) “Hades is terrified.”
Scene 4
[ Cinderella Castle , Walt Disney World in Florida, Next Day, 12 :15pm, Tomorrow Is Today
]
HARRY: (softly) “Louis?”
LOUIS: (without looking back) “What’s up?” (turns around, notices it’s Harry, stunned) “Hi…”
HARRY: (visibly uncomfortable, looking down, rambling) “I noticed you weren’t feeling well
lately and I just wanted to say that—that—that…” (takes a deep breath, clearly struggling) “That if
you want to talk to someone…” (words folded into one another, said at breakneck speed) “I’m
always there and ready to listen and help no matter what happens and—“ (catches his breath) “I
hope that everything gets better soon and you start smiling again.” (gulps, voice weak) “I made you
brownies.” (shoves a container towards Louis, it’s shaking with Harry’s hands, Louis hesitates
before grabbing it at which point Harry yanks his arms back) “Okay. I’m going to go now.” (turns
around and walks away never once having looked at Louis’ face)
LOUIS: “Wait.” (Harry doesn’t stop, Louis follows him a few steps before catching himself) “You
should smile too.”
HARRY: (still looking ahead and walking) “I will if you do…”
LOUIS: (smiles without noticing, holds the container tighter against his torso, mumbles to himself,
still smiling) “Okay then.” (sees Harry walking, lingers on his feet, obvious his torn, finally)
“Harry, wait!”
HARRY: (stops but doesn’t turn around) “I really have to…”
LOUIS: (runs up and around to stand in front of him) “Do you want a brownie?”
HARRY: (blushing, looking down) “I uh made them for you…”
LOUIS: “But I wanna share them with you. Do you want one?”
HARRY: (soft, still not looking at him) “Yeah… But I ate a couple in the car…” (more
embarrassed) “Couldn’t resist…”
LOUIS: (chuckles) “Sneaky.” (opens the container, pulls one out, offers it to Harry) “Have
another one and if you want more, you can just find me.”
HARRY: (holding the brownie, picking off chunks off it with his fingers and putting them in his
mouth) “Okay…” (silence, Harry breaks off another piece, gingerly offers it to Louis) “Here. I’ll
share too.”
LOUIS: (Louis rolls his eyes, smile on his face, grabs the chunk, puts it in his mouth) “You’re so
weird, you know that?”
HARRY: (shrugs) “So you’ve said.” (gives him another chunk, puts the rest in his mouth) “I go
now.” (walks away)
LOUIS: (amused) “Bye?”
Scene 5
[Outside Simba’s Cub-house Childcare , Walt Disney World in Florida, Next Day, 2:15pm,
Mommy & Daddy ]
JONAH: (walks up to Louis shyly, shuffles on his feet before speaking up softly) “Can I have
one?”
LOUIS: (sitting down on the stairs, looks up, surprised, smiles) “Hi buddy. You want a brownie?”
JONAH: (nods) “Please?”
LOUIS: “Sure. Come.” (opens the container, mostly empty, pulls one out) “Here. Are your hands
clean though?” (Jonah nods) “Okay, I’ll believe you but next time you need to wash them.”
JONAH: (giddy) “I will…” (grabs the brownie, delighted) “Thank you!”
LOUIS: (picks him up, puts him on his lap) “Where’s your mommy? Are you here alone?”
JONAH: “I’m here with her—“ (points at Eleanor who is standing further away, waiting, hand on
her waist)
ELEANOR: “Are you done, Jonah? We have to go back now.”
LOUIS: (whispering, mock fear) “The witch wants to take you!”
JONAH: (giggling in his lap, mouth and fingers full of chocolate) “She’s not a witch. She’s a
princess.”
LOUIS: “Nah-uh. She’s an evil, tricky witch.” (looks up at Eleanor) “Hey, Sabrina, you’ve come
to take my son. He’s mine.” (cuddles Jonah tighter, the child laughs) “All mine.”
ELEANOR: “I think you’re supposed to be the bad guy but correct me if I’m wrong here, Jonah.”
JONAH: “Everyone knows Hades is the funnest.”
LOUIS: “Yes, witch, everyone.”
ELEANOR: (sits beside Louis) “Why is he the funnest?”
JONAH: (hands in the air, jumping on Louis’ lap) “Because he sings and has candy!” (to Louis,
touching his face with dirty hands, Louis pretends to lick them, Jonah withdraws them back,
shrieking) “Yuck! Don’t eat me.”
LOUIS: (smiles) “I will if you taste all chocolaty.”

JONAH: “Did your mommy make the brownies?”
LOUIS: “No. My friend did. Does your mommy makes brownies?”
JONAH: “Yes, and cookies and apple pie and cupcakes for my birthday only.” (confused) “Why
did your friend make you brownies?”
LOUIS: “Well, why does your mommy make you brownies?”
JONAH: “Because she loves me.”
LOUIS: “Same reason, I guess.” (Eleanor smiles at him)
JONAH: (makes a face) “No. Only moms can love people.”
LOUIS: (both Louis and Eleanor laugh) “Well, my friend is a bit of a mom so it all makes sense
now.”
Scene 6
[ Cinderella Castle , Walt Disney World in Florida, 12 :15pm, Cupcakes > Brownies ]
LOUIS: (after a few minutes of walking in silence, suddenly) “You know how you said you saw
Harry at a club?”
LUKE: “Yup.”
LOUIS: “You meant gay club, didn’t you?”
LUKE: “Yup.”
LOUIS: (groans) “Why is this my life?”
LUKE: “I wanted to tell you—“
LOUIS: “But it was amusing not to?”
LUKE: “Yup.”
LOUIS: (scoffs) “I understand…I’d be laughing too, I guess, if I wasn’t the one acting the fool.”
LUKE: “It was cute. Everyone found it cute.”
LOUIS: “Not Zayn. I think he made a point of telling me how ‘not cute’ I was.” (sipping on his
milkshake) “Ruining my life ever since.”
LUKE: “I don’t understand how you and him don’t get along. He’s so chill and nice with
everyone.”
LOUIS: “This is not making me feel any better.”
LUKE: “You’ve picked up milkshakes. All that diary’ll go to your thighs.”
LOUIS: “Speaking of things not making me feel any better… Everything that comes out of your
dick-eating mouth.”
LUKE: (chuckling) “Birthing hips.”
LOUIS: “Quit it while you still can.”
LUKE: “Didn’t know you liked children this much.”
LOUIS: (rolling his eyes) “Yes, will you seed me pregnant?”
LUKE: “I’ll let Harry do all the seeding.”
LOUIS: (stiffens for a second before relaxing again) “He would be a great dad, more like a mom
really. He’s the naggy one in our duo, always worrying about the kids getting hurt and learning
how to say fuck and poking each other in the eye with light sabers…” (to himself) “Gosh, I miss
working with the idiot.”
LUKE: “Go back then.”
LOUIS: “I will. No doubt about that. The loser should enjoy the time he has off because when I
return, I’ll be working his ass off—That sounded so, so wrong. Dear Jesus, send the flood early to
cleanse me off that imagery.”
LUKE: (amused, biting his lip) “That’s what he said…?”
LOUIS: “Don’t even.”
LUKE: “What’s with the wait? Suspense?” (creepy voice) “He’ll never know what hit him.”
LOUIS: (takes a deep breath, blushes as he speaks) “I’m going to make him cupcakes…” (grits it
out) “As an apology…” (flushed red) “But I don’t really know how to cook—“ (rambling
furiously) “And the instructions are stupid and they keep saying words I don’t get and what the
hell is a cupcake pan and how do people just happen to have one lying around?”
LUKE: (holding in his laughter) “Domestic Louis…” (nodding, giggling) “I like it.”
LOUIS: (palming his face dramatically) “Just help me find a cupcake pan…”
LUKE: “El probably has one. Or Liam.” (Louis raises his eyes to make a face, Luke elaborates)
“He cooks a ton. Zayn says it’s because Sophia has forced him into being a housewife.”
LOUIS: “Don’t really wanna knock there yet. Liam and Sophia are doing their mate-hate dance of
fighting with each other only to have wild sex right after. It is truly scarrifying.”
LUKE: “Not back together yet?”
LOUIS: “Nope. He’s trying to hold on to some of his dignity this time around…” (looking at his
milkshake) “Should I get another one?” (pause, opens up) “It helps to drink shakes.”
LUKE: “Hm?”
LOUIS: “With the drinking. When I feel like getting drunk I get myself a shake and feel more in
control…” (chuckles) “I’d rather be fat then a drunk, I guess.”
LUKE: (serious) “It’s good that you’re keeping to that despite everything that’s happened.”
LOUIS: “I’ve wanted to so many times—so many times. Couple of nights ago, I had to throw all
my beer cans out of the window.” (Luke seems worried) “The back area where people won’t get
killed when a flying can gets lodged into their skull. Give me some credit.” (Luke seems grossed
out) “All that money… But I know that drinking to be happy is only going to make me feel worse
the next day. With how shit things have turned out, I’m not sure I can handle more guilt.”
LUKE: “It’ll work out, you know? Cupcakes fix everything.”
LOUIS: (teasing) “I thought your job was to make me feel bad.”
LUKE: “Lots of competition for that position recently.” (Louis gives him the middle finger)
“Besides, rumor has it Zayn feels like shit so you’ve moved to his ‘poor-little-hurt-baby’ list. He’ll
apologize to you soon.”
LOUIS: “Ha. Zayn petting me is the last thing I need…” (more to himself) “Harry’s pretty good at
petting… I wouldn’t mind that. Especially in the morning.” (buries his face in his hands, blushing)
“I need to stop talking about Harry.”
LUKE: “You mean you need to start again? We’ve missed your long monologues about how if he
was a girl, he’d be pretty and you’d take him home to mother.”
LOUIS: (opens his mouth, speechless, closes it, opens it again) “…I only said that once.”
(mortified) “I was drunk.” (Luke’s laughing) “And it was three sentences long.”
LUKE: “Seven.”
LOUIS: “Nope three…” (grumpily) “Some were joined together by a silent semi-colon.” (sighing
melodramatically) “He probably doesn’t even like cupcakes!”
Overeact
Chapter 47: Overreact
[PULSE Night Club, Orange Blossom Trail, Orlando, 1:12am, Clubbing]
LOUIS: (leaning on the bar, holding a fruity drink) “It’s not because he’s gay.”
LUKE: “As you’ve said.”
LOUIS: “It’s not.”
LUKE: (rolling his eyes over exaggeratedly) “Multiple times.”
LOUIS: “No one seems to get it. They think it’s because he’s gay that I stopped talking to him—as
if I’m scared of gay people or something. That’s ridiculous. Why would I be scared of gay
people?”
LUKE: (sipping on his cocktail, indulging him) “Completely ridiculous.”
LOUIS: “Dumb!”
LUKE: “Super dumb.”
LOUIS: “Scapegoating.”
LUKE: “Whatever that means.”
LOUIS: (throwing him an annoyed look) “Be serious. This is actually a big deal in my life. I don’t
want it to be but it is. So the least you could do is take me seriously.”
LUKE: “No, I am.”
LOUIS: “And don’t drink. You’re eighteen for god’s sake.”
LUKE: “Not in this bar, I’m not.”
LOUIS: “How can they not tell it’s a fake? You look—“
LUKE: “If you say anything other than eighteen…” (mock thug accent) “Oh boy, you in trouble.”
LOUIS: “Young. You look young. But I suppose who cares about that as long as you’re attractive.
They need the fresh meat to lure in rich, lonely grandpas. I’m disgusted.”
LUKE: “Straight clubs have promoters. Gay clubs have promoters. Nothing changes. There’ll
always be people trying to sell your looks without your permission but at least you get a free night
out of it.”
LOUIS: “I didn’t say it was different in straight clubs. I just don’t have anyone I particularly care
about there while here I’d like for my protege not to be sold to anyone preferably.”
LUKE: (cuddling up to him, cooing) “Aww, Louis cares. I am cared for by Louis. Louis is—”
LOUIS: “Yeah, yeah. We got it.” (Luke moves away, grinning smugly) “You look like you could
be my son.”
LUKE: “Woah there, daddy. I look young but not that young. If they thought anything in those
lanes, it would not be a biological sort of daddy.”
LOUIS: “What other daddies are there?” (Luke smirks at him, Louis shakes his head) “I don’t
wanna know.”
LUKE: (provoking him) “Because you’re scared of gay people.”
LOUIS: “I’m not!”
LUKE: (laughing) “I was joking. Relax. You don’t have anything to prove to me.”
LOUIS: “If I was scared of gay people I wouldn’t be friends with you.”
LUKE: (teasing him) “You’re friends with me so I can be your token gay friend? So you have that
‘I got nothing against gay people, my friend is gay’ excuse all phobes use?”
LOUIS: (frowning) “I’m not a phobe. You think I’m a homophobe?”
LUKE: “You think I’d hang out with you if you were?”
LOUIS: “Exactly! Tell them that. Tell them I’m a very pro-gay person who likes having gay
friends.”
LUKE: “Tell them yourself.”
LOUIS: “I have! And they don’t believe me.” (throws back the rest of his drink, cringes at the
brain freeze, puts the glass on the bar) “It’s like they wanna pin me as the bad guy. I’m always the
bad guy.”
LUKE: “Oh, the villain paranoia is back.” (more serious) “Look, if you really wanna prove to
them that you’re fine with Harry being gay, just be fine with Harry being gay.”
LOUIS: “I am fine with Harry being gay.”
LUKE: “Why don’t you talk to him then?”
LOUIS: “Because…that has nothing to do with him being gay.” (groans, places his face in his
hands) “It’s not as simple as you’d think.”
LUKE: “But dragging yourself to a gay club with me is?”
LOUIS: “I’m proving a point.”
LUKE: (motioning out) “To whom exactly? It’s just you, me and all these gay men literally,
literally eating your ass with their eyes.”
LOUIS: (mocking) “Literally…” (signaling for another drink) “Good to know.”
LUKE: “What are you going to do? Get up on stage tomorrow during the parade and announce to
the world you went to a gay bar?”
LOUIS: “Not a bad idea.” (taking a sip of his drink) “That’ll teach them. Drinks cost you your
organs here.”
LUKE: (barks a laugh) “You pretend you have to buy your own when really, Lou, give anyone in
this place a side-glance and you’ll have three right in front of you.”
LOUIS: “You flatter me.” (finishing his second drink to get some courage before his next
question) “So…does Harry come here often?”
LUKE: (distracted, smiling at a random boy) “Hmm?” (turns towards Louis in realization, throws
a hand around him, smirking) “Oh…Is that what we’re doing?”
LOUIS: (shrugging him off) “What?”
LUKE: “Stalking your boyfriend to see if he’s fooling around with other men.”
LOUIS: (blushing, shoves him away) “I’m just asking to get to know you guys better. ”
LUKE: (amused) “Us gays?”
LOUIS: (grasping for straws) “I noticed you liked gay bars and wondered if he did too, that’s all.”
LUKE: “Some straight people like bars. Some don’t. Variety. Some gay people—“
LOUIS: “Shut up.”
LUKE: (laughing) “Yeah, he’s around. A lot more these last few weeks. He comes often but stays
little. Usually just a drink or two, talks to a few people. I don’t know much. I don’t run the same
circles. He’s VIP a lot, bottle service and such.”
LOUIS: “Simon must really be paying him well for extra hours if he can afford that.”
LUKE: “He knows people.” (pointing with the hand holding the glass) “Up there, that’s the VIP
section. Rich kids usually, some sugar daddies.”
LOUIS: “He hangs around sugar daddies?!”
LUKE: “No, no.” (incredulous) “Does he look like the type to you?”
LOUIS: (rambling, looking around the club) “I don’t know what he does in his free time. I don’t
know anything about him. I don’t know what his type is or what type he’s looking for. I don’t
know what he was looking for with me…”
LUKE: “Company. He was lonely. He doesn’t have many friends and you came along. I assume
he loved spending time with you because you were pretty cool and because it meant he wasn’t
going to the movies by himself.”
LOUIS: “He does that?”
LUKE: (shrugs) “I don’t know. I was trying to make a point. You shouldn’t make a big deal out of
him seeming like he wanted to always be around—I know you have commitment issues…”
LOUIS: “It wasn’t about that. I didn’t mind him being around. I was the one going to his room. If
anything, I was always around. But that’s the point. I didn’t want to make him think that I was
depended on him or something.”
LUKE: (knowingly) “Louis’ pride.”
LOUIS: (trying to convince himself) “I’m not. Dependent, that is. I liked his company but I’m
okay without it.”
LUKE: “So why do you care if he comes here or not then?”
LOUIS: “I was just curious. Didn’t wanna run into him.”
LUKE: “Or did you?”
LOUIS: “I don’t want him getting the wrong idea.”
LUKE: “He won’t. Trust me. We smell the straight on men and some gays love that—going for
the impossible—and some don’t bother at all, immediate turn off. Harry’s in the second category.
After his ex, definitely second category.”
LOUIS: (curious) “What happened with his ex?”
LUKE: “He’s dating a girl now. Harry’s furious. Rumor has it that is.”
LOUIS: “A girl?”
LUKE: “Yup. He’s bi apparently and in a pretty happy relationship with a blond, country singer.”
LOUIS: “How do you know all this?”
LUKE: “People talk. People gossip. Harry’s a bit of a hot subject around these parts of town. He
has to be. Anyone who has eyes wants to hit on him so wherever you go there are people asking if
he’s single or why he’s single or for how much longer he’ll be single. Honestly, all that messy
back story probably helps him.”
LOUIS: (clipped) “He gets hit on a lot?”
LUKE: “A whole lot.”
LOUIS: (pursuing his lips, gulping) “They get physical with him?”
LUKE: “Touch him you mean? Sometimes.”
LOUIS: (temper flaring) “Sometimes?!”
LUKE: “His butt gets slapped once in a while but it’s rare. The bouncers will kick people out
when that happens.”
LOUIS: (angry, his knuckles crack in his fist without him noticing) “He doesn’t do anything about
it?”
LUKE: “Depends on who it is. When they’re big and tough, you don’t wanna get involved. A guy
got harassed outside a club once by a group of rugby players just because he rejected one earlier in
the night. They’d have raped him if the bouncers didn’t show up. The story has everyone re-
thinking things. You don’t wanna get yourself in a situation you’ll regret, especially if you’re
walking around alone.”
LOUIS: (furious in concern) “He comes alone? Is he retarded? What the hell is he thinking?”
LUKE: (shrugs) “I don’t know, Louis. I don’t know anything about his group.”
LOUIS: “He doesn’t have a group! He’s a confused, oblivious, dumb, innocent baby and all these
disgusting pricks are gonna take advantage of him and then I’m going to have to murder them with
my own bare hands. And when I go to jail, I’ll get butt-raped every thursday and mouth-raped
every sunday.”
LUKE: (gaping) “Well…when you put it like that…” (serious) “I’m sure he can take care of
himself. Zayn wouldn’t have let him out otherwise. No one’s more protective than Zayn.”
LOUIS: “I am. I’m the most protective SOB out there and this has just about made me think of
locking him in a room forever.”
LUKE: (shaking his head, smile on his face) “You and him, man…something else completely.”
(taking a sip of his drink) “Don’t know what but I don’t think you do either.”
Scene 2
[Outside PULSE Night Club, Orange Blossom Trail, Orlando, 2:21am, Smoke Break]
LUKE: (wary) “Louis…”
LOUIS: “What? I’m not done yet.” (shows him the cigarette between his fingers) “We’ll get back
in the hellhole soon enough. Don’t get so thirsty.”
LUKE: “No…Harry’s here.”
LOUIS: “Huh?” (flips around to look at where Luke is pointing, Harry’s walking towards the bar
with two other boys, chuckling lightly, completely oblivious) “Well, won’t you look at that?”
LUKE: “Will you say hi?”
LOUIS: “Oh, I’ll say hi alright.”
LUKE: “Louis, don’t start a fight.”
LOUIS: “Get back inside.”
LUKE: (insistent) “Louis, I’m serious. Don’t pick a fight.” (descending into stressed) “I come
here often. I don’t wanna get kicked out.”
LOUIS: “Then go back inside like I told you.”
LUKE: (steps in front of him) “Are you joking right now? You’ve drank. This is dumb. You know
this is dumb. Let him go in and we’ll leave, pretend this never happened. Come on, let’s just leave,
please.” (grabs his forearm, pull him lightly) “I don’t like fights.”
LOUIS: “I won’t start a fight. Go inside.”
LUKE: (pouting) “Louis, please. Don’t do this.”

LOUIS: “I won’t get in a fight. I promise. I won’t do anything to him. Please, if you trust me, get
back inside. I don’t want you associated with me just in case because I don’t want anything to
happen to you.”
LUKE: (worried) “Will anything happen to you?!”
LOUIS: “No, but I’m not coming back here again. I’m allowed to have a reputation. You need to
be protected. Go back inside.”
LUKE: “Louis, I don’t like this.”
LOUIS: “I know you don’t so I’ll keep it short. I’ll go say hi and come back. You order a drink in
the meantime and wait for me at the bar.”
LUKE: “You’ll come back?”
LOUIS: “I’ll come back. Now go.” (pushes him towards the bar, watches as Luke turns around a
few times to throw him worried glances but disappears inside the door. Harry approaches the
bouncer, still oblivious, flashing him his ID, other two boys behind him chattering, Louis stomps
closer to them, cigarette between his lips, hands in his jacket pockets) “Hey Styles.” (Harry’s eyes
flicker on his, widen in surprise then confusion) “Come here for a second, princess.”
Over My Dead Body
Chapter 48: Over My Dead Body
LOUIS: “I’ll come back. Now go.” (pushes him towards the bar, watches as Luke turns around a
few times to throw him worried glances but disappears inside the door. Harry approaches the
bouncer, still oblivious, flashing him his ID, other two boys behind him chattering, Louis stomps
closer to them, cigarette between his lips, hands in his jacket pockets) “Hey Styles.” (Harry’s eyes
flicker on his, widen in surprise then confusion) “Come here for a second, princess.”
FRIEND #1: (groaning) “Ugh, the never-ending stream of assholes…”
FRIEND #2: (to Harry, touching him gently on the back) “Ignore him.”
FRIEND #1: “We’ll get inside.”
HARRY: “No, wait.”
FRIEND #1: “He’s just another drunk, trying to get your attention.”
HARRY: “No, no. I know him.”
FRIEND #2: (surprised) “You know him?”
HARRY: “Yeah, wait…” (to Louis, more breathy, unsure, looking around) “What are you doing
here?”
LOUIS: “I’m waiting for you to come so I suggest you do that.”
BOUNCER: “Is this punk bothering you because I can kindly show him the back door.”
HARRY: (urgently) “No. That won’t be necessary. He’s fine. I know him. We’re…colleagues. I
just didn’t expect him to be here, that’s all.”
FRIEND #2: “Liam?”
LOUIS: (bitter) “Not quite though I know Harry’d have loved for it to be Liam since he drips wet
on the floor at the sight of him. I’m Louis. I don’t care for your names but I’d like to borrow your
crown jewel for a few moments if you don’t mind? I’ll bring him back in one piece don’t you
worry.”
FRIEND #1: “We do mind actually. We’re going to go in. If you wanna talk, walk your ass
inside.”
LOUIS: “You walk your ass inside before my foot walks into your ass.”
BOUNCER: “If you don’t want trouble, twink, move along.”
LOUIS: “I’m not a twink or whatever that means in gay. Shut your trap.”
BOUNCER: (rolling his eyes) “Alright, twink.”

LOUIS: “Shut your trap, I said.”
HARRY: (through his teeth) “Louis.”
FRIEND #2: “The kid’s got some nerve. Who even is he?”
FRIEND #1: “I’ve never seen him before.”
LOUIS: “And you’ll never see me again.” (growled) “Harry.”
HARRY: “Louis, what is going on? How did you get here?”
LOUIS: “Move, dammit, so we can have a bit of privacy. You really wanna put on a show right
now? I’m not drunk enough for that.”
FRIEND #2: “Harry, do you want us to do something?”
HARRY: (loudly) “No!” (softer) “No, I have it. I said no. I’m okay. I’m gonna go say hi to him.”
FRIEND #1: (grabbing him, holding him in place) “I don’t think so.”
FRIEND #2: “Yeah, Harry, he looks…dangerous.”
LOUIS: “I’ll only get dangerous if you grab him like that again. Move along. You’re irrelevant.”
(the boy gapes, insulted)
HARRY: (interjects before the friend can speak up) “I got it. I’m sorry. He gets feisty when he’s
drunk but he’s sweet. He won’t do anything. Don’t worry.” (already stepping over the ropes) “Just
give us a few minutes, yeah?”
FRIEND #1: “If you don’t come back in ten, I’m calling the police.” (to Louis) “Do you hear that,
twink? The police.”
LOUIS: (rolling his eyes) “Piss off.”
HARRY: (chuckles, stands next to Louis awkwardly) “Where to?”
LOUIS: (starts walking down the block towards the parking lot, Harry follows) “I can’t believe
you come here.”
HARRY: (fidgeting nervously with his curls, trying to pin them back) “Since when do you come
here?”
LOUIS: (stomping ahead, angry) “I can’t believe you come to this sketchy dump so greasy
scumbags can touch your ass and treat you like a slut.”
HARRY: (face dropping) “What are you talking about? How did you even find me?”
LOUIS: (stopping, facing him) “I didn’t. I’m not here for you.”
HARRY: “Why are you here then?”
LOUIS: “Luke. He’s my friend. He’s gay. I came with him.”

HARRY: (makes a face) “Hemmo? You and him are friends?”
LOUIS: “Yes, close friends. I didn’t know you guys were on a nickname basis.”
HARRY: “I’ve heard of him. He’s a child…” (huffy, jealous, blurting) “Blond…” (under his
breath) “Probably dumber than Liam.”
LOUIS: (stepping closer, squinting at Harry’s face) “Are you high?”
HARRY: “Do I have to be high to suggest you like ‘em young and stupid?”
LOUIS: (confused) “What? No, you moron, are you actually high? Have you taken drugs?”
HARRY: (evading) “I’m surprised you’re not wasted by now.”
LOUIS: “Answer the question.”
HARRY: “No…I’m not on drugs.”
LOUIS: (grabs his face to study him closer) “Don’t lie to me. Your pupils are dilated.” (pushing
some of Harry’s wet curls away from his forehead) “And you’re sweating.”
HARRY: (can’t look away from Louis’ eyes) “Because you’re close and touching me. You have
that effect—”
LOUIS: “Don’t lie to me.”
HARRY: (blinks once, whispered) “I’m trying not to.”
LOUIS: (not buying it) “What are you on?”
HARRY: (looks away, chewing on the inside of his cheek) “Molly.”
LOUIS: (pulls back, pissed off) “You take Molly now? You go to shady bars with shady people
and take drugs? What happened to Disney?”
HARRY: “This is not the village.”
LOUIS: (glaring at him) “What happened to drugs are bad? What the hell happened to that? Who
is this pathetic idiot standing in front of me? This is nothing like you.”
HARRY: (sarcastic) “You would know what’s like me since you’ve spoken to me for exactly a
week.”
LOUIS: “A month. And I thought I knew but maybe you’re right because the Harry I know would
be caught dead before stepping in there. Does Zayn know?”
HARRY: (stalling) “Yes.”
LOUIS: “He knows you prostitute yourself like this? He knows and lets you go to places where
some sleazy failure might force himself on you every alley?!”
HARRY: (cringing, hugging himself, embarrassed) “I’m not prostituting myself. I’m just having a
night out. Everyone needs one once in a while. You get drunk all the time!” (Louis flinches)
“You’re allowed to have friends. Why can’t I?”
LOUIS: (shaking, pacing around, hand in his hair) “What happens if you get hurt? Who watches
out for you? Who protects you when some fat bastard wants his dick sucked?”
HARRY: “I never come alone. I never get involved. I don’t do that…” (struggling, pained) “What
you’re suggesting, I don’t do any of that. I don’t—I’m not that low. I wouldn’t degrade myself…I
only kiss people I really like and right now that’s one person.”
LOUIS: “You think those sissies will protect you?”
HARRY: “Shut up.”
LOUIS: “No, you have no right to turn this into a lecture about sexuality because you sure as hell
should know by now I don’t give a flying fuck what yours is as long as it’s not sugar daddies and
jerk-offs. You wanna be gay, Harry, be my guest. I don’t care. Be whatever you want to be. But
don’t tell me that two flamboyant dudes in heels and feather boas will fight to protect your honor. If
you got shoved, those two gems you brought here would hesitate to jump in.”
HARRY: (exploding, almost in tears) “And you wouldn’t?!”
LOUIS: (loud, matching his voice) “No! I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t for a fucking second. I’d punch
the first person to lay as much as a finger on you. And so would Liam and Zayn. Sandy. Josh.
Niall. Any of us would defend you.” (Harry seems stunned speechless so Louis continues) “What
you’re doing here is not safe and I can’t allow it. I will not go home tonight with the knowledge
that you might get shoved into a wall with tears in your face and a dick up your ass. I don’t care
how often you’ve done this. I don’t care if you think that bouncer has your back. You’re coming
home with me and Luke and you’re never coming here again unless one of us is with you.” (soft,
pleading, touching Harry’s arm) “I will not let you get hurt. You might have lost your mind but
mine is still intact. You don’t belong here so get in the car while I call Luke.”
HARRY: (blown away, sniffling with no tears, after a few seconds of silence and breathing,
whispering) “I need to tell them I’m not coming back. They might think you really offed me.”
LOUIS: “Call them.” (steps away to call Luke, on the phone) “Come to the parking lot, we’re
leaving.” (pause) “Don’t make me come get you.” (turns back around, Harry’s leaning on the car,
still withdrawn) “Okay? Everything’s okay?”
HARRY: “You let him come but you won’t let me?”
LOUIS: “I let him come against my will. I hate that he goes out so much but he’s a teen and he’s
gonna whatever he wants to do. I’d rather know where he is so I can help. If I don’t support him
then he won’t feel comfortable calling me when he’s messed up. I trust he’ll be smart.”
HARRY: “And I won’t?”
LOUIS: “You don’t have the best track record right now.”
HARRY: “You don’t know anything about what I do here.”
LOUIS: (growling) “And I don’t want to know if it involves stuff that will piss me off.”
HARRY: “What do you care?” (steps in front of him) “What do you care what I do and who I see?
Why do you care?”
LOUIS: (analyzes him) “I just do. A person once told me that you can’t help caring about a person
if you like them. That might have been you, the other you, the real you, not this dolled up druggie.
Wipe that eyeliner off your face.” (soft) “You’re good enough without all this glittery bullshit. You
don’t need this.”
HARRY: (lowers his eyes in shame, wipes his hands against his eyes, sad, defeated) “I don’t do
this often.”
LOUIS: “What?”
HARRY: “Take drugs, go out. This. I don’t do it often. Few times. No one knows. Zayn doesn’t
know about the drug part. He’d kill me if he found out. No one knows but you. And I wanna trust
you.”
LOUIS: “They gave it to you?”
HARRY: (shrugs, embarrassed) “Everyone was doing it. They usually do it. It’s easier to party on
it. I was feeling a little off today so I thought it would help…I’m not going to make it a thing. I’d
never. I’m not like that…God.” (palming his face) “This is embarrassing. I never wanted you to
see me like this. I’m mortified.”
LOUIS: “It doesn’t matter. You’ve seen me drunk off my mind.”
HARRY: “That’s different. That’s not rock bottom.” (pained) “You must think I’m such a loser.”
LOUIS: “None of this makes you a loser.”
HARRY: “Wanting attention that desperately makes me worse than a loser—a whore perhaps.”
LOUIS: “You stand up for Eleanor but degrade yourself with those insults?”
HARRY: “You’re fine calling El that but I’m somehow different?”
LOUIS: “You are different. I’d never call you that.”
HARRY: (sad snort) “God, what would Ed say now?” (palms his mouth) “He’d really have a
reason to dump me.”
LOUIS: “What was his first one?”
LUKE: (running towards them, interrupting) “Louis!” (stopping when he reaches them, shoves
Louis back) “What were you thinking?” (screechy) “What the hell were your thinking? I was dying
of worry. This wasn’t part of the plan. Are you nuts?”
LOUIS: “Nothing happened. Calm yourself.”
LUKE: “Thank god nothing happened. But what if something had? You say you’re never
supposed to go into these things alone and then what do you do? Just that. You broke your own
rule. How am I supposed to take them seriously if you don’t? You told me never to do this! Never
alone.”
LOUIS: “You’re a kid.”

LUKE: “I’m not a kid! Don’t call me a kid.”
LOUIS: “You’re eighteen. I am not getting you into any fights. If it had been Niall or Liam then
hell yeah, I’d have wanted them right there to back me up. But not you and not Ashton. I don’t
want you fighting anyone anyway. That’s not something to be proud of.”
LUKE: “Then you’re a hell of a bad example.” (to Harry) “You okay?”
HARRY: “Yeah.” (fidgeting with his coat sleeves) “We just talked. He didn’t do anything. No
fighting…”
LUKE: “I thought he’d punch you. He was that riled up when he left. You drive him mad.”
LOUIS: (rolling his eyes) “I don’t punch friends.”
HARRY: “He didn’t…” (blushing) “He just…gave me a lecture.”
LUKE: “He does that when he’s worried. I get three a month.”
HARRY: (fake smile) “I bet…”
LOUIS: “Alright, enough. Get in the car, both of you.” (to Harry) “Keys? I assume you won’t
fight me on this.”
HARRY: (hands over his keys, walks solemnly towards the passenger seat) “Wish you’d stop
playing hero.” (gets in, shuts the door)
LOUIS: “Well, one of us has to.”
LUKE: “Louis, what is going on?”
LOUIS: “Nothing. He wants to go home and I don’t wanna leave you here. Lemme see your
fake?”
LUKE: “Why?” (hands over the ID) “What’s up?”
LOUIS: (pockets it) “You’re not getting that back.”
LUKE: (whiny, dramatic) “Oh, come on! That’s not fair!”
LOUIS: “You’re eighteen. Time for you to start suffering like one.”
LUKE: “Come on! I’m legal in Australia. I’m legal everywhere but here. I drink responsibly. I
never puke. I never pass out—I drink better than you do!”
LOUIS: “You think that was the right thing to say?”
LUKE: (stretching the word) “It’s true! I’m good. Don’t punish me like this.”
LOUIS: “Get in the car and quit whining.”
LUKE: (does as told, moaning all the way) “Louis, please. I need that to have a social life. Don’t
be like this. Just because we had one bad night—”
LOUIS: (starting the car) “You’re clearly not ready to have one if you think bars like that are
fun.”
LUKE: “I’ll go to other bars then. I’ll let you scout them for me. Please…”
LOUIS: “We’ll see.”
LUKE: “What did I do? I didn’t do anything. Ground Harry. He’s the bad kid.” (crossing his
arms) “You’re being daddy again.”
HARRY: (quietly, with a smile on his face) “What’s happening?”
LUKE: “Louis has confiscated my fake ID and refuses to give it back.” (pouting) “Tell him he’s
being overprotective.”
HARRY: (surprised then pleased, looks at Louis fondly) “He’s not. He’s being amazing…”
LUKE: (groans, slumps on the back seat dramatically) “Ugh! You’re both parents! How do you
even have friends? How do you even make jokes? How do you even?!”
HARRY: (giggles, under his breath) “Don’t know about you but in my life, Louis can be daddy
any day…”
LOUIS: “What?”
LUKE: (bursts into laughter) “Oh god. Ace!”
LOUIS: “Not the biological daddy?”
LUKE / HARRY: (simultaneously) “Not the biological daddy!”
LOUIS: (shakes his head) “Still don’t wanna know.”

Overcomplicate
Chapter 49: Overcomplicate
Scene 1
[Harry’s Rover, Driving Home, 3:09am, Puppy]
LOUIS: (driving, turns towards Harry) “Cold?”
HARRY: (dazed) “Huh?”
LOUIS: (half-smile) “You cold? You want my jacket?”
LUKE: (head on the back of the seat) “It’s ninety degrees out, Louis.”
LOUIS: “When did you start speaking in freedom units, smartass?”
LUKE: (chuckles) “I bet if I had said it in Celsius, you’d have busted my balls for that. Are we
playing soccer tomorrow?”
LOUIS: “Sure—“
HARRY: (suddenly speaking up) “Yeah, I want the jacket.”
LOUIS: (looks at him, confused) “Yeah?”
HARRY: (small) “Please?”
LOUIS: (starts to shuffle one arm out) “No need to get all cute." (Harry blushes)
LUKE: “Yo, can you do that later so we don’t die?”
HARRY: “He’s fine.” (smiles) “He’s good at one-handing it.”
LOUIS: (hands him the jacket, dramatic) “Someone here believes in me.”
LUKE: (rolling his eyes) “You’re good at a lot of things but driving isn’t one of them.”
LOUIS: “Harry, correct the child.”
HARRY: (grinning) “Louis is good at a lot of things. Period.”
LOUIS: (biting his lip to contain his smile) “Hear that, Luke? That is the sound of you being
replaced as a bestie." (Harry smiles wider)
LUKE: “Who has who whipped in this relationship is the real question?”
LOUIS: “I thought it was clear…” (Harry glances at him, nervous, biting his lip) “He has me
whipped because he has nice curls and he smells good.”
HARRY: (shocked in glee then recovering, mock offended, rowdy) “Oh, how dare you! I am in
fact more whipped.”
LUKE: (sitting up, excited) “Yes, battle it out, yes.”
HARRY: “You have me whipped cream whipped. I pick my outfit in the morning based on what I
think you’d like.”
LUKE: (cheering) “Whipped cream whipped!”
LOUIS: “You’re my main topic of debate. With everyone including people who have never met
you.”
LUKE: “This is true. Can confirm. I was introduced to you as the cocker spaniel that follows
Louis around and shits on his dreams."
LOUIS: (turns towards Harry) "Get it because the curls and--it was funny at the time. My humor
circa 2012."
HARRY: (blushed) “Well, hearing that is probably gonna be the highlight of my week. Isn't that
whipped?”
LUKE: “That is whipped. I’m leaning towards cocker curly.”
LOUIS: “That was good, Luke."
LUKE: "Thank you, daddy."
LOUIS: (makes a face while Harry snickers) "Sure." (turns towards Harry again) "I’m driving
you home. From a gay bar. I’m not even gay.”
HARRY: “I make you tea. In the morning. I don’t even drink tea.”
LUKE: (exaggerated shock) “Oh! Blasphemy.”
LOUIS: “Now that is an issue in itself. I’ll give you the victory just because I feel bad for you not
ever having tasted tea.”
HARRY: “Ha!” (slumps back in his seat, arms crossed) “I win.” (high fives Luke)
LUKE: “Congratulations, you are now the most whipped man on earth.”
LOUIS: (sarcastic) “An honor! Your majesty.”
HARRY: (points his tongue out at both of them, to Louis) “Shh, rookie. You, too, will learn.”
LOUIS: “Oh for shit’s sake. I gave you the win.”
LUKE: “Man, this is the most I’ve heard him speak in three years.”
HARRY: (grins) “I only talk when I’m winning.” (Louis rolls his eyes) "Dominating!"
LOUIS: (laughing) “Gloat a little more, won’t you?”
Scene 2
[Outside Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 3:33am, Who’s Line Is It Anyway?]
HARRY: (leans on the door) “You didn’t have to walk me all the way to my room. I wasn't going
to run back to the club…”
LOUIS: “Don’t make me take your keys.”
HARRY: “You could…I don’t know…” (bites his lip) “Guard the door.”
LOUIS: (places a hand on the door next to Harry’s head and the other on his waist) “Do I look
like a dog to you?”
HARRY: (laughing) “That was me trying to flirt again…” (giggling) “I’m so bad, it has to be
funny.”
LOUIS: (smiles lightly, shakes his head) “Is that what you use on those club punks?”
HARRY: “I wouldn’t want them to sleepover…” (looks down, then through his lashes, flirtatious)
“That’s what I’m asking for right now…”
LOUIS: “You need someone to take care of you?”
HARRY: “Are you volunteering?”
LOUIS: (half shrug) “You did it for me so I’d do it for you.”
HARRY: (snorts) “So mechanical.” (conversation dies off) “You don’t have to…I’ll be fine on my
own.”
LOUIS: “You’ll feel bad for a few days.”
HARRY: “Huh?”
LOUIS: “Molly. Depending on how it affects you, you might have trouble coming down.”
HARRY: (gulping) “Last time…I just felt okay, peaceful almost.”
LOUIS: “It’s different every time. The more you take it, the more likely it is to have a horrid
hangover.”
HARRY: “How horrid? Like with alcohol?”
LOUIS: “No, nothing physical. Just emotionally ruined.” (Harry frowns) “Depressed, sad, a
general feeling of impending doom. Once I felt as if I wasn’t going to make it to tomorrow. I
wasn’t hurt or anything. I just was convinced I’d die. It’s a funny drug like that. All that happiness
you get beforehand has to be paid for some way.”
HARRY: (regretful) “I shouldn’t have done it.”
LOUIS: “You shouldn’t but it’s okay. It’s not the end of the world.”
HARRY: “Will you stay?”
LOUIS: “I will if you want me to.”

HARRY: “Since you cockblocked me from having someone here, I think you have to make
amends.”
LOUIS: (amused) “Getting better at this flirting thing, aren’t ya?”
HARRY: (blushes, smitten) “I have to get to the point where I do it without the other person
noticing. Like you.”
LOUIS: “Like me, huh? Is that what I do?” (leaning in) “When have I flirted with you?”
HARRY: (breathy, flush against the door) “If I knew it wouldn’t be good…”
LOUIS: (bites his lip, looking at Harry intently) “Lots of practice, I guess.”
HARRY: “That’s why I flirt with you. For the practice.” (whispered against Louis’ lips) “Nothing
else.”
LOUIS: (pulls away) “You’re so dumb. And the eyeliner annoys me.”
HARRY: “I’ll wash it off if you stay.”
LOUIS: “I’ll stay if you never go back to that club again.”
HARRY: “I’ll never go back if you stay every time I feel the itch to go.”
LOUIS: “And if I don’t stay tonight?”
HARRY: (thinks it over, looks at their shoes) “Nothing. I wouldn’t be surprised. This is all a
gamble afterall.”
LOUIS: (pushes himself off the door) “One not worth winning.”
HARRY: (smiling) “I’ve already won though. I keep winning tonight.”
HARRY: “You’re staying.”
LOUIS: (rolling his eyes) “Whatever. You have a more comfortable bed anyway.”
HARRY: (chuckling, unlocking the door) “They’re the same. This is a hotel.”
LOUIS: “Blah, blah, blah… Maybe when you ask me to kill you tomorrow, I will.”
HARRY: (worried) “I might do that?”
LOUIS: “No, maybe… How good are you with handling sadness?”
HARRY: “Depends on who’s beside me.”
LOUIS: “Oh god, now you’re getting cheesy. Enough flirting for today.”
HARRY: (quietly, sheepishly) “I like you…”

LOUIS: “That’s not even flirting. That’s weak, Styles. Weak.”
HARRY: “Really though.”
LOUIS: “Alright, get in bed.”
HARRY: (leering) “Oooh.”
LOUIS: “No, just no. And by the way, I'm letting you win.”
Scene 3
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 4:03am, Cupcake Flour]
LOUIS: (in bed, lights out, harsh whispering) “Harry!”
HARRY: (mumbled) “Huh?”
LOUIS: “Do you like cupcakes?”
HARRY:“What?”
LOUIS: “Cupcakes.”
HARRY: “What about ‘em?”
LOUIS: “Do you like them?”
HARRY: “I like you.” (tired giggling)
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes) “Not cupcakes?”
HARRY: (latches on to him, nuzzling) “Only you.”
LOUIS: (tries to push him away) “No. You can’t like me.”
HARRY: (moves away, pouting) “Okay then.” (smiling again) “I’ll like cupcakes instead.”
LOUIS: (fond) “Good.” (closing his eyes, smile still on his face ) “Let’s sleep now.”
HARRY: “Aren’t we gonna eat cupcakes?”
LOUIS: “Tomorrow.”
HARRY: (baby voice) “But…You woke me up and made me hungry.”
LOUIS: (amused) “You can like me until you get the cupcakes.”
HARRY: “Okay…” (sneaky) “But I can only do that if we cuddle.”
LOUIS: (rolling his eyes, wary) “Is that what you do with Zayn?”
HARRY: (mumbled, sleepy) “Don’t ask questions that will make you mad. I don’t want us mad
anymore.” (blinks his eyes open, stares at Louis who’s dumbstruck) “So let’s not talk about anyone
else when we’re together, alright?”
LOUIS: “Alright. I just wanna get to know you.”
HARRY: (nuzzling closer) “You will. Don’t force it. You’re not supposed to force things, right?
You taught me that.”
LOUIS: (hesitates before gently petting Harry’s head) “It’s hard not to overthink it with you. I
don’t want you hurt again.”
HARRY: “Yet you only hurt me when you overthink it.”
LOUIS: (soft) “I’m sorry.”
HARRY: (tackles him to bed in a hug) “Stop making me sad! Molly will have me jumping out of
the window like this.”
LOUIS: (hugging him back, chuckling) “That was my plan right there.” (Harry raises his head to
look at him, Louis winks) “Then I won’t be blamed for your death.”
HARRY: (his mouth go from o-shaped to smiling) “Genius!” (they both laugh)
// END OF SECOND SAGA \\

Overcome
SAGA 3: THE KING TURNED LLAMA
Chapter 50: Overcome
Scene 1
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 8:13am, Wow, There Tiger!]
HARRY: (one eye opened, mumbling) “What are you doing?”
LOUIS: (on his knees, wide awake, petting Harry’s head) “I’m petting you.”
HARRY: “What?”
LOUIS: (awkwardly pressing his curls against his head) “I thought you’d want to be petted.”
(pushes harder while Harry winces) “Pet, pet.” (accidentally pokes Harry in the eye)
HARRY: (low whine) “Ouch…”
LOUIS: “You don’t like?” (tries to get closer, pushes all his weight on Harry’s face as he
shuffles)
HARRY: (lower) “Ouch…”
LOUIS: “Shh…” (pets him harder) “Enjoy, kitty.”
HARRY: (amused, between sobs and chuckles) “Hurts.” (Louis accidentally pulls out a chunk of
hair, Harry chokes) “So much…”
LOUIS: (mock angry, screechy) “Why do you not like it?”
HARRY: (tries to move his head away) “You’re killing me…”
LOUIS: (grabs his face with both hands, moves it back closer, pets him again) “No, no.”
HARRY: (pained but smiling) “Yes.”
LOUIS: (petting him like you’d pet a big cat from Harry’s head to his back) “Shh…Nice petting
for nice kitty.”
HARRY: (rolls on his back, laughing as he grabs Louis’ hand and pulls it away) “That’s not how
you nice pet someone. You’re supposed to be gentle.” (guides Louis’ hand on his forehead, slowly
pushes his fringe back) “Like this.”
LOUIS: (humph, yanks his hand back then tickles his stomach, Harry wriggles and squeaks) “I’ll
pet your stomach now!’
HARRY: “No!” (out of breath) “You must not be too good with…”
LOUIS: “My hands? Oh, Styles, you’d be surprised.”

HARRY: (flushed red) “Animals! I was gonna say animals!” (embarrassed) “Stop tickling me!”
LOUIS: (keeps going) “Not until kitty purrs.”
HARRY: (laughing so hard, barely any sound comes out, pained) “Kitty purrs when he likes it. I
don’t like this.”
LOUIS: “Like it!”
HARRY: “Stop!” (heaving) “I can’t breathe—“ (laughing more) “Louis!”
LOUIS: (smiles, as he pulls away) “Good morning!”
HARRY: (still breathing heavily, sweaty, flushed) “That…was one way to start the day. Not the
best but one…”
LOUIS: (crossing his arms, smirking) “I thought you’d want to make me tea!” (jumps off the bed
towards the kitchen) “Disney awaits us!”
HARRY: (groaning) “How are you like this? We slept four hours.”
LOUIS: (running back with all the boxes of tea in his hands, dumps them on the bed) “I have
brought you the tea!”
HARRY: (covered in tea packs, whiny) “Why are you doing this?”
LOUIS: “The real question is why would you have all this tea if you didn’t like it?” (grabbing
some of the packs, placing them on Harry’s face) “I smell a liar.”
HARRY: (underneath the pile of tea, mumbled) “Note to self, never take molly again.”
LOUIS: (smirking wider) “What was that? More petting?” (high-pitched, exaggerated) “Why
Harry, I thought you’d never ask!”
HARRY: (flinging up, tea everywhere, hands before him) “No! No. No more petting. No. I’m up.”
LOUIS: (pouting, teasing) “It’s almost like you don’t like me touching you.”
HARRY: (shaking his head fearfully) “Please, no more. Not sure this is the best timing for that.”
Scene 2
[McDonalds, Walt Disney World in Florida, 12:15pm, Lunchtime]
ELEANOR: “How are you?”
LOUIS: (playing with his straw) “Okay. I’m starting to notice I eat at McDonalds a lot. What does
that tell you about a person’s mental well-being?”
ELEANOR: “That they’re too lazy to go to the village…or too friendless.”
LOUIS: (sarcastic) “Wow, are you a seer because that was my life right there, lazy and
friendless.”
ELEANOR: “How are you with the boys?”
LOUIS: “Okay.”
ELEANOR: “Speaking to any of them yet? It’s been some time now.”
LOUIS: “Yeah…”
ELEANOR: “Yeah, it’s been a while or yeah, you talked it out?”
LOUIS: “Yeah, we talked it out. Kind of. I don’t know. Niall came over couple of days ago. We
talked. We wrestled a little on the carpet. I might or might have given him a bust lip.” (blows into
his milkshake) “As things go…”
ELEANOR: “Was that why he had bruises all over his arms? He told us he went to the gym.”
LOUIS: “I am Niall’s gym. If it weren’t for me, he’d be fat with all the food he eats.”
ELEANOR: “So you guys beat each other?”
LOUIS: “We didn’t fight, not like fight fight. We just grappled. It’s what men do, Eleanor.
Testosterone must be released somehow. We don’t get periods.”
ELEANOR: “First of all, that’s not how periods work. Second, do you mean men or barbarians?”
LOUIS: “Barbarians are men since we’ve decided to be so technical. It’s the law of the world.
Women bitch. Men grapple.”
ELEANOR: “But you bitch so you’re the exception.”
LOUIS: (dry) “Smart comeback.” (rolling his eyes) “I practically handed that to you on a silver
platter.”
ELEANOR: “Practically.” (smiling) “But you talked? Why did it take so long?”
LOUIS: “I was hurt. A part of me really thought I never wanted to see him again.”
ELEANOR: “But?”
LOUIS: (grumbled) “But I missed hanging out with him. I missed being able to call him. There
were times when I couldn’t fall asleep and I thought perhaps I should call Niall before I realized oh
wait, he’s the actual problem…well. (snorts) “One of them. I’m a man of many problems. Ninety-
nine to be exact.”
ELEANOR: “I knew you were going to see reason.”
LOUIS: (scoffs) “That’s one way to put it.”
ELEANOR: “Niall meant well. He shouldn’t have told but he never wanted to hurt you. He cares
about you.”
LOUIS: “I was a wimp so I forgave him way too easily because I hate, hate, hate being alone. I
was miserable. I couldn’t do it any longer. I lost him. I lost Liam. I lost Harry. I was alone and I’d
do anything to avoid that even if that means temporary peace until he hurts me again.”
ELEANOR: (holding his hand) “You forgave him because you knew he was truly sorry, Louis.
That doesn’t make you a wimp. It makes you a good guy.” (Louis nods, looking down) “What
about Harry? Talking to him yet?”
LOUIS: “Yup.”
ELEANOR: “Did you apologize?”
LOUIS: (opens his mouth, make a confused noise) “Something like that. It was a very confusing
night.”
ELEANOR: (eyebrows up) “Night?”
LOUIS: (sarcastic) “Yes, Eleanor, I snuck into his room and jumped him. We were role-playing
housewife and burglar.”
ELEANOR: (shrugs) “I’d believe it.”
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes dramatically) “I suppose I should apologize, right? Like one more time, to
seal the deal. Make it official and stuff?”
ELEANOR: “You can if you’re still don’t know if you guys are okay.”
LOUIS: “We are…” (pause) “I think. I am. And he seemed fine but then again, he wasn’t himself
much. Did you know he goes out clubbing?” (Eleanor nods) “With sugar daddies!”
ELEANOR: “I’d believe it.”
LOUIS: “Is there anything you wouldn’t?”
ELEANOR: “When it comes to Harry…” (pretends to think) “No. I’d believe it all. Besides he
told me a while ago he was going out to…” (air quoting) “Explore his options.”
LOUIS: (snappy) “Why isn’t he dating you? You’d be the perfect choice. All happy and
optimistic.” (dramatic) “A ray of sunshine.”
ELEANOR: (rolling her eyes) “Real options, Louis. I’d gladly date him but he wants a real guy in
he’s life. He’s gay, remember? Do you need a couple of minutes to process that? Digest it? Take it
all in? Will this require a mental breakdown? If so I’m gonna go order some more chips.”
LOUIS: “Nope. He can be gay all he wants. He can be gay and frolic and ride naked on rainbow
unicorns and lick salted caramel off of god’s abs and do all he wants with his gayness.”
ELEANOR: (amused) “Yes, I’m sure that’s what all gays do on a daily basis.” (sighs
melodramatically) “Why are all the good ones gay…?”
LOUIS: “Careful, there’s some drool right there on your chin…” (reaching over) “Lemme get
that.”
ELEANOR: (smacks his hand away) “Ass.”
LOUIS: (snorts) “Not my fault your jaw hit the table.”
ELEANOR: “Says the guy who melts in a puddle of angst whenever Harry looks at him.”
LOUIS: “I don’t know who that guy is but it can’t be me because I do not do that.”
ELEANOR: (smirking) “A puddle of angst, sass and pouting if he doesn’t laugh at your jokes .”
LOUIS: “More proof that’s not me. Everyone laughs at my jokes. I am very funny.” (Eleanor
laughs) “See?”
Scene 3
[Outside the Barnstormer, Walt Disney World in Florida, 1:04pm, The Badass Sorry]
LOUIS: “Hey.”
HARRY: (smiling brightly) “Hi!”
LOUIS: (coughing) “Look, I’m going to say this in the middle of the park, still daylight,
completely sober so you know it’s the truth.”
HARRY: (suspicious) “Are you fired again?”
LOUIS: “What? No. Not yet.”
HARRY: “Then what?”
LOUIS: (takes a deep breath) “I am sorry for everything I said that day. It was ignorant of me. I
never meant to hurt you. I wanna make things right because I think we’re good friends so I’d like
to continue being friends with you. You’re good for me—“ (cursing lightly) Dammit, I started off
so strong and then lost it towards the end. Ugh! Point is, I am sorry for making you feel bad
because that’s a shitty thing to do to your best friend—I did mean that yesterday—I wasn’t drunk. I
don’t get drunk…As much. Because of you. So you should really be sorry for taking that pleasure
away from me. And I’m sure there was a point to this but…” (motions emptily) “There you have
it.” (smiling) “End quote, William Shakespeare.”
HARRY: (chuckles) “I’d give it like a six out of ten.”
LOUIS: (raises an eyebrow, amused) “Let’s see you do better then.”
HARRY: (coughs dramatically) “I’m sorry for being a bitch.”
LOUIS: (motions for him to continue, after a few seconds) “That’s it?”
HARRY: (giddy like a child) “It’s short and to the point. I thought of it all day. I was thinking,
what can I say that I won’t stutter and that will sound nice and badass—since you know, you are
that but I’m not that much—I know, probably confusing since my apology as so baddass. Wait—I
was trying to explain to you that.” (stops, exhales) “It’s short but it’s honest and it has no rambling
but like, I added the ‘bitch’ part to personalize it since you like me cursing but I don’t like cursing
so it’s like a subtle sacrifice to show you that I mean it.” (nods his head in pride) “Solid eight our
ten, I’d think.”
LOUIS: (barely holding his laughter back) “Solid moron.”
HARRY: “Fine, I take it back then. I’m sorry you are a little bitch.”
LOUIS: (bursts into laughter, nodding) “Better.”

HARRY: (clear he was scared of the reaction, relieved to see Louis smiling) “I’m sorry we’re both
bitches?”
LOUIS: “Perfect.”
Scene 4
[Tomorrowland Arcade, Walt Disney World in Florida, 4:24pm, Ass, Ass, Ass]
JACK: (screaming) “Hades is back! Ah! Hades didn’t die in river of ghosts! Hades is invisible.”
LOUIS: (chuckling, picks Jack up as he runs into Louis’ arms) “That’s right, bub. Hades beat
those ghost’s asses.”
HARRY: (smile drops) “Louis.”
JACK: (smiles bigger) “Asses, yes.”
LOUIS: (winks at Jack) “Say Hades has a big ass.”
HARRY: “Lou—!”
JACK: (screaming in joy) “Hades has a big ass.”
LOUIS: (turns towards Harry, smirking) “Don’t I?”
HARRY: (exasperated, blushed) “Can’t say I missed this…”
JACK: “Shut your ass.”
HARRY: “Jack!”
LOUIS: (amused) “Doesn’t quite work like that but I like the creativity.” (raises his palm so Jack
can high-five him) “A for effort, ace.”
JACK: (giggling) “A for ass.”
LOUIS: (cringing a bit, looks at Harry) “Fix this?”
HARRY: (shaking his head, under his breath) “Dumbass.” (realizes what he just said) “No—“
JACK: “Dumbass!”
LOUIS: (laughing out loud) “Dumbass.”

Vanquish
Chapter 51: Vanquish
Scene 1
[Parking Lot, Walt Disney World in Florida, 6:12pm, Boo! Boo<3 & Boo-boo]
LOUIS: (hiding behind the car as Harry obliviously walks around it to get in, suddenly jumps out
to scare him) “Where do you think you’re going—!“
HARRY: (flips around in fear, punches him square in the nose) “Motherfu—Louis?“
LOUIS: (hands on his face, in disbelief, loud) “You punched me! In the face! And you swore! But
mostly…” (screaming) “You punched me in the fucking face, you asshole! Why would you do
that?”
HARRY: (shocked, wincing) “I didn’t—know—Shit.” (worried) “Are you okay? Are you—Is that
blood—?“
LOUIS: (touching his nose tentatively, sniffling the blood, cringing) “What do you think—you
punched me, fool!”
HARRY: (comes closer to him, worry on his face) “I’m so sorry. You scared me. I panicked. God,
I’m sorry.” (touches Louis’ hands) “Lemme see…” (Louis shakes his head, Harry softens)
“Darling, let me see. I’m worried about you.”
LOUIS: “I’m worried about people you get in fights with. Do you always have this aim?”
HARRY: “Eh.”
LOUIS: (whiny, mock sobbing) “My face. My beautiful face.” (quoting) “Llama face!”
HARRY: (prying his hands away, amused) “Let me see, drama queen.“
LOUIS: “No, you’ll hurt me!”
HARRY: “I’ll touch it gently.”
LOUIS: (pouting) “No, you won’t.”
HARRY: “Yes, yes, super gently. I need to see. You might have broken something.”
LOUIS: “You mean you might have broken something.”
HARRY: (sheepish) “Something might be broken.”
LOUIS: (sarcastic) “By itself.”
HARRY: “By the unfortunate turn of events.”
LOUIS: “Where you punched me in the face!”

HARRY: “Where that happened. Accidentally. Now let me take a look.”
LOUIS: “Fine but gently.” (removes his hands, Harry cradles his face, makes to touch his nose
with his thumb, before he can make contact) “Ouch! That’s wasn’t gently.”
HARRY: “I haven’t even touched it yet!”
LOUIS: “Oh… Well, it hurts anyway and I hate you.”
HARRY: “Shh… It’s alright.” (softly touching Louis’ nose with his thumb, caressing it) “It
doesn’t look broken. It hurts?”
LOUIS: (whispering since they’re so close) “Yeah.”
HARRY: (frowning) “A lot?” (presses his thumbs a little harder) “Where does it hurt?”
LOUIS: (weak snap, too breathy) “Where you punched me.”
HARRY: (snorts) “I’m sorry.” (leans in, kisses his nose quickly, Louis is wide-eyed, gaping)
“There, it’s better now.”
LOUIS: “Uh…Did you just—did you uh…what did you just do?”
HARRY: (smiling innocently) “I kissed it better. Does it feel better?”
LOUIS: “No.”
HARRY: (moving away, towards the car) “I can drive you to the hospital? We could get it
checked?”
LOUIS: (shaking himself out of the trance) “It’s fine.” (taunting) “Besides, who needs doctors
when you have healing powers, right?” (gets in the passenger seat, grumbling under his breath)
“Punches people then thinks he can kiss it better—little shit that he is—cruel monster baby child
hulk.”
HARRY: (rolling his eyes, gets in as well) “Forgive me for trying to make amends.”
LOUIS: (snappy, buckles himself in) “How about not punching me in the face next time?”
HARRY: (starting the car, sassy right back) “How about not trying to jump me in the middle of
the night?”
LOUIS: “How about remembering that you had forgotten something extremely important?”
HARRY: (confused) “What?”
LOUIS: (explosive) “Me!”
HARRY: “Ah…” (teasing, feigns indifference) “Eh.” (serious) "Wanna clean up? I have wipes in
my bag."
LOUIS: (pulls out his phone) "I think we should take a selfie first. For the record. So I can bring
this up years into the future. With proof."
HARRY: (chuckles) "I'm driving."
LOUIS: "I like that that's your main concern. Not why I would want this picture."
HARRY: "Knowing you, you'll probably tell other people you got in a street fight with some thug
trying to steal your wallet."
LOUIS: (thinks about it, beams) "Hadn't thought of that but good idea, I'll post it on Instagram.
Hashtag hero."
HARRY: (laughs, slows the car down, leans over) "Make it quick."
Scene 2
[Harry’s Range Rover, West Irlo Bronson Memorial Highway, Florida, 6:34pm, Priorities]
LOUIS: (in the car, suddenly) “Wait, wait, stop here!”
HARRY: (driving, concerned) “What, why?”
LOUIS: “I want mozzarella sticks.”
HARRY: “Now?”
LOUIS: “Well, since we’re here…”
HARRY: “You’re bleeding, Louis. You need an ER.”
LOUIS: “I do not need an ER. Don’t flatter yourself. It’s a scratch. What I do need, is mozzarella
sticks. You owe me some actually for almost breaking my face.”
HARRY: “Breaking your face? I thought we weren’t flattering me.”
LOUIS: “Almost, love, almost.”
HARRY: (to himself) “Whatever, wouldn’t have looked any better if I hadn’t.”
LOUIS: (amused) “If you’re gonna throw shade, shady, throw it out in the open.”
HARRY: (unnecessarily loud) “I said, you are ugly. Your face is ugly. Ugly face. Llama face.”
LOUIS: (laughing, wincing in pain) “Ouch. Don’t know what hurts more, my ego being bruised or
the blood I’m swallowing.”
HARRY: (worried again) “Are you sure you’re okay?”
LOUIS: (pouting) “No, not okay.” (baby-like) “Wish I had something to eat to make me feel
better.”
HARRY: (rolls his eyes, turns the car around) “Okay, fine.”
LOUIS: “Like something mozzarella related…”
HARRY: “I already said fine.” (pause, then smirking) “No need to get all cute.”
LOUIS: (mock serious) “Stop having the final word in things. That’s my job.”
HARRY: “Ok.”
LOUIS: “Ok.”
HARRY: (smirking) “Ok.”
LOUIS: “Styles.”
HARRY: “Maybe okay—“
LOUIS: “I’m going to punch you.”
HARRY: “Ok.”
LOUIS: “Stop.”
HARRY: “Ok.”
LOUIS: (sighs) “Fine, have it.”
HARRY: (shit-eating grin on his face) “Ok.”
Scene 3
[Hallway, Harry’s Floor, Walt Disney Hotel, 7:17pm, Race or Racy]
LOUIS: (stopping suddenly) “Wait.”
HARRY: (stops too, turns towards him) “What now?”
LOUIS: “This…I don’t like this.”
HARRY: “The mozzarella sticks? But you ate them three at a time--I thought you were gonna
choke.”
LOUIS: (gives him a look, shakes his head) “I don’t like that I’m automatically walking towards
your room like this is something we do.”
HARRY: (blurting) “This is something we do. Was. Before we--”
LOUIS: “Not helping.”
HARRY: “Sorry. I just don’t understand.”
LOUIS: “I don’t like us to be this…” (motions with his hands, Harry looks lost) “Attached.”
(Harry’s face falls) “I mean, I like to spend time with you. I just don’t want us to do everything
together all the time.”
HARRY: (gulping) “I’m bad at that.”
LOUIS: “At what?”

HARRY: (pouting, wringing his shirt) “Not doing everything together. I just…when I like
someone…I like to spend time with them…a lot…because it’s better than being alone, right?”
(Louis softens) “So I might overdo it…a bit.”
LOUIS: “No, it’s not that. It’s more like…” (struggling) “If we spend so much time together then
when we don’t, I get sad and you get sad. We both have a tendency to become very involved so
maybe we should keep a little distance this time around.”
HARRY: (nods though he still seems lost, fakes it) “Yeah, you’re right. We should both um, like
do our own thing.”
LOUIS: “Sometimes.”
HARRY: “Yes, sometimes we hang out and sometimes we do our own thing.”
LOUIS: (nodding) “Yeah, like that. I like that.” (wary) “We hung out yesterday so…”
HARRY: “Should probably do our own thing today.”
LOUIS: “Probably, yes.”
HARRY: “Did you have anything to do?”
LOUIS: “I was gonna do some reading…” (awkward) “Did you have anything to do?”
HARRY: “Nap probably, still tired from yesterday—you could…” (blushes) "Never mind."
LOUIS: “I could…?”
HARRY: “Read at mine.” (uncomfortable, blushing) “If you want. I’d be napping so…”
LOUIS: (opens his mouth, lingers, closes it, sighs) “Look, Harry—“
HARRY: (scared, immediately) “Too much? Sorry. I told you I’m bad at it. You suggest
something and I'll follow your lead." (Louis is hesitant) "Okay, how about...? Let’s say bye now
and see each other tomorrow.”
LOUIS: (winces) “Right…” (both don’t move) “This is awkward.”
HARRY: (laughs nervously) “Yeah…”
LOUIS: “I guess what I want to say is, I will be spending a lot of time with you now that we’re
friends again—anything I can manage really—but if I don’t some day, I don’t want that to mean
anything more than we’re doing our own thing for a bit.”
HARRY: (brightening up) “I get that. It’s like we’re good friends—“
LOUIS: (grumpily) “Was gonna say best but…”
HARRY: “Best friends! We’re best friends but if we start dating someone and then don’t find that
much time for each other, we’ll still be best friends.”
LOUIS: (suspicious) “Why would you pick that specific example?”

HARRY: (shrugs) “That’s what happened with Zayn. He has to spend time with Perrie but he still
loves me and hangs out with me.”
LOUIS: (frowns) “That’s weird…” (Harry cocks his head sideways, confused) “I was thinking
more like if we need a day off or if we’re having a bad day and want to be alone, we can still be
friends the next day. Sometimes I get pissed at other people and I don’t wanna go off on you so I’ll
avoid you for a bit but that doesn’t mean anything. I just want that to be clear from the start. No
more misunderstandings.”
HARRY: “Oh. Well, that too.”
LOUIS: (still troubled) “Are you planning on dating anyone?”
HARRY: (shakes his head) “Not now. I have to find someone first. But in the future…”
LOUIS: (relieved) “Then we have all the time in the world.”
HARRY: “What’s that supposed to mean?”
LOUIS: (smiling, teasing him) “Means you’re a runt. Race you to your door?” (starts running
already)
HARRY: “Hey!” (chases after him) “You’re supposed to give me fair warning.”
LOUIS: (still running, looking back, grinning) “Then I wouldn’t win.”
HARRY: “You probably would. You play soccer.”
LOUIS: “You played football.”
HARRY: “How do you know that?”
LOUIS: “I know all.” (collapses against Harry’s door, heaves, waits for Harry to catch up) “You
still have any of those jerseys?”
HARRY: (out of breath too, opening the door) “Yeah, why?”
LOUIS: (glee) “I’m swiping one next time we’re out in the village.”
HARRY: (snorts) “So all the ladies think you played in college?”
LOUIS: (raises one eyebrow) “Is that what you used them for?”
HARRY: (dropping off his jacket) “You don’t wanna know what I used them for.”
LOUIS: “Works on men too then?”
HARRY: (pulling his shirt over his head, talking) “Worked on my ex.” (drops the shirt in the
laundry basket, pulls out a new t-shirt) “Wouldn’t know about others—“ (flustered, blurting) “I
didn’t cheat or anything.”
LOUIS: (knowing) “So you did cheat.”
HARRY: “I said—“
LOUIS: “The way you said it. It’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it.”
HARRY: (opens his mouth, stutters) “I didn’t make it a habit—It was just once—“
LOUIS: “Harry.” (Harry stops talking, embarrassed) “It’s okay. You don’t have to talk about it.”
HARRY: (ashamed) “Okay.” (awkward pause)
LOUIS: (reluctantly) “I’ve done it too…in the past. So if you ever need to vent, don’t be scared. I
don’t judge principles when I don’t know the story.”
HARRY: (sad) “There weren’t many principles involved in the first place…”
LOUIS: (changing the topic) “The real question was, did Ed like your jerseys?”
HARRY: (cheeky) “He liked knowing what they meant.”
LOUIS: (caught up) “What’s that?”
HARRY: (throws him a smirk) “That I’m fit enough not to get winded while riding him.” (Louis’
jaw drops, flushed red, Harry laughs) “Too crude?” (Louis nods, mock shudders, Harry smiles
bigger) “Sorry?”
LOUIS: “I asked for it.” (Harry chuckles) “Still, you could have spared me the visuals.”
HARRY: (biting his lip) “Could give you the demo.”
LOUIS: (immediately) “No!” (palms his face to hide how red he is) “That will never be
necessary…” (walks away towards the room) “Never.” (slumps on the bed, stomach first,
afterthought) “You know…”
HARRY: (new t-shirt on) “Know what?”
LOUIS: “Deep down, you’re a filthy, little shit. Like filthy, filthy. Like cheap porno filthy.”
HARRY: (thinks about it then shrugs) “At least, I clean up well.” (jumps on the bed beside him,
laying on his back) “I keep my porno filthy hidden away in a little box.”
LOUIS: (on his elbows on the bed, looks at Harry who’s beaming adorably at him, shakes his
head) “What else is in the box?”
HARRY: “Scary stuff.”
LOUIS: “Like Halloween decorations?”
HARRY: (genuinely giggles, Louis smiles fondly at the reaction) “Even scarier.”
LOUIS: (taunting) “That so? Like dildos?”
HARRY: (flushed but more from arousal than embarrassment, bites his lip, whispered) “Nothing
wrong with needing a little help getting there…”
LOUIS: (breathless, mesmerized) “Might be nothing wrong with that but there’s so many things
wrong with you.”
HARRY: (sucking on his bottom lip) “Already admitted to that.”
LOUIS: (lays his chin on his arms, mumbled, resigned) “Ugh. I can already see myself getting too
attached to you in the future.”
HARRY: “Nothing wrong with that either, I’d think.”
LOUIS: (smiles lazily) “We’ll see.”

Vixen
Chapter 52: Vixen
Scene 1
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 1:07am, King’s Word]
HARRY: (in bed, lights off) “Why are we best friends?”
LOUIS: (beside him, facing each other) “What do you mean?”
HARRY: “Like isn’t that a big deal? How did we become best friends?”
LOUIS: “Well, I said so and so it was.” (Harry snorts) “That’s how lots of things happen around
here. Why are you asking?”
HARRY: (frowns in thought) “Because I’m usually very bad with friends and now…” (looks up,
grins) “Now I have a best friend. I don’t know how I did it.”
LOUIS: (amused) “Me neither to tell you the truth. You are very unlikable.”
HARRY: (pouting) “Really?”
LOUIS: (teasing) “Yup. What is there to like in a kind, sweet, generous puppy that is too scared to
talk so he lets you ramble about yourself for hours and smiles at all the right times?”
HARRY: (awed) “That’s me? You think I’m like that?”
LOUIS: (fake whisper) “Now is the time to smile.”
HARRY: (smiles big) “I’m always smiling when I’m with you.”
LOUIS: (exaggerating) “Aw. So cute.” (pinches his cheek) “Cute Harry.”
HARRY: (smacks his hand away, frowning) “Don’t do that.”
LOUIS: “Huh?”
HARRY: “Don’t talk down to me like that. It hurts me. I know I miss some comments because—“
LOUIS: “I was joking!”
HARRY: (frustrated) “Wait, I wasn’t finished…”
LOUIS: (stops, clear he wants to laugh it off but notices Harry’s face) “Ok, I’m sorry.”
HARRY: “I was going to say that I know I’m oblivious and sometimes I’m daydreaming and I
don’t catch a lot of the things others say, especially you since you’re very smart with words and in
general but I’m trying really hard to…” (struggles, gulps) “Keep up and stuff.” (obvious he’s
insecure) “I feel bad when people make me feel stupid.”
LOUIS: “I think everyone would feel bad in that situation.”
HARRY: “No, but it’s worse because…um…”
LOUIS: “Don’t say never mind.”
HARRY: “It’s a long story.”
LOUIS: “The night is long too.”
HARRY: “You kinda know it.”
LOUIS: “What?”
HARRY: “I just…That whole dropping out thing. I’m not that smart.” (smiles sadly) “I don’t get
stuff that fast.”
LOUIS: “There are different types of smart. Even if you’re not school smart that does not mean
you’re not smart in general. Definitely doesn’t mean you’re not talented and intelligent like the rest
of us, you hear me?”
HARRY: (smiles) “You’re nice to me now.”
LOUIS: (snorts) “Don’t get used to it.”
HARRY: (cuddling further in his blanket, all cute) “I am used to it. Nice Louis makes me happy.”
LOUIS: (fond) “Nice Louis only comes out with you and needs to be kept a secret so others still
fear me.”
HARRY: (nods adorably, confesses, small) “I like that I can be different with you.”
LOUIS: “What do you mean?”
HARRY: “Like…weird. I’m weird. I do weird stuff. But you don’t get weirded out. You’re weird
too. I like that.”
LOUIS: “You are weird—You’re my weird kitty.”
HARRY: “Please don’t pet me again. It was very painful.”
LOUIS: (laughing) “You sure it didn’t feel painful only because you were coming down.”
HARRY: “Yes, I’m sure. It was painful because you pulled my hair.”
LOUIS: (teasing him, exaggerating) “No! I love your hair. I’d never pull it.”
HARRY: (frowns, pouting) “Yes, you would. You did.”
LOUIS: (sighing) “You asked why we’re best friends, right?” (Harry nods) “This is why. It’s
easy. We make it easy for each other. I’m myself around you—well, the nice self—the one that’s
hidden deep inside.”
HARRY: (whispered, eyes bright) “Must never be shown.”

LOUIS: (whispering too) “Exactly. It’s out little secret.”
HARRY: “I like secrets.”
LOUIS: “Yeah? You wanna hear one?”
HARRY: (giddy) “Yeah.”
LOUIS: (softly) “Come here.”
HARRY: “Where? There?”
LOUIS: “Yes, come closer. I’m gonna tell you the best secret.”
HARRY: (excited, shuffling closer) “Yeah?”
LOUIS: (amused, smiling) “The best one.”
HARRY: (close to him) “Tell me.”
LOUIS: (whispering) “A little closer.”
HARRY: (leaning over, holding his breath) “What is it?”
LOUIS: (smirking, screaming in his ear) “I don’t make deals with peasants!”
HARRY: (smacks him, annoyed) “Ugh! I knew you were gonna do that!” (pushes him, grit teeth)
“You’re so annoying.” (smiling despite trying to look mad) “I thought it was real—I got excited—
Ugh.”
LOUIS: (cracking up) “I’m sorry…” (more laughing) “I just saw the opportunity—Had to take it.”
HARRY: (slumps back in his pillow) “I’m mad at you now.”
LOUIS: “Don’t be. Oh, come on.” (Harry has his face in the pillow) “Fine, I’ll tell you a real
secret.” (crawls closer so he can lean over, mouth next to Harry’s ear) “I like your naughty side.
Don’t show it to anyone else. I want it to be mine.”
HARRY: (flushed, making a screechy sound) “Louis!”
LOUIS: (moves away, amused) “What? Still mad at me?”
HARRY: (mumbled) “No, but now I’m blushing too hard to show you my face.”
LOUIS: (laughing) “I get you all hot, huh?”
HARRY: (squealing) “Louis!”
LOUIS: (laying back on his side, sighing) “You’re adorable. That’s a problem. A big problem.”
Scene 2
[Harry - Zayn Texting Thread]

03/17/14 13:27pm
[ZAYN] Wanna come over tonight?
[HARRY] I’m with Lou. Wanna stay with him… :(
[ZAYN] Are you smiling?
[HARRY] Yes. :)
[HARRY] Are you mad?
[ZAYN] I’m never mad if you’re smiling.
[ZAYN] We’ll get lunch tomorrow?
[HARRY] Yes! I could sleep over?
[ZAYN] Okie.
[HARRY] :)
Scene 3
[Main Street USA, Walt Disney World in Florida, 3:12pm, You Did Shit; I Did Good]
LOUIS: “Okay, go for it.”
HARRY: “Now?”
LOUIS: “Yes, before we grow old and don’t have working livers.”
HARRY: “…Ah because we’re drinking—Okay, yes.”
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes) “Yes, now do it.”
HARRY: “He looks busy. I could interrupt, I wouldn’t want to—”
LOUIS: “Harry.”
HARRY: (makes an uncomfortable noise) “Are you gonna be there? Like come with. Provide
silent support?”
LOUIS: “Go…” (quieter, touching his arm momentarily) “I’m here.”
HARRY: (grips on his sleeve) “Can’t you do it?”
LOUIS: “No, you’re doing it because you can.” (drags him forward) “Come.”
HARRY: (walks up to Sandy, awkward, squeaky) “Hi. Sandy. That’s you, um, I was wondering—
I’m Harry, by the way—Louis’ friend, Harry—which you might know of since you’re friends with
Louis, I was just wondering if you, if you—“
LOUIS: “On with it.”

HARRY: (gulps, blushes) “If you…wanted to—to—“
SANDY: “Is this kid asking me out?”
HARRY: (panicked) “No! God no! No, I mean you’re very attractive…man, a very attractive man,
not that way, like not in a gay way, just in a normal way…but I was not—not at all.” (mortified) “I
was just—I’m sorry!”
LOUIS: (under his breath) “Oh for god’s sake.” (to Sandy) “He’s trying something. Hear him
out.”
SANDY: (confused) “O-kay.”
LOUIS: (touching Harry’s back softly) “Go ahead. Finish the sentence.”
HARRY: (red, embarrassed, uncomfortable) “I’m not good at this.”
LOUIS: “I know, but you’re getting there. That wasn’t so bad.”
SANDY: “That was pretty horrible.”
LOUIS: (glares at Sandy, looks back at Harry, encouraging) “Just do it, okay? For me.”
HARRY: (shaking with nerves, looking down) “I was wondering if you uh…If you weren’t too
busy…”
LOUIS: (soft) “Go on. Come on, you’re almost there. Just get it out.”
HARRY: (nods) “If you…wanted to—to hang out with me and Louis…tonight? Maybe. We’re
grabbing a drink and I was—You could come…So we could be friends, maybe, if you wanted
more friends—I’d like for us to be friends…if you want.” (to Louis, desperate, whispering) “Did I
do good? Was that good?”
LOUIS: (nodding, amused) “You did well. Didn’t he do well, Sandy?”
SANDY: “Uh…” (Louis gives him a look) “Yes! Perfect. Super well.”
HARRY: (smiling, looking up) “Will you come?”
SANDY: “Yeah sure, man. What time?”
HARRY: (looks at Louis, who nods at him) “Uh, yes, like after work, like seven?”
SANDY: “Sure. Are you driving?”
HARRY: “Louis is. I need to uh…” (looks from Sandy to Louis, awkward)
LOUIS: (teasing him) “Well, go ahead then. Shoo. You did your job. I don’t need you anymore.”
HARRY: (pushes him, grins) “Don’t be mean.”
LOUIS: (pushes back, chuckling) “Run, I said!” (can’t keep a serious face) “Why am I still seeing
your ugly face?”
HARRY: (throws him the middle finger while walking away) “Be a little original. I said that first.”
LOUIS: (points his tongue out) “Tell Simon I bought you flowers.”
HARRY: (confused) “What?”
LOUIS: “Just tell him.” (Harry shakes his head, walking away, Louis turns towards Sandy) “Isn’t
he something?”
SANDY: (amused) “He is. Why’d you put him through that? Couldn’t you have just texted me?”
LOUIS: “I wanted him to get some practice. He’s terrified of talking to strangers.”
SANDY: “You mean, he’s always that bad?”
LOUIS: (defensive) “He’s not bad. He just…tries too hard because he really wants it. It’s cute.
He’ll grow on you.”
SANDY: (stunned) “He’s grown on you.”
LOUIS: (snorts) “Yeah. He has. Bad. It’s horrible. I can’t even shit without thinking about him.
I’m possessed by his dumb face. I need saving.”
SANDY: (chuckles) “Oh, come on. This is good for you. People skills.”
LOUIS: “I have people skills.”
SANDY: “Gentle, people skills. Nice, people skills.”
LOUIS: “I’m going to gently kick your balls out of your throat if you don’t agree that I need
saving.”
SANDY: “You need saving. He’s to blame. He’s ruining you with his adorable dimples.”
LOUIS: (grinning) “Thank you. Now try to convince me to stay away. You have until tonight. If I
go to his afterwards, you’ve failed me.”
SANDY: “I might need more than that for this challenge.”
Scene 4
[Simon’s Office, Walt Disney World in Florida, 3:45pm, I Miss Me Some Frat Boys]
HARRY: (sitting down) “Louis told me to tell you he bought me flowers.”
SIMON: (eyebrows up) “He did now?”
HARRY: “Well, no. He didn’t really buy me flowers but he did tell me to tell you.”
SIMON: (laughing) “What’s the use in that?”
HARRY: “I don’t know.” (suddenly) “Wait, I think I was supposed to say he did buy me
flowers…but he didn’t really. That would be a lie. I don’t lie because I’m a good employee, very
dependable. I don’t lie.”
SIMON: (shaking his head, smiling) “You’re friends again?”
HARRY: (giddy) “Yes. I have now two friends. And Eleanor. Three friends.”
SIMON: (genuine) “That’s good. You wanted more friends last time.”
HARRY: “Yeah…” (thoughtful) “Yeah…But now I have some, I think. I’m really being accepted
into this group.”
SIMON: “What group?”
HARRY: “Louis’ group.”
SIMON: “Isn’t he your friend? Can’t he just make you part of the group?”
HARRY: “No, that’s not how groups work. They have to like me, his group. But Louis likes me…
I think. And he’s teaching me how to say stuff to other people. I’m practicing.”
SIMON: “Are you happy?”
HARRY: “Yes! I’m very happy.”
SIMON: “You seem happy. You’re not hanging around after work as much as before. You’ve
found something to do?”
HARRY: “Yeah, I spend time with Louis.”
SIMON: “What else?”
HARRY: “Uh…”
SIMON: (sympathetic) “That’s great that you and him are getting along, Harry, but you need to do
other stuff too. Hobbies, remember? We talked about this. You told me you were going to find
some hobbies.”
HARRY: (nodding) “When I get more friends then I’ll spend time with them.”
SIMON: “And hobbies, what about hobbies? Like cooking classes or art classes or—“
HARRY: “Stuff that I do alone, you mean?”
SIMON: “Yes, that kind of stuff. Stuff you do for yourself.”
HARRY: “Ah…I don’t have much of that stuff now… But I will find some. It’s just, I like life like
this. I work, I spend time with kids and then I spend time with Louis and Zayn. Can’t that be a
hobby?”
SIMON: “Why don’t you try swimming? You told me you always wanted to try for the team in
college. There’s classes. The hotel has a pool?”
HARRY: (quiet) “I was thinking…”
SIMON: “Yes?”
HARRY: (embarrassed) “Uh, I was just…Maybe I could take online classes?”
SIMON: “Oh. That’s good too.”
HARRY: (scrunching his pants) “Everyone here seems to have some really fancy degree and I
dropped out so I was thinking maybe I can do some of that…” (biting his lip) “Don’t you think?”
SIMON: “I think you need to do whatever makes you happy, Harry, and decide what that is by
yourself, for yourself.”
Scene 5
[Outside Simon’s Office, Walt Disney World in Florida, 4:30pm, Wifey, Throw Me Your
Bouquet]
LOUIS: (jumping out of the corner, holding a bouquet of flowers) “Boo—don’t punch me in the
face, please!”
HARRY: (startles slightly but laughs it off) “You were smart to keep your distance.”
LOUIS: (holds the flowers towards Harry) “I got you these.”
HARRY: (makes a face) “Why?”
LOUIS: “Thought you’d rat me out to Simon so might as well get it done.”
HARRY: (chuckles, takes them from him) “I did. You thought right.”
LOUIS: (roles his eyes) “Course you did. It’s you. I didn’t expect anything else.”
HARRY: (sniffs the bouquet) “Did you pay for these…?”
LOUIS: (scoffs) “Oh! I court you with roses and you wanna be an ass.”
HARRY: (smiling) “I’m impressed either way.”
LOUIS: “You’ve probably had bigger.”
HARRY: (grinning) “I have.” (afterthought) “Also, that’s what he said.” (grin widens) “And I’ve
had bigger in that sense too.”
LOUIS: (shakes his head, not even shocked) “You don’t know what I’m working with yet. Don’t
get cocky—Pun intended, yes, since you love that dumb type of humor. Cock-y. Cocky, like cock
but not. Cocky, get it? It’s funny.”
HARRY: (laughs) “It’s not anymore.” (bites his lip, flirty) “I’m always free after work for, you
know, whatever reason… Cock-parisons.”
LOUIS: “Did you just say—“ (snorts, in disbelief) “Cock-parisons?”
HARRY: “Like comparisons—“
LOUIS: (interjecting, amused) “I get it! I get it. Just…goddammit, I wish I didn’t.”
HARRY: (mock serious) “I’m very professional with it.”
LOUIS: “Ha!” (shoves him, grabs the flowers from his hands) “You don’t deserve these because
you’re a shit-head and you’ll stink ‘em up by shoving your face in them.”
HARRY: (mumbled) “I’ll shove my face in your ass.”
LOUIS: (laughs out loud) “Go ahead. But I’ll warn you, I’ve had nineteen dollars worth of tacos
today.” (winks at him) “Might not be your best bet, if you catch my drift.”
HARRY: (grossed out visibly) “Ugh! Fucken disgusting.” (shakes his head, cringes) “Ugh.”
LOUIS: (laughs, as they walk towards the car) “Who wins? Who wins? I win. Always. You hear?
Always.”
HARRY: (slowly smirking) “Ok.”
LOUIS: “Oh, don’t start.” (Harry blinks innocently) “Don’t start. You can’t win by always
annoying me to accept defeat. That’s unfair.”
HARRY: (slowly, stretching the word) “…Okay?”
LOUIS: (shaking his head, stomping ahead) “So unfair.”

Vantage
Chapter 53: Vantage
Scene 1
[Louis - Sandy Texting Thread]
03/18/14 21:12pm
[SANDY] Hey fucker I thought we were hanging out tonight…
[LOUIS] SHIT! That was tonight. Shit! I’m sorry I forgot!
[SANDY] You forgot?!?!?!?!?!?!
[SANDY] How could you forget after that formal invitation?
[LOUIS] It’s my bad. We saw Despicable Me 2 was out and just went for it. Sorry, man.
[LOUIS] Don’t be mad at Harry.
[SANDY] I don’t know what you owe me but you owe me shit.
[LOUIS] Two beers next time.
[LOUIS] And I’ll wingman for you.
[SANDY] Deal.
Scene 2
[Harry - Zayn Texting Thread]
03/18/14 22:21pm
[ZAYN] I thought we were hanging out tonight…?
[HARRY] OHNO!
[HARRY] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
[ZAYN] ???
[HARRY] I forgot! It slipped my mind. I did something else and I forgot and ugh!
[HARRY] I feel horrible!
[HARRY] I’m sorry.
[HARRY] I feel awful.
[ZAYN] It’s okay. Was just worried. You didn’t show up. Wanted to make sure you were okay.
[HARRY] I ended up taking Louis to the movies.
[HARRY] Don’t be mad at Louis. My fault.
[HARRY] Tomorrow?
[ZAYN] With Perrie tomorrow.
[ZAYN] Weekend?
[HARRY] For sure. I’m sorry. :(
[ZAYN] It’s cool.
[HARRY] No, it’s not cool.
[ZAYN] H, it’s okay. It happens. First one you’ve missed in six years. It’s allowed, I think.
[HARRY] This weekend I’ll make it up to you.
[ZAYN] Bring beer and you’re forgiven.
[HARRY] Can I bring Lou?
[ZAYN] Ehhhhhhh.
[HARRY] Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease, Zay, please?
[HARRY] *insert puppy face here*
[HARRY] I will love you so much forever and ever.
[ZAYN] Sure. Why not?
[HARRY] THANK YOU I LOVE YOU
[ZAYN] &IU.
Scene 3
[Changing Rooms, Walt Disney World in Florida, 7:18am, Morning Dress-Up]
LOUIS: (already changing, sees Zayn walk in, quiet) “Hey.”
ZAYN: “Good morning.”
LOUIS: “Thanks for letting me steal Harry yesterday.”
ZAYN: “Thanks for not shattering Harry’s hopes today.”
LOUIS: “I was going to thank you for not being an ass about it too but…”
ZAYN: “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. One thank you at a time. My heart is not used to
your gratitude. Lemme build tolerance first.”
LOUIS: (slams the locker shut, desperate) “Do you still think I’m the bad guy, Zayn?”
ZAYN: “Forgive me for not jumping in your arms after you apologized a month later. I could do it
now. You ready to catch me?”
LOUIS: “Why do you have to hold a grudge when he’s over it?”
ZAYN: “Let’s just say I’m less trusting than Harry, a bit more guarded.”
LOUIS: “It’s dumb to keep talking about this. I fucked up. I get it. I’m sorry. I know he comes to
you when he’s hurt so I’m sorry for putting you through that. Is that what you wanna hear?”
ZAYN: “You don’t have to apologize to me for that. I don’t mind being there for him. You don’t
have to apologize for anything. You just have to prove to me that it’ll get better from here.”
LOUIS: “It will. I promise.”
ZAYN: "Prove, not promise."
LOUIS: "Okay. I will."
ZAYN: “Good then.”
LOUIS: “Can we get better from here? If I’m not supposed to apologize then what am I supposed
to do? Pretend it’s not awkward that we can’t hang out together when we share a best friend?”
ZAYN: (sarcastic) “Yeah, you’re right. My bad.” (Louis is stunned) “Do you, Louis Tomlinson,
want to marry me—“
LOUIS: “Oh, fuck you.”
ZAYN: “What, we share a best friend, I mean we practically have to share a life together too,
right?”
LOUIS: (walking out) “Go to hell.”
ZAYN: (calling after him) “I’ll knock when I’m there so you can let me in.”
LOUIS: (turns around) “Ugh! I’m just trying to like you—like me back!”
ZAYN: (rolls his eyes) “You’re trying too hard.”
LOUIS: “I thought you liked that in people.”
ZAYN: “Apparently not.”
LOUIS: “Are you ever going to like me?”
ZAYN: (shrugs, half-grin) “Probably.”
LOUIS: (wants to seem mad but is relieved) “Good. How soon, can I have a time estimate?”
ZAYN: “How’s three years?”

LOUIS: “That’s not gonna work for me. How about three days?”
ZAYN: “Now I’m having cold feet.”
LOUIS: “Let’s chill, me and you.”
ZAYN: “Look, when I talked about the marrying part…I was joking. You know that, right?”
LOUIS: “Come on, douche, be serious.”
ZAYN: “The medicine tastes bitter? But Louis, it’s a taste of yours.”
LOUIS: (whining like a child, throws his water bottle at Zayn who avoids it) “Let’s get high
together.”
ZAYN: (thinks for a second) “That…I might have to accept out of respect for the weed gods."
(hands him the water bottle) "Why do you care so much?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “Because I care about him…and you. Go ahead make marriage jokes--I'm over
it. At least you cook so whatever, let's get married. I don't eat fish but we can work around that.”
ZAYN: (impressed, amused) "Come over Saturday." (smirking) "I'll refrain from cooking fish."
LOUIS: (grinning) "I'll bring the good stuff."
Scene 4
LOUIS: “When did Harry tell you he was gay?”
LIAM: “I don’t think he did. Zayn mentioned it and then with Ed popping up, I put two and two
together—Man, you really doubt my IQ that much?”
LOUIS: “I was just wondering. I think about it at times.”
LIAM: “Why?”
LOUIS: “Because I’m fairly close to him, I’d like to think, or want to be. And I’m close to Luke,
who’s gay as well, but it’s different somehow. I get different vibes, feel differently.”
LIAM: “Wow, it’s almost like gay people came with different personalities and attitudes.”
LOUIS: (rolling his eyes) “I get that. Man, everyone's so sassy today, what gives?"
LIAM: "You bring out the best in people."
LOUIS: "Right. I'm sure. I’m just talking about the gay part here. I deal with their gay a different
way.”
LIAM: “Half the time, I can’t tell if you’re adorably ignorant to this subject or secretly
homophobic.”
LOUIS: “Neither. I’m not homophobic and I’m not ignorant. I’m confused. I’m confused because
I’ve never noticed Luke check me out though he says he does but with Harry, I always catch him.”
LIAM: “That’s because he’s awkward and bad at it.” (seeing Louis frowns) “Don’t get me wrong,
it makes it ten times more endearing.”
LOUIS: “He checks you out too?”
LIAM: “He checks all boys out the same way you check all girls out.”
LOUIS: “Does it bother you when he does it?”
LIAM: “No. It’s flattering. He thinks I’m attractive. If he’s looking, if I catch his sight, it means
I’ve done something right that day. I almost get insulted if he doesn’t look at me.” (snorts) “And
he’s model-quality so it feels even better to get his attention.” (serious) “I don’t see why men get
so worked over this. If you check out a lesbian, you don’t apologize about it because you tell
yourself if she doesn’t want me, whatever. He’s the same way. He knows I’m straight but he thinks
I have nice abs. I don’t think him looking necessarily means he’ll jump me in an alley.”
LOUIS: (nods, awed then ashamed, confessing) “I didn’t grow up in a neighborhood where people
were like that…Like at all. It was the opposite. I wasn’t taught any of this.” (under his breath) “It
would have been much easier otherwise.”
LIAM: “None of us blame you for anything. It’s obvious you’re willing to learn. I’m almost
impressed at how concerned you are with understanding. I’m sure Harry is too. You should ask
him.”
LOUIS: “I’m not a stranger to being checked out. It isn’t about that. It’s about the fact that I’m
hypersensitive about it—I obsess over looking at him doing it, almost as much as he looks.”
LIAM: (chuckles) “I don’t get why you get so detail-oriented with this stuff. Does it really
interfere with your life if he looks at you?”
LOUIS: “It doesn’t. I sorta…” (reluctantly) “Get a thrill out of it.”
LIAM: “Ha! See, you see my point. It’s flattering. I almost feel like the hottest cheerleader in
school, walking past the jocks.”
LOUIS: (blinks at him) “Is that a fantasy of yours?”
LIAM: “Totally. If I wasn’t a hot boy, I’d be a hot girl with pigtails and a football player
boyfriend.”
LOUIS: (rolling his eyes) “He has a crush on me.”
LIAM: “Harry? Yeah, he does, but we all do, really. You’re my man-crush and Niall’s and
Sandy’s, definitely Ashton’s who worships you. Luke’s turned off since you turned mainstream.”
LOUIS: (eyebrows up) “Flattered. It seems like I’m the hot cheerleader at school.” (shrugs,
smirks) “Anyway, I was just making sure you knew I ranked higher than you in his mind.”
Scene 5
[Changing Rooms, Walt Disney World in Florida, 8:18am, Morning Dress-Up]

HARRY: “I wanna get a beer today. Read: I wanna get smashed.”
LOUIS: “My, my. Having a shit day then? It’s only 8am.”
HARRY: “Only slightly. A kid puked on me at breakfast and I think my sister’s getting married.”
LOUIS: “Isn’t that a good thing?”
HARRY: (quickly) “No, it’s perfect.”
LOUIS: “Then why do you look like that?”
LOUIS: “Like you’re about to gouge your eyes out Oedipus-style.”
HARRY: “Who is Oedipus?”
LOUIS: (makes a face, opens his mouth, Harry flushes in shame, Louis changes his answer last
second) “We should read it tonight, together.” (smiles) “We could act it out.”
HARRY: “Really?”
LOUIS: “It’s not one of my favorites but it’s cool. What do you say?” (Harry nods eagerly)
“What’s up with the sister?”
HARRY: (shrugs) “I’m happy for her.”
LOUIS: “Is this the rehearsed speech you have planned for her wedding night? Because it sounds
just as plastic and fake.”
HARRY: “I am!” (sighs) “I am. I hope she’s happy. She will be. They’re happy together. I’m
happy she’s happy.”
LOUIS: “What is happy again? You repeated it so many times now it lost its meaning.”
HARRY: “I’m just…” (shaking his head) “Marriages get me stressed.”
LOUIS: “Commitment issues?”
HARRY: “More like commitment fetish.” (chuckles, under his breath) “I wish I was her.”
LOUIS: (stunned) “You’re twenty-two. Most people your age flee at the mention of the word. Flee
far.”
HARRY: “Most people my age are happily exploring the world.”
LOUIS: “You should do that too.”
HARRY: (blushed) “We’ve both seen what me exploring looks like.”
LOUIS: “Glitter-fairy.”
HARRY: (snorts) “Precisely... So I’d rather be a married housewife with nine cats.”
LOUIS: “You’ll get married. You can start on that cats thing early. Why wait?”
HARRY: “I should have been married. I was engaged.”
LOUIS: (frozen) “You were engaged? He proposed to you?”
HARRY: (sad smile) “He did. In a concert. With flowers!" (giddy) "And I said yes. It was a happy
yes too—there was no doubt in my mind then.” (smile drops) “And now here I am in a locker
room…” (throwing his clothes in the locker roughly) “Not married.” (shutting the locker
forcefully) “Attending my sister’s wedding.” (louder) “My sister who met her fiancee two years
after I met mine—the guy supposed to be my fiancee...” (huffing in frustration, hand in his hair)
“That should have been my wedding. I deserved that wedding!”
LOUIS: (looking down) “Maybe it’s better that it wasn’t. Imagine having to divorce. Clearly you
had a reason to break up.”
HARRY: “Stupid, stupid reason.”
LOUIS: (curious) “What was it?”
HARRY: “I wasn’t ready.”
LOUIS: (confused) “I thought he dumped you?”
HARRY: “He did because I wasn’t ready to be a good boyfriend.”
LOUIS: “That…I can relate to. What is a boyfriend?”
HARRY: (chuckles) “I’d show you but…” (shrugs)
LOUIS: (smirks) “I thought you weren’t ready…”
HARRY: (sighs, genuine) “I feel ready now…but of course, when you want a relationship, there’s
none around. That’s how life works.”
LOUIS: “If this is going to be you drunk, I’d rather not attend this pity party.”
HARRY: “You’re right. I’m just being overdramatic. I’m happy for her. I’m happy to be there for
her. And believe it or not, I’m happy without him. Kinda. I'm okay.” (smiles sadly at him, ready to
leave) “I’ll see you around?”
LOUIS: (leaning down to put his socks on, purposely stretching his butt towards Harry) “Where
are we going to go tonight?”
HARRY: “Hmm…” (too busy eyeing his behind, completely mesmerized)
LOUIS: (smirking) “Tonight. Are we drinking or what?” (stands straight again, stretches) “I’ll
drive if you get wasted.”
HARRY: (still staring at him, eyes running up Louis’ body, lingering on Louis’ collarbone, the
stretch of skin revealed by his rising shirt, and finally his groin) “Sure. Let’s do something simple.
Like the village. I plan on getting drunk.”
LOUIS: “Are you checking me out?”

HARRY: (eyes snap back to Louis’ satisfied ones) “Maybe?” (turns around) “Sorry. It’s
instinctive. I can’t help it sometimes. It’ll die down once I get close to you. I’ll get that brotherly
feeling then it’ll be too weird.” (chuckles) “Took about a month with Zayn.”
LOUIS: (stunned, almost insulted) “Oh…”
HARRY: “I really am sorry. I don’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. Trust me, I know my
boundaries very well.”
LOUIS: (grumpy, pursuing his lips) “Right.” (crossing his arms) “I don’t care.”
HARRY: “Good.” (smiles a last time) “I’ll see you tonight.” (leaves)
Virgin
Chapter 54: Virgin
[Parking Lot, Walt Disney World in Florida, 6:29pm, Ed, Ed & Teddy]
ZAYN: (text message) “Call Ed. He’s not doing well. Cheer him up. Don’t fight.”
HARRY: (text message) “Wait, really??”
ZAYN: (text message) “Really. He needs you and it’ll do you good. Don’t pick a fight.”
HARRY: (reads the message pacing around, sighs heavily, does as told, dials, nervous) “Hey.”
ED: (audible affection) “Harry…hi.”
HARRY: “Uh, is this a good time?”
ED: “Depends. How heavy is the call going to be? Do you have bad news? Who died?”
HARRY: “No one. What?”
ED: “Well someone has to have died for you to call me.” (snorts) “Did Zayn die?”
HARRY: “That’s not funny.”
ED: “No, I suppose it isn’t…”
HARRY: (awkward pause) “I was just…” (looking into the distance, recovering) “Just calling to
say hi. I should call back then?”
ED: “No, if it’s a happy call, I’ll take it. I just can’t handle heavy right now.”
HARRY: “You’ve smoked up?”
ED: (chuckling) “Yeah. I’m high out of my mind. In LA, trying to get this record deal to go
through and it’s not working…” (mild exasperation leaking in his voice) “Like at all… They don’t
like me so…” (pause where he inhales) “So I’ll just smoke weed and drink beer until I forget they
even exist and I exist and the world exists.”
HARRY: “And me?”
ED: “Not you. You’ll exist. The world will just be you for a bit.”
HARRY: (snorts) “Heavy.”
ED: “Or I could get black out drunk, then you won’t exist either.”
HARRY: “Healthy.”
ED: “Don’t sass me, if you ain’t gonna hug it better.”

HARRY: “You’re doing all the sassing.”
ED: “Sorry, I’m frustrated. All the things I wanted to tell them are bubbling out. They think I’m
not media-compatible. You know what that means, hubby, that means I’m too fat and too ugly for
teen girls, that’s what that means. I bet if they could respectfully call me what I am then they
would. Media-compatible, my fat ass.”
HARRY: (soft) “You called me ‘hubby’…”
ED: “I did? I’m sorry. I didn’t notice. I’m…not myself right now.” (snorts) “Really high…Too
high.”
HARRY: “Yeah, of course. I didn’t think much of it…” (awkward pause, Harry coughs)
“Gemma’s getting married.”
ED: (tired, sad) “Yeah, I know. She called to ask me if I could sing…at the wedding.” (chuckles)
“Now that’s just cruel, right? That has got to fall under the category of brutal.”
HARRY: (spacy, in thought) “She meant well…She uh… She’d be happy…if you did. You’re
great—really great, amazing. Anybody’d be happy to have you…” (choked) “Sing—have you sing
at their wedding.” (pause) “Will you come?”
ED: “Will you want me there?”
HARRY: “Will she come with you?”
ED: “Will you want her there?”
HARRY: “Gemma probably would.”
ED: “And you?”
HARRY: “I’ll live.”
ED: (self-deprecating snort) “You’ll live… What am I supposed to do there anyway? Sing songs I
wrote for you? In someone else’s wedding? Songs I wrote for my own wedding? In front of my ex
and perhaps my future wife?” (under his breath) “Jesus Christ, what the fuck was she thinking?”
HARRY: (trying to make a bad joke) “That we’d get married again?” (long silence) “Ed?”
ED: “Man, cruelty must run in the family then.”
HARRY: “I’m sorry. I thought it’d lighten the situation…”
ED: “Lighten the—“ (shuts up, breathes) “This is not what I want to talk about right now. Let’s
just drop it. I can’t even worry about that right now.”
HARRY: “You’re overthinking it, these meetings. You always get so self-conscious. That’s why
they go so horribly.”
ED: (snapping) “You don’t know what these douchebags do to me—how cutthroat it really is up
here…I just. It frustrates me. Useless trips. Sleeping in disgusting hotels I can barely afford. Cheap
beer I sneak in. Practically selling my organs for the weed. What’s the point of writing lyrics no
one wants to hear? I can write all I want. I’ll still be fat.” (catching himself) “Wow, I’m sorry. I ask
for a happy call and there I go making it all about me and my petty problems. Classic, ey?”
HARRY: (genuine, caring) “Do you need money?”
ED: “No. Harry, no.”
HARRY: “I’m serious. If you’re in a tough spot…I’ve been doing lots of extra work lately. I’m
doing well, I could help—”
ED: “No.” (bitter snort) “I’m in a tough spot but for once that’s not going to be your burden as
well. I’m not putting you through any more of this stupid dream chasing.”
HARRY: “Ed…Teddy…”
ED: (stern) “No, okay? I’ll figure it out. I’ll try again. I’ll…do something or another. Maybe I
need this, the butt-kicking. Maybe this will make me fight harder, work harder, write better songs.”
HARRY: (reluctantly) “Can’t she help?”
ED: “Who? Tay? She’s on tour. Probably another reason why I’m being pissy right now. Not good
at being alone.”
HARRY: (can’t help himself) “Come visit.”
ED: (pause in line) “I don’t know…”
HARRY: “Yeah, of course. I don’t even know why I suggested that. That would be a bad idea.”
(palming his face momentarily, fixing his hair nervously) “Forget I said it.”
ED: “I would…” (mumbled) “If I trusted myself more.”
HARRY: “If you trusted me more, you mean?”
ED: (snorts) “That too.”
HARRY: “I’m not still stuck on you if that’s what worries you. I’m not trying to win you back
over here.”
ED: “How sweet.”
HARRY: “I just care for you and don’t know what else to say since I have no idea what happens
with your life now. And since you were alone, I thought it’d help to be with someone, close to
someone, have someone take care of you—and I’m free, a lot of the time, you know…”
ED: “I bet if I were there you’d be doing that wide-eyed, pout thing—your conning face.”
HARRY: (smiles without noticing) “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
ED: “Yeah, yeah. Guilt-tripping me into all this shit. Pretending to be innocent and nice.”
HARRY: “I am nice. I’m the nicest. I offered to help.”
ED: “It would probably cost me though.”

HARRY: “How?”
ED: “I don’t know how but I know it would—things don’t come in cheap when it comes to you.”
HARRY: “I mean if you were single, yeah, I’d fuck you or whatever.”
ED: “Don’t swear! You know I hate that word. I thought you laid off swearing since you started
working there.”
HARRY: “What was I supposed to say?” (forceful) “If you were still single, I’d make love to you?
We both know that’s not true. We’d fuck and it’d be good sex.”
ED: (angry) “You piss me off when you say shit like this. I wouldn’t sleep with you even if I
wasn’t dating Taylor because you’re my ex and when I did sleep with you, I never ‘fucked’ you for
your information. It was never just fucking for me. We did make love. That’s exactly how it was
on my side. Saying that crude, vulgar word cheapens all we had.”
HARRY: (laughs humorlessly) “Whatever.”
ED: “I thought you called to catch up, not rehash useless drama from a relationship that’s dead.”
HARRY: (stung) “You got pissy first.”
ED: “You provoked me. What do you get out of this anyway? Why did you call?”
HARRY: “Honestly? To talk…” (sighs regretfully) “Honestly, Ed. Just talk…I didn’t…” (winces,
shakes his head) “Want to make you mad. I got carried away. It was completely inappropriate for
me to say. I apologize. I slipped up. I’ve been horny lately and, you know how that song and dance
goes. I crossed the line.”
ED: “It’s fine. We all get a little itchy talking about the past.” (exhales, clear he’s smoking, his
voice is thick when he speaks again) “For what it’s worth, if I had never dated you, I’d have gladly
accepted the offer with or without a girlfriend.” (Harry hisses, clearly uncomfortable with the
topic) “But then again, I might be bias since I think you’re the only boy in the world that gets me
this wrecked just using your voice…”
HARRY: (his breath trembles a little) “Yeah?”
ED: “Yeah, you’re my exception.” (quiet, tense) “Is that how you felt about him?”
HARRY: (pleading, anguished) “Teddy…”
ED: (bitter, clear he’s hurting when speaking about it) “And still, still…with all that bullshit, I
can’t help wanting you physically. The only thing that keeps me from kissing your mouth every
minute of every day is the shit we went through.”
HARRY: (gulps) “You mean the shit I put you through?”
ED: (pained snort) “That too.”
HARRY: (silence) “It was harsh, the song…It hurt.”
ED: “It hurt for me too. It hurt to write.”

HARRY: “Fans like it.”
ED: “And you?”
HARRY: (smiles, choked up) “You called me out. And you were so…so…” (struggling,
emotional) “Vulnerable about it that even I for a second rooted for you. Even I said, fuck that
noise, when the song was about me! I was that bitch you were talking about.”
ED: “I disguised it. They think it’s a girl. They don’t know.”
HARRY: “Who cares if they don’t know? I know! It hurt.”
ED: “I’m not gonna apologize. It’s the only way I found that helped. It’s the only way I could
release all that pain and frustration. Music comes from my heart. I can’t censor it. I can’t pretend
I’m happy and sing sappy love songs when I’m struggling to breathe. That’s how I was when I
wrote it. I wrote it on that plane back, sobbing my eyes out. And my hand was shaking so much
that the words were barely legible and the woman next to me kept saying it would be okay without
even knowing what had happened. All over my arm I had written ‘don’t call him’ with a pen
because I feared the moment I landed, I’d be back with you though I knew it wouldn’t work out. I
counted minutes that first day. You know what made it unbearable? The fact that I knew you were
worst, crying somewhere alone, calling me, leaving voicemails that had me bawling until I could
not longer feel my chest. I know you had three panic attacks that night. Zayn told me. We do that
to each other. That’s why we can’t be together. That’s what makes your lips not so tempting
anymore.”
HARRY: (crying silently, wiping his tears on the jacket sleeve clutched in his hand) “Write a song
about that…”
ED: “I have. But I can’t sing it yet. I will at some point though and I’ll gift it to you, just you. It
can be our little closure.”
HARRY: (sniffles, takes a deep breath, voice quiet) “I thought we weren’t rehashing past
drama…”
ED: “Right.” (coughs, clear he was crying as well) “You’re right.” (sighs) “Dammit. Will it
always be like this? Between us? Will it always be this…painful?”
HARRY: (shrugs sadly) “Maybe…Maybe it’s just not meant to be.”
ED: “I want my best friend back.”
HARRY: (whispering, closing his eyes) “Me too, Teddy. Me too.”
ED: “Why do you still call me that?”
HARRY: (confessing) “Makes me feel better. It’s like a safe word. It comforts me.”
ED: “It’s yours then.”
HARRY: “She doesn’t call you that?”
ED: “No. I won’t let her. That’s you. You call me that.”
HARRY: “Thank you.”

ED: “It’s hard though, huh? Nine months and it’s still hard. Thinking about it doesn’t get easier
either. Pain dulls but it’s still there…”
HARRY: (sniffling) “It’s just the first time we talked in those months—first time I wasn’t bawling
my eyes out…” (small) “Begging you to come back…” (long pause) “I’m sure after this, things
will improve. We just needed to get over this step. Now we know where we stand. Now we can
just be ourselves again.”
ED: “I hope so. Because I want us to be friends and I want us to be there for the big moments.”
HARRY: (wipes his eyes) “So make a big moment happen. Get this deal.”
ED: “I’m trying. Not my fault they think my accent’s weird and my tummy’s too flabby.”
HARRY: “They probably—“
LOUIS: (spots him from a distance, runs over, interrupts Harry by tackling him into a hug) “You
were gonna leave without me, you selfish, little brat.”
HARRY: (startles, squeaking) “Louis!” (turns around to see Louis smirking at him) “What’s
wrong with you? Do you wanna get punched again?” (to Ed) “One second, Ed…” (Louis’ eyes
narrow as he glares the phone) “I was waiting for you. I didn’t forget. Get in the car.”
LOUIS: “No. I don’t want to go in the cage, thank you very much.” (sulking) “Besides you didn’t
hug me back.”
ED: (amused) “Who’s this, Harry? He sounds interesting.”
HARRY: “A friend—“ (humphs as Louis hugs him again, squeezing him tighter at the label) “—
best friend. My best friend who’s not Zayn…”
LOUIS: (mumbled against Harry’s shirt) “Hug me back, moron.”
HARRY: (wraps one arm around him, the other still on the phone) “I’m on the phone. I’ll hug
you back when I’m done. Won’t take long.”
ED: “Oh, it just might. I wanna hear all about him. He must be pretty high up your crush list if
he’s calling you moron and treating you like garbage. Those are your initial mating stages.”
HARRY: (to Ed) “Oh, you have no idea.”
LOUIS: (not letting go) “I’m cold.”
HARRY: “Get in the car. Turn on the heat.” (to Ed) “He gets a bit confusing after work—”
LOUIS: (whiny, dramatic) “Why are you not giving me your jacket?” (louder, pulling away,
stomping his feet) “I said I was cold, Styles. Jacket me.” (crosses his arms) “Now.”
ED: (laughing) “Oh my god, you’re dating a diva. I’m in love with this. I hope he’s making your
life hell. How does this even work? You’re a baby—You want someone to put your arms in the
jacket holes because you’re too small and cute to do it yourself! And now, this, how do you
function together?”
HARRY: (chuckling) “We don’t. We wouldn’t. That’s why we’re not dating…” (looks at Louis,
rolls his eyes, holds the phone with one hand, pulls the other one out of his jacket) “Best friends, I
said... but he does often find ways to make my life hell so you’d like him either way.” (hands Louis
the jacket, Louis doesn’t move, Harry shakes it around) “Here.”
LOUIS: (spoiled) “I don’t want it if you’re not giving it with love.” (points his tongue out, stomps
towards the car) “And if I’m making your life hell then fine, don’t talk to me.” (throwing his
hands in the air, making a scene) “Don’t pay attention to me. Just ignore me for other people—
better people—people who can sing better and be better and—and do all that cute stuff with
balloons.”
HARRY: (shaking his head, smile on his face) “Oh boy. There he goes. This is going to cost me. I
hope you’re happy.”
ED: “Give the jacket with love, Harry. It’s like you don’t know the rules of courting.”
HARRY: “I’m not courting him. He’s straight. Like really straight. Remember when Liam made
that joke about 100% straight-ness. That’s him. Louis invented that phrase and embodies it pretty
well.”
ED: “Ah… You wish though. I can practically hear the thirst.”
HARRY: (looking at Louis who’s busy slouching on top of the hood, ass facing Harry, stretched in
the jeans since he’s bending over, Harry bites his lip, eying it, whispering, husky) “You’d want
him too if you saw what he looks like. He’s so goddamn sexy. Everything about him drives me
wild. He’s giving me a show right now—on purpose of course, he’s a bit of a tease—but I don’t
mind because…”
ED: “Wank off material for a week!”
HARRY: (laughing) “A month!”
ED: “And this is why I need to be kept in the loop. Snapchat solves these issues of poor me not
having witnessed this glory.” (flirty) “Bonus points if your face is in it too.”
HARRY: (teasing) “Wait, wait, in his ass or in the picture?”
ED: (laughing out loud) “I’ll accept both.”
HARRY: (whispered) “And what about just my face…or my ass?”
ED: (hesitates) “You might not wanna do that…”
HARRY: “Why not?”
ED: “Because then you’d get pics of my ginger bum in return and they’ll be none too flattering.”
HARRY: “Your butt has freckles. Your butt is weird.”
ED: “Offense taken.”
HARRY: (laughs genuinely) “I’ll add you on Snap and we’ll solve this later.” (Louis glances back
subtly, notices he’s lost Harry’s attention, huffs, tries to climb on top of the car by crawling on the
hood, immediately Harry voices his concern) “Don’t do that, love.” (Louis growls under his
breath, rolls his eyes, assuming it’s meant for Ed)
ED: “Don’t do what?”
HARRY: “Not you.” (louder) “Louis, I’m talking to you. Enough of that. You’ll really get hurt.
Come on now.”
LOUIS: (stunned) “Oh…” (sitting on the hood, still trying to process it, smirks slowly) “Come
stop me then.” (makes his way to the top of the Rover)
HARRY: “Louis! Come get the jacket.” (Louis gives him the middle finger, struggling to make the
final climb on the roof, getting stuck, giving up and laying there half on the roof, the rest of his
body on the windshield) “You’ll fall through the window. Get down.”
LOUIS: (moaning) “Help.”
HARRY: “Louis!”
LOUIS: (mock crying, loud) “I hate you. You did this!”
HARRY: (sighs) “Sorry, Ed, he’s being a child.”
ED: “It sounds like no one can even begin to get your attention when he’s around. He wants to be
front and centre, no competition. He’s aggressive about it too. He demands it.” (chuckles) “I’ll let
you go save him.”
HARRY: (sheepishly) “Sorry. I’ll call though. And I’ll snap you. Later. We’ll get this
awkwardness sorted out.”
ED: “Yes, we will. And you get that whatever-that-is sorted out.”
HARRY: “I’ll try.” (smiles) “Bye, Teddy.” (looks at Louis for a minute before walking towards
the car) “I’m done. Get down. Climb down so we can leave.”
LOUIS: (dramatic) “Drive with me here. Throw me off a cliff. Kill me.”
HARRY: (leans on the car) “What’s gotten into you, silly?”
LOUIS: (suddenly pops up, jumps on Harry, practically dragging him to the floor) “You’re mine!
You’re not allowed to have other friends. I’m your only friend.”
HARRY: (laughing, pulling him up on his feet again) “I don’t have friends, don’t worry. They
don’t like me.”
LOUIS: (latches on his leg, grumbling like a child) “No.”
HARRY: (fond) “You’re being ridiculous.” (caresses his hair, soft) “You’re cold. Look at your
arms. Let’s get inside.”
LOUIS: (jolts up again) “I hate you. You’re mean.” (runs on the driver side of the car) “I’ll
drive.”
HARRY: (still lost but gets in the passenger seat nonetheless, hands an expectant Louis the keys)
“As long as it’s not off a cliff.”
LOUIS: (giddy, bouncing in excitement) “And I get to have jacket too.”

HARRY: (hands him the jacket that he was holding) “Whatever you want, princess.”
Vagina
Chapter 55: Vagina
[Some Random Parking Lot, Somewhere in Orlando, 11:29pm, Chick Flick Turned R]
HARRY: (sitting on the hood of the car, leaning back on the windshield, beer bottle in hand) “If
you had told me that this is what I’d be doing in the future, past me might have actually gotten
excited.”
LOUIS: (beside him, also sitting on the hood, cross-legged, bottle on his lap) “What’s wrong with
this?”
HARRY: “Nothing. Like I said, a snapshot of this looks pretty perfect. I’m outside, on top of my
car, looking at the sky, drinking beer with a good-looking boy beside me. It’s picture perfect. We
could put it on Instagram or Tumblr and they’d think these two are living the life.”
LOUIS: (smirks) “So what’s the point you’re trying to make?”
HARRY: “That I’m not looking at it without context. I know what comes before and after this so
it’s…” (shakes his head) “Just confusing really. This day has turned really long to be honest…”
LOUIS: “You might need to chug another bottle if you’re already feeling down.”
HARRY: “Alcohol makes you feel down. It’s a depressant. If I chug another one, I’ll fall asleep
here. I’ve been up since six.”
LOUIS: (leans back on the windshield as well, peels the label off the bottle) “Why’d you shove
everything in today? You got news that your sister’s getting hitched and decided to double check
your ex still doesn’t want to?”
HARRY: (chuckles) “Maybe subconsciously that was it.”
LOUIS: “What was it consciously?”
HARRY: “Zayn told me he wasn’t feeling well. I had to call him at some point. Two birds, one
stone.”
LOUIS: “Why did you have to call him?”
HARRY: “We hadn’t had a proper talk since…well, since months ago.”
LOUIS: (rips the entire label off in one swift motion) “What’s the use in talking to him?”
HARRY: (shrugs) “He makes me feel better.”
LOUIS: “Most people don’t have that reaction to their ex-s. Plus, I don’t know how you define
feel better but I normally don’t cry while doing it.”
HARRY: (bites his lip, looks ahead) “I wasn’t crying…just—“
LOUIS: “Your eyes were red. Your nose was runny. You looked beyond upset. And your cheeks
had yet to dry. You were crying.”
HARRY: “I was tearing up. I got emotional.”
LOUIS: (disguised worry) “He hurt you? He said something to hurt you?”
HARRY: “No…” (winces silently) “Not really. We bickered a little bit but it was my fault.”
LOUIS: “What’d you do?”
HARRY: (snorts bitterly) “I’d rather not say…” (mouths the bottle, drinks) “It was stupid
anyway.”
LOUIS: (curious, sitting up) “What? Now you have me guessing in my head.”
HARRY: (looks at him) “I swore.”
LOUIS: (amused) “Swore? You told him off?”
HARRY: “Not quite.”
LOUIS: “What then? Spit it out.”
HARRY: (frowns) “Why does it matter? It was inappropriate. He was right to be pissed off. Come
to think of it, I’d have been disappointed if he wasn’t. I wanted to piss him off because he seemed
so calm and unaffected. I wanted to prove that I could still get to him—It was stupid.”
LOUIS: (slides down the hood) “What, you told him you wanted him back?” (paces around,
kicking at rocks, sentences almost snarled) “You told him you loved him?”
HARRY: (confused) “No.” (pause, Louis picks up a rock and throws it off the side of the road) “I
told him I wanted him.”
LOUIS: “Wanted him?”
HARRY: (blushing) “Just wanted him, you know?”
LOUIS: “You wanted to bed him again?”
HARRY: (makes a strangled noise) “Yeah, pretty much. Was crude about it too. Pretty gross, not
anything I had ever told him before. I never used to get vulgar with him until the break up. Now I
can’t help slipping the f-word. On purpose too, I think. He’s right in thinking that. I like seeing him
snap when he hears it. He got pissy. Over the way I phrased it. It got awkward. I shouldn’t have
said it. It was uncalled for.”
LOUIS: (silent, speaking up cautiously) “Do you, want him?”
HARRY: “Dunno.”
LOUIS: “Yes, you do know. Man up.”
HARRY: “I do…I guess, I do…a lot, now that I think about it. I’m horny. I can’t help getting
horny when I hear his voice because I associate it with—well, and he does too!” (frantic) “It’s not
just me being a lovesick stalker. He gets a similar reaction. Probably why he doesn’t like talking to
me much…” (huffs, settles down) “If I wasn’t horny, I wouldn’t have said anything.”
LOUIS: (not looking at him) “There’s lots of people around. Why him? Why your ex? Was he
really that good?”
HARRY: “He was unbelievably good.”
LOUIS: (curious despite himself) “Yeah? How so?”
HARRY: “He was…ah…” (dreamy almost) “Very gentle with me and loving. Yet when I wanted
it rough, he really took control in a way that still made me feel valued.” (Louis gulps, walks closer
to the car) “Plus…” (gets really quiet, flushed)
LOUIS: (leaning on the car, almost breathless) “Plus what?”
HARRY: “He was really good at—at…letting me…uh…” (uncomfortable) “He was really good
at satisfying my fetishes.” (wringing his hands) “I have lots of those and Ed was always so
comfortable exploring them with me and—“ (stupid smile on his face, eyes down) “You don’t
know how good it feels to have your fetishes respected and satisfied…it’s like…like…” (shakes his
head, out of words) “The entire experience becomes an orgasm—that’s what it’s like, a mental
orgasm.”
LOUIS: (speechless) “Wow.”
HARRY: (scratching the back of his head, sheepish) “Yeah…I just—I don’t even know how we
got to this topic really. I’m sorry. Let’s talk about some—”
LOUIS: “What kind of fetishes?”
HARRY: “Huh?”
LOUIS: “Like…what did you like and stuff? What did he do that you really liked?”
HARRY: “Quickies…” (ashamed) “In public…” (panicked) “Like not so others watch us or like
some type of public indecency—It’s not about that at all. We were always well-hidden and—
and…”
LOUIS: (flushed as well) “The adrenaline rush of being caught? You like that?”
HARRY: “Kinda…No, it’s more about…like…” (gulps) “Like knowing he’s not embarrassed of
me—of how loud I could be—or what I might say or do during—He’s not hiding me in a room
somewhere as if what we’re doing is shameful or bad.” (Louis gulps, breathing faster) “He’s proud
to say I’m his boy and he’s proud to hear me enjoy what he gives me.” (frustrated) “I’m not
explaining this well. To me it feels like—like can I talk about Ed in specific because I haven’t been
with anyone else? Would that make you uncomfortable if I mentioned his name?”
LOUIS: (mouth dry, very attentive) “No, no. What did he do? In specific. Since you said he was so
good.”
HARRY: “He would…oh god this is crude and maybe inappropriate—“
LOUIS: “On with it. I’m of age, I promise. I agree to the terms and conditions.”
HARRY: “He would hold me really close, touch me all over, get me horny—we’d be outside, of
course, so it’d be innocent at first, touches, caresses, slight squeezes, always moving lower and
lower. He pretended to be oblivious always, as if he didn’t notice that he was standing too close to
me, breathing down my neck or rubbing his crotch against my bum, disguising it as a hug.”
LOUIS: “And then?”
HARRY: “And he’d always know—that was weird, he always knew at what stage I was…he
could tell just by my body language and the noise I made how much I wanted it—I could never
fake with him and I didn’t need to, he found the spot so easily, it was weird. I couldn’t handle it at
first.”
LOUIS: (flushed) “Why not?”
HARRY: “It was so intense. He’d put his fingers in—I’m sorry, this is graphic—In a second he’d
press all the right places and I was shaking and it was just too much, so much, all the time. I kept
finishing during foreplay—embarrassing. He like is a body whisperer or something. So when we
were out, he’d get me really wet—“ (snorts) “He used to say if I don’t see it on your jeans, you
don’t want me bad enough.”
LOUIS: (transfixed, whispered) “Shit.”
HARRY: “Yeah. See, stuff like that made it harder to resist him. And when I finally found some
place I could, you know…It wasn’t always sex…He decided. But it was always so good because
he wanted me to be loud. So when he was touching me, he’d hold me tight and whisper in my ear
about how he wanted the entire world to know how beautiful I was and how I was his.”
LOUIS: (biting his lip) “And you liked that?”
HARRY: “I loved it. It made me feel sexy, made me feel completely, I don’t know, worshipped
almost, desired. All this sounds bad, sounds petty. It’s not like I needed him to confirm I was
beautiful—Not like an insecurity. I’ve always known I’m attractive.” (Louis raises his eyebrows)
“I mean, come on, there comes a point you understand from the way people treat you…so it wasn’t
about that. It was just the sentiment. He took pride in the fact that I felt good. He was most happy
when he could make it good for me. It wasn’t about him getting off.”
LOUIS: (honest) “I can’t imagine…”
HARRY: (smiling) “What about you? You have any fetishes?”
LOUIS: (snapping awake, uncharacteristically nervous) “Uh me? No, I don’t uh…I mean I don’t
know. Not really, no.” (turning around and walking some distance again) “I mean, I don’t have sex
like that. My sex is very boring.”
HARRY: “I’m sure it isn’t. Sex is never boring.”
LOUIS: “Mine is. It’s the same thing…”
HARRY: “You could try new stuff?”
LOUIS: “Yeah, I’m not that good with new. I’m uh…” (with great difficulty, admitting) “I’m a
little scared. When it comes to this stuff…”
HARRY: “Why?”
LOUIS: “I don’t really wanna talk about it, if you don’t mind.”
HARRY: “That’s fine.”
LOUIS: “I’m sorry. I know it’s unfair—I just asked you about something that’s deeply personal
and you shared with me so I feel like an ass for not doing the same but really, it’s uh…”
(emotional, almost teary-eyed) “Really, not something I’m comfortable talking about.”
HARRY: “And that’s fine.” (smiling) “I told you because it didn’t make me feel bad. I wouldn’t
have told you otherwise. So I understand. We all have personal stuff.”
LOUIS: (sad, looking down) “Thanks.”
HARRY: “You know what Bataille said—“
LOUIS: “Who?”
HARRY: “Georges Bataille? He’s a french surrealist. He’s written papers too. I uh…read a lot on
this random, stupid stuff in my free time…”
LOUIS: “What did he say?”
HARRY: “He said, ‘I challenge any lover of painting to love a canvas as much as a fetishist loves
his shoe’. It’s different, you know, sex is nice but you get a different feeling when it’s about a
fetish—I don’t know. I’m not making any sense. I’m weird. Ignore me. Pretend you don’t know all
this about me.”
LOUIS: (smiles, walking closer again) “You like surrealism?”
HARRY: (giddy, nodding feverishly) “Yeah. I love everything behind it especially the films—I’m
really into photography. I think if I went back to school…I’d do film production or something.”
LOUIS: “You should take online classes?”
HARRY: (lighting up) “You think?”
LOUIS: “Yeah, it’d be cool. I could help you if you want. You could get your degree.”
HARRY: “I’d really like that. I was telling Simon—Did he tell you?” (Louis shakes his head)
“Oh…well, I was telling him I wanted to but I wasn’t sure but now, yeah, I’d love your help.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, of course. To fix your other problem, just find fresh ass. Lots of weirdos out
there.”
HARRY: (chuckles) “True, but I don’t sleep around. If I get that intimate with someone, he has to
be a person I really care about, on a different level. As of right now, Ed’s the only one that fits the
bill. He’s familiar. I need familiar if I’m going to get naked.”
LOUIS: “So you want a boyfriend?”
HARRY: “Yeah.” (nodding) “One of those would be nice.”
LOUIS: “Why? What’s so good about having someone constantly clinging on your arm and
monitoring your every action?” (mocking, mimicking) “Where are you going? Who are you
calling? Is she pretty? Why don’t you do this for me? Why don’t you pay attention to me?”
HARRY: (laughing, teasing) “Boyfriends aren’t like that…”
LOUIS: “And you say I’m sexist.”
HARRY: (snorts) “You’re right. That was bad. Shouldn’t have said that. Both girls and boys can
be clingy and annoying. Look at me, prime example.”
LOUIS: “Ha.” (climbing back on the car with difficulty, Harry gently pulls him up to help)
“Thanks.” (settles down on his back, closer to Harry than the first time, sides touching, both
looking at the sky) “Were you a clingy boyfriend?”
HARRY: “That first year? Oh, the absolute worst. I latched onto him hard. Claws deep and stuff.
I’d go to all his gigs and hang out with his friends. I was just a parasite.”
LOUIS: (smiles lazily) “I can see that.”
HARRY: “I was sixteen when I first met him and he was this freckled teddy bear who said weird
things and got made fun of. So Zayn and I took him under our wing, well, Zayn’s wing since I was
under Zayn’s wing too and we hung out a lot, had so much in common. He was sweet and caring
and just in love with love. Then he came out and my pants just about flew off my body.” (laughing
as Louis elbows him) “I was constantly like, ‘Zayn, casually mention to Ed that I’m gay, please’. It
was not casual.”
LOUIS: (amused, turns his face towards Harry) “So if you were clingy, what’s so good about
dating you?”
HARRY: (good-humoredly) “Nothing apparently. That’s why I’m not dating anyone.” (turns to
his side so they’re facing each other) “What’s so bad about dating you?”
LOUIS: (smirking) “Everything apparently.”
HARRY: (biting his lip in amusement, fond) “I can see that. I can see you being a little shit.”
LOUIS: “Shut up.” (sheepish) “According to Eleanor, I do weird stuff when I sleep with people.”
LOUIS: (blushes faintly, small) “Like keep my boxers on when I, you know…”
HARRY: “During…?”
LOUIS: “Yeah…It’s stupid. Dunno why I’m telling you this. Don’t tell anyone.”
HARRY: “So…wait…” (grinning) “You poke out of the little hole like a whack-a-mole?” (Louis
smacks him in the arm, blushing harder) “Hey, hey…It’s cute. That hole finally has a purpose.”
LOUIS: “It’s cute?”
HARRY: (smiling at him) “It’s adorable. It’s unique.”
LOUIS: “Cool.” (sits up again) “I’m gonna need way more beer if we’re going to continue this
conversation.”
HARRY: (laughing) “Who cares? I don’t judge. We all have our little things.” (cheeky) “Plus, I
bet you buy sexy underwear.” (more to himself) “God, if you were mine I’d buy you lingerie and
let you pick which material felt best during. Silk maybe?” (looks at Louis who is wide-eyed, mouth
open, flushed) “Oh…Sorry. I’m sorry. I get carried away!”
LOUIS: (gulps, recovering, weakly) “Go be horny somewhere else.”
HARRY: “Who says I’m horny around you?”
LOUIS: (raises an eyebrow, throwing him a look) “You’re not?”
HARRY: “Nah. You’re too straight for me.” (drinks some more beer) “I don’t do straight.”
LOUIS: (withdrawn) “Oh.” (small) “Why is being straight a bad thing?”
HARRY: “It’s not. At all. It’s just…not attractive to me.” (snorts) “It’s like my anti-fetish. When I
know a guy is straight, my mind automatically vetoes them so I don’t end up pining, you know…”
(staring at him, biting his lip) “It’s a defensive mechanism, though not always effective…”
LOUIS: (quiet, shrugging weakly) “Sometimes you can’t help being attracted to someone…”
HARRY: “True…” (awkward silence, Harry coughs, changes topic) “Hey, you should teach me
how to do one-night stands. Like what to say and stuff. ”
LOUIS: (sitting on the car again, snappy) “Why, they’re stupid.”
HARRY: (raises an eyebrow) “Don’t you have one-night—“
LOUIS: “I used to but not anymore, because they’re dumb.”
HARRY: “Oh…Well, then, how do you sleep with people?”
LOUIS: “You should only sleep with people you really like. You were doing it right before. Just…
not Ed, I guess.”
HARRY: (chuckles) “I don’t like many people.” (at the sky, sighing) “Almost virgin forever!”
LOUIS: “Virginity is a matter of how many times not how many people fool—by the way, you
ever slept with a girl?”
HARRY: (makes a face) “Ew, no. They have munginas.”
LOUIS: “What?”
HARRY: “Munginas. Like girl dicks with layers. Like flowers, flesh flowers with a hole in there
where they pee and babies come out.”
LOUIS: (amused) “I hope you know those are called ‘vaginas’.”
HARRY: (shock) “Wait, really?”
LOUIS: (laughing) “Are you serious right now?!”
HARRY: “I always thought—wait, are you fucking with me? It’s va-gina?”
LOUIS: (dying of laughter) “Are you—Oh my god—You idiot—Oh my god! Mungina?! Mun—I
can’t live with this knowledge—I need to die. Kill me—I can’t live knowing a twenty-two year old
man thought female genitals are called munginas.”
HARRY: (blushing) “They aways said pussy or—or I don’t know what girls say—How should I
know?” (fake sobbing) “No one must ever know about this—Louis!”
LOUIS: “Didn’t you take sex-ed in high school? Do you watch TV? Do you live under a rock?”
HARRY: “We didn’t have sex-ed in my school and apparently the word ‘vagina’ doesn’t feature
much in the types of media I watch.”
LOUIS: “Biology? Did you take biology?”
HARRY: (face heated) “How did this happen to me? I’ve been lied to. My whole life is a lie.”
LOUIS: (hurting from how much he laughed) “Not a day will go by where I don’t call those things
‘munginas’ now. Not. One. Day.”
HARRY: (palming his face) “Oh god…I’m sorry, mother. I’m sorry all goddesses out there…”
(looking up) “While we’re at it, anything else I should know? About mun—vaginas?”
LOUIS: “The real question is what do you know about them? Or better, what do you need to know
about them?” (Harry makes more sobbing sounds, Louis ruffles his hair affectionately) “You’re
perfect as you are. Trust me, you’re not missing much. Stick to men.”
HARRY: (smiles wide) “You know, Lou…I misjudged you.”
LOUIS: “Hmm?”
HARRY: “When we had that fight, I thought—“ (sighs) “I thought wrong. I was wrong. I did you
wrong…” (genuine) “And I’m sorry.” (Louis smiles at him) “You’re uh…you’re great. And you’re
an amazing friend. I’m glad you are my friend.”
LOUIS: (warm and fuzzy on the inside) “I’m glad too. I’m happy—Actually, as cheesy as it
sounds, I haven’t been this happy in a while so… So you’ve done me wrong and right, I suppose.
We’re even now.”
HARRY: (chuckling then biting his lip) “Staying over tonight?”
LOUIS: “Only if I can tell Liam the mungina story.”
HARRY: “But Liam never forgives!”
LOUIS: “And never forgets. This will be news by lunch tomorrow.” (Harry groans) “Oh, cheer
up! Not the end of the world. Just the end of people respecting you.” (winks at him) “Maybe I’ll
ask Jack if he knows what they’re called…”
HARRY: “Don’t you dare.”

Veto
Chapter 56: Veto
Scene 1
[Ed - Harry Texting Thread]
03/21/14 13:12pm
[ED] So…you jacked off to him all night?
[HARRY] *All morning. He was with me all night.
[ED] With you?
[HARRY] Sleeping over.
[ED] And?
[HARRY] He’s straight remember so no touchy!
[ED] I’m imagining you laying there…
[ED] In pain.
[ED] Thinking about what you could do to him.
[HARRY] Accurate.
[HARRY] But not really him I was thinking about.
[ED] ?
[HARRY] I told him about us.
[ED] He didn’t know we were dating?
[HARRY] No, Ed, about what we did together.
[ED] Date?
[HARRY] What else?
[ED] Make love?
[HARRY] Outside.
[ED] Outside what?
[HARRY] ;)
[ED] YOU TOLD YOUR BEST FRIEND THAT I LIKED TO HAVE MY WAYS WITH YOU
IN PUBLIC!!!!
[ED] DO YOU WANT US TO BE SEX OFFENDERS????
[ED] THAT IS ILLEGAL!
[ED] MY LIFE IS OVER!
[ED] I AM FINISHED.
[HARRY] Yes, because Louis is running straight for the police station to denounce a crime that
happened over a year ago.
[ED] STILL
[ED] How does conversation lead that way anyway?
[HARRY] Never you mind how that happens.
[HARRY] My point was someone needed you badly yesterday.
[ED] I have yet to see this Louis.
[HARRY] Here.
[HARRY] [pic attached]
[ED] Ah.
[ED] He’s attractive.
[ED] But there’s still something about you no one can compete with so it’s not fair to send a selfie
of both of you.
[ED] Yeah. He’s hot. A bit short, ey?
[HARRY] Fun sized.
[ED] Nice ass.
[HARRY] Right?
[ED] But he doesn’t have your pink, girly lips so I’ll pass.
[HARRY] You know you don’t have to flirt to get one only of me ;)
[ED] And I’m the one flirting…
[HARRY] Is this flirting? I wouldn’t know I’m bad at it.
[ED] If it involves ;) then it’s flirting.

[HARRY] Okay then
[HARRY] ;) ;) ;) :)
[ED] lol don’t be naughty.
[HARRY] Naughty? Me? Never.
[ED] Of you?
[HARRY] You could say that…
[ED] HARRY!
[HARRY] Well, it is me.
[ED] It’s your dick!
[HARRY] It’s not my dick.
[HARRY] Not entirely.
[HARRY] Just a sneak peak of what I see when I look down.
[ED] Why are you naked???
[ED] Don’t answer that. You’re always naked.
[ED] Why are you hard?????
[HARRY] I was touching myself before you interrupted. All morning, remember?
[ED] Touching yourself to what?
[HARRY] Your 2010 Facebook account.
[HARRY] Very sexy.
[ED] Stop being gross.
[HARRY] Hahahaha!
[HARRY] I’m thinking of getting a crotch tattoo.
[ED] A what?
[HARRY] Tattoo.
[HARRY] Right here.

[ED] UGH WHY DID I FALL FOR THAT
[HARRY] Nay? Yay? What do you think?
[ED] I think you should stop sending me nudies.
[HARRY] I’m showing you where my crotch tattoo will go :(
[ED] Don’t get a crotch tattoo. WTF?
[HARRY] It could say something like “Ed’s forever”.
[HARRY] Or better. Ed is daddy. ;)
[ED] WTF???
[ED] I don’t even know whether to laugh or roll my eyes.
[ED] You spent all that time setting up that mediocre-bordering-creepy flirt?
[HARRY] No, no, I rolled with the punches.
[HARRY] I really do want a crotch tattoo.
[ED] Please don’t have it say my name.
[HARRY] You don’t want your name on it?
[ED] No thank you!
[HARRY] Do you want your mouth on it?
[ED] !!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?
[ED] Fuck you.
[HARRY] Send me one of yours.
[ED] My what?
[HARRY] Boner, duh.
[HARRY] Don’t lie about not having one.
[ED] Fuck you x2
[HARRY] Oh come on. We’re joking, right? Fooling around.
[HARRY] Not serious.
[HARRY] Just want you flustered.
[ED] Well, mission accomplished.

[HARRY] You hot?
[ED] Ehhhh.
[HARRY] Horny?
[ED] I’m used to you.
[HARRY] Not getting one in return? :(
[HARRY] Selfish.
[HARRY] Can I see your tats?
[HARRY] Did you add more?
[ED] Some yeah. It’s a full sleeve now.
[ED] [pic attached]
[HARRY] Why don’t mine look that cool?
[ED] Because you choose stupid tattoos.
[HARRY] Where is the lie though?
[HARRY] You’ve lost weight :(
[ED] I think you mean :) not :(
[HARRY] You were fine before.
[ED] No, I wasn’t. I needed this.
[ED] [pic attached]
[HARRY] SERIOUSLY??
[HARRY] In nine months?
[HARRY] Did you give birth?
[HARRY] Did a baby come out of you?
[HARRY] Where is the rest of you?
[HARRY] The other half?
[ED] Don’t know whether to be insulted or flattered.
[ED] It’s amazing how much you lose just boycotting beer.
[HARRY] Yeah, amazing.

[ED] You like it?
[HARRY] You look hot but I don’t know. The old you was
[HARRY] I don’t know I liked the old you.
[ED] You’ll get used to this. It’s only ‘cause you haven’t been around.
[HARRY] Does she like it?
[ED] She likes that I’m happy with myself.
[HARRY] You were perfect before.
[ED] Stop that.
[HARRY] I’m serious.
[ED] I didn’t feel like I was. I felt like I didn’t deserve you.
[HARRY] That’s bullshit.
[ED] [pic attached]
[HARRY] Is this your face or ass?
[ED] FUCK OFF IM SERIOUS
[HARRY] Ahaha! I’m sorry. You have a pretty face. Where’s the beard though? I like my scruffy
daddy.
[ED] Shaved it off. For auditions and such.
[ED] But I’ll grow it out for the next time I eat your ass.
[HARRY] FUCK. YES!
[ED] NO! Ignore that.
[HARRY] Too late. Oh, way too late.
[ED] Not okay for me to say.
[HARRY] Who cares? It’s between the two of us.
[ED] Doesn’t make it okay.
[ED] I have a girlfriend.
[ED] Not okay.
[ED] Stop it!

[ED] I’m being fucking serious here. Stop.
[ED] Enough.
[HARRY] I’m sorry :(
[ED] We need to stop if we’ll do shit like this.
[HARRY] No pics?
[ED] No nudes. Nothing you wouldn’t want me receiving from another person if we were dating.
[HARRY] Ok. I understand.
[HARRY] Sometimes I cross the line.
[HARRY] I’m sorry.
[HARRY] I’ll shut up.
[ED] Don’t get like this. Just keep it friendly.
[HARRY] I can’t help it with you.
[ED] Then maybe we shouldn’t do this.
[HARRY] Yeah.
[HARRY] Sorry.
[HARRY] I feel stupid.
[ED] Don’t.
[HARRY] I just still feel that with you.
[HARRY] The sexual tension.
[HARRY] So I get horny and excited and ahead of myself.
[ED] It is there.
[ED] That’s why it’s so easy to slip up.
[HARRY] I miss sleeping with you.
[ED] Harry.
[HARRY] It’s the truth.
[HARRY] I don’t care if you never wanna talk to me again after this, I’ll tell you the truth.
[ED] Ok.
[ED] What’s the truth?
[HARRY] I want you.
[HARRY] Bad.
[ED] You said you weren’t pining after me earlier.
[HARRY] I’m not. We’re shit boyfriends but you’re sexy and I want you.
[HARRY] After yesterday…Remembering how good it was. Had dreams about you all night,
babe.
[HARRY] Goddamn what I wouldn’t do for another chance where you pin me on a bed and make
me scream.
[ED] I have a girlfriend now.
[HARRY] I cheated in my own relationship, Ed, you think I’ll give a fuck about someone else’s.
[HARRY] Shit.
[HARRY] I’m sorry, that came out wrong.
[ED] That was low.
[ED] But hey, the truth I guess, right?
[HARRY] No.
[HARRY] I don’t know.
[HARRY] I’m selfish.
[ED] You’re just hurt.
[HARRY] I am.
[HARRY] You started dating her when I was still fully in love with you.
[HARRY] And it killed. I wanted to kill her.
[HARRY] Time has passed but it’s hard to like her even though she’s done nothing wrong.
[HARRY] I did everything wrong.
[ED] Love’s dumb.
[HARRY] So dumb.
[ED] Do you still love me?
[HARRY] What do you think?

[ED] I don’t know. That’s why I asked.
[HARRY] You do know. You’re just scared because you don’t know what will happen if you
admit it to yourself.
[ED] I hate you.
[ED] I was fine without you. I was living life. Not thinking about this at all.
[HARRY] But every time I texted, your heart jumped to your throat.
[ED] Zayn was right maybe.
[HARRY] Don’t fucking mention Zayn right now.
[ED] He’s the one you picked.
[ED] Were you wrong?
[HARRY] What if I was? That’s what you wanna hear?
[HARRY] You want me to say I picked wrong? Is that closure enough for you?
[ED] No, Harry, it’s not.
[ED] That makes it worse.
[HARRY] Good. Because I wouldn’t have meant it.
[ED] Why are you so obsessed with him?
[HARRY] It is what it is.
[ED] It’s not healthy.
[HARRY] It’s the price I have to pay for having had such an amazing best friend my entire life.
[ED] If Zayn had been gay, we’d have never happened.
[ED] That’s what hurts me the most, knowing I got you by default.
[HARRY] What??
[ED] It’s the truth. You’d have dated him. You’d have never looked my way.
[HARRY] You think Zayn would have been bullied by the football team for me?
[ED] They were teasing.
[HARRY] You think he’d have walked to school in the middle of a snow storm just because he
knew I had a game and no jacket for the walk home?
[ED] I’m stupid like that.

[HARRY] You think he would have spent every all-nighter with me getting me through my papers
one word at a time?
[ED] I had work anyway.
[HARRY] If you think I dated you because I couldn’t have Zayn, you’re a moron.
[HARRY] I dated you because I was fully in love with every single thing about you.
[HARRY] Because I couldn’t imagine my life without you there.
[HARRY] I was ready to marry you!
[HARRY] I CANT GET OVER YOU, YOU IDIOT!
[ED] Dear lord why are you doing this to me right now?
[ED] I’m sobbing. Enough.
[HARRY] Don’t you dare belittle our relationship.
[HARRY] It’s the one thing in my life I’m proud of.
[HARRY] One thing I did right was choose you! That relationship keeps me alive, gives me hope.
[HARRY] How dare you!
[ED] I don’t know what to do with you anymore.
[ED] I don’t know how to deal with this.
[HARRY] I don’t want to ruin your life again.
[HARRY] I don’t want you back. You don’t want me back. I get that.
[HARRY] I just wanna be close to you.
[HARRY] Friend-zone me forever. I just need to be close.
[HARRY] You make me so happy and I’ll put up with the occasional mental breakdown for you.
[ED] And what about me?
[HARRY] It’s all up to you.
[HARRY] If you can too then I’ll stay. If you can’t then I’ll keep away. I can’t hurt you anymore.
[ED] I don’t know if me crawled in a corner of my bathroom crying classifies as a minor mental
breakdown.
[HARRY] God, I wish I could hug you.
[ED] God, I wish you’d shut up.

[HARRY] So it’s a bad idea to call you right now?
[ED] Horrible.
[ED] Your voice would be the last straw.
[ED] ???
[HARRY] It’s safe, don’t worry.
[ED] Oh.
[HARRY] :)
[ED] I hate you so much, you know that?
[HARRY] You told me that when you were sad you wanted Drake, donuts and dimples so…
[ED] No, no, just keep screwing that knife in real good. You almost have my heart there.
[HARRY] While you already have all of mine. :)
[ED] Piss off.
[HARRY] I joke. I’ll let you clean up and think things through.
[ED] Alright.
[HARRY] I love you, idiot.
[ED] Idem :) xx
[HARRY] Text me tomorrow.
[ED] Will do.
Scene 2
[Louis- Harry Texting Thread]
03/21/14 15:34pm
[LOUIS] Look what I found today.
[LOUIS] [pic attached]
[HARRY] OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH.
[LOUIS] Don’t jizz yet. I’m just holding them.

[HARRY] YOU BOUGHT UNDIES WITH PINK LACE AND YOU WANT ME /NOT/ TO
JIZZ???
[LOUIS] Caps lock got stuck, ey?
[HARRY] LOUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!
[LOUIS] You coming out or what? You’ve been holed up inside all day.
[HARRY] Day off. What do you expect?
[LOUIS] Sandy wants his date.
[HARRY] Will you be there?
[LOUIS] No, Harry, Sandy is actually taking you on a date.
[LOUIS] Of course, I’m gonna be there, moron.
[HARRY] What should I wear?
[LOUIS] Lingerie.
[LOUIS] So we can match.
[HARRY] I dare you.
[LOUIS] To what?
[HARRY] Wear them tonight. Underneath your jeans.
[LOUIS] What if I do?
[HARRY] I’d probably cum in my pants.
[LOUIS] Somehow not an incentive.
[HARRY] You don’t wanna see me uncomfortable?
[HARRY] Humiliated?
[HARRY] Blushed?
[HARRY] Wet pants?
[HARRY] Hot and bothered?
[LOUIS] Fine. Fine. All of the above.
[LOUIS] Only if you do it too.
[HARRY] I don’t have any?
[LOUIS] ;)
[HARRY] You bought me undies??????
[LOUIS] [pic attached]
[HARRY] You bought me A THONG????
[HARRY] Where the fuck are my balls supposed to go???
[LOUIS] Dunno. Dun care.
[LOUIS] Are you doing it or what?
[HARRY] Yeah, yeah but I warn you, you might have to pull it out my ass later.
[LOUIS] You never fail to disgust me.
[HARRY] ;)
[LOUIS] I’ll come over after work.
[HARRY] I’ll be naked.
[LOUIS] How about no?
[HARRY] What, I don’t have underwear. I’m waiting on them.
[LOUIS] You can’t see me right now but my eyes rolled into the underworld and back.
[LOUIS] I’ll be there around six.
[LOUIS] Be clothed.
[LOUIS] Stop jacking off. Doesn’t your hand hurt already?
[HARRY] I could use another hand.
[LOUIS] Sure. I’ll bring the shovel too.
[HARRY] ???
[LOUIS] To shove up your ass of course.
[HARRY] Kinky.
[HARRY] I like.
[HARRY] See you at 6.
Scene 3
[Zayn- Harry Texting Thread]
03/21/14 16:14pm
[HARRY] Help.
[ZAYN] What’s wrong???
[ZAYN] Are you hurt?
[ZAYN] Can I call?
[ZAYN] Allergies?
[HARRY] No. No. I’m fine.
[HARRY] Physically.
[ZAYN] What’s wrong emotionally?
[HARRY] If I continue like this…
[HARRY] I’m going to fall for him.
[HARRY] So hard.
[ZAYN] Who?
[ZAYN] Harry who?
[ZAYN] H?
Valiant
Chapter 57: Valiant
[Tin Roof Bar, Orlando, Countdown to Dawn or Disaster]
9:34pm
SANDY: (all three sitting at a table, drinking, to Harry) “Stop fidgeting so much, bro. You got
something up your ass?”
HARRY: (Louis can’t hold back his laughter, Harry starts laughing too) “Yes, as a matter a fact, I
do.” (Louis explodes in laughter)
SANDY: (confused) “What?”
HARRY: “I’m wearing…” (holds back his chuckles, coughs) “Women’s underwear, which by the
way, how the hell can they do this all day because it is is painful.”
SANDY: (eyes wide) “I’m sorry, you what?”
HARRY: “I’m wea—“
LOUIS: “He has a thong on.” (cackling) “He’s wearing a lacy thong and it’s hilarious.”
SANDY: (pause, blinks) “Why?”
HARRY: “Because Louis said he would if I would—“
LOUIS: (flushed) “Harold!”
SANDY: (turns towards Louis, smiling evilly) “Is that so…?”
LOUIS: (drops his head on the table) “Please, kill me. Did you have to tell him?”
HARRY: “Well, it’s the truth.”
SANDY: (giddy) “Yes, Louis, the truth! Ah. My shitty day just turned around faster than those
merry-go-rounds when the bully kid straps you on and keeps spinning it until you shit your pants!”
LOUIS: (raises his head slightly to look at him in disgust) “This is why they don’t want you in the
cast.”
SANDY: “No, they don’t want me because I’m awesome behind the scenes. Nothing runs without
me. Not everyone wants to be a show-off actor. Some of us are fine being techies.”
HARRY: (more to himself) “Eh, everyone wants to be an actor…”
LOUIS: “Ha! Eat it, nerd. No one will want to go to prom with you.”
HARRY: (again to himself, nodding) “No one. That’s true.”

SANDY: (turns to Harry) “Why are you on his side?”
LOUIS: “Because he wants to go to prom with me. Not you, techie.”
HARRY: “No, I’ll pass on the prom because you look weird in formal attire.” (Louis’ mouth drops
open, Sandy laughs) “It’s because it’s true. Actors get ladies and oscars. Techies get oscars that
everyone mutes the TV on to go make more popcorn, like best sound and best other thing you do
with movies.”
LOUIS: “And you were gonna do film production…”
SANDY: “You wanna do film production?”
HARRY: (blushes, shrugs) “Ye—yeah, kinda…”
SANDY: “I did film in college. But more on the technical side of it—Mistake apparently.”
(chuckles) “What are you into? Directing?”
HARRY: “I was just randomly…I wouldn’t be good at it—Not serious about it...“
LOUIS: “Harry, what are you into, was the question. Let the admission committee decide if you’re
good enough, alright?”
HARRY: (nods, smiles faintly) “Cinematography, ideally. I’m more into uh…culty movies. Weird
ones.”
SANDY: “That’s cool. I could help you scout schools if you want.”
HARRY: “Really?”
SANDY: “Yeah, man. I did a lot of research before going to college so I still have some idea—
Dated maybe but it could help.”
LOUIS: (notices Harry’s paying attention to Sandy now, bends down on his seat) “Then you get
to be a techie like Sandy over here. No more fun in the terrain with me.”
HARRY: (turns toward him, does a double-take when he sees Louis’ shirt riding up his back)
“Uh, what…” (eyeing the waistband of his jeans instinctively) “Are you doing?”
LOUIS: (smirking, under the table, lying) “Tying my shoe?” (biting his lip in amusement) “What
are you doing?”
HARRY: (grins) “Do you want the honest answer or the good boy answer?”
LOUIS: “Mutually exclusive, huh? Give me the first.”
HARRY: (blurts) “I’m checking to see if I can catch a glimpse of your undies now that you’re so
conveniently leaning over with your lovely bum in my line of sight.”
SANDY: (chokes on his drink) “What?!”
LOUIS: (laughing as he straightens up again) “Harry’s dirty. He's a dirty, dirty boy. What can you
do?”
HARRY: (rolling his eyes, teasing) “Louis is subtle.” (sarcastic) “Like a snake.” (Sandy laughs as
Louis blushes) “A snake with a large booty he’s so, so proud of.” (Louis flushes further, busted)
SANDY: “I don’t know if this is just drunk you but Styles, I am liking what I see.”
HARRY: (mimicking him) “Is this kid asking me on a date?”
SANDY: (laughs out loud) “I might just have to do that if you continue like this.”
LOUIS: “Easy there, soldier. Liam has dibs on him first.”
SANDY: “I thought that was you.”
HARRY: (before Louis can speak up) “Oh no, Liam came to his senses much quicker.” (looks at
Louis, smirking) “Louis, here, needs convincing.”
10:20pm
HARRY: (sitting around the table, somewhat drunk, confesses) “I don’t know…I mean, I think
I’m still in love with my ex. I kinda wanna win him back.”
LOUIS: (chokes on his drink, practically spitting it out, in the middle of coughing) “You what
now?”
SANDY: (oblivious) “I know how that story goes, man. I feel for you.”
LOUIS: (cutting him off dismissively) “Yeah, yeah, bitches ain’t shit but hoes and tricks, we
know.” (to Harry, vicious) “Come again, because it sounded a whole lot like you wanna get back
with the person you supposedly are not pining after like a stalker.”
HARRY: (offended) “Huh.” (mocking) “Well, that told me.”
SANDY: (wary) “I fear we have put a lot more pepper in the soup than we originally planned…”
LOUIS: (clipped) “Nope, just enough pepper.”
HARRY: “I don’t know.” (forceful) “I tend to eat my stuff bland.”
SANDY: “Both, both are good. It's a matter of preferance.”
LOUIS: (getting heated) “Too bad, I decided on the menu.”
HARRY: (matching his voice) “It’s not about the menu. The bowls were in front of us and you
didn’t think to ask if I wanted pepper with my soup.”
SANDY: (in the background) “I can’t tell if this is a real fight and I’m confused.”
LOUIS: “If only Harry liked pepper.”
HARRY: “If only Louis knew how to—” (slams his fist on the table) “Politely ask people if they
want pepper.”
SANDY: “Wey-hey, would you look at the time! I think I should be getting home.”
HARRY: (stands up) “Stay a bit longer. I’m going.”
LOUIS: (actually worried) “Where?”
HARRY: “To smoke a ciggie.” (waves his pack at him) “No, I don’t want you to come with like I
don’t want pepper in my soup.” (walks away)
LOUIS: (stunned, recovers) “That was the stupidest fight I’ve ever been in…”
SANDY: (finally lets out a chuckle) “Yeah. Agreed.” (both looking at Harry who’s pacing outside,
kicking at rocks, cigarette in his mouth) “Your boy's a bit of a nutcase.”
LOUIS: (shaking his head slowly) “Yeah.” (fond, smiling) “But it looks good on him. He can pull
it off.”
11:49pm
LOUIS: (walking up to Harry who’s smoking alone outside) “Haz?”
HARRY: “Mhmm? Is Sandy gone?”
LOUIS: “Yup. I think he’s had enough of our crazy asses for a night.”
HARRY: (snorts) “Ya, I bet.”
LOUIS: (quiet) “I need to tell you something.”
HARRY: “Okay…” (slightly worried by the look on Louis’ face) “Is it bad?”
LOUIS: “No, no. Just…might be a tad heavy.”
HARRY: “Alright. Bracing myself then.”
LOUIS: (takes a deep breath) “I might not know everything about you…and I might not know
everything about how things work in the world, especially when it comes to relationships. So I
don’t know if my help is going to get you anywhere or if having me beside you will make things
easier…” (looking at him, genuine) “But you’re my best friend. And that to me means that I will
have your back no matter what. If something is important to you, it’s important to me.”
HARRY: (smiles, extremely touched) “Lou…”
LOUIS: “Not finished, wait.” (pauses to regain his thoughts) “I’m no one to judge. I’m not your
mother. I won’t tell you, you’re making a stupid decision. I won’t keep you from doing it by
grounding you. I’m your best friend. That means if you wanna do something, I’ll do it with you to
the best that I can. Because I trust you and being loyal means—to me at least—that I’m with you
through thick and thin. I’m not half-assed about this. I don’t throw that title around.”
HARRY: (wowed) "I don't either..."
LOUIS: (taking another breath, coughing) “So. With that said…if you wanna get your ex back, I
will help you. If you think that’s what you want, tell me the plan and I’m there.” (lightening up,
under his breath) “I’m especially there if it involves Chipotle first because I’m starving but you
know…”
HARRY: (speechless for a few seconds, trying to find words, wipes at his eyes, chuckles at
himself) “Shit, don’t give me speeches like this when we’re out clubbing.” (laughing, fanning his
eyes) “I’m emotional. People’ll think I’m crazy.”
LOUIS: (grins) “Told you it was heavy.”
HARRY: “I thought you were pregnant, for a second."
LOUIS: (motioning with his head at the people around, as he pulls out his own cigarette) “They
think we’re getting married so…”
HARRY: (snorts) “Do you blame them? We sleep in the same bed and argue over putting ketchup
on the communal fries. Why the hell do we even have communal fries? We order separately.”
LOUIS: (sighs as if explaining stuff to an idiot) “Because…my fries are mine. And your fries are
also mine. Learn, child, learn.”
HARRY: "Yup, we are married."
1:12am
LOUIS: (end of the bar, sitting on the counter, clearly very drunk) “Too drunk already. Should
have eaten more meat.”
HARRY: (in front of him, between his legs, handling the alcohol better, joking) “That’s what she
said!”
LOUIS: (pulls him by the shirt, brings him closer, flush against the counter, faces close) “That
so?”
HARRY: (gasps, stares at Louis’ lips briefly, then looks at his eyes, whispering) “Stop looking at
me like that.”
LOUIS: (barely breathing, also whispering) “Like what?”
HARRY: “Like you’d forgive me if I slipped up right now when we both know you wouldn’t…”
LOUIS: (biting his lip) “How do you know?”
HARRY: (leans closer instinctively, but stops himself in front of Louis’ lips, looks down, winces)
“Because you’re drunk and what kind of asshole takes advantage of his best friend when he’s not
conscious enough to make a proper decision?” (Louis is stunned, Harry touches the back of Louis’
neck, soft, aroused) “I could kiss you right now and you’d kiss back…” (Louis looks away) “But
only because your guard is down and you’re disoriented. That’s messed up. I’d never do that to
you.”
LOUIS: (blushing, nods) “You’re right.
HARRY: “And you’d never forget the utter betrayal of trusting me only to have me use your
weakness to my own benefit… I can’t have that. Our friendship means so much to me. And this…”
(shakes his head, moves away) “It’s just a dumb night. We’re having fun. We’ve drank. It’s normal
to feel close—think irrationally. But I care about you, Lou, and I can’t do this with you.”
LOUIS: (genuine, smiling) “Thank you.”

HARRY: “For what?”
LOUIS: “For sparing me. For not being selfish. For giving me one less thing to hate myself about
the next day.”
HARRY: “You don’t have to thank me. You don’t have to be scared either. Like I said, I feel the
straight in people and never go for it. I’m not a sadist. I know how much that confuses people
when they’re vulnerable. Just because you’re wasted and willing to kiss everyone and their mother
does not mean you are gay for life.”
LOUIS: (chuckles, comforted) “I needed to hear that.”
HARRY: “Sexuality is fluid. One day you like men, one day you like women, most days you like
men, most days you like women, sometimes you like men dressed as women, who cares—like
what you want, when you want. End of.”
LOUIS: (smiling bigger) “That doesn’t seem too bad. Seems kinda…freeing." (looks at him) "Help
me get down?”
HARRY: (walks over, wraps his arms around Louis’ waist, picks him up and sets him on the floor
one arm still around him) “Not to blow out the candles before the song is over but I think it’s time
to sleep.” (looking at him, teasing) “You’re already going to crush my nutsack five times tonight
going to the bathroom let’s not add any more drinks to that.”
LOUIS: (laughs, both walking out the door) “That wouldn’t happen if I slept on the bathroom
side.”
HARRY: “I see what you’re trying to do and it’s a valiant attempt really but I will not be eaten by
the balcony monsters.”
LOUIS: “Come on!”
HARRY: “Nope. They only manage to get to the midway point of the bed. I’m safe on my side.
You, my lady, are the virgin sacrifice so be a cute, little virgin and stop trying to invade.”
LOUIS: "You are never hanging out with Sandy again. He encourages you to think of strange,
extensive metaphors. You both suck at being well-spoken." (afterthought) "Plus, he thinks you like
him. You don't like him. You only like me."
HARRY: (snorts) "That is true. Only you. In the world. Not even myself."
LOUIS: "We have that in common. I like me, you like me, we're married. I mean, the dream,
right?"
Vibe
Chapter 58: Vibe
2:12am
LOUIS: (waiting at the bus station, both sitting down, somewhat drunk) “What’s more stable
friendships or relationships?”
HARRY: (without a second thought) “Friendships. Aways.”
LOUIS: “Is that why you love Zayn more than Ed?”
HARRY: (frowns, confused) “How did you figure that out?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “Isn’t it obvious?”
HARRY: “I don’t know, is it?” (shaking his head, smiling) “Relationships are harder to get right.”
LOUIS: “Why is that?”
HARRY: (turns towards him to explain, grabs Louis’ hand between his own) “Because,
grasshopper, there’s this set of rules, like commandments, of what you should and shouldn’t do in a
relationship. Everyone has one of these but not everyone’s is the same, yet everyone assumes it is.
So everyone goes into a relationship thinking the other person magically knows that watching porn
is breaking one of the rules while the other person just likes porn, you know?”
LOUIS: “You’re not supposed to watch porn when you’re with someone?” (exaggerated, yanking
back to collapse against the bus seat) “That’s it. I’m already undesirable.”
HARRY: (laughs) “No, you can. I mean, you can do whatever. You decide what you want a
relationship to mean and then you explain that to another person and if they agree, or if your rules
match up, or if they’re willing to follow a rule that’s yours even if it’s not theirs, then you have an
agreement. But you have to talk, negotiate. You can’t just expect people to know and then get
furious every time they mess up.”
LOUIS: (taunting) “Sounds like you’re speaking from experience.”
HARRY: “I am.”
LOUIS: “Exclusivity.”
HARRY: “Huh?”
LOUIS: “That’s one of mine, my rules.” (blushes) “Though I haven’t really had a proper
relationship before…I just, I figured I could still contribute.”
HARRY: “You don’t need to have relationships to know what you can and can’t put up with.”
LOUIS: “What’s one of yours?”
HARRY: “Acceptance. I want the person I’m with to know that I’m not textbook perfect and to be
okay with that.”
LOUIS: “Someone that I vibe well with—that gets me almost by instinct.” (snorts) “Won’t bother
me on my off days.”
HARRY: (ping pong-ing off each other) “Ha. I have a lot of off days. And a lot of weird days.
Someone who likes my weird—that’s a huge one. Doesn’t put me down, make me feel alien in my
own relationship.”
LOUIS: (excited) “Yeah, like someone who doesn’t wanna change me. I mean if you wanna date
me, I’m guessing you should already know who I am, what I’m like. I’m not a work in progress for
you to pick up. I’ll improve in my own right.”
HARRY: “But aren’t relationships sort of like investments? Sometimes you might see someone
who has some work to do in one aspect of themselves but you believe they’ll get it done and that
makes them even more impressive.”
LOUIS: (in thought, nods) “Right, but it’s like…” (his time to explain) “Like you walk down the
street, right?” (Harry hums) “And you see they’re building this new complex nearby with what
looks like awesome apartments and it’s in a good spot so you think, hey, that looks like it’s going
to be a great building when it ends. I might need to buy a studio there early before it’s all sold out.”
HARRY: (amused, nodding) “I like that you made this relatable, like studio because I’d never be
able to afford an apartment.”
LOUIS: (laughs out loud) “Exactly. Not with Disney’s wage. Anyhow, what I’m saying is, you
don’t go down the street, see a shady-looking, broken house that’s just sitting there, idle and go,
eh, this house sucks but I could do stuff to it. I could renovate it and spend a lot of effort in it so
maybe some time in the future I can flip it. You don’t go for something just because you believe
you’re god’s gift to humanity and you have the healing touch.”
HARRY: “I had never thought of it that way. Sort of like a savior complex.”
LOUIS: (getting emotional) “Yeah, I’m not some pity case that needs you to knock on my door
and open my eyes to my misery. I won’t give up my ways of life in exchange for yours—even if
yours are better! I don’t need you to change me. You might have it right but your right might not be
my right and maybe I had renovating plans for myself too—what about those? Those could have
worked out. I need you to trust me, not pity me. Think I’m strong enough to get it done on my own,
not weak and in need of help.”
HARRY: (in awe) “Okay, how can you say stuff like this when you’re drunk? Like this is poetry
and I’m here blabbering about watching porn.”
LOUIS: (blushed, flattered) “I have an apartment fetish it seems.”
HARRY: (serious) “Moral of the story: you want to marry an apartment.”
LOUIS: “Yup! Yup. That’s…completely right. Nothing more beyond that.”
HARRY: “Ne plus ultra.”
LOUIS: (surprised) “Ne plus ultra—you son of a gun, where did you learn scholarly latin?”
HARRY: “Oh, come on, give me some credit.”
LOUIS: (suddenly nervous) “Uh…wanna share more of the relationship rules? I liked that
conversation. Made me think. Give me another one of yours. Something you wouldn’t put up
with.”
HARRY: (thinks) “I put up with a lot, honestly, because I’m that type of person in nature. I let
people push me around a little. Maybe that’s the bad thing about me. I’m a rug for the person I
love and I’m fine doing it too because I just look up to them so much so rug-position is perfect for
doing just that, looking up.”
LOUIS: (nudges him) “And you say I’m poetic in the middle of the night.”
HARRY: “I try. On a level from Sandy to you, how could was that?”
LOUIS: “Sandy and a half. No, no, two Sandy-s.”
HARRY: “I’ll take what I can get. At least it’s steadily increasing. I’m like stock that doesn’t fail
you but doesn’t make you rich either.”
LOUIS: “Nope, dropped back to one Sandy.”
HARRY: “Dammit! Should not have gotten greedy.”
LOUIS: (kicking his legs bag and forth) “What about cheating? Is that a no-no?” (to himself) “It
should be. I would get so jealous it’d make me ill if my love was fooling around with someone
else.”
HARRY: “Ah…” (smiles bitterly to himself) “Yeah, well, I don’t know if that would make me a
hypocrite if I said, it’d probably go mad with jealousy.”
LOUIS: “Forget that. Just tell me how you feel about it. If you caught your boyfriend cheating, Ed
for example—“
HARRY: (between a scoff and a snort) “I got extremely territorial of Ed so I don’t know if that’s
the best example.”
LOUIS: “He’s the only one you dated so for all you know it could be over everyone.”
HARRY: “I hope not…” (biting his lip) “God, I so hope not. It was bad. I was…” (shaking his
head) “You have no idea—“
LOUIS: (incredulous) “What did you do, baked them brownies with shit? I can’t imagine you
being a bitch to anyone.”
HARRY: “I was. I definitely was.” (snorts) “I was uh…vicious?”
LOUIS: “Vicious?!” (amused) “You’re a kitten!”
HARRY: “Well, the claws definitely came out when people touched Ed. I don’t know what
exactly was the worse thing either, the jealousy or the fact that I felt like they were disrespecting
me—taunting me, telling me they weren’t scared of what I’d do to them. In hindsight, that was all
probably in my mind. They meant well or were oblivious. But at the time, I fumed. It was like…
Bad Girls Club.”
LOUIS: (glee) “No!”
HARRY: “Yes, it was.” (puts on an exaggerated accent) “I would be like, bitch you think you can
walk up here and flirt with my man. Imma pull your weave out your ass, you skank. As if he’d look
your way what with those fake nails and fake boobs—“ (snapping back to normal) “Oh, I hated
when women flirted with him. Pet. Peeve. I cannot tell you how many times I lost my shit over him
checking out breasts.”
LOUIS: (mocking) “Why you looking at that? Why’s mine not good enough? I have four.”
HARRY: (screeches) “I should have said that! I’d have won.” (pinches Louis’ cheeks) “You
genius devil, you.” (Louis giggles) “But what I actually said was, it’s in your best interest to look
away before I remind you of what you really like by shoving it up your ass tonight.” (explaining) “I
meant my dick.”
LOUIS: (beyond amused) “Yeah, I got it. But if you don’t mind taking me out of the oven, I think
I’m done.”
HARRY: “Why do guys even like breasts? His current girlfriend probably has awesome breasts.
God, I hate him. I’ll never be breast enough for him.”
LOUIS: (laughing) “This cannot be real. If this is real, everything I ever believed about you would
be a lie. You can get real?”
HARRY: “I’ll get real with basic bitches trying to compete with me.”
LOUIS: “Where was all this before?! All this sass and—Jesus Christ, who are you? Who were
you?”
HARRY: (blushes, shrugs) “My self-confidence is as wavy as my hair. One day I’m the shit,
another day I’m shit. It depends on who I’m with too.” (admitting) “You make me feel good about
myself…validate me so a part of me thinks that my thoughts are not that stupid. Before…”
(somewhat sad) “It was hard before. I came out the breakup shattered. Didn’t know which parts of
my identity I wanted to keep since some of them had obviously betrayed me, made me lose the
love of my life, and those parts I never wanted back—I could never forgive. But it was hard
pinpointing which things needed changes.”
LOUIS: “So what? You decided to punish all of them equally?”
HARRY: “Pretty much. Process of elimination. Until I was sure, I couldn’t have any of them
around to screw up any more. It was me and Zayn. I only had this one person in my life now and I
wasn’t gonna lose him.” (confessing) “I was very lonely. It was a difficult time to get through and
I’ll always thank Zayn for really moving me through the motions like a puppet. I wasn’t doing too
well.”
LOUIS: “Which ones were the real evil parts, the bad guys?”
HARRY: (quiet, vulnerable) “Self-confidence was one.”
LOUIS: “Why?”
HARRY: “Because it was thinking I was awesome that got me in trouble. When you think you’re a
catch, you don’t worry about treating people right or putting in effort to keep them around. You get
to the point where you take it for granted that they’ll like you.”
LOUIS: “Is that what happened with Ed?”
HARRY: “Kinda…Ed repeated that he was the lucky one so many times that a part of me thought
losing him won’t hurt much. There would be others lining up and that was not the truth. No one is
going to treat me like he did. I lost him because I was stupid and cocky and I deserved the bucket
of cold water that reality served me afterwards.” (sarcastic, bitter) “Where are all the guys now,
huh? Where’s the line of people dying to be with me?” (pained) “God, I was such an idiot.”
LOUIS: “You were young.”
HARRY: “You’re not denying I was an idiot then.”
LOUIS: “What you did could border that label, yes, but you were young and you didn’t know
better. Without making this mistake, you wouldn’t have understood any of this, how valuable
someone like that really is.”
HARRY: “I’ve lost him. I’ve way lost him.”
LOUIS: “Oh yeah, that one, you fucked up. He’s the one that got away.” (Harry’s mouth falls
open in shock at the tone) “Here it is, Harry. You’re face to face with that fact now. He was an
incredible man. You had the chance to be loved by him. You messed it up. It is gone now. Long
gone. Are you gonna keep dwelling on that or are you gonna tell yourself that it was for the best
because it taught you a valuable lesson. The next incredible man that comes around, and there are
many in the world if you look for them, not wait for them to line up, you’re going to notice and
you’re going to keep.”
HARRY: (taken aback, starstruck) “You’re pretty incredible.”
LOUIS: (smirks) “Don’t let me go then.”
HARRY: (smiles) “I’d never.”
LOUIS: “Let him go.”
HARRY: (looks away, pained, a few seconds of silence go by) “…Alright. Okay…Okay.” (blurts)
“But I still wanna jack off to his voice? Is that illegal? Is something wrong with me? What is
wrong with me?”
LOUIS: (bursts into laughter) “I can’t handle you. You reek. You’re in heat.” (composes himself)
“But that sounds fair to me. You gotta jack off to something, right?”
HARRY: “I could jack off to you.”
LOUIS: (points at the ground) “Oh, oh, careful there!” (turns towards Harry, loud, serious)
“Careful.”
HARRY: (worried) “What?”
LOUIS: (cracks a smile) “You almost tripped over that line. Barely missed it. Could have fallen on
your face, Harry, you gotta open your eyes more.”
HARRY: (catching on, laughing) “Jacking off to Ed, it is.”

LOUIS: (teasing) “Same.” (Harry laughs) “Let’s make it a double sesh. Or triple, I’ll bring Sandy
too.”
HARRY: (fond, sighing, staring at him) “You…are so cool.”
LOUIS: “Ha! Chill, fangirl.”
HARRY: “So cool.” (exaggerated sigh) “God, marry me, Tommo.”
LOUIS: “Get in line, Styles. It starts over there and loops around McDonalds. Bring me some
chicken tenders when you’re at the drive through and I might consider letting you get a VIP fast
pass.”
HARRY: (mimicking tears of pride, lips pursed) “So fucking cool.”

Vermillion
Chapter 59: Vermillion
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 8:41pm, Harry Edward Steamy]
ED: (on the phone) “So things with diva boy are good?”
HARRY: (laying in bed in a t-shirt and boxers) “Yeah, awesome. He’s good. Fun. We’re good.”
ED: “You don’t sound too excited.”
HARRY: “It’s a struggle too. It’s good but it’s a struggle.”
ED: “Why? What’s the issue?”
HARRY: “I’m horny all the time.” (laughs) “Huge problem, right? First world problem.”
ED: “All the time, eh?”
HARRY: “Non-stop. Sometimes he gives me boners. Sometimes I do it to myself. It’s frustrating,

being around him. He flirts a lot to get me flustered—he always looks good—it’s just frustrating
—” (chuckles) “I find myself coming back home, stressed—not knowing how to relieve myself.
Torturous.”
ED: (laughing) “It’s that bad? Struggle's almost poetic.”
HARRY: “Mhmm. I wish I wasn’t so into him physically; this friendship would be easier. He’s
absolutely stunning and I can’t help checking him out.”
ED: “He’s boner hot then?”
HARRY: “Oh, yeah. Boner hot.”
ED: (amused) “Ha! With how big you are, must be hard to hide. Hard--get it? It's funny because--”
HARRY: "I get it." (fond) "But I love when you explain it to me anyway."
ED: (indulging him) "It's funny because boners are hard and hard is an adjective that means
difficult so it's like a pun."
HARRY: (smiles to himself) "I get it. It's funny."
ED: "How do you manage it?"
HARRY: “I tuck. I always tuck when I’m around him in preparation. Don’t wanna freak him out.”
ED: (truly innocent) “Are you tucked right now?”
HARRY: (gruff) “No…but I’m half-hard.”
ED: (audible breath hitch before recovering) “Liar.”

HARRY: “You know I’m not lying.”
ED: “Thinking about him…?”
HARRY: “That. And, like I said, I’m always horny these days.”
ED: (hesitation) “You horny now?”
HARRY: “Very.”
ED: (gulps, chuckles airily, tries to ease the tension) “Should I let you get to work then?”
HARRY: (sexy) “Or you could stay. It’d be much easier...” (hoarse) "Much better."
ED: (under his breath) “F*ck.”
HARRY: (bites his lip at the sound, heart racing) “You know…” (whispered, his palm sliding
into his boxers) “I’m way past shame now. That’s how far he’s pushed me.” (eyes-lidded) “Not to
mention the fact that he made a joke yesterday..." (touching himself lazily) "About jacking off to
your voice…” (dreamy, almost a sigh, really hard now) “Hot, right?”
ED: “I—I should—I—“
HARRY: “Go then…” (moan) “And miss the fun.”
ED: “Don’t do this…”
HARRY: “Hang up, Teddy.” (low) “But do me a favor before?” (closes his eyes, gets himself
comfortable) “Tell me how much you’d wanna f*ck me if you didn’t have that bimbo girlfriend of
yours.”
ED: (shudders, half-purred) “Harry…”
HARRY: (moves his hand faster, lip bit) “Say my name again.”
ED: (amazed, turned on) “You’re really doing this? This isn’t a joke?”
HARRY: (chuckle, not stopping) “Way past shame.”
ED: “How much do you need it?”
HARRY: “Bad.”
ED: (succumbing, guilty, aroused) “How much do you need me?”
HARRY: (voice cracking, hips jerking) “So bad.”
ED: “Shit. Shit. Hell.” (screechy) “What am I doing? This is wrong...”
HARRY: (out of breath, almost more excited hearing that) “I won’t tell. One time thing. I won’t
tell. Just get me there this once, please.” (whiny) “I’m begging. Hearing you is so much better than
random guys humping, and you know how much I love that— but you get me there so much faster.
I like you more--I'm crazy about you--I'm begging.”
ED: (struggling) “I can’t listen to you without wanting it—“
HARRY: “There’s nothing wrong—“
ED: “Yes, there is. There is. You’re my ex. Not mine." (Harry whimpers 'please') "We're not
together anymore. I can't think of you this way. I shouldn’t want to jerk off to you moaning my
name.”
HARRY: “But you do, right?” (getting louder, wilder) “This is driving you nuts. You wanna
touch yourself. I’m touching myself right now. It feels good.”
ED: “I need to hang up.”
HARRY: (speeding up) “So close, please. I can speed up.”
ED: “Harry—“
HARRY: (ignoring him)“Oh, yeah, keep saying my name, and it’ll be over soon.”
ED: “We can’t—“
HARRY: (in his own world) “Say you want me—just—“ (moans) “It’ll do the trick. Lie to me—
just once, please.”
ED: “I—I—I need to stop.” (Harry hisses) “Harry.” (Harry hums, rambling under his breath about
being close) “God, Harr, please, baby.”
HARRY: (thrusting into his hand, whimpering every pump) “Almost, I can get there…Oh!”
(growled) “Please. Ah, yes. I wanna be your baby again!”
ED: (brokenly) “Harry…wait, Harry. Stop! Stop.”
HARRY: “Can’t—“
ED: (louder, demanding) “Stop it right now!”
HARRY: (forces his hand away, cries softly once) “Hurts. Lemme finish at least. This is just
cruel.”
ED: “Just a second, I need—listen to me.”
HARRY: “Yeah? What’s—“
ED: (panicked) “I don’t want you coming yet.”
HARRY: “Why?”
ED: (low, shamed) “…I want to hear more.”
HARRY: (shivering in arousal, his stomach is wet in precum) “Yeah? You’ll make it slow? You’ll
make me beg?”
ED: (more to himself) “You love begging.”

HARRY: (on cue) “Please.”
ED: “One time, right? Just once. No more. Once and we never speak of this again.”
HARRY: (smiling, giddy) “Once. Come on, big boy. Once. For old time’s sake.”
ED: “You won’t tell Zayn?”
HARRY: “Never. Secret. Never. You have my word.”
ED: “Alright, babe. Just once.”
HARRY: (lewd) “Can I touch myself, Teddy? Can I now?”
ED: “No, shit, no.” (shuffling heard) “Okay, damn. F*ck it. We're all going to hell anyway.”
(breathy) “Go slow. Need to catch up.”
HARRY: (grabs himself again, moves up and down slowly) “You hard?”
ED: “Rock hard. What did you expect, putting on that kind of a show?”
HARRY: (hums) “Wish I was there.”
ED: (grunts) “What would you do?”
HARRY: “Oh, what first you’d have to ask.”
ED: (curses) “Sit on me?”
HARRY: (arches off the bed) “Straight to the action, huh? No foreplay.”
ED: (equally breathy) “No, no. Foreplay. Foreplay is good—oh. Foreplay—Your mouth.”
HARRY: (hums, satisfied) “What about my mouth?”
ED: “F*cking love it. Soft lips. Beautiful eyes. Touching your hair, feeling you go deeper. Oh.”
HARRY: “I miss tasting you.” (Ed moans) “Making you moan like that.” (Ed whispers his name)
“Seeing you—“
ED: “You slept with anyone else since?”
HARRY: “No one.”
ED: (horny) “Tight then. Untouched?”
HARRY: “Oh god, can I?” (breath hitching) “Can I?”
ED: “What does baby want?”
HARRY: (small, brokenly) “More.”
ED: “How many?”

HARRY: “One, I promise.”
ED: “One?”
HARRY: “Please.” (sobbing) “One.”
ED: “Baby always says one at first…”
HARRY: “One is gonna do it this time—So close…so close.”
ED: (snarled) “You drive me insane. I'll never get over you at this rate..." (breath hitches) "Your
voice—ugh!” (gruff) “Do it.” (gasping) “One.”
HARRY: (sighing) “Yes. Yes…” (uses the other hand to finger himself, bites his lip to muffle his
scream)
ED: (chuckles, aroused) “You are horny. Never heard you so needy.”
HARRY: (in between mewls) “You kept me, oh, well—uh, well-f*cked—“ (Ed groans)
“Satisfied. Always.”
ED: (audibly lustful) “Never kept baby waiting.”
HARRY: (loud) “Never—oh!”
ED: (knowingly) “You have two in.”
HARRY: (whimpering) “No!”
ED: “Yes, you do.” (taunting) “Hmm...Baby lied. Naughty baby.”
HARRY: (rocking against his hand on the bed) “How do you do that?”
ED: “I know you. I've kissed every part of you." (Harry sighs) "I know exactly what gets you
where.” (demanding) “Pull out. Completely. Liars don’t get to have fun.”
HARRY: "But..." (babbling, pouting) "I just got over-excited." (slowly flattens his hand on the
sheets before gripping them, breath hitching) “I stopped.” (still working himself with the other
hand) “For you—for daddy.”
ED: (keens) “Good boy.” (hot) “Good baby.”
HARRY: “I miss you—I miss this. I want you here.”
ED: (breathless) “I wish I was there too, baby.”
HARRY: (eyes shut, squirming, pleading) “Please!”
ED: “Close?”
HARRY: (strangled) “Mhmm.”
ED: “I’m seconds—ah, shit—seconds…” (moans) “Wish I could fill you up—No, not that--Hold
you, kiss you...Hear you call my name when you get there...“ (louder moan, voice cracking) “Oh,
my precious baby—“
HARRY: (wrecked, convulsing on the bed) “Ed, please, please, please, please, please!” (cums
intensely, shooting all over his chest, moaning, quivering, sweaty, flushed)
ED: "Zayn is going to assassinate me."
HARRY: (sated, breathes heavily) “Yeah…?”
ED: “Mhmm…”
HARRY: “Do you hate me?”
ED: “I want to.”
HARRY: (smiles lazily, takes off his shirt, wipes his stomach, throws it on the other side of the
bed, slumps down again) “I wanna say sorry. I should say sorry. I owe it to you.”
ED: “But you’re not going to.”
HARRY: “I’m selfish.”
ED: “Horribly.”
HARRY: “And happy. For the first time in weeks, I feel so…” (yawns) “So relaxed…” (cuddles
his pillow) “I know it might ruin whatever we were building on but…but I can’t apologize yet
because I loved every second of it—hearing you—uh, I’m still coming down, was that good. My
legs shook. I forgot I did that.”
ED: (without thinking) “Loved when you did that—Told me I did well.” (shakes himself out of it)
“I don’t want you to apologize. I knew what was happening and let you—went along…came…”
(sighs) “Shit, Har, this isn't good.”
HARRY: “Shit is right.”
ED: (insecure) “You still find me hot?”
HARRY: (chuckles bitterly) “That’s what worries you? Out of all the problems with this, you’re
fixating on whether I find you attractive?”
ED: “Apparently that will forever be a weakness of mine, thinking you’re forcing it, trying to not
let you see the extra rolls of fat, wishing I was good enough for you—” (voice breaking slightly)
“Even when we’re not together…”
HARRY: (somber) “I find you sexy as hell, Ed. You’re too good for me.”
ED: (unconvinced) “Thanks.”
HARRY: (sighs, sad, guilty) “I am sorry…for what it’s worth. I shouldn’t have…I’m…I shouldn’t
have…I feel bad. This was pathetic on my part.” (emotional) “I’m taking you from someone that
deserves you—makes you happy.” (voice cracking) “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done this.”
ED: “I wasn’t in a hurry to stop. We both had a moment, for old time's sake, like you said. To get
it out of our system. No need to make things worse now. I’m glad you’re feeling better. I am too, to
be honest. Finale. Closure. We both needed it. So let’s just—it was one time. Let’s just go to bed
without a fight, please. I can't handle anymore of--”
HARRY: "Me?"
ED: (sighs) "Of the kind of feelings you bring out in me, whether that is lust, worry or affection."
HARRY: (small, clutching his pillow to his body) “Teddy?” (whispered) “I miss you.”
ED: “I miss you too. You’ll find someone. If not him, someone else. You won’t be alone anymore,
Harry. I promise.”
HARRY: (sniffling) “Okay…And you’ll be there until? So I’m not alone?”
ED: “Yes. I won’t leave until you have someone to hug you tight and tell you all this. I'll help
you.” (Harry sobs his name) “Don’t cry, love. Don’t cry. Everything’s okay.”
HARRY: (confessing finally) “I don’t wanna like him this much. I'm trying to forget but nothing
works... I don’t wanna get hurt again.”
ED: (sighs) “He likes you too, darling.”
HARRY: “But not like I do…” (crying softly) “And I’m trying to be normal and joke about it like
it’s nothing…But it's not. I can't...I just don’t know what to do.”
ED: “Stay positive. It’ll get better, I’m confident. Eventually, everyone falls for you, H. You’re
irresistible.”
Scene 2
[Louis’ Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 9:11pm, Little Hero 6]
LOUIS: (phone between his ear and shoulder, still playing on his Xbox) “Hello?”
HARRY: “Hey, Lou…Uh, are you busy right now? What are you doing?”
LOUIS: “Saving the world, one Fifa game at a time. Why?”
HARRY: “I was wondering if you…” (long pause)
LOUIS: “If I what?" (sarcastic) "Building up the suspense, I see. Oooh, fun."
HARRY:(sighs, with difficulty) “I’m not feeling well right now—“
LOUIS: “You sick or something? You have the herp?”
HARRY: “No, just…” (voice cracks) “Just something happened and I need someone here… If you
can…”
LOUIS: (worry concealed under indifference) “Are you crying?”
HARRY:(embarrassed) “A little?”
LOUIS: “So it’s bad then?”

HARRY: “Ye—yeah… Please, come?”
LOUIS: “Fine, fine. I’ll be right there, you big baby.” (Harry inhales sharply) “Wait for me,
aight?”
HARRY:(sad) “Yeah, okay.” (changing his mind) “If you’re busy you don’t have to—“
LOUIS: “Wait for me, I said.” (hangs up)
Scene 3
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 9:18pm, Banana Baby]
LOUIS: (Harry opens the door, Louis is standing there, lots of random things in his arms) “I
didn’t know what you needed so…”
HARRY: (eyes wide) “So you brought everything?”
LOUIS: “No…Only the important stuff. Let me in?”
HARRY: (steps back in the room, Louis follows, putting the stuff at the edge of the bed as Harry
slumps in it face first) “Thanks for coming…”
LOUIS: “What happened?”
HARRY: (muffled in the mattress) “I was bad.”
LOUIS: “Funny bad or real bad?”
HARRY: “Real bad…”
LOUIS: “What did you do?”
HARRY: (flushing, uncomfortable) “Something horrible…Embarrassing…I hate myself. I

shouldn't be telling you this but I can't live with it--And I can't keep secrets from you--Not
anymore. I'm too scared of the result so I'll tell you because I can't have you mad. That'd break me.
So I'm telling you...even though I shouldn't because it's bad, unforgivable really.”
LOUIS: “Did you kill someone because if so, we need to put him in the bathtub asap to drain him
of blood so there’s no evidence left behind when we drag him out the fire staircase to the recycling
bins…”
HARRY: (raises his head to look at Louis questionably) “What?”
LOUIS: “I’m just saying. I'm too pretty for jail and you, bud, are definitely to pretty for it too. So
bathtub.”
HARRY: (head back down) “No, I didn't kill someone."
LOUIS: "Was hoping it'd be Zayn."
HARRY: "Louis!"
LOUIS: "What? I can dream, can't I?"

HARRY: "Something worse.”
LOUIS: (jumping on the bed beside him) “Worse than murder? Now you have me interested.
Alright, hit me. I'm ready.”
HARRY: (points without raising his eyes) “That.”
LOUIS: (looks around confused at first) “What?” (notices the t-shirt, rumpled on the bed) “This?”
HARRY: “Yes.”
LOUIS: “The t-shirt?” (picks it up) “What about—“ (notices it’s wet, lets go of it immediately) “Is
that—that is. Oh god.” (disgusted, making gagging sounds) “Oh dear lord—I’m infected. You did
have the herp and now I have it too! I can't touch anything with this hand!"
HARRY: (mumbled) “Not helping.”
LOUIS: “You tricked me, Satan. It was a trap!”
HARRY: “I was trying to explain…”
LOUIS: “You came on a shirt? That’s it? You called me down here in this mock crisis, made me
uproot my entire life and drag it flights of stairs because you dirtied a shirt?! You know you can
wash those, right? Cum does not stain forever. Trust me, I was a middle-schooler once and have
tested this theory multiple times. It cleans off.”
HARRY: (chuckles before sobering up again, curling on his side, small) “I had phone sex with
Ed.”
LOUIS: (shocked, mouth open, trying compose himself, nodding slowly) “Ah…”
HARRY: “Yeah… Because I’m a bad person.” (sniffling) “And now I’m ruining his life again by
destroying another of his relationships. He’s finally happy and I’m being selfish, taking that away
because I’m not happy. I want him happy but I can't seem to get my shit together long enough to let
him be that.”
LOUIS: (sighs) “Well… Was he mad?”
HARRY: “No… But he didn’t want to do it at first… I pressured him. He’s a good person. He
wouldn’t have done it if it weren't for me.”
LOUIS: “Harry, you’re a good person too. And last time I checked, it takes two people to have
phone sex. If he really felt pressured, he’d have hung up. There are no consequences to that. He
always had that choice and didn’t take it. You're both at fault--if you can call it that.”
HARRY: “I don’t even know why I did it…I was lonely, I guess.” (beating himself up, tears
sliding down his cheeks) “I have to tell Zayn and he will hate me and Ed will hate me for telling
him but I can't lie to Zayn because Zayn's...Zayn's...everything, I can't lie to him. They'll both hate
me—I’ll die if Zayn hates me.” (burrowing in the pillow, swallowing sobs) “I can’t lose him…”
(starting to panic) “I can’t live without him!” (breathing faster) “I don’t know what to do—Why
did I do it?! I don’t—I shouldn’t!”
LOUIS: (looks at him sadly, soft) “Haz…” (slowly makes his way to Harry, lays down, hugs Harry
to himself awkwardly, clear he’s not used to it) “It’s okay... Because I hate Zayn back...” (Harry
snorts before hyperventilating some more) "It'll be fine."
HARRY: “How?!”
LOUIS: “He won’t hate you.”
HARRY: “You don’t know him…”
LOUIS: “I don’t but I do know that beef jerky cares about you so, so much.” (caressing Harry’s
hair) “And he’s as scared of losing you as you are of losing him. He might be mad for a bit… But
it’ll be okay.” (light) “And if he’s mad then I have more of you to myself so ha-ha! All this was
planned.”
HARRY: (chuckles in between tears, looks at him) “Do you hate me?”
LOUIS: (amused) "For what? Finding your ex hot? Is that even legal for me to hate you for that?"
HARRY: "You hate me for wearing brown boots with black shirts..."
LOUIS: "Because that's just wrong."
HARRY: (scared) "Will you look at me differently now?"
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes) “I told you…” (looks at him, both close, intimate) “We’re best friends.”
(whispered) “Nothing will change that.”
HARRY: (bites his lip, eyes lidding instinctually) “I hope not…”
LOUIS: (pauses, feels the tension, risks) “It’ll always be good between us…” (rare insecurity)
“Right?”
HARRY: (breathy) “Right.” (lovingly touching Louis’ cheek with his thumb, cupping his face,
thinking out loud) “Because I’d never do anything to lose you…”
LOUIS: (gulps) “Go—good.” (startles awake, composes himself, pulling away) “I uh I brought
you some stuff…” (uncomfortable, trying to be casual again) “To cheer you up and all…”
HARRY: (sitting up, wiping his eyes) “Like what?”
LOUIS: “Well, the Xbox, because I wasn’t going anywhere without it…And this sweater of mine
that’s big enough to fit you…” (hands over the sweater to Harry) “And this…”
HARRY: (wide-eyed, overjoyed) “Banana!”
LOUIS: (gives it to him, fond) “You love bananas.”
HARRY: (looking at the banana longingly) “Banana…”
LOUIS: “Don’t start cuddling it now.”
HARRY: (rubs it against his face, talking to it) “I shall eat you right now!”
LOUIS: (laughing, walking towards the TV to connect the Xbox) “It’s delighted to hear that.”
HARRY: (shuffling himself in the sweater, snuggles it against his chest, visibly happy) “Can I
keep this?”
LOUIS: “Well, it’s one of my favorites…” (Harry pouts) “Are you gonna wear it?”
HARRY: “All the time! It'll be one of my favorites.”
LOUIS: (smiles) “Keep it then.” (sits back on the bed with controllers in his hands) “Wanna
play?”
HARRY: “You play.”
LOUIS: (leans against the headrest, starting the game) “What will you do then?”
HARRY: (shy) “This.” (cuddles next to him, head in Louis’ lap, looking at the screen, both hands
holding the banana, mouth full of it) “Play now. I watch and fall asleep.” (rubs his cheek against
Louis' thigh) "So soft."
LOUIS: (looks down at him for a few seconds, shakes his head finally, smile on his face) “That’s
all it took?”
HARRY: “I like bananas…” (to himself) “And you…”
LOUIS: (teasing) “Part of me thinks you faked crying so I’d feel bad and come sleep with you.”
HARRY: (grinning) “Guilty.” (frowns adorably) “But not faking because I was actually sad.”
(softening) “But it’s okay because no matter what I’ll have you.”
LOUIS: “Yup.”
HARRY: “Even when I’m bad.”
LOUIS: “Oh, I love when you’re bad.”
HARRY: “But I don’t want to be bad anymore.”
LOUIS: “Eh, I guess I’ll learn to love that other side too…”
HARRY: (smacks Louis' thigh, Louis chuckles) “Sleep here tonight?”
LOUIS: (playing and talking at the same time) “Ha! Now that my Xbox is here, don’t think I’m
ever leaving.”
Vortex
Chapter 60: Vortex
Scene 1
[Simba’s Cub-house Childcare, Walt Disney World in Florida, 5:55pm, Let's Get One Thing
Straight--Not You]
ELEANOR: (cleaning up some toys, casually bringing it up) “So you haven’t been around in a
while...”
LOUIS: (other side of the room) “What do you mean? I was here yesterday with Elise and Amy.”
ELEANOR: “No, I mean…” (giving him a look) “Around, around.”
LOUIS: “You mean we haven’t hooked up in a while?”
ELEANOR: “Exactly that. Found someone else?”
LOUIS: “I’m glad we can talk about this so openly.”
ELEANOR: (shrugs) “Should I have sent a Hallmark card?” (mocking) "Where is the sex?"
LOUIS: (chuckles) “Not really. It’s just been complicated finding time.”
ELEANOR: (smiles knowingly) “Since you spend so much of it with Harry?”
LOUIS: (picking up a few toys, walking them to the side) “The only reason I spend so much time
with him is because I’m trying to make up for lost time. I owe it to him after pulling that stunt.”
ELEANOR: “The only reason? That was literally months ago.”
LOUIS: (snappy, touchy) “I like hanging out with him. He's my best friend and I want to spend as
much time as possible by his side. Is this new? Does this bother you? Should I be reporting to you
now? Are you clocking in my free hours? Because before it was Zayn and before that, Niall and I
swear to god, I think it's legal for me to want to hang out with my best friend.”
ELEANOR: “I was just asking, sheesh. Don’t get so defensive. I wasn't reading you your Miranda
rights.”
LOUIS: (high-pitched) "I just don't see how this has to do with you."
ELEANOR: "Again, just asking..." (long silence, both work on their opposite ends, awkward)
LOUIS: (speaking up) “I can come over tonight if you’re free.”
ELEANOR: “If you want. I’m not here to draft you to Nam.”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “Sure. I’ll stop by.”
ELEANOR: (dry) “Wow, you’re starting to sound more enthusiastic about Disney than sex. That’s
saying something.”
LOUIS: (frustrated again) “I said I’ll stop by. What do you want me to do? Jump in the air like
I’ve won the lottery?”
ELEANOR: “Louis, I’m serious, this isn’t a requirement in our friendship. I was simply
wondering.”
LOUIS: “So you don’t want me to come or what? Make up your mind and tell me because I don’t
play these games. You want to have sex, we’ll have sex. You don’t want to have sex, we won’t. It
doesn’t have to be ambiguous.”
ELEANOR: “No one's playing any games. I’m just asking you to think if this is really what you
want.”
LOUIS: “Does it matter?”
ELEANOR: “Uh, yes? You shouldn’t have sex with me if you don’t want to.”
LOUIS: “I don’t mind sex. If it’s there, it’s there. Not a necessity, not a burden. Just sex.”
ELEANOR: “But you’d rather be spending that time with Harry?”
LOUIS: “He’s with Zayn tonight so I’m alone anyway.”
ELEANOR: “Ah, so that’s why you’re so willing.”
LOUIS: (bristling) “What are you trying to say?”
ELEANOR: “I’m not your first choice, none of us are, and we’re fine with that yet you still get so
upset when we point it out as if it is a big secret that you like him way more than the rest of us.”
LOUIS: “Why does anyone feel the need to point it out in the first place? Does it need to be
discussed openly who I favor? It is what it is.”
ELEANOR: “So you’re not denying it?”
LOUIS: “Eleanor.”
ELEANOR: “Is this progress, I hear?”
LOUIS: “Why do you care?!”
ELEANOR: “I’m helping you help yourself.”
LOUIS: “Don’t. I don’t need your help.”
ELEANOR: (sighs) “It’s easier to talk to someone about these things. You don’t do it with Niall
so I thought I’d try.”
LOUIS: “Why would I tell you stuff I’m not telling my oldest friend?”
ELEANOR: “Because I’m a girl and you’re scared of guy judgment.”

LOUIS: “Niall wouldn’t judge me. And what the hell is ‘guy judgment’ anyway?”
ELEANOR: “Guy judgment refers to the obscene amount of respect you have for an opinion that
comes from a male, one of your bros.”
LOUIS: “Is this going to be about me being a misogynist again? Because I’m not and I'm getting
tired of having to defend that.”
ELEANOR: “No, it’s not about that. It’s not that you respect women any less. You just stress out
when it comes to men, some men, men you find cool. You want to impress them. These men
subconsciously decide right and wrong for you. You idolize them.”
LOUIS: “Excuse me, but am I being charged for this therapy session?”
ELEANOR: “No. It’s free, which is why you should take advantage of it.”
LOUIS: “I care about my friends’ opinion of me. Is that rare?”
ELEANOR: (sighs) “I’m just advising you to choose those friends carefully. We’re all human and
as such, we can all be wrong. So it’s important that you recognize that and that you’re comfortable
saying stuff you assume other guys would not accept.”
LOUIS: (uncomfortably quiet) “Like what for example?”
ELEANOR: “Like ‘the only reason I don’t spend all my time with Harry is because I don’t wanna
seem desperate or dependent but if I didn’t have to worry about that, I’d be with him every second I
could spare because he makes me so, so happy and I feel like a better person with him.’”
LOUIS: (stunned, blushes immediately) “I—that’s not true.”
ELEANOR: “I was giving an example.”
LOUIS: “The example is not true. I’m not desperate. We’re friends. I’m happy with him yes but
I’m not—he’s not the end all be all. I don’t need be around him all the time. That’s a choice I’m
making. I can be on my own too.”
ELEANOR: “You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone, not even yourself. Do what feels best.
You’re your own worst judge. The moment you start thinking about how well things are going,
you sabotage yourself.”
LOUIS: “If the goal is for me not to think about it, why are you making me think about it? You
wanna sabotage me? Is my sex that good?”
ELEANOR: “No. I mean, it’s average but I won’t die without it. I can find someone else. That’s
why it works between us. We’re ambivalent about hooking up.”
LOUIS: (rubbing his arm, looking down) “Ambivalent, that’s a good word.”
ELEANOR: (concerned) “You look…troubled. Are we no longer on the same page?”
LOUIS: “No, we are. Completely.”
ELEANOR: “Then what?”

LOUIS: “I don’t think we should be.”
ELEANOR: “What do you mean? You want us fighting and pining?” (joking) “I didn’t know my
nagging was that good.”
LOUIS: “Isn’t that what others do? Don’t they all say friends with benefits gets complicated? That
you get too attached?”
ELEANOR: “All those things aren’t things I want so I’m confused as to why they are worrying
you.” (lost) “Do you want it to get complicated?”
LOUIS: “I’m not worried, just curious. It’s curious that I don’t get attached to people. I think
about that at times.”
ELEANOR: “You don’t get attached to me or your one night stands—some people, not all. You
get attached to others. You’re attached to Niall and Harry and Luke. You value your mates. You
pour all your emotional energy in them. I don’t see anything strange about that.”
LOUIS: “With how you phrased it, I’ll be having friends all my life—“
ELEANOR: “That’s bad?”
LOUIS: “—And no significant other. I’ll sit there and watch all my mates get married and find
someone that automatically will be more important to them than I am. Eventually, they will all
have other duties and I’ll be there, pretty alone, wishing I could do that too." (sighing) "When you
think of it that way, a couple of bad one night stands you thought would stick around are nothing.
I’d rather get hurt a few times than never have anything worth hurting over to begin with because
you know what hurts most? Loneliness. I see how pained Harry is over Ed, how much he still
cares, and it's... Damn, it's beautiful to have something so strong. Sure, it hurts--I know he struggles
sometimes but... I just wonder..." (trailing off) "What it must have been like for someone to have
become such a big part of you." (shaking his head) "And I'll never have that. Not at this rate."
ELEANOR: (smiles sadly) “You were not born without the ability to attach to women, Louis. You
just haven’t met the right woman yet.”
LOUIS: (snaps) “Cliche. If I’m taking the time to listen to your advice, the least you could do is
give me honest, original thoughts. Something you really believe.”
ELEANOR: (rolling her eyes) “Alright. People go through phases. Right now you’re trying to
love yourself so all your affection gets wasted there. When that gets easier, you’ll have enough left
over to devote to someone else in your life. Simply put, you’re not ready to be romantically
involved with someone now but that doesn’t predict the future. These things change." (nudging
him) "You’ll be falling in love in no time then I’ll have to hear you whine about how you never
wanted this. And I’ll say you did, you asked for it. And you’ll curse the day we had this talk.”
LOUIS: (half-smile, relieved) “You would be saying I told you so in that situation. That is so
you.”
ELEANOR: “And it’s so you to put on a Shakespeare soliloquy every time something confuses
you.”
LOUIS: “I think that last monologue came out of your mouth.”

ELEANOR: “Well, I feel the need to step up my game around you.”
LOUIS: “Still thinking you’ll be me at some point.” (shaking his head) “Hopeless.”
Scene 2
[Eleanor’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 8:35pm, Sleepover!]
LOUIS: (bursts out laughing, rolls off from on top of Eleanor, lays on the bed, face down) “I
can’t.”
ELEANOR: (laying on her back, beside him) “What’s going on? What’s funny?”
LOUIS: (still chuckling) “First time I told Harry about this, the boxers thing, he compared it to
wack-a-mole and now I cannot think of anything else.”
ELEANOR: (giggling, rolling her eyes) “Now I’m going to be thinking about it.”
LOUIS: “It’s strange. I’ve hung out with him so much that every single thing leads to a Harry
story.” (raises his chest up, head on his hands) “Sometimes my own mind becomes annoying. I
have to tell it to stop with the Harry stories.”
ELEANOR: (smiling, pulls herself so she’s leaning on the pillows) “How many Harry stories does
it exactly tell?”
LOUIS: “Too many. I’m either with him a lot or my Harry memory is very good, because I
remember the smallest details about him.”
ELEANOR: “Sounds like you spend quite a lot of time obsessing over him.”
LOUIS: “I can’t even deny that because I do. Unwillingly, mind you.”
ELEANOR: (sitting up, giddy) “Tell me about the most embarrassed you've seen him.”
LOUIS: (raising an eyebrow) “I thought we were having sex?”
ELEANOR: “This is much more interesting.”
LOUIS: “Wow, I’m hurt.”
ELEANOR: “Sleepover time.” (jumps up from the bed) “Let’s paint each other’s nails!”
LOUIS: (lets his head fall on the mattress) “I’m ruined.”
ELEANOR: “Oh please, you weren’t even hard. This will be much more therapeutic.” (shows him
a nail polish bottle) “How’s peach?”
LOUIS: (mock sobbing on the bed) “Peach! That’s not even a color. Louis, escape while you still
can.”
ELEANOR: “If you let me paint your nails, I’ll curl your hair.”
LOUIS: “How did you know I wanted to do that?”

ELEANOR: “Liam told me.”
LOUIS: “How does Liam know that?”
ELEANOR: “Niall told him.”
LOUIS: “I’m finished. I’m ruined.”
ELEANOR: “Should I heat the curler?”
LOUIS: “I want a massage too.” (Eleanor squeaks, running to the bathroom) “Foot massage!”
ELEANOR: “Whatever princess wants.”
LOUIS: (wailing) "No one can know about this. If people ask, I made good, long sex to you."
ELEANOR: "Oh yeah, of course. And all that manly, bro stuff."
LOUIS: (grinning) "Exactly. No polish and no peaches."
Scene 3
[Outside Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 1:35am, Cream Peach-stickles]
HARRY: (opening the door, sleepy) “Louis?”
LOUIS: (slurring, practically falling over) “I curls my hair for ya…” (stumbles sideways, catches
himself on the door frame) “Oh woah, spinning already...” (balanced) “And my nails are peaches
now.” (shows him his hands, loses balance again, stumbles) "I made pretty for you."
HARRY: (amused, biting his lip, trying to not laugh) “I see that…”
LOUIS: (tries to strike a model pose) “You like?”
HARRY: (bursting out laughing) “I like.”
LOUIS: (chuckling as well) “El helped…She also shared her wine.” (grabs for him to hold
himself) “Now we’re the same.” (hugs him) “Curly, curly, curly.” (pulls his face away from
Harry's chest, looks at Harry seriously, raises his hand to reach for Harry's face) "Wait a
second...Let me try something..."
HARRY: (holding his breath) "What are you..."
LOUIS: (grabs one of Harry's curls and touches it with one of his own, screams in glee) "Our
curls are making curl love!"
HARRY: (blinking in amusement) "That didn't go as expected... It went better."
LOUIS: (giggles, hugs Harry again) "You like me like a lot." (pause, then mumbles) "How much
do you like me?"
HARRY: (grinning) "Like a lot."
LOUIS: (smiling, all tiny and giggly) "I like that."

HARRY: (hugs him back, rocking them sideways) “I leave you for one evening and this is what
you do?”
LOUIS: (mumbled against Harry’s neck, grinning) “That’s why you must never leave me.”
HARRY: (laughing, kisses the top of his head) “Deal.”
LOUIS: (screeches) "Don't put kiss-spit on my hair! Water ruins it!"
HARRY: "Sorry, sorry." (pushes Louis' bangs away softly, kisses his forehead, looks down at him,
fond and smitten) "Acceptable?"
LOUIS: (thinking hard, humphs) "Fine."
HARRY: (leading him inside) “Bed now?”
LOUIS: “Will it ruin my curls? I wanted them for tomorrow.”
HARRY: “It won’t.” (picking him up, Louis doesn’t even notice, yawns, face in Harry's neck,
eyes-closed) “We’ll re-do it tomorrow. You can have curls every day if you want.”
LOUIS: (curls into Harry’s chest) “I think I’ll have curly hair forever.” (smiles) “And sleep here
forever.”
HARRY: "Well, your Xbox is here so there is no other way, I'm afraid."
Entry
Chapter 61: Entry
[Balcony, Zayn’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 9:10pm, #ZouisPassMeThatBlunt]
Smoke Break 1
ZAYN: “Why are your nails pink again?”
LOUIS: “They’re not pink, first of all. They’re peach. And I’m celebrating the fact that Eleanor
won’t sleep with me anymore.”
ZAYN: “What?”
LOUIS: “It’s a cause.”
ZAYN: “What is? To get Eleanor to sleep with you again?”
LOUIS: “No. The opposite fool. To get her to never sleep with me again. Are you even listening?”
ZAYN: “That’s…not how causes work.”
LOUIS: “They work how I want them to work.”
ZAYN: “So you’re not sleeping with Eleanor. Why?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “Because I didn’t like it.”
ZAYN: “Why?”
LOUIS: “Because it’s Eleanor and she eats dick. Mine, to be exact. She has eaten my dick before.
That’s where I lost a couple of inches. I used to be like…snake length but now I’m more like…
iguana shaped.”
ZAYN: (disgusted face) “You are vile. How do women sleep with you?”
LOUIS: (snorts) “They don’t, apparently.”
ZAYN: “Yeah, you’d do much better with a man.”
LOUIS: (caught off guard) “What? Why would you say that?”
ZAYN: “Because only men can stomach your sense of humor and the fact that your idea of
romance is to put coffee in a plastic cup so they can take it on their way out in the morning.”
LOUIS: (speechless, trying to decide what to say, blurts) “Harry thinks I’m romantic.”
HARRY: (entering the balcony with a cigarette in his fingers) “No, I don’t. You’re the least
romantic person I know. You thought romantic was a genre of painting.”
LOUIS: “It is and it’s called Romanticism. I don’t expect an uneducated noob like yourself to
understand.”
ZAYN: (vicious) “Watch it.”
HARRY: (laughing it off) “Fair enough.” (settles in between them, also leaning on the balcony,
smoking, to Zayn) “He’s good with paintings, amazing with plays, decent with books but sucky
with kisses and hugs.”
LOUIS: (smiling) “That so?” (elbowing him, taunting) “Who are you to judge? As if I’d ever kiss
you. You probably taste like ass.”
HARRY: (smirking back) “Oh, quite literally.” (Louis makes a gagging face, Harry pokes his
nose) “You could always have a free sample though.”
ZAYN: “I’m still here, guys, before you start bro-pal flirting, do remember that.”
LOUIS: (flushed) “We’re not flirting.”
HARRY: (immediately noticing Louis’ discomfort) “It’s more like getting on each other’s nerves
than flirting.” (trying to ease the tension) “Besides, Zay, we bro-pal flirt all the time, you’re used
to it.”
LOUIS: (flings his cigarette out, stomps back in the room) “I’m done here.”
HARRY:(confused, looking back at Louis retreating) “Hey, where are you…” (turns back toward
Zayn) “Was it something I said?”
ZAYN: (eyebrow raised) “Yes, yes it was. That was brilliant saving on your part. Next time, just
tell him we have kissed for real. That’ll go over well.” (shakes his head, to himself) “Oblivious
potato that you are.”
HARRY: (oblivious) “Why would he care if we’ve kissed for real? If you didn’t care, why should
he?”
ZAYN: (sighs, throws his cigarette out too) “You got that nickname for a reason. Think on it.”
Smoke Break 2
LOUIS: “Why do you and Ed hate each other?”
ZAYN: “We don’t.”
LOUIS: (snorts) “Don’t worry, I’m not telling Harry if that’s what concerns you. He can continue
to think his parents will get back together after the divorce. I won’t break the news that they both
started dating other people.”
ZAYN: “Funny you’d phrase it that way. A lot of the time, that’s exactly how it feels like.”
LOUIS: “Are you the mom or the dad?”
ZAYN: “Well, he moved in with me so the mom, I suppose.”
LOUIS: “That makes sense since Ed lets him get away with more shit too.” (smirks) “And
whenever he wants to do things, he asks Ed first.”
ZAYN: “If by things you mean drugs and mistakes then yes, he does ask Ed first because Ed got
him into that stuff in the first place.”
LOUIS: “Did you ever like him?”
ZAYN: “We used to be best friends. I still respect him for his other qualities and I don’t mind him
as a person, on his own, when it doesn’t have to do with Harry. He’s smart and hard-working. Very
kind. He’s a good person. We used to be really close.”
LOUIS: “What happened?”
ZAYN: (shrugs) “It got…complicated when he started dating Harry. Emotions got deeper, more
intense. And Ed fell quickly for him, almost before he even asked Harry out. He was very attached
—They both were. It was hard not to step on any toes with whatever I said or did.”
LOUIS: “To Harry, you mean? Whatever you said to Harry, did with Harry.“
ZAYN: (ignores the implication) “I remember, one time…We were really high, the three of us. We
had smoked up. Ed smokes a lot. Harry was as high as a kite and bouncing off the walls—It was
really quite annoying. Ed and weed always got him so obnoxious. This time though he was really
testing my limits.”
LOUIS: “Doing what exactly?”
ZAYN: “He started making spit bubbles or I don’t know, some weird drooling shit. He giggled
and drooled and it was disgusting.” (pause) “But Ed laughed. He laughed and I will never forgive
him for that day. He chuckled and wiped Harry’s cheeks with his hand and he didn’t flinch once
even when Harry climbed on his lap like a freaking four-year old.” (almost sighed) “Things
changed from that night on.”
Smoke Break 3
LOUIS: “Can I crash here tonight?”
ZAYN: (shrugs) “If you don’t mind being cosy. I only have one bed.”
LOUIS: (excited) “I don’t. I don’t mind. He can sleep on my side. He’s always half on top of me
anyway when we sleep so I’m used to it.”
ZAYN: (looking down) “He’s getting used to you.”
LOUIS: “Is that bad?”
ZAYN: “I don’t know, Louis, because I don’t really know what happens between you too. I do
know I don’t want him hurt.”
LOUIS: “Me neither. We can agree there.”
ZAYN: “Yeah…I’m not sure if we can.”
LOUIS: “You think I’d hurt him?”
ZAYN: “Not on purpose. But you definitely have the power to crush him otherwise. We’ve both
seen that.”
LOUIS: (emotional) “I made a mistake. That’s what people do—they make mistakes. But I
apologized and he forgave me. I’m not gonna make that mistake again.”
ZAYN: “But a new one—”
LOUIS: (angrier) “I was crushed too. I was hurt too. I’m hurt without him. He’s my best friend. It
goes both ways. We both care a lot. We both want this a lot.”
ZAYN: “Nothing against you, really, but it is a little off-putting to have you use the same label I
use for him.”
LOUIS: “Why? Because we fought once? You haven’t fought ever, now?”
ZAYN: “Not because of that. I don’t mean to be possessive—“
LOUIS: “But you are. You are possessive and so am I so we can both understand each other there.
No need to front.”
ZAYN: “I’ve known him for a very long time. I know everything about him. I support everything
about him. I can say with a hundred percent certainty that whatever he can say to me, I will respond
with, I’ll be there for you. A hundred percent certainty. Can you say the same?”
LOUIS: (speechless, in thought) “I don’t know…”
ZAYN: (purses his lips) “That’s what it means to be someone’s best friend. It means if he shows
up at my door and wants me to help burry someone, I would.” (Louis smiles) “It means I accept
him exactly how he is and trust me, some parts of him are very hard to accept.”
LOUIS: “Maybe you shouldn’t accept those parts. Maybe you should help him change.”
ZAYN: “It’s easy for you to say. Ed came in with that mentality too and he quit because he saw
that it’s not a ‘snap your fingers, he’s a new person’ type of thing. Parts of him are always going to
be there. He’s always going to be insecure with friends, with himself. I can help him become
confident but that’s never going to remove the fact that when we enter a new room, he’ll want to
grab my jacket, sometimes my hand. He needs a best friend that will willingly do that for him. I
don’t know if that’s you—I’ve judged you early way too many times—but I don’t think you know
if that’s you either. And that scares me because I can’t have him reach for a hand that’s not there.”
LOUIS: “I might not know how I’d react in that situation because I haven’t been in it yet but I do
know one thing. His pain pains me. Any situation where I can help him avoid struggling, I’ll do
whatever it takes. Maybe not in the most conventional ways but hey, I’m effective—crude but
effective.”
ZAYN: (snorts) “That you are.”
LOUIS: (serious) “He can change. I’ve seen him change. I know he wants it and he can do it. He
can do anything he wants to do.”
ZAYN: “Yes, he can. But make sure that he wants to change for him—not for you. If he’s
changing so he can be a better friend to you, that might not be him really wanting to change for
himself.”
LOUIS: “If he needs me to be his motivation for something that he wants to do but can’t find fire
otherwise, then I’ll do it.” (opening up) “He’s been my motivation for a lot of things. He’s the
reason I don’t drink as much. He’s the one that stops me from snapping at people. He’s gotten me
into reading again and studying so that the next time he asks me a random question about a random
painting in a random museum, I’ll be able to explain it to him. If I can be even half of that for him,
then I’ll be happy to do it.”
ZAYN: (stunned, recovering) “There’s another thing.”
LOUIS: “Shoot.”
ZAYN: (takes a frustrated breath) “He’s going to pick me. He might like you a shit ton but he’s
still going to pick me when push comes to shove.”
LOUIS: (frowning) “That’s not necessarily true.”
ZAYN: “No, it is. This is the real test.” (turns towards him, serious) “You need to accept now that
I’ve been there for him since he was a child—“
LOUIS: “We get it. We get it. You’re amazing. It’s all about you and your never-ending
generosity.”
ZAYN: (snappy right back) “I’m not saying that! Listen, I’m trying to help you. I’m trying to
prepare you so that it doesn’t all break down again. I want this for him. I’m on your side. I want
what makes him happy and if that’s you, I’m not gonna fight that. Let me help you.”
LOUIS: “Help me by what? Telling me how much he loves you.”
ZAYN: “He does love me and if that’s gonna bother you, you’ll end up exactly like Ed. You can’t
get over this by thinking, ‘He’ll love me more’. That’s the pitfall. That’s pride. You have to realize
that he loves me like a protector and he might love you too but in a different way—We’re not
competing with each other. He doesn’t see us the same way. We don’t have to compete.”
LOUIS: “Because if we do compete, you’ll win.”
ZAYN: “I will. Not because of my ‘never-ending generosity’ but because I had the time
advantage. That’s it. Just that. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t trust you. It just means I was lucky to
meet him first.”
LOUIS: (takes a few seconds to think it through, nods slowly) “If I accept that then you’ll have to
accept that I will not be pushed aside. If I’m getting this attached to him, I want my place by his
side. And I’m gonna fight for his time because I think it’s good for him—It’s good for both of us.”
ZAYN: (smiles) “Earn it and it’s yours.”
LOUIS: (smoking in silence, then) “I can still sleep over?”
ZAYN: (walking back in, teasing) “Ever thought you’d sleep in a bed with two men, Tomlinson?”
LOUIS: (laughing, following him) “Can’t say that it was on my bucket list.”
ZAYN: “Don’t lie now.”
LOUIS: (more laughing) “Not lying. But I’ll embrace it.” (crawling on the bed on one side of
Harry, who’s asleep, stomach down, Louis ruffles his hair, clearly being soft, despite his tone)
“Yo, airhead, make some space, ey?”
HARRY: (opening his eyes, blinks at Louis, smirks) “You’ll have to move me, fatty.”
ZAYN: (sitting on the other side of Harry, with an xbox controller) “Best two out of three buys the
weed next time we chill.”
LOUIS: “Oh, you’re on.” (sits down, back against the head-board, Zayn hands him the controller)
“Get ready to meet your match. I’m sure playing against this punk has made you think you’re all
that.”
HARRY: “I try, okay?” (lets his face fall back on the pillow, mumbled) “Sorry, ‘m not man
enough for you.”
LOUIS: (pats his lap, still looking at the screen to pick a team) “Come?”
ZAYN: (raises an eyebrow, looks at Harry curiously but doesn’t comment) “Of course, you’d pick
Barca. Classic noob move.”
LOUIS: “Psh, psh. Trash talk all you want.” (Harry lays his head on Louis’ lap, Louis touches his
curls quickly, to Harry) “You good?” (Harry nods, smile on his face, eyes closed) “Hope I don’t
accidentally smack you in the face.”
HARRY: (yawns, chuckles) “I’d deserve it.”
ZAYN: (still somewhat wary) “You sure you can play like that?”
LOUIS: “I always play like this nowadays.”
HARRY: (sleepy) “Helps me sleep since watching soccer bores me half to death.” (Louis smacks
his cheek, Harry giggles) “And Louis is usually so bad—“ (Louis scoffs under his breath, squishes
Harry’s cheeks so the rest of sentence is mumbled) “All he does is pass and then lose the ball
again.”
ZAYN: (chuckles) “Kinda the point in soccer, I’d say.”
LOUIS: “Ha. See! Shut your mouth, child.” (covers Harry’s mouth, Harry nibbles on one finger,
licking it) “Ew.” (immediately pulls it away, wipes it on Harry’s shirt) “Don’t be gross, bub.”
(Harry pouts) “You don’t know where those fingers have been. I was just scratching my balls a
few minutes ago.” (Harry giggles immaturely while Zayn gags) “That’s right so no more licking
things.”
HARRY: “If Zayn wins, you have to spoon me.”
ZAYN: (howls in laughter) “I accept.” (reaches over to high-five Harry) “If I win, all night
spooning or sleeping on the floor.”
HARRY: “Oh don’t give him that escape!”
LOUIS: “Hey! Stop teaming up against me.” (to Harry) “This how fast you jump ships, Squirtle?”
HARRY: (cracking up, mock whisper) “Shh, I’m doing this for both of us. You don’t know what
you want.”
ZAYN: “Agreed again.”
LOUIS: “Aight. Aight. I see how it is. I’ll have to shut you both up then.”
HARRY: “I’ll prepare my spooning side.”
ZAYN: (exaggerated, playing) “Prep it, boo. We ‘bout to kick ass.”
LOUIS: (half-focused on the game, half-eyeing Harry on his lap, to Harry) “I swear if you—“
(laughs before finishing) “If you punch me in the nuts when I’m about to score, you’ll be choking
on them later.”
HARRY: “Yum. Finally getting the real deal. Those fingers were just the appetizer.”
ZAYN: (laughing so hard he loses possession of the ball) “That’s just wrong.”
Easy
Chapter 62: Easy
Scene 1
[Zayn’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 2:10am, I’m Easy For You]
LOUIS: (middle of the night, Zayn’s asleep, Harry and Louis, laying down awake, facing each
other) “I’m getting really attached to you and how much of a moron you are.”
HARRY: “Is that a bad thing?”
LOUIS: “Being a moron? Yeah.”
HARRY: (amused) “No. Being attached to me. Is that also a bad thing?”
LOUIS: (sighed) “Yeah.”
HARRY: “Why?”
LOUIS: “Because bad things happen when I get attached to people like this.”
LOUIS: “Like I wanna be with them all the time. Like that. I don’t get attached like that often but
with you, I’m getting there for sure. It’s annoying how much we have fun. We should have less
fun.”
HARRY: “What bad things happen?”
LOUIS: (half-grin) “I cry a lot.”
HARRY: “That is bad. But I do that too. A lot.”
LOUIS: (endeared) “Other bad things.”
HARRY: “Really bad things?”
LOUIS: (touches one of Harry’s bangs, moves it out of Harry’s face, sad) “Horrible things.”
HARRY: (grabs Louis’ hand, holds it between his own) “To you or to me? I’m fine if I get hurt
but I don’t want you in pain…”
LOUIS: (stunned) “To both of us. And if you don’t want me in pain, I can’t have you in pain
because then I’m in pain too.” (frustrated) “It’s very messed up and complicated. I wish it was
simpler.”
HARRY: (soft) “Are you in pain right now?”
LOUIS: “No…” (his hand squeezes one of Harry’s palms before pulling away) “But it’s hard for
me to do this.”
HARRY: “I’m sorry. We don’t have to—“
LOUIS: “Not your fault. It’s hard and at the same time, so, so easy. I fall into this with you very
easily.”
HARRY: “I push it at times. I should know my limits.”
LOUIS: “When you push me, those are the only times I feel alive.” (snorts to himself) “It’s a lot. It
hurts, that’s how much it is, but I need a lot because life has made me so drugged with apathy that
nothing ever surprises me anymore—Nothing makes me feel anything. I’m comatose, day in, day
out, bored. But you’re like…like cocaine. A rush, overwhelming, it feels good. You help me touch
that threshold if only for a little. Every time you catch me off guard I’m scared but that’s good
because I am something—I feel something. It’s new.”
HARRY: (moves closer to him, drawn in, whispered) “Wanna share a secret? I say one, you say
one. Wanna?”
LOUIS: “Tell me.”
HARRY: “When I’m with you…I don’t ever think of Ed… And when you bring him up… It’s
soft, like a soft ache, very gentle, just there as a memory. But you are much larger and all around
the pain and it helps. I don’t miss him when I’m with you…” (quiet) “But I miss you all the time
when we’re not together…”
LOUIS: (bites his lip, eventually has the courage to speak again) “Last time I got this close to
someone…” (gulps) “I got really hurt…” (caresses Harry’s cheek) “And you remind me of him, at
times much more than others.”
HARRY: (breath skipping) “What was he like?”
LOUIS: (struggling) “Easy to be around…Made me feel good about myself…At the beginning—
At the start—When he wanted to…” (pulls away, cuddles his arms against his chest, looks away)
“I made the mistake of opening up to him and that changed my entire life. I don’t know if I can risk
you doing the same, even if I was unhappy with the life I had before you.”
HARRY: “I’m harmless. I’m a baby.”
LOUIS: “You’re not. Don’t put yourself down. Don’t let anyone call you ‘baby’. It’s demeaning.”
(looks at him intently) “You’re a man, a strong, smart one at that. And people that underestimate
you, well, I feel bad for them because I’ve seen you pissed and it’s quite frankly very real, unlike
the baby act you might put on so Zayn breast-feed you.” (Harry is surprised, gaping) “The baby is
endearing, got my attention, but the man made me wanna stick around. And if I’m gonna let
anyone spoon me, it will damn sure be a man who can handle it.”
HARRY: (confessing) “I’ve never been a man for someone…”
LOUIS: (shrugging) “I’ve never slept with two men in the same bed. Things change.”
HARRY: (smiles) “They sure do, Hades, they sure do.”
Scene 2
[Town Square Theatre, Walt Disney World, 1:35pm, Bros Before Hoes]
NIALL: “You’ve moved into his room again?”
LOUIS: (shakes his head) “No. Well, not really. Not officially, I’d say. I’m keeping some distance
this time.” (interjected) “Not because he’s gay. Alright? Alright. Because last time we got too
attached, too quickly and it hurt us both so this time, we’re keeping some distance.” (shrugs) “As
much as we can…”
NIALL: “You think just because you don’t sleep together every night, it won’t hurt if he decides
to stop talking to you?”
LOUIS: “First of all, why would he do that? Second of all, yes, it would hurt but I won’t wake up
in the middle of the night sleep talking about wanting him to buy all the ‘How I Met Your Mother’
seasons on Amazon.”
NIALL: “You did that…ever?”
LOUIS: “I really like ‘How I Met Your Mother’ and I don’t know how to use Amazon because I
hate people.”
NIALL: “You hate people so much you won’t even buy things they’re selling on the internet?”
LOUIS: “Harry’s fast at it. And he has an account. And he looks funny when he’s sulking about
how I make him do things all the time.”
NIALL: “Liam told me he bought you a onesie.”
LOUIS: “We both got one. Sometimes we run around the hotel in them, pretending we’re five and
have lost our mommies. We’re drunk, of course. If we weren’t, we’d need to be hospitalized.”
NIALL: “How drunk do you guys get?”
LOUIS: “Really drunk on Thursdays. I can drink more but he drinks better so he’s always the one
dragging me back. I don’t even know what’s so entertaining about it. Once, I peed my pants
laughing because Harry was convinced he was a dog and refused to walk on two feet. We almost
got in trouble that time. I’m literally in hell when I work Fridays.”
NIALL: “You’re a bad influence. He would never risk this much if it weren’t for you. And look at
him now, getting wasted on week nights. In the hotel! On another, more important note, why am I
never invited to these parties?”
LOUIS: “You should come. We just never plan them. Next time we’ll pre game at yours though.”
NIALL: “Is it really pre gaming when there is no game?”
LOUIS: “Oh, there is game alright, all his. He gets so smooth when he’s wasted. I almost forget
how much he actually sucks at flirting.”
NIALL: (concerned, treading lightly) “He flirts with you?”
LOUIS: “Jokingly. The more flustered I get, the more he flirts. I’ve gotten used to it though. Plus,
if I react badly, he reminds me that he’d never go for me since I’m straight and not his type for
whatever reason—He likes them tall probably and like…Not straight. Pisses me off when he keeps
repeating it…”
NIALL: “Pisses you off? Why? I thought if anything, it’d make you feel easier.”
LOUIS: “It’s dumb. He doesn’t need to keep reassuring me after every joke he makes. I get it. He
doesn’t like me like that. He’d never go for me. We’re not like that. I get it! I get it. I get the
concept.”
NIALL: “You sound bitter as hell.”
LOUIS: “Whatever.”
NIALL: “It’s like you want him to pine after you…”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “Didn’t say that. I wouldn’t care if he did though…”
NIALL: (rolling his eyes) “That’s not fair, Louis. Don’t lead him on just because you want your
ego stroked. You can get that done anywhere, with anyone. Leave him out of it. He’s your friend. If
he’s doing you the favor of keeping it strictly platonic, the least you can do is make it easier on
him.”
LOUIS: “Like let him date, you mean?”
NIALL: (confused) “Uh, sure. If he wants to, you don’t have a say in that.”
LOUIS: “I don’t like it.”
NIALL: “That’s ridiculous. It’s not one of those things you are even allowed to have an opinion
on.”
LOUIS: “I am allowed to have an opinion on anything I want. And my opinion is, I don’t want
him dating someone. He’s barely ready, still figuring things out with Ed. What he needs is to have
fun and chill with friends. He doesn’t need a boyfriend.”
NIALL: “You know, him having a boyfriend won’t mean he stops hanging out with you.”
LOUIS: (snorts defensively) “That’s exactly what it means. The minute he dates someone, it’ll be
all about him, this perfect boy toy whose face he eats. Every second of every day, he’ll wanna
devote to his boyfriend. Everything he’ll wanna do with his boyfriend because that’s what
boyfriends are for. Everyone knows that people don’t have friends when they start relationships.”
NIALL: “They do. Think of Zayn and Liam. They’re both dating and they both still hang out with
all of us. It just won’t be…” (shrugging, wary) “This much time. He won’t be around all the time
the way he is now.”
LOUIS: “So…I’m not supposed to be iffy about that? I like spending time with him. Whoever
comes into his life will be taking out of that time, my time. And I’ll fight for it. There’s nothing
unfair about that. I backed out once and it didn’t go well so this time I’m gonna stay and make him
choose. No more default shit. If he picks having a boyfriend, fine, I’ll step back. But he might pick
me so…”
NIALL: “It’s tough to compete with a boyfriend, Louis. You should prepare for that.”
Entertain
Chapter 63: Entertain
[Simba’s Cub-house Childcare, Walt Disney World in Florida, 4:03pm, Babysitting]
LOUIS: (throwing Starburst at Harry from a huge bag he is carrying) “Hey, look kids, Hercules is
being bombarded with Starbursts.” (hitting Harry in the head with one) “Strawberry.” (throwing
another one) “Lemony.” (missing with one, lands on the floor, a kid hurries to pick it up) “Oh, so
juicy. How do they get these things so juicy, I wonder?” (throwing some more as Harry tries
desperately to pick them up from the ground before the kids) “Candy. Pew. Pew. Pew.”
HARRY: (annoyed, groaning) “Louis—“
LOUIS: “Who the fuck is Louis?”
HARRY: (under his breath) “Louis!”
LOUIS: “What’s my name, kids?”
CHILDREN: (collectively) “Hades!”
HARRY: “Right.” (smiling forcefully) “Hades, will you please…” (gets hit in the face with a
Starburst, irritated) “Will you please…” (hit in the eye, flinches, snaps) “Will you stop that?!”
BOY #1: “Oh, anger.”
LOUIS: (imitating him) “Oh, angry Herc.” (smirking at Harry who is giving him the death glare)
“Who knew all I had to do to defeat him was have it rain Starbursts?”
GIRL #1: (squealing) “You can do that?!”
BOY #2: (jumping up and down) “Rain Starbursts! Rain Starbursts!”
HARRY: (panicking) “No, no, no, no, no!”
LOUIS: (loud) “Rain Starbursts it is!”
HARRY: (to Louis) “Don’t you da—“
LOUIS: (throws a bunch in the air) “Look, kids, Star-rain!” (throwing more, skipping around,
while kids are screaming in excitement) “Candy falling from the sky!”
HARRY: (sighs, palms his forehead) “This is why they don’t want you to be Peter Pan.”
LOUIS: “Oh, I stole these from Ashton.”
HARRY: “Of course, you did.”
LOUIS: “I mean where did you think I got them? Bought them with my own cash? Please. Pan is
the only one who’s considered mature enough to hand out candy. The eighteen year old, mature.
The youngest one, mature. I’m offended really. I’m the mature one. Why can’t they understand
that?”
HARRY: (watching the children look around for more candy, their pockets, hands and mouths
full, dry) “I wonder why.”
BOY #1: “More candy!”
HARRY: (kneeling eye-level with him) “No, no. Enough candy for now.”
BOY #1: (throwing a Starburst at his face, stomping his feet) “More candy, stupid Hercules.”
LOUIS: (laughing too hard in the background) “Yes, yes, children. Stupid Hercules.”
HARRY: (to Louis, stern) “Control yourself.” (gets hit by more candy) “Hey, hey, stop now.
That’s not very nice.”
BOY #3: “You’re not nice. You don’t give us candy.”
GIRL #1: “Give us candy, stupid Hercules.”
HARRY: (raising his empty hands) “Well, I don’t have any.”
GIRL #1: “Oh.” (walks over at Louis who is holding the bag) “Give us candy, Hades.”
HARRY: (interjecting) “Stupid Hades.”
GIRL #1: “No. Only stupid Hercules. Hades is nice.”
HARRY: “Why is Hades nice?”
GIRL #1: “He gives us candy and piggyback rides and is pretty like Snow White.”
LOUIS: (laughing) “I’m adopting this one.” (walking closer, smiling at the kids) “Do you guys
want more candy?”
CHILDREN: (screaming) “Yeah! Candy! Candy!”
HARRY: "I think they've had more than enough."
LOUIS: (kneeling down) “But remember for every one you eat you have to throw one at
Hercules.”
HARRY: “Louis, no.”
JACK: (imitating Lou) “Who the fuck is Louis?”
HARRY: (horrified, squealing) “No, don’t curse, Jackie!”
LOUIS: (laughing so hard he has to sit down on the ground, kids jump on his lap and back) “Oh
my god, best thing that ever happened to this place. I should steal more often.”
HARRY: (worried) “No, don’t say that in front of the kids! Listen to your words.”
JACK: "Steal! Steal!" (tackles Louis to the floor, Louis hugs him, raising him up, Jack giggles)
HARRY: "No, no, no, no."
LOUIS: (trying to catch his breath, sets him on the floor again) "No, bud, don't steal."
BOY #3: “Do we have to take out the wrapper before we throw them at him?”
LOUIS: (amused) “No.”
HARRY: “Lou—Hades!”
GIRL #2: “Do we hit him with all of them or just the bad ones?”
LOUIS: “Just the bad ones.”
BOY #3: “So the yellow?”
GIRL #2: “No! The yellows are the good ones!”
BOY #3: (pushing each other) “No, they’re not. The pink are the good ones.”
GIRL #2: “No, the yellow.”
HARRY: “Guys, why don’t we just eat them all at this point?”
LOUIS: (taunting) “Eat them all, huh? That sounds healthy.”
BOY #4: “Without throwing them at you?”
HARRY: “Yes, without that.”
LOUIS: “No, kids, don’t listen to Hercules.”
BOY #4: "Why not?”
LOUIS: “Because…because if you do I’ll make all of the candy yellow."
CHILDREN: (most of the kids) “Ew. No!”
GIRL #2: (hands in the air) “Yes!”
BOY #3: (throwing one at Harry, missing, turning to Louis, suddenly very serious) “We don’t
have enough candy for this operation.”
LOUIS: (amused) “What?”
BOY #4: “If we throw one and eat one, we need more. Not enough candy.”
GIRL #1: “So much candy wasted on Hercules. Candy should be eaten.”
LOUIS: “Oh.”
HARRY: “That’s exactly why we should just eat them and not throw them at Hercules. Hercules
is nice now. Hercules will give you candy.”
LOUIS: “Go away, stupid Hercules. Stop trying to be me.”
CHILDREN: (chanting) “Stupid Hercules.”
HARRY: (exasperated, palming his face in resignation) “Lord. I’m babysitting ten children and a
man-child.”
LOUIS: “You have to do the rain dance.”
BOY #3: (suspicious) “But why?”
LOUIS: “Well, for it to rain, of course. You have to do the rain dance.”
GIRL #1: “But we don’t know the—“
LOUIS: (shushing her) “You do…just dance to this song right now." (referring to the song playing
in the background, Disney Parks always have music on) "Who knows this song?”
BOY #5: “Me!” (jumping around) “Me!” (trying to get Louis’ attention) “Me! Hades! Pick me!”
BOY #5: (smug, still jumping up and down) “Beauty and the Beast.”
LOUIS: “Yes. How does it go again?”
GIRL #3: (mumbling, moving from side to side while singing) “Be our guest, be our guest, put our
service to the rest—“
LOUIS: (chuckling) “Test.”
GIRL #3: (blushing) “Yes.” (walking closer to him to hide her face in his chest, mumbling more of
the song) “Tie your napkin in your neck…” (looking at him for help)
LOUIS: (smiling, singing the rest of it) “Cherie, and we’ll provide the rest! Soup du jour, Hot hors
d'oeuvres. Why, we only live to serve. Try the grey stuff. It's delicious. Don't believe me? Ask the
dishes." (the children dancing up and down) "They can sing, they can dance. After all, Miss, this
is..." (looking at the little girl who's giggling)
GIRL #3: (hands in the air) “France!"
LOUIS: (still singing) "And a dinner here is never second best. Go on, unfold your menu. Take a
glance and then you'll be our guest. Oui, our guest. Be our guest!" (throwing some more candy in
the air while the children scream and chase it down)
BOY #2: "I'm hungry for real now."
JACK: "Yes, Hades, make it rain other stuff, like chicken tenders."
GIRL #1: (screaming) “Chicken tenders!”
GIRL #2: (squealing, jumping around in excitement) “Hades is my new favorite.”
LOUIS: “Did you hear that, Herc? You have been displaced.”
HARRY: (smitten) "I don't blame them. Hades is my favorite too."
BOY #1: (to another child) “But Hercules wins.”
JACK: “It’s only because in the movie they didn’t have Starbursts. Weren’t you listening?”
LOUIS: “That’s exactly it, kiddos. Starbursts defeat everything.”
GIRL #1: (surprised) “Everything?”
BOY #1: “Like dragons too?”
LOUIS: “Dragons most definitely.”
BOY #4: “And pirates?”
LOUIS: “For sure.”
BOY #3: “And mermaids.”
GIRL #3: (slapping him lightly) “Mermaids aren’t bad!”
BOY #3: “Yes, they are. Bad mermaids are bad. Peter Pan mermaids are bad.”
LOUIS: “Yes, only the bad mermaids.”
BOY #3: “And you, does it defeat you?”
LOUIS: “Well…”
HARRY: (laughing) “They have you there.”
LOUIS: “Maybe.”
BOY #1: (hands on mouth) “So much power.”
BOY #5: (joining in by sitting beside the two other kids in front of Louis, shy) “I want to know
too.”
GIRL #2: (pushing him away) “You can’t know.”
LOUIS: (gently grabbing her hand) “Hey, hey. No shoving.” (pulling her closer in a hug) “We
must be nice to everyone but Hercules. If you wanna go beat someone up, go throw stuff at him.”
(tickling her stomach) “But no pushing other friends.”
HARRY: (smiling at Louis) “Let’s not encourage that.”
GIRL #2: (giggling, whispering) “I think he knows we don’t like him.”
LOUIS: (whispering back) “He knows? Oh!” (fake shock, turning around, winking at Harry) “He
can’t. He’s too dumb to figure this stuff out.” (lets the girl run away, laughing, stands up, to
Harry) “Eleanor has it easy. This seems like the easiest shift.”
HARRY: “Not when you have to feed them and put them to sleep and keep them from killing each
other.”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “I like kids best. What you see is what you get. Though I should have probably
held back on the candy.”
HARRY: “No kidding. We have to clean this up now.”
LOUIS: “They’ll do it for us.” (watching the kids who are crawling on their hands and knees to
pick up the discarded candy) “You think they’ll leave candy on the floor. Candy should be eaten,
Hercules.”
GIRL #3: (full mouth of candy) “So much candy.” (hands full of more Starbursts)
LOUIS: “Hey there, chubby bunny, you have to share some of that with the others.” (to Harry)
“Some parent will get to see that one crash. So exciting.”
HARRY: (to the girl) “Don’t eat that many. You’ll choke, love. One by one, please.” (to Louis)
“This is not safe.”
LOUIS: “Herc, save the children.”
JACK: (imitating Louis) “Save the children!” (running around Harry, repeating the phrase) “Save
the children! Save the children!”
LOUIS: (chuckling) “This one…” (grabs him up, grunting, setting him on his hip) “This one will
become me in the future. Don't you think? Eh, Jackie, you’ll grow up to be me?”
JACK: “Yesh! I will be Hades. That’s what I asked Santa for last year.”
LOUIS: “Hear that, Hercules, Santa gives these kinds of gifts too. If I knew, I’d have asked to be a
pop star.”
JACK: “Or Buzz Lightyear.”
LOUIS: “Or Buzz Lightyear. Same thing. And Jack will be me.”
HARRY: (rolling his eyes, tender) “Let’s not pray for that.”
LOUIS: “He says everything I say and look, he kinda looks like me too.” (holding the kid, rubbing
his face against the giggling boy’s cheek) “Baby Hades.”
HARRY: (can’t stop looking at Louis, smiling) “He does. He looks like he could be, well…”
(trailing off, walking closer so that he’s caressing the boy’s hair out of his face, both practically
chest to chest with the kid in between them, still in Louis’ arms) “Related…to you.”
LOUIS: (looking at Harry, voice soft, dazed) “Yeah…”
JACK: (touching Harry’s face) “You don’t have beard.” (poking at Louis) “You have beard.”
(back to Harry) “No beard.” (rubbing his face against Louis’) “Beard. Prickly, prickly.”
HARRY: (chuckling, giving him a kiss on the forehead before poking his cheeks) “You don’t have
a beard either.”
LOUIS: (not having recovered yet, to Harry) “How many?”

HARRY: (staring back meaningfully) “Three. Two boys and a baby girl to spoil rotten.”
JACK: (suddenly but quiet) “Now kiss…”
LOUIS: (snapped awake, pulls away) “Oh, right. I forget that you’re the kiss boy. You want
everyone to kiss.”
JACK: (pouting) “That was a kiss moment. In the movies, they kiss then. Why didn’t you kiss?”
HARRY: (fond) “It was a kiss moment, Hades.”
LOUIS: (genuinely curious) “But why would you want Hades and Hercules to kiss? Isn’t that
weird?”
JACK: “Why is it weird?”
LOUIS: “Well, because—“
HARRY: (smiling) “Because one is bad and one is good.”
JACK: “But I thought Hades was good now. He promised he’d be good. Has he broken the
promise again?”
HARRY: (smiles widely, ruffling Jack’s hair) “No, he hasn’t. He’s been very good.”
JACK: (to Louis) “So why aren’t you kissing then?”
LOUIS: (still shocked) “Because, well…Hercules should kiss a princess instead, don’t you think?”
JACK: “But why?”
LOUIS: “Because princesses are pretty and nice.”
JACK: “You’re pretty and nice too.”
HARRY: “He’s right. You are.”
LOUIS: “But I’m not a princess. I’m the sidekick. The best friend. Like Woody and Buzz.”
JACK: “Oh…”
HARRY: (tries to cheer him up) “You have best friends too, don’t you, Jackie?” (grabs him from
Louis’ arms, holds him on his own) “Who’s your best friend?”
JACK: “Ben.”
LOUIS: “Would you wanna kiss Ben?”
JACK: “I kiss everyone because mommy says it makes them happy.” (smiles) “And Hercules
kisses everyone too.” (pause, confused) “But Hades…because…” (looks at Harry for help)
“Because why?”
HARRY: “Because Hades is always happy.”

LOUIS: (looks away, spaced out) “Always…”
JACK: “Are you always happy, Hades?” (Louis’ doesn’t reply, still dazed) “Hades?”
HARRY: (walks closer, touches his arm while holding Jack on his hip, worried) “Hey.”
LOUIS: (flips back) “Huh? Sorry, what happened? I just lost myself a little bit.” (snorting, making
silly faces at Jack) “I was sleeping with my eyes open. What did you say, Jack?”
JACK: “I asked if you were happy?”
HARRY: “Always. He asked if you were always happy.”
LOUIS: (looks from Jack to Harry, smiles) “When I’m with you two, yes.” (pokes Jack’s stomach)
“I’m always happy.”
Examine
Chapter 64: Examine
Scene 1
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 6:41pm, Hot Stuff]
LOUIS: (on the bed, sliding a straightener down Harry’s curls) “Am I doing it right?”
HARRY: (cross-legged on the bed, amused) “Well, you have to turn it on first.”
LOUIS: “I plugged it in.”
HARRY: “Yes, but that doesn’t mean—here, give me. I’ll turn it on.” (grabs the straightener,
turns it on) “See this light? It means it’s running. Careful though, it’s going to be hot now.”
LOUIS: “Really? The straightener is hot? Wow, mommy, what else is new?”
HARRY: “That third degree burn you’re bound to get.”
LOUIS: “Kill joy.”
HARRY: “Our room will catch on fire.”
LOUIS: “No faith.” (grabbing a chunk of hair) “It’s like you forget I’m the one that does your
ponytails.”
HARRY: “No, you’re right. One day you do ponies, the next weaves, just become a celebrity
stylist already.”
LOUIS: “Don’t be sassy. I’m holding a burning iron, clamp-y thing.” (closes and opens the
straightener a couple of times for emphasis) “How fond are you of this ear?”
HARRY: “Not very. Take it.” (grinning) “At least I won’t get to hear your voice ever again.”
LOUIS: (pulls his hair sharply, Harry whines) “Oops.”
HARRY: “Yeah, hi, that’s still, for the time being, attached to my head.”
LOUIS: “For the time being.”
HARRY: “Until you burn it off.”
LOUIS: “It’s steaming. Is this supposed to happen?”
HARRY: “Aren’t you the expert on flaming hair, Hades?”
LOUIS: “Okay. Okay.” (drops the straightener on the sheets) “You’re on point today and I can’t
deal.”
HARRY: (hurries to pick it up) “Louis, sheets catch flames!”

LOUIS: “Be awkward again. I’m the witty one in this duo.” (grabs the straightener from Harry’s
hands carelessly)
HARRY: “Careful, love, careful!” (concerned) “You’ll burn your fingers off. You have to be
careful.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, yeah.” (continues to straighten some hair) “Don’t jinx me.”
HARRY: (rolling his eyes) “Why are you doing this again?”
LOUIS: (gets on his knees behind Harry to reach the top) “I wanna see how you look like with
straight hair.”
HARRY: “Why?”
LOUIS: “Because I saw Eleanor straighten hers and it looked easy. I wanna try but mine is shorter
than yours.”
HARRY: “And I’m your slave.”
LOUIS: (bursts into laughter) “And that.”
HARRY: (smiles) “Is that where you got the straightener? I thought you bought it and for a
second, I was worried about your sanity.”
LOUIS: (burns himself on the hot hair) “Ouch! Shit. Hell.”
HARRY: (immediately) “You alright? You okay? Lemme see.” (grabs the straightener, places it
on the table) “Here, give me your hand.”
LOUIS: (cuddling his fingers) “Your hair burned me!”
HARRY: (touching the red skin) “I told—“
LOUIS: (screaming to interrupt him) “Not listening!” (pulls his hand away, pushes Harry on the
bed) “Don’t be a know-it-all.”
HARRY: (laughing, still laying down) “I don’t have to be a know-it-all to know that I can’t trust
your hands with anything.”
LOUIS: (wiggling his eyebrows) “Anything, you say.”
HARRY: (more laughter) “Anything.”
LOUIS: “Get up. I wanna braid it next.”
HARRY: “Oh, boy. We’ll be doing this all night.”
Scene 2
[Walgreens, Walt Disney Villagel, 7:13pm, Foreskin Doe]
HARRY: (on the phone) “Can’t you hurry?”

LOUIS: (looking around, lost in the pharmacy aisle of Walgreens) “I’m trying to find it but there
is a billion different brand names in this long-ass aisle, not arranged in any order whatsoever. And
—and…” (more frustrated) “I don’t have any idea what it would look like. This has got to be what
Dante’s last circle felt like.”
HARRY: “It’s called Monistat. And it would probably be in the feminine care or something…”
LOUIS: “Can’t I ask someone?”
HARRY: “No! I’d be so embarrassed.”
LOUIS: “You’re not the one buying the damned thing. They won’t even know you ever used it.
What the hell is the problem?”
HARRY: “It’s so rare in men. I can’t bear the shame. I’m ruined.”
LOUIS: “Oh for shit’s sake.”
HARRY: “So rare.” (whiny) “Uh, how did this happen?”
LOUIS: “You’re vile. I told you not to sit on those bus seats. They’re crawling with STI-s.”
HARRY: “They’re not. And this isn’t an STI. It’s a yeast infection. And it itches. So bad. So, so
bad. My hand has been down my pants for an hour now.”
LOUIS: (blunt) “How sexy.”
HARRY: “I’ll scratch my skin off if you don’t hurry. I’ll give myself a circumcision.”
LOUIS: “Vile. Absolutely vile.”
HARRY: “It’s not my fault!”
LOUIS: “How did you get it?”
HARRY: “I don’t know!”
LOUIS: (bitter) “Slept with Eleanor? I mean, you have to at least give me a heads up if she has
this stuff—“
HARRY: (growled) “I thought you weren’t sleeping with her anymore.”
LOUIS: “I won’t if she’ll give me the bubonic plague, make my dick fall off.”
HARRY: “I should have asked Zayn.”
LOUIS: (slighted) “Why didn’t you?”
HARRY: “You were first on my last calls. Didn’t cross my mind you’d give me this much crap.”
LOUIS: “Why? Because I sleep around so much I probably have all these things figured out.”
HARRY: “This isn’t about you! Stop making this about you.”
LOUIS: “Everything in the world is about me, Harry Styles.”
HARRY: “My crotch being on fire is about you how?”
LOUIS: “I gave Eleanor yeast infection to check if—
HARRY: “Louis! Are you gonna buy it or not? I’m in pain. I don’t have time for this.”
LOUIS: “What, too busy scratching your dick?”
HARRY: “Should I call Zayn then?”
LOUIS: “You think I spent the last twenty minutes here for fun? I’m asking someone.”
HARRY: “Fine. Get humiliated. I tried to spare you.”
LOUIS: “It’s a yeast infection, Harry. My reputation will not suffer much.”
HARRY: “Whatever.”
LOUIS: “I’ll see you soon.” (hangs up, walks to the counter) “Hello, yeah, I was looking for
Monistat? Something that would treat a yeast infection, please?”
LADY PHARMACIST: “Is it for your girlfriend or yourself?”
LOUIS: “Uh…”
PHARMACIST: “It’s nothing to be ashamed about. We just need to know since we prescribe
different treatments for guys and girls.”
LOUIS: (coughs) “Um, boy. It’s for a boy.”
PHARMACIST: (smiles) “You’re boyfriend then.” (before Louis can correct her) “I’ll be right
back.”
LOUIS: (lingering on his feet, shuffling awkwardly until the woman comes back and hands him a
box) “Thank you.”
PHARMACIST: “Are you both circumcised?”
LOUIS: (caught off guard) “Uh…”
PHARMACIST: (waiting patiently) “The head of the pen—“
LOUIS: (frantically, blushing) “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I know what that is. Yes.”
PHARMACIST: “Yes, you’re both circumcised?”
LOUIS: “No.”
PHARMACIST: “So you’re both not—“
LOUIS: “No! No, we’re not. What does this have to do with anything? I don’t even have this thing
that he has.”
PHARMACIST: “Well, it’s more likely to occur in uncircumcised people and you can contract it
from your partner if you’re not careful enough.” (Louis is shaking his head slowly in disbelief) “I’d
suggest you refrain from any sexual activities for a couple of days…”
LOUIS: (under his breath) “No, you don’t…understand…”
PHARMACIST: (continuing without stopping) “Until the rash disappears. Afterwards, you’re
safe. It’s treatable. So feel free to continue participating in sexual activities.” (Louis has turned
bright red) “There is nothing to be ashamed about. It happens to people all the time. It’s very
common.”
LOUIS: “Please, let me just pay for this and not die of mortification here.”
PHARMACIST: “Oh, honey, it’s quite alright. It’s very sweet that you’re getting it for your
darling.”
LOUIS: (mock sobs, places his face on the counter, to himself) “Oh Styles, I’ll kill you.”
PHARMACIST: “You must be an amazing boyfriend.”
LOUIS: “Murder you. Murder you so much.”
Scene 3
[Watching Pixar’s “Up”, Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 10:35pm, Balloon Boy]
LOUIS: “Let’s skip the beginning.”
HARRY: “Why?”
LOUIS: “Let’s just skip it. Get to the action faster.”
HARRY: (pouting) “But I like the beginning.”
LOUIS: “So…”
HARRY: “Please?”
LOUIS: “Please, let’s not watch it.”
HARRY: (frowns) “Why?”
LOUIS: “Please.”
HARRY: “What’s wrong?”
LOUIS: “I don’t like the beginning.”
HARRY: “Why? What’s wrong?”
LOUIS: “Nothing…just…I don’t like it.”
HARRY: (looking at him in silence) “Because—“

LOUIS: “Because it’s sad, okay? The beginning is sad and it gets me sad.”
HARRY: “Oh…yeah, but it’s both. It’s sad and happy.”
LOUIS: “No, it’s sad. He finds this one person in the entire world that gets him and that makes
him happy and she dies! What’s happy about that?”
HARRY: “They were old. They already lived so much of—“
LOUIS: “She leaves him!”
HARRY: “He finds purpose after. He keeps her in his heart but knows that she would want him to
continue changing lives like he changed hers.”
LOUIS: (shaking his head, looking down) “I don’t like people leaving…I don’t like movies about
people leaving.”
HARRY: (pulls him into a hug, Louis resists but doesn’t push away) “Not all leaving is bad.”
LOUIS: (doesn’t realize he has gripped Harry’s sweatpants in one fist) “All leaving is bad.”
HARRY: (softly) “No—“
LOUIS: (yanks away, frazzled) “What are you saying? You wanna leave now? What is this topic?
Is that why you picked this movie?”
HARRY: (cups his face, looks at him in the eye) “You’re having a moment. Time-out for a bit.
Count to ten, alright?” (lets go, sits back patiently)
LOUIS: “I’m not—“
HARRY: “Count to ten, please.” (Louis opens his mouth to talk, closes it grumpily, glares at the
floor for a full ten seconds while Harry waits) “Do you wanna go pick a movie now?”
LOUIS: “I don’t like you babying me.”
HARRY: “I’m not. I’m reminding you because you told me it helps.”
LOUIS: (reluctantly) “It does help.” (after a deep breath) “We can watch the movie if you
want…”
HARRY: “We can skip the beginning.”
LOUIS: “No, we can watch it. I’ll just tear up a bit but whatever. You can’t say you never cried
watching it.”
HARRY: (smiles at him widely, pushes himself to the head of the bed, taps the space beside him)
“Come. Get comfy. I’ll press play.”
LOUIS: (hesitates, looks at bed in indecision, bites his lip, slowly crawls himself in between
Harry’s legs) “So you can’t see my face…” (sits down, leans back on Harry’s chest) “Okay, play
now.”
HARRY: (surprise that slowly turns into a smile, teasing) “Okie. Try not to sob too hard.”
LOUIS: “Give that pep talk to yourself, loser.”
HARRY: (chuckles, places his chin on top of Louis’ head, wraps his arms around Louis, sighs
contentedly) “You are a little diva.”
Scene 4
[Watching Pixar’s “Up”, Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 10:47pm, Blue Butterfly]
HARRY: (a few minutes in, towards the end of the sad part, sniffles) “Why did we do this again?”
(Louis is silent at first before slowly turning around and burying his face in Harry’s shirt, crying
softly) “Hey, it’s okay. Oh, Lou…”
LOUIS: “I hate you.”
HARRY: (chuckles, caresses Louis’ hair, kisses him once on the head) “I hate me too right now.”
LOUIS: (sniffling, mumbled, still latched onto Harry’s shirt) “If you leave I’ll hate you forever.”
HARRY: (holds him closer, smiling) “Good thing I won’t leave then. Never remember?”
Explain
Chapter 65: Explain
Scene 1
[Harp & Celt Irish Pub, Orlando, 2:16am, Do The Alcohol]
LOUIS: (standing up from the booth they’re all sitting in) “I think I’m gonna hit the hay,
shitheads.”
NIALL: “What? But it’s early.”
HARRY: (sitting down, pained) “Early?”
JOSH: “Bed? What are you, nine? There's stuff to be done, mate. Harry's not even drunk yet. I
have to get this kid drunk or I will literally have no reason to live.”
HARRY: (gulps) "I'm tipsy...ish."
SANDY: “It’s only two. Where’s your stamina, beast mode? What happened to going hard all
night?”
LIAM: “Yeah, Lou-Lou, am I losing my partner in crime?”
LOUIS: (looks at Harry briefly on instinct) “That used to be me but I’ve settled down now.”
LIAM: (laughing, teasing him) “That so? Harry domesticated you?”
HARRY: (embarrassed, looking down) “I didn’t…I can do it hard too…I can stay longer…”
JOSH: (taunting) “Yeah, boy. Louis has to go home to his wife nowadays.”
SANDY: (smirking) “He has you on a leash then?” (to Harry) "You get mad when he comes home
wasted? He's not all cute anymore?"
HARRY: (strangled, obviously out of his element) “No…It’s not like that.”
LOUIS: (calm) “You jealous I have someone who cares about me and can make me happy
without feeding me poison?”
LIAM: “We care about you, Loueh.”
SANDY: (joking around) “Yeah, Louis, we do. That’s why we want you to stay. We care to see
you get laid. You haven't gotten any in months. What's the deal?”
LOUIS: (rolling his eyes) “That makes one of us who gives a shit. Worry about yourselves, boys.
Sandy's about to get hitched and you're not far behind, Josh, so if there's anything that needs
saving, it's your dicks when they find out they'll only have one mungina for the rest of their lives.”
(to Harry) “You wanna go, Hazza?”
HARRY: (uncomfortable) “We can stay if they want…”

JOSH: (laughing) “See, Louis, Harry wants to stay. Harry likes us. Harry's a champ.”
LOUIS: “Harry has had enough of you all for a night.” (ruffles Harry’s hair, still standing, waiting
for him to get up) “Don’t listen to them, curly. They wish they could go home and sleep.”
LIAM: “We can.”
HARRY: “Why can’t they?”
LOUIS: “Because they have to prove to each other they’re still young and strong enough to go all
night.”
SANDY: “I can go all night!”
LOUIS: “This is the cool thing to do. They must do the alcohol or no one will think they’re cool.”
(Harry giggles, relieved, Louis smiles at him) “I’m leaving. I want nachos and bed. You coming?”
HARRY: (under his breath) “Thought you’d never ask and then I'd have to come up with my own
excuse.”
LOUIS: (snorts) “You’d have found a dumb one too.”
HARRY: “Probably.”
JOSH: “Oh, come on, guys! It's the first time we've seen you in weeks! You're more married than
Sandy--We never get any time!”
LOUIS: (quoting, sarcastic) “I’ve been turned into a cow. Can I leave?”
SANDY: “Huh?”
HARRY: (bursts into laughter) “You may go. Anyone else?”
LOUIS: (grinning) “Have some culture, you embarrassments. You work for Disney.” (touches
Harry’s back to guide him out) “Glad I can always count on you.”
HARRY: (fake whispering) “Am I your Kronk?”
LOUIS: (looks at him, very serious) “Attractive, beefy, dumb… Yeah, I suppose you are.” (both
burst into chuckles)
LIAM: (confused) “What?”
NIALL: (to the others) “I swear, they have their own language.”
JOSH: "Married, I tell you! Married!
Scene 2
[Bus Station, Orlando, 2:34am, The Zayn & The Harry]
HARRY: (standing around, waiting) “Never have I ever…had a girlfriend.”
LOUIS: “That doesn’t count. Also, you have, so it’s not even truth.”
HARRY: (pouts) “Never have I ever had sex with a girl.” (smiles proudly)
LOUIS: “You can’t say stuff that’s targeted towards me. It’s like me saying never have I ever
kissed a boy.”
HARRY: “Well, you haven’t…”
LOUIS: (awkward, coughs) “Right… But it’s obviously a cheat because I know you have.”
HARRY: “I thought that was the point of the game, to get people out?”
LOUIS: “No, the point is we get to know each other so stop mentioning things you already know
about me. What are you really curious about?”
HARRY: “Okay, never have I ever…” (smirking) “Graduated college.”
LOUIS: (groans, giving up) “You’re dumb. Never have I ever not graduated college.”
HARRY: “That’s not even a sentence.”
LOUIS: “How would you know? You haven’t graduated college.”
HARRY: (provoking him) “Never have I ever had vanilla sex.”
LOUIS: “That’s a lie and you know it.”
HARRY: "How would you know?"
LOUIS: "What, you're telling me he never woke up one morning, looked at you all sleepy and
toussled and lazily hugged you to his chest, slipped it in, boom, vanilla as fuck?"
HARRY: (stunned) "Can I have one of that with a side of doggie, please?"
LOUIS: (shoves him away) "Never? Really? You guys were this kinky?"
HARRY: (shrugs) "Sixteen year old me was something you wouldn't wanna touch with a stick and
surgery gloves."
LOUIS: (makes a face, snorts) "Yuck. Jail-bait."
HARRY: (winks) "You know it." (pause) “Never have I ever had sex with underwear on—Oh,
wait, nah, I mean, does lingerie count if it has a hole in it...” (Louis is wide-eyed) “Oh, I mean…"
(blushed) "Get to know each other, right? That’s something you didn’t know.”
LOUIS: (shakes his head) “Did I need to know that though?” (sighs) “Never have I ever done
coke.”
HARRY: “Done it.”
LOUIS: “LSD.”
HARRY: “Yup.”
LOUIS: “PCP?”
HARRY: (winces in memory) “Wouldn’t recommend it.”
LOUIS: “Molly.”
HARRY: “I have but so have you so it doesn't count.”
LOUIS: “Shrooms?”
HARRY: “Yeah.”
LOUIS: “Jesus Christ, heroin?”
HARRY: (hesitates) “…Uh.”
LOUIS: “What?! Heroin?! You’ve done heroin? What the fuck, Harry?”
HARRY: “Once. I did it once. At a random thing. Never again. I just…thought I’d give it a try or
something, for the experience. I do a lot of things for just once, so I know what they feel like.”
LOUIS: (freaking out) “Heroin?! You could not live life without knowing what the most
dangerous drug of all felt like?”
HARRY: (small) “I wasn’t in a good state of mind, okay? It was once.”
LOUIS: “That’s even worse—Does Zayn know about this?”
HARRY: (flustered) “No…Neither does Ed. No one in the world knows so if it gets out, I’ll know
who spilled the beans.”
LOUIS: “Sounds like a threat.”
HARRY: “It is. I don’t want Zayn to know. I shouldn’t have told you either. Now you’re judging
me. Now you think I’m some druggie who failed out of school for being dumb and experimenting
with everything. I didn’t do most of those when I was in school—And I’m not a druggie. I’m not a
fake either—I can read it in your face. When I said, drugs are bad, I meant it. I don’t want anyone
to do drugs. I don’t do drugs. I’ve done some drugs because I needed to, I don’t know, I needed to
try it out to not want it—I’m not a bad kid. I’ve never been a bad kid—I don’t…I’ve changed…I
don’t…” (long pause that stretches) "I'm not a druggie..."
LOUIS: (brokenly, forces it out) “Never have I ever kissed a best friend…”
HARRY: (looks away, shakes his head, vexed) “I’ve kissed Zayn if that’s what you’re getting at.”
LOUIS: (biting his lip) “I already guessed that from the way you look at him…” (awkward) “I
wasn’t… That’s not why I said it…”
HARRY: “Why then?”
LOUIS: (anxious) “I wanted an opening…” (wringing his sleeves) “To say…uh, to say…”
HARRY: (nods silently, smiles at him sadly) “I get it.”
LOUIS: (vulnerable, desperate) “Yeah?”

HARRY: “Yeah. I’ve been there. I know how it hurts.”
LOUIS: “It was bad.”
HARRY: “And you don’t wanna talk about it.”
LOUIS: (nods feverishly) “Please.”
HARRY: (walks up to him, hugs Louis to his chest tightly, confesses) “I cheated on Ed because I
was a hundred percent sure I was in love with Zayn and I asked him to give me a chance, one night
to test it out, and because he’s Zayn, he did.”
LOUIS: (awed) “But he’s straight?”
HARRY: “He is. But he told me that nothing matters if you love someone and if I was willing to
risk my stable relationship for a stupid whim, he was willing to risk everything he thought he knew
for that odd chance that it would work out.”
LOUIS: (breathless) “And? Why didn’t it? If you both tried…?”
HARRY: “Because he’s straight and he loves Perrie. That will never change no matter how much
he might want to please me. I’m not gonna force him to live a lie.”
LOUIS: “And you?”
HARRY: “I was right all along... And a broken, fucking mess.”
LOUIS: “I can imagine…”
HARRY: (dreamily) “I used to think it was one or the other. I either loved Ed or Zayn. That was
the end of it all. I didn't know more.” (quiet, kissing Louis in the forehead, lips pressed against his
skin as he speaks) “But I’m starting to think, it has nothing to do with them at all.”
LOUIS: (snorts under his breath) “Fuck best friends.”
HARRY: (pulls away, still hugging him, raises an eyebrow, amused) “As in, not literally, I’m
assuming…” (Louis realizes, both laugh) "But yeah, best friends suck."
LOUIS: (sighs, serious, confessing as he walks away) “I guess what I’m trying to figure out is if I
was the Zayn of my story or the you…”
Even
Chapter 66: Even
[Cocoa Beach, Orlando, 11:21pm, Ghost Stories]
LOUIS: (grabs the stick that Harry is roasting above the campfire) “You’re doing it wrong.”
ZAYN: “Alright there, Hermione.”
NIALL: “Louis gets very defensive over marshmallow technique.”
JOSH: "What's up with Harry's hair again? Is anyone gonna fill me in on that?"
ZAYN: "Louis braided it."
SANDY: (sarcastic) "Of course, he did."
ELEANOR: "No, really. He's getting good now. I've taught him some techniques."
LIAM: "Is this true, Harry? Does your girlfriend do your hair too? I heard she picks your outfits in
the morning."
HARRY: (under his breath, teasing) "Fuck off."
LIAM: (definitely heard it, amused) "What?"
HARRY: (coughing, louder) "I said, yes. Louis does my hair and picks my outfits. What does your
girlfriend do, other than cheat?"
JOSH: (jeering) "Ooh!"
SOPHIA: "The girlfriend is sitting right here, you know."
LIAM: "That was low, Styles, so low even Louis has to bend down to pick it up..."
LOUIS: (sarcastic) "Jokes about my height, so original, so new, so fresh!"
LIAM: "But I guess that's what Harry wants, eh? Louis bent over?"
SANDY: "Ooh! This is getting nuts!"
LIAM: "But wait, there's more--"
SOPHIA: (dry, looking at her nails) "I love that you're more worried about insulting him than
defending me."
LIAM: "Being gay isn't an insult, darling, neither is liking Louis' ass. We all do."
SANDY: "Truth. You'd have to be blind not to."
JOSH: "Even then you could still grope him a little."

HARRY: (sighed, joking) "I wish..." (Sandy and Josh laugh out loud)
LOUIS: "Lo-ve-ly."
LIAM: "See?" (afterthought, shrugging) "Plus, you did cheat. You're good at that."
ELEANOR: "Ooh! Christ, I might drop dead like a koala from all this stress."
SOPHIA: (pushes Liam away, humphs) "Keep doing this and I'll show you how good I am."
(muttered) "Dick."
NIALL: "Tread lightly, soldier. She doesn't have a sense of humor." (Sophia smacks him in the
arm, Niall chuckles) "We kid. It's Disney culture--humiliate the other person publicly to prove you
care. You'll get used to it. Harry did."
HARRY: (grinning) "Or you never get used to it but swallow the pain and cry yourself to sleep
later on. That works too."
ELEANOR: "Retweet."
LOUIS: (ignoring them, trying to guide Harry's hand on the smore) “I wanna do this! You fail.
You're a failure.”
HARRY: “No, wait…” (tries pulling it away, Louis doesn’t budge) “You have to take it off—“
(marshmallow catches on fire) “See what you did?”
LOUIS: (pulls it, blows it off, marshmallow is crisp and black) “You’re supposed to do it this
way.”
HARRY: “No, you burned it.”
LOUIS: “It’s better burned.” (places it on the cracker carefully) “You don’t know anything.”
HARRY: (sulking) “Well, I don’t like it burned.”
LOUIS: “Well, I don’t like you.”
PERRIE: “They’re like children.”
HARRY: “Burn yours.” (puts a new marshmallow on the stick) “I’ll have mine not brunt.”
LOUIS: “No.” (tries to grab Harry’s stick again) “Give me!”
HARRY: (fights back) “Louis, this is my stick!”
ELEANOR: “Yup, children.”
NIALL: “Louis, let Harry eat the marshmallow however he wants to.”
LOUIS: “He’s doing it wrong.”
HARRY: (having finally won the stick, points his tongue out) “Go away, attractive person. Let me
eat my pain.”
LOUIS: (pushes Harry slightly, marshmallow falls on the fire, burns) “Ha! That’s what you get.”
HARRY: (pushes him back) “Ha!” (to Niall) “Niall, Louis is being mean.”
LOUIS: “Harry is being wrong.”
ELEANOR: “You’re both being kids.”
LOUIS: “Shut up, Eleanor. You’re not my real mother!”
ELEANOR: “If I were, I’d have hung myself already…”
ZAYN: “If you’re going to keep wasting marshmallows then no more for both of you.”
HARRY: (gasps, to Louis) “Do you want me to hate you?”
SOPHIA: “Is this how they always get drunk?”
ALL: (collectively) “Yup.”
NIALL: “Yes. They regress back to being five. Normally they’d be in onesies by now.”
LOUIS: “Good luck trying to get Harry to stay awake past two.”
HARRY: “Hey, I sleep when you sleep.”
LOUIS: “I sleep because you’re asleep.”
HARRY: “That’s not true. You suggest going to bed first.”
LOUIS: “Because otherwise you’ll sleep on the floor and I’ll have to drag your fat body on the
bed.”
ALL: “Guys…”
HARRY: “Liar!”
ALL: “Guys…”
LOUIS: “Fatty!”
PERRIE: “How do they not kill each other every night?”
LOUIS: “Harry’s just being stubborn to show off.”
HARRY: “Louis is being mean because he’s…”
LOUIS: (smirking) “Because what, smart-ass?”
HARRY: “Because you’re mean!”
LOUIS: (sarcastic) “So smart. Isn’t he so smart?” (patting his head ironically) “Smart Harry.”
HARRY: (pushes him, Louis falls on his ass) “Go away.”
LOUIS: (shocked) “You pushed me…” (screaming) “Niall!”
NIALL: (amused) “Bad Harry.”
ZAYN: (rolling his eyes) “Go to the corner, Harry.”
PERRIE: “We’re outside but good thinking. One day you’ll make a good father and—”
ZAYN: “We’re not having a baby, Perrie.”
PERRIE: (pouts) “But Zayn Jr. With big eyes and little nails.”
ZAYN: “No.”
LOUIS: (mock crying, laying on the grass, having a tantrum) “I am hurt now. You hurt me! I hate
you! You pushed me!”
HARRY: (crawling on all fours towards him) “Oh no…” (slumps on top of him in an awkward
hug) “I’m sorry…”
LOUIS: “Get off. You’re fat. Stop eating Chipotle.”
HARRY: (giggling) “Not until you forgive me.”
JOSH: “Wow. Just wow.”
SANDY: “You have yet to see them playing King’s cup.”
LIAM: “I love that game! Let’s play. Let’s play. I always end up kissing random places playing
that game.”
SOPHIA: “That so…?”
LIAM: (sheepish, scratching his neck) “I mean…”
NIALL: “Yeah, buddy…” (catches Sophia’s eyes) “He means…” (gulping) “I’ll be over here
where couples aren’t fighting…” (moves next to Sandy and Josh)
SOPHIA: “What do you kiss exactly?”
SANDY: “Strange places!”
JOSH: “Sandy’s ass for example.”
SOPHIA: “You kissed his ass and then my face?!”
LIAM: “Well…”
SANDY: “Hey, he kisses your vagina…what makes you think that’s cleaner than my ass?”
(wincing) “Should not have said that.”
JOSH: “Yikes. Is there a way to retweet without it being public?”

NIALL: “I’ll be over here where people aren’t about to be slaughtered.” (moves next to Zayn)
“Hey.”
ZAYN: “Hey.”
NIALL: “Pregnant yet?”
LIAM: “In his defense…” (Sophia turns to him appalled, Liam coughs) “Nothing. Nothing can be
said in his defense.” (coughs) “Let’s play King’s cup!”
SANDY: “Playing King’s cup with those two is like asking for your cards to be ripped to pieces.
Last time they couldn’t decide on what six was—“
LOUIS: (screaming) “Six dicks! Guys drink.”
HARRY: “No, six chicks.”
ELEANOR: (nodding) “Six chicks.”
HARRY: “Ha!”
JOSH: “Six is actually Captain Dickhead. Jack is guys. Queen is girls.”
NIALL: (shaking his head) “Let’s not start this debate. It never ends.”
LIAM: “I thought Jack was make a rule?”
NIALL: (exasperated) “Never—“
SANDY: “That’s six!”
NIALL: (sighing) “Ends…”
ELEANOR: “Harry, will you help us with something?”
HARRY: “Huh?” (sits up, crawls back to the bonfire) “What?”
PERRIE: “Well, we were debating a very important issue.”
ZAYN: “I can’t wait to hear this one. Unless it’s about babies, then I can wait about nine more
years.”
PERRIE: “Nine?!”
HARRY: “What issue?”
LOUIS: (whiny) “Harry!” (sulky) “Come back, you traitor! I'm not done being squished to death.”
ELEANOR: “Who is the most attractive boy of the bunch, Harry? See, we girls can’t decide but
having a boy’s opinion might help.”
LOUIS: (suddenly very interested in the conversation, walks himself back, slumps next to Harry,
half on his lap, Harry shuffles to accommodate him instinctually, without thinking twice) “How
important. The pressing issues of Eleanor’s middle school brain. Next let's play seven minutes in
heaven so Eleanor can touch some peen.”
ELEANOR: "Let's. Seven would be quite enough for Louis. He'd get in two rounds!"
LIAM: “Wait, wait! As much as I care about how quickly Louis cums, I’m way more interested in
this other, more pressing concern. Who is the most attractive, Harry? PS, the right answer is me.”
ZAYN: (dry) “Spoiler alert.”
SANDY: “More like plot twist, I didn’t see that coming.”
LIAM: (smacks him) “Away, jealous beast.”
JOSH: (sipping on his beer, to Harry) “I'd think twice about this, Harry. Whose Instagram do you
usually stalk? Because that should be the answer right there.”
LIAM: "No one gives a shit about your selfies, Josh. No one."
HARRY: "I do..." (people turn towards him, Harry can barely hold back his smirk) "When I'm in
bed with one hand down the sheets..."
ALL: "Oh! Yuck!"
LOUIS: (pinches Harry's leg until Harry winces) "Don't be gross."
HARRY: (chuckles, hugging him one-handedly) "Don't be jelly."
NIALL: (before Louis can reply, cuts in) "Pick, Harry, pick. I can't handle this suspense."
HARRY: “Uh…Well…I feel like I should say me—“ (everyone bursts out laughing) “No, no, no.
Not like that. But if I say me, I’m not offending anyone. It’s the safe answer.”
PERRIE: “You can’t pick yourself!”
ELEANOR: “Yeah, that’s cheating. It has to be someone else.”
HARRY: “You didn’t specify this in the rules.”
SOPHIA: “It was an asterix. Everyone knows that.”
ZAYN: (texting Liam) “Make sure he picks you.”
LIAM: (texting Zayn) “Why?”
ZAYN: (texting Liam) “$100, Louis will flip the hell out. He's already pissy.”
LIAM: (texting Zayn) “You’re on.” (out loud) “So, Harry…” (smiles at him flirtatiously) “Who is
the most attractive?”
HARRY: “Let me think. Let me think...”
LOUIS: (scrunches the plastic cup he’s holding but keeps his eyes on the floor) “Any more beer?”
HARRY: “I’d like some of that too.”

ELEANOR: “Answer the question first!”
HARRY: “Now, you’re putting me on the spot.”
LIAM: (standing up suddenly) “I think he needs help. You need help? He needs help. He needs to
be reminded of things.” (takes off his t-shirt, the girls coo, Josh wolf-whistles) “Right, Harry?”
(rubs his abdomen, trailing his fingers down his happy trail to lower the waistband of his shorts
enough for the top of his crotch hair to be out) “Feel free to take it on a test-drive anytime,
darling.”
SOPHIA: (growled) “Liam James Payne.”
HARRY: (shell-shocked, eyeing him) “Uh… It what exactly? Because I’m not shy about these
things…”
ZAYN: (mock shock, imitating Sophia) “Harry Edward Styles!”
NIALL: (drinking beer from his cup, mumbles around it) “Someone will die tonight…”
JOSH: “Yeah, buddy. Look at those washboard abs. Pick him already, Styles, put us out of our
misery.”
ELEANOR: “That’s manly right there. Hot sex.”
SOPHIA: “Excuse me?”
ELEANOR: (almost like she had forgotten) “Uh, I was just…uh, making light of the situation…”
(squeaks) “Sorry…”
HARRY: (flushed) “I don’t think any of this is necessary, not that I don't appreciate the visuals.”
(grinning) “But I was gonna pick you anyway—”
LOUIS: (suddenly, interjecting loudly) “Well, if we’re all showing off our assets to bribe the
judge…” (stands next to Liam but facing away from Harry, drops down his pants so that his tight,
black boxers are showing and stretched around his butt when he bends to lower his jeans) “I’m the
master of underhanded victories, don’t try to outdo me, Payne.”
ELEANOR: (hollering, collapsing on her back dramatically) “Oh my god, what is this life?”
PERRIE: "Koalanor has dropped dead from stress."
SANDY: (to Liam) “You have been taught a lesson, boy. Sit your ass down and worship the
master.” (high-fives Louis) “Good man. Good man. Had my money on you from the start.”
NIALL: (raised eyebrows, stressed) “This situation is changing so fast, I’m getting whiplash…”
PERRIE: (eyes going from Harry to Louis) “Tell me about it.”
HARRY: (red in the face, flustered) “Jesus Christ.” (snaps his eyes down after having ogled
Louis’ behind for a good thirty seconds) “I think we should stop with this before things get really
hard, pun very much intended…”
LOUIS: (pulls his pants up smugly, walks back to Harry, slumps down again) “He has a boner. I
win. My cup is empty. What else is new?” (looks around with a smirk, Harry is completely flushed
and embarrassed, the rest are gaping) “Oh, come on, of course, he’d have picked me? Are you
really that surprised?”
HARRY: (mumbled through his teeth) “Accurate. But I am going to add the aside that I don’t have
a boner…”
LOUIS: “Prove it. Stand up.”
HARRY: (palms his face while the group voices encouragements, reluctantly, blushing) “I have
the chubs.”
LOUIS: (bursts out laughing in surprise) “Still on the fence then?”
HARRY: (peeking one eye out of his fingers) “Another look wouldn’t hurt?”
LOUIS: (more laughing, smacking him in the head) “Why do I feel like you only pretended to pick
Liam first?”
HARRY: (shrugs, winks at him) “You give me too much credit.

Earthquake
Chapter 67: Earthquake (TM26)
Scene 1
[Cocoa Beach, Orlando, 3:21am, When It Comes to Types, Fighting Beats Normal]
LOUIS: (sitting on the sand, feet getting wet by the waves) “Where you really going to say Liam?”
HARRY: (beside him, leaning back on his hands, both barefoot) “Hmm?”
LOUIS: “When Eleanor asked, about who’s the most attractive?” (makes shape in the sand with
his finger) “Was it really gonna be Liam?”
HARRY: (shrugs) “He’s attractive.”
LOUIS: (bites his lip, nods jerkily) “Right, yeah. You’ve always liked him…”
HARRY: (chuckles) “I like how he looks. And he’s fun to hang out with. A bit inappropriate but I
appreciate that he doesn’t treat me differently just because I’m gay. He pokes at me the same way
he makes fun of you guys. I like that.” (catching the look on Louis’ face) “That doesn’t mean I’m
crushing on him.” (gathers some sand between his legs in a mound) “Besides, Sophia would kill
me. She almost killed Sandy today.” (softer) “I shouldn’t have said that about her…I feel bad. She
wasn’t having a good time and I… I just feel bad. This is why I don’t drink.”
LOUIS: (snort) “I was proud of you.” (Harry nudges him with his shoulder) “I was! You were
smooth and funny—Who would have thought!” (Harry rolls his eyes) “Still, you should sleep with
an eye open tonight.”
HARRY: “Why are we not asleep?”
LOUIS: “Do you wanna go back?”
HARRY: “Nah…” (comfortable) “I think we’re both trying to prove to ourselves that the other
goes to sleep earlier.” (laughs shortly) “But I love this too, the beach. We don’t get to come here
often. It’s so nice to be outside.”
LOUIS: “The water’s warm.”
HARRY: “Are you suggesting we swim?”
LOUIS: “We could always go skinny-dipping. Oh god, this is suddenly a trashy, commercial
romance.”
HARRY: (amused) “No skinny-dipping unless you want a repeat of earlier this night.”
LOUIS: “Did you really get the chubes?”
HARRY: (shrugs, semi-uncomfortable) “You have a nice ass. I’d be lying if I said I never sneak
glances.”
LOUIS: (smug) “So yes?”
HARRY: “You didn’t want me to? I mean, what did you expect, pulling that trick? I’m not a Saint.
Like you, I’m a guy. I was horny and drunk. You’d have gotten one if Eleanor had flashed her
behind.” (Louis doesn’t respond, frowning in thought, Harry falters somewhat) “Right?”
LOUIS: (unconvincing) “Right. I mean, I don’t know. It’s not that exciting with her. I’ve seen her
like that before so…” (shrugs) “Gets stale, I suppose. I’d get stale too if you saw me all the time.”
HARRY: “I don’t agree.”
LOUIS: (rolling his eyes) “I’m flattered.”
HARRY: “No, really, I don’t agree. If you find someone attractive, if they’re your type and you
can’t help checking them out, if someone is that enticing to you, they never get stale. First time,
twenty-first time, they always have that same effect. You never get used to the idea of having
them because you’re always in that state of bliss and disbelief at the sheer privilege of being able to
touch them intimately and see them so vulnerable.”
LOUIS: (pleased, smirking) “Is that how you feel about my bum?”
HARRY: (catches himself, blushes, coughs) “I mean…I was thinking of a hypothetical situation of
—of nothing too specific. What it’d be like to have a hook-up buddy, like you and Eleanor…”
LOUIS: “I said that if you saw me all the time, you’d get bored and you said no.” (Harry flushes
further) “Then you offered that explanation…”
HARRY: (caught, flustered) “I think you’re uh, extremely…” (opens, closes his mouth, struggles)
LOUIS: “Extremely what?”
HARRY: “Extremely my type…”
LOUIS: “I thought you liked Liam.”
HARRY: “I think Liam’s attractive in a way most can agree. You are especially attractive to me.
You’re my type.”
LOUIS: (giddy) “What’s that type? I thought you liked red-heads.”
HARRY: “Ha. Well, Ed wasn’t necessarily my type looks-wise.”
LOUIS: “Then why did you date him?”
HARRY: “Because I loved lots of things about him. He was my best friend. So I almost fell for
him gradually, learned to appreciate everything else, the whole package. Looks aren’t that
important when you already know someone. They’re a first signal of sorts. But no relationship will
last solely on being pretty. It’s superficial, means nothing in the long run.”
LOUIS: (nods) “So I might be your type but you wouldn’t necessarily date me because I’d be a
sucky boyfriend?”
HARRY: (evading) “You’d be a straight, sucky boyfriend so horrible really.” (chuckling,

changing topics) “What’s your type? I’d guess independent girls who can take a joke.”
LOUIS: “Don’t know…Haven’t put much thought in it.”
HARRY: “How come?”
LOUIS: “I don’t date. I’ve had one girlfriend. Back in high school, long time ago. And that was a
relationship of convenience. We were both in need of it as a status thing. I wasn’t all too happy with
her. But then again I wasn’t happy much in high school. Ever since we broke up, it’s always been
one-night stand after one-night stand with a few hook up buddies sprinkled here and there. I don’t
need a type to hook up. When I’m drunk, I don’t even need standards.” (chuckles in self-pity) “It
doesn’t matter much. Whoever’ll have me…” (shrugs) “It’s kinda gross to think about…”
HARRY: (gentle) “…I wouldn’t know. Never done it. It can’t be that bad.” (looks at the sea) “For
me, it’s been one relationship, that’s it. I haven’t even kissed anyone else…” (blushing) “Well,
other than Zayn, but that’s special. That doesn’t count. It’s like a special, perfect night I had once
randomly out of the blue. Not real life.”
LOUIS: (unconvinced) “Uh-huh… Would you sleep with him again?”
HARRY: “…Yeah. Not gonna lie. No use lying. I’m single right now and he’s attractive and he’s
off-limits and we’ve already established I have no morals so…I would probably. Out of
desperation. Then I’d feel extremely guilty, go into self-punishing mode. Break again, cry a lot,
hate him for… whatever the reason he slept with me was.” (snorts) “I’m pathetic.”
LOUIS: “We’re both pathetic.”(after some silence) “How did you find out you were gay?”
HARRY: “I don’t remember. As in I don’t remember a specific moment of epiphany.” (snorts)

“Zayn probably. We’re childhood friends and at some point, it started to be a little more gray-area
on my side. I noticed all these things about him. I guess that’s when I wondered what it’d be like
with a guy? Not necessarily him but any guy. When I came out to him, I was shaking all over. I had
a panic attack of sorts. I have some of those when I’m scared. I was scared to lose him.”
LOUIS: (frantic, almost panicked) “What happened after?”
HARRY: “He hugged me. He told me we’d figure it out. That he’d protect me.” (smiles) “He
thought I was scared of the bullying that was to come. It didn’t even cross his mind that I would
think he would reject me because it didn’t cross his mind to reject me. He’s so gentle with me—
My mom used to say that he spoiled me, ruined all odds of me finding someone better. She’s not
wrong in a way. Depends on what you call better.”
LOUIS: (whispered) “Lucky…”
HARRY: “I am. I’m extremely lucky to have him. The one constant in my life. He’s always
watched out for me.”
LOUIS: (withdrawn) “What does it feel like…to be in a relationship, like what do you feel towards
these people you’d date?”
HARRY: “Warmth. Comfort. Safety. You wanna be around them. You feel at ease—it’s easy to
be yourself. They make you happy. You wake up and smile because they’re the first thought in
your mind. They understand you. It’s an addicting feeling. No wonder it’s followed by despair and
depression when the break up hits. It’s like having heaven for a split second and then it being
ripped away violently.”
LOUIS: (blurts) “You’re amazing, you should know that.”
HARRY: (surprised, thinking Louis is joking) “Huh?”
LOUIS: (looking at the sand) “I tease you a lot and call you a loser but I want you to know that I
think you’re a really good person.” (hugs his knees to his chest) “For what it’s worth, I think Ed
made a mistake.”
HARRY: (touched, emotional) “You don’t even know why we broke up… I cheated!”
LOUIS: “It doesn’t matter. He made a mistake to let you go. He’ll have a tough time finding
someone like you again.”
HARRY: (blinks the wetness out of his eyes, snorts) “Wow, we have really turned into a crappy,
teenage movie.”
LOUIS: (laughing) “Yeah, yeah we have. Blame my drunk self. I get all sentimental and wanna
talk in sentences that would sound good narrated as exposition in the ending scenes of some
romance.”
HARRY: (smiles genuinely, looking at Louis) “Thank you, for saying that. It made my night.”
LOUIS: “Not me flashing my bum?”
HARRY: “That’s a close second.”
LOUIS: (laying on the sand, looking at the sky, wondering out loud) “It’d be easy to date you.”
HARRY: (head cocked sideways) “What do you mean?”
LOUIS: “You don’t get fussy. You don’t nag. You take things well. You’re easy to date.”
HARRY: (nervous) “I don’t think Ed would agree with you there.”
LOUIS: “Ed maybe didn’t have the balls.”
HARRY: (chuckling) “Maybe.” (biting his lip, risking it) “And you do?”
LOUIS: (looks at him sideways, silent, just staring intensely) “Clearly not.” (back to looking at the
sky) “I’m too much of a coward when it comes to these things. We have already established that.”
HARRY: (laying beside him, also on his back) “Not all heroes are made in a day. I should know.”
LOUIS: (rolling his eyes, huge smile on his face) “You’re gonna milk that hero card until you’re
on your deathbed.”
HARRY: “Psh, please. Heroes never die. Heroes become immortal.”
Scene 2
[Cocoa Beach, Orlando, 4:51am, TM45 - Attract]
HARRY: (both laying by the beach) “Louis.” (shaking him slightly) “Hey, sleepy-head.”
LOUIS: (half-asleep) “Mhmm…”
HARRY: “Let’s get to the tent, love.”
LOUIS: (shaking his head, mumbled) “No…” (wriggles, smiling) “But call me ‘love’ again.”
HARRY: (chuckling) “Come on. It’ll be more comfortable. You can fall back asleep in three
seconds. Come, love.”
LOUIS: “I wanna stay here.”
HARRY: “I’ll carry you if you just sit up for me. PS, you slept first but who’s counting? Me, I am,
but yeah.”
LOUIS: (opens his eyes, squints) “Let’s sleep right here, next to the beach.” (touches his hand)
“Please?”
HARRY: (thinks about it) “Right here, in the sand? With crabs and who knows what?”
LOUIS: “And you.”
HARRY: (sighs) “I’ll go get us a blanket.” (further away) “This is a bad idea.”
LOUIS: (smiles, snuggles back in the sand) “Come back.”
HARRY: (runs to the camp where several tents are set up, grabs a blanket from one of the bags,
runs back) “We’ll be sore tomorrow, that’s for sure.” (sits down, flings open the blanket, covers
both of their torsos but leaves their legs exposed so the blanket won’t get wet) “We’ll have sand up
our nostrils.”
LOUIS: (without opening his eyes, grabs Harry’s shirt, pulls him down) “Stop whining.”
HARRY: (lays next to him) “I’ll see you tomorrow for lunch if the sun doesn’t wake us up.”
LOUIS: (snuggles closer to him, cheek on Harry’s chest, pulls the blanket over their heads) “Or a
beached whale squishes us under its weight.”
HARRY: (chuckles warmly) “Or that.”
LOUIS: (mid-yawn, sleepy) “See you tomorrow, loser.”
HARRY: (minutes later, Harry’s still awake, running his hands through Louis’ hair, whispers) “I
think you’re very special, Lou. I’m starting to really like you in a bad way…In that crying way…”
(lower) “I wish I could do something about it…”
Scene 3
[Cocoa Beach, Orlando, 9:21am, TM07 - Horn Drill]
LIAM: (having spotted Louis and Harry, still asleep under the blanket, next to the beach)
“They’re here. They’re here.”
NIALL: (walks to him, stretching) “You found them?”

LIAM: “Yeah, they haven’t died. Or if they have we have the bodies.”
ELEANOR: (runs over to stand next to them) “Are they sleeping?”
LIAM: (lowers his voice) “Looks like it. They would pass out half-wet.”
NIALL: “I don’t think it was accidental.”
ELEANOR: “Should we wake them up for breakfast?”
NIALL: (kneels down, pulls the blanket back) “Louis?”
LOUIS: (still on Harry’s chest, squirms, frowning at the light, whining) “Go die…”
NIALL: (pretending to be disappointed) “He’s alive…Yippee.”
HARRY: (yawns, moves his hand to rest on Louis’ eyes, shield him) “Give us another hour?”
LOUIS: (calmed, burying his face further in Harry’s shirt) “Or four.”
ELEANOR: “They’re so cute though! Can I seat here and watch?”
LIAM: “We should drag them in the water! Or cover them in sand.”
NIALL: “Liam, leave before Louis punches your eyeballs out of your ass. I’m surprised he hasn’t
yet.”
HARRY: (soft chuckle, eyes closed) “Compromise at two hours.” (pulls the blanket back on top of
them)
ELEANOR: (walking away) “They were cuddling.”
LIAM: “Yup.”
ELEANOR: “Don’t you think that’s strange?”
LIAM: “Nah, Louis crashes over at Harry’s a lot so I assume it’s become somewhat of a routine.”
ELEANOR: “What is going on there?”
NIALL: (shrugs) “They’re friends. They have this weird bond that only they understand. They’re
somehow always on the same page. It’s really interesting to see.”
LIAM: “That meltdown brought them together, huh?”
NIALL: “I have no idea. But let sleeping dogs lie. If Louis is going to figure anything out, it’ll be
when he’s ready. No use pushing agendas. We just have to wait and be supportive whatever
happens.”
LIAM: “What’s the worse that can happen?”
NIALL: “Zayn kills him.”
ELEANOR: “Is that really a bad thing though?”

NIALL: “Eleanor.”
ELEANOR: “I mean, really…?”

Evolve
Chapter 68: Evolve
[Black Chapel Tattoo Studio, Orlando, 4:30pm, Crotch Tattoos]
DAN: (behind the main counter, Louis in front of him standing) “I’ve always known you were a
bit…” (Louis raises his eyebrows in questioning) “You know…” (looks pointedly at Harry, who’s
in the other room, getting a tattoo) “Free-spirited…”
LOUIS: (realizing) “Oh…” (smiling, unbothered) “No, no, I’m not. He’s a close friend.”
DAN: “But he is…right?”
LOUIS: “Yeah, he is.” (teasing) “Why, you want him now? I thought we had something here.
You cheating on me already?”
DAN: (laughing) “Nah, I only have eyes for the boy’s whose every part of the body I’ve seen.”
LOUIS: “I was drunk for the crotch tattoo so I suppose that shouldn’t count.”
DAN: “Saw it nonetheless, didn’t I?” (Louis laughs) “No, I was thinking of a friend of mine who’s
gay. Nick—Do you know Nick? Have I introduced you? Well, he came out recently and he’s
into…whatever your friend seems to be into.”
LOUIS: “Which is what?”
DAN: “Dicks to start with.”
LOUIS: “Anything else?”
DAN: “Music.”
LOUIS: (exaggerating in sarcasm) “My god. Soul-mates!’
DAN: (rolls his eyes) “I thought it’d be nice to get him to meet people. He just moved here and
Harry seems nice enough. Show him around, stuff like that.”
LOUIS: “You wanna set Haz up on a blind date? I’ll let you know he doesn’t do well with
strangers—or anyone that’s not me really.”
DAN: (shrugs) “Who knows? They might like each other. Let him know. Maybe he’ll be
interested.” (Louis frowns without noticing) “Doesn’t have to be a blind date. They could just chill
—We could all chill together if he doesn’t feel comfortable one on one. They can meet and if they
hit it off, who knows, get friendly.”
LOUIS: (nods sarcastically) “Get friendly, yes, yes…Is that code for butt-sex?”
DAN: “Oh, don’t be a dad. Who’ll say ‘no’ to getting action?”
LOUIS: “He will.”

DAN: “You mean you will for him.”
LOUIS: (defensive) “If I have to then I just might.”
DAN: “You’ll ask him though? Let him make the decision? It doesn’t cost much to ask.”
LOUIS: “Sure, sure. But don’t get your hopes up. Like I said, he’s shy.”
DAN: “He didn’t seem it. Maybe it’s time for him to fly out the nest, mother hen.”
LOUIS: “Hens don’t fly, nor does anything that hens birth so that simile is confused. And so are
you. He is shy—the shyest. He doesn’t know what to do with himself eighty-seven percent of the
time. He gets intimidated. He needs me to calm him down. I don’t want him stressed for no
reason.”
DAN: “Is this Luke number three? Have you adopted a third child? Speaking of Luke, is he dating
anyone?”
LOUIS: “Man, stop being a predator. He’s a child. He doesn’t date. Especially not your tatted,
degenerate, bad boy friends.”
DAN: “Dad, stop, dad, please.”
LOUIS: (gives him his middle finger) “I will if you stop playing match-maker. You suck at it.”
DAN: “You didn’t like Julia?”
LOUIS: “She scared me! And she wanted to shove a dildo up my ass.”
DAN: (laughing, leaning on the table) “And you were not into that?”
LOUIS: (loud) “No! Not at all… Especially not with someone who doesn’t have one.”
HARRY: (entering the room, palming his bandaged arm, smiling) “Have a what?”
DAN: “A dick.”
HARRY: “Are we talking about Louis?”
LOUIS: (turning towards him) “Ha-ha. Very funny, Harold. Never mind him. He’s an idiot. How
did it go?”
HARRY: “It was fine. Used to it by now. Tickles.” (shows him his arm) “You like it?” (looks up
at him with hopeful eyes) “It’s good?”
LOUIS: (gently touches his arm, looks at it closer) “It’s cool.” (smiles) “Did it hurt much?”
(caressing on top the wrapping instinctually with his thumb) “Are you hurting?”
HARRY: (half shrug, not pulling his arm away) “Nah, but I missed you towards the end…”
(pouty) “You left me to hang out with your other, more important friends.”
LOUIS: (chuckles) “If you knew what I was doing you’d thank me. I was saving your life.”
HARRY: “That so?”

DAN: “By keeping you to himself forever.”
HARRY: (laughs, before Louis can interject) “I don’t mind that. I’m fine being with him for as
long as he’ll have me.” (Louis blushes instinctively) “I gotta go pay but I’ll be back soon.” (on his
way, turns around) “We’ll get McDo?”
DAN: (eyes twinkling in amusement) “McDo?”
LOUIS: “It’s the way the french say it. He likes being faux french and I put up with it so he’ll take
me to Paris.”
DAN: (grinning) “You are so dating him.”
LOUIS: “I’m not. You think I would have brought him here if I were. You’d all have humiliated
me.”
DAN: “But he’s so everything I’d imagine you’d go for, pretty face, heavily tattooed, tall enough
to hug you at night, very well-dressed, can put up with your sass…”
LOUIS: “By that definition I should be dating you too. Oh wait, you said pretty face, never mind.”
DAN: (sarcastic) “I’m insulted.”
LOUIS: “He’s also a boy, you missed that part. There’s that small issue of me being straight, you
know, not attracted to boys.”
DAN: (rolls his eyes) “Sexuality is fluid.”
LOUIS: “Why does everyone keep saying that?”
DAN: “Because it is. It’s never set in stone and it changes when you stop worrying over what’s
right and wrong. Hell, there’s people attracted to chairs, I mean…”
LOUIS: “That’s weird. I don’t know how that would even…come to fruition.”
HARRY: (skipping in, pouncing on Louis, sing-song) “I’m ba-ack! Fries time.”
LOUIS: (doesn’t push him away) “Do me a favor and tell Dan here we’re not dating.”
HARRY: (mock shock, joking) “We’re not?! But we do the sex. Are you using me just for the sex?
Oh, Lou-ee!”
DAN: (bursting into laughter) “I love him!”
LOUIS: (shoves Harry away) “Fine, be like that. Utterly betrayed.”
HARRY: (smiling, to Dan) “We’re not. Louis likes them with boobies and even though I have
twice the amount of those any woman has, he doesn’t like me like that.”
DAN: “You have four tits?”
HARRY: “I have four tits. I’m like a goat-human hybrid. It’s a special power really.”
DAN: “Do show.”

LOUIS: (holds Harry’s shirt down as he’s about to raise it) “Let’s not. I’d like to leave this place
with his dignity.”
DAN: “Not yours though?”
LOUIS: (dragging Harry out the door by his shirt) “Well, you took mine so what can you do
about that?”
DAN: (chuckles) “Come back soon, guys. I have a feeling Styles isn’t done vandalizing his arm.”
(afterthought) “Oh and Lou, Sandy, Josh, Nick and I are going surfing next weekend. You coming
or what?”
HARRY: (excited, raises his hand) “Oooh, can I come? Invite me too!”
LOUIS: “Do you know how to surf?”
DAN: “‘Course you can. I figured Louis didn’t go anywhere without you.”
HARRY: (pouty) “He does go places sometimes and leaves me all alone—“
LOUIS: “O-kay then, attention whore, I think that was a rhetorical question. Say bye now.”
HARRY: “Bye Dan. See you naked when we’re surfing.” (exaggerated wink) “I’ll be naked
too…” (Louis yanking him further, Harry chuckles) “In my yellow short shorts.” (nodding proudly)
“You’ll like them…I’ll be tanning my thighs.”
DAN: (laughing) “Can’t wait, pretty boy.”
LOUIS: (grumbling under his breath) “You used to be shy ugh, why did I ever teach you stuff,
Mr. banana boy shorts… Tanning your thighs—ha—I’ll tan your face with my balls…”
HARRY: “What?”
LOUIS: “Nothing. Nothing.”
HARRY: (turning around to walk beside Louis finally) “I like him.
DAN: (shouting from the inside) “Harry, ask Louis about his crotch tattoo!”
HARRY: (head flips around so fast his neck cracks) “You have a crotch tattoo?! I want a crotch
tattoo!”
LOUIS: (not amused) “I’ll kill him. One of these days, he’ll fall off his surfboard and perhaps get
eaten by a shark, or me.”
HARRY: “Yes, but that crotch tattoo…Am I getting the tour or what?”
LOUIS: (shoves him away, Harry stumbles, chuckling) “I’d be careful there, Styles. Stick your
head out a little further and it might just get chopped off.”
HARRY: “Next time I’ll get a crotch tattoo!”
LOUIS: (groans) “Why do I bring you places?”

Ebola
Chapter 69: Ebola
[Harry - Louis Texting Thread]
Scene 1
05/27/14 17:23
[LOUIS] I’m in the bathroom.
[HARRY] Cool.
[LOUIS] Girls bathroom.
[HARRY] Why???
[LOUIS] Got confused.
[LOUIS] Then trapped.
[LOUIS] Help.
[HARRY] LOL!!! Get out?
[LOUIS] Can’t. Females have invaded the main area.
[LOUIS] PS: Girls poop too. :O
[HARRY] :O
[LOUIS] One made a poop joke.
[HARRY] :O
[LOUIS] I can’t shit until these girls stop doing their make-up. I’ll be stuck here for eternity.
Entertain me.
[HARRY] How?
[LOUIS] Dik pik.
[HARRY] In the current circumstances, it’d be easier for you to do that…
[LOUIS] How is that entertaining for me?
[HARRY] :O
[LOUIS] Stop with that smiley.
[HARRY] No, before it was shock, now it’s my mouth is ready.

[HARRY] ;)
[HARRY] ;O
[LOUIS] AHAHA! You wish, jerk-off.
[HARRY] ;(
[HARRY] (upset smiley)
[LOUIS] :———
[LOUIS] (soft dick smiley)
[HARRY] That’s soft? I call bull.
[HARRY] Live pic to confirm.
[LOUIS] :—————
[HARRY] ???
[LOUIS] Sorry, was thinking about your mouth.
[HARRY] :3
[HARRY] :—————————————
[HARRY] soft.
[LOUIS] Alright then.
[HARRY] Don’t hate the playa, hate the game.
[LOUIS] :—
[LOUIS] It shrunk in response to that.
[HARRY] :O
[LOUIS] :———
[HARRY] :O :P
[LOUIS] :————
[HARRY] :O :P :#
[LOUIS] :—? :—————? :——?
[LOUIS] it’s confused.
[HARRY] ( . ) ( . )
[LOUIS] More like
[LOUIS] (.) (.) (.) (.)
[HARRY] You’re mean and I hate you.
06/01/14 11:01
[LOUIS] Perrie has dragged me to the Disney baby store.
[LOUIS] Help.
[HARRY] Can’t. You’re an accomplice now.
[LOUIS] I’m holding shirts for her.
[LOUIS] I have guilt.
[LOUIS] Wait, she’s looking
[LOUIS] She’s on to me.
[LOUIS] Goodbye world.
[HARRY] You brought this on yourself.
[LOUIS] Cold, Styles, cold.
06/02/14 14:23
[HARRY] What did the donkey say to the duck?
[LOUIS] What?
[HARRY] I don’t know. I thought you were gonna stop me before the punchline.
[LOUIS] …
[LOUIS] >menu
[LOUIS] >options
[LOUIS] >kill
[LOUIS] >self
[HARRY] >menu >options >suck >genitalia >mine >immediately
[LOUIS] >menu >options >kill >self >again >repeatedly
[HARRY] >menu >options >get >life
[LOUIS] (system too busy trying to perform the previous command)
[HARRY] >force quit

[LOUIS] >accept >defeat
[LOUIS] >grudgingly
[HARRY] >accept >victory
[HARRY] >not gracefully
06/03/14 19:12
[LOUIS] WHERE ARE YOU??? ITS SUFFOCATING I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THIS
SHIT!!1!
[HARRY] Coming! Coming!
[LOUIS] RUN!
[HARRY] Can’t. Bathroom.
[LOUIS] Shitting?
[HARRY] Maybe.
[LOUIS] I AHTE YOU FUK
[HARRY] I’ll speed up?
[LOUIS] !!!!!!!!!!
[HARRY] I’ll speed up. See you soon.
06/09/14 13:00
[LOUIS] Let’s play guess who said this stupid thing?
[HARRY] Okay.
[LOUIS] “So a cat’s tail is like its dick?”
[HARRY] Liam.
[LOUIS] “What about female cats?”
[HARRY] Niall.
[LOUIS] “Female cats have tits.”
[HARRY] Zayn. Though he probably said ‘nips’. He doesn’t say ‘tits’.
[LOUIS] “So do boys!”
[HARRY] Liam again.
[LOUIS] “Tits or dick tails?”

[HARRY] Eleanor.
[LOUIS] WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD AT THIS???
[HARRY] I know, it frightens me too.
06/11/14 10:00
[LOUIS] Send me a pic of my badge? It’s on the coffee table.
[HARRY] Why?
[LOUIS] Simon.
[HARRY] Here. (see attachment)
[LOUIS] What is this?
[HARRY] ???
[HARRY] OMG!
[HARRY] NO.
[LOUIS] :)
[HARRY] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
[LOUIS] Nice abs.
[HARRY] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
[LOUIS] Why the red boxers though? The green ones are better.
[HARRY] STOP NO STOP
[LOUIS] Send me that badge and we’ll discuss this later.
[HARRY] Please forget this ever happened.
[LOUIS] Not a chance in hell, young lady. Is this what you do when I’m not home? You’re
grounded.
[HARRY] I wasn’t going to send them to anyone!!!
[LOUIS] Slut.
[HARRY] I was just showing Gemma where I wanted the tats!
[LOUIS] You sext your sister? That’s just vile.
[HARRY] KILL ME!
[LOUIS] No.
[LOUIS] But I will tell Liam.
[LOUIS] So you’re finished.
[HARRY] JUST DONT SEND IT TO ANYONE. PLS?? PLS!!!
[LOUIS] No worries.
[HARRY] Promise?
[LOUIS] Only if you promise not to send it to anyone. Ever.
[HARRY] Promise.
[LOUIS] Then it’s safe with me.
06/14/14 10:00
[LOUIS] I have contracted Ebola.
[HARRY] Not this again.
[LOUIS] I am certain.
[HARRY] Louis, you have the flue. You should have gotten the vaccine when I told you.
[LOUIS] THERE IS NO VACCINE FOR EBOLA.
[HARRY] Good thing you don’t have it then.
[LOUIS] I’M DYING.
[HARRY] Watch a movie.
[LOUIS] I’m going to cuddle in your bed so you get Ebola too.
[HARRY] Or do that. That’s fine too.
[LOUIS] Then you’ll understand!
[HARRY] I got the vaccine so unlike you I’m safe. Drink lots of water. Stay warm. I’ll bring you
soup. xx
[LOUIS] Eat shit xx
06/17/14 18:20
[LOUIS] Remember that time you got a yeast infection? Yeah, I do too. That was fun.
[HARRY] NO.
[LOUIS] Had to buy you mungina cream…
[HARRY] What do you want?

[LOUIS] Pizza.
[HARRY] sigh.
[HARRY] Toppings?
[LOUIS] Half cheese, half pepperoni.
[HARRY] Any more requests?
[LOUIS] Pepsi.
[HARRY] Ok.
[LOUIS] And lava cakes.
[HARRY] You’re pushing it.
[LOUIS] All the little yeast stuck in between your head and your foreskin…
[HARRY] How many?
[LOUIS] Two.
[HARRY] I hate you.
[LOUIS] :*
06/23/14 15:24
[LOUIS] Someone broke into your apartment.
[HARRY] WHAT?????????
[LOUIS] Sorry.
[HARRY] WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
[LOUIS] Everything is stolen.
[HARRY] Everything?!
[LOUIS] Okay, no, nothing is but I did break the blender.
[HARRY] LOUIS!
[LOUIS] Compared to everything being stolen I’d think that is minor.
[HARRY] My stuff isn’t stolen though, right?
[LOUIS] No, but the blender is broken.
[HARRY] Why didn’t you just say that in the first place?
[LOUIS] I was preparing you.

[HARRY] By telling me I lost everything?!
[LOUIS] Yes, so now you’re happy it was just the blender.
[HARRY] I’m not happy.
[LOUIS] Well, you should be because it could have been everything.
[HARRY] Go buy a blender.
[LOUIS] How much of an order is this?
[HARRY] 9.5/10
[LOUIS] Fine.
[LOUIS] Only because I like morning smoothies.
[LOUIS] And feel guilty about breaking the toaster as well.
[HARRY] LOUIS!
[LOUIS] In my defense, you never use it. And I broke it three weeks ago. More evidence that you
don’t use it.
[HARRY] LOUIS!!!!!!!!!
[LOUIS] I’ll buy a toaster too I guess.
[LOUIS] Though you never use it.
[HARRY] Anything else you’ve destroyed?
[LOUIS] Your pussy.
[HARRY] You wish.
[LOUIS] No, I’d rather put my dick in the toaster.
[HARRY] Is that how it broke now?
[LOUIS] ;)
06/23/14 15:24
[LOUIS] So I didn’t buy a blender but I did buy a really good dog bed.
[HARRY] We don’t have a dog.
[LOUIS] That’s true.
[HARRY] Why do we need a dog bed?
[LOUIS] It looked so big and comfy.

[HARRY] …..
[LOUIS] Fine! I’ll return it.
[LOUIS] THIS IS WHY WE NEVER HAVE NICE THINGS.
[HARRY] Get that blender while you’re there.
[LOUIS] Can I just get a dog to go with the dog bed?
[HARRY] No.
[LOUIS] Is that your final answer?
[HARRY] Yes.
[LOUIS] Yes, I can get a dog.
[HARRY] No, you can’t get a dog. Yes, that is my final answer. Go buy a blender.
[HARRY] Actually, I don’t even trust you. Just keep the dog bed. I’ll get the blender.
[LOUIS] Okie.
[HARRY] You can sleep in it when you’re bad.
[LOUIS] Okie.
[HARRY] That’s why you bought it in the first place, isn’t it?
[LOUIS] I can sit on it while playing video games. But a dog would be nice too.
[HARRY] One puppy is more than enough.
[LOUIS] What’s that supposed to mean?
[LOUIS] Harry???
[LOUIS] Don’t ignore me!
[LOUIS] Harry?
[HARRY] Woof, woof. :)
Scene 2
07/11/14 14:10
[Harry - Eleanor Texting Thread]
[ELEANOR] Don’t freak out.
[ELEANOR] I have to tell you something.
[ELEANOR] Are you with Zayn?

[ELEANOR] Where are you?
[HARRY] At work. Why?
[ELEANOR] Is Zayn around?
[HARRY] No. Haven’t seen him today.
[HARRY] What’s happening?
[HARRY] Why do you need him?
[ELEANOR] Okay. Don’t freak out. Don’t do anything crazy. Promise me.
[HARRY] ??????
[ELEANOR] Your room is on fire.
[HARRY] WHAT?!
[HARRY] Is this a joke?
[HARRY] Is this Lou?
[ELEANOR] No, it’s not a joke, Harry. Your room caught on fire. The entire hotel has been
evacuated. We’re standing outside.
[HARRY] What?!
[HARRY] Is everyone okay?
[HARRY] Is Lou with you?
[ELEANOR] Haven’t seen him.
[ELEANOR] Did he have today off?
[HARRY] YES.
[HARRY] JESUS CHRIST FIND HIM!
[HARRY] PLEASE!
[ELEANOR] Don’t freak out, I said.
[HARRY] ELEANOR!
[HARRY] My baby might be dead and you want me to not freak out?!?!?!?!?!??!!?
[HARRY] I’m coming home.
[ELEANOR] He’s not here.
[ELEANOR] I don’t see him? He might be out somewhere.

[HARRY] I’m literally about to lose my mind right now.
[HARRY] Keep me posted.
[HARRY] I’ll see you soon.
[HARRY] Please, find him!
[HARRY] Please!
Endangered
SAGA 4: THE QUEEN OF HEARTS FIXED
Chapter 70: Endangered
[Parking Lot, Walt Disney Hotel, Orlando, 2:21pm, Liar, Liar, Pants of Fire!]
HARRY: (walking towards the ambulances, talking to Eleanor who’s with another group of
people) “Why do bad things happen to good people?”
ELEANOR: “Louis doesn’t classify as good—“
HARRY: “Eleanor!” (shakes his head, charges forward a little faster while she consoles families)
POLICEMAN: (intercepting him) “Family only, please.”
HARRY: “I am family.”
POLICEMAN: “Whose family?”
HARRY: “The room’s family. That was my room. My room caught on fire. I think I'm the most
relevant person here. My room is on fire!”
POLICEMAN: “Yes, sir, we know. We just want everyone to keep calm—“
HARRY: “Look, sir-policeman-important-person, I understand. I’m thankful. Very. But I need to

make sure the human contents of my room aren’t dead.”
POLICEMAN: “What?”
HARRY: (panicky) “My best friend might be dead and if he is, I’ll kill you.”
POLICEMAN: “Sir, please calm down.”
HARRY: “Don’t tell me to calm down. My room is on fire—I had important stuff in that room—
like my best friend—and my signed 'Fall Out Boy' poster. Is anybody dead?!”
POLICEMAN: (exasperated) “You will be if you don’t start breathing anytime soon…”
HARRY: “Who’s dead?!”
POLICEMAN: “No one’s dead. Everyone has been evacuated. Calm down—”
HARRY: (hand through his hair, stressed) “Please, move aside. I need to find my friend.”
LOUIS: (amused, walking behind the policeman) “Man, you do not handle pressure well at all.”
HARRY: “Louis!”
LOUIS: “Hi.”
HARRY: (in disbelief) “Hi?! Hi?”
LOUIS: (cheeky) “Hello?”
HARRY: (furious) “You little bastard! How dare you do this to me? How many times are you
almost going to die in places where I could be incriminated?”
LOUIS: (amused) “Technically, the first time, you almost killed me.”
POLICEMAN: “Killed you?”
LOUIS: "He punched me in the face."
HARRY: (clarifying slowly) “I did not kill him."
LOUIS: "Obviously."
HARRY: "I did punch him in the face—“ (noticing the look on the policeman’s face, closes his
mouth) “A little.” (quickly) “Because he pretended to mug me.”
POLICEMAN: “Mug you?”
LOUIS: (dying of silent laughter) “Dear god, Styles.”
HARRY: “Yes, mug me, or stab me. He pretended to—it’s not important.”
POLICEMAN: “Uh-huh…”
HARRY: “It’s private. I’m pleading the fourth.”
POLICEMAN: “Personal property cannot be searched without a warrant?”
LOUIS: (laughing out loud) “I’m dying. Oxygen, nurse, I can’t breathe!”
HARRY: (flushed) “Yes, that one. And all the other ones too.”
POLICEMAN: (amused at this point) “Your level of panic is at a nine. I need you to be at like a
two.”
HARRY: “I need you to not be in between me and the person I will go to jail for killing.”
POLICEMAN: “We have to clear him first. He might have breathed in some fumes.”
HARRY: (panics all over again) “Oh my god—“
LOUIS: “You don’t even know what that means, moron...”
HARRY: “Shut up, Louis. You’re dying.”
LOUIS: “I’m not dying…”
HARRY: “Can I just see him? Closely. Inspect him closely. For death. Or fumes.”
POLICEMAN: “Only family.”

LOUIS: “Let him come. He’s my wife.”
HARRY: (serious, huffy) “I’m his wife.”
POLICEMAN: (pause, moving aside reluctantly, to Harry) “I’m watching you, karate boy.”
HARRY: “I did not punch him. I flailed my arms in the direction of his face. Bought him
mozzarella sticks right after. Lord, people can't repent for their sins these days...”
LOUIS: (grabbing his arm, amused) “Come on, idiot.”
HARRY: (turns towards him, loud) “You set my room on fire?!”
LOUIS: “Okay, calm down…”
HARRY: (screechy) “Calm—“
LOUIS: “I was making you cupcakes!”
HARRY: “Huh?”
LOUIS: (pouty, cute) “I was being nice…I didn’t break anything…” (to himself) “Well, aside from
that whole fire thing but I mean…the blender is till alive!”
HARRY: “You—you—you—Ugh!” (grabs him, hugs him tightly) “Don’t do this again.” (kisses
Louis’ hair) “This wasn’t funny. I was terrified.”
LOUIS: (hugging back) “Why? It’s just a room. What were you hiding in there, meth?”
POLICEMAN: “I’m watching you, I said.”
LOUIS: (chuckling) “Joke, joke. We only grow weed. We're organic like that.”
HARRY: (pulls away, cups Louis’ face) “You were there, Lou. I could have lost you.”
LOUIS: (caught off guard) “Oh…well…I’m fine.” (Harry exhales, shaking his head, Louis
smiles) “If it’s any consolation, I had good intentions.”
HARRY: (relieved snort) “Yeah, I bet.” (hugs him again) “I don’t think giving me a heart attack
classifies under ‘good’.”
LOUIS: “You were this worried?”
HARRY: (incredulous) “You were dead for all I knew. Driving here I was preparing my eulogy
and it started with, ‘I wish he was alive so I could kill him myself.’”
LOUIS: “Hazel would be proud.”
HARRY: “Don’t joke. My heart’s in my throat.”
LOUIS: (pulls away) “I wasn’t going to die. I’m like a cat. Nine lives." (grabs Harry's hand, puts
in on his own head) "Now pet me, I was so scared and almost brunt. Meow.”
HARRY: (pets his hair lightly) "Kitten was bad today. Only dry food for kitten now. No more
cooking."(pointing to the backpack on Louis’ shoulders) “What’s that?”
LOUIS: “A bag."
HARRY: "No, shit, Louis."
LOUIS: "Of your importants.”
HARRY: “What?”
LOUIS: “Passport, credit cards, laptop, shit like that. I grabbed your Packers hoodie too because I
liked it. The green goes well with my eyes, no?"
HARRY: (confused) "Your eyes are blue..."
LOUIS: "Yeah, no shit, Harry." (rolls his eyes) "I thought if I’m gonna be burning your house
down, I might as well have something to bribe you with so you don’t hate me.”
HARRY: “I’d never hate you—“
LOUIS: “You say that now because you know your porn collection still lives in this laptop I have
—“
HARRY: “Wait, wait, let me get this straight--"
LOUIS: (under his breath) "Unlike your porn collection..."
HARRY: "Louis!" (distracted) "You've gone through my porn collection? Never mind, we'll talk
about this later..." (Louis smirks) "The house was burning down and you were packing my stuff?”
LOUIS: “Yes. Quickly. I was running and packing. The alarm was driving me insane so I wanted
to get out of there asap. I’m a very efficient packer—We should go on vacation. How’s the
Caribbean?”
HARRY: “Are you insane?!”
LOUIS: “Or not the Caribbean then. Fine. Be like that, peasant. We could go home?”
HARRY: “Louis!”
LOUIS: “Your home, I mean. Take me home to mother.”
HARRY: “You could have died!”
LOUIS: “I wasn’t going to die. I just thought, well, this shit’s on fire, nothing to do about that.
Let’s problem solve other things.”
HARRY: “Nothing to—nothing to—Fire extinguisher--Louis!”
LOUIS: (smiling) “Oh come on, I’m alive. I thought we went over this. Moved on.” (smirking,
rummaging around in the bag) “Besides, if I hadn’t done it, how would I have ever known you
look like this in your passport?” (pulls out the passport, flips it to the photo page) “Ey! Who’s this
hotshot?”
HARRY: (rolling his eyes) “I was sixteen and thought I could—“ (Louis starts laughing) “Shut
up. This is about you.”
LOUIS: (whistles) “Jail bait. Is this how you looked when Ed fell for you?” (Harry lunges to steal
the passport from him, Louis evades, laughing) “Because I can see the appeal.” (another attempt,
another escape) “I mean it’s so froggy…”
HARRY: “Louis!”
LOUIS: “As in you’d have to be froggy and daring to risk being with—“
HARRY: (flushed) “Give it back.”
LOUIS: “—A prepubescent boy.” (Harry finally grabs the passport from him, Louis descends into
chuckles) “Harry Styles: born to break hearts.”
HARRY: (grumbled as he folds the passport closed, pouting) “I’ll break your face if you keep
making fun of me…”
POLICEMAN: “What was that?”
HARRY: “I was kidding! He’s making fun of me!”
LOUIS: (laughing) “Harry wants to punch me in the face again. Please, help.”
HARRY: “Gives me a stroke, a blood aneurysm and then makes fun of me. It’s so you, you
know?”
LOUIS: (grinning) “Well, I am me, unfortunately.” (starts walking towards Harry's car) “Let’s
go.”
HARRY: (follows) “Go where?”
LOUIS: “I’ll buy you mozzarella sticks.”
HARRY: “You can’t buy my forgiveness.”
LOUIS: “I’ll let you touch my ass while eating them.”
HARRY: “You are forgiven.”
LOUIS: "Them means the sticks, not the ass."
HARRY: "Geez, how many sticks do you have?"
LOUIS: (stops walking) "You know what, can I go back to the fire? I need to throw myself in it so
I don't have to hear these lame jokes..." (Harry nudges him so he stumbles) "And these lame flirts
you throw my way when you think I'm not paying attention..."
HARRY: (eyes wide, mock insulted) "You offer me your ass but I'm the one flirting?" (snorts)
"Huh! The nerve on this little boy."
LOUIS: "So you don't want my ass?"

HARRY: "Well, if it's free. I have this personal rule--Always take free samples on the street."
LOUIS: (stunned) "I hate so many things about you... Like so many. I can't even list them all.
There's just that many."
HARRY: "I see that you're stalling for time by repeating the same phrase. Have I left you
comeback-less, oh mighty, sass queen?"
Literally
Chapter 71: Literally
Scene 1
[Calvin Klein, Premium Outlets Orlando, 4:21pm, Shopping]
HARRY: (just having come out of the changing room) “So?”
GUY EMPLOYEE: (standing beside Louis, staring at Harry with a smile on his face) “That
looks good. It hugs you nicely. Maybe a size smaller in the shirt…so it’s tighter—“
LOUIS: (turns towards him) “Excuse me, we don’t need your assistance as of right now.”
EMPLOYEE: “Oh. I was just—“
LOUIS: “We can handle it fine ourselves, thank you.”
EMPLOYEE: “I didn’t mean to…” (gulping, looking at Harry) “Offend.”
HARRY: “I’ll uh go change to the next…” (notices Louis is too focused on the guy) “Okay, I’ll
be…in here…” (goes back in the room)
EMPLOYEE: “Honestly, I meant nothing—“
LOUIS: “Shoo.”
EMPLOYEE: “I didn’t mean to disrespect. I didn’t—I should have guessed but I didn’t think you
guys were, you know?”
LOUIS: “Well, we are. And you’re pissing me off so if you could stop eyeing him, I’d be more
willing to buy these clothes for him.”
EMPLOYEE: “Of course, I’m sorry. So sorry. Of course, I will be…tell me if you need anything
else.” (walks away awkwardly)
HARRY: (oblivious) “What do you think of this one, Lou?” (comes out wearing a mesh, black
button down) “Is it too much?”
LOUIS: (smirking) “It’s good. Looks fancy.”
HARRY: “You don’t think it’s too…” (looks at himself, pokes at the visible outline of the
butterfly) “Risqué?”
LOUIS: “It is but it looks expensive. You look like a rockstar. Plus, I think we should do black
and white outfits next time we go clubbing.”
HARRY: “You wanna match?”
LOUIS: “Not boy band match. More like stylish, red carpet kind of thing. I’ll dress you. You
won’t have a chance to ruin it.”
HARRY: (chuckling) “I should get it then?”
LOUIS: “You should unbutton two more buttons too…”
HARRY: “Yeah?” (does as told, chest exposed) “Now it’s really risqué…” (Louis is too busy
staring at his pecs) “Louis?”
LOUIS: “Huh?” (flushed) “It looks good.”
HARRY: “Where did that guy go?”
LOUIS: “Which guy?”
HARRY: “The employee person…he seemed to know—“
LOUIS: “He was a shmuck. He’d probably tell you you looked good in anything you try.”
HARRY: (cheeky) “Don’t I?”
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes) “He wants to sell stuff.”
HARRY: (under his breath, fixing the collar, looking at himself in the mirror) “And himself…”
LOUIS: “Hmm?”
HARRY: (goes back in the room, talking louder so Louis can hear) “I’m gonna go ahead and
guess his number will be on the receipt.”
LOUIS: “Does that happen often?”
HARRY: “All the time…”
LOUIS: (trying hard to be casual, failing, sounding jealous as hell) “Do you call any of them?”
HARRY: “No.”
LOUIS: (clutches the clothes he’s holding tighter) “I don’t think it will happen this time.”
HARRY: “Let’s place a bet.”
LOUIS: “Sure.”
HARRY: “Whoever wins gets to pay for Skyrim.”
LOUIS: “You sure your wallet can handle that?”
HARRY: “Cocky. It’s almost like you know something I don’t.”
LOUIS: “Let’s say I’m always a step ahead.” (Harry comes out in jeans and a t-shirt) “Ready to
lose?”
HARRY: (at the counter, smiling) “This is all, thank you.”
EMPLOYEE: (guy smiles back, giving Louis a quick glance) “Sure, I’ll scan everything…
together?”
LOUIS: (a little forcefully) “Yes. Together.”
EMPLOYEE: (rolls his eyes, scanning everything while the two wait silently) “Total is $67.50.
Card, cash?”
LOUIS: (grabs Harry’s elbow to stop him from looking into his bag) “I got it. You’ll get the other
thing.” (pulls out his card) “I swipe?”
EMPLOYEE: (dry) “That would be how cards work, yes.”
LOUIS: (smiles in anger) “That so? They should have you teaching instead of working retail.”
HARRY: (smirks, bites his lip to stop laughing) “I’ll wait outside. I want a bag of Haribos.”
LOUIS: (still glaring at the guy who’s fooling around with the receipt) “Go pick ‘em out.” (Harry
leaves, shaking his head, to the guy) “You’re almost done there, mate?”
EMPLOYEE: (plastic smile) “Done. I’ll put the receipt in the bag.”
LOUIS: (grabs the bag violently) “I don’t think so.” (rummaging through it) “I was going to
double-check everything.” (picks up the receipt, looks at it, notices the guy’s number next to a
smiley face below the price, bites his lip) “Sir…” (drops his bag on the floor, mock confused voice)
“Could you perhaps show me how we got to this price?” (slams the receipt on the desk, points at
the number, not the total) “If you don’t mind.”
EMPLOYEE: (smarted) “If he’s really your boyfriend, you don’t have to be so insecure.”
LOUIS: (pissed finally, voice low, threatening) “Look here, you little shit, don’t you fucking play
games with me after I’ve given you fair warning.” (picks up the receipt, puts it close to his mouth,
spits on it vulgarly, crumbles it in his hand, throws it on the table again) “Next time, we’ll solve
this outside. And I’ll be spitting on your face instead.”
EMPLOYEE: (stunned, gaping) “Wow…”
LOUIS: “That’s what I thought.” (picks up the bag, stomps out of the shop, fuming) “Good day.”
(under his breath) “Fucking home wrecker.”
HARRY: (waiting outside with a smile, nibbling on Haribo snake) “Want one?”
LOUIS: (shoves the bag in his hands) “Hope you like all you got because there will be no chance
of returning those.” (grabs Harry’s hand, drags him away)
HARRY: (stumbling behind him, grinning) “So…Skyrim’s on you then?”
LOUIS: (snappy) “I hate you.”
Scene 2
[Gates, Walt Disney World in Florida, 3:23pm, Smoke Break]
ELEANOR: (on the phone) “But he’s not your boyfriend…”

LOUIS: (pacing, cigarette in hand) “It’s a matter of principle, Eleanor. The bitch thought he could
mock me in front of my boyfriend.”
ELEANOR: “But he’s not your boyfriend…”
LOUIS: “What does it matter what he is? The guy didn’t know that! For all he knew, Harry was
my boy and he went for it either way because he was Satan and he needed to be punished. Now he
won’t go doing that with others. I’ve saved people really. I’m a hero.”
ELEANOR: “I’m pretty sure, he did know you were lying. If you were together, there’d be a lot
more PDA. People in relationships look at each other differently. You’re just pissed the guy called
you out.”
LOUIS: “I’m pissed you’re not taking my side after I paid for his clothes, Skyrim and the movie. I
might as well be his boyfriend with the way he’s milking me dry.”
ELEANOR: (exasperated) “That’s what we’ve all been saying, Louis…”
LOUIS: (ignoring him) “He held my hand too!”
ELEANOR: “Let’s be honest here, you held his hand because you were pissed and possessive.”
LOUIS: (speechless) “Ugh, you’re all…ugh! Bye. Die.”
Scene 3
[Liam’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 6:41pm, Beer & Baseball]
LOUIS: (after chugging some beer, looking at the TV) “A couple of days ago…”
LIAM: “Yeah…”
LOUIS: “He…“
LIAM: “…He…?”
LOUIS: (nervous) “He…he…Harry…he…”
LIAM: “Okay, that would be the noun of the sentence. Onwards.”
LOUIS: “Yo, shut your mouth, you prick.”
LIAM: (laughing) “Ah, when it’s about insulting me your tongue is sharper than ever, I see.”
LOUIS: “I’m doing this, this thing where I tell you things, okay?”
LIAM: “Okay. I recognize that. This is the telling part now…”
LOUIS: “I know. I’m trying to get there…”
LIAM: “Okay, very long opening.”
LOUIS: “Liam, please, can you be more of a supportive fuck right now?”
LIAM: “Telling part, remember? Not insulting Liam part. We all know you're brilliant at the
latter.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, so, we were in the village and I was a little mad, you could say—“
LIAM: "A little mad?"
LOUIS: "You know how I get…” (sheepishly) “When Harry's involved."
LIAM: “So you were blowing a fuse.”
LOUIS: “Something along those lines. He was flirting with the waiter and I was pissed about there
being ice in my water and I don’t know. I was just pissed.”
LIAM: (amused) “Ice in your water, sure… Then what happened?”
LOUIS: “He…”
LIAM: “Harry.”
LOUIS: (struggling) “Harry…did…something.”
LIAM: “Harry did something? That’s your attempt at telling me things? Really?”
LOUIS: (blushing, completely embarrassed) “Getting. There.”
LIAM: “What was this something, Louis?”
LOUIS: “Something that confused me.”
LIAM: “Oh boy, this is one of those.”
LOUIS: “Be serious. I’m trying to open up. The thing, remember?”
LIAM: “Sorry. Go on. Do the thing.”
LOUIS: “I don’t want to anymore.”
LIAM: “C’mon, Louis. Don’t be a princess. Tell me. What’s bothering you?”
LOUIS: “He…” (red in the face) “Sorta held my hand…a little.”
LIAM: “And you punched him? Oh boy, are you on the run? Is the police looking for you?”
LOUIS: “No. I didn’t punch him.”
LIAM: “Right in the nose? Like decked him well? There was blood on the floor—”
LOUIS: “I just said I didn’t—“
LIAM: “He dropped dead. You had to drag the body outside. Are you asking me if I can provide
an alibi because if yes, we could pretend we were having sex that night?”
LOUIS: “What?”
LIAM: “Very believable.”
LOUIS: “What are you talking about? I didn’t punch him.”
LIAM: “So what, you did nothing?”
LOUIS: “Yes.”
LIAM: “How dare you! A man made a move on your pure and innocent flesh by grasping your
virgin hand and you, you wench, just let it stay there. You just—Oh, scandalous!” (mock angry)
“But I was promised your hand virginity!”
LOUIS: (rolling his eyes, then wary) “So, I thought, this isn’t like a big deal, right?”
LIAM: “Do you want me to hold your hand so we can examine it further.”
LOUIS: “Liam, stop being a cock.”
LIAM: (stretches his hand) “My hand is ready for this mission.”
LOUIS: (rolling his eyes) “Ass.”
LIAM: “Says the ass.” (pause) "Do you want it to be a big deal?"
LOUIS: "Well, I'm just thinking..." (mumbling) "That's something, you know, couples do."
LIAM: "Well, why did you let him hold your hand?"
LOUIS: "Should I have not let him?"
LIAM: "No, no. I mean why did you find it alright?"
LOUIS: "Because I was upset and it soothed me, touching him."
LIAM: "He has that effect on you. He calms you down. He brings you back when you...well, do
that Louis thing."
LOUIS: "What Louis thing?"
LIAM: "Oh you know, the one where you're out of control and you transform into a cross-breed
between sass, wit and 'I don't fucking care'. We call it the Louis, to pull a Louis. Zayn does the best
impersonation of it."
LOUIS: (impressed) "Well, guess what? I don't fucking care."
LIAM: "Oh, come on. Don't pout. We love you. We all wanna be you."
LOUIS: "Ew."
LIAM: "What?"
LOUIS: "Stinky cheese everywhere."
LIAM: (rolls his eyes) "Can't I love you, bro?"

LOUIS: "Ew."
LIAM: "You don't love me back?"
LOUIS: "Ew."
Like
Chapter 62: Like
[Splash Mountain, Walt Disney World in Florida, 4:13pm, Standards]
LOUIS: “How did you know you were gay?”
LUKE: “What?”
LOUIS: “When you first discovered you liked dudes… How was that experience?”
LUKE: “Well, let me tell you. A fairy appeared from nothing and I thought oh my god, they exist.
Ashton must really be Peter Pan. She approached me and I tried to catch her. Is that you Tinkerbell,
I called. But upon closer inspection, the fairy was a chubby, tiny man in glitter and green tights.
Tinkerballs, he corrected. Then he threw some glitter at me and said, you gay now, faggit. And
disappeared in a cloud of unicorn orgasms. I stood there, slowly floating towards the ceiling and
got a massive boner made of rainbows and Beyonce. I knew then I had to be gay—been gay ever
since.”
LOUIS: (blinking unimpressed) “Are you done now? I’m being serious.”
LUKE: “Who cares how I found out?”
LOUIS: “I care. Clearly. That’s why I’m asking.”
LUKE: “Sudden. That’s how it was. A bit too sudden.”
LOUIS: (gulping) “Like you weren’t born gay?”
LUKE: “I was born gay. No matter what life I led I’d have ended up gay. But when you notice can
change from person to person. Most kids aren’t sexual at first. I mean, I thought I liked girls
because every boy liked girls around me. And sure I was fascinated by them.”
LOUIS: “Did you ever get aroused by girls? Like watching porn?”
LUKE: “Yeah, I jacked off to straight porn all the time.”
LOUIS: “But…how?”
LUKE: “I got aroused by the idea of sex. I looked at these two people doing the dirty and found it
hot. I wasn’t entirely focused on the gender. I think lots of people are like that.”
LOUIS: “So when did you notice?”
LUKE: “Quite honestly when we hit high school and Ashton decided to keep his hair long and a
particular growth spurt hit him so hard…” (winks) “Almost as hard as I wanted to hit on him after
it.”
LOUIS: “You would sleep with Ashton?”
LUKE: (nods) “I’d fuck the shit out of Ashton in every possible position on any counter-space
available for hours until my ass feels like jello.”
LOUIS: “Jesus Christ.”
LUKE: “But I don’t think that’s weird. When you’re gay and have a best dude friend, it’s easy to
get attracted to them. It’s like your and Eleanor’s relationship. You’re better as friends but can’t
help hooking up.”
LOUIS: “I don’t like Eleanor like that.”
LUKE: “But there’s sexual tension.”
LOUIS: “She has a vagina.”
LUKE: (makes a face) “Yeah, it’s kind of like that…except less objectifying and more human.”
LOUIS: “Like?”
LUKE: “Like I think he’s incredible and we happen to vibe really well.”
LOUIS: “So all gays want to bed their best friends?”
LUKE: “That would be a gross generalization.”
LOUIS: “But you said—“
LUKE: “I’m one person—one gay, as you put it—to say a hundred percent of us can’t keep it in
our pants is like saying all straight men wanna sleep with all straight women around them—which
is sort of true because heteros are desperate. But, not us. We have standards.”
LOUIS: “Do you wanna bed me?”
LUKE: “I just said we have standards, Louis.”
LOUIS: (smacks him) “Be serious, dammit.”
LUKE: “No. No offense and really, this conversation is taking the turn for the
extremely…curious, but I don’t wanna bed you… If that’s okay with you.”
LOUIS: “Luke.”
LUKE: (amused, barely holding in his giggles) “You get so flustered, it’s hilarious.”
LOUIS: “But I’m cool.”
LUKE: “Yes, very.”
LOUIS: “And we vibe well.”
LUKE: “Yes, but it’s not like a checklist, Louis. It’s not like my default state is fall in love with
males around me. Do I sometimes stare at your ass? Yes, I do…extensively. Like a lot. Like a good
portion of my day involves staring at your ass. That still does not mean I wanna get near it.”
LOUIS: “Even more hilarious than you thinking you’d top is…” (pretend thinks) “Wait, nothing.
You thinking you’d top!”
LUKE: (laughing) “I’m a bottom mostly. I don’t do hard labor, unlike your best friend who squats
at the gym just to build thigh muscle.”
LOUIS: “What?”
LUKE: “You don’t wanna know but I’ll tell you anyway. Harry—“
LOUIS: “Nope, nope, nope, nope!” (waves him off) “Don’t give me visuals.”
LUKE: “Like I was saying, sleeping with you would be like sleeping with my father.” (shudders)
“Not the right kind of daddy. Sorry, but like Harry says, only Liam is daddy.”
LOUIS: “What?”
LUKE: “Inside joke that is not so inside anymore since all the Disney princesses found out and
now Liam is asking everyone what this daddy thing is.”
LOUIS: “What is this daddy thing?”
LUKE: “It’s a gay thing. Think of it as a prototype gay. Come to think of it straight men can be
daddy too but it’s mostly slang in gay culture. Daddies are big, buff, dom men who take care of
you and look like they’ll spank you in bed—ask Harry, he’s the one with the filthy mind.”
LOUIS: (bitter) “Harry thinks Liam is any of those things?” (unnecessarily hostile) “That’s
fucking dumb and ridiculous.”
LUKE: (caught off guard) “Chill… It’s a joke. Harry knows Liam’s a teddy bear. It’s precisely
why it’s funny. Liam gives a first impression he could never hold up after you meet him.”
LOUIS: “So this Harry liking Liam thing is real?”
LUKE: (chuckles) “Nah, Harry, like all men and women in this world, thinks Liam’s attractive.”
LOUIS: “You think Liam’s attractive?”
LUKE: “Yeah. He is. He’s boy next door attractive.”
LOUIS: “You’d sleep with him?”
LUKE: (sighs deeply) “No, Louis, again that’s not how it works. Man, it’s like you’re a twelve
year old virgin. Have you never checked out girls before? Do you really think about nailing all of
them on first sight? Some people are just attractive.”
LOUIS: (blurts) “I think Harry’s very attractive.”
LUKE: “That’s true. He is.”
LOUIS: (small, guilty) “I don’t know what thinking that makes me?”
LUKE: (touching his hand, encouraging) “Human. You’re allowed to have an opinion. You don’t
have to say ‘no homo’ for everyone to realize you’re not going to bang Harry Styles.”
LOUIS: “Does he wanna bang me?”
LUKE: “Oh for shit’s sake, Louis. Just because he’s gay—“
LOUIS: “No, I get it. I get it. Not everyone wants everyone. I get it. But it’s different with him…I
think.”
LUKE: (shrugs) “So what if he does wanna do something? What does it matter?”
LOUIS: “You said you see Ashton that way though he’s your best friend and I was thinking, I’m
sorta like his best friend…”
LUKE: “You’ve moved into the best friend category now?”
LOUIS: “Well, we get along well and get each other almost immediately. And he takes care of me
and vice versa. I don’t know. We do lots of stuff I consider close, best friend stuff.”
LUKE: “I was kidding. You don’t have to formally apply to use the label.”
LOUIS: “I’m just asking if it’s awkward between you and Ash now, ever since you discovered
you like him.”
LUKE: “Nah. I don’t devote my attention to Ashton because I know it’s useless. If he was gay, I’d
ask him out, yes. But he’s not. So I’m just happy to be around him. I look for other people. Just
because Harry’s your best friend doesn’t mean he’ll get stuck on you. He’ll find someone else.”
LOUIS: (fidgeting) “What if I don’t want him to do that?”
LUKE: “Huh?”
LOUIS: “What if that bothers me, the thought of him with other people… What does that mean?”
LUKE: (biting his lip, less sure) “Nothing… You’re protective—possessive. It takes a while for
friends to accept each other’s significant others.”
LOUIS: “I don’t want him dating people. Saying that hurts. We went shopping last weekend and a
guy was hitting on him and I just about went on a rampage.”
LUKE: (whistles) “Wow, talk about jealous.”
LOUIS: “I was.”
LUKE: “You think?”
LOUIS: “I know…I don’t know. I know I was angry. I know I don’t want him liking other people,
whatever that means.”
LUKE: (shrugs, wary) “You’ll have to ease off a little. I think you will, with time. Once you get
closer you won’t feel the need to hover over him as much.”
LOUIS: (frustrated) “I don’t think you’re getting it.”
LUKE: “Getting what exactly?”

LOUIS: “I don’t think this will fade. I’m jealous of everyone he hangs out with, everyone,
Eleanor, Liam, Zayn, his freaking ex who literally haunts me by being perfect and accepting my
friend request on Facebook—Literally the guy is perfect. I would know. I stalk every single social
media of his I can. I have a shirt with his face on it—Why? Because I’ve lost my mind.”
LUKE: “That’s weird. I don’t even… That’s just weird so I’ll skip that track.” (shakes his head)
“If you’re jealous of everyone, it’s not a guy thing. It’s a friend thing. You wanna monopolize him
because you feel like others might take him away.”
LOUIS: “I suppose.”
LUKE: “Why are you so worried?”
LOUIS: “I’m not. I’m just confused. He confuses me. And now having to talk about it with others
makes it even worse.”
LUKE: “Don’t overthink it too much. If you like hanging out with him, do that. Who knows what
comes next? There’s no damage in chilling.”
LOUIS: (regretful) “There is damage if I have to avoid him again.”
LUKE: “And why would you need to do that?”
LOUIS: “Because I don’t think I can handle him liking me… And I definitely can’t handle him
liking other people, so guaranteed explosion, really.”
Lady
Chapter 73: Lady
Scene 1
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, Orlando, 7:14pm, The Original Queen]
LOUIS: (shoving the door of the room open, sing-song) “Harry Moron Styles, why are you not
coming to the movies with me?”
HARRY: (winces at the noise, looks at the door) “I told you I had an errand to—“
LOUIS: (stomps towards him) “What errand?”
HARRY: (looks at the screen of his laptop then at Louis) “I’m talking to my mom.”
LOUIS: (skips over, looks at the laptop, screechy) “Hey Anne!”
ANNE: “Hi, Louis.”
LOUIS: (turns towards Harry, exaggerated) “Anne knows my name.” (grabbing his shoulders)
“She knows who I am!”
HARRY: (amused) “Did you have raw sugar again?”
LOUIS: (turns towards the laptop, slumps on Harry’s lap) “Anne, I need you to love me like I
love you.”
ANNE: (chuckling) “Already done.”
HARRY: (wraps his arms around Louis’s waist) “Stop seducing my mother.”
ANNE: (teasing) “Also, already done.”
HARRY: “Mom!”
LOUIS: (bouncy with excitement) “How did you know my name?”
ANNE: “Harry talks about you all the time, dear.”
LOUIS: (smirking, turning towards Harry) “Oh really?”
HARRY: (blushing deeply, looking down) “That’s not true, mom.”
ANNE: “Not true? Then how do we know that he only eats bananas if you cut them in pieces since
he feels awkward otherwise.”
HARRY: “Mom—!”
ANNE: “—And that he takes baths once a week on Wednesdays and showers every night instead
of every morning?”
LOUIS: “That’s pretty specific.” (grinning) “Borderline stalker-ish.”
HARRY: (beat red) “Mom! I did not call you to be shamed.”
ANNE: “Too bad then.”
LOUIS: “Yes, shame him, queen.”
ANNE: “I like him already, Harry. I should be queen more often.”
HARRY: “You should be queen never.”
ANNE: “Louis, Harry smells your clothes when you’re not noticing.”
HARRY: (panicked) “Mom!”
ANNE: “I bet he’s doing it right now.”
HARRY: (head on Louis’ shoulder) “Ugh.”
LOUIS: “Well, are you?”
HARRY: (nuzzling his neck, Louis laughs) “Now, I am.”
ANNE: (chuckles) “Harry’s much more excited talking about you than anything else so that’s
what we ask about recently.”
LOUIS: “Aw, Harreh. So cute. So fond.”
HARRY: (burying his face deeper, bites Louis’ neck, Louis yelps, tickled, Harry smiles) “Had
enough?”
LOUIS: “Anne, Harry is sucking on my neck!”
ANNE: “I bet he wants to be sucking on something else—What, who said that?”
HARRY: (screaming) “Mother!”
LOUIS: (laughing out loud) “So that’s where you get it from.”
HARRY: “This is so embarrassing…”
ANNE: (to Louis) “He cares so much about his friends. They’re his life really.”
HARRY: “I only mentioned a couple of things randomly…”
LOUIS: (to Anne) “If that’s the case then I’ll catch you up on what’s going on with him. Did he
tell you guys the good news?”
HARRY: (small) “No…”
ANNE: “What good news?”
LOUIS: (surprised) “You didn’t tell them? Why would you not tell them?” (to Anne) “Harry, here,
is having a bit of an awesome month. He got named employee of the year last week, voted by the
kids so they gave him a mighty bonus.”
ANNE: “What, honey, really?!”
HARRY: “It’s not that big of a deal…” (embarrassed) “It was just a small thing…Not even from
Disney, just a random thing of…”
LOUIS: “It was a big deal. He got in front of everyone at the parade to receive a certificate—Huge
deal.”
ANNE: “Why didn’t you tell us, sweetheart? This is amazing news. You’re getting recognized for
all your hard work.”
LOUIS: (smiles at Harry, proud) “Yup. He’s coming out of his shell now.” (ruffles Harry’s hair,
Harry looks down) “He’s made himself some friends too.”
HARRY: (shy) “They’re your friends.”
LOUIS: “Not for long. You’ll steal them away from me. They already like you better.”
HARRY: (blushing, biting his lip, happy, mumbling) “That’s not true. Everyone likes you all the
time.”
ANNE: (smiling at both of them) “Now this is something I’ll approve of when it comes to
arguing.”
LOUIS: (more serious) “He has opened up though, jokes aside. Even Zayn’s impressed.”
ANNE: (smiles) “It’s all your doing, I’m sure.”
LOUIS: (blushes) “No—I mean—“
HARRY: “It is, Lou. I wouldn’t have done it without you.”
LOUIS: (flattered but hiding it behind teasing) “Don’t get fluffy on me, pillowcase.”
HARRY: (fond, holding him tighter by the waist) “You fluff me so hard. I become a flamingo
when you say nice stuff.”
LOUIS: (amused) “Pink, flamboyant and clumsy?” (Harry chuckles) “I can see it.”
ANNE: “I don’t know if Harry’s told you, Louis—“
LOUIS: “Oh he has, he tells me everything.”
ANNE: (chuckles) “Then you know that we have a wedding coming up… And you’re more than
welcome to join us.”
HARRY: (panicked) “Mom!”
ANNE: (ignoring him) “It’d be a joy to finally meet you in person.”
LOUIS: “Well, I wouldn’t want to impose—“

ANNE: “Nonsense! Harry’s always so alone coming home and he looks so sad. I’m sure he’d love
to have you there.”
HARRY: (strangled) “Mom, stop.”
ANNE: “Wouldn’t you, sweetheart?”
HARRY: “I would but just don’t make him do stuff okay—Don’t pressure him and stuff—“
(struggling) “He might not want to come so it doesn’t matter if I want him to be there because I
wouldn’t want him to be there if he doesn’t want to be there. He probably has other plans to do
with other people.”
ANNE: “I just asked him and told him we’d enjoy him being there but if he has other
commitments, I’m sure he’ll let us know. We don’t keep grudges.” (to Louis) “Only if you’re free,
Louis.”
LOUIS: “I am free…Or I’ll be free. I’ll make time. If uh…” (stalling) “If Harry doesn’t mind…I
would only come for him—And to meet all of you, of course—But mostly to make sure he’s
alright so if this stresses him out and he wants some time away, I’m afraid I won’t push him.”
ANNE: (shaking her head, warm) “You two are ridiculous, skating around this topic like it’s a big
decision.”
HARRY: “You’d come…? Like, really?” (urgently) “You don’t need to. Like at all. Please, don’t
feel like you have to.”
LOUIS: “I don’t have to but I’d want to…” (shrugs, small) “If you want me there.”
HARRY: (giddy) “Yeah! Yeah, I do. I…I…” (getting emotional from happiness) “It’d be so cool.
It’d make me so happy but of course, if you don’t want to, I’d be happy too—I just—I’d be so…”
LOUIS: (throws one arm around him casually, squeezes him, while facing the screen) “Mother
Anne, I made a mistake couple weeks ago. Did Harry tell you?”
HARRY: (comforted, wriggles closer to Louis, whispered) “Thank you.” (Louis’ ruffles his hair)
ANNE: “What mistake, honey? Should I be worried?”
LOUIS: (grinning at Anne) “I set the room on fire!”
HARRY: (sighed) “I take that thank you back.”
Scene 2
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, Orlando, 10:21pm, AU]
LOUIS: (quietly, lingering on his feet) “Hey.”
HARRY: (sitting on the floor with a book, looks up, smiles) “What’s up?”
LOUIS: “Uh…” (shuffles on his feet) “Wanna play a game?”
HARRY: (frowns in confusion) “A game? Like, what kind?” (grins) “Are you gonna sit on my
face again because I’ll let you know, I very much enjoyed that so it wasn’t as painful as you
predicted.”
LOUIS: (half, short-lived smile) “No, yeah, I didn’t think it was either…”
HARRY: “Is something wro—“
LOUIS: “Let’s play a game, yeah?”
HARRY: “Okay. Yeah. How—“
LOUIS: “Sit on the bed.”
HARRY: (looks at the bed) “I should…” (looks at Louis, still worried, gets up, sits on the edge of
the bed) “Okay.”
LOUIS: “No, more. Like…like at the middle of it. Sit in the middle of the bed, over there.”
HARRY: (slowly does as told) “Alright. Is this good?”
LOUIS: “Yeah…” (coughs to makes his voice stronger) “Yeah, that’s fine, perfect. That’s—that’s
good.”
HARRY: “Louis, is everything okay?”
LOUIS: “Yeah. It is. Just…” (takes a deep breath, looks at Harry for the first time) “The game
works like this. I will turn off the lights and we’ll pretend that—that that is a new universe, like
separate from this one—completely different world where it’s just you and me and no one else and
we’re not these people.”
HARRY: (lost) “Uh, is this…like fantasy? I can’t tell if it’s a joke and I’m a bit scared because I
don’t wanna get punched in the dance.”
LOUIS: (snorts) “Right, I guess I don’t have the best track record when it comes to this stuff. But
just…go along with it for a bit, okay?” (bites his lip) “Just a bit.”
HARRY: (nods, smiles to comfort him) “We’ll turn off the lights and then it’ll be a blank slate, far
away from here. Just you and me.”
LOUIS: (relieved) “Yeah. Like that, okay?” (rushed) “And you’ll go along with it? You’ll trust me
and you’ll go along with it?”
HARRY: “Yes.”
LOUIS: “Okay…” (gathering strength) “Okay. Okay then. I’ll just…” (hesitates, finally with
another breath, turns off the lights, room in complete darkness, whispering now) “Lemme just get
over there.”
HARRY: (whispering as well) “Need help?” (Louis reaches blindly, Harry grabs his arm guides
him on the bed) “I’m right here.” (Louis sits in front of Harry, very close, between his legs)
“Good?”
LOUIS: (nods, realizes, breathy) “Yeah…” (leans into him, forehead on Harry’s shoulder) “Yeah,
I’m good. I’m okay…”
HARRY: (worried but hides it) “What next?”
LOUIS: (vulnerable, small) “Hug me?”
HARRY: (immediately wraps his arms around Louis’ body, pulls him close) “What’s wrong,
darling?”
LOUIS: “Nothing, just…” (nuzzles into Harry’s neck for a bit) “Just…” (wraps his arms around
Harry’s neck, tight, clinging to him) “Wanted to tell you a story.”
HARRY: (rubbing his back) “I like stories… Tell me…”
LOUIS: “You won’t like this one. It isn’t a good story.”
HARRY: (gulps in fear) “What kind of story is it then?”
LOUIS: (face in Harry’s neck still) “One that I hate. But I want you to know… So you know…
But only in this universe, not in the other one. In the other one, I’m normal and nothing has…”
(struggling) “You know? Nothing.”
HARRY: “Of course. This is different. Just you and me.”
LOUIS: “Yeah…” (breathing heavier) “Yeah, just you and me.” (holds him tighter) “I’m gonna
say it all at once, the story. Very quickly. Rip off the bandaid.” (pulls away, facing him in the
darkness, rocking back and forth, clearly nervous) “And I want you to say something smart—I
need you to do that—I’ve heard everything else, cheesy, sentimental, bullshit, everything else. I
need smart. Can you do that?”
HARRY: (stunned) “Ye—yeah.”
LOUIS: “Don’t go shy on me. It’s my turn to be coddled. That means you have to be the strong
one.”
HARRY: (nodding slowly, pursues his lips) “I’ll be as strong as you need me to be.”
LOUIS: (nods, silent for a few more minutes, absent-mindedly fidgeting with Harry’s t-shirt,
finally) “I wasn’t supposed to be born. My mother didn’t plan for me. She didn’t want me. She was
raped. I’m a rape-baby.”
HARRY: (slowly pulls Louis back in his arms) “There’s no such thing as a rape baby.” (holds him
tighter, inhaling deeply) “You were the light at the end of the tunnel, a reason for her to keep living
and keep smiling. Nothing of you relates to that vile act—You’re beyond it, much larger.” (Louis
tears up, sniffles, bites his lip to stop) “You were her sunshine.” (lower, foreheads against each
other, smiling) “Like you’re my sunshine.”
LOUIS: (speechless, glances at Harry’s lips, back to his eyes, slowly lids his eyes, bites the inside
of his cheek, guilty) “I have many stories like that one… Many stories that…” (sad) “That I can
only tell in the dark.”
HARRY: (cups his face) “It’s always dark at night and we’ll be spending many nights together so
we’ll get through them all eventually.”
LOUIS: (looks down, genuine smile on his face) “For all it’s worth…” (rubbing Harry’s t-shirt
between his fingers) “While we’re still here…”
HARRY: “Yeah?”
LOUIS: (hesitating, fighting himself) “I uh…” (squints his eyes shut, changes his mind, coughs) “I
have to test you first.”
HARRY: “Hmm?”
LOUIS: (suddenly stands up, crawls out of the bed, feels the wall for the light, touches the edge of
the switch, wipes his eyes with one arm while his other hand is on the switch) “I need to know…”
(trails off, flicks on the light, looks at Harry)
HARRY: (smiles widely at him, edges up from the bed, Louis holds his breath) “Want pizza?”
(walks past him into the kitchen) “It’s stinking up the fridge…”
LOUIS: (awed, between shock and joy, looks at the floor, coughing to himself in disbelief)
“Shit…”
HARRY: (still in the kitchen) “Yeah?”
LOUIS: (grinning, louder) “Yeah.”

Languish
Chapter 74: Languish
[Cocoa Beach, Orlando, 11:21am, Kook]
JOSH: (standing in the middle of the beach, already in trunks) “Lou-Lou, where’s your rubber?”
LOUIS: (walking up to them, holding a surfboard) “I have it, don’t you worry."
HARRY: (beside him with a backpack on his back and one in his arms) “Rubber?” (to himself)
“This might actually be fun.”
SANDY: “And him?” (motions to Harry) “Is he going in with a rashie?”
LOUIS: (dropping the board on the sand) “If he’s going in at all. He’s too Harry for this sport.”
HARRY: (nods) “Yes.” (puts the bags down) “I don’t wanna die.”
DAN: “You won’t die. We’ll teach you. We taught Lou.” (Louis waves them off) “Though he likes
to pretend he’s all that.”
HARRY: (notices Nick, smiles warmly) “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met.” (extends his hand) “I’m
Harry.”
NICK: (shakes his hand) “I”m gay—I mean Nick. I’m Nick.” (flustered, chuckling) “And gay too,
I guess…I’m just new at this."
LOUIS: (deadpanned) “Awesome.”
NICK: (winces) “Sorry.”
HARRY: (smiles to ease the tension) “That is awesome. I wish everyone was that clear about it.
There wouldn’t be any mixed signals.”
NICK: “There’s none when it comes to you.”
LOUIS: (high-pitched, sarcastic) “Awesome!”
HARRY: (oblivious) “Uh… I don’t…”
JOSH: (interjecting) “Ha, right. Can we move beyond this part of the afternoon where we all
wanna go drown ourselves after having witnessed this?”
NICK: (awkward chuckle) “I’m…sorry—Not normally like this…”
LOUIS: (interrupting him, sarcastic) “Good going, Dan. Consider this a viable career option.”
(walks towards the beach but not before nudging Nick 'accidentally') “Oops, sorry, gay, I mean
Nick.”
SANDY: (mumbled, dreading it) “This is gonna be fun…”

JOSH: (excited) “This is gonna be fun. I am ready for this. Lemme just get into my bunker so I
don’t get killed by shrapnel when this all goes to shit.”
LOUIS: (by the beach) “Haz, come play.”
HARRY: (looks at the boys gingerly) “I’m gonna…” (points to Louis) “Go. There. With him.”
(runs up to where Louis is splashing his feet on the water, visibly more at ease, smiling) “Hi,
fishy.”
LOUIS: (smiles back) “My name’s not fishy. My name’s ‘straight’.”
HARRY: (rolls his eyes) “Give him a break. He’s like me, a nervous wreck.”
LOUIS: (tackles him into a hug) “No. He’s not like you.”
HARRY: “No? I’m worse than that?” (looks down to see Louis grin at him) “It takes a bit of time
for new gays to be casual again.”
LOUIS: (mumbled against Harry’s shirt) “I bet I wouldn’t be like that.”
HARRY: (looking at the sea, still hugging Louis) “No you wouldn’t, would you?”
NICK: (a few feet away, to Dan) “So…are they dating?”
DAN: (placing the towels down) “Eh. Who knows?”
NICK: “Is that why he was so aggressive?”
DAN: “No, that’s just him. He’s our little hedgehog. Takes a while to learn how to pick him up
properly.”
JOSH: “They’re not dating. Louis would die before he dated a man.”
DAN: “That’s true. He’d rather date chairs.”
NICK: “Ah…”
JOSH: “But I wouldn’t go for it if I were you.”
NICK: “Why not?”
JOSH: (teasing him) “You don’t have the balls.”
NICK: (shoves him away) “Yes, I do.”
DAN: “Nope. You don’t. Louis will eat you alive.”
LOUIS: (snaps himself out of the hug, pushes Harry away) “Let’s swim!” (tries to run back in the
water) “Shark time.”
HARRY: (grabs his arm, pulls him back) “Sunscreen first.”
LOUIS: (pulling away, making whiny noises) “No, mom, no.”

HARRY: (amused) “Yes. Or you’ll get cancers.”
LOUIS: (screechy) “Let go.”
HARRY: (lets him go, Louis slumps on the sand, chest first) “Okay.”
LOUIS: (sits up, spits sand out) “Why did you do that, you monster?”
HARRY: “You said let go so I let go.”
LOUIS: (let’s himself fall back on the sand, starts flopping around) “Oh no. Fish out of water.
Fish will die.”
HARRY: (rolling his eyes) “Get up.”
LOUIS: (fake gasps) “Fish is dying. No. Help!”
SANDY: (walks by with his surfboard, sees him, sighs to himself) “You have issues…” (starts
going in)
LOUIS: (flips Sandy off before going back to his previous state) “Fish needs to be thrown back in
the sea.”
HARRY: “Oh, come on.” (lowers down, grabs his arm starts pulling him up, Louis resists, drops
him back down) “Fishy needs to be oiled up and cooked for dinner.” (kneels on the floor, starts
tickling him, Louis laughs) “Yummy dinner.” (nuzzles Louis’ neck, gives him a raspberry)
LOUIS: (in between laughter) “Why the hell are you like this?” (pushes Harry's face away,
grinning) “Fucking weirdo.”
HARRY: (leaning over him, fond) “Says the fish.”
LOUIS: “Bite me.”
HARRY: (smirks) “Okay.” (leans down, Louis screams some more vulgarities) “Hush, now. Let
me enjoy my food.” (nips Louis’ nose, Louis blushes from head to toe, Harry is oblivious) “If you
sniffle, you’re dead.”
LOUIS: (too stunned to laugh, flushed, breathy) “You’re weird…”
HARRY: (smiles) “You already said that.”
LOUIS: (staring at him, confessing) “Yeah, but…But you are…This is weird…Feels weird.”
HARRY: (frowning lightly) “I’m sorry?”
LOUIS: (looks away, shakes it off) “No, no, not like that. I don’t care.”
HARRY: (cocks his head sideways, still next to him) “I’m sorry, Lou… I didn’t mean to cross the
line.”
LOUIS: “You didn’t.”
HARRY: (sits back on his heels again) “I’ll go get the sunscreen.” (stands up, walks towards the
bags) “Don’t get in yet.”
LOUIS: (closes his eyes, groans under his breath) “Goddammit.”
HARRY: (walks to the bags where Dan and Nick are standing) “You guys going in?”
DAN: “I’m going in now.” (sprints away, calling for Josh) “Yo, assface, swim between the flags.”
NICK: “Wanna come with? Do you surf?”
HARRY: “I’ve never tried but I want to. Looks fun.” (about to head back, changes his mind,
lingers a bit more, smiling at Nick) “And you? You surf?”
NICK: (excited) “Yeah. I have for a while. I could teach you. It’s easier if you do it with someone
else first. And I’m saying that in the least creepy way possible. I used to be a surf instructor for
Disney.”
HARRY: (genuinely interested) “You don’t say? Sounds fun. I work for Disney now.”
NICK: “You love it? You look like you would.”
HARRY: “I do. Adore it. What happened? Why’d you leave?”
NICK: (shrugs) “I got a job at a radio station and it was what I wanted to do so—“
HARRY: (eyes wide) “You work for a radio station? Wow. I uh sing, well, my ex sings better than
me. He’s up and coming.”
NICK: “Yeah? What’s his name?”
HARRY: “Oh, I don’t know if you’d have heard of him…”
NICK: “We do this segment on new singers so I might have.”
HARRY: “Huh. He’s English—“
NICK: “Me too.”
HARRY: “Me three. Funny how that works out.”
NICK: “His name?”
HARRY: “Oh. Ed—“
NICK: (giddy) “Sheeran? I’ve met him!”
HARRY: (gaping) “No fucking way.”
NICK: “Red-head, tatted up—That’s your ex?”
HARRY: “Yup, that’s my ex.”
NICK: “Oh man, then I have no shot, eh? That dude was cool as hell. If you left him…”
HARRY: (laughs) “Ha, well, you know how that song and dance goes… Can’t believe you’ve
met him. He’s doing well then?”
NICK: “Yeah, really well. He’s touring soon and he’s good. He deserves it.”
HARRY: (soft) “He does. He deserves it so much. I’m so happy for him…”
NICK: “How about you—You sing too, you should do an interview for us or showcase a song or
something?”
HARRY: (blushing, flattered) “Nah.”
NICK: “I’m serious. If you have anything written out, we could totally help you. Could be fun.
Been in a studio before?”
HARRY: “Lived in one.”
NICK: “Right. The hot, famous ex thing.”
HARRY: (flirting) “Hey, I thought you were hitting on me here, not my ex.”
NICK: (laughs) “Can’t I have both?”
HARRY: “Ha! Well, if you get him on board, I might just have to jump on.”
NICK: “Two for one deal, ey!”
HARRY: (teasing) “I’m half-off because I’m not hot and famous.”
NICK: “You’re pretty hot.”
HARRY: “Not bad yourself. Maybe instead of introducing yourself as gay, you should introduce
yourself as hot.”
NICK: “That was bad. I'm sorry for that..." (bites his lip) “Well, if you want surfing lessons, you
know where to find me.”
HARRY: “Cool. I’ll do this and come back…” (starts walking, turns around) “Warning you
though, I’m the clumsiest turd on this planet.”
NICK: “Don’t be filthy.”
HARRY: “Don’t be Ed.”
NICK: (mock serious) “Hey, hey. It’d be an honor to be Ed.”
HARRY: “Ah, you've subscribed to a lifetime of sucking up to Ed Sheeran then.”
NICK: “Sucking on.”
HARRY: (laughs) “Filthy!”
NICK: “Come back soon, Ed’s ex.”

HARRY: “Will do.” (walks back to where Louis is now sitting cross-legged on the sand, eyes
glaring at a hole he absentmindedly dug up) “Here you go.” (extends him the cream) “Won’t take
too long then you can swim.” (Louis doesn’t make a move to take it) “Louis?”
LOUIS: (still looking down, mumbled) “I’m gonna be honest, I’m having a hard time swallowing
this you-flirting-with-other-people pill.”
HARRY: (face falls) “I’m sorry I—“
LOUIS: (smacks the ground) “No. Don’t be sorry. There’s nothing to be sorry about.” (looks at
him, troubled) “I’m jealous because I’m dumb. This is a me thing. I should be sorry.”
HARRY: “I shouldn’t be doing it in front of my friends. It’s a shit thing to do.”
LOUIS: (palms his face) “It’s not…” (whispered) “It’s not.”
HARRY: (sits beside him, cautious) “Put sunscreen on your cheeks.” (Louis turns to face him,
Harry touches his face briefly) “You’re pink already.”
LOUIS: (pulls away reluctantly) “Go first so you can try surfing while the boys are still there to
help.”
HARRY: “Aren’t you coming?” (takes off his shirt, Louis keeps his eyes nailed on the sand) “You
wanted to go in before.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, I’ll come. When I’m…” (catches sight of Harry lathering his chest with
sunscreen, flails, frozen between shame and horror and fascination) “Uh…”
HARRY: (raises an eyebrow) “When you’re what?”
LOUIS: (gulps) “Done…here…” (looks away, heavily flushed) “After you’re done.”
HARRY: (oblivious, still spreading the cream on his abs, v-line, thighs) “You seem red already.
Put some on, love. I don’t want you in pain later.”
LOUIS: “I’m not.” (glances at him, bites his lip, glances back down, tense) “I’m okay…”
HARRY: (noticing) “Is something wrong? Do you need water?” (crouches beside him, touches his
shoulder innocently) “Do you need me to do it for you?”
LOUIS: (jerks away) “No.” (stands up stiffly, practically runs towards the beach) “Leave it
alone.”
HARRY: (confused) “Louis?”
LOUIS: (water up to his stomach) “I’m okay, alright? I’m fucking okay. Stop hovering.”
HARRY: (taken aback) “I’m…not.”
LOUIS: (ignores him, goes deeper in, facing away, hands in front of his swimming trunks, eyes
wet, to himself) “This is wrong…”
HARRY: (worried, hand in his curls, pacing at the beach) “Lou, I’m sorry!”
LOUIS: (bites his lip, shakes his head, voice shaky) “For what?” (dives in, starts swimming away)
NICK: (walks up to Harry) “Is everything okay?”
HARRY: (shakes his head, can’t even bother faking a smile) “Yeah.”
NICK: “Did something happen—“
HARRY: (snappy) “Yeah, okay?”
NICK: (awkward) “Sorry.” (starts walking away)
HARRY: “No, I didn’t mean…that.” (closes his eyes in frustration, sighs, goes back to the bags,
starts straightening the towels)
LOUIS: (runs up to him, dripping water, panting) “Harry?”
HARRY: (on his knees, flips around, surprised) “Hi…”
LOUIS: (out of breath) “I’m sorry.” (slumps on the towel in front of Harry, hugs him) “I’m sorry I
like you so much that I can’t share you with others…”
HARRY: (hugs him back) “I’m sorry you feel like you’ll ever have to.”
Lethal
Chapter 75: Lethal
[Cocoa Beach, Orlando, 3:26pm, How To Lose Friends & Make Enemies Part 1]
JOSH: (sitting down on the sand, Sandy by his side) “Louis, Dan told us a little secret.”
DAN: (blowing up a beach ball, stops to talk) “I did?”
SANDY: “Yeah, you did.”
LOUIS: (laying down, sunbathing, unfazed) “I bet.”
JOSH: “We know your dirty, little secret now.”
LOUIS: “I bet.”
JOSH: “But now we have to see for ourselves.” (winks at Sandy who grins back) “To make sure
his intel’s good, you know?”
LOUIS: “What are you on about—“ (Josh jumps on him, legs on either side, pins him down on the
sand) “The fuck are you doing, shit-head?”
JOSH: (to Sandy. giddy) “Get him. Get him.”
SANDY: (giggling) “On it.’
DAN: “Guys…”
LOUIS: (really starting to worry now) “What the hell are you—“ (bucks against him) “Get off
me, fatass. You’re squishing my spleen.”
DAN: (unsure) “Guys, someone’s gonna get really hurt.”
JOSH: (smirking down at him) “We wanna see the crotch tatt.”
SANDY: “Yup.” (starting to pull at Louis’ swimming trunks) “You can’t be on third base with Dan
and not us.”
LOUIS: (jerks against him) “No!” (audibly panicked) “Wait, no—wait, stop. Wait.” (fighting
against Josh who’s still holding him put) “You have to—go—stop—go from the top. I can—from
the top—don’t pull—stop!” (kicking at Sandy to prevent him from latching onto his bottoms)
“Don’t touch me—Josh, stop, man.”
JOSH: (oblivious, chuckling) “Squirmy, aren’t you? Like a fish.”
SANDY: “Fishy!”
DAN: “Guys, I don’t think this is a joke anymore. Get off him—“
SANDY: “So close.” (just when he’s about to yank the trunks down, he gets a good kick to the
face) “Shit!” (hands on his nose) “Oh, god, he kicked me—I don’t have a nose anymore.” (fanning
his face, hissing) “Oh, it hurts, puta. He kicks hard.”
DAN: (moving by his side to check on him) “I told you. Lemme see—I told you, dammit. Stop
now.”
JOSH: (distracted, as he looks back, amused) “You okay, bro?”
LOUIS: (bucks wildly, shoves him off) “Get off or I’ll really hurt you both.” (scrambles to stand
up, Josh latches on to his pants) “Let go.” (they’re playing tug of war on the shorts) “This isn’t
funny. Let go!”
SANDY: (holds onto Josh’s torso, both pull) “Just do it already before I get killed. I sacrificed my
good-looks for this.”
DAN: (grabs Sandy by the waist, yanks him off) “Enough already. He’s not having fun.”
JOSH: (pulling hard enough for them to slide down an inch) “Oh, someone doesn’t manscape, it
seems.”
LOUIS: (hyperventilating, clutching the top of his trunks with raw fingers, screechy) “Stop!
Enough. Stop.” (screaming) “Harry!”
HARRY: (standing by the beach, talking to Nick, flips around mid-sentence, frowns) “What are
they doing to him?”
NICK: (turns too) “Fooling around probab—“
LOUIS: (scared, small) “Harry, please—!”
JOSH: (mocking) “Harry, your damsel’s in distress.”
LOUIS: (almost sobbed) “Harry!”
HARRY: (angry now) “What the fuck are they doing to him?” (sprints over, threatening) “Get off
him!”
JOSH: (teasing, playful, still pulling at Louis’ shorts) “Oh, reinforcements then!”
SANDY: “Two against two, huh, mate? (makes to run back to the action) “Seems fair.”
DAN: (holds him back, stern) “Stop.”
LOUIS: (distressed, trying to move away, struggling, brokenly) “Stop, please. I’ll show you, just
please, let go—I’ll show you, okay?“
HARRY: (runs over, viciously shoves Josh so he falls on the sand, feral) “If he says stop, you
fucking stop!”
DAN: “Jesus Christ.”
SANDY: (snapped awake, worried now) “Easy.”
NICK: (having run over as well) “What’s going on?”

DAN: (to Nick) “Prank gone sour.”
HARRY: (standing in front of Louis protectively, heaving, furious) “Don’t touch him like that or I
swear…”
JOSH: (standing up, shaking himself off) “Oh, shy kid has a bad boy side, ey?” (provoking him)
“Let’s see what you got then.”
HARRY: (charges him without thinking twice, tackles him to the sand) “You wanna see?”
LOUIS: (squeaked out) “Harry!”
JOSH: (caught off guard, raises his hands to show he means well) “Woah, woah, woah.”
DAN: (pulls Harry away before he can land a punch) “Stop. Hey, easy, buddy.”
HARRY: (shoves Dan away, so riled up he’s shaking, egging Josh on) “Come on then, coward.
All bark, no bite?”
LOUIS: (stunned at this side of Harry) “Harry…”
JOSH: “Oh, you’re for real?” (stands up, puffs up) “You wanna do this for real?”
SANDY: (steps in between them) “No one’s doing anything for real.”
DAN: “Lou…” (motions with his eyes towards Harry) “Do something.”
LOUIS: (touching Harry’s arm) “Harry.” (Harry doesn’t look at him, still glaring at Josh)
“Harry?” (clutching his arm, shaking him, desperate) “Hazza.”
HARRY: “Stay put.”
NICK: “Harry?”
LOUIS: (forceful) “You shut up! This doesn’t concern you. I can handle this myself.”
NICK: (offended) “Don’t play hero if you need saving, buddy.”
LOUIS: (walks around to stand in front of him, worried) “Hey.” (Harry doesn’t react) “Hey.”
(cups Harry’s face to force him to look down) “Hey. I’m okay.” (Harry bites his lip) “I’m alright.
I’m okay.”
HARRY: (nods) “I just…I…”
LOUIS: “I know.” (lets go of his face to grab Harry’s hands, still in fists, knuckles white) “I know
how you get…” (caressing his knuckles with his thumbs) “And I’m telling you everything’s okay.”
HARRY: (sighs, relaxes somewhat) “Okay.”
JOSH: (entertained mostly, not fully aware of the gravity of the situations) “What did I just
experience?”
DAN: “Shut up, seriously. I’ve had it with you today.”
JOSH: (pouts) “What did I—“
DAN: “Shut it.” (puts his palm on Josh’s face) “Shh.”
JOSH: (sighs, doesn’t pull away as Dan wraps his arm around his shoulders) “No one’s fun
anymore.”
LOUIS: (to Josh) “You don’t want him to come at you, trust me. It doesn’t end well for you if you
get him this angry.”
SANDY: “We were playing. This whole thing just escalated so quickly. It was a joke—“
HARRY: (serious) “It’s not a joke if you’re hurting him…” (Louis looks down) “So you and your
friend should keep your hands to yourselves before I break them.”
SANDY: “Uh…”
LOUIS: (blushed, trying to sound apathetic but clear from the smile on his face he’s happy)
“Okay, superhero…” (yanks Harry back, fingers wrapped around Harry’s wrist) “That’s enough.
You’ve already saved the damsel. No need for victory speeches.”
HARRY: (following him, reluctantly at first, still looking at the group warily) “I didn’t like
that…” (turning forward and walking beside Louis normally) “I don’t want them touching you
again. That’ll piss me off for real.”
LOUIS: (surprised) “For real? That back there wasn’t for real? You were about to lunge at them
and tear their throats apart.”
[Part 2]
HARRY: (outside a Starbucks, sitting on a bench with milkshakes) “What happened?”
LOUIS: (snappy) “Nothing.”
HARRY: “Nothing like—“
LOUIS: (short) “Nothing happened.”
HARRY: “So we’re gonna pretend nothing happened then…”
LOUIS: “Nothing did happen.”
HARRY: (resigned) “Okay.”
LOUIS: “Why are you making a big deal out of it?”
HARRY: “You were scared—“
LOUIS: (blushes in shame) “I was not.”
HARRY: (lost) “I’m just—“

LOUIS: (mocking) “Just what—trying to understand?”
HARRY: “Yeah…”
LOUIS: “You can’t.”
HARRY: (winces) “Right.”
LOUIS: “You can’t when it comes to this.”
HARRY: (small) “You don’t know that…”
LOUIS: (frustrated) “I wish you’d drop it. When I want to tell you stuff, I do. When I don’t, I
don’t want you breaking my balls.”
HARRY: (nods, eyes on the floor) “I’m sorry.”
LOUIS: (long, awkward silence, guiltily) “Thanks.”
HARRY: “You’re welcome.”
LOUIS: “…For what you did too.”
HARRY: “You’re welcome.” (another long silence)
LOUIS: (mumbled, looking away) “They…uh…They were trying to pull off my pants and I
freaked out.”
HARRY: “Why?”
LOUIS: (snorts sadly) “Why were they being dickheads or why did I freak out?”
HARRY: “Both.”
LOUIS: “They think the only thing I’m hiding down there is a tattoo. That’s the answer to both.”
(defensive) “Are you gonna ask now and make me freak out again?”
HARRY: “No, no…” (trails off, both stare at their drinks quietly) “I just wanted to understand…”
(shrugs) “That’s all.”
LOUIS: “They were grabbing at me… Touching me…” (reluctantly) “Inappropriately.” (clutches
the drink with both hands) “They were—It was almost like—I don’t know, I felt…not good. I
felt…I don’t know…”
HARRY: (notices the way Louis is tense and breathing quicker) “I understand now. You don’t
have to talk about it anymore…”
LOUIS: (stands up to pace around) “I know they wouldn’t hurt me, I know that. They’re my
friends—They wouldn’t…I know, okay? I’m not a prude—I get it. It was a joke.” (trying to
convince himself at this point) “They were joking—They thought it was funny. It was funny. It was
funny…” (quietly) “It was funny, I get it.”
HARRY: (following him with his eyes) “Sit back down.”

LOUIS: (ignoring him) “But it hurts me when people…When they look like they…” (sees Harry
pat the bench) “I’m trying to explain, wait…I’m trying to think…”
HARRY: “Alright. Take your time.”
LOUIS: (pained) “It…reminded me…of—of a bad thing. A different bad thing—I got
confused…”
HARRY: (reaches for him) “Louis.”
LOUIS: “What?”
HARRY: “Are you okay?”
LOUIS: (in denial) “I’m fine. Why ask?”
HARRY: “Because…” (sad) “Because you’re…”
LOUIS: “Why?” (touches his face urgently) “Am I crying?”
HARRY: “No… Do you feel like cry—“
LOUIS: “No! No.” (tries to force a smile) “I just do that sometimes—Cry randomly. It’s dumb. I
don’t—I don’t…”
HARRY: “Louis, you’re going to talk yourself into a panic at—“
LOUIS: “No, no. No…”
HARRY: (stands up to approach him, careful) “It’s okay— Don’t talk about it anymore.”
LOUIS: (looks at the floor, notices he’s hyperventilating) “Shit. I’m doing it again, right?”
HARRY: “It’s okay.”
LOUIS: “I’m freaking out again?”
HARRY: “A bit. It’s okay.”
LOUIS: (pleading) “Close your eyes!”
HARRY: “What?”
LOUIS: (heaving now) “Close your eyes, please, close your eyes.”
HARRY: “Okay.” (not closing them, too worried) “I will but—“
LOUIS: (leaning on the bench as if he’s gonna throw up) “I feel sick.”
HARRY: “Sit down. It’s okay, it’ll pass. You’re frazzled—”
LOUIS: “Close your eyes!” (wavering on his feet)
HARRY: (concerned) “Louis—“

LOUIS: “Close your damned eyes—I can’t do this with you here.”
HARRY: “I know what it feels like—I’ve been there—I can help—”
LOUIS: “Close your eyes!”
HARRY: “Don’t push me away. I can help.”
LOUIS: “Harry, please, please.” (crying without noticing) “Please, pretend, please.”
HARRY: (solemn, nodding, whispered) “Okay, can you come here though?” (motions for him to
come closer) “I’ll close my eyes as long as I can hug you so I make sure you’re not going to faint
without me there to catch you.”
LOUIS: “Harry…”
HARRY: “Come.” (opens his arms) “Come and I’ll close my eyes and pretend I’m not here and I
don’t know any of this. Just come.” (closes his eyes) “Look, my eyes are closed. You’re safe now.
You’re alone. You can let go. Just come, please.”
LOUIS: (hesitates, flailing between whimpering and trying to hold it together) “It’s nothing—I’m
not—“ (Harry shushes him, Louis inches forward slowly until he’s in Harry’s embrace) “Are your
eyes still closed?”
HARRY: (hugs him tightly) “Yup.”
LOUIS: (clutching his shirt, face buried in his chest) “It’s gonna happen.” (talking mostly to
himself) “It’s gonna happen now because I’ve gotten this far. I’m gonna have one for real—a real
one.”
HARRY: “A panic attack?”
LOUIS: “Yeah.” (hurriedly, grasping at straws of control) “Nothing happens after. I know that.
It’s not—I’m not going to die—I know that—” (coughing for breath, forcing himself to talk) “I
know. None of this…” (sobs, coughs) “None of what I’m feeling is real right now. I know that.”
(Harry rocks him sideways gently, caressing his back) “I don’t wanna die…I don’t wanna be
here…I don’t want this to happen anymore.”
Labile
Chapter 76: Labile
Scene 1
[Simon’s Office, Walt Disney World in Florida, 1:47pm, Bad News Come in One-s]
LOUIS: (mild irritation) “I did not appreciate that joke, I’ll let you know.”
SIMON: “What joke?”
LOUIS: “That joke of an email you send with that joke of a suggestion.”
SIMON: “It wasn’t a joke. I was being serious.”
LOUIS: “Why—What was the point of that?”
SIMON: “I just wanted to ask if you wanted to move into a bigger room. I know Harry’s room has
a double bed but it’s still pretty cramped for two people to live in it.” (aside) “And it’s actually
more cost effective for us to move you both in a double and open up the singles.”
LOUIS: (blurting) “We’re not married!”
SIMON: (dry) “I know. I hope I’d have been invited to the wedding, since I made it happen, you
know?”
LOUIS: “Simon.”
SIMON: “What? Two people can’t live together without being married now? Have you never
been to college?”
LOUIS: “We don’t wanna live together.”
SIMON: (unimpressed) “Uh-huh…”
LOUIS: (flustered) “We don’t. We need our space. I need my space. I need my room.”
SIMON: “You never use your room.”
LOUIS: “How the fuck do you know what I do?”
SIMON: “Language.”
LOUIS: (ignoring him) “Do you stalk me now?”
SIMON: “I know because the staff notifies me of these things, like never having to clean your
room and having to suddenly pick up dirty underwear from the floor of Harry’s when he’s known
to be the one to not even need room service with how much he cleans.”
LOUIS: “That’s disgusting.”

SIMON: “I know. You should consider picking up after yourself.”
LOUIS: “No, it’s disgusting that you know that—that that knowledge spreads like gono.”
SIMON: “Gono is spreading? That’s disgusting.”
LOUIS: “Look, I don’t want to move. I want to keep my room incase I need it.”
SIMON: “To hide.”
LOUIS: (frustrated) “To do whatever the hell I wanna do, Simon. I don’t need to report to you on
how I use my personal space.”
SIMON: (sighs heavily) “Alright, okay. Pardon me for asking. I’m only trying to make your stay
more comfortable. Jesus. You’d think I was recruiting you to do the housekeeping.”
LOUIS: “Why me? Why ask me?”
SIMON: “I asked both of you.”
LOUIS: “You asked Harry too?”
SIMON: “Yeah. I thought you didn’t have the right to make the decision for the household, since
you’re not married yet and all.”
LOUIS: “What did he say?”
SIMON: “What does it matter?”
LOUIS: “What. Did he say?”
SIMON: “I’m not going to tell you because it does not matter. What’s the point of me telling
you?”
LOUIS: “Because I wanna know. I need to know.”
SIMON: “Why?”
LOUIS: “I need to know. Tell me if he said yes to moving in with me.”
SIMON: “Would it change your mind?”
LOUIS: “Yes—No. I don’t know. No. I need my room. I’m not giving up my room. I’m not living
with him day in and day out.”
SIMON: “Don’t you already do that?”
LOUIS: “Some days.”
SIMON: “Some days…”
LOUIS: “A lot of days.” (explodes) “It doesn’t matter how many days. Living with people ruins
relationships. It ruins you. You’re never supposed to live with your best friends. It doesn’t end
well. Me and Niall couldn’t stand each other for a semester.”
SIMON: “But you seem to stand Harry just fine.”
LOUIS: “What are you saying?”
SIMON: “Maybe he’s not your best friend.”
LOUIS: (high-pitched) “What are you taking about? What the hell is this about? What am I being
asked about here?”
SIMON: “I’m just saying by that definition maybe he’s not your best friend since you can live
with him but you can’t live with your best friend.”
LOUIS: “What is he then if not my best friend?”
SIMON: (sarcastic) “Your husband. Who cares?”
LOUIS: “Obviously you do if you stalk us.”
SIMON: “I don’t stalk you. You can’t even begin to imagine how low this is on my list of things
to think about. I just noticed and thought I’d offer. You don’t want to. Fine. I’m sorry for asking.
Let’s move on.”
LOUIS: “Let’s.”
SIMON: “I need to talk to you about something serious anyway.”
LOUIS: (sarcastic) “More serious than me moving in with my husband? What could it possibly
be? Oh, I know, could it be, perhaps, something job-related since you are, you know, my
employer, not my marriage counselor.”
SIMON: “Did you get it all out of your system, the sarcasm? Can we proceed without? Because
this is serious.”
LOUIS: “Shoot.”
SIMON: “Louis.”
LOUIS: (rolling his eyes) “Okay, I got it. I’m braced.”
SIMON: “I sure hope you are…”
LOUIS: “What is it?”
SIMON: “Well, Louis…” (exhales) “It’s about Ashton.”
LOUIS: (straightens in his seat immediately) “What about him?”
SIMON: (uncomfortable) “His…’condition’ is not getting any better.”
LOUIS: “He doesn’t have a condition.”
SIMON: “What does he have then?”
LOUIS: “Nothing.”
SIMON: “Alright…” (pause, tense atmosphere) “His nothing is not getting any better. It’s getting
worst actually.”
LOUIS: “No, it’s not.”
SIMON: (palming his forehead) “Yes, it is. We’ve been receiving a lot of complaints and…and
worried parents, other employees—“
LOUIS: (vicious) “That’s bullcrap!”
SIMON: “It’s not. It’s important to us what people think. It’s important that we listen to their
feedback and take into account what they say. It’s important that we keep this place safe and
happy, how it’s supposed to be. This issue is very important.”
LOUIS: “So what are you saying?”
SIMON: “I’m telling you first because I know how much you care about him and I want you
to…” (wincing as he says this) “Well, to be there for him and support him he finds out.”
LOUIS: (muted shock, shaking his head) “Don’t do this.”
SIMON: (sympathetic) “We need to let him go—“
LOUIS: (pained, loud) “Don’t do this! Don’t fuckin—No. You can’t.”
SIMON: “Louis.”
LOUIS: “You can’t. He’s young. He’s a baby. He has no one. He needs this job. Don’t do this to
him.”
SIMON: “He needs to get help, Louis. He’s not getting help here.”
LOUIS: (desperate) “So what, you’re gonna force this ultimatum on him? For his job? For money
he needs to feed himself—His family is half-way across the world. He can’t go back. He needs
this.”
SIMON: “I understand and that’s why I’ve been lenient. You told me you were there for him so I
turned a blind eye the first few times, the first year even. I saw it and pretended it was alright, like
you said. But I can’t anymore. My job doesn’t allow me to. This is Disney. He represents us. He
could become news.”
LOUIS: (scoffs) “So it’s all about that then. Image.”
SIMON: “It’s not just about image. Think about the kids, teens, people who could have… I don’t
know, a negative reaction to it. Think about the people looking up to him, seeing that—“
LOUIS: “You make it sound like he’s a leper. There’s nothing wrong with him.”
SIMON: “He cuts his arms, Louis. Not once or twice. Not lightly.”
LOUIS: (brokenly, furious, emotional) “What would you rather him do? Cut his stomach?! Cut
somewhere hidden just so you and your industry and your customers are not disturbed by his pain.
Does he need to apologize to you for feeling like shit? Would you rather he kept it all bottled inside
so nobody ever knew how bad it got and when it hit and when he needed help the most and when
he relapsed and when he wanted some—some fucking compassion for god’s sake. He’s a kid. You
think he wants to be this way? He’s trying his goddamn best.”
SIMON: (somber) “I understand all of that.”
LOUIS: “Stop repeating that when you don’t.” (shaking his head) “You clearly don’t.”
SIMON: “I do, Louis. Or at least I’m trying to. I’m trying to understand. But you want me to
ignore the fact that the cuts are there—You want me to treat him like a normal—“
LOUIS: (through grit teeth) “He is normal.”
SIMON: “You want me to treat him like nothing is wrong and at the same time you want me to
notice when it’s bad and offer help. Which one is it? If you say people shouldn’t address it in front
of him then it’s as good as hidden—It’s as good as him cutting his chest.”
LOUIS: “I’m not asking you to do anything. Just…don’t make his life worse. He needs to be here
where his family is—we are his family. Alone, he’ll never be strong enough to defeat this. He
needs to stay here. You can’t fire him.”
SIMON: “What do you want him to do?”
LOUIS: (gets out of his chair, kneels in front of the desk) “I’m begging you—“
SIMON: “Louis, come on.”
LOUIS: “Begging you not to do this.”
SIMON: “Get up.”
LOUIS: “I will get him help. I’ll talk to him. I’ll do whatever it takes—You can have one up on
me forever, hold this over my head, make me work extra hours and shit, I don’t care. But please,
let him stay.” (almost in tears) “Please.”
SIMON: (sighs) “I will look into options. Have him transferred perhaps to do…other work. At
least for a bit, until things get better. He’ll be out of the terrain but he’ll have a job and he can stay
in the hotel, maybe work in the hotel.”
LOUIS: (sits back on the chair, relieved) “Thank you.”
SIMON: “But. He needs to start intensive therapy. With one of our counselors. So we can track his
progress. It has to be willing and ongoing. If I’m letting him stay, I’m done with this wait for him
to understand crap. It’s intervention time. You need to let him know that we need him on therapy.
He listens to you so it’ll feel less mandatory.”
LOUIS: (snorts sarcastically) “Less mandatory.”
SIMON: (serious) “Talk to him.”
LOUIS: “I will. I’ll…let him know. I’ll let him know and have him come to you for the new
position.”
SIMON: “Good.”
LOUIS: (more to himself) “He won’t be too happy.”
SIMON: “I can’t imagine he can be with how things are going.”
LOUIS: (purses his lips) “But he’ll be here. He’ll be with me and Luke and the group. That’s all
that matters.”
SIMON: “If you say so.”
LOUIS: (starts getting up) “Well, if that was all for today, I’d like to go get my third coffee of the
day now.”
SIMON: “Can’t be good having that much caffeine.”
LOUIS: (on the way to the door) “Some days you need it.”
SIMON: (before he leaves, door open) “Louis.”
LOUIS: “Yeah?”
SIMON: “He said yes.”
LOUIS: “Huh?”
SIMON: “Harry said yes.”
LOUIS: “To what?”
SIMON: “Moving in with you. He said yes and he didn’t hesitate. He replied within minutes.”
(Louis seems lost for words) “I’ll give you a couple of days to think on it. If you find yourself
changing your mind, let me know. He didn’t seem to have a doubt about you.”
LOUIS: (sadder) “No, I didn’t think he would.”
SIMON: “I don’t think you need to have a doubt about him…”
LOUIS: “He’s not the one I doubt.” (pause, looks at Simon again) “I need my space. Like you
said, I need somewhere to hide.”
Scene 2
[Outside Simba’s Cub-house Childcare, Walt Disney World in Florida, 4:00pm, Two-s]
LOUIS: “Hey.”
HARRY: (smiling) “Hey there. How was Simon?”
LOUIS: (reserved) “Fine. He was…” (shaking his head) “The usual, you know.”
HARRY: “Something wrong?”
LOUIS: (snorts) “You’re too perceptive for your own good when it comes to this stuff.” (aside)
“Strange really since you’re so oblivious about all else.”
HARRY: “I know. Zayn says when I care about someone I merge with them emotionally—I feel
them…and stuff. He says it better. In better words.”
LOUIS: (not putting enough energy behind it) “I bet.”
HARRY: “Simon went off on you?”
LOUIS: “No. Well… Not more than occasionally. Not really…” (pause, Harry waits for him
patiently) “Umm… Look, Haz, remember when I said a while ago that… that sometimes I just
need to be on my own and um… You know when we had that talk and I told you not to be upset
with me if one day I do things on my own, randomly, without explanation? You remember?”
HARRY: (nodding) “I do.”
LOUIS: “Tonight’s one of those nights.” (avoiding eye contact) “I’m sleeping over mine and I
don’t want you to worry.”
HARRY: (clearly worrying) “Right, of course. Whatever you need.” (biting his lip) “You sure
there’s nothing I can do? A massage? Make cookies? I know you like vegan cookies.”
LOUIS: (smiling) “I do like them.” (smile drops) “But not tonight.”
HARRY: (warm) “That’s fine. This weekend then.”
LOUIS: “That’s fine?”
HARRY: “Why wouldn’t it be?”
LOUIS: “Thanks.” (starts inching backwards) “I’ll uh, go then… Shift’s over and thought I’d
head home early.”
HARRY: “Be safe.” (Louis nods, turns around to walk away, Harry grabs his arm, pulls him
back)
LOUIS: “Yeah?”
HARRY: (sighs, serious) “I just want us to be frank with each other. Because like you said, I don’t
do subtle that well.”
LOUIS: (confused) “Okay?”
HARRY: “This is not one of those things where you actually want me to fight for you to stay and
by doing that I show you I care, right?”
LOUIS: (surprise that turns into a chuckle, endeared) “No, you moron, it’s not. I actually need a
day off. What’d you think, I’m a basic bitch that needs chasing now?”
HARRY: (half-shrugs, smirking) “Have you ever not been?”
LOUIS: (sarcastic) “Alright.”
HARRY: (smiles, approaches him) “In that case, eat well, sleep tight.” (kisses him on the
forehead) “I’ll see you tomorrow.” (starts walking away, Louis is frozen on the spot, blushed)
“Don’t smoke too much, eh?”
LOUIS: (jogs after him, intercepts him) “I uh…thought I might…” (blushes further as he goes up
on his tip-toes to kiss Harry’s cheek) “…do that too.” (flustered as he pulls back) “Alright, bye
loser.” (jogs away) “Don’t cover the sheets in jizz.”
HARRY: “Hmm, good idea! I’ll have a jizz-marathon, a jizz-athon—cum-athon—wank-athon?”

(mock panic) “Nothing works!”
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes, fond) “Fappathon…” (smiles) “Moron.”
Scene 3
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 11:35pm, Three-s]
HARRY: (answers phone, cheeky) “Missed me this much then? I’m mid fap here. You interrupt.”
LOUIS: (sounding sick, slurred) “Help?”
HARRY: (sitting up in bed, concern flooding in) “What happened?”
LOUIS: (mumbled) “Help…”
HARRY: (standing up, panicked) “Where are you, sweetheart? Your room? Should I come to your
room?”
LOUIS: “Yeah.”
HARRY: “I’ll be right there. Stay put. I’ll be right there. Jesus Christ, what happened?” (silence,
breathing quicker as he hurries out the room) “Louis, stay with me here. Talk to me until I get
there.” (Louis groans, Harry runs up the stairs four at time) “Baby, please. Dear god, what did you
do?”
Lemonade
Chapter 77: Lemonade
[Louis' Room, Walt Disney Hotel, Orlando, 6:14am, Fanfic Written By A Wattpad Kid]
LOUIS: (opens his eyes slowly, groans, stretches, notices he's squished in between Liam and
Harry, both asleep) "What...the actual...fuc-?" (jumps into a sitting position, looks around, all four
boys are in bed with him, Zayn next to Harry and Niall cuddled in Zayn's back, snoring) "What are
we doing? What the hell-What? Just, what?"
ZAYN: (grumbles, pushes his head in the pillow) "Go to bed."
LOUIS: "What do you mean go to-Why are you here?"
LIAM: "Harry, put the baby to sleep, please. Your turn."
HARRY: (whines, half-asleep) "I did it last time."
NIALL: "No, I did it last time."
LOUIS: (still blinking into space) "This is the strangest dream...I have ever had. And you should
know, I've dreamt about vampire dildos."
NIALL: "But why though?"
LIAM: "Those exist actually."
ZAYN: "Liam knows, he has one up his ass."
LIAM: (reaches over Harry lazily to smack Zayn) "You'll have mine up your ass if you don't shut
it."
ZAYN: "Niall has that covered..."
NIALL: (laughing, as he mock humps Zayn once) "Fact."
LOUIS: (shakes his head, grabs Harry's sweatpants, pulls lightly) "Harry..."
HARRY: (pushing himself up with struggles) "Not a dream, come to bed."
LOUIS: "Did you invite them over? Did you invite yourself over?"
HARRY: (sits up, yawns, wipes his eyes) "How do you feel?"
LOUIS: "Confused. Dazed. Dazed and confused." (Niall snorts)
HARRY: "Do you hurt?"
LOUIS: "Why are we having a five-some with ugly people again?"
LIAM: (amused) "Eat my ass, Tommo."

LOUIS: (to himself) "I hope I did none of that yesterday but I can't be sure at this point."
NIALL: (giggles) "You can't un-eat ass."
ZAYN: "That you can't."
LOUIS: "What is happening?"
HARRY: (touching his arm lightly) "You feeling okay?"
LOUIS: "Yeah, should I not be?"
HARRY: "Well, you scared the blood out of us yesterday."
LIAM: "By us he means just him."
HARRY: (snappy) "Yes, me. Apparently you only scared me. That's why they all slept over
because they weren't scared. I was the only one scared."
LOUIS: (still lost) "Did I...die?"
HARRY: (elongating the hum) "Ehh, kind of. You..." (not knowing what happened himself) "Lost
it...for a bit. I don't know what happened to tell you the truth. I came up here and you were..."
(stressed) "Not well. You were..."
ZAYN: "Delirious."
HARRY: "That..."
LOUIS: "Delirious?"
HARRY: (cringing at the memory, frown on his face) "Shaking and crying and shivering and
spacey and saying things that made no sense-hallucinating maybe?" (grabs Louis' hand in between
his) "It was horrible and I didn't know what to do so I called...well, Ed actually, I called Ed and I
guess he called Zayn who got the boys so we all ended up here. We didn't know what to do."
(squeezing Louis' hand) "I was so scared for you."
ZAYN: "He was terrified-Went full blown mother-mode. Wouldn't let go of you." (Louis looks at
Harry who avoids his eyes, blushing red) "He was cradling you and monitoring you until maybe an
hour ago, asking if you were okay every time you as much as sighed."
LOUIS: "Oh..."
LIAM: (having flipped on his back, eyes open) "We guessed bad trip. I did, actually."
LOUIS: "Ah..." (looks down, ashamed) "Well..."
LIAM: "Did you smoke?"
LOUIS: (shrugs) "Yeah..."
LIAM: "A lot? Did you drink? Alcohol, coffee? Caffeine sometimes does that to you. You get too
jittery and your nervous system goes into insane mode."
LOUIS: (becoming smaller) "Yeah..."
LIAM: "Told you. I told you all. I am right. For the first time since I met this beautiful gang-
ZAYN: "Man, you're mighty flirty today."
NIALL: (muffles his laughter) "Innit?"
LIAM: "Shut up-I am right, the right-est. I win. Bye. That is all." (turns back around, cuddles his
pillow) "I'm gonna victory sleep until twelve then get pancakes to celebrate."
HARRY: (disappointed) "Louis..."
LOUIS: (not meeting his eyes) "...I didn't think I'd end up calling you..." (angry at himself)
"Should've guessed as much with how pathetic I've gotten these days, should have known..."
(motions at the boys) "Definitely didn't think any of this would happen."
HARRY: "What did you think would happen?"
LOUIS: (sad) "I'd feel better. It'd relax me...I don't know. Wasn't really thinking at all, I suppose. I
just needed a break. I needed to stop thinking. That's the point of weed, I'd say...when you do it
right, when you don't wake up in bed with your mates."
HARRY: (bites his lip, caresses the inside of Louis' wrist with his thumb) "Don't do it again...
Please."
LOUIS: (cracks a smile) "What, you were worried about me?"
HARRY: (serious) "Yes, Louis, I was. I had a panic attack. It wasn't a good time."
LOUIS: (guilty) "Yikes." (not thinking) "Remind me not to call you for help next time I go nuts."
HARRY: (winces slightly) "Yeah..." (looks down) "That's what I learned too..."
LOUIS: "...It was a joke-"
HARRY: (interjecting, pissed) "It was not a joke. It was very dangerous and...and painful for me
to witness."
LOUIS: "Niall will teach you how to handle it next time. He sees me puke a lot. He'll show you
how to diaper me without freaking out yourself."
NIALL: (murmured, not moving from where his face is mushed against Zayn's shoulder) "Not
funny, Louis..."
ZAYN:"Very not funny. I didn't get ass because of this."
LIAM: (cheeky) "You sure about that, Zayn-train."
ZAYN: (amused, teasing) "I didn't get clean, waxed ass because of this."
LOUIS: (glad to distract himself) "Niall bleaches his pubes so you're halfway there."
NIALL: "Tomlinson!" (squishing his red face against Zayn's back) "How could you?"
ZAYN: (reaches backwards to slap Niall's side teasingly) "That so, blondie? Got a new carpet to
match the curtains or what?"
LIAM: (laughing loudly in the background) "Sounds like it hurts."
ZAYN: "Sounds like my aesthetic, really."
HARRY: (both Niall and Liam die laughing, Louis smiles at them but Harry still looks angry) "It
wasn't funny. In fact, it was quite traumatic..."
LOUIS: "Oh, come on! We're sleeping five people in a bed and I live. Can we not make this a
funeral? I didn't pack a suit for that anyway. And I'd rather watch Zayn braid Niall's pubes-He
doesn't believe in man-scaping, you should know."
NIALL: (embarrassed) "Throw yourself off a cliff, asswipe."
HARRY: (shakes his head in disappointment, crawls back to his original position on the bed)
"Yeah, okay."
LOUIS: (shoulders falling) "Harry, come on."
HARRY: "Get back to sleep. It's so early."
LOUIS: (pouts adorably but Harry doesn't even glance twice) "But I'm not sweepy..."
HARRY: "Do whatever then. Some of us slept less than two hours."
LIAM: "Word. I'm out."
NIALL: (breathed out) "Same."
LOUIS: (sitting there idly, watching as Harry closes his eyes and snuggles to his side, facing Zayn
this time) "Isn't anyone going to explain the rest of the story?"
LIAM: "Later. That's brunch talk."
ZAYN: (blinks his eyes open, touches Harry's cheek, whispered) "You okay?"
HARRY: (opens his eyes, shrugs, clearly not okay) "Whatever."
ZAYN: (mouths) "Sure?" (Harry shrugs again, Zayn smoothes the top of this hair) "We'll talk
about it later." (Harry nods, both close their eyes again, Zayn doesn't pull his hand away from
where it's gently tugging Harry's curls)
LOUIS: (glaring at the sheets as he makes his way back to the middle in between Liam and Harry)
"Bit cramped, lads..." (no one replies, Louis lays on his back, stares at the ceiling, biting his lip,
looking troubled) "Can someone at least turn on the AC or must I also bathe in your sweat for this
bonding ritual?"
LIAM: (pats blindly on the bedside table until he finds the remote, pushes at buttons until a beep
is heard) "There, quiet now."
LOUIS: (sighs his bangs out of his face, squirms a little until finally he gets the courage to turn to
his side to spoon Harry, one of his hands pushes Zayn's hand away, replaces it with his own, Zayn
opens his eyes to raise an eyebrow at him, Louis kisses Harry's shoulder in response, wraps the
arm around Harry's waist and pulls him closer, cuddling in his back, whispers) "He's mine."
ZAYN: (rolls his eyes before closing them again) "Do something about it then."
LOUIS: "I am."

Lonely
Chapter 78: Lonely
Scene 1
[Louis’ Room, Walt Disney Hotel, Orlando, 3:14pm, Fanfic Written By An AO3 Kid]
ZAYN: (entering the balcony where Louis is smoking alone) “I think you should apologize.”
LOUIS: (turns around) “Huh?”
ZAYN: (leans on the railing next to him) “Harry. I think you should apologize to him.” (lighting
his cigarette) “I think he needs to hear it or he’ll be moping for the rest of the week.”
LOUIS: (tries to lighten the mood) “Apologize for what?” (chuckles) “Almost dying on him?”
ZAYN: (not having it) “Yeah. Exactly that.”
LOUIS: “I didn’t know victims needed to do that. I thought people were grateful just to have them
be alive…” (Zayn rolls his eyes in annoyance) “Besides, I did not die, wasn’t even close. I had a
bad trip—That’s nothing. We’ve all been there.” (running his mouth) “He should know what with
the shit-ton of drugs he’s tried like—“ (catches himself, looks horrified) “I—I mean…”
ZAYN: “I know.”
LOUIS: (feels horrible) “I don’t know why I assumed that—It was a chance guess—“
ZAYN: (looks at him) “Harry has tried every drug on the market, including heroin, I know, Ed
knows, his mom knows. He’s not good at hiding these things. Everyone knows but we pretend not
to for his sake because he felt so embarrassed afterwards and it took him months to believe he’s a
good person again.” (Louis doesn’t look comforted) “Relax, I won’t tell him you almost slipped up
—“
LOUIS: “That’s still a shit thing to do on my part…“
ZAYN: (shrugs) “You’re not well…” (taps his own forehead, cigarette between his fingers) “Up
here. You haven’t been well…”
LOUIS: “Yeah…” (silence, lingering, smoking, evading) “Why do you think I should apologize?”
ZAYN: “Because Harry didn’t take it well at all. He genuinely broke down.”
LOUIS: “He really had a panic attack?”
ZAYN: “Yes, and he called Ed and when Ed called me he thought you had died with how bad
Harry sounded and I thought Harry had died with how bad Ed sounded.”
LOUIS: (still trying to joke around) “It reached New York then, wow. I’m a celebrity. Didn’t
know I was this important. My life matters to people in two states then? Hashtag winning.”
ZAYN: “It’s not funny, Louis. How many people need to tell you that?”
LOUIS: “Everything is funny if you want it to be. Better have it be funny then depressing, right?”
ZAYN: (frustrated) “It took us half an hour to detach your body from Harry’s hands long enough
to check on you and he was crying the whole time, sobbing and out of breath, and everyone just
lost their shit. Niall was crying. Liam was crying. It wasn’t fucking funny.”
LOUIS: (stunned) “But you guys were laughing today…”
ZAYN: “What were we supposed to do? We never know when to confront you about stuff. But
don’t let that fool you, yesterday was horrible. We didn’t know whether to call the ambulance—
We didn’t want you to lose your job if they found drugs in your system. But you looked so bad and
no one had any idea what was happening or if you’d make it through the night.”
LOUIS: (winces) “I’m glad you didn’t call the ambulance” (sighs) “God, that bad then. He saw
me like that? In that state?”
ZAYN: “He was worse, trust me. Had one of his longest panic attacks to date. Even Ed couldn’t
calm him down and it didn’t help that every time we touched you, you screamed for him.” (Louis
looks defenseless, caught off guard, Zayn sighs) “That’s why we stayed. We couldn’t leave him
alone.”
LOUIS: (horrified) “God.”
ZAYN: “So apologize and reassure him or he’ll…”
LOUIS: (worried) “He’ll what?”
ZAYN: (shrugs) “I don’t even know. He’ll worry every moment he’s not with you until it becomes
too overwhelming—“
LOUIS: (hurt) “Then he’ll quit.”
ZAYN: “Or he’ll just quit without all that because he thinks he’s not cut out for this.”
LOUIS: “For what? Taking care of dumb, ungrateful idiots who have no future ahead of them and
find ways to make everyone miserable, make everyone hate them?”
ZAYN: “If you’re gonna be self-deprecating, call Niall. I’m filled to the brim with Harry’s self-
loathing, I can’t do any more.” (to himself) “You know maybe he’s right, maybe you two together
are bad—“
LOUIS: (broken, whispered) “What?”
ZAYN: “Together as friends, relax.”
LOUIS: (shakes his head) “No, not that. He said that? He said we’re not good together? We’re not
good friends?”
ZAYN: “He thinks he’s not…strong enough for this, for helping you out. He thinks last night
proved that. When push comes to shove, when you really need him, he can’t do what needs to be
done.” (thoughtful, sad) “And I agree, I think… He’s still that baby Ed tucked in bed—“
LOUIS: “He’s not.”

ZAYN: “Then why was his first instinct to call Ed? Why was he having a panic attack when you
could have been dying?”
LOUIS: “I wasn’t dying! Stop saying that—Stop making him feel like shit, like he’s responsible
for this. I wasn’t going to die. Why are you putting this on him like this?”
ZAYN: “But if you were dying, he’d rather die with you then save you.”
LOUIS: (shocked, trying to recover) “This was an accident.” (desperate) “It proves nothing.”
(emotional) “I’ll apologize and I’ll make sure to never do something like this to him again. I’ll lay
off drugs—This is about me, not him. I’m the one that needs to change.”
ZAYN: (throws the cigarette out) “I don’t know if that’s the kind of change needed here, Louis.”
Scene 2
[Louis’ Room, Walt Disney Hotel, Orlando, 9:14pm, Fanfic Written By An Quizilla Kid]
HARRY: (lingering in the hallway of Louis’ room, next to the door) “I’m gonna go take a shower
now then catch up on some sleep.”
LOUIS: (looks away from his game) “Oh…Your room?”
HARRY: “Yeah.” (uncomfortable) “Need to do some dishes too… Clean up.” (rambling)
“Laundry, yeah, need to do laundry—just be a productive human being in general.”
LOUIS: “Ah…” (pauses the game, stands up to walk to Harry) “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
HARRY: “Yup.” (turns around speedily) “I’ll uh…call you when I’m about to leave for work.”
LOUIS: (struggling to say something) “Uh, sure, yeah do that.”
HARRY: “Cool.” (opens the door, turns back around) “I’ll see you later then? Good night?”
LOUIS: (purses his lips before opening them, closing them, then finally, with difficulty, very quiet)
“I’m sorry.”
HARRY: “Hmm?”
LOUIS: “I am sorry. About today. About how today went.”
HARRY: “It’s fine, I needed a lazy day—Didn’t have anything planned anyway.”
LOUIS: “No, I mean…” (pained) “You know what I mean, right?” (Harry looks lost) “I mean, the
whole…last night…ordeal. That weird-ness… I’m sorry for putting you through that.”
HARRY: “Ah… Yeah… That thing… Yeah… It’s uh, it’s okay.” (they look at each other
awkwardly) “I’ll uh…let you sleep. You must be tired.” (turns around again, touches the door
handle) “Feel better, drink lots of fluids.”
LOUIS: “You gonna be awkward again now?”
HARRY: “Hmm?”
LOUIS: “About us and stuff. You’re gonna go back to that? You feel weird?”
HARRY: (immediately) “No, no.”
LOUIS: “I feel weird, I mean, I don’t know what you saw last night…” (nervous) “What I said or
if I just…humiliated myself…” (scoffs) “Well, more than just being utterly pathetic and crying…
More than that. I don’t know how much I sucked as a person but yeah, I don’t blame you, I guess.
For being pissed this morning too. I was a twat and I just…I didn’t know…I still don’t. I don’t
know. I feel bad.” (hands in his pockets, vulnerable) “Must have been weird. Wish you hadn’t seen
that.” (embarrassed, touching his hair) “God, I feel so uncomfortable.”
HARRY: “You didn’t seem to have a problem with the boys… You were fine talking to them…
Did I do some—”
LOUIS: “I don’t really care what the boys think of me.”
HARRY: “And you care what I think of you?”
LOUIS: (sad smile) “Yeah. Quite a bit, actually.” (rubbing one of his arms, looking down) “This
is very embarrassing for me.”
HARRY: “I don’t think of you any differently. Happens to everyone, right?”
LOUIS: “Right…” (biting his lip, wary) “Has it happened to you…ever?”
HARRY: (stiffens, closes off) “…Has happened to everyone.”
LOUIS: (nods) “Right. Probably not a fun topic to talk about.”
HARRY: “Not really, no.”
LOUIS: “I guess I just wanna say I’m sorry I made this uncomfortable between us. I feel like a
dick-head.”
HARRY: “It’s not uncomfortable.” (shrugs) “We’re both just tired, that’s all. Long day.” (puts on
a superficial smile) “It’ll be back to normal tomorrow.”
LOUIS: (chewing on his lip, squirming, fidgeting with his clothes) “Right…” (blurts) “Was I
disgusting?”
HARRY: “Huh?”
LOUIS: (visibly insecure) “Yesterday, was I just—Did I puke—Was it gross? Did I puke on you, I
do that a lot but god, I’m mortified at the thought of you witnessing it and I know this sounds so
petty right now but I’m just worried and I don’t remember anything so I’m coming up with a
million different scenarios of what happened in my mind, which doesn’t help at all.” (emotional)
“You’re looking at me differently and I want to know what changed—Like are you disgusted, what
the hell did I do?”
HARRY: (softens) “Lou…” (walks towards him, cups his face to make him look up) “You were
laying on the floor, not responding to me even though you were awake. You did not puke. You did
not poop. You did not say anything embarrassing. I had a panic attack. Zayn came in, held me
together, told me you’d be okay. We put you on the bed. I hugged you, talked you to sleep and we
woke up today. That’s it.”
LOUIS: “That’s it?”
HARRY: “That’s it. Nothing else. Nothing has changed when it comes to how I look at you.”
LOUIS: “Then why…?”
HARRY: (pulls away, walks back towards the door, admits) “I just realized I wasn’t as good of a
friend as I thought…”
LOUIS: “That’s not true!”
HARRY: (shrugs) “Last night was more about me than you, I think.” (about to leave) “More
about who I am.”
LOUIS: (strangled) “Don’t go back to him!”
HARRY: “Who?”
LOUIS: “He’s not good for you. He’s not better for you—Don’t pick him over me.”
HARRY: “I’m not picking anyone, Louis. I don’t want anyone right now. I want to be me for a bit
—or have a me to be in the first place. Something that’s not tied to another person. I don’t wanna
be Ed’s baby or Zayn’s baby or your baby. I don’t wanna be anyone’s anything. Just wanna be
me.” (teary-eyed, Louis is shocked) “Because I am so tired of feeling this helpless… and used.”
(leaves, door closes shut behind him)
Love
Chapter 79: Love
Scene 1: Niall x Louis
LOUIS: (sits down on the table Niall is eating at abruptly) “Hey, I need to ask you a question.”
NIALL: (chewing on his food) “Shoot. Unless it’s ‘can I have one’ because in that case, no you
may not. My food.”
LOUIS: “That night, the bad night as Liam calls it, you remember that night?”
NIALL: “It was a week ago, of course, I do. Why bring it up?”
LOUIS: “I was wondering…And I’ve asked all the boys on this because I’m trying to get the least
bias and distorted narrative.”
NIALL: “Since you can’t remember shit.”
LOUIS: “Since I can’t remember shit, yeah. It’d help a lot if I could piece it together, like have a
general sense of what…” (trying to play it casual) “The hell I was blabbering about.” (winks at
him) “Who knows might give me some Freudian epiphany of my long-dormant, mommy issues.”
NIALL: (snorts) “I bet.”
LOUIS: “So? What did I say? Give it to me straight. Give me the story as if you were that person
next to the judge, wearing mom jeans and coding the entire conversation. You’d do well with that
job too since you love being generally useless and saying ‘I told you so’.”
NIALL: “I’m gonna choose to ignore that comment and just throw it in the bag of ‘I-can’t-believe-
you-said-that-but-I’ll-get-you-back-real-soon’, like when you told everyone I had blond publes…”
(through grit teeth) “Which was supposed to be a secret.”
LOUIS: “By the sounds of that morning, you had revealed your secret and your pubes to every boy
in that room. It was as flirty as a frat.”
NIALL: “I won’t comment on that either.”
LOUIS: (grinning) “Just tell me the damn story and I’ll get out of your face. Leave you eat your
chicken in peace.”
NIALL: “An offer I cannot refuse…” (Louis pretends to get comfortable in his seat) “Right. What
were you saying? Is that the question? What happened?” (purses his lips in thought) “Well, take
into account we came in fairly late in the progression because the call for help had to play
telephone from here to New York back to here…”
LOUIS: “Yeah, yeah. Drop the prologue. Hero enters the room, that’s you, what happened next?
What was I saying, more specifically, because we’ve already decided I was having a bad trip and
cuddling with the carpet.”
NIALL: “You were saying… I don’t know…”

LOUIS: “What? What was I saying?”
NIALL: “You were not yourself. You weren’t making sense.”
LOUIS: (insistent) “What did I say? What were the exact words?”
NIALL: (lost) “There were too many boys in the room?”
LOUIS: “Huh?”
NIALL: “You kept repeating that there were too many boys in the room and that it made you feel
uncomfortable and that you wanted it to be just you and Harry because he’s the only one you really
feel safe with…”
LOUIS: (has stopped breathing) “Anything else?”
NIALL: “You…really did not take well to Liam.”
NIALL: “He…triggered you? Uh, I don’t know…It was all very messy and wet…” (chuckles)
“Lots of us were crying for no reason… Well, I was drunk because it was Friday night and you
know how I cry when drunk—happy cry, sad cry—”
LOUIS: (interjecting) “Niall. What do you mean he triggered me? What happened?” (panicked)
“What did I say?”
NIALL: “Nothing. You just…thrashed whenever he touched you and said you hated people like
him and—I’m going to assume you meant something else, like whatever you were hallucinating
about because Liam’s a sweetheart and you and him are actually cool but—“
LOUIS: (rapid) “I meant something else.”
NIALL: “Yeah?” (not catching on to how tense Louis looks, still in hypotheticals) “I think so too.”
LOUIS: “No, I like Liam. He’s…he’s…I like him. I don’t know why I did that.”
NIALL: (raising his eyebrows, under his breath) “Something tells me you do…”
LOUIS: (hears it but ignores it) “What else? Give me everything.’
NIALL: “I don’t know… We didn’t get to talk to you much. We couldn’t touch you. You reacted
really badly if anyone did. You were scared. That was the theme of the night. You were terrified
and you were clinging on to Harry as much as he was clinging on to you.”
LOUIS: “Did I say anything about him?”
NIALL: (major discomfort) “Eh, you were not yourself…”
LOUIS: (smacks his hand on the table) “Niall!”
NIALL: “You were saying lots of things about everything, about random things, just, just how
drunk people get.”
LOUIS: “Niall, I’m begging you, get to the point.”
NIALL: “You said…” (stalls) “Uh… you…loved…him?”
LOUIS: (mortified) “Are you…shitting me?”
NIALL: “No. I’m fairly sure, I’m not. But I’m as surprised as you, trust me.”
LOUIS: “Why did no one mention this?”
NIALL: “No one meaning…Harry? That would be awkward, I’d think.”
LOUIS: (blurting without meaning to) “Did he say it back?!”
NIALL: “Louis, you were hallucinating…”
LOUIS: “I was not. Weed doesn’t make you hallucinate.”
NIALL: “Alright, but you weren’t in your right mind.”
LOUIS: “What did he do about it? What did he do with that?”
NIALL: “Nothing. He kissed you on the forehead and told you he had you. He wasn’t weird about
it. We all say dumb shit when we’re drunk and you were beyond drunk.”
LOUIS: “Right…”
NIALL: “Once I told Ashton that I’d pile him and all his friends on top of each other like Jenga
and worship them in kisses.”
LOUIS: (disturbed) “That… I don’t even wanna know.” (worried) “Do you think it freaked him
out?”
NIALL: (blinks as if Louis is stupid) “No. I don’t. And you probably do love him.” (Louis freezes)
“The same way I love you and Zayn loves Harry and Harry loves Zayn and Harry loves you and
Liam loves himself and occasionally Zayn when he’s not creepily fawning upon everything Zayn
does. We all love each other. That’s what that night was really about. How close we are. Squad
goals.”
LOUIS: (half-smiles) “You’re right. I’m being dumb. I’m being freshman-year-me again. I’m
thankful.”
NIALL: (smirking) “Less formal.”
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes) “You did me a great service. I appreciate your efforts and existence.
Brethren goals.”
NIALL: (amused) “Come on now…Come on.”
LOUIS: (groaning) “Thank.”
NIALL: “Thank what?”
LOUIS: “…you. Thank you. Thank you for being there and here.”
NIALL: “Did that hurt that much?”
LOUIS: “Yes actually, a piece of my cool-ness fell off.” (leans forward, cheeky) “But really now
show your pubes.” (whiny) “You promised!”
NIALL: “Go to hell where you belong.”
LOUIS: “I showed you mine when they were blue.”
NIALL: (closes his eyes slowly, almost burdened) “That did happen. God, I had wiped that off my
memory with bleach…”
LOUIS: “Speaking of which—“
NIALL: “Will you pay for my lunch?”
LOUIS: (screaming) “Niall shows pubes in exchange for lunch money!” (people look back)
NIALL: (unimpressed) “You done now?”
LOUIS: (grinning, pulls out his wallet) “It’s pube time.”
Scene 2: Harry x Zayn
ZAYN: (phone call) “I know what you’re trying to do. But you’re not going about it right. Pouting
isn’t what will get you there. Neither is being a bitch to me because you think I’ll give up on you
and you’ll be forced to be on your own. You wanna be an adult. Great. That’s more than fine with
me. But why are you acting like a child to be one? Adults talk. They don’t whine and push people
away.”
HARRY: (voice trembling) “You suffocate me.”
ZAYN: (taken aback) “When have I ever been there just for the sake of it, without you calling for
me?”
HARRY: “I don’t know…I don’t—that’s the problem. I always call you. You’re too dependable
and you make being dependent easy.”
ZAYN: “What do you want me to do?” (pissed now) “You know you and Ed both just push this on
me because you need someone to blame for the grapes going sour. And it’s becoming a bit
frustrating to be blamed so long for the failure of a relationship I wasn’t even part of.” (softer) “I
tried everything for you, H. Don’t make me pay for that.”
HARRY: (regretfully) “You’re right… That was the problem, I think. That night proved to me that
you’d do everything for me and I have subconsciously used that knowledge to my advantage ever
since. I’m trying not to use you. I’m trying to be a better friend. We haven’t been on equal ground
all this time and you deserve better.”
Scene 3: Harry x Louis
HARRY: (mid-conversation, Harry’s room) “I just really wish you’d stop bringing that up.”
LOUIS: “But I want to talk about it—“

HARRY: “I don’t. I just want to let it fade away in the back of my mind. It was one event. Let it
not define our relationship.”
LOUIS: “But…it is doing just that. It is making this worse for us to guess and constantly
misunderstand each other.”
HARRY: “I don’t…There’s nothing to it. I told you I didn’t let it affect how I look at you.”
LOUIS: (scoffs) “Right. You know what this sounds like, Haz. It sounds like me trying to open up
and you putting a hand over my mouth because you know what you’ll hear will upset you.”
HARRY: “…It also sounds like you opening up because you think you have to. I don’t want to
hear your opinions as excuses. It’s not fair to you. I want to hear them when it makes sense for
them to come up and when you don’t feel like telling me is some unspoken ultimatum.”
LOUIS: “I want to tell you.”
HARRY: “Why?”
LOUIS: “Because I want you to understand why that happened.”
HARRY: “I do, Lou. I really do.”
LOUIS: (forcing it out) “Do you love Zayn?”
HARRY: “What?”
LOUIS: “Answer the question.”
HARRY: “Yeah, I do. He’s one of my best friends and I love him a lot.”
LOUIS: (flustered) “I also for you like that.”
HARRY: “What?”
LOUIS: “I share those sentiments towards you, the sentiments you have for Zayn. I feel them for
you—they are felt inside my heart for our friendship.”
HARRY: “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“You are my Zayn. I have Zayn feelings for you.”
HARRY: (blinks) “You love me like Zayn loves me? Or you love me like I love Zayn? Because
those are a bit different.”
LOUIS: (quickly) “I don’t love you.”
HARRY: “But you just—“
LOUIS: “Look, I don’t love you. I just…”
HARRY: (amused, finishing his sentence) “Love you?”
LOUIS: (jumps up) “Don’t say it like that!” (flushed) “Don’t say it with the ‘L’ word because it
confuses people.”
HARRY: “What people? It’s just the two of us here.”
LOUIS: “Well, yes, It confuses the two of us. Me, it confuses me. I never say the L-word though I
L-word Niall too but I never say it. Maybe with Ashton but because he’s like my brother and
you’re like…not that…like Zayn.”
HARRY: “You know, I really don’t think Zayn is the appropriate person to mention in this
conversation.”
LOUIS: “Well, why not?”
HARRY: (purposely) “Because I’ve had his lovely, thick dick up my ass, Louis.”
LOUIS: (flinches, gulps, flustered, high-pitched) “Right. That. I knew that. I knew that Zayn thing.
Of course, I knew that. And you should know I don’t wish to have my dick up your ass—Not that
you asked or anything but I mean, I understand why Zayn would be a bad choice of—of, you
know, how did that even work out? Like how did he get an erection? Why would he get an
erection? Did you like that, does size matter? Does girth matter? Is it the same for girls and gays?
…I don’t know why I’m still talking—Really, I don’t… Would Zayn fuck Niall? Would Zayn fuck
me? Does Zayn fuck everyone? Would you fuck me?” (hyperventilating) “Just random, random
questions I ask at times to myself, for no reason, other than you know, philosophy. Does this
window open? Can we open this window? Do you think I can fit my body through this window so
I can like, not be here or alive after this?”
HARRY: (stunned) “I’d fuck you.”
LOUIS: “What?!”
HARRY: “I mean…I don’t know why that was the only thing that stood out in the paragraph.”
(gulps) “Hypothetically, I’d fuck you. In this world of…of…uh, hypotheticals, you’d be very fuck-
able. In general, I’m sure you fuck lots of people, womens, women people. I’m certain.”
LOUIS: “…I don’t know what we’re talking about.”
HARRY: “Me neither. I’m about to die from shame…” (red as a tomato) “And I have a boner.”
LOUIS: “Great.” (trying not to look at Harry’s pants, failing, going back and forth from his face
to his pants) “Wow, it’s uh real. Right there. It’s…wow.”
HARRY: (barely holding in his laughter) “Yup, I am a male with a penis. It is in my pants
because that’s where those usually are.”
LOUIS: “I can see that. Is everyone in this squad uh…bigger than me?”
HARRY: “Yes, you’re very tiny and short.”
HARRY: (through chuckles of embarrassment) “I could check? I could check for comparison, for
research purposes. You should know though, competition is stiff—Quite literally.”
LOUIS: “I think this conversation will traumatize me for eternity.”

HARRY: “Liam’s huge and Zayn’s thick and—“
LOUIS: “—And kill me now.”
HARRY: “And I have the biggest dick of the group.”
LOUIS: “Why am I not dead yet?”
HARRY: “I’m very proud of it.”
LOUIS: “Like, please, anyone, just, just shoot me. Anyone? NASA, if you’re listening to this right
now, aim a satellite over my head and just—”
HARRY: “Zayn’s says it’s beautiful.”
LOUIS: “—Laser me to the ground, please.”
HARRY: “I’m glad we had this talk.”
LOUIS: (blinks at him once, walks towards the kitchen, starts opening and closing drawers loudly,
Harry comes in, raises an eyebrow) “Oh, this? I was just looking for the bread knives to stab
myself with. Any idea where those might be?”
HARRY: (points) “Third drawer down. I’d go with a meat knife though.” (winks, still blushed)
“Sharper.”
Scene 4: Texting Thread
[LOUIS] Do me a favor and don’t reply until I tell you to, okay?
[HARRY] Okay.
[LOUIS] Here it goes.
[LOUIS] That Time I Got Drunk & Needed To Be Drive Home (x2, x3, x5)
[LOUIS] The Next Morning.
[LOUIS] Fault In Our Stars.
[LOUIS] That Time I Got Ebola.
[LOUIS] That Other Time I Got Ebola.
[LOUIS] All the Times You Made Me Hangover Breakfast.
[LOUIS] All The Times You Made Me Pick-Me-Up Vegan Cookies.
[LOUIS] That Time I Burned Down Your House.
[LOUIS] Me Freaking Out About How My Mom Sucks & Yours Is Awesome.
[LOUIS] Me Freaking Out About Watching Up.

[LOUIS] Me Freaking Out.
[LOUIS] Sandy and Josh Being Bitches (this probably needs more than one line)
[LOUIS] Starbucks Panic Attack.
[LOUIS] = times you’ve come through for me.
[LOUIS] Now your turn to list times you haven’t.
[LOUIS] Still want to wallow in self-pity? Because I have a lot more of where those came from.
[LOUIS] Ever since I met you, you’ve been nothing but a shining light for me and I’m texting this
because I can’t bear to say it to your face because I struggle to accept it because I hate how much I
need you almost as much as I love it because I feel so bad to be a burden to anyone because I suck
at acknowledging my mistakes because I think accepting them in front of you will make you see
them and you’ll leave me once you realize how much I truly suck as a person because I have a fear,
a phobia or people leaving because it has happened since the day I was born and goddammit,
Harry, I’m not losing you too.
[LOUIS] I get it, you wanna be strong. I more than get it. I want it for you. But please don’t forget
all the strength you already have. Don’t let one stupid trigger define who you are. For every
example of weakness you can give, I can give ten where you showed none of it.
[LOUIS] And because this is the longest I’ve been serious and sentimental…
[LOUIS] I’ll show you mine if you show me yours. ;)
[LOUIS] (I mean triggers but peni works too)
[LOUIS] Bye.
[LOUIS] You may speak.
[LOUIS] The cone of silence has been lifted.
[HARRY] Wow.
[HARRY] I think I just died because I’ve met an angel.
[LOUIS] …
[LOUIS] I won’t be screen-shotting that part because you ruined my perfect speech.
[LOUIS] I’ll pretend you said something smart and meaningful.
[HARRY] And I’ll pretend you’re mine forever and I’ll never have to let you go.
[HARRY] Is that acceptable?
[LOUIS] What, the cheese or the sentiment?
[HARRY] Both.
[LOUIS] Eh, I’ll live.
[HARRY] Do you L-word me?
[LOUIS] You’re pushing it, Styles.
[HARRY] Do you????
[HARRY] DO YOU????????
[HARRY] ANSWER ME!
[LOUIS] No.
[LOUIS] Psh, thirsty doe wanna get up on my glorious antlers, like pls, Bambi, I have stag-pride to
defend.
Luminary
Chapter 80: Luminary
[Some Cafe, Disney Village in Orlando, 2:29pm, Oops Needs Hi]
ASHTON: (they’ve just settled down in a table, to Harry) “It was nice finally meeting you. I’m
surprised we didn’t meet earlier, I’ve seen you around and such. Would have approached you had I
known you were the infamous Harry Styles.”
HARRY: (awkward chuckle) “I’m not that surprised. I don’t normally interact much with
humans…”
ASHTON: “Mhm. Sandy said as much. He told me the story of how you guys fell in love…”
(Harry laughs) “How you courted him with hopes of beer and female underwear?” (reaches over
towards Louis’ pack of cigarettes laying on the table, pulls one out) “He said you need to warm up
to people before you show your filth—” (Louis slaps his hand on top of the pack and pulls it away
from Ashton before he can grab it, both Harry and Ashton jump slightly in their seats, confused, to
Louis) “Chill a bit, yeah? The hell’s up with you?”
HARRY: (glances at Louis warily before extending Ashton his pack) “…Yeah, took a while with
Sandy and the boys.” (notices the silence stretches, hurries to fill it up) “Do you surf? You look
like you surf. You look Australian. Aren’t you Australian? You are, right? Like Luke? You like
Luke? You like surfing?”
ASHTON: (raises an eyebrow, hand paused next to Harry’s pack) “I surf once in a while, yes, and
like Luke on rare occasions.” (pulls out a cigarette) “Thanks.” (motioning towards Louis) “What’s
up with thundercloud over here? He’s on his man-period again?”
LOUIS: (unamused) “When did you start smoking?”
ASHTON: “When did you start caring?” (puts the cigarette between his lips) “You said it
yourself, everyone who works for Disney starts eventually…”
LOUIS: (reaches over, rips it from his lips before he can light it) “No.”
ASHTON: (startled) “You need to take it easy, man.”
HARRY: (under his breath) “Lou, calm down.” (gingerly, to Ashton) “Want…another?”
ASHTON: “Nah, Louis has decided to be controlling today.”
LOUIS: “Because I don’t let you kill yourself?”
ASHTON: “Because you’re hypocritical.”
HARRY: “Guys?”
LOUIS: “I’m addicted. I have no choice. You do.”
ASHTON: “Do I? Because you seemed pretty keen on making it for me.”
HARRY: “Guys.”
LOUIS: “I will make it for you if you don’t know how to choose right yourself.”
ASHTON: “Thank you, father. Any more tips on how to be a little bitch? You seem to be good at
it.”
LOUIS: “Not bad yourself, Ashton. You’re learning.”
ASHTON: (sarcastic) “From the best.”
LOUIS: “Damn right.”
HARRY: “Guys…”
LOUIS / ASHTON: (both) “What?!”
HARRY: “…I was going to say, let’s talk about something else. Like the weather. How ‘bout this
weather, eh?”
LOUIS: (taps his fingers restlessly on the table) “Yeah, this weather. It’s getting hot. Very hot.”
ASHTON: “June. What’d you expect? Honeymooners will be here soon. Favorite time of the year.
Lots of good tips. Finally gonna get myself a surfboard—Did you say you surf?”
HARRY: “Yeah. I’m okay…”
LOUIS: “You suck.”
ASHTON: “Yo, can you let people live?”
LOUIS: “Are you gonna get defensive over everything now?”
ASHTON: “Says the guy freaking out over a cigarette.”
LOUIS: “We already had this conversation.”
HARRY: (above their voices) “So, the weather!”
LOUIS: “Speaking of which, aren’t you dying in that?” (referring to Ashton’s long-sleeved,
baseball tee)
ASHTON: (sharp) “I’m fine.”
HARRY: (notices, tries to distract them) “When I went surfing…”
LOUIS: “Long-sleeves in ninety degree weather?”
ASHTON: (giving him a meaningful look) “Fine, I said.”
HARRY: (to himself since the boys are too busy arguing with each other) “Does this always go
this…un-smoothly?”
LOUIS: (easing up a bit, lowering his guard) “Ash, I have to talk to you about something…”
ASHTON: “Huh?” (Harry absentmindedly touches one of Ashton’s forearms on top the shirt,
Ashton yanks it back immediately) “Uh… what are you doing?”
HARRY: (looks down, guilty) “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Did I hurt you?”
ASHTON: (slowly, dread) “What is he talking about, Louis?”
LOUIS: (looks at the table too) “Did he?”
ASHTON: (through his teeth) “Did he what exactly?”
LOUIS: “Hurt you?”
ASHTON: (catching on) “Louis…”
LOUIS: “I told him…”
ASHTON: (pulling his arms to himself, under the table) “Told him what?” (fidgeting with his long
sleeves, grasping the end in each fist) “Told him what?”
LOUIS: (braces himself) “I told him that you…” (voice shaking, Harry’s hand lands on his knee
underneath the table) “That you self-harm…”
ASHTON: (stunned) “I don’t like this conversation…”
LOUIS: “I was supposed to tell you—I talked to Simon and, and he mentioned—I was supposed to
tell you three weeks ago and I’m running out of time…I don’t know anymore how to do this,
when…I pushed it so long—“
ASHTON: (trying to keep his voice low) “Simon? What?” (jokingly) “What is this, some sort of
intervention?”
LOUIS: (half-shrugs) “Not quite…”
ASHTON: (smile drops, getting louder) “In a public cafe? With this stranger I just met—“ (to
Harry) “No offense.” (to Louis) “You…” (trying to grasp it) “What are you doing? This isn’t what
we do—This isn’t how we talk about this—You’re supposed to warn me—Not set me up like
this.”
LOUIS: (wringing his hands) “I didn’t mean for it to seem like I’m trapping you. That’s not what I
wanted at all. I was going to come over several times but I felt as if…” (takes a deep breath) “As if
we would both lose it if it went that way—I wouldn’t be able to speak…” (pleading) “I just got
overwhelmed and he’s my best friend and I needed someone so I told him. I’m sorr—“
ASHTON: (smacking the table, Harry startles) “It wasn’t your secret to tell! You outed me when
I trusted you.”
LOUIS: (blurting) “Wasn’t exactly much of a secret anyway…”
ASHTON: (threatening) “What?”
HARRY: (gulping) “Louis, maybe we should take this somewhere else.”
ASHTON: “What is this about, Louis? Other than humiliating me like I’m some piece of
garbage…”
LOUIS: “I didn’t mean…“ (drops it, opens his mouth, closes it, bites his lip in frustration,
struggling visibly) “I didn’t want—I just…I need to talk to you.”
ASHTON: (pointing at Harry) “Why is he here then? Why are we out here?” (voice cracking)
“Why did you tell me you wanted me to meet your friend? You lied.”
HARRY: “Louis, let’s move.” (stands up, uncomfortable) “Let’s pay.”
LOUIS: (grabs his shirt) “No, sit down. I’m not about to drag this another episode. I cannot live
with this in the back of my mind anymore. I haven’t slept in days.” (Harry sits, Louis forces his
voice to be stoic, straight-forward) “Ash, this is an intervention. Simon wants me to do this and I
sort of have to. For your own good.”
ASHTON: (in disbelief, shakes his head) “You know what, fuck you… I’m not doing this. Not
here. Not like this. Not with you.” (starts to move out) “Not with you.”
LOUIS: (stern, through his teeth) “Sit down.”
ASHTON: “Like hell—“
LOUIS: (loud) “Ashton, sit your ass down, I swear to god. I’m not playing with you.”
HARRY: (people are looking over) “Louis…” (worried) “Let’s go back, please. I don’t feel good
about this.”
LOUIS: (to Harry) “No. Hush.” (to Ashton) “You’re gonna hear this. I went through hell for you
to hear this so respect that.”
ASHTON: “I’ll start respecting that when you start respecting me.”
HARRY: (squirming in his seat) “You’re not doing this right.” (quiet) “We have an audience. This
isn’t a play. We need to leave.”
ASHTON: “Listen to him!”
LOUIS: (losing it in frustration, exploding) “He’s going to fire you if you don’t stop cutting!”
(people are definitely looking now, Ashton looks mortified)
HARRY: (eyes wide, scrambling out of his seat clumsily) “I’m going to pay.”
ASHTON: (shocked) “Why are you doing this to me…”
LOUIS: (palms his face then his mouth, hands shaking, emotional) “Sit down. Sit down. That
came out wrong—I need to fix this—Sit down…Ash, please.” (Ashton is shaking his head,
backing away, Louis confesses) “Sit because I can’t stand you looking like you’re about to leave.
It’s making it so difficult for me to think and say the right thing—I’m hurting you, please, sit.”
ASHTON: “I am about to leave.…I’m not gonna sit here and have you talk down to me like I’m
some broken child—I look up to you too much to survive that.”
LOUIS: (hands on his face, panicked) “I want to help. I’m not…This wasn’t supposed to be like
this—I’m on your side, I swear. I understand—“ (quiet, under his breath) “I understand better than
anyone…You know that…“
ASHTON: “Then why are you doing this?”
HARRY: (rushing back, out of breath) “We’re good. We can go. Let’s just get home, please.”
ASHTON: (looks at Harry, then Louis, then the floor, bites his lip, speaks, tone cold) “How
would you feel if I told people you cut?”
LOUIS: (frozen in shock) “Ash…”
HARRY: (flips towards Louis in surprise, notices how devastated Louis looks, pleading softly)
“Ashton, please stop—“
ASHTON: (teary-eyed) “He cuts and has scars all over his thighs, spelling horrible things.”
HARRY: (brokenly) “Don’t do this to him.”
ASHTON: “It’s the truth. That’s why he won’t fuck naked…”
HARRY: (shaking in fury, screaming) “Stop it!”
ASHTON: (ignores him, looks at Louis meaningfully) “A secret for a secret.” (walks away with all
his stuff, sniffling, Louis doesn’t move an inch, looks like he’s about to crumble on the spot)
HARRY: (hand in his hair, pushing his curls back angrily, under his breath) “Shit.” (shakes his
head, sits himself slowly, rattled but trying to push it aside, gentle) “Lou…” (no response, Louis
seems detached from reality, Harry hesitates) “Hey, it’s okay…” (reaches out to touch his hand,
Louis flinches, gets up loudly, hurries to walk out of the cafe, looking down, eyes wide in shock
still) “Lou, please.” (follows him, holding both their bags) “Let’s go home…Let’s go home and
forget about this—” (Louis starts running, Harry sprints behind him) “Louis!”
LOUIS: (rounds the building, back against the wall, sinks to the ground, hands on his eyes,
panting, shattered) “Leave me alone…”
HARRY: (stops in front of him, crouches down, also breathing heavily) “Stop, wait—“
LOUIS: (screaming, in tears) “Leave me the fuck alone! Get out of my face—“
HARRY: (tries to grab at his arms) “Listen to me—“ (Louis pushes him away to become a tight
ball, sobbing) “Louis, please, just—“ (touches his hair, Louis slaps his hand away) “Lou—“
LOUIS: “Get away from me. Leave me alone—“ (hyperventilating, sobs pouring out) “Please,
leave me, please…” (face on his knees, crying, cursing under his breath in between sobs) “Please,
leave and never come back—Never—I don’t want anyone to ever come near me again—I don’t
wanna trust anyone again—I wanna be alone.”
HARRY: (begging) “Louis…Please, stop fighting me—I want to be here—“
LOUIS: (thrashes around, pushes against him, screams, desperate, angry, out of control) “I don’t
want you here! I don’t want you here now. You know—You know and I hate you! I hate him—I
hate everyone that knows. I can’t have you here anymore. He ruined it—I can’t—“
HARRY: “Hey, hey—“ (tries to pull him close, Louis fights) “Darling…” (emotional himself) “It’s
okay, I promise—I promise…” (suddenly starts pulling his arms out of his t-shirt, pulls it over his
own head, grabs the fabric, pulls Louis under it as well, hugging him close, both their heads inside
the t-shirt, Harry topless) “Don’t push me away. I’m here. I wanna be here—I wanna hug you and
make this okay again. Let me help, please.”
LOUIS: (pushing against him) “What are you doing—Harry—“
HARRY: (forehead against Louis, cupping his face) “Shh. You’re alone, look. Other universe.
Just you and me…look? No one else can see this and no one else can see you. Outside me can’t see
you. Nothing.” (cradles him with his other hand, holding Louis close) “You’re safe. I have you.”
LOUIS: (stunned for a few seconds) “Haz…”
HARRY: (smiles at him) “Hey there…” (caresses his cheek) “Hi…”
LOUIS: (hugs him tightly, whimpers) “He told you…I can’t believe he told you.”
HARRY: (wrapping both arms around Louis’ waist) “Not in this universe…I don’t know anything
in this universe…I don’t know what you’re talking about…” (caresses his back) “What you’re
hurting about…” (kisses his temple) “What you’re crying about… Why this amazing boy is
suffering when he deserves nothing but happiness…” (hugs hims so tight, Louis gasps) “And
warmth and safety and love and world.” (quiet, tearing up himself) “You deserve the world,
darling.” (to himself mostly) “And you’ll have it. I promise you, you’ll have it.”
LOUIS: (clings to Harry’s shirt, face in Harry’s neck, breaks down completely) “I don’t anymore
—I don’t—I haven’t anymore. I don’t…”
HARRY: “It’s okay.”
LOUIS: “I used to but I don’t. I haven’t in years. I’m clean—I’m not like that anymore. I’m not
broken—I’ve fixed myself. That’s something I’d never—never think of doing again.”
HARRY: (kisses his cheek, his temple, his hair, repeating) “I believe you. It’s okay. I believe
you.”
LOUIS: “I was going to tell you—“
HARRY: “It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change anything.”
LOUIS: “I wanted to tell you…”
HARRY: “Doesn’t matter.”
LOUIS: (desperate) “I’m sorry.”
HARRY: “For what?” (pulling away to look at him) “For something you did in the past? For the
scars? We all have those, Lou. It doesn’t change who you are to me, understand?” (holding his
cheeks) “It doesn’t change how beautiful you are, inside and out—How much you do for your
friends and how much you mean to them—How much you mean to me, you beautiful, beautiful
boy.”
LOUIS: (speechless, emotional, more silent tears appearing on his eyes) “Harry…”
HARRY: “This is a minor smudge at the edge of a gigantic masterpiece.” (wipes his tears with his
thumb) “A blip that’s not worth the tears you’re shedding right now, not worth the hurt. I know it
hurts. I can see it in your eyes and I know it kills that he did that and you want to scream and never
speak to him again—I know.”
LOUIS: (broken) “Second time they do this—People I trust, my friends—Second time, it’s not
fair.” (whimpers at the memory) “That was… vindictive—cruel!” (single sob) “I’d never do that to
someone.”
HARRY: “I know. It was bitter and ugly and immature. But you love him.” (Louis blinks in
surprise) “You care for him and deep down, you understand. Deep down, you’re hoping that he
has someone right now, doing this with him—that he’s not crying alone.”
LOUIS: “Yes…”
HARRY: (smiles lovingly) “You’re amazing, do you know that?”
LOUIS: (snorts in between tears) “Right. Amazing at screwing things up.”
HARRY: (fond) “Is that a smile, I see… The sun is shining again?”
LOUIS: (faint smile as he looks down) “Alright, mozzarella stick. This is already beyond
ridiculous—” (wet snort) “I have a shirt on my head…”
HARRY: (amused) “I…improvised?”
LOUIS: (chuckles, smiles) “Your heart is out of control right now.”
HARRY: (looks down at Louis’ hand, still on his chest, airy laughter) “I bet. I bet it’s ready to
give up.”
LOUIS: (quiet, ambiguous, biting his lip as he looks up, faces inches apart) “Don’t give up.”
HARRY: (breathless) “Hmm…?”
LOUIS: (eyes half-lidded, wets his lips, gulps) “Just…don’t, okay?” (whispered against Harry’s
lips) “Keep fighting…”
HARRY: (whispered back) “Okay.”
LOUIS: (pulls away to burry his face into Harry’s neck again, hugging him) “Promise me.”
HARRY: “I promise.”
Always
Chapter 81: Always (In My Heart)
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 1:35am, Yours Sincerly]
LOUIS: (in bed, sitting against the headboard, looking at his phone, suddenly sighs, puts it aside)
“Harry?”
HARRY: (opening his eyes) “Lemme guess, you want strawberry ice-cream?”
LOUIS: “Huh?”
HARRY: “That’s what you usually mumble at night.”
LOUIS: “I mumble at night?”
HARRY: “All the time. Sometimes you have full conversations with me. It’s adorable. Sleepy you
is always hungry. And your favorite food is chicken, stuffed with mozzarella cheese wrapped
with Parma ham with some homemade mashed potatoes.”
LOUIS: “Why am I not surprised?” (Harry chuckles) “But no, I was gonna say something else.
Something…a bit more important.”
HARRY: (eyes fully open now) “Important and bad?”
LOUIS: “Important and hard.”
HARRY: “Important and dick hard?”
LOUIS: (cracks a smile) “Important and under-your-t-shirt-in-public hard.”
HARRY: “Ah…” (sits himself up as well, more serious) “What do you wanna tell me? Are you
pregnant?”
LOUIS: “I thought you knew that already.”
HARRY: (smiles bigger) “What is it, love?”
LOUIS: “Well, it’s not much that I wanna tell you more that…that…”
HARRY: “That…”
LOUIS: “Give me your hand.”
HARRY: “Like the song?”
LOUIS: “What song?”
HARRY: (singing along) “She said I love this song, I’ve heard it before and it stole my heart, I
know every word. She’s gonna…” (pauses, motions with his eyebrows for Louis to finish) “Ey?”
LOUIS: (deadpanned) “As endearing as that is, no. I mean actually give me your hand.”
HARRY: “Like metaphorically.”
LOUIS: “Jesus, Haz.” (grabs Harry’s hand) “Like this. This is a hand.”
HARRY: “Ah. Okay?”
LOUIS: (nervous) “And I wanted you to… I was thinking ever since, it’s been on my mind, this
whole thing.” (Harry is obviously confused on the lack of nouns) “I was wondering how far I could
push myself, how much I could, and I wanted you to know, you know?”
HARRY: (shakes his head furiously) “I’m slow, remember?”
LOUIS: (sighs, guides Harry’s hand so it’s settled on one of Louis’ knees, Harry gulps) “Slide
up.”
HARRY: “E—excuse me?”
LOUIS: “Slide your hand up.”
HARRY: “I don’t think I should…”
LOUIS: (with difficulty, through his teeth practically) “Slide your hand all the way to my thigh…”
HARRY: (flustered) “I’m not going to. I don’t know what this is but I’m not going to do it.”
LOUIS: (lays a palm on top of Harry’s hand before it pulls away, small) “I want you to get a sense
of how bad they are.”
HARRY: “They…”
LOUIS: (losing his patience) “The scars, Harry. I want you to touch the scars—What were you
thinking, I’m filming amateur, hand-job porn?”
HARRY: (in realization) “Oh! Oh, the scar—Oh!” (relief) “Oh, thank god, I thought you’d gone
“Gone Girl”.”
LOUIS: (amused) “I have. If I’m trusting you like this I have.”
HARRY: “You don’t have to—“
LOUIS: “I want…” (gulps) “I want to share this with you. I’ve decided that I…” (frustrated with
his lack of explanation) “The only thing I regret about that encounter is not being able to tell you
myself. And by doing this, I will feel like I have that option again. I am deciding to…” (pained)
“Share…my pain with you because I…” (shaking, fearful, insecure) “I would like…I would like if
you…Shit, this is hard.” (Harry caresses Louis’ knee in comfort) “…I would like your help. If you
want to help me. If you can spare the time.” (whispered) “I don’t wanna do this on my own
anymore…”
HARRY: (smiles, nods, slowly moves his hand up Louis’ knee, to his thigh until he reaches the
end of Louis’ boxers) “Are you a hundred percent sure about this?”
LOUIS: “If you like me after this, I’ll know it’s the real deal.”
HARRY: “If that’s all you need, I can assure you right now that I will. You don’t have to show
me. I will like you no matter what’s under here. You have my word. You don’t need to do this.”
LOUIS: (holds Harry’s hand down again) “Do it.”
HARRY: (serious) “I’m not moving this hand without your permission. And I’m sure as hell not
going anywhere you don’t guide me to.”
LOUIS: (clutches Harry’s hand, looks into his eyes) “You’re about to see the ugliest part of
me…” (slowly pushes his hand further up, until Harry’s fingers are on top of the scars in his inner
thigh, Louis’ voice is weak) “Don’t judge me too harshly for it.”
HARRY: (gently running his fingers up and down the scars, both holding their breath, whispered)
“Here?”
LOUIS: (biting his lip, removing his own hand, frozen) “Y—yeah.”
HARRY: (nods silently, thumb against the raised skin, eyes down, hand never moving anywhere
past where Louis’ placed it, traces all the scars slowly, goes back to the ones that are more recent,
then the ones that seem purposeful in their placement, finally) “This is so difficult…”
LOUIS: “I know, it’s disgusting. It’s gross.” (tries to pull his hand away) “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t
have… This was a bad idea.”
HARRY: (keeps touching the scars almost affectionately) “It’s not that…” (whispered) “It’s not
that at all.”
LOUIS: “Then what?”
HARRY: “I want…I want to do more than touch them.”
LOUIS: “I can’t show you. You’d be so repulsed. I can’t look at them myself.” (pained) “I shower
with a bathing suit. I never want to see that part of me again. I can’t show you.”
HARRY: “Not that either.”
LOUIS: (cocks his head sideways, lost) “Then…?”
HARRY: (sighs, bites his lip) “I wanna kiss them…” (Louis’ breath hitches) “I wanna kiss every
scar telling you you’re not perfect.” (half-hugging Louis to himself, nosing Louis’ neck, kissing it,
voice filled with longing) “I wanna kiss you all over.” (hand pulls out of the boxers, runs up Louis’
waist) “Every inch of skin I can reach…”
LOUIS: (an edge of panic to his voice though he’s cocking his head to allow Harry more space)
“Don’t say that. Don’t say that.”
HARRY: (runs his lips down Louis’ neck, whispered) “I do…”
LOUIS: (fingers scrunch Harry’s shirt) “Don’t make it like that.” (finally pushes him back so
Harry detaches from his neck) “Please.”
HARRY: (deflated, sad) “I’m sorry.” (looks away, touches his own lips) “I’m the one that’s
disgusting. You’re trusting me like this and I can’t seem to keep my feelings out of the picture.”
LOUIS: (frowning) “Please, don’t say things like that. Don’t say you have feelings…”
LOUIS: “For what?”
HARRY: “I do have—”
LOUIS: (interrupting him mostly so he doesn’t have to hear it) “For what?”
HARRY: (understands, changes his answer) “I shouldn’t have…” (shaking his head) “I got
carried away. Sometimes I forget that we’re not…”
LOUIS: “We’re not what?!”
HARRY: (flustered) “We’re not…like that. We don’t say that. We don’t say those things.”
LOUIS: “What things?” (Harry opens his mouth, can’t seem to form words, Louis gives him a
warning glance) “Harry…”
HARRY: “I sometimes get confused a bit.”
LOUIS: “You’re scaring me now, bro…”
HARRY: (snappy) “Don’t ‘bro’ me, Louis. It’s not gonna erase any of this and it sure as hell is not
gonna eliminate the fact that my lips have touched your neck.”
LOUIS: (distancing) “Tread lightly, soldier.”
HARRY: (confessing, frustrated) “I sometimes want to hug you really tight and…well, and…I just
get confused that’s all. You’re so attractive and I can’t help sometimes wishing I could…”
(awkward) “Have…” (flustered) “That.”
LOUIS: “My body?” (Harry’s shakes his head, Louis looks alarmed) “Have me physically. Just
that.” (forcefully) “Right?”
HARRY: (almost silent, mouthing it) “No…”
LOUIS: (harsher, squeezing Harry’s hand until Harry winces) “Right?!”
HARRY: (lies) “Yeah.”
LOUIS: “Just my body? You’re just a boy who likes boys and so you like my body because I’m a
pretty boy.”
HARRY: (shoulders sinking, obviously lying) “Something like that yeah…”
LOUIS: “Say it.”
HARRY: (emptily) “I’m a boy who likes boys and I like you for your body because you’re a pretty
boy.”
LOUIS: “Mean it.”

HARRY: (brokenly) “I do…”
LOUIS: “That’s all there is.”
HARRY: (choked) “Yeah.”
LOUIS: (insistent, pleading) “Tell me that’s it.” (grabs onto Harry’s forearms) “Convince me.”
HARRY: (can’t bear to look at him) “That’s it. I just like your body. That’s it.”
LOUIS: “You’re not convincing me…”
HARRY: (gulps) “It’s not like me to objectify people—“
LOUIS: “But I need you to make sure that all of that… That confusion you feel, I need you to
make sure it’s just sexual frustration. I need you to make sure it can disappear once you…”
(pained) “Have someone else.”
HARRY: (sob he quickly disguises as cough, voice so cracked he can barely finish the sentence)
“Of course…yes, that’s…yes. Yes…it will. Once I…”
LOUIS: (carefully touches Harry’s cheek to force him to look up) “Haz…”
HARRY: (places his hand on top of Louis’) “I’m trying, Lou. I’m trying to make it go away.”
(looks at him, teary-eyed) “For you. I’m trying my hardest.”
LOUIS: (bites his lip, stiff) “Wait there…”
HARRY: “Hmm?”
LOUIS: (reaches behind him blindly, takes a shaky breath) “This way you’ll get it…”
HARRY: “You don’t have to. I understand… You don’t have to expose yourself for the sake of
convincing me. I’m being extremely dumb right now but I understand.”
LOUIS: “I have to…” (flicks the light on, closes his eyes shut as he pulls one side of his boxers up
to reveal the scars on his thigh, deep and jagged, spelling out ‘FAG’)
HARRY: (gasps, looks away as soon as he catches sight of the word) “Don’t, please.”
LOUIS: (voice oddly clear and distant) “This is the worst of them… The deepest one, the one that
will never go away…” (fingers trailing the outline but eyes still close) “To conserve space I
couldn’t write everything. There were lots of things.”
HARRY: (hands on his face, pathetically quiet) “Who’d do this to someone?”
LOUIS: (voice shaking) “I retraced this every time I heard it. No exception. Every time no matter
how raw the old scar was.”
HARRY: “I’m sorry…” (scrambles towards the trash-can in the room, throws up, then sobs,
hanging on the edges of the bin) “I’m sorry for making you do this…”
LOUIS: (turns the light back off, hugs his legs to himself, completely vulnerable) “Now you
know.” (Harry bursts into tears on the floor, Louis looks at him sadly) “It’s disgusting, I know…
But it was all I had. All I knew.”
HARRY: (looks at him, eyes wet) “The only thing disgusting about it is the fact that it stands
between our lips. That someone else made that decision for you, carved it on your skin.” (angry)
“That someone out there lives, smiles, probably loves someone—someone who doesn’t know what
this—this fucker has done to you—what he deserves for his mistakes. Everything that’s disgusting
about this has nothing to do with you but the person who has yet to apologize for your pain.”
LOUIS: “Even if he apologizes, I will never forgive myself. I put razor to flesh. I had blood on my
hands. I shamed my body.”
HARRY: (standing up to pace, frustrated) “You’re punishing yourself for doing the best that you
could—”
LOUIS: (loud) “I’m punishing myself for feeling like I need to open that wound again every time
your hands get me hard!”
HARRY: (shock then immediate understanding) “Closest you could get to the problem… That’s
why they’re on your thighs… No other reason.” (Louis nods, a few tears slipping down his face,
Harry chokes on the sob, palms his face, breaks down) “How can I ignore this tomorrow?”
LOUIS: “You’re gonna have to.”
HARRY: “How can I pretend I don’t know this? How can I pretend I won’t think about this when
I’m touching you—I won’t think of you crying, hurting, because I dared… How can I pet your
hair, tickle your tummy, hold you at night, knowing I might hurt you like this, knowing you might
wake up in the middle of the night, slip away from my embrace and—” (can’t finish the sentence,
sobbing some more) “Tell me how that’s possible.”
LOUIS: (stands up, walks towards him, wraps his arms around Harry’s body) “Trust me.” (Harry
still doesn’t hug him back) “Trust me when I say I’m strong enough to stop myself now. Trust me
when I say I won’t do it again.” (looks at him meaningfully) “If you trust me, you won’t stop giving
me those touches. You won’t treat me like I’m damaged.”
HARRY: (slowly wraps his arms around Louis, squeezes him, hands trail up Louis’ arms) “For all
it’s worth…” (squeezes Louis’ shoulders once) “While we’re in the dark…” (up Louis’ neck)
“While we’re alone…” (cups Louis’ face) “I’m catching feelings for you whether I want to or not,
whether you want me to or not.” (Louis is stunned) “Now we both have to pretend we don’t know
something.” (pulls him into a hug, one hand slips under Louis’ t-shirt to rest against Louis’ naked,
lower back, nuzzles Louis’ neck) “We both have to pretend we have no idea why it’s sometimes so
hard to ignore that I’m dying to kiss your lips.”
LOUIS: (playing with the curls at the nape of Harry’s neck) “If the lights were on, I’d have
punched you for that.”
HARRY: (chuckles) “But they aren’t, are they? So you’re gonna have to deal.”
LOUIS: (sighs) “Harry, it will never happen. You know that. You’ll die waiting for it to.”
HARRY: “Let me be the judge of that. Let me decide how I want to die.”
LOUIS: (snorts sadly) “You should have done it when you had the chance, when I was too drunk
to understand.”
HARRY: (frowns) “You think I’d rape you for a kiss?”
LOUIS: (sad) “It wouldn’t surprise me.”
HARRY: (pulls away enough to look at Louis) “You know what will?” (touches Louis’ lips with
his thumb) “When I won’t have to.”
LOUIS: “Did you try this hard with Zayn?”
HARRY: “Zayn is straight.”
LOUIS: “So am I, Haz. Deep inside…” (touches the middle of Harry’s chest) “You know that.”
HARRY: “Don’t be so sure.”
LOUIS: (fingers splayed over Harry’s chest) “If you give me your heart, you’ll find it broken.
That, we’re both sure of.”
HARRY: (palm on top of Louis’, pushing Louis’ hand close enough to feel Harry’s heartbeat)
“I’ll risk it.”
LOUIS: (pulls away, walks towards the light switch, Harry follows silently) “Let’s see you
pretend…” (flips it on, turns around)
HARRY: (pushes him into the wall, cupping his face) “Let’s see you push me away.” (Louis
gasps, Harry doesn’t make a move to kiss him, smiles down at him) “You want me close. I want to
be close. And to be quite honest, that’s how it has always been. Nothing has changed.”
LOUIS: (smile that turns cheeky) “I’d still punch you if you tried.”
HARRY: (chuckles, pushes himself off the wall to walk towards the balcony) “Oh, I don’t doubt
that, baby hedgehog.” (shakes his cigarette pack at Louis who’s still breathless against the wall)
“Smoke?”
LOUIS: (sideways smirk, turns the lights off again, walks towards him) “You’re gonna kill me one
of these days.” (slithers his hand inside Harry’s) “And I’m not talking about getting cancer.”
Alas
Chapter 82: Alas
Scene 1: Ashton x Niall
ASHTON: (small, embarrassed) “I’m sorry you had to do this.”
NIALL: (carefully wrapping a bandage around one of Ashton’s forearms) “I should be the one
saying that, Ash.”
ASHTON: (short snort) “Right…I guess…I suppose…” (spaced out, looking away) “I’d have
liked for you to not know. You and Harry both…and everyone, really. I wished it was something I
had kept to myself.”
NIALL: “And Louis? You would have wanted him not to know as well?”
ASHTON: (smiles to himself briefly) “He found out himself a while ago…” (looking at Niall)
“You know what he said? You know what he did? When he found out, I mean, when I had
this...this talk with him. You know what he said? He grabbed my hand, looked at the scars then
looked me straight in the eye and called me an attention-whore.”
NIALL: (stunned) “Ash, I’m sure he—“
ASHTON: “And he was right. He changed his mind but I don’t know why because he was right
all along. I am an attention-whore. Why else would I cut on my arms? Why else would I make it so
easy to find? If I was really ashamed, if I was really hurting, I’d have kept it hidden, like he does. I
want people to find out, at least on some level. I want and don't want. God, he was right…”
NIALL: “Ash, you don't cut for attention. You cut because you're in pain. And that in itself, your
pain, has to be respected. You can’t compare one’s pain to another. You can’t rank them either or
decide that someone isn’t allowed to feel it and express it. Just because he has suffered doesn’t
mean you have no right to, no matter how small the problem is. He has no right to judge you--”
ASHTON: (louder) “He has a right to judge me. He has every right because he has been here--he
has had these cuts, this blood! And I, people like me, give people like him a bad name.”
NIALL: (frowning) “There are no people like him and no people like you. There is no label to this
group because there is no group.” (determined) “He used to make mistakes. He grew out of it. You
made a mistake today. You’ll grow out of it. That’s it, a mistake. It does not define you as a
person, nor does it establish the prototype for others to follow.”
ASHTON: “I did make a mistake…” (cradling his legs) “I wish I hadn’t told anyone about him…
Now that I think about it, I’d be fine with you and Harry knowing if I still had Louis. I feel
hopeless without him. I feel desperate. Desperate enough to do this?” (yanks his arms away from
Niall, holds it to himself, small) “Is he doing okay?”
NIALL: “He’s fine, worried about you, but fine. He still sleeps at Harry’s so I assume you did
nothing to endanger that.”
ASHTON: (to himself) “When I was really bad, at the beginning, when I just started here, they
said I had to play Peter Pan and I couldn’t because my arms were a mess and I couldn't show the
kids. I couldn't have them see and poke around. I begged them to give me another thing, with long
sleeves and such. I felt like such a failure because I knew I wasn’t going to get the job and it was
all my fault for doing that to myself—and mom would be disappointed to have me home, where
she doesn’t want me.”
NIALL: (softly) “Ashton…”
ASHTON: (teary-eyed) “When I left Simon’s room, I burst into tears like a baby, and Louis was
passing by and he thought—“ (chuckling wetly) “He thought I was a child, like a kid at Disney, and
he asked if I was lost and if I needed help, and I told him I didn’t wanna be Peter Pan and cried
some more on his shirt and he bought me an ice cream and stayed with me the entire day even
though he had no idea what was going on or who I was or why I didn't wanna be Peter Pan.”
(blurted) “I’m fucked up.”
NIALL: “Everyone is to some extent.”
ASHTON: “Yeah, but I’m really fucked up.” (sad) “Like really…”
NIALL: (chuckles) “Louis once said the exact same thing to me, years ago, did you know that?”
Scene 2: Luke x Louis
LUKE: (having spotted Louis, running after him) “You!”
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes, turns around to walk away) “Not now.”
LUKE: “Not no—Not now?!” (speed walking after him to fall in step) “You’ve been ignoring my
calls. Ashton’s been ignoring my calls. Mikey decided to die his hair pink and I’m about to kill one
of you.” (grabs Louis’ shirt to stop him from walking away) “You seem the most convenient at the
moment.”
LOUIS: (sighs) “I have to go meet Simon and something tells me he’s gonna kill me first when it
comes to this topic.”
LUKE: “Damn right, he will. Ashton skipped a week of work without any notice. Does he live?”
LOUIS: (grabs Luke’s shoulders, shakes him, dead serious) “Don’t say that.” (lets go when he
sees how startled Luke seems) “Don’t say things like that…”
LUKE: “Jeez.” (rubbing his arm where Louis touched him) “Lately, you’ve been—“
LOUIS: “Insane? Yes, I feel it too.”
LUKE: “Wired. You’ve been stressed. Are you on the wrong dose of anxiety meds again?
Because maybe you should get that checked.”
LOUIS: “I can’t get anxiety meds without an appointment—And don’t! Don’t suggest an
appointment. Not now. Not ever.”
LUKE: “What happened with Ashton?”

LOUIS: (starts walking away again) “Nothing. Do me a favor and check up on him tonight.”
LUKE: “Has he been answering your calls?”
LOUIS: “No. But he’s slept over Niall’s so I know he’s okay.”
LUKE: (makes a face) “Niall’s? Why the hell is he sleeping at Niall’s?”
LOUIS: “He likes Niall. Always has.”
LUKE: (jealousy seeping in) “Like likes Niall?”
LOUIS: (snappy) “I don’t know Luke. Why don’t you ask him? I don’t have time for your
jealousy right now.”
LUKE: (put off) “Funny how I always have time for yours. You know, man, ever since Harry’s
come in the picture you’ve been a bit of a dick. I get it, domestic life sucks, the sex is bad, but
throw us a bone at times, huh? We care about you—“
LOUIS: (visibly regretful, hurt) “And I care about you.” (sighs, genuine) “I care about you a shit
ton, Luke. You and Ash are my weak spots, everyone knows that. I care about you more than I
care about myself.” (guilty) “You’re right. I should be around more often.”
LUKE: (touched) “Why are you sad? What happened? Why didn’t you tell me something
happened?”
LOUIS: “I really messed up with Ash last week. And it’s affecting how I interact with everyone
because I feel like the shit friend that I am.”
LUKE: “Did he hurt himself again?”
LOUIS: “Not more than I hurt him. I hurt him a lot. The same way I’m hurting you right now…”
(vulnerable) “But it’s only because I’m on my way to fix the Ashton thing and as I’m trying to
rebuild some relationships, others fall apart. It’s driving me to my limit. I just want to do the right
thing for once so that the people around me are happy.”
LUKE: (knowing) “Ashton is gonna get fired, isn’t he? That’s why you’re seeing Simon. That’s
why you’re so tense. Cal guessed as much. I should have guessed. I should have been there for
you.”
LOUIS: “Be there for him. I’m fine.”
LUKE: “You’re struggling more. He saw it coming. He knew.”
LOUIS: (sad smile) “I’m fine. Promise me you’ll take care of him though until this all fixes itself.
You and Mikey and Cal will be there to keep him happy.”
LUKE: “Who’s gonna keep you happy?”
LOUIS: (ruffles Luke’s hair) “The thought of my boys being okay.” (starts walking away, Luke
stays behind, Louis turns around one last time) “You know you can come to me anytime. Doesn’t
matter how ‘wired’ I am…You can always come to me. You know that, right?”
LUKE: (nods, purses his lips) “When are you gonna be happy though?”
LOUIS: “I already told you, dipshit—“
LUKE: “I mean really happy, Lou. We want you happy. It’s about you too, not just us.”
LOUIS: “I’m not a happy person but that’s okay, because I’m fine as long as someone I care about
is.” (Luke sulks) “Make sure Ashton knows how much I care for him.”
LUKE: “I doubt he has forgotten.”
LOUIS: “Remind him.”
Scene 3: Five Sauce x Stupidity
LUKE: (as soon as Ashton picks up the phone) “I don’t care what he fucking did to you. You’re
going to open this door and me, Cal and Mikey are gonna cuddle you to sleep or so help me god,
we’re kicking it open.”
MIKEY: (in the background) “We come prepared. Cal has been going to the gym lately so he’ll
punch the door open.”
ASHTON: (snorts) “You could also ask the lobby for a key but kay, shoulder it down.”
CALUM: “What’s the bad-friend saying?”
LUKE: “Lobby for a key.”
MIKEY: “Oooh!”
CALUM: “Why didn’t I think of that?”
ASHTON: “Because you’re the dumb-friend.”
MIKEY: “I vote Calum still tests his strength. Go Cal. Head first, please.”
CALUM: “I’m dumb but not that dumb. I’d have to go shoulder first.”
ASHTON: “He’s so dumb…”
LUKE: “Yeah…”
CALUM: “Hey!”
LUKE: “We’re coming in. Prepare to surrender your anus to this Harry Potter marathon we have
planned.”
ASHTON: “You have pop-corn?”
LUKE: “Yes.”
ASHTON: “And cuddles?”
LUKE: “Yes.”
ASHTON: (wary) “And you won’t mention my sweater?”
LUKE: “Are you gonna mention mine?”
ASHTON: “Why would I?”
LUKE: “Exactly. Stop asking dumb questions. You’re not Cal. We only have room for one dumb-
friend.” (teasing) “You’re the bad-friend. Act it.”
Scene 4: Louis x Ashton
LOUIS: (picking up his phone) “Hello?”
ASHTON: (quiet, nervous) “Hey, you around?”
LOUIS: “My room, yeah. You alright?”
ASHTON: (sad, distant) “I…”
LOUIS: “You okay, Ash?”
ASHTON: (voice shaking) “I’m going home…today. I’m flying home today and I—I can’t leave
without saying bye. I need to make things right with you.”
LOUIS: (nods to himself, obviously emotional, holding it together) “How long?”
ASHTON: “Hmm?”
LOUIS: “How long will you be gone for?”
ASHTON: “Couple of months…Simon says he’ll…” (coughs) “He’ll take me back if I get my
stuff sorted out and I thought, well, I thought being home would help…”
LOUIS: (trying his hardest to sound sympathetic) “I get it. I’m glad. I’m happy for you.”
ASHTON: (small) “Lou, I did you wrong. Big time…I screwed up.”
LOUIS: “…I’ll drive you to the airport.”
ASHTON: “I’m sorry, bro.”
LOUIS: “Make it up to me.”
ASHTON: “How?”
LOUIS: “Get better, come back and buy me a drink. Then we’re even.”
ASHTON: “Why aren’t you…”
LOUIS: “Mad? Because you’re my baby brother and I was supposed to protect you. I didn’t. If
there’s anyone who screwed up, it was me. And I’m sorry.”
ASHTON: “I shouldn’t have—“

LOUIS: “Enough. It’s done. When’s your flight? We’ll get a beer on the way to celebrate you
moving to a country where you’re legal again.”
ASHTON: (crying now, trying to hide it) “Will you Skype me? Don’t forget about me—I’ll be
back, I swear. I’ll be back as soon as I can. I don’t want you to think I’m giving up on this. I wanna
fight. I wanna be like you. I wanna be strong.”
LOUIS: “You are strong.”
ASHTON: “If I had listened then I wouldn’t be leaving…I don’t wanna leave.”
LOUIS: “It’ll be fun. Vacation. Home-cooked meals and kangaroo burgers.”
ASHTON: “Will you call me?”
LOUIS: (wiping the tears from his own eyes, trying to be strong) “You think I can forget about
you when Luke gives soliloquies about your ass every other day? I’ll call you every week and I
expect progress pictures.” (Ashton is still crying) “Well, this is the most I’ve heard people cry over
vacation on a beach.” (Ashton chuckles) “You know it needs to be done so chin up and get it over
with. Make me proud.”
Scene 5: Harry x Zayn
HARRY: (Zayn’s room, laying in bed, Zayn below him, Harry on his chest) “So you’re not mad?”
ZAYN: (pulling at Harry’s curls) “Not at all. You know I hate these things.” (pushing Harry’s
hair back) “Your hair’s growing long, Rapunzel.”
HARRY: (cheeky smile) “That’s what it does.”
ZAYN: “Are you gonna cut it before the wedding?”
HARRY: “Nah, not even gonna bother with a proper tux. I think I hate these things too now.”
(Zayn raises an eyebrow) “Nothing like a broken engagement to make you hate other people’s
happiness…”
ZAYN: “He’s gonna be there, isn’t he?”
HARRY: (nods, purses his lips) “Yup.”
ZAYN: “With Taylor?”
HARRY: “They broke up. He didn’t tell you?”
ZAYN: “He told you? You’re what, bff-s now?” (to himself) “Of course he told you.”
HARRY: “It’s not like that.”
ZAYN: “Like what? Like he wants you back? Like you want him back?”
HARRY: “Yeah, not like both of those. We’re just friends now.”
ZAYN: “Then why are you worried?”
HARRY: “Not him I’m worried about…” (pokes at Zayn’s cheek) “Are you gonna cut your hair?”
ZAYN: “Maybe I’ll chop it all off.” (Harry looks horrified, Zayn chuckles) “Is your wife mad
you’re here tonight?”
HARRY: “First of all, I’m the wife. It’s decided. Second of all, no. It was his idea. He said we’ve
been ignoring our other friends—That we spend a bit too much time together. He’s with Sandy, I
think. They’re drinking and stuff. He needs the space—We. We need the space.”
ZAYN: (careful) “So…you agree?”
HARRY: “I didn’t at first but now, I do. I want to. I don’t want this to become an Ed situation
where I live to be around him. I want to have a life of my own outside…” (rubs his cheek on Zayn’s
t-shirt) “And I want to cuddle you.” (whispered) “I had missed your cuddles.”
ZAYN: (laughs briefly) “Have you told him about the wedding coming up?” (Harry shrugs, cheek
still against the shirt, fingers picking at it) “Why not? What are you afraid of?”
HARRY: (mumbled) “That I have to mention how every one of my relatives will think he’s my
boyfriend and I’ll have to say no and then—“
ZAYN: “—Your heart will break a little with each denial.”
HARRY: (looks up in surprise, rapid-fire) “I don’t like him that.”
ZAYN: (sarcasm) “Right. You tickle me.”
HARRY: “I don’t. I like him as a best friend. I like him like I like you. I Zayn him—“
ZAYN: “You what now?”
HARRY: “Zayn him? Lou came up with it. It translates to platonic, bro love that other bro-pals
can misunderstand because other bro-pals are too scared they’ll turn gay if they do this stuff.”
ZAYN: (amused) “What stuff?”
HARRY: (crawls up, grin on his phase, rubs his nose against Zayn’s) “That stuff. The fluffy
stuff.”
ZAYN: (mock serious) “Am I a gay now?”
HARRY: (laughs, kisses his cheek) “I wish.”
ZAYN: “You wish everyone were gay.”
HARRY: “Nah-uh.”
ZAYN: “You once told me, in detail might I add, where you’d kiss Liam if he gave you the
chance.”
HARRY: (through his teeth) “I was drunk!”

ZAYN: (repeating Harry’s words) “I’d kiss his pink lips and rub my face against that manly scruff
of his—“ (Harry smacks him to shut him up) “And then move to that cute—“ (Harry hits him with
a pillow) “Ouch—“ (laughter, another hit) “Cute mole and the one underneath his—“ (another hit)
“His neck—ow. His neck and—“
HARRY: (blushed completely) “That was at the beginning when I was—“
ZAYN: “Horny as hell?”
HARRY: (face flaming) “Yes! And drunk. So drunk and so horny and so—“
ZAYN: “So desperate for Liam to be gay?”
HARRY: “Oh, you son of a…” (grumbles the rest under his breath as he wrestles a laughing Zayn
on the bed, straddling him, yanking on his shirt) “Have you told anyone?”
ZAYN: (in between laughter and struggle) “Only Liam.”
HARRY: “Zay!”
ZAYN: “He thought it was funny. He considered it—“
HARRY: (multiple, light slaps on Zayn’s nose) “You told Liam—You really told Liam. How dare
you. How could you.”
ZAYN: (laughing, rolls him on the side so Harry’s laying down next to him) “He thought it
endearing.” (Harry groans dramatically) “What? I told him the PG-13 parts, not the I’d ride that
hug, fat—“
HARRY: (covers Zayn’s mouth with his palm) “Can you not?”
ZAYN: (mumbled) “—Until my thighs hurt from bouncing up and down.” (Harry pinches Zayn’s
lips closed, severely incoherent) “And hearing him groan my name, oh!“
HARRY: (palms his own face in embarrassment) “I hate you.”
ZAYN: “I thought you Zayn-ed me?”
HARRY: (peeking through his fingers) “I do.”
ZAYN: (drags away Harry’s hands, rubs one of Harry’s knuckles between his fingers, confessing)
“Sometimes I wish I just loved you.”
HARRY: “Love loved me?”
ZAYN: “Yeah. Completely.”
HARRY: “Like with Perrie?”
ZAYN: “Yeah. Straight up, simple loved you.” (laying on the bed, face in Harry’s shoulder) “It’d
be easier than watching men break your heart.”
HARRY: (caressing Zayn’s hair) “But it wouldn’t have been the same. If we were together, we’d
have driven each other mad. We wouldn’t have lasted fifteen years that’s for sure.”
ZAYN: “Truth.” (rolls his eyes, knowing) “And you love double-dipping.”
HARRY: “Ha! I love having someone by my side that won’t go away when the sex is bad and
jealousy is ruining every nice part of a relationship. I love knowing you’ll be there for me through
everything. I love that more than I loved our sex.”
ZAYN: “Mood: offended.”
HARRY: (laughing) “It was aight.”
ZAYN: “You mean tight.”
HARRY: “Oh, I bet it was that for you, certainly.”
ZAYN: (fond) “Pervert.”
HARRY: (sighs, thoughtful) “I think that’s how he feels.”
ZAYN: “Louis?”
HARRY: “Yeah. He wants me to be his Zayn, the best friend that’s always there. That listens to
him. That holds him when he cries. That he can cuddle with but never kiss. That he can go to no
matter how late it is. He wants to be my number one…”
ZAYN: “I’m fine with being number two—“
HARRY: “It’s not that. He wants to be my best friend and my number one. At this rate, my future
boyfriend is going to see the amount of baggage I have and flee for the hills.”
ZAYN: “People have best friends.”
HARRY: “I already have a best friend. You. You’re my best friend. You’re the only best friend I
want because with you, I understand. I get it.”
ZAYN: “There was a time when you didn’t.”
HARRY: “There was never a time when I didn’t. Even when I knew I was completely gone for
you, I knew it was useless. It was impossible. I loved you enough to understand I wasn’t going to
make you happy but with him—I don’t know that because I want to make him happy. I can make
him happy. I know that. I know I can treat him right and give him everything he needs. I know I
can wake up every day with the sole purpose of putting a smile on his face. I know and I want to
do that. I want him so bad and I have a shot.”
ZAYN: “Harry…”
HARRY: (emotional yet confident) “I have a shot. I know I have a shot. I know.”
ZAYN: (biting his lip, nods once) “What do you want to do about it?”
HARRY: “Huh?”
ZAYN: “I believe you and I’m asking you what you want to do about it. How you want to play
this. I’ll help you out. I’ll play wingman. I’ll set it up. I’ll do whatever you need me to do.”
HARRY: (tearing up, pulling Zayn into a hug) “Like you did with Ed?”
ZAYN: (hugging him back) “Preferably without the complete, soul-shattering break-up.” (they
hold each other silently for a few minutes) “I hope you know what you’re doing, H. I hope you’re
ready to fight because this time I won’t be able to get this done myself.”
HARRY: “I am ready.”
Away
Chapter 83: Away
Scene 1: Car
LIAM: (driving Harry’s car to the airport, Louis and Harry in the back) “Yeah, yeah, you two go
on a honeymoon while the rest of us work summer opening. Now I know life’s unfair.”
HARRY: “You went on vacation last month.”
LIAM: (facing him) “To Scooter’s Inferno! That wasn’t vacation.”
HARRY: “Road, please. Are you sure you’ll be fine with the car?”
LIAM: (turning back around) “A hundred percent. I’ll take good care of it.”
LOUIS: “Dibs on picking the car once Liam crashes this.”
LIAM: (rolling his eyes) “I won’t. Unlike you I know how to use blenders.”
HARRY: “Is Disney Land this bad?”
LOUIS: “Yes.”
LIAM: “Yes. It’s what nightmares are made of, having to work in California’s drought while
Justin and the others are circle-jerking.”
HARRY: “What’s circle-jerking?”
LOUIS: (laughing) “You don’t wanna know.”
LIAM: “You don’t. Don’t know how you keep getting out of transfer work, Louis.”
LOUIS: “Simon loves me enough not to send me to the devil.” (afterthought) “Plus, last time I
punched Tommy so there was that.”
LIAM: “He loves you enough to give you two weeks off too apparently. All that ball-licking
worked wonders.”
HARRY: (constantly lost) “Ball-licking?”
LOUIS: “Special occasion. Harry’s sister is getting married and I’m the designated make-sure-
Harry-returns party.”
LIAM: “Is that needed?”
HARRY: “Nope, because I didn’t want to go in the first place and will undoubtably be more than
ready to come back.”
LIAM: “Why not? Weddings are the best. Alcohol, food and bridesmaids—or in your case,
groomsmen.”
HARRY: “And my ex-boyfriend.”
LIAM: “And that. That’s always good. No sex like ex sex. They know exactly how to hit all your
soft spots. With a knife. A blunt, rusty knife.” (Harry laughs) “I would know. I broke up with
Sophia, by the way. Did I tell you guys?”
HARRY: “Yeah, two weeks ago.”
LIAM: “No, no, that was the previous break-up. I broke up with her, then we got back together,
now I’ve broken up with her again. You’re a break-up late to my pity-party.”
HARRY: “Yikes.”
LOUIS: “Liam’s foreplay is emotional abuse where Sophia mentions his muffin top and he cries
manly tears in the bath-tub pretending he’s constipated.”
LIAM: (laughing) “Almost as painful as it is true.”
LOUIS: “Then they have sex and wake up in a relationship. The nightmare never ends. Like
literally, dating someone like Sophia is everyone’s nightmare and for Liam, it never ends.”
LIAM: (laughing louder) “Never. Ends.”
HARRY: “You’ll take her back then?”
LIAM: “Probably.”
LOUIS: “Probably? Absolutely. This is Liam we are talking about. His thirst for relationships is
only surpassed by camel-thirst herself and even Eleanor wouldn’t bend over the kitchen counter
and beg to be whipped—Trust me, I’ve asked.” (Harry elbows him in the ribs, Louis laughs)
HARRY: “Why will you take her back?”
LIAM: (shrugs) “Took me a long time to get her in the first place. I’ve invested a lot in this
relationship. Wouldn’t you take your ex back if you had the chance?”
HARRY: (in his thoughts, almost surprising himself) “No…I don’t think I would actually. I think
it’s time for new things. I think you should try new things as well.”
LIAM: “I probably should. How do you get there though? How do you grow to not care?”
HARRY: “You realize that there are people out there who’d make you much happier than her…”
LOUIS: (correcting him) “Than she…would.”
HARRY: (to himself) “Or him.”
LOUIS: “He.” (bites his lip, to Liam) “I vote take her back. Ex-sex, right?” (looks out of the
window) “That’s all that matters in the end.”
LIAM: (looks at Harry through the mirror, smiles encouragingly, then ahead at the road)
“Maybe. I guess, Harry will solve that dilemma once and for all this weekend.” (glancing at Harry)
“Come back and tell me if it’s worth pursuing.”
Scene 2: Plane
HARRY: (having just sat down in the middle between an old lady and Louis, mumbled around the
hairband in between his lips) “I predict my butt will go numb during this.” (preparing his bun) “I’ll
probably freeze too.”
LOUIS: (leaning over the seat, half on Harry’s lap, one hand on Harry’s thigh) “They have
Shrek!” (touching the screen in front of Harry’s seat while Harry’s hands are still working on his
hair) “All four of them, oh boy, I know what I’ll be doing. Overdosing. Shrek is love, Shrek is
life.”
HARRY: (finishes the bun, leans back, shifts to accommodate Louis better, runs his fingers idly up
and down Louis’ back) “You want your hair up too?”
LOUIS: (not looking away from the screen) “Mhmm.”
HARRY: (maneuvering to comb his fingers through Louis’ hair) “I thought you said you’d cut it.”
(Louis accidentally bumps his head into Harry’s face, reaching for the blanket underneath the
seat, Harry holds him from falling when the plane jerks into movement) “Got it?” (kisses Louis’
temple gently, lips brushing against it) “Are you good?” (Louis nods, settles against him, half on
his lap, legs on his own seat, Harry goes back to doing his hair)
LOUIS: (looks up, visibly happy, pouting, hugging the blanket) “I’m cold.”
HARRY: (pouts back) “Aw, kitten.”
OLD WOMAN: (coughs from beside them, looking troubled) “Excuse me, but will this kind of
behavior be going on throughout this entire flight?”
LOUIS: (looks at her) “What kind of behavior?” (old woman looks pointedly at their position,
Louis looks down as well to note how he’s leaning on Harry’s chest, Harry’s arms around him)
“Ah.” (blushes, flustered automatically) “No, sorry.” (pulls away quickly, his hair falls out of
Harry’s hands in front of his eyes again) “We’re not…like that.” (straightens in his seat stiffly)
“Sorry.”
HARRY: (swallowing his response) “Right.” (sharper, under his breath) “Forgive me, ma’am, if
my existence triggered your homophobia.”
LOUIS: (in warning) “Harry, drop it.”
HARRY: (sneers but holds back) “Right.” (staring blankly at the screen, awkwardly extends Louis
the hairband) “Wanna do this on your own?”
LOUIS: (takes the hairband from Harry, distant) “Yes, thank you.”
HARRY: (equally distant) “You’re welcome.”
OLD WOMAN: (motions for one of the flight-attendants, once she arrives, talks to her loud
enough for the boys to hear) “Excuse me, but would you happen to have another empty seat? These
two gentlemen are making me feel uncomfortable.”
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: (frowns lightly, looks at the two boys) “What seems to be the matter?”
HARRY: (pissed) “I offered to do my friend’s hair. I was not aware that was deemed publicly
inappropriate.”
LOUIS: (embarrassed from the stares they’re getting, trying to hide his face behind his arms as he
swiftly tugs his hair up) “Harry, drop it, please. It’s fine.”
OLD WOMAN: “They were on top of each other, doing all sorts of—“
HARRY: (appalled) “I was just hugging him, making sure he was comfortable—“
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: (trying to mediate, sympathetic) “Sir, don’t raise your voice, please.”
(looks at the lady) “We’ll move you to the front, ma’am, if you’d follow me.”
HARRY: (beyond himself) “What?!”
OLD WOMAN: (moves out) “Thank you for understanding.” (starts walking down the aisle
without looking at the boys again, the flight-attendant mouths ’sorry’ to Harry before takes the
woman’s stuff out of the overhead bin and following for)
HARRY: (seething) “The nerve…”
LOUIS: (grabs at Harry’s arm, desperate) “Stop it, goddamn it. Stop. She’s right. Let’s just,
pretend it never happened, forget about it.”
HARRY: “She is not right.”
LOUIS: (quickly, quietly, trying to contain him, unaware he’s doing a piss poor job) “She is. We
shouldn’t. We’re in public…We should act right. Sometimes we do that stuff and it makes people
uncomfortable. I’d be uncomfortable too.” (Harry frowns) “Just let them solve it, okay? It’s done.
She’s gone. It’s over. Stop saying stuff. Don’t speak anymore. People are looking. Please.”
HARRY: (disappointed) “I have a right to defend myself—“
LOUIS: (frustrated) “No, you don’t.”
HARRY: (angry) “Yes, I do. How is it okay for someone to take away my freedom for something
that affects none of theirs? How is it okay to be treated like this? I did nothing wrong.”
LOUIS: “Doing stuff like that is wrong.” (winces, tries to recover) “For other people, the other
people think it’s wrong.”
HARRY: (unbuckles himself, moves to the woman’s emptied seat, leaving a seat between them)
“Better now? Less uncomfortable or should I ask the flight-attended for a new seat too?”
LOUIS: (sad) “Harry…” (pleading) “Come on. We’re on vacation. Don’t be like this.”
HARRY: “Like what, Louis? Like kinda insulted at the discrimination in the world.”
LOUIS: “You’re exaggerating. Nothing happened. What does it matter that she moved? We have
more space. What does any of this matter? It didn’t change anything.”
HARRY: “You’re not in my arms anymore. It changed that.”
LOUIS: “Here. But later, in your room, I will be. I still don’t mind.”
HARRY: (scoffs) “Right, obviously.”
LOUIS: “When it’s the two of us, I don’t mind.”
HARRY: (chuckling without humor, sarcastic) “But not when others can see in case god forbid,
they think you’re gay.”
LOUIS: (snappy back) “Yes. God forbid I defend myself against being called something I’m not.”
HARRY: “Why would you need to defend yourself against something that’s not an insult?”
LOUIS: (stunned) “Because…because…I’m…not.”
HARRY: (shakes his head, puts his headphones on) “But I am, Louis, and I’d hope someone
would understand why I need to defend myself, why I expect my best friends to defend me.”
Scene 3: Plane Revised
LOUIS: (wakes up, groans as he stretches, looks around the plane, lights are out, everyone’s
sleeping, looks at Harry who’s watching a movie, headphones on, body and arms snuggled under
his blanket) “Haz?” (bites his lip when Harry doesn’t even acknowledge him, sighs, inches closer
so he’s sitting in the seat between them) “Haz?” (touches Harry’s arm on top of the blanket, voice
small) “Hazza?”
HARRY: (looks at him, takes off one side of his headphones) “Yeah?”
LOUIS: (gulps, looks down) “Can I sleep on your lap?” (admits) “I can’t sleep well knowing we’re
fighting.”
HARRY: (smiles) “Come, sleepy head.” (pulls the blanket off his lap, Louis lays his head on
Harry’s lap, body stretched on the other two seats) “Wait, maybe it’s better if I lay the cover under
you before you lay down so I don’t get cold.”
LOUIS: (cuddles in Harry’s lap, smile on his face, eyes closed) “Put it on top. “
HARRY: “Uh, like on top of your head? Won’t you suffocate?”
LOUIS: “It’ll be warm and dark.”
HARRY: (wary) “People will think—“
LOUIS: “I don’t care.”
HARRY: (smiles to himself) “Okay.” (fixes Louis’ blanket to better cover him, tucks him in, lays
his own blanket on his body, on top of Louis’ head on his lap) “Comfortable?” (Louis hums, Harry
starts caressing his hair since his hands are under the blanket) “Good night, darling.”
LOUIS: (mumbled sleepily) “Should have done this hours ago.”
Scene 4: Home
HARRY: (entering the house, Louis hidden behind his back, screams) “Mommy, I have returned.”
ANNE: (rushes out in the hallway, smiling big) “Oh, my favorite son is here!” (stops, looks at
Harry, mock serious) “Move aside, Harry. You’re standing in front of my favorite son.” (Harry
steps aside, Louis looks down nervously, Anne smiles) “Ah, yes, my favorite son.” (hugs him
warmly) “How are you, Louis? How was the plane-ride? You must be exhausted.”
LOUIS: (shy) “I’m okay. Wasn’t too bad.”
HARRY: (beside them, amused) “Favorite son? What am I, chopped liver?”
ANNE: (ignoring him, points to Louis’ backpack) “You need help with that, honey?”
LOUIS: (smiles) “I have it, I think, thank you.”
HARRY: (standing there, holding his backpack and both Louis’ and his own suitcases) “I need
help if I am allowed to exist.”
ANNE: (turns to him, motherly tone) “What am I, your servant?”
HARRY: (rolls his eyes) “It’s like I never left.”

A Team
Chapter 84: A Team
Scene 1: Arrival Night, 10:49pm
HARRY: (steps out of the bathroom attached to his room, completely naked, notices Louis sitting
on his bed, squeaks, covers his groin) “What are you doing here? I thought you were sleeping in
the guest’s room.”
LOUIS: “Nope.” (turns around, double-takes, runs his eyes up Harry’s body) “Oh.”
HARRY: (flustered) “Yeah, oh. I wasn’t expecting guests—Thought they’d all be in the guest’s
room, like they were supposed to.”
LOUIS: “I’ll go back later.” (looks back at the journal in his hands so Harry can move) “Relax,
it’s not like I’ve never seen dick before.”
HARRY: (inching towards the closet) “You…have?”
LOUIS: “I mean…” (shrugs) “I was in a team once…” (winces, realizing what he has said, bites
his lip) “Uh, you decent yet?”
HARRY: “Not yet, sorry.” (sliding on a pair of boxers, oblivious) “You played soccer, right?”
(Louis makes a tiny noise of confirmation, fidgeting with his pages of the journal) “What position?
Were you any good?”
LOUIS: (another shrug, uncomfortable) “Yeah.”
HARRY: “What positio—“
LOUIS: (stopping him) “You done yet?” (recovering) “Getting dressed, I mean.”
HARRY: “Yup.” (sits on the bed next to him in a t-shirt and boxers) “I know you love it because
Fifa is your life so why’d you qui—“
LOUIS: (cutting him off) “What’s this?”
HARRY: “Hmm?”
LOUIS: (shows him the journal) “What’s this?”
HARRY: (looks down to see what he’s holding, smiles) “Oh, that’s a memory journal. Ed made it
for me. Well, kinda. He uh, wanna listen to music?”
LOUIS: “Are these tickets to concerts you went to together?”
HARRY: (looking through his backpack to pull out his iPod, places it on the iPod stand) “Yeah.”
(turns around) “What do you wanna listen to? Classic rock? Hits? 90-s? The Real Slim Shady?”
LOUIS: (small) “Can you explain this to me first?”

HARRY: (shrugs) “It’s dumb. It was just something we did, that’s all. A dumb thing, you’d think
it dumb.”
LOUIS: (careful) “If you don’t wanna talk about it because it’s sad, that’s okay.”
HARRY: (frowns) “No, I just thought… I don’t wanna make you feel uncomfortable, that’s all.”
LOUIS: “I’m not uncomfortable.”
HARRY: “Okay…” (sits down again) “Every month we were together, we’d pick a souvenir from
our favorite memory and give it to one another.” (touches the journal) “Then it’d go here.” (Louis
is awed, Harry continues, pointing at different things) “Movie premiere, music festival, zoo, vegan
pancakes for the first time, London, London again. Helped us remember the best in bad times.”
LOUIS: (flips to the next page, points) “And this?”
HARRY: “Hypnotist magician person show or something. It was in L.A.” (Louis slides his finger
to another thing, Harry hesitates) “Uh, a bar he used to sing in. That was for my birthday. He
brought me on stage and—and you know how that goes.” (closes the journal, Louis’ fingers still in
between the pages) “You get the gist. I couldn’t throw it out after we…well, you know.”
LOUIS: (caressing the pages of the journal) “You shouldn’t. It’s the cheesiest thing I’ve heard but
it’s sweet. I like it.”
HARRY: “Lots of things in here I should have thrown out.” (looks around the room, pictures of
his friends and Ed stuck to the walls) “I haven’t been home since I ended things so I didn’t have
time to go crazy girlfriend with a flamethrower on the junk.”
LOUIS: “It’s not junk.”
HARRY: (rolls his eyes, lightly) “It’s dated.” (stands up again) “Now what do you wanna jam to
because I’m feeling Britney marathon.”
LOUIS: (serious) “It’s not junk. They’re memories. I wish I had these many good memories. I
wish I had a place to go to where I’d be surrounded with them, where everywhere I looked
reminded me that I’m loved and wanted.” (emotional, hugging the journal without noticing) “It’s
not junk.”
HARRY: (stunned, lost) “Yeah, I…guess…”
LOUIS: “Let’s listen to Ed.”
HARRY: “What?”
LOUIS: (trying to make it sound casual) “You said he made you a CD, right?”
HARRY: “I…never did but I suppose someone told you.”
LOUIS: (sharp wince, evades) “Do you still have it?”
HARRY: “Yeah, but isn’t that…weird?”
LOUIS: (looks down) “I could listen to it some other time on my own if this is too awkward…”
(sighs, admits) “I just…I like being here and I like knowing about your last relationship, the stuff
you wanna share about. I like listening to those stories.”
HARRY: (genuine) “Why?”
LOUIS: (pointedly not looking at him) “Because they make me happy.”
HARRY: (trying to understand) “Why?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “They just do. I know it’s weird and creepy and not normal but I never knew a
gay couple before and you and him used to be happy and it makes me happy to know that. I like
seeing that you can be happy…and…gay. It’s a good feeling. It makes me feel relieved. I don’t
know what I’m saying, it’s weird, I’m sorry. Let’s listen to music—Britney, you said?”
HARRY: (turns around, scrolls down the music on his iPod) “He’s gotten better now. He was a
little shaky in the beginning.” (places the iPod on the stand, heads back to the bed) “And he’s very
cheesy, I warn you”
LOUIS: (smiles as Ed starts playing in the background, inches up so he’s sitting next to the bed-
frame) “I know, I stalk him a little.” (Harry settles next to him, slouching, Louis smirks) “‘Don’t’ is
good, isn’t it?”
HARRY: “Funny you’d say that…” (catches Louis’ grin, smacks him) “Oh, go to hell.”
LOUIS: (shaking his head, smiling) “It’s crazy how that’s about you. It’s like…knowing a muse.”
HARRY: (deadpanned) “Crazy.”
LOUIS: (interested) “That’s cool though, I find it cool. It really is a good song. I like it a lot. It’s
in my work-out playlist. I think I’ll tell him that when I meet him but in a more casual way, of
course. I’ll be like, good stuff, I have some notes if you want to hear them—I do have some notes.”
(rambling excitedly) “I think we could collab on something. I have some lyrics he could see and
we could, I don’t know, I mean, what do you think?”
HARRY: “Are you seriously geeking out over my ex-boyfriend?”
LOUIS: “He’s good—“ (‘Little Bird’ starts playing) “Oh! This song’s good too…” (hums the
lyrics under his breath in time with the chorus) “And ‘Grade 8’, different in style—more upbeat. I
love his happy songs—“ (catches sight of Harry’s face) “Okay, so I stalk him a lot but in my
defense, I stalk him as a singer, not as your ex. He’s a good singer.”
HARRY: (teasing) “Right… Anything else you wanna confess while we’re on this topic?”
LOUIS: “I might or might not have a shirt with his face on it.”
HARRY: (sits up) “Louis!”
LOUIS: “Okay, I stalk him completely. He has the life I want. He has stolen my life and he’s my
man crush monday every monday, and tuesdays sometimes, and I made that shirt myself.” (sighs
exaggeratedly) “Phew, finally have that off my chest. It was eating my soul for months and I
wanted to wear the t-shirt with my black skinny jeans once and you were there so that ruined my
entire night’s wardrobe and mood.”
HARRY: (between laughing and shock) “Louis!”

LOUIS: “What, is it my fault all his existing merch is dumb? Also, since we’re on this topic,
should I ask him to sign it or is that too fan-like—Should I play it more cool, pretend I’m not
impressed?“
HARRY: “Are you serious right now?”
LOUIS: “So…no?”
HARRY: “Louis!” (laughing) “When did this all happen? Why wasn’t I part of it? Since when is
this a thing?”
LOUIS: “Can’t believe you didn’t catch on. Why do you think I stopped letting you use my phone
for music? So you couldn’t see I listened to ‘Drunk’ seventy-two times on repeat.”
HARRY: (palming his face) “I’m living with a fangirl.”
LOUIS: “I’ll fangirl for Eddy all day, err day.”
HARRY: (strangled) “Eddy…Eddy!”
LOUIS: “Are we still confessing…”
HARRY: “Apparently…”
LOUIS: “Okay, because I had a final one…”
HARRY: “Of course you did.”
LOUIS: “I had Zayn go into your laptop and make me a mixtape so I already own this CD.”
HARRY: (loudly) “What is my life?”
LOUIS: “Signed.”
HARRY: “Signed?”
LOUIS: “The CD is signed. I’m done now. The end.”
HARRY: (raises an eyebrow) “How did you get it signed?”
LOUIS: “Zayn sent it to Ed and said it was for a friend, which is true because Zayn and I are
friends now.”
HARRY: “What else is real? The Illuminati? Larry?”
LOUIS: “Do you hate me?”
HARRY: “I don’t love you…”
LOUIS: (grins) “You Zayn me?”
HARRY: (cheeky) “I could consider doing that if you…” (pulls on Louis’ shirt to bring Louis
closer) “Give me a smoochie.” (licks Louis’ cheek while Louis screeches, pulls back, aggressively
wiping at his cheek) “Mhmm, all vanilla and offended. My favorite flavor.”
GEMMA: (knock on the door, from the outside) “Mom said no sex!”
LOUIS: (screaming) “Harry is trying to sex with me!”
GEMMA: (still outside, amused) “Harry, now…”
HARRY: (in between chuckles) “It’s not working!”
GEMMA: “Louis, now…”
HARRY: “Louis wants to sex with my ex boyfriend.”
LOUIS: (barely keeping a straight face) “True life on MTV.”
HARRY: (grabs Louis by the waist, slams him on the bed, climbs over him, smiles down) “You
done making me jealous, groupie?”
LOUIS: (points his tongue out) “She told me I was never looking for a friend, maybe you could
swing by room around ten—”
HARRY: (holds his hand over Louis’ mouth) “You are Satan.”
LOUIS: (mumbled) “She should figure it out while I’m sat here singing…”
HARRY: (mock serious) “Sing another lyric and you’ll have a giant hickey on your neck the size
of Alaska.”
ANNE: “I heard that!” (knocks on the wall)
LOUIS: “On my hotel door, I don’t even know if she knows what floor—“ (Harry lunges for his
neck, Louis squirms, laughs, out of breath) “Come on—that was perfect! I had to take that chance
—Haz, please, come on, mercy, pity, have pity!” (pushing him, Harry doesn’t budge) “Be
impressed, fucker.” (loud) “Anne, help, Anne!”
ANNE: (screaming from the other room) “Don’t make me come in there, Harry, because I will and
I’ll enjoy the sight.”
HARRY: (pulls away, grossed out look on his face while Louis giggles) “Mother, chill.”
ANNE: “Don’t tell me to chill, young man. Find your chill.”
HARRY: “Uh. I’m surrounded by tumblr-moms and—and ex-boyfriend worshippers.”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “Which one am I?”
HARRY: “Listen, hedgehog, you’re about to get it.”
LOUIS: “Anne protects me because I’m her favorite son.”
ANNE: “Yes, don’t you touch my favorite son.”
HARRY: “I give up!” (slumping beside him again, cuddling him) “I’m outnumbered. There’s
nothing to do but resign and sleep.”
LOUIS: “Yes. Sleep.” (minutes pass in silence before Louis whispers) “They say I’m up and
coming like I’m fucking in an elevator.”
HARRY: “Okay, now I’m thinking you want it.” (bites Louis’ neck)
LOUIS: (squeals, doesn’t pull away as Harry sucks on his neck to give him a love-bite) “As if,
ugly.”
HARRY: (smiles against Louis’ newly-bruised skin) “As if, huh?”
Scene 2: Arrival Midnight, 12:04am
ANNE: (opening the door to Harry’s room, looking inside) “Came in to say goodnight.”
HARRY: (awake, Louis sleeping on his chest, music still playing in the background, smiles at her)
“Goodnight, mommy.”
ANNE: “Are you sure you’ll be comfortable in that tiny bed? Did he not like the guest room? You
could give him yours?”
HARRY: “No, no. It’s not that. We’re just…” (looks at Louis affectionately) “Used to this.”
(touches Louis’ hair) “He sleeps better this way, wakes up less.”
ANNE: (knowingly) “Uh-huh…”
HARRY: (flustered) “He has insomnia so he needs someone to talk him to sleep and be there if he
startles awake. I’m good at it because I’ve learned to recognize the symptoms. That’s all.”
ANNE: “Ah…” (lingers at the door, looking at them) “Well, let me know if you need anything.”
(hesitates until Harry looks at her again) “Anything at all, I’m good with advice, remember? And
warm hugs.”
HARRY: (smiles) “I’ve missed you, mom.”
ANNE: “I missed you too, sweetheart. I’m so happy you’re here, both of you.”
HARRY: (biting his lip) “I’m happy he’s here.”
ANNE: “I can see that.”
Scene 3: Morning After Arrival, 11:14am
ANNE: (opening the door, smiles) “Hello, dear. We were wondering when you’d show up.” (steps
aside to let him in) “You’ve been MIA. I thought you broke up with Harry, not the entire family,
because how could anyone break up with my cooking?”
ED: (chuckles) “Where is the lie?” (hugs her) “I have a new boyfriend now called work. He’s very
possessive, won’t let me have any friends, or a life, abusive really.” (both walk further in, towards
the living room) “How’s having clumsy back? Did he break the new teacups I sent you for
Christmas yet?” (enters the living room, Harry’s on the couch, watching TV, Louis laid across his
lap, Ed stops for a few seconds, exhales, looks at Harry longingly, smile spreads on his face)
“There he is.”
ANNE: (touches Ed’s back comfortingly) “Someone’s here to see you, Harry.”
HARRY: (looks up, notices Ed, stunned like a deer in headlights, gasps) “Hi…”
LOUIS: (staring at Ed upside down, still laying on the couch, pops his lips) “Your hair is redder in
real life.”
ED: (looks away from Harry to smile at Louis) “Innit? It’s on fire.” (walks closer) “Louis, right?
Harry’s tiny, brilliant, french-named diva-porcupine whose ass makes grown men shed tears.”
(leans down, kisses Louis’ forehead innocently) “Nice to finally meet you, pretty boy.”
LOUIS: (flattered, grinning) “I’m 5’9, I’ll let you know.”
ED: “That’s what I’d have guessed too.” (straightens again so he’s face to face with Harry who
has yet to unfreeze, softly) “Hi, darling.” (kisses Harry’s cheek) “How have you’ve been?”
HARRY: (still speechless, both Louis and Ed, looking at him curiously) “Wow. Hi. Yeah, hi. I’ve
been wanting—waiting. For you.” (blushes) “I mean, I didn’t know you were here already—you
didn’t call. You were supposed to call—Tell me when you were going—I didn’t expect to see you
this early, I just…” (sits up abruptly, Louis almost falls over the couch at the movement,
remembers) “Sorry! Sorry. Sorry, I’m going to…Do you want water? A glass of water? Juice?
Coke? I’ll be a second… I’ll be back.” (hurries out of the room)
LOUIS: (blinks at the door, bites his lip, silence) “Uh, well…” (looks at Ed) “Should I or will
you?”
ED: “Million dollar question.”

Allies
Chapter 85: Allies
Scene 1: Now
LOUIS: (walks into the kitchen, sees Harry next to the sink, grasping the edge of the counter, eyes
closed) “Hey…”
HARRY: (startles, tries to smile) “Hi, didn’t hear you come in.”
LOUIS: (stands next to him, touches Harry’s hand) “Are they good feelings or bad feelings?”
HARRY: “Lots of feelings. Way too many. I wanna cry.” (tears up, laughs at himself, wipes his
eyes) “I wanna hug him and I wanna cry.” (Louis leans on Harry’s back, chin on Harry’s
shoulder) “He’s so different. First time I see him after the weight-loss, after the break up, after
having talked to him again…” (frustrated exhale) “I’m so emotional right now, it’s pathetic.”
LOUIS: “I think he’s nervous too. You both changed a lot.”
HARRY: “I know but at the same time, it feel the same. I feel…excited to see him. I feel that—
that safety he provided. Immediately. He doesn’t have to speak. As soon as he walked in the room,
I felt good and I don’t know what to do with that good feeling.”
LOUIS: (sits on the kitchen counter, more to himself) “I didn’t think he’d be this tall…and
awesome.” (Harry turns around to give him a look, Louis catches himself) “Oh, right, this is about
you. Sorry. It’s just…” (in wonder) “He’s so tall.”
HARRY: (shakes his head, laughs in between tears) “He is.”
LOUIS: “And I like his shirt.” (quickly) “But I came here to comfort you. This is about you.”
ED: (from the living room) “You need backup, Tommo?”
LOUIS: (excited whisper) “He has nicknamed me!”
HARRY: (sarcastic, raising an eyebrow in amusement) “But this about me, right?”
LOUIS: (guilty smile) “Yes. Well, not that part. I’m just…I have lots of feelings too, okay?”
ED: (walking in) “Debrief me.”
LOUIS: “Harry has emotions. I am comforting him.” (pets Harry’s curls awkwardly, Harry closes
one of his eyes in preparation to be poked) “I like your shirt. Could I wear it next time we go out?”
ED: (chuckles) “You’re very straightforward, aren’t you? I like it. I’ll let you keep it if you—“
(Louis practically crashes on the dishes sitting out to try, fumbles to save them) “You alright
there?”
LOUIS: “Perfecto. I never say that.”
ED: (turns towards Harry) “Hey.”

HARRY: (eyes flickering between Ed’s and the floor) “Hi…”
LOUIS: “We already went over this.”
HARRY: (frustrated, sarcastic) “Thanks, Lou. I’m glad you’re having the time of your life.”
LOUIS: (taken aback) “Chill. I just pointed—”
HARRY: (explodes) “—I’m glad meeting him is making your fucking day.”
ED: (calmly) “H, breathe.” (Harry tears up automatically) “Breathe. I’m okay, you’re okay. We’re
okay, remember? Always, remember?”
HARRY: (tears falling down his face, pursing his lips to hold himself together) “Don’t do that.
Don’t say that.” (breaking down slowly) “Don’t be like this.”
ED: (pulls Harry in his arms, hugs him tight, rocks him sideways) “Like what, H?”
HARRY: “Nice.”
ED: (amused) “You want me to be mean? I’m not too good at that but I can try for you.”
HARRY: (crying against his shirt) “I’m sorry.”
ED: (kissing Harry’s forehead, softly) “It’s okay, baby. It’s alright.”
LOUIS: (still on the counter) “Don’t do that.” (Ed looks at him) “Why is even crying? He doesn’t
know. Probably to get you to do that.”
HARRY: (turning around, furious, wiping at his tears) “You know what, I’m so…”
LOUIS: (unfazed) “So what?”
HARRY: “Done with you doing that thing where you make me feel like I’m not supposed to be
crying and…”
LOUIS: (raises an eyebrow) “You literally have no idea what you’re talking about right now.”
ED: “Uh…”
HARRY: (blurts) “You’re being so selfish, you selfish dick.”
LOUIS: “That’s it? That’s all you have?”
ED: (lingering) “How about we hold hands and sing kumbaya instead?“
LOUIS: (to Ed) “Provide the background music because I’m about to have a moment.” (to Harry)
“Haz, I love you but you’re being a baby. I get it, he’s sweet and I’m obsessed with him too, but
I’m not crying because I’m an adult who’s obsessed with him…and I don’t know where I was
going with this sentence or how it was supposed to make you feel better but do you want a hug?”
ED: (cringing, trying not to laugh) “I think the important part in Louis’ speech was—“
LOUIS: “That I’m also obsessed with you, Eddy.”

ED: “I was going to say the I love you part but—“
LOUIS: “But I’m also obs—“
ED: “I got it. Right back at you. We’ll talk later.”
LOUIS: (beams triumphantly, looks at Harry’s 100% done face, his smile falls) “Oh, right, you’re
still sad because, because this is about you…oh…” (to Ed, mock whispered) “When is later? Later
now or like in an hour, I’m free all day.”
HARRY: (blinks at him) “I hate you so much, you little, adorable, piece of fangirl poop…” (smile
slowly leaking in his face) “So much…”
LOUIS: (spreads his arms) “Come.”
HARRY: (snappy) “So what, you think I’m just going to forgive you and hug you?”
LOUIS: (deadpanned) “Oh, I was actually ask Ed for a hug but, this is awkward. It’s like you
always assume people love you when they only love me. Even I only love me.”
ED: “I’ve been blessed with witnessing how comforting someone should really be done. I shall
change my ways immediately.”
HARRY: (amused, stomping towards Louis, hugs him to his chest) “Doesn’t mean I forgive you.”
LOUIS: (still sitting on the counter, Harry between his legs, wraps his arms around Harry’s neck,
pulls him close) “Doesn’t mean I love you.” (mock whispered) “I only love you, Ed. Please love
me back.”
ED: “Will do.” (Harry chuckles)
LOUIS: “No, I meant like, now.”
HARRY: “Love tiny Louis immediately or the spikes will come out.”
LOUIS: (pulls away, looks at Harry seriously, real whisper) “Are you really okay?”
HARRY: (nods, kisses Louis’ nose, smiles fondly) “What do you think?”
LOUIS: (blushes, bites his lip, happy, trying to hide it) “Whatever.” (pushes him away, jumps off
the counter) “Time for me and Ed to bond now that I don’t have any guilt.” (tackles Ed into a hug,
creepily whispers) “Let later be now.”
ED: (looks down at him then Harry) “This…went way differently than I had planned, that’s for
sure. I should probably throw out those nine speeches I spent weeks preparing.”
HARRY: (approaches both of them, kisses Ed on the cheek) “Now you see what I put up with?”
Scene 2: Later
ED: (both outside in Harry’s backyard, smoking, Louis sitting on the table of a wooden, picnic
table, Ed walking around, motions towards Louis’ neck) “That Harry? I recognize a badly-made
hickey when I see one.” (Louis blushes, immediately covers it up with his hand) “Oh, sorry, are we
not supposed to talk about stuff like that because I’m not awkward if you’re not.”
LOUIS: “I’m not. Not at all. Why would I be?” (blurts) “Harry and I aren’t dating.”
ED: “Aren’t you straight?”
LOUIS: (relieved, smiling big, softens completely) “Yeah. I am. I can still be straight and do all
that stuff. We’re just extremely close and I love…well, him. And I love cuddling him but I’m still
straight.”
ED: (unfazed) “Fair.”
LOUIS: (eyes shining in joy) “Yeah?”
ED: “Hell if Zayn can platonically bed my ex, you can platonically get hickeys. It’s a free world,
let people platonically do whatever—except I’m still bitter as hell about that Zayn bedding my ex
thing but I’ll outgrow it.”
LOUIS: (winces) “Yeah, that must have sucked.”
ED: (snorts, amused) “It kinda did, yeah.”
LOUIS: “Are you and Zayn…?”
ED: (shrugs) “I don’t know. I think we want to be. Lots of things I miss about having him around
but it’s hard. We don’t often agree on what’s best for Harry and frankly sometimes I wonder why
we even have to. We were better friends when I wasn’t dating Harry. He and Harry are quite
close.”
LOUIS: “I’ve noticed.”
ED: “Yeah, but, but I don’t think you can imagine the full extent without—“
LOUIS: (matter-of-fact) “They slept together. Zayn almost tore my guts out my ass when I first
insulted Harry. Harry calls him every night before bed to make sure he’s okay. I’ve noticed.”
ED: (opens his mouth, closes it) “I’m not here to built my case or to justify what I’m sure he’s told
you about my relationship with Harry. It’s a matter of perception and—and the only thing we can
agree on is that we each did our best. That’s it. The end. I don’t want a sequel.”
LOUIS: (nods, few seconds of silent smoking go by before Louis speaks up again, trying to appear
casual) “So, you’re gay?”
ED: “Bi. Don’t tell Harry though. For some reason, it pisses him off. He’s jealous I can technically
date the entire world, I suppose.”
LOUIS: “How’s that?”
ED: “Well, I’m not currently dating the entire world—“
LOUIS: “Being bi. How’s being bi like?” (quieter) “Do you…get called a lot of names?”
ED: “First of all, it’s me, a fat, ginger, ugly, bi, internet famous person. Hell yes, I get called a lot
of names. But it’s okay. That’s the nature of the beast and if you don’t let the haters get to you, it’s
awesome.” (afterthought) “And not awesome. A bit of both. Awesome because I’m not restricted
to one gender. Not awesome because at times I feel like I am. It’s tough being treated like you’re in
denial, as if you have yet to decide. I have decided. Some people don’t recognize that. Harry’s one
of them at times.” (half-smile) “Goes to show being gay doesn’t mean you’re open-minded about
everyone.”
LOUIS: (immediately) “He is. That’s different.”
ED: “What’s different?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “You… He’s the most accepting person I know. And he’s genuine about it.
What he had with you, the way he…” (shrugs again, struggling) “It’s different. He really loved
you and he was just taken back at how fast you moved on. Made him feel like you realized after
him…you know? That you wanted a girl now.”
ED: “I did. I told myself he’d be the last boy I dated.” (shrugs) “I mean, words are just words but I
find it hard to imagine dating another man and not constantly comparing him to Harry.”
LOUIS: (sadder) “Oh… Is it like that for every relationship?”
ED: “No, no. People can fall in love lots of times. I’m just really…intense, let’s say. I get really
into people. I got really into Harry and I’m still recovering from that. Too early to date a man.”
LOUIS: (pipes up) “You could date Harry again?”
ED: (snorts) “No…”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “Wasn’t it a good relationship before?”
ED: “I don’t care what it was before—“
LOUIS: “Why not?”
ED: “Because it’s ‘after’ now, not before. What happened before is long gone.”
LOUIS: (nods) “It just looked like a really good relationship, that’s all.”
ED: “It was. I don’t regret a single day I spent being his boyfriend. It happened and it was
awesome. The ending, a bit unplanned, a bit of a plot-twist, but a great ride nonetheless.” (joking)
“If I regretted relationships, I’d be out of business.”
LOUIS: “How does one find out, the bi thing? How did you find out?” (quickly) “If you don’t
mind me asking. I ask everyone. I asked Harry and my friend, Luke. It’s just something I do.”
ED: “I don’t mind. I’m very open about this.”
LOUIS: “I’ve noticed. In the interviews. I mean, you always tell your fans—I am a fan of you so
I’ve seen some stuff, that’s all. I follow you and I noticed…”
ED: “I’m flattered.” (winking) “I’ll give you the version that’s too R-rated for TV, how about
that?”
LOUIS: (grins) “You mean to tell me not everything people say on camera is the truth? That
people purposefully come up with dramatic background stories to get more attention?”
ED: (shaking his head, mock disappointment) “The world is full of lies.”
LOUIS: “Tell me the true version. I’m gonna guess Harry wasn’t your first like the fairytale goes.
You didn’t meet him with angels singing acapella and playing harps to the tune of Electric Six.”
ED: “Nope. First time I found out was when I was in eighth grade and this older boy showed me
how to frot. It felt so good I subscribed to the dick ever since.”
LOUIS: “What’s a frot?”
ED: “Frotting is frontal sex.”
LOUIS: “Like missionary?”
ED: (grinning) “Like dick to dick contact. They used to do it a lot during the AIDS epidemic
because there’s less chance of transmission. It’s also more intimate, much less pain, not well
advertised.”
LOUIS: (blushed) “How would that…work?”
ED: (smirks, stands in front of him, between his legs, really close) “I’d show you but Harry’d have
my ass.” (touches Louis’ sides, looks down between their bodies, inches away but not touching)
“Like this, sometimes someone will provide a hand.” (Louis is completely flushed, Ed winks at him)
“Fun stuff.” (pulls away again) “I’m telling you the world opens up once you forsake missionary.”
LOUIS: (cheeks pink, a stuttering mess) “Uh, like, like naked and rubbing and stuff and that feels
good?”
ED: “Feels awesome. The very sensitive part on the underside of your dick—“ (Louis gulps) “Gets
stimulated through the movement—I’m sorry, is this too graphic? I’ve dropped all filters because
it’s you and I thought you’d take it well.”
LOUIS: (gulps again) “Yeah. I’m taking it well.”
ED: (raises an eyebrow, disbelieving) “I can see that.”
LOUIS: (small) “Did—did Harry like the…the frotting thing?”
ED: “He wasn’t much of a fan. Harry likes it rough in bed and his ass is very sensitive so he loves
anal. It drives him crazy when done right.” (Louis fidgets in his seat but doesn’t stop him) “I once
got him off just eating him up, no contact and—are you sure you’re taking this well?”
LOUIS: (squeaky, squinty, squirmy) “Yes, why?”
ED: “Because you look like you’re seconds away from passing out like a Victorian princess.”
LOUIS: “Harry told me about the fetishes.”
ED: “Yeah, he told me he did.” (plays with his eyebrows) “Now that’s very, very fun. You need to
commit though, no half-assing. If you’re gonna play, you play by his rules, how he wants it.”
LOUIS: “The general you.”
ED: “Huh?”
LOUIS: “When you use the term ‘you’, you mean the general you in the public, not me you.”
ED: (amused) “Aren’t you straight?”
LOUIS: “Yup.”
ED: “So of course I don’t mean you, duh.”
LOUIS: (nervous, shrilly laughter) “Of course. But can’t you be straight and…and…and maybe
try things sometimes. Weren’t you straight when you first tried frotting?”
ED: “I was. You can try things all the time. You can be straight and frot. You decide what label
you want, not the world interpreting your actions, got it? If you say you’re straight, everyone else
has to agree with it because who are they to tell you what your sexuality is. You can be straight and
sleep with men. Look at adult entertainers. Sexuality is nothing more than a mental thing. It is not
the clothes you wear, the mannerisms you make, the haircuts you keep or what you do in the
privacy of your own home.”
LOUIS: “What if I decide I’m not straight anymore?”
ED: “Then you’re not. What do you want, a ceremony? If you wake up one day and say, I’m gay
or bi or trans, everyone else should reply, awesome, good for you.”
LOUIS: (emotional) “But they don’t. That’s not how it works in real life.”
ED: (cups his face) “Listen to me, there will always be bigots and haters and ignorants. There will
always be a wave of people that is so far behind they are too blinded by prejudice to understand
basic human rights. You can’t change these people. Nod to let me know you heard that.” (Louis
nods) “You can’t make them listen. It takes time. But there are people out there who will embrace
change and who will treat others with compassion.” (pulls away) “There’s a community of allies
and people who have gone through similar things who will always be ready to support
newcomers.”
LOUIS: “People get less hurt when everyone is the same.”
ED: “That never happens. Everyone could be a white, straight male, aged thirty and they’d still
fight over nationality, or religion, or preference in ice-cream. People are quick to note differences
and get in the ‘us versus you’ mentality. It’s human nature but that doesn’t mean we cannot fight
against it. You can choose to be open-minded. That’s a choice you always make. You can vow to
catch every prejudiced thought you have and fight against it.”
LOUIS: (nods slowly, confesses) “Sometimes…I’m confused about…this topic, about what I…
about myself and what I…and Harry makes it worse because I feel…stuff with him, different
stuff…I feel…very confused.”
ED: (gentle) “Yeah, Harry has the ability to turn people.”
LOUIS: “Turn people?”
ED: “You know? Make them…reconsider, let’s say.”
LOUIS: “Huh?”
ED: “Their options. In partners.”

LOUIS: (realizing, growing fear) “Oh…Oh! Oh, no. I mean…no, I wouldn’t know. Does that
happen? Can that happen?”
ED: (notices, shifts the topic) “Anything can happen. Anyway…” (sees Louis is still shaking)
“You said you sang, right?” (Louis doesn’t reply, holding his breath) “Right, Louis, you said you
were gonna show me some songs you’ve been working on?”
LOUIS: (narrowed down on a spot on the floor) “Sorry, just a moment.”
ED: “Sit on the bench, might be better.“ (helps him off the table and onto the bench)
LOUIS: (weakly) “I’m fine. Just. I get some breathing issues sometimes.”
ED: (knowingly but keeping it innocent) “Like Harry.”
LOUIS: (breathy) “Like Harry.”
ED: (reaches out to touch the top of Louis’ hand lightly) “I was thinking of changing the chorus of
one of my new songs…” (talking casually despite Louis squeezing his hand so hard it’s turning
white) “Harry said you took music in college?”
LOUIS: “Theatre.” (still fighting hyperventilation) “I was a theatre double major.” (breathing
heavily) “You? And you?”
ED: (gently pushes Louis’ head down until it’s laid on top of his arms on the table, talking all the
way) “I did bio first, thought I’d go pre-med. Columbia pre-med, more like pre-mad.” (Louis
chuckles lightly, doesn’t raise his head, his shoulders are heaving) “Switched to music, general
music, nothing special. Music business is good, should have done that, then maybe I’d have known
about the music industry and how you can’t be fat in it.” (laughs at himself) “Uni was okay. Gotta
do what I loved, failed classes I didn’t.”
LOUIS: (under his breath) “Maybe this time it’s going to be really bad.”
ED: (caressing the top of his hair) “It’s not. I know it sucks all the same but it’s not going to be
fatal.”
LOUIS: (genuinely unsure) “How do you know?”
ED: “Because I’ve done this before, remember? I’m a pro at this. I’ve taken care of Harry before
and I’ll take care of you if you need me to. I’ll stay right here, okay?” (caresses Louis’ fingers)
“Just breathe through it.”
LOUIS: (panicked and frustrated) “This means I can’t be anything—“ (chokes on not enough air)
“I can’t do anything like that..”
ED: (shushes him) “This means nothing more than you need a few seconds to catch your breath. I
shouldn’t have pushed you like that. But you were so strong.”
LOUIS: (teary-eyed, face still in his hands, voice shaky) “Yeah?”
ED: “Yes. You’re so strong and so good for Harry.” (Louis sobs, Ed rubs his back) “He needs
someone like you to teach him to how never give up and never let others hold him back.”
LOUIS: (slowly taking bigger breaths, coming down) “But I’m not like that…not inside, where it
counts. I’m only pretty on the outside.”
ED: “You’re pretty all around, darling. You’re just too insecure to see it but you will.” (Louis
raises his face, looks at Ed, stunned) “To Harry, you’re perfect and if you spend enough time with
him, he’ll show you how to love yourself as much as he loves you because you have no idea what
that kid would do for your smiles. And I have a pretty good idea of what you’d do for his. That’s
all that matters in the end, if you two are smiling, that’s all you need. Everything else can be sorted
out, I promise.”
Angel
Chapter 86: Angel
Scene 1: Tenor
(Bar, Cheshire)
HARRY: (walks to the bar where Louis is leaning) “I’m back. You didn’t come say hi. They
wanted to meet you. What are you up to?”
LOUIS: (turns towards him finally, unbalanced, very drunk, unnecessarily loud, eyes widen)
“Harreh!” (hugs him, stumbles, grabs onto Harry’s shirt, pulls himself up) “Harry. Harry. Harry.”
(cups Harry’s face, rubs their noses together) “My Harry.”
HARRY: (can’t help the smile that’s on his face or the fond in his tone) “Hi pretty boy.” (Louis
smiles bigger) “You’ve had enough for tonight, yeah?”
LOUIS: (placing sloppy kisses on Harry’s cheek) “No, more! More blue shots. This is fun. Take
one with me.” (waving at the bartender who looks just about ready to knock him out) “Hey friend,
four more! Or no, maybe six. Six more. Six more Nemo shots!” (bartender shakes his head, Louis
turns to Harry, excitedly) “There’s this blue one with M&M-s and Nemo!” (puts his tongue out,
talking incoherently) “You put the Nemo in your tongue and take the shot upside down.” (touches
the ends of his hair) “I got it all over. My hair’s sticky—but it was awesome. I wanna see you do it.
Your hair will be a mess.” (runs his fingers through Harry’s locks) “It’s cool though, right? Have
you done it before?”
HARRY: (faint smile, balancing him with both hands on Louis’ small waist) “How about a glass
of water instead?”
LOUIS: (grins, sloshed) “How about a glass of you?” (thinks it’s hilarious, laughs) “Remember
when you said ‘cup of ass’ at the beginning when I didn’t know how to talk to you yet, that was
funny, I’d have a cup of your ass now.” (more laughing) “I heard you loved having your ass ate—
Ed said.“
HARRY: (mildly vexed) “Of course he did. Because you and my ex have time to talk about my ass
somehow…”
LOUIS: (publicly announcing with the volume of his voice) “He said he ate you out and you shot
all over the place!”
HARRY: (embarrassed) “Shh. Shh.”
LOUIS: (smirks, bites his lip, eyes lidded) “I’d do it. For you. I’d do it.”
HARRY: (rolling his eyes) “Of course you would.”
LOUIS: “I’d eat you up all right. I’d eat you all up and you’d taste like jasmine tea and cookies
and Nemo M&M-s.”
HARRY: (wraps an arm around Louis’ waist as he motions for the bartender) “How much did
you have, love?”
LOUIS: (leaning on him) “Many Nemo shots.”
BARTENDER DUDE: (coming closer reluctantly, annoyed) “Yeah? What can I get you?” (looks
at Louis) “He with you?” (Harry nods) “We’ve cut him off, just so you know. You can’t order for
him either. He’s already lost some of it under the bar.”
LOUIS: (loud, slapping his hand on the bar) “I did not puke, mister muscles. I spit. I was
spitting.”
HARRY: (sheepish) “How much has he had?”
BARTENDER DUDE: “Like nine.”
HARRY: (worried) “Nine?!”
BARTENDER DUDE: “We don’t normally serve that many to a person in such a short span of
time but the punk lied and told us he was with a group—”
LOUIS: “I was with a group.” (counting on his fingers sloppily) “Me, my stomach, you, did you
have one? I gave you one, right? I thought I bought sixteen, did I buy sixteen? Aren’t we friends?”
BARTENDER DUDE: “Yes, you bought sixteen. No, we’re not friends. I wish I’d never met you.
You keep spilling shit and you’re a piss poor tipper.”
LOUIS: “Friends buy friends shots, friend. Shot me. Not shoot me.” (starts giggling madly) “Get it
because—“ (collapses into more laughter)
BARTENDER DUDE: (to Harry, motions with his head to a group of boys) “He had those guys
buy him a few too because he flirts like it’s his job.” (Harry frowns, Louis is too busy giggling)
“This ain’t on me if this man-child dies.”
LOUIS: (adorably angry) “I’m not a man-child. I’m older than you. I’m 5’9!”
HARRY: (exasperated) “Lou…”
LOUIS: (points his tongue out to the waiter) “You traitor. I did not tip you a twenty for this
disrespect.”
BARTENDER DUDE: “You didn’t tip me a twenty or this would have gone differently.”
LOUIS: (slumps forward on the bar, jumps up a little to lean on it and poke the bartender on the
chest) “Just so you know I’m very good with alcohol and I only had three.” (has four fingers up)
“Four. And a beer. Who paid for the beer?”
BARTENDER DUDE: (unamused) “You did.” (to Harry) “What did you want?”
LOUIS: “Me! He only wants me. He wants me this much—“ (spreads his arms, knocks over a few
empty glasses that are sitting on the bar) “Oops… I did it again.” (dies laughing, turns to Harry)
“Yes, right?”
HARRY: (gentle) “Right. Can you step down for me?” (opens his arms, beckons him) “Come
here.”
BARTENDER DUDE: (picking up the glasses, muttering through his teeth) “Are you gonna order
anything before I strangle this light-weight—“
HARRY: “Water. A bottle of water. Please.” (bartender throws Louis another look before going to
get the bottle) “Lou.” (grabs him by the waist, pulls him away from the bar and towards himself)
“Come here for a second?”
LOUIS: (leans back too far, slips, almost falls on his ass, squeaks) “Soldier down! Send backup!”
HARRY: (catches him, holds him firmly in his arms, Louis’ face against his collarbone) “Easy,
are you okay? Are you feeling okay?” (under his own breath) “I left you for fifteen minutes and
this…”
LOUIS: (violently pouting) “You left for more, so much more. You left to flirt with your old,
stupid-band friends who are not attractive—“ (hiccups) “Not like me, and, and make me jealous—I
don’t take well to being made jealous!”
HARRY: “I asked you to come say hi—“
LOUIS: “I drank a shot for every time he touched you because fuck him, okay?” (tries to balance
himself on the bar with one hand) “Wait.” (other hand on his mouth, chokes, thinks he’s going to
puke, burps) “Ugh, okay, I’m good. Nope.” (another burp) “Now, I’m good.” (looks up at Harry)
“Fuck whoever thinks they’re gonna make a move on you, fuck them all. You’re either gonna be
with me or Ed, because he understands how I wan’t this to work, you understand?”
HARRY: (cocks his head in loss) “Ed? What?”
LOUIS: “I want you to be with me but with him like that, with me like this so I don’t have to
worry about that—Where is Ed? He explains it better probably.” (screaming) “Eddy!”
HARRY: “He didn’t come, remember?”
LOUIS: (as if he just noticed) “Why? He said he’d come.”
HARRY: “Tomorrow. He said he’d come if we go tomorrow.”
LOUIS: “Let’s go tomorrow.”
HARRY: “Let’s survive tonight first, bud.”
LOUIS: (pushes him away, makes a disgusted face) “Don’t call me bud.” (sassy) “I’m not bud. I’m
darling-love-baby-hedgehog.” (nuzzles his shirt, looks up with big, blue eyes) “Little Loui who you
love.”
HARRY: (amused, chuckling) “Yes, tiny, lovely Loui who I left for two minutes and got shitfaced
with Little Mermaid shots.”
LOUIS: “Nemo.”
HARRY: “Nemo shots.”
LOUIS: (hiccups, smiles, blinking lazily) “I want to bite you like you bit me.” (another hiccup)
“On my neck. Felt good. I liked it.” (giggles) “Bite me again.” (laying open mouth kisses on
Harry’s naked chest, mostly just wetting the skin in saliva) “Bite me like a dinosaur. Rawr.”
HARRY: (grabs the bottle from the bartender who appears disturbed by the display) “Thanks.”
(to Louis) “Let’s drink some water, eh?”
LOUIS: (doesn’t make to move, speech slurred and mumbled against Harry’s skin) “Why are you
not bitting me?”
HARRY: “I’ll bite you if you drink some water, how about that?”
LOUIS: (smirks) “Before. Then I drink. I need down payments.”
HARRY: (rolls his eyes again, leans down, Louis scrunches his shoulders, giggling) “Make room
then, you want it or not?” (more giggling, finally bares his neck, Harry kisses it gently) “There.”
LOUIS: “No, you cheated. I know what it’s supposed to feel like.” (wraps his arms around
Harry’s waist, fingers clinging on the back of his button down) “Do it right.”
HARRY: “Like this?” (sucks lightly on the skin) “You like it like this?”
LOUIS: (a tiny moan followed by a hum) “Yeah…” (bites his lip, hugs him closer) “More.”
HARRY: (pulls away, eyes practically black in contained lust) “Water, like you promised.”
LOUIS: (takes the bottle, smirking at Harry all the way) “Then you’ll give me more?”
HARRY: (breath hitches, tries to chuckle, comes out breathy) “We’ll negotiate terms.”
LOUIS: (takes a few sips before stopping, not pulling the bottle out of his mouth, letting it linger
there between his wet lips) “Happy?”
HARRY: (drawn in by the display but trying to concentrate on the matter at hand) “A little more.”
LOUIS: (spoken around the bottle) “You first.”
HARRY: (pulls the bottle away from him, lays it on the bar) “You’re being difficult today then.”
(leans closer until Louis is trapped against the bar, one of Harrys hands on the small of his back,
whispers) “Don’t make me feed it to you.”
LOUIS: (openly rolls his eyes down Harry’s lips, neck and torso, biting his lip all the way, slides
his hands below Harry’s button-down to touch his stomach) “You’re so hot like this.” (Harry pulls
away with a faint smile, Louis yanks his hands back, immediately embarrassed) “I’m sorry—I
didn’t mean to—I didn’t. I’m sorry.”
HARRY: (rubs Louis’ back) “Nothing wrong with it… Just not when you’re this drunk.”
LOUIS: (whiny) “But I can’t do it if I’m not.”
HARRY: “That’s the problem.”
LOUIS: “Cant we just pretend—“
HARRY: (stern) “No.”
LOUIS: (grinning) “I want to do the frotty thing.”

HARRY: “No, you don’t. And you’ve been hanging out with Ed too much if he’s taught you that.”
(to himself) “What the hell does he talk you about anyway—what is this shit?”
LOUIS: (frowns) “He said it feels good. I wanna feel good.” (wraps himself around Harry,
nuzzling his neck, kissing it, Harry hisses) “I wanna make you feel good.”
HARRY: (caresses Louis’ hair gently before pulling Louis’ head away from his own neck) “Stop,
love.”
LOUIS: (pouts) “Why?”
HARRY: “Because it’s not going to happen.”
LOUIS: “Come on.”
HARRY: (sighs, bites his lip) “I’m sorry.”
LOUIS: (whimpers) “Please.”
HARRY: “Anything you’d regret sober, I’m not letting you do drunk.”
LOUIS: (wraps his arms around Harry’s waist again, purposefully rolls his hips, crotch flush
against Harry’s thigh, whispered) “But you want it…”
HARRY: (aroused, gulps) “Not like this.”
LOUIS: (in Harry’s ear) “Like what then?”
HARRY: “With full awareness. And consent.”
LOUIS: (scoffs as if it’s a joke) “Huh. That’s never going to happen.”
HARRY: “Too bad for me then.”
LOUIS: (whiny) “Come on. I want it now. Isn’t that enough? I want it now and drunk—Who
cares?”
HARRY: “I care. I care because I know how much you had to drink to get here.”
LOUIS: “You’ll say no when I’m giving it to you?”
HARRY: (shrugs) “I don’t want it.”
LOUIS: (grabs Harry’s ass, pushes him forward so their crotches touch, moves against him)
“Don’t want it, hm?”
HARRY: (breathing heavily) “Not now.”
LOUIS: (looks down at their hard-ons, tenting the jeans, to himself) “Shit…” (looks up at Harry,
lewd) “Not tempted at all? Because I sure am.”
HARRY: (pushes him back to detach their bodies) “Nope.”
LOUIS: (groping Harry’s pants) “Then why are you rock hard, Styles?”
HARRY: (smacks his hand away, angry) “I can’t control my physiological reactions. I can control
whether I rape you or not.”
LOUIS: (stunned) “I want it.”
HARRY: “No, you don’t, Lou. You know you don’t.”
LOUIS: “Don’t tell me what I fucking want or not. I’m horny and frustrated and I want you to get
me off.”
HARRY: “Not happening.”
LOUIS: (shocked) “Are you…rejecting me?”
HARRY: “I’m not going to sexually assault you. If that’s rejection then so be it.”
LOUIS: (annoyed) “Harry.”
HARRY: “Will you freak out about this tomorrow?”
LOUIS: “I’m not freaking out now.”
HARRY: (pushes him back against the bar, voice rough and horse against Louis’ ear) “Will you
freak out knowing a man put his big, rough hand down your wet pants and made you come so hard
your fucking knees gave out.”
LOUIS: (low moan in the back of his throat) “Show me.”
HARRY: “Answer the question.”
LOUIS: “Who cares?” (more desperate) “Snow me.”
HARRY: “I care. Answer the question.” (staring at him intensely) “You and I both know the
answer so I want you to say it out loud.”
LOUIS: “I am so sick of caring so I decided tonight that I wouldn’t care.” (grabs Harry’s hand,
puts it on the outline of his hard-on in his jeans) “So fucking get on with it. I’m finally where you
need me to be.”
HARRY: “Trashed beyond awareness and memory?”
LOUIS: (smirks sadly) “Exactly.”
HARRY: “Then you’re the furthest away from where I need you or want you.”
LOUIS: (pissy) “Look, moral messiah, I drank tonight for one reason and one reason alone, and
you’re gonna touch my cock if you don’t want that money wasted.”
HARRY: (shakes his head) “I hate this you.”
LOUIS: “Too bad because he’s the only me that’ll do this. Now drop your principles with your
pants. I don’t care for them.”
HARRY: “You’ll care tomorrow.”

LOUIS: “That’s why I’m doing it now, not tomorrow.”
HARRY: “That’s not how I function.”
LOUIS: “Get me off. I’ll moan your name if that’s what you’re scared about. I’ll keep my eyes
open too and look at you doing it.”
HARRY: (furious) “That’s not the issue here.”
LOUIS: “Then what is the fucking issue, you prude?!”
HARRY: (cold) “Tomorrow.”
LOUIS: (snapped) “Fuck tomorrow.”
HARRY: (stubborn) “Fuck tonight!” (determined) “I’m not ruining my life for a night, for a quick
jerkie in a bathroom. You’re nuts to even suggest it.”
LOUIS: (mocking) “Ruining your life?”
HARRY: (serious) “Right. You are my life now, a huge part of it. I care about you so much and
I’m not losing you over a night. You might want tonight-me but I want tomorrow-you. That’s the
you I care about most so I’m not doing anything to piss him off. He’s sassy, impatient and
goddamn repressed but he’s everything to me.”
LOUIS: (whispering) “What about this…”
HARRY: “You can’t tempt me. I’m always thinking of him. You’re hot, sexy…” (bites his lip,
caresses Louis’ cheek) “God, you’re mind-blowing like this but he’s first, he’s my number one.
Got it? My number one. He calls all the shots, has me wrapped around his finger.”
LOUIS: (in disbelief) “But he freaks out every second and is not worth anyone’s time and—“
HARRY: “And screams and yells and panics and sometimes is an asshole and says stuff that hit
below the belt when he feels cornered and loves me for more than my body. He’s the one I want.”
LOUIS: (brokenly) “You’ll never get him.”
HARRY: “That’s fine. I don’t want you if I can’t have him.”
LOUIS: “That’s not fair!”
HARRY: (shrugs) “What can you do?”
LOUIS: (overwhelmed in emotion, pushes him off) “Step aside then, any other of these idiots will
do it in no time.”
HARRY: (not inching, has him trapped against the bar) “As if.”
LOUIS: “If you’re not gonna give me what I want, I’ll get it somewhere else.”
HARRY: “Give it up. It’s not gonna happen tonight.” (Louis tries to step aside, Harry grabs him,
puts him back in his original place) “Not tonight, Lou.”
LOUIS: (frustrated) “Let go! I can do what I want—You have no right.” (teary) “You don’t wanna
give me what I want, you don’t get to control what I do. Let me leave. I don’t wanna stay here
anymore.”
HARRY: (hurt but swallowing it) “Let’s go home. I’ll take you home.”
LOUIS: “No.” (turns his back on him, leans on the bar) “I don’t wanna go back. I don’t want you
here at all.”
HARRY: (sighs, leans on the bar beside him, wraps an arm around his shoulders) “Hey…”
(Louis avoids his eyes, glaring at the bar) “Let’s go home, please.” (Louis doesn’t reply, Harry
sighs) “Maybe you’ll convince me on the way. Either way we need to be home, right?”
LOUIS: (mumbled) “You’re lying to get me out of here.”
HARRY: “I’m not. Maybe you will convince me. It is a possibility.”
LOUIS: “No, it’s not. I won’t.” (looking at the other people) “You’re too good of a person for
something like that.”
HARRY: (kisses his temple) “You wanna stay here then?” (Louis shrugs, obviously doesn’t but
too stubborn to admit it) “Okay, we’ll stay. We’ll stay here as long as you want.” (slides the water
bottle so it’s in front of Louis again) “You drink this, I’ll have a coke and we’ll play the age game.
How old do you think mister muscle is?” (Louis is trying to bite the faint smile from his lips)
“Twenty-seven? Thirty?”
LOUIS: (hiding a smile by drinking water continuously) “Thirty-three, I asked. He has a wife and a
daughter named Libra, like the horoscope. It’s dumb and I hate him.”
HARRY: “For someone who was swimming with Nemo, good attention to detail.”
LOUIS: “Whatever.” (turns around, still shaky) “We gonna go home or what? I’m done watching
people make a fool out of themselves.”
HARRY: (smiles at him, wraps an arm around his waist to guide him) “I was actually thinking of
making a move on daddy bartender—“ (catches Louis’ eye) “What, he’s an actual dad, he has a
daughter.”
LOUIS: (grasps Harry’s shirt, pulls him towards the exit unaware that Harry’s basically holding
him up every step) “You mistook the eyebrow for disgust. It was possessiveness.”
HARRY: (teasing) “Alright, alright. He’s all yours, that one.”
Scene 2: Alto
(Same Night, Home)
LOUIS: (laying on Harry’s bed, visibly troubled, sobering up quickly and painfully) “I don’t know
why I…I’m just…I…”
HARRY: (sitting on the bed beside him, caressing Louis’ hair) “You’re just horny.” (Louis looks
up, half-pained) “There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.” (Louis whimpers lowly) “It’s
normal when you’re drunk and it’s also normal to get yourself off.” (Louis hand grabs onto his
hard-on above his pants, Harry gently removes it) “Not now, love. Wait for me to leave first,
okay?”
LOUIS: (latches onto to Harry’s shirt as Harry is about to stand up, yanks him back so quickly,
some of the buttons fly off the shirt) “I don’t want to sleep alone tonight. I’ll have bad dreams.”
HARRY: “You won’t. I’ll leave, prepare a midnight snack and you do what you need to do here,
take a quick shower, climb into clean, warm clothes and call me. I’ll come cuddle you to sleep as
usual.”
LOUIS: “And you’ll stay?”
HARRY: “I’ll stay. I’ll tell you a goodnight story, an insomnia story so there’s no bad dreams.”
LOUIS: (panicked) “And tomorrow?”
HARRY: “What about tomorrow?”
LOUIS: “You’ll forgive me? You’ll treat me right?”
HARRY: (petting his hair) “I don’t know who has made you so scared of constant humiliation but
I wish I could find them and make them pay.” (leans down, kisses Louis’ forehead) “I’ll never
come after you with the sole purpose of hurting you and shaming you.”
LOUIS: (grabs Harry by the shirt as Harry is pulling away, keeps him close, whispers against
Harry’s cheek) “I’m scared.”
HARRY: “Scared of what?”
LOUIS: “Of losing control. Of this. Of tonight. I’m scared.”
HARRY: “I’ll be there no matter what happens.”
LOUIS: “How can you promise me that after you know how ruthless I can be?”
Scene 3: Soprano
(Later That Night, Harry’s Room)
HARRY: (opens the door slowly) “Hey there, are you all tucked in?” (walks further in) “I brought
you a glass of milk to help you fall asleep.”
LOUIS: (curled up on the side in bed, shaking with silent crying, voice weak) “I’m sorry. I’m so
sorry.”
HARRY: “No, darling, it’s nothing…” (puts the glass on the bed side table, lays down next to
Louis) “Don’t cry. Don’t do this to yourself.” (pulls him to his chest) “Louis.”
LOUIS: (clings to Harry’s shirt, sobbing) “I’m so sorry. I’m so pathetic and I ruined everything. I
ruined everything. I ruined our friendship. I ruined everything I had. I always do this. I always do
this bad thing when I can’t control myself because I have bad feelings for all my friends—wrong
feelings that ruin stuff and make them hurt me and I ruined this because I did it again—It always
ends bad—I do this with everyone and they hate me after and I keep doing it because I’m such a
piece of shit. I don’t deserve friends—” (chocking on his sobs and breaths, breaking down)
“You’re all I have and that was so wrong—I didn’t mean it—I got confused—I didn’t—I’m so
sorry. Please, I’m so sorry.”
HARRY: (genuinely worried now, hugging him tightly) “No, love. What are you saying? Nothing
happened—Lou, hey. Lou, nothing happened. We’re alright. We’re fine—We were fine. We joked
about it. It was okay. It’s okay.“ (caressing his hair, peppering it with kisses when Louis doesn’t
relax, only get more frazzled) “Lou.”
LOUIS: “I don’t want you to hurt me.”
HARRY: (caught off guard) “What?”
LOUIS: “Please, don’t hurt me.”
HARRY: “I’d never hurt you.” (looks at him, Louis has his eyes shut, he’s shaking all over)
“Never ever. Am I hurting you right now? Did I hurt you before? Have I ever? Talk to me, Lou.
How can I help? Where does it hurt?”
LOUIS: (weak whispers) “He hurt me so bad after. So bad. It hurt so bad. I didn’t want to be alive.
It hurt so much.”
HARRY: (pulls the cover all the way over their head) “He won’t do it again because I have you,
look at me.” (Louis barely opens his eyes) “I have you here where you’re safe and he’ll never get
you again.” (raises his hand to brush away Louis’ bangs from his face, Louis flinches hard at the
act and whimpers ‘please’, Harry’s voice cracks) “No, love. Not like that at all.” (softly caresses
his hair slowly) “Not at all, my little one. Look?” (presses an urgent kiss on Louis’ forehead,
mumbles against it) “I’m not like him. I don’t know who he is but I’m not like him, I promise
you.”
LOUIS: (eyes tight in tears, hands blindly grabbing on Harry’s forearms to ground himself any
way possible, fingers bruising the skin with their hold, mumbling in repetition) “I was sorry. I did it
accidentally. He didn’t have to do that.”
HARRY: (cups his face, brings him close so they’re breathing the same air) “There’s nothing to
be sorry about. You did nothing wrong tonight. Look at me, angel. Please open your eyes for me,
please.” (Louis opens his eyes slowly, Harry keeps eye contact) “You have done nothing wrong.
I’m still here. I’ll always be here. I will never, ever leave you. I Zayn you, remember?” (touches
Louis’ face with his fingertips, smiling, teary-eyed) “That’s our thing, remember? Just you and me
know what that means, just us. You know why? Because it’s different because we’re different.”
LOUIS: (hands on top of Harry’s, small, raw) “Different?”
HARRY: “Yes. Different like nothing that has ever happened before. We’re so different and I love
that about us.”
LOUIS: “I want different.”
HARRY: (nose to nose) “Then I’ll give you different, darling.”

Actually
Chapter 87: Actually
Scene 1
HARRY: (sitting on his bed, Louis still cuddled under the sheets) “Are we going to talk about last
night?”
LOUIS: “What about it?”
HARRY: “You know…”
LOUIS: “You don’t.”
HARRY: “Huh?”
LOUIS: “You don’t know, remember? Everything that happens in the dark you can’t know
because…because the rules.”
HARRY: (softly) “Louis…”
LOUIS: “You’re breaking the rules.”
HARRY: “I want to help.”
LOUIS: “Help with what?”
HARRY: “Lou, please.”
LOUIS: “Help with what? What could there be to help with?”
HARRY: “Don’t you think it’s time to, I don’t know…Maybe…Talk. About this. About you. A
bit.”
LOUIS: “I talk about me all the time. I’m a narcissistic fuck.”
HARRY: “More about you.”
LOUIS: “Like?”
HARRY: “Like…last night.”
LOUIS: “Like last night what?”
HARRY: “Are you really gonna make me say it?”
LOUIS: “I sure hope you don’t, if you know what’s right for us.”
HARRY: “What about what’s right for you?”
LOUIS: “I got too drunk, maybe drugged, maybe that was it. I was drugged. Someone spiked my
drink and I lost my mind and all that bar-shit happened and then I came home and felt like shit and
I woke up feeling like shit because that’s what happens when you drink a lot—and get drugged.
That’s what happens. That’s what happened. That was last night. We have talked about last night
now—Let’s talk about tonight. Is Ed coming tonight?”
HARRY: “What about…” (shrugs) “The other stuff… The things you said and…” (looks down)
“And the whole, I don’t know…that whole…”
LOUIS: “I-think-you’re-hot thing?”
HARRY: (blushes) “Yeah.”
LOUIS: “I think Tequila bottles and toilet brushes are hot when I’m drunk, doesn’t take too
much.”
HARRY: (nods, forced smile) “Yeah, I get it. It’s a drunk thing. We’ve all been drunk—We’ve all
had those nights. Bad nights full of…bad decisions and dumb stuff we say. Typical college nights,
I assume at least since I… Well, happens to the best of us. That kind of thing.” (standing up
awkwardly) “Let me know if you need anything, like Tylenol or towels, food, new sheets…”
(heads for the door) “I’ll be downstairs.”
LOUIS: “You can stay, if you want. I’ll make room…” (shifts to the edge of the bed, eyes big) “I
didn’t puke so I’m all clean and such.”
HARRY: (small smile that falls) “I should probably…” (points behind his back) “Mom wants me
to do the dishes.”
LOUIS: (nods slowly) “I didn’t puke, did I?”
HARRY: “No, you didn’t. You were fine. Wobbly and cuddly but fine.” (shrugs) “I liked it.”
(chuckle) “But then again I always like you so what’s new.” (heads out before Louis can speak
again)
Scene 2
LOUIS: (on their way to the club, walking) “Hey.” (grabs Ed’s arm, pulls him so they’re further
back from the group, walking slower) “Come here for a second…”
HARRY: (notices, pauses mid-sentence, confused) “Is everything okay?”
LOUIS: “Fine, we’ll be right there.”
HARRY: (shoulders slumped) “Oh. Alright. I’ll be…” (trails off, continues talking to some
friends, not looking back)
ED: “What’s up?”
LOUIS: (reluctant) “I need you to watch out for me tonight.”
ED: “Yeah, for sure, man.”
LOUIS: “No, I mean really. I need you to make sure I don’t do anything stupid.”
ED: “Like…”
LOUIS: “Like anything I’d regret the next day. Anything I wouldn’t normally do. I need you to
make sure that doesn’t happen.” (vulnerable) “Can you?”
ED: (nodding slowly) “Yeah, don’t worry. I get it.” (starts walking again) “Let’s catch up before
Harry re-weds his—“
LOUIS: (grabs him, pulls him back) “No, I don’t think you do.” (looks at Harry, bites his lip,
looks at Ed again, pleading) “I need—“
ED: (interjects) “I know. I get it. I won’t let you.”
LOUIS: “No matter what.”
ED: “Yeah, no worries—“
LOUIS: “No, Ed, I need you to help me no matter what I’m saying at the time because sometimes
I say wrong things. I’m not gonna drink tonight but just in case I go mad or get…confused, I need
you to catch me and—and interrupt or do whatever it takes to stop me because I don’t want
yesterday to happen again.”
ED: “I have you.”
LOUIS: “Promise me.” (extends his pinkie) “Promise me you have me tonight. I’ll make it up to
you. We’re friends, right?”
ED: “We are.” (touches their pinkies together) “And I’ll do as you say but I won’t promise you no
regrets.”
Scene 3
HARRY: (in the club, approaching Louis, shyly) “Not drinking?”
LOUIS: (elbow on the bar, holding a glass) “Nah.”
HARRY: “Still feeling the effects of last night?”
LOUIS: “The thought of alcohol has me gagging.”
HARRY: “I bet.” (silent lingering, looks at Louis’ glass) “Water?”
LOUIS: “Sprite.”
HARRY: “Ah.” (more waiting, both moving stiffly to the music, avoiding eye contact) “You know
what they say, a hair of—“
LOUIS: (immediately) “Yup. Now that I think about it maybe beer wouldn’t be too bad.”
HARRY: “Yeah?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “It’s just beer, right?”
HARRY: “Want me to…?”
LOUIS: “Uh, sure.”

HARRY: (quickly) “Like friends.”
LOUIS: “Course. I mean, like, of course, everyone knows that.”
HARRY: “Right.” (sipping on his drink, not casual) “What’d you talk about with Ed?”
LOUIS: “Oh you know…”
HARRY: “Um…”
LOUIS: “Like, stuff and stuff.”
HARRY: “Stuff and stuff.”
LOUIS: “Bro stuff.”
HARRY: “Bro stuff…”
LOUIS: “Stuff you’d talk about with a bro, that kind of stuff like…like chicks and stuff.”
HARRY: (winces) “Bro stuff.”
LOUIS: “We don’t talk about bro stuff, you know, so he’s a good replacement—” (regrets his
choice of words) “Person friend thing.”
HARRY: (eyes on the floor) “We could. Talk.”
LOUIS: “I guess we could.” (looking around frantically for an out) “Where’s Ed…?”
HARRY: (motioning with his glass without looking up) “There.”
LOUIS: (squinting) “Where?”
HARRY: “Couches on the right. Flirting with the blond bombshell.”
LOUIS: (looks around Harry) “Oh. How did even you see that?”
HARRY: “I have a good Ed-dar. Leftover from years of jealousy and possessiveness.”
LOUIS: “Are you jealous now?”
HARRY: “Not exactly.”
LOUIS: “So kind of?” (grinning) “You jealous of me? Is that why you asked about what I told
him?”
HARRY: (throws the straw out, drinks from the glass, smirking) “Close but no cigar.”
LOUIS: “Ah?”
HARRY: (looking out at the people in the club) “You’d know if we talked about bro stuff but
alas…” (sips on his drink again)
LOUIS: “We can’t talk about bro stuff. You’re not my bro.”
HARRY: (turns towards him) “What am I then?”
LOUIS: “You know…”
HARRY: “I’m all ears.”
LOUIS: “Harry…” (squirming) “You know.”
HARRY: (biting his lip, flirtatious) “Do I?”
LOUIS: (gulps) “Yeah, you know…you’re…you. We’re us, we’re not bros. We’re…” (shrugs,
pulling at his sleeves, frazzled) “Not like that. You said it yourself that time. You said you hated
the word and you know why, we both…Not like that.”
HARRY: (leaning in, sides touching) “Like what then?”
LOUIS: (doesn’t move away) “You tell me.”
HARRY: “I would but you’d scream.”
LOUIS: (tiny smile) “I scream for no one.”
HARRY: “You’d scream for me.”
LOUIS: (caught up) “That so?”
HARRY: (hidden excitement, hand slowly reaches to touch Louis’ waist) “Don’t know, would
have to test it.”
LOUIS: “You seemed quite sure earlier.”
HARRY: (nervous laughter) “When am I ever sure of anything?”
LOUIS: “I need you to be sure of this.”
HARRY: “This…?”
LOUIS: (blinking vaguely) “This.”
HARRY: (chuckle) “I’m confused.”
LOUIS: “I was never not confused when it comes to you.”
HARRY: “This sounds important.”
LOUIS: (smiling fondly) “Probably because it is, potato.”
HARRY: (blurts) “Should probably just kiss you and get it over with—“ (catches sight of Louis’
shock) “I’m—was—joking—am—joking. Was a joke…bro.”
LOUIS: (scrunches his nose) “Bro?”
HARRY: (flushed) “Did not mean that.”

LOUIS: “Which part?”
HARRY: “That last part?”
LOUIS: “Bro?”
HARRY: “That too.”
LOUIS: “That too?”
HARRY: (flustered) “That also, also that, I didn’t, none of this.”
LOUIS: “None of this?”
HARRY: (exasperated) “What are we talking about Louis?”
LOUIS: (distant) “Nothing. Small talk.”
HARRY: (face drops) “Small talk.”
LOUIS: (on the defensive) “You’re awfully repetitive today.”
HARRY: (on the offensive) “Helps me understand better.”
LOUIS: “I bet.”
HARRY: “Are you getting that beer?”
LOUIS: “Thought you were getting it for me.”
HARRY: “Am I?”
LOUIS: “You said you would. Changed your mind?”
HARRY: “Why would I?”
LOUIS: “Why would you?”
HARRY: “But I’m repetitive…”
LOUIS: “I’m helping you understand better.”
HARRY: (sarcastic) “Thank you.”
LOUIS: (pushes off the bar) “I’m gonna say hi to Ed, see if he’ll introduce me to one of her
friends.” (fake smile) “You’ll come back with my drink?”
HARRY: (purposeful) “Will I?”
LOUIS: (walking away) “Ooh, the suspense.” (sulking all the way there, next to Ed now, putting
on a smile) “Hi mate, having fun?” (winking at the girl) “Hi.”
ED: “Hey buddy. Lost Harry to some hunk already?”

LOUIS: “What?”
ED: “This is Ellie. Ellie, my biggest fan, Louis Tomlinson.”
ELLIE: “Biggest fan?”
LOUIS: “Yup, but about Harry—“
ED: “He made me a shirt. It was very cute. Almost wore it today too but that’d be weird.”
(nudging Louis) “Right?”
LOUIS: (snaps awake from where he was trying to find Harry again) “Huh?”
ED: “The shirt.”
LOUIS: “Right, right. Made it myself. I’ll make more for a starting salary of 150K.”
ELLIE: “Steep. You’d think he weaved gold.”
ED: (laughs) “Louis hails from the dry lands of Florida.”
ELLIE: “Disney!”
LOUIS: “Yes, precisely that.” (can’t help looking back again) “Precisely…”
ED: “Louis works for Disney.”
ELLIE: “Ah. Like your ex, right, I heard that right? What a coincidence.”
ED: (grins) “I’ll tell you an even bigger one, the reveal—“ (looks at Louis) “You need a drink,
man? You keep—“
HARRY: (approaching on the other side, two beer glasses in his hands) “Anyone say drink?”
(Louis flips around, Harry hands one glass to Ed) “Love…” (lingers beside him) “Don’t think
we’ve met.”
ED: “Thank you. Thank you. And Louis?”
HARRY: (smiles at Louis who is low-key glaring at him) “Louis isn’t drinking tonight. Last night
hospitalized him.”
LOUIS: (under his breath) “Classy, Styles.”
ELLIE: (worried) “Really?”
HARRY: “No, not really. He was fine but he’s taking the day off.” (Ellie nods) “To give his liver
a break.”
ED: “You can’t argue with that.” (cheers with Harry) “To your sister.”
ELLIE: (smiling at the gesture, to Ed) “Your boyfriend?”
ED: “Ex. My lovely ex.”

ELLIE: “Ah. The famous ex. Is this the coincidence? I see now. The reveal.” (chuckles) “Harry,
no?” (Harry nods while drinking, to Ed) “He is very beautiful.”
ED: “Didn’t I tell you?”
HARRY: (smirking) “Thank you. You as well.”
ELLIE: (flattered, flirty) “Do you swing both ways too, like Eddy here?”
LOUIS: (deadpanned) “No.”
HARRY: “Yes.”
ELLIE: (happy) “Yes?”
LOUIS: (moves so he’s next to Harry) “He thought pussies were called ‘munginas’. He does not
swing both ways. He likes dick.”
ED: (raises an eyebrow) “Munginas… Why do I expect more from you?” (Harry gives him the
middle finger)
ELLIE: “Is he sure though? Because…” (grandiosely) “I have arrived to educate him.” (all but
Louis laugh) “I’ll do it for free as well, Bio 101.”
ED: (joking) “Leave it to Harry to ruin my game—“ (teasing, loud) “Like he ruined my life!”
HARRY: (laughing) “Hush, bebe, I was your life.” (to Ellie, grinning) “I am sure. Unfortunately. I
like ‘em male and distinctly aware of it.”
ELLIE: “Too bad. We could have had something. We could have been.”
HARRY: “A pity.”
LOUIS: (taunt turned bitter) “Not sure you had anything to give him, if you catch my drift.”
HARRY: (mumbled) “He means dick.”
LOUIS: (vulgarly acting it out) “Harry likes sneaking in the backdoor, if you know what I mean.”
HARRY: “He means bum. I like it up my bum.”
ELLIE: (amused) “Brand new information.”
ED: (to Ellie, aside) “Innit? Gays like it up the bum, what else has changed?”
LOUIS: (to Harry, harsh whispers) “Jumping ships, Styles?”
HARRY: “Only if I see someone else doing it. I follow, you see? Follower. I always follow.”
LOUIS: (frustrated but holding back) “Wouldn’t have picked you to be passive aggressive.”
HARRY: “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”
LOUIS: (snappy) “Where’s my drink?”

HARRY: “Where indeed?”
LOUIS: (shakes his head) “Passive aggressive.”
HARRY: (arm around Louis’ shoulders) “Darling, that’s caring. I care for you. I want you well.”
LOUIS: (shrugging his arm off) “Bitch.”
HARRY: “Again, I always follow. If I’m being one, then someone else must be…” (Ellie calls
him) “Hmm?”
ELLIE: “Ed says you know Will.”
HARRY: “Sweeny? Yeah, we used to go to school together. He was here like maybe ten seconds
ago. You know him too?”
ELLIE: “He called me over. They’re opening for me, the band.”
ED: “What you could have been.”
LOUIS: “That’s who you were with just now?”
ELLIE: (joking) “Perhaps they’ll take you back, hotshot. Then you’d get to tour like Ed.” (playing
with her eyebrows) “With me. I’d have a semester to work you, mold you all straight.” (laughing,
Harry joins) “You look good a little bent though.” (wink) “Bet Sweeny would agree.”
LOUIS: (has gone serious) “You’re big enough to have an opening act?”
HARRY: (chuckling) “Perhaps I’ll re-audition.”
ED: “Quit Disney, become the pop-star you were meant to be.”
HARRY: “Ha. Sure, sure.”
LOUIS: (has latched onto the back of Harry’s shirt without noticing) “Are you serious? Are you
actually considering this?”
HARRY: (looks at him, laughing) “Pop-star I was meant to be, right?”
LOUIS: (disguised worry) “Like hell. You’d be shit with crowds. You’re not that good a singer
anyway.”
HARRY: “You’ve never heard me sing.”
ED: “He’s very good—“
LOUIS: “Whatever.”
ED: (oblivious) “You’re very good too, Louis. No need to get mad.”
LOUIS: “I’m not mad. Why would you think I’m mad?” (obviously mad) “I’m just annoyed I have
no idea what we’re talking about.”
ED: “Harry. Singing.”

LOUIS: “Who the fuck is Will Sweeny?”
HARRY: “If you had said hi yesterday—“
ELLIE: “You sing as well, Louis?”
LOUIS: “One second, there’s like five conversations happening at the same time.”
ELLIE: (confused) “Um…”
HARRY: (wraps an arm around Louis properly, pulls him closer) “Louis is still a little tired. He
didn’t sleep well.” (whispered to Louis) “You know I wouldn’t.”
ED: (noticing, getting Ellie’s attention) “Louis’ voice gives you the shivers.”
ELLIE: “We should all sing together sometimes. Jam, as they say.”
HARRY: (caressing Louis’ back, looking at him affectionately) “I wouldn’t go anywhere without
you—“
LOUIS: (stepping away suddenly) “Get me that drink, yeah?”
HARRY: “Uh…” (hurt) “Sure.” (leaves for the bar again)
LOUIS: (pretending to keep up with the conversation that’s already going on) “What are we
talking about again?”
ED: “You.”
ELLIE: “Getting laid.”
LOUIS: (misunderstands) “Oh, no, it’s not like that with him—“
ED: “Ellie’s talking about the girls, Louis.”
LOUIS: “Hmm?”
ED: “The girls with her? Her friends?”
ELLIE: “In honor of Harry making a move, I shall help you make one as well. Which one were
you after, Louis?”
LOUIS: (frowning) “I don’t…”
ELLIE: (rolls her eyes) “Of my friends. Which one am I wingman-ing for? You came here for a
reason, right?”
LOUIS: “Harry went to get a drink.”
ELLIE: “I’m sure he did.”
LOUIS: (flips around quickly, notices Harry talking to the guy next to him at the bar) “He’s
getting a drink. He’ll be back.”
ELLIE: “Until then…the blonde, the brunette, or the curly-haired blonde?”
LOUIS: (fidgeting, hands in his pockets) “Wouldn’t want to make him awkward.”
ELLIE: (raises an eyebrow) “Why would he…” (looks at Ed, lost) “Did I…miss something?”
ED: “Nope.” (to Louis) “You better jump on this offer, Tommo. You’ll be hard-pressed to get a
better in.”
LOUIS: (not looking away from Harry) “You should probably get him.”
ED: “Get who?”
LOUIS: (looking at Ed now) “Harry. You should probably get Harry so he’s not with that guy.”
ELLIE: (sensing the tension) “I think I’ll get a drink myself. But think about it, pretty eyes.”
LOUIS: “I’d go but it’s probably better if you do anyway just in case.”
ED: “Why?”
LOUIS: “Isn’t that what people do…?” (Ed waits for an explanation) “If you ever wanna win him
back.”
ED: “I don’t wanna win him back. I’m perfectly happy as is.”
LOUIS: “He’s a catch though.”
ED: “Don’t doubt it.”
LOUIS: “You should probably like…not let him go. Fight harder and shit.”
ED: “Are we talking about me or you?”
LOUIS: “Huh?”
ED: (smiles warmly) “I don’t want to be with him, Lou. I think it’s good that he’s branching out.”
LOUIS: (nods sharply, visibly wounded) “Of course, I think that too.”
ED: “Mhmm.”
LOUIS: “I’m just worried about it, that’s all. Don’t want him ending up with the wrong person.”
ED: “Is that why you’re pushing so hard for him to be with me?”
LOUIS: “You’re the right person.”
ED: “Time has proven otherwise.”
LOUIS: “You’re his best bet.”
ED: “You can’t possibly know that.”

LOUIS: “I do. I know you so I know he’ll be happy with you.”
ED: “He wasn’t.”
LOUIS: “Then.”
ED: “He won’t be now either.”
LOUIS: “You can’t know that.”
ED: “I do know, Louis. Because I know what makes him happy now and it’s not me, bub.”
LOUIS: “You make him happy all the time. He’s told me.”
ED: (sighs) “You want to push him onto someone else because it’s becoming very clear to you
where you want him to really be and who you want him to really be with.”
LOUIS: “You.”
ED: “You.”
LOUIS: “Never.”
ED: “Right. Because of that straight thing. Because you’re straight and you’re so keen on being
straight that you’d sacrifice being happy.”
LOUIS: “Being straight makes me happy.”
ED: “Really?”
LOUIS: “I can’t be happy without.”
ED: “Can you be happy without him?”
LOUIS: (shrugs, gulps) “I can be happy being his friend, knowing he’s happy…” (licks his lips,
glances at Harry, looks away) “With someone else. I’d be happy if he was with you. Whoever he’s
with that makes him happy, I’ll be happy for him.”
ED: (realizing) “You want him to be unavailable.”
LOUIS: “Happy.”
ED: (sarcastic) “Because Harry’s track record has proven that he’s always loyal to his boyfriends
so there’d be absolutely no risk of anything happening, anything at all, especially when it involves
someone he’s deeply and secretly chasing after. You are so right, Louis. Harry has proven that
much to us.”
LOUIS: (testy) “He is loyal.”
ED: “No, he’s not. But he will be. For that one person.”
LOUIS: “That’s what I want him to find.”
ED: “Alright, but when he will, it will kill. Trust me, it will be more painful than the scars on your
thighs.”
LOUIS: (scoffs) “Spoken like a person who has no scars on his thighs.”
ED: “Spoken like a person that has scars on his heart. If that time comes, you’ll wish it was
something you could hide—something that’d stop bleeding. But watching someone you’re in love
with fall for someone else in front of your very eyes is agony, a wound that never closes fully.
Watching him look at another person the same way he looked at you—hold him like he used to
hold you…” (stops to gather himself, shakes his head) “You and Harry aren’t friends, Lou, because
friends don’t cuddle each other to sleep. And when he gets a boyfriend, you can be damn sure
those touches will be gone because someone else is gonna lay down the law and the leash will be
tight, so tight you’d be out of the picture.”
ED: “I wouldn’t let my man be someone else’s. Would you?” (looks towards the bar where
Harry’s smiling at the other boy) “Oh, look, you already have.”
Almighty
Chapter 88: Almighty
Scene 1: (4:15 am)
HARRY: (walking back to where Ed and Ellie are sitting in a booth) “Where is he?”
ED: (looks up) “Lover boy is back. Did you miss?”
ELLIE: “Too bad. I thought that one was in the bag too.”
HARRY: “Where is he?”
ELLIE: “Who?”
HARRY: “Lou. Did you let him leave? Alone?”
ED: “No, no. He’s here.” (points to his lap, Harry steps sideways to spot Louis asleep, laying on
the booth, head on Ed’s lap) “He’s taking a quick nap.”
HARRY: (worried) “Passed out? Did he drink—you made him drink?”
ED: “He’s just sleepy. He didn’t wanna go home without you so we waited.”
HARRY: (sitting in the booth, next to Louis’ legs) “Why didn’t you tell me? I could have taken
him back.” (Ed tries to touch Louis’ hair, Louis stirs, gets fussy) “Not like that.”
ED: “Huh?”
HARRY: (slides closer, removes Ed’s hand) “Don’t touch his face like that—you have to warn
him first.” (leans over, lightly touches Louis’ cheek with his knuckle first) “So he doesn’t startle.”
(slowly cups his face, voice much softer) “Hi Sleeping Beauty, ready to go home?”
LOUIS: (smiles, eyes closed, mumbled) “D’you have a boyfriend now?”
HARRY: (chuckles) “Maybe.” (slides his arm underneath Louis’ frame to pull him up) “You’re
getting heavy, huh? Mom’s feeding you too much, me thinks.”
ED: “You need help?”
HARRY: (sharp) “I have him.” (softens) “Don’t I always have you, Lou-bear?”
LOUIS: (smiles bigger as he wraps his arms around Harry’s neck) “Yes.” (nuzzles his face in
Harry’s neck) “Will he like me?”
HARRY: (picking him up with a grunt, Louis fully cuddled in his arms) “Who?”
LOUIS: “Your boyfriend.”
HARRY: (kisses his forehead once) “He might just have to.” (another kiss, Louis chuckles) “You
might just have to make him.” (to Ed) “We’re going home. Are you guys staying?”
ED: (shuffling out already) “No, no, we were waiting for you anyway. You sure you can hold him
all the way there? He can walk. He’s sleepy not wounded.”
HARRY: (holds him tighter, to Louis) “Wanna walk by yourself, darling?”
LOUIS: (blinks awake) “If you’re tired…”
HARRY: “What if I want you in my arms?”
LOUIS: (blushing) “Uh, then…” (shrugs quickly, flustered, buries his face back in Harry’s neck,
muffled whispers) “Then let me stay.”
Scene 2: (5:49 am)
HARRY: (opening his eyes with difficulty, looks at Louis who’s in bed facing him, tugging
Harry’s hair) “What time is it?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “Hasn’t been too long.”
HARRY: (yawns, blinks slowly) “Why aren’t you asleep?”
LOUIS: (small) “I was watching you.”
HARRY: “Watching me?”
LOUIS: (nods, pulls his hand back to his chest) “I was watching you be pretty.”
HARRY: (laughs) “All drool and snores, yes, my best self.”
LOUIS: “I wish we could always be like this.”
HARRY: “Hmm?”
LOUIS: “Here. I wish I could stay here forever.”
HARRY: “Move in with my mom, you mean? Do it. She loves you.”
LOUIS: (smiles) “I love her back.” (quiet) “I like having a mom.”
HARRY: “Oh, Lou…”
LOUIS: “But not that. I mean here, in bed, like this.”
HARRY: (knowing) “In the dark.”
LOUIS: (nods) “I’m such a jerk out there.” (Harry is shaking his head) “Yes, I am. You know I
am.” (cups Harry’s face again) “I’m getting worse.”
HARRY: (leaning into his touches) “You act as if that you and this you are completely—“
LOUIS: “Different? Yeah, because they are…Here I almost feel like I don’t have to exist. Beyond
this. There is no world but you.”
HARRY: “Oddly cheesy.”

LOUIS: (half-smiles) “I think you’re beautiful.” (Harry raises his eyebrows, faint blush on his
cheeks, Louis has his eyes pinned on Harry’s tattoos instead) “I wanted to say that…I said it all
wrong and I can’t stop thinking about it.” (to himself, emotional) “Fuck, I’m such a coward. I can’t
even compliment you—I’m getting worse.”
HARRY: “You like stories, right?” (Louis nods) “In quest stories with knights and missions and
dragons…” (grabs Louis’ hand, spreads both of their palms so they’re touching each other) “Every
trial the knight faces prepares him more the final battle. Purifies him, they say.”
LOUIS: “Who?”
HARRY: “The people who invented stories. It challenges the knight by providing resistance,
testing him, inside, here.” (pokes Louis’ chest, Louis smiles, pulls his hand away to touch their
palms again) “Do you know what it prepares him for?”
LOUIS: (grins) “Dragons.”
HARRY: “A final battle. The belly of the best where the biggest dragon awaits. And despite all
the little battles beforehand, this battle won’t be easy. Here…” (pushes Louis’ hand until he has to
push back to keep them in between) “Resistance is greatest. Here, the knight becomes a hero.”
LOUIS: (sad) “Or dies.”
HARRY: “Or dies but if he dies, he sacrifices himself for the greater good, and so is still a hero.”
LOUIS: (pulls his hand away) “That’s what I’ll do. When I can’t win properly, I’ll just die. At
least then I’ll still be a hero and other people can be happy.”
HARRY: (pets his hair) “Promise me you’ll try fighting first.”
LOUIS: (looks at him) “But if it doesn’t work and I die then you’ll still be happy?”
HARRY: (smiles sadly) “We should have told the Shrek story instead, at least that one makes you
laugh.”
LOUIS: “But this one I don’t know the ending to.”
Scene 3: (9:43 pm)
HARRY: (walks by, spots Louis, sitting on his bed, walks in the room) “Hey there. Was looking
for you.”
LOUIS: (sullen) “M’here…”
HARRY: (sits on the bed) “Where have you been all day?”
LOUIS: “Ed.”
HARRY: “Ah… You’ve grown quite fond of him.”
LOUIS: (nods, still not meeting his eyes) “He’s pretty amazing, yeah.”
HARRY: “He is. It’s tough not to adore him.”

LOUIS: “Yeah…” (bites the inside of his lip in thought) “He’s uh…” (shakes his head) “He’s
really…”
HARRY: “Really what? Did something happen?”
LOUIS: (closes his eyes momentarily, struggling, opens them again, pained) “I think you should
get back together with him.”
HARRY: “What?”
LOUIS: “I think you should take him back. You should be with him. Together. Date him again.”
HARRY: “Why?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “He’s amazing, like you said. He’s good for you.”
HARRY: “No, he’s not. We’re terrible together.”
LOUIS: “He can take care of you. He can give you lots of love, everything you need.”
HARRY: (hurt) “Why are you giving up on me? You think I should go back…? You think I
haven’t…been…anything—anything more than what I was?”
LOUIS: “I think you should go back because he will treat you right and I want—no, need that for
you. I need someone to treat you right.“
HARRY: “I don’t wanna be his baby anymore. I’m more than that.”
LOUIS: (bites his lip, conflicted) “I know. You are.” (against his will, voice cracking) “But maybe
it will work better this time around.” (frustrated with himself) “You’re a both better people and this
will be a better relationship. Better than the last one.”
HARRY: “But I got over the last one—“
LOUIS: “No, you haven’t.”
HARRY: (blinks) “I have. I don’t want that back.”
LOUIS: “He’ll love you like you deserve to be loved.”
HARRY: “I don’t wanna be loved like that. That didn’t work—“
LOUIS: (snaps, loud) “It will work now!”
HARRY: (flinches) “Did Ed put you up to this?”
LOUIS: “No… He doesn’t…”
HARRY: “Doesn’t what?”
LOUIS: (through grit teeth) “Doesn’t think it’s a good idea.”
HARRY: “He doesn’t want—so this is all you?”

LOUIS: (sniffling) “I want what’s best for both of you. You had a great relationship and you still
can.” (rambling, shaking) “You can’t give up on these things or they go away. If you don’t give
up, you’ll have what you want. And that’s what you want, right?”
HARRY: “No, I’m telling you it’s not.”
LOUIS: “Why wouldn’t you want someone who loves you and cares for you?”
HARRY: “I do want that but it doesn’t have to be Ed. I don’t want to want Ed just because he’s
safe—It’s not fair to him, both of us.”
LOUIS: “What do you want then?” (teary-eyed) “To suffer? To have no one? To be fucking
alone? Like me, like I am?”
HARRY: “You’re not—”
LOUIS: (furious) “Yes, I am!” (emotional) “You don’t want this life. Trust me. You have the
kindest, most beautiful soul right there and you’d be mad not to take that offer while it still stands.
You’ll regret it forever if you don’t. I’ll regret it for you. I want that for you—I want it bad—I
want you happy because you deserve it. I want you with him.”
HARRY: “But that won’t make me happy. I don’t want him anymore.”
LOUIS: “Why?”
HARRY: “Because I want someone else.”
LOUIS: (desperate) “Why?!”
HARRY: “Because I do. I can’t help it. I just do.”
LOUIS: “He’s the best you’ll ever get—He’s ama—“
HARRY: (angry finally) “If he’s so amazing, why don’t you fucking date him, Louis?! You’ve
been raving about him for ages now and you can’t seem to stop spending time with him like he’s
some godsent miracle—You’re obviously…” (pauses to breathe, can’t seem to get the words out)
“Smitten with him and his songs and his jokes and his hugs, so just date him, won’t you? Just…”
(hand goes through his hair) “Is that what you wanna hear? My permission, is that what you want
now? You want to know if I’m over him so that you can have a go—“ (Louis is so shocked he
can’t speak) “Go for it. Do it. I don’t—Do it. He’s all yours. I…” (looks down, lip bit) “I’ll give
you my blessing or whatever…”
LOUIS: “Are you nuts?” (Harry looks up) “You think I want him? Are you completely gone?”
(voice louder, squeaky in fear and panic) “I’m not gay, Harry. We’ve been over this before. I’m
not into men. I’m not into him. I won’t be dating him or any man anytime soon, you hear me?”
HARRY: (sulking) “Hear you just fine.”
LOUIS: “Then what the hell are you on about?”
HARRY: “Nothing. Just…” (shakes his head, breathes in deeply through his nose) “Just as
delusional as you, I guess.” (bitter chuckle) “Both of us trying to throw him around, like he’s some
piece of meat without a say, like…” (scoffs) “Pathetic. We’re pathetic.”
LOUIS: “Forgive me for wanting to make you happy.”
HARRY: (gets up from his bed, walks out the door) “If you want me happy, you’d do well to open
your goddamn eyes.”
LOUIS: “What is that supposed to mean—Harry!” (groans in frustration, smacks one of the
pillows) “Harry, please!” (collapses on the bed, pushes his face in the pillow, quietly) “Please,
baby…”
Scene 4: (11:30 pm)
HARRY: (walking through the kitchen, unlit cigarette between his lips, mumbled) “I’m going for a
walk.”
ANNE: (turns around from washing the dishes) “Now?”
HARRY: “Yes, I need a smoke. I’m not going far. Won’t be out long.”
ANNE: “You’re still smoking? I thought you said you’d quit three months—“
HARRY: (snappy) “Not now, mom.”
ANNE: (opens her mouth, re-thinks) “Something happened then.”
HARRY: “No.” (heading towards the door) “Just going for a walk.”
ANNE: (back to facing the sink, knowing) “Won’t Louis come with you?”
HARRY: (overly sarcastic) “Well obviously not.”
ANNE: “Alright, take it down a notch.”
HARRY: (aggravated sigh) “Sorry. I’m sorry. I’m not feeling well and that’s why I need the walk.
So I can calm down and not be a pain for everyone around who’s trying to be happy while I’m
here…” (breaking) “Swallowing my misery and my ex is hitting on my best friend.”
ANNE: “Ed’s hitting on Louis?”
HARRY: “Yes—no. I don’t…I have no idea what’s happening. No one tells me anything
anymore. I just know something’s happening because all of a sudden I’m up there, screaming and
cursing at him when for the last few months, I never as much as raised my voice. Now I constantly
find myself holding it together in front of him, in front of Ed, in front of you, Gemma…” (gulps,
afterthought) “Should have brought Zayn.”
LOUIS: (from the doorway, pissy) “Damn right you should have.”
HARRY: (looks up, stunned) “Lou, I didn’t…”
LOUIS: (walks towards him, hood on his hair, his own pack in his hands) “Save it. We both know
you’re right.”
ANNE: (when Louis is about to open the door) “Louis, honey, I’d feel better if Harry came with
you. I don’t want you lost.”
LOUIS: (forcing a polite tone and a smile) “Oh, it’s alright. I think I know my way around at this
point. I’ll just be out here.”
HARRY: (can’t help himself) “Ed’s shown him around.”
LOUIS: (frowns) “You’re being ridiculous.”
HARRY: (flips towards him) “Oh, am I? Why? Because I’m a little bit put off by the fact that the
two closest people to me want to do stuff without me all the time?”
LOUIS: (caustic) “No, see, you’re wrong because the closest person to you is Zayn, remember?”
HARRY: “Is that what you guys bond over? Is that what you have in common? How much you
both hate that I love him?”
LOUIS: (sarcastic) “Yes, all the time. That’s all we talk about. You. You are the only thing that
matters in our lives. We have no life without you actually. So when we hang out we talk about you
and how much we’re obsessed with you and how hurt we are over you choosing Zayn, terribly
hurt. Everything revolves around you, you self-centered… prick!”
HARRY: “Got that, mom?” (Louis remembers, flushes in embarrassment) “Hard not to be
honored.”
ANNE: (dries her hands) “I’m going to go check on the laundry… Leave you two alone until
you’re ready to grow up.” (walks out slowly, Louis is still blushing)
HARRY: “Ready to grow up?”
LOUIS: “No, you?”
HARRY: “No.”
LOUIS: “Cool, hit me up when you plan to.”
HARRY: (sighs in frustration) “Look.”
LOUIS: “Oh, it starts with ‘look’. It must be important then.”
HARRY: “Louis.”
LOUIS: “Harry.”
HARRY: “…I didn’t mean it to sound like that. That’s not true. I’m glad it was you. I’m glad
you’re here. I wanted you here.”
LOUIS: “Wanted. Past tense. Awesome.”
HARRY: (corrects himself) “I want you here.” (struggles) “It’s just a little hard for me right
now… I’m in a bit of a predicament.”
LOUIS: “What predicament? What the hell is your predicament, Styles? That you have two people
care about you so much they get jealous when you still want someone on the other side of the
world because we’re not good enough?”
HARRY: “I’m jealous! Like you. Because of you. Because you hit it off with him and it’s obvious.
The walls fell down so quickly between you two and I feel like shit—I feel ill with jealousy. I can’t
fall asleep at night. I can’t help myself.”
LOUIS: “I’m not going to take him from you…”
HARRY: “It’s not that, you idiot. It’s you!” (Louis gapes) “I’m obsessed with you. You’re
absolutely brilliant and—and everything I want in life and I’m just a nobody and you’re making
friends and replacing me and I feel so hurt. It hurts so much to not be good enough and I knew it all
along, because I look at you and I’m lucky you even talked to me in the first place so I knew that
some day… It just hurts. I want to fight for you because I just feel like I have a shot, that’s all.
There’s probably others out there, much better for you but, but I want to be in the game too, that’s
all.”
LOUIS: (awed) “Harry…”
HARRY: (crying softly, just tears, no sounds) “I get it. He’s… I get it. I dated him. I know. I’d
pick him over me too, any time. I get it… But I’m so hurt because I can’t help but want you all to
myself and I’m territorial, you know that, I’m bad at this. So I see you with him and how he makes
you laugh and I’m beyond myself with jealousy.” (sobs once, covers his mouth with his hand,
embarrassed) “I’m sorry.”
LOUIS: “Don’t be.”
HARRY: “I didn’t mean for this to happen… We were having fun and now, I ruined it all.”
LOUIS: (sad) “I did. These past few days, I was the one who kept ruining it. I mess things up—I
made you cry again…” (walks towards him, wraps his arms around Harry’s waist) “I promised
myself I’d never do that…”
HARRY: (hugs him, face in Louis’ neck) “I made myself cry. None of this is your fault.”
LOUIS: (small) “It is my fault. All of it.”
HARRY: “How? How would my insecurities be your fault?”
LOUIS: “You’re my best friend. And the fact that you even think you’re the lucky one—that
I’d…replace you, that there’d be a day where I woke up, not wanting to be next to you all the time,
means I have failed. I keep saying dumb stuff. I keep hurting you…”
HARRY: “No, no…” (sniffles, wipes his face on the back of his hand) “I’m dumb. This is
dumb…” (snorts) “I’m being dumb and I’m—I’m getting ahead of myself. And it’s dumb. I know
it is. I know… I’m just confused.”
LOUIS: “Right. With…everything that’s happened.”
HARRY: “Yeah, Ed and stuff. And Gemma getting married tomorrow and all those together, all
you together. I’m emotionally exhausted.”
LOUIS: (swallowing) “Right. No, yeah. I get it. I don’t blame you. It’s been quite the week. I’m
sorry I made it worse. I was supposed to be here for support and here I am calling you names in
front of your mother. What the hell kind of guest am I?”
HARRY: (half smile) “One of a kind, that’s for sure.” (shakes his head) “Don’t worry. She’s said
worse. She gets it.”
LOUIS: “Tough to be believe because I don’t, to be honest. I don’t get what happened and what
we argued about… I don’t get why it’s been difficult between us. Feels like we’re on different
pages.”
HARRY: (almost breaking, Louis notices, frowns) “Like I said…confused, overwhelmed.”
LOUIS: “You can go with that… or you could tell me the truth.”
HARRY: (looks at him sadly) “I already told you the truth. You already know the truth.”
LOUIS: “Tell me again. I’m ready now—”
HARRY: (sighs, turns towards the door to walk out) “Maybe later…” (opens the door, cigarette
in his mouth) “Don’t wait up for me.”
Scene 5: (1:20 am)
LOUIS: (tossing and turning in Harry’s bed, alone, can’t sleep, frustrated, turns towards his side,
fifteen minutes later hears Harry come in, doesn’t turn to face him) “Thought you slept in the guest
room…”
HARRY: (under his breath) “Crap.” (louder) “You scared me… You’re awake? I told you not to
wait.”
LOUIS: “I told you I have insomnia.”
HARRY: “Ah…” (shuffling is heard as he undresses) “Is it bad tonight?”
LOUIS: (half-shrugs) “What do you expect? Over-worrying loves drama.”
HARRY: “I’m sorry…”
LOUIS: (clipped) “You coming to bed or sleeping in the guest room?”
HARRY: (sits on the bed, just in boxers) “I’d like to cuddle you if you don’t mind. I’ve had a shit
day and I just chain-smoked about four ciggies and my throat feels like smoke—“
LOUIS: (holding back a smile) “You smell like smoke too.”
HARRY: “I bet. I bet I stink of it, stunk up the room. Too tired to shower though.” (settles in
beside Louis, turns so he can pull Louis to his chest, spooning him) “Too tired to do anything but
sleep…and cuddle my kitten” (nuzzles him, takes a deep breath of Louis’ hair) “You always smell
so good…”
LOUIS: (blushes, smiling fully now) “You always love to cuddle me…”
HARRY: (sounding more tired with every sentence) “Mhmm…”
LOUIS: (gets more comfortable by leaning back on Harry, snuggling in his embrace) “Tell me a
story…”
HARRY: “Now?”
LOUIS: “To help me sleep… Short story. Insomnia story.”
HARRY: “Alright…” (eyes closed, holding him tighter) “Once upon a time…”
LOUIS: (closes his eyes too) “Yeah?”
HARRY: “There were two stupid boys.”
LOUIS: (whispered, smiling big) “Ooh, I like it already.”
HARRY: “The boys were so stupid, they kept hurting each other stupidly.”
LOUIS: “And then?”
HARRY: “And then one day they realized that there was nothing to fight about, that they were
actually very happy together and they should stop being stupid so they can see it.”
LOUIS: (grabs one of Harry’s arms, pulls it to his chest to cuddle it, threads their fingers, kisses
Harry’s knuckles, tiredly) “And then?”
HARRY: (yawning, buries his nose further in Louis’ hair) “And then I fall asleep and dream about
eating you like the peach that you smell.”
LOUIS: (snorts sleepily, yawns as well, settled) “Okay. Tell me the rest tomorrow. I sleep now.”
HARRY: “Sleep tight, my little fuzzy. Sweet dreams.”
Scene 6: (2:10am)
HARRY: (laying back on his bed, Louis sprawled on top of him, face on Harry’s chest, sleeping
soundly) “If I’m gonna be quite honest…” (whispering against Louis’ hair, caressing the locks
fondly) “If you wanna quite know the truth…” (gulps, shaky on the confession, almost silent) “I
quite love you, you jerk…” (teary-eyed, watching Louis snore) “I’m quite in love with you.”
Alice
Chapter 89: Alice
Scene 1
“You know I’d fall apart without you, I don’t know how you do what you do.”
LOUIS: (sleepily walking into the kitchen, hair fluffy, eyes glued shut, wearing one of Harry’s
shirts, mumbles) “Hazza?”
ANNE: (stops cooking to greet him) “Good morning, honey. Harry went to the bakery real quick
to grab the pastries. He’ll be back soon. You want breakfast?”
LOUIS: (yawns, rubs his eyes) “Am I late? Did I wake up late? Has everyone arrived?”
ANNE: (smiles) “It’s only ten. You could have slept in more if you wanted.”
LOUIS: “Harry left.”
ANNE: (pulls out a chair for Louis to sit down) “He woke up really early and was pacing around
so I sent him to run a few errands to get rid of him. Everyone’s stressed before the wedding. Eggs
Benedict?”
LOUIS: “Harry makes those for me Sundays. Yours are probably better.”
ANNE: “Probably. I am the superior cook in this household.” (continues cooking as Louis breaks
chunks of toast and puts them in his mouth) “Did you sleep well?”
LOUIS: “Mhmm. I’m sorry about yesterday. It slipped out and…” (frowns to himself) “And it was
unnecessary. We don’t argue like that ever. I don’t call him names. That was out of the ordinary.”
(scrunches his nose in thought) “Normally we just fight over which movie to watch and I forcefully
pet him as payback for choosing the wrong one.”
ANNE: “Forceful petting seems like the perfect punishment for that sort of thing.” (brings him a
mug of tea) “If you thought I’d flinch at the word ‘prick’ you’ll have to try harder to make me
unlove you…” (pets his head) “Favorite son.”
LOUIS: (smiles thankfully, sips on the tea) “Is Harry mad?”
ANNE: “Let’s see. What does mad Harry look like?”
LOUIS: (thinks on it, shrugs) “He avoids me so I don’t know. I don’t like when he does that. I’d
rather have him scream. When he screams, he gets tired so then I snuggle him and bribe him with
ice cream. If he leaves, often I don’t see him for a few days and just bribe myself with ice cream.”
ANNE: “Are you sure you’re not dating?”
LOUIS: (blushes) “Only the ice cream. Occasionally I cheat on it with rice pudding.”
ANNE: “Harry’s not mad. If anything he seemed more reluctant than usual to leave you alone. Did
you guys fight again last night?”
LOUIS: (shakes his head, cup between both palms) “No, we talked it out. There was nothing to
fight about. He gets jealous when I hang out with Ed. I get jealous when he hangs out with anyone
but Ed. It’s confusing. I don’t get it myself. I just go along and hope for the best.”
ANNE: (back turned towards him, cooking) “What would the best be? Hypothetically?”
LOUIS: (immediately) “He’s happy.” (afterthought) “We’re both happy.” (quieter) “Probably.”
ANNE: (places the plate in front of him) “I’ll tell what I think the best is. You keep visiting us and
become part of the family and come over for Christmas so we can properly celebrate your birthday
with hugs and cheap beer. How does that sound?”
LOUIS: (looks at the eggs, touched, small) “Sounds nice.” (then, pursing his lips) “Sounds like I’d
probably be a burden.”
ANNE: (hand on his shoulder) “Don’t ever think you’re not welcome here, Louis. This past week
you’ve brought us so much joy. Harry’s the happiest I have ever seen him even factoring in last
night’s fight. He’s bubbly and excited and talks about work and perhaps going back to college. And
you.” (Louis looks up) “He doesn’t stop talking about you because you’ve become so important to
him and therefore so important to all of us.” (smiles at him) “We’ll always be here for you, okay?
No matter what. I’m sure Ed has told you once you’re part of this family, you never get to leave.”
Scene 2
“Cause everything that don’t make sense about me, makes sense when I’m with you.”
HARRY: (pre-ceremony, everyone’s standing around the outside of Harry’s house, all decorated
for the event, Ed and Harry linger alone in the Harry’s room, looking out the window) “This could
have been us.”
ED: “Aren’t you glad it wasn’t?”
HARRY: “I wouldn’t put it that way. I mean, that’s like saying we wouldn’t have been good for
each other if I hadn’t gone and messed it up. We could have been awesome, very happy…”
ED: “I suppose we could. We loved each other. We got each other’s jokes. We could poop while
the other was showering. All that couply stuff.”
HARRY: (grins) “Showering? Brushing teeth.”
ED: (smiles) “But it was for the best. Imagine having Louis at our wedding.”
HARRY: (looks outside at Louis who is avidly telling stories to a group of children, acting them
out) “Yeah, imagine. The dildo would have gotten wasted on champagne before the speeches
ended.”
ED: “Then he’d probably be shoved up your ass deep enough to hit a kidney by the time the live
music started.”
HARRY: (turns towards him in mock horror) “Edward.”
ED: “What, you said dildo?” (smirks) “And let’s face it, he’d fit tight and cozy—“
HARRY: (hushes him) “Don’t taint me with your sketchy fantasies, please. All my thoughts are
pure.”
ED: (knowing) “So, when are you gonna propose? Because I’m thinking he’s the type to be
proposed to, not make that first move.”
HARRY: “Right. I value my life, thank you very much.”
ED: “Yeah, yeah, but give me a heads up so I write your song, eh?”
HARRY: “It’s already been written. It’s called, ‘Stockholm Syndrome’ by One Direction.”
ED: (snorts, shakes his head) “Can’t believe you listen to that garbage.”
HARRY: “Comes on the radio on my way to work.”
ED: (both chuckle, look out the window some more in silence) “Do you trust me?”
HARRY: “If you’re crazy enough to ask that, what you’re about to suggest must be even more
insane.”
ED: “It sort of is, yeah.” (Harry looks at him expectantly, Ed clear his throat) “I think you should
date around, real dates, take men out, show them what they’re missing.”
HARRY: (rolls his eyes) “You mean well. I get it. But—“
ED: “Harry, I know you love him but this is where that trust thing comes in.”
HARRY: (pouty) “I don’t love him.”
ED: (not believing it for a second) “Alright, even better. Then why not date?”
HARRY: “I’m not ready.”
ED: “Harry…”
HARRY: “Someone hasn’t come up. What do you want me to do, go searching for a future
boyfriend? I’m not that desperate to have one. I’ve been chilling and nothing’s come up.”
ED: “You think something will with Louis draped over your lap like a Persian rug?”
HARRY: “Probably not, truth to be said.”
ED: “But you don’t care.”
HARRY: (shrugs) “I don’t need a boyfriend to survive. Unlike you, I can be perfectly happy
single.”
ED: “Is that what you are right now, single?”
HARRY: “Yup, all single.”
ED: “And happy?”
HARRY: “Perfectly.”
ED: “You don’t miss sex?”
HARRY: (falters) “I…who doesn’t? Sex is great.”
ED: “You don’t miss heavy cuddling and hand holding and someone who will lean over the
restaurant table to peck your lips?”
HARRY: (shrugs) “It’s nice to have that.”
ED: “But you don’t miss it. You’re perfectly happy as is.”
HARRY: “What are you getting at? I should date around just because I want someone to kiss? I
should use some poor sap as a vessel for my sexual frustration. That doesn’t sound like you.”
ED: “I said trust me—“
HARRY: “And I am!”
ED: (opens his mouth, shakes his head) “Forget I brought it up. It was a random thought anyway.
Probably stupid. You’re right. That’d be bad. Don’t date because I tell you, or anyone for that
matter. Do what feels right for you.”
HARRY: (face falls) “No, don’t do that. Just speak openly. Whether I take your advice or not is
my decision but give it anyway.”
ED: “Do you think Hunter’s attractive?”
HARRY: “Your friend? The wedding singer?”
ED: “Yeah, not that he’s asked about you, I’m just trying to make a point that before this you’d
have at least looked at these boys, had some fire in you to go up and flirt—“
HARRY: (snappy) “Before this I was too busy pining after you, Ed.”
ED: (under his breath) “And fucking Zayn on the side.”
HARRY: (flushes) “That was once goddammit!”
ED: “Alright. Before this you were pining after me and before that pining after Zayn and now
you’re pining after Louis and that’s what you do, you pine—You pine and you chase and you sulk
and I’m just trying to break you off this useless habit, especially because pining won’t do it this
time and it’s making you irritable.”
HARRY: “Pining did it for you.”
ED: “Won’t do it for him.”
HARRY: “Because he’s straight.”
ED: “Because he needs a man, not a puppy.”
HARRY: (sarcastic) “Oh yeah, I should probably just go in there and swoop him into a manly
kiss.”
ED: “It’d be better than this wait.”
HARRY: “That’d be giving him something he doesn’t want.”
ED: “Make him want it. Show him what he’s missing.”
HARRY: “I’m not making him do anything. That’s disgusting—“
ED: “You think I’d ever suggest that?”
HARRY: “You are now.”
ED: “I’m telling you to move on—at least pretend to be looking at your options, at least pretend
there’s a game to be played. You like chasing and maybe he does too but you’re giving him no
room constantly pressed behind his ass, ready to lick it clean. When did I make a move on you?”
HARRY: “When I went to homecoming with someone else. That was high school—I’m done
playing games.”
ED: “I’m done watching you get hurt so you can feel sorry for yourself. You and I both know
Hunter’s your type. You and I both know you’d have openly checked him out even if we were still
together because that’s what normal people do, the wonder. They don’t obsess.”
HARRY: “You brought him in to tempt me?”
ED: “I brought him in because he’s a good singer and a good friend who’d do it for free. But if he
did tempt you maybe that’s doing double duty.” (Harry tries to leave, Ed grabs his arm, keeps him
there, sighing) “Harry, I like him. Louis is every bit as worthy of being loved as you described and
he’s charming and completely taken with you. It will work out but some things take time and I’d
advise you to use that time wisely.”
HARRY: “By dicking around?”
ED: “Exactly. Because you know when he’s ready he’ll be it so why not get those last few
fantasies out of your system now before you’re tied down forever? Who knows, you might do
yourself a favor.”
HARRY: (not serious) “If this doesn’t sound like sabotage I don’t know what does.”
ED: “That’s why I asked if you trusted me enough to take care of you one last time.”
HARRY: (smiles sadly) “God, I don’t know if you’ll ever fully understand how much I loved
you.” (places his hand on Ed’s neck, pulls him forward so they’re foreheads are touching) “No
matter what happens, there won’t be any one like you in the world. You were my first and that’s
yours forever.” (emotional, caressing Ed’s face with his thumb) “And despite how messed up I was
and despite what I felt for Zayn, which was real and there…” (Ed closes his eyes) “Never doubt
that I loved you with all my heart and a part of me will never stop loving you and all of me will
never be happy if you’re not in my life. I’m not whole without you.”
ED: (warps his arms around Harry, kisses his temple) “I’d be nothing without you, the good, the
bad and the Zayn, though the bastard is anything but ugly. You gave me the confidence to start
singing. You gave me the songs.” (pulls back to look at him) “Wherever in the world I sing them,
you’ll be there. And the first song will always be yours.”
HARRY: (kisses his neck, voice low) “One last time?”
ED: (already pushing him towards the bed, hands unbuttoning the rest of his shirt) “For old time’s
sake.”
HARRY: (kissing his mouth, moaning) “Make it good.” (falls back on the bed, Ed climbs on top of
him, kisses down his neck to his chest, Harry closes his eyes, cheeky) “Might be the last fuck you
give.”
ED: (breathy chuckle, sucks on one of Harry’s nipples, Harry shivers) “Might not make it to that
stage if we play too long.” (raises his head, concerned) “You’re not prepped.”
HARRY: (running his fingers through Ed’s hair) “I’ll enjoy the burn. It’ll distract me.”
ED: (kisses him again, rocking their crotches together, whispers) “I won’t be too angry if you
moan his name.”
HARRY: (smirks, biting Ed’s lip) “Then I won’t try too hard not to.”
Scene 3
“Like everything that’s green, girl, I need you. But it’s more than one and one makes two.”
HARRY: (standing up, giving his speech) “When Gemma first told me she was getting married I
have to admit, a part of me wanted to cry because I always thought I’d be the first to get married
and there she was, first to graduate, first to marry, first to be the perfect child mom always wanted.”
(Gemma and Anne laugh) “But as I look at the despicable face of my ex fiancee right there.”
(points at Ed who rolls his eyes) “I’m like, oh thank you god, you have saved me from a lifetime of
looking at that when I wake up.” (all laugh) “My point is, I’m the important one in this wedding
and this should all be about me and my love story and how I used to be in love and I’m in love
again—“ (stops himself, blushes, others coo, Ed pretends to faint) “And somewhere in this speech I
was supposed to wish Gemma a happy life but—“
LOUIS: (stands up from beside him, takes the microphone) “What Harry means to say is he is
happy to be here and he’s happy to see Gemma happy.” (Harry nods along, looking at him fondly,
relieved, the flush slowly fading away) “Because it has given him the strength to believe in love
again and realize that it can work out for the best and that sometimes people are genuinely nice and
genuinely deserve each other.” (people clap) “I also wrote this speech and Harry ruined it. Thank
you for feeling bad for me. I’ll accept condolences in shape of hundred dollar bills.” (makes to sit,
stands again) “Happy life to the bride and groom.” (sits down)
HARRY: (holding the microphone) “Uh, yeah. That was a duet performance. I love you, sister.
You have the right to ruin my wedding too. I expect babies soon. Do I sit now?” (looks around,
Anne nods) “I sit down?”
LOUIS: (pulls him by his shirt so he’s sat again) “That’ll do, hotshot.”
HARRY: “Thank you for listening.” (someone takes the microphone and passes it to one of
Gemma’s friends who starts speaking, Harry fixes his shirt, whispers to Louis) “That went we—“
LOUIS: “Horribly. You ruined us.”
HARRY: “I thought people liked it. I thought I did well.” (doubting himself) “I should have
practiced more.”
LOUIS: (patting his knee, letting his hand sit on it) “You did as well as that time you asked Sandy
out.”
HARRY: (beams) “So really good then?”
LOUIS: (cringes while smiling) “Yup. Really good, you dork.” (Harry keeps grinning, turns back
towards the event, Louis hesitates before whispering) “I’m really proud of you, love.”
Scene 4
“Put aside the math and the logic of it. You gotta know you’re wanted too.”
LOUIS: (all sitting around the tables as the singer preps, Louis leans over to whisper to Harry)
“You slept with him.”
HARRY: (leaning back to make room for Louis) “Hmm?”
LOUIS: “You and Ed.”
HARRY: “What if I did?”
LOUIS: “Was it good?”
WEDDING PERSON: “And now, for the bride and groom’s first dance.” (clapping follows, song
starts)
HARRY: (turns towards him, almost insulted) “That’s the first thing you ask?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “What, that’s the bro thing to do, right?”
HARRY: (looking ahead at Gemma and her husband dancing) “How’d you figure it out? He told
you?”
LOUIS: “Guessed as much. You came out, sweaty, flushed, lips red, legs wide. I figured he’d take
my advice.” (quiet) “Would be a fool not to.” (clipped, disguising genuine hurt) “Back with him
then?”
HARRY: “Nope. Goodbye sex. It is forever out of my system.” (smiling) “I feel so good knowing
it wasn’t the same. It was good but not the same, not feeling like I kissed the sun. Feels good to be
over it.”
LOUIS: (scoffs) “What they all say.”
HARRY: “Why would I lie to you? If we wanted to keep doing it, we could. We don’t tease each
other. We don’t play Red Rover.”
LOUIS: “Don’t you like teasing?” (lower, provoking) “Don’t you like being called over?
HARRY: (shifting in his seat so their thighs touch) “Tease too long, it starts to hurt.”
LOUIS: “What’s pleasure without a little pain on the side?”

HARRY: “Not worth cherishing.” (grins, looks at him, mouths) “I love you.”
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes) “You gonna sing along with him now, feta cheese?”
HARRY: “It is awfully appropriate.” (Louis rolls his eyes again, this time blushing)
HUNTER: (finishing the song) “And I just wanna wrap you up, wanna kiss your lips, I wanna
make you feel wanted. And I wanna call you mine, wanna hold your hand forever, and never let
you forget it. Yeah, I wanna make you feel wanted. Baby, I, I wanna make you feel…wanted.”
Alpha
Chapter 90: Alpha
Scene 5
“As good as you make me feel, I wanna make you feel better.”
HARRY: (walks up to the stage where Hunter is packing up) “Hey.”
HUNTER: (looks up, coiling a microphone) “Hi.”
HARRY: “You were great.”
HUNTER: (smiles) “Thank you. I’m glad people enjoyed it. I was told Ed was their first choice so
expectations ran high.”
HARRY: “Yeah, Ed’s good.”
HUNTER: “He’s great. You know him?”
HARRY: (awkward) “I…uh, my ex. We used to…yeah.”
HUNTER: “Oh, oh…Harry. I should have guessed.” (shakes his head) “I should have guessed you
were his type—beautiful, hipster boys with tats on their naked chests who wear scarves to
weddings.”
HARRY: (fidgets with the ends of his scarf, bites his lip) “And yours? What’s your type?”
HUNTER: (grins) “Anyone who’ll have me. I’m not picky. I give everyone a shot.”
HARRY: “I will. Have you.” (Hunter cocks his head sideways) “If you want, if you’re free
sometime, like tomorrow, or if you’d want to go somewhere, as a date, before you leave town. We
could get ice cream.”
HUNTER: “Wait, you’re asking me out?”
HARRY: (shrugs) “If you’ll have me.”
HUNTER: (stunned) “Oh…I…”
HARRY: “I mean it’s alright if you won’t. Don’t feel pressured. It’s completely chill. Don’t do it
out of respect for Gemma or Ed.”
HUNTER: “No, no, I mean, it’s not that at all, I just…” (sheepish) “I’m not gonna lie for a second
I thought it was your wedding.”
HARRY: (snorts) “Gemma’s my sister. We don’t marry siblings in this family.”
HUNTER: “I didn’t think you were marrying her, dummy.” (Harry seems lost, Hunter shrugs)
“The blue-eyed boy next to you. You were staring at him the entire performance and I figured you
were either married or soon to be because hell, you looked at him like the sun shined out his ass,
which with those pants he’s wearing it might as well, but the point I’m making is I could
practically hear the monologue in your head…” (acting it out) “He’s so cute.” (exaggerated sigh)
“Look at my cute husband being cute.” (another sigh) “You get the gist.”
HARRY: (blushes bright red, caught) “You mean Louis—oh, god no—“ (chokes) “No. That’s…
out of the question—He doesn’t marry—Not me, he isn’t my… He wouldn’t.” (forced chuckle)
“Louis is a friend—He’s straight. He’s not into these stuff, like marriages and me.”
HUNTER: (knowing) “Ahhh…” (pause) “Are you sure?”
HARRY: “That he’s not my husband? You think I’d be here talking you up if he was—“ (winces)
“Sorry, that sounded offensive. I didn’t mean it like that—You’re a catch, I’m trying to catch you
—I’m just saying he’s obviously amazing and if…I’m only making this worse, aren’t I? I should
probably just go sulk next to the drinks table—Good idea.“ (hand in his hair) “God.”
HUNTER: “That’s adorable.”
HARRY: (embarrassed) “Go on a date with me. I’m better on dates. I’m not as tipsy for one and
will actually manage a conversation. Ed says you’re a really good guy and I trust his judgment. I
wanna get to know you.”
HUNTER: (amused) “Catch me?”
HARRY: “If you wanna be caught.”
HUNTER: (seems torn) “I don’t know…”
HARRY: “A date, I’ll pay. No expectations.”
HUNTER: “No, that’s sweet and stuff but your not-boyfriend is already giving me the death glare
so I’m scared he’s gonna cut me up and run a lawnmower through my insides if I say yes.”
HARRY: (turns around to look at Louis, who is sitting on the table, pointedly staring at his
phone) “He’s chill, look. Didn’t even notice.”
HUNTER: “Cute. The way you dance around each other but—“
HARRY: “He wants me to date. I’m serious. He wants me to do this. With you. I’ll prove it to
you.” (loud) “Lou!” (Louis raises his eyes, Harry motions him over) “Come here a minute.”
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes) “I’m not a dog, you know?”
HARRY: (smiles warmly) “No, you’re my puppy. Come. Say hi to Hunter.”
LOUIS: (slowly gets up from his chair, small smile on his face) “I feel used…” (approaching, to
Hunter) “He only gets the puppy to seduce women at the park but never feeds it and throws it in
the river when it grows up to be a dog. Then gets another puppy.”
HUNTER: (confused) “What?”
HARRY: (laughing, wraps an arm around Louis when Louis is next to him) “Louis likes to be
metaphoric because he was a literary major.”
LOUIS: “Metaphorical. Literature.”

HARRY: “Prime example.” (to Louis) “Tell Hunter we’re not married so he can jump in my
arms.”
LOUIS: “We’re most definitely married. Been so for about seven months. Before we went on
dates and before that I was mean to him and hit him with Starbursts.”
HUNTER: “Told you.”
HARRY: (flushed) “Louis.”
LOUIS: “What, we are. You’re my wife.” (to Hunter) “We live together. He makes me food and
pets my hair so I fall asleep. Sometimes he cuddles me really tight and keeps me warm. Other times
he lets me sleep on his chest. Is that not married?”
HUNTER: “That’s pretty married if you ask me.”
HARRY: (hand on his face) “Alright, maybe we’re married but weren’t you the one to tell me to
date around?”
LOUIS: “I told you to date Ed.”
HUNTER: “But I’m replacement Ed, low-cost version.”
LOUIS: (tries to not chuckle to make a point of hating Hunter) “You wanna date Harry, is that it?”
HUNTER: “He wants to date me, let’s get that straight, like you.” (winks at Louis who sneers
back) “I’m here for the curls not the death so if you need to kill someone, I’d start with Harry…
and probably Ed because this looks like an Ed idea to me.”
LOUIS: (snappy) “You’d know.”
HUNTER: (amused) “I would. Ed’s my roommate. Unlike you and curly-boy here, we’ve made
our marriage official. I do the dishes and take out the trash and clean the living room and Ed does
nothing since he’s too busy making me and Sam miserable. Sam’s our other roommate. We found
each other on craigslist because Ed was selling Harry’s ferrets buy one get one free after they
broke up.”
HARRY: (worried) “He sold my ferrets?”
LOUIS: (makes a face) “You had ferrets—“ (to Hunter) “And you live with Ed—what?”
HUNTER: “Don’t worry I have them. I’ve called them Marcus and Lady.”
HARRY: “You can’t call them Marcus and Lady—for one, they’re both boys—and they had
names—I can’t believe Ed didn’t sell them with names! I can’t believed he sold them. Those ferrets
were my life. They’re called Willy and Wonka.”
HUNTER: “That’s dumb. He had to sell them. They’re illegal in New York.”
HARRY: “No one has to know that. Ugh, you’re no rebel, I misjudged you—no date for you.”
HUNTER: “No date for me, then no meeting Marcus and Lady, though I took them back home
where my mother dresses them up and takes pictures every year for Thanksgiving. It’s lots of fun.
Come visit sometime.” (looks at Louis) “You can bring your present-day ferret.”
LOUIS: “How about I bring my fist to your throat?”
HARRY: “Lou…”
HUNTER: (laughs) “Ed said you were fiery. I’m serious, both of you should visit the city. We
have an air mattress. It’s a double but I guess you’re used to sleeping together.”
LOUIS: (to Harry) “Either ask him out or let me kill him because I can’t deal with this purgatory.”
HARRY: “We do sleep together though—“
LOUIS: “He doesn’t mean it like that!”
HARRY: “Like what then?”
LOUIS: “He means we sex together.”
HARRY: (smirks) “Don’t we do that too since you’re my hubby?”
LOUIS: (frustrated, blushing) “Ugh!” (turns to Hunter) “You’re not what I asked for—Walmart
Ed!” (starts walking back to the table)
HUNTER: “Walmart Ed… I should change my stage name.”
HARRY: (staring at Louis as he sits back down, looks at Harry, makes eye contact, gives him a
subtle middle finger, goes back to his phone, Harry sighs, sheepish) “Sorry…” (looks at Hunter)
“But, see? Not dating. Completely single.”
HUNTER: “The only thing I see is the scoliosis you’ll get from sleeping on the couch for the next
year.” (starting to pack his guitar) “How about this? When you have an actual wedding you’ll call
me to sing for that too and tip me extra since I saw it coming from a mile away.”
HARRY: (grins) “I won’t spare any expenses for my wedding so I’ll get the real deal, Walmart
Ed.”
HUNTER: (chuckles) “If you come to New York and you’re really single, we’ll go to the MOMA
where you can give me hipster speeches about how shit in vases demonstrates the state of our
fragmented humanity. Until then, I will cuddle your ferrets and dream about cuddling your…”
(eyes Harry’s pants quickly) “Ferret.”
HARRY: (smiles) “For all it’s worth, I’m the one missing out.”
HUNTER: “If you’re referring to dating that sassy model you brought here, then yes, I agree.”
Scene 6
“Better than your fairytale, better than your best dreams.”
LOUIS: (standing next to the drinks table, looks at Hunter approach, raises an eyebrow) “Can I
help you?”
HUNTER: (pouring himself a drink) “Can I help myself to a drink, or are you the guardian of the
alcohol?” (sipping on the drink) “You know I’m not the first or the last.”
LOUIS: “Failed musician turned wedding singer? No, you’re most definitely not.”
HUNTER: “Failed musician looking to apply for a job as a Disney mascot.”
LOUIS: “They wouldn’t have you. You look like a man-face on a child’s body. Sid did some
tricks on you.”
HUNTER: “I’ll forgive the insult because it was a Toy Story reference.”
LOUIS: “I’ll forgive you talking to me because you got said reference.”
HUNTER: “I’ll forgive you pretending you don’t like talking to me because you’re pretty to stare
at.”
LOUIS: “I’ll forgive you not being pretty to stare at because…actually, no, I don’t forgive that.
Move.”
HUNTER: (snorts) “I’m not the first or last potential spouse-stealer.”
LOUIS: “Haz and I are not really married if you didn’t catch that. I was joking. Sometimes people
joke for a laugh or two, you know? A chuckle? Humor? Things us brits have and you Americans
never seem to get?”
HUNTER: “I was actually talking about stealing Gemma from her husband because I’m super
macho straight, no homo here, just a dude bro making love eyes at his dude bro friend during a
love song and sneakily holding his hand under the table—“
LOUIS: “He was holding my hand!”
HUNTER: “And you were getting emotional and soft and teary-eyed, you know why, because you
freaking want him and he wants you back and you two just need to get married so I can get another
damned gig and pay my rent this month.”
LOUIS: (distant, rehearsed) “These jokes about us were funny at the start but now they’re just
annoying, and affecting our friendship.”
HUNTER: “Oh for hell’s sake—“ (pouring more champagne on his glass) “Don’t speak. You’ll
make me vomit. I need to get this drink and leave.”
LOUIS: “People assuming we’re together is only making me not wanna be myself around him and
touch him like that—“
HUNTER: “Don’t speak.”
LOUIS: (furious) “What’s it to you what we are? If I say I’m straight you have to respect it.”
HUNTER: (starts walking away with the glass) “Fine. Whatever you say but know you got lucky
this time because the next I won’t be so lenient. He’s every gay man’s dream and if you come visit
and haven’t made a move yet, my claws will be so deep in perfect, little body, you’ll need pliers to
pull me out. I’m only fair once.”
Scene 6
“You’re more than everything I need.”

LOUIS: (in the veranda of Harry’s house, away from the party, smoking) “You told Harry to date
Hunter?”
ED: “I didn’t say it in those words.”
LOUIS: “But you set it up.”
ED: “I know Hunter’s a good kid and what you said got me thinking. He needs someone nice and
if I’m not up for it…” (shrugs) “I guess what I’m trying to say is, I had to try so I didn’t feel
guilty.” (Louis nods, looking down) “Why? You don’t like him?”
LOUIS: “He’s okay.”
ED: “He told me you went off on him. Several times.”
LOUIS: “I was joking. I always joke. He’s nice enough, sings like you, likes ferrets, would get
along with Harry.” (blowing out smoke) “Long distance though, tough.”
ED: (smirking) “You’re not threatened because—“
LOUIS: “Because why should I be?”
ED: “Because Hunter won’t be sleeping in Harry’s bed anyway for the majority of the time. Your
life would change zit, nada. And still you fluffed up your feathers and put him in his place.”
LOUIS: (half-smile) “I did not put him in his place. I simply removed him from mine. Gently.”
ED: “Yours being? Harry’s bed?”
LOUIS: “Harry’s number one.”
ED: “Ha, you’d need a scalpel to remove Zayn from that.”
LOUIS: “A scalpel for Zayn. Pliers for Hunter. A chainsaw for you, probably.”
ED: “You’re slowly becoming the toolshed you aspired to be. Congrats, it matches your
personality.”
LOUIS: “How was Harry’s ass?”
ED: (unfazed) “Tight as always. Way tight. Squeezed every last drop out of me.”
LOUIS: “Gross.”
ED: “Uh-huh. I’m sure. So gross, you probably need to shower. Take care of your boner while
you’re there too.”
LOUIS: “Ha-ha. I’ll get you to do it for me.”
ED: “Bro.”
LOUIS: “Bro.”
ED: (grins) “I’m slowly realizing that I won’t forgive myself if I never take away your boy-kiss
virginity.” (grabs Louis’ face, plants a big, fat butterfly kiss on Louis’ surprised lips) “There, you
are now deflowered.”
LOUIS: (laughs, wipes at his lips) “As if you’d be the first one, firecrotch.” (Ed cocks his head,
Louis stumbles to recover) “I went to college, you know?”
ED: (buys it) “Ah. College, the gayest place on earth where stuff like touching someone’s genitals
is disguised as no homo, all bromo frat initiations.” (places his hand on Louis’ knee, teases) “You
nervous yet, chicken?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “I’ve told you about the scars. Nothing else makes me nervous. Touch my ass if
you want. It’s just meat. Once I had Liam bite it—“ (Ed makes a face) “He was drunk and we were
playing King’s Cup and my rule, if I get to make one, is that every time someone calls a person by
their name, they have to eat their ass. I’m creative, I know.”
ED: “Liam Payne, permanently walking the thin line between a hundred percent straight and four
hundred percent gay for Zayn.”
LOUIS: “Four million percent. Liam is Zayn’s professional carpet cleaner and by carpet I mean
ass pubes.”
ED: “I bet he ‘accidentally’ calls Zayn by his name during King’s at a rate of nine a minute.
They’ve kissed once, did you know that?”
LOUIS: (raises his eyebrows) “No?”
ED: “Completely sober. We were hanging out and Zayn started provoking him for no reason,
saying things like ‘come on’ and getting all up in his face. We all thought they were gonna fight
but alas, Zayn just kissed him.” (chuckles) “Liam turned as red as my hair, would blush all over
again every time Zayn addressed him for the rest of the night.”
LOUIS: (blurts) “Kisses mean stuff.”
ED: “Huh?”
LOUIS: “When you kiss someone, that’s not a joke. It’s different. It’s important. To me, it is. I
don’t kiss randoms—I don’t kiss my one-night stands—I barely kissed Eleanor and that was
because I couldn’t avoid it at times.”
ED: “All this makes that kiss I just stole all the more important.”
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes) “That’s not a real kiss.”
ED: “What’s a real kiss?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “Don’t know…” (lower) “Like a Disney kiss.”
ED: (amused) “Did you say a Disney kiss?”
LOUIS: “Yeah.” (embarrassed) “A kiss at the end, a kiss to end things that means everything is
okay and happily ever after. All the Disney movies have the kiss at the end so a Disney kiss is an
end kiss. When I really kiss someone, it’ll be like that too—I’ll have no doubt. I’ll know what the
future looks like.”
Scene 7
“All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted.”
LOUIS: (watches Harry approach the table he’s sitting at) “Don’t do something cheesy and ask
me for a dance because I’m holding a knife.”
HARRY: (amused) “I was gonna go smoke a cig actually and needed my bag—“ (points to the
chair next to Louis’) “Will you?”
LOUIS: (already moving out of his chair) “Anything to end the cheesy music.”
HARRY: “Will you pass me my bag but sure, come.”
LOUIS: (huffy) “Or I won’t come if you’ll be too busy sucking on cancer sticks and wedding
singer sticks.”
HARRY: “I’ll be doing one of those for sure but which one?”
LOUIS: (rummages through Harry’s bag without looking, picks up the pack but doesn’t hand it to
him) “I’ll watch.”
HARRY: (they start heading for the woods next to the house) “For informational purposes?”
LOUIS: “Figured it’s about time you taught me something new.” (smirking) “Ed showed me how
to frot.”
HARRY: (neck cracks with how fast he turns his head) “What?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “The whole how it works thing. He demonstrated.”
HARRY: “Did he now?”
LOUIS: (provoking him) “You’re probably bad at it since you don’t like it.”
HARRY: (smirking) “Frotting works best if the lengths are, let’s say, equal. Not my fault I have a
tough time finding the right person.”
LOUIS: (flushed) “When did you get so damn dirty?!”
HARRY: “When you casually decided to bring up dick rubbing over dessert wine in my sister’s
wedding.”
LOUIS: “I have a big dick by the way so fuck you.”
HARRY: “Literally, no one asked.”
LOUIS: “But—“
HARRY: “I said I wanted someone with a big cock to frot with. I’m not frotting with you anytime
soon so I have no need for that big cock you probably don’t have to begin with.”
LOUIS: (astonished) “And how would you know?”

HARRY: “Only people with small dicks say it’s big.”
LOUIS: “You just said yours was big like forty-five seconds ago.”
HARRY: “Because it is.”
LOUIS: “But…?” (noticing Harry’s seconds away from bursting into laughter) “Whatever, I’m
not indulging you. I don’t even need a cig after this.”
HARRY: “Kay. I’ll be over here, frotting.”
LOUIS: “Same. With Ed. Who can do it better because he invented it and who’s not a douche.”
HARRY: “I can pick you up.”
LOUIS: “What does that have to do with anything?”
HARRY: “Think about it.”
LOUIS: “I have no idea what your pervert—“
HARRY: (eyeing his pants) “I think a part of you does.”
LOUIS: (looks down to see the bump in the front of his pants, a few seconds where he’s obviously
hesitating and confused before he shrugs, voice still somewhat shaky) “Big enough for you?”
HARRY: (mouth drops open, caught off guard) “Uh…” (fidgets, lost) “I was supposed to have
won that one.”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “You were. You kinda did.”
HARRY: (bites his lip, walks a few steps closer, restrained) “I don’t have time for confused
boners when I have a real one waiting for me inside.”
LOUIS: (unfazed) “Completely fair.”
HARRY: (nods) “Cigarettes?” (Louis hands him the pack, Harry starts walking away, curses,
turns back around to where Louis hasn’t moved an inch) “Just for the record, in a hypothetical
world, I would pick you up and hump you against this tree over here.” (points) “Until you came all
over those sexy pants, then I’d pull them down and lick you clean and you’d love every second of
it and I’d love every little moan you’d give me.” (Louis’ breath catches) “And by the time I was
done tasting every drop, you’d be hard again and I’d swallow you so deep, your head would bang
against that damned tree.” (Louis is fully hard in his pants, shallow breaths, but Harry doesn’t
point it out) “In a hypothetical world.” (walks away again, stops, turns around, pouty) “I’m better
than Ed in bed and that’s confirmed.” (turns back around, without starting to walk, turns one last
time) “I know all your sweet spots and I’d give you whatever you wanted—whatever—“
(frustrated with himself) “Shit, I’m better than him and if he ever touched you, I’d go crazy.”
LOUIS: (in shock, gulping heavily, whispered) “Completely fair.”
HARRY: “Good.” (walks away)
LOUIS: “Good.” (stiffly inches back, stops to shove a hand down his pants and adjust himself,
walks the rest of the way, zombie-like in shock) “Jesus Christ.” (steps into the party again, notices
Ed and Hunter laughing over beer, pauses in thought before sprinting back where he was, looking
through the trees until he spots Harry, sitting on the picnic table, cigarette in his mouth, stops,
panting from the sprint) “Who?”
HARRY: “Hmm?”
LOUIS: (insistent) “Who?”
HARRY: (smirks) “Not you.”
// END OF FOURTH SAGA \\

I
SAGA 5: THE VILLAIN WITH A SPINDLE
Chapter 91: I
Scene 1
[A Week Back, Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 11 :15 p m, It Starts With I And Ends
With Heartbreak]
LOUIS: (on his stomach on Harry’s bed) “Are you going back to that filthy club with sugar
daddies and ass-eaters?”
HARRY: (trying to figure out his outfit) “No, a new one, probably as filthy as the first. Luke
found it. He’s excited to have his ID back.”
LOUIS: “Are you?”
HARRY: “For him? Sure. I don’t think he should go out alone—”
LOUIS: “No, for you. Are you excited to be going out?”
HARRY: (half-shrug) “Sure.”
LOUIS: “You don’t sound excited?” (lower) “You shouldn’t go if you’re not…You don’t have
anything to prove…” (much lower) “To me at least…”
HARRY: (looking through the closet) “There’s no way to really know how bad or good it is until
you try.”
LOUIS: “Will you come back if it’s bad?”
HARRY: “We’ll probably drive somewhere else.”
LOUIS: “Is it smart to drive when you’re drunk?”
HARRY: “If it’s bad, I probably won’t be drunk.” (picks a shirt, looks at it) “Maybe this?”
LOUIS: (immediately) “Not that.”
HARRY: (turns towards him, holding the shirt in front of his body) “Why not?”
LOUIS: “I bought it for you—well, I chose it. I don’t…I mean.”
HARRY: (teasing him) “You don’t want me wearing shirts you chose without you now?” (pulling
off his current t-shirt) “You have a monopoly on me in those clothes?”
LOUIS: “Maybe…”
HARRY: (noticing) “What?”

LOUIS: “What what?”
HARRY: “What are you thinking?”
LOUIS: “Nothing. Just…” (picking at his toes) “You look good in it.”
HARRY: “I think that’s the point.”
LOUIS: “Why do you need to look good for a club?”
HARRY: (putting on the pretty shirt) “Why shouldn’t I?”
LOUIS: “Makes you a target. You’ll attract attention.”
HARRY: “Normally people wanna attract attention in clubs. Isn’t that how it works?” (jumping on
the bed stomach-first, grinning) “You do this often.”
LOUIS: “Did this often. I don’t do it anymore because it’s stupid and I’ve out-grown it. You
won’t find anyone worth it in clubs. It’s a waste of time. If you’re looking to get a boyfriend or
something, it’s a waste of time. It never happens.”
HARRY: (shrugs) “You’re probably right about that.”
LOUIS: “No, I am.”
HARRY: “That’s what I said, silly.”
LOUIS: “Then why go?”
HARRY: “I’ll get to meet people. Friends. I’ll get to practice my people skills. Don’t you like
when I do that?”
LOUIS: “I don’t like when you club.”
HARRY: “I don’t have an opinion about you clubbing.”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “You don’t care. I care. I mean, what do you want me to say?”
HARRY: (frowns) “Not like that. Don’t twist my words.”
LOUIS: “Don’t have them come out all doughy, ready to be a pretzel then.”
HARRY: “I care.” (touching Louis’ knee) “You know I care.”
LOUIS: “Guess so.” (forced laugh) “God, I’ve become bad, haven’t I? This is bad. This is
territorial. It’s weird. We’re getting weird with each other now, ever since… I don’t like that.”
HARRY: (biting his tongue) “I don’t either.”
LOUIS: “That’s why you wanna do this?”
HARRY: “No.”
LOUIS: “So you prove to both of us that you can?”

HARRY: “No.” (sadder) “But maybe it’s good if it serves two purposes.”
LOUIS: (explaining himself to himself) “I care because I’ve seen you bad.” (lying) “That’s all. I
care because I’ve picked you up from bad clubbing and you care because you have too and we’ve
proven to be bad at this. It’s…normal. Niall’d care if I went clubbing too. He’d probably tell me
not to. He has before. Doesn’t have to be weird.”
HARRY: “How about we try that again but this time I speak for myself?”
LOUIS: (clipped) “Alright then. I care because I don’t want you to pick up drugs again.”
HARRY: “And I care because I love spending time with you and it hurts when I’m not doing that
whether I want to acknowledge it or not. But I will acknowledge it because I’m not a coward.”
LOUIS: (sarcastic) “Subtle.”
HARRY: “We’ve gotten attached.” (Louis hisses) “We have. If you don’t want that to be the case,
you have to recognize it will hurt to pull away.” (stands up to change his pants) “It’s not easy to go
from whatever we are to best friends.”
LOUIS: (whispered) “We are best friends.”
HARRY: “Sure.” (pulling on a pair of black, skinny jeans) “If that’s what you want, distance, then
it’s good that we’re getting it.”
LOUIS: (looking down) “Yeah, fine, good. It is good. Good for you.”
HARRY: “Good for you.”
LOUIS: “Good for both of us.” (purposefully) “You just don’t have to club, that’s all. You meet
people every day.”
HARRY: “I’ll meet more people like me.”
LOUIS: “Gay people?”
HARRY: “Yeah, more gay people. It’s nice to know some gay people. It’s nice to have them
around.”
LOUIS: “Why? They’re not different—”
HARRY: (testy) “They understand.”
LOUIS: “Understand what—“
HARRY: “Understand how irritating things are.”
LOUIS: “What things?”
HARRY: “Things.”
LOUIS: “What things are limited to the gay community that other people won’t get?”
HARRY: “Look, I don’t know, okay? It would make me feel better if I just knew more of them.
It’s easier to open up.”
LOUIS: “If you say stuff, like gay stuff, stuff you’d tell them, I wouldn’t judge you. I thought I
proved to you that I don’t care. I’m not that person anymore—I get your jokes, I get when you
joke. I don’t mind when you pretend-hit on me.”
HARRY: “Pretend hit on you?” (shakes his head) “You’re like one step forward two steps back.
Constantly.” (Louis winces, Harry takes a deep breath before…) “I wanna get laid.”
LOUIS: “What?”
HARRY: “You heard it. I wanna…” (can’t even say it again) “That. I wanna do what you do. I
wanna find people to do that with who I don’t have to worry about falling in love with and—and
getting utterly demolished when they don’t love me back.” (drops it, combs through his hair, puts
a fake smile on his face) “That’s something you need gay people for, nay?”
LOUIS: “You don’t sleep with people you don’t know well—“
HARRY: “Now I do.”
LOUIS: “Since when? Since you slept with Ed?”
HARRY: “Yes, since then.”
LOUIS: “Because he told you to sleep with Hunter?”
HARRY: (sarcastic) “Don’t you two talk about everything.”
LOUIS: “That’s wasn’t a secret. Ed wants you to sleep around and—“
HARRY: (exploding) “And you? What do you want? You want me to sleep around too? Like
him? You want what he wants?”
LOUIS: “I want what you want.”
HARRY: “No, you don’t. You wouldn’t know what that means.”
LOUIS: “Yes. If you want to sleep around then I’ll want that too.”
HARRY: (lost) “I don’t get you. I don’t get how you can sit there and—and…” (frustrated sigh) “I
don’t get it.”
LOUIS: (gulps) “I want to be normal about this. Like with Niall.”
HARRY: “Stop saying ‘Niall’. It’s become the new ‘no homo’ this week.”
LOUIS: (ignores him) “If Niall wanted to sleep around, I’d want it for him. So I want it for you if
you want it.”
HARRY: “I want you, Louis.”
LOUIS: “And I want to spend time with you too.”
HARRY: (pained) “Don’t twist my words…” (Louis struggles, Harry sighs again) “Just tell me
you don’t want me and we’ll be okay. We’ll get over it.” (Louis looks panicked) “I know you hate
thinking about these things but lets just rip the band-aid off quickly so we can we done with this,
alright?”
LOUIS: (squeaky) “Harry.”
HARRY: “I want you like that. You know how. I’ve given you enough clues and visuals for you
to realize very well what I think about at night.”
LOUIS: “That’s fine. I’m attractive—“
HARRY: “No, love. You are but that’s not it.”
LOUIS: “I’m a boy and—“
HARRY: (gentle but firm) “That’s not it. You know that’s not it.”
LOUIS: “It is.”
HARRY: “Louis, I don’t want to suck off all of my friends—“
LOUIS: “You could have said that about anyone—Liam—anyone.”
HARRY: “But I’ve only said it to you.”
LOUIS: “So? So? So what? You wanna suck me off—fine—what is that? Some sort of sign or
whatever? You’re curious about—“
HARRY: “When I was talking about the boner, I meant mine. Because doing these things with you
makes me so hard and every single time I sank off, it is to thoughts of you.”
LOUIS: “Because I’m hot—“
HARRY: “Because I’m obsessed with you.”
LOUIS: “Because I’m hot!”
HARRY: “Because you’re everything I wan—“
LOUIS: “Stop.” (breathing harsher, looking around, trapped, in complete shock) “If you don’t
stop, I’m going to hate you—“
HARRY: “I know. And I tried but it was going to happen, inevitable, everyone saw it coming—I
did since day one, since I first saw you, I knew this day would come, where I told you and you
looked at me with those shocked blue pretties of yours. You’re amazing—”
LOUIS: (whispered) “Don’t do this, please. Don’t make me face it!”
HARRY: (patient in picking up where he left off) “You’re amazing and I’m…I’m crushing on you.
A lot. Not for your body. Not in a platonic Liam-Zayn way. I’m crushing on you bad, so bad
you’re all I think about all the time, all the freaking time, twenty-four, seven. So bad Ed and my
mom noticed. And you have too.”
LOUIS: “No…”
HARRY: (raises his hand to stop him) “This sucks, I know. It makes things weird. It’s
unfortunate. But it’s not the end of the world and it’s not the end of our friendship because now
that we addressed it, we can move beyond it. No secrets. It’s all out in the open.”
LOUIS: “Why did you do this?”
HARRY: “Louis, you knew.”
LOUIS: “With the lights on—why did you do this with the lights on? Now? At all? Why did you
do this at all? Why are you—have you gone mad? Why are you saying shit like this? You know I
don’t—I know, you know—Ed knows—fuck them all—who cares? There was no need for this!
You did this to what? To what?” (breaking down) “What are you doing to me?”
HARRY: “It’s alright, bub.”
LOUIS: “Turn off the lights.”
HARRY: “No.”
LOUIS: “Turn off the fucking lights—I can’t look at you like this!”
HARRY: “I’m going to go soon and I’m going to fix everything, okay? For both of us. I’m going
to make it all good again and we will be best friends for a long time—“
LOUIS: “You’re an asshole. A selfish asshole that doesn’t care about anyone else and you’re
killing me—”
HARRY: (unfazed) “—I won’t let something as stupid as my feelings get in the way of what we
have here, which is strong and wonderful and helps us both be better people—“
LOUIS: “You were not supposed to do this.”
HARRY: “It’s better—“
LOUIS: “You were not supposed to get hurt!”
HARRY: (sad) “Inevitable. I let myself get here because I loved the journey.”
LOUIS: (shaking his head, speechless) “I wasn’t ready to hear it this.”
HARRY: “I know. But I was ready to say it.”
LOUIS: “Well, I’ll just say…” (gulping, gathering himself superficially, keeping it all in) “I’m not
worth crushing over.”
HARRY: “What would you have said if the lights were off?”
LOUIS: “They’re not.”
HARRY: “But—“
LOUIS: “But they’re not. And maybe it’s good so I don’t make you any promises I can’t keep out
of stupidity and desperation.”
HARRY: (nods, trying to be strong) “Let’s do this again. Tell me you don’t want me so we can
have some closure or something? Like an end? A good little end for our good little fairyfuck.”
(chuckling through the pain) “Then I’ll go get wasted to forget and we’ll be back to awesome
tomorrow. Come on then.”
LOUIS: (long silence) “I don’t want to want you.”
HARRY: (caught off guard) “Lou—!”
LOUIS: “So it doesn’t matter whether I do or don’t. It doesn’t matter what I want—That much
was decided for me a long time ago. I want you happy and wanting me will never make you happy.
I won’t.”
HARRY: “You do make me happy.”
LOUIS: “But wanting me doesn’t. It’s constant pain and rejection. And shame. Guilt. Self-hatred.”
HARRY: (confused) “No…”
LOUIS: (hugging himself) “I know.”
HARRY: (opens his mouth to ask but thinks twice, closes it again, takes a deep breath) “This is
hurting both of us then.”
LOUIS: “Yeah…”
HARRY: “Probably best to quit talking about it.”
LOUIS: (practically voiceless) “Probably.”
HARRY: (nodding to himself, half-disbelief) “I don’t know what I expected…”
LOUIS: “A Disney ending.”
HARRY: “Doesn’t have to be the end. Could be the tragic beginning.” (standing up, sniffling a bit,
pocketing his phone) “I’ll text to give you a heads up about whatever happens?”
LOUIS: (licking his lips, biting the bottom, still looking away) “Sure. Just give me fair warning
and I’ll get out of here if you’ll be busy.”
HARRY: “I probably won’t. Like you said, it’s probably going to suck. I just need a drink and
well. I think I’m allowed one, right?”
LOUIS: (resigned) “Right. Be safe.”
HARRY: “Will be.” (hesitates before lightly touching his hair) “Will you be fine on your own?”
LOUIS: “Yup.”
HARRY: “Nothing crazy?”
LOUIS: (plastic) “Nothing. Was gonna play some xbox anyway, watch a movie, call Niall, have a
beer. Nothing unusual.”
HARRY: (caressing Louis’ hair longingly, short chuckle) “I’ll probably end up doing that too.”
(walks towards the door) “I shouldn’t be back too late.” (stops before the hallway, not turning
around) “I’m glad we had this talk. I’m glad it’s all…you know.” (goes to open the door) “Done
with.”
LOUIS: “Harry.” (hurries towards the door, Harry hasn’t moved yet, they bump into each other)
“Oh.”
HARRY: (smiling faintly) “You okay there?”
LOUIS: “I’m just…just…” (clear he’s beating himself up, forcing a smirk) “Just happy you’re
getting over your prude ways and finally doing something you wouldn’t have normally done in the
beginning. At least one of us is arching as a character.” (pats him awkwardly in the shoulder) “Go
get ‘em. All that practice, you should be totally ready for this. First fuck after Ed, second fuck ever,
this is major. Good on you.”
HARRY: “We’ll see.” (coughing to disguise the pain in his voice, mock formal) “We shall see
how this mission goes.” (about to head out when Louis grabs the back of his shirt, pulls him back,
snuggles into his arms, Harry’s chocked up but trying to keep it light) “Good bye hugs?” (wraps
his arms around Louis) “Is Lou-bear getting sentimental on me now?”
LOUIS: (shrugs, joking though his voice sounds like he’s about to cry) “You might get kidnapped
and molested so who knows, might be the last hug I get…”
HARRY: (nuzzles into his neck) “It might.”

Ideally
Chapter 92: Ideally
Scene 1
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 2 :45 a m, Passing Through I Think I See You…]
NIALL: (over phone) “You want me to come over and keep you company?”
LOUIS: (phone on loudspeaker on the bed, Louis playing on his XBOX) “Nah. I only have one
controller here anyway.”
NIALL: “You should get some sleep. You don’t have tomorrow off.”
LOUIS: “Neither do you yet you’re awake.”
NIALL: “I was making EasyMac. I’ll eat that and die for a couple of ours.” (pause) “Will you be
okay?”
LOUIS: “Why wouldn’t I be?”
NIALL: “You sound upset.”
LOUIS: “I’m not upset. I’m fine. Totally fine and…”
NIALL: “And?”
LOUIS: “Huh?”
NIALL: “You said and.”
LOUIS: “I’m distracted—playing. And not upset.”
NIALL: (hidden worry) “You’re alone…”
LOUIS: “That’s true but that’s no reason to be upset. It’s just a night. He’ll come back. He’ll be
here soon. Nothing’s…”
NIALL: “Nothing’s what? Finish your sentences.”
LOUIS: “Nothing’s wrong with me.”
NIALL: “That’s not what I said…”
LOUIS: “He’ll be back.”
NIALL: “He will so you should stop acting like the left-out girlfriend.”
LOUIS: “I can’t stop when I didn’t start to begin with, ass.”
NIALL: (chuckling) “Have a beer and get to bed.”

LOUIS: (reluctantly) “He could come back with a guy tonight…”
NIALL: “He could so it’s best if you just went to yours. That way you don’t have to wake up.”
LOUIS: “Chances are he’ll come back empty-handed. He said so himself.”
NIALL: “Well, on the off-chance…”
LOUIS: “It’s a small chance.”
NIALL: “You get cranky when you’re woken up.”
LOUIS: “That’s why I’m not sleeping in the first place. I’ll wait for him to come back.”
NIALL: “It’s almost three.”
LOUIS: “So he should be back soon. Go sleep. And stop eating before bed, you’ll get fat.” (hangs
up, looks at his phone for a few silent minutes, looks at the paused game, sighs, gets up, turns off
the XBOX and the lights, gets back in bed, checks his phone again, flips through the movie options
offered) “Just you and me then, Shrek? You know, I used to think we had a lot in common, us two,
but I’m starting to see I’m the ass.”
Scene 2
[Parliament House Night Club, Orange Blossom Trail, Orlando, 12:47am, In The Shapes of
All The Women]
BEAU: (stumbling to the bar, some guy touches his behind, flips around, scathing) “Watch it.”
(humphs, tires to find a way to the bar, spots Harry) “You done ordering, curly?”
HARRY: (flips around at the pet name, looks at the boy in front of him, somewhat dazed, tipsy)
“Uh…me?”
BEAU: “Yes, you, the person taking unnecessary bar-space. You done?” (notices Harry isn’t done
ogling him) “Yo, you speak?”
HARRY: (snaps out) “No.”
BEAU: “Do learn.”
HARRY: “No, not done.”
BEAU: “Hurry then. Some of us have places to be.”
HARRY: (sharp, rolling his eyes) “Oh, I don’t doubt that at all.” (turning around again)
BEAU: “You calling me a slut, mate?”
HARRY: “You said it not I.”
BEAU: (shoves himself beside Harry, squeezing in until the guy next to Harry gives him a look
and makes some space) “I’ll let you down gently—“
HARRY: “There won’t be a need.”

BEAU: “I know what you might think, little boy, pretty eyes, someone easy to bed—“
HARRY: (snorts) “Really, no need.”
BEAU: “You’re probably just picking me because let’s face it, everyone would.”
HARRY: (can barely hold back his laughter) “Absolutely no need.”
BEAU: “You’re an attractive man—“
HARRY: (smiling, amused) “Thank you.”
BEAU: (mock dramatic) “But you’re just not the type I’d take home to mother.”
HARRY: (biting his lip, wholly entertained) “I wasn’t interested.”
BEAU: “You were looking.”
HARRY: “You remind me of someone.”
BEAU: “An ex? The reason you’re here tonight in the first place? You’d do best rebounding that-a
way.”
HARRY: “Perceptive.”
BEAU: (sarcastic) “I have many talents.” (waiter arrives, Beau orders, really Australian accent)
“A vodka coke please.”
BARTENDER: “Excuse me?”
BEAU: (slower) “Vodka—“
HARRY: (interjects to help) “He wants a vodka coke. Make it two while you’re there. I’ll have a
double. A light one for the child.”
BEAU: (raises an eyebrow, snappy) “You know mocking my accent is not an effective type of
flirting.”
HARRY: “But calling you a child is?”
BEAU: “No. None of it is.”
HARRY: “Probably because I was helping you along, not flirting.”
BEAU: “I don’t need help, baby face. I speak the language.”
HARRY: (smiling) “A language, whatever it is.”
BEAU: (rolls his eyes, under his breath) “Dipshit.”
HARRY: (tutting) “Potty mouth. Are you always this pissy when you’re trying to have fun?”
BEAU: “Only when homeless weirdos hit on me.”

HARRY: “I’m not homeless, first of all. And I’m not hitting on you, also first of all. I have a cut-
off at fifteen years old…” (winks at him) “For legal reasons. Are you even old enough to be
allowed a drink?”
BEAU: (blinks slowly in surprise) “Again, you’re not doing yourself any favors.”
HARRY: “Who said I wanna be doing myself any favors?” (wiggles his eyebrows) “Who said I
want you doing me any?”
BEAU: “Why else are you talking to me?”
HARRY: “Can’t make friends? Can’t help a guy out?”
BEAU: (unconvinced) “I won’t be helping you out any time soon so shoo.”
HARRY: (leans on the bar, smirks) “I think you’re trying to hit on me with how much you bring it
up.” (drawled) “I think you quite like me.”
BEAU: (mild smile, amused) “My cut-off is twelve. For religious reasons.”
HARRY: “Good thing I’m thirteen then.”
BEAU: “Since we’re listing things you are can I add creepy to it as well?”
HARRY: “Sure, and ‘the person paying for your drink’.” (hands the bartender his credit card as
the man puts the two glasses on the table) “Your drink, pissy-face?”
BEAU: Technically it’s yours. You ordered it.” (grabs the glass anyway, starts sipping on the
straw) “And it’s bad. Like you. And your flirting.”
HARRY: (takes a sip off of his) “Good luck trying to get the bartender to understand your
mumbling.”
BEAU: (mumbled around the straw, he’s chugging pretty fast) “You don’t seem to have any
problems.”
HARRY: “I have many talents.”
BEAU: “Fuck off.”
HARRY: (pretend shocked face) “Naughty. Vulgar. Ungrateful. Immature. Whiny. Childish.”
BEAU: “Immature and childish mean the same thing. That’s redundant.”
HARRY: (smiling bigger) “—Pretentious, sassy, unapproachable, mean…Need I go on?”
BEAU: (gives him the middle finger) “No. You can walk away now. I’m not here to be harassed
by preppy, frat boys.”
HARRY: (bursts into laughter) “You’re wearing a tank top and a backwards hat yet I’m the frat
boy?”
BEAU: (smirks) “It takes one to know one.”

HARRY: “Touche. I’m Harry. Styles.”
BEAU: “I’ll tell you my name if you promise not to make a cheesy comment afterwards.”
HARRY: “Can’t promise that.”
BEAU: “Brooks.”
HARRY: (confused) “What’s cheesy about that, Brooksy?”
BEAU: “That’s my last name. And it’s never ‘Brooksy’, Roldy.
HARRY: (amused) “Roldy?”
BEAU: “I’m assuming your name is Harold.”
HARRY: “I’m assuming you’re a stalker?”
BEAU: “I’m assuming you ain’t getting laid tonight.”
HARRY: “I don’t sleep with guys whose names I don’t know.”
BEAU: “That’s all you get until you promise. Nothing cheesy.”
HARRY: (grins) “Come on. How do you even know I’ll have something?”
BEAU: (raises an eyebrow) “I’ve had this name all my life. I’ve heard them all.”
HARRY: “I’ll do my best to surprise you.”
BEAU: “You’ll fail.”
HARRY: “Let’s place a bet. I surprise you, I get a kiss.”
BEAU: (laughing) “You surprised yourself with that suggestion.”
HARRY: (laughs back) “I did. It was bold of me. I’m a bit proud. I’m patting myself on the back.
Aren’t you impressed?”
BEAU: “You might have to try harder.”
HARRY: “I thought I was trying too hard.”
BEAU: “Not hard enough.”
HARRY: (blurting) “I’ll show your tight ass hard enough if you stick around—Wow, that was
supremely inappropriate.”
BEAU: (amused) “You are so weird.”
HARRY: “Why did I say that?”
BEAU: “Because you are so weird.”

HARRY: “Good weird?”
BEAU: (laughs) “Nope.”
HARRY: “Endearing weird?”
BEAU: “Eh.”
HARRY: “Sexy weird?”
BEAU: “One might say.”
HARRY: (giddy) “It’s a bet then?”
BEAU: “What if I win?”
HARRY: “I stop talking to you.”
BEAU: “How’s that winning for me, Roldy?”
HARRY: “I thought you weren’t here to be harassed by frat boys.”
BEAU: “You aren’t a frat boy, right?”
HARRY: “Are you always this good at twisting the conversation until you get what you want?”
BEAU: (shrugs) “If I win, ya take me on a proper date.”
HARRY: “My bedroom not proper enough for you, babe?”
BEAU: (shoves him away playfully) “Douche.”
HARRY: (slaps his forehead) “I don’t even know why I said that. I never say stuff like that.”
BEAU: “Sure you don’t.” (pops his lips in thought) “The name’s Beau, B-E-A-U, pronounced
‘Bo’.”
HARRY: “Ah, oui? Il est commode que ton nom soit “beau” puisque t’es si chaud.”
BEAU: (eyebrows up) “French?”
HARRY: “You can’t judge how cheesy it is if you don’t know what it means.”
BEAU: “Doesn’t seem fair.”
HARRY: “Nor does having both the name and the looks.”
BEAU: “There it is.”
HARRY: (leaning in close) “It was an afterthought. I think I win.”
BEAU: (lets Harry come closer, smirks) “Do you though?”
LUKE: (lingering beside them, hesitant) “Harry?”

HARRY: (snapped awake, turns towards Luke, blushes) “Hey. What’s up? Thought you were
upstairs…”
LUKE: (looks at Beau suspiciously, then back at Harry) “Yeah, I was. It’s cool up there but… I
wanted to check on you. See what you’re up to. How things are going…” (looks at Beau again)
“And stuff…”
HARRY: “Doing well. You okay?” (Luke nods) “Oh, this is Beau. Beau, Luke.”
BEAU: (teasing him) “Boyfriend?”
HARRY: (chuckles) “Not quite.”
BEAU: (amused) “Not quite? It’s like you purposely choose answers that would turn me off.”
LUKE: “I’m not his boyfriend. Like…at all. Where are you from?”
BEAU: “Melbourne.” (as Luke opens his mouth) “Let me guess, Sydney? Yes, wow, cool,
boomerangs, kangaroos, koalas, surfing, drop-bears, Nicole Kidman, vegemite. We have much in
common, yeah. Let’s just pretend we had all that talk about Aussie so we don’t actually have to
have it.”
LUKE: (gives him a dirty look before turning towards Harry) “I’m gonna smoke a cig. You’ll be
fine here?”
BEAU: (unimpressed) “You’ve been appointed his guard dog. Bet you’re not even legal.”
LUKE: “Bet you just turned twenty-one and now wanna strut around like a toughie.” (taunting)
“Just ‘cause Harry here is giving you the time of day doesn’t mean you’re all that, mate. Chill a bit,
yeah?” (before Beau can reply, to Harry) “Don’t get too caught up with this dill.” (walks away)
BEAU: (crossing his arms, smile on his face) “Charming.”
HARRY: (confused) “Dill?”
BEAU: “Are your wingmen always this bad at it?”
HARRY: (lazy smile) “Yes, to compliment me.”
BEAU: “Makes sense.”
HARRY: (wraps an arm around his waist, pulls him close) “Now, am I getting that kiss?”
BEAU: (doesn’t push away, smirks) “Your friend said you can’t.”
HARRY: (husky) “They always do that. They hate the boys I go for. It’s a bit of a ritual. It tells me
I’m on the right track.”
BEAU: (eyes half-shut, against Harry’s lips) “Should probably listen.”
HARRY: “Yeah, probably.” (kisses Beau roughly, both smirking, grabbing onto each other’s
clothing, Harry pulls back, starts kissing down his neck, tone gruff) “Pretty excited for someone
who’s uninterested.”
BEAU: (chuckles airily, somewhat blushed) “Didn’t think you’d go for it…”
HARRY: “It’s like I keep surprising you.” (stops touching him, grins) “And myself.” (laughs)
“Sorry, I don’t do this often. That’s why I’m so awkward. And weird and happy.” (smiling) “I
apologize.”
BEAU: “You don’t do what often?”
HARRY: “Pick up pretty boys in clubs.”
BEAU: “Yeah? Why me then?”
HARRY: “Thought I’d make an exception for a college boy. Where you off to when the summer
ends?”
BEAU: “Conn Coll. How’d you pick up on it?”
HARRY: “You’re young. Lots of undergrads come to Orlando looking for summer jobs.”
BEAU: (raises an eyebrow) “So the only thing appealing about me is that I have an expiration
date?”
HARRY: (laughing) “I did not mean it to sound like that—“ (more laughter) “But maybe…so I
don’t, you know, fall for you in a bad way.”
BEAU: “You are so bad at this. So horribly bad. I’ve been nothing but insulted since I started
talking to you.”
HARRY: “Part of me thinks you like it. Kinky.” (Beau bursts out laughing) “And I’m not that bad,
it seems. Got you, didn’t I?”
BEAU: (shaking his head) “No, you didn’t. You keep doing this shit, I’ll be booking it when we
leave this club.”
HARRY: “Assuming we leave this club together.”
BEAU: “I don’t bottom.”
HARRY: (pauses, looks up to think about it) “Huh…”
BEAU: (seems more worried) “No deal?”
HARRY: (still thinking, pursing his lips) “Dunno to tell you the truth. Didn’t think it that far.”
BEAU: (uncomfortable) “I’ve never done it. Wouldn’t do it with a stranger.”
HARRY: (smiles warmly) “You’re right. I wouldn’t want to be your first anyway. Your first
should be someone you care about.”
BEAU: (rolls his eyes) “No deal then?”
HARRY: “What do you suggest?”
BEAU: (blushed, almost nervous, avoiding eye contact, severely mumbled) “Could suck you off.
Hook up, you know? That stuff, the weak stuff, I’m pretty good at.”
HARRY: (wraps an arm around him to comfort him) “Or we could just cuddle and kiss and sleep,
how’s that?”
BEAU: (hugging him back, much more at ease) “I‘m not letting you get ya end wet, if that’s what
you’re thinking.”
HARRY: (chuckles) “Whatever that means.”

Incoming
Chapter 93: Incoming
Scene 1
[Luke- Louis Texting Thread]
07/11/14 03:19am
[LOUIS] How’s it going? Dead yet?
[LUKE] Nope.
[LUKE] It’s nice. College night so lots of young prey. I am hunting. >:)
[LOUIS] Ew.
[LOUIS] Is Harry dead?
[LUKE] Nah.
[LOUIS] You sure? You with him?
[LUKE] No but I see him. Don’t worry. He’s having fun. Maybe a little too much of it.
[LOUIS] ???
[LUKE] He’s been talking to the same guy for ages now.
[LUKE] Some Aussie twink with a dirty mouth who is so good at beer pong it’s actually classified
as murder because he murders competition.
[LUKE] Ugh. Absolute douche cannoli.
[LUKE] *cannoli.
[LUKE] **canoodle
[LOUIS] How drunk is H?
[LUKE] Drunk.
[LOUIS] Beer goggles?
[LUKE] No, the asshole is attractive, unfortunately.
[LUKE] All the assholes are attractive.
[LOUIS] With Harry’s bad flirting, no chance he’ll stick around.
[LUKE] See for yourself. (picture attached)

[LOUIS] If I had a dollar for every pixel in that picture, I’d have two dollars.
[LUKE] I’m sorry I can’t pull out my professional camera for a Vogue photoshoot, Louis. I’m
hiding behind a plant.
[LOUIS] Go take a selfie with them.
[LUKE] I don’t wanna cock-block.
[LUKE] Plus the dude calls me vegemite.
[LOUIS] Why?
[LUKE] We had a little moment of bonding over dingos and Anzac day.
[LOUIS] What?
[LUKE] Harry seems to like him.
[LOUIS] Picture. Now.
[LUKE] That’s mad awkward.
[LOUIS] Go.
[LOUIS] Go or you won’t have a fake again. I sent you there with a mission.
[LUKE] Zayn and Liam actually did.
[LOUIS] LUCAS!
[LUKE] Here. (picture attached)
[LUKE] But know that I died of shame asking him and I have his autograph on my forearm and
you owe me like…nine shots.
[LOUIS] He’s ugly.
[LUKE] He’s okay.
[LOUIS] He’s ugly.
Scene 2
[Harry- Louis Texting Thread]
07/11/14 04:10am
[HARRY] Guy home tonight.
[HARRY] Whooooo!
[HARRY] I win things! I was good. Be proud!!!!

[HARRY] He’s little like you. But more little.
[HARRY] I like you so.
[HARRY] You proud? :) I did like you said. For you!
[HARRY] Lou is zzzzzz.
[LOUIS] What if I was sleeping?
[HARRY] That would have been awkward lol.
[LOUIS] It’s 4 fucking am. Couldn’t you have warned me earlier?
[HARRY] I’m sorry. :(
[LOUIS] Have fun.
Scene 3
[Outside Eleanor’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 4 :21 a m]
LOUIS: (door opens, Louis is standing there solemnly, a ton of hoodies huddled up in his arms)
“Hey, sorry, it’s late.”
ELEANOR: (eyes practically closed, mumbled) “Louis? It’s way late…what’s going on?” (points
at the hoodies) “What are all of these? Are you sleep-walking?” (rubs her eyes, yawns) “Is there a
fire alarm?”
LOUIS: (holds them closer) “Can I sleep here tonight?”
ELEANOR: “What? Now?” (Louis nods) “Why?”
LOUIS: “No sex, nothing. I won’t bother you. I won’t do anything. I’ll be invisible. I just need to
stay with someone.”
ELEANOR: (a little slow to respond, blinking in confusion) “Okay, yeah. Come in. Yeah.”
(yawning again, door closes behind them, they walk further in the room) “Is anything wrong? You
don’t look drunk…Did anything happen?” (Louis lowers the pile of clothes on the bed in a big ball)
“What are these?”
LOUIS: “Harry’s hoodies.” (sits on the bed, next to the hoodies, rocking back and forth slightly)
“I’m saving them.”
ELEANOR: “What?”
LOUIS: (shrugs, blindly searches for the pile, latches on to one on top to comfort himself) “From
being stolen.”
ELEANOR: “Stolen by who?”
LOUIS: (staring at the wall, blank-faced) “I’m sorry. I couldn’t go to Niall. He’d have made fun
of me. And Liam…I don’t know. They wouldn’t get it. I didn’t know who to go to.”
ELEANOR: (noticing the state Louis is in, sits beside him) “That’s okay. What happened?”
LOUIS: “Nothing. It’s stupid.”
ELEANOR: (touching his knee, gentle) “Louis?”
LOUIS: (sniffling somewhat) “Harry’s out with some guy. Some guy who he likes. He wants to
bring him back.” (wipes his nose on his forearm) “They’ll probably fuck. I mean what else do you
do at this time? He’s fucking some guy and I feel like crying.”
ELEANOR: “Ah.”
LOUIS: “And I don’t want Harry to give him a hoodie.”
ELEANOR: “Ah…”
LOUIS: “So I had to bring them all here.”
ELEANOR: “All his hoodies?”
LOUIS: “Yes. All of them. I would have brought everything—his t-shirts too, everything if I could
but I can only do so many and hoodies are fine. Especially this one, he gave this to me first—it’s
Ed’s and now it’s mine and he can’t have it.”
ELEANOR: “Okay.”
LOUIS: “I’m so stupid.”
ELEANOR: “No, Louis…”
LOUIS: “So stupid. I don’t even know why I’m upset, really. I just thought he’d come back, watch
a movie with me and then…” (voice quivering) “Having to get out of his room because he…he… I
don’t know. It’s stupid. I feel stupid doing this.”
ELEANOR: “How do you know this is happening?”
LOUIS: “He texted me. He and Luke did. He told me he wanted me out of there. He already has a
new guy who’s better and he doesn’t need me anymore.”
ELEANOR: “He can’t have said that. That doesn’t sound like him.”
LOUIS: “He was nicer about it.” (silence, Louis bites his lip, pouts) “What did I expect? He
warned me he was going out for this reason only. He warned me and I let him go.”
ELEANOR: “He went out to hookup?”
LOUIS: “Yes!”
ELEANOR: “That also doesn’t sound like him.”
LOUIS: (furious, on his feet, dragging the Columbia hoodie with him by the sleeve) “I know! I
know.” (pacing around the room) “He doesn’t do that. He’s not like that. He’s shy—He’s shy and
cute and doesn’t like other people. He doesn’t like strangers and he doesn’t kiss strangers!”
(breathing heavily) “But now he’s saying he’s horny and he wants someone who will like him like
that…” (hand in his hair) “And I don’t even know why I care. That’s the ridiculous part. Why do I
care? Why the fuck do I care?!” (throws the hoodie on the other side of the room) “He can do what
he wants. Who cares?” (brokenly) “Why do I care so much?”
ELEANOR: (looking at him sadly) “You just didn’t expect it from him, that’s all…”
LOUIS: “I didn’t. Why is he doing this? This isn’t him.”
ELEANOR: “Maybe he really is frustrated, Louis. He’s a boy. He has urges like you, random
urges. He makes mistakes. You’ve slept around too, remember? It’s random. It’s no big deal.”
ELEANOR: “Exactly. Tomorrow he’ll probably be back to being Harry again.”
LOUIS: “Right.” (shoulders drop) “Right.” (sits on the bed again) “You’re right.”
ELEANOR: “You said that three times. Now I’m really starting to worry.”
LOUIS: (guilty, whispered) “I just hate being jealous. I’m so jealous right now, I can’t feel my
hands. I wanna punch something just to get the feeling back. I wanna punch the guy’s face in. I
almost didn’t wanna leave so I could do that. Wait for them to come back and just beat the shit out
of him…” (shakes his head) “God, I’m losing it.” (looks at her) “That’s why I’m here. I knew if I
went to my room, I’d have insomnia and maybe do something I’d regret. Like go back…You can’t
let me embarrass myself.”
ELEANOR: (soft, grabbing his hand) ”You’ll be fine. You’re just a little riled up. You haven’t
slept.”
LOUIS: “I hate being jealous for no reason. I’m that guy friend that loses it when…like I said that
whole thing. I just don’t like losing my friends to girlfriends—apparently that extends to boyfriends
too.” (snorts, self-deprecating) “What an overreaction. I’m not competing with him. We’re not
even in the same category. He’s a boy-toy and I’m his best friend. Haz loves me. There’s no
contest—Why do I always get like this? Will I get like this when Niall dates?”
ELEANOR: “No. You will rationalize all this tomorrow. It’s past four. You’re not thinking
straight.”
LOUIS: “He isn’t either. Otherwise he wouldn’t be bringing that tosser home. He’s probably some
douche.”
ELEANOR: “Don’t do this again.”
LOUIS: “I’m not doing anything.”
ELEANOR: “If Harry wants to be with someone, he gets to be with someone. As his best friend,
you’re supposed to be supportive.”
LOUIS: “As his best friend, I don’t want him dating wankers.”
ELEANOR: (rolls her eyes) “Or at all. Give this one a chance. If Harry likes him, you might like
him too.”
LOUIS: “If Harry likes him I’ll absolutely hate him because I don’t like sharing Harry with
anyone. Harry is mine. He’s my baby—I found him, I made him this, I know him and understand
him and make him smile. He’s mine. This is unfair—He’s mine.”
Scene 4
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 4 :35 a m]
HARRY: (opens the door, turning on the lights) “See, not a suite. Feel free to back out.”
BEAU: (walks in) “So this is what these over-priced rooms look like. Not gonna lie was expecting
more pink and naked princesses.” (trips on some discarded clothes, looks around, a good portion
of the drawers are open and spilling clothes) “Nice storing method. Must work wonders.”
HARRY: (discards his jacket, looks at the mess, confused) “Yeah… Sorry about that. My
boyfriend’s a bit of a slob.”
BEAU: “Boyfriend?”
HARRY: “Huh? Oh, I mean boy space friend. Male friend. Best friend, who I happen to
occasionally live with, as friends. We live together as friends, just friendly, bro things. Bro-friends,
yes, that’s…that.” (Beau raises an eyebrow) “He’s not my boyfriend. I don’t have a boyfriend. You
think I’d be doing this if I had a boyfriend? You think I’d say that in the first place?”
BEAU: “You have strange ways of getting people to bed you.”
HARRY: “I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t cheat on my boyfriends.”
BEAU: “I don’t care. I’m not the boyfriend. Nor do I plan on being that, let’s get that straight.”
HARRY: “Gotten. I don’t…” (gulps, lost for words) “Whatever you want. I’m open to whatever
you want.”
BEAU: (teasing) “Does your boyfriend know you’re doing this tonight? Oh super kinky.”
(grinning) “Then you call me the douche.”
HARRY: “I don’t have one.”
BEAU: (walks up to him, pulls him down from the shirt, against his lips) “Don’t care.” (kisses him)
“Drama-llama gives me migraines.” (another kiss)
HARRY: (wraps his arms around Beau’s waist) “You should care.”
BEAU: “I thought you didn’t have one?”
HARRY: “I mean if I did.” (pushes him back towards the bed) “You should care if you’re helping
someone cheat.”
BEAU: “If the person doesn’t care enough for his own relationship, how am I expected to care
instead?”
HARRY: (somber) “Maybe they’re just making a mistake. Maybe you’d save them a lot of trouble
by slapping them awake.”
BEAU: (makes a face) “Is this what you consider foreplay? Because it’s not doing it for me.”
HARRY: (laughing) “I’m sorry. I’m a mess.” (nuzzles Beau’s neck) “I’ll shut up.”
BEAU: “Good idea.”
Scene 5
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 5 :10 a m]
HARRY: (both laying on the bed, movie playing when Beau smirks and straddles Harry) “You’re
gonna miss the best part.”
BEAU: (sitting on his lap) “Cute. But I’d much rather do this…” (leans down to give him a light
kiss) “That’s the point, right?”
HARRY: (holding him gently, placing sweet kisses on his lips) “What is…?” (hugs him) “What’s
the point?”
BEAU: (pulling away) “You are really into this…affection-thing.”
HARRY: “Isn’t that…normal?”
BEAU: (amused) “Sure, whatever gets your there.” (Harry pulls him into another kiss, taking his
time) “It’s just that if we’re kissing all the time, my mouth won’t be free to do other stuff.”
HARRY: (eyes closed) “I like kissing.” (caresses his cheek then runs his fingers through Beau’s
hair, pulls him for another deep kiss) “I like this.”
BEAU: (half-responding, half-confused) “I thought we were doing other stuff…”
HARRY: (nuzzling his neck, holding him tight against his chest, eyes on the screen) “Hmm?”
BEAU: (bounces on Harry’s lap pointedly) “Other stuff?”
HARRY: “Not tonight…Sleep tonight.”
BEAU: (chuckles) “What? What is this? You’re housebreaking me?”
HARRY: (running his fingers up and down Beau’s back) “I like going slow.”
BEAU: (sighs heavily, pushes away again so they can look at each other) “Look, I don’t know
how often you do this—“
HARRY: “Often.”
BEAU: “Right.
HARRY: “I do this all the time. This is what I do. I do boys like this, like you. I know what
happens. I know this stuff.”
BEAU: (opens his mouth to question him, closes it again) “Right.”
HARRY: (immediately) “Don’t leave.”
BEAU: “Um.”
HARRY: (pleading) “I’m tired. I’m sorry—woke up for work early and that’s all. I can do better.
Don’t leave. You’re…uh, you’re really cool and I think we get along a lot so give me another
chance.”
BEAU: “Right, no, yeah, sure, I mean, yeah, we can hang out. You just…” (rubbing the back of
his neck, reluctantly) “I don’t really…date, Harry.”
HARRY: “Try.”
BEAU: “I don’t think it’s for me.”
HARRY: (insistent) “One date. The date I owe you. One date. I know this all sounds weird and I
know I’m being clingy but that’s because you’re so…so what I’m looking for, it’s strange. I…I
don’t do this, at all. I’ve never been able to open up to someone like this ever and the fact that
you’re here tells me there’s something about you…I wanna try.”
BEAU: (rolling his eyes, moving to sit beside him again) “If you weren’t this attractive you’d
probably be super creepy.”
Scene 6
[Zayn - Harry Texting Thread]
07/11/14 09:14am
[HARRY] I fixed it.
[ZAYN] Fixed what?
[HARRY] The Louis thing. I fixed it.

Ill-Advised
Chapter 94: Ill-Advised
Scene 1
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 10 :50 a m, ]
HARRY: (stretching, eyes opening slowly, blinks a few times, disoriented, hears the TV, mumbles)
“You’re up early. Insomnia?”
BEAU: (sitting on the bed, cross-legged, playing Fifa on the xbox) “It’s like eleven—I ate all your
bananas.” (teasing) “All the bananas except for the one I came here for.” (chuckles) “You play?”
HARRY: (up on his elbows, confused) “Wait…what?”
BEAU: (turns towards him briefly) “Hi, Beau Brooks, one night stand where no sex happened.
How’s that hangover? I was starving and you only had bananas. I ate like nine. You skateboard? I
do too.”
HARRY: “No…” (rubbing his head, winces) “My—he—Louis does.” (yawns, sits up, still lost)
“You…?”
BEAU: “Met me at the bar yesterday.” (back to playing the game) “I stole one of your shirts—
hope you don’t mind.” (Harry’s eyes flicker down to the shirt Beau has on, he gapes, eyes wide)
“Mine stank of cigarettes—why do they even have smoking rooms, they’re dumb. Why do you
even smoke? You’re dumb—it gives you cancer, you know? Smoke weed instead.”
HARRY: “Umm…” (to himself mostly, motioning towards the shirt, Beau’s looking at the screen)
“That’s…” (gulps to wet his mouth) “That’s not mine…”
BEAU: (not paying attention) “Huh?”
HARRY: (tackles him on the bed so Beau’s on his back, climbs on top of him, Beau yelps) “Boo!”
BEAU: (sassy) “That’s not how you pronounce it.” (eyeing the TV) “What are you doing?”
HARRY: (tries to kiss him, Beau pulls away to look at the screen, still playing, Harry reaches for
his neck instead) “What I didn’t do yesterday…”
BEAU: (trying to sit up again, struggling to look around Harry) “But I’m winning—”
HARRY: (lays a few gentle kisses on his neck before burying his nose and sniffing, aroused)
“Pause it.”
BEAU: (oblivious) “You can’t pause xbox live, moron.” (Harry’s gets frantic, runs his hands up
Beau’s body, rocking against him, Beau chuckles) “Oh, someone’s packing heat, huh? Where was
this yesterday?”
HARRY: “On the floor.” (bites his neck roughly, Beau lets him but doesn’t stop playing, Harry
moans quietly in longing, under his breath) “You smell like him.”
BEAU: “What?”
HARRY: (husky) “This isn’t a clean shirt.”
BEAU: “Yuck. Sorry, I couldn’t distinguish what with your method of laundry. It smelled decent.”
HARRY: (without thinking) “Smells heavenly.”
BEAU: “Lemme finish this match first.”
HARRY: “No. Now.” (grabs the controller, yanks it from Beau’s hands, kisses him at the same
time, Beau’s concerns are muffled, pulls away, smirks at him, Beau rolls his eyes, pulls Harry
down for another kiss, they make out, game forgotten) “You can play later while I make you
pancakes.” (hands under Beau’s shirt, gripping the shirt instead of touching skin) “If we do this for
a bit…”
BEAU: “Pancakes? Nah, I need to go home make sure the twins haven’t killed my dog.”
HARRY: (pulls away, frowning) “You’re going…?“
BEAU: “Uh, yeah?”
HARRY: “Why?”
BEAU: “Because that’s what people do…?”
HARRY: “You can stay as long as you want. I have today off. We can play, watch movies, eat,
cuddle.” (hugs him closely again) “Lots of cuddle.”
BEAU: “I smell.”
HARRY: “Shower here. I’ll give you clothes…”
BEAU: (rolls his eyes) “I need to go home. I’ll see you again. Soon probably.” (Harry bites his lip,
obviously worried) “I’m not just saying that to get rid of you. I’m going surfing this weekend. You
can come if you want.”
HARRY: (pouts) “You can play more if you want?” (picks up the controller, puts it on Beau’s
chest) “Here. You can win again. I’m sorry I made you lose.”
BEAU: (amused) “Are you bribing me?”
HARRY: (cuddles his face in Beau’s shirt, one hand still gripping it between his fingers) “Yesh. Is
it working?”
BEAU: “Not quite.” (Harry ‘oh-s’ all sad, Beau starts playing with his hair) “You know what I
texted my bros yesterday—I have two brothers by the way. They’re twins. They take advantage of
me being here by partying every damned night.”
HARRY: (not paying attention, has his eyes closed, smile on his face) “Hmm…”
BEAU: “I told them if I don’t come back today a curly-haired ax murderer has stolen my organs.”
HARRY: (nuzzles his face further, nose in the crook of Beau’s arm) “Why?”
BEAU: “Because you’re way too loved up to be sane—Are you smelling my armpit?” (pushes
Harry’s head up) “Okay, that’s weird.”
HARRY: (smiling shyly) “But good weird?”
BEAU: “Weird weird…” (Harry gulps, smile falls) “Are you gonna kill me now?”
HARRY: “I’m gonna kiss you.” (leans down, Beau stops him, cupping his face) “No? You
don’t…?”
BEAU: “What’s the story?”
HARRY: “What story?”
BEAU: “There’s a story here and I don’t care what it is but if we’re gonna keep doing this—
whatever this cuddling-thing is—I need to know the story…are you? Is this like a fetish of sorts?
Or are you just lovey-dovey…? Is this your first time? Do you not know the rules? What’s the plot
line?”
HARRY: “There’s no story. We’re hooking up.”
BEAU: “We’re not though. People don’t kiss hookups like that. They don’t hug and ask them to
watch movies. They certainly don’t cling to them at night like they might wake up to them gone.
This is not a hook-up, bud. It’s some deep shit and I don’t know how we got here because I never
gave you hope—” (raises an eyebrow) “Are you crying? Jesus Christ, I’m not trained for this.”
HARRY: (quickly sitting up, wiping his eyes on his arm) “I’m sorry. God, I’m…I’m having a bad
day. I’m not like this, I swear. It’s just today. I can be normal and I can do that thing, the hook-up.”
BEAU: “Tell me the story.” (Harry looks defeated, Beau groans, crawls to sit beside him) “Okay,
you beautiful psycho, I should have run out the door yesterday and I’m sticking around for some
reason because damn it, you need it and I never do shit for anyone but hell, you crying is like my
puppy yelping when I step on his tail and…” (another groan) “And tell me what’s happening so I
can make sense of things. It can’t be worse than what I’m already thinking.”
HARRY: “What are you thinking?”
BEAU: “That you’re a psycho ready that’s never going to let me leave this room?”
HARRY: (wet snort) “Yeah, probably.”
BEAU: “Not funny.”
HARRY: “Sorry.” (shrugs pathetically) “There is no story…I’m in love.” (Beau looks

scandalized, Harry catches on) “Not with you. No. I’m in love with someone and he doesn’t love
me back. That’s the story. The end.”
BEAU: “Oh…” (a beat later) “You’re heartbroken…” (Harry nods) “And rebounding…?” (Harry
shrugs, Beau waits a bit longer then cautiously) “And I look like him.”
HARRY: (sobs without tears, curls into himself, head on his arms, knees to his chest) “I’m sorry.”
BEAU: “Huh. Well, that can’t be healthy.” (Harry shakes his head, eyes down) “But… If we
hypothetically were to not care about that…” (Harry raises his head, cheeks wet, eyes big and
hopeful) “Oh, don’t look at me like that—I’m the hookup, right, not your friend or your therapist or
your conscience. Right?”
HARRY: “Right.”
BEAU: “So I’m gonna suggest bad ideas because I’m a horrible influence and all that I’ll say will
probably cause more trouble than it solves. I’m that little devil in your ear, most likely ruining your
life.”
HARRY: “Right…”
BEAU: “We should role-play.”
HARRY: (frozen) “What?”
BEAU: (crawls towards him) “Role-play.” (climbs on Harry’s lap, Harry remains immobile) “Just
remember…” (slowly pushing Harry on his back, straddles him) “This is the worst idea in the
world.” (Harry gulps, wets his lips in anticipation, still somewhat scared) “I’m having you sign a
verbal waiver here so I don’t feel too guilty about how good this is gonna be now that I know
exactly how to flip the switch with you.”
HARRY: “I don’t exactly…um…”
BEAU: (takes off his own shirt and drops it on Harry’s face, covering his eyes) “What’s his
name?”
HARRY: (shaking now, breathy) “What?”
BEAU: (lowers down, kisses Harry’s lips, Harry is slow to respond) “Or should I say…” (kisses
down Harry’s chest,) “What’s my name?”
HARRY: (one of his hands gingerly moves to touch Beau’s hair as Beau kisses down his stomach,
voice half-guilty, half-aroused) “Louis…”
Scene 2
[Lobby Bar, Walt Disney Hotel in Florida, 6:55pm, ]
ZAYN: (sitting at a table across from each other) “Well that’s absolutely demented.”
HARRY: “I know.”
ZAYN: “You fucked him?”
HARRY: “No. He’s too young.” (lower, more ashamed) “He just…sucked me off.”
ZAYN: (raises an eyebrow, dry) “Not too young to suck dick apparently.”
HARRY: “He’s a virgin. I don’t take virginities.”
ZAYN: “You just make one-night-stands act out your sex fantasies.”
HARRY: (covering his face, through grit teeth) “I didn’t make anyone do anything.” (flushed red)
“He suggested it. He caught me off-guard.”
ZAYN: “He suggested what? That he wears Louis’ clothes during? That’s demented, Harry.”
HARRY: “No, he already had the shirt on. Accidentally. It wasn’t like planned—This wasn’t me.
He just…” (wrings his hands in discomfort) “Blindfolded me.” (choked up) “And let me call him,
you know, during…”
ZAYN: “He let you call him ‘Louis’ as he sucked your cock and made you come?” (Harry squirms
in his seat) “Have you lost your mind?”
HARRY: “I have. I know. I have, I just. I’m confessing my sins.” (grabs Zayn’s hand) “I feel
guilty too. I know it’s bad. He said it was going to be bad. We both know. No secret that normal
people don’t do this.”
ZAYN: “What was bad? The blow job?”
HARRY: “No. That was good. He liked that.“
ZAYN: “How could he possibly—“
HARRY: (blushes in memory, avoiding Zayn’s eyes) “He said he likes how wild I get…”
ZAYN: “For Louis. For Louis, Harry. You get wild for Louis, not this, this bizarre lookalike
double—this is weird!”
HARRY: “It’s sick.” (dramatically) “Oh, it’s so sick. It’s ill. I’m ill.” (placing his face in his
hands) “Help.”
ZAYN: “Did you enjoy it?”
HARRY: (guilty) “Yeah…”
ZAYN: “How much?”
HARRY: “A lot. I…I was so horny. It was really good.”
ZAYN: (whiny) “Harry.”
ZAYN: “Was it better than our sex?”
HARRY: (immediately) “Yes. It was really good.”
ZAYN: “This is bad. This is so bad.”
ZAYN: “And you’ll probably do it again?” (Harry fidgets, looks down) “Right?”
HARRY: (mumbled) “He’s sleeping over tonight.”
ZAYN: “Again? You just met, what is he fucking moving in now?” (Harry looks helpless) “Harry,
you can’t dress him up like a doll and have him play Fifa on your bed. He’s not a toy. And he’s not
what you want. How much does he know?”
HARRY: “Bare minimum. He knows I love Louis, that they look alike—“
ZAYN: “You mean are practically the same person.”
HARRY: “Look alike. That’s all he knows. That’s all there is really. I know they’re different
people.”
ZAYN: “Does he make you happy? Are you happy right now? With this?”
HARRY: (shrugs) “I’m guilty.”
ZAYN: “Forget that for a second. If that was all good, which it’s not, would you be happy?”
HARRY: (shrugs again, stalls, palms his face) “I mean, no.”
ZAYN: “No?”
HARRY: “What do you want me to say? I miss Louis. It’s been a day, a crazy day, and I miss him.
That’s gonna be there always. He’s my happy, that’s that. I can’t think about happy. I just need to
figure out how to be content. How to be a little less in pain, maybe this is it—god, it’s so selfish of
me but then again when haven’t I been selfish in relationships?”
ZAYN: (pursing his lips) “It’s selfish.”
HARRY: “But he’s making it so easy.”
ZAYN: “Faux-Louis?”
HARRY: “Don’t call him that. It makes it worse. But yeah. Beau makes it easy to use him and
he’s using me just as much, if not more. He doesn’t care—He knows what he wants and that’s not
me dating him. It’s easy to think no one will get hurt, that it’s harmless.”
ZAYN: “But people will get hurt. You, for one, are hurt.”
HARRY: “At least Louis—“
ZAYN: “He’s hurt too. And if he ever hears of this—this Shakespearian sex bullshit, god, he’ll
punch your face open. And I’m gonna let him.”
HARRY: (desperate) “What am I supposed to do?”
ZAYN: “Not do that weird shit. Don’t do that. End. Please, or lie to me or something so I’m less
disturbed.”
HARRY: “Fine, what if I didn’t then—“
ZAYN: “Not what if you didn’t. You won’t.”
HARRY: “Then what? I have told him, Lou, I have said everything I could about how much I…”
(stalls) “How much I wanna ruin this friendship. I’ve told him and he freaked out and I care for
him too much to lose him as a friend. Now I can be there—“
ZAYN: (sarcastic) “Can you? You seem a bit busy at the moment.”
HARRY: “Beau’s temporary.” (winces) “I don’t mean it…in a bad way. I don’t…” (sighs heavily)
ZAYN: “This isn’t you.”
HARRY: “I’ve changed.”
ZAYN: “Harry, just because you’ve managed to fool a kid into thinking you actually hook up and
fuck ass or whatever line you told him doesn’t mean you have changed. You can put up a front all
you like, I’ve known you long enough to see past it.”
HARRY: “I have changed. Before I was a loser but now, ever since I’ve met Louis, I have changed
and this guy doesn’t have to deal with the loser me. He sees the new me. I can be a proper person
for him.”
ZAYN: “You were a proper person before—”
HARRY: “No, I wasn’t. I was dumb and weak and awkward. I hated myself and you hated me,
subconsciously. Now I’m better. I did that all by myself yesterday. I managed. I impressed him.
That was all me.”
ZAYN: (looks at him sadly) “You can’t both act as people you’re not and hope a relationship will
work.”
HARRY: “Maybe I met Louis to prepare for Beau. Maybe that was it.”
ZAYN: “You don’t believe that. You winced just saying it.”
HARRY: “Maybe I don’t wanna get hurt, you know? Maybe I’m giving up because I’m done
getting hurt.” (brokenly) “Is that selfish? Does that make me a coward? Is that an option I no
longer have?”
ZAYN: “And you coming to my room in tears is not you being hurt?”
HARRY: “I panicked because I thought what I did was wrong.”
ZAYN: “It was. But even without that, you’d have been hurt. You were hurt before Ben even
entered the picture.”
HARRY: “It’s Beau.”
ZAYN: “Whatever the damn it is. You’re already hurt and you’re trying to mask it with these
dumb delusions of new boyfriends and hookups. You’re not fooling anyone, not even yourself.”
HARRY: (shattered) “I was in love with you too at some point, Zayn. I got over that…”
ZAYN: “When?”
HARRY: (shrugs, throws his drink back) “Whenever.”
ZAYN: “When you met someone who made you realize that what you felt for me and Ed was
petty in comparison.”
HARRY: (gulps, eyes welling up in tears, coughs) “No.” (trying to put on a brave face) “No,
that’s what I always think. That’s what I thought with you and Ed. I thought you guys were it too. I
always think that. I’m desperate, thirst…for love, for someone to love. I’ve always been like this.
Since middle-school, remember? Always hoping someone would…be there. I latch on to anything
that looks my way. I’m a dog. I should have been born a dog. Would probably end up never
adopted because I cried too much when the owners left.”
ZAYN: “If you thought Ed was the end, you’d be married. You didn’t think that. You actually
knew in your gut that he wasn’t it. And I was a default.” (Harry looks offended, ready to speak,
Zayn reassures him) “You loved me, yes, but because you confused all that we’ve been through—
all that gratitude and closeness for romantic love. It was hopeful. It would have been awesome if
the person who had supported you all this time was also who you ended up spending a life with. It
would have been a good fairytale and you had to try it, the same way I did.”
HARRY: “Fairytales don’t exist. Louis was right there.”
ZAYN: “Speaking of Louis, what do you feel about him? Truly?”
HARRY: “He’s impressive.”
ZAYN: “Saying it won’t make it any more real than it already is.”
HARRY: “It will. If you want to rip my insides open you’ll make me say that I am so committed
to him I’m willing to be emotionally stunted for the rest of my life if he stays by my side with a
smile on his face. Me, the kid who puts love first above everything, is willing to sacrifice being
loved if he’s okay.”
ZAYN: “And Beau?”
HARRY: “Beau hurts. Yes, it hurts, a lot. And so does the fact that Louis suggests I should find
someone else like he doesn’t want to acknowledge the way I look at him, all starry-eyed like he
could do anything and I’d be proud of him. It hurts to know we deserve each other but there’s
something he’s not telling me, that has him paralyzed in fear every time we can, every time we
could.”
ZAYN: (winces) “Maybe you can—“
HARRY: “It hurts that I can’t help him, that he doesn’t trust me to, that I might never be able
to…” (voice shaking badly) “That he’s hurting and I’m hurting and that’s that.” (whispered) “I
promised I’d fight for him and that’s what I’m doing, holding on, clinging to the edges of my
sanity—god, I smell his stuff to get off, I had a stranger debate whether he was in bed with a
psycho, for him, so I can restrain myself around him, so I can be happy because he needs me to.”
ZAYN: (sighs heavily) “Eleanor says he’s not taking it well.”
HARRY: “How does she know?”
ZAYN: “He went to her yesterday.”
HARRY: (bitter) “Of course he did. Back to square one, that’s something you can always count on
with him. All the progress down the drain. What progress? Nothing’s better. Maybe I should have
stuck to pining after Ed and being a drooling child. Back then I believe stuff. Or maybe he should
have never spoken to me, kept hating me, kept our separate roads.”
ZAYN: “Yes, and maybe you shouldn’t have slept with me, or maybe I shouldn’t have introduced
you to Ed, or maybe you shouldn’t have gone to Columbia to meet him, and maybe I shouldn’t
have invited you to my fourth birthday party and maybe you shouldn’t have popped out of your
mom’s vagina—but you did. What are we doing here, going down the memory lane and feeling
sorry for ourselves? Every mistake you did got you here and you should be proud of here.”
HARRY: “Here where I’m pretending the love of my life wouldn’t cringe at the thought of kissing
me?”
ZAYN: “Here where you recognize that what you’re doing is killing your chances of getting this
right because you are killing him, you idiot. You are actually killing this kid with this dumb plan
and I used to scream at him for playing with you, for breaking you, when you’re here debating how
to date some hybrid that’s going to his frat-boys in a month while he’s wearing your hoodie in the
middle of July. Have you seen him today? Have you even made an effort to say hi?”
HARRY: “Why is this falling on me again? Why do I have to make every effort? I can’t fight the
battle on both fronts. I wanna fight for him but—but come on, I need a little bit back.”
ZAYN: “He’s giving it to you. He’s trying his hardest to give it to you. He waited for you all
night, he went to Eleanor, who used to be his sworn enemy, he’s still wearing the hoodie he slept
in, yours, and he told Liam that he feels wounded when the last thing the old Louis would have
done was admit vulnerability.” (sighs) “If you’re meeting the hook-up tonight make sure you say
hi to Lou first. He and Liam are baking you cupcakes and I don’t want him to interrupt your make-
believe sex.”
HARRY: (shocked speechless) “When did you starting feeling bad for him?”
ZAYN: “When you begun feeling bad for yourself.”

Intuitive
Chapter 95: Intuitive
Scene 1
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 7 :32 p m, Five]
BEAU: (on the phone, taunting) “Who did the bleeding-heart tell?”
HARRY: “I’m not a bleeding-heart.” (palms his face in exasperation) “And I’m trying to do the
right thing for all involved, that includes you.”
BEAU: (amused) “Who did you tell?”
HARRY: “No one.”
BEAU: “Who did the curly emu tell?”
HARRY: “No one. Why do you keep asking?”
BEAU: “Because obviously someone slapped some sense into you.”
HARRY: (sighs) “My best friend.”
BEAU: “Ouch, he tore you a new one we can use?”
HARRY: “He said I need to get a grip on my life.”
BEAU: “He’s right, you know?”
HARRY: “I know, that’s why I’m canceling. So I can do just that. So I can stop making mistakes.”
BEAU: (teasing) “Is Louie coming over and all over your face?”
HARRY: “Beau.”
BEAU: “Yummy, yummy, so much cummy.”
HARRY: (blushing, strangled whine) “Don’t be like this.”
BEAU: “Mhmm…get some, curly pubes.”
HARRY: (embarrassed) “Look I was in a hurry going out and didn’t think I’d—“
BEAU: “Use your downstairs when the purpose of the trip was to find a hook-up?”
HARRY: (closes his eyes) “I obviously don’t do this often.”
BEAU: “All naturale, the kale way.”
HARRY: “I shave actually. I’m very clean. I normally shave. At least once a week, more if—”
BEAU: “What is this, a Gillette commercial? Skip.”
HARRY: “Ugh, don’t come. tonight. That is all.”
BEAU: “Pity, if I’d come, you’d have come too.”
HARRY: “I’m trying to go to heaven here.”
BEAU: “Boring. Call me when you root for Satan.”
HARRY: “Give me a few days to be a normal person again before ruining my life.”
BEAU: “Fair.”
Scene 2
[Liam’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 8 :22 p m, Four]
LOUIS: (both in the kitchen, putting frosting on the cupcakes, Louis speaks up randomly) “You
know I used to be like that…”
LIAM: (too concentrated on making the frosting into a pyramid, tongue peeking out) “Like
what?”
LOUIS: “Like Harry.”
LIAM: “Shy?”
LOUIS: “Yeah, no. Well, I was never shy, I don’t think. The opposite, overly-hyper, I annoyed all
my classmates—class clown. My home room teacher didn’t think I’d make it past eighth grade.
But ha-ha, I showed her…now that I’m using my degree to entertain snotty kids.”
LIAM: (snorts, not being baited into forgetting) “You used to be like what?”
LOUIS: “Like Harry is with… Like his taste in…” (motions randomly with his hands) “Eh.”
LIAM: (eyes wide) “Gay?”
LOUIS: (flushes immediately, backtracks) “No! Of course not, not gay necessarily…I’m not…
Not…Just—“ (shrugs, visibly uncomfortable) “Like confused about how I felt about someone,
about a person, a guy, man, boy. Once, just once, you know? Whatever that…means, I guess.”
LIAM: “Confused…” (Louis nods) “I don’t know…if I understand.”
LOUIS: “Like…” (squirms a bit, curling his shoulders inward) “Liked him diff—differently, let’s
say. I was a kid, I didn’t know better…” (struggling to explain) “Didn’t know what stuff mattered
and what was wrong and right and general confusion.”
LIAM: “Being gay isn’t wrong though.”
LOUIS: “No, no. It’s not. I don’t…”
LIAM: “It’s just something you are.”

LOUIS: “One is.”
LIAM: “Huh?”
LOUIS: “One is. Something one is.” (Liam is staring at him, Louis awkwardly snaps back into
looking at the cupcakes) “Yeah. I get that. You’ve said, everyone has. I get it now.”
LIAM: (closes his mouth, slowly nodding) “So, you were like…bi then?”
LOUIS: “No, not at all, don’t put labels on it. It wasn’t like an official thing. It was one guy—that
doesn’t mean anything. Who hasn’t thought of guys that way at some point in their life?”
LIAM: “I have.” (chuckles) “Was actually a bit disappointed I couldn’t swing all ways.” (another
chuckle that Louis joins in forcefully, looking pained) “Would be fun.”
LOUIS: “Fun. Right. Well…” (pause) “Yeah, that’s right. Like that. I thought I liked this guy a lot
and he was—“ (sad smile) “Well, he ended up being an ass so…so that goes to say that—that I
probably wasn’t supposed to—“
LIAM: “I don’t see how someone being a bad person falls on you—“
LOUIS: “It falls on me for liking him, right? I made the mistake of liking him and he was an ass,
that’s all. I don’t think those are correlated, like yeah, I don’t think everyone I like will be bad,
that…I don’t know what I’m talking about anymore, sorry. It’s late and I didn’t sleep at all last
night so I’m all over the place.” (tangenting) “Um, are you and Sophia talking now?”
LIAM: “Here and there.” (casually maybe) “You liked a guy just randomly once then?”
LOUIS: “Exactly. Just once. I thought of it and—and was okay with it for a bit and uhh, well,
anyway, it’s not important.” (shakes his head) “Was just saying to…to…” (winces openly) “To
mean that I know how he feels, Harry, I’ve been there and it sucks to be there.”
LIAM: “Be where?”
LOUIS: (gulps) “Liking someone that you’re not supposed to.” (agonized snort) “Getting…”
(cracked voice) “Hurt…about it. Because of it.” (another attempt at evading) “We’ve all had the
crush in middle-school, right?” (rambling at light-speed) “I used to have awful punk hair, the punk
phase, that was big, everyone was doing that for a while, being punk and dumb about it, and no one
would give me roses on Valentine’s day—And you, weren’t you like a fat kid in school and bullied
and let’s talk about that—we’ve all been there.”
LIAM: (opens his mouth, a lot to take in) “Ah-uh, right. Fat, bullies, uh middle-school. That was a
lot…” (purses his lips, trying to recollect his thoughts) “Harry, uh, Harry what, Harry likes
someone?”
LOUIS: “Me.” (laughs without humor) “Crazy, right?”
LIAM: “He said that?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “It’s—“ (twitchy) “He liked you too at some point and Zayn—hell, loved Zayn.
He loves a lot of people.”
LIAM: “He loves you?”

LOUIS: “I love him, like—like Niall. Niall said we all love each other.” (burdened exhale) “I love
you too…” (his face crumples) “Somewhat, platonically. This is turning really—really cheesy and
man, I am so sorry we’re not talking about sports right now and matey stuff.”
LIAM: “I thought you were doing the thing, where you open up to me, as a friend and I was liking
it.”
LOUIS: “I was. I did. I…” (bites his lip) “Uh, never…do that. Tell people that. That specific story
or confess that. You’re just, open to this stuff so I thought why not…Not that it changes anything.”
LIAM: “I’m going to go back to that Harry thing—“
LOUIS: (urgent) “There’s no Harry thing. Nothing. Just, during the wedding, it seemed like…”
LIAM: “Like?”
LOUIS: “Like we were close.”
LIAM: “Is that new?”
LOUIS: (speechless, lost, after a few seconds) “He might… like me. Uh…” (looks at Liam who
blinks back patiently) “Not like I like him.”
LIAM: “How do you like him?”
LOUIS: (clearly uncomfortable, avoiding eye-contact) “Like I like you.”
LIAM: “And how does he like you?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “Like he likes…” (choked) “Zayn. Maybe. You’d have to ask him.” (plastic grin)
“Crazy, right?” (slapping more frosting than necessary on the single cupcake he’s being working
on) “How crazy that he’d even…like what? Me? How crazy. What…what craziness.”
LIAM: (deadpanned) “Crazy.”
LOUIS: “Well, we talked about it and seem to understand each other very well. He’s…” (licks his
lips) “Finding someone to fulfill those desires for him, someone I’m sure who’s so…”
LIAM: (helping him) “Gay?”
LOUIS: “Gay. That’s right. So gay, like Harry’s gay and they can be gay together. That’s—that’s
a requirement, right there if I ever knew one.” (embarrassing chuckle) “He’s dating and I’m giving
him space to do that—“
LIAM: “By baking him cupcakes?”
LOUIS: “It’s a gift. A congratulatory gift. I’m proud of him for…for…” (nonsensical words,
motions) “I mean who would have thought he had it in him to do this?” (high-pitched) “How great
is that! How, how…utterly awesome and fantastic and appropriate and well-thought for our
friendships that he would uh find someone to be with him like that and…” (awkward) “Great.”
(through his teeth) “S—so proud.”
LIAM: (shaking the disbelief from his features) “This is painful.”

LOUIS: “I agree. Let’s not talk about it anymore. We tried. The thing. It went well. I feel better
about this.”
LIAM: “I don’t.” (rubbing his chin thoughtfully) “Say, did he…” (very cautious) “Say he was
like…” (rolls his eyes to hide how serious he is) “Like in love with you or something like that?”
LOUIS: “No!” (hurriedly) “No. No, no, no…not at all. Nope. Not like…No. How could—no,
that’s… In love, wow, that’s—I don’t think that’s how we relate to each other.”
LIAM: “Oh.” (both looking at each other without words) “Good to know.” (then) “It’d be good if
he did too. It’s good either way. Nothing wrong with loving someone.”
LOUIS: (looking away, gulping discretely, forced smile on his lips) “Nothing at all.”
LIAM: (goes back to work) “We better finish these up. He’d be surprised to note you didn’t burn
the hotel down this time.” (genuine chuckle) “Hell, I’ll lie and say you chose the recipe and
everything. He’ll be proud.”
LOUIS: (to himself) “Proud, yeah. He will be… I’m sure.”
Scene 3
[Louis’ Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 9 :10 p m, Three]
ASHTON: (picking up the call, excited audibly) “Louis, hi. You called. But you said—weren’t
you going to call on Friday? Anyhow, I’ll let you know I managed to kick-flip. You could say my
break’s been productive.”
LOUIS: (sitting on the bed, sad chuckle) “Hi, bud. Great to hear. Someone’s catching up quick.”
ASHTON: “Isn’t it late over there? Do you miss me? I plan to come back with a bang. Mother
says she wants to send you a shirt with a kangaroo. I told her it was too touristy and you’re too
classy for that.”
LOUIS: “I bet.” (quieter) “I bet… I do miss you. It’s been a complicated couple of weeks.”
ASHTON: “Weren’t you in London?”
LOUIS: “Cheshire. Harry’s sister got married. It was…complicated.”
ASHTON: “Did you sleep with her before the wedding, you hunk? Luke says you came back
glowing—ooh, bridesmaid sex.”
LOUIS: “No, I wish. I mean—I don’t wish. I don’t wish that but I wish my problem was that
because that’s a simple problem.”
ASHTON: “Woah, what’s complicated if that’s simple? Did you get gono? That’s treatable,
apparently. Luke says. Luke is coming to visit because he’s crazy.”
LOUIS: (under his breath) “About you.”
ASHTON: “Huh?”
LOUIS: “He didn’t tell me he’s leaving…” (meant to be a joke, came out strangled) “Is everyone
leaving now?”
ASHTON: “Only for a bit. You could have come with but you already had a break. Simon won’t
let you off quickly—if I’m back, which I will be, Simon says I could be something different—like
Winnie the Pooh. Then I’d get to be with Liam.”
LOUIS: “Cool. Was with Liam just now actually. He sends his regards. We were baking
cupcakes.”
ASHTON: “Is the hotel alive?”
LOUIS: (smiles) “Standing.”
ASHTON: “Impressive. So…? What’s up with you? What’s complicated?”
LOUIS: “I was thinking…” (long silence, Louis closes his eyes, bites his lip, talks with his eyes
scrunched shut in preparation) “Was thinking of…relapsing. Once. For—for uh, for old time’s
sake…”
ASHTON: (breathy) “What?”
LOUIS: (gulps) “Just doing it again once. Just…”
ASHTON: “Doing…what? Drinking? Getting wasted? Something like that—drugs…girls?”
LOUIS: “Uhm…no…”
ASHTON: (hesitant, obviously playing dumb) “What then? Relapsing in…in…Are you out? With
the guys?”
LOUIS: (voice weaker) “M in my room. Thinking. Alone. Thinking about life and…”
ASHTON: “Is this…like a joke? I thought this was—did you call me to—huh…” (realizing) “Did
you call me to forbid you or allow you, Louis?”
LOUIS: (guilty) “I don’t know… Perhaps I shouldn’t have called. It’s not fair. To you. It’s…
triggering. But I thought you’d get it better than anyone, the itch, the…the need, really. And maybe
yeah, like you said, you’d allow it. God knows no one else would. If I called someone—Niall—
He’d say no, of course. It’s…not something you do. He’d be over here in a flash, worrying and
hovering. I don’t need that. I don’t need monitoring. I know what’s what—I haven’t lost that.”
ASHTON: “…Lou, you haven’t in years. You don’t do that anymore—It’s not even part of—of.
You don’t even think about.”
LOUIS: “It’s always part of you, me, anyone who does it. And I’ve been thinking about it.
Recently. A lot. It’s been on my mind a lot.”
ASHTON: “Why?”
LOUIS: (shaking his head, blowing air in his cheeks, exhaling in frustration) “I’m…it’s…”
ASHTON: “Lemme guess, complicated?”
LOUIS: (breathy chuckle) “Yeah. It is. I’m feeling…spaced out. Weird, not in control—inside
myself, like I’m floating, like something—“ (voice crack) “Something punched me out of my body
and I’ve struggled to hold on ever since and now I’m worried I will never ground myself again
unless I do this. Like I’ll be no one forever, separate—weirdly not feeling all the pain on my body.
Drugged almost.”
ASHTON: “You’ve had thoughts like this before but you’ve managed to get a grip. This is no
different.”
LOUIS: “It’s different.”
ASHTON: “How is it different?”
LOUIS: “I want to punish myself. I feel angry. I’m very angry. All I feel is anger and it’s painful—
It’s overwhelming inside. I feel so full of it, I have no room for anything else.”
ASHTON: “At who? What happened?”
LOUIS: (small) “Harry’s dating, Ash.”
ASHTON: (heavy, grave, understanding) “Oh…”
LOUIS: (quickly) “And I want him to. I want him to do that and be happy. But he’s not happy.
Because I’m a fuck-up who drags everyone around me down with me and he’s in too deep now,
way too deep. He’s told me—I knew—I see it in his eyes. He cares too much. He mirrors me when
I feel bad—does it without even noticing. I’m hurting him. I’m furious at myself for hurting him—
I hate doing it but can’t seem to stop. I’m outside, looking on, screaming to stop doing that. He
won’t listen, no one will. I won’t listen to myself.”
ASHTON: “Wouldn’t hurting yourself hurt him more by that definition?”
LOUIS: (stunned) “I…”
ASHTON: “Isn’t it selfish in a way?”
LOUIS: (whispered) “It’s just once.”
ASHTON: “Once is never just once and even if it is, what about your streak? You’ve been clean
so long that it’d suck to break that for what, for a good thing. This is a good thing. He cares about
you truly—He sees everything and cares!”
LOUIS: “Not everything.”
ASHTON: “Doesn’t he know now?”
LOUIS: “Not everything, Ash. No one gets to see everything but me.”
ASHTON: (getting desperate) “You’re—you’re happy with him.”
LOUIS: “Things have changed, Ash. They’re not light anymore. It’s not all jokes and stuff. It’s
real now. It’s about real things—these are real people getting shattered—real feelings. This isn’t a
game anymore.”
ASHTON: “It never was.”

LOUIS: (teary) “I have spent so much time building him up that I can’t be the thing that breaks
him again. And right now I don’t have control over my body. I’m a wrecking ball. Everything
around me is going to be in danger. So I either have to push him away or take charge again and I
can’t…live with the first option so yeah, maybe you’re right. Maybe this is selfish. Maybe this is
the most selfish I’ve ever done.” (dark, sad, raw chuckle) “And that’s saying a lot.”
Scene 4
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 12 :42 a m, Two]
HARRY: (on the phone, worried) “Is he not coming over?”
ZAYN: “I don’t know, H. I’m not with him.”
HARRY: “Is Liam with him?”
ZAYN: “I don’t know. I’m not with Liam either.”
HARRY: “I’m just saying. It’s late and I don’t want him to be homeless.”
ZAYN: “He has a home.”
HARRY: “And he’s not in it.”
ZAYN: (stumbles) “He has a different home too. Have you checked his room?”
HARRY: “Should I?”
ZAYN: “Probably? If you wanna find him? Or, I don’t know, call him?”
HARRY: “He’s not replying. I said this already. Are you listening?”
ZAYN: “Call Liam. Is he not replying either? Maybe he’s asleep, both are. It’s late enough. Call
him tomorrow.”
HARRY: “Tomorrow might be too late.”
ZAYN: “Too late for what?”
HARRY: (squeaky) “For him to be alive.”
ZAYN: “Harry.”
HARRY: “I’m serious, this could be serious.”
ZAYN: “You’re being paranoid. Go to bed. He’ll probably be in the parking lot tomorrow,
dragging your ass to Disney for Simon to fry it after you skipped yesterday.”
HARRY: “I’m worried. I have…” (takes a deep breath) “A bad feeling. I have an…intuition.”
ZAYN: (sighs) “You have had a very long day. You feel guilty and confused and tired and—“
HARRY: (angry) “Don’t tell me how I feel. I don’t need you to. They’re my emotions. I get to
label them and I’m telling you it’s not that. It’s a bad feeling. He’s not safe.”
ZAYN: “What do you want to do, call 911 because your conscience hurts?”
HARRY: “My conscience doesn’t fucking hurt, Zayn! That’s not it. That’s not it, dammit. I’m not
trying to throw a tantrum for attention. I don’t need your attention right now. I need to know he’s
okay.”
ZAYN: (frustrated) “Again, what can I do? What do you want us to do? Release the drug
hounds?”
HARRY: “Yeah, remember when he did that stupid drug thing?”
ZAYN: “He was fine then.”
HARRY: “No, he wasn’t. He went through hell and definitely couldn’t be left alone—you were
there, come on, we all stayed. It wasn’t nothing.”
ZAYN: “You’re right, it wasn’t but he wouldn’t do that again. Why would he?”
HARRY: “Because I’m a fuck-up and I’ve been nothing but a selfish bastard and he’s out there
maybe dying and I—“
ZAYN: “Don’t do this again.”
HARRY: (trying to control his breathing) “I’m not. I’m not…I don’t…Just.” (stops, takes another
breath, shudders on the exhale) “Just, help me find him.”
ZAYN: “Check his room. If he isn’t there, we’ll send out the search party, okay?”
HARRY: “Alright. Okay. Yeah. Thanks.”
ZAYN: “You need me to come with?”
HARRY: “No, I have it.”
ZAYN: “You sure?”
HARRY: “I’m sure. I can handle it. It’s…” (gulps) “Probably nothing. He’s probably just mad at
me and ignoring me. Hopefully.”
Scene 5
[Outside Louis’ Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 1 :09am, One]
HARRY: (pacing down the hallway, on the phone) “Zayn, he’s not here?”
ZAYN: “Really?”
HARRY: “I’ve tried knocking and calling for him and… Is he out? Who with though? He has
work tomorrow…”
ZAYN: (starting to get worried) “I don’t know.”
HARRY: “I’ll get the key downstairs. Call Sandy or Josh. I’ll text you if he’s in here.”
ZAYN: “Doing what? What could the idiot possibly be doing not to answer?”
HARRY: “Sleeping?”
ZAYN: “Harry, do you need help?”
HARRY: (determined) “No. If he’s here and doesn’t want me to enter, he definitely doesn’t want
you. I’ll take care of him. I did this to begin with.”
ZAYN: “Don’t put this on yourself. You can’t handle this much weight—”
HARRY: “I’m not putting anything on myself that doesn’t belong there. I messed up—I need to
fix shit. You can’t do it for me. Ask the others.” (hangs up, knocks on the door again slowly)
“Louis?” (forehead on the door) “Lou, darling, if you’re in there, open the door please.” (forced
chuckle) “Listen, love, open the door, tell me to fuck off and go back inside. That’s all I need,
alright?” (no response, Harry bites his lip, stays strong) “Remember when…when I got really sick
and you came to check on me? You were worried, right? I’m worried too. And we both agree that
worry goes beyond being angry. It doesn’t matter if we’re fighting or not, well-being transcends
that so let me know you’re okay please.” (still no movement from the inside) “I’m going to get the
key from the lobby now so I’m going to come in…” (finally somewhat breaking, pleading)
“Louis?”
Illuminate
Chapter 96: Illuminate
[Louis’ Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 1 :14 a m, Zero]
HARRY: (opens the door, walks in gingerly, lights are off) “Louis? Are you home?” (turns on the
light of the hallway to inch further in) “Lou?“ (enters the room, looks around, spots him) “Jesus
fuck—!“ (Louis is passed out on the bed, blood on the bottom half of his body, on the white sheets,
on his hands) “Oh my god.“ (leans on the wall, panicking, hand over his mouth, rash breaths) “Oh
my god. Oh my god.“ (screechy, nailed to the spot) “Oh my fucking god—Louis!”
(hyperventilating) “What did you do? What did you do?” (breaking down) “What did you do, you
fucking baby, my fucking baby…“ (catches himself, lets out a quick, shaky breath) “Okay.” (takes
a deeper breath, exhales) “Okay, think, stop, think, phone, phone, phone…Shit.” (looks at Louis
again, bites his lip) “Shit.” (palms his face, whispering to himself) “You can do this. I can do this.
Think. Go.” (walks shakily towards the bed, holding back tears) “Lou, babe, love—“ (sits on the
bed, hands trembling as he reaches out for Louis’ cheek) “Louis?” (grabs him by the shoulder,
starts shaking him) “Lou, please—“ (shakes him harder) “Louis!”
LOUIS: (opens his eyes slowly, face scrunched up in sleep, looks at Harry, blinks, realizes) “What
the hell—What—“ (startles up, jumps away) “Harry?” (looks around confused) “What are you—
Did you sneak it? Are you mad?“
HARRY: (in disbelief) “Mad? Mad? Yes, I’m mad. I’m furious. I thought you had died, you
moron—you idiot—you—you…how could you do this to me? Don’t ever do this to me again.”
LOUIS: “Do what? What are you talking about?”
HARRY: (pauses to breathe, tries to speak calmly, an edge to his voice) “You’re bleeding. We
need to call an ambulance, you’re bleeding, babe. Let me help you up.”
LOUIS: (frowning) “How did you get in?”
HARRY: “You’re hurt.” (flinging the sheets back to check the damage, Louis thighs are covered
in dried blood) “What happened?” ( instinctively tries to bring him closer by grabbing Louis’
forearm and pulling) “Let me see, darling—“
LOUIS: (pushes him back) “Get off—Wait, wait, explain first—What are you doing?”
HARRY: “We’ve been calling and knocking and you didn’t reply and you’re bleeding.” (tries to
put an arm under Louis’ legs to pick him up) “I need to take you to the hospital, please.”
LOUIS: “Hospital? What? Why? I’m okay—“ (notices where Harry is looking, looks down,
gapes) “Oh…”
HARRY: “What happened?”
LOUIS: (ashamed) “What—with…with that? This? That’s. It’s nothing. I’m okay.”
HARRY: “It’s blood…right?”

HARRY: “It’s not?”
LOUIS: “I mean, yes, it is but it’s not bad.“
HARRY: (scrunches the sheet, uses it to wipe at Louis’ legs and shirt) “We need to get it checked.
You were passed out. It could be bad. Could be a tumor or—“
LOUIS: “It’s not a tumor…” (sees Harry’s not convinced, still frowning in concern, cleaning the
blood near Louis’ boxers) “It’s not—Harry. No. It’s—Harry.” (pushing Harry’s hands away from
his body, Harry whimpers) “Enough. Harry.” (grabs the bloody sheet, throws it aside, holds
Harry’s hands in between his own, squeezes them to get Harry’s attention) “Stop. Look at me.”
(Harry’s eyes find his) “Stop a second.”
HARRY: “Does it hurt?”
LOUIS: “No, it does not. It’s nothing. It’s…” (can’t form the words, gulps, looks down)
HARRY: “It’s what?”
LOUIS: (looks at Harry again) “I took a couple of sleeping pills because I couldn’t fall asleep.”
HARRY: “Because I wasn’t here?”
LOUIS: (obviously yes, tries to hide it) “N—no. Insomnia, remember?” (shrugs quickly) “I must
have not heard the door. It’s late. I was just sleeping. I’m fine, completely. Perfectly fine.”
HARRY: “But you’re bleeding.”
LOUIS: “That’s a different story.”
HARRY: “Is it a side-effect? Did you take too many?”
LOUIS: (pained) “Harry…”
HARRY: “Can I see? I’ll get the lights, let me take a look—“
LOUIS: (grabs him by the shirt, yanks him down, frazzled) “You don’t have to.”
HARRY: “Yes—“
LOUIS: “No!” (Harry pauses) “No, don’t turn on the lights.”
HARRY: “But—“`
LOUIS: “I get it. I’m bleeding. I’m bloody. It’s everywhere. I know. I…” (struggles) “I did it on
purpose. I know.”
HARRY: “What?”
LOUIS: (looks down sadly) “I needed something.”
HARRY: “You…you did it…you…”
LOUIS: (can’t meet his eyes, clutches Harry’s hand) “I cut again, yeah. I…I did it again. Just. Just
a bit, a few times, nothing much, nothing bad.”
HARRY: (pulls him into a hug, strangled) “Why?”
LOUIS: (mumbled against Harry’s shoulder) “I…wanted to sleep tonight. I was so tired of
thinking and I… It must have opened up over night. It’s not a lot. I know it looks like it’s tons of
blood and like I’m going to die but—“(Harry is silently sobbing, body shaking, one of his hands
around Louis’ waist, the other in his hair, clinging on) “It looks worse—“ (gulps guiltily, pleading)
“Haz, it’s…not bad. I promise—“
HARRY: (accusingly, in between crying) “You promised! You promised me. You said you don’t
—you said—“
HARRY: “You don’t—“
LOUIS: “I don’t.”
HARRY: (squeezing him, voice tight) “I could have lost you!”
LOUIS: (winces, eyes wet) “No, you wouldn’t… They’re…they’re light. Like razor cuts from
shaving—“ (Harry flinches badly) “They bleed a shit ton but they’re superficial, harmless. I
wouldn’t have…” (pulls away to poke at his thighs in proof) “Doesn’t even hurt, see? Nothing,
nothing…” (Harry looks devastated still, Louis softens) “H…It’s nothing…Harry.” (sighs heavily,
leans into the hug again, head on Harry’s shoulder, whispers) “I scared you, huh? I terrified you.”
(Harry nods slowly, Louis rubs his back soothingly, voice fond, full of love) “You silly boy, my
silly boy…”
HARRY: (repeating under his breath) “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.”
LOUIS: (straightens) “It’s fine?” (faint, confused smile) “You just scared the shit out of me
because I was asleep. Nothing else.” (Harry’s not stopping) “Haz, it’s small…”
HARRY: “I’m sorry I made you do this…” (defeated) “I hurt you so much you had to do this.“
LOUIS: “What? You think—No! Not at all, no. Harry, I did it because…because…randomly—“
(quickly, worried) “Harry, it’s not you. Don’t think—don’t. Harry, I—I…I did it because I’m dumb
—I’m the dumb one. This wasn’t…you shouldn’t…”
HARRY: “I left you alone. You were alone, in pain, while I fooled around—made a fool of
myself.” (angry at himself) “I should have been here.”
LOUIS: “No, I wanted you to be there—You were doing so well.” (cups Harry’s face, tries to
seem comforting but it’s obvious he’s freaking out) “So well, baby. I was so proud—” (Harry
sniffles, shaking his head) “I was…I was.”
HARRY: “I pushed you here.” (pulls his face away from Louis’ hands, doesn’t look at him in the
eye) “I should have never told you—“ (Louis’ eyes go wide) “I made you think you had to do
something, force yourself to—to—I made you hate yourself enough to do this because I’m spoiled
and pathetic and heartless—This is all on me and I will never forgive myself for—for cutting you
—for becoming like him.“
LOUIS: (screaming) “Don’t say that.” (desperate) “This wasn’t you. You’re nothing like him—
You would never be. None of this was you—there’s nothing to forgive, nothing.” (Harry is
shaking his head) “Harry. Harry…” (seeking his eyes) “Harry, please!” (Harry looks at him) “I’ve
forgiven you then. I’ve done it already. If it’s like that, it’s done. It’s done, you understand?”
HARRY: “You weren’t ready…” (lets go to stand up, talk to himself) “It was stupid to make it
about this.”
LOUIS: (grabs onto his shirt to hold him there, pleads with his eyes, pouts) “I fucked up. Me, I
did. I’m sorry—I’ll say sorry. I’ll admit it. This was me, it was me. I made a mistake. I’m saying
sorry. For you. So we can forget about this—”
HARRY: (collected, controlled) “Let’s clean you up. Make sure nothing’s infected.”
LOUIS: (afraid) “Harry, you did great—“
HARRY: “I know I have a first-aid kit upstairs. Should we go up?” (looks at the sheets, cringes)
“Let’s go up. You can’t sleep here. We’ll clean the sheets tomorrow. Sleep tonight. I’ll call
someone—”
LOUIS: “I had a moment of weakness…”
HARRY: (caresses his hair, sad smile on his face) “It doesn’t matter. The only thing I care about
right now is getting you in clean clothes and a clean bed. That’s all. Everything else…” (bites his
lip, almost shatters but holds it together) “We’ll figure it out tomorrow, okay?“
LOUIS: “I was having a bad day and I remembered some stuff—stuff that has nothing to do with
you.“
HARRY: “We’ll figure it out, Lou. Can you walk? Should I carry you there?”
LOUIS: (catches Harry’s hand when Harry makes to carry him) “Sometimes I slip into this when
I’m too restless, confused, it’s a time thing.”
HARRY: (stands) “Okay. That’s okay.”
LOUIS: (pulls him so Harry’s sitting on the bed again) “No, it’s not. You don’t believe me.”
HARRY: “I do.”
LOUIS: “No, you have to believe me.”
HARRY: “We’ll talk upstairs.”
LOUIS: “Believe me. Do you believe me?”
HARRY: “I do. I do.”
LOUIS: “Do you believe me when I say it wasn’t you?”
HARRY: (winces) “I—okay, yeah. Can you walk?”
LOUIS: “Harry, please.”

HARRY: “I’ll carry you, okay?”
LOUIS: “Please.”
HARRY: “Yeah, no problem.”
LOUIS: (exploding) “Please, don’t stop loving me!”
HARRY: “What?”
LOUIS: “Don’t stop loving me—It’s not because of that—I like that. I love that. I live for that. I
want it.” (Harry’s shell-shocked) “Don’t stop because I slipped up. Once, I did it once. Once.
Everyone does, doesn’t mean I’m weak—“
HARRY: “Doesn’t mean anything. I don’t love you any less—“
LOUIS: (holding tears behind a brave face) “Don’t stop. For fuck’s sake, don’t stop now. Not
now. Not after we’ve been through hell for this—Don’t you dare stop.”
HARRY: (breathy) “I won’t.”
LOUIS: “I’ll get there. Do you hear that?” (grabs his hand) “I’ll get there. For you—“
HARRY: “Don’t do it for me.“
LOUIS: “For me then. For me, for you, for us, for this, for whoever in the world. I’ll get there. I
know—I’m awake now.”
HARRY: “You shouldn’t have—“
LOUIS: “I shouldn’t. But I did and fuck, I’m glad because you’re here—“
HARRY: (frustrated) “I would have been here anyway. You didn’t need to hurt yourself. I’m
always here, call me, always, anytime, I’ll drop anyone for you, you know that. Don’t ever do it
for that. Ever. I’m here, I’ll never leave if you don’t touch yourself like that again, ever. You’re
my number one—”
LOUIS: “Zayn is.”
HARRY: “You are. You are now. You’ll always be from now on.” (cups Louis’ neck, pulls him
close, faces inches apart) “Listen to me…” (Louis’ breath hitches but he stays put) “If being in the
dark like this…” (thumb glides over Louis’ lip) “Makes you feel safe and happy. If this is your
happy place, here, like this, with me. If this is what you need…” (caresses his cheek, rubs their
noses together) “I’m okay with it, I’m here. I won’t drag you in the light again.” (Louis closes his
eyes, leans his cheek further into Harry’s palm) “You say turn off the lights and off they’ll go.
You decide everything.”
LOUIS: (whispered) “What about you?”
HARRY: “This was supposed to be your sanctuary, ours, when you shared it with me…And I
promised you that whatever happens here doesn’t leave here. That we can be different here, alone,
free of everything else. I went back on that once and you went back on this once…” (touches
Louis’ thigh) “But not again.”
LOUIS: “Not again.”
Illicit
Chapter 97: Illicit
Scene 1
[Simon’s Office, Walt Disney World in Florida, 12:07pm, Lover Boy]
SIMON: “I think that’s everything.” (tapping a pen against a stack of notes) “You were extra
painless today. Is your birthday coming up?”
LOUIS: (on the chair in front of him) “My birthday’s in December. You should know. I’m always
here working Christmases.”
SIMON: (guilty) “Maybe not this year. Maybe another visit to Cheshire will be prioritized instead,
what do you say?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “Yeah, maybe.”
SIMON: “We’ll talk about it closer to the date. As of right now, go enjoy the sun and the raise and
not having to see my face for another month.”
LOUIS: (focusing on the desk) “I’ve been thinking.”
SIMON: “What about?”
LOUIS: (breathes in) “I would like to…um, test out this—this…counselor idea.” (Simon’s eyes
are wide in disbelief) “If the offer’s still on the table. I’d like to try, as it could help.”
SIMON: (immediately concerned) “Has anything happened?”
LOUIS: “Not particularly.”
SIMON: “But—but…are you sure? Is everything alright at home? Here?”
LOUIS: “Everything’s okay, nothing worse, maybe better.”
SIMON: “So…?”
LOUIS: “So nothing. So I’d like to try. Why not? Why not be open to everything? I’ve tried a lot
of stuff lately and it’s worked out for me so might as well try this one too, right?”
SIMON: “Right. It might—will help. It will help, certainly.” (to himself) “I’m just a little
surprised, don’t mind me.”
LOUIS: “I am too.” (sad snort) “I didn’t think I’d got through with it but I have now so go ahead
and arrange something.”
SIMON: “Will do. I’ll send you the information and address, arrange the insurance as well so the
therapist knows not to ask for payment. All covered by the Disney contract, as you know, the best
workplace in the world.”
LOUIS: (chuckles) “Until I grow old and no longer have my dashing good lucks.”
SIMON: (teasingly) “Pray to god we don’t have to support you until then.”
LOUIS: “Pray to god you don’t retire before I do because the new person would kill me.”
SIMON: “Himself then you.”
LOUIS: (sarcastic) “Beautifully said, uncle Simon. So please don’t leave me yet.”
SIMON: “Oh, don’t you worry, I won’t be leaving without getting you sorted.” (serious) “But are
you sure everything’s okay?”
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes) “Yes, yes.”
SIMON: “No weird thoughts?”
LOUIS: (smirks) “Define weird.”
SIMON: “Like I’m going to show up tomorrow as Winnie the Pooh holding a chainsaw?”
LOUIS: “That’s not a bad idea. I was thinking Thor with a hammer but maybe chainsaw Pooh is
the way to go.”
SIMON: “Louis.”
LOUIS: “No, no murderous thoughts. No sad thoughts. No bad thoughts. No mad thoughts. No
grad thoughts—“
SIMON: “Grad thoughts?”
LOUIS: “You know, go back to school, get a valuable degree and become a productive member of
society that doesn’t dye his pubes blue.”
SIMON: “That wasn’t part of the contract, nor did it have to be part of this conversation.”
LOUIS: “But now it is.” (grins widely) “Aren’t you glad?” (stands up, stretches) “I am completely
sane and telling the truth. If I went insane, you’d know because you’d be my first victim.”
SIMON: “After years of putting up with your sass-ass and giving you a pass from breakfast
dates?”
LOUIS: “Who’d want to have breakfast with Hades?”
SIMON: “Oh, you’d be shocked.” (Louis laughs, about to leave) “Louis?”
LOUIS: (pokes his head out) “Yessir?”
SIMON: “If not that, what?”
LOUIS: (smirks) “The usual spring-flu that hits everyone.”
SIMON: “It’s summer.”

LOUIS: “The usual summer-flu that hits everyone.” (exaggerating) “I’m in lust.”
SIMON: (blinks) “Of course you are.”
LOUIS: “Fine, fine. I’m in love.” (realizes what he just said, flushes deeply) “With myself. I am in
love with myself and want myself’s best.”
SIMON: (smiling knowingly) “I’ll put you down for couple’s therapy then.”
LOUIS: “Couples therapy?”
SIMON: “For you and yourself, of course.”
LOUIS: “Right.”
SIMON: “Right.”
LOUIS: “Have fun firing bitches.”
SIMON: “Have fun loving them.”
Scene 2
[McDonalds, Disney Boardwalk, Orlando, 3:13pm, Kinky Boy]
LOUIS: (sitting with no food in front of him, just a milkshake) “I’ve been thinking.”
ELEANOR: (sipping on her own shake) “Oh, this has to be good then.”
LOUIS: “And I want you to be honest about this.”
ELEANOR: “When am I not?”
LOUIS: “How good was our sex?”
ELEANOR: (stunned then laughing) “Are you serious? This is what you’ve been thinking about?
This is what’s plaguing the intellectual’s mind? Here I thought something was up what with your
sulking and sweaters in July.”
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes) “Yeah, apparently I’m evaluating my life and this is among the important
aspects of it.”
ELEANOR: “Sex with me?”
LOUIS: “Sex in general. You happen to be the only one around to give me feedback.”
ELEANOR: “And you said be honest.”
LOUIS: “Honest, not funny.”
ELEANOR: “Fine, honestly… pretty bad.”
LOUIS: “Eleanor.”
ELEANOR: “Okay, yeah, I take that back. It was really bad. It was close to terrible.”
LOUIS: “Really?”
ELEANOR: “Really.”
LOUIS: “Really, really?”
ELEANOR: “Yup.”
LOUIS: (stunned) “Huh…” (moments of silence) “I don’t know what to do with this information.
Have half a mind to kill you so it doesn’t get out.”
ELEANOR: “Ha. What did you expect? You hate kissing. You hate affection. You hate being
naked. You hate sex basically.”
LOUIS: “I don’t mind sex.”
ELEANOR: “That’s synonymous. Who ‘minds’ sex? Who anything but dies for sex?”
LOUIS: “I see now why we weren’t compatible. You’re a nympho. I’m in hate with you…”
ELEANOR: “You figured that out just now?”
LOUIS: “If you hated it so much why continue, with me? We did it for a long time.”
ELEANOR: “I guess by your one-night-blowie standards, yes.”
LOUIS: “Why?”
ELEANOR: “Eh, I didn’t mind it with you. Not the best but there occasionally. Randomly. Like a
calorie burner activity though you didn’t let me do anything but lay there like a dead fish.”
LOUIS: “Isn’t that what women want, to do none of the work?”
ELEANOR: “Careful there, your sexism is showing.”
LOUIS: “All the women I’ve slept with wanted me to take charge so I made a generalization and
took charge.”
ELEANOR: “Do you like taking charge?”
LOUIS: “Do I have a choice?”
ELEANOR: (sideways nodding) “Yes, really, all types of kinks out there.” (smirks) “You strike
me as the kind of person who’s all bossy in life and all fluffy in bed.”
LOUIS: “You’ve been in bed with me…”
ELEANOR: “Okay, but real bed, in bed with someone you’re super attracted to and really like.”
LOUIS: “I—“
ELEANOR: (gives him a look) “Come on now. You were not.”

LOUIS: “You’re an attractive girl. Very nice and pretty with straight hair. I don’t compliment
people often so be happy. That hurt to say.”
ELEANOR: (blinks dully) “That hurt to hear. I’m so flattered.”
LOUIS: “And nice…breasts.”
ELEANOR: “Did it take you a while to remember what those are called?”
LOUIS: “Ha-ha. I take it back. You look like a wart.”
ELEANOR: “Not even a witch this time. I’ve graduated.” (shakes her head) “I’m thinking of
sleeping with a girl.”
LOUIS: (chokes on his drink) “What? Is everyone gay now? Did I turn you lesbian? Was I this
bad?”
ELEANOR: (amused) “Eh, not necessarily.”
LOUIS: (drops his head in his arms) “Where is my male pride? Where is my male macho?
Where?”
ELEANOR: “Right. No, I was simply thinking… up until now I haven’t tried but maybe I’m
bisexual or something. Maybe both girls and boys…boys who aren’t you…” (Louis mock sobs)
“Will do it for me. I have to try.”
LOUIS: (raises his head and an eyebrow) “Do you?”
ELEANOR: “What’s the worst that could happen? I’m not bisexual and then I continue my
straight life.”
LOUIS: “Why are you telling me this? Are we girlfriends? Are you in lesbians with me?”
ELEANOR: “I paint your toenails every month. You drink wine with me and vent about your boy
problems. We’re girlfriends.”
LOUIS: (opens his mouth for a few seconds) “I…don’t have boy problems. I have buddy problems
—Harry problems.”
ELEANOR: “Harry is a boy. But who cares because now we’re talking about my problems.”
LOUIS: “What the hell are your problems? You’re pretty, smart, funny, non-problematic, with
many friends and a model body and can pull of crop-tops and citrus nails and now you might like
both genders—those aren’t problems; those are things I want in life.”
ELEANOR: (stunned) “You can have all of those really…”
LOUIS: (pouty, blushed) “No.”
ELEANOR: (counting on her fingers) “Pretty? Check. Smart. Check. Funny? Eh…” (Louis glares
at her) “Fine, check. Non-problematic, well, that one we’d need to work on, mister women-should-
be-dead-fishes. But model body? Check.”
LOUIS: “You forgot many friends.”

ELEANOR: “Right, many friends, check.” (Louis opens his mouth) “Niall, Zayn, Liam, Sandy,
Dan, Josh, Ash, Luke, Mikey, Calum—“
LOUIS: “Ed.”
ELEANOR: (reluctantly) “Ed, darling Ed, apparently—apparently he likes you enough to show
you new songs and send you free tickets and text you ginger jokes.” (heavy sigh)
LOUIS: (smirking) “Jealous?”
ELEANOR: (ignoring him) “And if wanna pull off crop tops and painted nails, god knows you
can but I wouldn’t recommend it because Harry would probably run out of future children.”
LOUIS: “Um.”
ELEANOR: “Think about it.”
LOUIS: (aha moment, cringes) “You are a vile creature that I do not want to be associated with
any longer in case I get verbal genital warts from your filthy wart face.”
ELEANOR: “Yeah, yeah. Are you coming gay-clubbing with me or not?”
LOUIS: “Since when is this the debate?”
ELEANOR: “Since ever. I’m coming out as questioning, keep up.”
LOUIS: “You said you might like women who knows. That’s not a case for going gay-clubbing
with me out of all people—I don’t go gay-clubbing to collect information—okay, I did that once
with Luke and it was to prove a point.”
ELEANOR: “The point being you don’t mind going to gay clubs because you don’t mind gay
people and being gay isn’t a bad thing you’re afraid of.”
LOUIS: (pursing his lips, caught) “I don’t like you as a person.”
ELEANOR: (smiling) “We’ve established that.”
LOUIS: “What will I do in a lesbian-club anyway? Love the fact that beautiful women are kissing
each other on the lips? I’m not that kind of man, Eleanor. I have morals and decency and…”
(Eleanor is giggling) “And plans.”
ELEANOR: “To what? Play video games with Liam all night?”
LOUIS: “Um…no. Not anymore since I’ve become so predictable.” (Eleanor pouts) “Why don’t
you ask Luke?”
ELEANOR: “I don’t think the type of people I want and the type of people he wants run the same
circles if you catch my drift.”
LOUIS: “Liam?”
ELEANOR: “Zayn would get to jealous.”
LOUIS: “These jokes about their relationship—“

ELEANOR: “Ziam, you mean?”
LOUIS: “I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that… Ziam, who even invented that? Lemme guess, Liam
himself.” (Eleanor nods) “Wait are there names for all coup—“
ELEANOR: “Larry. That’s you and Harry.” (grandiosely) “Larry is real, Larry is life, Larry’s the
new Shrek.”
LOUIS: “That’s…demented really. Because…well, because Shrek is a god and also because…”
(laughing nervously) “Why would we have a name?”
ELEANOR: “You look cute together.”
LOUIS: “I look cute next to anyone.”
ELEANOR: “Especially cute next to Harry.”
LOUIS: (evading) “Why don’t you take Harry?”
ELEANOR: “I need someone with a certain sass and pizazz. And taste.”
LOUIS: “And he doesn’t have taste?”
ELEANOR: “Well, he likes you.”
LOUIS: “I don’t know why I keep setting you up for spikes on my self-esteem. Where would you
be without me?”
ELEANOR: “Subconscious masochism. I told you about the kinks, right? Wants to be verbally
volleyed, controlled in bed, whipped and whipped creamed, oh, Louis, you naughty, naughty boy.
Maybe if my lesbian experimentation doesn’t cut it, I’ll buy a bucket of ice cream, my dildo and a
roll of toilet paper and we can get it on.”
LOUIS: “Now I have to come with you just to ensure that you do find someone and I don’t have to
die a painful, toilet paper death. Did you say dildo?”
ELEANOR: “So you’re coming?” (excited, clapping her hands) “Yay. It’s going to be so much
fun.”
LOUIS: “Certainly.”
ELEANOR: “I’ll buy the wine.”
ELEANOR: “For pre gaming, duh. We’ll drink wine and get dressed and dance to Britney and go
out. I’ve already found the perfect club. It’s gay and lesbian so you won’t get bored.”
LOUIS: “After this I might have to come out as lesbian because my dick will have shrunk into my
butthole.”
ELEANOR: “Dick in butt…”
LOUIS: (waves her off dramatically) “When?”

ELEANOR: “This coming weekend. Friday. Does that work?” (Louis looks pained) “I’ll curl your
hair for you.”
LOUIS: “Fine.” (Eleanor squeaks) “Only for the hair though.”
Scene 3
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 5 :42 p m, Hubby Boy]
LOUIS: (enters the room nervously) “Harry, can I come in? I’ve been thinking…”
HARRY: (voice heard from the kitchen) “I’m here.”
LOUIS: (walks in, lingers near the kitchen’s door) “Can I stay here tonight or…?”
HARRY: (looks up from where he’s whisking cake mix) “Unless you have other plans?”
LOUIS: (shrugs, small) “I don’t.”
HARRY: “Then what are you asking for?” (slaps some of the powers from his hands, heads
towards Louis) “You live here.” (Louis stiffens, hands twitching but Harry heads for the room
instead, not touching him) “I have something for you.”
LOUIS: “Oh.” (blushes at his own reaction, under his breath) “Not a hug apparently.” (Harry
hums in questioning, Louis is louder) “Nothing.”
HARRY: “It took me ages to find these so you better be as excited as I am.” (chuckles to himself)
“People thought I was a teen dad.”
LOUIS: (walks into the room to look at what Harry’s holding) “What is it?”
HARRY: (hands him the box) “Impressed?”
LOUIS: “Harry.”
HARRY: (pouts) “No, you don’t like them? But they have Shreks?”
LOUIS: (smiles) “I see that. But…” (looks up from the box of band-aids, bites his lip) “I don’t…”
HARRY: (shrugs) “Who knows when one might need them?” (walks back towards the kitchen)
“Keep them just in case.”
LOUIS: (shocked, looks at the box, looks at Harry’s back before he disappears into the kitchen
again, has to bite his lip to stop from grinning fully) “What are you making?”
HARRY: “Cupcakes.”
Instructions
Chapter 98: Instructions
Scene 1
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 7 :12 a m, Instruction Manual: Ass Sex]
LOUIS: (laying on the bed, facing Harry, eyes closed) “Don’t be creepy.”
HARRY: (caught staring, closes his eyes immediately) “I’m asleep.”
LOUIS: “Of course you are.”
HARRY: “Yes, I am. Look.” (fake snoring) “Harry’s so asleep.”
LOUIS: “So asleep he talks.”
HARRY: “In his sleep.”
LOUIS: “Do you sleep with your eyes open?”
HARRY: “Yes, I sleep looking at you.”
LOUIS: “And creepily touching my eyebrows.”
HARRY: (blushes) “I was straightening them so the little hairs were facing the same way—“
(Louis is choking in silent laughter) “You were supposed to be asleep!”
LOUIS: “Same with you but I guess the crucial task of straight, eyebrow hair took precedence.”
HARRY: “I only did it for a little bit.” (pouts) “Plus, admit it, you like petting.”
LOUIS: “Nope.”
HARRY: (turns the other way, sulky) “Fine, keep your unpetted face and weird eyebrows. No
more nice things for you.”
LOUIS: (smiles, cuddles closer to Harry to spoon him) “Ha, got you. Little did you know this is
what I secretly wanted all along.”
HARRY: “To smell my sweaty back?”
LOUIS: “Yup. Yum.” (makes a show of sniffing Harry’s back then armpit) “So manly.”
HARRY: (tickled, laughs) “Want more?” (raises his arm) “Here, let me help you.” (grabs the
back of Louis’ head, shoves his face in his own armpit) “Take it in. Take it in.”
LOUIS: (mumbled) “Day five. No oxygen. Just pheromones. Dead but getting weirdly aroused.
Send help…” (pause) “And lube.”
HARRY: (laughing harder now, lets go to let Louis breathe) “Feel free to touch my butt.”
LOUIS: “You have no butt.”
HARRY: “Feel free to touch my non-butt.” (amused, biting his lip) “With your weirdly aroused
pheromones.”
LOUIS: “How about I touch your face with my fist?” (Harry is laughing) “Or my farting ass?”
HARRY: “Yum.” (Louis mock gags) “I’m not picky or vegan when it comes to eating ass.”
LOUIS: “No, you’re just disgusting.” (Harry giggles immaturely, Louis settles down again, arm
loosely around Harry’s waist, sighing contentedly against Harry’s back) “We’re disgusting.”
HARRY: “Yup.” (looks at the alarm clock) “And we should get up for work.” (Louis groans
loudly) “Get your smelly ass in the shower before I eat it.”
LOUIS: “I might have to make that sacrifice. That’s how much I don’t wanna get up.”
HARRY: (mocking him) “Oh, the sacrifice of being pleasured. The pain, the struggle.”
LOUIS: “Is it really that pleasurable?”
HARRY: (cheeky) “I could show you. Spread like butter for daddy, princess.”
LOUIS: (smacks him in the head, Harry yelps, Louis smacks him again) “I’m asking seriously. For
scientific reasons.”
HARRY: “Didn’t Ed clue you in? Or is frotting his only specialty?”
LOUIS: (holding back a smirk) “He said you loved it.” (Harry blushes) “But he also said he’d
never seen anyone like ass-sex more than you.”
HARRY: (sarcastic) “At this point he should just show you the sex-tapes.”
LOUIS: (raising his head from the pillow) “Those…exist?”
HARRY: (taunts) “For scientific reasons, right?”
LOUIS: (smirks) “No, for tutorial purposes.”
HARRY: (eyes dilated, voice husky) “No need.” (sitting up to get out of bed) “Because I sure as
hell wouldn’t be wasting that fine ass.” (winks on his way to the bathroom) “I’ll shower first since
now I have a big problem to solve.”
LOUIS: (jaw on the floor, flushed from his face, down his neck, to the tips of his ears) “As if!”
(Harry laughs from inside the bathroom) “As if I’d like it enough to let you.”
HARRY: (sing-song) “Don’t knock it till you try it.”
Scene 2
[Park Entrance, Walt Disney World in Florida, 11:19am, Instruction Manual: Ass-Sexual]
LOUIS: (walks determinedly up to Zayn where he is standing outside the park, smoking) “In what
world do straight guys shove dicks in other guys’ asses?”
ZAYN: (whiny) “Oh not again. How did you find me?”
LOUIS: “What world?”
ZAYN: “This one apparently.”
LOUIS: “You really—“
ZAYN: “Yes, Louis.” (ranting) “Really. I really. I did the sex with my best mate. I put my dick in
his tight hole and loved every second of it and had him screaming below me and had him riding
me. I did all that. It was done. Are we done with the twenty questions? Why are you stalking me?”
LOUIS: (huffy) “I am not. I happened to be at the locker room, and the cafe, and McDonalds, and
here. I do all those things all the time. Pass me a cigarette.” (Zayn hands him one, Louis puts it in
his mouth, lights it, shrugs) “I just don’t understand how.”
ZAYN: “Take sex-ed.”
LOUIS: “How can you do that and not be in love with him? How can people not be in love with
him?”
ZAYN: “This is the part where I reiterate I am straight. Again. For the ninth time in this unwanted,
dozen part conversation.”
LOUIS: “Are you sure though? How can you be so sure?”
ZAYN: “Louis, you think if I loved him like that I’d have let you even begin to Niall-flirt with
him?”
LOUIS: “Is everyone using that now?”
ZAYN: “You think if I loved him like he once loved me, we’d even be having this talk? He’d have
been my boyfriend last year. Don’t kid yourself.”
LOUIS: “I’m offended but alright.”
ZAYN: “Offended over what?”
LOUIS: “You thinking I wouldn’t be able to compete with you for his affection.”
ZAYN: (looks amused, half-scoff half-snort) “You used to be homophobic and you wake up
sweating at night at the thought of a semi-hard dick accidentally touching your thigh. You
wouldn’t have been able to compete.”
LOUIS: “I’m offended again but at least I’m an ex-homophobe now. Homophobe in rehab.”
ZAYN: (shakes his head, faint smile) “Just trust me when I say I go after what I want. Hard. And if
that was him, I’d have fought. It’s not him. It’s never been him. It will never be him.” (under his
breath) “You’re safe.” (throws the cigarette on the floor, walks away) “Now let me get snot wiped
on my face in peace.”
LOUIS: (follows him, blurts) “How was it?”
ZAYN: “What?”
LOUIS: “The do.”
ZAYN: “The sex?”
LOUIS: “Yeah, how was the sex?” (flustered, hands in his hoodie pockets) “How was seeing him
like that, naked and stuff?”
ZAYN: “Harry’s naked all the time, half the hotel has seen him streak.”
LOUIS: “Alright, how was seeing him…enjoying it.”
ZAYN: “Awesome.”
LOUIS: “Awesome?”
ZAYN: “Yeah, awesome. When I have sex with people I usually want them to feel pleasure and
get pleasure when they do to. He really liked it and that made me feel good about myself. That
detailed enough for you?”
LOUIS: “Is he loud?”
ZAYN: “Apparently not.”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “Just wondering…”
ZAYN: “He’s…vocal, I guess.”
LOUIS: “Did he last long?”
ZAYN: (appalled) “Uh? I’m not a call-girl, Louis. I won’t talk dirty to you. Go find out for
yourself.” (frowning) “Why are we even having this talk?”
LOUIS: “Because I am eternally fascinated by the concept of a straight guy sleeping with a gay
guy.”
ZAYN: (loud, losing his shit dramatically) “Have you never experimented with a banana or I don’t
know? Did you not go to college? Niall and Liam both have at least questioned their sexuality.”
LOUIS: “Liam’s fetish is you.” (Zayn shrugs in consensus) “And Niall was in a frat. He had to
touch junk to get in. That’s what they do.”
ZAYN: (to himself, actual realization) “So that’s why Harry was so insistent on joining one…
Three years later I am understanding that fight him and Ed had over this. The more you know.”
LOUIS: “How did you manage to get hard for him?”
ZAYN: “Trust me, regardless of your sexuality, if you had him crawled on top of you giving you
that sideways, red-lipped smirk an inch away from your crotch, you’d get there too. Again. Test it
for yourself.”
LOUIS: (innocently shocked) “You looked at him while he was…?”
ZAYN: “You seem to think blow jobs given by men are less pleasurable than those given by
women and from what I’ve heard, Eleanor bites so you shouldn’t even have high standards for that
at all.”
LOUIS: (cringes) “She does bite. It’s painful. But I don’t look at her either. It’s weird to think
about.”
ZAYN: “Weird to ask.”
LOUIS: “I’m thinking you’re bisexual. That has to be it.”
ZAYN: “I’m not.”
LOUIS: “How do you know?”
ZAYN: “Because I’m not dating Harry. If I was bisexual, I’d be dating Harry. We wouldn’t be
having this conversation. Why are we having this conversation? Let me do my job!”
LOUIS: (blinks at him a few times, then to himself) “Okay, bisexual Zayn. I’m going to go eat fries
now.”
ZAYN: (groans, rolls his eyes) “Thank you. Don’t come again.”
LOUIS: (turning around suddenly, smirking) “But did you come though?”
Scene 3
[Harry’s Room, Walt Disney Hotel, 12 :29 a m, Instruction Manual: Ass Virgin]
LOUIS: (already in bed, cuddled close to Harry, face to face, lights out, Harry’s practically
asleep, Louis is looking at him, one arm on Harry’s waist, whispering) “Did you fuck him?”
HARRY: (sleepily) “Who? Shrek?”
LOUIS: (pinches him lightly, Harry snorts) “You know who. The bar-twat.”
HARRY: (giggling) “I only spread my buttcheeks for Shrek.”
LOUIS: “Harry, be serious. I love Shrek as much as the next guy but—“ (Harry cracks up
completely, Louis smiles at him, fingers lightly trailing down Harry’s back) “This is serious stuff.”
HARRY: “Shrek is serious stuff too.”
LOUIS: “Harry.”
HARRY: “What?” (opens one eye) “What has you all ruffled and insomniac?”
LOUIS: (pouty) “You evading my question. Did you or did you not?”
HARRY: “What do you think?”
LOUIS: “Stop playing.”
HARRY: (smiles) “No. I did not. He was a virgin.”
LOUIS: “Oh.” (thinks about it) “Like an ass-virgin?”

HARRY: “Yes, he prays to Shrek every night—“
LOUIS: “Harry.” (adorably whiny) “Be serious.” (Harry puts on a mock serious expression) “Did
he touch your dick?”
HARRY: “Why do you care?”
LOUIS: “So yes.”
HARRY: (half shrug, cheeky grin) “A bit.”
LOUIS: (purses his lips) “How?”
HARRY: “How what?”
LOUIS: “How did he touch her?”
HARRY: (balances his head on one hand) “With great finesse and affection. He gave her hugs and
kisses. Are we done now?”
LOUIS: “Yes because you’re not being serious.” (slumps in bed, crosses his arms) “Don’t tell me
then.”
HARRY: “Why do you wanna know?”
LOUIS: “Why don’t you wanna tell me?”
HARRY: “Because…because it’s weird, is it not? Isn’t it weird to hear?” (Louis shrugs) “No?
You wanna know?”
LOUIS: “I asked, didn’t I?”
HARRY: (taken aback) “Alright then. Okay. Whatever you want.” (Louis is patiently waiting,
looking at him) “He gave me a blow job, with his mouth, that’s how those work, like straight blow-
jobs. The end.”
LOUIS: (gulps) “Did you…reciprocate?”
HARRY: “No.” (Louis = pleased) “No time.” (Louis = not that pleased) “It was sort of out-of-
the-blue.”
LOUIS: “Will you?”
HARRY: (uncomfortable) “Uh, haven’t put it down on my agenda.” (hopeful) “Do you care if I do
or don’t?”
LOUIS: “What else?” (clarifies) “Did you do.”
HARRY: “Nothing else. We kissed?”
LOUIS: (smile slapped off his face at that) “No.”
HARRY: “A lot of kissing actually. That’s all I wanted to do.”

LOUIS: (snipped) “Why?”
HARRY: “Because.” (mini shrug) “Because kissing is nice.” (looks into Louis’ eyes) “It’s soft and
intense, and intimate and foreign and…and…” (eyes fall to Louis’ lips, voice quiet, close) “And
everything.”
LOUIS: “You weren’t supposed to kiss him.”
HARRY: “Why?”
LOUIS: “Because.” (frowning, staring at Harry’s collarbone, not his confused eyes) “Because
kissing is special and you wasted it on someone unspecial. He’s not special. Not good enough for
your kisses.”
HARRY: (sad smile) “I suppose you’re right. I give my kisses out too quickly.” (joking) “I’m
loose. My morals have plummeted ever since I met you.”
LOUIS: (not paying attention, too busy staring at Harry’s lips) “How did you kiss him?”
HARRY: “With my lips.”
LOUIS: (bold) “Do you ever feel like kissing me?”
HARRY: (breath catches in surprise and fear) “Uh what?”
LOUIS: “It’s okay. We’re in the dark, right?” (eyes him) “We can say stuff like this…right?”
HARRY: (breathy, unconvinced) “Right…”
LOUIS: “So?”
HARRY: (softly) “I feel like kissing you all the time.”
LOUIS: “Why don’t you?”
HARRY: (nervous chuckle that sounds like a squeak) “Because you said you’d punch me in the
nose if I even tried.” (biting his lip seductively) “Wouldn’t you?”
LOUIS: (grins) “Most likely.”
HARRY: (aroused) “You’re teasing me.”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “I like seeing you surprised. When I just met you, before this…” (lightly touches
one of Harry’s curls, pushes it behind his ear, lets his palm rest against Harry’s cheek, Harry
smiles widely) “The dimples.”
HARRY: “The dimples…?”
LOUIS: “Before I knew how…how utterly fucked up you were and how utterly fucked I was
letting myself let you in…” (Harry eyes and lips are glistening) “You use to surprise me so much.”
HARRY: (husky) “With my filthy mouth.”
LOUIS: “With your filthy mind.” (Harry smirks and Louis reciprocates it briefly before becoming
serious again) “With your intelligence, compassion, innocence, everything. You were my Kinder
Egg.”
HARRY: “Let’s hope no one chokes on me and dies.” (Louis sighs but a smile creeps in his face)
“Then I’ll be illegal.”
LOUIS: “Your stupidity should be illegal.” (mock whisper) “Hint: stop ruining my speeches.
They’re beautiful, like me.”
HARRY: (also whispering) “Oh. Sorry. Continue.”
LOUIS: (coughs) “And now, now that you’re getting to know me…well, I wanna surprise you
too.”
HARRY: (grabs Louis’ hand that’s on his face, kisses it) “You surprise me all the time, bub.”
LOUIS: (bites his bottom lip to restrain himself) “Impress you then.”
HARRY: (shakes his head) “All the time.” (Louis’ whole face has melted into an endeared smile)
“Also, can I say a joke that I should have said a couple of sentences ago but I didn’t think of it soon
enough. It’s very funny.”
LOUIS: (unsure) “…Sure.”
HARRY: “My dick is like a Kinder Egg.”
LOUIS: (annoyed) “I am going to knee you in your Kinder Egg—“
HARRY: “But wait…” (bouncing in excitement) “Wait. The punchline is important.”
LOUIS: “Lemme guess, you can choke on both?”
HARRY: (proudly grinning) “Because I have a big dick.” (laughs at his own joke, in glee) “Dick
jokes.” (notices Louis is frowning deeply) “No?”
LOUIS: “Are you quite finished?”
HARRY: “Telling jokes?”
LOUIS: “Making me completely fall for your dumb, unfunny face. It’s embarrassing.”
In
Chapter 99: In
LOUIS: “Are you quite finished?”
HARRY: “Telling jokes?”
LOUIS: “Making me completely fall for your dumb, unfunny face. It’s embarrassing.”
HARRY: (smiles) “I fell for yours so long ago I don’t know anything other than pining…”
(notices Louis’ smile dropping off his face, Harry’s fades too) “I’m sorry. That was too far. I
crossed the line.”
LOUIS: (sits up immediately on the bed, to himself) “Oh fuck…”
HARRY: (also sitting up) “What?” (worried) “I said I’m sorry. It slipped out. I’m cheesy,
remember? I say cheesy stuff all the time.”
LOUIS: “Do you mean them?”
HARRY:(small) “Ye-yeah…” (cringes in himself) “A little?”
LOUIS: “Oh shit-lord.”
HARRY: (pouting) “Lou…”
LOUIS: (palms on his face) “Oh no, no, no.”
HARRY: (trying to detach Louis’ hands to look at him) “What happened? Was I bad again?”
(pleading) “I’m sorry.”
LOUIS: (lets Harry pulls his hands off, super serious) “Don’t you see what’s happening?”
HARRY: (immediately) “No.”
LOUIS: “No? You really don’t see?”
HARRY: “I don’t see anything—we’re in the dark, you said we could…say stuff like that?”
LOUIS: “We can but…”
LOUIS: “Don’t be. That’s not it. It’s not about the dark. You’re not understanding.”
HARRY: “Explain it to me.”
LOUIS: (opens his mouth, chokes, closes it) “Shit, Hazza.”
HARRY: “I can stop. Right now. I stopped.”

LOUIS: “It’s not that. You’re not listening—it’s the opposite.”
HARRY: (panicked) “I don’t wanna fight again, please. We’ve been fighting so much lately and
I’m so, so tired and I’ll do anything to keep it nice like this. Please.”
LOUIS: (thoughtful) “We have been fighting a lot.” (Harry nods, Louis sighs) “And I’ve started
about eighty percent, haven’t I?”
HARRY: (humorless snort) “I started a few myself. Don’t take all the credit.”
LOUIS: “But I started most.”
HARRY: “Because I did most the bad things.”
LOUIS: “They weren’t bad things. Most of the time…” (looking sideways at their unpacked
suitcases from the trip) “You were jealous. And I was jealous.” (back to Harry) “And don’t you
see what I mean?”
HARRY: (closes his eyes tight) “Please don’t say we’re hurting each other and that we should
stop.” (lower, brokenly) “Please don’t make me date other people again. I’m so bad at it and I
humiliate myself…” (whispered) “You have no idea how much. It’s hard…it’s hard to pretend,
feels awful.”
LOUIS: (softens) “Make you? I wasn’t…I didn’t—Harry, I would never make you do anything,
that wasn’t the plan. It wasn’t my intention—I thought you wanted to, you said you wanted to get
laid and I thought you’d be happy—I wanted you to be happy. I wasn’t making you.”
HARRY: “I know…” (silence) “I know you were, Lou.”
LOUIS: (sad) “I didn’t know you felt like that.”
HARRY: “I didn’t either. I thought it’d help. It’d be good for me, sleeping with others. It’d make
me forget, fill that hole. At first it was Ed and then—then I did that stupid thing with Beau but…”
(exhales) “I’d rather be alone, Lou, I get it now and I’d rather be alone than pretend and drag
someone else with me.”
LOUIS: “I never wanted this to be something that hurt you…“ (snorts) “Ironic, huh? What a piece
of bull, an excuse, something they say in those cliche movies to make themselves feel better—I
didn’t know, I wanted your best. Well, it’s not true. For anyone. We all know. I knew. I knew it
would hurt. I knew—I had to know. You told me enough for me to realize pushing you towards
other people was hurting you and I chose to ignore it.”
HARRY: “It was more complicated than that. We both got confused. Let’s go back to the joking. I
don’t wanna do this again. I’m so tired of doing this.”
LOUIS: (confessing) “I am too. Exhausted.”
HARRY: “So please let’s just go back to the beginning. You’ll be snappy and I’ll be naive and
we’ll both be happy. Let’s go back to when I never thought I had a shot and you could never
imagine I wanted one in the first place.”
LOUIS: “I wasn’t happy then…with that.”

HARRY: “You were happier than this. Ever since I brought you home for that stupid wedding,
I’ve done nothing but make you cry. You never cried before—”
LOUIS: (mumbled) “I did, just…alone.”
HARRY: (pained) “What happened to us?”
LOUIS: “I started liking you…”
HARRY: (off guard) “What?”
LOUIS: “I started liking you a lot. I told you I’d like you in a bad way and I did. I tried not to but
couldn’t stop.”
HARRY: “Louis.”
LOUIS: “It became real for me, don’t you see?”
HARRY: “See what? What are you saying?”
LOUIS: “I’m saying that’s what happened. I ruined. That’s what happened. I dropped my guard—
that day when we turned off the light for the first time and I told you my biggest insecurity—I told
you how I didn’t deserve to be born, that my mom looked at me like I was the reason she had no
career and future—like I took that from her.” (stops to catch his breath) “That day, when you held
me together and said stuff that made it make sense, it got real for me. And I couldn’t handle it.
I…” (taking a deep breath) “I saw something that—that I couldn’t pretend I didn’t crave. So
everything beyond that became about making sure I never came to terms with the truth.”
HARRY: “What truth?”
LOUIS: “I need you. I like needing you. I want to need you. Makes me feel human, fixable, like I
have a shot.”
HARRY: “That’s fine, all those are fine. I need you back. We need each other.”
LOUIS: “It’s more than that.”
HARRY: (wary) “I’m not sure if we should be doing this. It’ll end up like before… I don’t want to
force you—”
LOUIS: “I’m not sure either because…” (whispered) “I’m terrified right now. And you could ruin
me.”
HARRY: “We can stop…”
LOUIS: (shakes his head furiously) “You just said that you have fallen for me…And I knew that,
trust me, I knew you had feelings and that you’d gotten…attached. We’ve talked about it. I thought
it’s best for you if we pretend that I don’t see it because it would never work with someone like
me. That was my decision but looking back, looking at it from now, looking at you…” (wiping at
the few tears on his face) “It’s so stupid.”
HARRY: “What is?”
LOUIS: “This entire thing. Me killing myself pretending that I don’t believe you when you say
that while knowing that I feel like the exact same way—It’s stupid. I’m stupid.”
HARRY: “You’re scared…”
LOUIS: “What’s wrong with me?”
HARRY: “Nothing.” (worried) “Don’t push yourself.”
LOUIS: (exploding) “I love you; you love me—what are we doing crying every night? Where is
the problem here? What the flying fuck are we doing?”
HARRY: “Trying to not get hurt again because we’ve both gotten completely shattered in the past
and that’s all we are, two broken fucking people, trying to keep it together long enough, trying to
save each other when we can’t save ourselves.”
LOUIS: (looks down at the sheets) “That’s what I told myself, you know? Exactly that. When I
first, when we first started talking, I told myself—vowed that I’d make it my purpose in life to save
you because if I saved you maybe you’d save me back. If I put all of my energy into helping you
get better…”
HARRY: (touched) “You did. I’d never be here without you.”
LOUIS: “I lost faith after our first fight, I stopped believing I’d ever become better but it didn’t
matter because you were still there and that’s all I needed. I could still save you. I hated every part
of myself, had done nothing right in my life, had no one, no need to continue, but it didn’t matter
because I’d made my life about you at that point and I’d save you. I’d make you smile every day
and teach you to open up and get over Ed. I’d make you believe in yourself. Until I saved you I had
a reason to live.”
HARRY: (trying to keep himself from sobbing) “You still do, I’m not there yet—please, I’m not
there yet, don’t talk like you’re going to leave me.” (full on sobbing) “Give me a chance—what
about my chance? I wanna save you now.”
LOUIS: “I’ve reached my limit. All this pain I suffered doing this with you, hiding how badly I—I
wanted to stop fighting it, to let go completely—the pain of not having you has finally become
bigger than the pain of what I went through. I’d rather risk living through the terror of what
happened happening again than sit here watching the only person I’ve ever felt myself with walk
away.”
HARRY: “…I’m sorry.
LOUIS: “The reason I used to cut was to remind myself to never want that again, how wrong it
was, but a few nights ago…” (finally breaking, puts his hand on his mouth, catches his breath) “As
I was doing it…All I could think about was how badly I wanted you to kiss me there—like you
said you would and tell me I’m fucking better than this, that you’d love me despite it all and that
was enough because I’d believe you—“
HARRY: (shell-shocked) “Louis…”
LOUIS: “I wanted that so bad and I wasn’t cutting because I did, I was doing it because I didn’t
have it yet, maybe I’d lost it forever, because I let it go. It hurt so bad to think that and I…I can’t
keep pretending that the fear is bigger than this, what we have, what we should have, what I want
us to have. It’s added up for me and maybe that’s not the case for you—maybe losing Ed will
never compare to this—“
HARRY: “It will never compare because I lost Ed knowing he’d be okay—I almost lose you
every day you risk your life because of me. Drinking and passing out and hurting yourself and
whatever the hell I’ve done to you until now.” (guilty, admitting it) “I made him be you—I made
him act like you, the one-night-stand, a random stranger, a kid—I thought of him as you and used
him like a blow-up doll, how messed up is that, to need someone that bad—to latch onto something
as idiotic as a smell because it helps you fell less incomplete. Losing Ed tore me apart but the
thought of never having you has me psychotic. Imagine what it’d be like losing you. I don’t want to
think about it because I don’t think I’d be able to think if that were the case…”
LOUIS: (touching Harry’s cheek, bringing him close for a hug, mumbling against his shoulder)
“We’re dating, aren’t we? Me. You. This. It happened, didn’t it? It happened a while ago and that’s
why we’ve been fighting because we think it’s cheating when it’s not… We think it’s something
that we talked about but it’s not.”
HARRY: (helping Louis on his lap, hugging him, rubbing his back) “I told you, that day. I told
you—“
LOUIS: “You told me you liked me, you moron. You didn’t tell me we were already a thing.”
HARRY: “We’re not?”
LOUIS: (pulls away to look at him, still on Harry’s lap) “We are. I can glue my eyes shut, lock
myself in a room with no windows, in the dark forever and it’ll still be true. I rely on you like
that…I—“ (voice shaking in emotion) “I care for you like that.”
HARRY: “That doesn’t mean…”
LOUIS: “Look, I don’t know what a relationship is because I never allowed myself one and that’s
how I’ve hid for so long because I can pretend that what we’re doing here—joking about flirting
with each other, acting like we don’t accidentally touch each other’s dicks when we cuddle half-
asleep—“ (Harry flushes bright red) “I could lie to myself, name it something else. It was new. I
could say it was anything. But by other people’s standards, this is dating. This is that—that thing
they all want, where two people are happy together and long for each other and miss each other —
and it’s clearly that, whatever you wanna call it.”
HARRY: “A relationship?”
LOUIS: “Is it not?”
HARRY: (teasing) “So what? Bro-pals can’t be matey with each other?”
LOUIS: (cringing) “Is that how I’ve sounded all this time?”
HARRY: “Yeah…but it doesn’t matter because I don’t care about their standards. This is
whatever you want it to be, love. I promised you I wouldn’t force you to admit anything you
weren’t ready. And if you need this to be something of a different name, it can be. If you want to
call this bromance, friendship, best friends, bro-dudes, whatever you want, that’s fine with me. It
doesn’t change a thing.”
LOUIS: “I need this to be mine.” (laughing at himself, smacking his forehead several times)
“There it is—there it freaking is, that last stupid thing, that—ugh. Liam’s gonna love this. I can’t
believe…”
HARRY: “What thing?”
LOUIS: “Exclusivity. The most relationshippy thing in a relationship. I want you to myself. We
fight because I don’t have you and having you means confronting the fact that the need exists so I
break down like an idiot and whine about you not being there and when you’re there I act like I
don’t expect you to be there and shoo, go have fun Harry, go do everything I hate, I’m so proud and
then you leave and goddammit, how dare you do things without me—“ (catches his breath) “It’s
frustrating.”
HARRY: (pulling him closer, nose to nose) “I can stop. Without the title, I can stop. I don’t have
to. I can promise you if that’s what you want, I can give that to you. I’d be happy to.”
LOUIS: “I want the title because I’m royalty and therefore I need a title.”
HARRY: (breath hitches, laughs it off) “What title then?”
LOUIS: (groans) “Harry, we’re dating—this is dating—we are dating. We are in a dating-ship—
goddamn, how long have we been dating for? Maybe months, does Liam know? Does El know?
Zayn—Zayn definitely knows and Ed—that turnip slept with my man then—It’s fine I’m generous
for Ed, he’s allowed to break rules—”
HARRY: (interjected) “That’s not gonna work for me surprisingly…”
LOUIS: “What?”
HARRY: “Sharing stuff with my ex, especially you, sharing you with my ex—no, that would
probably kill me. I’ll have to veto that. I’m open to Zayn—?”
LOUIS: “Vetoed.”
HARRY: “Luke.”
LOUIS: “I’m not into incest.”
HARRY: “Liam?”
LOUIS: (thinks on it) “Liam. Liam’s cool.”
HARRY: (smile spreading, eyes lidding) “I’m gonna say it so brace yourself.”
LOUIS: (staring at Harry’s lips, caught up) “Say what?”
HARRY: (closes his eyes, leans in further, lips an inch away, whippers it) “I’m in love with you.”
(Louis flutters his eyes shut as well, holding his breath, frozen, hands grabbing Harry’s shirt)
“You’re the last one for me. You’re it. And I’m in love with you.”
LOUIS: (blurts) “I don’t know how to kiss people.”
HARRY: (cracks an eye open) “What?”
LOUIS: “Are we going to kiss?”

HARRY: “Are we?”
LOUIS: (blushing, rambling, full panic) “It looked like we were gonna kiss and I just said I don’t
know how to do that because I don’t do that often and this means a lot to me so I don’t wanna
screw it up with bad kissing but right now I literally cannot think of anything I’m supposed to
do…” (shaking, licking his lips, changing his mind, wiping them at the back of his hand, licking
them again) “Like do I touch your face or how are we gonna go about this because it needs to be
well-coordinated and like—“
HARRY: (shuts him up with a kiss, arms around Louis’ waist, smiling against his lips for a few
seconds, pulls away) “There. Done.”
LOUIS: “No! You ruined it. Let’s pretend that never hap—“ (Harry kisses him again, pulls back
smirking) “Stop doing that—“ (another kiss) “Harry, do it properly—you’re making me angry
now.”
HARRY: “I already did it. That’s it. I have a rule where I don’t give more three kisses a nigh—“
(Louis grabs Harry’s face, with both hands, pulls him into a deeper kiss, they both moan lightly,
Louis fingers carefully move to Harry’s neck, shaking against Harry’s pulse, as they keep kissing,
Harry chuckles against his lips, pushes him away) “I wasn’t finished talking—“
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes, pushes him on the bed, plants another kiss on his mouth, slowly easing up,
becoming more comfortable, smiling himself each time he pulls away, Harry’s lip still in between
his teeth) “How long does this last usually?” (kisses him again, sliding their lips together, pulls
back, biting his lip, whispering) “When are we opening our mouths?”
HARRY: (bursts out laughing, Louis blushes) “You’re making this way harder than it needs to be.
Just feel it…” (kisses him open-mouthed, licks Louis’ bottom lip, Louis keeps his mouth shut, his
lips tight, Harry pulls back sighing) “That, that was a cue for we were kissing with open mouths.”
LOUIS: “I wasn’t feeling it.”
HARRY: (leans back on the bed, chuckling) “We’ll work on it. Can’t believe you don’t know how
to kiss—” (Louis smacks him petulantly, Harry winks) “Pretty good though for a beginner.”
Insight
Chapter 100: Insight
LOUIS: (laying in bed, facing each other) “I know you’re awake… (hand softly going through
Harry’s curls) “You can stop pretending now. You suck at acting.”
HARRY: (smiles but eyes stay closed) “Mhmm, ‘ve been up for a while now. How d’you guess?”
LOUIS: “You breathe slowly when you’re asleep and right now you’re pretty much
hyperventilating.”
HARRY: (smile gets bigger) “No…” (quiet in a calm way) “Just excited that’s all.”
LOUIS: “Excited, right…”
HARRY: “Not like that.” (pause) “Okay, also like that but not because of that. That’s just there.”
LOUIS: (snorts) “It’s there alright.” (Harry grins) “Doesn’t it hurt to be that hard?”
HARRY: (one shoulder shrug) “Semi. ‘m used to it with you around.”
LOUIS: (flirtatious) “Yeah? I get you excited?”
HARRY: “I’m emotionally excited. I’m excited about you. You make me very excited—in an
emotional way. And other ways. Every which of ways.”
LOUIS: (fingers trailing down Harry’s face, following the outline of his jaw, stopping briefly at
his dimple) “How long have you been excited about me, aka awake and purring?”
HARRY: “I don’t think I slept at all tonight.” (giddy) “You kissed me and then expected me to
sleep? I was way too happy for things like sleep.” (pouts) “But you were just fine sleeping
apparently.” (moves his arm on Louis’ body, pulls him closer) “It’s okay, I cuddled you all
night…” (nuzzling his face in Louis’s chest, kissing his collarbone, fond) “Precious cupcake, all
mine.”
LOUIS: (amused) “Why didn’t you tell me? I had about zero hours of sleep as well. We could
have done stuff.”
HARRY: (humming against Louis’ skin, placing soft kisses everywhere) “Like what?”
LOUIS: “Like watched movies.”
HARRY: “What else?”
LOUIS: (knowingly) “Watched more movies? I don’t know, what else could we have done?”
(Harry kisses on top of a nipple, Louis shudders reflexively, cursing) “Sh—shit.”
HARRY: (smiling, slowly opening his mouth) “That’s all?” (slowly licking at the nipple, Louis’ is
holding his breath, Harry gives it a quick kiss before moving back on the pillow, snuggling it,
closing his eyes) “Good thing I didn’t tell you then. Besides, didn’t wanna be awake yet.” (sighs
contentedly) “I liked this too much.”
LOUIS: (cups Harry’s face, thumb touching his cheek) “I think I’ve touched every part of your
face by now.” (tapping Harry’s pink spots) “Every disgusting, non-perfect part.”
HARRY: (chuckles) “Cute.” (more self-conscious, touching the pimples himself) “I’m breaking
out bad, aren’t I?”
LOUIS: “Probably the food we’re eating. We should cook more often. McDo less often.” (Harry
pouts, Louis pokes at his lips) “Don’t be like that. Fries will make you fluffy-puffy.”
HARRY: “Fluffy-puffy… how did I ever found you intimidating? How did I ever think you were a
bad boy?”
LOUIS: (blushes, curls into Harry so Harry holds him tighter) “I am a bad boy. I’m the baddest.
Everyone’s afraid of me. I can destroy people. I’m so bad, newbies run in fear as soon as I open my
mouth.” (Harry laughs but nods) “Just…” (whispered) “Soft with you.” (even quieter, cheeks red)
“Because I’m you baby.”
HARRY: (pulls him on top so Louis is laying idly on his chest, Harry’s arms around him) “Yes,
you are. You can be soft with me.” (rubbing their noses together) “No one will ever know.”
LOUIS: (raises his head, starts poking Harry in the cheek) “You’re bad for my reputation.”
HARRY: “You probably need to shave if you want my skin to get better.”
LOUIS: “Why?”
HARRY: (grinning) “Rubbing faces with someone who has a beard makes it worse.” (Louis
blushes automatically) “No more beards for you.”
LOUIS: “I don’t care.” (touches one of the spots) “The rest of us, mortals, have flaws and you
should too. It’s only fair.” (leans closer so their noses are touching again, sarcastic) “Naturally all
this pimple talk got me in the mood.”
HARRY: (laughs) “Right. I’m vile. We’ve already established that. What’s with all the touching?
Payback for the eyebrow fixing?”
LOUIS: “Not quite…” (staring at Harry intently while Harry has yet to open his eyes throughout
the whole conversation) “I just felt like I could now…I had permission. Catching up on lost time.”
HARRY: (chuckles) “You can…” (lower) “You definitely can. Feel free to never stop.”
LOUIS: (leans in, their faces lined up, eyes half-lidded, whispers) “Feel free to open your eyes.”
HARRY: (lowers his voice as well) “Not yet.”
LOUIS: “Why?”
HARRY: “Too scared.”
LOUIS: “Of what?”
HARRY: “Monsters.”
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes) “Of what?”

HARRY: “Of not being in the dark anymore…” (bites his lip, confessing) “Scared I’ll wake up
and get punched in the face for not knowing last night was a dream.”
LOUIS: (to himself mostly) “I should have done that. I should have so done that. Pretended that
never happened and then acted all shocked—that’d have been hilarious!”
HARRY: “Hilariously lethal. Do you want me dead?”
LOUIS: “Would it have killed you? I’d have said ‘joke’ right after, like when I didn’t get fired.
You were only sad for a bit. Or when I almost died in a fire but then I didn’t. You get ten times
more happy when you’re sad first. I should have jumped out the window—well, pretended, then
ha, I’m still alive, you thought.”
HARRY: “Too far. Way too far.”
LOUIS: “Sorry. But the first would have been fine. Having you think you dreamt it all.”
HARRY: “I’d have probably been like, eh. Happens a lot. You have no idea how many times I’ve
woken up ready to blurt, ‘I need you inside me’ only to remember that friends don’t do that.”
LOUIS: (stunned before shaking himself out of it) “Open your eyes.” (hand moves to Harry’s neck,
fingers playing with the locks stuck to it from sweat) “I wanna see the green so I believe you better.
You never lie with your eyes.”
HARRY: (slowly opens his eyes, blinks a few times before noticing how close Louis is and smiling
warmly) “Good morning, beautiful.”
LOUIS: (breathy) “Good morning.”
HARRY: “I had the most wonderful dream last night. You’d never guess.”
LOUIS: “That so?” (Harry nods, looking at Louis’ lips, Louis licks them on purpose, Harry bites
his bottom one in anticipation) “What was it about?”
HARRY: “A prince.” (brings his hand to touch Louis’ cheek, caresses it with the back of his
fingers) “A brave, brave prince who finally slayed his biggest dragon.” (whispered longingly)
“And a happy ever after.”
LOUIS: (runs his thumb across on Harry’s bottom lip) “It’s not a happy ever after without a
proper kiss.”
HARRY: (fond) “You and your proper kisses.” (teasing) “Mine not good enough for you,
princess?”
LOUIS: “I…I don’t um…” (flushing) “I don’t recall—maybe you should uh…” (gulps) “Huh, this
is harder…with you like this, looking at me…” (volume lowering as he prepares himself for Harry
to kiss him but Harry stalls) “Um…”
HARRY: (almost touching lips) “Yeah?”
LOUIS: “It’s—it’s…you’re making it hard.”
HARRY: (smirks, still not moving to kiss him) “It?”

LOUIS: (blushes, moves his head to burrow it in between the pillow and Harry’s neck) “You’re
teasing me so bad right now.”
HARRY: (running his fingers down Louis’ naked back, following the strong lines of his muscles)
“You’re gorgeous.”
LOUIS: (mumbled from the pillow) “Don’t do that.”
HARRY: “What?”
LOUIS: “Don’t compliment me, makes it worse. I’m having trouble coming up with words as it is.
It’s very embarrassing.” (Harry keeps caressing him, goosebumps appear on Louis’ skin but he
relaxes, rocking slightly on top of Harry’s body, bare chests flush against each other) “I’m good at
flirting. I’m very smooth, very funny, super charismatic, womanizer really, I invented flirting, I can
flirt with anyone, I can flirt well, you should know—”
HARRY: (teasing) “You don’t need to sell yourself…” (kisses Louis’ shoulder) “I’m sold.
Plus…” (toying with the back of Louis’ boxer waistband, fingers lingering near it) “You taught me
how to flirt so I know how good you are.”
LOUIS: (breath hitches, barely audible) “High expectations, huh?”
HARRY: “Yup. Very high indeed.”
LOUIS: (wriggling slightly in anticipation) “You can if you want…” (embarrassed) “Like
touch…there.” (urgently) “On top. Go on top and…slow and stuff.”
HARRY: (doesn’t touch Louis’ ass, instead drags his palm up to rest against Louis’ back) “We
joke and tease but we’re not doing anything that stresses you out. I mean, hell Louis, yesterday I’d
juice my pants just thinking I could do this and now, you’re on top and we’re both hot and very
lined up right now.” (jerking forward a little to emphasize how close their crotches are) “Way too
fast.”
LOUIS: (mildly disappointed, surprising himself) “I mean, is it?”
HARRY: “Huh?”
LOUIS: “We’ve known each other for a bit, I’m saying.”
HARRY: “But you’ve not known this side of yourself for a day yet. You want to give it a fair shot,
not force something too early so that you convince yourself you made a mistake.”
LOUIS: “I am very good at sabotaging things I love.”
HARRY: (smiles) “I won’t let you this time. We’ll do it right.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, that’s fine. Yeah… I was saying that…I think you should try again. To convince
me.”
HARRY: “Of?”
LOUIS: “Of how proper your kisses are, I don’t remember how proper they are but I’m open to
re-testing that and you convincing me—shit, that sounded different in my mind, I’m not used to
asking for kisses so I’m still new at this.” (cups Harry’s face, leans in, eyes closed, stops before
kissing him) “That meant I wanted a kiss, I don’t know if you got that.”
HARRY: (pecks Louis’ lips) “Usually you don’t need to ask at all.”
LOUIS: “Eleanor did so I don’t know what the protocol is—“ (getting frustrated with himself)
“What I’m getting into here. I’m obviously out of my depth and trying really hard to get used to our
new dynamic.”
HARRY: (shushes him gently) “Hey, no sabotaging, remember? Nothing has changed. No new
dynamic. You don’t need to worry.”
LOUIS: “Well, there is something new—this isn’t the same, we’re not doing the same stuff. Ugh!”
(slides off Harry, sits up on the bed next to him, pulls his knees close, grumbles) “I hate this.”
HARRY: (winces) “That was quick.”
LOUIS: “No, I just. I want you to kiss me, okay? I really liked that and I want us to keep doing it.
Like now or later and I don’t want us to go back to our old dynamic because that didn’t involve the
kissing.” (getting redder) “Which I liked yesterday. Which I wanna do like now—if you want. If—
if that’s cool with you. We could kiss—why are you making me say this? You said I don’t need to
ask so…” (puts his head in his hands) “I’m bad at this.”
HARRY: (sits up, spreads his legs and pulls Louis between them, Louis’ back against Harry’s
chest, Harry’s chin on Louis’ head) “I have a plan.” (Louis crosses his arms on his chest) “Wanna
hear it?”
LOUIS: “It’ll suck but sure. Tell me.”
HARRY: (rocking them sideways) “When we’re inside, together, like this, I’ll assume you wanna
be kissed all the time unless told otherwise—“ (nuzzles Louis’ neck, plants wet, loud kisses all
over, Louis squirms) “All the time, everywhere, kiss tiny Louis or he’ll get mad. Is that right, baby
hedgehog?” (kisses Louis’ cheek) “Kiss his cheeks.” (another kiss on Louis’ other cheek) “And his
gorgeous cheekbones.” (kisses Louis’ shoulder, trails his hand down Louis’ arm to grasp Louis’
hand, brings it to his lips to kiss) “Kiss his dirty hands which he puts down his pants all the time.”
LOUIS: (mumbled) “I have itchy balls, okay? Give me a break. We’re home, I have the right to
scratch my balls once in a while.”
HARRY: “Yum. I could kiss those too.”
LOUIS: (shakes his hand free to smack Harry’s thigh, Harry laughs, Louis’ cheeks tint pink as he
says) “Later.”
HARRY: “I’ll shower you with love because trust me, if our only relationship problem is you not
wanting to ask about kisses, it’s already solved.” (hugs him tightly, lips against his neck, lovingly
whispers against it) “I’m addicted already.”
LOUIS: (trying to disguise his smile) “You’re such an idiot…It’s hard not to hate you. I try very
hard. Takes effort really.” (pushing Harry’s face away, leans back to look at him) “And outside?”
HARRY: “What about it?”
LOUIS: “You said when we’re inside, you would. And outside?”
HARRY: (hesitates, careful) “Outside you decide.”
LOUIS: (looks down) “I wouldn’t leave it up to me.”
HARRY: “Why not? It is up to you.”
LOUIS: “Because I’ll never make a decision that way. Better to just…I don’t know…” (half-
guilty) “Force me into it a couple of times until I get used to it, until I see that nothing will
happen.”
HARRY: (frowning) “Uh no.”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “I don’t want this to be just here. That’s not fair to you.”
HARRY: “Don’t think about what’s fair to me. Think about yourself first. Is that fair to you? That
something you like and makes you smile like this, makes you so happy, should be kept hidden
because other people get inconvenienced? Is that fair?”
LOUIS: “No, but it’s…how it is.”
HARRY: “Doesn’t have to be.” (before Louis can look away, grabs his face, holds him there)
“But it can. If this is all you’re comfortable with then that’s it. That’s a choice you’re perfectly
allowed to make.”
LOUIS: “That’s not a real relationship.”
HARRY: “Who said so?” (Louis shrugs) “Who gets to decide what’s real for us?”
LOUIS: “I want a boyfriend.”
HARRY: “And I am your boyfriend.”
LOUIS: “Everywhere. I want a boyfriend in public. You can’t be my house boyfriend. That’s
stupid—that’s not fair!”
HARRY: “I know that it’s hard to stay on this jumping board longer, especially when you see the
pool right there, especially when we’re both bathed in sweat and exhausted and sunburnt and
starved for this. We’ve been waiting so long and the thought of waiting longer, yeah, it sucks. It’s
not a nice one. But we can’t just pretend that the struggle wasn’t there.”
LOUIS: “I can’t you mean. I can’t be a normal boyfriend because despite wanting to I’ll probably
have another freakout. You’ve already predicted that and you’re probably right.”
HARRY: “I don’t want this transition to be jarring for you. You said we were dating and maybe in
a way we were but this obviously is a big deal for you, bigger than some other people who jump in
and out of relationships like they’re changing socks. Let’s take it slow.”
LOUIS: (sighs but is clearly relieved to hear that) “Does slow entail you still not kissing me?”
HARRY: “There’s a reason I’m not if you haven’t figured that yet.”
LOUIS: “What?”
HARRY: (trying and failing to keep a serious face, looks idiotically adorable) “We’re breaking
up, Louis.”
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes) “Right. Funny.”
HARRY: “Ha, I got you!”
LOUIS: “You never did. You also have to keep it up for longer, dumbass.”
HARRY: “I didn’t want you to think about it and decide it’s best that way.”
LOUIS: “What’s the reason?”
HARRY: “I have yet to brush my teeth. Unlike you who woke up early, snuck out like a snake,
freshened up and came back to be Sleeping Beauty, I have yet to be kiss-ready.”
LOUIS: “You could have said that instead of stalling.” (makes a show of fixing his boxers) “I got
blue balls waiting.”
HARRY: (laughs, moves out of bed) “Can’t wait to be able to fix that.” (stretches) “Boy, am I
running on coffee today. because who needs sleep. Starbucks?”
LOUIS: (hasn’t moved from the bed, is fidgeting with the covers) “You should give them a hint.”
HARRY: “Who?”
LOUIS: “You know, the gang, Lee, Nialler, them, all of them. You should give them a hint.”
HARRY: “Of…” (Louis cocks his head sideways expectantly) “Oh, oh, this? I should hint at this
—that this has happened?”
LOUIS: “Yeah. Like don’t tell them yet but…give them a hint so then they ask me and I tell
them.”
HARRY: “What kind of hint? Riddles, puzzles, clues?”
LOUIS: (blinks) “Right.” (openly scratching his neck) “What kind, hmm, let’s think, what kind of
sign can lead people to believe someone got some the night before, lets throw some ideas out.”
HARRY: (absolutely oblivious) “Um, okay, well, hmm…we’re throwing ideas ‘cause I already
said all mine.”
LOUIS: “Yes, any more ideas?” (cocking his head further to better reveal his neck) “You got any
thoughts?”
HARRY: “I could…tell them.”
LOUIS: “No, too direct. More like…” (coughing) “Something that speaks for itself.”
HARRY: “You could wear my clothes?”
LOUIS: “I already do that—which, now I understand would send a message, goddamn, was no
one going to tell me you were showing me off like a mini pony?”
HARRY: (cracks a grin) “Mini pony, yes, I’m gonna ride you like—“ (Louis gives him a look)
“Like the tiny horse that you are, very gently and with much grace so I don’t hurt your delicate
little back.”
LOUIS: (shaking the image out of this head) “What other things perhaps?”
HARRY: “We could hold hands?”
LOUIS: “That would literally be telling them—disturbing since we also do that at times.” (sighs
heavily) “I need emotional contacts because I’m a bit blind, aren’t I?”
HARRY: “Huh?”
LOUIS: “Never mind, what other things? Think Ed. What did you do when we met Ed? He
already knew because…”
HARRY: “Because I had told him I would fuck you sideways?”
LOUIS: (cringes) “Subtle.”
HARRY: “Because I threatened to rip his ballsack if he even thought of bringing up frotting
again?”
LOUIS: “Yeah, this is not really where I was aiming for. I was thinking more like the thing we did
the night before.”
HARRY: “Slept together. Yes. We do that every day here.”
LOUIS: “The thing we did the night before that we don’t do all the time, the special thing where I
said don’t do it but you were like Imma do it and I was like okie, because secretly I wanted you to
do it either way and it feels hella good, please continue. That thing.”
HARRY: “Uh…”
LOUIS: (face palms) “Harry, give me a hickey.”
HARRY: “What, now?”
LOUIS: “Yes now. Give me a hickey so they ask about it—like do you need me to think for you
—I’m a prize, show me off, you won, are you gonna hide the trophy in the basement now?”
HARRY: “First of all, you’re not a fucking prize because you’re a human and I’m not winning
anyone or losing them. Second of all, I’m not showing you off because you’re not a new shirt I
bought at the store but my boyfriend, a living, breathing being with feelings. You’re definitely not a
trophy. I don’t want you referring to yourself like that again.”
LOUIS: “What do you have against biting my neck?”
HARRY: “Nothing! I will bite it right now if you want.”
LOUIS: “I want.”
HARRY: “Okay, good, I…” (points awkwardly behind him at the bathroom) “Have to take a crap
first but then we can get to that fun stuff.”
LOUIS: “Romantic.”
HARRY: “Fine.” (joking) “Wanna come sit on my lap while I shit? I can multitask?”
LOUIS: “You know I will if you challenge me.”
HARRY: “No, don’t. I can’t poop with people watching.” (enters the bathroom, as he’s closing
the door) “Stay there. I need to magically turn into anything that’s not a pooping, pimply, sweaty
slug. Then I’ll seduce you, pony boy.”
LOUIS: (makes a face) “Is this what marriage is? Are we married? Why am I always a step behind
on our relationship status? I need to turn on my notifications.”
HARRY: (from inside the bathroom) “No, marriage would be if you were here conditioning your
hair while I did this. Now close your ears and sing.”
LOUIS: “Why?”
HARRY: “So you don’t hear the plops.”
LOUIS: “Are you sure we’re not married?”
HARRY: “Are they closed?”
LOUIS: (slumps back on the bed with a huge smile on his face) “They’re closed alright.”
HARRY: “I don’t hear you singing.”
LOUIS: “What do you prefer? Any special requests? Something by Ed Sheeran perhaps?”
HARRY: (semi-constipated) “Perhaps not. Or it’s gonna slither back inside.”
LOUIS: (laughs) “You need help? You need me to give you a hand?”
HARRY: (also laughing) “We don’t play with that.”
LOUIS: “I can play with something else.”
HARRY: “During?” (hums, Louis bursts into laughter) “Maybe when you’re old enough to sit on
me.” (Louis screams ‘douche’) “More comfortable that way.”
Chapter 101
SAGA 6: THE BATTLE FOR LEGS
Chapter 101: Details
JULIAN: “Hello there, I’m Julian and I have a PhD in Clinical Psychology from University of
Oregon. I specialize in anxiety and depression.” (Louis blinks at him uninterested, Julian is not
fazed) “You must be Louis.”
LOUIS: “Lou-ee, without the ’s’.” (sarcastic) “Oh boy, already on the wrong foot, I might need to
call a rain check on this.”
JULIAN: (polite chuckle) “Let’s start over then.” (fake cough) “Hi I’m Julian—“
LOUIS: “Please don’t say all those unnecessary details again. I have no idea what they mean.
Let’s get on with this.” (under his breath) “I’m having regrets already. Many.”
JULIAN: “Fair enough. Is this your first time talking to someone, Louee?”
LOUIS: “I talk to people every day actually. Part of my job, part of human life, I’d say.”
JULIAN: “Is this your first time talking to a therapist?”
LOUIS: “Some people talk to several—oh god, what’s wrong with them? Why do they need
multiple interventions? Is one not enough? I didn’t know this was a factory process. I was
unaware.”
JULIAN: “Some people need one, some two. Some move to other cities. Some don’t click right
away with a therapist—“
LOUIS: “I don’t think we’re clicking. Whoop, thanks then.” (pretends to get up from the couch)
“I’ll be off finding my second. I move on fast. Slut like that.”
JULIAN: “You seem tense, a bit irritated, very uncomfortable—”
LOUIS: (exaggerated) “Julian, my man, you never told you were a mind reader!”
JULIAN: (still pleasant) “I’m not, which is why I’ll ask. What’s on your mind? What’s been on
your mind lately?”
LOUIS: “Are you gay?”
JULIAN: “Um, excuse me?”
LOUIS: “What, is this a trick question? Did I stutter? Did I mispronounce that?”
JULIAN: “I don’t see how that’s important, my sexuality.“
LOUIS: “It is. Are you?”
JULIAN: “I’m not. I’d like to know how that is important? Are you gay?”
LOUIS: “Maybe.”
JULIAN: “Maybe.” (nods, jots down a few notes on his notepad) “Undecided then?”
LOUIS: “I…uh…suppose.” (flustered) “Look, no offense to you but I don’t wanna talk to straight
males who look like they just got their degree a year ago about my struggles. If you’re not gay
we’re not gonna click—I already predict it—let’s spare both our times and go separate ways.”
JULIAN: “I graduated seven years ago but thank you for letting me know I look young.” (Louis
gives him a brief, fake smile) “Why do you think my sexuality will come in the way of therapy?”
LOUIS: “Because you won’t understand and I frankly, I don’t want you to.”
JULIAN: “I won’t understand your maybe-gay issues because I’m straight.”
LOUIS: “Yes. You repeat yourself a lot. I don’t know if I like that. It seems like it takes up time.
Time someone is paying for. Thank god for Disney—do you like Disney? Do you frequent their
parks? You really should, if only to give back all this money they’re giving you. Do you talk to all
their crazy employees? How many of us are there?”
JULIAN: “I will repeat what I’m getting from you, summarize it let’s say, to make sure I don’t
misunderstand you. This process wouldn’t work as well if I thought you were someone completely
different, don’t you think?”
LOUIS: (being a little shit) “I am but a simple man. I speak English, with an accent at times, but
generally very coherently. I don’t need you to decode my sentences. They’re not that deep.”
JULIAN: “Alright. I’ll keep that in mind. You were saying…” (looks at his notes) “Straight
people can’t advise gay people?”
LOUIS: “Not on this specific issue.”
JULIAN: “So your issue stems from being gay.”
LOUIS: “Maybe.”
JULIAN: “From maybe being gay.”
LOUIS: “Yes. Which you’re not so I’d rather you call a friend who is and knows and can give me
real advice.” (stands up, adjusts his clothes) “Simon will cover—has covered everything, yes?”
JULIAN: “Yes, so why don’t we talk to each other today as to not let that money go to waste and
then next week—“
LOUIS: “This is a weekly thing?”
JULIAN: “It’s a whenever you want thing.” (motions for the couch, Louis doesn’t sit) “If it
doesn’t work out today—“ (raises his hand to stop Louis from interjecting) “I’ll send my notes to a
new therapist. I’ll recommend someone new who’s more…appropriate for you. We will go over
basics anyway today so might as well get that out of the way early, right? The new therapist can
dive right in.”
LOUIS: “Basics. What does that mean?”

JULIAN: “General facts, family, education, workplace, that sort of thing.”
LOUIS: “Why would we go over that? I’m not here to find a wife. I’m here to not be crazy. Why
the hell would you need to know my favorite type of ice cream and what I majored in in college?”
JULIAN: “You think you’re crazy?”
LOUIS: “No, but others think that and I’m trying to prove them wrong.”
JULIAN: “Sit down.”
LOUIS: “I don’t like this already, should have trusted my instincts…” (despite all, sits himself
down, uncomfortable, fidgeting with his hands, looking away) “What are the basics then? Let’s do
it quickly.”
JULIAN: “Age?”
LOUIS: “I’m twenty-five. I’m from Doncaster, which is this shitty town in England, sort of south,
not really tourist location. I graduated from Juilliard a couple of years ago, double-majored in
theatre and english literature. I like footie, acting and long walks on the beach. I sing. I sass. I have
trouble controlling my drug intake—only alcohol, mostly—only when I’m angry, which I won’t be
anymore because I’ve solved that issue, the issue that was bothering me. Come to think of it,
there’s nothing you can do to help me. I had a problem and I solved it myself so now I’m fine,
super fine, super well. I’m very happy.” (sarcastic) “Wow, would you look at that? I’m healed
already. Talk therapy does help.”
JULIAN: “I imagine you got to do a lot of acting in Juilliard. Great school. You must be very
smart, hard working as well.”
LOUIS: “That’s what you’re going to latch on from what I said?”
JULIAN: “Did you do any musical theatre? You mentioned singing.”
LOUIS: (trying to regain his footing) “Uh…yeah, I did that for a bit, for a lot.”
JULIAN: “Would you like to do it again?”
LOUIS: “I work for Disney. I don’t know if that’s on my file, probably is since they’re paying for
this but that’s what I do. That’s…what I’ll probably be doing for a long, long time. All I’ll be doing
in terms of acting. Then I’ll grow old, get fired, get some sad job as a manager somewhere and I
don’t remember what the question was.”
JULIAN: “If you had the opportunity, hypothetically speaking, would you want to get into
musical theatre again?”
LOUIS: “Yes. I wish I was good enough for Broadway but I’m not so, let’s not rub salt in the
wound. We’re here to heal issues, not cut old scars open in order to suture them again.”
JULIAN: “What would you consider an old scar? Just so I know to skim past those. Like you said,
those are healed so why waste time, right?”
LOUIS: (suspicious) “Right.”
JULIAN: “So…” (making a show of writing this down) “Topics to avoid because they’ve already
been solved…healed wounds, scars, as you said…” (looks up at Louis) “Would be?”
LOUIS: (stunned) “Uh…”
JULIAN: “Love for musical theatre at number one. Number two?”
LOUIS: “University. I don’t have regrets about uni, what I did, what I chose, where it got me.”
(Julian nods, motions number three with his fingers) “Home life. I’m not close with my family but
I’m okay with that—“
JULIAN: “Which family? I see here your mother has remarried.”
LOUIS: “Any family. I don’t wanna talk about anyone who would be considered family. I
don’t…” (struggling to find words) “I’m not like that with them.”
JULIAN: “Like what?”
LOUIS: “Like family. I’m not, I don’t know much about them so I wouldn’t be able to answer
your questions and they don’t know much about me so they’re a dead end. Nothing to explore
there. Nothing I haven’t come to terms with…” (mumbled) “Or given up on.”
JULIAN: “What else?”
LOUIS: “About my family?”
JULIAN: “What else needs no attention? Should we put drug intake in here?” (writing it down) “I
assume you know all the risks and factors so no need to re-hash that…”
LOUIS: “No!” (Julian looks up, Louis is shyer with his response, more reserved and vulnerable)
“That can stay. Off the list. That can stay off. It’s not really…I…uh…” (closing up again,
dismissive) “I mean whatever you want. It doesn’t matter anyway.”
JULIAN: (scratches out the sentences) “Off it is.” (casually) “Which drugs, just so we have
details, you know?”
LOUIS: “Alcohol. A lot…of alcohol. I used to get very drunk. Weed—is this going to affect my
job? Are you going to tell on me because I can’t lose this job. Especially not right now. I’ve come
here to fix my life not fuck it up completely.”
JULIAN: “Everything’s confidential. I’m bound by law to never reveal anything that is told in
here to anyone out there. This is a safe space.”
LOUIS: “Loopholes?”
JULIAN: “Hmm?”
LOUIS: “What are the loopholes? There’s always some. When can you break that law?”
JULIAN: “Nothing escapes you then. I am required to speak if I have enough information to
deduce you’ll bring harm to yourself or someone else. And I’m required to speak if you end up…in
legal trouble where my notes could shine a light on your intentions.”
LOUIS: (takes a minute to process that) “Nothing else?”

JULIAN: “Nothing else. All else is between us—well, and the future therapist you’ll be working
with after today.”
LOUIS: “Right. That’s another thing…that can stay off the list. The gay thing, that’s fair game.”
JULIAN: “Any significant others?”
LOUIS: (stiff) “Uh…” (blushing) “I uh…”
JULIAN: “No need to answer. We’ll put it on the list—“
LOUIS: (squeaky) “No, no.”
JULIAN: “No?”
LOUIS: (embarrassed, flushed) “I’ve—uh, I’ve someone and—and it’s okay, he can stay off the
list because I love talking about him anyway so I don’t mind. Don’t put him on the list. I’d have
nothing to say otherwise…” (mumbled) “He’s my everything—“ (catches himself) “I do everything
with him, I mean, that’s why he’s my…anyway. Keep him off.”
JULIAN: “Does he have a name?” (Louis looks unsure about the topic) “So when you refer to him
you don’t have to use any unnecessary adjectives that might make this whole process harder, more
time-consuming. Time is valuable like you pointed out.”
LOUIS: “Harry.”
JULIAN: (writing it down) “Harry then.” (looks up) “Anyone else that you interact with often that
might come up in conversation?”
LOUIS: “Um, yes, sure but, but he’s my boyfriend, Harry. I’d like that to be written there too, that
he’s my boyfriend. I didn’t say that at first but that’s…I think I should highlight it if this is going to
work between us—me and him—I think I should get used to the word. It’s fair that way.”
JULIAN: (sounding it as he writes) “Your boyfriend. Okay, got it. Anyone else?”
LOUIS: (nervous) “Aren’t you going to press more on that…?”
JULIAN: “Hmm?”
LOUIS: “On the Harry thing. I think you should stay on that topic for a bit more. I’m obviously
uncomfortable with it and that should be a hint for you to poke at me more.” (frustrated) “Why am
I doing your job for you?”
JULIAN: (smiles) “That’s not how I do it. I’ve a different style. Besides, we’re only getting the
basics today. No poking and pressing and pressuring and provoking and putting people in corners.
Lots of p-words, did you appreciate that, as a literature major?”
LOUIS: (looks down, more comfortable) “I appreciate it.”
JULIAN: “We were talking about important people in your life narrative.”
LOUIS: “I have friends. I have a lot of friends. They’re very important to me. A bit like family as
cheesy as that sounds.”
JULIAN: “Any one in particular?”
LOUIS: “Harry’s ex-s.”
JULIAN: “Excuse me?”
LOUIS: “His ex-boyfriend and his ex-love or whatever, I uh, I…think they’re cool. I like them. I
hang out with them.”
JULIAN: “You like your boyfriend’s ex-lovers?”
LOUIS: “Yes.”
JULIAN: “You get along with them? Hang out with them?”
LOUIS: “Yes, generally. I want them to like me.”
JULIAN: “Why?”
LOUIS: “Because I like them. They’re part of Harry.” (sheepish, embarrassed but obviously
smitten) “I’m a bit in love with him, Harry, and I…I don’t know—it’s weird, I guess. I don’t quite
understand it myself but it’s like there’s two of him, Harry. Two Harry-s. One that’s my friend and
mine and I obviously love a lot, care about, stuff like that, concrete things. And the other who…
who…”
JULIAN: “What’s the other like?”
LOUIS: “My idol.”
JULIAN: “Someone you’d like to become then?”
LOUIS: “No, I don’t know. It’s…I’m…proud of him? Fascinated? I can’t explain it. He gives me
hope. He as someone on his own, despite me, like as a person, he’s amazing, he makes me happy
the same way reading about inspirational people would. And that Harry, that’s where his ex-s get
involved, in that story. his life story, how he became the person he is today. Knowing them gives
me a glimpse, a better biography, a better book to read and I like that. I want more of that.”
JULIAN: “What’s Harry’s biggest achievement do you think?”
LOUIS: (snorts) “How he’d answer that or how I would?”
JULIAN: “How you would. He’d probably say you are.”
LOUIS: (bites his lip to hide his smile) “He probably would, yeah. He’s very sappy.”
JULIAN: “And you? What do you find most impressive about him?”
LOUIS: “He’s very flawed, first of all, I have to emphasize that. That he has bad things, bad habits,
bad thoughts, bad behaviors. He’s made mistakes. He makes mistakes. He’s not perfect at all and I
know that. I see that. I hold him accountable for it. I want him to face it and improve. I’m not
blinded by love or whatever. I’m not fawning on him. He’s far from flawless—“
JULIAN: “But he has something you want, or that you cherish a lot—that you aspire to have.
What’s that?”
LOUIS: “He’s um…he’s gay.”
JULIAN: “He’s gay?”
LOUIS: “Yes. He’s gay and he’s happy with that because some—some aren’t. Some are very
unhappy and I like that he’s gay and happy. It makes me happy.”
JULIAN: “Are you happy?”
LOUIS: “Thought you were gonna ask the other thing honestly.”
JULIAN: “You already answered that. You said maybe. Are you happy?”
LOUIS: (sad) “I should be. I’d feel like I was betraying him if I said no. I should say yes. I have
everything so I am, I guess.”
JULIAN: “Happiness isn’t constant. We all have bad days and good days. Sometimes the best
things happen to us on bad days. Sometimes good days are there for you to discover something you
already had. You don’t get anything new on good days, I think, just a fresh look at what you
already had.”
LOUIS: (opening up) “I’m scared of stuff. Underline that. I want that to be off the list for sure.”
JULIAN: “Stuff like heights, oceans, camels—I have this deathly fear of camels. Anything that
survives with no water is probably a death machine.”
LOUIS: (breathy chuckles) “Like that yes, but more like…judgment, rejection, loneliness, death,
groups. Of guys. Teams, for example. I don’t like teams, or dorms, or anything that involves men
hanging out together.”
JULIAN: “I get it. Locker-rooms and their smells, it would put the fear of god in anyone.”
LOUIS: “I didn’t say locker rooms. Why would you guess locker rooms?”
JULIAN: “Teams generally hang out in locker rooms, right?”
LOUIS: “Right.”
JULIAN: “So logical guess.”
LOUIS: “Right.”
JULIAN: “You liked football—“
LOUIS: (urgent) “Put that on the list!”
JULIAN: “On the never-to-mention-because-already-solved-list?”
LOUIS: “Yeah—no, I mean, isn’t there another list in there somewhere? A less final one, one that
doesn’t involve blacklisting topics.”
JULIAN: “We can start one. What shall we call this?”
LOUIS: “Stuff I need more time on. But…address them, like, tumors. Call them tumors because
they’re like tumors, not scars. They’re bad, quite painful, but you just can’t operate on them yet,
okay? Keep them there, scanned, be aware. A tumor list for future purposes.”
JULIAN: “Got it. Soccer and teams. What else should go on this list?”
LOUIS: (quiet) “I self-harm.”
JULIAN: (not stopping to question or react) “Okay. Anything else?”
LOUIS: “Um, I…old me.”
JULIAN: “How old?”
LOUIS: “Like…high school age, that old, around.”
JULIAN: “High school Louis. Anything else on our tumors list?”
LOUIS: “Well, I don’t know if this should go on there because it’s a bit urgent so I don’t know if I
can wait that long for it to come up but it’s also like something you wouldn’t wanna hear.”
JULIAN: “Why’s that?”
LOUIS: “Because you’re…you know.”
JULIAN: “A straight man?” (Louis nods) “I see. Does it have to do with—“
LOUIS: “With gay stuff. Stuff you’d find disgusting.”
JULIAN: “I don’t find gay stuff disgusting.”
LOUIS: (stuck) “Okay, but…”
JULIAN: “But I think you should test me. I have a great tolerance for this kinds of stuff. I’ve been
raised on the Internet. Nothing shocks me.”
LOUIS: (blurts) “Sex.”
JULIAN: “Sex. With your significant other.”
LOUIS: “Yes. That. Exactly.”
JULIAN: “Any…fetishes, strange things, where does the strangeness start, I’m not quite sure…”
LOUIS: “No, nothing, no strangeness. Just, I’d want that.” (wringing his hands) “I think of that. A
lot, since we sleep in the same bed and so I think of it.”
JULIAN: “Of being intimate with him?
LOUIS: “Yes.”
JULIAN: “You want to be intimate with your boyfriend?”
LOUIS: (red) “Yes.”

JULIAN: “Is that unusual for someone who’s in a relationship?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “This is my first real one.”
JULIAN: “I see. So remind me which list we should put this topic on?”
LOUIS: (struggling) “I want but I can’t. That list. Probably why I’m here to be honest…”
JULIAN: “Ah, so to be addressed before libido drives boy insane.”
LOUIS: (snorts) “Yeah, something like that. Circle that too so you don’t forget.”
JULIAN: “Out of curiosity, what point are we on in that front?”
LOUIS: “Which front?”
JULIAN: “What bases must still be covered before we scratch this goal out?”
LOUIS: (shy) “All.”
JULIAN: “All…the bases. You’ve done…”
LOUIS: “Nothing, yes. Except kiss. I do that. A bit.”
JULIAN: “Are you a virgin?”
LOUIS: “No, no. Only on my…” (squirming in discomfort) “My butt. I’m a butt virgin. But I’m
not normally, no, I’ve slept with women. A lot of women.”
JULIAN: “How was that?”
LOUIS: (half-shrugs) “I’m not a sexual being.”
JULIAN: “Meaning?”
LOUIS: “I’m weird. I get awkward. During. It’s just part of who I am.”
JULIAN: “Part of who you are. Can it be something you’ve learned along the way? Could it be
that?”
LOUIS: “It could.”
JULIAN: “Could it be because of the people you slept with? Strangers, women…?”
LOUIS: “Yes…probably is. But I’m like that with Harry too. I say stupid stuff when we kiss. I
can’t shut up. I’m very awkward.”
JULIAN: “What kinds of stuff do you say?”
LOUIS: “I ask for kisses, which apparently you’re not supposed to do.”
JULIAN: “Could that be because you’ve never learned the way? Or is the only possible
explanation for this behavior that you’re not meant to be a sexual being by nature?”
LOUIS: “It could be either, I guess. Either of those things you mentioned. So yeah, I don’t know if
I have enough evidence on that sexual being thing. Should probably test that theory more before
deciding.”
JULIAN: “I agree.” (taps the back end of the pen on the notebook so it clicks shut) “I think we
have a good start here. I’ll prepare these notes and the future therapist will know what to broach
and what to avoid. Good work for a day, huh? Not too painful?”
LOUIS: (staring at the carpet) “You don’t have to…”
JULIAN: “Send the notes? Yeah, I do. It’s part of the process. Not bad actually, doesn’t take
much time. We’re required to keep notes. It helps.” (stands up to put his notebook on the desk,
looks through some business cards) “I’ll try and find someone as soon as possible, someone who
lives close by. When would you want your next appointment?”
LOUIS: “Isn’t it like a weekly thing? I should probably stick to that, right?”
JULIAN: “Probably.” (writing a post-it note) “Appointment for Louis, next week. Got it.”
LOUIS: “You weren’t too bad.”
JULIAN: “Thank you. I do try. First session is always like pulling teeth but has to be done.
Always a first.”
LOUIS: (nods) “We could…continue. If you want, if you think you’d manage.”
JULIAN: “Continue…therapy? I think it’s probably a good idea to not leave it at that, if only for
the sake of mini-Louis who can’t wait to get some—important stuff right there.”
LOUIS: (swallowing his own pride) “We could continue together, I mean. You’re pretty cool. We
seem to get each other. Talking to someone else would probably require I do this entire thing again
and more work, don’t know if I wanna go through that awkwardness again.”
JULIAN: “Right, right. So would you suggest we keep scheduling appointments together then?
That would probably be easier, right?”
LOUIS: “Probably.”
JULIAN: “Weekly appointments, around the same time for consistency purposes, so we both
don’t get lost or forget.”
LOUIS: “Probably a good idea. Like this time, this time would do. I’m always out of work by six
so I’d be free no matter what shifts I get.”
JULIAN: “So next week, this time.”
LOUIS: “Yup.”
JULIAN: “Good then, I’ll pencil that in.”
LOUIS: “Good.” (pockets his hands, start heading for the door) “I’ll just…be heading out. Is
there a goodbye ceremony?” (Julian shakes his head, amused) “Okay, cool.” (about to leave, turns
around) “I’ll introduce you to him. You’ll get to meet him. It might help. I’m just working on
telling him that’s all. Maybe, some other time, in the future.”
JULIAN: (smiling) “Looking forward to it. See you next week then. I’ll send you my number in
case anything changes, like prior commitments or a need arises for you to get in contact with me,
for any reason.”
LOUIS: (nods, smiling at himself) “I’ll keep that in mind.” (chuckles) “Probably add it on speed-
dial, let’s be honest.” (settles back into a grateful smile) “Thanks though. Wasn’t…too bad. I’ll tell
Simon, give him good reviews. Your business will flourish.”
JULIAN: “Oh don’t. How am I gonna find ways to do the bare minimum then?”
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes, before he closes the door) “I’ll see you next week.” (Julien nods) “Good,
don’t forget or anything.”
Daily
Chapter 102: Daily
Scene 1: Eleanor
LOUIS: (sing-song, cheery) “Good morning, darling Eleanor. Oh how beautiful you look today.”
ELEANOR: (trying to untangle her messy wet hair in the mirror, no makeup) “I had a birthday
party, give me a break.”
LOUIS: (skipping towards her) “So pretty.”
ELEANOR: “I get it.”
LOUIS: (twirling around her) “All natural.”
ELEANOR: (spares him a glance, amused) “What do you want, Satan?”
LOUIS: (leaning on the locker next to hers) “Attention.”
ELEANOR: (mock searches with her eyes) “Where’s Harold?”
LOUIS: “In-my-pants-cause-we’re-dating.”
ELEANOR: (turns towards him) “What?”
LOUIS: (magnanimously pointing with both fingers at his hickey) “Observe.”
ELEANOR: “I don’t have my contacts on.”
LOUIS: (sighs) “Fine. Just take my word on it. There’s a massive hickey there.” (proud smile)
“Ha-ha. I win. You lose.”
ELEANOR: “What were we competing for?”
LOUIS: “Harry’s affection.”
ELEANOR: “Ha! I thought I lost that battle nine years ago.”
LOUIS: “You did but now it’s official. Now I’ve shat on your grave.”
ELEANOR: “Good to know.”
LOUIS: “I expected more freaking out. Like screaming. We’r only the most attractive people here.
And we’re together. That’s like, fangirl material.” (grabs her shoulders, shakes her) “Scream, El,
scream.”
ELEANOR: (screams randomly) “Finally, fucker.”
LOUIS: “This was severely anticlimactic.” (starts walking away, throwing his hands in the air)
“Why even date people if no one will care? Why?”
ELEANOR: “For your own happiness?”
LOUIS: “Shut up, witch.”
ELEANOR: “I am witch again, great. Well, congrats on the date.”
LOUIS: “Boyfriend!”
ELEANOR: (smiles) “Congrats on the boyfriend. Treat him well. He’s gone through hell for this.”
Scene 2: Niall
NIALL: (munching on a burger, mouth full) “Aren’t you gonna eat?”
LOUIS: (sitting in front of him, tapping his fingers on the table, nothing in front of him) “Maybe.”
NIALL: “Go get something. I’ll watch your stuff.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, yeah. Just wanted to get something out of the way first.” (Niall raises an eyebrow,
chewing) “I won’t have any appetite until…”
NIALL: “Alright…You look serious.” (wiping his mouth) “Should I be worried?”
LOUIS: (talking to the table) “No, not really…have you been?”
NIALL: “A bit, yeah. You’ve been… Li’s said, well. It’s been a weird time. After you guys went
back and then came back. It’s been strange. I know you’ll share with me when you’re ready so I
don’t wanna push it out of you but I do worry. I don’t want you feeling like you’re alone.”
LOUIS: “I’m not. I don’t. I have lots of people.”
NIALL: “Yeah…” (a bit sad) “You do…”
LOUIS: “Niall, I haven’t been fair with you.”
NIALL: “What do you mean?” (joking) “Oh we’re going heavy now. McDonalds is your heavy
place. I should have known.”
LOUIS: “You’re my best friend. Always been. It was just the to of us and you’ve done a shit-ton
for me and ever since Harry, I’ve…pulled away. We haven’t been proper friends.”
NIALL: “We have. We’ve chilled. We’ve hung out. We don’t party as much but hey, that’s a good
thing. I’m happy with that. You needed to get bored of drinking and you have.”
LOUIS: “I don’t want you to think I replaced you. It’s not like that. I don’t want you thinking in
college we were a duo and now, it’s me and him and I don’t need anyone else.”
NIALL: “Do you?”
LOUIS: “Yes, of course. I need all of you. All of my friends.”
NIALL: (smiles warmly) “Old Louis would have never confessed that.”
LOUIS: “Old Louis was a brat.” (softer) “But he was also your friend and you must miss him.”
NIALL: “You’re my friend too. Do I miss your crazy, snappy, nihilistic side? Sometimes, rarely. I
don’t miss your breakdowns.”
LOUIS: “I don’t either.”
NIALL: “So we shouldn’t go back.”
LOUIS: “I never asked how you felt about the Harry thing…”
NIALL: (shrugs) “You attached hard. He became your anchor and yeah, I was a bit jealous at first
but who you were with him, that guy, that was completely new. I’d never seen him and I liked him
so I could allow it, someone else be there for you.”
LOUIS: “I’m…” (visibly struggling, shuffling in his seat) “Nialler, I love him.”
NIALL: “I know. We talked about this remember.”
LOUIS: “I do but, it’s more than that between us. We’re all friends, brothers but that’s not me and
him.”
NIALL: “What is?”
LOUIS: “A couple of nights ago, he said he was in love with me.” (Niall’s eyes go wide) “And I, I
don’t know, I might not be there yet but I want to be. I will be. I’m letting myself be. I’m trying to
say that. That I decided that and I wanted you to know. And be there for me and, and not judge me.
I understand that old me would have never, god never, and would have never thought about it and
you, you might still think of me like that and be shocked but I’m different now and I… I’ve always
been really.”
NIALL: “I’ve seen you grow so am I shocked? Nah, not really.”
LOUIS: (chuckles) “No one seems to be.”
NIALL: “Do you blame us? We saw how good you were for each other.”
LOUIS: “You should have told me.”
NIALL: “You weren’t ready to hear it. And you’re not ready to say.” (Louis nods jerkily) “And
that’s fine. We’ll wait it out together.”
Scene 3: Luke
LUKE: “I am freeze.”
LOUIS: “Free-zing.”
LUKE: “I was gonna say that but my lips froze half-way through. What the heck, Florida, you
betrayed me.”
LOUIS: “You’re wearing tights. I’m in a dress. Let’s mourn me.”
LUKE: “You have sweats underneath. You cheat.”
LOUIS: (fake shock) “How did you know?”

LUKE: “Word spreads.”
LOUIS: “Speaking of which, has it?”
LUKE: “Has it what?”
LOUIS: “Spread.”
LUKE: “What has?”
LOUIS: “You know….me.”
LUKE: “You?” (Louis cringes) “Oh god, what did you do now?” (Louis makes a whiny noise) “Is
it bad? Is it scandalous?”
LOUIS: “Very. I’m ruined.”
LUKE: “Are you diseased?”
LOUIS: “What? No. Why does everyone guess herpes first? I got a rash once—man, shouldn’t
have said anything.”
LUKE: “So not another rash?”
LOUIS: “Well. There’s one on my neck…”
LUKE: (squints, moves closer, drags Louis’ shirt down to better see the mark) “That’s a hickey,
fool.” (lets go, looks away, relieved, then) “Wait, that’s a hickey. Someone gave you a hickey?
You let someone—did they sneak up on you? Is this the scandal? Someone molested your neck?”
LOUIS: “I allowed it. Suggested even.”
LUKE: “That’s a scandal in itself. You’re soft and mushy now.”
LOUIS: “Uh—yeah, that is a scandal but this is worse.”
LUKE: “Do tell.”
LOUIS: “Side-tangent, remember when you came out to me?”
LUKE: “Yeah…”
LOUIS: “Ta-da.”
LUKE: “What?”
LOUIS: “I am here.”
LUKE: “Are you on drugs? Is that it? Why you making me guess, mate?”
LOUIS: “Nothing to guess. I am here…to you…out.”
LUKE: “Out…?”
LOUIS: (opens his mouth, sighs, blinks annoyedly) “Harry gave me a hickey.”
LUKE: “Ok. Should we kill him?”
LOUIS: “Is that not cause for—?”
LUKE: “You and Harry do weird shit all the time. I never know where the line is.”
LOUIS: “Line between?”
LUKE: “Friends and…” (shrugs uncomfortably) “You know.”
LOUIS: “I do and it’s been crossed, is what I’m trying to get at.”
LUKE: “So…he upset you by assuming he could…do that?”
LOUIS: “So I’m fucking dating him.”
LUKE: (choked laugh stopped abruptly) “Aren’t you?”
LOUIS: “I am. That’s what I said.”
LUKE: “Yeah, we all say that. Word does spread.”
LOUIS: “It’s the truth.”
LUKE: “Innit?”
LOUIS: (frustrated) “Yes. Officially.”
LUKE: (catching on) “Officially…”
LOUIS: “I am…I did—said, I kissed him. We kiss. It’s…I…” (scrunches his face with his hands,
whiny) “Luke!”
LUKE: (gaping) “You…”
LOUIS: (still covering his eyes) “Yup.”
LUKE: “You… Harry…”
LOUIS: “Yup.”
LUKE: “You… Harry… officially.”
LOUIS: “Yup.”
LUKE: “Ah.” (long silence, Louis eventually removes his hands slowly) “So. How biggle is his
pickle?”
Scene 4: Zayn
LOUIS: (skips the coffee line to get to a weary Zayn) “Zayn!”

ZAYN: (surprised but too tired to react much) “Sup?”
LOUIS: “I am date Harry. Dating. Harry. I am dating. We are dating. Harry and I. Like with the
boyfriends style.
ZAYN: (blinks) “Cool.”
LOUIS: “Oh…” (awkward staring, Louis flushes) “Uh yeah, thought you should…”
ZAYN: “Forgive me for not leaping for joy. Bad back, you know?”
LOUIS: (nervous chuckles) “Ha. Lion King. Great—great movie. Okay, well, I’ll be leaving
now…without my dignity and great, yeah, good catching up with you. Nice face. Have a nice day.
Come by sometime. I’ll be dating Harry.” (sneaks back out of line) “Good talk.”
ZAYN: (calling after him) “About time, Tomlinson.”
LOUIS: (awkward wave, cafe door half open) “Got you, Z-dog. Ugh…” (grumbles the rest of it as
he leaves) “Should have done balloons…”
Scene 5: Liam
LIAM: (door opens, they walk in) “Yup, you have definitely moved in.”
LIAM: “I see your influence in the decor. The subtle yet powerful stench of dirty laundry, mixed
with, what’s that, food rotting outside the fridge…” (looks at the take out on the counter)
“Chipotle, your signature lazy meal? Yup, there’s a certain sense of Tomlinson in here.”
LOUIS: “Fuck you.”
LIAM: (walking in, stumbling on clothes, trying to find floor space) “Besides, only you can
manage this sort of mess.” (picks up a shirt, realizes it's wet, throws it again) "That's wet. Why is
that wet? Tell me I did not just touch something of you, some part of you I should not become
intimate with.”
LOUIS: “My semen, yes.”
LIAM: (makes a face) “Ew, Louis…” (stares at him then cringes again) “Ew, bro.”
LOUIS: “It’s coke, you idiot. I forget where I put stuff at times…stumble on it half-asleep.”
LIAM: “Almost worst. How do you live like this?”
LOUIS: “It’s not that bad. You think it’s bad?” (self-conscious, scratching his arm) “I was gonna
pick those up when I did laundry.”
LIAM: “When was that decision made? Five years ago?”
LOUIS: “Yesterday. I was supposed to do it today but then I played XBOX and jacked off.”
LIAM: “To what? Your dirty laundry?”

LOUIS: (sarcastic) “Yes, Liam, I picked up a pair of Harry’s undies and sniffed them while
beating off.”
LIAM: (raises an eyebrow, amused) “You beat off to Harry? Nice.”
LOUIS: “The smell of his ball sweat, to be specific.”
LIAM: (grinning) “But you beat off to Harry.”
LOUIS: (casually) “Don’t you beat off to Sophia?”
LIAM: “Um, no. Because that woman puts the fear of god in me.”
LOUIS: “Before that. Before she became a bitch that sits on your face and suffocates you with her,
you know?”
LIAM: “I don’t know whether to be impressed that you guessed or worried that this has become
news now.” (Louis grins) “But no, I don’t and didn’t. Always porn.”
LOUIS: “Well, I never liked porn much plus…” (shrugs, gulps lightly) “Plus, I don’t see why I
shouldn’t jack off to my boyfriend.” (rapid fire, blushing) “I find him very hot. He gets me there
quickly. I don’t need some bitch with fake boobs.” (in one breath) “Fifa or PES?”
LIAM: “Fifa. Wait…”
LOUIS: “Yes, Fifa? Good choice.”
LIAM: “Wait…”
LOUIS: (sitting on the floor, turning on the XBOX to have an excuse to not look at him) “Come sit.
Let’s get a game in before Harry comes home with dinner.”
LIAM: “This is weird.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, you're being weird.”
LIAM: “Um, I don’t know if you noticed—Freudian slip if you didn’t—but you just said the b-
word.”
LOUIS: “Boobs?”
LIAM: (squeaking) “You didn’t notice you said the b word!” (sitting on the bed pensively, hands
on his knees) “I’m frightened now.”
LOUIS: “What?”
LIAM: “Something paranormal is happening.”
LOUIS: “Stop being weird and choose a team.”
LIAM: “I hear voices.”
LOUIS: “Are you playing or not?”

LIAM: “Will you murder me now?”
LOUIS: “I will if you continue this.”
LIAM: “Why do you have emotions all of a sudden? These feels, where are all of these coming
from?”
LOUIS: “What are you talking about?”
LIAM: (slowly) “You think Harry’s attractive…”
LOUIS: (sighs) “You’re trying to piss me off.” (starts playing by himself) “I’m gonna ignore you
now.”
LIAM: “Do you think he’s attractive?”
LOUIS: “Yes, Liam. I think he’s very attractive.”
LIAM: (in glee) “What else do you think?”
LOUIS: “About what?”
LIAM: “Harry.”
LOUIS: (growing redder by the second) “I like him? A lot? I think he’s amazing? Now let’s play
fucking Fifa, it’s not that big of a deal, whatever, I’m not like…let’s play.”
LIAM: “Like like him?”
LOUIS: “Yes, Liam, I like like him…” (quieter) “He’s my boyfriend.”
LIAM: (gasps dramatically) “He did it again… Who’s Harry again?”
LIAM: “Why do you jack off to him? Why do you like him?”
LOUIS: “Because he’s my boyfriend?” (noticing Liam’s teasing him) “We just went over this less
than five seconds ago. Let’s play now.” (pouts) “I did a thing and we’re a thing and…Liam,
please.”
LIAM: (screeches madly) “Is this a prank? Am I on Jimmy Kimmel Live?” (to himself, chanting)
“Larry is real. So real. Woah…so real.”
LOUIS: (rolling his eyes) “You took E, didn't you? Why? It's the middle of the week.”
LIAM: “You said ‘boyfriend’!” (mock horror) “You meant it!” (runs into the kitchen, making
pterodactyl noises) “Help me.”
LOUIS: “Where the hell are you going?”
LIAM: (comes back holding a butcher’s knife) “Stay away from me, demon.”
LOUIS: “The fuck are you doing? Have you lost your mind?”
LIAM: (waves the knife in front of him) “Why is Harry your boyfriend?”
LOUIS: “What do you mean why? Can’t I? Isn’t that a thing?”
LIAM: (makes a cross in the air with the knife, mumbling under his breath) “Dear lord, father of
all that’s good and holy, absolve us from the demons. Let Satan’s influence dissolve when faced
with the gates of heaven. Let our wings—“
LOUIS: “This is why people don't do drugs on weekdays.”
LIAM: “It speaks. It speaks.”
LOUIS: “Are you having a bad trip because if you are I’d like you to put that knife somewhere
that’s not my throat.”
LIAM: “It threatens us.”
LOUIS: “You’re clinically insane right now. Let’s play. Put the knife down and pick a goddamn
team.”
LIAM: “But he—you—are we really going to glide over the fact that you’re in a relationship. You,
of all people! You. Dating Styles. Styles of all people. You. Styles. Stylinson. Hey, I just made that
up. You liked that? Larry Stylinson. Brilliant, Liam—“
LOUIS: “What?”
LIAM: (dramatic) “And them Liam created Larry Stylinson and the world was a better place. It
only took like seven months of them flirting like birds.“
LOUIS: (shaking his head) "How does Zayn deal with you?"
LIAM: "Worship me, mortal. I made your dick happen.”
LOUIS: “Please never do drugs again.”
HARRY: (door opens, Harry comes in from work, on his phone at first) “Babe, Simon’s emailing
me about out—“ (spots Liam standing in the hallway, startles badly) Fuck me, you gave me a heart
attack. Hi Liam.” (sees that he has a knife in his hand, backs into the door) “Um? That’s… not
safe.”
LIAM: (waving with the knife, smiling) “Hi, Harry.”
LOUIS: (not looking away from the screen) “Liam is having an episode because he’s a dweeb and
I hate him.”
HARRY: "Oh. Of course…” (not moving from the door, mock whispering) “Lou, he has the bread
knife.”
LOUIS: “I’ve noticed. You should probably not try to wrestle that away from him."
HARRY: "Probably."
LIAM: “I was just asking Louis some questions.” (grinning mischievously) “Very interesting
questions.”
HARRY: "Um...alright, then." (nervous giggle) “Okay, I’m just going to go in now. If you don’t
mind. If that doesn’t disturb your little whatever you have going on there.” (walks slowly around
Liam, towards the room, eyeing Liam warily) “Put that back when you're done with it.” (to Louis)
“Weren't you supposed to do laundry today?"
LOUIS: (looks up at him without moving from the carpet, pouting, puckers up) “Kiss?”
HARRY: (pecks him, stands up again, smiling) “You still need to pick up everything from the
floor. That won’t make me forget.”
LIAM: “Did that just happen?"
LOUIS: “Yeah, Liam, we kiss. We do that stuff. Boyfriend, remember? Why are you being like
this? All I wanted was a chill game-date where I tell you I’m sorta gay and you’re like fine, man,
I’ll pretend I knew that all along and we didn’t go through nine months of drama to get there.
That’s all I freaking wanted. Just…just, let it be like this, okay?”
HARRY: “Not to interrupt but he's holding a knife, love. Let me remind you of that."
LIAM: (grinning) “I am holding a knife.”
LOUIS: "Kill me. It'd be less torturous than what you're doing already."
HARRY: (smiling) “Did I miss something?”

Date
Chapter 103: Date
HARRY: (in a movie theatre, staring at the posters of the movie showings, holding Louis’ hand,
turns towards him with a wince) “Lou?”
LOUIS: (too busy scanning the area with his eyes) “Hmm?”
HARRY: “Louis.” (shakes their hands slightly, squeezes Louis’ hand when Louis still doesn’t face
him) “Lou?”
LOUIS: (finally turns towards him) “Yeah, what’s up?”
HARRY: (sheepish) “You’re cutting off my blood circulation, love.”
LOUIS: “What?”
HARRY: (looks down at their hands where Louis is gripping Harry’s so tightly, Harry’s fingers
are almost white, but he’s smiling ) “A little less, maybe?” (caresses the back of Louis’ hand with
his thumb, gentle) “Let go just a little bit, I’ll still be here.”
“Oh…” (notices, lets go of Harry’s hand completely immediately, frazzled) “Oh. I uh.” (blushes,
annoyed at himself) “Sorry. Didn’t notice.”
HARRY: (smiles fondly) “It’s okay. No damage done.” (Louis is glancing at people who are going
about their business) “Is everything okay? Are you okay?”
LOUIS: (eyes back on Harry, forced smile) “Yeah. It’s good. Yeah, yeah. I’m buzzin’. All good.”
HARRY: “Sure?”
LOUIS: (nodding) “Yeah, just…unnecessarily wired.” (weak chuckle) “Shouldn’t have had that
coffee on the way.”
HARRY: “Do you want to hold hands again?”
LOUIS: “I suppose we should.”
HARRY: (shrugs) “Well, we don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
LOUIS: “I want to.”
HARRY: “You don’t have to want to, you know.”
LOUIS: “What?”
HARRY: “Just, it’s not something that I expect or—I mean it’s nice, I like it a lot but you
shouldn’t think you have to do it and you should want to do it.”
LOUIS: “Isn’t that what people in relationships do?”

HARRY: “It’s one of the things they do—and I told you we don’t need to do what they do.”
(grabs his hand softly, looking at their lightly tangled fingers) “We can do what we do.” (looks up,
eyes shining) “What we’ve always done? Nothing has to change with us.”
LOUIS: “We used to do this.” (motions with his head around) “The movies. We did this all the
time so I don’t really know why I’m being like this now.” (gets closer until he can smush his face
on Harry’s chest) “I’m sorry.”
HARRY: (wraps an arm around Louis’ shoulder) “Like what, babe?”
LOUIS: (mumbled) “Like I’m about to die.”
HARRY: (amused and surprised) “What? Why?”
LOUIS: “I don’t know. I might die. I don’t know what to do and when that happens I think let me
die. It’s like middle school—I’m a middle school uncool kid.” (mock sobbing sounds on Harry’s
chest, Harry runs his fingers through Louis’ hair) “This is hard.”
HARRY: “You don’t know how to pick a movie?”
LOUIS: (petulant) “No, I know that.”
HARRY: “Buy tickets then?”
LOUIS: “No.”
HARRY: “Use money?”
LOUIS: (pulls back, blinks annoyedly) “Harry.”
HARRY: “Get popcorn?”
LOUIS: (trying not to smile) “You’re a twat.”
HARRY: (smiles too) “Put gummy bear in the popcorn when I’m not looking so I get confused?”
LOUIS: “I don’t know how to watch movies with…you.”
HARRY: “We watch movies all the time.”
LOUIS: (pulls away completely, holds Harry’s hand, quieter) “Not like this.”
LOUIS: (motions with his head at a girl and a boy, embracing and smiling at each other and
kissing each other’s cheeks) “Like them?”
HARRY: “Who?”
LOUIS: “Them.”
HARRY: (frowning) “Who are they? Do we know them?”
LOUIS: “No, they’re randoms. Two random people in a relationship.”

HARRY: “Okay…”
LOUIS: “Like us. Like them. Both of us are.”
HARRY: “Are what? In relationships?”
LOUIS: (blushes) “In like.”
HARRY: “In love.” (Louis gets redder, crushes Harry’s hand again) “Babe—“
LOUIS: “Sorry.” (relaxes his fingers, lets his hand lay there limply) “Sorry. I’m stressed.” (pushes
his fringe out of his eyes) “I’m nervous. Feels like a freaking audition all over again. I’m excited
and I want it but like I wanna vom.”
HARRY: (pulls his hand away) “One thing at a time then. Let’s buy tickets first.”
LOUIS: “Why did you do that?”
HARRY: “What?”
LOUIS: “Pull away.”
HARRY: “I thought. It was making you anxious. It was too much.”
LOUIS: “Holding hands is too much?”
HARRY: “For you—for now, for now it’s too much.”
LOUIS: (embarrassed, almost in one breath) “Fuck you—I hate myself.”
HARRY: (chuckles) “And I love you. I think we’re good.”
LOUIS: (can’t stop blushing and has noticed at this point, palming his face) “Yeah, okay.”
HARRY: (pulls Louis’ hand away from his eyes) “We’re good?”
LOUIS: (stares at him for a few seconds, gulps, licks his lips) “Yeah.” (they fond some more
before Louis’ blinks awake) “Don’t tell the others.”
HARRY: “That we’re dating?”
LOUIS: “No, um…” (busted look) “I sort…of uh did all that.” (rushed) “Hope you don’t mind.
Hope you didn’t have a ceremony in mind. I just needed it done, like immediately, I need all that
over with so I didn’t have to think about it and so it was official. I couldn’t back out anymore and
hide. I just…now it’s done. Now I am and we are and it’s done.”
HARRY: (lost for words) “As long as you’re happy, love. That’s all I want.”
LOUIS: “The pet-names have like tripled.”
HARRY: “What?”
LOUIS: “You call me stuff more often now.”

HARRY: (his turn to blush) “Sorry. I’m just used to—I go overboard. I get very cheesy and I think
of you now, I think. Sorry, I’ll reduce.”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “I don’t care.” (barely audible) “I don’t want them to lose meaning that’s all.
When you say it now it makes me giddy and I don’t want that to end—I don’t want it to be a
routine. It’s very special to me.”
HARRY: (brings Louis’ hand to his lips, kisses it, Louis almost yanks it away, jerks but stays put)
“Don’t worry.” (stares at him warmly) “Even if this becomes routine, I’ll find new ways to make
you feel special. I’ll make sure you always know.”
LOUIS: (groans with a smile on his face) “You are so cheesy.”
HARRY: “I’m in love.”
LOUIS: “Ugh, so, so, so, so, so cheesy.” (smirking, lip half bit) “I knew you’d be like this.”
HARRY: “You thought about me in a relationship.”
LOUIS: “Not with me but you were, uh, you were nice with other people so I knew you’d be nice
with me too.”
HARRY: “If by nice you mean obsessed then yeah. I am and will be.”
LOUIS: (more serious) “You shouldn’t be.”
HARRY: “Oh?”
LOUIS: “It shouldn’t be about obsession. It’s too intense. It’s been very intense until now, between
us. And I’m not saying we should not be like intensely attracted to each other because…I am, a
lot… I’m just saying I don’t want to be that on all the time. I have you and it’s a bit confusing now
to think of that but I don’t want to always be thinking of that. I want to reach a stage where I’m
happy and calm and content and…” (bites his lip again) “And secure with you. Enough that I don’t
have to be thinking of it all the time.” (ashamed) “And I’m rambling, in a movie theatre, with
people around and our movie starting. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that would be such a long
thought.”
HARRY: (smiles) “I’m more than happy to skip the movie if I could hear you rambling every
day.”
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes) “What next? You want to travel the world with my pre-cum as your only
source of water?”
HARRY: (stunned) “I—oh—uh, that can be arranged too.”
LOUIS: (drags him to the ticket line) “Come. I know what you’re trying to do, but it’s not gonna
work.”
HARRY: (makes himself heavier but moves to wait behind people) “What am I trying to do?”
LOUIS: “Make us miss James Bond so you can watch your stupid chef movie since you were a
baker and what not.”
HARRY: (grins) “Not quite.”

LOUIS: “What then?”
HARRY: (wraps his arms around Louis from behind, nuzzles his nose in Louis’ neck under his
ear) “Make us miss James Bond so I can kiss you all over at home since you’ve been teasing me
all day.”
LOUIS: (elbows Harry in the chest lightly) “Don’t be a hermit. We’re on a date.”
HARRY: (whiny) “But we have all these movies at home and they’re great and they can be
watched in various states of undress.”
LOUIS: (snorts in disbelief) “Don’t be naughty, Styles.”
HARRY: (hugs him tighter, kisses his temple) “I won’t. I’ll be a good boy—“
LOUIS: “Nope. None of that. Children give me PTSD. I don’t want you to be my child.”
HARRY: (laughing genuinely) “Fine. You can be my child.”
LOUIS: “Even creepier somehow.”
HARRY: “Fine. We can both be full consenting, functioning adults.”
LOUIS: (dry) “How vanilla of you.”
HARRY: (gruff) “I bought you expensive underwear…Sexy, sexy underwear.”
LOUIS: “Harry! People.”
HARRY: (whispers lower now) “I know, babe, but fuck ‘em.”
LOUIS: (almost amused in his shock) “Harold, when did you?”
HARRY: “When did I what?”
LOUIS: “Become someone that swears, god damn, who hurt you? Who ruined you?”
HARRY: (rolls his eyes, sideways smirk) “You.”
LOUIS: (mock shock) “Me?!”
HARRY: “You said you liked it. It made you..um, hot and bothered?”
LOUIS: “You’re filthy—wait, let’s get this first.” (Harry whines when Louis tries to pull away
from his hug) “Haz, wait, wait.” (chuckles, the girl behind the glass raises an amused eyebrow,
Louis coughs, suddenly aware of other people) “Two for “Spectre”, please. The one right now.”
HARRY: (gives him space, only one hand resting on Louis’ waist lightly, joking) “Last second to
make the right decision.”
LOUIS: “Idiot, quit.” (notices the girl frowns at the insult) “I’m whipped, don’t worry. He’s just
dumb.” (she gives quick smile slides the tickets over) “Thanks, love.”
HARRY: (both walk over to the concessions stand, Harry pouting) “You’ll call her love but not
me?”
LOUIS: “That’s a different kind of love. That’s the you’re cute and helpful love.”
HARRY: “Cute?”
LOUIS: “In a platonic girl sense.”
HARRY: “She’s not cute. I’m cute.”
LOUIS: “You are cute. Very cute, especially jealous. It suits you.”
HARRY: “And me? What kind of love am I?”
LOUIS: “The I wanna court you fairly but really it’s hard not to just take you home and have my
way with you love.”
HARRY: (eyebrows high, high-pitched) “Really!?”
LOUIS: “No, airhead. I’m teasing you.”
HARRY: “Oh.”
LOUIS: “I mean, I do want to be fair with you. With myself too. I don’t want us to be like those
couples that disappear from being humans once they’re together.”
HARRY: “I’m no human.” (pulls him to his chest again, as Louis observes the tickets, hugging
him from behind, chin on Louis’ shoulder) “Now that you gave me one, you have to put up with me
forever. I am leechy.”
LOUIS: “We should get a combo. And peaches. And the sour things.”
HARRY: “Whatever you want, bubby.”
LOUIS: “And chocolate and coke and everything.”
HARRY: (cutely) “Okie. Baby wants, baby has.”
LOUIS: (pushes him away) “Ugh. You’re too good.”
HARRY: (Louis orders the snacks while Harry fonds over him) “You’re too good.”
LOUIS: “Original compliment there. Did it take long to think of?”
HARRY: “You are.” (longing) “God, you are. You are so good.”
LOUIS: (hands full of snacks) “A little help here if you’re done fawning?”
HARRY: (grabs the popcorn and candy while Louis holds the cokes) “I can’t stop wanting to say
that I love you.”
LOUIS: (sipping from the coke) “Do stop.”
HARRY: “Okay, I’ll try.”

LOUIS: “Awesome.”
HARRY: (Harry hands the two tickets to the usher) “We should have watched the chef movie.”
LOUIS: “Stop for a second.” (Harry stops walking, Louis is putting down the cokes on a bench)
“Put those down too.”
HARRY: “What are we doing?”
LOUIS: (fishing out his phone) “Taking a selfie.”
HARRY: “What?”
LOUIS: “I’m documenting.” (pulls Harry’s shirt) “Come, fish-face.” (Harry leans in, kisses Louis
on the cheek as Louis takes the picture) “Ok.” (stares at the picture, finally a smile splits his face)
“I like it. Give me the ticket?”
HARRY: “Which one? This?”
LOUIS: “Yeah, give me one. You can throw the other one out.”
HARRY: “They won’t check again. It’s theatre thirteen.” (hands Louis the tickets anyway, goes to
pick up the food) “What do you need it for?”
LOUIS: (still staring at his phone) “Our book.”
HARRY: “We have a book?”
LOUIS: (puts the ticket and the phone in his back pocket, picks up the cokes) “Yeah, we’ll have a
book. Of memories. And this will be one. Date one.” (notices the awe in Harry’s face, blushes)
“What?! Jealous I thought of it first? Jealous I’m gonna be cheesier than you for once? Jealous you
wish you were so smart and smitten that you thought of it? Huh?”
HARRY: “I am.”
LOUIS: “Good. Be. I did it better.”
HARRY: (smirks, mimics Louis) “I did that good; you did that shit?”
Daring
Chapter 104: Daring
LOUIS: (entering Harry’s room, comfortably holding hands) “He looked old! He looked like he
was gonna fall apart.”
HARRY: (closes the door, not letting go of Louis’ hand) “Yeah, they have to find someone else
soon, probably.”
LOUIS: (pulls Harry’s hand so they’re chest to chest, smiles coyly) “And you? Will you find
someone else soon too?”
HARRY: (grinning) “No.” (pushes Louis’ fringe out of his eyes, kisses his forehead) “I have all I
need.”
LOUIS: (goes up on his toes, practically bouncing in excitement) “Sure? Sure you don’t need
anything else?” (licking his lips) “Nothing I can give you to um, make it better perhaps?”
HARRY: (chuckles) “I remember when I was bad at flirting.”
LOUIS: (stunned, recovers, shoves Harry’s chest) “Dick. Ruin the mood, why don’t you?” (walks
in the room, dramatic) “And here I was just trying to make your greatest fantasies come true.”
HARRY: (follows him, laughing) “You’re the one constantly adding shit to our foreplays.”
LOUIS: (points his tongue out) “Yuck.”
HARRY: “Yup, yuck.” (grabs the bottom of Louis’ shirt, pulls him close again, nose to nose) “But
it takes more than that to ruin my mood.” (palms Louis’ waist) “I’m always on with you around.”
LOUIS: “Yeah?” (backs away slowly, teasing him) “I don’t see it…” (jumps on the bed, landing
on his ass, blinking up at Harry who is frozen, eyeing up from Louis’ legs to his torso to his face)
“All talk out there.”
HARRY: (gulps, realizes how loud the gulp is, nervously giggles) “I’ll probably start drooling any
time now, just warning you.”
LOUIS: (cracks a smile) “Come?”
HARRY: (nods, looks at Louis) “Slow, okay?” (Louis nods, Louis walks up to him, gets on the
bed, sits) “As slow as you need.”
LOUIS: (notices Harry’s waiting for him, gingerly crawls into Harry’s lap to straddle him) “…I
bet you’ve dreamed about this.”
HARRY: (lowered voice, wrapping his arms around Louis’ waist but only touching his back,
rubbing it slowly) “I have. Many times. But nothing compares to having it be real.”
LOUIS: (nervous chuckles) “There’s no off switch to your cheese, huh? It’s like a broken nacho
drip.”
HARRY: (kisses Louis’ cheek) “You’re scared.”
LOUIS: (gulps, chuckles, inhales) “I…uh…”
HARRY: (frowns) “Should we stop?”
LOUIS: “No, no.” (palms Harry’s face) “No, it’s okay.” (brings Harry’s face closer, closes his
eyes, takes a few deeper breaths) “I’ve just never been allowed this before so I’m not used to it…”
HARRY: “This?” (kisses Louis’ lips) “The kisses?”
LOUIS: (nods, breathing faster) “Yeah. That.” (hands caress down to move so one is on Harry’s
neck, the other pushing the along curls back) “This? I was never allowed to touch a boy like this.”
(leans down, captures Harry’s bottom lip between his, pulls back) “But I wanted to, god, I wanted
to.” (wraps his arms around Harry’s neck to pull him full to his body) “And with you, I couldn’t
help but cheat and let myself pretend.” (they share another kiss, Louis moans into it, a low, sighing
sound) “Pretend it was friendly.”
HARRY: “I’m as scared as you. I'm as scared as you, Lou.” (cheeks pressed together) “I’m
terrified too, baby. We're in this together. We’ve been since the beginning.” (kisses Louis’
cheekbones then down his jaw) “Exact same page.”
LOUIS: (pulls back slightly so Harry’s lips detach and they can make eye contact again) “Can I
take off my shirt?”
HARRY: “Can I help you?” (Louis’ shoulder rise with his breath before he nods, Harry smiles at
him) “I’m warning you though…” (embarrassed chuckle as he peels Louis’ t-shirt off his body,
Louis’ hands in the air, his hair tussled once it pops out of the collar) “I’m not gonna last long like
this.”
LOUIS: (raises an eyebrow) “Like this?”
HARRY: (blushes, avoids Louis’ eyes by looking at his chest tattoo) “I’m so attracted to you and
this, yeah…” (running his hands up Louis’ sides, one hand sliding towards the middle to trace the
line in between Louis’ abs) “It’s so hot to me.” (finger reaches the waistline of Louis’ boxers,
Louis’ breath hitches, Harry reacts at the sound) “So fucking hot, babe.”
LOUIS: (flushes, flexes like a show off) “You’re gonna cum in your pants, Styles?” (rocks on
Harry’s lap, smug) “A bit embarrassing, no?”
HARRY: “No.” (nuzzles Louis’ collarbone, kissing it, licking up his neck, hissing when Louis’
rolls his hips again) “Why would it be?” (kisses underneath Louis’ ear) “You’re what I’ve been
waiting for and yeah.” (chuckles, making Louis squeak from being ticklish) “Yeah, maybe me
finishing before even starting isn’t the best opening act but…” (kisses his cheek, pulls back, smiles
warmly) “But so what? We’ll have all our lives to get marathons in. I have years to impress you.”
LOUIS: (opens his mouth, touched) “I—“
HARRY: “I know, it’s cheesy, I know. I keep…” (shakes his head with a dumb grin) “Keep being
like that, it’s just…I’m happy, Lou. You make me really happy.”
LOUIS: “Actually, I was going to say that…” (face heats up, he plays with Harry’s shirt) “I’d like
that.” (pulls himself together) “I like the longevity in that statement, I guess.”
HARRY: “I’m clingy, remember?”
LOUIS: (leans in again, both smiling) “Very. And needy.”
HARRY: (kisses him) “Super so.”
LOUIS: “Hard to rid off.”
HARRY: “Mhmm.”
LOUIS: “Why are you scared?”
HARRY: “Because I want this so much. I don't want to ruin it for you.” (drawing circles in Louis’
chest before poking his nose) “I want this to be the best experience for you.”
LOUIS: (sarcastic) “I don’t know, curly. Competition’s tough. I mean Eleanor’s teeth really sunk
themselves in there. Oof—“
HARRY: (yanks Louis forward by his pants) “Don’t!”
LOUIS: (eyebrows high) “What? It was bad.”
HARRY: (half-whimpered) “Don’t. I get jealous.” (hugs him, hides his pouty face on Louis’ neck)
“You’re mine. I can’t listen to that anymore. I can’t not care anymore.” (pouty) “You’re my
boyfriend.”
LOUIS: (amused) “I am.” (pulls Harry’s face out of the crook of his neck to look at his expression,
becomes more solemn) “But I understand. Same thing happened with Ed.” (difficulty saying it)
“Before I was…Now, no.” (shaking his head) “Now, it’d…hurt a lot for me if you did.”
HARRY: “I’d never.”
LOUIS: “It would…” (not finding words) “I’d…”
HARRY: (kisses him) “I would never.” (kisses him again, two quick pecks, stays close, both have
their eyes open) “Never lose you like that.”
LOUIS: “I trust you.”
HARRY: (nods, cracks a smile again) “Man, we both suck at foreplay, huh?”
LOUIS: “Yeah! Let’s bring up ex-s and sad shit—that’ll work. I bet that has your boner
wavering.” (speaking for the boner, as the boner) “Should I come, Haz? Are you all ready up
there? No? Tears, you’re in tears? Ok, I won’t disturb you then even though this piece of ass is
looking real yummy right now, you sure, no tears, yikes, bye.”
HARRY: (laughing out loud, head thrown back) “Enough.” (smitten) “She still adores you.” (they
both look down) “Besides, you’re sitting on her real good so I don’t think she’s sleeping anytime
soon.”
LOUIS: “Real well?” (jerks forward, Harry gasps, Louis starts rolling him hips slowly, eyes never
leaving Harry’s) “This feels good for you?”
HARRY: (breathy, shuddering with each time Louis presses down) “You have no idea. Uh—fuck,
babe…”
LOUIS: (biting his lip) “I thought of you like this.”
HARRY: (breathless) “Hmm?”
LOUIS: “I often—“ (Harry curses, jerks up, squeezes his big hand around Louis’ thighs) “Yeah—
I, uh. I touched myself at times…to this…” (looks at Harry who is hungrily looking at Louis’
pants, trying to figure out a way for them to rhythmically rock against each other) “I wanna
now…”
HARRY: (eyes fly up to Louis’, widen) “Ye—yeah?”
LOUIS: (shuts his eyes tight, nods) “I’m sorry.”
HARRY: “For what, baby? For what?”
LOUIS: “For not letting myself for so long. For allowing us to have bad times. For letting you get
hurt.” (blindly reaches for Harry, hugs him) “This was supposed to be like this from the start. I’m
a coward.”
HARRY: (hugs him back) “We're so close now because we went through that, Louis.” (kisses his
temple) “I don't regret a single fucked up moment, not one. I don't regret a single fight. We would
have had them anyway. We needed to sort things out, become better people—that’s what people do
when they’re single, they get their shit together so when they start things like this—amazing things
like this—they can be ready.” (lays on his back, pulling Louis with him so he’s laying on his chest,
runs his fingers down Louis’ naked back) “We struggled to get here, yeah, but I don't care. Nothing
matters. Nothing but here.”
LOUIS: (resting his cheek on Harry’s collarbone, hand grasping Harry’s bicep) “I’m at the edge.
It feels like that… like if I let go I'll want this so much and so soon and so immediately, I won’t
know where to begin.”
HARRY: “Here.” (brings Louis’ face up, kisses him softly, a few minutes of kisses and gentle
tongues and fingers caressing blushing cheeks, and teeth sinking on swelling happy lips) “Here,
love, slowly.”
LOUIS: “My hands…”
HARRY: (grabs Louis’ shaking hands and places them on his own face) “Here.” (his own lock
around Louis’ waist, as they kiss again) “I’ll guide you. Say line and I’ll tell you. Step by step.”
LOUIS: (caresses Harry's cheeks) “You're so beautiful. Fuck!” (sniffles, laughs at himself, blinks
rapidly) “You’re making me emotional. God.” (gazes at Harry adoringly, eyes crinkled and soft,
wet in disbelief) “You’re so, so out of my league.”
HARRY: “I’m all yours.”
LOUIS: (nods, almost tearfully) “I know. I know.” (leans forward to kiss him once, not pulling
back completely so their bottom lips touch as he speaks) “I think…” (places another kiss on
Harry’s expecting lips, eyes shut) “I don’t think, I know. I know…” (one teardrop falls down
Louis’ cheek and lands on Harry’s face) “I’m…gone for you. Worst. I hide it but trust me…”
(chuckles wetly) “It’s worst, it’s way worst how whipped I am. You’re my world, Harry.”
HARRY: (opens his mouth) “I lo—“
LOUIS: (kisses him to shut him up) “No.” (kisses him again, opens his eyes) “My turn, don’t
steal.” (Harry’s eyes go wide in realization, Louis smiles) “I’m in love with you, you goddamned
shy, stupid, clumsy, filthy, embarrassing idiot. When did you become my fucking everything?”
Deep Down
Chapter 105: Deep Down
LOUIS: (walking into the office, sitting on the couch, clapping his hands) “Hello Julian. How is
my favorite of bros today?”
JULIAN: “My, my what a change. You sound happy.”
LOUIS: (constantly smiling) “I’ve had an awesome week.”
JULIAN: “How so?” (wiggles his eyebrows) “Anything happen in the boyfriend department?”
LOUIS: “Yes. No. Kind of. Not really. Not much but yes, a bit.”
JULIAN: “Progress then?”
LOUIS: “I’m good with the kissing now.” (nodding to himself) “Kissing I’ve become an expert at
so that’s good.”
JULIAN: “Kissing’s out of the way then. What’s step two?”
LOUIS: “I’ve also done the bed thing.”
JULIAN: “The bed thing?”
LOUIS: “Not like sex, but be on the bed. We’ve been on the bed together.”
JULIAN: (amused) “Don’t you sleep with him every night?”
LOUIS: “Yes, but yesterday night, we slept properly. He hugged him properly all night.”
JULIAN: “Did he use to hug you before?”
LOUIS: “Here and there. In a platonic way…which I realize probably wasn’t that platonic
anyway.”
JULIAN: “How do you figure that?”
LOUIS: “Well, we both enjoyed it. We both felt better so I let it slide—like this…” (puts his hands
over his eyes) “I was like that.”
JULIAN: “Eye closed?”
LOUIS: “Blind. I didn’t exist.”
JULIAN: “How does one not exist? Teach me. I wanna be doing that every time I write my
research papers.”
LOUIS: “You just make a decision that when you’re somewhere, for me it was the shower for a
long time—when I was in the shower with the lights off and the water hot, there was nothing else.
Nothing to worry about because no world: just me, alone completely.”
JULIAN: “Is it scary to be alone?”
LOUIS: (shakes his head but slows down to think of it) “Sometimes.” (thoughtful) “Different kinds
of alone.”
JULIAN: “What are the kinds?”
LOUIS: (snorts) “The I-have-no-friends kind.”
JULIAN: “That’s a bad kind?” (Louis nods) “What’s another?”
LOUIS: “The you-could-die-tomorrow-no-one-would-care kind.”
JULIAN: “Have you ever felt that kind?”
LOUIS: (hesitates) “Yeah…” (tries to chuckle) “But why you gotta be ruining my mood like
this?”
JULIAN: “Sorry, sorry. What’s the good kind of alone?”
LOUIS: “Peaceful. Safe. No expectations. No one’s looking at you or judging you or talking about
you. You don’t have to put up a mask. Or try. You just know you’re safe because you’re alone.”
JULIAN: “Can you feel all those things without being alone?”
LOUIS: “Yeah. When I’m in the dark.” (raises his fingers in quotation marks) “It’s like a place:
the in the dark.”
JULIAN: “Like the shower?”
LOUIS: “An extension. Because you can be in the dark without having to be alone.”
JULIAN: (covers his eyes) “Like this?”
LOUIS: (nods, blushes) “Yeah, it’s dumb. I don’t know why I’d ever admit it out loud—it’s the
dumbest. It’s childish, I know.”
JULIAN: “It is. But it’s also effective. Sometimes all people need to pull themselves together is a
moment to breathe.”
LOUIS: (gulps) “Should I be talking about this?”
JULIAN: “What do you mean?”
LOUIS: “I’ve been good. I’m happy now. Should I be talking about my low points? Won’t that
trigger me into falling back there? Why focus on the bad if it’s no longer bad?”
JULIAN: “I understand. It’s a bit of a kill joy.” (Louis smiles faintly, nods) “We talk about it
when you’re happy because a happy person is the one with enough effort to battle these issues.
Some things are in us, whether we’re happy or sad. They’re in this dark place in our minds full of
memories and hopes and fears we’ve pushed aside to survive. And every day we focus on the now
because if we were dwelling on the bad, we would be too stuck to do anything.”
LOUIS: “Seems to me like instead of opening that door, you should invest in a better one. Two
doors, back to back.”
JULIAN: “Then you’ll always be scared of what’s behind. At some point, if we want to be okay
with ourselves, we have to come face to face with all of it. We have to open the door and say hi to
those demons and hear them sob and hear them whine and eventually accept it is something that
has happened.”
LOUIS: “If that were the case then boy, do I have a lot of people to face. I’d be stuck down there
for fucking centuries shaking hands with every insecurity one by one, and every mistake I made
since I was a kid.”
JULIAN: “That’s why we have therapy.”
LOUIS: “I’m not a character. I don’t have one knot. All my problems don’t just stem from one
spot that I can fix and then bam, I am a new me—end of the book. If you go down there in the dark
part, you’ll find knots upon knots, tangled in a web of bullshit. You won’t know which one to
touch first.”
JULIAN: “Pick one and follow the thread.”
LOUIS: (laughs) “The metaphor is overextending itself.”
JULIAN: “Is it?” (smiles) “You’re an intelligent man. Pick one.”
LOUIS: “One knot?”
JULIAN: “Yeah, one thing you think would be your knot if you were a character. One kernel of
badness from which come many symptoms.”
LOUIS: “Um, like if I had to write a character like myself?”
JULIAN: “Sure.”
LOUIS: “I’d probably make him obnoxious, loud.” (laughs at himself, a tinge of poignancy) “And
the knot would be that he only had friends because he was a class clown. He’d be very annoying to
befriend, like…” (motions clinging with his hands) “Overwhelming, he’d try your patience for
sure.”
JULIAN: “Do you think you try your friends’ patience?”
LOUIS: “A bit, yeah… I have this technique, you see? I have many friends. Huge groups, groups
upon groups. A squad, colleagues, littles, inner gang, lads, many friends so I can divide my week
up to depend on each person separately so I am never alone but I’m never leaning on anyone for
too long.”
JULIAN: “That seems to require a lot of coordination.”
LOUIS: (chuckles) “It does.”
JULIAN: “Does it ever get exhausting?”
LOUIS: (one-sided shrug) “Yeah, sometimes. Sometimes it gets…um, all consuming. Like all I
think about is being with people.”
JULIAN: “Do you like being alone?”
LOUIS: “We talked about—“
JULIAN: “I meant, do you ever during this color-coded week, just stay on your own, with
yourself. Just you and yourself.”
LOUIS: (opens his mouth, stuck) “No…I guess not. I’m very dependent, have been since I was
young so I’ve uh…I’ve figured out ways. I’ve become really skilled at automatically booking my
time so I’m never alone. I don’t even notice doing it. Sometimes I’m tired as hell and about to go to
bed when someone hits me up and I’ll get out of bed, get dressed, go for drinks even though I’m
shit-tired because the opportunity is there.”
JULIAN: “Was this you before you met Harry?”
LOUIS: “Oh, yeah, a lot of that was pre-Harry. I thought that was clear. After Harry came in the
picture, things changed a lot.”
JULIAN: “How?”
LOUIS: “He’s…good with me.”
LOUIS: “He doesn’t get sick of me. And he lets me sleep or be silent or be moody or be…like a
terribly boring human being some days and it helps me.”
JULIAN: “Aren’t we all super boring some days? Should we expected to be on all the time?”
LOUIS: “I thought I had to be, yes.”
JULIAN: “Why?”
LOUIS: “Otherwise, my friends would hate me.”
JULIAN: “Hate you?”
LOUIS: “Maybe not hate me but drop me. I get…heavy. Not many people handle heaviness well.
And I like talking about stuff, about dark stuff and feelings sometimes and—and I know I could
never do that with the lads or anyone but Harry and Niall really. They’d look at me like I’d lost my
mind.”
JULIAN: “What do you do with the lads?”
LOUIS: “Don’t know. Talk about things, like things that are coming up or joke. Or drink. I’ll hear
them out, stuff like that.”
JULIAN: “What do you talk about with Niall?”
LOUIS: “Kind of similar things but I call him when I’m sad so he’s not as shocked of my sadness.
Before Harry, Niall used to get a lot of my calls because I was really bad at being…functioning, I
suppose.”
JULIAN: “Functioning?”
LOUIS: “I knew you’d ask about that. I don’t know how to explain it… like some things I know
and do know I’d never do then.”
JULIAN: “Like what?”
LOUIS: (purses his lips) “Admit I was wrong.” (gulps) “Or angry, um, like before exploding, I’d
keep my anger in and when I did get too angry I’d just…go off on people, badly, like scream at
them. They’d be very weirded out. I’d always feel like shit straight after like I was being all crazy
again.”
JULIAN: “What did you explode about most?”
LOUIS: “Not what, like who. I had certain people that really triggered me. They were extremely
nice people but I hated them because I hated myself, who I was compared to them.”
JULIAN: “Who would be one?”
LOUIS: “Eleanor, this girl I hooked up with occasionally. Her mostly. I was an ass to her, like an
absolute ass. Sometimes she’d come in to work and say hi and I was already wanting to go after her
—it was sick.”
JULIAN: “Why her, do you think?”
LOUIS: “She uh… She’s…” (sniffles) “Sorry, um, I hate talking about this. I feel bad. Like I…”
(takes a deep breath, collects himself) “She was nice to me and I like trusted her…a lot, very early.
I trusted her because she wouldn’t hurt me and I told her stuff accidentally or not, I don’t…”
JULIAN: “You told her stuff when you needed someone to open up with.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, that. I slipped up and I like…” (struggled) “Made myself vulnerable. And when I
remembered, I felt threatened by her because she knew things that I’d told her—she hadn’t even
asked to be put in that position—but she knew things so I was constantly on the offensive like…”
(talking so fast he’s out of breath) “Like at any point I was expecting her to betray me and I’d be
ready to protect myself or maybe that I had to destroy her and shut her up as soon as there was a
chance because I couldn’t—I had to protect myself.”
JULIAN: “What did she know? What’s one of the things you were scared she would reveal?”
LOUIS: “That I wasn’t like the others, like other boys. She’s very pretty so she’d been with other
boys and… I knew I was different in stuff I did. But I wanted the boys—my friends, everyone
really, to think I was the same so I was scared she’d tell.”
JULIAN: “How were you different?”
LOUIS: (long silence, Louis furrowing his eyebrows thinking) “I’m…scared, I guess. Of things.
Of intimate things. I hooked up all the time but I dreaded it, it was painful.”
JULIAN: “Why did you do it then?”
LOUIS: “To be a normal boy.” (smiles sadly) “I needed to because everyone else was and I needed
to seem like them. Plus…” (sighs) “A lot of my stories and humor and who I was to this people
relied on me making fun of my hook ups, the idiot ladies and the idiot stories and I was that kid,
that boy—the frat boy—and they liked it. They…you know how sometimes you know which sides
of yourself your friends prefer? Like if your one friends like the jock side of you or the mean side
or the silly side so you play it up when you’re with them? Well, with all—most of them, I was the
sassy womanizer since college. They enjoyed it. It made them laugh.”
JULIAN: “Did you enjoy being that?”
LOUIS: “I wasn’t that. It was a front. Inside, I was…well, a fucking mess to be quite honest, but I
also had different parts of me, parts I couldn’t say to them because they wouldn’t make sense with
the narrative. They’d be like out of character. If you’re the womanizer character, you don’t get to
say stuff like I cry over romantic comedies.”
JULIAN: (smiles) “Does anyone know that about you?”
LOUIS: (looks down in shame) “Harry. He knows a lot. It’s hard to keep things from him. He
knows a lot of sides.”
JULIAN: “Why do you think that is?”
LOUIS: “He sees through my fronts. He…back to the character metaphor, he sees like my…”
(points at his chest) “Here. Like my core, the small me inside. He sees that. Everyone else sees the
mask or my face and he sees the source of all the masks and how they relate together—this makes
no sense I’m sorry.”
JULIAN: “It makes a lot of sense. Continue. When did you realize that? That he had this x-ray sort
of vision?”
LOUIS: “I don’t know. At first, I was scared…to hang out with him. He’d probably laugh to hear
that because he was terrified of me himself but I was too because I’d say stuff—the same stuff I
said to Niall and Josh and Liam, the rest of the gang…”
JULIAN: “The stupid jokes and the hook up stories?”
LOUIS: “Yeah, something like that. The extreme sass and the meanness, joking meanness. Me
pretending I don’t give a damn basically. I’d be like that and he’d…get offended because that’s
him…” (smiles as he speaks) “He’s a sweetheart and I knew that about him, maybe I did the jokes
on purpose, to push him, to get his attention, get a rise out of him—like poke at him. But as I was
doing that, in my mind I was praying that he noticed.”
JULIAN: “Noticed what?”
LOUIS: “That this wasn’t me. That this was the game, the character, the mask—that I was more.
It was a game I was playing. And I wanted him to see that.”
JULIAN: “Did he?”
LOUIS: (nods) “Yeah. He…He didn’t do anything I don’t think, he never told me. But he’d let me
strip of that. I could do things like say nice stuff and he wouldn’t blink like he was expecting it
from me. The more the inner me leaked out, the more he seemed to like me. It was very nice to
feel.”
JULIAN: “What’s the inner you?”
LOUIS: (squirming, somewhat embarrassed, palming his face) “Soft. Like so soft. I care so much
and get so, like I don’t know, probably the side of me that feels like crying when he talks about me
in a nice way. That’s the inner side—like I can’t believe I’m good in his eyes and I get so awed
about it.”
JULIAN: “The you who cries at romantic comedies.”
LOUIS: “Yeah.”
JULIAN: “Is Harry the only one who sees that side?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “Not anymore. You are. Now. And some other people.” (makes a circle with his
fingers) “The circle has widened. More people are included.”
JULIAN: “If the inner you, the secret you is a ball from which everything comes from, all the
other threads come from, the other nots… what’s at the very centre of that circle? After you peel
apart the layers of real you, what’s in the core, what’s the realest part?”
LOUIS: (debating with himself silently, chuckles) “Thank my mother for this but, probably, uh…
probably like…this need to be loved. I want to feel like I’m worth being loved.”
JULIAN: “That’s the most fragile part?”
LOUIS: (nod) “I want to be lovable. I want to love and be loved.”

Doorway
Chapter 106: Doorway
Scene 1
LOUIS: (enters the locker room, sees El, half-undressed in stockings and a shirt) “El!” (runs up to
her, tackles her in a hug) “I have missed you.”
ELEANOR: (not hugging him back, confused) “What’s happening? Are you dating another
person? What happened to Harry?”
LOUIS: (still hugging her) “Nothing, nothing. Just my love for you coming out from the depths of
my bosom.”
ELEANOR: “You don’t have a bosom.”
LOUIS: “Shh.” (petting her hair flat) “Accept it.”
ELEANOR: “Uh okay…But you should let me go now before Harry comes and goes dark Harry
on us.”
LOUIS: (pulls back) “What?”
ELEANOR: “Dark Harry.”
LOUIS: “Did Liam come up with that?”
ELEANOR: “Surprisingly, no. It was Zayn this time.” (pulling on her skirt) “Dark Harry scares us
all. He’s very intimidating.”
LOUIS: “Well in that case…” (hugs her again, Eleanor groans) “He’s gonna be here soon, he’s
parking, so survive a few more seconds.”
ELEANOR: “He’ll kill me.”
LOUIS: (dramatic sighing) “But he’ll be hot doing it. And I’ll dote.”
LOUIS: “He’s very hot when he threatens to kill people for me. It gets me. In the soul. It gets my
soul.”
ELEANOR: “What, you want him jealous now?”
LOUIS: (stretching the word) “Maaaybe?”
ELEANOR: “Ah. Welcome to the life of being in a relationship. I’m glad you’ve joined us weak-
willed mortals who seek attention all the time and poke at our spouses to get it.”
LOUIS: “First of all, my relationship is awesome. Second of all, wait—shh, he’s coming.”
(whispers) “Pretend to be in love with me.”
ELEANOR: (looking unimpressed, hands still holding her skirt while Louis has squished their
chests awkwardly together) “Oh I don’t have to pretend.” (sarcastic) “All this adorable idiocy has
me in love.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, that’s good. Give monologues about me. Long ones. Mention my dashing looks
and dashing dic—”
HARRY: (walks in, coffee on one hand, bag on another) “Throw out the Starbucks when you get
out of the car, babe. It gets hot and smelly otherwise.” (sees them hugging, shakes his head) “Hey,
El.”
ELEANOR: “Hello Harry.”
LOUIS: (yanks his body away, sputtering) “Hey El? Hey El? Um, El is hugging your boyfriend,
the cutest, most sought out, tiny, small, adorable, sexy beast, menace, hot thing in the entire Disney
kingdom. Was being touched by…this…monster.” (El gives him a middle finger) “There should be
more anger here.” (points at Eleanor who has finally put on her skirt) “Punch her. Like this…”
(throws a few mock punches in the air, Eleanor rolls her eyes, Harry can’t help but grin, Louis
jumps on a bench, announces) “Battle for me until the end. Begin now.”
HARRY: (picks him up from the bench) “Yeah, alright. Only two shots in the frappe for you next
time. Four was pushing it. (tries to put him down, Louis clings, refuses to put his feet down) “Come
now, we’re already late.”
LOUIS: (slumps on him) “But you wanted me to be a baby.” (Eleanor raises an eyebrow, Harry
mouths ‘no, no’) “So I’m a baby…” (mock wails) “Baby doesn’t want to work. More coffee. More
coffee.” (aggressively celebrating) “Coffee!”
HARRY: “You know if you ever regret this decision, I’m still around. Significantly less basic
bitch than your menace over here.”
LOUIS: (slinking down Harry like a tree to go harass Eleanor) “As if. You have a mungina.”
HARRY: (getting dressed) “Simon’s gonna tear someone a new mungina, I think… It’s not gonna
be me though, because I’m dressed and ready.”
LOUIS: “Simon loves me. Eleanor loves me.” (throws an arm around her shoulders, she humphs
at the weight) “We’re bros now, Eleanor. You’re a lad. We’ll do laddy things.”
ELEANOR: “Like paint your nails peach?”
LOUIS: (covers her mouth) “Don’t tell my secrets.”
ELEANOR: (amused) “What has gotten into you?” (to Harry) “Harry?”
HARRY: (shrugs) “He’s been cute all morning. Thought you knew what’s up.”
ELEANOR: “So not bumming?”
LOUIS: “What’s bumming?” (Harry gives him a smirk) “Oh no, Eleanor.”
ELEANOR: “What, you wanted me to fangirl? I only fangirl about bumming.”
HARRY: “Same.”
ELEANOR: “Why are you so happy then?”
LOUIS: “No one knows. It is a secret. I have a secret happy potion.”
ELEANOR: “Share, please.”
LOUIS: “Only if you forgive me.”
ELEANOR: “Ok.”
LOUIS: “Wait, you have to ask for what. You have to know what you’re forgiving me for.”
ELEANOR: (confused) “Ok, for what?”
HARRY: (about to head out) “Lou, I’ll see you soon?” (Louis nods, makes a kissy face at him and
signs ‘I love you’, Harry signs back, ‘And I you’) “Don’t be too late. Jack might hold me hostage
until you come.”
ELEANOR: (after Harry has left) “What was that about?”
LOUIS: “What?”
ELEANOR: “You communicate non-verbally now? When will you stop being so cute? When will
I be able to live my life without obsessing over how good yours is? When?”
LOUIS: “Soon, forgive me first.”
ELEANOR: “For what?”
LOUIS: “For being a dick.”
ELEANOR: “When?”
LOUIS: “All the time.”
ELEANOR: “Oh.”
LOUIS: “Yes, I am sorry.”
ELEANOR: “For what? What did you do? Did you egg my door again?”
LOUIS: “No. No. I did nothing. Recently. I’m talking about as a totality. I’m an ass. And I’m
sorry.”
ELEANOR: “Don’t be silly. That’s you. I’d have to forgive you for being you. Part of being
friends with you is knowing that.”
LOUIS: “No.” (sighs, gets serious, holding Eleanor’s shoulders, staring at her) “No, being friends
with me shouldn’t be this painful, toxic process. And I was a dick. I was bad. To you especially.
And I’ve decided to be better so I’m gonna need you to shut me up when I deserve it. Like I know
you can do. Eleanor style. Sass me out. Call me out. I need to know when I cross the line so I learn
not to do it.”
ELEANOR: (touched) “Louis, what is going on?”

LOUIS: “What, did that not make sense?”
ELEANOR: “No, no… It did. It made a lot of sense. It’s just… what’s going on? Is this Harry?
What is the happy potion?” (whispering) “Is it drugs? Did you egg my door?”
LOUIS: “No. And no.” (shrugs) “I realized that I used to spend a lot of time making myself
miserable. So I’m going to try my best to stop doing that. One of the things that made me miserable
was being angry at people for no reason.”
ELEANOR: “You’ve changed.”
LOUIS: “I like to think of it as I’ve always been this way but you got to see less of it.”
ELEANOR: “Well, whatever it is, it’s different. And I like it. I like you better like this.”
LOUIS: “And you’ll forgive me?”
ELEANOR: “Meh…Must I?”
LOUIS: (pouts) “El.”
ELEANOR: “Fine, yes, of course. Can anyone resist your pretty blue eyes?”
LOUIS: “That is what you should have said when Harry was here. It’s like you don’t know how to
make people want me more.”
ELEANOR: “Harry wants you more than enough. In fact, I’m quite certain there is no more.
You’ve reached the limit.”
LOUIS: “We can never know until we try. Why settle? Reach for the stars.”
ELEANOR: “…Ok. Either I need more coffee or you need less coffee but we’re not equal in our
caffeine load now.” (starts heading for the exit) “Get dressed. Jack gets poopy and he’s not easy to
change when he hasn’t seen you.”
LOUIS: “I’m meeting Simon first so I won’t be out until like lunch. Tell him Hercules threw me in
the river of death.”
ELEANOR: “Then he’ll really be fussy.”
LOUIS: (touching his chest) “My child. He is truly me.”
ELEANOR: (about to leave when she remembers) “Clubbing. This weekend. You promised.”
LOUIS: “I’m an adult now, Eleanor. I don’t club.”
ELEANOR: “You’ll club this time. The gays are waiting.” (points at him) “You promised. I’ll text
you details. Be there. With your perf boyfriend who should be mine but is yours.”
LOUIS: (makes a half-whine noise) “But I don’t know how to gay club.” (Eleanor is already
gone) “El? Witch! Wench! Ugh.”
Scene 2
LOUIS: (as soon as he enters the room) “I’m happy, it’s rare, I know. Apparently I hadn’t realized
how rare. Anyway, what else?”
SIMON: (amused) “What are you talking about?”
LOUIS: (sits down) “Everyone that talks to me points out how happy I am recently and I thought
I’d do that for you so we can swiftly move along. A toddler is waiting for me to show up before he
shits so I need to be quick.”
SIMON: “Again, what are you talking about?”
LOUIS: (loud) “Hi! Hello! How are you? What’s new? What do you need me for?” (normal
voice) “Is that better?”
SIMON: “No. More freaky. Why are you doing that thing with your face?”
LOUIS: “What thing?”
SIMON: “The smile. You don’t usually do smiles. They hurt your sharp cheekbones.”
LOUIS: (rolls eyes) “I’m doing smile because I am happy. But it’s too long of a story to explain
why I’m happy because I need to be out there doing my job.”
SIMON: “Oh no, no, no.” (picks up the phone, pretends to talk) “Sarah, cancel all my
appointments and lock the door. Louis Tomlinson, the grinch of Disney, wants to go out there and
have fun with kids. Louis Tomlinson, the Maleficent of Disney, wants to do his job. Louis
Tomlinson, the Grumpy dwarf of Disney, wants to do anything but whine about his job—“
LOUIS: “We get it, we get it.” (grinning nonetheless) “I am a bane but no longer, Simonski. I am
a new me now.”
SIMON: (lowers the phone) “I see that. Then what should I be asking the new you? I don’t quite
know. I’ve only prepped questions for the old you.”
LOUIS: “Try those.”
SIMON: “Ok.” (looks down at his fake notes, coughs) “Are you able to defecate fine with that
stick up your ass—see not really happy questions.” (Louis is gaping in shock, slowly softens into a
broken chuckle, then laugh) “How was this month?”
LOUIS: (blinks) “You are filthy. Everything I touch becomes filthy. Everything I touch curses and
talks about shit.”
SIMON: “Hey, language!”
LOUIS: “You said—“
SIMON: “Defecate. Clean word.”
LOUIS: “Is it though?” (Simon shakes his head, smiling) “Do all your check-ups go like this?”
SIMON: “Guess.”
LOUIS: “No? Only I? Is that why you love me? Is that why you don’t fire me even though I say
fuck around children.”
SIMON: (covering his ears) “Louis! Don’t tell me stuff like that. It’s not what I want to hear.Do
you want to be fired?”
LOUIS: “I was joking—come on, you think I’d do that. Ha. Ha. No, never.”
SIMON: (sarcastic) “Color me convinced.”
LOUIS: “But I want you to know…” (gets serious) “I wanna be the one to break the news.”
SIMON: “Oh god, are you giving in your resignation letter? Is that why you’re so happy? Oh no,
Louis.”
LOUIS: “Oh no, Louis, is a thing now. It’s a thing people say.”
SIMON: “I wonder why…” (Louis shrugs, cheeky smile) “Are you…moving?”
LOUIS: “Moving? What? Where? I can’t afford to live in my own place, you know that. I’m a
poor person. I feed on Chipotle nine times a week because of my poorness. Give me more money.”
SIMON: (rolls his eyes) “No. Then what?”
LOUIS: “I have broken the employee code.”
SIMON: (gives him a look) “Did you smoke inside the park?”
LOUIS: “No.” (another semi-nervous snort) “No, I never, who do you think I am, Simon?”
SIMON: “Did you fight with a parent?”
LOUIS: “But does that sound like me, though?” (Simon raises an eyebrow) “No, I am the nicest.
I’m butterflies and candy floss. I melt in their mouths.”
SIMON: “Did you…melt in their mouths?”
LOUIS: “What?” (realizes) “Oh! Ew!” (suddenly) “But it has to do with that.”
SIMON: “With what? Sleeping with parents—oh no, Louis.”
LOUIS: “No, no. Sleeping with… people, let’s say. Sort of.”
SIMON: (puts his hands in his face, pleading voice) “Don’t say children. Don’t say children.
We’re doomed if you say children.”
LOUIS: “Simon—Fucking hell!”
SIMON: “Language.”
LOUIS: “That’s—that’s…wrong.”
SIMON: “Yes, very wrong.”
LOUIS: “We’ve gotten very sidetracked.”

SIMON: “I sure hope so.”
LOUIS: “We have. I just wanted to say that Harry and I are a thing now. That’s all. We’re a proper
thing. But we’ll keep it civil in the park. It’ll never show. We’re professionals. Or you can separate
us. Assign me something else, let him stay. He’s good at it. If you want that. But I don’t want this
to be a thing—like an issue. I don’t want to lie.” (slight pause) “And I’m not gonna be breaking up
with him for the job so…so I hope we can figure something out.”
SIMON: “A thing, meaning a relationship.”
LOUIS: “Yes. Officially.”
SIMON: “Hmm.” (thinking, Louis squirms nervously in his seat) “So will you be reconsidering
my offer?”
LOUIS: (gulps) “Which one?”
SIMON: “To move in together. It would save us a lot of money. And since you two have woken
up finally, I thought you’d be more likely to see that you are practically living together as it is. In a
tiny room. Made for one person. I honestly don’t know how you don’t kill each other.”
LOUIS: “Oh, but so the other…The jobs, the position, that’s fine?”
SIMON: “Why would it not be? I didn’t intervene with you and Eleanor?”
LOUIS: “You knew about that?”
SIMON: “Child, I know everything. And I don’t care as long as you come here, put on a costume
and become that character for the kids.” (Louis smiles in relief) “As far as I know, Hades doesn’t
have a thing for Hercules—though come to think about that can be heavily debated.” (Louis
laughs) “The jury’s still out on that one.”
LOUIS: “I ship it.”
SIMON: “Ship it where?”
LOUIS: “It’s a Liam thing.”
SIMON: “Like Larry Stylinson.”
LOUIS: “Oh! You do know everything, you snake.”
SIMON: “I ship it.”
LOUIS: “Simon, what the hell?”
SIMON: “I’ll note down that you’re good?”
LOUIS: “What, you’re kicking me out now because I know your secrets, how you go all big
brother on us and know everything?”
SIMON: (rolls his eyes) “Precisely. I have to wait for you to leave so I send a mass text to all the
upper management about how I won the bet about you liking Harry.”
LOUIS: LOUIS: “Loving.”
SIMON: “Mhmm.” (loudly sarcastic) “Isn’t this completely unexpected and never once
predicted?”
LOUIS: (shoulders slump) “Is everyone at Disney following my life?”
SIMON: “Yes.”
LOUIS: “Did everyone predict Harry and I—“
SIMON: “Yes.”
LOUIS: “Was no one surprised—“
SIMON: “Yes.”
LOUIS: (hopeful) “Yes, they were?”
SIMON: “Yes, no one was. Flee now. Shoo. Go deal with poop.” (Louis stands up, grumbling all
the way about creeps and stalkers) “Tell me about the room thing as soon as you discuss it with
him.”
LOUIS: “I will but um, don’t bring it up with Haz. Let me tell him—ask him.” (hesitates) “Okay?”
Downpour
Chapter 107: Downpour
Scene 1: Sunny
LOUIS: (walking into the daycare where Harry’s playing with the kids) “Did anyone miss me?”
HARRY: “Look, Jack-Jack.” (points at Louis) “Look who’s here.”
JACK: (turns around, sees Louis, squeals) “Hades!” (runs unto him, Louis picks him up in his
arms) “Starburst time!”
LOUIS: (hugs him, kisses his cheeks while Jack squirms away) “I escaped for you.”
JACK: “Did Hercules kill you?”
HARRY: “No, I didn’t because no one kills anyone here.”
LOUIS: (winking at Jack) “He did a little bit.”
JACK: (delighted) “I knew it!” (squishes Louis’ cheeks) “Your face is strange.”
LOUIS: “You too? You noticed it too?” (Harry giggles) “How is it strange?”
JACK: (still squishing Louis’ cheeks, lowers his face to squint closer at Louis’) “It’s like sunny.”
(Louis kisses his nose, Jack yelps, wipes it away in disgust) “You give kisses now—like Hercules.”
LOUIS: “I thought you liked kisses.”
JACK: “I don’t like them from you, Yellow Sun Hades. Only from Hercules.”
LOUIS: “Oh! Don’t hurt me like this, Jackie. My heart is broken now.”
JACK: (crossing his tiny arms) “Bad guys don’t give kisses. They kill people.”
HARRY: “They don’t.”
JACK: “Yes, they do. Louis said so.”
LOUIS: “Louis?!”
JACK: (to Louis) “Isn’t that your name?”
LOUIS: “No, it’s not.” (sheepish) “Where did you hear that?”
JACK: (bad whispering) “It is. It is ‘Louis’ and ‘baby’. Hercules told me. It’s a secret.”
HARRY: (flustered) “I didn’t. I didn’t say any of that.”
JACK: “I guessed by being smart.”

LOUIS: (bursts into laughter) “Did you now? This boy is too smart for this land.”
JACK: (proud) “I must be killed.” (hands in the air) “Throw me in the pond of dead.” (Harry and
Louis are still laughing, Jack points to the fake lake in the park) “Throw me.”
HARRY: “Don’t throw him.”
LOUIS: “I might have to.”
HARRY: “No, no.”
JACK: “Yes, yes. Throw me!”
LOUIS: (pulls him close, whispered) “Only if you say you love me more than Hercules.”
JACK: (also whispered) “Only if you kill me.”
HARRY: “No!”
LOUIS: “Deal.”
Scene 2: Cloudy
LOUIS: (end of the day, at the parking lot, both walking to Harry’s car) “I can’t believe you gave
me shit for calling you ‘Harry’ in front of kids when you apparently call me ‘baby’.”
HARRY: “I’ve never done that!”
LOUIS: “Jack never lies.”
HARRY: “I never did! He made an assumption…”
LOUIS: (raises in eyebrow) “How?”
HARRY: (muttered) “From what I told him.”
LOUIS: “Which was what?”
HARRY: (a blush spreading in his face) “Nothing.”
LOUIS: “Oh god, what did you tell this tiny three year old boy about us?”
HARRY: “He’s four.”
LOUIS: “Harry!”
HARRY: “I said that… I… He asked about why I look at you like that.”
HARRY: (air quoting) “With softness.”
LOUIS: “And?”
HARRY: “And I said I look at you like his mom looks at his dad.” (Louis seemed stunned) “So I
guess, I guess his parents say ‘baby’ to each other and—I don’t know, okay? It didn’t think.”
LOUIS: (has gotten serious) “You can’t do that.”
HARRY: “I didn’t think much—“
LOUIS: “You should have. You can’t do that, Harry. You can’t be spreading that.”
HARRY: “Spreading what? That sometimes people just feel fond of each other?”
LOUIS: “He could tell someone. Other kids, they’ll tell their parents.” (hand through his hair,
worried) “You can’t say shit like that to kids. They don’t get it. They have big mouths. We’ll have
parents screaming at us. we’ll get in trouble.” (beginning to panic) “I just promised Simon this
wouldn’t change anything—he let us stay together, that’s a big deal, he’s doing us a favor and
you’re…”
HARRY: “I’m what? I didn’t say anything. I mentioned—“
LOUIS: “You said we’re like his parents are like. That’s weird.”
HARRY: “It’s not weird.”
LOUIS: “Why would you tell child that?”
HARRY: “Because it’s not a big deal that two characters like each other. They’ve grown up with
love stories. They get it.”
LOUIS: “Two boys.”
HARRY: “And?” (stung) “How’s that any different?”
LOUIS: “It’s not—it’s new. It’s a new wave.” (struggling) “Parents—“
HARRY: “Should teach their kids to think of love as equal.”
LOUIS: “They should. But if they’re not doing it, it’s not your job to parent another person’s kid.”
HARRY: “As a caretaker, it is my job.”
LOUIS: “Your job is to entertain them.”
HARRY: “My job is to educate them.” (frustrated now) “And I will not teach them to be
prejudiced even if their families are. There is nothing wrong with children knowing it’s okay to
love whoever you want.”
LOUIS: (mirroring Harry’s frustration) “I didn’t say there was. I just said… It’s what I think. I’m
not… Of course it’s fine. It’s good. It’s a good thing but our jobs—we need to keep our jobs and
people are irrational. They have problems with everything. Parents especially. They whine about
every single thing, I don’t want Simon to hear of this.”
HARRY: “Wouldn’t he agree with us?”
LOUIS: “It’s not about who agrees with who. Parents are always right.”
HARRY: (furrows his eyebrow) “I don’t agree with that.”
LOUIS: (touching Harry’s forearm, gentle) “Please.” (the tone catches Harry off guard so he
looks up) “Don’t fuck this up for us. I love working with you. The kids love you. We’re doing
good. One battle at a time.” (Harry averts his eyes again) “Please?”
HARRY: (nods) “Okay.”
LOUIS: “You’re right about how it should be. You’re a hundred percent right. But sometimes it’s
not. And I want to help you get it there but I need to watch out for us first.”
HARRY: (nods again, shoulders slump) “I know, love.” (brings him closer into a hug) “My bad.
I’ll restrain from watching you with softness.”
LOUIS: (mumbled against Harry’s shoulder) “Inside the park. Everywhere else, go crazy. I’ll be
mad if you don’t.”
HARRY: (chuckles) “Eh, I’ll get used to it eventually. It’ll become—ouch!” (Louis pinches his
side, Harry chuckles) “It’ll become usual, every day life.”
ZAYN: “Harry.” (both Harry and Louis pull apart, startled) “Hey, bro.”
HARRY: (smiles wide again, goes in to hug him without hesitation) “Hey! Where have you been?”
ZAYN: (hugging him back) “I should ask you that. If it weren’t for Louis touting to the entire
world about his glorious boyfriend, I’d have thought you died.”
HARRY: “Ha. I’ve been hibernating. Winter is coming.”
ZAYN: “It’s Florida. You have no excuse.”
HARRY: “My excuse is you haven’t kicked my butt out of bed yet.” (hums as he squeezes Zayn
tighter) “You’ve grown skinny, Zaynie.”
ZAYN: “Speaking of which…” (looks at Louis as he asks) “Wanna get dinner with me tonight?”
HARRY: (pulling back from the hug) “Yeah, let’s do it.”
LOUIS: (muttered) “Well, don’t be jumping from joy.”
ZAYN: (to Louis) “Do you mind? If I steal him for a few hours? Is that okay?”
LOUIS: (pouting automatically) “Nope.” (glances at Harry, who looks worried, changes his
attitude, rolls his eyes playfully) “Not at all. He’s all yours.” (exaggerating) “Not all yours. He’s
all mine, still, but temporarily, bodily yours. Still mine, mentally. Where it counts.”
ZAYN: (purposely teasing him) “Agree to disagree.”
LOUIS: “Agree to shove my foot up your ass, mate.”
HARRY: (laughs) “Feisty tiny.” (still worried) “You’ll be fine driving home?”
LOUIS: (evil cackle) “Oh will I you ask? Just fine. Drag racing can commence. I’ve been waiting
for this day for years. I’m only dating you for these days where you let me use the car. In fact—I
asked this pawn…” (pointing at Zayn) “To come distract you so I can steal the car.”
HARRY: “I don’t disbelieve it.”
ZAYN: “He’ll be fine. He can drive. He can feed himself.” (Louis makes a ‘meh’ noise of
uncertainty, Harry opens his mouth in response before Zayn cuts him off) “He can survive on his
own for a few. You’re not the one breathing oxygen into his mouth.”
HARRY: “I am actually. I do that—“
ZAYN: (cringed) “You know what I mean, that was unnecessary.”
HARRY: “Very necessary. We’ll take the bus?” (opens his arms for Louis, Louis walks into the
hug, Harry cuddles him close, rocking from side to side, to Louis, against his hair) “You’ll be
good?”
LOUIS: “Don’t worry.”
HARRY: “I do worry.”
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes) “I’m a healthy twenty-five year old man. I know how to put noodles in the
microwave, I’ll be fine.”
HARRY: “What happened to baby wants coffee?”
ZAYN: “Unnecessary!”
LOUIS: “I’m only like that when it makes your life miserable.”
HARRY: “The mark of a functioning relationship.”
ZAYN: “The mark of me third-wheeling in the background.”
LOUIS: (gives him the middle finger behind Harry’s back while smiling angelically at Harry)
“Go, Zayn awaits, don’t keep him waiting.” (flutters his eyelashes in mock innocence) “I’ll be
good.” (pulls him close to kiss Harry’s cheek and whisper quickly) “Loveyouloser.”
HARRY: “Love you too.” (lets go) “Get home safe, alright?”
LOUIS: (imitates the car engine noise) “Fast and Furious time.” (waves) “Peace, losers.”
HARRY: “I’m serious. Safe.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, yeah.” (gets in the car) “Don’t let Zayn bum you!”
ZAYN: (to Harry) “Bum you? Really?”
LOUIS: “Eleanor taught him what that means and he’s been saying it all day.”
ZAYN: “Classic.”
Scene 3: Rainy
ZAYN: (sitting at a table, waiting for food to come) “So.”

HARRY: “So…”
ZAYN: “It happened.”
HARRY: “Yup.”
ZAYN: “And you’re not dying of excitement?”
HARRY: “Oh no, I am. Constantly dying. In a cycle of death and rebirth and death and rebirth.
I’m just not used to it yet. It feels hazy like a dream. I’m floating around happy but dreaming.”
ZAYN: “You didn’t tell me.”
HARRY: “I didn’t tell anyone. Was pretty frozen.”
ZAYN: “Kinda strange that I had to hear it from him… you being my best friend and all.”
HARRY: “I wanted him to spread the news when he was ready.”
ZAYN: “Which is fine. With everyone else. I thought I was above that. I wouldn’t have told
people.”
HARRY: (teasing him) “You’ve proven to have quite the mouth.”
ZAYN: (stung) “Alright then.”
HARRY: “I didn’t think it was a big deal.”
ZAYN: “I don’t believe you.”
HARRY: “Zayn, come on. You’re gonna hold a grudge about this?”
ZAYN: “I’m not. It’d be dumb to.”
HARRY: “It would be.”
ZAYN: “I guess I had pictured it in my head to go differently. We’ve been talking about this for so
long that I was kind of imagining you having a panic attack of happiness and calling me middle of
the night to bellow the news.”
HARRY: (small chuckle) “I thought I’d do that too.” (shrugs) “I don’t know. It was unexpected.”
ZAYN: “Was it?”
HARRY: “Not that we would, I mean maybe that we would. The way it happened was. How he—
I don’t know—the moment of clarity. I had resigned myself to sort of going along with whatever,
and being happy with what he could give me and when he gave me what I wanted, I didn’t know
how to react.” (small) “I still don’t.”
ZAYN: “Is that why you’re not telling people? Because you’re not sure it’s really happening or it
will continue to be happening?”
HARRY: (sheepish) “I’m giving it a month.”

ZAYN: “Harry, he’s happy.”
ZAYN: “He’s pretty decided. You should have seen him telling people. Like a kid getting his first
date in years. He’s with you all the way, he’s not pulling back.”
HARRY: “Give it a month.”
ZAYN: “What for?”
HARRY: “I don’t know.”
ZAYN: “Do you think he’ll change his mind?”
HARRY: “No.”
ZAYN: “Do you think he’ll run back in the closet?”
HARRY: “No. Not at all. I’ve seen the progress. He’s not going back to living in fear.”
ZAYN: “Then what? What are you scared of?”
HARRY: (shrugs) “Nothing. Takes getting used to it…”
ZAYN: “Harry.”
HARRY: “What?” (snapping) “Why are you drilling me like this?”
ZAYN: “I want you to—“
HARRY: “I’m sorry. That was angrier than I meant it. It’s stupid.”
ZAYN: “I love your stupid. It keeps me entertained for months. Tell me.”
HARRY: “He… I was there. When this happened. I happened to be there.”
ZAYN: “Ok?”
HARRY: “Maybe now that it’s better… I don’t know. Other people.”
ZAYN: “You think he only likes you because you were there when he realized he was gay? He
became gay and imprinted on you, the first boy he saw? Is that what you think?”
HARRY: “It’s stupid.”
ZAYN: “It’s incredibly stupid.” (Harry winces) “Because everyone in Florida can see it’s way
beyond you being a boy and him being gay. You don’t give yourself enough credit.”
HARRY: “I don’t think that. I don’t. It’s an insecurity. I get that it’s irrational. I said it was stupid.
I know.”
ZAYN: “What makes you think like that?”

HARRY: (fidgets with his hands) “He’s great. Great things don’t last with me.”
ZAYN: “Don’t do this again.”
ZAYN: “Don’t ruin it for yourself just because you’re happy. You’re allowed to be happy. You’re
allowed to have happiness. Making one mistake doesn’t damn you for life.”
HARRY: (putting his face in one hand) “I’m not making myself unhappy.” (pause) “I’m just
preventing myself from being too happy.”
ZAYN: “Why?”
HARRY: “So I don’t overwhelm him. I’m keeping it together. Keeping it in.” (looks down) “I
guess, I’m scared to be happy. I don’t want him feeling like he has to.”
ZAYN: “Has to what?”
HARRY: “Be with me. He doesn’t have to. If he changes his mind. I don’t want him to feel
pressured to.”
ZAYN: “He’s not.”
ZAYN: “Then why are you?”
HARRY: “Irrationality. You said you wanted to know what was on my mind and I told you. Now
you’re calling it stupid, fine. Let’s talk about something else. You can’t want both—I didn’t come
here to be psychoanalyzed.”
ZAYN: “I’m trying to say the right thing.”
HARRY: “Why must you? Just be normal. Just be happy, see through it. I don’t know what I’m
saying, I’m sorry. I missed you, I’m sorry.”
ZAYN: (reaches across the table to grab his hand) “I missed you too. Don’t be sorry. I didn’t
really give you a proper warm up before asking these things.”
HARRY: (small, fake smile) “You mean well.”
ZAYN: (pulls his hand away) “I guess I’m just as panicked about this as you.” (half-grin) “Not
really a good thing.”
HARRY: “I appreciate it.”
ZAYN: “Don’t. Not helpful.”
HARRY: “It comes from a place of caring about me.”
ZAYN: “This is a different thing, this relationship. Different you, different him, different
dynamics. You’ve grown. He’s grown. You’re at a much better place in life. It won’t go the same
way. It can’t.”
HARRY: (nods to himself, not looking at Zayn) “I’m trying to keep that in mind. Was so stressed
about getting here I never thought I’d have difficulty performing.” (opening up) “I’m scared that
this is his first and he’ll think of better and this is my last. I don’t, I’ve had a first. I’ve had my bad
relationship. This is the good one for me. I don’t want it to be the bad one for him.”
ZAYN: “You don’t think he’s had plenty bad ones already? You think a guy who deeply cares
about his well-being, makes him smile all the time and feel safe is gonna end up being his bad
one.”
HARRY: (smiles) “I sure hope not.” (purses his lips) “I’ve been seeing someone. A therapist. On
the side.”
ZAYN: “You never mentioned this.”
HARRY: “I know. It was… I fell into it. I met her after the Beau thing, because I felt unsafe with
how I was thinking—almost like I wasn’t being rational and I couldn’t trust myself to not do
something that would damage me indirectly. I wanted to someone to confirm that it would be fine.
So I met her and then just, continued, I guess. I haven’t told anyone.”
ZAYN: “Therapy isn’t a rare thing, Harry. People understand.”
HARRY: “I know.” (shrugs) “I don’t know. I mean, what’s up with me.”
ZAYN: “What does she tell you? You told her you and Louis…?”
HARRY: “Yeah. I tell her everything so I can hear myself talk—it helps just to hear my fears out
loud. It makes me notice that they’re not very real or likely. She says I need to see Beau again.”
ZAYN: “What? Why?”
HARRY: “Say goodbye. Apologize. I need to apologize. I need to like… let that part of my life go.
I feel that mistake is still present. I feel guilty and I can’t… it feels unfinished. She says perhaps I
can’t fully enjoy the relationship because I feel like that one is lingering on.”
ZAYN: “Apologize then. You don’t trust yourself to say sorry without getting involved?”
HARRY: “No, I do. The only reason I ever got involved was Louis—now, I have Louis. There’s
no temptation at all.”
ZAYN: “So?”
HARRY: “I should tell Louis. That I’m seeing him. And about the therapy.”
ZAYN: “And your delusion that he’ll find someone better.”
HARRY: “And that…I guess.” (worried) “Maybe I’m keeping a lot from him. I don’t want to ruin
his mood. He’s doing so well and I love seeing him like that. I can’t get him anxious too just
because I’m a confused idiot. I don’t want him to think I’m doubting. I’m struggling but not
doubting.”
ZAYN: “He’s your boyfriend. That’s what boyfriends do. They’re there for each other. You really
need to start seeing him that way. As an equal partner. It’s not just about you taking care of him,
Harry. He’s had problems. yes, but he seems stable now and he doesn’t need to be sheltered, not
with things he can do something about. He can help you and care for you.”
HARRY: “I don’t want to fall back into being cared for. I wanna be strong for him.”
ZAYN: “You can be strong and ask for help. You can have someone care for you without being
completely dependent on them.”
HARRY: “Thanks…” (couples of seconds pass) “I just want to be a good boyfriend this time
around.”
ZAYN: “You will. All you need to do is talk to him. Trust him. Things will work out.”
HARRY: “I’m glad you made me do this.”
ZAYN: “You seemed off.”
HARRY: “I’m adjusting.”
ZAYN: “Don’t isolate yourself. We’re all here for you. He’s taking this opportunity to bring
people closer. You have to do the same.”
HARRY: “I know.” (vulnerable) “But after spending so much attention and time and emotional
energy on this one thing that I really, really wanted… it’s weird, it seems so odd to have that and
the free time, not just time, but mental time, mental capacity to think of other things. And I guess,
my mind is automatically filling that in with fears of the future and dread and self-defeating
attitudes.”
ZAYN: “Find a hobby. That’s not Louis. Louis was your hobby and now if you want this to work,
you need to find a new one. He’ll be there. Work on yourself for a bit. Let him in.”
Scene 4: Stormy
LOUIS: (later that night, both laying in bed, watching a movie, Louis between Harry’s legs)
“Hey.”
HARRY: (cheek on Louis’ head, sleepy, content) “Mhm?”
LOUIS: “I was just wondering, like randomly, you know. This sort of reminded me.”
HARRY: “Yeah?”
LOUIS: “Cause I had that meeting with Simon today—and this isn’t like a big deal or anything. I
don’t think it’s huge…”
HARRY: (frowning slightly) “What’s up?”
LOUIS: “Um…” (sits up and crawls away, turns around so they can talk face to face) “He had
this, uh…idea of sorts.”
HARRY: “What idea?” (biting his lip) “Should I be worried?”
LOUIS: “No, no. Nothing to worry about. It’s not like…a bad idea. I mean, it could be. It could be
good too. It’s…” (exhales) “It’s an idea. Could go either way so I wanted to run it by you. I wanted
us to make the decision together.”
HARRY: “Okay.” (notices Louis is nervous, smiles at him) “Tell me.”
LOUIS: “Right.” (gulps, obviously nervous) “Um, he like suggested we…uh, move in together.
Kind of.”
HARRY: (caught off guard) “Move in.”
LOUIS: “Yeah.”
HARRY: “Oh.”
LOUIS: “Yeah.”
HARRY: “What does kind of mean?”
LOUIS: “Like, right now, like we’re doing now, together, but bigger room, new room. Official
room.” (chuckle) “Real adult serious stuff. He told me today.”
HARRY: (long pause) “I see.”
LOUIS: (can’t look at him in the eye) “I didn’t say anything, of course, said it would be something
to discuss with you. I can’t make that decision obviously.”
HARRY: “Do you…not like it here?”
LOUIS: “I do. I like it. It’s good.”
HARRY: “Ok.”
LOUIS: “Just, that’s bigger that’s all. That’s about all that would change. He said that too, that we
were already living together as it is so might as well not let a room go to waste. We’re not using
both rooms now, I mean.”
HARRY: (nodding to himself) “I understand. I think…”
LOUIS: “Yeah?”
HARRY: “I think…uh…” (shuts his eyes, mild wince, opens them) “I think we should wait.”
LOUIS: “Wait.”
HARRY: “Wait before making a decision.”
LOUIS: (can’t hide the disappointment) “…ah.”
HARRY: “I…” (sighs, reaches over to grab Louis’ hands in his) “I love this. I love living with
you. I don’t regret a single thing.”
LOUIS: “Okay?”
HARRY: “But this is a big step. It’s more than just logistics. It’s a big mental step. Moving in…I
know we live together now. And have been roommates for some time…”
LOUIS: (sarcastic in disbelief) “Roommates.”

HARRY: “Well before, before we were. It was on those terms and now that we’ve added the
relationship, there’s more at stake. It’s different. It’s new.”
LOUIS: “What is? What will be new?”
HARRY: “Us.”
LOUIS: “Weren’t you the one to say we’re exactly the same, nothing has changed?”
HARRY: “I was. We are. That’s true.”
LOUIS: “So…?”
HARRY: “We don’t know yet how—it’s early, Lou. I don’t—what if, I don’t know.”
LOUIS: (hurt) “What if we break up?”
HARRY: “No! No. Absolutely—no, we won’t.”
LOUIS: “But you’re thinking about it…” (voice higher pitched in pain) “Now that the mystery or
whatever is gone, the chase is over, you’re thinking about. You’re thinking about what it would be
like, the end?”
HARRY: “I’m not. It doesn’t cross my mind.”
LOUIS: “Hasn’t ever?”
HARRY: “It has but I’m irrational—Louis, no.” (Louis yanks his hands away, Harry pulls him
back in) “It has because I’m scared—I’m terrified, not because I want it to or—I don’t. I’d hate it.
I’d be broken up about it—I’m not saying this right. I don’t want that to ever, ever happen, baby,
ever.”
LOUIS: “What if what then? What the hell could happen if not that—?”
HARRY: “I don’t know.We might fight.”
LOUIS: “And? We’ve fought before. You think this relationship will come down to a fight—“
HARRY: “I don’t. Lou, please.” (tries pulling him to his chest, Louis pushes him back) “I don’t.
It’s not that.”
LOUIS: “We’re fighting now. What? You want to end it all? Call it quits? Right here?”
HARRY: (brokenly) “No.”
LOUIS: “You think just because we’re doing this, I’ll start thinking about kicking you to the
curb.”
HARRY: “We’re not fighting, don’t say that.”
LOUIS: “We are. This is a fight. You said, what if we fight. Here we are. What if we fight? Let’s
discover the answer to that now.”
HARRY: “I’m not saying that. I’m just saying we might need space. It’s big, moving in stresses
people and it feels like—”
LOUIS: “Do you need space? Are you kicking me out?”
HARRY: “Be serious.”
LOUIS: “I am serious.”
HARRY: “I’m not kicking you out. I’m trying to think about this more. I think we should think
about it some more. Because I’ve moved in before and it makes you feel trapped and I don’t want
us to—”
LOUIS: “This isn’t before, Harry.”
HARRY: “I know that.”
LOUIS: “This isn’t Ed.”
HARRY: (louder) “I know that! I know that. You think I don’t—I know. It’s different. We’re
different and it’s working so well…”
LOUIS: “So why do you want to sabotage it?”
HARRY: “I’m trying to not do that.” (sniffling) “I’m trying to do anything but that. To give us the
best possible chance. To avoid anything that might lead to problems and I know I can’t always do
that. I can’t live in fear of every complication and shelter us from the possibility of fighting
because we will. People fight when they care too much and when their hearts are on the line and
when there’s a lot at stake and their desperate. And we’ll fight too. More often now that we’re
together. And we’ll be fine after, I know that. Trust me, I do.”
LOUIS: “Then what?”
HARRY: “But I think we should just give it a little more thought, that’s all.” (Louis opens his
mouth, Harry interrupts him by pulling him forward and kissing him on the mouth) “Not because
of what happened with Ed. Not because I don’t trust I’m not gonna marry your ass some day. Not
because of those. I believe it’s right to wait until we calm down more. One change at a time. One
battle at a time, like you said.”
Scene 5: All Clear
HARRY: (morning, both in bed, Louis’ on Harry’s chest, very much asleep, Harry looks like he’s
been awake for some time, alarm goes off, Harry reaches over to silent it) “Uh-oh.”
LOUIS: (stirs, doesn’t move) “No.”
HARRY: (throaty chuckle) “I know.”
LOUIS: “Too cold out there. Don’t leave.”
HARRY: (hugs Louis better) “I wish but some of us don’t have all day to ourselves.”
LOUIS: (smiles with his eyes closed) “You could.”
HARRY: “Not if we want to keep watching three movies a week.” (stretches one arm, yawns,
sleepy voice) “I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”
LOUIS: “All of which I will be asleep during.”
HARRY: “Well-deserved.”
LOUIS: (fall into silence, just laying there, half-hugging each other, Louis finally opens his eyes)
“I’m not going to leave you.”
HARRY: “Hmm?”
LOUIS: “I was thinking about this. All night.”
HARRY: (chuckles) “About leaving me?”
LOUIS: “No. About how in fights, I don’t truly feel scared because I know how you feel about
me.” (touching Harry’s chest with his fingers) “And I was thinking that I should do that more, tell
you how I feel about you so you’re also not worrying.”
HARRY: (pushing Louis’ bangs back, strand by strand gently) “Then we’ll have empty fights full
of random threats with no real conflict. Won’t those be boring?”
LOUIS: (grins, closes his eyes again) “They might but the point is I’m not leaving you. I have to
emphasize that so your stupid morning mind gets it.”
HARRY: “Hasn’t gotten it yet. It’s gonna need about three more repetitions.”
LOUIS: (raises his head to stare at Harry) “I’m not gonna leave you. I’m not gonna leave you.
I’m not gonna leave you. Better?”
HARRY: (smiles warmly) “Much better.”
LOUIS: “Can we bum each other now?”
HARRY: “Each other. That’s ambitious.” (starts to crawl out of bed, Louis rolls over to the
pillows) “That might take time. And a lot of coordination.”
LOUIS: (shyly) “Let’s make time.”
HARRY: “Yeah?”
LOUIS: “Yeah. I wanna make time to like…” (blushes, buries his face in the pillow) “Explore a
bit. Parts and stuff.”
HARRY: (leans down to whisper at him) “Tell me when and where and I’ll drop everything for
you, sexy.” (gruffer) “Can’t wait to have you order me around about what you want done, for how
long, in what way.” (almost moan) “I can’t wait to pleasure you right.”
LOUIS: (squeaky) “Pervert. Get your kinks away from me.”
HARRY: “They’re making you blush?”
LOUIS: (mumbled low) “They’re making me excited.”

HARRY: “That so?” (lightly slaps Louis’ ass, Louis curses at him) “You’ll have to wait until I
have a couple of hours free. Once I start I don’t think you’ll want me to be done all that quickly.”
LOUIS: “Moron!” (gripping the bed, Harry laughs, kisses his forehead) “You’re embarrassing,
god. Fuck off to work already.”
HARRY: “So you can start working on that thing you’re hiding under there?” (Louis shoves him
away, Harry’s grinning as he gets up and moves towards the closet to get dressed) “Those undies
are in the box under the bed if you need a dress rehearsal.”
LOUIS: (almost choked) “Wait, Haz!’
HARRY: “Yeah?” (Louis doesn’t respond so Harry walks back in the room again) “Yes, love?”
LOUIS: (reaches one arm out, still face down on the bed) “Last hug?”
HARRY: “Aw, Lou-Lou missed me already.” (sits on the bed to hug him, Louis doesn’t move) “It
won’t be a proper hug?”
LOUIS: (grabs Harry’s hand, drags him under his body so it brushes against his crotch) “Just
wanted to make sure you knew how much I wanted you.”
HARRY: (shocked still, slowly reddening, breath hitching) “Louis!”
LOUIS: (jerks into Harry’s hand, rocking his hips so Harry gets a better idea of how hard he is)
“You’re not the only one who can play games.”
Dirty Boy
Chapter 108: Dirty Boy
(lazing on the bed, freshly showered, hair wet, naked with the exception of boxer shorts, which are
clearly tented, phone on his ear) “Hey Harry—thought of calling, of doing the voicemail like in the
past but—uh, but it’d be too short, especially after this morning, I’ve gotten to a point where the
voice mail would definitely not be enough.” (short laugh) “So I’ll do a voice recording instead …
Maybe I should have called…but uh, I didn’t…well, I didn’t really have anything to say—I could
come up with something but…” (sighs an okay to himself to get courage) “Harry, I’m uh… sitting
on our bed and just had a shower and was thinking of you. In there. I do that a lot. I know you do
too because sometimes you’re not all that subtle about your…um, noises and I…” (blushing) “I
love it really. It’s a weird thing that we’ve been doing for a bit, I think. You doing it in there,
knowing I’d hear you and get nice and hard—what I like most I guess is the race thing, you’ve
never caught me at it so it’s—thought you should know. And that, I uh…” (hasn’t noticed he is
rubbing himself on top of his boxers slowly) “I wanted to try something this time, like a game, like
I initiate the game. Something more interactive but not quite, and um…” (looks down at himself,
bites his lip, slides his hand up to his stomach where his happy trail is) “I know you did these
kinds of thing with—doesn’t matter, not thinking of him now…” (voice lower) “Thinking of you.
And how hot you look when you get out of the shower…rosy-cheeks, that tiny smirk on your face
because you think you’re so smart and subtle—you think you can fool me…” (light hum, fingers
tuck under the waistband of his boxers) “Your body, the tattoos, how well they fit on it—how
fucking—“ (a moan of almost surprise as he notices he is fully holding himself in his fist) “I’m
being really naughty right now—“ (nervous chuckle) “And if Obama is tracking these phones…
yikes—Hi NASA, sorry for the trauma, just trying to get my boyfriend to get the hints already and
touch me properly—wait, getting sidetracked.” (takes a second to compose himself, closes his eyes,
drags his fingers slowly and loosely up and down his crotch, teasingly) “You left way too early
today, god, I wish you had stayed. I wish you were there, I pretty much wanked all morning non-
stop and it wasn’t all that satisfying because now that I know I can have you, and your hands, your
big, sexy hands…” (gripping himself properly) “Your lips—“ (breath hitches) “Yeah, I’d love that,
we can start with that. If you want—if you’re into that—god, I’d be so into that. I’ve been thinking
of that for months now. I don’t let myself get too far in my mind mhm, just enough, just enough to
—I don’t need to…well, I’m slowly wanting to more. Before I was fine—just your soft lips, the
idea of them anywhere near there—especially after I showed you that…” (gulps) “You know…
and you weren’t bothered, after that I’m so obsessed with you actually…” (another moan, trying to
move faster, getting caught up in his boxer shorts, semi-frustrated, whining in lust) “Want you
here. I’m so hard, biggest I’ve ever seen myself, probably not bigger than you—can’t wait, babe—
I love calling you ‘babe’, so hot, I love that I can do that now…” (opens his eyes, stares at the
bulge, guides his dick outside the boxer shorts by pushing the waistband down and under it) “I
shouldn’t have put on fresh underpants because they’re well fucked now. It’s so wet, like seriously,
it’s all gooey—I should probably close the blinds, damn, but you like that don’t you? You like the
thought of being naughty and getting caught. Isn’t that your thing? I can’t deny you your thing,
huh? I’ll give you more, you should know, way more than him, I’ll give you everything you need
—I’ll have you panting—like I’m doing right now.” (wraps his fingers around the base of his
member, recommences the slow and deep motion up and down) “If you were here I’d let you do it
with the blinds open, or maybe at night when it’s dark, we can turn off all the lights and…and…
touch and kiss and no one will know but we’ll see outside so we’ll know—is this girly? Do girls
think like this? Is this too scenic? I never used to do it like this with setting the mood and
everything. It was always quick and over, like watching porn, but I don’t want to do that with you.
Ever since I knew I wanted you, it’s always been you. And I don’t do it to get tingly anymore. It’s
more than that. I want it to be more with you… I want it to last long and drag for hours, I want you
to keep me here fore hours…” (bites his lip, eyes dark, almost whispers the next part) “I want you
to tease me. Keep me guessing. Make me ask a lot because then, then I get to talk back and decide
—I’ll feel more in control so just…” (groaning in frustration, mental and sexual, his body is
shaking, muscles contracting and relaxing) “Why am I so bad at this?” (sob-sounding) “I’m so
horny right now and it hurts and I want you and I’ve like this all morning and I just want to…”
(notices how much he’s sped up, his hips urgently squirming on the bed for more contact, tries
slowing down, with effort, whimpers at the back of his throat, throws his head back in the pillow,
curls his toes underneath his fluffy socks, sweat building on his body) “Maybe I shouldn’t have
done this, now I’m pining…now I’m wishing you’d have picked up because then I’d have your
voice, like today when you said that…I actually quite like when you talk dirty, I don’t know if
you’ve noticed. You can talk dirty all you want to me, babe.” (groan) “I love you, babe. Babe,
babe, babe.” (another moan, lips wet in saliva, trickles of precome on his fingers and stomach)
“And everyone else out there thinks you’re this dolled up angel with a clean, little mouth and a
prude little body—they don’t fucking know at all—oh yeah, all that gets to be our secret, anything
you do to me—and you can do just about anything, Hazza… Just…Ugh, just do something, just
don’t leave me waiting like this anymore—I want you, I’m telling you I want you…I want slow but
I want this too because I’m so annoyed right now; I can’t think of anything else. I smell you on this
bed and get so horny—” (rocking his hips in timing with his hand, shoulders digging in the bed,
eyes shut tight) “Wait…” (breathy chuckle, tries to balance the phone on his shoulder and face)
“Some shuffling here, so I can use both hands, though they barely cover it all at this point—they
should be your hands. I’m trying to think of them as your hands… What would I say…I’d say”
(one hand slides to cup his balls, the other still works on his dick) “I’d say, please a lot because I
don’t mind saying please with you…” (picking up rhythm, his entire face is read, fringe sticking to
his forehead, wet and truly) “I’d say you can try like…” (soft, hot exhale) “Try down there,
touching me…” (chocked up chuckle) “Maybe I should wait, huh? Wait for you like this, so ready
—Don’t think I can wait though. Way too turned on to wait, way to into this—wish I had fucking
called you, I wanna call you—I wanna hear you, I want you to talk me through this, tell me not to
touch down there—because you want to do it first—you’d be my first you know and I’m scared,
yeah, but…” (trails off, too unfocused to properly form coherent sentences) “I’ve shaved for you.
So soft all over, just for you.” (sudden) “Okay, I’m close, that can’t be my last thought—that’s too
unhot of a thought—I have to think of something else…You, you, you, you, you…” (wanton,
moans, merging with barely whispered curses and half-pronounced pleas and a lot of Harry’s
name) “You’ll do this better—I know, Haz, oh, fuck, I want—shit, oh.” (jerks, almost arches off
the bed with the finish, barely has anything left to spill on his abs, breathing heavily with the finish,
chuckles and giggles in between) “What am I doing—what the hell was that—what have we
become…” (poking his shrinking hard on) “It’s so done now. It’s dead—it hurts—too hard this
time. I got way too excited. Hope you do too, hope you don’t blast this all over the internets for the
Disney ladies to see because they sure as hell would love it—they’ve never heard me like that.
They’d be all, why did you not make noise with us, why did you not get hot with us and I’d say—
wait, this isn’t a conversation but anyway, yeah, uh, so, now you know I get random after—with
the afterglow, I get dumb. I need a smoke. I need a good, long smoke, see you soon, sexy boy.
Don’t Kim K me.”
(hours later, texting) “I’m stuck in traffic and there’s jizz all over my pants.”
“You owe me.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You will when I’m through with you.”

Done
Chapter 109: Done
HARRY: (unlocking the door to walk into his room, holding bags of takeout) “Do not tell me you
have not left the house today.”
LOUIS: (squeaks, jumps behind the bed so only his face is in sight, chin on the mattress) “Does
balcony count?”
HARRY: “Depends.” (drops off the food in the kitchen) “Was it for longer than a smoke break?”
(comes in the main room, looks around confused at first then spotting Louis) “What… are you still
naked?”
LOUIS: “Not quite…”
HARRY: “Are you sure?”
LOUIS: “Relatively.”
HARRY: (unbuttoning his shirt to switch into an old t-shirt) “All day? You’ve been at it all day?”
LOUIS: “Somewhat…”
HARRY: (pulling off the shirt, topless) “Is this okay?” (teasing) “Or am I triggering you again,
you addict?”
LOUIS: (cheek on bed) “No, it’s like…the deadest it’s ever been. I’m surprised I can pee.”
HARRY: (laughs) “You’re a menace!”
LOUIS: “Your fault! Who says stuff like that when a man has nothing to do all day? Who says
stuff like that when a man already wakes up with a boner?”
HARRY: “Touche. Did you find the monster?”
LOUIS: “What?”
HARRY: “Did you look under the bed?” (winks when Louis catches on and blushes) “No, not yet?
All this and you haven’t even touched the forbidden chest?”
LOUIS: (muttered) “I’ll touch your chest…”
HARRY: (stops mid-way on the shirt, only arms in, quotes Louis’ video) “My sexy tattoos and
where they are on my body?”
LOUIS: (groans in embarrassment, shoves his face on the bed) “I thought we were gonna pretend
that never happened.”
HARRY: “Is that what we were gonna do?” (shuffling out of his pants) “But how when this sticky
situation here just reminded me…”
LOUIS: (head flips up) “Lemme see?”
HARRY: “It’s wholly unimpressive. Unless you’re speaking off my, well…”
LOUIS: “I wanna see the proof. So I know you weren’t lying. I want to see the trophy.”
HARRY: (chuckles) “I wasn’t.” (throws his pants in the basket, loops his thumbs under the
waistband of his briefs, about to pull them down) “You have to come here though to see. I don’t
wanna touch it. It’s stiff and dry. I might cut my hand on it.”
LOUIS: (face back on the bed right as Harry pull his underwear off, sneaky) “What are you
doing?!”
HARRY: “Changing?”
LOUIS: “Here? With me here? Without warning? Say heads at least so I don’t see your head.”
HARRY: (amused) “Wait, are we not seeing each other’s crotches?” (throws the briefs in the
laundry, picks a new pair) “I must have gotten the wrong memo from I want this to be your hand
and—
LOUIS: “Shut up!” (flustered) “Shutupshutupshutup.”
HARRY: (chuckling, in fresh boxers) “You can look. I’m decent. Your pure virginal eyes won’t
suffer.” (Louis looks up) “Want food? I got your favorite.”
LOUIS: “Yes—but wait, I have to tell you something first.”
HARRY: “Uh-oh, should I be putting my jacket back on?”
LOUIS: “What? No, no. It’s more like uh, a do something moment.”
HARRY: “Does it have anything to do with you hiding behind the bed?”
LOUIS: “Yes.”
HARRY: “Should I shield my eyes?”
LOUIS: “No. You should sit here.”
HARRY: “On the bed?”
LOUIS: “Yes, sit on the bed.” (Harry walks but hesitantly) “H, can you just…go with me on this
one? Without, you know, the FBI interrogation?”
HARRY: “Will it ruin the surprise?” (Louis gives him a look, Harry nods, climbs on the bed,
kneeling) “Where do you want me?”
LOUIS: (points at the headboard) “There. On your ass. Back against that. Like sitting next to the
headboard.”
HARRY: (obliges) “Are we watching a movie? Because we should eat first. Or we can eat in bed.
The food might get cold.”
LOUIS: “This won’t take long.” (Harry waits patiently, Louis stumbles with his words) “Uh,
could you close your eyes?”
HARRY: (giddy) “A real surprise then? I think I’m starting to guess where this is going.”
LOUIS: (gravely) “Hazza.”
HARRY: (sobering up) “Should I turn off the light?” (gently) “Is this like that kind of do-
something?”
LOUIS: (a pause) “No. No. It’s different. Close your eyes. I’ll explain.”
HARRY: “Okay.” (puts his hands on his eyes) “What next?”
LOUIS: (takes a deep but shaky breath) “Don’t cheat, okay?” (Harry nods, Louis breathes in and
out again) “Okay. Stay put.” (stands up gingerly, is naked with the exception of briefs, short and
tight ones that were clearly burrowed from Harry) “I’m gonna just sit on your lap for a bit—don’t
open your eyes yet.”
HARRY: (shuffles to get more comfortable) “Lap dance style?”
LOUIS: “No, I don’t know. I don’t know what that is.” (flustered) “Just stay like that.” (crawls on
the bed, straddles Harry slowly, barely putting any weight on Harry’s lap, the briefs slide up to
reveal the many white scars on his thighs, now glaringly present with the lights on) “Ok, I’m
gonna—um…”
HARRY: “I’ll try to not get hard but I can’t promise anything because we’re practically skin to
skin.”
LOUIS: “I know. A layer away.” (Harry’s breath hitches, Louis gulps, puts his hands on top of
Harry’s) “I realize now this is way more suspenseful than I wanted it to be…”
HARRY: (dry chuckle) “That’s good. I don’t mind. Take your time.”
LOUIS: (drags Harry’s hands away from his eyes and on top of each of Louis’ thighs, Harry’s
eyes are still shut, Louis whispers) “You can open your eyes now.”
HARRY: (slowly opens his eyes, looks at Louis’ face only) “What do you need me to do, darling?
I just need a hint then I’ll be right there with you…”
LOUIS: “Um.” (eyes dart down at his own thighs, back to Harry’s, Harry’s never move from
Louis’ face) “I want you to see…me. Fully. Like. In the light.” (gulps again, words sticky in
emotion) “All of it. The uh the…” (croaking) “The damage…”
HARRY: (nods, fingers rub Louis’ skin, caressing his thighs but he doesn’t look yet) “You’re
beautiful, you know that?”
LOUIS: (nods, sucking his lips) “Yeah, yeah. But—”
HARRY: “Not buts, you’re beautiful. Already and you will probably be more beautiful after this.”
LOUIS: “Okay, yeah. I know that.”
HARRY: “Good. Never forget.” (lowers his voice to a whisper) “Can I?”
LOUIS: “Be gentle.”
HARRY: “No worries, beautiful.” (finally looks down, doesn’t have any violent reaction, instead
slowly touches the scars, moving from the ones right under his fingers to the ones closer to Louis’
inner thighs, then up to the ones half-hidden by the boxers, almost tickling Louis’ skin teasingly,
finger pads barely applying any pressure, feathery touches) “I know—” (voice catches, he coughs)
“I know that this isn’t the point of this but…”
LOUIS: (holding his breath) “But?”
HARRY: “But you’re so, so attractive and I’m so, so attracted to you so just, I know it’s not the
point but if I get, you know.” (stirs so Louis gets the hint) “It’s because of that. I don’t mean to
ruin the moment.”
LOUIS: “Oh.” (blushes) “No, no, please do.”
HARRY: (raises an amused eyebrow) “No, that’s for later. Now we’re doing this?”
LOUIS: “Ok. That’s, good too…I like that too…”
HARRY: “Show me the tattoo.”
LOUIS: “Which one?”
HARRY: “The crotch tattoo. Show me?”
LOUIS: (not expecting the question, thrown off, stalling) “Uh, the—the—it’s uh, here.” (points on
top his briefs) “You wanna—?” (Harry nods) “Sure, yeah. Uh…” (shyly) “And then we’ll talk
about…everything else.”
HARRY: “Yes, we will, I promise.”
LOUIS: “Ok. Tattoo. Here.” (carefully lowers one side of his briefs so his hairless groin shows,
holds it down so Harry can see better) “Here.” (points at a small, black tattoo of a semi-colon)
“It’s small. It took like, two seconds.”
HARRY: (moves his hand to cup Louis’ waist, thumb grazing close to the tattoo, light chuckle)
“You did shave.”
LOUIS: (embarrassed) “Yeah.” (smally hopeful) “You like it?”
HARRY: “Way too much. More than it’s recommended.” (sobers up, peering at the tattoo,
caressing it) “What’s the story?”
LOUIS: “It’s a common tattoo. A symbol. A common symbol.”
HARRY: (eyes back on Louis’ face) “For what?”
LOUIS: (bits his lip, lets the brief slide back up to cover it, Harry’s thumb preventing them from
straightening fully) “Uh. An attempt. It’s supposed to…” (opens and closes his mouth, starts over,
more impersonally) “A writer uses a semi-colon when they were gonna end a sentence but decided
not to, decided to make it longer, to add another sentence to it.”
HARRY: (catching on, in wonder) “So—?”

LOUIS: (looking down in shame) “I chose to make it longer. When I had the power to cut it
short…” (smaller) “To end it. I chose to live. I chose to continue.” (snorts, trying to pull away
emotionally) “It’s dumb. Cliche. It’s uh…I didn’t come up with it. It’s like…literary or whatever.”
HARRY: “It’s brilliant.”
LOUIS: “It’s not, not really.”
HARRY: “No, it’s an amazing way to—it’s an amazing metaphor. It’s a brilliant tattoo.” (face
falls) “I’m just…” (throat tight) “This was recent? This was when—when you were already friends
with Dan so—Disney?”
LOUIS: “My first year. December. My birthday. It was a birthday tattoo—Dan didn’t have me pay
for it. He uh, he gifted it to me. It was nice of him.”
HARRY: (so touched by the story, can’t form thoughts yet) “Yeah…yeah, it was…”
LOUIS: (descends into rambling without noticing, obvious he had no intention of telling this story
but is glad to have to do it) “I had a rough year. I couldn’t quite—I hadn’t made many friends that
year. Some of the gang was here but I was new and cocky and…” (air quotes) “Temporary…at
least in my mind, I was. I kept telling everyone that I would be gone soon, that this wasn’t what I
wanted—that I didn’t care.”
HARRY: “You were fresh out of school?”
LOUIS: “Yeah, kinda, fresh out of their school, the training—point is, Christmas comes along…
People go home, because that’s what people do for Christmas, be with their loved ones… Niall
went home—he was the only one I had. I was alone. And was walking around—as lonely,
depressed people do on Christmas, when Disney is the happiest place in the world. I was sitting in
the village, moping—super late, all empty—post-closing time. It hit me. How unhappy I was
and…” (shrugs) “I thought of it.”
HARRY: (pained) “You were alone for your birthday?”
LOUIS: (sad snort) “Yeah, yeah, double the depression, right? No christmas with family, no
birthday.” (Harry thumbs at his own eyes, blinks tears back, Louis pulls his hands away, holds
them in his lap) “It’s okay. I chose not to…That’s the happy part of the story, that I didn’t. Nothing
happened. I survived it,” (looking at their held hands, whispered under his breath) “I’m glad I
did.”
HARRY: (pulls him in his arms, hugs him tightly, kissing his forehead repeatedly, rocking him in
his arms) “I’m glader.”
LOUIS: (squeezed, can barely breathe but is not pushing away) “That’s not a word.”
HARRY: “Well, I don’t know—I’m too relieved to think of words.” (pulls his arms back so Louis
can breathe again, nose to nose) “I don’t think there’s any words I can say to fully tell you what
I’m feeling—what it feels like to imagine…to think of such an important part of your life, possibly
gone.” (touches Louis’ hair) “Such an important person, struggling so much…”
LOUIS: (mumbled) “It was better when you came along.”
HARRY: “Yeah?”
LOUIS: “Yeah. It was…” (catches himself, coughs, teasing) “It was fun to have someone to bully
the happiness out of.”
HARRY: “That so?” (smiles) “Is that why you kept talking to me—I kept telling myself, how does
he even know my name—you were like super cool jock boy in my book.”
LOUIS: “The theatre kid, a jock boy?”
HARRY: “Didn’t you do a lot of sporty things? In high school?
LOUIS: (winces) “That’s…a story for another day. One story at a time in the series I’m proud to
call, the messed up life of Louis Tomlinson.” (pulls away, more serious) “ But thank you. For
asking.” (afterthought) “Even though that wasn’t the point. These were the point…”
HARRY: (looks at Louis’ scars again) “They’re like tattoos in a way, huh?” (traces the ‘FAG’
mark) “Stories. Parts of yourself. You shouldn’t be ashamed of them.”
LOUIS: “It’s a disgusting thing to do. It’s wrong.”
HARRY: “It’s…It’s a coping mechanism. Not the best but the best you had available.” (touches
Louis’ cheek) “I cannot fault it because it got you here, where you’re safe and happy. I wish with
all my heart you wouldn’t have had to do it, to hurt like this, but I will not see it as anything but a
trophy—a sign of a battle won.” (touches the earliest scars, just straight lines, like strikes)
“Especially these ones, the old ones, the ones you haven’t felt the need to ever face again.” (finger
moves up and down the lines) “What were you counting?”
LOUIS: (placing his own finger next to Harry’s) “Days.” (gulps) “Number of days I saw my real
father since the divorce.”
HARRY: “I’m sorry to hear that.”
LOUIS: “Don’t be. He treated me like shit. He’s the reason I’m this brutally confused. And I hate
him. I’m glad that number isn’t bigger.” (Harry slowly moves to another scar that says
‘WORTHL’, Louis chuckles bitterly) “Couldn’t finish. Too painful. Too much blood—passed out.”
(Harry hisses without meaning to) “And I got really scared. Because even though I did it, I didn’t
want to die. I was scared to die and that day I was sure I might die.” (shrugs to make it sound less
important than it is) “Maybe it’s the veins right there or something—it bled a lot.”
HARRY: “Did you ever… hospital?”
LOUIS: “No. I don’t think my mom ever found out. I don’t think she knows to this day.”
(thinking) “I think Niall knows, I think…and Ash, well, obviously.” (Harry makes a face at the
memory) “And you and Ed.”
HARRY: “Ed?”
LOUIS: “Yeah, he uh…” (sheepish) “He’s easy to talk to.”
HARRY: (clipped) “Right.”
LOUIS: “He really helped me out when we met him. With everything. It was the first time I had
done that—been that open to someone like that.” (Harry is half frowning, half pouting) “I don’t
know. I’d never slipped it out that soon but it was like, I’d met my fairy god mother…” (Harry
can’t help but chuckle) “This one person I could tell everything to that could help and that I’d
never see again. I thought I’d never see him again, but now, I hope we do.”
HARRY: (muttered) “I’m a bit jealous.”
LOUIS: “What? Really?”
HARRY: “And by a bit, I mean a lot. I’m a lot jealous.”
LOUIS: “Haz, be serious.” (sees Harry is serious and struggling to act indifferent) “Harry, you
don’t have to be. It’s a very different relationship. A very different kind of close. Opening up to
him was easy because I didn’t quite care what happened next. With you, it was fucking heart
wrenching because I was constantly—am constantly—praying that you accept it, that you maybe
like it, me, who I am, all the parts… because I like you a lot and I want to keep liking you forever
and ever and ever and that’ll be much harder if every time I drop my guard, I disgust you.”
HARRY: “You’d never.”
LOUIS: “I don’t…feel anything with him. Let alone anything like this.”
HARRY: (smiles faintly) “Like what?”
LOUIS: (catching on, rolling his eyes) “Oh now you want your ego stroked.”
HARRY: “Yes? A tiny bit?”
LOUIS: “Like sparks—that’s cliche—like fireworks—“
HARRY: “That’s also cliche.”
LOUIS: “Like demon lobsters sword fighting in my stomach with Star Wars laser stick things—I
haven’t watched Star Wars, okay, don’t look at me like that.”
HARRY: “I now know what we’ll be eating that microwaved food to.”
LOUIS: “Fine. Are you still jealous?”
HARRY: “No, because devil lobsters and stuff.”
LOUIS: “Demon. Lobsters.”
HARRY: “Even better.” (Louis laughs) “Have you told him about us? Ed?”
LOUIS: “No. He’s your friend.”
HARRY: “He’s my ex. Your friend.”
LOUIS: “I told everyone. You should get the chance to tell someone.”
HARRY: “Right, right.” (silence, the two just sitting there, Harry eventually speaks up, voice
somewhat wobbling) “Where’s the new one?” (Louis looks confused) “The one…” (taps his fingers
against Louis’ thigh) “The one I…I ran into you that day—Remember?” (clogged words, sad)
“Which one is the one I caused.”
LOUIS: “You didn’t.”
LOUIS: “You didn’t do anything. It’s not—It’s different. It’s not a scar of pain…not that kind of
pain. It—I realized something that night. The pain wasn’t a pain of badness. It was a pain of lack. I
missed you—I needed you—I realized that. I love that scar.” (raising one side of his briefs enough
to expose a tiny H carved shallowly, completely healed) “It’s the day I feared anything but the
thing that had terrorized me all my life. It was the day I knew the fear of losing you was greater
than the fear of being…” (hesitates only a moment) “Of being gay.”
HARRY: (places his thumb on top of the scar, covers it completely) “It bled so much…”
LOUIS: “They do that. They’re random. I haven’t figured it out yet. Was never quite good at
biology.”
LOUIS: “Stop saying that.”
HARRY: (nods, stares at Louis meaningfully) “No more though?”
LOUIS: (smiles) “No more. Good finish, though, admit that.” (Harry frowns) “I’m sorry—that
sounded, this is a tough topic for me…” (shrugs) “I guess, I’m just trying to make it funny, or
make it normal… so I can live with it. If I’m gonna have to live with it, I can’t be horrified
anymore. I should be able to laugh and—and shrug it off. It’s there so…”
HARRY: (places his hands on the bed, shuffles his butt lower so he can slide down, Louis takes
the hint, attempts to get up, Harry’s hands are back on his thighs, holding him there) “Wait.”
(Louis goes back to sitting on him) “Can I do something now?”
LOUIS: “What?”
HARRY: “This.” (fully slides down so he’s laying on the bed, Louis frozen awkwardly, crotch
near Harry’s face, knees on either side) “What I said I would do months ago.” (slowly kisses the
closest scar, Louis tenses but stays put, Harry proceeds to lay kisses on all the scars, no matter
how small, working his way up Louis’ thigh) “I love them all.” (lips on top of the ‘FAG’ scar,
lingers, whispers the next thing against it) “Like I love you.”
LOUIS: (hand on his mouth to keep himself together, eyes welling up, voice strained in his attempt
to keep a front) “Love you too, yeah, I guess, I mean, I don’t guess, I do, very much.” (Harry
smiles against Louis’ skin, continues his exploration slowly, patiently kissing and nipping and
licking briefly) “That uh…Maybe you should uh, not…”
HARRY: (looks up in worry) “Is it too much?”
LOUIS: (shaking his head furiously) “No. Not at all. Bit…” (face red) “That’ll uh…” (motions
clumsily at his crotch) “That will…make things happen.”
HARRY: (grins, looks down again) “Oh yeah?” (kisses at the border of Louis’ briefs, voice
hoarse) “Like what?”
LOUIS: “Like that?” (staring at the way his dick is obviously reacting, voice high-pitched in mild
panic) “Like what’s happening right now.”
HARRY: (carefully places his first kiss on the actual cotton material, at the very edge of Louis’
slowly growing bulge) “This?”
LOUIS: (whispered) “Yeah. It’ll—I’m—It’ll get bigger.”
HARRY: (chuckles) “That’s what it tends to do, I think.” (places a kiss fully on Louis’ crotch) “In
these kinds of situations…” (Louis bites his lip) “Can I?”
LOUIS: (distracted) “Hm?”
HARRY: (eyes dilated, horny) “Can I try?”
LOUIS: “Yeah, yeah!” (catches himself) “Wait. Try…what, exactly?”

Darling
Chapter 110: Darling
(cont. from chapter 109)
LOUIS: (nervous, looking at Harry before averting his eyes, shyly) "Try like? Uh, like real..."
HARRY: (caressing his lower back) "Only if it's something that doesn't stress you out. Only if
you want to."
LOUIS: (immediately) "I want to!" (hesitating) "I think." (more confident) "No, I want to. I
definitely want to."
HARRY: "You can always change your mind half-way through."
LOUIS: "Why would I?"
HARRY: "For whatever reason. If you ever feel uncomfortable. At any time. You can always
change your mind and say stop and we'll stop. This isn't like a contract."
LOUIS: "It's sounding like it..."
HARRY: "I don't care if it is. I'd rather risk sounding like an iTunes agreement than watch you go
through something you obviously don't enjoy."
LOUIS: "Why wouldn't I enjoy it?"
HARRY: "Who knows? A million factors. Sometimes it's just the time of day, or not the right
mood, or not the right environment. It's not a big deal."
LOUIS: "Then why are we talking about it?"
HARRY: "It's not big deal if one day you don't feel up for it. It is a big deal if you feel like you
have to—if I make you feel like that."
LOUIS: "You don't."
HARRY: "Good." (smiles) "I just wanted you to know that we can stop whenever."
LOUIS: "And that goes for you too?"
HARRY: "Yes. If I'm not up for it, I'll tell you. We're supposed to talk to each other."
LOUIS: "I like that. The talking. I like the idea of talking."
HARRY: "Good." (a pause, slowly) "Do you want to stop?"
LOUIS: "No. Do you?"
HARRY: "No."
LOUIS: "Ok, ok..." (whispered, lip bit) "Then uh...show me?" (another pause) "How... Please?"
HARRY: (fingers fiddling with the edge of Louis' boxers, near the scars) "Gladly." (slowly places
another kiss on top of Louis' underwear, still looking up at him to check for any signs of
discomfort) "All I want to do..." (kisses getting closer to the bulge, running up and down on it) "Is
make you feel as amazing as you make me feel."
LOUIS: "But I don't—"
HARRY: (shakes his head to interrupt, lips flush against Louis' boner, breath hot) "Every single
day, every single thing..." (a fleeting kiss on the boxers) "You don't know how you satisfy me,
baby." (a longer kiss) "And I wanna show you..."
LOUIS: (sighed, eyes fluttering shut briefly, opening up lidded and dilated) "Show me what?"
HARRY: (bites the cotton, pulls on it with his teeth, Louis' moans softly inside his mouth, stiff in
posture and stiff inside his boxers) "Show you that it's completely okay to do stuff like this."
LOUIS: (breathing faster through his nose, somewhat frozen and frustrated with himself) "I don't
know what stuff—how—"
HARRY: (tutting) "You don't have to. We'll learn together." (hands slide down Louis' back to cup
his ass, his mouth opens slightly) "You don't have to have a plan for everything. We're playing,
exploring, improvising..."
LOUIS: (unsure) "Improvising, yeah... I'm uh more of a by-the-book kind of guy, the Kamasutra
type, move here, leg there, arm over your head like a flamingo, now stand on your hands and slap
me with your ass, you know?" (Harry chuckles against the boxers, Louis smiles at the sound) "I
memorize the rules so I don't feel helpless or lost."
HARRY: "Well, we'll try something new then." (eyes glittering) "An adventure."
LOUIS: (to himself) "Yeah, that's what scares me."
HARRY: (nuzzles his nose and mouth against the boxers) "You can stop me just by sitting up."
(pulls away, looks at Louis) "It's that simple. You have control over this. You can move whenever
you want." (stops touching Louis' butt) "I won't ever hold you here against your will."
LOUIS: (nodding at first fast and jerky then much calmer) "I wanna try. If you teach me. If it's
good for you too. It must be good for both of us."
HARRY: "Of course." (shuffles his body awkwardly until Louis gets the hint and sits up a little so
Harry can sneak his hands towards the front, Louis still straddling his torso) "Sorry." (fingers
graze the top of Louis' boxers) "I'm super smooth, as you can see."
LOUIS: "Very."
HARRY: "Can I help you out of these?"
LOUIS: (blinks two times) "The—oh, uh..."
HARRY: (pulls his hands away) "Or—or not. Not at all."
LOUIS: "No, sure, yeah, you can. I'm sorry. That's obvious, duh."
HARRY: "We don't have to. We can do with if you want."
LOUIS: (palms his face) "This is so awkward." (grumbled) "Yeah, take 'em off, get it over with."
HARRY: (frowns) "I don't—"
LOUIS: "I meant the surprise, get the surprise over it."
HARRY: "What surprise?"
LOUIS: "My..." (groans) "You know you've never seen it before."
HARRY: (concerned) "Is there a surprise?"
LOUIS: "This is so awkward."
HARRY: "I'm making it awkward."
LOUIS: "I don't think you're the one. I'm doing plenty myself." (notices Harry's sadness) "I think
we both are."
HARRY: (breathy chuckle) "Yeah, maybe."
LOUIS: "We're both nervous."
HARRY: "Maybe...maybe I rushed it too much? I jumped in too soon? It's too forced. Not sexy
enough."
LOUIS: "No, stop that. You didn't." (mumbled) "Don't give me blue balls again."
HARRY: (amused) "What?"
LOUIS: "It's good. It's time. It's a good time... I'm good. I promise. It's just..." (rolling his eyes)
"The reveal and all." (flushed) "I'm not as big as you, you should know... I'm preparing you to be
whelmed."
HARRY: (short laugh) "Is anyone as big as me?"
LOUIS: "As I." (smacks him in the forehead) "And don't make it worse."
HARRY: "I'm sorry." (quieter) "I'm sorry. Let's just... get back into this."
LOUIS: "I'm sorry too. For ruining your mood."
HARRY: "Don't be." (smiles endearingly) "This made it better. I'm not the only one panicking
about not doing it right."
LOUIS: "Should we both be panicking?"
HARRY: "It's a very us thing to do."
LOUIS: (looks away, focusing on the pillow next to Harry's hair) "It's a very me thing to do—like
with the kissing."
HARRY: (hands sliding away, looks at Louis, serious) "I don't want this to look like a
requirement. I'm attracted to you. I crave you, all of you, your body, your mind... but this is not a
requirement. We do not have to do this to check it off the list."
LOUIS: "We do."
HARRY: "No."
LOUIS: "Maybe not the list you're thinking about. But another one, the list of things we can do
with each other and feel safe... the list of things I wanna share with you. I wanna check it off that
list. I want this to be one of those things. I've been thinking about it for a while."
HARRY: (pauses, eventually nods, whispers) "I'll be brave then since you're being brave. I'll take
charge. I'll take care of you."
LOUIS: (cocks his head sideways, confused) "How?"
HARRY: (gulps) "Like this." (one of his hands pulls Louis' waistband back just enough so his
other one slides inside the boxers) "This..."
LOUIS: "Oh."
HARRY: "Only if—"
LOUIS: "Keep going."
HARRY: "Yeah?" (slowly cups Louis properly, Louis inhales sharply, hums something that
sounds like Harry's name) "Still yeah?"
LOUIS: (voice shaky) "Yeah, very yeah."
HARRY: (slides his hand up once to feel him fully, audibly excited and nervous) "God, this
is...I'm...this... Is this...?"
LOUIS: "It is." (breathy chuckle, relief) "...I know. It's...I know."
HARRY: "Big moment."
LOUIS: "Big, eh?"
HARRY: (rolling his eyes) "Average."
LOUIS: (choked snort) "I'll bring out the fireworks."
HARRY: (laughs back) "I'll provide my own if this keeps going this way." (Louis laughs again)
"Okay..." (takes a deep breath, slowly maneuvers Louis out of the boxers and drags the boxers
under Louis' balls, looks at him fully exposed, stunned) "Okay, wow, okay."
LOUIS: (breathless) "Ta da?"
HARRY: "Nice." (gulps, eyes clouding in lust, licking his lips) "So nice."
LOUIS: "Ten out of ten?"

HARRY: "Are we talking inches or centime—" (Louis smacks him) "I tease. It's...it's..."
LOUIS: "It's a dick."
HARRY: (hasn't pulled himself together yet, enthralled) "That it is."
LOUIS: "Did you expect something different?"
HARRY: (squeaky) "Nope."
LOUIS: "Yup. Just, just my—" (Harry slowly guides his lips closer to Louis' shaft, Louis quiets
down, wide-eyed) "Oh..."
HARRY: (an inch away) "Okay?"
LOUIS: (shoulders move up with his breath, exhales) "Okay." (Harry gently places a kiss on the
tip, lips lingering on the sensitive head, opening slightly, Louis gasps) "Okay—yeah, this...this is
very okay. All for this. Seal of approval. I'm gonna—stop talking now. You do you. And me. Do
me. Do you—" (hands over his mouth, mumbled) "Shutting up."
HARRY: (smiles as he opens his lips further, slowly putting the head in his mouth, tongue trailing
around it in slow circles, Louis hiccups short breaths and alternates them with hums of shy
approval, Harry pulls away, grabs one of Louis' hands and puts it on his own hair) "Here, love..."
LOUIS: (gently tugging Harry's curls) "Sure?" (Harry nods) "I don't wanna...disrespect you. Or,
or make this seem like...like a dirty thing. I don't want you to feel dirty about it."
HARRY: (pulling his mouth away) "Do you feel dirty?"
LOUIS: "I feel good/"
HARRY: (lays his palm on Louis' one on his hair) "When we're here, in the bedroom, just the two
of us, we can do whatever we want—whatever makes us happy—with absolutely no judgment to it.
I don't care what anyone out there can say. It doesn't matter to me. If I like it and if you like it, we
do it. That's all."
LOUIS: (awed) "Fair."
HARRY: (closes in on Louis' member again, murmurs, lips touching Louis' sensitive skin, trailing
dribbles of saliva throughout) "Do you like it?"
LOUIS: "Yeah... A lot. I'm letting myself like it."
HARRY: (places wet, warm kisses all over) "That's enough for me then." (drags his lips up Louis'
shaft to put them around Louis again and hollow his cheeks while sucking) "Mm." (lips comes off
with a pop) "I have fantasized about this..." (tongue out, grazing the bottom of Louis' head, tracing
the thick vein under gently, teasingly) "For a millennia." (Louis moans, nodding wantonly) "And
you look..." (shakes his head in awe) "You look incredible, like this."
LOUIS: "Awkward?"
HARRY: "Free."
LOUIS: (between pants, grinning) "You don't wanna know what I've fantasized about."
HARRY: "Show me..." (tongue dips in the salty slit while his darkened eyes lock on Louis', voice
lewd) "Make me?"
LOUIS: (threads his fingers deeper in Harry's hair, yanks lightly, while Harry smirks and takes
him in properly, fully, all the way to the end, nose against Louis' freshly-shaved groin) "Oh!"
(voice harsh and lower pitched) "Oh, fuck." (Harry bobs his head up and down a few times, deep-
throating every time) "F—fuck, babe, mmm—perf—perfect."
HARRY: (pulls back, lightly trails his teeth teasingly up) "I won't bite like her..." (Louis hisses)
"I've learned better."
LOUIS: (has to try very hard to be coherent) "Not what I wanna...Oh, like that—yeah. Not... Not
what I...I don't wanna...Haz, I...No thinking about her right now."
HARRY: "What do you want to think about?" (tongue drawing shapes) "Hm?"
LOUIS: (moaned) "You." (shudders in bliss) "Just you."
HARRY: "Look at me then."
LOUIS: "Hm?"
HARRY: (seductively) "Look at me."
LOUIS: (raises his eyes from Harry's lips to Harry's eyes) "I am."
HARRY: "Keep your eyes on me."
LOUIS: (breathless) "Ok."
HARRY: "So I know you're into it."
LOUIS: "I am. I am..."
HARRY: "So I know you're not regretting it." (smaller) "Me."
LOUIS: "I regret every day I could have done this with you that I didn't." (hand slides from
Harry's hair to cup his face, caress it) "That's the only thing I regret."
HARRY: (the most insecure he has been that night, almost silent) "You like it?"
LOUIS: "I do, babe."
HARRY: (nods, louder) "You trust me?"
LOUIS: "I do."
HARRY: "You trust me to keep you safe?"
LOUIS: "Yeah..."
HARRY: "If you let go, I'll catch you. You're safe. You can let go with me."
LOUIS: (not quite clear but nods nonetheless) "Okay, yeah. I know that."
HARRY: (places his hands under Louis' thighs to raise Louis to his knees) "I want you to have all
the control."
LOUIS: (stunned, stopped) "But—"
HARRY: "Trust me."
LOUIS: (watches as Harry lays back on the pillows, mouth wide, hands pushing Louis toward
him) "Are you sure?"
HARRY: "A hundred percent."
LOUIS: "Okay..." (to himself) "Wow, okay..." (slowly moves forward, guiding his member gently
into Harry's mouth, stops a few inches in) "All?" (Harry nods, Louis nods back, slides a few more
inches, bites his lip to contain a moan) "Like this?" (another nod) "All the way?" (pushes himself
all the way into Harry's mouth until he hits the back of Harry's throat, Harry gags, Louis' pulls
back immediately) "I'm sorry—I don't know..."
HARRY: (squeezes Louis' thighs reassuringly) "You were doing perfect."
LOUIS: "But—"
HARRY: "It's part of it. It's hot."
LOUIS: "You're not hurt?"
HARRY: "Not at all. I love it. I wanna see you let go, lose control, do what you want for once
without worrying."
LOUIS: (nods eagerly before hesitating) "But if I hurt you, you'll tell me to stop?"
HARRY: "Immediately."
LOUIS: "Okay."
HARRY: (smacks Louis' butt) "Until then, no worries, okay? Give me everything you have."
(move this hands up Louis' thighs to rest on Louis' ass again) "I'm right here to guide you."
LOUIS: "Alright." (takes a deep breath, puts himself in again) "God, it's tight!" (this time slowly
moves in and out until of Harry's mouth, erratically at first before establishing a rhythm) "So warm
and—" (hums) "Good, feels good." (underneath his breath) "Very hot." (grabs the head of the bed
with one hand to brace himself, picks up the pace, moving in and out faster, wet sounds fill the air
among Harry's hums and Louis' own spit out curses and moans) "Fu..." (grumbles the rest) "Not
gonna last long, warning you—mhm, it's so good and shit--!" (jerks his hips forward before pulling
them back and slowing down by a lot) "I've never done this before—my first."
HARRY: (pulls back to growl) "Look at me."
LOUIS: (notices he has his eyes shut, opens them with difficulty, looks down while thrusting into
Harry's mouth) "Yeah, okay, yeah, shit, yeah...Your lips." (moany, pitchy with sharp breaths) "So
red, so soft, god—Haz, 'm not gonna last long this time."
HARRY: (almost incoherent with his full mouth) "S'okay..."

LOUIS: (looks back at Harry's tented boxers, curses to himself) "You're so hard."
HARRY: (chuckles breathily, hums sloppily) "Yeah..."
LOUIS: "You like doing this?"
HARRY: "Yeah..."
LOUIS: (squeezes his eyes shut, starts ramming into Harry's mouth, less controlled) "I can't—
oh." (tries to open his eyes, gives up, one hand still on the bed frame, the other leaves Harry's curls
to reach behind and touch Harry's hard-on over splotched boxers) "I want you..." (obvious he's
scrambling to keep up with everything, overwhelmed, frustrated sob) "Goddammit, shit, I want all
of you. So bad."
HARRY: (balances him, pulls his mouth away, Louis whimpers at the loss of contact, hips still
thrusting emptily a few times) "Hey, hey, Lou, darling." (Louis looks at him, eyes opening, wet with
pleading, desire and desperation) "One thing at a time, okay? We can do it all—we will—but,
let's..." (another exhale, smiling) "Let's not film a porno on our first night."
LOUIS: (blushes, panting, chuckling) "Fair. Sorry..." (straightens, stops touching Harry's pants,
puts both hands on the bed frame, thighs quivering lightly) "I'm just so horny. I don't know what to
do with myself."
HARRY: (smirking) "I know. I love it." (licking a stripe on the underside of Louis) "What do you
have for me, babe?"
LOUIS: (looks down at the show Harry is giving him, breath hitching) "Haz."
HARRY: (opens his mouth wide, tongue out, Louis smirks back, Harry licks his lips before
provoking) "I wanna taste you."
LOUIS: "So I can...?"
HARRY: (moaned) "Oh yeah."
LOUIS: (grabbing his cock and sliding it on Harry's tongue and lips, across his wet, blushed
cheeks) "Right here?"
HARRY: (whispered) "Anywhere you want."
LOUIS: "And you won't feel dirty?"
HARRY: "I'll be dirty." (frustrated with not being able to fully mouth Louis, as Louis keeps
teasing him by pulling away) "I'll be as dirty as you want me to be."
LOUIS: "Brace yourself then." (finally sliding back into Harry's mouth, sighing in pleasure)
"Because it'll be a lot." (starts thrusting again, much faster this time, no longer holding back, no
signs of insecurity, just hot, feverish need) "Oh, this might hospitalize me, I swear." (chuckles,
pants, whimpers, moans) "So hot." (squeezes his eyes shut, places his forehead on his arm,
fingernails digging into the railing) "Almost..." (wheezy) "You sure?" (Harry slaps his ass as
confirmation) "Ah--shit, babe--"
HARRY: (notices Louis' is throbbing, pulls his mouth away, replaces it with his hand, jerking
Louis' off) "Open your eyes!"
LOUIS: (almost collapsed against the frame, barely manages to squint to look) "Harr..."
HARRY: (not stopping once) "You wanted dirty, right?"
LOUIS: (moans loudly, nods into his arm) "Yes, ple--please."
HARRY: (smirks, squeezes his fist tighter, Louis jerks froward, squeaks) "Good boy."
LOUIS: "I'm gonna..."
HARRY: (voice extra low and husky) "Do it?"
LOUIS: (whimpered) "Sure?"
HARRY: "Do. It."
LOUIS: "Ok, ok...ok...god, Haz."
HARRY: "Eyes!"
LOUIS: (dry sobbing, whiny) "God!"
HARRY: "Come on then, babe."
LOUIS: (entire body starts shaking as his orgasm hits) "I'm...fuck!" (streaks of jizz spurt out,
landing on Harry's red cheeks and sweaty forehead and smirking lips) "Oh...oh--enough, wait--
Harr, enough." (shuddering in aftershock as Harry keeps jerking him off a few more times when
he's super sensitive) "I'm done, I'm done."
HARRY: (reaches for a discarded shirt close by, wipes his face on it) "Good?"
LOUIS: "I'm sorry."
HARRY: "What for?"
LOUIS: "Doing that. I shouldn't have...on your face--I shouldn't have."
HARRY: "I wanted you to."
LOUIS: (bites his lip, guilty) "I couldn't help--"
HARRY: "No. Don't." (Louis shuts up, Harry smiles at him, fond) "Come here." (shuffles himself
up to sit on the bed again, back against the headboard while Louis falls into his arms, limp and out
of breath) "My sweet boy." (kisses his temple, rubs his back) "My brave boy."
LOUIS: "That..."
HARRY: (whispered) "Don't apologize."
LOUIS: (coming down) "No, that was... I don't know what that was." (resting his head on Harry's
chest, nods once to himself, smiles) "But I know want to do it again..."
HARRY: (caressing his hair, chuckling) "I think the word is amazing."
LOUIS: (notices, wiggles his bottom) "What's this in your pants, Mr. Styles?"
HARRY: (smirking) "I don't know what you're talking about, Tomlinson."
LOUIS: (grinding down on Harry's boner, seductive) "Don't know, huh?"
HARRY: "Don't—ah, know, yes." (hums as Louis pushes down) "Absolutely no idea."
LOUIS: "Could it be..." (rocking back and forth) "Related to me perhaps?"
HARRY: (places his hands on Louis' waist) "Maybe. Maybe related to your perfect bum being so
close to it."
LOUIS: "Ah..." (leans down to kiss Harry's mouth softly, tugging at his bottom lip) "Is this
helping?"
HARRY: "Mhmm..." (steals another kiss) "If by helping you mean, helping it stay like that."
LOUIS: "That's the goal."
HARRY: (pushing his thumbs in Louis' hipbones, purring) "I have another one in mind."
LOUIS: "That so?"
HARRY: "Oh yeah."
LOUIS: "Do you need my help?"
HARRY: (moving with Louis) "I need you, baby boy."
LOUIS: "How so?"
HARRY: "I need you to tell me what you want..."
LOUIS: (smirking) "I want you to wet these boxers I'm sitting on." (leaning in to lick Harry's
earlobe and kiss his neck) "Like you did earlier today."
HARRY: (moans, excited) "Finish? You want me to finish?"
LOUIS: "Can you? Like this? Without me touching you?"
HARRY: (practically humping Louis) "Ye—yeah, I can. If you keep doing this I can."
LOUIS: (sucking on Harry's neck, Harry hisses in part pleasure, part pain) "Can you do it on
command?"
HARRY: "Yeah, shit—yeah—if you want, whatever you want."
LOUIS: "So if I ask, you'll—"
HARRY: "Yeah, I can...anytime now, I can. If you want I can already."

LOUIS: "If I want, huh?" (giving Harry another sensual kiss, provokingly lazy despite Harry's
attempt to deepen the kiss) "Implying I can stop you?"
HARRY: "Mhmm..."
LOUIS: "You can hold back..." (bounces on Harry's lap a few times without proper rubbing) "I
don't know about that, you seem quite close."
HARRY: "Mhm, I—I—" (gulps, his eyes run down Louis' naked, sweaty body and his softening,
pink member, he exhales) "I can hold."
LOUIS: (crawls down Harry's body so his face is parallel with Harry's boxers, looks up) "Hold?"
HARRY: (holding his breath, can barely form words) "Mhmm."
LOUIS: (kisses the outline of Harry's boner on top of boxers, now swollen, almost pulsing) "You
sure about that?"
HARRY: "Please."
LOUIS: (smug) "What was that?"
HARRY: "Don't—don't tease me this bad, please..."
LOUIS: "But you look so fucking sexy, babe." (Harry nods wantonly, still gripping the sheets, his
entire body tense, Louis spreads his palm on Harry's chest) "So beautiful. God, you're making all
my dream comes true right now, you know that?"
HARRY: "What else?"
LOUIS: (distracted by Harry's body, dragging his blunt nails lightly down Harry's sides, watching
Harry react to his touch with hungry eyes) "Hmm?"
HARRY: "What else can I do? What else do you want me to do, baby?"
LOUIS: (caught off guard by the request) "I uh..."
HARRY: "What have you always fantasized about?" (flustered) "How do you want me to do it?
Where?"
LOUIS: "Uh...I uh..." (blushing, breathless) "I wanna maybe?" (slowly puts his hand under
Harry's underwear and wraps his fingers around Harry's base) "Is this—"
HARRY: "Louis!"
LOUIS: (pulls it out, whispered) "Is this okay?"
HARRY: "Yes." (thighs shaking, face hidden in the crook go his elbow, nodding but barely
speaking) "Tell me when..."
LOUIS: (stretches his fingers gingerly before wrapping them back, his small hand barely covers
any of Harry's length) "You're ready?" (Harry moans in response, throbs in Louis' hand, Louis
gives him a light squeeze) "I don't know if I'll ever get used to how intense this is..."
HARRY: (rocking his body into Louis' hand with soft undulations without noticing)
"You...will...uhh, you will—all the time, we can do it...oh, all the time. Until you do..."
LOUIS: (nods, hasn't moved his hand up or down yet) "Cum, babe—" (he has barely finished the
word before Harry's load shoots out, the first hitting Louis in the chest, followed by smaller,
dribbles all over Louis' fingers and Harry's stomach) "Wow, shit!"
HARRY: (shaking all over with the orgasm, thrusting erratically in Louis' fist, moaning through
his lips as he rides it out) "Thankyouthankyouthankyou."
LOUIS: (experimentally detaches his hand, flexes it as he observes the sticky fluids on it, shocked)
"That was wild. That was a lot of it too."
HARRY: (laughs breathlessly) "Been saving since the start of our relationship." (Louis smacks
him in the chest with the dirty hand) "Ew, get that away!"
LOUIS: "Ew, baby-juice, ew." (purposely wiping his hand all over, spreading out the few drops on
Harry's chest into a huge smear) "That's what you get."
HARRY: (amused) "For what?"
LOUIS: "For pretty much blowing every other experience I've had out of the water and now I'm
like—" (bursts into random sing-song to the tune of Aladdin) "A whole new world...A new
fantastic thing to wank to. People telling you no, when your really have to let go—" (Harry's
laughing in the background) "Or that you'll go back to puuuuuussy."
HARRY: "This is new..."
LOUIS: "Think of me, when this comes on in the park."
HARRY: (smiles, eyes drop down to Louis' thighs) "Think of me, and this, when you look at these
and see anything but beautiful." (thumb runs over one of Louis' scars lovingly) "You're the whole
package, darling. Every part of you makes it perfect. Every part of you is worth any amount of
pining."
LOUIS: (taken aback with emotion, struggling to keep a neutral face) "Don't be cheesy." (waving
the sticky hand) "I've had enough of your dairy for a day."
HARRY: "I'm being truthful. I'm telling you the truth every other person has denied you."
LOUIS: (jumps of the bed, strips his boxers completely off, stretches) "I think a bath is needed
because I shat myself hearing that."
HARRY: "Hopeless romantic."
LOUIS: (almost out of the room, biting his lip) "You joining or what?"
Bubble
Chapter 111: Bubble
Scene 1
HARRY: (outside the Disney hotel, early morning, pacing around the parking lot and smoking,
phone in one ear) “Bad time or good time?”
ED: (laughs) “Good time. Hi, bud.”
HARRY: “Has been a while, thought I’d call.”
ED: “About time. Your fanboy roommate only texts me five times a day. You’ve been slacking.”
HARRY: “He does?”
ED: “Yup. Occasionally. Randomly. He’s an oddball that one. I expected much more douche in his
ingredients but he’s all dork.”
HARRY: (smiling) “That he is. Once you get underneath his layers.” (chuckles in the pause that
follows) “Has he told you?”
ED: “About what? His sudden good mood? Yeah.”
HARRY: “The reason behind it.”
ED: “He quit drugs and booze. He’s healthy now. He’s doing yoga. Or so he says. And writing
songs—wait, I don’t think I should have told you that part. I think maybe that was a surprise.”
HARRY: “I didn’t know that…but no, I don’t care. I mean, has he told you anything else,
anything bigger than that.”
ED: “Bigger than quitting beer? What, he got ass or something?”
HARRY: “You could say that.”
ED: “Wait, he did?! He hasn’t told me this.”
HARRY: “I guess, he was waiting for me to tell you.”
ED: “Why? Are you his keeper now?”
HARRY: “Ed…”
ED: “What? Oh! Oh…wait, you…no.”
HARRY: “Yup.”
ED: (loud in excitement) “You!? You and him? You guys—oh fucking hell—Hunter, get in here. I
have got to tell roomies about this. We’ve been placing bets. We have a betting pool. Hunter! Sam!
How long?”
HARRY: “A bit.”
ED: “How long is a bit? Important details. We have bets. Money is being lost and won on the issue
of your squeezed dick.”
HARRY: “The what?” (shaking his head) “Never mind. A month. Around a month maybe.”
ED: “A month?! You didn’t tell me you got everything you wanted—the kid you’ve been pining
for for years, the one that you’ve cried about calling me, the reason you stopped clubbing and
drugs and got social—the one thing in your life—a month, you took a month?”
HARRY: (laughs lightly) “Yeah, well, I was in shock.”
ED: “Damn right. You should have been.”
HARRY: “I was… I am. Still. Somewhat. It was…” (sighs, inhales the cigarette, exhales) “It was
sudden and overwhelming and glorious. I can’t even tell you.”
ED: “Yes, apparently so because you didn’t tell me. I am so mad at you.”
HARRY: “Don’t be.”
ED: “Why didn’t he tell me?”
HARRY: “He wanted me to have someone.”
ED: “Someone what, to fool?”
HARRY: “To shock. To tell. He told everyone. He told Zayn.”
ED: “He told Zayn? He’s out now? How much have I missed, god. That’s it. I’m moving to
Orlando. I cannot bear being this behind on news. Was I living under a rock?”
HARRY: “You were living in a different state. Louis is…with me. We’re together.”
ED: “Not out?”
HARRY: “I guess, out. He hasn’t…we haven’t talked about that one in specific. He says he’s my
boyfriend and he’s told the gang so that’s all I can ask for really. That’s all I need. I was ready to
do without so I’m not gonna be pushing for reforms so early on.”
ED: “This is huge.”
HARRY: “It is.”
ED: “For him, it’s really huge, H. It’s insanely huge.”
HARRY: “Yeah, thanks, I know.”
ED: “He’s…new to this.”
HARRY: “I know, Ed. I’m here, remember?”
ED: “I’m just saying, no need to get pissy.”

HARRY: “No need to tell me how my boyfriend is handling being my boyfriend.”
ED: “H.”
HARRY: “Sorry. I don’t know. I’m sorry. Go ahead.”
ED: “You know I wanna help, right? You know I’m completely done with you and all I wanna do
—“
HARRY: “I know. I know. That wasn’t even in question.”
ED: “I’m friends with him.”
HARRY: “Oddly enough.”
ED: “It’s a good thing. I mean, I know it’s messed up—how our group works and all the
interrelated, Zayn bullshit.”
HARRY: “What does Zayn have to do with this?”
ED: “Nothing, nothing. Jeez, still ruffled about that.”
HARRY: “Me? You brought up Zayn when he had nothing to do with the conversation and I’m
the ruffled one?”
ED: “Harry.”
HARRY: “What?”
ED: “We’re not fighting.”
HARRY: “We’re not.”
ED: “I just said I know that there’s history. In the friend group. Not just Zayn. Everyone. We’re all
interconnected. And I know it’s weird for you when I say I’m friends with him but all this, it’s a
good thing. We’re all on your side. Both of yours, the side of your relationship. We’ve put aside
fights because we’ve seen you want this for so long and now you have it, you bet we’re gonna fight
to protect it.”
HARRY: “You won’t have to. I have it.”
ED: “I meant well—“
HARRY: “I know, Ed. I know. All of you do. But I think it’s best if…in the nicest way, you all
step off for a bit. I don’t want our love life to be the main plot line anymore. I know it’s been a big
deal in the group dynamics and everyone has an opinion on it—it’s great in a way—we’ve needed
that. We’ve asked for help…but now things are good. Things are solid and stable and I want this to
be me and him. I want us to figure it out on our own, make our own mistakes, find our own
solutions. I guess I want to be independent for a bit. I want to be enough for him and he for me.”
ED: (hums) “I think that’s big, H. I think that’s almost even bigger than Louis’ revelation.”
HARRY: (short chuckle) “I doubt that.”

ED: “No, no. It is. As someone who met you when you were sixteen and weepy, this is huge.”
HARRY: “What can I say, I finally grew up.”
ED: “You’re getting there.”
HARRY: “I’m glad you’re taking this well.”
ED: “I think it’d be ridiculous not to. We had a good run, Harry. We had it good and we relapsed a
few times but this is new now. New you. I’m proud.”
HARRY: “Don’t make me cry.”
ED: “I’ll try not to myself.” (laugh) “So formal. Like a graduation ceremony.”
HARRY: “Graduated to being a sane human being that doesn’t throw tantrums. Yay, me. At least
I have that degree on my resume.” (Ed is laughing, Harry sobers up) “Hey Ed.”
ED: “Mhmm.”
HARRY: “That offer for a visit still on a table?”
ED: “What, you?””
HARRY: “Me, in the city. Is that still a thing?”
ED: “Hell yeah, it is. Hunter’s been talking about it for ages. One word, he’ll have the air mattress
out, like he promised your boyfriend. Why? You have tickets already?”
HARRY: “No, no. But… I will. I’m thinking about it.”
ED: “Let us know. Give us a heads up so we kick Sam’s boyfriend out—too many gays, I know.
That’s what you get for living next to NYU.”
HARRY: “I’ll definitely let you know soon.”
ED: “Ok, yeah. Ok. Louis and I are gonna jam.”
HARRY: (hum) “Yeah, about that…don’t…”
ED: “Tell him? It’s a surprise? Oh ho ho, I think I know where this is going.”
HARRY: “I’m not sure you do.”
ED: “I have a couple of ideas! I should speed up that song I’m writing for you, huh?”
HARRY: “Yeah, maybe, maybe. But hey, don’t let him know, alright? It’s a bit of a thing right
now.”
ED: “Ok, but you’re coming, both of you.”
HARRY: “I’m coming.”
ED: (hesitation) “…Just you?”

HARRY: “We’ll see.”
ED: “Okay…but, but…H, is everything okay? Is this, what is this about?”
HARRY: “Nothing. It’s a random thing.”
ED: “A random thing…”
HARRY: “No butting in remember?”
ED: “Yeah, sure, but…so it’s a relationship thing.”
HARRY: “It’s a me thing. And I’ll figure it out on my own. I’ll let you know.”
ED: “Let him know too, alright? He has to know if it’s a big thing.”
HARRY: “Alright.”
ED: “Harry?”
HARRY: “Alright, I said.”
ED: “Stay sane, mate. Stay solid.”
HARRY: “I’m trying.”
Scene 2
LOUIS: (outside the hotel, phone on his ear, nails between his lips, nervous, voice too quiet at
first) “Mom?”
JOHANNAH: (clear she didn’t hear him) “Hello? Who is this hello?”
LOUIS: (clears his throat) “Mom, it’s me.”
JOHANNAH: (surprised audible in her voice) “Louis?”
LOUIS: “Hi, mom.”
JOHANNAH: “Louis, honey! Are you alright? Is everything alright?”
LOUIS: “I’m okay, yeah.”
JOHANNAH: “Where are you? Has something happened?”
LOUIS: (sad chuckle) “No, no. Not much. I’m home. Almost home.”
JOHANNAH: “The hotel?”
LOUIS: “Yeah. Kind of. I uh…different living arrangements kind of.”
JOHANNAH: “Okay… You’re okay though?”
LOUIS: (sniffling lightly) “I’m fine. I’m good. So good. I’m happy.”
JOHANNAH: “That’s good, honey.”
LOUIS: “I know.” (trailing off) “I know…” (catching himself) “How are the twins?”
JOHANNAH: “They’re all grown up. They crawl now. They get in lots of trouble. Like you used
to.”
LOUIS: (smiling to himself) “Mom, I might come home.”
JOHANNAH: “Home? When? Are things not well with the job?”
LOUIS: “No, they’re…smooth. I was just thinking of coming home. For Christmas. For my
birthday.”
JOHANNAH: “Oh.”
LOUIS: “Since I haven’t been in a while. I was thinking that.” (hurriedly) “If you guys are home
and not too busy. Are you going anywhere?”
JOHANNAH: “Not at all! We’ll be here.” (excited) “You should come. When should we expect
you? You can sleep in your old room. We haven’t changed it much. You’ll get to meet the babies.
Oh, they’ll love you!”
LOUIS: (chuckles) “Yeah, I bet I’ll love them too. But um…”
JOHANNAH: “Yes?”
LOUIS: “I’ve met someone.”
JOHANNAH: “That’s great, darling. Someone nice?”
LOUIS: “Yes, very. God, very. He’s a person, a man. He’s a boy. I…he’s… We’re together, me
and him.”
JOHANNAH: “Oh.”
LOUIS: “Yeah. I just thought…” (mumbling around his fingertips) “He’s British too and he’ll
probably fly home and I thought maybe…”
JOHANNAH: “He should visit.”
LOUIS: (brightens up) “Yeah?”
JOHANNAH: “Of course, he should. We should meet him. He sounds important—“
LOUIS: “He is! He’s so important.” (giddy) “He’s sweet and nice and—and he treats me so well.
He makes me so happy—you’ll like him. He’s great. He’s really great.” (running his hand through
his hair) “I’ll tell him tonight, ask him. He’ll be down, probably, so…” (chuckles) “So you better
mean it ‘cause, I’m serious and all.”
JOHANNAH: “I do mean it. Why would I not mean it, honey? You sound…different. We have to
meet this man who has brought this out in you. When will you come? When are you thinking?
How long can you stay?”
LOUIS: “We already took a break to visit Harry’s mom—that’s his name, by the way, Harry,
Harold, Hazza. That’s him. That’s my boy. But yeah, we took days off so I don’t know. I can’t stay
long. I’ll try for a week. I’ll try. I’ll ask and let you know.” (slight pause in conversation) “Mom?”
JOHANNAH: “You should have come then. You should have said hi when you were here. I
didn’t know you returned.”
LOUIS: (sadder) “I did.”
JOHANNAH: “We could have made a trip.”
LOUIS: “I know…” (sighs) “I know. I should have said something. I should have been better at
this, being a son thing. But I’m learning, ma. I’m doing better now. I meet a therapist—he’s
helping me with stuff. And I have Harry. I’m much better.”
JOHANNAH: (tearfully happy) “I can hear that. I’m so happy to hear that.”
LOUIS: “I’m happy too. And I’ll make it up to you, okay? In the upcoming years, I’ll make it up
to you. We’ll spend time. We’ll talk about stuff. I’ll visit and maybe you can visit.”
JOHANNAH: (fully crying now but silently) “The kids would love Disney.”
LOUIS: “Yes.” (wipes his own eyes) “And I’d get them backstage. Anywhere. I’d be the cool
older brother.”
JOHANNAH: “You’re already the cool older brother.”
LOUIS: “I’d be the good older brother then. The present one.”
Better
Chapter 112: Better
Scene 1: H In Therapy
CAROLINE: “Hi there.”
HARRY: (walking in) “Hello. How was your day?”
CAROLINE: “Always so polite. I should be asking you that. How are you?”
HARRY: (sitting, shrugs) “A mess.”
CAROLINE: “A bad mess?”
HARRY: “A mess of emotions, both good and bad and strong.” (sighs, puts his face in his hands)
“Just, just a mess.”
CAROLINE: “Long week then?”
HARRY: “Not really, I don’t think. Not much happened.” (not quite present, somewhat distracted)
“I spoke to my ex.”
CAROLINE: (jokingly) “Oh, ex-s always bring out the worst in us.”
HARRY: “Why do you say that?”
CAROLINE: “Well, all those negative emotions surrounding the break up become associated
with that article, ‘ex’. Saying it brings them to mind, and who you were with them, especially
during the end, since that’s the most fresh.”
HARRY: “I…I guess. I mean, I have… It’s tough to say with him. It’s not like it’s been a while.
We’ve been on talking terms. It’s not new.”
CAROLINE: “Amicable break-up?”
HARRY: (humorless chuckle) “Not at all. No. One of the worst, if anything.”
CAROLINE: “But?”
HARRY: “But we go over that. With a whole lot of crying and mistakes and stress and drama and
more mistakes, especially on my part, I can safely say I’m over that.”
CAROLINE: “How was speaking to him?”
HARRY: “Chill. I don’t know… He’s not…”
CAROLINE: “Not?”
HARRY: “Magical anymore. He’s not like…” (motions with his hands) “God in ginger form come
to rescue me from my sins.”
CAROLINE: (amused) “Was he ever that?”
HARRY: “Yeah.” (looking at the carpet) “At one point, he was everything to me. He could
control my emotions. He could make me happy in seconds…” (quieter, sadder) “Cry in seconds…
Angry, so angry. I was so angry towards the end of our relationship.”
CAROLINE: “Why’s that?”
HARRY: “I was jealous. I could see him drift away and it was killing me in jealousy. It’s like I
decided he was over me and then saw clues of him moving on everywhere and it left me helpless. I
was a zombie.”
CAROLINE: “How was breaking up?”
HARRY: “Horrible. I died. I died and got revived.”
CAROLINE: “Why do you say you died?”
HARRY: “I wouldn’t eat. I don’t remember eating. I don’t remember anything. I think I stayed in
bed for weeks. My legs felt weird when I got up to pee. I had no reason to live.”
CAROLINE: “Depression.”
HARRY: “I guess.”
CAROLINE: “How did you get out of that?”
HARRY: “Painfully.” (chuckles) “Slowly. Like learning to walk again. It was tough. I relapsed.”
CAROLINE: “How do you mean?”
HARRY: “Sometimes I…” (shakes his head) “I heard his voice and relapsed or found myself
drunk and needing him…”
CAROLINE: “That’s natural.”
HARRY: “I know. And when Louis came along, it somehow became worse.”
CAROLINE: “Your depression?”
HARRY: “No. My feelings towards Ed.”
CAROLINE: “Why is that, do you think?”
HARRY: “I was scared. Louis, my feelings for Louis, how quickly I got attached, what he made
me feel, it scared me. And it pushed me towards Ed because at least that pain I was familiar with. I
knew how to pine for Ed and how to get rejected and how to feel when rejected. It was all
practiced. Routine. I got over it quickly. And whenever I was hurt from Louis…”
CAROLINE: “Because of him?”
HARRY: “No, because of me. I… It was tough. I didn’t know… Things happened that hurt me, I
don’t blame either of us, but whenever that would happen, I’d turn towards Ed and I’d be self-
destructive because Ed’s pain would overshadow Louis’ pain. It would distract me. And Ed’s pain
I could handle.”
CAROLINE: “But at some point there was no competition anymore, right? Ed’s pain became no
pain and Louis’ pain became inevitable.”
HARRY: (nods) “Yeah, at some point I was using Ed like porn and… and other people too, I
guess.” (cringing) “I’m fucked up.”
CAROLINE: “Because you’ve made a few decisions based on lust? That’s not really a good
indicator of being effed up.”
HARRY: (curling his shoulders) “I don’t know. Many decisions. I don’t really trust my decision-
making skills ever since they led me to sleep with my ex at my sister’s wedding and have a kid
wear Louis’ clothes. I think I have proven—“
CAROLINE: “What? Proven what? That you need other people to make decisions for you?”
HARRY: “No!” (settles down) “No. No. Not anymore. I don’t want that anymore.”
CAROLINE: “What do you want?”
HARRY: (sad half-grin) “Pardoning. Probably. That’s probably why I come here. To hear
someone say I forgive you.”
CAROLINE: “I do forgive you, Harry. But I think you need someone else do that too.”
HARRY: “Louis?”
CAROLINE: “Yourself. I think it won’t matter what anyone says if you don’t believe it yourself.
And I think you’re not gonna be able to be happy about what you have until that happens.”
HARRY: (mumbled) “I don’t deserve what I have.”
CAROLINE: “What was that?”
HARRY: “Everything I have right now, amazing friends, an amazing boyfriend, all that… I don’t
deserve that.”
CAROLINE: “Why do you say that?”
HARRY: “I got here through lying and cheating and being a bastard of a person.”
CAROLINE: “Who did you lie to?”
HARRY: “People. I hurt people. I hurt Lou. I hurt him a lot.”
CAROLINE: “You didn’t know better.”
HARRY: “I did. He was struggling—”
CAROLINE: “He needed to figure it out himself first.”
HARRY: “That’s bullshit! All this himself, yourself, themselves thing is bullshit. Everyone’s
getting hurt. This happy ending is paved in blood and tears. I’m not meant to have it.”
CAROLINE: “Listen to yourself, Harry.”
HARRY: (wiping his eyes) “You’re right. I’m sorry. That was dramatic. I’m sorry.”
CAROLINE: “Aren’t happy endings earned? Isn’t the road to anything hard and bloody? It
wouldn’t be a destination if there wasn’t a journey towards it now, would it?”
HARRY: “…Yeah, yeah, I get that.”
CAROLINE: “But you wish there was less struggle.”
HARRY: “I wish there was less blood. I wish the blood wasn’t on my hands, his thighs. I wish I’d
kept him safe.”
CAROLINE: “He doesn’t seem to have minded taking a few hits. He considers them battle
wounds probably.”
HARRY: (cracks a smalls mile) “He’d probably use that exact terminology.”
CAROLINE: “He can take it. Do you think he can take it? Do you think he’s strong enough to
survive all that happened?”
HARRY: “He’s the strongest person I know. He’s survived much worst.”
CAROLINE: “He’s survived much worst. So he can survive this?”
HARRY: “Yes. He can. He has. He’s doing great. He’s been doing better every day.”
CAROLINE: “So what are you worried about?”
HARRY: “That I’ll ruin that.”
CAROLINE: “How?”
HARRY: “By not keeping up with him. Being stagnant, stuck in the past, sulking—like this—
while he moves forward, better and better every day, until one day…” (sniffles) “One day he
realizes I’m dragging him back and rightly cuts me off. And that’s the day he’ll be the one that got
away and I’ll suffer so bad. I won’t recover. I’ll regret everything. Which brings me back to here.
I’m here to avoid that.”
CAROLINE: “A bit of a vicious cycle, I think. Thinking about all these bad things to come is
making you sulk which in turn is gonna make the bad things to come.”
HARRY: “Yeah. Great. That’s great.”
CAROLINE: “I think we have to find a way to break that.”
HARRY: “How?”
CAROLINE: “Don’t you think you’re catastrophizing a little bit?”
HARRY: “What’s that?”
CAROLINE: “Thinking of the absolute worst scenario in a string of events that has yet to
happen?”
HARRY: “Yeah, that. I do that. With good things, I like to do that.”
CAROLINE: “Why do you think that is?”
HARRY: “Because I’m scared of nice things.”
CAROLINE: “Why?”
HARRY: “Don’t know, I’ve always been.”
CAROLINE: “Do you like nice things?”
HARRY: “I do.”
CAROLINE: “Do you want nice things to happen to you?”
HARRY: “I do. Everyone does.”
CAROLINE: “What’s scary about them?”
HARRY: “I…they should be reserved. For nice people. It seems like when a nice thing happens, a
universe is on your case, reviewing your file and seeing if you’re worthy of it, if you’re a nice
person. And if it finds that you’re not, that it mistakenly gave it to you, then… then it’ll take it
back.” (louder, more manic in his explanation now) “But of course, by then you’ll have gotten used
to it. You’ll have adopted it in your life and you’ll need it badly. You won’t feel complete without
it.”
CAROLINE: “I see. What might the universe in your resume that might change its mind?” (Harry
fidgets but doesn’t respond) “I don’t think the universe will hear us now and if it does, it would
find this stuff eventually anyway, right?”
HARRY: “I don’t know. I cheated.”
CAROLINE: “On your ex.”
HARRY: “Yes. I cheated. With my best friend. I made my best friend a horrible person, and he
was straight too. I made my straight best friend sleep with me.”
CAROLINE: “I think that was as much his choice as it was yours.”
HARRY: “He couldn’t say no to me. I’m good at that.”
CAROLINE: “At what?”
HARRY: “Being a manipulator. Getting people to do stuff. That would be there too, on the
resume. I’m a manipulative person.”
CAROLINE: “What else?”
HARRY: “I punched someone once. Really bad. I’m violent. That’s bad.”
CAROLINE: “Was it an accident?”

HARRY: “No. It was, well… I didn’t know how much damage I’d do and I didn’t mean to break
him… but I wanted him hurt. I wanted to hurt him. It was intentional, at least that.”
CAROLINE: “Cheating, manipulative, violent… It’s not looking to good.”
HARRY: (head down in shame) “And a failure.”
CAROLINE: “A failure?”
HARRY: “I failed school. I failed my relationship. I fail a lot of things.”
CAROLINE: “Is that something the universe can blame you on?”
HARRY: “And the drugs. I’ve done hard drugs. And I made someone—that Beau thing. And that.
All those.” (face in his hands) “God, it was worse than I thought.”
CAROLINE: (letting Harry breathe a few moments) “Well, now that we have that done. What
about the opposite?”
HARRY: “Hmm?”
CAROLINE: “The good stuff. The good deeds. What would the universe find in that column?”
HARRY: “I don’t…”
CAROLINE: “Oh come on, this universe of yours has to see both sides, right? I’m sure it has the
power to see nice stuff you’ve done too. Like?”
HARRY: “I uh…I love my mom.”
CAROLINE: “Good, that’s a good one.”
HARRY: “And my sister. My family. But that’s not really…”
CAROLINE: “I think that counts. It affects other people. You treat your family well. You make
them happy. Do you make anyone else happy?”
HARRY: “I don’t know… probably, my friends, maybe. I’m a good friend. I think. I’d be there for
them.”
CAROLINE: “Who have you been there for?”
HARRY: “Ed, a lot. Zayn. Friends back home, here. I’m good with that. With being there.
Listening.”
CAROLINE: “And Lou, can you remember anything good you’ve done with Lou?”
HARRY: (thinks on it for a bit) “Yeah. I’ve…I’ve been there when he’s been bad a couple of
times.”
CAROLINE: “Bad how?”
HARRY: “Drunk. Drugged. Bleeding. Sad. Angry. Lost. Needing people. Crying. He made a list
of the times I was there for him once, before our relationship started.” (small smile) “There were a
lot. Quite a few.”
CAROLINE: “Would you say there’s been more times you’ve done good than bad when it comes
to Louis?”
HARRY: “Um, uh… Probably. Yeah, probably. More. With good stuff, you do a lot, constantly.
In life. That’s why people stay together. You don’t think of those as much as you do them. You’re
supposed to, I mean. While bad stuff… it sticks out. It’s big, bigger in your mind. It gets stuck
there. It’s like, you’re always thinking about it.”
CAROLINE: “Would you say you did the bad things with malicious intent?”
HARRY: “Like, on purpose to hurt people?”
CAROLINE: “Yes. Did you want people to be hurt.”
HARRY: “No, of course not. If I had known—I should have known—but at the moment, I didn’t,
somehow.”
CAROLINE: “You know what they say, hindsight is twenty twenty. If you didn’t mean to hurt
people, if you were doing your best, should the universe punish you this bad?”
HARRY: “I should take responsibility for my mistakes.”
CAROLINE: “You should. And you have. You’re doing that. But that does not mean letting
yourself be abused by fate. It doesn’t mean you have to punish yourself in the name of the
universe. Learn from your mistakes but don’t make yourself miserable. Part of apologizing and
growing is finding out that you are a happier person that way. You deserve to be happy, don’t you
think?”
Scene 2: Lou-Lou In Therapy
LOUIS: (bouncing into the office, grin eating his face) "Jul, Jul, Jul, Jul." (almost jumps on the
couch) "You will never guess what happened."
JULIAN: (unfazed) ”You got laid."
LOUIS: (mouth closes) "No..."
JULIAN: "Oh? What then?"
LOUIS: "Well, I...kinda did. A little bit. I got sorta laid. If one may call…” (garbled) “Blewdwnjd
laid.”
JULIAN: “I’m sorry, what was that?”
LOUIS: “Things involving dicks.”
JULIAN: “Ah. That’s mighty specific.”
LOUIS: “You want specific, huh? You’re gonna added to the wank bank.”
JULIAN: “I’m straight and professional but yeah.”
LOUIS: “Then why ask?”
JULIAN: “To make sure that these dick activities are healthy and legal.”
LOUIS: “Oh, they’re legal alright. They are very legal and very consented to by me.”
JULIAN: (smiling) "So I was right."
LOUIS: "Sure, I mean, sorta.” (catches Julian’s grin) “What do you want, a medal? I’ll mail it to
you. I’ll send you a Hallmark card every time we do it.”
JULIAN: "And hello, the real you. I almost missed you what with the super-cheerful-you's
arrival.”
LOUIS: (pouts adorably) “I’m not cheerful."
JULIAN: "You skipped here."
LOUIS: "No. I did not. I sauntered here, suave and manly.”
JULIAN: "You called me 'Jul'."
LOUIS: "I always do that." (leaning back, comfortably) "We're bros now, Jul. We do that shit. We
should move these sessions to the bar.”
JULIAN: “That’s an idea. But I thought you quit alcohol.”
LOUIS: “I’ve quit toxic drinking. I’m still open to a beer with friends.”
JULIAN: “Alright, so you’re not cheerful, we’ve established. What are you then?”
LOUIS: “Don’t know. Relieved. Happy. But in a relieved way.”
JULIAN: “Relieved about what?”
LOUIS: “Being able to do it.”
JULIAN: “The not-sex?”
LOUIS: “Yes, being able to be sexual—super relieved. It was insanely awkward, as awkward as it
was pleasurable but I managed. I held my own. And I did not suffer an attack of self-loathing as a
result. Or a panic attack.”
JULIAN: “Did you expect a panic attack?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “Maybe. I used to have those at times.”
JULIAN: “What times particularly?”
LOUIS: “When I was scared.”
JULIAN: “Scared of what? What could scare a bad-ass like you?”

LOUIS: “Don’t do that.” (Julian raises his eyebrows) “Don’t say stuff like that. Makes people feel
like it’s a shocking thing to be scared. Everyone is scared. It’s not a gendered thing, or a
personality-thing. We’re all scared.”
JULIAN: “Well-said. Touche. I apologize. What are you scared off?”
LOUIS: “I…well, in those situations, I was scared of people knowing.” (very short pause,
confident) “About my cuts. I cut, I told you that, that first day. I used to cut.” (shakier) “My thighs.
They’re all…all here.” (gently touches his pants close to his thighs) “And I was embarrassed. And
I was scared people would find out.”
JULIAN: “And do what?”
LOUIS: “Feel bad for me, I guess.”
JULIAN: “Do you think they had the right to?”
LOUIS: “Probably. It’s a sad thing. But—but no, really. I don’t feel bad for my friend and I don’t
think we’re looking for pity. Understanding maybe, but not pity. And I guess, well, it’s like you…”
JULIAN: “Like me?”
LOUIS: “People who expected me to be this way, this person—this strong, cool, unbreakable,
cold-hearted, indifferent to others, tough person. The cuts didn’t fit with that character. I was
scared that if they saw, they’d see past me. They’d think every other part of me was a lie, a front.”
JULIAN: “Was it?”
LOUIS: “…I don’t know. But if I start questioning what’s real and what’s not I might end up with
nothing. I might discover no part of me is real. What will that mean? That I don’t exist? That I have
never at any point lived life like me? I don’t know which would be more depressing.”
JULIAN: “Do you think you right now are real?”
LOUIS: “I’m getting realer by the day. I’m doing stuff I want to do—I’ve wanted to do for ages. I
think that’s all I can ask for at the moment. I hope that’s enough.”
JULIAN: “I think it will be. Did you have a panic attack showing Harry that side of you?”
LOUIS: “Which one? The scars?” (Julian nods) “No, because I eased my way into it. He knew
before he touched and he touched before he saw.”
JULIAN: “I see.”
LOUIS: “And he understood before all that. He understands me. He doesn’t hold it against me.”
JULIAN: “Do you hold it against yourself?”
LOUIS: (thinking about it, smiling softly) “Not anymore to be quite honest. It doesn’t sting
anymore. It’s something I’ve done but—but just that.”
JULIAN: “So you didn’t have a panic attack. What did you feel? Right after? Instead of self-
loathing, like you said.”
LOUIS: “Nothing. Good. I felt good.”
JULIAN: “About?”
LOUIS: “Life, the relationship, myself. I felt good about all of it. The action, the result. At peace.”
JULIAN: “Were you surprised about that?”
LOUIS: “Yeah. A bit.”
JULIAN: “What did you think you’d feel like?”
LOUIS: “Guilty.”
JULIAN: “Because…”
LOUIS: “Because it was, you know, gay. I thought I’d feel off about that. And I do feel
something, like it’s new, unprecedented, but I’m not guilty. I don’t regret it. I don’t feel like I
shouldn’t have done it. I have that right. It doesn’t harm anyone. It’s crazy to deny myself that right
for absolutely no good reason, you know?” (Julian nods in agreement) “So I won’t. I’ll do it and
I’ll enjoy it.”
JULIAN: “I’m happy to hear that since when you came to me, it was the priority of concerns.”
(Louis laughs and rolls his eyes) “It was the one thing you needed solved and now, now it seems
like you have a start and a map. Are you less worried about it now? Is it on your mind less?”
LOUIS: “I’m not worried at all. He said we’d do it again. It’s a practice thing. It was awkward,
sure, but—” (in awe of himself) “But there was a period of time when I didn’t think I could ever
kiss a guy without dying and now, with all the nerves and talk and embarrassment, it’s still so big. I
don’t care what others thing. It’s big for me.”
JULIAN: “That it is. That’s all that matters. What you feel about it. And what he feels. You two
are the only people involved so your opinions are the only ones that count.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, and it was already much better than anything else I’d done before. I felt better
during and after, definitely better than girl sex so I am not worried. Even if it didn’t improve I
wouldn’t be worried. I can have him like this forever.”
JULIAN: (smiles) “A bit smitten, aren’t you?”
LOUIS: (leaning back) “Yeah… Wouldn’t you be? If this was your first time touching someone in
like…I don’t even wanna count.”
JULIAN: “I would. This was a major goal for you.”
LOUIS: “And I spoke to my mom. Be proud, seriously, I’m on a freaking roll.”
JULIAN: “Two for two. Any particular reason you’re rushing through your checklist.”
LOUIS: “I’m not rushing… I have momentum. I have the will to make things right, to act, so I’m
taking advantage of that. I’m making amends while I’m still super-powered.”
JULIAN: “Full speed ahead then. But what’s at the end? A big goal of sorts? What’s the big race
for?”
LOUIS: “Should there be an event?”
JULIAN: “I think that depends on you. Some people like capping sessions to a good number, ten
for example. Others feels that is unnecessary pressure. A ceremony of sorts can be helpful. It can
make you feel proud as you should be proud.”
LOUIS: “I don’t think I’m ready for a ceremony. I don’t think I deserve it yet. This isn’t even
comparable to the real shit. I see you trying to get rid of me, Jul. Unfortunately for you, your boy is
more messed up than you think.”
JULIAN: “Is that so?”
LOUIS: “Completely cuckoo.”
JULIAN: “Interesting. What’s next then? What’s three, or maybe four, if we’re counting opening
up about the self-harm. What’s the next big challenge you’re thinking of facing?”
LOUIS: “I’m thinking going for the big boss, the devil of all demons, square root himself.”
JULIAN: (mild concern) “That might be a bit early, don’t you think?”
LOUIS: “Why treat the symptoms when you can go for the core?”
JULIAN: (more serious) “Because sometimes the core might overwhelm us. Sometimes part of
therapy is building the artillery to win against a fight with the core problem. The courage is always
there, it’s the methods that lack. That’s what we teach here. Do you think you’re ready to wage
that war?”
LOUIS: (hesitates before nodding) “I wanna try. I don’t mind losing a battle or two. I wanna try
now while I’m confident in my happiness. Before I change my mind again and lock all those
experiences away under the pretense that I’m happy and that’s proof that I can be happy not facing
it. I’m happy, yes, but I have to face it. I want to.”
JULIAN: “And how would you want to do that?”
LOUIS: “With him. If I’m gonna talk about this, I want him here.”
JULIAN: “Harry?”
LOUIS: “Yeah.”
JULIAN: “Why? Moral support? We usually don’t advise against having people close to the
person sit in. It blocks your stream of consciousness. Makes you hold off on stuff under the fear of
judgment. It’s not always the best solution, despite the fact that you probably love him and feel
safe in his presence.”
LOUIS: “It’s not about that. That’s true but it’s not that I need his presence…not like that.”
(frowning in concentration) “It’s him I want to tell this story to. He’s the person I want to face
during it. He’s my reason and he needs a reason back.” (Julian seems impressed) “You’re just
sitting in to listen so I don’t have to repeat myself.”
JULIAN: “I understand now.”
LOUIS: “You’re there to help me put the pieces back together after I completely come undone for
him.”
Both
Chapter 113: Both
Scene 1
LOUIS: (opening the door to Harry’s room, still bouncing in excitement) “Wifey, I’m home!”
(notices it’s dark in the room, quiets down) “Hazza?” (walks in, sees Harry face down on the bed,
clothes still on) “Hi sleepy-head.” (jumps on the bed, tackles him in a hug) “Stop sleeping, bear,
wake up.”
HARRY: (stirs, voice croaky) “Lou, I’m napping.”
LOUIS: (sitting on him, straddling Harry’s bum) “Why?”
HARRY: “Because I’m tired.”
LOUIS: “Why? You didn’t even have work today. I had work. And I just got back. And I’m on
fire.”
HARRY: (moves slightly to hint at Louis to get off him) “Lou, please. You’re hurting…”
LOUIS: “Liam and I were in the parade. It was dumb as hell but so ridiculously fun.” (noticing
Harry shifting under him) “Want a massage?” (bounces on Harry, the entire bed moves up and
down with their weights) “A naked massage perhaps.”
HARRY: (groaned) “Lou.”
LOUIS: (ignoring him) “That will wake you up. You and someone else, right?”
HARRY: “Babe, please. My bladder.”
LOUIS: (rolls off to lay beside him on his back, shoes still on) “Go piss, you disgusting person.”
HARRY: (sighs, curls to his side, face in the pillow) “I wanna sleep for a bit, okay?”
LOUIS: (whiny) “But you had all day to sleep. I’m here now.” (yanking on Harry’s shirt, Harry
resists) “Let’s do something. Let’s do dinner. I have things to tell you.”
HARRY: “Later.”
LOUIS: “Harry!”
HARRY: “Later, ten minutes, just…” (blindly reaches for the comforter, tries pulling it, it doesn’t
budge because Louis is on top, gives up, lays there half covered) “Ten minutes, okay?”
LOUIS: (turns to his side to observe Harry’s back) “Are you okay? You’re sweaty.” (touches the
wet back of Harry’s shirt) “Are you sick?”
HARRY: “Yes.”
LOUIS: (pulls his hand back, exaggerated) “Ugh, diseased. Now you’ll give it to me.”
HARRY: “Let me sleep. I’m not sick.”
LOUIS: “What then?”
HARRY: “I’m just not feeling too hot.”
LOUIS: (teasing) “But you are very hot, Mr. Styles.” (Harry hums in response but says nothing
else) “Haz?” (pouts, shuffles closer, throws an arm around Harry’s waist) “You’re—“
HARRY: (mildly frustrated) “I’m sick, yes.”
LOUIS: “But you said you weren’t—“
HARRY: “I don’t know what I am.”
LOUIS: (blows air out of his cheeks) “You’re boring. You’re being boring these days.” (Harry
pushes his face further in the pillow, covers it with his hand) “Come. Let’s do a movie.”
HARRY: (mumbled, a slight edge to his voice) “Go with Liam.”
LOUIS: “Liam’s tired.”
HARRY: “I’m tired too.”
LOUIS: “From what?”
HARRY: (forceful) “I just am, okay?” (sadder) “I just am.”
LOUIS: (groans dramatically, slumps back on his back) “You’re depressed.”
HARRY: “Maybe.”
LOUIS: “What did you say?”
HARRY: “I said I’ll be up in a few. Sit tight.”
LOUIS: “What am I supposed to do?”
HARRY: “Play Fifa.”
LOUIS: “I can’t play alone.”
HARRY: “Louis.”
LOUIS: “I wanna be with you.”
HARRY: (frustrated sigh) “Sleep then. Nap too. Do whatever. Throw a party, jump off a window,
as long as I get to sleep for ten more fucking minutes.”
LOUIS: (mouth open in surprise) “Harry?”
HARRY: “What?!”
LOUIS: (taken back) “I…I’m sorry.”

HARRY: “It’s okay.” (sighs deeply, turns to his other side to face Louis, eyes red and sleepy) “It’s
okay. I am too. I am more. I shouldn’t have snapped.”
LOUIS: (looks at him, eyebrows pinched) “Are you in pain?”
HARRY: “Hmm?”
LOUIS: “Are you the kind of sick that has pain?” (turns so they’re laying face to face, touches
Harry’s cheek tentatively) “Did you take anything? I have Advil.”
HARRY: (puts his hand on Louis’ waist) “No, love, I’m not in pain. I’m just being cranky
because you woke me up.”
LOUIS: “You had a bad day?”
HARRY: (dismissing) “No, no.”
LOUIS: “You seem like you did.”
HARRY: “I had a long day.” (tired smile) “An off day, let’s say.”
LOUIS: “I have those too. I uh…” (gulps quickly) “I’m going to therapy for them?”
HARRY: (more awake) “What?”
LOUIS: “I’m seeing a therapist, that Simon recommended. He’s cool, named Julian. He makes me
better, mentally. I’ve been better, right?”
HARRY: “Right, right.” (more to himself) “Wow…”
LOUIS: “Sorry for not telling you sooner. I didn’t know if I’d stick with it. Was waiting for the
right time.”
HARRY: (caresses Louis’ side) “That’s okay, darling. It’s one of those personal things. You know
best when the right time is.”
LOUIS: “Right? Yeah, agreed. But I didn’t want it to be like a secret thing. It’s not.” (lays on his
back, Harry cuddles closer to him, hand safely around Louis’ waist, face in the pillow space next to
Louis’ head) “I don’t really know yet what counts as relationship business, like stuff we should be
telling each other and stuff that doesn’t matter much.” (Harry is silent) “Haz, you’re asleep again?”
HARRY: (softly) “No, no.” (drawing shapes on Louis’ shirt with his finger) “I’m listening.”
LOUIS: “You need a hug, curly?” (slides his arm underneath Harry with some struggle, brings
Harry closer to his chest, Harry’s body instantly folding into his) “Thought so.”
HARRY: (gripping on to Louis’ shirt, face nuzzled in the crook of Louis’ neck, voice wavering)
“I’m sorry.”
LOUIS: (petting Harry’s head) “What are you sorry about, dummy?”
LOUIS: (fond) “You don’t know?”

HARRY: “I don’t know why I’m crying right now. It’s so stupid.”
LOUIS: “No, it’s not.” (wraps his other arm around Harry, pulls him further on his chest to hug
him properly, whispered against his forehead) “No, it’s not. It’s okay.”
HARRY: “I’m so sad.” (tears running down his face but otherwise silent in his suffering) “I feel so
sad. I don’t know why. Everything’s perfect. I don’t have a reason to be.”
LOUIS: “You just are?” (Harry nods, whimpering once, body shaking with the muted sobs) “Oh,
H.” (squeezes him tighter) “I think that’s how sadness works most of the time. It happens. Doesn’t
ask for permission.”
LOUIS: “You have nothing to be sorry about. God knows I’ve been sad countless of times like
this.”
HARRY: (small) “I’m sorry I need you to hug me.”
LOUIS: (frowns) “Isn’t that what we’re here to do? Hug each other when we’re happy or sad or
scared or alone?”
HARRY: “I don’t want to be the one that gets all the hugs.”
LOUIS: “I get hugs too. We both get hugs. At different times.” (Harry is practically hugging the
air out of him) “Has something happened, Haz?”
HARRY: (shaking his head adamantly) “No.”
HARRY: “No. Nothing. Nothing that matters. Nothing that matters more than this moment. I
wanna stay here forever.”
LOUIS: (drops it but seems worried, unconvinced) “Okay, love.” (resting his chin on Harry’s
head, quieter) “Okay.”
Scene 2
HARRY: (Harry’s room, middle of the night, on his back, eyes open, blinking at the ceiling,
finally moves to spoon Louis, whisper in his ear) “I love you, baby.” (holds him tight) “You should
know that.”
LOUIS: (sleepily hums as he stirs awake, eyes blinking once before shutting again) “What?”
HARRY: “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
LOUIS: (sleepy smile) “Course you did. Payback, huh? I see you.”
HARRY: (smiles himself) “Maybe, or maybe just the sheer affection I have for you woke me up.”
LOUIS: “Or the sheer boner.” (pushes back on Harry’s body, butt against Harry’s crotch) “Sweet
dreams?”
HARRY: (chuckles) “Just sweet realities. The reality of your butt hugging her, keeping her warm.”
LOUIS: (starting to fall back asleep) “Like you keep me warm.” (Harry squeezes him once, Louis
chuckles airily) “I love this.”
HARRY: “Me too, beautiful. Me too.” (smiles drops off his face somewhat) “I know I’m going
through something right now, Lou. But I want you to know…” (kisses Louis’ shoulder, Louis
squirms in fond,, smile big on his face) “That I’m working on it… I’m seeing someone for it. Like
you, babe.”
LOUIS: “You are?”
HARRY: (another soft kiss, inhales deeply, hugs him tighter) “Mhmm. Great minds think alike.”
LOUIS: “You didn’t say earlier…?”
HARRY: “I couldn’t find the words…” (running his fingers down Louis’ arm, goosebumps
appearing in its trail) “Ever since this happened for me, for us, but for me especially, ever since I
finally, you finally… I can’t find the words for a lot of things. I don’t know how to say stuff. I feel
so much.” (a feverish kiss on the neck, Louis’ moans lightly in response) “So, so much. I’m
overwhelmed by my feelings for you, how strong they are, how real, how—how they make me
doubt having ever loved anything this much, ever loved anything period. Because nothing I’ve felt
before was like this.”
LOUIS: (sighing) “I know… Me too. I feel it too.” (grabs Harry’s hand around his waist with his,
threading their fingers) “It’s everything. Taking over…”
HARRY: “It is. It’s all over me, inside me, bursting, screaming to get out, and I don’t have the
words to express it. Why it hurts.”
HARRY: “But I wanna let you know…” (chokes with emotion) “That you’re everything to me,
love. I’ll do anything to make this work. I’ll work hard for it.”
LOUIS: “Let’s go on a trip.”
HARRY: “Where?”
LOUIS: “Miami. With everyone. Like last time.” (voice laced in affection) “You loved that trip. It
got you out of a rut and you came back beaming.”
HARRY: (longing) “I did love it. I loved everything about it. You…”
LOUIS: “Settled then. Let’s get you out of the house a bit.” (excitement is waking him up) “We’ll
run around, swim, maybe even try surfing again—Dan can come, Sandy, Josh, everyone. You’ll
see how much they adore you and you’ll feel better about things.”
HARRY: (touched, smiling) “I already feel a lot better just hearing that. No stress.”
LOUIS: “No stress.” (turns around, Harry whines because he wants to keep spooning him, Louis
faces him, noses aligned, eyes shimmering) “No work, no drama, no worries, no anxiety, no
sadness.” (mouths almost touching) “Just us.”
HARRY: “I don’t ever wanna lose you.” (big hand covering Louis’ cheek, fingers intertwined in
his locks) “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
LOUIS: “Live a healthy non-hermit life probably.”
HARRY: (chuckles, bites his lip) “I don’t think you’re the one keeping me inside.”
LOUIS: “I’m keeping you in bed.”
HARRY: “I’ll stay in bed with you for as long as you tell me too.”
LOUIS: “That’s the problem, I think… we love this too much. Being here.”
HARRY: (whispered, eyes taking in Louis’ face) “How is that a problem?”
LOUIS: “We need to keep being ourselves apart from this. We have this but we need to also have
our lives. Sometimes separate, even if it sounds bad. We need to keep our dreams.”
HARRY: (nodding throughout Louis’ speech without noticing) “That’s important.” (opens his
mouth, clearly debating if he wants to speak, struggling) “I…”
LOUIS: “Hmm?”
HARRY: “I…uh…I think that’s important. I think that’s true. We need to keep growing on our
own.”
LOUIS: “And together.”
HARRY: “Both.”
LOUIS: “Both.” (pulls him closer so Louis’ face is flush against Harry’s chest, both breathe for a
few minutes, not speaking, Harry’s staring into the darkness, Louis slowly drifting off again) “I
think that’s what I’m doing…”
HARRY: (half-asleep) “Yeah?”
LOUIS: “Yeah.”
Bellendry
Chapter 114: Bellendry
Scene 1
HARRY: (all five boys in a car to Miami) “Put your seatbelt on.”
LOUIS: “In the back?”
HARRY: “Yeah, it’s a safety measure. So you don’t fly off the car and hurt everyone.”
LOUIS: “Won’t you catch me if I do?” (exaggerating) “In your big, strong arms?”
LIAM: “While it is mesmerizing to witness the inner workings of this relationship up close, I will
soon change my mind about that.
LOUIS: (throws him a dirty look) “Be honored, plebeian. You’re witnessing nobility flirt.”
LIAM: “We should have had Eleanor here. She can’t get enough.”
NIALL: (passenger seat, feet on the THING) “But we didn’t. Because we’re racing. And this is
the squad.”
HARRY: (worried) “We’re racing?”
LOUIS: “Hell yeah!” (leaning forward without the seat belt, Harry wraps an arm around his
waist protectively, pulls him flush against his chest, Louis pouts) “But why is Zayn driving—I
wanted to drive. This is so unfair.” (all boys hum dismissively, Louis turns toward Harry pouts
bigger) “Boyfriend, this is so unfair.”
HARRY: “I don’t know why you’re looking at me.”
LOUIS: “This is your car.”
HARRY: “But we held a vote. It was democratic. Two to three.” (kissing Louis’ temple) “Sorry,
bub. Next time, alright?”
LOUIS: (reaching to grab Niall’s sweater) “Why did you vote for him? You were the tie-breaker?
Why, bleachy, why?”
NIALL: “Because I wanted front. And everyone knows when you drive, Harry gets front.”
LOUIS: “He should. It’s his car.”
NIALL: “Well, that’s not how voting works.”
LOUIS: (slumps back in his seat, arms crossed) “And you?” (Liam turns with delay) “Yes, you
pube-face. Why did you vote for Zayn?”
LIAM: “Because I live life trying to earn Zayn’s approval.”

ZAYN: (snorts) “Damn, right.”
LIAM: “And I don’t wanna die.”
LOUIS: (leaning over Harry to glare at Liam) “You sayin’ I suck at driving, mate?”
LIAM: (also leaning, grinning) “Yeah, you wanna fight about it?”
HARRY: (rolling his eyes in amusement) “Let’s not.”
NIALL: “Let’s.”
ZAYN: “I say let’s too. If we’re going by democracy, then it seems we let them grapple it out. I
got my money on Li-daddy.”
LOUIS: (snapping towards him) “What, you wanna fight too, eyelashes?”
LIAM: (to himself, mumbled) “I get pube-face but Zayn is eyelashes?”
LOUIS: “Cause I’ll take you both at once. Then I’ll get to drive and have your bitch asses strapped
to the top of a car like trophies.”
NIALL: “Ooo, big words for someone so small.”
LOUIS: “When did you turn to the dark side, tool?”
NIALL: “When Zayn looked at me with his eyes. He has this thing. It really gets you.”
HARRY: (cuddles him closer, face in Louis’ hair) “I’m on your side, small one.”
LOUIS: (grumbles but doesn’t push away) “Who cares about you?”
ZAYN: “Harry, strap the child in so we can start racing.”
HARRY: (actually reaches over to put the seatbelt around Louis) “No racing.” (Niall and Liam
whine) “No illegal racing. No racing that breaks transportation rules.”
LIAM: “What other kind of racing is there?”
HARRY: “I don’t know, safe racing, racing that doesn’t risk our lives?”
NIALL: “That doesn’t exist, Harry.”
LOUIS: “See, if I were driving I’d know how to do that. I’d know how to sneaky race and beat
them all to the beach without breaking rules.”
HARRY: “You break rules driving home from work, darling.”
LOUIS: “I thought you were on my side!”
HARRY: “I’m on the side that gets us there alive.”
LOUIS: (groaning) “The old people are gonna win at this rate. Zayn.”
NIALL: “Sandy’s not old.”
LIAM: “He’s married! And Dan is like, I don’t know fifty-seven?”
ZAYN: “Seventy-three.”
LOUIS: “And Josh is a girl-period.”
NIALL: “As opposed to a boy period?”
LOUIS: “As opposed to a punctuation period, idiot.”
HARRY: “Don’t use period as an insult. Not everything that’s associated with women can be used
as an insult.”
LOUIS: “Ugh, get El here.”
LIAM: “I told you. She’d die for this wouldn’t she?”
HARRY: “I’m surrounded by pigs.”
LOUIS: “Not everything that’s associated with farm animals can be used as an insult, Harry. Pigs
are intelligent creatures.”
HARRY: “Dirty.”
LIAM: “Oh!”
ZAYN: “It’s okay, H. You can sit in the front if I can break the rules.”
LOUIS: “You can sit on my foot if I can break your face.”
LIAM: “You can break my foot if I sit on your face.” (all look at him) “What? I tried to be part of
it.”
ZAYN: “Don’t try anymore.”
LIAM: “Okay, Zaynie. For you.”
LOUIS: (smacks the back of Zayn’s seat) “Go faster. El drives faster than this. If we lose we
collect wood and crap—and my hands aren’t made to collect wood.”
NIALL: “They’re made for this dick.”
HARRY: (amused) “This dick actually but close enough.”
LIAM: “Ew!”
LOUIS: (jumping towards Liam, held back by the seat belt) “Don’t ew about by boyfriend—I’ll
break your face.”
LIAM: (mimicking him) “I’ll foot your ass.”
LOUIS: “Harry!”
LIAM:“Zayn!”
NIALL: “Niall?”
HARRY: “Enough. No one’s breaking or footing anyone. Drive safe. Don’t insult women. Very
simple rules—do you want me to drive?”
LOUIS: “Don’t let him drive. He drives like a sixteen year old nerd who just got his license.”
ZAYN: “I’m driving. Now buckle up, uglies. It’s winning time.”
LOUIS: (has managed to escape his seat belt without Harry noticing) “Woo, can I sit in the front?
I provide comic relief. Niall is lame.”
NIALL: “Harry…”
HARRY: (sighs dramatically, grabs Louis by the waist, pulls him back, wraps both arms around
his waist) “If you won’t wear the seat belt, you can’t move from my embrace.”
LIAM: “Embrace, ew, what sentimentality, what emotion.”
HARRY: “What’s up with him, today?”
LOUIS: “Don’t mind him, Harry. He’s bitter, he’s girlfriend is finally moving on. Good riddance
if you ask me.”
LIAM: “Yes, good riddance.” (palm on his face, looking at the window, grumbling) “Motherfu…
want me single…for dirty purposes probably…damn perverts.”
NIALL: “Look at me. I’m perpetually single and I don’t ever feel sad.”
LOUIS: “You’re perpetually hooking up without telling people.”
LIAM: “You do?!”
NIALL: “Which now makes me regret telling you.”
LOUIS: “It had to be said. Niall’s filthy. Why do you think he shaves all the time?”
NIALL: “Will you get over that? It’s been months. You shave too. I taught you how to shave.”
LIAM: “Ha! Gold.”
HARRY: “Wait, wait, taught him how exactly?” (to Louis) “Taught you how.”
LOUIS: (sarcastically) “He held my balls so I could better reach my scrotum.”
LIAM: “Hey, that’s fair. Zayn shaved my asshole once.”
NIALL: “What?!”
LOUIS: “I’m sorry, what?”
ZAYN: “His back. I helped him shave his back.”

NIALL: “What, was Sophia looking to physically dominate you because she was bored of doing
that emotionally?”
ZAYN: (laughing, gives Niall a high five) “That was good.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, yeah, Liam’s a whipping boy. Let’s go back to the important part of balls being
shaved.”
ZAYN: “Back.”
LIAM: “Back, bum, what’s the difference?”
HARRY: “To be fair, if he said no homo…?”
LOUIS: (raising an eyebrow) “Yeah, right. I don’t think it’s used for that. Its powers don’t extend
that far.”
ZAYN: “But apparently they extend far enough to sleep in bed with someone for months and get
hickeys from them and go to their sister’s wedding but not be gay.”
LIAM: “Don’t forget the flirting. So much freaking flirting.”
NIALL: “And the jealousy. No homo, bro, I just wanna kill everyone that tries to get your
attention.”
LOUIS: “You’re really enjoying this, aren’t ya? Have a giggle, by any means. I still win at the
end.”
LIAM: “Win at the contest of who wrongly uses ‘no homo’? Yes, yes you do, Lou-Lou.”
LOUIS: “Win at the contest of who’s happiest because I got my fucking man here and you’re
single and Niall has herpes probably and Zayn, I don’t know, I don’t keep up with Zayn’s life, he’s
so old news. I’m surprised people remember who is he anymore.”
ZAYN: “Still dating Perrie. For four years now.”
LOUIS: “While shaving Liam’s ass. No homo.”
ZAYN: “That’s not even the gayest thing I’ve done.”
HARRY: “Um…”
LOUIS: “Oh, pray tell.”
ZAYN: “I don’t think you’d want that.”
LIAM: “Louis, we’re playing. Don’t get sensitive.”
LOUIS: “I’m not—I’m asking him to divulge all his escapades.”
ZAYN: (shaking his head) “I’m ignoring you.”
LOUIS: “And I’m the one being sensitive?”

ZAYN: “Louis, get a clue.”
NIALL: “Come on, guys.”
LIAM: (trying to change the conversation) “Let’s go back to my adventures with Zayn. Those are
way more interesting.”
LOUIS: (catches on, flushes red in anger and embarrassment, at a loss, petty) “I did it better.”
ZAYN: “I’m sure you did.”
HARRY: (serious) “Zayn, drop it.”
ZAYN: “I have. He’s lingering. Fine by me, we would have to discuss it at some point.”
NIALL: “Would you?”
HARRY: “Not here.”
LIAM: “Yes, please, not here. Nothing against it. Just, bad idea.”
LOUIS: “We don’t have to. I don’t care.”
ZAYN: “That makes two of us.”
LOUIS: “You’re literally just saying things after me to get the last word in.”
HARRY: “Both of you, enough.”
LOUIS: (has crossed his arms over his chest, is looking out the window, frown on his face) “What
happens when you have this kind of group incest, anyway. Awkward as hell.”
HARRY: (silence falls in the car, Harry palms his face briefly, closing his eyes before he opens
them again) “Can we, please, try to make the best of this, as it’s Sandy’s last weekend in Florida.
And I haven’t hung out with you guys in ages. And we all need a vacation?”
NIALL: “Yes. We can. We will.”
LIAM: “That was my bad.”
ZAYN: “No, Liam. It really wasn’t—”
LOUIS: (snappy) “Are you implying this is on me?” (Harry’s hand squeezes Louis’ knee gently,
Louis notices, looks down) “H…”
ZAYN: “I’m not saying that. I was going to apologize too.”
LOUIS: “No, you’re right. I got sensitive.”
NIALL: “Understandably.”
LOUIS: (sighs) “I do that at times. When it comes to Harry.”
LIAM: “He’s your boyfriend. We get it.”

LOUIS: “But it shouldn’t be like that—it shouldn’t define our group dynamics. We poke at each
other all the time. It shouldn’t matter that I’m dating him.”
ZAYN: “It doesn’t. You jumped to his defense way before that. You’ve always been protective
over him.”
NIALL: “Yeah, remember that time we called him Alice in Wonderland after that massive fall
during a parade…” (all laugh and chuckle at the memory, even Harry who smacks his face in
embarrassment) “You chewed our balls off about that. You didn’t even know his name and you
said we should quit it before you made Simon give us all bathroom shifts.”
LOUIS: (blushing when Harry turns towards him in awe) “I didn’t do it for you. I felt bad you
were a newbie, that’s all. Could have been anyone, jeez, way to overanalyze evidence.”
LIAM: “We are Larries after all.”
ZAYN: “Larries, is that what we’re going with now?”
LIAM: “El came up with it. But I said Larry Stylinson first so that has to be acknowledged.”
HARRY: “You did always watch out for me. You took me under your wing early on. It was a
thorny wing that hurt a lot but it was nice nonetheless.”
LOUIS: “Whatever. If you wanna get doey-eyed over my random gestures, go for it. More credit
to me.”
LIAM: “Random like covering for him a week straight while he was home with hay fever?”
NIALL: “Or picking up his costume from the dry cleaners for a month until he found out that no,
your outfit doesn’t magically appear in your locker, fresh and clean every week.”
LIAM: “Or, wait, wait, my favorite—that time you bought him lunch for a week straight, saying it
was on the park.”
LOUIS: (Harry’s mouth drops wider with every suggestion while Louis becomes redder) “I did
nice things for him, so what?”
HARRY: “I thought you were an asshole!”
LOUIS: “I was an asshole. Still am.”
ZAYN: “He’s an asshole with a heart of gold.”
LIAM: “More like an asshole who has been in love with this oversized child for two years now but
who’s counting?”
LOUIS: “I think Liam should date Eleanor. Lets discuss this now and stay away from my love
life.”
HARRY: “I thought you were opposed to intragroup dating. Group incest, you called it?”
LOUIS: “Only when it affects me. Plus everyone knows Eleanor has a massive boner for Liam.”
LIAM: “She does?!”

NIALL: “Mhmm.”
LOUIS: “Oh yea. A boner made of sparkly dildos. You should give it a grope.”
LIAM: (blushing) “No, she doesn’t.”
ZAYN: “Personally, I think we should get back to embarrassing Louis with his not-so-subtle acts
of fetus flirting.”
LIAM: “Yes!”
NIALL: “Agreed.”
HARRY: (shrugs, smiling) “I mean…”
LOUIS: (to Harry) “What? You too?”
HARRY: “It’s a democracy, Lou. I don’t decide these things. If the people want you to confess
how much you like me, then confess you must. This isn’t about me, or you, this is bigger than us.”
LOUIS: “Right.”
HARRY: “It’s what the people want.”
NIALL: “It is what the people want. The people want your shame.”
LIAM: “Give it to us.”
LOUIS: “Ugh, fine, less to talk about on our wedding night, I guess. Go for it—shoot for the
stars.”
HARRY: (boys talking over each other, Harry interrupts) “One at a time, men. One at a time. We
have hours.”
Scene 2
DAN: “They’re like a dagger and a rose, the most unlikely combination and so different in
temperament yet so fitting.”
HARRY: “I like that. Can you do that?”
DAN: “What?”
HARRY: “Can you tattoo that on me? A dagger and a rose? That’d be cool.”
JOSH: “You sure you’re not committing a little early here, Styles?”
HARRY: “Not at all. I’m serious. If you can draw an elaborate one, I can come in first day back.”
DAN: “Sure then. You don’t seem to be changing your mind.”
LOUIS: “Wait, no.”
NIALL: “Ooo, the plot thickens.”

LIAM: “Well, better to do it now than later.” (Louis smacks him) “Save him some skin, Lou. He
ain’t got much left.”
LOUIS: “No. Not that.”
HARRY: “Hmm?”
LOUIS: “You get the rose, I’ll get the dagger. That’s what he said, right? We’ll get them in the
same spot. Like they’d have been if they were one tattoo but separate. Can you do that?”
ELEANOR: “That….is the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard—I give up. No relationship in my
life will ever come close to this. Why bother?”
DAN: “Louis—“
LOUIS: “I’m sure. A hundred percent. I got my crotch tattooed and have a giant bird on my
forearm—you think I’ll regret having something that reminds me of the love of my life?”
ELEANOR: “Twist the knife in, why don’t you?”
SANDY: “Who are you and what have you done to Louis ‘the asswipe’ Tomlinson?”
JOSH: “Well, well, well.” (poking Louis in the arm) “Avocado appears to be all soft and mushy
on the inside.”
HARRY: (holds him tighter, whispers) “I’m sorry…”
LOUIS: (to Harry, unperturbed) “What for? Awesome idea.”
JOSH: “Avo-Toast on me tonight, team. He appears to be ripe.”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “Yeah, I’m soft. Isn’t everyone that gets in a relationship?”
ZAYN: “I don’t know. Liam was pretty thorny.”
LOUIS: “I meant a happy relationship.”
JOSH: “Oooh, Payne. You’ll let the man-slut talk like that?”
HARRY: “Hey, hey!”
SANDY: “You crossed the line with Harry there.”
LIAM: “Don’t let him go dark on you.”
HARRY: (nuzzling in Louis’ neck, embarrassed, mumbled) “No name-calling.” (even more
mumbled) “Plus ‘slut’ is an offensive word.”
SANDY: “What was that again?”
ELEANOR: “Someone resuscitate me.”
PERRIE: “Will there be a point to that though, El? They’ll kill you again soon after.”
ELEANOR: “Good point. Leave me dead.”
LOUIS: “I think I wanna make a toast.”
NIALL: “Avo-Toast is making a toast. Shut up everyone.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, yeah. You’ll find your one and get rotten too, don’t you worry. And I’ll be there to
remind you every step of the way.”
SANDY: “He’s right. It happened to me. It happens to us all.”
LOUIS: “Okay, listen up—“
LIAM: “If this is gonna be about Harry, then burry me with Eleanor.”
ELEANOR: “Welcome…”
SANDY: “I thought this event was about me. How does he always find a way to steal the
spotlight?”
DAN: “It gravitates towards him.”
HARRY: (smitten) “It sure does.”
LOUIS: “It’s not. It’s about me. And all of you, goons. I’d like to say about me, well. I’d like to
thank everyone who put up with me when I was annoyingly hetero, as I am now gay. Officially.
Always been but now officially.”
LIAM: (dramatically drops his cup) “Blasphemy.”
NIALL: (between chuckles) “Plot twist!”
ZAYN: “Stop the madness!”
LOUIS: “Oh come on, at least act surprised.”
LIAM: “That’s what we’re doing.”
LOUIS: “Act it better, I mean.”
ELEANOR: “I’m sorry we didn’t all graduate from drama school with a degree in acting straight
—“
LOUIS: “Real mature. I’m trying to be serious here and you’re ruining my moment. I just came
out, that’s like news.”
SANDY: “Mate, you’re dating a man. I thought that was a given.”
LOUIS: “Was it official though? Was it official? Did it have the Twitter approved checkmark next
to it? The real Louis gay.”
LIAM: “Fair point. Should we clap?”
LOUIS: “Please do, but gently so you still hear my speech. I’d like to thank Eleanor, who did not
turn me gay, just turned me off—“
Boyfriend
Chapter 115: Boyfriend
LOUIS: (way past midnight, walking down the beach, barefoot, in t-shirts and swimming trunks,
tipsy) “Remember the last time we were here?”
HARRY: “When, surfing?”
LOUIS: “No… I mean that too, I guess. I’d forgotten about that.” (re-living it) “Yeah, that was an
experience too. But I meant the last time we came here with them, the extras we grace with our
presence, the time we slept on the beach like buffoons and woke up to Liam’s fart in our face.”
HARRY: (makes a disgusted face in memory) “The only time I approved of you twisting his arm
until he cried.”
LOUIS: “Kind of our fault for sleeping out in the open.”
HARRY: (nudging Louis with his shoulder) “Implying we won’t this time? I don’t do tents. Not in
my pants, not in reality—” (Louis shoves him back, Harry giggles) “Was that bad?”
LOUIS: “It was you-bad.”
HARRY: “Damn.”
LOUIS: “Good to know that hasn’t changed.”
HARRY: (splashing water with his feet) “My bad sense of humor?”
LOUIS: “Your adorable awkwardness. I’m glad I didn’t make you too cocky.”
HARRY: “Oh, you made me cocky, alright. My ego grew three sizes since I met you. My body
can barely carry it.”
LOUIS: “It was three sizes too small so that’s a good thing. You were severely under-confident
then.”
HARRY: “I had reason to be.”
LOUIS: “No, you didn’t. You were great then, great now. No reason.”
HARRY: (blushes, evades) “What were you saying before?”
LOUIS: (looking at the sea, serene smile on his face) “About? Your ego?”
HARRY: “Here. Coming here.” (Louis gives him a confused look) “Last time? You said last time
we came here and didn’t end the sentence.”
LOUIS: “Oh, oh. Yeah, I was gonna say…” (smiles at the his feet, toes burying in the wet sand)
“Last time I said—that was so dumb I wish I didn’t remember…” (laughs self-deprecatingly) “I
used to say some shit when I was drunk, huh?”
HARRY: “To me especially…” (wraps his arms around Louis from behind, chin on Louis’ head)
“Giving me all sorts of false signals.”
LOUIS: (leaning back) “Not quite. Drunk words, real truths or whatever that is.”
HARRY: (hums) “Mhm. Which one were you remembering now? Which bad flirt?”
LOUIS: “Maybe I shouldn’t tell you if you don’t remember.”
HARRY: “I do, I do. I remember everything when it comes to us. I just meant which one of the
cringey stuff you said that night. There were many.” (Louis rolls his eyes, moves away to walk
down the beach again, Harry follows him, smirking) “Ed making a mistake letting me go?”
LOUIS: “Nah, that was just fact. He did. A mistake I’m glad he made.”
HARRY: (smug) “I’m in high demand.”
LOUIS: “Please, when you chose me over Ed, you traded your donkey for a horse, a pegasus
even.”
HARRY: (laughing) “Ed would love to hear that, I’m sure.”
LOUIS: “I tell him every day.”
HARRY: “Right, since you text him every day.” (provoking him) “So thirsty. His little fanboy.”
LOUIS: “Thirsty?” (exaggerated screech) “Me, thirsty? Me? Louis Tomlinson, the Tommo, me?”
HARRY: “Ed’s greatest fan.”
LOUIS: “Boy, people line up to be fiends with me—Liam pays for Disney tickets every day he
has off to come eat McDo fries with me. I’m in high demand. You’re Gucci on sale at TJ Max
compared to me, new Gucci line.”
HARRY: “Says the boy who has probably not watched a single Gucci show.”
LOUIS: “Watched a show? What kind of douche are you?”
HARRY: “The Gucci kind, Adidas boy. Talk to me when you stop dressing like a lad.”
LOUIS: “I am a lad. I’m a proud lad. What you got against us lads? You’re too good for us now?”
HARRY: “Nothing, nothing. They’re good to keep around.”
LOUIS: “What is that supposed to mean?”
HARRY: “It means you make me feel better about myself. You make me stand out. A prince
among paupers.”
LOUIS: (fake laughter) “Ho ho ho, prince—prince? Okay, club twink.”
HARRY: “Says the twink.”
LOUIS: “I’m a twunk.”

HARRY: “Sure thing, sure thing. You were saying?”
LOUIS: “I was saying people love me.”
HARRY: (rolls his eyes) “Before that. Originally. Way back in the day before you went all laddy,
when we first started this conversation, what was that about?”
LOUIS: “Um….”
HARRY: “Come on! The thing you said. Back then and just re-remembered. ”
LOUIS: “I don’t know, who cares?”
HARRY: “I care.” (pouts) “I wanted to know.”
LOUIS: “Okay, fine. I was talking about when I said that, um….” (faint blush) “When I said that
it’d be easy to date you. That you’d be easy to date.” (blowing his cheeks) “Remember that?”
HARRY: “Ah. Yeah. Yeah, I do.”
LOUIS: “I was right.”
HARRY: “About dating me?”
LOUIS: “Yeah.” (grinning, throwing sea shells back in the waves while babbling) “It is. It is so
easy. You’re just so easy to love and be with. It’s insane. It’s making me fluffy. It’s making me
tingly. It’s making me dizzy. It’s…it’s…” (shakes his head) “I don’t know what to say it is, not to
be cliche.”
HARRY: (smiles at Louis, grabs his arm, pulls him closer, kisses his nose affectionately) “It’s
being in love.”
LOUIS: “Yeah. I guess it is.” (up on his tiptoes, slowly sinking in the sand with every peck of
Harry’s lips) “I guess this is what I’ve been missing out on, huh?”
HARRY: (touching his face) “I don’t know if I can say I haven’t. I think this is as new for me as it
is for you.”
LOUIS: (giving Harry another quick kiss before pulling away and running around, feet splashing
on the waves) “We must keep it this way. Super easy. We must make sure it doesn’t become a
thing that makes life hard for us.”
HARRY: (quiet) “Haven’t I done already?”
LOUIS: (turns to look at him) “How?”
HARRY: “Don’t wet your legs, babe, or sand’ll stick to them.”
LOUIS: “How have you made my life hard?”
HARRY: (small shrug) “I don’t know. Hasn’t this…haven’t I been hurtful? This whole
experience, until now, until we figured stuff out, hasn’t it been difficult? Hard. For you?”
LOUIS: (frowns) “You think that was you?”

HARRY: (avoiding eye contact, kicking around sand to distract himself) “I took part in it.”
LOUIS: “Are you serious? I was in denial about my feelings for you for close to a year now and
you wanna blame this on yourself?”
HARRY: “You had good reason.”
LOUIS: “Like?”
HARRY: “You know.”
LOUIS: “I do but do you?”
HARRY: “I don’t need to. I know that you do. I know that you were struggling with something
and that’s enough for me. I don’t get to blame you if not being able to come to terms with it hurt
you more than it hurt me. If you couldn’t do it, it was for good reason.”
LOUIS: “You can’t blame me but you can blame yourself…”
HARRY: “I…”
LOUIS: “For something that you had no control over.”
HARRY: “That’s not what I’m saying.”
LOUIS: “You can blame yourself for us getting close when I was the one to move into your room
and never leave, and I was the one that…” (air quotes) “Needed cuddles after that dumb cancer
book. And I asked for your clothes and I asked for your hugs and I asked for your cuddles—I held
your hand in public and let you kiss me and spoon me.”
HARRY: “Louis, enough.”
LOUIS: “No, no. I think we need to go over this ‘struggle’ that you’ve built in your mind so you’re
absolutely clear on who really made the moves in the relationship and who really was keeping us
from becoming a thing and who really made it super hard—and I’m not just talking about the times
we felt each other up in the dark and pretended it wasn’t a thing the next morning.”
HARRY: “I made mistakes too—”
LOUIS: “Like?”
HARRY: “I…I…” (shaking his head, at a loss) “I pushed you.”
LOUIS: “Towards being gay? I don’t think so. Towards being something I didn’t want to be?”
(shakes his head) “The only thing you pushed me towards was making a decision so that you
weren’t confused about what to do with me.”
HARRY: “Isn’t that bad?”
LOUIS: “Would I have done it without you? I seemed pretty content ignoring how unhappy I was
forever.”
HARRY: “Beau—”
LOUIS: “Beau, Beau, Beau, Ed, Ed, Ed, Hunter, Hunter, Hunter, Nick, Nick, Nick, you know
you’re allowed to flirt with people when you’re single, right? You were single. I was too cowardly
to make a move so you were single and all those were fair game despite—” (sad grunt) “Despite
me making you feel guilty about it afterwards because I felt like shit. It hurt yes but I deserved it. I
had no right to keep you to myself when I wasn’t offering you anything.”
HARRY: (mouth gaping) “But I—I promised you…”
LOUIS: “I know. And I’m not bringing this up to re-hash who said what, I said, you said, I
thought, you thought. It was overly-dramatic and overly-long and overly-cried-about. Because it’s
me. And you. And we’re both kinda fucked in the head if you haven’t noticed that yet. And we
needed to go through a lot of up and downs to get stable. It wasn’t your average rom-com, by any
means.”
HARRY: (sideways smile) “It kinda followed that arc though. Meet up, fun and games, bad part,
suspicion, bad guy, climax…”
LOUIS: “More like a script written by a high, overworked dude, being paid on the hour.” (Harry
chuckles and nods) “I’m only saying all this so you can stop sulking about being the one to blame.
I get it, we’re happy. We’re goddamn happy and that scares your tiny yellow trunks off…but that’s
not a reason to sift through the past for something to be sad about.” (Harry purses his lips, takes a
deep breath) “You’re not a villain, Harry. I don’t know why you’re trying to make yourself one.
It’s not in your style.”
HARRY: “Maybe I was tired of being the hero. I said that too, that night, remember? Playing the
hero card, you called it.”
LOUIS: “You said a hero isn’t built in a day. Don’t know about you but you sound like a freaking
hero to me. Or at least one in the making.”
HARRY: “And you? What would that make you?”
LOUIS: (grins) “The protagonist.”
HARRY: “Shouldn’t the protagonist be the hero?”
LOUIS: “Bitch, you’re the random-ass-no-name-prince to my Snow White. You have like zero
screen time. I’m there evolving and shit, growing into a better me. I’m becoming the butterfly I
was meant to be. You’re…eh, there.”
HARRY: “I remember that movie differently because I seem to remember me saving you and your
apple-choked-ass.”
LOUIS: “That was good but don’t steal my thunder. I’m throwing bars and you’re saying ‘Ey!’ in
the backround.”
HARRY: “Please, I’m fighting witches—you’re laying dead-asleep, which is fitting because you
sleep all day while I make cash.”
LOUIS: “Sleep all day, wasn’t that…you, a few days ago?”
HARRY: (purses his lips) “You caught me in my time off.”

LOUIS: (becoming more serious) “What was that about anyway?”
HARRY: (approaching him, taking him in his arms, smiling) “I was sulking. Like you said. About
being left without a part, I suppose. You’re here making all these changes and I’ve yet to have any
screen time.” (mock pouting) “All these changes that will probably…” (little sigh) “Maybe…
render me useless. You don’t really get a part if the princess doesn’t need saving, right? If the
princess gets to save herself.”
LOUIS: “You get to save yourself.” (lighter, grinning) “Because I ain’t saving you. Way too busy
for that shit.” (breaks away again, Harry tries to hold him there, Louis points his tongue out,
slithers out of his hands) “We both need to focus on getting better. It’s easier, I think. If I get better
for me and you get better for you then we’re both better and together. Much less coordination than
you saving me and me saving you and us being together, both saved. If you need something done,
better do it yourself.”
HARRY: (nods, awed) “But I kinda like saving you. Made me feel…important.”
LOUIS: “You have other qualities. You don’t need to add ‘hero-boy’ to that. Too one-
dimensional.” (shyer) “Besides, you do your best saving through leading by example. You inspire
me, being subtle is more of your thing.”
HARRY: “I don’t think I was subtle in liking you.”
LOUIS: “I think you were pretty subtle for me. I’m blind, you gotta remember. I thought you were
straight for like half a season, which is ah-mazing in how utterly ridiculous that is. You’re like…”
(shakes his head with the image, smiling) “I can’t think of you with Eleanor. It’d be too funny.”
HARRY: “Almost as funny as thinking of you with her.”
LOUIS: “Oh. Touche, Styles, touche. You haven’t lost your shady sass.”
HARRY: “You keep it alive in me.”
LOUIS: “I encourage it too much. Now you have Liam sweating—that’s my job.”
HARRY: “Someone has to step up and keep people in line while you fawn and dote and fond and
melt in puddles of marshmallow goo every time I smile at you.”
LOUIS: (mouth drops open) “You…take that back, you little—I do not!” (Harry beams, Louis
tackles him to the sand, straddling him, hands on Harry’s shirt) “Take it back—I am scary,
frightening, tough, big, bad—“
HARRY: (in between laughter, voice mumbled by Louis’ hands fake smacking his face and
squishing his cheeks) “5’9”
LOUIS: “5’9, incredibly intimidating, leader-man of this group. People fear me. I do not go fluffy
for anyone.”
HARRY: “Anyone, really? Anyone?”
LOUIS: (covering Harry’s mouth with his hand) “Take it back. Or I’ll murder you and dispose of
the body in the sea.”
HARRY: “Bodies float—“
LOUIS: “Not when they’ve grown big balls like yours—when did you get so smug, you loser.
You’re just a loser, you know? An awkward, clumsy, dork-faced, dimple-brained, stupid-eyes,
pink-lipped, idiot-attractive-turtle-frog loser. That will never change.”
HARRY: “Frogs eat fishies like you for breakfast.” (laughing, eventually manages to remove
Louis’ hands from off his face) “Enough, please, you win. Frog surrenders.”
LOUIS: “Good.” (places his hands on the sand on either side of Harry’s head, looks at him, both
flushed red from laughing too hard) “Good because this is how it should be. Me on top, always.”
HARRY: (seductive) “I can find other ways for you to be on top, you know?”
LOUIS: (catching on, sexy) “That so? You have any ideas for me?”
HARRY: (looks down at their bodies, Louis’ ass on his crotch, places his hands on Louis’
hipbones) “This for one.”
LOUIS: (ruts once, moving his ass to press down on Harry’s growing crotch) “Hm, not a bad idea,
Styles.” (whispered on purpose) “I like me some PDA.” (Harry’s eyes flash in excitement)
“Some…hmm…” (leans down to kiss the side of Harry’s lips) “Risky business.” (kissing his way
down Harry’s jaw to his neck) “Something that could easily be interrupted by others.” (Harry shifts
slightly under him, leans his head to bare more of his neck) “Others who are by the beach, sleeping
in their tents, completely unaware of what’s going on here…” (sucking Harry’s neck) “What I can
do to you…” (Harry moans) “What I will do to you.”
HARRY: (hoarse) “What’s that?”
LOUIS: “Take a guess, babe.”
HARRY: (groans) “Can’t. Possibilities are endless.”
LOUIS: (touches Harry’s lips with his, Harry opens his mouth, Louis ignores it, bites Harry’s
bottom lip lightly, lets go) “Oh, endless?”
HARRY: (eyes closing) “Anything.”
LOUIS: “Anything, huh?”
HARRY: “You can do anything to me.”
LOUIS: “Lots of power. I’m gonna go mad with it.”
HARRY: “Don’t see anything wrong with that.”
LOUIS: (sits back on top of Harry, looking at him, smirking) “I’m a fair man.” (raises Harry’s
shirt up to his armpits, Harry’s breath hitches) “Fairness, isn’t that what you’re all about?” (runs a
finger down Harry’s chest to his tummy, stops at the waistband of Harry’s trunks) “Isn’t that what
gets you wet?”
HARRY: (gruff, thrusting up into Louis’ once) “I don’t know, perhaps it’s worth checking if I
am.” (sucking on his bottom lip) “Wet, that is.”
LOUIS: “I should return the favor.” (shuffles backwards off Harry’s crotch, traces the outline of
the bulge) “It’s only fair, I think.”
HARRY: (moans) “Very—very fair.”
LOUIS: (gropes him on top of his trunks) “Thought so.” (fingers drift close to the waist band, tuck
in) “We should play who did it better.”
HARRY: (eyes closed, choked laughter) “You’ve already won.”
LOUIS: (eyebrows up) “Have I now?” (fingers dip inside, brush against Harry’s tip) “Is this all it
takes?
HARRY: “Your eyes…” (heavier breathing) “Is all it takes. The way you look at me.” (Louis puts
his entire hand inside the trunks, Harry bucks up) “Way you kiss me…” (Louis hums, grabbing
him properly) “You could do nothing and I’d be like this for you.”
LOUIS: (smug) “You’re easy.” (slides his hand down once down Harry’s length, spreading the
pre-cum, Harry writhes on the sand, bucking again for more contact) “How am I gonna get better
if you don’t push me?” (touching the slit with his pointer, wetting it) “How am I gonna learn new
tricks if they’re not necessary?”
HARRY: (smiling) “Getting cocky, huh?”
LOUIS: “I think you’re the one that’s cocky. Quite literally.” (Harry chuckles airily, Louis slides
his finger down Harry’s length until he reaches Harry’s balls) “If you pretended to be
unimpressed…” (slides his finger further to the area underneath Harry’s balls, Harry arches off
the sand) “I’d be more inclined to impress you.”
HARRY: (panting, baiting him) “You wouldn’t know what to do with that, little boy.”
LOUIS: “Is that so?” (finger touches Harry’s entrance lightly, swirling around, Harry bites back a
whimper) “This right here?” (pushes but not enough to penetrate) “I wouldn’t know about this
because I’m so straight, aren’t I?” (Harry whispers ‘more’) “Because I’ve never seen one of
these?”
HARRY: (tight-lipped, barely speaking) “Right. No—” (Louis pushes again this time almost
breaking in, Harry whines his name) “No experience.”
LOUIS: “I think…” (completely removes his hand, Harry’s trunks tenting badly, wet) “Correct me
if I’m wrong but I think..” (hands wrap around Harry’s thighs, pulls Harry to himself so Harry’s
ass lines up with his own hidden hard-on) “It goes a little like this, right?”
HARRY: (looks down at where their bodies are attached, horny but surprised) “You wouldn’t
have the balls.”
LOUIS: “No?” (leans down, in between Harry’s legs, grinds his hips on Harry as he kisses him) “I
don’t have the balls? You don’t feel them right there? Against your tight ass?” (biting Harry’s
neck) “It’s okay. You’ll feel them soon enough when I’m deep enough to hit your bellybutton.”
HARRY: (really panting) “We don’t have…” (loses train of thought as Louis is kissing his
collarbone and lazily humping him, both still in boxers) “We…” (moans) “Outside. Sand—“
(groans when Louis mouths his nipple) “Lou…”
LOUIS: “All I hear is excuses.” (licking around the pert nub) “Sea, sand, people, beds, clothes…”
(looks up at Harry who is sweaty and flushed) “I thought you liked it outside. Princess wants
perfect conditions now?” (Harry moans, shakes his head, rocking his body against Louis’) “Satin
sheets, three mattresses and a pea?”
HARRY: (whispered) “No, no, but…”
LOUIS: “But?”
HARRY: “Condoms.”
LOUIS: (light frown) “I’m clean—you’re clean.”
HARRY: (light chuckle) “Not about that—“ (Louis cocks his head sideways) “Lube?”
LOUIS: “Lube?”
HARRY: “It’s a process.”
LOUIS: (bigger pout) “It is?”
HARRY: “Come here.” (Louis moves up to kiss him again, Harry wraps his arms and legs around
him as they make out, pulls away, Louis still pouty) “I haven’t in months and…and it takes a bit of
practice the first time. It’s not as simple as girl sex. We need lube at least, or it’ll hurt.”
LOUIS: (whines, burrows his head in Harry’s neck, thrusts a few times so their covered hard-ons
rub against each other carelessly) “But I want.”
HARRY: “I know.” (Louis sucks on his earlobe, Harry groans) “I want too, badly, you have no
idea… but patience. We have to do it right.”
LOUIS: (whimpered) “No, I need it now…” (humps him) “I’m so hard. I want you now. I wanna
be inside. I wanna feel you.”
HARRY: “Oh, poor baby.” (scratching down Louis’ back dully) “You want to cum? (Louis’ nods)
“There is one other thing we could do.”
LOUIS: (raises his head) “Yeah?”
HARRY: (smirks) “Remember what Ed said?” (Louis thinks on it for a second before smiling
wider) “You wanna try that?”
LOUIS: (shaking in excitement, nodding vigorously) “Yes, now, how, yes.”
HARRY: (spreads his hand, palm facing Louis) “Show me your hand.” (Louis places his hand on
top of Harry’s, Harry brings it to his mouth, kisses the back of it, teasing) “I have a bigger hand, I
think I should do it.”
LOUIS: (rips his hand away) “No, me.” (looks down at their crotches, back at Harry, grinning
big) “How? Teach me how. I wanna do it now.”
HARRY: (grins back) “We have to get out of those first.”
LOUIS: (jumps to his feet, shuffles out of his trunks in seconds, almost falling over, no hesitation,
no shame) “Then?”
HARRY: (still on the sand, looking at Louis up and down in shock, blinking at Louis’ exposed
crotch) “O—Okay, wow, that—you really…?”
LOUIS: “Your turn.” (kneels down on the sand in between Harry’s legs, starts dragging Harry’s
trunks off impatiently) “Up with your bum.”
HARRY: (barely recovering, laughing as he arches up so Louis can get the tight trunks off) “You
horny nugget.”
LOUIS: (throws Harry’s trunks aside, both bottom naked, Louis looks up at Harry with big, full of
wonder, eyes, whispered) “What now?”
HARRY: “Guess.” (getting more comfortable in the sand, watching Louis shuffle closer between
his legs, slowly lining up their dicks) “Good boy. Use your hand.”
LOUIS: (wraps his hand around both of their shafts) “Like this?” (Harry pulses in his hand, Louis
feels it, shudders, curses under his breath) “Holy shit, this is amazing. We’re pretty matched,
maybe you aren’t that big after all.”
HARRY: (choked chuckles, moving his hips to slide in and out of Louis’ hand) “Great, right?”
(groans Louis’ name) “Ed’s gift to the world.”
LOUIS: (tightens his hand so they’re touching at every point, creating more friction as Harry
moves) “It’s—it’s…” (shakes his head, can’t look away from their hard members) “This, we’ll do
all the time.” (looks at Harry seriously) “All the time.”
HARRY: (another chuckle) “Spit.”
LOUIS: “Where?”
HARRY: “On them. Spit, get it real slippery.” (Louis makes a face) “Afraid to get dirty all of a
sudden? I’m pretty sure I have sand in my ass.” (Louis rolls his eyes, gathers some spit in his
mouth, puffing his cheeks, looks at Harry again) “Yes, it’s good. I promise.” (nods, slowly lets the
spit out of his mouth so it lands on their hard-ons, still safely squished together in his fist) “Spread
it out.” (mimics the up and down motion in the air with his hand) “Like that.”
LOUIS: (nods again, moves his hand up and down once, the saliva making the process much
smoother) “Shit—okay. Yeah? Like this?” (Harry moans, nods) “Faster?”
HARRY: “You decide the pace. It’s all you, remember? What feels good for you will feel good
for me.”
LOUIS: (getting more excited now) “Time it.”
HARRY: “What?”
LOUIS: “Time the—the end. You’re good at that. Don’t till I do. Wait till we can together.”
HARRY: “Your hand won’t get too dirty?”
LOUIS: “Shut up, Styles, or it’ll slide in somewhere else.”

HARRY: (laughs) “Have your fun now because—“ (Louis squeezes, Harry chokes on his words,
Louis smiles bigger) “Because next time, you won’t be able to get my face out of your ass for
hours.” (Louis moans, gets harder, they both feel it, both thrust in Louis’ hand faster, less
carefully) “Enjoy your little power trip.”
LOUIS: “Big words for someone almost creaming my hand.”
HARRY: (head thrown back, eyes closed) “You’re just lucky I…oh… I care for people’s sleep. I
don’t want your screaming to ah, wake them up.”
LOUIS: (bitting his lip, straining to form sentences) “We’ll see who’ll scream now.”
HARRY: “Not even close, babe.”
LOUIS: “Yeah?” (removes his hand and cock to shuffle back enough to lean down and wrap his
lips around Harry’s tip, Harry yelps in surprise, opening his eyes, Louis pulls back with a smirk,
spits on Harry’s dick again) “Oh don’t get any ideas.” (teasing) “Just making it slippery like you
said.”
HARRY: (shakes his head, silly grin on his face) “Fuck…”
LOUIS: (positions himself back cock-to-cock) “What?”
HARRY: “I love you. I’m gonna have fun loving you.”

Anchor
SAGA 7: THE DRAGON LOVES THE DONKEY
Chapter 116: Anchor
Scene 1. a month later, Dan’s tattoo parlour.
DAN: “Still sure about this boys? Speak now or forever suffer Zayn’s fate.”
HARRY: (wincing) “Yeah…we don’t speak about that yet.”
DAN: (shaking his head, pitying) “Unbelievable.”
LOUIS: (sitting on the chair, about to be tattooed, jumpy with excitement) “Unbelievably funny!”
(sees Harry’s frown) “Sad, I mean, funny-sad, bitter-sweet. Un—just unbelievable. Extremely sad,
yeah.”
DAN: “I literally can’t believe it.”
LOUIS: “Isn’t that what unbelievable means?”
HARRY: “Lou…”
LOUIS: “I mean, come on, they broke up, it’s been close to a month, we’re still crying about it.”
HARRY: “I was crying about Ed for longer than that and he was there for me. I was crying about
you—”
LOUIS: “Are you gonna be mad over this? Now? While we’re trying to have a forever moment?
Yeah, let’s talk about Zayn’s failed relationship while I get your name practically tattooed on my
flesh.”
DAN: “Wait, you’re not getting a name though…right?”
LOUIS: “Same thing.”
HARRY: (huffy) “You brought it up.”
LOUIS: “Dan did. I just said it was kind of funny.”
HARRY: “It’s not though.”
DAN: (holding the needle in one hand, his other hand on Louis’ arm) “Lads, this isn’t really
giving me comfort to tattoo your skins forever here.”
LOUIS: (casually) “Do it.” (back to Harry) “I’m sorry I’m not mourning their dead relationship.
Zayn is doing well. He’s actually happy and I’m happy for him so I’m not gonna sulk like the rest
of you all—I’ve picked my side.” (turns to Dan) “Why aren’t you doing anything again?”
HARRY: “That’s even sadder that he’s happy after four years of being with her, that he moved on
so quickly to other people. How is that funny?”
LOUIS: (notices the hint of seriousness in Harry’s voice but ignores it) “Dan.”
DAN: “I’m letting you finish.”
HARRY: “Yeah, are you quite finished?”
LOUIS: “I am quite finished, thank you.”
DAN: “Are you guys uh sure about this one, maybe two months of thinking on it will be best?”
HARRY: “Well, according to Louis here, people can move on immediately after four years so
we’ll never know.”
LOUIS: (gaping) “Oh come on—I didn’t mean us.”
DAN: “Yeah, two or three or seven months.”
LOUIS: “No, do it.”
HARRY: “Do it, Dan.”
DAN: “ I don’t feel comfortable giving you and your boyfriend matching tattoos while you’re
fighting.”
LOUIS: “We’re not fighting.”
HARRY: (Dan looks at Harry, who rolls his eyes) “We’re not. Do it. Shut him up. We all know he
cries ten minutes in because he’s a big baby.”
LOUIS: “Small baby. And I do not.” (Dan puts needle to flesh, Louis makes a face of discomfort
but doesn’t whine because Harry is smirking at him) “I’m sorry not all of us get off on the pain.”
HARRY: (taunting) “No, some of us cry and pass out.”
LOUIS: “I did once—”
DAN: “Don’t move, Louis.”
LOUIS: “Sorry—” (to Harry, has lowered his voice to a whisper as if that will help) “Once,
because my butt is sensitive.”
DAN: (while tattooing, grinning) “Hear that? Bad news for you, Harry.”
HARRY: “Tell me about it. I couldn’t touch him for a week.” (moaning loudly) “Ouch, it hurts,
ouch you’re slapping me too hard, ouch, grab the other cheek, isn’t one enough?”
DAN: “Oooh-kay then, too much information.” (Louis is blushing faintly, giving Harry the middle
finger with his other hand and mouthing, ‘fucker’) “But seriously, how can you still be, you know,
so sure? After that? After Zayn? He was equally sure and look where that landed him.”
LOUIS: (Harry shrugs, Louis rolls his eyes) “Do you go to weddings and talk about divorce too?
Is that you? Do you welcome people coming out the hospital by saying, hey dude, is it worth
living, I mean we’re all gonna die soon anyway? That’s you, right? Professional joy killer.”
DAN: (chuckling) “The opposite. That shattered my belief in love and I wanna rebuild it again by
questioning you two, loved-up mother fuckers.”
HARRY: (sits on the arm of Louis’ seat, wraps an arm around him carefully) “Relationships end,
yeah.”
LOUIS: “Wow, here comes joy-killer’s assistant, hope-murderer. I’m getting a dagger on my arm
while Harry gives me a dagger to the soul.”
HARRY: (shrugs, smiling fondly) “It’s work being in a relationship. It takes effort…” (caressing
Louis’ hair softly) “But that doesn’t phase me. Plus, I’m never one to end things anyway.”
LOUIS: “What’s that supposed to mean?”
HARRY: (shrugs again, in thought) “You’re almost done.”
LOUIS: “What?”
HARRY: “The tattoo. It’s almost done.”
Scene 2. Harry’s room, later that night.
LOUIS: (laying in bed, gently touching his wrapped arm, looking at the tattoo in awe) “He did
great, huh? It’s sick.” (giddy) “Can’t wait to show it off tomorrow.”
HARRY: (having just come out of the bathroom, changing into a sleeping t-shirt) “I didn’t doubt
him. He’s done most of your tattoos and they look hot.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, but this one is special.” (can’t stop tracing the dagger) “Long time coming.”
HARRY: (turns off the light, jumps on the bed, crawls closer to Louis) “Yup, it’s one of the first
things you really told me, that we should get inked together.” (lays beside him, lines up their arms
so they can see the matching designs on the same spot of the same arm) “Not that I ever expected
this. Frankly, I don’t think anyone did.” (kisses Louis’ temple) “They’re beautiful.”
LOUIS: (lowers his hand, grasps Harry’s fingers) “Do you ever think like him?”
HARRY: “Who?”
LOUIS: “Dan. Do you ever think about what Dan said? How you never know with relationships
ending and all. I bet he sees a lot of couples come in. I bet he doubts us. I know a lot of people do,
honeymoon phase and all. It scares me to think of that, that these feelings, this happiness, is part of
some phase. What happens then? We’re sad? We get sad for the rest of our lives?”
HARRY: (smiles to himself) “I sometimes forget you’ve never been in a relationship before.”
(turns to his side to touch Louis face with his other hand) “There is no sadness. And no happiness.
Well, not quite. It’s a different sort of happiness. Content-ness, being content. Feeling like, ok you
know when you have never had coffee?”
LOUIS: “I don’t know. I was born drinking coffee. My mom’s boobs had latte in them.”
HARRY: “Yeah, uh, ok…you know when someone has never had coffee and they drink their first
coffee and they literally feel like they become the Jesus of productivity?”
LOUIS: “I’m not…”
HARRY: “Wait. And then you keep drinking coffee every day and at some point it loses that
effect. You’re no longer supernatural. At some point if you don’t have coffee you feel abnormal.
You need the coffee to feel normal. When you drink it, things are going as they’re supposed to.
That’s how relationships are.”
LOUIS: “Caffeine addiction and withdrawals?”
HARRY: “Yeah, no…” (frowns to himself) “Kind of, actually. There’s a bit of an addiction.
You’re used to having the person around, to having their love around you. And withdrawals, yes,
you do miss them when they’re not there.”
LOUIS: “I already have those. Pretty bad.” (blushes, jokes) “So your metaphor sucks.”
HARRY: (touched) “I have those too because, like I was gonna say, we went through the
honeymoon. We’re a special case. We’ve been together for much longer than we’ve been
together.”
LOUIS: “You’re right. No point thinking about what might happen.” (closes his eyes, cuddles the
pillow) “Let’s focus on now. And now I’m happy… and I want sleep.”
HARRY: (a few minutes go by while Harry pets Louis’ hair, finally he speaks up, more serious yet
gentle) “Hey.”
LOUIS: “Hmm?”
HARRY: “Do you trust me?”
LOUIS: (amused, opens his eyes) “What kind of question is that?”
HARRY: (bringing their faces closer) “Do you trust me… fully, blindly?”
LOUIS: “Shouldn’t I?”
HARRY: “Do you?”
LOUIS: “I…I mean…yeah, I do. Of course I do. Why ask?”’
HARRY: “Well…”
LOUIS: “There’s a ‘well’ oh boy.”
HARRY: (biting his lip) “Because…”
LOUIS: “Yeah?”
HARRY: “I’m gonna tell you something.”
LOUIS: (a little bit worried now) “Ok? Should I be scared?”
HARRY: “No, no. It’s not… I’m gonna ask you something and I’m gonna need you to trust me
fully.” (Louis nods slowly) “And not ask any questions. And not doubt me or my intentions or this
thing we have here, what we did today. I need you to do that.” (swallows) “Can you?”
LOUIS: (hesitating, fully awake, nose pinched) “Ok. What is it?”
HARRY: “I’m sorry I’m making you do this. I know we usually talk, that we’re supposed to
communicate. This is just, a thing for me, a thing I have to get through and right now, I need to do
something and I need you to let me so I can—”
LOUIS: (shushes him with finger on Harry’s lips) “Stop. I get it. I understand. I’ve done this to
you countless of times. I trust you. Ask me.”
HARRY: (emotional) “It’s not that I don’t—”
LOUIS: “Ask me, Haz.” (smiling faintly) “It’s okay.”
HARRY: (opens his mouth to protest, closes it, thinks, takes a deep breath) “I’m…I’m going to—I
have tickets to go to New York. I’m going to New York. Soon. Next weekend.”
LOUIS: “Ok…”
HARRY: “To visit Ed. I’m staying with Ed.”
LOUIS: (complete silence, Louis purses his lips, speaks with some difficulty, more strained) “I
see. Next weekend?” (Harry nods, sad, Louis exhales shakily) “I mean, wow.”
HARRY: (immediately doubting himself) “I’m sorry. This was stupid. I’m… I shouldn’t…It’s not
a—”
LOUIS: “No, no. It’s fine—that’s fine. I’m fine with it. Is this like a—a closure thing because I
thought they guys did that whole thing at your sister’s wedding and that ended things and that you
said you don’t think of him like that—” (Harry looks pained) “Oh right, I’m not supposed to ask.
I’m trusting you, ok. This is the trust thing. Right.” (another exhale, pops his lips) “I don’t know
what to say.”
LOUIS: “Why are you sorry?” (breaking his facade a little, trying to joke but it sounds vulnerable
and pitchy) “Are you doing something bad, something to be sorry about? Is this like, advanced
payment?”
HARRY: “No, no. I’m not.” (practically crushing Louis’ hand in between his) “I’m not, I promise.
You have to trust me, I promise.”
LOUIS: “I do, I do.” (nodding to himself) “I do. You’re my angel, I do. It’s just…” (face scrunches
in pain) “I couldn’t help…? I can’t help?” (small, sad) “Coming with wouldn’t help…? If I…If I
came too?”
HARRY: (after a few seconds, can’t look at Louis’ eyes, whispered) “No, it wouldn’t.” (weakly)
“I’m sorry.”
LOUIS: (bringing him closer) “No, I’m sorry.”
HARRY: (an arm around Louis tightly, the other hand on his own face, covering his eyes) “It’s
something I have to do and then everything will be okay, I promise, it’s a last thing.”
LOUIS: “…I have a last thing too.”

HARRY: (pulling away to look at Louis) “You do?”
LOUIS: “Mhmm. How about this? How about you go on your trip and you take a trip with me?”
HARRY: “Where? Like vacation?”
LOUIS: (winces slightly) “Kind of. Like, like when we traveled together. Home. Your home. Like
that.”
HARRY: “You want to go back to my mom’s?”
LOUIS: “I want to go back to my mom’s.”
HARRY: (stunned) “Oh…”
LOUIS: “I know. It’s been years. Eight years. But I think I’m ready. And I want you to be there. I
want you to come with.”
HARRY: (slowly nodding in awe) “Are you sure?”
LOUIS: “I’m always sure about you.”
HARRY: “And about going there?”
LOUIS: “It’ll be good for me.” (Harry stills seems unsure, Louis smiles) “You’ll have your trip of
enlightenment and I’ll have mine and then we can be good forever.” (places his head on Harry’s
chest) “It’ll all be good finally. No more regrets, no more things left unsaid.”
HARRY: (touching Louis’ hair, staring at the ceiling troubled) “I hope so, baby. I sure hope so.
Because I think we’ve deserved it.”
LOUIS: (through his yawn, jokingly) “The world owes you nothing. Take shit. Live a pirate’s life.
Ho-ho. They should have made me Jack Sparrow.”
HARRY: (cracks a smile) “I’ve always fancied Barbossa.”
LOUIS: “Liam ships it.”
HARRY: “Is there anything he doesn’t?”
LOUIS: “Nope. But he ships us too, shipped us since the beginning so I have faith will all work
out.” (kissing the tattoo) “I have faith this baby will be the best thing I did.”
HARRY: (fond but can’t seem to shake the worry away) “I hope so.”
LOUIS: (finally noticing, raises his head to stare at him, head sideways) “Do you doubt us?”
Asymmetric
Chapter 117: Asymmetric
Scene 1.
ED: (waiting in the airport, spots Harry, smiles, calls for him) “Will you look at that, getting more
and more pretentious every day, aren’t you, Styles? The transformation to prick is almost
complete.”
HARRY: (smiling back, hugs him, fluffs his hair) “Dressing proper when flying is a being a prick
now?”
ED: (letting go, they both start walking to the car) “Yes, that’s a dictionary definition. You’re
probably one of those people thinking, if I die today, I better die fabulous so when they recover my
body I’m wearing gucci boots.” (Harry shrugs, chuckling) “So extra.”
HARRY: “Saying extra is extra.”
ED: “Having your face is extra.”
HARRY: “You used to love this face.”
ED: “I used to love masturbating with a sock too but things change. You grow up. Your taste
refines. You make better decisions.”
HARRY: “Ha! What do you masturbate with now, grown-up Ed?”
ED: (amused, winking) “A human ass.”
HARRY: (pushes him away, makes a disgusted face) “Douche.”
ED: (laughs, looks at Harry’s arm) “Is that it?” (Harry looks down as well, confused) “The tat, the
new tat?”
HARRY: “Oh yeah…” (stretches his arm so Ed touches the still somewhat swollen tattoo)
“Careful. It’s only been a week.”
ED: “Itchy?”
HARRY: “Yeah. Louis has it worse though. I catch him scratching it at night. I have to sleep
grabbing his arm so he doesn’t make it bleed.”
ED: “What a baby.”
HARRY: “You should have seen him trying to be strong about it. Teary-eyed, hiding his face in
my shirt.”
ED: “Tiny child.” (giving Harry his arm back) “It’s badass though. Why the rose? Beauty and the
Beast.”
HARRY: (teasing) “Nah, I’d have gotten that if I was still with you.”
ED: (mouth falls open) “That’s low, Styles.”
HARRY: “Long story short, the artist suggested Louis and I are like a dagger and a rose so in
honor of making quick judgements about what will eternally be on our skin…” (showy) “Dagger
and rose.”
ED: “Matching tats a few months in, that’s…intense.”
HARRY: “It’s been more than a few months.”
ED: “Yeah, yeah…still it’s big deal.”
HARRY: (shrugs) “He’s a big deal to me.”
ED: “Does he know?”
HARRY: “About? The tattoos matching? I sure hope so.”
ED: “About you being here.”
HARRY: “Yeah. I told him.”
ED: “Does he know the full story?”
HARRY: (defensive) “No.”
ED: (small frown) “Harry—”
HARRY: “The point of this trip was that I figured out if I had to tell him—”
ED: “You have to.”
HARRY: “Not if I don’t do anything. I don’t have to get him worried if nothing will change.”
ED: “You still have to. It’s a big deal. You’re supposed to tell people these kinds of stuff.”
HARRY: (shrugs, more uncomfortable with the turn in conversation) “I will. If I have to. If it ends
up being anything. I will figure out how. But I’m sure it won’t come to that.”
ED: (subtle) “Have you told Zayn?”
HARRY: “Yeah. He’s the only person that really knows.”
ED: (not subtle enough) “Of course he is. Why am I not shocked?”
HARRY: “Wow. It’s time already?” (pretends to check his wrist) “That was fast. New record.”
ED: “What was?”
HARRY: “Your monthly get bitchy about Zayn performance.”
ED: (taken back before he rolls his eyes) “I forget you don’t like to be called out on it.”
HARRY: “I forget you never got over that.”

ED: “I forget you were such an unapologetic dick about cheating on your longterm boyfriend with
our mutual best friend.”
HARRY: (stung, feels bad immediately) “I am apologetic. Don’t say that.”
ED: “Good to know nothing has changed.” (sarcastic) “How comforting.”
HARRY: “I am fucking apologetic. I feel like shit about it. It’s on my mind every day. But this is
not about Zayn. At all. I came to you because I trusted you. Don’t make this about him. Or
whatever race you guys decided to have ages ago. That’s over. This is about me, just me.” (Ed
seems to be thinking it over, pursed lips) “Now are you gonna come with me or not?”
Scene 2.
LIAM: (at the gym, Louis spotting while Liam bench presses) “So…”
LOUIS: “So?”
LIAM: “Are you worried?”
LOUIS: “I’m gonna be worried if this is the heaviest you can do. I’d have severely overestimated
your muscle mass. All my shower fantasies would be void.”
LIAM: “You think of me in—“
LOUIS: (sarcastic) “Yes, Liam. Me and Eleanor both. And Harry. Definitely Zayn. We, as a team,
jerk off to your pouty, pseudo-hipster black and white selfies.”
LIAM: (sarcasm completely going over his head) “Wow. That’s actually quite flattering.” (Louis
rolls his eyes so hard he’s momentarily blinded, Liam manages a few more lifts before talking,
more out of breath) “I meant about Harry. Are you worried about Harry?”
LOUIS: (half-shrug, the sadness only lasts a second before he’s back to his sassy self) “I miss
him, yeah, but it’s not like he’ll be gone forever. He’s only gone for a few days. I have more dignity
than to admit I cuddle one of his t-shirts yesterday.”
LIAM: (amused) “So you didn’t?”
LOUIS: “Oh definitely not.”
LIAM: “Definitely. Definitely.” (lifts a few more times) “So random. Is Ed okay?”
LOUIS: (thought just crossed his mind) “I think so? To be honest I don’t know much.”
LIAM: “Does that worry you?”
LOUIS: (another shrug, doesn’t wanna let on) “Only if it has to do with his health, his well-being.
I only worry about that. I hope it’s not something about his health. I hope someone’s not in trouble,
or sick…” (trying to convince himself more than Liam) “But he’d tell me about that. He wouldn’t
keep it from me. He’d let me support him. So it’s not that. So I’m not worried. I just miss him.”
LIAM: “And Ed?”
LOUIS: “He’s probably fine. He’d tell me if he wasn’t.”

LIAM: “No, you’re not worried about him being with Ed?”
LOUIS: “Should I be?”
LIAM: “No, no. I mean, what do I know?”
LOUIS: “What do you know?”
LIAM: “Nothing.”
LOUIS: “Nothing?” (hand on his hip) “Really now?”
LIAM: “Really. I know shit. I just thought…Zayn mentioned once about something or what not
—“
LIAM: “It probably had nothing to do with this.”
LOUIS: “Ok, so then tell me. If it doesn’t, why not tell me?”
LIAM: “He probably should do it.”
LOUIS: “So you actually know something?”
LIAM: “Don’t you wanna get it from him?”
LOUIS: “Get what? What the hell do you know? What is he doing there?”
LIAM: “He’s thinking of moving there, Louis…”
Scene 3.
ED: (walking around Washington Square Park, sunny day, people everywhere, both have coffees in
their hands as they stroll) “Here you go. WaSquaPa, as the froshies who have been here two weeks
and think they’re cool would say.” (Harry chuckles) “I hate coming here so be thankful. I’ll
probably be harassed by a million global warming leaflets. And turn gay.”
HARRY: “Aren’t you half-gay?”
ED: “I’ll become whole.”
HARRY: “Nice.” (looking around, awe in his face) “It’s such a good day.” (Ed nods, not close to
impressed) “It’s different here. Full on city. Not like Columbia.”
ED: “Yeah, that’s what they keep repeating to themselves to feel better about Columbia ranking
higher in practically every list.”
HARRY: (looking at the people sitting on the grass, reading, talking with friends) “I like it.”
ED: “But can you see yourself living here?”
HARRY: (shrugs) “I don’t really think about that much.”

ED: “You should. It’s coming up.”
HARRY: (sitting on a bench, unsure) “It’s hard to think about, or really take seriously. Last time I
was here…” (Ed nods, biting his lip) “I really struggled. I was depressed…I didn’t want this life. I
didn’t want to study and do work and do any of this life.” (sad smile) “Probably not a good idea to
return to that.”
ED: (sits beside him) “That was years ago. This is different. You’re different. You can’t compare
the two.”
HARRY: “Yeah…I guess…I guess it’s not the same as feeling like I had to be here, like I was
trapped.” (looks at the ground, moves a cigarette bud around with his shoe, stalling, thinking,
wondering, debating, struggling, finally admitting) “I’ll say no. I already decided. I’ll refuse it.”
ED: (nods solemnly) “I figured.”
HARRY: “It makes sense. I wasn’t…when I applied, I didn’t even think of this—that any of it
would happen, that they’d even want me at all. Louis mentioned it once and I thought why not?”
ED: “Right.”
HARRY: “But I wasn’t serious.”
ED: “If you knew, why did you come at all?”
HARRY: “I just wanted to see it, the campus, what it’d be like to be here.” (smiles at the sky) “I
wanted to be happy for a second about it since it was a big achievement and I made it. I’m okay
now. I’m at peace. I’m happy about it.”
ED: “Tisch is cutthroat. Film in Tisch is super cutthroat. They don’t take everyone. And they want
you.”
HARRY: (allows himself a smile of pride and joy) “Crazy, right? Even with the dropping out. I
guess they saw something.”
ED: (quieter) “Don’t say no, Harry.”
HARRY: “I have to.”
ED: “You’ll regret it.”
HARRY: “No, no. I won’t. This was just a fling.”
ED: “No, it’s not. You know that. You know it’s not.” (motions around) “This is what you want to
do. This is your dream, what you missed out on doing, what was always hanging over your head,
the dropping out, the not being smart enough. This is your re-do. You want this.”
HARRY: (stubborn) “Louis. Is what I want. And he’s happy in Florida. You can’t understand
because you weren’t there since the start but I was and I’ve seen him depressed and I’ve seen him
angry and anxious and scared and utterly unable to live his life.” (passionate when he talks about
it) “And now, he’s finally happy. He’s thriving, opening up, becoming fully comfortable with
everything he is and wants to become. It’s beautiful to witness. It makes me so happy. We have
friends. Everyone we love is there. He has a community that cares for him and supports him.
They’re his only family.” (emotional, shaking his head) “That is the life I want, that’s the dream. I
won’t lose that for this.”
ED: (touches Harry’s knee, persistent) “Don’t say no. Ask him first. Don’t make this decision
alone.”
HARRY: “I don’t want him to feel like he has to do anything for me.” (brokenly) “I don’t want
him to feel like anything in my life is more important than him, because nothing is, okay? Nothing
is. I don’t want him to doubt that.” (stands up to throw the coffee in the trash, when he turns
towards Ed, he’s smiling again with only a hint of sadness) “I’ve already decided anyway. It was a
random thing. A bucket list thing. And I did it. That’s enough for me.”
ED: “You don’t even know what he’ll say.” (stands up, follows him) “You’re not giving him a
chance.”
Scene 4.
LOUIS: (sitting next to each other at a bar, drinking beer) “Go for it.”
LIAM: (looking back at Louis after being to busy staring behind him) “What?”
LOUIS: “You’ve been eyeing those girls the entire time. Go for it. Say hi. I’ll wingman.”
LIAM: (blushes faintly at being caught) “Nah. I wasn’t. Just noticing, that’s all.”
LOUIS: “Is your confidence shot?”
LIAM: (scratching the back of his neck) “Kinda?”
LOUIS: “Sophia took it with her?”
LIAM: “Maybe. My confidence, my heart, my crushed spine in a tiny bottle. She’ll mix up some
potion with them, I don’t doubt it.”
LOUIS: “Still stuck on her then?”
LIAM: “No.” (takes a sip of his beer) “She has a boyfriend now. Another gullible fuck to cheat on
and make miserable.”
LOUIS: “Poor guy. Hope he lubed his asshole because her schlong is long, if you catch my drift.”
LIAM: “Oh, I do. I lived it.”
LOUIS: “You’re still stitching yours up.”
LIAM: “It’ll take a while to recover. Repeated trauma has made it loose.”
LOUIS: “I pray for the fool.”
LIAM: “Yeah, exactly, pray for him. God knows I do.”
LOUIS: (grinning) “You’re handling it well. Rebounding on Eleanor. Join the club.”
LIAM: “That’s not funny. She’s an excellent person. She doesn’t deserve that.”
LOUIS: “Woof! Rebounding hard then, not even bouncing back, just sort of stuck there like a a
velcro costume on a velcro wall.”
LIAM: “I’m not! I’m not thinking about that. No more dating for me.”
LOUIS: “Forever?” (sarcastic) “How will your anus make it so unstimulated?”
LIAM: “I don’t know, Tomlinson, is that an offer?”
LOUIS: (raising his eyebrows) “Do you want it to be?”
LIAM: (laughs, confessing) “I love you like this.”
LOUIS: “Love. Hold your horses, anal boy. We’ve barely touched butt hair, let’s not jump to
marriage vows. Allow me to shave you first.”
LIAM: (rolls his eyes) “Yeah, yeah. I meant I love who you are now.”
LOUIS: “Your daddy.”
LIAM: “One, I’m daddy. Two, will you stop that? I’m being serious.”
LOUIS: “Pardon me, I didn’t know we were doing that role-play.”
LIAM: “Stop. All I wanted to say was I love that you’re comfortable with this now. I love that you
won’t have a panic attack on me for making gay jokes. I love that you smile and laugh and joke
and that you’re happy. I love that. Sue me, okay?”
LOUIS: “Um, gay…”
LIAM: “Fine, be like that.”
LOUIS: (laughs before getting serious again) “You’re okay, though? Really okay?”
LIAM: (shrugs) “It hurts but it’s better for me in the long run. She’s moved on so I can allow
myself to do that too. No chance of falling back now.”
LOUIS: “About time. I was starting to worry about how many more of these Liam pity parties I’d
have to attend. It’s a tradition, I know, but all good things must come to an end.”
LIAM: “I don’t know if this one is my pity party.”
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes) “Yeah, whatever. At least I’m not being being cheated on?”
LIAM: (cautiously) “Do you think he might?”
LOUIS: (firm) “No.”
LIAM: “Quite sure, aren’t you?”
LOUIS: “I have to be. Or why even date someone? I don’t think he will. Ever.”
LIAM: (teasing) “What happened to once a cheater, always a cheater?”

LOUIS: (eyes narrow but lets it go, chuckles lightly) “If I’m gonna love him, I’m gonna have to
love every part of him and every part of his past, including the one that easily cheated on his
boyfriend.” (Liam makes a grim face, Louis shrugs) “But that’s how he loves me and I know I’ve
done stuff in the past that I’ll never do again. It’d be hypocritical not to extend him the same
amount of trust.”
LIAM: “Does it haunt you though? Does it ever cross your mind?”
Scene 5.
HARRY: (past midnight, lights off, both laying on Ed’s bed in t-shirts and sweatpants, staring at
the ceiling) “Thanks for coming with me today.”
ED: “You’re welcome. Thanks for visiting. I never thought I’d ever see you in the city again.”
HARRY: (short chuckle) “I never thought I’d ever see you again. Things change.”
ED: “Some do, some stay the same.”
HARRY: (after minutes of silence where they’re both thinking) “I am sorry. I don’t know if I ever
said that to you and meant it fully because I was always thinking about myself, about how sad I
was, about how much I…” (softly) “Loved him, and how I had to try. I kept making excuses about
it and I never truly did the one thing I was supposed to, which is apologise to you, the person I hurt
the most, selfishly, after all you ever did for me was treat me how I deserved to be treated. I’m
incredibly sorry. I’d take it back. If I went back in time, I’d take it back.”
ED: (trying to lighten the mood) “Even though that would mean you’d never experience the
stallion that is Zayn in bed.”
HARRY: (laughs, swallows) “I’d take it back.”
ED: (rolls over onto him, touches the side of Harry’s face with his hand, pulls him forward to
plant a kiss on Harry’s lips, Harry immediately shoves him back, looking horrified, Ed chuckles
sadly) “Good boy.”
HARRY: (flinches violently at the pet name) “What are you doing?”
ED: “I’m sorry, H.” (Harry has completely shuffled off the bed in panic) “I had to try.”
HARRY: (completely frazzled, pained, lost) “Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? Louis!
Louis is my—he’s my, how could you, you know him, you know him and how I care for him! You
knew.” (paces) “What are you trying to do here?” (viciously) “I love Louis! Not you. I love him.
How, you—” (more desperate, almost in tears) “Are you crazy?”
ED: (doesn’t seem hurt) “I know. I know. I had to test you.”
HARRY: (silent furry) “What?”
ED: (not looking at him in the eye) “You…I had to make sure. That you wouldn’t. I had to make
sure that you were sure. I care about him. I don’t want him hurt and I wanted to make sure you
wouldn’t hurt him like you hurt me—that you’d really changed.”
HARRY: “So you sabotaged me?!”

ED: “I did not! That would imply I wanted you to fail and I didn’t—I don’t. I want nothing but
happiness for both if you. I don’t want to hurt you. I want to protect him, both of you.”
HARRY: (shaking his head in disbelief) “Fuck you!”
ED: “I don’t want you to cheat on him. He doesn’t deserve that. It would ruin him.”
HARRY: (utterly betrayed) “I won’t, if you don’t fucking force yourself on me, you fucking
psycho!” (half-screaming now) “I won’t. Who said I would? Why would I ever? Who said I ever
would? I love him more than anything—” (tears are actually falling down his cheeks now) “I
would never—who said I would?! Did he—?” (chokes up) “Did he ask you? Is this? Was this?”
ED: “No, no. It’s…I’m sorry.” (gets off the bed to approach him, calm him down, tries to hug him)
“But you passed. With flying colours. You didn’t do anything wrong—You didn’t slip back. You
proved yourself.”
HARRY: “To who? To you? I don’t need to prove anything to you. I owe you nothing.”
ED: “I wanted to help. It wasn’t…”
HARRY: “It wasn’t your place.” (shocked and hurt) “Who do you think you are?”
Scene 6.
LOUIS: (middle of the night, still at the bar with Liam, both laughing loudly when Louis’ phone
rings, Louis looks at the screen, smiles wide) “I gotta pick this up. Hold that thought. To be
continued.”
LIAM: (knowingly) “The hubby?”
LOUIS: (nods, visibly happy) “Yup!” (jogs outside the bar before picking up the phone) “Hazza,
baby, how’s New York, more sex or more city?”
HARRY: (whimpered) “Lou…” (in Ed’s bathroom, sitting on the floor, back against the bathtub,
sobbing, frantic) “Did you do this? Did you think I would? Did you think I would?”
LOUIS: (face immediately falls) “Harry? Are you crying?” (Harry’s sniffling, indeed crying)
“What happened? Are you hurt? Babe, whats wrong? What’s going on?”
HARRY: “You thought I’d cheat on you!”
LOUIS: “What?”
HARRY: (talking fast between tears, almost breathless) “That’s what you thought—that’s what
everyone thought because I did it to Ed and you all doubt me—you doubt me too, everyone doubts
me. You told him—“
LOUIS: (talking over Harry’s rambling, trying to calm him down, worried) “Hey, hey. Love, hey.
Harry. H, please. One second, please. Talk slower, curly, so I can hear you, okay? I wanna help.”
HARRY: “I didn’t cheat on you.”
LOUIS: (gulps, can’t help the hurt in his voice) “Cheat?”

HARRY: “I would never. You set me up.”
LOUIS: “No, love, what? What’s going on, please? You’re crying and you sound hurt and I’m
panicking because I’m three states away and I don’t know what’s wrong? What happened? Where
are you?”
HARRY: “Bathroom.”
LOUIS: “Ed’s?”
HARRY: (shuddery, trying to regain his breath) “Yeah.”
LOUIS: (relieved) “Ok, ok, good. Are you hurt?”
HARRY: “Yes. You hurt my heart.”
LOUIS: (fond) “Ok, I see, but are you physically hurt?”
HARRY: “No.”
LOUIS: (under his breath) “Thank god.” (exhales) “Jesus, thank god. At least that. Tell me then,
what happened? Who upset you? How did I hurt your heart so I can make it better.”
HARRY: “You thought I’d cheat on you.”
LOUIS: (frowns in confusion) “I didn’t. I didn’t at all. Why are you saying this?” (more pitchy)
“Did you do anything? Did you cheat?”
HARRY: (the tears building up again) “No. Because I love you. I’m your boyfriend.”
LOUIS: “Me too. I love you t—”
HARRY: “You doubted me.” (some anger mixing in with his emotion) “I asked you to trust me
once, just this once, for once, and you didn’t, you doubted me, you set me up. You still think I’m
like that, even though I told you, I’m not. I would never.”
HARRY: “A fuck up! Like I was in the past, with Ed.”
LOUIS: “No, love. I don’t think that at all. I don’t know what you mean. Why are you saying
this? What’s going on?”
HARRY: (brokenly) “He kissed me to see if I would cheat on you because he thought I would and
he wanted to test me.”
LOUIS: (blurts) “Did you kiss him back?”
HARRY: “Lou!”
LOUIS: “I’m sorry. I don’t understand, I’m sorry. I’m trying.”
HARRY: “You asked him to?”

LOUIS: “What?”
HARRY: “You asked him to do it? You told him to? So you could be sure?”
LOUIS: (appalled) “To what? To kiss you? You’re asking me if I asked another man to kiss my
boyfriend? Are you serious right now?”
HARRY: “That’s not fair.”
LOUIS: “I didn’t! Are you crazy? I didn’t—why would I do that?”
HARRY: “To test me—“
LOUIS: “No! Fuck no, why would I need to? I don’t—it never crossed my freaking mind, what
are you talking about? You think I’d play those games with you? With your feelings?”
HARRY: “No…”
LOUIS: (palms his face, thrown off) “What are we doing here? What are we talking about, Harry?
I’m lost and confused and hurt and worried. What is going on?”
HARRY: (hiccuping and sniffling) “I don’t know. I thought…I panicked, I don’t know. I needed
you.”
LOUIS: (small, begging) “Come back.”
HARRY: “Ok.”
LOUIS: (pleading) “Come back, love. Whatever it is…whatever’s going on, just come back to me.
We’ll figure it out, I promise.”
HARRY: (closing his eyes, curling into himself on the bathroom floor, whispered) “Ok.”
Ablation
Chapter 118: Ablation
Scene 1
ED: (in bed, fully asleep when the phone rings, reaches over lazily to pick it up) “Hello?”
LOUIS: (waiting in line at Starbucks) “What are you doing to him?
ED: “Who is this? What is with people starting mid topic as soon as you answer the phone?”
LOUIS: “Real funny, twat. What the hell is going on?”
ED: “What time—” (flips around to look at the clock on the wall, groans) “It’s eight, thats too
early for everything.”
LOUIS: “Wake up.”
ED: “Why, what’s the matter?’
LOUIS: “The matter is, you kiss my fucking boyfriend, you tool.”
ED: “Louis, hey buddy.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, sure, I believe you. Drop the act, start explaining. I have five minutes before my
latte is announced and I have to drive to work.”
ED: “Five minutes, got it. Harry cheated on me and I wanted to make sure he wouldn’t cheat on
you so I kissed him and he did not kiss back, if anything he oft extremely pissed and hasn’t spoken
to me since. Is that five?”
LOUIS: (exasperated) “Why? Literally, why? Why did you feel the need?”
ED: “I’m sorry! I didn’t think it’d—“
LOUIS: “—completely backfire and make him think it was me who planned it and thus
completely endanger the state of our relationship, why do I feel like you did think that?”
ED: (frowns now) “Wait, you’re accusing me of wanting to break you up?”
LOUIS: “It sounds like it.”
ED: (all humor has dropped from his tone) “That’s not true. Even if I didn’t care about him and
you and even if I hadn’t seen how good you guys are for each other and even if I hadn’t been the
one to push you guys together in the first place, I wouldn’t do that. I’m not petty.”
LOUIS: (humming, trying to poke at him, not really doubting his statement) “You sure about
that?”
ED: “If you think I did it to steal him away from him, just hang up and never speak to me again.
God knows, he’s doing that.”
LOUIS: “Good for him.”
ED: “Yup. Enjoy your latte.”
LOUIS: “Don’t be a bitch. I barely slept last night because of you. The least you can do is
apologize.”
ED: “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause trouble. I’ll fuck off from your life. My bed is calling me.”
LOUIS: “You don’t sound too apologetic.”
ED: “You don’t sound too hurt.”
LOUIS: “He chose me over you.”
ED: “That wasn’t in question.”
LOUIS: “Our friendship seems to be.”
ED: “Somehow I don’t think that’s in question either. Why did you call, Louis?”
LOUIS: “To make sure you know that if you ever try something like that again…” (innocently)
“I’ll kill you. I don’t care if you meant well and I don’t care what he did or didn’t do.” (snappy)
“Don’t hurt him. I won’t have anyone hurting him. So if you ever make him cry again, I might
have to make you cry. Got that, home wrecker?”
ED: “I’m not—”
LOUIS: “Got it?”
ED: “…Yeah, fine. Works for me. That wasn’t what I wanted to do anyw—”
LOUIS: “Can’t care, latte’s here. By-ee!”
Scene 2
LOUIS: (entering Julian’s office) “Hey.”
JULIAN: (already in his seat) “Hello there…” (looks behind Louis) “Weren’t there supposed to be
two of you? Is there no boyfriend? Are you dating yourself?”
LOUIS: (cracks a half-smile) “Bingo, you got me. It is I who is dating me.” (sits down while
Julian laughs) “Boyfriend is on…vacation? I don’t know what he’s on if I’m being honest.”
JULIAN: “Uh-oh, that’s bad.”
LOUIS: “No, no. It’s ok.” (slumps in the couch, visibly more tired than usual) “It’s alright. He was
upset yesterday but he’ll be okay. I’ll make sure of it.”
JULIAN: “And you, are you gonna be okay?”
LOUIS: “I am okay. I got worried but it’s all solved now.”
JULIAN: “So we shouldn’t talk about it since you have it under control?”
LOUIS: (shrugs, staring at the ceiling) “He went to visit his ex. In New York.” (Julian hums
unsurely) “But that’s fine. That wasn’t a problem, I swear. I love his ex. He’s great…” (trails off,
slight frown on his face) “He was…um, I don’t know.”
JULIAN: “He was great? What happened?”
LOUIS: “He pulled this shit.” (shaking his head, trying to find ways to explain it) “He…” (opens
mouth, closes it) “He kissed him, Harry. As a joke, I mean, a test or whatever. He tried to, you
know, test him? See what he’d do and shit. It was dumb.”
JULIAN: (has gotten serious) “Not only that. It wasn’t right of him.”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “Yeah, it was just dumb and stuff. I mean, nothing happened—I didn’t think
anything would happen.”
JULIAN: “Are you approving of this?”
LOUIS: “No! Of course not. What kind of boyfriend would I be?” (seats up straighter, rambling
quicker) “Harry thought that too. He thought I set him up, like I fucking told him or something, Ed,
I mean. He thought I told him to go for it—which is…” (forced chuckle) “So stupid. I would
never.”
JULIAN: “You didn’t tell him…”
LOUIS: “No! I just said that. No. Why does everyone think that?”
JULIAN: “I don’t. I wanted to make sure. There’s no secrets here, Louis. At least not if you want
me to help properly. I wanted to make sure we were talking about an accident, not something you
regret doing, not guilt.”
LOUIS: “It’s not guilt. I have no guilt. I didn’t tell him. He acted on his own and I confronted him
about it today and we’re cool. He said he did it as a test and I believe him. I don’t care.”
JULIAN: “You should care.”
LOUIS: “Why? To be jealous for no reason? To feel threatened by someone I trust—who really
probably is the reason I came to my senses? To doubt my own boyfriend? I don’t want any of
those. I don’t care for those feelings. So I’m fine with it. It’s nothing.”
JULIAN: (cautiously) “Do you think there’s a part of you that’s…” (shrugs, pretending to just
have come up with this idea) “That’s happy.” (Louis looks confused) “About this.” (Louis opens his
mouth to protest) “Here me out. I’m not saying you planned it because you wanted this to happen.
I’m not saying that.”
LOUIS: “I didn’t.”
JULIAN: “I believe you. You wouldn’t. I’m asking you if you’re happy it happened. In hindsight.
If you’re relieved. If maybe the reason you don’t hold it against the ex-boyfriend is because you’re
happy with the result. Because it did more good than damage.”
LOUIS: “How? What good?”
JULIAN: “You know.”

LOUIS: (looking away, smiling sadly) “That I know for sure now?” (gulps) “That I’m absolutely
certain he won’t cheat on me because he didn’t do it with his ex and I know his ex is the one
person he holds dear and if he said no to Ed—to him—he’ll say no to anyone for me.”
JULIAN: “Does that feel good?”
LOUIS: “Sure. I mean, what, it wouldn’t for you? He loves me above all, that feels amazing. I’m
not gonna lie about it. But that doesn’t mean I wanted this to happen. I felt amazing without it too. I
trusted him. I didn’t need this to confirm it for me.”
JULIAN: “It’s just nice that it did.”
LOUIS: “It’s nice that he’s…consistent. Actions speak louder than words.”
JULIAN: (thinks on it, nodding silently, Louis is playing with his hands, getting more nervous
with the silence) “How’s Harry?”
LOUIS: “Hmm?”
JULIAN: “How did he take it? You said he thought it was you, that must have sucked.”
LOUIS: “Why? It was momentary. He believes me now.”
JULIAN: “Yeah, but I mean. Think about how horrible it would feel if you realised the person
you love, maybe two people he loves and cares about, both of them planing this backhanded way
of—”
LOUIS: “That’s not how it happened and that’s…mean. No one would do something like that.”
JULIAN: “He thought you did for a second.”
LOUIS: “That’s on him! I didn’t do it. He thought I was a bad person and I wasn’t—how’s this
me? Because I felt good that he didn’t go through with it I’m a shady fucker?”
JULIAN: (waits for him to finish the rant) “We’re not going the right direction. Let’s abort this
tangent, take a deep breath and try this again.”
LOUIS: (frustrated now) “It’s fine. That was fine. I was over it. I’m not here to talk about that. I
didn’t even want to bring it up. It happened. It’s gone. What. Ever.”
JULIAN: (dry) “Yeah, you seem over it.”
LOUIS: (caught off guard, can’t help but grin) “Don’t be sarcastic. You’re a shrink.” (bigger grin)
“You’re supposed to be comforting me.”
JULIAN: “I’m trying.”
LOUIS: “Try better.”
JULIAN: (smiles) “Ok, let’s try better together.”
LOUIS: “What should I be saying?”
JULIAN: “What you feel like saying.”

LOUIS: “What are you trying to get me to realize though? You do that thing where you talk me
into an epiphany. Let’s cut it short. What’s the epiphany?”
JULIAN: “I think it’s less effective if I tell you.”
LOUIS: “Road trips are better if you have a destination in mind.”
JULIAN: “I thought road trips were about the journey, what you discover along the way.”
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes) “Fine. Bad example. Plane trips.”
JULIAN: “Plane trips just suck.”
LOUIS: “As do these sessions. Spill it. Where are we going, Jul?”
JULIAN: “Fine. I only wanted to make sure you knew that your feelings aren’t the only ones that
could have been hurt in this experiment and that even if you’re okay, Harry might not be. And you
should be there for him, instead of focusing on how he made you the bad guy or how you had no
hand in this and therefore don’t owe him anything.”
LOUIS: “I know that. I know he’s sad. And hurt. I heard it yesterday when he called me. I know
he’s broken up about it and I’m okay knowing that and supporting him. I want to. I will. It’s just
hard with the distance…over phone.”
JULIAN: “I get that.”
LOUIS: “When he’s back, I will. I’ll talk it out with him. I’ll make sure he knows I never doubt
him.” (small, insecure shrug) “And if I have to, I’ll tell him how it felt for me too, I’ll let him
know that it felt nice and I’m sorry if it did because it wasn’t nice at all for him. I’ll do something
extra nice to make it up.”
JULIAN: “That got soft quickly.” (teasing) “It’ll be interesting to see the both of you in the same
room. Are you constantly marshmallow fluff around him?”
LOUIS: “Shut up. This is why you won’t see us together.”
JULIAN: (raises an eyebrow) “Oh? You changed your mind about it?”
LOUIS: “Not quite. I have a better idea.”
JULIAN: “Better idea. Wow, let’s hear it. You’re full of those.”
LOUIS: “We’re going back home.”
JULIAN: “Your home?”
LOUIS: “Yes. I’m taking him back home and it will be an all-inclusive, all informative, all-
immersive experience. I won’t need to tell him. He’ll know just by being there. He’ll get the
picture.”
JULIAN: (less sure now) “Wow, that’s—that’s a lot.” (not nearly as confident as Louis about the
plan) “When was the last time you were home?”
LOUIS: “Like eight years ago, ages. I literally had to get my mom’s address again to make sure
they hadn’t moved.”
JULIAN: “And you wanna go back?” (Louis nods) “With Harry?” (Louis nods again, grins, Julian
nods) “Um, won’t that be…intense?”
LOUIS: “That’s the hope. It’ll finish everything.”
JULIAN: “Finish everything, I don’t think I know what that means. What needs to be finished?”
LOUIS: “This story, this backstory, about me and home and being, you know, gay and stuff. It
was a whole long backstory and this is an end and it’ll be a climax, I’m sure.”
JULIAN: (between amused and worried) “You’re fabricating your life into a story arc?”
LOUIS: “Look, I don’t know shit about story arcs but I also don’t know if I can tell this story and
if I’m there, he’ll know it, I know.”
JULIAN: “Because he’ll see it.”
LOUIS: “Yeah! He’ll understand. I won’t have to tell him because he’ll get it. And I’ll get it. It
will be good for me too. Both of us.”
JULIAN: “Won’t it be overwhelming?”
LOUIS: “Maybe a little.”
JULIAN: “That’s a lot of exposure. You haven’t seen these places and people in a while and to be
there again, get it all at once, with Harry, with his emotions for you, with your relationship, it’ll be
a lot, Louis.”
LOUIS: “It will be but it’ll be quick too. And this thing has to be quick.”
JULIAN: “Why? People need time. They go through therapy a little slower than this. They don’t
just run in the mouth of their trauma.”
LOUIS: “They’re not as brave as me.”
JULIAN: (quick sad chuckle) “What’s the big hurry?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “I want it over with.”
JULIAN: “Why?”
LOUIS: “To better enjoy him. If I get this over with I can finally start my life with him. I can
finally be completely open and maybe I’ll still have knots and shit but we can figure that out
together. He’ll help.”
JULIAN: “He’s gonna be there for years to come from the sounds of it, why race to that finish line
now?”
LOUIS: “It’s not a finish line. It’s a beginning. A doorway. And I want it now because he wants it
now. He’s getting restless, I can tell. I need to do it now or I might…” (awkward shrug that’s more
like a squirm) “I might never get a chance to. I might lose him.”
Scene 3
ED: (entering the room, somber) “Are you ready to talk to me now?”
HARRY: (sitting on the couch he slept in, covers on his mid section) “I guess.”
ED: (sad smile as he rounds the couch to sit down) “You’re gonna have to at some point. Or
dinner might get awkward.”
HARRY: “Yeah… I should leave soon.”
ED: “When’s your ticket?”
HARRY: “Tomorrow. But maybe I should leave today. Maybe I shouldn’t have come.”
ED: “Don’t be like this. A day is nothing. Don’t move shit around because of me. I’ll leave you
alone to do whatever you had planned to do that last day. And you’re more than welcome here.
You can even get the bed. I’ll sleep in the couch.”
HARRY: “No, it’s ok. The couch was fine. Thanks for the covers.”
ED: (awkward silence) “I’m sorry.”
HARRY: “I knew you’d say that.”
ED: “I think a lot of people did. It’s what I’m supposed to be saying.”
HARRY: “Is that why you’re saying it? Because it’s the line?”
ED: “No, I’m saying it because I mean it. I am sorry. I crossed the line yesterday.”
HARRY: (sarcastic) “You think?”
ED: “Don’t get me wrong I don’t regret testing you.” (Harry shakes his head in disbelief but
refuses to look anywhere but the blank TV ahead) “I just regret doing it like that. I shouldn’t have
touched you. It was wrong. I’m not about that. So I’m sorry for doing it.”
HARRY: (shrugs, mean chuckle) “You’re not about assaulting me but you’re about being a shitty
friend.”
ED: “I didn’t mean harm.”
HARRY: “You know it’s weird. This thing we have, this friendship, after all that happened, with
you, with Zayn, with Louis and us in Gemma’s wedding, it’s all weird to me. And then you and
Louis being friends. I don’t know, I don’t get it. It’s not right.”
ED: “Life’s confusing. Sometimes shit happens. I’m not gonna stop caring about you because
mistakes were made.”
HARRY: “Mistakes were made. Nice. Passive voice, no subject. I made mistakes. I made a
mistake not telling you the minute I started falling for Zayn and I made a huge mistake cheating on
you. And in our relationship, we both made a ton of mistakes.”
ED: (joking) “I love reliving it.”

HARRY: “I don’t want you to. I’m just saying it’s not…we can try to make this work between all
of us but at some point…” (stops, it’s clear he’s hurting and forcing himself to make this decision)
“At some point we need…at some point we need to be ex-s, Ed. You and me, we had something
and now we don’t and that’s how it will always be. At least for a bit. We need to be bitter and be
distant and be not together for a bit. It’s the right thing to do.”
ED: “Haven’t we already been bitter? Haven’t we been passed that?” (frowning) “We did the
distance. You know what that was like, it sucked. And we decided that it wasn’t right and that we
wanted to be friends. We are friends. What I did yesterday, that yeah, I’m sorry, but I wasn’t trying
to stop being friends with you—I wasn’t trying to skip ranks and want something more, come on,
you can’t possibly believe that. We’re both over it.”
HARRY: “I know we are.”
ED: “Then why are you forcing me to lose you again?”
HARRY: (blinks, winces, gulps, curls into himself) “Because it’s good for us.”
ED: “How?”
HARRY: “We’re over it and it’s all over, yes. But I can’t…be around you like this and you can’t
either. It’s not the same as Liam and Hunter and Sandy. We’re not that sort of friends. There’ll
always be an edge. Whether you want to or not, you’ll always hurt me more than others because
that’s—it’s a normal thing. It’s from the old times. I love you, not like Louis at all, but not like
Liam either. It’s strange and it hasn’t healed and we need to heal so we need to be apart for
longer.”
ED: “Right, I get it. I’m just…” (chuckles painfully) “And I know you’ll make fun of me for this
because it’s ridiculous, I know, I hate myself too…but, but I guess…” (emotional, opens his mouth,
struggles, shakes his head, finally) “You gave Zayn that chance. To be your friend, to keep you
close, to continue doing everything he did with you as a friend even after, even after the love and
the strangeness, you gave him the chance and I fucking hate that I can’t get over this too—trust me,
I cringe every time I mention it and fine, I agree, distance is good but it’s unfair, that’s all. It’s
always been unfair between us.”
HARRY: (nods, shuts his eyes for a second, takes a deep breath) “You’re right.” (Ed sniffles
lightly) “He needs to go too.”
ED: “What?”
HARRY: “If I am to be healthy mentally and have a healthy relationship, he needs to go too. Not
forever, and you don’t need to go forever either, I’ll always care about both of you, but you can’t
be around now. You can’t be on the stage with me and Louis because it’s not your place. I need to
figure things out with Lou and this is about the two of us doing it with each other without anyone
else to talk to and whine to and rant to. Just me and him. So, so I think it’s good if I pull away.”
ED: (in his thoughts as Harry shuffles from under the blanket to stand up) “And you’ll be happy?”
HARRY: “Yeah.” (stands in front of Ed until Ed stands as well) “And more importantly, you
won’t have to constantly worry about it anymore. It won’t have to be your job to lose sleep over it.”
ED: (sighs deeply, spreads his arms for a hug) “I still better get an invite to the wedding.”
HARRY: (hugs him back, holding him tightly for a second, eyes shut) “You will.” (quieter) “You
will.” (as they stand there, hugging) “It’s more proper this way, isn’t it?”
ED: (kisses Harry’s hair) “What?”
HARRY: “The good-bye. No last time sex, no crying, no bullshit. It’s more real.”
ED: (pulls away, only slightly teary-eyed) “Don’t go home without seeing NYU one last time. It
might be the perfect place to escape Zayn.” (Harry chuckles) “And Louis will probably love
Broadway.”
HARRY: (smiles happily) “Yeah, probably.”

Ask Me
Chapter 119: Ask Me
HARRY: (opens the door to his room) “Honey, I’m home?”
LOUIS: (smiling wide but not inching from the bed to say hi) “Dumb.”
HARRY: (laughs) “I’m sorry for wanting to be sweet.”
LOUIS: “Don’t be sorry, be original.”
HARRY: “Alright.” (throws his jacket on the floor but keeps the beanie on his head, pops off his
shoes) “How’s this, I know you missed me, you dork, so if you’re not in my arms in five seconds
—”
LOUIS: (smirks) “What? What will you do? You have no leverage here.” (crawls off the bed,
smile permanently glued to his face) “I have all the power.”
HARRY: (pretends to think on it) “True, I guess.” (spreads his arms for a hug, motions for Louis
to come, Louis stays put) “Please? I remember you used to like me saying that.” (half to himself)
“Old you was perverted as hell.”
LOUIS: “Old you didn’t even say ‘hell’.”
HARRY: “Old you thought I was sweet and innocent.”
LOUIS: “Old you thought women had munginas.”
HARRY: “Old you thought you liked munginas.”
LOUIS: (speechless, blushing) “Shut up, idiot.” (walks into the hug) “Old you was the bane of my
existence—didn’t even know what a freaking hairband was.”
HARRY: (hugging him tightly, nuzzling him) “Yeah, I did.”
LOUIS: “No, you didn’t.”
HARRY: “What if I told you… I did that on purpose?” (Louis’ eyes widen) “So you could touch
me.”
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes) “I’d call you out on your bluff. You didn’t know sneaky shit back then. I
taught you the ways of manipulation.”
HARRY: “But, I did though…I was a little monster inside, remember? I manipulated your
manipulation.”
LOUIS: “Stop. You were uncool. I was cool. Accept it. You can’t change the story this much.”
HARRY: (laughs, kisses Louis’ forehead, affectionately) “I guess we’ll never know the truth.”
LOUIS: “We do know. You sucked.”

HARRY: (lower, seductively) “And here I was convinced you knew what happened when you
underestimated me.”
LOUIS: (licking his lips) “What?”
HARRY: (picks Louis up by his thighs, Louis yelps, clinging to Harry’s neck, Harry throws him
on the bed, climbs on top of a laughing Louis) “This.” (kiss close but no kissing) “Or better this…”
LOUIS: “Fair play.” (cradling Harry’s face with his hands) “What next?”
HARRY: “You tell me, beautiful.”
LOUIS: (eyes lidded, lips wet) “Surprise me some more.”
HARRY: (gives him a soft, lingering kiss, whispered between their mouths, a secret) “Would it be
a surprise if you expected it?” (kisses Louis’ jaw, making a wet trail for the spot under his ear) “If
you asked for it?”
LOUIS: (shutting his eyes, relaxing on the bed) “I haven’t asked for anything yet.” (hands running
down Harry’s back softly, Harry hums) “I missed you.”
HARRY: (longing) “You have no idea how much I missed you.” (raises his head to look at Louis
again, touch Louis’ eyebrows, his nose, his lips) “All I thought about was you. Everything was
you.”
LOUIS: “With a side of Ed—”
HARRY: “Stop.” (kisses him swiftly, smiles faintly) “I don’t wanna think about that right now. I
have my boy right here. That’s all that matters.” (loving with a side of sad) “I never wanna leave
you again.”
LOUIS: (pulls him forward for a deeper and longer kiss that gets frantic as the two move against
each other, giggle, moan, Louis pulls away to say) “That’d be preferable, yes.” (bites his lip
teasingly) “Have my kisses improved?”
HARRY: “What?”
LOUIS: “Since the beginning, when I first did one, have I gotten better at doing it?”
HARRY: “Well, the bar was set terribly low.”
LOUIS: “Harry!”
HARRY: “I’m joking, I’m joking.” (fond) “You have.”
LOUIS: “You’re such a dick.”
HARRY: “Of course, there’s much more to learn so don’t get too cocky. You’re not a master of
the craft yet.”
LOUIS: “Yet, I managed to make this happen.” (moves his thigh against Harry’s hard-on,
teasing) “You brought me a gift?”
HARRY: “Yeah, why don’t you go check what it is?”

LOUIS: “I have a feeling I can guess without checking.”
HARRY: “I have a feeling you should check anyway.”
LOUIS: “If you insist.” (slides his hand between their bodies to cup Harry in his hand) “Hmm,
what could this be—”
HARRY: (shuts him up with a kiss, rolls them around so Louis is on top, Louis pulls away from
the kiss, sort of lost) “What? Now you can explore better.” (winks at Louis who smacks him lightly
on the stomach) “And…” (more genuine now) “I want you to be in charge.”
LOUIS: (buries his trepidation under sarcasm) “You want the guy who has never seen an asshole
to lead the exhibition deep into one? That’s like cave diving with someone who can’t hold his
breath.”
HARRY: (not fazed) “What can I say, I love adventure.” (pulls Louis’ shirt so Louis lowers for a
kiss again; it’s short, distracted) “Relax.”
LOUIS: “That’s the most unhelpful thing to say to someone who is stressing—” (Harry kisses him,
muffles the sentence) “—op that. I’m trying to—” (another kiss, Louis is adorably frustrated)
“Harry, I’m trying—”
HARRY: “To overthink it? Yes, I know. I’m trying to prevent you from doing that.” (hands on
Louis’ waist) “We’re kissing. That’s all. You’re a pro at that, aren’t you? Didn’t we just establish
that?”
LOUIS: (unsold) “But?”
HARRY: (uses his hands to pull Louis’ body forward so Louis’ butt grinds on Harry’s hard-on,
Harry arches beneath him) “It’s that easy to please me. Don’t overthink it. Please.” (fingers
trailing up Louis’ shirt slowly) “Anything will get me there because it’s you. You could look at me
and I’d come undone.” (Louis smiles) “So don’t panic. Do whatever feels good.”
LOUIS: (grins) “Don’t panic when I have creepy fetishes.”
HARRY: “I don’t judge, underwear boy.”
LOUIS: “God, plenty of reminiscing today. What happened, grandpa? Visiting your old battle
fields got you telling war stories?”
HARRY: (in between lazy kisses) “I had a lot of time on the plane to re-play our story in my
mind.”
LOUIS: “Ugh, barf.”
HARRY: (ignoring him) “Shut up and kiss me.”
LOUIS: (between kissing and laughing) “How did you know that was one of my fetishes?”
HARRY: “Being ordered around—oh love, who doesn’t know?” (groping Louis’ ass as he talks)
“Someone as uptight and mouthy as you probably needs a bit of discipline.”
LOUIS: “Ohh-kay, Christian Gray.” (aside, to himself) “That rhymes.” (back to Harry) “I was
talking about the puking and kissing but wow, I see where your mind’s at. I’ll let you know my ass
is sacred ground.”
HARRY: (scrunching his face playfully) “Mine isn’t that much.”
LOUIS: “Right.”
HARRY: (shrugs, cheeky smirk) “I’m just saying. Mine is just a peasant ass so feel very, very free
to have your way with it.”
LOUIS: “If you continue like this, I will take that offer and slap you.”
HARRY: “That’s fun! We could do that…But, consider this…butt sex.”
LOUIS: “Styles!”
HARRY: “Ooh! Last names. Formal.” (narrowly catching Louis’ hand before it smacks his face)
“Sexy.” (holding both Louis’ hands, yanks him forward, kisses him, Louis kisses back, makes to
escape Harry’s grasp, Harry holds tight, Louis gasps lightly as Harry deepens the kiss, biting
Louis’ lower lip when he breaks it) “You’re so sexy.”
LOUIS: (breathless) “Let me touch you.” (Harry resists letting go) “Come on.”
HARRY: “Will you admit you like it?”
LOUIS: “What?”
HARRY: “This.”
LOUIS: (blushes bright red) “Fuck no.”
HARRY: (arches his body, rocks against Louis) “Your lower half says otherwise.”
LOUIS: (flushes further) “Assface.” (Harry laughs, lets go of his wrists) “What, you expect me to
stay soft when I have you like this?”
HARRY: “You don’t wanna know what I expect you to do.” (pushes his hand underneath Louis’
sweatpants, Louis gulps, bites his lip) “Commando. Pleasantly surprised.”
LOUIS: (voice huskier, deeper) “Can’t say—” (light, tight-lipped mood) “I am…hmm.”
HARRY: “Come here.” (when Louis tries to lower for a kiss, Harry shakes his head, stopping him,
Harry’s hands slide behind to rest on Louis’ butt and inch him forward) “Like that.”
LOUIS: “Oh. Like the first time?” (Harry nods, Louis shuffles down so he’s sitting on Harry’s
chest, as much as he’s trying to sound casual, the excitement and horniness in his voice is obvious)
“Why do you like this so much anyway?”
HARRY: “I get to see all of you at once.” (hand inside Louis’ sweats again, slowly pulling Louis
out of them for a better look) “I can make sure you’re doing nothing but enjoying it.
LOUIS: (holding his breath as Harry slides his hand up and down a few times, Louis tries spitting
from where he’s sitting and barely misses so it rolls down the side) “Shit.”
HARRY: (laughs, using his hand to gather the spit and slide it up Louis’ dick) “We’ll practice
some more. You’ll get it eventually.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, yeah, shut up.”
HARRY: “Make me.” (Louis looks at his own dick then Harry, Harry blinks not-so innocently at
him, licking his lips) “Get creative.”
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes, dramatic) “Christ.”
HARRY: “Did you just take the name of our—”
LOUIS: “Enough, enough. I get it. You went over every line I’ve ever said to you. Shut up.”
(positions himself closer to Harry’s lips, Harry puts out his tongue teasingly, eyes daring) “You’re
so goddamn annoying…”
HARRY: (licks the tip of Louis’ dick, going as slow as possible, savoring more than the moment)
“I like when you’re pissy.”
LOUIS: “Less speak. More dick suck.”
HARRY: “Classy.” (wraps his lips around Louis, as Louis subconsciously moves closer to slide
deeper, equally blushed and cocky—pun intended, Louis moans and fumbles to touch Harry’s hair,
notices the beanie, rips it off, frozen in shock, Harry pulls away to quickly fumble with his words)
“Okay—wait! Wait, before we freak out about this, we’re fooling around—this is about the
blowjob. Let’s remember that.”
LOUIS: “What the fuck?!” (louder, almost singsong) “What the fuuuuuuck?!” (climbs off of
Harry in surprise, dick still semi-out, hands on his mouth) “What is this? What is this ?”
HARRY: (sheepish) “I cut my hair.”
LOUIS: “You didn’t…”
HARRY: “I um, chopped it off.”
LOUIS: “No.”
HARRY: “I donated it if that makes it better? I gave it away. So others can have it.”
LOUIS: “No.”
HARRY: “I did.”
LOUIS: (bemoaning) “Your beautiful locks, your long, soft, gentle, adorable locks.” (falls back on
the bed, raises his head as if to check again) “Noooo.” (dramatic theatrical sobbing) “It’s not even
April’s Fools yet.”
HARRY: “It’s…I…” (touching his hair self-consciously) “Wanted a change…I thought it would
be good to change…” (sighs, makes a wincing face) “It’s a lot, I know.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, no shit. You have like zero hair—two hair maybe. You had millions.” (staring at
Harry silently for a few seconds before shaking his head) “It’s so weird! Who even are you
without your hair?”
HARRY: (shoulders slumping) “So no hope of getting back to the fun part of the night… Well, I
guess we’d have to do this at some point.”
LOUIS: “Is that why you were wearing this dumb beanie?”
HARRY: (mumbled) “It’s not dumb.”
LOUIS: “You expected to have something on your head forever? I watch you come out of the
shower, you know?”
HARRY: “I wasn’t expecting…I wanted, I don’t know, I wasn’t used to it myself. It was so quick
and I needed a few days to get used to my face being so…” (motioning to his face) “Out there,
pimples and receding hairline and giant forehead and all. With nothing to hide behind.”
LOUIS: (not even listening to Harry’s words, still in his own surprise) “I don’t even know how to
can. I’m in shock.” (looks at his semi-hard boner, tucks himself in) “He’s in shock too.”
HARRY: (pouting) “I’m sorry.”
LOUIS: “Don’t be.”
HARRY: “It was a last minute decision. I wanted something new. Summer’s coming and I wanted,
I don’t know, it was dumb. I wanted to be new, on the outside to reflect—I don’t know. God, it’s
so dumb.” (more insecure about it in) “Is it bad? Does it look bad?”
LOUIS: (half-laugh before noticing Harry’s face, sobers up) “It’s…different. It’s a shocker.”
HARRY: (sighs again, looks down) “Fuck.” (palming his face) “It’s a mess, I knew it.”
LOUIS: “No, no.” (sits up, serious now that he sees the damage) “No. It’s fine. It’s good. It looks
good.”
HARRY: (from behind his hands) “You lost a boner over it.”
LOUIS: “I lost a boner because of the shock. I almost went into cardiac arrest.” (Harry lowers his
hands to give him an unimpressed look) “What? Ever since I met you—all I knew about you was
princess curls and sloppy man buns. I couldn’t imagine you without and now I’m looking at it and
okay, if I’m honest, it’s strange.”
HARRY: (deflates, sad) “Right.”
LOUIS: (quickly) “But in a new way. You’re completely new now, like you wanted.” (places his
hand on Harry’s knee) “And there’s nothing wrong with that. I have recreated myself and my look
a million times over. It’s healthy to change the outside when you feel like the inside has changed as
well. It’s a new beginning.”
HARRY: “I don’t want you to think—”
LOUIS: “It has nothing to do with what I think. Your decision. Your hair. You do what makes you
happy and this obviously did until I ruined it for you.”
HARRY: “I want you to like it.”
LOUIS: “I do. In a different way. You’re like…clean-cut and grown-up…hot.”

HARRY: “You’re lying…”
LOUIS: “No! You look like a Hollywood actor. You look like you’re about to star in a fucking
movie and walk on a Oscar red carpet.” (chuckles to himself at the thought, Harry’s can barely re-
arrange the flinch on his face into a neutral look) “You look good, okay, babe? Anything looks
good on you. Those features are too perfect to be ruined by anything like a hairstyle. If anything, I
can see them more now. You’re all green eyes and pink lips. I’m dazzled.” (sing-song)
“Swooning.”
HARRY: (thinks on it) “Okay.” (nodding to himself) “Okay, that’s good. I didn’t want to be less
like…attractive for you.” (more embarrassed, confessing) “I don’t want you to stop…uhh, like
being turned on by me.”
LOUIS: (too quickly) “I’m not. It’s hot.” (blushing) “Like really hot. Like I’d let you maybe smack
my bum hot.”
HARRY: (rolls his eyes) “Don’t push it.”
LOUIS: (silently crawls on Harry’s lap, straddling him on the bed) “Haz, look…” (holds Harry’s
face before slowly touching his hair, fluffing it up before fixing it again) “I’m not gonna pretend
this isn’t a big thing because it is, for you too I think. You’re going through something big and—”
(shushing Harry mid-way through an apology) “Before you say sorry, I’m happy to be here and see
it. I’ve seen you change so much since I met you and it has never disappointed me so I can’t wait
for you to blow me away again.”
Action!
Chapter 120: Action!
Scene 1: Roll Camera.
ZAYN: (both smoking in Zayn’s balcony after work, watching the sunset while drinking canned
beer) “So long story short, it was a mess and I was right. Again. I’m so painfully correct all the
time.”
HARRY: “Sure. Something like that.”
ZAYN: “I told you not to go.” (shaking his head) “Sleeping at his place, alone, recipe for disaster,
that was. He’s a marshmallow when it comes to you. Melts all over your fingers. Gooey. Sugary.
Ew.”
HARRY: (slight smile) “Come on. Give him some credit.”
ZAYN: “How? He hasn’t proven anything.”
HARRY: “He didn’t…” (inhales, makes a thoughtful face, lets it go) “It doesn’t matter. I’m glad I
went.”
ZAYN: “Because of NYU? How was that? Was it cool? Did your mind change, my frosh friend?”
HARRY: “No. I mean, I’m glad about that too. I got to see some of the campus but my mind had
been pretty set already on that issue.” (Zayn seems against the decision but doesn’t speak) “I’m
glad I got to see Ed one last time.”
ZAYN: “Last time? Is he dead? Did you kill him? He owes me ten bucks so he better not be dead.”
HARRY: (joking) “He’s dead to me.”
ZAYN: “Woof, that bad, huh? What’d he do?”
HARRY: “Tried to kiss me. Well, did kiss me. But it was with pure intentions, according to him.”
ZAYN: “What kind of pure intentions were those?”
HARRY: “To check if I’d cheat on Louis.”
ZAYN: “That sounds sketch. And like, a lie.”
HARRY: “I believe him, I guess.
ZAYN: “Really?”
ZAYN: “Harry, he’s always like this—”
HARRY: (shushing him) “No, no. Like, I don’t know if I do but I also don’t care. Anymore. I
don’t care about this annoying thing we three do or have done in the past. I just…let’s not. No
point.”
ZAYN: “I’m just saying.”
HARRY: “Don’t you get tired of hating him?”
ZAYN: “Surprisingly not, very easy to do. Almost second nature. A hobby of mine. I have it down
on my resume.”
HARRY: (rolls his eyes, smiles lightly) “I think it’s good that we all move on from that drama and
try to live our lives.”
ZAYN: “And we have.”
HARRY: “No, but seriously, actively move on. Because it’s old news now, you know? I almost
never think about it and even when I do, I have zero hard feelings. I don’t feel like crying anymore.
That sounds to me like I’m finally done with it.”
ZAYN: “I’m happy to hear that.”
HARRY: “But it makes it hard to live not in the past when I get brought back and…” (how to
phrase this? he doesn’t know) “And I fully realize at this point that what happened was more my
fault than your guys’ fault, like…maybe entirely my fault. I made the situation so complicated and
made you guys stop being best friends.”
ZAYN: “You didn’t. No one had any control of how things went. I appreciate you trying to take
responsibility but no use being a martyr. Don’t be so quick to fall on the sword.”
HARRY: “I’m taking responsibility. That’s how accepting works.”
ZAYN: “Ed was wrong in keeping you isolated and being super jealous. I was wrong in being
equally possessive and agreeing to sleep with you when you guys were still dating. You were
wrong in…well, probably enjoying all of that happening. That was probably wrong.” (Harry
winces, Zayn shrugs) “It was just a cocktail of fuck.”
HARRY: “Exactly. It was. I think that’s a good review of it.”
ZAYN: “I’ve worked to make it more concise every single time I talk about it.”
HARRY: “We should stop talking about it.”
ZAYN: “I mean, no hard feelings, you said.”
HARRY: “What I was trying to say is, um…” (pauses for a few seconds to debate how to say it)
“What I told Ed, when the whole kiss happened—”
ZAYN: “You should have told him to fuck off.” (Harry gives him a look) “Sorry for interjecting.”
HARRY: “I did. Don’t you worry. But what I told him—”
ZAYN: “Good for you.”
HARRY: “Zayn, let me speak.”

ZAYN: “Sorry.”
HARRY: “I told him that at the end of the day, he was my ex and it’s probably good that we try to
be ex-s first, for some time, before we try to be friends again, and even after all that, best friends.
That’s the proper way of doing it.”
ZAYN: “Isn’t that what you actually did do?”
HARRY: “We took the shortcut from love to hate to love to hate again. It unsurprisingly led back
to square one. I think it’s best if we did it the long way.”
ZAYN: “Which means what exactly?”
HARRY: “Distance, mostly. Distance is good.”
ZAYN: “Agreed on that. I think that’s what I was getting you to do before you met Louis.
Painfully correct!” (Harry looks wary, Zayn sobers up) “But I guess it wasn’t the right time.”
HARRY: “And the thing is…”
ZAYN: “Yeah?”
HARRY: (more nervous as seen by how many times he opens and closes his mouth wordlessly)
“You are…kind of…my ex.”
ZAYN: (more amused than serious) “What? Because we fucked once?”
HARRY: “No, yes, kinda. I mean—”
ZAYN: “Harry, be serious.”
HARRY: “I am. I really am. We used to joke about how we did everything a couple would do,
everything but sex. We were there for each other like a couple would. We hung out all the time like
a couple would. We were…” (hurts even saying it) “Dependent…in a way, like couples are. And at
the end of it, we had sex and I know that it didn’t mean the same thing for you that it did for me
but it was still something. A moment we shared. A line, we maybe crossed.”
ZAYN: (still reeling from the change in conversation) “Is this…This is very new and I’m starting
to wonder if Ed put you up to this. Or maybe Louis. Because if he feels threatened by our
relationship, and what we once were, I see a problem in your near future. Shades of Eddie.”
HARRY: “He didn’t. He never mentions it. I think Louis knows by now he’s my baby and that’s
not likely to change anytime in this lifetime. I’m the one that mentioned it—noticed it. It’s…this
me that feels threatened.”
ZAYN: (frowning in confusion) “You’re gonna need to be better at explaining it if I am to count as

your ex.”
HARRY: (a bit frustrated with himself) “This…who—who I’ve become, at least, who I am
becoming—who I want to be…worries that…”
ZAYN: (sad laugh, hurt) “I’m holding you back? Like Ed used to say? But Ed didn’t plant this
seed? You just coincidentally happened to come back from seeing him with this epiphany?”
HARRY: “No. Not that. Forget about Ed for a second and what he used to say. This isn’t about
him being right or you being right, though it’s probably the second if it were to be. You told me
yourself, that day, when I was being really, really bad and cringy, that I need to branch out, find
friends and rely on you less.”
ZAYN: “And you’ve done that!”
HARRY: “I know!”
ZAYN: “So what? You’re an adult now who wants to be all grown up and you think the only way
to do that is to kick all of us to the curb so you convince yourself you’re strong enough to stand on
your own? You can know that without having it tested, Harry. You don’t have to be alone first, to
realize you can be.”
HARRY: “Sometimes you do.”
ZAYN: “Sounds to me like you’re all about Louis now. Which isn’t really new, just
disappointing.”
HARRY: “Stop, enough. I’m not. I’m about me. I’m trying to tell you that and you’re resisting.
You’re trying to misunderstand.”
ZAYN: “I’m trying to understand.”
HARRY: “By relating it to something that I did in the past, or I used to be in the past. That’s not…
It’s different. Don’t drag me back there.”
ZAYN: “I’m not, I’m pointing out similarities. You’re at the peak of your relationship and I’m
super happy for you. It makes me as giddy as you to see you like this again, hopeful and smitten
and ready to take on the world. It sucked to have you suffer. But I’m worried because things get
complicated and you need friends in your life. It’s not all about Lou.”
HARRY: “I will have friends. I agree. I need and want friends beyond Lou.”
ZAYN: “But not me? Because I don’t count as a friend. Because we slept together.” (gulping the
anger away) “That’s really a fucked up way to go about this, considering I did that because I was
your friend—your best friend. I was a good friend and in the process did something that now
eliminates me from the title.”
HARRY: “You still are my friend. Best friend. You still will be. I’m just trying to get a bit more
space, that’s all.” (touching his hair anxiously) “I’m not explaining this well. I don’t wanna lose
you forever. I do wanna have a healthy relationship with you. And you have agree with that, that
we haven’t been the most healthy friends.” (Zayn shrugs) “I want to fix that. I want to keep you
around but in a way that lets us both be happy and be better people. Is that so wrong of me?”
ZAYN: “No, I guess not. It’s fair. But it’s also hard. We’ve grown up together and unfortunately,
grown into each other, being together all the time had a big impact on who we became. We
indulged each other—sometimes a little too much.” (Harry nods) “And, and you’re right, we need
to take a step back but that doesn’t mean I won’t care for you and watch out for you and call you
every once in a while just to check up on you.”
HARRY: (smiles) “Let’s not get too drastic here.”

ZAYN: (after a few minutes where both light up a second cigarette, Zayn speaks up, vulnerable) “I
hope you haven’t outgrown me.”
HARRY: “Impossible.”
ZAYN: (looking at the sky) “I think you’ve outgrown Disney.”
HARRY: (laughs) “I think we all have.”
ZAYN: “But you have an opportunity to get out.”
HARRY: “You first, old man. You got here before me. I follow your lead, remember?”
ZAYN: “Not anymore. You follow your own lead now. Don’t sell yourself short, that’s all. If I’m
allowed to give you one last final advice…” (Harry rolls his eyes) “Don’t pick the same, pick
different. Days don’t change much here, day in, day out. It’s limbo, a really nice, well-paid limbo,
narrated by candle-holders and flying elephants, but limbo nonetheless. We’re all just waiting for
our exit into the future. And you might be missing yours if you don’t act.”
Scene 2: Camera Speed, Hit It.
HARRY: (walking in the room, back from work, smile on his face) “Lou-ee, love. How was your
day off? Got some sleep?”
LOUIS: (standing next to the desk where the laptop sits, one hand on it, the other on his waist)
“Do you know that feeling when you’re so angry, you’re actually calm?”
HARRY: “Uh…?”
LOUIS: “I am that right now. So furious, I’m having a moment of clarity.”
HARRY: (worried, smile dropped off his face to concern) “Lou…”
LOUIS: “So, in order for me to best take advantage of it I will have you sit here and actually
accept this offer of admission and then we’ll hash it out. How does that sound?”
HARRY: (shoulders slump in realization) “Lou, I was gonna tell you.”
LOUIS: “Where you? Hard to believe.”
HARRY: (caught off guard) “I was. I…I…thought, I wanted to see first—”
LOUIS: “See what? I don’t get what was there to be seen before you could just say, hey, boyfriend
who I love and live with, who cares a lot about me and my life and what I ended up doing with that
last thing, I did this thing, this life-changing important thing. I’m not sure what to do now but these
are the options.”
HARRY: (still hasn’t recovered enough for an explanation) “I know, I was—I didn’t want to—”
LOUIS: “Give me an opportunity to have an opinion on this. Isn’t that the point of being together?
You told Zayn. You probably told Ed. You told everyone important to you because this was
important. Why wasn’t I one of those people?”
HARRY: (desperate) “You were—You are, you’re the most important! That’s the point!”
LOUIS: “Shut up. Just. Shut your mouth and come accept the offer so I can literally tear you to
shreds.”
HARRY: “I’m not going to.”
LOUIS: “Yes, you are.”
HARRY: “I’m not going.”
LOUIS: “Yes, you are!”
HARRY: “I’ve decided. When I went this week to check it out, I decided it’s not the right time.”
LOUIS: “What?”
HARRY: “I don’t even know why I applied in the first place. I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry for all
this. It could have been avoided.”
LOUIS: “You’re sorry for applying? Out of everything, that’s the sorry you’ll give me?”
HARRY: “You deserve more.”
LOUIS: “I don’t give a fuck right now about all that.”
HARRY: “I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for not telling you. I’m sorry we’re arguing. I’m
sorry I didn’t discuss it better. I’m sorry I lied about things.”
LOUIS: “You’re not though. You would have rather I never found out. You’d have been happy
with that.”
HARRY: (silent, half-nod) “I didn’t want you to worry about it.”
LOUIS: “You’re ridiculous. This wasn’t even a mistake. You deliberately lied to me.”
HARRY: “If I decided I didn’t want to go and never told you, it’d be like nothing happened.”
LOUIS: “No, it would not. At all. First, because you’d have made a big fucking mistake and
second, because you’d have regretted it and I’d have to deal with that, inevitably, and it’d be a
fucking mess. This fight was unavoidable.”
HARRY: “I wouldn’t regret it. It’s about priorities.”
LOUIS: “This should be your priority!”
HARRY: “You are my priority!”
LOUIS: (‘what the fuck face’ on) “What does that have to do with anything? You can’t love me
and go to school.”
HARRY: “It’s in New York.”
LOUIS: “So?”
HARRY: (speechless) “So…so…”
LOUIS: (eye-rolling, deeply sighing) “How did I know you’d make a stupid ass decision like this?
As soon as I saw the letters, I knew. How do I know you so well?”
HARRY: “I’m sorry. I thought—”
LOUIS: “You thought wrong.”
HARRY: (taking offense) “I can think what I want. I can make decisions how I want. This is my
decision.”
LOUIS: “Yes, it is. I’m not taking that away from you. I only ask to know about your decisions, to
be sort of part of the big ones that could affect both of us. This is my decision too.”
HARRY: “It doesn’t have to be. We don’t have to be making a decision at all.”
LOUIS: “You not going is a decision. And if you’re only making it because of me…”
LOUIS: (opens his mouth, exhales in frustration loudly instead) “We’re fighting for fuck-all.
Accept your offer. We’ll figure it out.”
HARRY: “How?”
LOUIS: “I don’t know yet, okay? I don’t know shit right now other than you have to do this. Any
way possible, we’ll get it done. This has a deadline. Us figuring out what we’ll do doesn’t…We
can be working that out until the day before school starts, maybe after that too, at any point. This
won’t come by again, Harry.”
HARRY: (questioning the decision again now that all this has happened) “I—I…I don’t know…”
LOUIS: “Look at me…” (Harry does) “Do you wanna go or not?”
HARRY: “I wanna be with you.”
LOUIS: “That’s not the question. You will be.” (stands up, walks up to Harry, holds Harry’s face
so Harry stops avoiding eye-contact) “I promise you, you will be. Now answer me, do you want to
go to NYU or not?”
HARRY: (breaking down at the sympathy) “I’m sorry! I should have told you—But I was
nervous, you were doing so well. Here. You like it—”
LOUIS: “Harry!” (softer) “Love, do you want to go? That’s the only question I need you to
answer. Everything else, we’ll fix, I promise.” (hugging him) “I’ll take care of it. I’ll take care of
you.”
HARRY: (hugging back) “I wanna take care of you.”
LOUIS: “You can. We can take care of each other.”
HARRY: “How did you find out? Zayn said?”

LOUIS: “No, I was rummaging through the room to find your lingerie present—which I’m hoping
we’ll still get to use, make-up sex and all.” (Harry chuckles through his tears) “I mean that’s what
all this fight is about, really, make-up sex. But yes, I was doing that and I ran into your letters.”
LOUIS: (cautiously, gently) “You know, if you haven’t thrown them out yet, that’s telling me
something.”
HARRY: “I wanted to keep something as proof that I did that. That they wanted me.”
LOUIS: (pulling away from the hug) “That’s cool and all but you know what’s even better proof.
A fucking diploma. And you’re gonna get it. You’re gonna go there and ace this entire thing and
you’re gonna graduate and I’ll be the proudest, smallest boyfriend in the world.”
HARRY: (smiling through his sniffles) “You are terribly small.”
LOUIS: “You’ve wanted this for so long on the inside and you’ve come so far. See it through.”
HARRY: “And you?”
LOUIS: “New York is my shit, you should know. I went to Juilliard. I know everything there is to
know about the city: where to sell furniture, where to sell sex, where to get drugs, everything.”
HARRY: “But Niall…”
LOUIS: “That golfing leprechaun? Get that fake blond off my face, first of all.”
HARRY: (fully smiling) “And jobs?”
LOUIS: (pretends to frown) “Oh right, yes, you’re right. My only marketable skill is being Hades
so…that’s gonna be a tough one.”
HARRY: “Broadway…?”
LOUIS: (dramatic) “Stop it. Right now. Stop that. That hope, should not be given to someone like
me.”
HARRY: (hugging Louis by the waist) “Simon can put in a good word.”
LOUIS: “Stop it! My ego can only handle this much.”
HARRY: (looking at Louis like he’s so good he shouldn’t exist) “God.”
LOUIS: “What?”
HARRY: “Nothing.” (wiping the cheeseball look off his face momentarily only to go back to
grinning like an idiot) “Did we fight long enough for make-up sex?”
LOUIS: “Oh, fuck off. One track mind.”
HARRY: “I’m not the one looking for undies under beds.”
LOUIS: “I was gonna do you a surprise.”

HARRY: “Which you still can very much do.”
LOUIS: “But what did you say, oh right, that it’s not a surprise if you ask for it.” (points his
tongue out) “Ha. Caught in your own smooth lies. Besides…” (shrugs, cute, tiny, kitten fluff of
demon hell) “I’d rather sleep with you when we’re happy, not pissed off.” (starting to blush) “And
I’d rather have our first time be on that note too. I have enough emotional angst as it is. No need
for punk sex.”
Scene 3: Marker!
HARRY: (on Harry’s bed, cuddling with the lights off and the laptop in front of them) “Promise
not to make fun of it?”
LOUIS: “Eh… I am but human. My self-control can only do so much. How bad is it?”
HARRY: “I don’t know probably bad.”
LOUIS: “Probably not. Show me.”
HARRY: “I won’t show you if you’ll be a dickhead about it. It was my first movie ever and I’m
super bad and I don’t even know why I’m considering showing you this.”
LOUIS: “Because you have a lot of making up to do and you agreed to do everything I say for the
next two weeks?”
HARRY: “True but—”
LOUIS: “No buts! I call the shots now. Show me your short.”
HARRY: “But you’re gonna be mean.”
LOUIS: “It is my signature move.”
HARRY: “That’s not very helpful. You could at least lie about it so I show you then be mean.”
LOUIS: “I’m joking. I’m obviously not going to be mean.”
HARRY: “I’m not that good. It’s only like ten minutes but I’m still not that good.”
LOUIS: “Oh shut up, you’re good enough for Tisch, you’re good enough for me. Now put it on.”
(more to himself) “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me! About a movie. Movies are the core of our
relationship, Harold. Movies brought us together and you made one and you got in with it and I
didn’t know. Serious FOMO.”
HARRY: (sad) “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to—”
LOUIS: “I know, I know. Skip the sadness. We’re having fun now. I’m just saying. I could have
helped.”
HARRY: “I wanted to do it on my own.”
LOUIS: (can’t help but smile at that) “I’m proud of you.” (Harry curls his shoulders in happiness
and smiles, Louis shakes himself awake to roll his eyes) “Now let’s watch the damn thing so we
can get it over and watch something better. Like Shrek.”
HARRY: “Okay, fine but it’s…” (blushing and sweating over it) “It’s sappy.”
LOUIS: “Expected.”
HARRY: “It’s um…about love?”
LOUIS: “You have yet to shock me.”
HARRY: (gulps) “It’s about… you.”
LOUIS: “What?”
HARRY: “Did I shock you now?”
LOUIS: (screechy) “It’s about me?”
HARRY: “The movie is about you.” (trying to explain himself) “I had to do it on something I was
passionate about, that was meaningful to me.”
LOUIS: “So you did it about my ass?”
HARRY: “No, but come to think of it, that would have been a better idea because your ass is my
one true passion.”
LOUIS: “Wow, you sounded so much like me there, I had to go check the tag to see who said it.”
HARRY: “The movie is about us and you, more like what you did to me—wait, that sounds dirty.”
LOUIS: “Is it a porno? Is that why I’ve been waking up with a bum rash all these months? Did I
inadvertently, unconsciously make my debut in porn? What category? What category?”
HARRY: “We were having a moment back then.”
LOUIS: “Oh my god, it totally is a porno. My boyfriend got into Tisch filming a porno. I’m in
awe. What’s my stage name?”
HARRY: “Dickhead.”
LOUIS: “Nice. Appropriate. Who are you, came-on-ass-hair-head?”
HARRY: (sighs, shakes his head, pulls up the video on the laptop) “Well, if the teasing has
already started, might as well do it all in one go so I only have to disassociate from reality once.”
(presses play, the movie starts rolling) “Be gentle with me, my heart is made of Golden
Retrievers.”
LOUIS: “Ooh, where—is this Disney? You filmed in Disney?” (Harry nods) “Did you get
permission?” (Harry shakes his head) “Bad ass! From smoking inside the park to filming inside the
park. Man, look at you go…down to hell that is but still…” (to himself, still in awe) “Man, wish I
was there.”
HARRY: (kisses Louis’ temple as he cuddles him closer) “You will next time. Promise.”
LOUIS: (snuggles back, smiling) “It’s titled ‘Three Seconds A Day’?”
HARRY: (shrugs self-consciously) “It stuck with me when you said that. It was important to me.
Changed everything.”
LOUIS: (forcefully laughs to diffuse the significance of the situation) “That changed everything?
Out of everything we’ve done? That moment?”
HARRY: “It was what I needed. Everything that came after was a bonus, an amazing experience—
still is.” (pokes Louis’ side) “But back then, I needed that and you were the only one who noticed
and made it possible for me to get through it.” (rolls his eyes with the next sentence) “It saved me
—in the most cliche and overused way of phrasing it.”
LOUIS: “Yuck, fifty shades of John Green.”
HARRY: (shrugs) “I guess that’s unoriginal. There’s only so many ways to say ‘I love you’ in the
world.”
LOUIS: “Making a movie about someone is definitely one of them.” (looks at the screen where a
candid shot of himself laughing appears) “Ugh, who put this ugly turnip in front of me though?”
HARRY: “Stop it.”
LOUIS: (ignoring him, staring at film version of himself) “I sound like that?” (looking at Harry)
“How do you date me?”
HARRY: “Days like this? With extreme difficulty.”
LOUIS: “Eleanor’s in this—ugh, this will end me—hey!” (Harry has paused the movie) “I was
watching—” (Harry kisses him, pulls away, gives him a look, kisses him again, plays the movie)
“Weirdo.”
HARRY: “That might be the last one I get for a bit.”
LOUIS: “Expect a letter from my lawyer, frat boy.”
HARRY: “Worth it. Think of it this way, as an aspiring actor, this is the first movie you featured
in. And you didn’t even have to act. You just had to be yourself.”
LOUIS: “That’s called reality TV.”
HARRY: “I thought of doing that too. The Real World: Walt Disney. But then I’d really get sued.”
Scene 4: Set.
LOUIS: (after the movie, laying down in bed, facing each other) “Thank you.”
HARRY: “For what, silly?”
LOUIS: “Showing me that.”
HARRY: “Thank you for not shredding it to pieces with critiques.”

LOUIS: “I had to try hard.”
HARRY: “I bet you did.” (after a few seconds where they just stare at each other calmly with
smiles, communicating with their eyes) “Thank you.”
LOUIS: “One thank you is enough. I’m not a monster.”
HARRY: “No, for forgiving me.”
LOUIS: “Oh. Yeah, that’s fine too.”
HARRY: (shushes Louis with a finger) “For believing in me. For trusting in this. And that this can
work out.”
LOUIS: (laying on his back) “If there’s anything I’ve learned from life is that you gotta take
whatever comes your way, all the opportunities. How you survive them and how you make do,
that’s after-thought. Once you get there, you’ll figure it out. You can survive anything. Often
surviving is less difficult than what you expected you’d suffer when you mentally prepared for it.”
HARRY: (inching closer to lay his head on Louis’ chest, arm on his stomach) “I trust you.
Because you have survived everything.”
LOUIS: (chuckles, holds him closer) “After this coming weekend, I will have.”
Return
Chapter 121: Return
1. INT. HARRY’S CAR — DAY
Liam drives Harry’s Rover while Harry and Louis sit in the back. Backpacks sit on their laps.
Harry’s smiley as always but Louis seems deflated. He looks out the window at the passing trees.
LIAM: “Do you guys ever work though? I think Louis hasn’t stepped in the park in five years.”
LOUIS: “You should step on that pedal or I’ll step on your balls if we don’t make this flight.”
LIAM: “Woah there, tiny. I’m missing The Bachelorette for this.”
Louis rolls his eyes dramatically. Harry catches it and smiles.
HARRY: You’d miss anything for Louis.
LIAM: “True. But still. Why am I the chauffeur of choice every time you go on trips?”
LOUIS: (before Harry can reply) “We love rubbing it in. How can I be happy if another person in
my vicinity is not suffering.”
Liam chuckles. It’s silent. After a few minutes, Liam fumbles to turn on the radio and skips through
a couple of stations. Eventually, he gives up and turns it off again.
Harry squeezes Louis’ knee reassuringly. When Louis looks at him, Harry smiles. Louis attempts a
half-smile back.
HARRY: (whispering) “It’s gonna fun.”
LOUIS : “I know.” (he does not) “It will.”
LIAM: “Not being at work is already fun. But I guess since Louis already has that down, his
standards are higher.”
Louis reaches forward to smack Liam in the shoulder lightly. Liam yelps more out surprise than
real pain.
LOUIS: “I’m there everyday, cocksuck.
LIAM: “Debatable.”
LOUIS: “We just don’t talk about it because its relevant to the plot. We went, we saw, we
suffered.”
LIAM: (amused) “I thought you enjoyed suffering.”
LOUIS: “Not my own.”
LIAM: “And you, curly? What’s your storyline?”

Harry forces his eyes to leave Louis and focus on Liam’s reflection on the car’s mirror.
HARRY: “My what?”
LIAM: “Your deep endless void the one the author exploits for two hundred chapters?”
LOUIS: “Closer two one hundred and twenty.”
HARRY: “What?”
LIAM: “Harry’s eternally lost.”
Louis chuckles. Harry looks at him, sees Louis’ smile and smiles as well.
2. EXT. OUTSIDE THE AIRPORT — LATER
Liam unloads a duffel bag from the back and hands it to Louis. Harry grabs it from his hands to
hold. Louis rolls his eyes fondly.
LIAM: “Well, boys, try to come back.”
He slams the trunk of the car shut, lingers a few seconds since Harry and Louis have yet to make
an effort to roll their luggages away.
LIAM : “Or don’t. As long as I get the car.”
HARRY: “If we decide to hitch and move to ghetto—” (Louis nudges a cough out of him) “—the
car is yours.”
LOUIS: “If Harry goes crazy and decides to move to ‘the ghetto’ on his own, the car is mine.”
HARRY: “Also fair.”
Harry goes in for a hug that Liam has to return with the bag in between them.
HARRY: “Thanks for driving us.”
LOUIS: “Yeah.”
Liam looks at him expectantly. Louis make a show of how utterly cheesy and out of character this
is before giving Liam a hug. When pulling away, he hesitates for a few seconds before speaking.
LOUIS: “And I never told you…Thanks, for uh, the support. Before…” (motioning to Harry) “All
this happened.”
Liam seems surprised at shift in conversation. Louis notices and flusters. He’s trying extra hard to
make it seem casual.
LOUIS: “With the whole cupcake thing. And everything really.” (pretending to be overly
dramatic) “You were a good friend, I guess. Unexpected coming from you but…” (shrugs) “Color
me shocked.” (abruptly) “Anyyyyyway, time to go buy new tickets since we definitely missed the
flight at this point with my melodramatic soliloquies.”
LIAM: “Definitely overdramatic.”

LOUIS: “Definitely.”
LIAM: (grinning) “Safe flight, prick. I won’t miss you too much.”
LOUIS: “Feeling is more than mutual.”
Louis smiles back at him as he walks towards the doors of the airport. Liam gives him a last salute.
Harry wraps an arm around his shoulders and leads him inside.
3. INT. AIRPORT — CONTINUOUS
They enter AIRPORT NAME. Large, well-lit, busy, people scatter everywhere speedily, with
purpose. Harry squints at a nearby screen before pointing at a check-in desk. Louis leads the way.
They wait in line behind a family of four. A young girl, around three, holds a Minnie Mouse plush
and waves at Louis shyly. Louis makes a silly face back and she giggles.
HARRY: “What was that about? Back there.”
LOUIS: “Oh you know, friendship rituals. You gotta be nice to them from time to time.”
HARRY: “Right, of course.”
LOUIS: “It’s more for closure.”
The family reaches the counter. The father hoists the other child, a baby, up for the attendant to
see. The little girl still eyes Louis with wonder.
HARRY: “We’re coming right back.”
LOUIS: (stiffly) “I know that.”
Harry treads his fingers lightly down Louis’ arm before grasping his hand. He squeezes once for
emphasis.
HARRY: “This is as important as you wanna make it, Lou. I’m not expecting anything.”
Louis smiles at him but the smile drops off when the little girl’s mother notices what she’s looking
at, takes one look at their clasped hands and leads the girl away.
Louis unclasps their hands and steps forward to slide his passport on the counter. Harry does the
same.
LOUIS: “It’s already begun.”
4. INT. AIRPORT GATE — DAY
The airport is full. Harry and Louis sit cross-legged on the floor next to the wall where Louis is
charging his phone. Harry sips on an iced coffee, book on his lap—something about film
production. He stares as a line of people shuffles to board, tickets sticking out their hands and
bags.
HARRY: “Do you ever think of going back?”
LOUIS: “Home?”
HARRY: “Europe. Moving back.”
LOUIS: “To be quite honest, I hadn’t thought of leaving Disney until now.”
HARRY: “I thought you hated Disney.”
LOUIS: “I thought so too but ever since you came along—”
HARRY: “Aw, soft Louie.”
Louis pushes Harry by the shoulder, almost knocking the coffee out of his hands.
LOUIS: “I was gonna say, ever since you came along, I got more comfortable but damn, maybe
not. You’ve been a pain in my ass.”
HARRY: “Not yet that.”
(deadpan) “Can’t wait.”
The announcer calls for passengers flying to London. The plane is boarding. Louis is up on his feet
first. Harry lazily follows. They walk towards the gathering crowd.
HARRY: “I don’t want you to think you have to leave because of me.”
LOUIS: “Harry, we’ve discussed this. It became comfortable because of you. Once you leave, it’ll
probably go back to being hell. Do you want me to stay in hell?”
(sheepishly ) “No?”
LOUIS: “Then invite me to your cheap student housing so we can share a tiny, single bed in a
room with four other dudes.”
HARRY: “We’ll get an apartment.”
LOUIS: “Fancy. Pop the question first.”
He means it as a joke but when he looks at Harry, Harry’s eyes have softened. Louis looks stunned
for an answer.
Harry gulps, shakes himself out of it physically, coughing.
HARRY: “Probably too early for that.”
LOUIS: (equally awkward) “Way too early.”
HARRY: “Way.”
LOUIS: “Yup.”
HARRY: “Not even in—”
LOUIS: “Nope.”
HARRY: “Yeah.”
LOUIS: “Yeah.”
HARRY:
5. INT. AIRPLANE TO LONDON — NIGHT
Harry and Louis sit towards the bag of a huge, trans-atlantic airplane with ten seats per row. On
Harry’s right, a young college student snores with her big headphones on, cheek against a neck
pillow.
The lights are down and tiny screens playing different movies illuminate the place in flashing blue.
The people to their right are asleep under blankets.
Louis stares at a welcome screen on his TV. Harry sneaks a hand out of his blanket to reach in
between the seats and grab Louis’ own twitchy fingers.
HARRY: “You’re okay.”
It’s a statement, not a question. Louis shrugs in response. He makes a noise that could count as a
whine.
LOUIS: “Hate planes.”
HARRY: “Nervous?”
LOUIS: “Have to shit.”
HARRY: “You already went to the bathroom.”
LOUIS: “I shit in intervals.”
Harry opens his mouth but can’t seem to make up his mind on a response. He stretches painfully to
kiss Louis’ cheek.
HARRY: “Soon.”
Harry settles back into his seat, fixing the blanket so it’s trapped on his shoulders again, covering
him like a baby up to his neck. Louis fidgets in his seat, sighing heavily.
LOUIS: “They have to make it this cramped.”
Another man three rows ahead turns around to shush them rudely. He gestures to his headphones.
LOUIS: “Oh piss off. You’re watching a movie.”
He turns towards Harry who is holding back giggles by bitting his bottom lip.
LOUIS: “Can you believe this guy?”
HARRY: “You got spoiled last time when we had the entire row and you could sleep like a king.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, where are those homophobic old spinsters when you need them?”
Harry laughs audibly leading to another frustrated shush from the same man. When he looks back
again, Louis flashes him the middle finger. Harry smacks Louis’ arm down but keeps laughing.
After a few minutes, when the silence has settled again, Harry looks at Louis with a dreamy smile
on his face.
HARRY: “What would you say?”
Louis is messing with the screen by jamming his finger repeatedly on the play button of the
Avengers: Age of Ultron. Harry pulls his hand away and holds it in his.
HARRY: (whispered) “What would you have said to her, or anyone like her, if she were here now,
if she did the same thing as last time, what would you say?”
Louis looks caught off guard. He double-checks the sleeping girl almost expecting her to be a
different person. He looks at Harry again who is looking back at him expectantly. He makes a
noise of indecision like the beginning of three sentences merged together then shrugs.
LOUIS: “I gotta be in the moment.”
HARRY: (teasing) “Aren’t you an actor?”
LOUIS: “Give me the script.”
HARRY: (to himself) “You didn’t take it well last time.”
LOUIS: “Don’t remind me.”
HARRY: “Sorry.”
Harry lets go of his hand to gently tap at the screen. The movie loads immediately, the opening
logo flashing the Marvel colors. Harry smiles at Louis and leans back on his own seat to let him
watch.
Louis nods, plugs in his headphones and focuses on the screen.
6. INT. AIRPLANE TO LONDON — LATER
The Avengers fight Ultron on screen. The lights reflects on Louis’ eyes. It’s an hour in. Harry has
dozed off, head lolling sideways and resting gently on Louis’ shoulder. He breathes in and out, at
times making Louis’ eyes flutter.
Louis raises his hand to pause the movie on a blurry airborne Captain America. He touches
Harry’s cheek with his hand, stirring him. The green eyes open slightly.
HARRY: (mumbly) “Bathroom?”
LOUIS: “I’d have told her to fuck off.”
It takes Harry a while to figure it out. When he does, a smile stretches on his face.
LOUIS: “I’d have handled it better.”
HARRY: “Not sure if insulting her is handling it better.”
LOUIS: “I wouldn’t have denied it. I wouldn’t have hurt you. That’s better in my book. I regret
that from that trip.”
HARRY: “I regret a ton of things from that trip but it brought us here.”
Harry sits up. The blanket falls on his lap. He stretches, arms up, back arched. Louis watches him
intently, movie forgotten.
HARRY: “And I like where we are a lot. So I wouldn’t risk changing anything.”
LOUIS: “So if you had a time-machine—”
HARRY: “Well no, if we’re talking time-machines, I’d have probably gone back and kissed your
stupid face earlier.”
Harry follows the statement with exaggerated, sloppy kisses on Louis’ face. Louis pushes him
away, giddy.
LOUIS: “When?”
HARRY: “I had plenty of opportunities.”
LOUIS: “Like when we were under that stupid shirt in the middle of Disney and all the cougars
got to see your tit tattoos.”
HARRY: “Yeah…” (more somber) “Exactly then actually. How—?”
LOUIS: “It felt important.”
HARRY: “It was. Like this. This is important too. I feel it.”
Louis nods. He leans back on his seat and looks at the screen more out of an excuse to not look at
Harry.
LOUIS: “I’m trying to not make it like that.”
7. EXT. TAXI STAND OUTSIDE OF THE DONCASTER AIRPORT — NIGHT
It’s late. It’s cold. Only two people, a couple, stand before Louis and Harry in the taxi line but
taxis are scarce because of the hour.
Louis shivers in a light hoodie. Harry wraps his arms around him and holds him close, almost
rocking him.
LOUIS: “She said she’d come.”
HARRY: “Something must have come up.”
LOUIS: “Past midnight? What?”
HARRY: “Something, babe, who knows? It’s fine.”
LOUIS: “We’re freezing our ass off. The least she could have done—”
HARRY: “We’re fine.”
Harry kisses Louis’ forehead. The couple enters the cab. The doors slam and they drive off. Louis
pulls away to look at the road for another incoming cab but it’s empty. He shoves his hands in his
pocket and paces.
LOUIS: “Does she even know we’re coming?”
HARRY: “She knows.”
LOUIS: “I’m embarrassed.”
HARRY: “Don’t be.”
LOUIS: “I’m embarrassed for her.”
Harry opens his mouth to respond but closes it again without saying anything.
Louis sits on the pavement where the sidewalk meets the road. Harry sits beside him, pulling Louis
to his body. He rubs his hand on Louis’ shoulder to warm Louis up. In the distance, car lights
appear. Louis squints at them.
The car drives closer. It’s a cab. Harry stands up in excitement, waving at it. Louis deflates. When
the driver opens the trunk and helps Harry with his bags, Louis is still sitting at the same spot.
8. INT. CAB — CONTINOUS
American music plays in the cab. The driver is on his phone, speaking a different language. Louis
and Harry bump shoulders, flush against each other in the back. Harry’s hand taps on Louis’ thigh
along to the rhythm of the music. Louis’ other leg shakes violently with his nerves. He’s biting his
nails.
LOUIS: “It won’t be the same, so you know.”
HARRY: “Same as what?”
LOUIS: “Same as when we met your mom. My family’s not like that.”
HARRY: (not bothered) “Every family is different.”
LOUIS: “Your mom, she’s great. And Gemma. The entire thing was great.”
HARRY: “I’m sure this will be too. In its own way.”
Louis nods. His fingers are in his mouth again, the side of his pointer scabbed bloody from bites.
Harry pulls his hand away to observe the damage.
LOUIS: “I’ve never brought people home.”
HARRY: “You haven’t even brought yourself, I’m not surprised.”
LOUIS: “There are reasons for that.”
HARRY: “Nothing is that bad, Lou.”
LOUIS: (looking out the window) “Some things are.”
9. EXT. LOUIS’ HOME — NIGHT

The cab drives off leaving Harry and Louis clutching their bags and staring up at the house. It’s
not shabby but nothing luxurious, big, not showy, a family home. The yard is covered in kid stuff,
colorful bicycles, a deflated kiddy pool, water guns and plastic toys. Harry smiles at the display.
He turns to Louis to see he’s not there.
Frantically he looks around. A few feet away, behind the tall hedge surrounding the house,
crouches Louis, sitting on his bulky tote bag. Louis’ hands are on his hair, blocking his face from
view.
Harry walks towards him with a concerned smile.
HARRY: “What are you doing, Lou?”
When Louis doesn’t respond, Harry crouches to his level and touches Louis’ knee.
HARRY: “Baby?”
LOUIS: (distinctly shaken) “Bad things happened here.”
Harry waits but Louis doesn’t elaborate. Harry shuffles sideways so he’s standing in front of
Louis.
HARRY: “I’m here with you. I won’t let anything happen to you this time.”
LOUIS: (voice low) “I should have never done this. This was a mistake.”
HARRY: “No, love. You’re tired. We had a long day. We both need rest, that’s all.”
Louis finally raises his eyes from the ground. They’re wide, desperate.
LOUIS: “I cannot sleep here.”
Harry nods at him, holds eye contact.
HARRY: “Should we book a hotel?”
Louis hesitates. He looks back at the direction of the house. A few glistening lights shine through
the dense hedge.
HARRY: “We can do whatever you want. This is your call.”
LOUIS: “Ok, we’ll stay.”
HARRY: “Are you sure?”
Louis nods repeatedly with his response. He’s trying to convince himself more than Harry.
LOUIS: “Yeah. As long as we can go anytime.”
HARRY: “Anytime you want.”
LOUIS: “Fly home.”
HARRY: “The moment you need us to.”

LOUIS: (exhaling in relief) “Thank you.”
Harry stands, stretches a hand and hoists Louis up. Louis picks up his bag but Harry takes it from
him. They stand in the corner of the street, the only two people out.
LOUIS: “I suppose we should go in.”
Harry nods but doesn’t walk. Louis takes a deep breath then steps froward, making his way back to
the entrance of the yard and up the porch steps. Harry follows behind him, watching the way
Louis’ body shakes with his efforts to remain in control.
Louis rings the doorbell once. It’s a chirping noise that repeats three times. The lights in the
hallway turn on.
The door opens, revealing Louis’ mother, Johanna, a well-preserved woman who doesn’t bear any
signs of being the mother of a twenty-five year old. Her face holds a nervous but excited smile.
She’s in her night gown.
JOHANNA: “Louis.”
Johanna wraps her arms around Louis who awkwardly does the same. In the process, she catches
sight of Harry.
HARRY: “Hello ma’am.”
10. INT. LOUIS’ HOME — CONTINUOUS
Louis steps in the house first, looking around as if he’s never been inside. It’s been years. Harry
follows, lowers the duffel bag on the floor. He has a brilliant smile on despite the nervous energy
around him.
HARRY: “Thank you for having us. I’m so excited to meet you. I’m Harry.”
Harry walks around a immobile Louis to extend his hand to Johanna who grasps it in her own and
shakes it. She smiles back but her eyes drift from Harry to Louis.
JOHANNA: “Of course, it’s a pleasure. We’re so excited to have you. So excited. The kids,
they’ve been talking about it all day. They couldn’t wait. I send them off to sleep but they would be
waiting. They’re probably awake.”
HARRY: “I love kids.”
Silence. Louis seems to have missed his line. Harry looks at him in unwavering support and
happiness. Louis notices, snaps awake.
LOUIS: “Yeah, it’s fun. It’s strange being back. It’s been ages.”
JOHANNA: “I’ve left your room untouched. We haven’t moved anything.”
Louis winces at this, hides it poorly behind a forced smile.
LOUIS: “That’s great.” (an afterthought) “Mum. I’m sure it’s perfect.”
JOHANNA: “And for you, Harry, I’ve prepared the guest room. It’s a little crowded with clothes
—we haven’t had much space since the babies arrived but—”
HARRY: (politely) “I’m sure it’ll be very comfortable.”
LOUIS: “He’s not sleeping in the guest room.”
Louis’ serious tone gets both their attention and they turn towards him. He’s positive aura has all
but disappeared. He’s a bundle of nerves again, frown etched deep in his forehead.
JOHANNA: “But Louis—”
LOUIS: “He’s sleeping with me. We’re together. In a relationship. What don’t you get about
that?”
HARRY: “Lou.”
LOUIS: “We slept together at yours. I don’t see why we shouldn’t sleep together here.”
HARRY: “Ok, but—”
JOHANNA: “Louis, there’s not enough space in there for two—”
LOUIS: “Don’t interrupt him.”
HARRY: “Lou!”
JOHANNA: “I’m sorry, Harry.”
HARRY: (rambling to fix things) “No, it’s fine. You’re right. There’s probably no space. I mean,
my mom set up a guest room too. We were kids when we lived here—tiny beds! I understand.
Thank you. I really, really appreciate this.”
LOUIS: “We’re either sleeping together or we’re staying in a hotel.”
Louis hurries past them towards the stairs leading to the bedrooms.
LOUIS: (under his breath) “I’m gonna go make the bed.”
Harry is left standing there with Johanna. She touches her face, upset.
HARRY: “He’s tired. We had work and the flight, it was long. He’s just tired. He was so happy to
be coming back. He’s been talking about this for week.”
JOHANNA: “No, he’s right. I should have known. He told me.” (genuinely embarrassed) “And I
don’t mind. I have no problem with him being whatever he wants to be. I will love him just the
same.” (she’s almost tearful) “I am just happy to have him back.”
Harry walks closer to her, touches her arm in comfort.
HARRY: “You couldn’t have known. You did exactly what everyone else would do.”
JOHANNA: “He told me—”
HARRY: “He didn’t tell you he needs someone to sleep with him.”
Johanna is silent at this. Harry talks quietly but assuredly.

HARRY: “He’s excited to be here and a little scared and he can’t sleep alone. That’s all. It’s no
one’s fault. It will be fine tomorrow. He loves you. He came back to let you know that. Please
don’t take this as a sign of anything but fatigue and little bit of nerves.”
Johanna nods. Harry gives her a kiss on the cheek and smiles.
HARRY: “I’m gonna go check on him. Get some sleep. Thank you for waiting for us.”
11. INT. LOUIS’ BEDROOM — CONTINUOUS
Harry opens the door to the bedroom.
HARRY: (whispered) “Lou?”
The lights are on but no sign of Louis. Harry drops the bags on the floor next to the door. He’s
temporarily awestruck by the fullness of the room, the walls covered in posters of rock bands and
football players. The room is one a teenager, small, suffocated in showy personality and stuff that
should have made its way to storage: footballs, a skateboard, old clothes, middle-school trophies,
books of required readings. Louis’ bedsheets have superheroes on them. Harry smiles at the sight.
HARRY: (louder than the first) “Lou?”
He looks back at the dark hallway, scanning the bottoms of the doors for light. At the end of the
hallway, the bathroom door is not properly closed, casting a line of yellow light on the opposing
wall.
Harry walks towards it but a tiny voice grabs his attention.
DAISY: “Lou?”
A short girl peeks her head out of her bedroom door. Her hair is tussled in sleep and her eyes are
glued almost shut. She looks at Harry who has stopped in his tracks.
DAISY: “Are you the boyfriend?”
HARRY: (smiling) “Yes, I am.”
DAISY: “Is Lou back?”
HARRY: “Yup. You can se him tomorrow. Go back to bed now, okay?”
The girl considers this before slipping back inside and slowly closing the door.
DAISY: “Ok, boyfriend.”
Harry shakes his head in amusement and walks to the bathroom.
12. INT. BATHROOM — CONTINUOUS
Harry opens the door the bathroom to look inside.
Louis is rocking himself in the bathtub, backpack still on. He’s hyperventilating.
HARRY: “Baby, no. No. Shit.”

Harry closes the door and jumps in the tub on the other side. Louis ignores him, eyes shut and
covered by his fists. His face is contorted in pain. He’s trembling.
HARRY: “It’s okay, Lou. Everything’s okay. I’m right here.”
There’s a puddle of clear liquid on the tub drops between Louis’ legs, glistening with the
fluorescent lights. Another drop joins them. They’re tears, running down Louis’ face, their origins
hidden from the light.
Harry wraps his hands around Louis’ forearms and pulls. Louis keeps them on his face so Harry
ends up pulling Louis as a whole towards his chest. Harry hugs him in his arms, shaking with the
gravity of Louis’ tremors.
HARRY: “I love you, baby. I’ll do anything for you.”
LOUIS: (hiccuped between short, choking breaths) “Don’t…leave me…alone.”

Redemption
Chapter 122: Redemption
1. INT. GUEST ROOM — NIGHT
Harry and Louis squeeze tight in a single bed, Louis trapped in between the wall and Harry’s
chest. The guest room is as described by Johanna, full of boxes of clothes on all sides.
HARRY: (caressing Louis’ back) “I understand.”
HARRY: “It was the same for me. Back then, when Ed and I…I had the same reaction to my
room.”
LOUIS: “At least those were positive memories haunting you.”
HARRY: “Positive or negative there’s nothing scarier than who you used to be.”
LOUIS: “I often wonder if you’d like him, old me, who I used to be.” (sad smile) “I like to
imagine what my life would have been like if we were neighbors, friends.”
HARRY: (affectionately) “I’d have probably had all my first boners about you.”
LOUIS: (happy-sad) “That would have been surprisingly comforting.”
HARRY: (wants to ask but knows better) “We should have gotten the hotel. It must be…intense
being here.”
LOUIS: “That’s the point of the trip. I can’t avoid it forever. Exposure therapy or whatever.”
HARRY: “Julian told you to do it?”
LOUIS: “No.” (chuckles) “He told me not to.”
HARRY: (opens his mouth, closes it) “Ah.”
LOUIS: “Don’t tell me he was right.”
HARRY: “I don’t know if he was so I can’t tell you anything.”
LOUIS: “I wanna be right.”
HARRY: “What do you think?”
LOUIS: “I think that this can really make everything better again, me here. With you. We can fix
this, make it all go away. I can be happy.”
HARRY: (kisses Louis’ forehead) “Then I’ll make sure you’re right and not Julian. Plus, I haven’t
even met this Julian, for all I know he’s Liam in disguise.”
LOUIS: “Everyone is Liam in disguise. The world is made up of Liams. Pokemon with Liam.”
HARRY: “Can I catch good-abs-Liam? And daddy-Liam? And Liam-who-dreams-about-me?”
LOUIS: “You can catch these hands.” (Harry laughs, Louis smiles, cuddles further in Harry’s
chest) “Thank you, baby.”
HARRY: “For what?”
LOUIS: “You know.”
HARRY: “I wanna hear it.”
LOUIS: “For saving me today.”
HARRY: (not having expected that) “…oh.”
2. INT. BATHROOM — NIGHT
The toilet flushes. Harry washes his hands, watching his tired eyes on the mirror. He lowers to
splash water on his face. Ringlets of hair get extra wet and extra curly. He sighs.
The bathroom faces Louis’ bedroom. Harry stops at the threshold and looks at it. He glances at the
open door of the guest bedroom where he can see Louis’ bare feet peaking out of the covers. Harry
bites his lip and heads for Louis’ bedroom.
3. INT. LOUIS’ ROOM — NIGHT
Harry tip-toes around Louis’ bedroom as if he’s a thief in a house with a dog and an alarm. The
lights are off and the room is only lit from outside the window where a streetlight and the moon
compete to be brightest.
Harry runs his hand on the dresser, gathering dust on his fingers. He squints to see the photos on
top, all of Louis growing up, a plump, adorable child with big blue eyes and a contagious smile.
Harry grins, touches his fingers on Louis’ cheeks.
LOUIS: “What are you doing?”
HARRY: (startled) “Shit!” (turns to the voice, Louis) “Hey, darling. You scared me.”
LOUIS: (sleepily) “What’s wrong?”
HARRY: “Nothing. I wanted to brush my teeth.” (points to his bags, leftover from their arrival)
“Then got distracted. By your adorable face.”
LOUIS: (lingering at the door) “Let’s go back to bed.”
HARRY: (walking back to Louis) “I’m sorry if I woke you up.”
LOUIS: “I was half awake. Felt you get up.” (pulling on Harry’s t-shirt) “Let’s go. Let’s sleep.
It’s too cold without you in bed.”
HARRY: (motions for the superhero covers) “Wanna pick up the blanket?”
LOUIS: “No.”
HARRY: “Alright then.” ( Louis has already left, Harry looks at the room one last time, cocking
his head sideways in curiosity) “Body warmth it is.”
4. INT. GUEST ROOM — DAY
LOUIS: (already awake, slightly shaking Harry) “Get up.”
HARRY: (whining) “Why?”
LOUIS: (loud whispers in Harry’s ear) “Because big things are happening.”
HARRY: (one eye opened) “What big things?” (staring at a grinning Louis) “Lemme guess, you
just pooped the biggest, record-breaking shit in the world and you want me to witness it.”
LOUIS: “No. Sorry, everything now is gonna sound anticlimactic after that.”
HARRY: (smiley yawning) “What then?”
LOUIS: “I have record-breaking love for you and I need you to be awake so I can properly bestow
it.”
HARRY: (amused) “If by love you mean that thing that’s poking my leg, please bestow it in my
butt.”
LOUIS: (wants to be shocked but can’t stop laughing) “Filthy.”
HARRY: “You’re in a good mood.”
LOUIS: “I bestowed a load already.”
HARRY: “Surprisingly painless.” (shifting so he can pat the bed under him) “Is that why it’s so
wet?”
LOUIS: “No, that’s your butt sweat.”
HARRY: “Hey, you can’t be curly on top and not in the bottom.”
LOUIS: (makes a face) “How do people enter? Crawling?” (mimicking a combing through the
jungle motion) “Like Sleeping Beauty with the thorn forest?”
HARRY: “You’re in a particularly good mood. All these Disney references. You miss Simon
already.”
LOUIS: “Only Liam.” (Harry pulls him close for a kiss, which Louis returns, mid way through the
kiss climbing on Harry’s lap to straddle him, pulls away with a smirk) “ Now what?”
HARRY: “In your mother’s home?”
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes) “Says the guy who fucked his ex at his sister’s wedding.”
HARRY: “Wow, okay, did your seat deflate because I lost all excitement.”
LOUIS: (grinding down on him) “Did you though, did you?” (opens his mouth, Louis kisses him to
shut him up, pull away) “Yes, in my mother’s house.”
HARRY: (barely holding his laughter) “With that baby watching us?”
LOUIS: “What?” (looks back to Doris next to the door) “Doris!” (jumps off Harry, covers his
naked chest with the sheet) “Wow.”
HARRY: (laughing) “She’s curious.” (Doris walks unevenly closer to the bed, smiling) “Hi pretty
baby. You were monitoring weren’t you?”
LOUIS: “She’s one and already a perv. She’ll grow up writing slash fiction.”
HARRY: (picks up Doris, airplanes her) “She’s cute enough to write whatever she wants.” (he
bounces her in the air, Doris laughs in joy) “Right, superhero baby?”
LOUIS: (fond) “One, she’ll puke on you like that. Two, how can you go from boner to airplane
baby in five seconds?”
HARRY: (looking at him like he’s an idiot) “Because babies are great???”
LOUIS: (picks up Doris from Harry’s hands and settles her between them on the bed, pats her
head) “Greater than me.”
HARRY: “You are a baby.” (Louis rolls his eyes but blushes) “My baby.”
LOTTIE: (from outside) “Doris!” (poking her head in without knocking, sees Doris) “Oh good,
she’s here. Cockblocking. Good girl, Doris.” (smirking at Louis) “Nice tits, big bro.”
LOUIS: (flustered) “Lottie, out.”
LOTTIE: “Can I take the child?”
HARRY: “We have the child hostage.”
LOTTIE: (winking at Harry) “Can you take me hostage next time?”
LOUIS: “Out!”
LOTTIE: “Obviously you wouldn’t be there, Louis.”
LOUIS: “Lottie!”
LOTTIE: “Fine, fine, you can have him.” (walks in to take Doris with her) “I’ll grab this cutie.”
(carries Doris out, doesn’t close the door behind her) “Mom says come eat breakfast before she
has to leave.”
LOUIS: (looks at Harry meaningfully) “Not chance?”
HARRY: “You want another spectator to march in.”
LOUIS: “Fine.” (slumps back on the bed, half on Harry) “Then I’m going back to sleep.”
HARRY: “We need to get up.”

LOUIS: “I only get up for important stuff.” (grabbing Harry’s junk) “I’ll get up when he’s up.”
HARRY: (smacks his hand away) “Am I’m the filthy one?”
5. INT. LIVING ROOM — LATER
Louis and Harry walk downstairs. The girls are sitting in the living room, eating cereal and
watching TV. They spot Louis and run to him. The older twins almost knocking the younger ones
on the floor.
FIZZY: “Louis!”
PHOEBE: “You came back.”
DAISY: “Look at Doris, look how big he is now.”
LOUIS: “Oh, I looked at her good alright.”
LOTTIE: “What does that even mean?”
Louis opens his arm to hug them as they pile on top of each other and huddle around him.
LOTTIE: (sitting in the couch, smiling knowingly) “Who’s the cutie, Louis? I have never seen him
before. Never topless anyway—”
JOHANNAH: “Lottie, behave.”
HARRY: “Hi, I’m Harry. Sorry about that.”
LOTTIE: “Blame Doris, she’s the one obsessed with you.”
PHOEBE: “Who is Harry?”
LOUIS: “Harry’s my friend. My boyfriend actually.”
FIZZY: “I want a boyfriend too.”
LOTTIE: “Get in line behind me and Doris.”
DAISY: “I knew that.”
PHOEBE: “No, you didn’t, shut up.”
DAISY: “Yes, I did. I met him yesterday.”
HARRY: (Louis turns towards Harry who shrugs) “It’s true.”
PHOEBE: “How long will you and Larry stay?”
LOUIS: “His name is Harry.”
LOTTIE: “Larry’s your ship name.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, I bet Doris came up with it.” (picking up Doris) “Right, future freak?”
JOHANNAH: “Louis, don’t say that about your sister.”
LOUIS: “What, I meant it in a good way?”
DAISY: “Are you here forever?”
LOUIS: “No, love. Just a few days, I have work. I came to see all of you, give you presents.”
DAISY & PHOEBE: “Presents!”
GEORGIA: “What did you get me?”
JOHANNAH: (getting up) “Do you want breakfast, boys? Girls, let them eat first.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, we’ll eat then we can open the presents.”
Johannah walks to the kitchen. Louis follows her still holding Doris who pulls at his hair. Harry
waves silently at the girls, walking in the direction until a stumbling, crying Ernest bumps into
him.
HARRY: “Oops. Are you okay there, buddy?”
DAISY: “He wants to come with you.”
HARRY: “Oh.” (smiles down at Ernest who is flailing his hands up at Harry) “Of course you can
come.” (Harry picks him up) “I can’t possibly leave you here with all these girls.”
PHOEBE: (raising her hand) “I wanna come to.”
GEORGIA: “No, stay. You can all do his hair and makeup later.”
PHOEBE: “Really?”
HARRY: (amused) “Sure.”
PHOEBE: (running up the stairs, Daisy follows her.) “Ok, I’ll go get things ready!”
GEORGIA: (not sorry at all) “Oops.”
LOTTIE: “Invite me anytime, Harry.”
GEORGIA: “No, you’re staying too.” (the girls laugh) “As far away as possible.”
6. INT. KITCHEN — CONTINUOUS
When Harry and Ernest walk into the kitchen, Louis is already sitting down, pouring cereal on his
bowl. Johannah holds a sulking Doris who motions to be next to Louis.
JOHANNAH: “You shouldn’t buy them things without an occasion, Louis. You’ll spoil them.”
LOUIS: “Come on, I haven’t been home three Christmases.”
JOHANNAH: “More.”
LOUIS: “More. They’re Christmas presents. Presents of Christmas past.”
JOHANNAH: “Hopefully not future.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, hopefully…” (looks at Harry who is sitting down, Ernest on his lap, smiles) “No,
definitely not. I’ll be here every Christmas from now on.”
JOHANNAH: “Good. Thank you.”
LOUIS: “Do you need money? I could help you out. I have some saved up.”
JOHANNAH: “Thank you, sweetheart, but I think you need it more right now. We haven’t helped
you at all with the entire moving.” (embarrassed) “It’s just between buying a bigger house and the
twins—”
LOUIS: “Mom, it’s fine. You already gave me more than enough.”
HARRY: “You made him the man he is today.”
LOUIS: “That’s so cliche, anyway.” (Harry chuckles) “I don’t need it, mum. I’m saving lots. Ever
since I moved in at Harry’s, I’ve been saving on a lot of expenses. It’s cheaper to cook for two and
he drives.”
JOHANNAH: (to Harry, genuinely touched) “Thank you.”
HARRY: “Please, he’s not telling you the part where he literally saved my life and got me out of
bed and making friends. That’s nothing compared.”
LOUIS: “So really, you should take it.”
HARRY: (encouraging, smiling) “Take it.”
LOUIS: “I’ll send some over. You can buy stuff for the babies. They’ll grow up super fast and
need new clothes.”
JOHANNAH: “We have the ones your sisters left behind.”
LOUIS: “And Ernie? He’s a dude. What is he gonna wear? My stuff? Times have changed so
much. He needs to be trendy.” (to Ernie) “You need to be stylish to get all the ladies, isn’t that
right, pal?” (Harry coughs) “Fine, all the ladies and all the gentlemen too if that’s your thing.”
HARRY: (amused) “I was gonna say don’t sexualize children but if you have to, at least be fair.”
JOHANNAH: (clapping her hands once) “Ok, then, I suppose you’ve convinced me.”
LOUIS: “Just use it all on Ernie.”
“Will do. Ernie will get a wardrobe makeover. The rest of us will look like his posey.”
LOUIS: “Hear that, bud, no more of my stuff.”
JOHANNAH: “Though… it’s nice to do that from time to time. I get to look through your baby
clothes and remember.”
HARRY: “He was such a cute baby.”
JOHANNAH: “He was, wasn’t he?” (to herself, fond) “He was absolutely lovely. He was my
light.”
LOUIS: (touched) “This is awkward. I’m sitting right here.”
JOHANNAH: “Is it?”
HARRY: “It’s not. I almost wish I had seen him that small…” (joking) “You know you’re in love
when you secretly wish you could travel back in time to see your boyfriend be a baby. You know
you have it bad.”
LOUIS: (blushing furiously) “God, enough people, you’re killing me. I was a baby, like any other
baby. We have two babies right here that are probably getting jealous. Dote on them.”
HARRY: “You were the cutest.”
LOUIS: “No, Ernie is the cutest.” (Doris make a coincidental whine) “You too, Doris. I’m sorry
for being biased.”
JOHANNAH: (placing a bowl of cereal in front of Harry) “I’m sorry about yesterday. The
babysitter canceled and I couldn’t find anyone on time. I couldn’t leave the babies alone.”
LOUIS: “No, it’s fine. I’m sorry. For snapping at you. It was uncalled for. I was just at my limits
with everything and it wasn’t my best self. It wasn’t how I pictured this would go. I shouldn’t have
done that.”
JOHANNAH: “I think we were all a little tense.”
HARRY: “Oh no—” (Ernest has picked up the bowel causing milk to spill and soak the table
cloth) “Oops! Good timing, Ernie.”
JOHANNAH: (Louis and Johannah chuckle at the mess) “Ernest. That wasn’t very nice of you.”
ERNIE: (clapping his hands) “Oops!”
HARRY: “Ernie was breaking the tension. Babies are sensitive to that.”
JOHANNAH: “Well, since you know so much about babies, would you like to babysit them
today?”
LOUIS: “He would. Literally that’s why he came. It’s all he talks about. This morning…” (trails
off when he realizes his mom) “Uh…”
HARRY: “Uh…”
JOHANNAH: (knowing) “This morning what, young man?”
LOUIS: “This morning Doris interrupted our—
HARRY: “Sleep.”
LOUIS: “That’s what I was gonna say though? What else could we be doing?”
HARRY: “Yeah, what else?”
JOHANNAH: (super amused) “Yeah, what else?” (tickling Doris) “What were they doing, Doris,
you can tell me? What did your pure innocent eyes see?”
LOUIS: “Doris loved it, the freak.”
JOHANNAH: “Louis!”
LOUIS: (Doris giggles more) “Yeah, you little rascal.”
JOHANNAH: “I’m gonna take the girls shopping for a few things at the mall. You think you’ll be
okay where with these two? They’re usually not this…” (looks at Doris then the milk then Ernie)
“This…”
HARRY: “Completely awesome. Yes. I agree. We need to babysit them.”
JOHANNAH: “Are you sure? They’re two so they will drive you crazy.”
LOUIS: “You forget we work for Disney.”
HARRY: (nodding) “Yup. Around fourteen kids at a time. Louis feeds them a steady diet of
Starburst candy. It works not well at all. Everyone is sugar high, it really is the worst system.”
LOUIS: “Is it my fault that Disney would make Hades’ powers something along the lines of
Starburst rain?”
JOHANNAH: “I don’t seem to remember that in the DVD.”
HARRY: “Because it’s not there.”
LOUIS: “I improvise. I’m an artiste. None of you would understand.”
7. INT. LIVING ROOM — DAY
(sitting on the floor and stacking wooden cubes) “I always felt embarrassed to show this.”
(chasing Ernie around as he runs and jumps on the couches) “What?”
(shrugs) “How we live…” (Doris knocks the tower down, giggles, Louis smiles at her before
looking at Harry again) “How poor we are. Kinda. We’ve never really been, you know, one of the
fancy families.”
“All I see is a family that cares deeply about each other and would do anything to help.”
“You must think I’m selfish for not helping out earlier.”
(picks up Ernie and sits down next to Louis, putting Ernie on his lap and bouncing him) “I think it
takes a lot of strength to go through college and live in a different continent completely
independent. You didn’t have enough before to help. But you did have enough to let your mom
know that she didn’t need to worry about you, that you could handle it yourself. I think that shows
a lot of things, but selfishness is not on the list.”
“Thanks. For allowing me to help them.”

“Thanks for letting me meet them. They’re all beautiful and sweet in their own unique ways.”
“Even Phoebe and her makeup.”
“Especially Phoebe.” (Louis makes a face) “What, you didn’t like my drag look?”
“It was interesting. Better than that eyeliner you had that one time.”
“Please don’t remind me.”
“Club twink.” (Doris throws a cube at him, it hits Louis in the cheek) “Ouch. Doris! That hurt.”
(Doris laughs) “Why did you do that for?”
(laughing) “Because you deserved it.”
“Oh, is that so?” (reaches for her, she tries to run away but he grabs her and lays her on his lap) “I
will show you what this perv deserves.” (Doris screeches, Louis raises her shirt and makes farting
noises on her tummy, she screams and laughs) “Are you done now? Are you quite finished?”
(soft) “I can see this.”
(holding Doris up) “The resemblance?”
“The resemblance helps a lot yeah.”
(confused now) “What?”
“I can see us doing this.” (Louis raises his eyebrows in surprise, Harry blushes and stumbles over
his explanation) “I mean, in the future of course, not now. In the far future, when we’re both
settled into careers and stuff, when everything is set up, I can see this, we could think about…
something like this.”
“Kids.”
“Yeah. Unless…”
(interrupting him, smiling big) “Yes.” (scoots closer, cuddles him, Doris still in his arms) “I can
see it too.”
8. INT. LIVING ROOM — HOURS LATER
(sitting on the floor, drinking tea and watching ‘Teen Titans’ with the twins) “How was it?”
JOHANNAH: “Long.” (the girls unload bags from the car and run upstairs) “Lou, would you
mind picking up some milk? I forgot. I need to start making dinner.”
LOUIS: (standing up) “Yeah, no problem. I can do it.”
HARRY: “I’ll watch the twins.”
LOUIS: (sliding his feet in his vans, no socks) “Yeah. Yeah, that’s good. I’ll go.”
JOHANNAH: (kissing the top of his head and smiling) “Thank you, honey. I’ll see you in an hour.
We can have proper dinner tonight.”
9. EXT. GROCERY STORE — DAY

LOUIS: (placing milk on the counter to pay, pointing behind the cashier, a young girl) “And a
pack of Marlboros, please.”
CASHIER GIRL: “Red?”
LOUIS: “Yup. Thanks, love.”
CASHIER GIRL: (places the pack on the table, slow recognition) “Louis?”
LOUIS: “Yeah?”
CASHIER GIRL: “Oh my god, Louis Tomlinson. I’m Hannah, from high school? We went to—I
was a year younger…?”
LOUIS: (does recognize her) “Oh, yeah. Yeah, I remember you.” (surprised somewhat nervous)
“Wow, it’s been a while, huh?”
HANNAH: “It’s been years! How have you been? Are you back now? Living home?”
LOUIS: “Nah, only visiting.” (quick to change topics) “And you, are you—what’s up with you?
Living here?” (motioning awkwardly at the store) “This…”
HANNAH: (sheepishly) “Yeah, I work here days. To pay rent. But I’m still into fashion, interning.
Hopefully some day, you know how that goes?”
LOUIS: (plucking a cigarette in his mouth) “I know, yeah.” (packing up his stuff) “You gotta pay
the bills.”
HANNAH: “But what about you? Still at Disney?”
LOUIS: (awkwardly lingering in that I-wanna-leave-haha state) “Yeah…still there.”
HANNAH: “Your mom mentioned it. We see her around. She says you’re doing well.”
LOUIS: “I am. It’s great.” (points at his unlit cigarette for an excuse) “Stuck in the US, ha.”
HANNAH: (stopping him at the door) “Hey, we’re having a thing tomorrow.”
LOUIS: “A thing.”
HANNAH: “A get-together, well, nothing special, we do it every weekend, we all go to the bar
down the street, Oli works there, bartends so he gives us all a table a free beer at times.”
LOUIS: (the most forceful of polite smiles) “Wouldn’t you look at that?”
HANNAH: “You should come. They’d all love to see you again. You’re sort of like a legend
here.”
LOUIS: “Am I now?”
HANNAH: “Yeah, you’re the boy that escaped, from Donnie, went to America, graduated
Juilliard, works for like the biggest corporation…”
LOUIS: (uncomfortable) “Wow, that’s…a lot.”

HANNAH: “You should come. It’ll be fun.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, I’m here with someone so I don’t know…”
HANNAH: “Bring him. Don’t you wanna show him where we all got our first hangovers? I mean
what’s more iconic in Doncaster?”
LOUIS: “Nothing. Nothing is.”
HANNAH: “So you’ll come.”
LOUIS: “I’ll check the calendar.”
HANNAH: “I’ll tell the boys.”
LOUIS: (the discomfort could be eaten with a spoon) “Please don’t.”
HANNAH: “I cannot believe you’re back, wow, you’ve grown up so much. You look…” (shaking
her head in disbelief) “So different. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like it. It’s very cool. America
has done you well.”
LOUIS: “This milk is probably going bad…”
HANNAH: “Take me with some time. When you get big. Think of us.”
LOUIS: “Will surely do. I’m…an addict. So I’m gonna go smoke now but that was great, good
talk. Great seeing you again.”
HANNAH: (calling after him) “See you tomorrow!”
LOUIS: (leaves the store, door closes behind him, he takes a moment to process what happened
before lighting his cigarette and walking away, muttering under his breath) “How the hell…”
Recover
Chapter 123: Recover
1. INT. KITCHEN — DAY
JOHANNAH: (cooking) “I can tell you care a lot about him.”
HARRY: (cutting up vegetables to help) “More than you can imagine.”
JOHANNAH: (smiles) “I’m glad he has someone like that in his life. He’s happy. He’s changed.”
HARRY: “He wants to be happy. I think that’s the main thing that changed. When we first met, he
wasn’t so sure about it.”
JOHANNAH: “We didn’t see much of him. Ever since he left, he was…distant, I suppose.”
(pause, as if she expects Harry to have answers she doesn’t) “I guess he was always a quiet child.”
HARRY: “Quiet, I really can’t see that. Everyone in the park would be amazed to heart that he was
anything but the loud, rambunctious, popular kid.”
JOHANNAH: “Yeah, well… He must have changed a lot when he moved away.”
HARRY: (to himself) “I really can’t think of him that way. Maybe that’s why we came back,
being here, I see stuff from his past. I see how he used to be.”
JOHANNAH: “And what do you see?”
HARRY: (stuck for a response, treading lightly) “He…had a hard time.”
JOHANNAH: (silence, Johannah turns to pull something out from the fridge) “You lived in New
York as well?”
HARRY: “For a little, I… dropped out of Columbia. But I’m going back, in a month or so.”
JOHANNAH: (surprised) “Oh. That’s…”
HARRY: “Different, yeah. I got accepted at NYU so I thought it was time to go back and get that
degree. As much as I enjoy Disney.”
JOHANNAH: (has stopped cooking to look at him) “Yes of course, that makes lots of sense. But
New York…not exactly close to Florida, no?”
HARRY: (shrugs) “A few hours by plane, not exactly driving distance, no.”
JOHANNAH: “What do you think about that? You think that might be hard?”
HARRY: “Moving is always hard. You have to start from the beginning and we have amazing
friends at Disney. But we’ll keep in touch. I can’t imagine we won’t ever see them again. It’s a bit
of a time sensitive thing working for them. You really can’t do it forever.”
JOHANNAH: “You think it might be hard to be in a relationship with the distance?”

HARRY: “Oh. Oh no. Louis is coming with.”
JOHANNAH: “To New York?”
HARRY: “Yup. He’s—Well, we’re moving in together. We’ve talked about this.” (rambling) “It
was his idea really, at first I thought I wouldn’t go.”
JOHANNAH: “You shouldn’t sacrifice education for love.”
HARRY: “Yeah, that’s kind of what he said too. About the whole thing. He was very supportive
and I don’t know, I guess we haven’t spoken about the details but we know we wanna be together
and I don’t care how, I know we’ll find a way how.” (smiling) “Things will work out.”
JOHANNAH: (not nearly as optimistic) “Moving in together.”
HARRY: “Yeah.”
JOHANNAH: “This soon in a relationship?”
HARRY: “Uh…” (nervous chuckle) “Yeah. We live together now and—and that works?”
JOHANNAH: “But it must be different. Now you have jobs, you have friends, you have…the
possibility of separation.”
HARRY: “I know, I was worried too, about that in the beginning but—”
JOHANNAH: “And I’m not saying it won’t work out. Nobody can know about that, I’m just
worried that you might be moving too fast.”
HARRY: “I…I know. I know what everyone must be thinking but… it really is our decision at the
end and…” (struggling to not offend) “And I appreciate all the advice, I think it’s good to have
advice, but if we both think that this is right, that this will make us happy then maybe…” (shrugs)
“Maybe we should try it. I know it’s a lot to take in and we move fast and ever since we met,
things have been a non-stop rollercoaster of emotion but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I see
him happy and I know I’m equally as happy, and every moment, every breathing moment feels
right with him and I don’t know why I should approach it with fear, or hold back.”
JOHANNAH: (touches Harry’s hand, smiling at him) “I think everyone is just trying to believe it.
It feels too good to be true and we want to make sure you two have the best possibility of
succeeding.”
HARRY: “I know. I don’t blame you. It doesn’t feel good to have things end.”
Johannah is about to speak when Louis walks in the kitchen and places the bag on the table. He’s a
little frazzled still, out of breath and pink in the face, almost like he ran over here.
JOHANNAH: “You’re back so soon.” (looking through the bag) “Thank you.”
LOUIS: “You’re welcome.” (looks at Harry) “Can I speak to you upstairs for a minute, Harry?”
HARRY: (surprised) “Now?”
LOUIS: (nodding) “Mhmm, ideally, if you’re not too busy with this.”
HARRY: (looks at Johannah who frowns slightly but shrugs) “Sure. I’ll…just wash my hands and
be up there.”
LOUIS: “Ok, I’ll wait.” (walking out) “I’ll be in the guest room.”
JOHANNAH: “Is he okay?”
HARRY: (washing his hands in the sink) “He’s fine. He just, probably heard from Simon or
something.”
JOHANNAH: (nodding but not really buying it) “Probably.”
HARRY: “I’ll be back to help.”
JOHANNAH: “No, no. I have it. It’s towards the end anyway. We just have to put it in the oven
then I’ll take a break as well.”
HARRY: “Ok then. I’ll just see you later?”
JOHANNAH: “Yes.” (after a beat) “Harry?”
HARRY: “Yeah?”
JOHANNAH: “Take care of him. He’s more yours than mine now. I’m trusting you with him.”
2. INT. GUEST ROOM — DAY
HARRY: (entering the room and closing the door behind him) “What’s up?”
LOUIS: (pacing around the room, stops when Harry steps in) “Nothing.”
HARRY: “What did you wanna talk about?”
LOUIS: “Nothing, just…” (rare moment of vulnerability, whispered) “I missed you.”
HARRY: (not expecting it, softening) “Babe.”
LOUIS: “I know, it’s dumb.” (sits down on the bed, head in his hands) “I’m so clingy.”
HARRY: “No, love.” (sits next to him, rubbing his back silently before asking) “What happened?”
LOUIS: “Nothing.” (pulling himself together somewhat) “I love you.”
LOUIS: “Good. Because I do. I don’t say it as often.”
HARRY: (touching his face) “You don’t need to say anything.”
LOUIS: (closing his eyes, almost mouthing the words) “Distract me.”
HARRY: (kisses him, gently lowers him back on the bed while doing it) “Are you sure?”
LOUIS: (brushing Harry’s bangs) “You’re the only thing I’m always sure about.” (urges Harry
closer, Harry kisses him, places his forehead on top of Louis’) “That certainty saves me in a world
where I know nothing for sure.”
HARRY: (hand sneaking under Louis’ shirt) “Are you sure that this will help?” (pinching one of
Louis’ nipples, voice laden with desire) “That this is the best way?”
LOUIS: (whimpering) “Please.”
HARRY: (nods, lowers his face to kiss Louis’ stomach lovingly) “
LOUIS: (threading his fingers in Harry’s hair as Harry works to unzip his pants) “This is the best
reminder that I’m doing nothing wrong here. That I love this, enjoy…” (moans as Harry runs his
lips on Louis’ underwear) “Enjoy this so much and there’s nothing wrong with that.” (whispered)
“That I’m allowed to do this.”
3. INT. JOHANNAH’S ROOM - DAY
LOUIS: (leaning on the door) “Do you tell people about me?”
JOHANNAH: (folding laundry on the bed) “What people?”
LOUIS: “I don’t know, people you talk to. Do you say things about me?”
JOHANNAH: “When they I ask I tell them the basics, you’re not around, you’re working, you
finished school.” (concerned) “Why do you ask?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “I was just wondering how much they know, how things get around.”
JOHANNAH: “We’re proud of you, Louis.”
LOUIS: “That’s not…what I asked.”
JOHANNAH: “People remember you. They ask. We tell them something. It would be stranger not
to. They mean well. They wanna know you’re alive.”
LOUIS: “Did you tell them about Harry?”
JOHANNAH: “I didn’t know about Harry until a month ago.”
LOUIS: “Have you told them?”
JOHANNAH: “I told them you had a friend visiting.”
LOUIS: “Why?”
JOHANNAH: “We were cleaning the house and had people over—”
LOUIS: “Some of these things are personal, mom.”
JOHANNAH: “Having a boyfriend is personal?”
LOUIS: “You told them I had a boyfriend?!”
JOHANNAH: “No, but…Lou, this…this is your life.”

LOUIS: “Exactly. My life.”
JOHANNAH: “This is who you are and we’re fine with that and we don’t see why we should be
keeping it hidden like it’s a big secret.”
LOUIS: “It’s my secret.”
JOHANNAH: “It’s not a secret.”
LOUIS: “That’s…” (frustrated, looking for words) “Look, I…it’s not a secret. I’m…. out. This is
who I am, like you said. I’m fine with that. I’m fine with…being gay.”
JOHANNAH: “We’re fine with it too.”
LOUIS: “Fine. Thanks. That’s good. I appreciate it. But I don’t think it needs to be publicized.”
(after a pause) “Here. I don’t think it’s the place here.”
JOHANNAH: “But if you and Harry get married and come visit—”
LOUIS: “That’s all well and good but it’s literally day one, of me being back, in years. And I
don’t know if this is the time to have all these announcements—I don’t know if my homecoming is
this important, to be made public news.”
JOHANNAH: “No one made it public. We said you were returning. That’s the extent of the
news.”
LOUIS: “Ok.”
JOHANNAH: “It’s not so bad here, you know. Things have changed. People are more accepting
about stuff. It’s not what you think.”
LOUIS: “I don’t know about that.”
JOHANNAH: (saddened) “If you had known earlier, we could have helped you. We could have
been there.”
LOUIS: “I knew.” (Johannah is speechless) “I knew very early and there was nothing anyone
could have done.”
JOHANNAH: “You should have told us.”
LOUIS: “I should have done a lot of things.”
JOHANNAH: “This was important. It is important. You shouldn’t feel like we don’t recognize
that.”
LOUIS: “I knew but I wasn’t ready to accept it. There’s a difference. It’s one I had to figure out
myself.”
4. INT. BATHROOM — DUSK
The sun is setting. Orange violet light filters in the bathroom.
The shower is running. Louis stands under it, face warm, water running down his hair. He opens
his eyes to stare at the bathtub. Droplets hang off his eyelashes. His eyes move up the walls to the
shower cubby, filled with shampoos of all kinds. His fingers lightly graze a razor. He stares at it
with melancholy.
HARRY: (entering the bathroom, oblivious, from behind the shower curtain) “Mind if I join you,
naughty boy?”
LOUIS: (doesn’t look away, pleading) “Come.”
HARRY: (washing his hands, surprised) “Really?”
LOUIS: “It would be nice.”
HARRY: (dries his hands) “I’ll be right there.” (locks the door, discards his pajama pants and t-
shirt on the bath matt, pulls back the shower curtain enough to step in) “Hi love.”
LOUIS: (smiles, looks back at him, eyes taking in Harry’s chest) “How did I end up with you?”
HARRY: (chuckles) “You put up with my awkward, mute days.” (wraps his arms around Louis’
naked body, Harry’s chest on Louis’ back) “How did I end up with you?” (kisses Louis’ cheek from
behind, water falls on both of them, wetting Harry’s hair) “How did I deserve someone like you?”
LOUIS: (joking) “You don’t. You deserve better.” (turns around in Harry’s arms so they’re
facing, notices Harry’s frown) “I’m joking.”
HARRY: (Louis leans in to kiss him, Harry returns it, embracing Louis) “I used to think about this
a lot.” (kissing Louis neck, pulling back to run his fingers through Louis’ wet locks) “Doing this
with you.”
LOUIS: (teasing) “I thought about this next part.” (Harry looks confused so Louis looks down in
between their bodies to where their wet boners push against skin) “I thought it’d get complicated.”
HARRY: (breath hitched at the sight) “I can control myself.”
LOUIS: (nipping at Harry’s jaw) “Uh-huh…is that so?”
HARRY: (eyes closed, head back, enjoying it) “I’m here to get clean. I don’t know what intentions
you have.”
LOUIS: (running his fingers down Harry’s body, resting his hands on Harry’s bum) “I think I’d
much rather like to get dirty.” (grinds his bottom half on Harry’s hip) “What do you think?”
HARRY: (frozen on the spot, tone breathy) “Lou, please.”
LOUIS: (whispering in his ear, provoking him) “Please what?” (jerks his hips lightly) “Please
this?”
HARRY: (heavier breathing, hand bracing on the wall of the shower) “Please, control yourself.”
LOUIS: “Am I being a bad boy?” (Harry gasps in between surprise and arousal) “Will you punish
me now?” (Harry's breathing speeds up) “Should I call you daddy?”
HARRY: (under his breath, strained) “Jesus.”

LOUIS: “I should?”
HARRY: “You’re getting me…” (light moan at the way Louis squeezes his butt and bucks against
him) “You’re getting me…”
LOUIS: “Horny?”
HARRY: “Very.”
LOUIS: “And that’s bad because?”
HARRY: (wraps a hand around Louis’ swollen cock, moves it down slowly, eyes not leaving
Louis’ surprised ones, Louis makes a sound at the unexpected contact) “Because you’re getting
yourself in trouble.”
LOUIS: (smirking) “Oh?” (sarcastic) “How terrifying.” (against Harry’s ear) “You’ll do what?”
(pulling him roughly against his own body, baby voice, taunting him) “Cuddle me to death?”
HARRY: (harsh) “Lou, I swear to god…”
LOUIS: (kissing up his neck) “You’ll do what, Styles?”
HARRY: (moaning lightly) “I’m warning you.”
LOUIS: (ignoring him, thrusting into Harry’s hand) “Is this how it works?”
HARRY: “Yeah…yeah…” (breathily) “It could work like that.” (smirking) “Or?” (suddenly, picks
Louis up by the thighs and slams him on the wall, kissing his mouth roughly, Louis gasps at the
contact but greedily wraps his legs around Harry, Harry pulls back when he notices Louis squirm
in his arms, Harry’s tone is demanding smug) “Or it could work like this.” (thrusts into Louis,
sliding their erections together) “I think this might work better actually.”
LOUIS: (completely floored by the change, aroused, voice silky) “Where has this been?”
HARRY: (whispering, tone husky, very deep) “You’ve been very naughty lately, Lou, and you’re
testing my limits.”
LOUIS: (smirking) “What are you gonna do about it?” (taunting him) “Sounds like you’re all talk,
Styles.”
HARRY: (pulling back reluctantly, leans his forehead on the tiles, nuzzled in the crook of Louis’
shoulder) “You’re driving me completely insane right now.”
LOUIS: “Don’t hesitate.” (sinking his nails in Harry’s back, panting) “You’re—you’re doing
something right now and I don’t even know…”
HARRY: (kissing him, bitting Louis’ bottom lip) “What don’t you know?”
LOUIS: (wraps his hands around Harry’s neck, pulling him into an actual kiss) “I don’t…” (in
between kisses) “I don’t know…” (more kissing) “I don’t know why I want this so bad.”
HARRY: (giddy, relieved) “Yeah? You’re enjoying it?”
LOUIS: (smiling) “Yeah. Now get me off.”

HARRY: “I like when you get demanding.”
LOUIS: (kissing him, rocking against him) “But then you like being in control too. You can’t have
both.”
HARRY: “I can have anything I want.”
LOUIS: (breathy, more frantic and desperate with his thrusts, palms on Harry’s face) “Yeah?”
HARRY: “I have you. You’re all I want.”
LOUIS: (blushed, teasing him, hand moving down Harry’s abs towards their boners) “Yeah?”
HARRY: (shaking with effort, biting his lip) “Ye—yeah.” (watches as Louis wraps his hand
around both of their hard-ons and moves it up and down, moaning unabashedly at the pleasure)
“You’re all mine.” (watching the bliss on Louis’ face almost awed, nuzzles his face on Louis’ neck
and bites the delicate skin) “All mine, baby.”
LOUIS: (eyes shut, neck bared so Harry has more space, mewling slightly at Harry’s nips) “All
yours.”
5. INT. BATHROOM — LATER
Harry and Louis are still in the shower, this time properly washing themselves. Harry rubs foam on
Louis’ back, gently kneading his shoulders. Bruises have started to form in Louis’ shoulder bones.
Harry lowers to kiss them.
HARRY: “I’m sorry, love.”
LOUIS: (a little spaced out) “For what?”
HARRY: “I was rough. You’re hurt.”
LOUIS: (smiling at the memory) “I loved it. I can’t feel my legs, or back, or dick for that matter,
but I fucking loved it.”
HARRY: (wrapping his arms around Louis) “Good.”
LOUIS: (after a few seconds of peacefully feeling the hot water urge the soap down the drain)
“This is where it used to happen.”
HARRY: “What?” (Louis points at the razors sitting on the shelf) “Oh…”
LOUIS: “This is where I used to do it. The only place I could be alone.” (shrugs but the movement
is barely noticeable with how close Harry is hugging him now) “Plus, easier to clean up, you
know?”
HARRY: “Did anyone know?”
LOUIS: “I don’t think so. My mom had bigger things to worry about. Other kids.” (running his
fingers down his scars, tracing them, almost as if he’s reliving the experience) “And I’d do it fast.
I was efficient. I could do it in my sleep.”

HARRY: “Doing that here, having us do that here where you have terrible experiences.”
LOUIS: (turning away from the razors to kiss Harry’s lips lightly) “Don’t be. It was a relief
having something other than blood run down that drain. As disgusting as that sounds.”
6. INT. GUEST ROOM — NIGHT
HARRY: (laying on the bed, on his phone, notices Louis standing by the door) “What’s wrong?
What are you waiting for?”
LOUIS: “Um…I was thinking…”
HARRY: (sets the phone aside to focus on him) “Yeah?”
LOUIS: “Well, I was just…” (frustrated sigh, sits at the edge of the bed) “You know how in the
shower, when we showered together and I told you that.”
LOUIS: “It helped. It was almost like this place that I associated so many bad memories with, so
much pain, I can know erase that—no, not erase that because it will always be there, part of who I
am, but I can have something else, another kind of memory, fresher, stronger, positive. I don’t have
to think only bad things being in there and so I don’t…fear it, exactly. It’s…a normal place again.”
(looks at Harry who is smiling softly at him) “So I was thinking, if we could…do that again. With
my bedroom this time. Maybe we could, you know, sleep there tonight and perhaps…” (shrugs,
embarrassed) “The same thing will happen. You will help heal things.”
HARRY: (hugs him) “You are so strong.”
LOUIS: (hugs back, laughs) “If I was strong I wouldn’t need all the gimmicks.”
HARRY: “Hey, some people never face anything. They run away forever. You’re strong for
coming back here and battling all your demons one by one, on your own.”
LOUIS: “Not exactly on my own.”
HARRY: “I’m just here to support you. But here…” (touches Louis’ forehead, kisses it) “The
battle is brewing.”
LOUIS: “Hopefully a win this time.”
HARRY: “It’s already had so many wins, babe.”
LOUIS: (touched, for a split seconds, almost…proud, of himself???) “Yeah…” (coughs it off,
stands up) “So anyway, if you’re ready to test what sleeping in a kid’s bed is, let’s go.”
HARRY: (follows him, grabbing one of the pillows) “The superheroes will protect me.”
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes) “And you’ll protect me.”
HARRY: “True.”
7. INT. LOUIS’ ROOM — CONTINUOUS
JOHANNAH: (opens the door to Louis’ bedroom, smiles at the sight of the two of them cuddling)
“I was worried you guys disappeared into the night. I didn’t see you in your room.”
HARRY: “We shifted places.”
JOHANNAH: “Aha.”
LOUIS: “For Feng Shui.”
JOHANNAH: (smiles bigger) “Surely. Do you guys need anything? More pillows, another
blanket, the fan maybe?”
LOUIS: “How about condoms?”
JOHANNAH: “Young man, I’d like to think—”
LOUIS: “I’m kidding, mom. We don’t even know what condoms are.”
JOHANNAH: (raising her hand to stop him) “I’d like to think that my son has enough sense to get
himself and his future husband tested.”
LOUIS: (blushing) “Mom!”
JOHANNAH: “What, condoms are expensive? Why invest if you don’t have to?”
HARRY: (laughing in the background) “This woman’s motto is now my motto because she is my
god.”
LOUIS: “This woman’s motto gave her 11 kids.”
HARRY: (can’t contain his laughter) “Louis!”
JOHANNAH: (also smiling in amusement) “Yeah, well. It’s not foolproof.”
LOUIS: (gawking) “I can’t believe I’m having this conversation in my childhood room, like at
least have some respect for the room…” (pointing at a plush bear that has suffered the years) “For
Mr. Teddykins who is pure and good.”
JOHANNAH: “Sorry Mr. Teddykins.” (grabs him off the shelf and walks back out) “I’ll take him
away so you don’t feel too guilty.”
LOUIS: “Doing what?”
JOHANNAH: (mock innocent) “How should I know? I’m only an oblivious mother with 11 kids.”
(starting to close the door slowly) “Good night, kiddos. Don’t have too much fun. The twins are
next door and Doris will start to wonder.”
LOUIS: “If she appears next to my bed in the middle of the night like some creep, I will drop-kick
her in the face, just saying.”
HARRY: (horrified) “How dare you!”

JOHANNAH: “Hey, I’ve almost done it myself.” (Harry’s horrified look turns to her) “It’s called
having kids. You two will learn. Good night now.”
LOUIS: “Night, mom.”
HARRY: “Night, demon mom.”
JOHANNAH: “I like that. That will have to stay.”
8. INT. LOUIS’ ROOM — LATER ( MACK’S SUBMISSION )
HARRY: ( gently tracing circles on LOUIS’ back ) It’s late, you should be asleep.
LOUIS: ( groaning, propping himself up on his elbows, a lopsided smirk on his face ) Says you,
the one who never goes to sleep on time. ( overly-dramatic, rolling his eyes ) And then insists on
complaining about it the next morning.
HARRY: ( gently slapping LOUIS’ arm ) I do not do that!
LOUIS: ( laughing, rolling to lay on his back ) Look, why are you even worried about how much
sleep I get?
HARRY: Because you’re my baby and I want you to get all the rest you need. ( sarcastically,
teasingly ) And you get cranky when you don’t get enough sleep.
LOUIS: ( exasperated, he throws an arm over his eyes ) Quit patronizing me, I just have trouble
falling asleep sometimes. ( eyes pop open, he rolls over to where his face is inches away from
HARRY’S, eyes half-lidded, mischievous ) You know what’ll help me, right?
HARRY: ( even in the darkness, his blush is noticeable, and his eyes dart away from LOUIS’ )
Louis, it’s three in the morning.
LOUIS: Yes, but it’s eight in the morning in China. ( snuggles up against HARRY, his lips grazing
his neck. His voice is one part whiny, one part pleading ) Come on, please? It’ll help me sleep.
HARRY: ( chuckling, lifting his hand to run it up and down LOUIS’ spine ) I’m pretty sure you’re
wrong about it being eight in China. They’re like twelve hours ahead of us.
LOUIS: ( reaching down to pinch HARRY’S stomach ) Shut the fuck up. I didn’t ask for your sass.
HARRY: Ow! I was not being sassy, Louis Tomlinson! ( pushing LOUIS off of him, laughing as
he flails ) Now go to sleep.
LOUIS: ( recovering from his stumble, he sits up abruptly, a bit violently, running a hand through
his messy hair, he looks determinedly at HARRY, his eyes narrowed ) Don’t act like you don’t want
fool around. ( eyes flickering to HARRY’S crotch, which is, incidentally, tented ) You’re not very
good at hiding your intense, intense desire for me.
HARRY: ( blushing furiously again, he yanks the covers up, or tries to, but LOUIS grabs the
sheets before he can and throws them off the bed ) Louis! ( sitting up ) How are you so energetic
anyways?
LOUIS: ( throwing his legs across HARRY, straddling him, hovering above him, their crotches
dangerously close to touching ) I’m energetic because I’m horny and because you’re right here . (
leaning down to nip at HARRY’S ear ) Besides, if you ever want to me to fall asleep, you’re going
to have to help. ( sits back up, resting his crotch against HARRY’s ) Give a little, get a little.
HARRY: ( trying to ignore the friction LOUIS is creating, straining his neck back, but
nonetheless, his hands grip LOUIS’ hips ) That phrase is not applicable here, Louis.
LOUIS: ( rolling his eyes, he rolls his hips against HARRY’s crotch, resulting in a delicious moan
from HARRY ) Quit being a smart ass. Just let me love you, babe. ( rolls hips again ) Please?
HARRY: ( his eyes slide shut, and he sighs, giving in to LOUIS ) Fine, yes, okay. Just please stop
teasing me.
LOUIS: ( pumping his fist in the air, cheering obnoxiously ) Yes! Tommo’s getting laid again,
ladies and gentlemen.
HARRY: ( rolling his eyes, he laughs at LOUIS, but his gaze is loving ) You’re a mess. A needy,
horny mess.
LOUIS: ( pulling his shirt off and bending down to swiftly kiss HARRY, who isn’t expecting it )
Yes, but you love me anyway.
HARRY: ( under his breath, mostly to himself ) That I do.
LOUIS: Let’s get this started.
( LOUIS wastes no time, reaching down and tracing HARRY’s bare chest, walking the valley of his
abs, drinking him all in. HARRY grips LOUIS’ hips tighter, biting his lip and arching his neck as
LOUIS works his way down to his crotch, his fingers barely slipping underneath the waistband of
HARRY’s boxers. LOUIS’s eyes gain a lustful haze as he feels his dick growing harder beneath his
own boxers. Not wanting to tease HARRY any longer, LOUIS shoves his hand all the way inside
HARRY’s underwear, taking him in his hand. He’s hard, pulsing, and twitches in response to
LOUIS’ touch. )
HARRY: ( head thrown back in bliss, his voice low and aroused ) Fuck, babe.
( In response to HARRY, LOUIS smiles, and squeezes HARRY’s dick in his hand, running it up and
down his length. He scoots back a bit to gain better, easier access, and while his own dick protests
at the lack of friction, it’s worth it to see the reaction on HARRY’s face as he speeds up his
rubbing. He pulls down the thin fabric until it rests around HARRY’s ankles, and he leans down
until his face his eye level with HARRY’s dick. LOUIS’ eyes flicker up to look at HARRY, who’s
eyes are still shut, his back now arched, basically thrusting up against LOUIS’ face. His hands
have moved from gripping LOUIS to gripping handfuls of bedsheets. LOUIS can hear his heavy
breathing, and it only turns him on further. )
LOUIS: ( against HARRY’s dick ) You look very pretty tonight, love.
HARRY: ( chuckling, though it sounds a bit frustrated ) I try.
LOUIS: Bet you taste even better than you look. ( eyes seductive, voice low ) Let’s find out.
HARRY: ( as LOUIS’ tongue runs up and down his length, he bucks up against him ) Holy shit,
Louis. That, that’s good.
LOUIS: ( mockingly smacking his lips ) You do taste good. ( repeats action, his tongue swirling
around the tip, licking up all the pre-cum ) Very good.
HARRY: ( breathless ) Okay, you don’t have to describe it to me, just, just keep doing what
you’re doing.
LOUIS: ( a mischievous smile on his face, he removes his mouth from HARRY’s dick ) What is it
exactly that I’m doing, Harry? Do describe it to me.
HARRY: ( placing his hands roughly on LOUIS’ shoulders and pushing him down, practically
forcing his mouth back around his dick ) Don’t tease me, Tomlinson. Suck.
LOUIS: ( surprised, he laughs against HARRY’s dick, sliding his hands underneath his thighs to
gain better access ) Dominant Harry should make an appearance more often, much more
enjoyable.
HARRY: ( desperate ) Louis…
LOUIS: Okay, okay, I’m sorry. ( lowering his mouth slowly around HARRY’s now rock hard dick,
using a free hand to squeeze his balls ) Back to business.
HARRY: ( finally opening his eyes to stare down at LOUIS, panting ) Aren’t you supposed to be
the one I’m giving the blow job to?
LOUIS: ( eyes flickering to meet HARRY’s, he lifts his head once more, confused ) Do you want to
switch places?
HARRY: ( almost instantly, pushing LOUIS back onto his dick ) No, no that’s not what I meant.
It’s just…( loses train of thought as LOUIS begins to suck on his dick ) Yeah, no, this is good. If
you’re okay with it, it’s up to-
LOUIS: ( cutting HARRY off ) Harry, shut up. Just enjoy yourself love, stop talking so much.
HARRY: ( nodding to himself as LOUIS returns to sucking his dick ) Right, right. ( as LOUIS
deepthroats him ) Fuck!
( LOUIS laughs and revels in the effect he’s able to have on HARRY. He continues sucking on his
dick, running his hand over the portion he’s unable to take in his mouth. With his free hand, he
begins to trace HARRY’s hole, something he’s a bit wary of, but HARRY thrusts up against the
finger, and so LOUIS goes with it. LOUIS is aware that his finger is dry, and he’s aware that that
isn’t ideal, so he slips it his mouth along with HARRY’s dick and wets it, before returning it to
HARRY’s hole. He slips it in, and HARRY audibly groans with pleasure, moving his hands to
tangle themselves in LOUIS hair. )
HARRY: That’s, yeah, that’s, oh my God. ( pulling at LOUIS hair ) Close, now.
LOUIS: ( hardly understandable, HARRY’s dick in his mouth ) Yeah?
HARRY: ( pressing his lips together, he nods roughly, his breathing increasing, his heart racing,
his eyes sliding shut again ) Shit, Louis, you’re making me feel so good.
LOUIS: How’s this pace? Do you need me to change it any?
HARRY: ( opening his eyes, trying to find LOUIS’ eyes in the darkness, catches his gaze and tries
to appear frustrated, but only winds up looking vaguely confused ) I thought you didn’t like a lot of
talking?
LOUIS: ( giggling ) Don’t use my own words against me, Haz, you’re ruining the mood.
HARRY: ( raising his eyebrows ) I’m ruining the mood? Quit asking me what I want, you know
exactly what I want. You’re just teasing me. Stop it.
LOUIS: ( holding up his hands ) Okay, okay, I’ll stop it. I’ll just go at a funeral-march pace, how
about that?
HARRY: ( trying to appear angry, but can’t suppress his laughter ) Louisss, stop teasing!
LOUIS: ( being a smart-ass ) So faster then? Is that what little Harry wants? For me to mouth-fuck
his dick faster?
HARRY: ( nodding, becoming increasingly desperate for some relief ) Yes, that’s what little Harry
wants. He wants you to suck his dick faster. Like race-car speed.
LOUIS: ( pauses, the silence hanging in between them for a few seconds, before he bursts into the
laughter, dipping his head ) You did not just say that.
HARRY: ( truly frustrated now ) Louis!
LOUIS: Sorry, sorry! ( wrapping his fingers around HARRY’s length again ) Okay, no more
teasing. Fast like a race car. I can do that. Vroom vroom.
HARRY: ( rolling his eyes ) Oh my god. You’re so frustrating, I hope you know that.
LOUIS: ( his mouth full of HARRY ) Yeah, but I know how to give a good blowjob.
HARRY: ( eyes flying open, he presses his hands against LOUIS’ head, forcing him to deepthroat
him ) No more talking! And don’t get cocky, I haven’t come yet.
LOUIS: ( mumbled, slurred ) Oh, you will. Tommo never fails to deliver.
HARRY: ( as LOUIS truly does begin to take him again ) Shit, that’s good.
LOUIS: ( fully turned on himself, he reaches down to touch his own, rock hard dick ) I love you.
HARRY: ( thrusting up into LOUIS’ mouth at an increasing pace, head thrown back in pure bliss
) Close, close, close. Fucking hell.
( LOUIS speeds up his sucking, fingering HARRY faster, sucking harder, doing all the things that
he knows will send HARRY over the edge, and it’s working. HARRY is a writhing mess beneath
him, thrusting up into LOUIS’ mouth, meeting LOUIS’ own thrust, which only results in double the
pleasure for HARRY. He’s close, and LOUIS can tell )
LOUIS: ( running his hand up and down his own length as he continues to simultaneously finger
HARRY and run his tongue up and down his length ) Cum for me, Harry.
HARRY: ( moaning loudly, hands gripping LOUIS’ hair, he comes, thrusting into LOUIS’ mouth
as far as he can go, spilling down LOUIS throat, riding out his orgasm with sputtered breaths, a
racing heart, and a high so intense his legs shake ) Oh my fucking, God. Holy fucking shit.
LOUIS: ( swallowing, he removes his mouth from HARRY’s length ) Good, yeah?
HARRY: ( opening his eyes to look down at LOUIS, nodding his head slowly ) Of course. I love
you, so much.
LOUIS: ( smiling, moving out from between HARRY’s legs and laying next to him, cuddling
against his side ) I love you, too, you sweet boy.
HARRY: ( wrapping his arm around LOUIS, he’s confused ) Wait? Don’t you want me to return
the favor? It’s you who needs the help sleeping, after all.
LOUIS: ( chuckling, lifting his hand to touch HARRY’s jaw, still shining with sweat ) Babe, I came
just watching you come. I’m good.
HARRY: ( concerned, a bit guilty ) Are you sure? I’m happy to-
LOUIS: ( pressing his lips to HARRY’s to cut him off ) I’m sure, Hazza, don’t worry about me. I’m
nice and sleepy now.
HARRY: ( still unsure, but he gives in nonetheless ) Okay fine, if you’re sure.
LOUIS: ( snuggling against HARRY’s side, closing his eyes ) Next time, however, I don’t want to
have to beg for it.
HARRY: ( laughing loudly, kissing LOUIS’ head ) You hardly begged, you just annoyed me until
I gave in.
LOUIS: ( yawning, voice quieter ) Whatever.
9. INT. LOUIS’ ROOM — DAWN
HARRY: (rolls around wanting to wrap his arm around Louis but notices the bed is empty)
“Lou?” (rubs his eyes open) “Lou?”
LOUIS: (standing in front of the window, looking at the starting sunset) “I’m here, go back to
sleep.”
HARRY: (pulling the covers away) “What are you doing?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “I woke up and thought it’d be nice to see the sunset.”
HARRY: (head cocked sideways) “I see…” (stands behind Louis, his chin on Louis’ head) “Can I
watch with you?”
LOUIS: (sniffles, wipes his nose to the back of his hands) “It’s really beautiful.”
HARRY: “Yeah.” (kisses Louis head) “Why are you crying, baby?”
LOUIS: (sniffles again before bursting in a teary laugh) “Fuck if I know. I’m just…” (shrugs,
cuddles back into Harry’s chest, Harry squeezes him tighter) “I’m so happy. For the first time in
such a long time, I’m so happy and I didn’t even know this happy was possible anywhere, let alone
here?”
Reevaluate
Chapter 124: Reevaluate
1. INT. LOUIS’ ROOM — DAY
HARRY: (waking up to bright sun filtering through the bedroom’s windows, Harry blinks and
squints) “God, what time is it?” (looks at Louis who is already fully awake) “How long have you
been up?”
LOUIS: “Around an hour.”
HARRY: (yawning) “Why didn’t you wake me?”
LOUIS: “Thought you wanted to sleep. We slept late yesterday.”
HARRY: “Thanks to whom?”
LOUIS: (grinning) “Me. Which is why I paid you back by letting you sleep. Aren’t I the best?”
HARRY: “Uh-huh.” (another yawn) “And what have you been doing all this time? Other than, of
course, watching me sleep like the angel that I am.”
LOUIS: (amused) “As pressing and frankly distracting as that was, I was actually doing some
thinking. I tend to do that a lot.”
HARRY: (rolls over to wrap an arm around Louis) “About what?”
LOUIS: “How this room needs serious revamping, for one. It has the decor of a pre-masturbating,
geeky boy with glasses and ”
HARRY: “You didn’t masturbate until you went to college?”
LOUIS: “I haven’t redecorated since my middle-school years.”
HARRY: “You didn’t masturbate until you went to high school?”
LOUIS: “I was an innocent, god-trusting child who didn’t commit since.” (after a few seconds)
“Why? Did you?”
HARRY: (sheepish) “I was the complete opposite. Practically humped every corner of the house
at eleven.”
LOUIS: “Nasty. Goes to show it’s always the ones you underestimate.”
HARRY: “Secondly…”
LOUIS: “Secondly what?”
HARRY: “You said that was your first thought. What next?”
LOUIS: “How I have to trash a lot of shit or someone might have me star on Hoarders.”
HARRY: “Not enough dead cats under the bed for that.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, pity. I could have been famous.”
HARRY: “The Real World: Disney is still an option.”
LOUIS: “That should be your next movie project at NYU.”
HARRY: “It very well might be. But you’re wrong. I like the storage look.”
LOUIS: “Are you being sarcastic?”
HARRY: (sitting up a little so his back is on the pillows, looking around) “It feels…preserved.
Like a museum.”
LOUIS: “A museum of cringe.”
HARRY: “A museum of who you used to be. Feels like…” (fearful of sounding melodramatic)
“Like I stepped into your diary or something.”
LOUIS: (fear realized) “That is the most extra thing I’ve ever heard. Your name is now John
Green.”
HARRY: “It is! It’s a part of you. The symptoms of the life you lead.”
LOUIS: “And what’s your diagnosis, Dr. Cheesy-mouth.”
HARRY: “That you were always a little shit. A douchebaby that grew up to be a douchebag.”
LOUIS: (nodding sarcastically) “Deep. What would I have found if I stepped into your middle-
school diary?”
HARRY: (wriggling his eyebrows, tone low) “A list of objects I was thinking of shoving up my
bum.”
LOUIS: (laughs) “You’re fucking disgusting.”
HARRY: “I gotta go back and add one more.”
LOUIS: “What’s that?”
HARRY: (grabs Louis’ hand) “These things.” (Louis yanks it away, makes a grossed-out face) “I
think I’ll rate it a ten, right after banana.”
LOUIS: (amused) “You know how to boost a man’s ego.”
HARRY: “I like the room. Look at all your trophies. Don’t you enjoy remembering you were
number one in literally everything. I’d think that’s your favorite past-time.”
LOUIS: “I had issues.”
HARRY: “Being good at stuff isn’t an issue. Try being me in short shorts, getting pummeled by
dodgeball. And enjoying it too.” (Louis pinches him) “Hey!”
LOUIS: “Didn’t you enjoy that?”
HARRY: “I mean, if you’re gonna do it, do it right. Let me have it.”
LOUIS: “We’re talking about my room. Can you stop being horny for half a second so I can
nostalgia properly and give my character monologue?”
HARRY: “I can. I can. Continue.”
LOUIS: “Lost my train of thought now.”
HARRY: “You used to do a lot of things.”
LOUIS: “Piano, debate, baseball, tennis at times, I tried to do art but it didn’t work out that well. I
was okay at pottery. Kept making clay dicks. Could have started my own business at thirteen. I
was very gung-ho about everything.”
HARRY: “Soccer too. All the posters.”
LOUIS: “I loved soccer.”
HARRY: “Were you on the team?”
LOUIS: “Yeah. For a long time.” (pointing at a shirt that’s hung on the wall) “That’s my old
jersey.”
HARRY: “Why didn’t you play in college?”
LOUIS: “I wasn’t that good. Plus, I quit last year of high school. I didn’t think I’d be liking it
again anytime soon.”
HARRY: (frowning) “Why?”
LOUIS: “It’s a bit of a long story.”
HARRY: “Long like we’ll be in bed all day—which I don’t mind at all. Or long like I’d-rather-
not-talk-about-it.”
LOUIS: “A bit of both, I guess.” (Harry’s silent) “The short version is: I couldn’t anymore. They
uh, didn’t want me to, basically.”
HARRY: “Your parents?”
LOUIS: “The team.”
HARRY: “The team?”
LOUIS: “Pretty much. I wasn’t the most popular kid, if you catch my drift.”
HARRY: “But you can’t force people out of teams. Why would the school allow that? You had
earned your spot—”
LOUIS: “I quit. They just made my quitting inevitable.” (stretching to move out of bed, signaling
the end of the conversation) “It’s old news anyway.”
HARRY: “We should play.”
LOUIS: “Where?”
HARRY: “Outside. After breakfast. You could teach me.”
LOUIS: (likes the idea but is wary) “I’m rusty.”
HARRY: (giddy) “You’re better than me.”
2. EXT. BACKYARD — DAY
LOUIS: “Ok, I’m gonna pass it now.” (passes the ball gently to Harry who nevertheless misses it
on the first kick) “Ah god.” (Harry makes contact the second kick but it flies in a random direction,
Louis has to sprint to get to it) “Well…”
HARRY: (overly proud) “I had it that time.”
LOUIS: (makes a face) “Had it, okay, let’s go with that.”
HARRY: “I actually kicked it, I might not be as good as you—”
LOUIS: “As good as me, ha. You’re not even in the same category.” (dribbles the ball between his
feet) “I’m like almost championship level and you have yet to hit one ball in the correct direction.”
HARRY: “You’re not supposed to hit balls where a person is.” (stumbles to catch Louis’ pass)
“You’re supposed to hit them towards the goal. You’re supposed to avoid people.”
LOUIS: (catches Harry’s pass with his chest and drops the ball down) “Right, that’s very correct.
You have figured the mechanics of failing just right.” (dribbling the ball around Harry, Harry tries
to intercept it and fails) “Come on then…” (teasing) “I bet Ernest would be better at this than
you.”
HARRY: “Fuck off.” (struggling to take the ball from him, clumsy, awkward, tall beauty not
meant for sporty things, must be protected, must be saved) “You could go a little easier on me…”
(both chuckle as Harry wipes sweat of his brow) “I’m dying here.”
LOUIS: “You wanted this.”
HARRY: “I wanted to see your massive thighs do athletic things then wrap around my face.”
LOUIS: (stops in shock) “There are children in this house, Harold Curly Styles.”
HARRY: “Sorry, sorry.” (mock whisper) “Please, strangle me with your hot, sexy, dick-riding
thighs, daddy.”
LOUIS: “Please, never say that again.”
HARRY: “Please, punish me so I learn my lesson.”
LOUIS: “Please, add that to the list too.”
HARRY: “Please, just put me out of my misery and give me what I want.”
LOUIS: (smirking) “Please, be clearer.”
HARRY: “Please, fuck me sometime when you are free, I’m free tonight, and every other night
after.”
LOUIS: (blushed) “Well, at least you’re subtle about it.” (passing him the ball) “Here. Kick with
the side of your foot, not the front, that’s like soccer 101.”
LOTTIE: (from the doorway, dressed up to go out) “Soccer, he says. He has become
americanized.” (walking across the yard) “For shame, big brother. If I can even call you that at this
point. Who even are you?”
LOUIS: (stops playing to look at her) “Where are you going with all that sass?”
HARRY: “It definitely runs in the family. Though, she might be better—”
LOUIS: “Ah, ah. I don’t wanna hear it if you want that last request granted any time soon.”
HARRY: (motions that he has zipped it shut) “You got me there.”
LOTTIE: “You better listen to him, Hazza, or Doris won’t have any more moments to be witness
to.”
LOUIS: “Hazza? Since when are you on a ‘Hazza’ basis?”
LOTTIE: “Since when we obviously got married behind your back and didn’t invite you to the
wedding.”
LOUIS: “Oooh, this is awkward. We actually did that. Sorry. Maybe next time you’ll get an
invitation.”
LOTTIE: “Wait, what?” (Louis shrugs, smirking) “Are you serious? Because mom is gonna kill
you if that’s true. She didn’t even get to pick the flowers!”
HARRY: (picking up the ball and bouncing it off Louis’ back as punishment) “He’s not serious.
We would never get married without the whole family being there. Marriage is special.”
LOUIS: (to Harry) “You could be a little fun some times, it wouldn’t kill you.”
LOTTIE: “See, and that’s the reason why he’s the best and you’re the worst. How are you even
together?”
LOUIS: “Opposites attract. Shoo now. We have football practice to continue.”
LOTTIE: (rolls her eyes, on her way down the street) “Mom asked if you’re available to babysit
the twins again today.”
HARRY: (looks at Louis, Louis shrugs) “We should be.”
LOUIS: “Yeah. Unless…”
HARRY: “I mean, unless you had something else to do…”
LOUIS: “We could do something else. We don’t only have to be with my family…if you’re tired
of them.”
HARRY: “I’m not.” (pause) “Are you?”
LOUIS: “Course not. I just thought.”
HARRY: “Whatever you want, babe.”
LOUIS: “What do you want?”
HARRY: “I’m here as a guest, soaking up every single experience. I think you should be the one
making the decisions.”
LOUIS: (sighing, motioning for Harry to throw the ball, he does, Louis catches it mid-air, stops it
and kicks it back) “I think we’ve seen I’m not that good at doing that.”
HARRY: (kicks it back, better now) “Huh? HUH?”
LOUIS: “That was fine, I suppose.”
HARRY: “I’m learning.”
LOUIS: “I can see that.”
HARRY: “But you can teach me a lot more tricks. We can practice together and then maybe we’ll
do it for fun somewhere. With Liam and the others.”
LOUIS: “Liam can’t play to save his life. Eleanor is probably better than he is. Niall is good. I
assume Zayn doesn’t play lest he break his manicured nails.”
HARRY: “Zayn’s a beast. At everything. We can get a team. MY friends versus your friends.”
LOUIS: (trash talking) “Awkward since I have like friends to make two teams and you have half a
friend.”
HARRY: “We’ll see. Liam probably will play for me. He showed me his abs once.”
LOUIS: “Fair.”
HARRY: “We can get Nick.”
LOUIS: “Are we trying to play soccer or ruin our relationship? Because I thought the first but if
the later, why don’t you bring your discount me.”
HARRY: “Beau? You know he’d come and he has like five dozen brothers so I don’t know if thats
—”
LOUIS: “Bring him! Me against lame me. I can kick his ass.”
HARRY: “We’ll see. Let’s teach me how to play first then organize the next Hunger Games.”
LOUIS: “Ok, agreed. But there will be an all out game.”
HARRY: (smiling fondly) “Sure.”

RANDOM VOICE: (having just walked by and stopped at the edge of the yard, leaning over the
fence) “Or we could play now, a preliminary warm-up match.” (Harry and Louis look back at the
interruption) “Hi!” (Harry and Louis look at each other as if t say ‘you seeing this too or?’)
“Hannah said you were in town so I thought I’d say hi since I live a few houses over, sorry. That
was creepy I guess.”
LOUIS: “Ha, yeaaaaah. I’m back?” (awkward silence) “I’m sorry, but…”
RANDOM VOICE: (understanding) “Calvin. I lived…” (pointing down the street) “There. Tall,
we were in the same team?” (Louis’ smile falls but Calvin keeps talking—is everyone in Doncaster
a social skills moron? In this story, yeah, take it with the manager) “Man, you really have
forgotten everyone. I guess it’s been a while. We haven’t seen you in forever.”
LOUIS: (awkward, farty chuckles) “Yeah, I see lots of faces every day. New faces, old faces, just
lots of faces.” (Harry cocks his head, trying not to giggle) “Plus, it’s been years and people have
grown into their uh bodies.”
CALVIN: “Right. I was—you were like…so different. Tiny, I mean, this is crazy. Who even are
you?”
LOUIS: (mimicking in mocking) “I know right, who even am I? Who am I?!”
CALVIN: “I wouldn’t even have recognized you but your voice is…pretty much that same awful
pitch.” (Louis smile could kill someone, Calvin realizes what he just said, this is so uncomfortable
for everyone, Calvin looks at Harry finally if just to stop getting glared at by Louis) “Hi, I’m
Calvin. I don’t think we’ve met.”
LOUIS: “This is Harry. He has a normal pitch, if not too deep.”
HARRY: (walks to shake Calvin’s hand, tighter than usual) “Hi, nice to meet you.”
CALVIN: (shakes back) “We went to the same school, me and Louis, and uh, I heard he…”
(talking directly at Louis now) “You were back, Louis, and thought I’d say hi. I mean if you guys
wanna play soccer we can probably get a bunch of guys together and do some sort of five on five.”
LOUIS: (balloon meet needle) “Yeah, I don’t know. We won’t be here for too long.”
HARRY: (reading the awkwardness in the air) “Plus, I don’t think I’m ready for a match. I can
barely get the rules straight.”
CALVIN: “It’s easy to learn… but anyway, are you coming tonight? Hannah said, she told you.
She said you would and I thought we can all go together. It’ll be fun. We usually just hang out and
stuff, it’s not that big of a thing. Could be cool to catch up. If you guys aren’t busy that is?”
HARRY: (looks at Louis, who seems frozen for an answer) “We…were gonna watch a movie
tonight but I don’t know.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, movie.”
CALVIN: “Oh, which one?”
LOUIS: “Uh…”
HARRY: “Whatever’s good. We do this thing where we have a date night every weekend…”
(Hello, did Zayn possess you???!??!) “Watch a new movie, to keep up with them.”
CALVIN: (nodding) “Right. That sounds fun.” (looking at Louis) “Maybe you could swing by
after the movie? We’re there for a while.”
LOUIS: (forced smile) “Maybe.”
LOUIS: (as soon as the door is closed behind them) “I was gonna tell you about it.”
HARRY: (at the same time) “I’m sorry.”
LOUIS: “It completely slipped my mind—what?”
HARRY: (stressed) “I didn’t mean it, it just, I’m used to…I didn’t think twice. I thought, I’m so
sorry.”
LOUIS: “What are you talking about?”
HARRY: “Outing you?” (Louis is still lost) “Saying date night?”
LOUIS: “Ohhhh. No, no, that’s fine. I don’t care. They probably all know anyway. My mom talks
a lot.”
HARRY: “Still, that’s… your thing. It should be your decision. How you say it. Who you say it to.
When. Just because you’re out back in the city doesn’t mean you are required to be out
everywhere. It’s up to you. I’d understand and I completely forgot.”
LOUIS: “I’ve thought of it and…” (shaking his head) “It really shouldn’t be a big deal. It’s not to
me, not anymore. I don’t…belong here. I don’t care what they think of me, so fuck it, let them see
it all. I don’t wanna hide anymore…”
HARRY: “You do belong. This is your home.”
LOUIS: “I’ve had many homes.”
HARRY: “You shouldn’t feel like—”
LOUIS: (interrupting) “I’m working on it, ok. I know. I know and I’m working on it. I hadn’t
touched this place in years and now everything is happening very, very quickly and I just don’t
wanna be…doing all this all at once. It won’t be all at once. I have to ease into it.”
HARRY: “I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push.”
LOUIS: “You haven’t. At all.” (gulps) “It’s just part of why I wasn’t sure about going to the thing.
I don’t know if that’s something I wanna think about right now. Family’s important. I wanted to
reconnect with them. But those people, they mean nothing to me and they don’t even…”
(frustrated, getting more emotional) “They didn’t even care about me back then. They don’t know
me. I don’t understand why they wanna pretend they did, now that we’re back and we’re adults.”
HARRY: “Maybe they’ve grown up and changed their minds.” (Louis is convinced) “But if you
don’t feel like going, if it’s not gonna be a fun thing, we won’t go.”
LOUIS: “I don’t want you thinking that this is all we have to do.”
HARRY: “I love doing this.”
LOUIS: “I don’t want you trapped inside this house until I’m done getting over what I hate about
it.”
HARRY: “We’re not trapped. We can go wherever we want. In fact, you wanna go now?”
LOUIS: “Where? The babies…”
HARRY: “We’ll take them to the park. We can have an outing, a picnic. It would be good for
them to get some air and run around. What do you think?”
4. EXT. PARK — DAY
LOUIS: (sitting on a blanket on the grass, watching Ernest and Doris run around throwing a ball)
“I hope it’s better for them.”
HARRY: (laying down on the grass, eyes shut because of the sun) “What is?”
LOUIS: “Everything. I hope the world is a better place for them when they’re ready to face it.”
HARRY: (opening one eye with difficulty to look at him) “It will be. Every generation progresses.”
(closing his eye, smirking) “Plus, once these oldies die off, the hatred will be buried with them.”
LOUIS: “In my experience, people my age were much crueler than any adult could be.” (more to
himself) “Hatred is passed down. Parents teach their kids the wrong things—teach them how to see
differences, how to repress their love…” (looking at Harry) “You were right, you know? About
Disney, that day.”
HARRY: (rolling on his side to shield his eyes, head propped on a hand) “Not necessarily.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, you were. Back then, I couldn’t…” (shaking his head, almost mocking himself) “I
couldn’t even be ok with myself yet, being out there, let alone take action and have an agenda. But
the truth is that it is our responsibility. We should be teaching kids how to love if their own parents
aren’t. I’m sure it makes a difference to get exposed to that message even if in your childhood, all
you knew was how to hate.”
HARRY: “It’s not that simple. I was exposed to it. Still struggled.”
LOUIS: “How did you come out? I never asked. I actually went around and asked every gay
person at Disney but never asked you.”
HARRY: “Why did you?”
LOUIS: “To gather data.” (flustered) “It’s unimportant now. Quite embarrassing.”
HARRY: “I love embarrassing.”
LOUIS: (blushing more with each word) “Fine. I was just, I found out you were gay and I was
wondering—”
HARRY: “If you were too?”

LOUIS: (breathy chuckle) “No, I mean…maybe subconsciously. At first I was wondering how to
be friends with you.” (Harry frowns slightly) “Not that anything changed with us, with how I saw
you, it didn’t. But after we fought, I felt like you hated me and I needed to prove to you that I…that
I couldn’t care less about that. I only cared that I didn’t lose you.” (touches Harry’s knee) “I was so
happy with you.”
HARRY: (smiling at him) “I always knew. As a child, I was always…different, I guess. I was
interested in clothes, all kinds of them and—and not that that makes you gay by any means, but it
brought attention to me. It made people notice me. It made my mom think that she should give
me…” (air quotes) “The speech.” (chuckles at the memory) “Back then, I might not have known
what really liking a person was but I went into it with an open mind because I knew that it could go
all different ways.”
LOUIS: “Because of the speech.”
HARRY: “Right. So when I was in middle school, I met Will. Sweeney, from that time. The band
boy.”
LOUIS: “The dude at the bar? Very unattractive, I’d say.”
HARRY: “Yeah, yeah. Cheshire was lacking in boys like you.”
LOUIS: “That so?” (smirking) “What are boys like me like?”
HARRY: (licking his lips, trying not to smile so much) “Pretty, confident, social butterflies. People
that could have anyone they ever wanted. People that make you think, damn, I’d be lucky if they
even looked my way. When you spoke to me, I was shocked.”
LOUIS: “You know, it’s funny to me that you don’t consider yourself pretty.”
HARRY: “I didn’t say that. I never said that. But I don’t have the rest of the stuff. I’m not you.”
LOUIS: (smile going from flattered to semi-sad) “You’re better off. I wasn’t, as you probably have
guessed, that wasn’t always my life and even when it was…” (sucks on his bottom lip) “I wasn’t
happy. I think that’s the case for a lot of people that get put on a pedestal. We’re all unhappy in our
own ways. We have problems but they’re not always addressed. Sometimes we’re blinded by the
popularity and don’t think about them. Sometimes other people don’t want to believe it. Either
way, it’s not everything in life.”
HARRY: “What made you most unhappy?”
LOUIS: “I had friends but not real friends. They knew some of me but none of the real me. I didn’t
have a real family. I didn’t have a real job—in my mind at least. It was another one of those
temporary things that at some point would expire.”
HARRY: (jokingly) “You didn’t have love.”
LOUIS: “Yeah. No, that’s true. I hadn’t had that connection with anyone and I doubted people
would wanna do it with me.”
HARRY: “And then I came along…”
LOUIS: “And then this naive, adorkable, super sexual yet innocent cookie came along and made
the worst mistake of his life.”
HARRY: “I like when you tell our how-we-met story. It’s different every time.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, it changes based on hindsight. Every time I look back I realize I was gay for you a
little bit earlier.”
5. INT. LOUIS’ ROOM — LATER
HARRY: (a freshly showered, enters the bedroom) “I missed you today. Had no one to wash my
back for me.” (plopping beside Louis on the floor) “Or my front for that matter.”
LOUIS: (cross-legged, a thick, glossy book on his lap) “I got caught up.”
HARRY: (glances down at the pages, spots a young ‘fetus’ Louis) “Is that you ?”
LOUIS: “Yup. Yearbook. I was going through the shit in this place and stumbled upon—” (shoves
the book in Harry’s hands, jams his finger on it to point out his photo) “This piece of work.”
HARRY: (in awe) “Oh my god. It’s precious.”
LOUIS: “It’s embarrassing.”
HARRY: (looking up almost comparing the two Loui) “It’s so cute. You were so small.”
LOUIS: “I was embarrassing. Look at that hairstyle, god help us all, deliver us from emo teenagers
with that haircut.”
HARRY: “Everyone went through that phase.”
LOUIS: “Did you?”
HARRY: “Oh, you don’t even wanna look at my middle school pictures. I once straightened my
hair. It didn’t go as well as you curling yours, trust me.”
LOUIS: “Still not as bad as that atrocity.”
HARRY: “Yeah, I guess this is pretty fetusy.”
LOUIS: (pushes Harry away, takes the book from him to look again) “Fetusy?”
HARRY: “Small, pure, unprepared for the big, bad world.”
LOUIS: “I was not prepared.” (turning the page and running his fingers down the book) “I used to
think this was the entire world.” (Harry nods, moves closer towards him but stays silent) “I
imagined nothing would ever change, that I’d always be that unpopular, obnoxious child with
weird fantasies.”
HARRY: “And the awful pitch.”
LOUIS: (joking) “Yeah, don’t forget the awful pitch.”
HARRY: “They know how to welcome someone home.”

LOUIS: “I couldn’t think of a world that wasn’t like the one around me. Sometimes, I couldn’t
think of a life beyond what I was living. Nothing was in the horizon. Nothing but this same,
constant pain. I didn’t know better—or other. I didn’t know anything else.” (the book is now
showing sports team pictures, Louis looks away and puts it aside) “Anyway, that’s not what I was
wanting to ask you before you disappeared to wank in the shower.”
HARRY: “Guilty as charged.”
LOUIS: (solemn) “Should I go?”
HARRY: “To the get-together?”
LOUIS: (breathy, whispery) “Yeah. Should I do this?”
HARRY: “You don’t owe anyone anything.”
LOUIS: “Do I owe myself?”
HARRY: (caught off guard at this) “Uh…?”
LOUIS: “Would it be in my best interest? Do I deserve closure?”
HARRY: (gently, warmly) “It’s your decision, love, and you know I’ll support you whatever you
want to do. I’ll be there and I’ll be proud. But don’t expect things from other people. Don’t make it
out to be this huge thing in your mind because you’re going to go there and get disappointed when
others don’t play the correct parts or say the correct lines.” (firmly) “Yes, you deserve closure but
you’re the only one that can give it to yourself.”
LOUIS: (desperate) “What would you do?”
HARRY: “I don’t know because I don’t know what they mean to you…” (quieter, choked) “What
they did to you.” (Louis tenses) “I don’t feel your feelings so I can’t possibly know where the limit
is and if this is pushing past it.”
6. INT. LOUIS’ BEDROOM — NIGHT
LOUIS: (throwing on a simple t-shirt, sighing as he looks in the mirror, fixing his fringe) “What
do you think?”
HARRY: (laying on the bed, already dressed in a striped button-down and skinny jeans, boots
hanging off the edge of the bed) “It doesn’t matter what I think.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, yeah, Plato, what do you think anyway?”
HARRY: “I meant it doesn’t matter what I think because you’re gonna change anyway. I know
you. If you don’t find something you feel confident in, you won’t step outside. And what that
something is changes every day inexplicably.”
LOUIS: (opens and closes his mouth) “Ok, but can you do the field study this time on whether my
outfit right now makes me look hot instead of my obsessive personality traits?”
HARRY: “You look lovely, sweetheart.”
LOUIS: (smirking at Harry’s reflection on the mirror) “Yeah, maybe look up from your phone
before you lie. It makes it more believable.”
HARRY: (raises his eyes, busted) “I don’t need to. I know. You always look lovely. In fact…”
(jumps up from the bed to wrap his arms around Louis who is still facing the mirror) “I was doing
you a favor by not looking.”
LOUIS: “What kind of favor is that?”
HARRY: (in Louis’ ear) “The kind you feel poking your bum right now.”
LOUIS: (reaching behind him to grab at Harry’s tented pants) “Oh, this kind…” (smiling at
Harry through the mirror) “The real favor would be showing it to me without the layers.”
HARRY: (raising his eyebrows, amused) “I thought you were getting close to being done.”
(wiggling his eyebrows) “Not undone.”
LOUIS: (exaggerated whispers) “Free her!”
HARRY: (laughs, his arms wrap around Louis’ waist and pull Louis back roughly) “How do you
wanna play this?”
LOUIS: “Give me the playbook.” (turns around to kiss Harry) “What are my options?”
HARRY: (smiles, eyes closed from the kiss) “I meant how do you wanna play us. Over there.”
LOUIS: “What are you talking about? Your innuendoes have gone beyond me.”
HARRY: (chuckles, opens his eyes) “Do you want them to know? Because I can back away. I can
be the straight best friend. I’ve been that for a while with you. I know how to play the role.”
LOUIS: (averting the decision with humor) “I don’t know if you do, considering everyone made
jokes about us being married and how whipped we were for each other.”
HARRY: “I’ll try harder.”
LOUIS: (pushing Harry on the bed to sit on him) “I don’t know how you can try harder than this.
This is pretty hard.”
HARRY: (knowing what Louis is doing but letting him) “So am I allowed to do this in public?”
(pulls Louis’ shirt towards him to kiss him, sloppily since they’re both smiling) “Can I show you
off?”
LOUIS: “I’ll be the one doing the showing. Why do you think I brought you here if not to brag?”
HARRY: (fiddling with Louis’ t-shirt) “Don’t know. I kinda liked the last shirt better.”
LOUIS: (dramatically rolling his eyes) “Oh jeez. I guess I’ll have to take it off now.”
HARRY: (biting his lip) “That’s the only solution, I’m afraid.” (pulls the shirt off Louis who helps
by raising his arms) “Much better. Really, this one is the best option, in my opinion.”
LOUIS: “Showing up at a bar half-naked with a boyfriend is a little too punk rock for me.”
HARRY: “Mikey would approve. I approve. Let’s take a vote.” (sitting up with Louis’ on his lap,
kissing Louis’ collarbone) “How else will they see your bad-ass ink?”
LOUIS: “Oh! Actual good idea.” (stands up, Harry whines, Louis rummages through his suitcase
on the floor to pull out a black tank top) “How about this?” (he starts putting it on, Harry whines
louder) “How does this look?”
HARRY: “Too sexy. I’m in pain.”
LOUIS: (grins) “Punk rock?”
HARRY: “Very, the pain is indescribable.”
LOUIS: “Fine, fine.” (climbs back on Harry’s lap) “Better?”
HARRY: “I can think of better ways.” (pokes his fingers through the low sides of Louis’ tank)
“This is far too revealing for my pure princess. Look…” (pulls the tank top to one side until one of
Louis’ nipples shows) “What are we gonna do about this?” (puts the nipple in his mouth quickly,
gives it a kiss) “I can’t have this explicit shit there.”
LOUIS: “Your shirts are transparent. And you have four nipples. That’s 200% more explicit than
an occasional nip-slip. Speaking of which…” (touching his own nipple) “What if I got a nipple
piercing?”
HARRY: (half-whine, half-groan) “What if I came in my pants right here and now?”
Revenge
Chapter 125: Revenge
1. EXT. DONCASTER STREET — NIGHT
LOUIS: (walking to the bar, looking around as streets empty out except for the few nightlife
people) “Here’s where I lost my alcohol virginity. And there…” (pointing at a dark street corner)
“Is where I lost the alcohol.”
HARRY: (beside him) “I’m excited to not have to drive anywhere.” (jokingly) “You might have to
drag me home.”
LOUIS: “Careful, I just might do the creepiest things to drunk you.”
HARRY: “No.”
LOUIS: “I joke, I know. Consent an’ all. I respect it. It has saved my dignity quite a few times.”
HARRY: “As it should.”
LOUIS: “How’s this? Let’s both get tipsy and go home to new adventures.”
HARRY: “New adventures, yes. I like the sound of that.”
LOUIS: (smiles at Harry, looks around at other people for a few seconds before slowly slipping
his hand in Harry’s own, threading their fingers so there’s no doubt what’s happening) “Thank
you for coming with me.”
HARRY: (squeezes Louis’ hand back) “Thank you for letting me see all this.”
LOUIS: (ignoring onlookers who stare openly at their hands) “The dump that is Doncaster?”
HARRY: “The dump that you have in your heart.”
LOUIS: (shocked at first before slowly moving his mouth into a smile) “You could be a little nicer.
I’m buying your drinks tonight.”
HARRY: “I’m sucking your dick so I think we’re even…” (amused at Louis’ instinctual reaction,
pulls Louis closer so he can wrap an arm around his shoulders) “You always blush when I talk
like that. It’s adorable.” (kisses his temple, people have no qualms about making their distaste
known now) “I adore you.”
LOUIS: “I blush because you cursing catches me off guard. I’m sorry I believed your I’m-shy-I-
don’t-swear ruse.”
HARRY: “What can I say, you cracked me open like an oyster.”
LOUIS: (knowing what he’s doing) “Like a fingered asshole.”
HARRY: “That’s….ok. Yeah, let’s…sure. Like that.”

LOUIS: “You’re not the one with all the power so don’t fool yourself.”
HARRY: “We’ll see tonight who comes out on top.” (knows he doesn’t have to explain but does
anyway) “If you get my pun, I meant top like—”
LOUIS: “I got it.” (Harry smirks, Louis returns it) “Can’t wait.”
2. INT. THE BAR — NIGHT
LOUIS: (entering the bar, Louis, despite being the one who ‘knows’ people, cowering behind
Harry, one hand grabbing Harry’s arm) “Wait, wait a minute. Haz!”
HARRY: (stops at the door, turns towards him) “Yeah?”
LOUIS: “Can we…” (gulps, chuckles at his own reaction) “Can we smoke first? Since we’re all
layered up? I’m a bit twitchy.”
HARRY: “Sure.” (understanding) “I was dying for one too.” (leading them back outside) “Don’t
wanna smoke with the babies around.”
LOUIS: “How will we ever have kids?”
3. EXT. OUTSIDE THE BAR — CONTINUOUS
HARRY: (lingering on the street) “We’ll have to quit, both of us. It was nice to date someone who
smokes too but we indulge each other too much. We need to stop.” (Louis makes a horrified noise
as he puts a cigarette in his mouth) “We should have ages ago. It’s a bad habit.”
LOUIS: (lighting his cigarette) “I know, I know. But…” (blowing out smoke, handing Harry the
pack so he pulls one out too) “Stressful times need stressful coping.”
HARRY: (squinting to look inside the bar: bustling, loud, people talking and dancing, shadowed
red-tinted light) “The place is packed.”
LOUIS: (more concerned with the street than the bar, who’s coming in, who’s not?) “Saturday
night, it’s a popular bar.”
HARRY: (dropping ashes on the floor, casual but with intent) “You recognize anyone?”
LOUIS: “I have an 0-2 record right now. I barely remember any faces, let alone these ones.”
HARRY: “So it’ll be like meeting them for the first time. You’re good at that. Always
impressing.”
LOUIS: “Yeah…yeah, exactly.” (building confidence, maybe it’s the nicotine, maybe the
addiction that is Harry Styles, Louis almost feels exhilarated) “Kiss me.”
HARRY: “Right now?”
LOUIS: “Yeah. Kiss me right now. Show me it’s possible.”
HARRY: (takes a few steps towards him, plucks the cigarette out of Louis’ mouth) “Everything is
possible.” (lays a chaste kiss on his lips, smiles widely after, staring at him in awe) “You amaze
me every day. It’s ridiculous how taken with you I am.”
LOUIS: “It’s ridiculous how much I don’t mind you talking like this.”
HARRY: “For a guy who hates happy endings and cliches, you’re awfully sappy.”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “I don’t hate those things when they’re happening to me.”
4. INT. BAR — NIGHT
LOUIS: (combing through the crowd, determined, less wary, turns around to check if Harry’s
following) “I haven’t seen them yet…Maybe they’ve stood us up.”
HARRY: “Let’s hope.” (teasing) “How can you expect to see someone if you don’t know what
they look like.”
LOUIS: (rolls his eyes, looks ahead at a crowded booth at the very end of the bar where a few
people, including Hannah and Calvin sit, loudly arguing with each other) “Yup, right there.”
HARRY: “Lead the way, buddy pal bro dude.”
LOUIS: “Please, don’t.” (close enough to the booth to be noticed, a few of the people have turned
their heads in curiosity) “Hi guys.”
HANNAH: (chaos as everyone speaks at once and the music is loud, Hannah has to scream to be
heard) “I told you, guys! I said he was coming. Ha. I win. You all owe me twenty bucks each and I
am remembering this.” (to Louis) “Hi Louis.”
RANDOM GIRL WHO NOBODY CARES ABOUT (AKA #1): “Louis, you’re so tall now.”
RANDOM BOY WHO HAS BEEN FRIENDZONED BY ALL: “He has a beard—I never
thought he could grow a beard. What the hell?”
CALVIN: (on the wall end of the booth, the least fazed, keeping his cool, assessing the situation)
“Sick ink, dude.”
RANDOM GIRL’S RANDOM FRIEND (aka #2): “Did it hurt?”
RANDOM GIRL #1: (giggling) “When you fell from heaven?”
LOUIS: (a bit overwhelmed at the attention, looks to Harry for support) “This is Harry.”
HARRY: “Hello.” (proceeds to shake everyone’s hand, smiling at them, some of the girls instantly
fawn) “I hope you don’t mind me tagging along.”
RANDOM GIRL #1: “Not at all.” (more alert) “Are you also from New York?”
RANDOM GIRL #2: “He’s English, dumbass. Can’t you hear his accent?”
RANDOM GIRL #1: “Yeah, but I was asking where he lived. Can I live?”
RANDOM BOY: “Can you not? It would be best for everyone.”
HARRY: (everyone moves further in to make room for Harry and Louis to squeeze on one side)
“I’m originally from Cheshire. Used to live in New York for a bit before moving to Florida.”
LOUIS: “We work together.”
RANDOM GIRL #1: “At Disney?”
LOUIS: “Yes.”
RANDOM GIRL #2: (immediately after, a bit like a press conference) “How is that?”
LOUIS: “Great.”
HARRY: “Awesome. Lots of kids. Lots of songs.”
HANNAH: (before the girls can speak again, standing up) “You guys want drinks?”
LOUIS: (thankful for the escape) “Yeah. Good idea. I need a drink.” (Harry moves to reach for
his wallet, Louis stops him) “I’ll get it. I owe you, remember?” (winks at him, Harry grins,
mouthing ‘thanks’, Louis stands up before the moment lasts too long) “Anyone need anything?”
CALVIN: “Treat us, poor peasants, since you’re a billionaire now.”
CALVIN’S GIRLFRIEND, HOOK UP GONE WRONG, POOR GIRL: “We’re supposed to

be treating him, bae, since he’s visiting.” (to Louis, cheerful and yet annoying) “You can have a
shot on me, Louis!”
LOUIS: (half-heartedly, uncomfortable but bearing it) “Thanks…”
HANNAH: “I’ll come with you.” (leads them towards the bar, excited) “Let’s see if Oli will
recognize you.”
HARRY: (follows them with his eyes out of worry before looking back at the table, everyone is
staring at him like they’ve never seen a man be so beautiful and cool and great and god’s gift to
earth, an adonis in the flesh) “So… you guys do this every week?”
RANDOM GIRL #2: “How old are you?”
RANDOM GIRL #1: (talking over each other) “How many tattoos do you have?”
RANDOM GIRL #2: “I have a tattoo on my back.”
RANDOM GIRL #1: “Because she’s a slut.”
RANDOM GIRL #2: “It’s the Chinese character for peace.”
HARRY: “O…kay?”
RANDOM BOY: “The race has begun.” (to Harry, an aside) “They don’t see many new men
around so the thirst is real.”
RANDOM GIRL #1: (throws a crumpled tissue at him) “You’re just jealous no one wants your
ugly, hairy face.”
RANDOM BOY: “I have a girlfriend actually.”
CALVIN: “Whom we’ve never met because she’s an anime pillow.” (the girls laugh, jeer, Harry
manages a polite chuckle) “But since we’re on the topic, Harry has uh… someone too…” (giving
him a look, it’s indecipherable) “Right, Harry?”
HARRY: (um?) “Right.”
RANDOM GIRL #1: (pouting) “Oh, you do?”
RANDOM GIRL #2: “And she says I’m the slut.”
CALVIN’S GIRL: “Doesn’t matter if you really do, just tell them you do so they lay off your
pretty face.”
CALVIN: “Pretty face.”
CALVIN’S GIRL: (motioning at Harry) “Is he not?”
HARRY: (chuckling nervously) “Ah, yeah… I actually do. And even if I didn’t…” (decision-
making time) “I don’t really like girls.” (sheepish) “Sorry.”
RANDOM GIRL #2: (suddenly looking at where Louis is talking to Oli by the bar, dawn of
realization) “Ahhhhhhhh!”
RANDOM GIRL #1: (oblivious) “What?”
RANDOM BOY: “Yeah, what?” (turns to see Louis) “Oh…” (silence, consequences, Harry’s
starting to regret this) “So he really was like that, huh?” (Harry bristles at the comment but doesn’t
say anything, Calvin chugs his beer, the girls laugh, it’s awkward as fuck) “We thought he’d get
over it.”
5. INT. NEXT TO THE BAR — MEANWHILE
HANNAH: (leaning on the bar with her stomach, feet in the air) “Oli!” (once she has the
bartender’s attention) “Do you know who this is?”
OLI: (on the other side of the bar, grinning) “Motherfucker, if it isn’t wonder-boy himself.”
LOUIS: “It’s me.” (sarcastically, but underneath it all, there’s an inevitable sense of being
flattered, sue him, he always wanted to be accepted, is it too late?) “Apparently the talk of the
town.”
HANNAH: “He’s changed, right?”
OLI: “I’ve stalked him on Facebook so I’m not as shocked as everyone else. What’d you expect,
he’d stay the same?” (to Louis) “What’s up, man? Calvin said he saw you. People are losing their
shit over you coming back. It’s almost like you’re a celebrity now.”
LOUIS: “I can’t understand why. I work a minimum wage job like the rest of humanity.”
OLI: (shrugs) “You missed the reunion.” (Louis frowns, he didn’t know) “People wondered if
you’d ever return. I don’t blame you, I mean, your life—I follow you on Instagram too, and it looks
great. Good on you. You made it, man.” (almost resigned) “Compared to this…” (small chuckle)
“We envy you a bit, I think.”
HANNAH: (dreamy) “Yes, America. I only wish I could visit sometime. If I save enough money.”
LOUIS: “Don’t envy it. The grass is always greener.”
OLI: (appreciates the effort even if it is futile, their lives suck, Louis did the most with his) “It
looks pretty green though. Disney must pay a lot to upkeep the lawn.”
LOUIS: “All their revenue from ticket sales goes to it.” (clearing his throat) “You and Calvin still
friends then?”
OLI: “Best friends. All of us who stayed behind really.” (sort of strangely tacked on at the end but
genuine?) “We miss you.”
LOUIS: (can’t handle this much craziness, deny, deny, deny) “I highly doubt that.”
HANNAH: “It’s true!”
OLI: “We do. We talk about you at times.” (snapping out of his Louis induced trance) “Anyway,
work. We’ll talk more later. What are you having?”
LOUIS: “Two beers, please, whatever’s on the tap, whatever you reccomend. And…” (turning to
Hannah) “You want anything? It’s on us.”
HANNAH: “No!”
LOUIS: “You invited us.”
HANNAH: “Ok, I’ll have a beer too then. If you insist.” (gives him a smothering sisterly hug
which Louis is not completely against??) “I was so lucky to run into you. Otherwise we wouldn’t
have known to tell you.”
OLI: (needs classes in how to be casual) “You’re here with someone?”
LOUIS: “Yeah. My boy.” (bros call bros that too but not with that fondness) “He’s probably
getting grilled back there.”
OLI: “Oh.” (wow, this is brand new information; Calvin definitely didn’t tell me all this) “Is he
liking Donnie? A bit of an odd way to introduce England to Americans.”
LOUIS: “He’s English.”
OLI: “Ha, what y’all meet on Tinder or something?” (Oli WYD?) “I’ll get the beer. Sorry, I can’t
talk much…” (oh, you’ve talked more than enough) “Busy night but maybe if you guys stick
around until my shift ends… we can do something. I have good pot.” (what a champ) “You could
come over my place. We’ll chill. Talk about stuff.”
LOUIS: “We might not survive that late. We’ve gotten old now but who knows?” (I know, and it’s
a no from me) “Some other time.”
HANNAH: (once Oli has left) “Sorry, he’s so embarrassing. They’re not used to it.”
LOUIS: “What?” (a bit too aggressive) “People being gay? Fags?”
HANNAH: (cringes at the word) “No. We know about them. No one cares.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, yeah.”

HANNAH: “They just don’t know how to approach you with it, considering…”
LOUIS: “Considering they all bullied me for being gay in high school.” (Hannah is speechless,
too heavy for a night out, Louis isn’t going easy on the sarcasm, now that the dam is crumbling,
truth is spilling out at an alarming rate) “It’s usually much easier to meet people who have grown
out of the thing they were bullied for. Then you can all laugh and talk about how long ago that
was. But hey, here I am, gay, who would have thought, right?”
HANNAH: (taken back) “Louis, I didn’t mean it like that. It doesn’t matter.”
LOUIS: “Now it doesn’t.” (Oli comes back with the beers and places them on the table, Louis
hands him the card) “I’ll get all three.”
OLI: “It’s on the house, man. When do we ever have guests from America?”
HANNAH: (holding her beer as they walk back to the others) “They’re making an effort.”
LOUIS: (carrying his and Harry’s beer, one in each hand, dryly) “Catch me applauding tonight at
10.”
HANNAH: “People change.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, okay.”
HANNAH: “Why did you come then? If you knew this is how you felt about them?”
LOUIS: “I came to prove to myself that it doesn’t bother me anymore.”
CALVIN: (relieved they’re back) “Yo, he didn’t give you anything for the rest of us? What a
cheap fuck.”
LOUIS: (places the beer in front of Harry, renewed fire and purpose) “Here you go, love.” (sits
beside him, whispers) “Were they ok?”
RANDOM BOY: (before Harry can answer) “Louis, you didn’t tell us Harry was your gay
boyfriend?”
HARRY: (fearful of Louis’ response, tries to make it funny but it’s not really) “As opposed to
straight boyfriend?”
RANDOM GIRL #2: (fake laughing to diffuse the tension) “I kissed a girl once.”
RANDOM GIRL #1: “Slut!”
LOUIS: (challenge accepted) “Why? You have a problem, mate?”
RANDOM BOY: “I uh…?”
HANNAH: (immediately) “No, no. Why would we care what you do with your life?”
RANDOM GIRL #1: (classic badly-timed joke) “My problem is that your boyfriend should be my
boyfriend.”
HANNAH: (kicking her under the table, poor Hannah is alone in salvaging this, feels responsible
for the imminent explosion to come) “We’re happy for you two. You’re such a power couple.”
LOUIS: (ignoring her, still eying the boy, casually) “Is this really all that shocking?” (the mood
has shifted now, the fun and games are over) “Wasn’t I always a fag in your eyes?” (the boy gapes,
stuttering, Louis looks at the rest of the people, the girls are observing the intricacies of the table
but Calvin stares back unnerved, he’s not one to back down, no matter how alpha Louis has gotten
over the years) “Wasn’t that my rep in school?”
HARRY: (touching his thigh under the table) “Lou, are you sure?”
LOUIS: “I’m just airing it out for them, babe. We can all address the elephant in the room, right?”
(initially not mad at Calvin in specific but now he’s become the symbol and he’s not doing
anything to prevent that) “I know Calvin was thinking about it and Calvin never thinks about
anything this hard. I wanna save him the effort.”
CALVIN: “I didn’t say anything. What’s your issue?”
HANNAH: “Guys, we’re here to have fun, remember?”
RANDOM GIRL #2: (blurts nervously) “We should all do shots.” (stands up so quickly, the entire
tables shakes and the beer almost spills) “Sorry! I’ll go get us some shots. Shots make everyone
happy!”
CALVIN: “We were having fun until he brought his baggage here.”
LOUIS: “By baggage you mean myself, who am I as a person. Or no, no, I got it, I brought my
boyfriend, you mean?”
CALVIN: “Don’t put words in my mouth. No one said anything about your boyfriend. We don’t
care.” (he cares but he also hasn’t made that all too obvious) “You came here wanting to rehash
shit. I’m not interested.”
LOUIS: (years of pent-up frustration and snapping at the wrong people have boiled down to this)
“Aren’t reunions about rehashing, reminiscing, talking about all the fun times we spent together…
me mostly being beaten up for everything that I did, but fun nonetheless.”
CALVIN’S GIRL: (new to this dynamic and has been trying to see the line between banter and
beef all this time) “What is he talking about? I thought you were good friends?”
LOUIS: “Oh wait, I wasn’t invited to the reunion. Must have mixed up my events. Busy agenda
and all.”
CALVIN: “We knew you wouldn’t come.”
LOUIS: “Why’s that?”
CALVIN: (shrugs) “Because you wouldn’t.”
HARRY: (calmly) “Lou—”
LOUIS: (also calm but cutting him off) “One second, let me talk.”
CALVIN: (unable to resist the opening) “So I guess you don’t discriminate with who you’re an
ass with. If you’re insulting your own boyfriend, maybe this is your foreplay, gets you going…”
(this is the wrong thing to say as we’ll see later, he attempts to correct it but fails) “Maybe this is
what you think of as fun.”
LOUIS: “I’m not insulting him. I love him very much but I also need to address this on my own
since it’s very specifically my problem.”
CALVIN: “Exactly. You not wanting to come to the reunion is very specifically your problem.”
LOUIS: “You’re right, I wouldn’t have come but why not?”
CALVIN: (frazzled with how Louis is coming for his edges) “How the hell should I know?”
LOUIS: “I think you know, Calvin.”
CALVIN: (lips pursed but not smiling) “You wouldn’t have come because you don’t like us. It
doesn’t take a mind reader to figure out you’re above us now. Hell, you’re above your own
mother.”
HANNAH: (appalled) “Calvin!”
HARRY: (gritting his teeth) “I’d watch your mouth if I were you.”
CALVIN: “You’re tagging in? Shut up and stay put like the loyal bitch that you are.”
HARRY: “I will. Because I’m certain he doesn’t need any help ending you.”
RANDOM BOY: (jeering, might have started this but is now eating metaphorical popcorn)
“Oooooh.”
HANNAH: (worried) “Guys, stop it… This isn’t funny.”
LOUIS: (the calm before the storm) “I like Hannah just fine. These girls seem lovely. The
blockhead over there, I’m ambivalent about.”
CALVIN: “You don’t like your old classmates. Thanks for being subtle.”
LOUIS: “Why? That is the main existential question here?” (to Calvin’s girlfriend) “Do you
know?”
CALVIN’S GIRL: “Know what?”
LOUIS: “The story.” (vicious) “It’s a good story.”
CALVIN: (defensive) “Fuck off, man. I didn’t invite you here to put on a show.”
LOUIS: “Why did you?”
CALVIN: “Because I wanted to catch up, like a normal fucking person. I thought more would
have happened with your life. More interesting things than a few high school fights.”
RANDOM BOY: “You guys fought? Should we be placing bets?”
LOUIS: “Personally, I love putting on a show. It’s what I do for a living actually, since you were
asking before, about my job and everything. I’m character, let’s say for the sake of the argument,
the little, gay, bullied boy in a high school full of cruel motherfuckers.” (the people not involved
are silent but definitely intrigued by the turn of events) “Then of course, I have to have a
counterpart because you can’t be talking to yourself. Now normally I play villains, right, babe?”
HARRY: (can’t say he’s not impressed with Louis) “Villains with a heart of gold.”
LOUIS: “Right, but we’re seeing a turn of events here because of Calvin who’ll play the bully
with the heavy conscience.”
CALVIN: “I don’t have a heavy conscience because I don’t live in the past.”
LOUIS: “You don’t live in the past because you have that option. What were your high school
years if not way too cliche?”
CALVIN: “We were kids. It’s telling that you haven’t grown past that. You might have changed
on the outside but inside you’re still the insecure prick we—”
LOUIS: “You what?”
CALVIN: (stops, mentally calculating if there’s still a way out of this, can’t blame a man for
hoping) “We were friends with you.”
LOUIS: “Until?”
CALVIN: (spat) “Grow up, Louis.”
LOUIS: “I have because the old me would never be saying this to you. All I knew back then was
backing down and letting you walk all over me. Not to mention…well.”
CALVIN: (interjecting) “Who wasn’t bullied in their life at some point? Everyone at this table has
been bullied and they’re taking it much better than your bitter ass.”
LOUIS: “Almost a rite of passage. How can we make it in this world without first having our self-
esteem pulverized by other, more insecure people who have strange ways to kick you off of
teams?”
CALVIN: (as if all of sudden remember what this was REALLY about) “Why are you doing this?”
LOUIS: “Because as much as time has passed, a part of me has always dreamed of coming back
here and standing up to you.” (people have stopped breathing audibly, Harry doesn’t know what to
do, intervene or not, Louis drinks some of his beer, shaking his head) “I used to be so obsessed with
you, all of you guys. I used to think if you guys liked me, the world would too. All my problems
would be solved. And man, it’s been great realizing that I actually don’t give a flying fuck about
what comes out of your mouth now and the world likes me anyway.”
CALVIN: (dry) “Congratulations. You had your movie moment. You stood up to the bullies.
Wow, what an amazing turn of events. I didn’t see it coming. Justice has been served. All wrongs
have been righted. You win. The bullies lose. Are you happy now?” ( dismissive) “It’s been ten
years since that Louis. You have a great life and you’re busy being a dick without a cause.”
HARRY: (touching Louis’ forearm, firm) “Let’s go. It’s not gonna end. He won’t ever say what
you need him to.”
CALVIN: “Oh, I will. Just give me the script. I didn’t know I was recruited for Saturday night
improv. Tell me what you need from me and I’ll say it to you.” (mocking but no one is having it,
not even his own girlfriend) “And here I suffered through a debate when the answer was in front of
me.” (Louis is still silent, not taking the bait) “Do you need my approval, Louis? Is that it?”
RANDOM GIRL #2: (returning holding six shots between her fingers, nice) “I got them! Hope I
didn’t miss the party.”
LOUIS: (standing up, putting on his jacket, restrained rage) “If I needed your approval, I’d have
slit my wrists a decade ago.”
RANDOM BOY: (making a face) “Heavy, man.”
CALVIN: (unaffected) “Come on. Tell me the line. You can’t leave me with this cliffhanger. Who
knows when Louis Tomlinson will grace us with his presence again. How long should we wait for
the sequel to this unnecessary feud.”
HANNAH: “Calvin, leave it alone. They’re leaving.”
LOUIS: (as he’s about to walk away, neutral) “The line was sorry. Apologizing. Not for name-
calling because calling a spade, a spade, right? Not for the beatings because, fuck it, those scars
heal and if you laid a hand on me now, I’d fuck you up so bad your own mother wouldn’t
recognize you.” (the tension in the group is palpable) “We both know what doesn’t heal so we both
know what this is about.”
CALVIN: (has lost all traces of taking this lightly, seems frightened all of a sudden but hides it
behind anger) “I’ve done nothing to you.”
LOUIS: “Sure.” (walking away) “Thanks for the beer, guys. Tell Oli I won’t be making it to his
tonight.”
CALVIN: (screaming after him) “You’ve become a proper cunt, mate.”
LOUIS: (gives him the middle finger without looking back, talks to Harry) “I’m sorry.”
HARRY: (wraps an arm around Louis’ waist on the way out) “I love you.”
LOUIS: (emotionally drained, confused, is this winning? gives Harry a half-hearted smile) “I love
you too.” (almost at the door) “I’m sorry about that. I’m sorry I brought you here.”
HARRY: (grabbing Louis’ hand, stopping him) “Don’t be. You tried and they didn’t want to
listen. This isn’t on you. I’m glad you got to see this again with new eyes so you know exactly who
was in the wrong. I hope it helped.”
LOUIS: (processing what just happened) “I don’t know if it was worth it.”
HARRY: (outside first, breathes in the fresh air, sighs) “Victory smoke? I think we definitely
deserve it.” (when he gets no response he turns around, Louis is looking beyond him at the street)
“No? We can go somewhere else if you don’t wanna go home yet. Get a beer that we can finish in
peace.”
LOUIS: (shakes his head, still dazed, talking to himself) “I should have known he’d be here.” (self-
deprecating) “Cut off one Hydra head…”
HARRY: “Who? Calvin?” (turns around to see what Louis is looking at, two painfully average
guys cross the street, jaywalking while a car beeps at them, they approach the bar, talking to each
other, laughing) “You know them?”
LOUIS: (nods) “I guess better here than inside.” (light, nervous laughter, Louis’ facade is much
different with this guy than Calvin and it’s not just because the adrenaline of the fight is fading
away) “I don’t if I can handle them in large doses.”
STAN: (almost at the door, it looks like he might miss Louis but notices last second in a double-
take, a grin spreads on his face) “Yo!” (the other dude stops, holding the door open, music comes
from the inside) “Fucking hell. It’s Louis.”
LOUIS: (stunned) “Stan.”
STAN: “Yeah!” (bear hugs him with no indication that he can or should, Louis has turned into a
statue in Stan’s awkward arms, Harry tightens his fists instinctually, knuckles cracking) “You
remembered me. Gained some weight but still same old, same old.” (Louis doesn’t respond, he’s
wavering between reality and mental chaos) “What the hell are you doing here? I didn’t know
you’d come. Cal, didn’t say. I thought you were a ghost for a second.” (Louis has yet to get a clue,
whereas his response to Calvin was fight, this seems more like a flight) “Wouldn’t it be awkward if
you were someone else?” (Stan chuckles) “You’re about to go in?”
HARRY: (threatening) “We’re about to leave.”
STAN: “No, what? You should come. We just got here.” (grabs Louis’ forearm, touchy for a
stranger, Louis flinches but doesn’t pull away) “Let’s get a drink for old times sake.”
HARRY: (detaching Stan’s hand from Louis’ arm, warning) “Don’t touch him.”
STAN: “Oh, sorry.” (extending his hand) “I’m Stan. Are you… I don’t think I remember you.”
HARRY: (gauging Stan’s reaction as he responds, testing him) “I’m his boyfriend.” (Louis has
whiplash and it’s obvious with the way he looks at Harry, confused) “Is there a problem?”
STAN: (a bit lost but gathering himself well) “Oh, no. Not at all.” (smiley again) “Yo, I got to tell
you this funny story. Once me and Louis macked.” (Louis head snaps back at Stan now, Harry
can’t believe this is happening and neither can I, the author) “But it wasn’t like that. It was like
chill, bro stuff. Accidental. But anyway, you two should come in. Beers on me.”
STAN’S FRIEND: (still at the door, being glared at by people inside for creating a draft) “Stan,
are we going or?”
STAN: “I’ll be right there.” (Louis and Harry haven’t replied yet, it’s the twilight zone) “I’m
gonna go say hi to the rest of them but yo…” (taps Louis’ chest all friendly-like) “Find me, bro.”
(walking inside, to his dude friend) “You won’t believe, I thought that dude had died…”
LOUIS: (door closes again, Louis jolts awake as if he had been hypnotized before and the magic
word has finally been said, his hand digs in his hair, he’s shell-shocked, overcome with which
emotion to feel first, disbelief offers itself readily) “He…?”
HARRY: (also has a choice of emotions: surprise, anger, jealousy, irritation, possessiveness, fear,
but he chooses overwhelmed and trembling rage) “Who was he? What—did he?” (pacing to calm
himself down) “What just happened?”
LOUIS: (frighteningly blank, has pushed all his feelings into a tight, Pandora box) “I wanna go.”
HARRY: “Did he…is he the reason…You kissed? Is the friend? The one?”
LOUIS: (resolute) “I wanna go. I wanna leave.”
HARRY: (abruptly) “No.”
LOUIS: “No?”
HARRY: “No.” (possessed by a new train of thought) “No, we have to go back and…” (frantic,
part hyperventilation, part ramble in his rage) “And we have to set this straight.”
LOUIS: “What?”
HARRY: (choppy, racing thoughts) “We have to let him—I have to make sure…”
LOUIS: “We have to go.”
HARRY: “No, listen—listen.”
LOUIS: “You listen! We have to go because I’m not staying here another second. I don’t wanna be
in this fucking city another second. We have to go. Now.”
HARRY: (desperate to make sense of it all and also make sense to Louis when he speaks) “But he
hurt you and…” (so furious he’s almost in tears) “He hurt you and this is it all because of him.
You said that he did this. He was the reason and I know he hurt you—he hurt you so bad. This is
the one chance because—because after this I won’t see him and I can’t do anything about it after
this. We have to go back there. It’s now or never. I can’t drop this now that I have the chance—I
wanna hurt him. If he hurt you, I wanna hurt him back.”
LOUIS: “This isn’t about you. This isn’t your war.”
HARRY: “Anything that involves you is my war. And if I have to go back to the States and hear
that he did anything to you and back there I won’t have a choice but to not do anything back and I
can’t live with that. We’re here now. The moment is now.”
LOUIS: “What moment? Do you hear yourself? You’ll go in and what, start a fucking bar fight?
Get knifed? Worst, killed? That will achieve what? Are you a complete idiot?”
HARRY: (winces at that) “Then what? What do you want to do? Why are we here? Why did you
want this if not for revenge?”
LOUIS: (stuck, gotten) “I don’t know.”
HARRY: (hands shaking) “Why did you bring me here if I can’t protect you?”
LOUIS: “I didn’t bring you here to fight my battles for me.” (Harry nods but follows it by staring
at the club, biting his lip) “It won’t solve anything. Didn’t you just say that?”
HARRY: (thinks on it, tries to calm himself down, struggling visibly to stay put, to not shake as
bad, to not crave this as much) “Ok.”
LOUIS: “We’re leaving.”

HARRY: (breathy) “Ok.”
LOUIS: “We’re going back home. Tonight.”
HARRY: (frowning) “But—”
LOUIS: (he’s stayed for too long and the extra time bought by the wall he put up is running out,
he needs to start moving if he wants to beat the clock) “You said you would do what I needed. I
need this.”
6. INT. DOORWAY — NIGHT
JOHANNAH: (sitting on the couch, watching TV) “How was it?”
LOUIS: (heads immediately for the stairs, two at a time, as soon as he crossed the threshold of the
house, the tears formed) “We’re leaving.”
JOHANNAH: “What?” (looks to Harry) “What happened?”
HARRY: (shakes his head) “I’m…still trying to figure it out.” (follows Louis) “Don’t worry.”
HARRY: (finds Louis trashing the room, ripping posters off to shreds, crumpling, pulling, tearing,
starts throwing things, objects of all sorts, old toys, boxes, decorations, presents against the wall,
it’s loud and chaotic) “Lou! Stop.” (chasing after him without touching, trying to reason with him)
“Wait, one second, we can talk—let’s talk. One second.” (grabs his hands, Louis pulls them back,
not even looking at him) “Please, there’s—there’s a way. I know. We can—” ( the bookshelf
collapses) “Lou!”
LOUIS: (cleans the desk of everything on top, shattering sounds as it piles on the already full
floor) “Fuck this entire fucking place.” (crying is heard from next door, the babies are awake,
scared) “Shut up!”
HARRY: (putting his arms around Louis) “Wait, baby.”
LOUIS: (pushes him off and he’s not playing, Harry is hurting from the contact) “Wait for what?
What are we waiting for, huh? I was waiting my entire life for this. And look where it got me? Are
we waiting for me to lose my fucking mind finally? Is this a joke?” (to himself, pulling at his own
hair, kicking with all his power at a fallen soccer ball, it smashes against the wall and hits the
dresser on the bounce back, Harry shields his head) “My entire life is a joke.” (kicks the suitcase
until it skids across the floor, half under the bed) “A goddamn, funny joke. That’s all I’m good
for.”
HARRY: (scared out of his mind for Louis more than himself) “Ok, we go. Lou, we’ll go.”
(picking clothes up from the floor like a mad man and throwing them in the open suitcase) “Look,
let’s pack and we’ll go. Help me back, babe. Help me and I’ll get you out of here.” (Louis
overturns the entire table, Harry flinches at the sound) “Lou, please.”
LOTTIE: (entering the room, in pajamas) “What’s happening?”
HARRY: “We’re packing.”

LOTTIE: (looking at the state of the room) “What the hell are you doing?”
LOUIS: (furious that she’s seeing him, the big brother, the guardian of the house, the one who
should be setting the standard, helping them, protecting them, showing them how to live life, in a
state of complete despair) “Leave, Lottie!”
LOTTIE: “Are you serious?” (Louis grabs at the trophies next, they fly against the wall, breaking
into pieces, Lottie rushes in trying to save them) “Why are you doing that? Stop!” (tries to yank the
one in Louis’ fingers, Louis won’t let go) “These are memories!”
LOUIS: (pulls it out of her hands, slams it on the floor, steps on it, it’s in a million plastic pieces)
“I don’t want the freaking memories. I don’t want anything to do with this place.”
LOTTIE: (angry, pushes him, Louis isn’t expecting it and falls against the table) “Have you gone
insane?”
JOHANNAH: (from the doorway, crying) “Louis, what’s wrong?”
HARRY: (has managed to shove everything inside the bag, trying to zip it up as quickly as
possible) “Look, babe, look, we’re done. We’re gone. As soon as you put a jacket on, we’re out of
here. I promised you I’d take care of you and I will, love.” (trying to comfort him) “Like you said,
love. We’re going home.”
LOTTIE: “You’re leaving?!”
LOUIS: (suddenly in between hyperventilating and crying, a heartbreaking mess to watch) “Get
out of my room, all of you!”
HARRY: “Louis.” (runs up to hug Louis to himself as much as Louis is still thrashing, fighting
him, knowing the minute he gives into the comfort, it’s all out in the open, the pain, the
disappointment) “It’s okay, baby. It’s ok.” (kissing him everywhere he can reach) “You’re fine.
You’re okay.”
LOTTIE: (sounds young in her fear) “Mom?”
LOUIS: (frustrated) “I knew this would happen.”
LOTTIE: “Mom, what is going on?”
JOHANNAH: “Get the babies, Lottie.”
LOTTIE: “He’s become a crazy person.”
JOHANNAH: “Go.” (more gently) “Go get the twins before your sisters wake up.”
HARRY: (Lottie leaves, Harry looks at Johannah) “Please.” (she nods and leaves, closing the
door behind her) “Everyone’s gone. It’s just you and me now. Like always.” (trying to get Louis to
look at him, Louis moves his head away, knowing his eyes are filled with tears) “It will always be
you and me in this world. We will always be together. No matter what. We can get through this.”
LOUIS: (wriggles out of Harry’s grasp with difficulty, crashing both emotionally and physically
after the rampage) “Let. Me… Harry, please.” (Harry lets go, Louis stumbles over the broken
things all over the floor and the suitcase, almost falling three times, he finally, hands and knees
gets to the wall, balances himself on it and hits the light switch, turns it off before collapsing on his
knees and sobbing loudly, head in his hands, Harry’s by his side immediately, hugging him to his
body) “Help me.”
HARRY: “I’m right there, baby.”
LOUIS: “Help.”
HARRY: “I have you.”
LOUIS: “I can’t do this.”
HARRY: (rocking him) “Yes, you can.” (squeezing the breath and sadness out of him) “You
absolutely can.”
Escape
Chapter 126: Escape
1. INT. LOUIS’ BEDROOM — NOON
HARRY: (awake, laying on his back, Louis curled next to him, on his chest) “Lou…?” (Louis
doesn’t stir, Harry kisses his forehead, eliciting a hum from Louis) “I’m gonna go make us
breakfast, love. Will you wait for me here?” (Louis doesn’t a respond at first but eventually rolls
away so that he’s not on Harry and Harry can move freely, Harry sighs) “Ok. Stay here, babe. I’ll
be right back.”
2. INT. LOUIS’ BEDROOM — ALMOST 1PM
HARRY: (enters the room with a tray of food: eggs, toast, orange juice) “I’m back. Rise and
shine, beautiful.” (lays the tray on the bedside table, sits on the bed again, gently touches Louis’
shoulder, kneading the tension away, can sense Louis is awake but doesn’t push it) “Want some
food? I know your stomach is growling.” (Louis doesn’t respond, Harry doesn’t lose the
cheeriness in his voice) “I made the eggs just the way you like them.”
LOUIS: (raspy from all the screaming) “Not hungry.”
HARRY: (looks about to protest but thinks otherwise) “Are you sure, Lou?” (Louis nods, face in
the pillow, shoulders hunched so he’s as small and protected as possible) “Ok… Ok. I’m gonna
leave it here for you then. You can take your time.”
3. INT. LOUIS’ BEDROOM — 3PM
HARRY: (laying on the bed beside Louis, reading a book, stops to look at Louis’ frame) “Are you
a little hungry now maybe?” (the food is untouched, Louis doesn’t respond though he’s fully
awake, staring at the wall in front of him, back towards Harry) “Maybe juice? Or wait, I know you
love ice-cream. I can get you some ice cream and we can both take a day off and binge. What are
Sundays for anyway? We could watch a movie. I always have Shrek on my laptop…”
LOUIS: (sad) “You don’t have to stay here, Haz. I’m down today but you don’t have to be here,
suffering with me.”
HARRY: (carefully) “Do you want me to be here?” (Louis shrugs) “Because if you need space,
Louis, I’ll find somewhere to go. I’ll sit downstairs. You can wake up and take a few hours to
yourself.”
LOUIS: “I don’t want you to feel like you’re unwanted—”
HARRY: “Stop.” (sets the book aside, spoons Louis) “I don’t want you to think about me. I only
want you to do what’s best for you. I’m happy to just be here with you. Today is your day and I’m
here to help and if helping means leaving you alone to breathe for a few then that’s what I’ll do.”
LOUIS: (snuffly) “I don’t want you to see me like this.”
HARRY: (pushing his hair back, combing through it) “What? Super beautiful and perfect as
always?”
LOUIS: (meek smile, makes an effort) “I’ll be up in an hour.”
HARRY: “Ok, baby.” (kisses Louis’ cheek, gets up from the bed, picks up his book and the tray of
breakfast) “I’ll make you some lunch in the meantime.” (at the door) “Call if you need me. I’ll run
up the stairs.”
4. INT. KITCHEN — DAY
HARRY: (enters the kitchen, Johannah sits at the table, a mug of tea in her hands) “Good
afternoon. How are you feeling?”
JOHANNAH: “I’m good, thank you. How are you?
HARRY: “I’m ok.” (sits at the table next to her, starts munching on the cold, leftover breakfast)
“Hungry? Can I make you something? I’m quite the cook. I used to work at a some point.”
JOHANNAH: (grateful) “I should be making you something. You must be exhausted.”
HARRY: (shrugs) “I’m alright. I slept till noon. Can’t complain.”
JOHANNAH: (knows what she wants to talk about but doesn’t know how to bring it up) “Did you
go to bed late?”
HARRY: “Yeah. He was up for a while.” (hesitates, wants to spare her) “Crying.” (immediately at
her reaction) “He was frantic but I calmed him down and he slept through the night. He’s okay, I
promise.” (trying to convince both Johannah and himself) “It might not look like it but he’s fine.
He’s so, so strong. He’ll get through anything.”
JOHANNAH: “Is he still asleep?”
HARRY: “He’s…in bed. He’s getting ready. He said he needed a little time. I don’t wanna
smother him. It must be tough to wake up and have to deal with everything that happened.”
JOHANNAH: “You’re good for him.”
HARRY: “He’s good for me too. We’re good for each other.”
JOHANNAH: “I spoke too soon when I said you guys were moving too fast. You seem to have
something special going on and I can’t fault you for wanting to see it further.”
HARRY: (sad smile) “At least something good came out of this.”
JOHANNAH: “Are you two leaving?”
HARRY: “Not today. At least I don’t think.”
JOHANNAH: “Tomorrow?”
HARRY: “I don’t know. There’s a chance. Our tickets are for Tuesday but I don’t know how he’s
going to feel tomorrow.”
JOHANNAH: “He seemed like he needed to leave.”
HARRY: “He was…He was overwhelmed. He—I should have known, it was my bad. I forced
him to—”
JOHANNAH: (touching his hand) “You didn’t. He wanted to go. You couldn’t have changed his
mind even if you wanted to. When he sets his mind to something, he’s relentless. And he wanted to
do this. You were there for him and that’s the important part.”
HARRY: (finally showing some vulnerability, has been strong all this time) “I don’t know what
happened. I got protective, couldn’t help myself.”
JOHANNAH: (scared to ask) “Did they try to hurt him?”
HARRY: “No. I don’t know. I…” (beating himself up over it) “I know they, he, I know he did
something because I saw Lou’s reaction and I can’t handle that. I can’t handle knowing someone is
hurting him.” (clutching his pants under the table in anxiety) “I can’t handle the thought of it, let
alone stand there and watch him break in front of me. It hurts to see.” (poking at his eyes, the tips
of his fingers making sure there’s no tears) “I feel like crying right now even as I talk about it. And
I don’t wanna snap. That’s not who I am but back there, I was so angry and I didn’t even know
why. I just…I don’t know. I don’t know what’s gonna happen. I don’t know what happened.”
JOHANNAH: (giving him a few minutes to compose himself again) “I understand if he needs to
leave earlier.”
HARRY: “We might not. We packed our things last tonight but I’m hoping he’ll wake up better.
We can stay these last few days and make things right. I don’t want him to leave with this as his
last thought.”
JOHANNAH: (it’s silent for a while and just as Harry is about to leave, Johannah speaks, voice
filled with regret) “I was never a good mother to Louis.”
HARRY: “Don’t say that. He doesn’t believe that.”
JOHANNAH: “He should. Because I wasn’t. I knew he was struggling in high school. He was
never good at hiding his emotions so I knew, I recognized the signs but I thought, he’s a boy. He’ll
figure it out. He’ll toughen up because of it. He always seemed so weak in my eyes…his father’s
eyes. So we all wanted him to grow up strong. Handling his own problems was step one.” (shakes
her head, Harry doesn’t know what to say) “I was always more worried about the girls. They were
younger and I never thought.” (sniffling) “I never cared enough to ask…”
HARRY: “You didn’t know because he didn’t want you to. If you had known, you’d have
helped.” (afterthought) “And if it’s any conslation, he grew up to be strong and tough like you
wanted him to.”
JOHANNAH: (must have sensed the disapproval in Harry’s tone) “You must think I’m a
monster.” (Harry’s about to interrupt) “But I never knew the extent of it. I didn’t know how bad it
was, other wise I’d have never…abandoned him like that.”
HARRY: “The extent of what? How bad what was?” (desperate to reassure her, whispering as if
saying it out loud is a bad omen) “Hurting himself? He doesn’t do that anymore. He’s healthy now.
He understands. He talks to someone, someone that helps him.” (expecting her to be relieved but
she’s not) “You shouldn’t blame yourself. Please. This isn’t anyone’s fault. It happened. It’s no use
being guilty. It happened and we need to comfort him now, be there for him and help him through
it. Now’s the important part. You can’t change the past.”
JOHANNAH: (shaking her head slightly, wipes her eyes before grabbing a thick, leathered
journal sitting on the table and placing it in front of Harry) “He wrote it when he was still living
here. I found it in his room.”
HARRY: (observing the object carefully, a frown in his face ) “His diary?” (Johannah nods, Harry
shakes his head immediately) “No. It’s private. This is private.”
JOHANNAH: “I know.” (insistent) “But take it.”
HARRY: “I can’t.”
JOHANNAH: “Take it.” (seeing Harry still shaking his head) “Take it just in case.”
HARRY: “In case what? There is no need for this. This shows mistrust. This isn’t what our
relationship is about.”
JOHANNAH: “Take it in case it ever gets to a point where frustration blinds you from what you
really have…the kindest boy ready to die for you.”
5. INT. LOUIS’ BEDROOM — FOUR PM
HARRY: (entering the bedroom with the dairy, places is on the bedside table, looks sadly at
Louis who is still in bed, not having inched from where Harry left him) “Hi boo.” (looks around the
room, takes note of everything on the floor, starts collecting the stuff that hasn’t been broken in
one corner of the room and the trash in another) “Just know that I’m here for you, Louis.”
6. INT. HALLWAY — LATER
HARRY: (walking down the stairs, carrying a full trash back of stuff in his arms, runs into to
Lottie) “Hi there.”
LOTTIE: “What’s that?”
HARRY: “Some of the stuff. From yesterday. Do you normally put the trash outside? Is there
recycling?”
LOTTIE: “The stuff from Lou’s room?” (Harry nods) “You’re throwing it out?”
HARRY: “Only what’s broken. I put the rest of it in a box. You guys can keep it somewhere.”
LOTTIE: “We can keep this as well. We’ll keep all of it.”
HARRY: (understanding, gentle) “It’s in pieces, Lottie. I don’t think it’s worth saving.”
LOTTIE: “It’s still important. It’s all we have of him so we need to keep it. We can put it back
together. I’ll help fix the room.” (to herself) “I can’t believe he’d come here and do that.”
HARRY: “He was really sad last night.”
LOTTIE: “I’m really sad some days too but I don’t destroy things. That was insane. You could
have gotten hurt.”
HARRY: “Really, really sad. He was having perhaps the worst day in a long time and he didn’t
know what to do so he reacted badly. He wouldn’t have hurt anyone but himself. He’s not like that
ever. I’m sorry you had to see it. Don’t blame him.”
LOTTIE: “Is he gonna go away forever now?”
HARRY: “I can’t imagine that. He loves you guys too much for that to happen. He’ll be back here
soon. Next Christmas for his birthday. We’ll organize something for him.”
LOTTIE: “He left before and never came back.”
HARRY: “He’s back now.”
LOTTIE: “And he said he never wanted to come back again. He hates this place.”
HARRY: “He doesn’t.”
LOTTIE: “He hates us.”
HARRY: “That’s not true at all, Lottie. You know it’s not true. One bad day doesn’t change how
many years he has spend loving all of you. He was angry and hurt at something that had nothing to
do with any of you. None of that was directed at you. He’ll tell you that too.”
LOTTIE: (looking behind Harry at the bedroom) “Is he up?”
HARRY: “He’s taking the day off.” (Lottie’s face falls) “You’ll talk to him tomorrow.”
LOTTIE: (resigned) “He’ll leave again.”
HARRY: “He won’t do it again.” (Lottie doesn’t look so sure about it) “Louis is working on this.
He’s getting better every day. And at some point, this thing, what you saw last night, it won’t
bother him ever again. But I think it’s important that you let him change. Some of these things…”
(looks at the bag he’s holding) “He has to leave it behind and move on. That involves him not
looking at it anymore and that room not looking like that anymore.”
LOTTIE: “But—”
HARRY: “You might have liked that Louis, I know. You were close to him. You might want him
to be the same person he was when he lived in that room with all this stuff, but he’s not anymore.
He’s grown up. And thats fine. He’s different but he loves you the same way.”
7. INT. LOUIS’ BEDROOM — DAY
JULIAN: (picking up the phone, pleasantly surprised) “Must be an emergency if you’re spending
your money calling me internationally instead of buying condoms, which we all know are
expensive.”
LOUIS: (can’t match his banter but is glad to hear it) “Condoms are expensive and it is an
emergency. More of one than you can imagine, considering I’m calling in the first place. Who
would have thought?”
JULIAN: (letting him rant) “Mhmm.”
LOUIS: “I mean, I wouldn’t even come to therapy—I wouldn’t even think about it when Simon
told me at first and now…” (self-deprecating chuckle) “Here I am calling you all the way from
Europe.”
JULIAN: “Speaking of, how is Europe?”
LOUIS: “It’s ok.” (pacing around the room, stalling, breathes in, sighs, gulps) “It’s…well, to be
honest, it’s better than I expected in some ways.”
JULIAN: “That’s good. How’s your mom?”
LOUIS: “She’s fine. She’s happy I’m back. I’m happy she’s happy. We’re fine. We need work to
be close but it’s fine.” (kicks gently at the football on the floor) “It’s hard to be at home because it’s
familiar but that’s not really… I can tell you all about that when I’m back. That’s not pressing.”
(could continue this but getting right to the point might be braver, it takes courage, you know) “I
called because I got this urge to do something super stupid.”
JULIAN: “Sounds on brand.”
LOUIS: (laughs) “Right? And trust me when I say I’ve done many stupid things since I got here
but this one would truly be dumb.”
JULIAN: “What did you feeling like doing?”
LOUIS: (embarrassed) “Drinking. I felt like getting drunk again and it’s a fucking Sunday, I’m
home with my family and the love of my life, who’s trying his best to be there for me, doing a
fantastic job, like I can’t be more in love with him if I tried. And to be thinking about drinking
again, it sucks. It’s not good. I can’t go back to that. Not after I made so much progress.”
8. INT. OUTSIDE LOUIS’ BEDROOM — MEANWHILE
HARRY: “Lou, are you up—?” (about to open the door when he hears the talking inside, bites his
lip for a second, debating, before walking away again but not before staring at the door with a
proud smile) “Be better, pumpkin.”
9. INT. LOUIS’ BEDROOM — CONTINUOUS
JULIAN: (serious now: firm but comforting) “That’s gonna happen. At many points in life when
you’re in a bad spot, you will think of turning back to your old coping mechanisms. It’s instinctual.
Nobody likes feeling horrible and people have ways to avoid it, healthy and unhealthy ways. Until
lately, your way was drinking it away.”
LOUIS: “It didn’t always work. Most of the time it made stuff worse.”
JULIAN: “Unhealthy. You know that now and you knew that back then, a part of you probably
did. But you didn’t have anything better and you can’t blame yourself for that. We do what’s best
at the moment. You can’t blame the old you for wanting to survive and having no other tools.”
LOUIS: “But now I have them. I can do better.”
JULIAN: “Which is why you won’t go back to your old ways. The temptation will be there. Even
after years of being happy and healthy, it might come back. It’s ingrained. That doesn’t mean
anything. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed. We all have destructive thoughts. It’s the actions that
matter. It’s how we treat those thoughts, what we say to them, how we replace them with better
thoughts.”
LOUIS: “I don’t know if I’ve been responding all too well. I practically had a meltdown
yesterday.”
JULIAN: “What about?”
LOUIS: “How much of a failure I am.”
JULIAN: “Is that true? You being a failure.”
LOUIS: “…No, probably not. I’ve done lots of things right.”
JULIAN: “But being home makes you feel like a failure?”
LOUIS: “Actually, quite the opposite. Everyone here thinks I’m some mutant, special being for
having been to New York. They obviously don’t know how bad the city stinks.”
JULIAN: “Then how are you a failure?”
LOUIS: “I don’t know. I just know that yesterday when I was throwing shit against the wall, I was
one.”
JULIAN: “That bad?”
LOUIS: “Bad. It was bad, dude. It was tragic. I almost wanna laugh because like, when I think
back to it, it’s comical.”
JULIAN: “Sometimes laughing helps.”
LOUIS: “Too bad it happened to me so I can’t really be laughing about it. I can only cringe and
hurt and be ashamed at myself.” (looking at the box of belongings Harry has cleaned up, smiles) “I
can’t even…think about it. A hurricane hit the room. Hurricane Tommo.”
JULIAN: “What happened?”
LOUIS: “What I wanted to happen. I came here wanting to confront my past, the people that made
me miserable and when the time came…”
JULIAN: “You weren’t ready?”
LOUIS: “No… I… I was but they weren’t.”
LOUIS: “They didn’t know.”
JULIAN: (trying to understand) “Didn’t know…you were back?”
LOUIS: “Didn’t know what they did.”
JULIAN: “Ah.”
LOUIS: “They didn’t say…”
JULIAN: “What you needed them to say.”

LOUIS: “I thought I had no expectations. Harry told me to not have any plans and I thought I
didn’t. I believed it.”
JULIAN: “Everyone has expectations. You’ve been thinking about this for years.”
LOUIS: “Yes and get this, they hadn’t!”
JULIAN: “They forgot who you were?”
LOUIS: “No. That would be better, I think, maybe not, maybe it would suck equally. But they…
they were fine. They were fine with me. They wanted to talk to me and be friends.”
JULIAN: “And that killed you a little on the inside?”
LOUIS: “Yes. It wasn’t what I thought it would be. They didn’t care. I came in caring and they
didn’t care and I think that’s so unfair.”
JULIAN: “Unfair to who?”
LOUIS: “To me. It’s unfair that they can do that, that they can not care, that they’re not required to
care and here I am, caring, like a fucking idiot.”
JULIAN: “Are you required to care?”
LOUIS: “Yes. Because they ruined my fucking life and if I didn’t care about that I would… I
would…” (lost) “I don’t know what would happen. I don’t know what that would be like. I don’t
think it’s normal to not care about people who hurt you.”
JULIAN: “It’s definitely hard to do.”
LOUIS: “Am I supposed to do everything here? I’m supposed to be hurt and I’m supposed to
suffer it and I’m supposed to care and I’m supposed to then not care and I’m supposed to forgive
them and I’m supposed to forget about it. I am doing everything and they’re doing nothing and it’s
not fair.”
JULIAN: “It’s not. But you’re not doing it for them. You’re doing it for you. All that work you’re
putting in, it’s so you get to a better place. It’s so you can allow yourself to be happy. That’s the
difference. The only person benefiting from you forgiving them is you. They don’t care about it.
You do. So do it for yourself.”
10. INT. BATHROOM — LATER
HARRY: (opening the door, sees Louis inside, visibly relieved as much as he wants to play it off)
“There you are.” (enters) “I was wondering where you went.”
LOUIS: (getting undressed) “Yeah, sorry. I was on the phone and thought it smart to shower. I
still smell like smoke from yesterday. I’ll be a new person after I wash it all off.”
HARRY: “I understand.” (glancing at Louis’ scars) “Can I join?”
LOUIS: “I need a moment so maybe next time.” (trying to ease Harry’s worries) “You’d be too
distracting. I’d spent the entire time thinking about you. I just spoke with Julian and I need to
process everything he said. Heavy stuff.” (turning to start the shower but Harry grabs his hand,
holds him there, Louis sighs when he reads the concern in Harry’s face) “I know what you’re
thinking. I won’t.”
HARRY: “I didn’t think that.”
LOUIS: “It doesn’t matter. I still won’t.” (Harry won’t let go, Louis approaches him for a hug)
“I’m okay, Hazza. A little shook but alright. I wouldn’t ever do that to you and to myself. I
promised you I’m done with it.”
HARRY: (hugging him back) “I’m sorry. I just…When you hurt, I hurt.”
LOUIS: “I know. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for worrying you.” (quieter) “I’m sorry for yesterday.”
HARRY: (letting go of him) “You don’t have to be. It wasn’t on you.”
LOUIS: “I do. It was insane. I lost it. That’s why I need some time.”
HARRY: “I understand that.”
LOUIS: “Trust me.”
HARRY: “I do.”
LOUIS: “Trust me to be okay again.”
HARRY: “I do.” (opening the door again) “I only wanna tell you that you don’t have to do it
alone.”
LOUIS: “I won’t be doing it alone. I have you with me.”
11. INT. GUEST BEDROOM — NIGHT
LOUIS: (entering the bedroom) “I don’t reccomend it. It’s a dark read.” (Harry looks at him) “The
author didn’t have a firm grasp on grammar. Run on sentences everywhere.”
HARRY: (sitting on the bed, caressing the diary that’s by his side unopened) “Give him some
credit. It was published a decade ago.”
LOUIS: “Hey, at that age, Tyler Joseph was writing hit songs to be performed at Madison Square
Garden.”
HARRY: “I can’t imagine they were any darker than this.”
LOUIS: “No, probably not.” (a pause) “Were you gonna read it?”
HARRY: “I wasn’t. I don’t think it’s right.”
LOUIS: “I could have guessed that.” (walking to the window, looking out of it, did he see the sun
today?) “You might as well.”
HARRY: “No.”
LOUIS: “I’m saying maybe it’s best that you know.”
HARRY: “Then you’ll tell me.”

LOUIS: “What if I can’t?”
HARRY: “Then it’s not best that I know.”
LOUIS: “Maybe it’s best that you know and here we have a way for you to experience it live, raw.
And I don’t even have to do anything. I don’t have to get the courage to say it. I don’t have to face
you while you realize why I’m this way. I don’t have to see the hurt in your face. I can let you do it
all on your own. Selfish, right?”
HARRY: “I’m not one to read people’s diaries.”
LOUIS: (smiles) “Pity, I’ve read yours a ton of times.”
HARRY: “If I had one, you’d be more than welcome to read it. It would probably be poems about
you anyway. Every chapter, a different reason to be obsessed with you.”
LOUIS: “What’s today’s?”
HARRY: “Being with you gives me the strength to face my own faults. Not for you. For myself.
You’re my inspirational quote of the day.”
LOUIS: “That started off good and then went off the rails very quickly.”
HARRY: “Kinda like this book then.”
LOUIS: “Right, the author should have quit while he was ahead.”
HARRY: “I don’t need to read your stuff because it wouldn’t be the best retelling of things. I’m
not dating that Louis. I’m dating you. What he thought of the situation wouldn’t be what you think.
I don’t need to know the facts. They don’t matter. I don’t care about what happened and what
didn’t and when it all went down. I care about what happened to you inside, how you saw it—how
you see it now.”
LOUIS: “That’s what I care about too, you know? And before yesterday, I thought I knew what I
thought and how I felt. I thought it was solidified. I had a blanket full of hatred and rage and
disgust that I could hug to bed at night and avenged. Now… I’m not so sure anymore. I’m not
certain those feelings are mine. They feel like memories.”
HARRY: “They’re important whatever they are and when you feel ready to share them, I’ll be
here waiting.”
LOUIS: “You won’t have to wait for long because I have a story for you…”
Earned
Chapter 127: Earned
HARRY: “They’re important whatever they are and when you feel ready to share them, I’ll be
here waiting.”
LOUIS: “You won’t have to wait for long because I have a story for you…”
HARRY: “What kind of story?”
LOUIS: “A story that’s been on my mind a lot these past few days. That explains a lot of things, if
not everything.”
HARRY: (nods solemnly) “How do you wanna tell it?”
LOUIS: “Well.” (exhales, is he really ready to do this?) “Well, ok, if we’re gonna do this, it’s
gonna be a bit dramatic.”
HARRY: (soft) “I mean, it’s you were talking about.”
LOUIS: “Correct.” (Harry smiles, waits for instructions) “So um, here’s a thought…” (clearly one
he has been thinking about all day and didn’t come up with on the spot) “I’ll sit on the bed and you
will be over there…” (points next to the window at the corner of the room, sees Harry’s confusion)
“Because if you’re near me, rubbing my back, I’ll be crying before I even start and then there’s no
way I’ll get through it. You have that effect on me sometimes.”
HARRY: (doesn’t question it, stands up, walks to the corner) “Here?”
LOUIS: “Yes, sit.” (Harry sits on the floor, waits, Louis thinks for a bit) “And I’m gonna turn off
the lights, which normally means we don’t talk about it in real life but it’s not about that this time. I
don’t have to be sheltered anymore. We can…talk about it after this. We should actually. I’ll
probably need you later on. I just want the lights to be off now so it feels like I’m talking out loud
to myself. I’ve never said this story to anyone and I kind of need to trick myself into thinking I’m
still not.”
HARRY: “So I won’t look at you during?”
LOUIS: “Other way around.” (sad) “I don’t know if I can handle your pain on top of mine.”
HARRY: “I’ll handle both of ours then.”
LOUIS: (bravery and fear fighting for control in his eyes) “Promise?”
HARRY: “Promise.”
LOUIS: (turns off the light, settles back on top of the bed, minutes pass in dark silence) “Wow,
this is so ridiculous.” (laughing humorlessly in self-deprecation) “I don’t know why I’m like this.”
HARRY: (not knowing if speaking will help) “Is there any way I can help you with it?”
LOUIS: (long pause, torn, then finally, voice quivering a little bit) “The guy from yesterday…the
second guy, the guy at the door…”
HARRY: “The awfully touchy one with the frat boy hair.”
LOUIS: (cracks a smile) “Yeah, that one…” (more serious) “His name is Stan. He was in my
grade in high school.”
HARRY: (trying to coax the words out of Louis who seems to stop every few of them) “You were
friends?”
LOUIS: “We were good friends. We were close. We used to do everything together.” (shaking
hands, he pulls a pillow on his lap to have something to hold on to) “Back then he was really cool
and he was always there for me. When I was young at least, when we were both kids.” (hugging
the pillow to his chest) “He made me smile. He liked me…” (still pains him years later) “Not
many people liked me.”
HARRY: (moves closer automatically to hug him, before realizing and stopping) “This is hard.”
LOUIS: “Stay, please. Stay there and keep asking. I’m okay, don’t worry. I’ll tell you when I need
you. I know it’s not your way but this is the only way I know.”
HARRY: (nodding to himself, worried) “Guide me.”
LOUIS: “Ask me questions, all the questions you’d ask if you weren’t afraid of my reaction. Like
Julian does. Don’t stop no matter how bad I get. I need to let this out.”
HARRY: “I can’t promise you that.”
LOUIS: “I promised you I’d call you when I needed you. You have to promise me this. We have
to work together. This is hard for me too.”
HARRY: (pause, nodding to himself again, licking his lips to wet his mouth) “Ok. I got it, ok.”
(taking a deep breath) “You said you had a hard time when you were young?”
LOUIS: “Very.”
HARRY: (cautiously) “You had a hard time with the other kids, your classmates, people like
Calvin…?”
LOUIS: “Calvin, Oli, all of them. They didn’t like me. They thought I was annoying and mean.”
(ranting almost, getting caught up in his emotions) “But I was only mean because they hurt me.”
HARRY: “They called you names?”
LOUIS: “Mhmm.”
HARRY: (he knows but knows he has to ask) “What kind of names?"
LOUIS: "Many names."
HARRY: "Like what?"
LOUIS: “Like the F word."

HARRY: "Faggot?"
LOUIS: "Mhmm.” (cognitive dissonance) “They way I dressed, the way I…latched onto people. It
was weird, I guess, in hindsight. I was always a bit off and they noticed.”
HARRY: (palming his face with one hand, takes a deep breath before continuing) “You got
pushed around?” (long pause, just heavy breathing) “Lou? You got bullied?”
LOUIS: (wiping furiously at his face to stop tears from starting) “Ye—yeah.”
HARRY: “And Stan, he helped you out with the bullies?”
LOUIS: (whispered) “Never.”
HARRY: (confused again) “Why not?"
LOUIS: "He was scared. He didn't want to look—they could hurt him too."
HARRY: “What the fuck kind of best friend was he then?”
LOUIS: “He stopped…” (struggling to admit it) “He stopped being my friend.”
HARRY: “Why?”
LOUIS: “Because they started saying things about him that made it impossible for us to keep
being friends.”
HARRY: "What did they say?"
LOUIS: “That he liked me and nobody really liked me.” (masochistic humor) “It wasn’t really
trending that idea of me as likable. I was public enemy number one and whoever liked me was not
someone that was liked. Stan learned that when we went to high school. It was tougher to be weird
and blend in. I don’t blame him for distancing…”
HARRY: (soft) "Baby."
LOUIS: (starts crying quietly, puts his face on the pillow to muffle the noise) “Wait.” (sniffling)
“Give me a second.”
HARRY: “Take your time, sweetheart.”
LOUIS: (long pause where he takes deep breaths to regain composure somewhat, finally, voice
very quiet, subdued) “He started hurting me.”
HARRY: (anger showing in his voice) “He hurt you?”
LOUIS: "Yes. But at first he said it was just for show. We continued being friends at home,
behind closed doors. In school, he had to hurt me so the others believed him or we'd both be
bullied.” (criticizing himself) “Stupid excuse, I know. But I was a loser back then. I had no one and
I was willing to believe anything. I had attached myself to Stan so badly that the thought of him
leaving tore me apart. I’d have said yes to anything.”
HARRY: “So you let him hurt you.”

LOUIS: “Yes. I told myself that it was because I cared. He’d been my friend for so long and I
wanted to repay him somehow. I wanted to protect him.” (empty chuckle) “I wanted to play hero.
What’s the point of us both getting bullied, I thought. I was taking one for the team, being brave,
sacrificing.” (shaking his head in disbelief at the thought) “So I went with it. I let it happen. He’d
hurt me and I’d go home, bruised and in my mind, brave.”
HARRY: (caught up in the story, seeing a different side of Louis) “It didn't matter to him that he
was hurting you?”
LOUIS: "...I don't know. I guess not because after a while he started hurting me for real. He
wasn’t joking anymore. There was no bravery, no bluffing, no best friends. He knew he was
hurting me and it had nothing to do with the others. It wasn’t a performance. It was him, hating
me, torturing me. It was as if years of frustration had build up and I was his punching bag, his only
release. And I was still going with it. But no pretense on my part either, no more sacrificing for the
greater good. Just this sense that this was somehow right, that I deserved this.” (mocking himself,
his naiveté, his innocence) “Classic bullying, right? Like Calvin said, who hasn’t been bullied?”
HARRY: (starting to tear up at the thought, blinking his tears away) “He would hurt you…
physically?”
LOUIS: (only now that it has been said can he see the true extent of the mess) “Yup. Almost
always.”
HARRY: “Where?”
LOUIS: “Everywhere.”
HARRY: “Why? Why would anyone—” (desperate to understand, yet angry the more he knows
because he met this guy, this guy was right there in front of him, had he known this, what would he
have done) “Do that to a person. Why?!”
LOUIS: “Because…” (trembling now, shaky breaths, still in control of the situation, doing well)
“Because he found out.” (guilty to this day, despite everything he knows and has learned, haunted
by that one decision) “Because I liked him.” (struggling) “More. I liked him more.”
HARRY: "You more than liked him.”
LOUIS: "It was my fault. I made a mistake.” (clutching the pillow against his chest) “I did
something bad.” (rambling) “I didn’t mean it. I was sorry. It happened so quickly and I regretted it
the moment—the very fucking moment, you have to believe me. I was sorry.”
HARRY: “You tried… touching him?”
LOUIS: (stressed, first time he’s ever put it in words and the inexperience shows, it’s proving
difficult to explain) “I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t…gay. I didn’t have any knowledge of what that was
back then. It was his idea at first, not the touching but he suggested we watch, you know. I guess
guys do that all the time, as friends, they watch porn together but we were young and I was
confused. Everything was happening all at once and obviously, I’d be horny but I could tell what
was doing it. It just, I thought, I don’t know, I didn’t think. I didn’t think and it happened and I
never meant for it to happen. It just did. And it changed everything.”
HARRY: "That little cunt.”

LOUIS: (flinching at the language, swallows, bites his lip, shuts his eyes, knows he must continue)
“I apologized. I knew I was wrong and I said sorry. Repeatedly. I think I must have said sorry a
million times that night, as he…” (pained, face scrunched) “As he…” (it’s never an easy thing to
admit, especially for a man) “As he beat me up.”
HARRY: (devastated, had a feeling, the foreshadowing was there but so was hope) “He beat you
up?”
LOUIS: “For hours. Right here. In this room.” (eyes glazed over, remembering it) “Hours. I almost
broke a rid. It was real. No more play fights.”
HARRY: (enraged) “But you were here! You could scream. You could fight back and scream.
Someone would have come.”
LOUIS: “My mom came in my room that evening. I had tried to patch myself but it wasn’t that
much of a secret, I think. She knew. She thought it was normal. Boys fight. I couldn’t tell her what
it was about. I told her we disagreed on something and that it wasn’t as bad as it looked. I mean
what could I say? ‘Mom, I touched my best friend’s dick and he made sure I would never do it
again?’ I couldn’t do anything—and she couldn’t either, I don’t blame her. It was my fault this all
went down. I crossed the line.”
HARRY: “It wasn’t. You didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry that had to happen. I understand it better
now—”
LOUIS: “That uh…” (not as relieved as Harry, obviously not the end of the conversation) “That’s
not the real part.” (pained chuckle) “If you can believe it. In my fucked up fucking life, that wasn’t
even the actual thing that…made me the dumbass person I am today. It was the catalyst but there’s
more.”
HARRY: “There’s more?”
LOUIS: “Yes.” (scared) “A little more. That was the opening so you got an idea of where it all
started. I mean, don’t get me wrong, what Stan did to me that day was the biggest betrayal of my
life and I don’t know, to this date, if I can forgive him for it but it was physical. It could be
escaped. I could get over it if I had time, distance. If I didn’t have to go back to school to face him,
all of them.”
HARRY: (sensing Louis’ terror, almost selfishly wants to avoid it) “You don’t have to tell me.”
LOUIS: “I do. I have to tell someone. It’s part of the process, I think. I haven’t told a soul, not
even Julian. I told myself that it never happened and that telling a person would make it real. The
minute I told them, I would suddenly go through all the chaos of it being real. I never imagined
how much it still affected me, how many things I did because of it.”
HARRY: “Like the scars?”
LOUIS: “Like the scars, the big ones.” (Harry’s quiet) “I’ve come so far with this conversation
that it’d be wasted if I didn’t finish it. I’ve actually done much better than I thought I would. So
please, help me finish this.”
HARRY: “Alright, love. Let’s do it.” (leans back on the wall, knees up to his chest, wringing his
hands, prepared for the worst) “What happened after you and Stan stopped being friends?”
LOUIS: “I used to play soccer in high school…”
HARRY: “Yeah, you said you quit because—oh.” (putting it all together) “Because…of this? Was
Stan on the team?”
LOUIS: “Yes.”
HARRY: (dread) “He told them.”
LOUIS: “Yes.”
HARRY: “What happened?”
LOUIS: “They uh…they…” (crying silently, shaking, hiccuping with his contained tears) “ This
is…” (to himself) “I can’t do this…” (rocking himself back and forth) “This is hard.”
HARRY: “You don’t have to—”
LOUIS: “No. No, I will. I will do it.” (breathing deeply in and out to push the knot in his throat
down) “You have to know.”
HARRY: “I don’t have to.”
LOUIS: “I want you to.”
HARRY: “Can I be next to you at least? Can I be there for you?”
LOUIS: “No.”
HARRY: “I want to comfort you. You’re crying.”
LOUIS: “I don’t think I can do this without crying.”
HARRY: “I don’t think I can sit here and watch you suffer.”
LOUIS: “Do it for me. You want me better, right?”
HARRY: “But I can help.”
LOUIS: “You’re helping already. Just sit there a little more and it will all be over and we can hug
all night.”
HARRY: (unconvinced but unwilling to show Louis mistrust) “What did they do?”
LOUIS: “Do you know the game ‘Stone Face’?”
HARRY: “No.” (silence, Louis is audibly crying now, distressed) “Louis—”
LOUIS: “Ask how it works.”
HARRY: “How does it work?”
LOUIS: “Guys sit around a table…”

HARRY: “Yes?”
LOUIS: "They sit around a table without—without wearing pants, anything. Usually a team of
guys, like in the locker rooms. And someone, usually a girl…”
HARRY: (shaking his head all of sudden) “No. I don’t wanna hear this.” (upset) “No.”
LOUIS: (sniffling, breathing until he can manage enough self-control to talk) “Someone gets
shoved under the table—” (choked up, can’t finish it, covers his face with his hands, shaking his
head at the traumatic memories) “Someone…”
HARRY: (forcing himself to stay put, asking through grit teeth though he has a pretty good idea)
“What happens next, Lou?”
LOUIS: (practically incomprehensible with his crying) “That someone is supposed to go around—
go around the table…” (brokenly) “Oh god.” (still trying to continue, high-pitched in panic) “Go
around the table and it’s a game, you see…”
HARRY: (pleading, tearing up as well) “Please, let me hug you.”
LOUIS: (finally in one go) “That someone is supposed to—to—give a blowjob to guy at random
while the other guys, the guys around the table, they all try to guess who the guy being…”
(anguished) “Pleasured is. Then it switches. The point is for the guy getting oral to keep a stone
face while the other guys guess where the girl—boy—fuck. Fuck!”
HARRY: (shaking in rage at the thought) “No. They didn’t.”
LOUIS: “Stan said I deserved it. It was his idea…” (whimpered) “Help me.”
HARRY: (stands up, tackles Louis in bed, hugging him to his chest as Louis sobs violently, letting
it all his defenses down, the gravity of the situation upon him) “No, baby, no. It’s okay. It’s over
now.” (crying with Louis, holding him tighter, Louis on his lap, kissing Louis’ face) “Those
fuckers—those monsters will never hurt you again. Nobody will ever hurt you again.” (furious)
“They’ll pay. We’ll get them back. We’ll do everything that you need. I’ll do everything to make
this right. I’ll do everything for you.”
LOUIS: (not listening to Harry, still focused on explaining everything) “They wouldn’t let me
leave. They kept calling me a faggot and telling me to do it or they’d never let me get home. And I
believe them.” (sobbing) “It felt wrong. I felt disgusting. I hated every second of it. I was
convinced I had done something irreparable to deserve this. I could understand deserving the
beatings but this was so much and I felt so dirty.”
HARRY: “You didn’t deserve it, baby. You didn’t do anything. You were a kid.”
LOUIS: “They forced me through it, grabbed at me, shoved my hand down their…” (burying his
face in Harry’s shirt in shame) “They forced me to touch them, saying that I’d done the same thing
that night with Stan but I hadn’t. I would never, if I had known it felt like that I would have never
hurt him.”
HARRY: "They were wrong, so fucking wrong to do that to you. That’s rape.”
LOUIS: “I fought back as much as I could. I was small back then. I couldn’t do much but I tried
my best. I keep telling myself I tried my best, that I couldn’t have done more but sometimes…”
(whimpering) “Sometimes I don’t believe it.”
HARRY: “They ganged up on you. You were brave to even try. They’re cowards, criminals. They
should be in jail!”
LOUIS: “When I didn’t want to anymore, they started beating me up again.” (grasping Harry’s
shirt in his hands, can’t seem to get close enough to Harry) “They wouldn’t stop.” (wrapping his
arms around Harry’s neck, clinging on) “They wouldn’t stop and I was crying and bleeding and
everything hurt and I couldn’t breathe.”
HARRY: “My baby.”
LOUIS: “I kept pleading with them, kept saying I was sorry. Those same people that won’t
apologize to me now, I apologized to them ages ago before they even realized what they were
doing, before they even finished doing it. I was sorry and I’m sorry now.”
HARRY: “No!” (softer, choked in emotion) “Don’t you dare apologize about this.” (looking at
him, touching his face) “You did nothing wrong. Nothing!” (furious) “They sexually assaulted you.
They had no right to touch you.” (strangled) "To make you do anything. They pressured you,
threatened you, molested you.” (snarled) “God, I’ll kill them. I can’t believe I met them, shook
their hands after they did this to you.”
LOUIS: (almost silent) “You know what the worst thing is…” (shielding his eyes again, Harry
rubs his back, kisses his head) “The absolute nightmare thing is that—that I…” (can’t get the
words out, horrified with himself) “I liked it.” (absolutely terrified something bad will happen now
that he finally admitted it) “I must have liked it because as it was happening, as they were doing
this to me, as I consciously hated it…” (sobbing) “I got a boner—I’m so disgusting. I’m so fucked
up. This is all my fault, I’m like this. And now you know…” (practically begging) “Please, don’t
leave me.”
HARRY: “Never. I’m right here. I have you. You’re safe. I’ll always be here.” (clutching him to
his chest) “Always, you hear me? I’ll be here whenever you need me and I'll remind you that you
did nothing bad. Nothing at all.” (Louis nods but can’t stop crying) “Shh, you’re okay. Don’t talk
anymore. It’s okay.”
LOUIS: “I’m being a wimp about this.”
HARRY: (incredulous) “Are you serious? Lou, to have dealt with this on your own, telling no one,
keeping it a secret, going to school with the same people that tortured you.” (pause where he tries
to keep himself from breaking) “You’re strong. You’re the strongest person I know.”
LOUIS: “Don’t tell anyone. No one can no I’m like this.”
HARRY: “It’s between us. Just me and you, we’ll figure this out together. No one else has to
know. You don't have to re-live this story ever again.”
LOUIS: “I had to tell you so you understood why I did that yesterday. I’m not crazy. I’m not
weird. I’m not a bad guy. I snapped because they’d done this and I know, I fucking know I have to
forgive them but it hurts so bad. I know I’m supposed to be the bigger person but he was there
yesterday, the guy who destroyed me inside and out, and he treated me like we were best pals—
like in his mind, none of this ever happened, while in my mind it hasn’t stopped happening since.
Every night I live this on repeat and he’s there, having forgotten that one time he accidentally made
me want to commit suicide for years to come.”
HARRY: (to himself) “I should have punched him. I should have gone back in there. I knew I’d
regret not doing it.”
LOUIS: (taking deeper breaths now, calming down) “No, no.”
HARRY: “Why? After this, why does he deserve to be happy?”
LOUIS: “I don’t know. To be honest, I don’t know why but I know that it’s not about him now.”
HARRY: “It is. It’s his fault.”
LOUIS: “I know but it’s not about him anymore. I don’t know if there’s anything he could say that
would satisfy me and I don’t need his words.” (gathering some strength, more touched at his own
accomplishments than sad about the past) “I stopped cutting on my own. I stopped being afraid of
my sexuality on my own. I stopped fearing the thought of touching a man like that again on my
own. I got my college degree on my own. And after that my job. And friends, new best friends that
love me for me and would risk their lives to make mine better. And professional help for the first
time in my life. And you, my baby, my boyfriend. And every single moment we spent sexually,
every single kiss. I got every second of life I’ve lived until now on my own and it’s about that. All
this it’s about me.”
HARRY: (amazed) “It is. You did and you have every right to be happy."
LOUIS: "I am happy." (cry smiling) “I’m covered in snot and who knows what but I am so happy
and I needed to say this because…” (takes a deep breath, in many way this is the hardest thing he’s
ever done, the most painful of words) “Because I am done with this. I am officially done with this. I
don’t want this to be part of my future. I’m not packing it in my bag to take it to New York because
I have a lot more shit to squish in there. I’m…” (finally, out of breath with all his ranting) “Ready
to leave it all behind.”
HARRY: “Breathe.” (kisses his lip multiple times before touching their foreheads together)
“Breathe because for the first time you're finally free to do whatever the fuck you want to do.”
(Louis nods a few times, breathing silently, calming down, leaning on Harry’s chest, exhausted but
smiling) “I’m so proud of you.”
LOUIS: (running his fingers up and down Harry’s arm) “It’s over now. I’ve let you in completely.
There’s no more doubt in my mind about how much I love you. How much I trust you. I’ve given
you the power to destroy me essentially.”
HARRY: “I’d never hurt you.”
LOUIS: “I know but it means a lot to me that I could do that. You’re my boyfriend—I love saying
that—it’s pathetic but I can’t stop because you’re my first. I want this so badly. I wanted you to see
that. Words meaning nothing—I wanted you to see how much I'm willing to sacrifice for you.”
Enemies
Chapter 128: Enemies
HARRY: (in the kitchen, cooking breakfast, the house is empty because it’s Monday, everyone’s
gone save for Louis and Harry, the doorbell rings, once, twice) “Someone’s at the door…”
(remembers no one’s home, Louis is upstairs doing god knows what, sorting out his old stuff, the
doorbell rings again, more persistently) “Coming!” (wipes his hands on a towel, goes to the door,
without looking opens it, smile on his face) “Sorry about that…” (trails off when he notices who it
is, a few seconds of pause) “…Is this happening?”
STAN: (smiling, looks oblivious but hiding his nerves behind a blasé composure) “Hi… The
boyfriend, right? I didn’t get your name yesterday, sorry. I’m Stan.” (extends his hand, Harry has
no intention of shaking it, Stan lowers it back down awkwardly, stares at Harry, coughs, looks
inside past Harry’s glare) “Is Louis home perhaps?”
HARRY: (that insane tone you get when you’re so angry you almost sound happy) “And here I
was thinking I missed my opportunity with you. Here I was thinking I was going to regret not
meeting your properly.” (takes it literally and smiles again, looks forced) “I mean, I’m not a bad
person but if god is gonna tempt me like this… It looks a lot like fate.”
STAN: (chuckles, not quite getting it) “Is Louis…?”
HARRY: “What do you want with him?”
STAN: “To talk. Honestly, you don’t have to worry. It’s not like that. I just…I’m not threat.”
HARRY: (a sputter of disbelief) “You are so out of line right now, I’m actually shocked I haven’t
knocked you out yet.”
STAN: (kind of catching on that Harry might know but pushing forward with his original plan)
“I’m not here to cause trouble. I just thought…”
HARRY: “You just thought you were welcome here.”
STAN: “I just thought I could talk to him for a few seconds… if he’s here.” (Harry is a statue of
stoic rage) “Uh… can I come in?”
HARRY: (steps aside) “Sure.”
STAN: (entering the house, Harry closes the door behind him) “How was the rest of your night
—?”
HARRY: (grabs him by the clothes, shoves him against the door, back first) “How dare you come
back here after what you’ve done to him? You’ve got some fucking nerve, you piece of shit.”
STAN: (startled but not playing dumb) “I know what you’re thinking—”
HARRY: “You know—you know?! ” (pulls him by his clothes only to slam him back again, this
time not holding back, a second away from choking him) “You have no idea, you proven as much.
To have the guts to come here, in this same house where you fucking laid a hand on him, I should
be bashing your skull in right now.” (aggressive, bordering sadistic) “I’d have so much fun doing
it too. I spared you yesterday because I didn’t know but now that I do, I don’t have a reason to stop
myself anymore.”
STAN: (getting out of breath but hasn’t fought back yet, just trying to shuffle around so he’s not
practically being picked up by his clothes, whispering urgently) “I know, I know.”
HARRY: “You don’t know. And you’ll never know. Leave this house and never speak to him
again if you don’t want all the bones in your body broken.”
STAN: “I’ll do that if I can talk to him now, one last time.”
HARRY: (vicious, incredulous, at the brink of mass murder) “To do what? Reminisce about the
good, old days where you made him suck your fucking dick?”
STAN: (winces, kinda shocked, caught off guard, didn’t expect anyone to know that much) “I—
I…”
HARRY: (mocking him) “I—I what? I didn’t know that was illegal? I didn’t know that scarred
people for life? I didn’t know that wasn’t a fun game for the gang to play with a poor, confused
fifteen year old? I—I what?!” (with shaking hands that are slowly inching up to Stan’s throat but
not quite squeezing yet) “God, I want to hurt you so bad. I’m surprised I haven’t killed you yet.
Hurting you would be the best thing I did with my life.”
STAN: (trying to reason but only making Harry angrier) “No, it wouldn’t. You have a good life.
You have him. You don’t wanna go to jail.”
HARRY: “You should have gone to jail, you little rapist.” (Stan flinches at the word) “You should
have died in jail where you suffered ten times worse than what you made him go through.”
STAN: “I was a kid.”
HARRY: “I don’t care!”
STAN: (desperate to say anything right) “I was a kid too. I didn’t know.”
HARRY: “Oh fuck off, you pathetic scum.”
STAN: (somewhat losing his calm composure to a frightened, guilty, broken one) “I wanna talk to
him.”
HARRY: “Go to hell.”
STAN: “Let me talk to him, please. I wanna settle all this.”
HARRY: “Too bad you’re too late. The correct time to have settled this was years ago when you
left him with no friends.”
STAN: “I was wrong. I know. I regret it every day.”
HARRY: “The next best time to settle it was right before you decided to play that inhuman game.”
STAN: “It wasn’t like that.”

HARRY: “It wasn’t like what?”
STAN: “I didn’t know—” (Harry punches the door right next to Stan’s head, it’s loud, Stan closes
his eyes in anticipation, it echoes through the house, Stan’s voice is more wobbly now) “It didn’t
go like that…”
LOUIS: (from upstairs) “Is everything okay down there?”
HARRY: (fake happy) “It’s fine, love.”
LOUIS: (amused) “Ok, sounds like some experimental cooking.”
STAN: (trying to profit from Harry’s distraction to get a few words in) “I didn’t think—It
wasn’t…”
HARRY: “So he’s lying.”
STAN: (quickly) “He’s not. He’s not.”
HARRY: “I’m supposed to not believe him, the victim, and believe you, the psychopath with an
inability to tell someone was in pain.”
STAN: “I’m not saying that. I wanna explain. I wanna talk to him. I was wrong, I know.”
HARRY: “Wrong doesn’t begin to cover it.”
STAN: “I know but—”
HARRY: (through grit teeth) “Stop saying that. Stop making this about you because it’s not. You
did something wrong and you should live with it for the rest of your life and he doesn’t need your
explanation because nobody fucking cares what you thought and what you think now and who you
are now. It doesn’t matter to anyone in this world. It mattered what you did. You did it and it’s over
and it’s never gonna change. Ever. No chance.” (that’s a bit harsh but deserved?, Stan is almost
tearing up???) “You’ll be buried a rapist for all I care. And frankly, if you wanna know the truth, I
hope that burial is tomorrow.” (Wow, ok, that’s understandable but he’s a human too?) “The
sooner the better.”
STAN: “Ok, I agree, I wish that too.” (Harry doesn’t let himself pause, his sympathetic emotions
have long been turn off) “And it might very well be. That’s why I wanna say something now.” (h-
h-heavy) “I don’t know when I might ever get the chance and I don’t wanna die without saying
this.”
HARRY: “Too bad.”
STAN: “I feel like I can—”
HARRY: “You can’t do anything.”
STAN: (refusing to believe this, almost like his entire existence since then was relying on this
being a fact) “No, I can. I know it’s been so long but I can say—I can talk about this and make
something right. Any little thing. I can at least do a little thing, that’ll be enough.”
HARRY: “It doesn’t work like that. You don’t get to delete your crimes.”
STAN: “I’m not trying. I’m trying to talk about it—”
HARRY: “He doesn’t want to.”
STAN: “You haven’t asked.”
HARRY: “I don’t have to ask. Why would he ever want to give you a chance to explain when you
never gave him one before you destroyed his life? He made a mistake that day and suffered for it.
You’re gonna suffer for yours.”
STAN: “I don’t know. I don’t know. Because he’s better than me?” (pleading) “Just ask, okay?
Ask.”
HARRY: “I don’t want to.”
STAN: “But—”
HARRY: “No.”
STAN: “But—!”
HARRY: “No!”
STAN: (bursting out of him from frustration) “I’m gay!”
HARRY: (doesn’t miss a beat) “Oh, in that case, lemme call up my friends so we can properly
invite you to the club with some good, old fashioned PTSD.”
STAN: “I’m…” (doesn’t know what he wants to say and why and how) “I mean… I’m different,
I’m a different person and I know that that doesn’t matter, I know but I think…”
HARRY: “You’re right, it doesn’t matter. You can be gay and an asshole. It’s not mutually
exclusive.”
STAN: “I didn’t say that. I’m not trying to excuse it—”
HARRY: “Why did you say it then? Am I supposed to relate to you?”
STAN: “No I didn’t—”
HARRY: “Am I supposed to care?”
STAN: “I was trying to say—”
HARRY: “Am I supposed to pity you?”
STAN: “No! I…back then, I was scared…I was a kid.”
HARRY: “I don’t care.” (amazed that Stan doesn’t get it) “I do not care about you. I don’t care
about what you have to say.”
STAN: “Ok, alright, I get it. I understand, but can you just listen?”
HARRY: “No.”
STAN: “Can I just say something to him and that’s all. I don’t want anything. I’m not looking for
pity, or sympathy, or forgiveness, nothing. I just wanna say something and you can kick me out
after. I’ll be fine with that.”
HARRY: “I don’t know why you think you can come here and make demands and expect things
to go your way.”
STAN: “I’m not!” (frazzled, confused, frustrated, pained, you name it, all of it at once) “Punch me
then. Do what you have to do. You can punch and kick and… You can beat me up. You can do
whatever you want as revenge. You can hate me forever and not believe me and—”
HARRY: “I’m planning on that.”
STAN: “But hear me out—!”
HARRY: “Why?”
STAN: “Because I’ve been wanting to do this for so long.”
HARRY: “I missed the part where I care about you and what you want. This isn’t about you.”
STAN: “It’s not! It’s not. It’s not. It’s not. It’s about him. This is about him and I want to tell him
that. I knew it could be like this. I knew it wasn’t over after seeing him last night. And I could
continue to pretend that it’s fine, it’s bearable. But I’d regret it if I didn’t come and I don’t think
he’s coming back again anytime soon so I needed to at least try. I’m trying to maybe do something
right in my life.”
HARRY: (silence, Harry’s debating it in his head) “I think you should leave. Now.” (steps back,
lets Stan readjust his clothing) “Go and don’t bother us again. Pretend we don’t exist. You should
count yourself lucky for having had no consequences.”
STAN: “That’s not true. I did have consequences. I might not—”
HARRY: “Go, goddammit. Go.”
STAN: (last resort, resigned) “I’m sorry.”
HARRY: “It’s too late.”
STAN: “It’s not too late. Nothing is ever too late. Nothing. This matters. It won’t fix everything but
it matters. I know it matters. It matters to say it. It matters to say something because I was wrong, I
know that now, it’s been ten years of reflection and it’s no use wishing I could take things back but
I can do something in the present. Not just about me, about both of us. I can say something. It
matters. Trust me, please. Or trust my intentions right now. Trust this.”
HARRY: “Why should I?”
STAN: “Because you love him. And you’d do anything to make his life even a little bit easier. And
this might just do that.”
HARRY: (entering the bedroom, Louis is on his old gameboy) “Lou?”

LOUIS: (not looking up) “Yeah? Is your weirdo lunch ready? Can you believe this thing still
works? We can probably sell it on eBay for a million. Then use the money to go to the Bahamas
and I’ll teach you how to surf like the big boys.”
HARRY: “That’s a good plan. I’ve always wanted to surf.”
LOUIS: (bouncing on the bed) “Let’s do it. Let’s take a vacation after we tell Simon to suck it.”
HARRY: (fond ) “We won’t do that.”
LOUIS: “The vacation part or the Simon part?”
HARRY: “The Simon part. We can discuss the vacation.”
LOUIS: “I have a hidden fund. And after I sell this baby, it will triple in value.”
HARRY: (amused) “Yeah, we can talk about it but I was gonna ask about something else…”
LOUIS: (notices Harry’s distress) “What’s up? What’s wrong?”
HARRY: “Um. I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this…”
LOUIS: “Do what?”
HARRY: “Really, I’m debating if it’s a good idea to even tell you.”
LOUIS: “Tell me what? What’s happening?” (Harry stalls, looking at the door, not Louis, Louis
reads this as fear of judgment, talks more warmly) “Haz, it’s always a good idea to tell me,
whatever it is. That’s what we do, remember? We talk. We help each other. We trust each other.”
HARRY: “Right. That’s why I had to… I don’t want to make decisions for you but at the same
time I want you to know that you don’t have to do this. You can say no and I’ll fix it. It doesn’t
have to be a big deal. You don’t have to face everything.”
LOUIS: “Do what?” (getting more frustrated) “I can’t understand what you’re saying without
knowing what we’re talking about. One context, please.”
HARRY: (blurts) “Stan is here.”
LOUIS: “What?”
HARRY: “He… He’s downstairs. He wants to talk to you. I was ready to punch him dead and kick
him out but he says he should talk to you and I don’t want to make the decision for you. It’s not my
place. You’ve emphasized this journey being about you and I agree. So you should be the one to
decide.”
LOUIS: (processing the information) “He’s here…? Why? Because of yesterday?”
HARRY: (shrugs) “He says he wants to talk. I don’t know exactly what about. Assume the
worst.”
LOUIS: “What the fuck is he thinking?”
HARRY: “Should I kick him out?”

LOUIS: (thinking, hesitating) “I don’t… what is he even doing here? He didn’t have enough
yesterday? He wants that beer this bad?”
HARRY: (gently) “It doesn’t matter what he wants. What do you want to do?”
LOUIS: “I don’t know…I can’t think right now. I’m…confused.”
HARRY: “I can tell him to leave. He might want to talk but you don’t owe him that time to listen.
Don’t stress yourself.”
LOUIS: (not listening to Harry, too busy debating it in his mind) “What would we even talk
about? This is such bullshit.”
HARRY: “I’ll go tell him to fuck off.”
LOUIS: “No, wait.” (Harry stops, waits for Louis to gather his thoughts) “Maybe I should do
this.”
HARRY: “You don’t have to do anything.”
LOUIS: “I know. I know. But maybe this good. Maybe this will be good closure. Closure is
always good, right? Letting go of things?”
HARRY: “I thought yesterday was enough closure.”
LOUIS: “It was. I was ready to put it behind me.”
HARRY: “So then it doesn’t matter if he’s here.”
LOUIS: “I know. I wasn’t expecting this, or needing it.”
HARRY: “So then?”
LOUIS: “Nothing. Just… when the opportunity presents itself, might as well think about it at
least.”
HARRY: (wants to protest, how can he not, considering what Stan did, but stays quiet, this is
firmly Louis’ decision) “Ok, babe, let’s think. Let’s debate.” (Louis seems stuck) “Will seeing
him…trigger you?”
LOUIS: “Maybe… I hope not.
HARRY: (concerned about the situation) “Will it make things worse?”
LOUIS: “I don’t think so. After yesterday, I don’t imagine so…”
HARRY: “Will it make things better?”
LOUIS: “I don’t think so.”
HARRY: “So it seems like it’s not worth it—”
LOUIS: (determined now) “But I should do it.”

HARRY: “What?”
LOUIS: “I should do it or I’ll be wondering about it.”
HARRY: (knows he’s defeated) “Are you sure, babe?”
LOUIS: “You’re worried about me?”
HARRY: “Of course. How can I not be after what you told me?”
LOUIS: “I know. I know…”
HARRY: “You were at a good spot yesterday. You’re good right now. I don’t want him to make
you feel anything but. I don’t want him to guilt you or hurt you or drag you back into that darkness.
It’s not fair to you. It’s not fair that he’s trying to make himself feel better by risking your well-
being again. It’s selfish.”
LOUIS: “It very well might be. Or it might not. It might be useless. Or it might not. It might be
something that hurts my very soul. Or it might not. But you know me. I can’t leave it at that. I can’t
not know.”
HARRY: (knowing Louis will do it) “Maybe I shouldn’t have told you…”
LOUIS: (hugs Harry) “Maybe. But you did and I love you for it.”
HARRY: “Don’t push yourself. You have nothing to prove to no one. Not even your young self.”
LOUIS: “I know. It feels good to be the one that’s listening, the one that has to do none of the
work.” (teasing) “I’m enjoying being power-hungry.” (squeezes Harry’s ass playfully) “Maybe this
is what I should be doing with you.”
HARRY: “As much as I would love to take you right here—or rather let myself be taken. I’ll give
me to you…” (making fun of himself) “That was a mess. As much as that, a twat is sitting in the
living room, possibly stealing everything so…”
LOUIS: “I don’t know, that’s kind of hot. Weren’t you the voyeur sex guy?”
HARRY: “Slowly inching closer to letting myself be given away like a secondhand coat.”
LOUIS: (laughing) “You’re right. We should settle this first.” (walks towards the door, Harry
stops him, holding his arm) “What?”
HARRY: “I’ll go get him. Stay here.”
HARRY: (walks in, Stan following him like an abused dog, tail between his legs, Louis seems
much shyer now, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room) “Here you go. If you want him
out, I’ll drag him by his dick and throw him out the window. Just let me know.”
LOUIS: (half-smile before he turns serious when he looks at Stan) “Hi Stan.”
STAN: “Hi Louis. Thanks for letting me talk.”

LOUIS: “You’re uh…welcome?” (clearing his throat) “Don’t make me regret it.”
STAN: “I won’t.”
LOUIS: “Ok.”
STAN: “I’m not gonna take too much of your time.”
LOUIS: “Ok.”
STAN: (lingering, stalling) “Can we talk?”
LOUIS: “I think you being here already answered that.”
STAN: (looks at Harry, not wanting to push his luck) “He can be here, but I’d prefer if he
wasn’t…”
HARRY: “I’d prefer you were dead and rotting, being eaten by maggots who lay colonies of eggs
in your eyeballs.”
STAN: “Fair enough.”
LOUIS: (thinking about it) “I don’t know…”
HARRY: “Don’t worry about him, Lou. This isn’t about making him more comfortable.”
STAN: “I didn’t say it was. I just wanted to talk to him, one-on-one, because this is about us. I
think maybe that way, it might be easier. I know he tells you everything so… you’ll know
eventually.”
HARRY: “Sorry if I don’t trust you in a room with him after what you’ve done.”
LOUIS: (Stan sighs, Louis palms his forehead) “Well, ok, yeah. I guess that’s fine. That makes
sense. I’m fine with it.” (Harry’s about to open his mouth to speak) “I’m fine, Hazza. I’ll be ok.
You can finish cooking. I’ll call for you if anything…suspicious happens.”
STAN: “Nothing will happen. I’m not here for…” (upset) “Nothing is going to happen other than
talking.”
HARRY: (ignoring him, to Louis) “Are you sure?”
LOUIS: “I’m sure. It’s for the best.”
HARRY: (unsure but nods) “Ok. You know I’m right here for whatever…” (Louis nods, smiles at
him, Harry nods to himself again, starts walking out but not before staring at Stan, warning) “I
don’t trust you. I don’t want anything to do with you. But he’s giving you a chance so you better be
doing right by him or I swear to god.”
STAN: “I know, I know. You’ll kick me in the balls. I’ve figured.”
HARRY: “It’s not funny.”
STAN: (sad smile) “I know. It’s not. I just…” (sighs, Harry walks downstairs, leaving the two
alone, Stan sighs again, the weight of the world, man) “It’s not funny at all.”
LOUIS: “So…” (rocking on his heels, kind of doesn’t know how to position himself, considering
the only place to sit is the bed and him and Stan in a bed is a hard pass) “This is awkward.”
STAN: “It’s been a while, huh? You’ve grown.”
LOUIS: “Everyone tells me so.”
STAN: “Everyone’s talking about it.”
LOUIS: “I guess growing is a me-thing. No one else in the universe does it. I’m the exception. It
has people shocked.”
STAN: “Still as sarcastic as ever…”
LOUIS: “We should sit on the floor.”
STAN: “Oh…kay. Here?”
LOUIS: “Yeah, I mean, unless this thing is a short, one sentence kind of pitch that you can do
standing up.”
STAN: (sits himself on the floor, next to the box of stuff Harry packed that Louis was going
through) “It’s not. I guess it depends on how long you’ll be willing to listen.”
LOUIS: (sits also, crosses his legs) “I’m not known for patience so can’t make any promises.”
STAN: “That’s fine. This was good enough for me. More then.”
LOUIS: (dry) “Cool. I’m glad I could be of service.”
STAN: (silence) “You’re packing?”
LOUIS: “Cleaning up. The room hadn’t change since…since last I was here so…”
STAN: “Yeah, I recognize it. I remember the bedsheets.” (Louis can’t help the slight twitch of
disdain on his lip) “I used to spend a lot of time here. Practically memorized the place.”
LOUIS: (blunt) “Stan, I don’t know what this is but I know I don’t want it to be that. I don’t want
to sit here and talk about that with you like oh wow look how much time has passed, isn’t it crazy
how time flies, oh to be kids again, oh our gone childhoods in the suburbs, I don’t care for it. At
all.”
STAN: “Right… I should get to the point.”
LOUIS: “You should do whatever you came here to do.”
STAN: “I’m trying to work up the courage or like…” (chuckles from nerves, Louis is bluntly
uninterested in acknowledging it) “I don’t know how to go about it.”
LOUIS: “Say what you gotta say.”
STAN: “Right.” (a few seconds pass, tense, heavy silence) “I see you have a boyfriend…” (Louis
rolls his eyes, is about to call him out on his stalling when Stan interrupts) “I have one too.”
LOUIS: (surprised but not showing it) “Congrats.”
STAN: (this isn’t going well) “I’m… I figured you didn’t know since I’m sure you don’t keep up
with me.”
LOUIS: “I don’t.”
STAN: “Yeah, so I…uh…”
LOUIS: “Is this what you came to tell me? Because I’m gonna vote no on double dates. We’re
never gonna be friends again. You can forget it. Please stop telling me about your life or
pretending to be interested in mine. It’s uncomfortable and fake and time-consuming. I’m not
gonna be pleasant and pretend, like the rest of this town loves to do. Stop being friendly. We both
know the time for that is long gone.”
STAN: “I wasn’t trying to do that. I just… I guess I kinda wanna talk about…”
LOUIS: “You?”
STAN: “No, I just…I came out and I thought…”
LOUIS: (blatant sarcasm mixed with vicious mocking) “Oh my god, little Stan came out. Wow,
let’s relate. We’re so alike. Wow. Amazing.”
STAN: “Lou…”
LOUIS: “Don’t call me that.”
STAN: “I’m sorry.”
LOUIS: “Don’t be. Just don’t…refer to me. Don’t talk about me. Don’t think about me. Don’t
have any hopes about me being ‘Lou’.”
STAN: “I don’t.”
LOUIS: “So why are you here?”
STAN: “I wanna talk about…” (swallowing stressfully, wetting his mouth) “You know…”
LOUIS: “The whole rape thing?”
STAN: (shuts his eyes, looks down in discomfort before opening them again but not looking at
Louis) “I don’t know how to do this.”
LOUIS: “I thought you came here with a plan. It sounded like it back there. Step one, mention
your boyfriend. Step two—”
STAN: “Stop.”
LOUIS: “Talk. I’m all ears.”
STAN: “I did come here with a plan. I’ve fantasized about this for years but like, it’s different.”
(hard for him to talk) “It’s different having a human here, looking at you, judging you, seeing
you.”
LOUIS: “Me being a human didn’t change anything back then.”
STAN: (weak, whispered almost) “I was scared.” (wringing his hands until their a painful shade of
white) “I was young and I was scared and I was wrong.”
LOUIS: “I was young too but I didn’t do that to anyone.”
STAN: “I know. I’m not using it as an excuse or a shield.”
LOUIS: “You are.”
STAN: “No, but… I… I don’t want…” (trying to change tactics) “Have you ever done something
horrible in the past that you live with every day of your life since? Something you’d never do now?
Something you did then because god knows why. Have you ever…I don’t know…” (shaking in
effort now but holding it together) “I don’t know. Sometimes, I mean… I regret…I regret things, I
think about things, about bad things I’ve done, not just this. This—that was so bad, so, so bad,
and… but every bad thing, I think about them every day and I don’t know, I guess I’m a bad
person but I regret them, I obsesses over them. I don’t know how to live with them but I do, I have
to, and I don’t know… I’m supposed to be bad but I feel bad about it and I don’t know.”
LOUIS: “I haven’t done something horrible like that so I don’t know either. I can’t help you.”
STAN: (confessing) “I’ve tried killing myself.”
LOUIS: “Me too.”
STAN: “I’ve had attempts.”
LOUIS: “Ok.”
STAN: “I was hospitalized. I’m not… I almost succeeded.”
LOUIS: (softening a little but not much) “I… How can I care, Stan?” (Stan winces, shoulders
curled) “I’m not trying to be mean, I’m actually wanting to put an effort in this and listen to you
without wanting to find reasons to dissect you and hate you and hurt you, I am trying my best for
all that. But how can I care? I don’t know why you’ve come here to make me care, why you
thought it was possible… I don’t see a point. I mean, I’ve held this burden in my heart for years
and felt like absolute shit about it…”
STAN: “I understand.”
LOUIS: “Wait, I wasn’t finished. I’ve done that for years and now you’re coming here and
actually asking me to hold your pain too. On top of mine. You’re coming here to share that you’ve
suffered for doing this to me and it’s fucking messed up, man. Can’t you see that? To ask me to
suffer alongside you. I can’t be responsible for my tormentor’s pain. It disgusts me, the idea of it.
That pain is tainted with my tears and blood. I can’t bear it. I don’t want anything to do with it.”
STAN: “I’m sorry.”
LOUIS: “That’s fine.”
STAN: “I didn’t come here to guilt-trip you.”
LOUIS: “I don’t think you did. It doesn’t mean it’s not happening.”
STAN: “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I don’t know how to say this. I’m getting it all wrong.”
LOUIS: “What did you come here to say?”
STAN: “That I…” (lost for words, it’s hard) “That I care…about it. I cared and I care and…”
(swallows, opens his mouth, closes it, shakes his head, tries again, fails, it seems like an eternal
loop of self-flagellation that’s frankly, painful to witness, makes you wanna look away and that’s
what Louis does, focused solely on the box) “I don’t expect you to forgive me, Louis. I don’t ask
for it. I would never ask for it. I don’t think it works like that and no matter what… like Harry said,
he’s great by the way, he’s…he loves you and…”
LOUIS: (seeing Stan completely get lost in the tangent, helping him if only to end this) “Like
Harry said what…?”
STAN: “He said this is one is one of those things I have to live with or die with or I don’t
fucking…I don’t know if I wanna live or die and I don’t know why I’ve come here to unload it on
you. I guess, I’ve told no one and you were there and…”
LOUIS: “Stan, you hurt me. This isn’t some petty secret we share. You abused me. We can’t
relate. We weren’t on the same level. You’re asking the person you bullied to feel for you.”
STAN: “I know. I’m sorry. For doing this. For everything. I don’t know why I’m doing this. I’m
embarrassed. I don’t know… I didn’t come here for that. I know what I’ve done is beyond that. I
just wanted to let you know that… that I live with those memories every day of my life too. It
haunts me too. I haven’t forgotten about it at all. It matters to me too.”
LOUIS: (what he wanted yesterday, right? but guess what, it actually does not change things like
he imagined it would) “I don’t know what to say. I don’t think there’s anything to say.”
STAN: “I don’t want you to say anything.”
LOUIS: “Ok. I just…” (uncrossing his legs so he can hug them to his chest) “I used to think that if
we ever did this, talked again, I used to imagine what it would be like…”
STAN: (breathy) “Me too…”
LOUIS: “I used to think I would have asked you things. Like I would have asked for explanations.
I would have asked why or how… or at which point you decided…if I could have done something
different… I just had so many questions in my mind.”
STAN: “You can ask.”
LOUIS: “I know, but I don’t think it’s worth it. I don’t think it will help with anything because I
don’t think it matters right now to ask why and why not. It won’t change anything. For me at least,
it won’t, it’s not that kind of thing. I’ve forgotten the questions. Even if I could remember, I would
not care the same way. In fact before this happened, I had decided that I was done with it. I still am
done. I’m done thinking about it and wondering.”
STAN: (genuinely wants to know) “How?”
LOUIS: “I don’t know. Hard work. Having suffered for a long time. Talking to people.
Recognizing that stuff’s good now and I’m happy…”
STAN: “I’m happy for you. I really am. It helps to see.”
LOUIS: “You can use me as whatever. If it helps your conscience to see that I’m somehow over it,
then whatever, you know? It’s your life. You can find your ways to deal with it.”
STAN: (nods, looks around the room sadly, a pitiful display) “I’ll try.”
LOUIS: “I don’t feel sorry for you. I can’t. You came out of nowhere and for no reason hurt me. I
did nothing wrong and you hurt me. Maybe if you had come to me back then, or even a few years
ago, or months ago, who knows? Maybe I’d have felt for you. I’d have wanted to give you the
benefit of the doubt. But having come to terms with the fact that I did nothing wrong, that as cocky
as that sounds, I’m completely blameless.”
STAN: “You are. It’s not cocky.”
LOUIS: “Knowing that, I can’t feel for the person that made the decision to hurt me.”
STAN: “I agree with you. I can’t feel sorry for myself either.”
LOUIS: “It’s a sad thought. In general, it’s sad. But for me to be able to offer you something, I’d
have to make it worse on myself and I don’t wanna sacrifice that.”
STAN: “It’d be crazy of me to ask you to.”
LOUIS: “You can ask. You can do anything. I can’t imagine what that life feels like or that kind of
sadness or that kind of pain and suffering and guilt. I cannot imagine. I used to think you were
different, I mean, like messed up different…”
STAN: “I probably am. It takes someone messed up to do that.”
LOUIS: “Sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it’s normal people doing terrible things in terrible
circumstances. I can’t forgive you as a person ever but I can give you that much… that maybe you
weren’t always like that and maybe other things happened to contribute to this mess. Maybe there’s
something else to this and…” (takes a deep breath, it’s equally satisfying and hard to say) “And
maybe there’s something in you that’s good. I think there is. Despite all that happened, I wanna
believe there this. It won’t be something you’ll ever share with me but you can do with it what you
want in your future. You have options.”
STAN: (rubbing tears from his eyes) “I do regret it, deeply, with every fibre of my body. I don’t
know if you’ll ever believe it… I don’t know if I need you too, I won’t insist on it but I am sorry.
What I did was wrong and I am truly sorry. I think about it every day, try to understand it, try to
figure out what the next step is, how you can ever bounce back from these things. I used to think it
wasn’t possible. I mean, some mistakes stick with you forever… but… but this isn’t about me and I
thought you should know that I’m sorry for it. It’s a blessing to see you do well despite it all.”
LOUIS: (nods) “I appreciate the apology.”
STAN: (standing up again) “Well… Good luck in America. Give them hell.” (extends his hand to
help Louis up and Louis takes it, they stand in front of each other, looking at the other for almost
certainly the last time) “For what it’s worth… I liked you back.”
LOUIS: (shaking his head, smiling in disbelief at how shit is and how shit goes, life and all its
blessings) “I hope you have a good life, Stan. Find peace. Some day you will. Not here with me,
but you’ll have your arc. I think everyone deserves one.”
4. INT. LOUIS’ ROOM — DUSK
HARRY: (folding clothes and laundry on the bed, side by side, so they can pack it) “It’s brave
what you did.”
LOUIS: “I didn’t do much.”
HARRY: “You listened. That’s already much more than most people would do. He violated you
and you had the heart to listen.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, I guess.”
HARRY: “I don’t think I’d have done it.”
LOUIS: “Let’s not make it some saintly miracle.”
HARRY: “It practically is.”
LOUIS: “It’s not. It’s strange.”
HARRY: “How?”
LOUIS: “I don’t know, the whole thing. I don’t forgive him. I don’t. I don’t want you to think that.
I don’t pity him, not exactly, because he brought it on himself but it makes me think… these
people, the bad people stereotypically, the people who do bad things… they have lives too and I
wonder what that life is like.”
HARRY: “It’s the life they chose. Most are psychopaths. They don’t feel like normal people. They
don’t lead lives like normal people.”
LOUIS: “That’s wrong.” (Harry cocks his head sideways) “I think you’re wrong there. I think
most people who commit crimes are normal humans, whatever normal means. Psychopaths exist
but I don’t think Stan is one and I don’t think the majority is either. That would be like drowning in
psychopaths.”
HARRY: “Even if they’re not psychopaths, there’s something wrong with them. You and I
wouldn’t go kill someone or hurt someone. We have…I don’t know, like a a heart, a soul.
Conscience perhaps.”
LOUIS: “I think they do too, Haz.”
HARRY: “Lou…”
LOUIS: “I honestly think that. I think it’s a terrible burden to bear, having committed a crime. I’m
not religious but like, it’s a stain on your soul and the fact that you have to keep living your life, I
mean, it’s a terrible thing.”
HARRY: “You have to remember they committed a crime. If they do lead terrible lives, I’m happy
for it. I rejoice.”
LOUIS: “I know, I know. That’s why I’m struggling. They did something bad and they deserve
bad but… like I’m not disagreeing with it. I’m not saying we should forgive criminals or that they
should go unpunished. I’m saying that after all that is said and done, even after the crime, they
have a life to live and they can choose to live it better. I think they should be allowed that choice.”
HARRY: “I doubt they’d take it.”
LOUIS: “Some will. I wanna believe it’s not a forever sentence, not just because of Stan, but
because of everyone in jail right now. Some will and it’s their own struggle. I’m not being naive. I
just think people should always be given the chance to change, even the absolute worst people.”
(shrugs, goes back to sorting clothes) “I wish him well.”
HARRY: (touched) “It takes an amazing heart to say that, you know?”
LOUIS: “It was definitely a learning experience.”
HARRY: “Did it help talking to him?”
LOUIS: “Yes. It made me see that there’s wrong and right but feelings, they’re not as black and
white and it’s a freeing decision to not actively hate someone. Especially when you’re sort of
expected to. You’re told all the time that you should hate and you should feel insulted. It helps to a
certain point but after a while, it holds you back. I mean, it’s good to finally say that I’m not going
to be doing that anymore. I’m going to be doing other things.”
HARRY: “It’s a sign of growth and maturity and kindness and a whole ton of bravery.”
LOUIS: “I’ve got you to thank, sweet boy.”
HARRY: “I don’t know, up until now, I was all for scalping Stan.”
LOUIS: “But you didn’t so I think deep down, you knew there were other ways too. And you told
me he wanted to talk so I think maybe you wished for something too, I don’t know, closure,
redemption, something. Something else. Something more to it.” (realizing it’s been so intense,
wants to lighten the mood, exaggerating his tone) “Look at us, drama children, all grown up and
all, I could just cry about it.”
HARRY: “Or you could use that time and energy to help pack.”
LOUIS: “Excuse you, I’ve folded this one shirt.”
HARRY: “I know you did, because it’s done wrong.”
LOUIS: “There’s no wrong way to fold a shirt.”
HARRY: “I beg to differ.”
LOUIS: “Wow, already domestic nagging.”
HARRY: “More like, already an unfair and unequal divide of domestic labor.”
LOUIS: “More like, already a divorce in the horizon.”
HARRY: “Marry me first.”
LOUIS: “I plan to.”

HARRY: “Fine.”
LOUIS: “Fine.”
HARRY: “Give me that shirt. I need to fold it right so it doesn’t get ostracized by the others
because it’s different.”
LOUIS: “You’re a moron.”
HARRY: “I feel for it. It’s like that shirt represents me.”
LOUIS: (pushes him lightly) “Don’t start again. Not that heavy shit again. Let packing be
packing.” (Harry points his tongue out, continues to fold everything, Louis picks it up and puts it in
the bag, eventually, after seconds of silence…) “Moron.”
5. INT. LIVING ROOM — NIGHT
LOTTIE: (on the couch, in pajamas, watching TV) “Will you be back?”
LOUIS: (sitting next to her, Harry’s upstairs on the phone with his mom) “Of course. I’ll come for
the holidays. You can have my room in the meantime. I think having the room stay empty is a
waste. It’s big. You should use it.”
LOTTIE: (tempted but…) “Then where will you stay when you come?”
LOUIS: (shrugs) “Guest room, your room, couch? I can handle that for a few days. I don’t think
I’ll be living home any time soon so I shouldn’t have a room. When the twins grow up, it’ll be
difficult.”
LOTTIE: “You won’t live here because you hate it here?”
LOUIS: “I don’t hate it here. I might have but at the end of the day, this is my home and I can’t
truly hate it but—”
LOTTIE: “But you have Harry, I get it.”
LOUIS: “Not even that, as much as I adore him and will support him whatever he does.”
LOTTIE: “What then?”
LOUIS: “I’m finally going back to New York and I feel more hopeful than ever. I feel like I can
actually do something now with my life. I have the opportunity. I would never go back on my own
but now that Harry is there and I have a reason, it has opened a door for me to try again.”
LOTTIE: “What about Disney?”
LOUIS: “You and I both know Disney and I had a love-hate relationship. Disney was good but… I
wasn’t made for it.” (exaggerating) “I was made for greatness.”
LOTTIE: “Right, of course. You were made to be famous.”
LOUIS: “Now you’re getting it. I’ve been applying to a few places, actual acting jobs.” (trying to
downplay how nervous he is to put himself out there again) “Who knows? Maybe I’ll score a role
in Harry’s future movie and become the next Brad Pitt.”
LOTTIE: “Well, if you do, you need to bring me with to your premieres so I can date Ezra
Miller.”
LOUIS: “Ezra Miller is setting your sights too low.”
LOTTIE: (mock gasp) “How dare you? I no longer support your dreams. Stay failing and become
a bum.”
LOUIS: (smiles) “You should all visit. Once we’re settled into our new place, you should come,
the whole family.”
LOTTIE: “To New York?”
LOUIS: “Yup.”
LOTTIE: (excited) “That would be so cool.”
LOUIS: “Yeah, it would be. I didn’t manage to get you guys to see Disney so New York is the
next best.”
LOTTIE: “New York is the best. We can go watch a show on Broadway.”
LOUIS: “You can watch me on Broadway.”
LOTTIE: “Done. You have until December to get a job. Then we can do Christmas in New York!
We can watch the ball drop! And do your birthday celebration. With cupcakes! We can all come.”
LOUIS: “That would cool. I have some money saved up so I’m thinking New York surprise trip.”
LOTTIE: “Really?!”
LOUIS: “Yeah, but shhh…mum can’t know or it won’t be a surprise.”
LOTTIE: “Oh my god, Lou, really?!”
LOUIS: “Don’t look so shocked, it was your idea.” (Lottie squeals in joy and hugs Louis) “You
have to help mum around the house though, with the twins, so you can earn it.”
LOTTIE: “I will. And I’ll keep it a secret.” (more squeals) “Well, as well as I can. The excitement
might give me away. God, it’ll be so great! I’m gonna start packing like right now. I’ll get my
outfits ready. It will be the best time ever. Like Sex and the City.”
LOUIS: “Maybe less of the sex part.”
LOTTIE: “Who knows?”
LOUIS: “We should do your new room while Harry and I are still here. We’ll help you move the
furniture. It’ll be quicker.”
LOTTIE: “Are you sure?”
LOUIS: (stands up) “Positive. You’re the oldest here now. You deserve the biggest room.”
LOTTIE: (follows him up the stairs) “But you’ll keep coming back, right?”
LOUIS: “As if I could let you enjoy all the power. If I didn’t return from time to time to bully your
fart-face, you’d become a tyrant.” (Lottie rolls her eyes, smiling) “I love you guys, nothing is
gonna change that. Not even the fame.”
6. EXT. STREET IN FRONT OF THE HOUSE — NIGHT
LOUIS: (outside with their bags, waiting for the cab to arrive, long but pleasant sigh, looking at
the sky, stupid smile on his face) “I’m glad I did this.”
HARRY: “So at the end of the day, you were right and Julian was wrong.”
LOUIS: “I couldn’t have come up with a better summary myself.”
HARRY: “All’s good if Lou is right.” (Louis chuckles, looks at Harry, happy as hell, Harry winks
at him) “I’m glad we did this too. I’m glad for every moment.”
LOUIS: “Even the one where I tore down the room and almost nailed you in the head with a book
shelf?”
HARRY: “That actually made it much easier for us to move Lottie in. Not my kind of spring
cleaning but efficient. I will consider it next time I need to clean the apartment from your take-out
boxes.”
LOUIS: (pouting) “You’ll see that once we have a new place, I’ll be very clean.”
HARRY: “I don’t need to see. We’ve been living together long enough for me to know it won’t be
that way.”
LOUIS: “Nope. That was Disney’s place. Completely different story. Once it’s my own place, I’ll
care about it more.”
HARRY: “When we actually have to pay for it, you mean?”
LOUIS: “That too. How’s the search going?”
HARRY: “Not bad. I have come to terms with the fact that we’ll be living in a bathroom-sized
apartment with no windows and no warm water, somewhere that no subway lines even touch.
Possibly someone’s attic or basement.”
LOUIS: (joking) “Me, you and all the rats. Score!” (Harry whines, makes a disgusted face)
“Embrace the New York struggle, hubby. It’ll be an adventure.” (Harry whines again) “You
should look in Brooklyn. Your hipster ass will fit right in.”
HARRY: “And what will you be doing all day, may I ask?”
LOUIS: “Stalking famous people. Becoming a famous person. Moving up in the world. You name
it. Don’t you think I’ll be stuck with your student loan ass for all eternity.”
HARRY: (grinning) “So you’re only using me for the move."
LOUIS: “For the car, more specifically. When has it ever been different?”
HARRY: “That’s actually true. We became friends because you wanted rides to Disney so I
suppose it’s poetic that we’re riding off into the sunset together, forever leaving Disney behind, as
the sun sets behind the peaks of the highest tower of the castle.”
LOUIS: “Great. That was the last scene of the book and now you spoiled it.”
HARRY: “It’s fine, I’m sure the author will come up with something equally cheesy for us to do.”
Endings
Chapter 129: Endings
1. INT. HARRY’S CAR — DAY
LOUIS: (passenger seat, feet up in the most Louis way possible, sipping on a large Starbucks
coffee, someone will be regretting that move later) “This feels twice as long as last time.”
ZAYN: (squished in the back with Niall and Liam) “That’s because Harry’s driving.”
HARRY: “There’s more traffic than usual. We should be there soon.”
NIALL: (starting off excited then trailing off) “The water should be warm, can’t wait to swim…”
LOUIS: (silence except for Louis’ slurping, everyone looking out of windows) “Man, the mood is
different. What are we doing, not roasting Liam Payne?”
NIALL: “We’re holding a moment of silence.”
LOUIS: “For the future death of Liam’s dignity?”
LIAM: “Hey, this Liam you’re talking about is right here and can hear you.”
LOUIS: “All the better. No fun without some public humiliation.”
LIAM: “Why don’t we roast you next, little boy?”
LOUIS: “You already did when you revealed how whipped I am. We’re back to you now.”
LIAM: “That wasn’t even a good roast. Those were all good things. We should roast you because
it’s your last day on earth.”
HARRY: “Don’t say that.”
LOUIS: “Disney isn’t earth but I can see how you might confuse it, seeing as you’ve been here for
eight years, old man.”
NIALL: “You’ve been here eight years? Shit.” (thinking, Larry moving has everyone thinking of
the future) “I’m going on like four, maybe five? Shit, that’s still so long.”
LOUIS: “Liam will die in Disney. His grave will be in Disney.”
HARRY: “That’s even more morbid.”
LIAM: “Tours could be here too. Why is your grave leaving us? It’s too good for the rest of our
graves?”
LOUIS: “I’m the oldest here.”
LIAM: “So?”
LOUIS: “My face isn’t under a mask. People can actually tell when I age.”
ZAYN: “God forbid children understand aging.”
LOUIS: “Plus, I’m opening the door for you all. I’m a trendsetter. Breaking the status quo. Soon
you all will find new things to do too.”
LIAM: “Shut your hell mouth.”
NIALL: (loud, talking over them, clearly has been trying to be heard for a while, dramatic)
“We’re holding a moment of silence for the death of our friendship.”
LIAM: “Oh.”
LOUIS: (silence falls among them again) “Wait, are you guys seriously holding a moment of
silence right now?”
LIAM: “No, it was just…heavy.”
NIALL: (pouting, half-joking, half serious) “You’re breaking all our hearts and you don’t even
care!”
HARRY: (concerned) “Guys…”
LOUIS: “I’m not leaving forever. It won’t be the death of our friendship.”
HARRY: “Yeah, we’ll come back from time to time. We’ll return. You’ll come visit. We will all
go on road trips.”
LIAM: “It will be the death. No more McDonalds fries. No more drunk Louis at the bar. No more
of my Disney life made miserable. What will I do? Actually enjoy my days?”
ZAYN: “Rejoice in knowing they probably have it worse, being in New York.”
NIALL: “Unlike you, I don’t enjoy my best friend’s suffering.”
LOUIS: “Aw, Niall, what a doll you are.”
NIALL: “An abandoned doll.”
LOUIS: “I can’t tell if you’re serious.”
ZAYN: “We’re not.”
LIAM: (at the same time) “We are!”
LOUIS: “Which one is it?”
NIALL: (real emotion now) “I don’t know, probably a bit of both. It’s a change…” (sighs) “It
won’t be the same.”
LOUIS: (sighs, actually taking it more seriously now) “It’ll be fine. We’re only moving a few
states away.”
ZAYN: “A few? More like a whole bunch.”
HARRY: “Let’s try to not be sad about this ahead of time.” (cheery) “We’re here to have fun.”
(collective groans from the back) “What? Is this not fun? Everyone will leave at some point.”
(even louder groans) “What?”
LOUIS: “Great, Hazza, that made it much better. Now they’re on suicide watch.”
LIAM: “Hazza…when will I have my Hazza?”
ZAYN: “When will I leave Disney?”
NIALL: “When will I become a relevant character to this plot again? I feel like I haven’t spoken
once in the last one hundred chapters?”
LIAM: (everyone looks at Niall) “That was a bit dramatic.”
NIALL: “It was. Sorry. I’m not good with farewells. I don’t know how Zayn is handling it so
well.”
ZAYN: (shrugs) “They’re not dying. The world is super connected. I’m happy for them.”
LIAM: “Well. I. For one. Am not.”
LOUIS: “I never knew you were this clingy, Liam. I’m flattered.”
LIAM: “You were my best friend.”
ZAYN: “Excuse you?”
NIALL: “Yeah, what are we, chopped liver?”
LIAM: “My other best friends. Now I’ll have two less best friends. My self worth is dependent on
my best friends. Everyone had a role in this story. It won’t be the same now. I’ll be missing my
nuisance and the gentle one that’s in love with the prince.”
HARRY: “Guys, we’re on our way to the beach. It’s not goodbye yet. It doesn’t have to be an
extended goodbye.”
NIALL: “Yes, it has. I have to get used to it. I start mourning a week ahead of time.”
LOUIS: “He does. He did this when we graduated too.”
LIAM: “Let us be sad, Hazza!”
LOUIS: (amused) “Take comfort in knowing the group chat will still be lit. We’ll have reunions.
You’ll come to our wedding. There’s lots to be done so quit whining.”
LIAM: “How will I get used to someone else being Hercules?”
LOUIS: “Thanks, I guess I can be replaced easily.”

LIAM: “Harry was Hercules. The pure reincarnation of the character.”
ZAYN: “You do know Hercules is a real person…”
NIALL: “Was he?”
HARRY: “You’ll get new friends after this, new faces to break in. That…doesn’t sound right.”
LOUIS: “We will all do our own thing and come back together eventually. We’re on a hiatus.”
NIALL: “Where?”
HARRY: “Who knows? All I know is in the future, we’ll end up together again in some shape of
form, the rest is to be determined. It’s the exciting part. Stop creating spoilers and let life happen.”
ZAYN: “When did he become a philosopher?”
LIAM: “Louis possessed him.”
2. EXT. BEACH — DUSK
LIAM: (holding five sleeping bags in his beefy arms, looking at Louis who is sat on a fold up
chair, eating marshmallows from a bag) “What is your majesty doing?”
LOUIS: (mouth full) “Supervising.”
PERRIE: (changing into a swimsuit) “Don’t finish all the marshmallows. They’re for tonight.”
LOUIS: (teasing) “Why are you even here, Perrie?”
PERRIE: “To give you a hard time obviously. And to make Zayn miserable with my presence.”
ZAYN: (under his breath) “Obviously.”
ELEANOR: “Be good, Zaynie.”
LIAM: (to Louis) “You think you might have it in you to help.”
LOUIS: (gasps, the contents of his mouth almost fall out) “How can you suggest such a thing,
Liam?”
SANDY: (working on the fire, blowing and struggling) “Yes, Liam, how can you suggest Louis
does any manual labor?”
LOUIS: “Thank you, Sandy. I too was horrified.”
LIAM: “But he’s not doing anything.” (whining) “I’ve made five trips already.”
LOUIS: “No one asked about your life, Liam. Please don’t share unless asked.”
NIALL: (putting up the tents) “Louis is special today. It’s his last trip. He deserves to be treated
royally.”
ELEANOR: (shaking sand out of her boots) “What about Harry then? He’s helping.”
NIALL: (looks at Harry who is attempting to help with the tent but only managing to make more
work for the rest of them) “Is he?”
HARRY: “I think I have it, guys.” (holding a plastic rod) “It never needed this piece, who knew?”
(Niall looking at the camera like The Office) “Anyone else need help?”
LOUIS: “Nope. Come hang out with me, Harry. I am lonely.”
LIAM: “You’re doing nothing.”
LOUIS: “I’m not doing nothing. I’m making sure everyone else does things. I’m the manager of
this camp. If it weren’t for me, you all would be slacking. So get back to work, tent person number
three. Go be useful.”
3. EXT. BEACH — NIGHT
NIALL: (everyone sitting around a campfire, toasting marshmallows) “We’ll miss you, guys.”
LOUIS: (in between Harry’s legs, cuddling, relaxed, cheeks pink and warm, smiling) “We’ll miss
you back, fam.”
JOSH: “So many crazy things have happened on these trips because of you two.”
LIAM: (correcting) “Have happened in life.”
ZAYN: “More precisely because of Louis being adamant on not being gay.”
LOUIS: “That’s fair.” (too early to go over memories, but too late to pretend that nothing is gonna
change, overall a depressing conversation to have but necessary) “You’ll have new stories…”
JOSH: (chuckling to himself) “I was expecting something crazy to happen today, like I got to see
some abs or some ass, or Eleanor dying.”
SANDY: “Same. But I guess…” (shrugs) “Everyone’s thinking about stuff.”
LOUIS: (silent nods all around, quiet existing, Louis interrupts the shared meditation) “We
should sing.”
HARRY: “Sing what?”
LOUIS: “Anything.” (to Sandy) “Didn’t you bring your guitar?” (Sandy nods) “Then let’s sing
songs. Easier than talking, I think, all considered. Or we could write new songs. Let’s pen in an
album right here in honor of last times.”
ELEANOR: “I can’t sing so I’ll be the designated fangirl.”
LOUIS: (amused) “Cool. Anyone else wanna sit out?” (everyone else shakes their head, grinning)
“Ok, then. Who has a suggestion?”
4. EXT. BEACH — MIDNIGHT
LOUIS: (feet being lapped by the water) “Is there a beach in New York?”
HARRY: “Coney Island… if you’re into that sort of thing. But it will be cold.”
LOUIS: “That’s fine. I miss being able to wear jackets and my own clothes to work. I have a
fabulous taste in jackets.”
HARRY: “It can’t possibly match mine.” (sits on the sand) “Wanna sit down for a little before we
go to bed?”
LOUIS: (looks behind him to where Harry sits) “In a bit.” (walks deeper in the water, until the
level is at his calves) “Is everyone else asleep?”
HARRY: “I think. They were all kind of lulled to bed from the singing.” (smiles at the memory)
“That was a good idea. It was better than talking in a loop about how things will change.”
LOUIS: “Things will change…” (admitting) “I’ll miss this.”
HARRY: “The beach?”
LOUIS: “Yeah, and the people, the activity. It became sort of like a safe haven for us. We came
here when life got too much and it helped us see our priorities again. It was peaceful. I don’t wanna
lose that part of our relationship.”
HARRY: “We won’t. We’ll find new places, new things to do.”
LOUIS: “I know…” (thoughtful, not exactly sad, just wondering, nostalgic) “It’ll be different.
New. That’s scary.”
HARRY: (letting him talk about it for the first time, having avoided it all day with the others) “It
is.”
LOUIS: “Are you scared?”
HARRY: “I’m nervous as hell to be doing something else, with so many new people, something I
sucked at last time. At least you won’t be getting grades and homework.”
LOUIS: “You’ll do great, baby. I’m so proud of you.”
HARRY: “You’ll do even better. Besides, there has to be a part of you that enjoys the idea of no
more long days in the sun.”
LOUIS: “That’s practically every part of me.” (walking back to Harry, slumping next to him,
leaning his head on Harry’s shoulders) “It’s what Niall said, I guess, this whole big thing about
endings. They get you choked up, like you’re happy to go on but also sad that it won’t be the same.
Bittersweet. This book is closing, another one is starting, it’s all very grand and dramatic. Kinda of
like a movie.”
HARRY: “Do you regret taking this step with me?”
LOUIS: “Never. It’s the single best decision I’ve made.”
HARRY: (laying back on the sand to look at the sky) “Then everything else will work out.”
5. INT. TENT — LATER (MATTIE’S SUBMISSION FEAT. JAY)
LOUIS: (inside the tiny tent, laying down on top of his sleeping bag) “Remember that night on the
beach?”
HARRY: (stripping off his pants to get ready for bed) “Tonight? Which one? We have many.”
LOUIS: (chewing his bottom lip) “Remember before… this happened, our relationship, the very
first time we were here together?” (swallows thickly) “When I told how easy it would be to date
you?”
HARRY: (turns to look at Louis, eyebrow raised, amused) “What, taking it back already?”
LOUIS: (shaking his head) “You are. I just…was thinking about that. That’s all.”
HARRY: (shoving his clothes in the bag, wearing nothing but boxers to bed, sits on his sleeping
bag again) “Are you sure that’s all?”
LOUIS: “Yeah, why?”
HARRY: “Sounds like something’s on your mind.”
LOUIS: “Well, something is but…” (playing it overdramatic casual—if there is such a thing?)
“You’d never go for it.”
HARRY: (provoked) “Is that so?”
LOUIS: (holding back a smirk) “It is so. It’s too out there for you.”
HARRY: “Try me.”
LOUIS: “Oh, I don’t know. It’s…”
HARRY: “Lou, come on.” (pouting) “Please?”
LOUIS: “It’s stupid…” (not nearly as confident as he seemed before) “I just wanted to make the
observation that…”
HARRY: “That what?”
LOUIS: (avoiding looking at him, softly) “I’m…I’m ready.”
HARRY: “Ready for what?” (joking) “ The end?”
LOUIS: (embarrassed) “Don’t make this difficult. I’m ready. You’re ready. We’re here, where it
all started so let’s finish what we started. If you catch what I’m throwing. Let’s do that, catcher
pitcher stuff. In real life.”
HARRY: (confused but noticing this is important to Louis) “Give me a hint, darling. I’m not
understanding.”
LOUIS: “I—I…” (motioning randomly with his hands between them) “Let’s do this.”
HARRY: (starting to understand, debating, one of his hands rests on Louis’ thigh) “Babe, are you
sure?”
LOUIS: (suddenly bolder, straddles Harry’s lap, facing him) “Yes. Now is the time. Now is a
good time. What better way to end this trip? What better way to start the next one? It is time.
There’s nothing stopping us.”
HARRY: “Except for, you know, everyone else sleeping out there and the fact that we’re in a
tent?”
LOUIS: “I thought you liked it like that.”
HARRY: “I…enjoy it, yes.”
LOUIS: “So? Is it so insane to suggest?”
HARRY: (interested but unsure) “I don’t want you to push yourself out of your comfort zone just
because I’m a kinky fuck.”
LOUIS: “Kinky fuck, that’s what we’re talking about. Let’s have one of those.”
HARRY: (teased, not tempted) “Lou…”
LOUIS: “What? You did this before.” (pouting adorably just to get Harry riled up ) “You don’t
wanna try with me?”
HARRY: “No. Of course, I do. It’s the thing I want most in life.”
LOUIS: (dramatic) “Then? Why are you rejecting me after I was so very brave?”
HARRY: “I’m not. I’m just…it’s big, your first time…”
LOUIS: (interjecting) “With a guy. My first time with a guy. I’m no virgin. You don’t have to
worry about me getting super attached to you or like trapping you in my venus fly trap mungina to
get myself impregnated.”
HARRY: “Is that what heterosexuals do?”
LOUIS: “On the daily. But lets not talk about them or my boner will die.”
HARRY: (becoming harder—get it HARD-er—to say no, you could say An Offer He Can’t Refuse
™ ) “Isn’t it a big leap from not doing things to doing super kinky things?”
LOUIS: “If you think this is super kinky, I have some news for you.”
HARRY: (moan-whine hybrid) “But…but are you sur—?”
LOUIS: “Yes.”
HARRY: (verbally debating, bodily somewhat decided, hands wrapped around Louis’ waist,
slowly sliding down to feel his bum) “I don’t want to rush this. I want it to be good for you. It
doesn’t have to be now. It won’t change the dynamic of our relationship. You need to kn—”
LOUIS: (impatient) “I know, I know.” (raises hips and bum off of Harry’s lap, lowers them back
down slowly, grinding down, getting comfortable, trying to feel Harry’s boner with his butt—stop
sinful hands, stop) “Like this, right?”
HARRY: (sexually frustrated, grabs Louis’ face in his hands, panicked more about the fact that he
might not be able to resist much longer, if this happens, all bets are out the window) “Louis, listen
to me. Think about this first. Are you sure you want this? Like this? Here? With me? All those are
important questions and I want to make sure the answer to all of them is yes.”
LOUIS: (insistent) “It is yes. All of it. All of the above, yes. I have thought about it. What do you
think I was doing all day when you all were collecting wood? I was hiding my wood. For you. For
your ass. Especially in that butt-in-the-air-making-fire position. I was scheming. It was hard work,
I had to sit through it. But, I made it. And I decided. And it’s this.” (starts placing soft kisses on
Harry’s jaw, hand cradling the back of his head, tips of his fingers in Harry’s short hair, missing
the length but finding the current state sexy nonetheless) “I think it’s appropriate. Iconic almost.
This beach has made us.” (nipping the side of Harry’s lip playfully) “And it’s not exactly public
indecency. We’re covered. So we still have that to look forward to in the future.”
HARRY: “I can’t argue with that.” (kisses Louis deeply, Louis whimpers when Harry bites his
tongue) “You always get your way.” ( Louis goes in for another kiss but Harry doesn’t react,
thinking) “So… um, since this is your first time…would you like to top? Like, being on bottom is
painful the first time. And it might just, uh…” (blushing, the perverted filthy-minded curly is
BLUSHING) “It might make it easier for you to top this time. Not that you have to. This is your
plan so I’m following instructions.” (sighs sharply) “I’m shit at explaining this.”
LOUIS: (cups Harry’s jaw in one hand) “No, I understand. I’d like that. We can try it that way. It
might be more…learned for me.”
HARRY: (nods nervously) “Okay. Yeah, okay.”
LOUIS: “But like, I’m not that learned since I haven’t exactly had the best practice…”
HARRY: “Ok…”
LOUIS: “I’m just saying, I’m probably kind of shit but like I’ll improve.”
HARRY: (amused) “My style of foreplay.”
LOUIS: “No, no. It’s not foreplay. It’s like pre-foreplay. Like the contract signing. I’m saying I’ll
try but like don’t become massively disappointed in me.”
HARRY: “I highly doubt that’s possible.”
LOUIS: “I know you like bottoming so it would like suck…to suck at it.”
HARRY: “I don’t think you will.”
LOUIS: “Ok, but let’s leave the options open.”
HARRY: (chuckles) “They’re open.”
LOUIS: “Don’t laugh at me.”
HARRY: “I’m not. I think you’re adorable.”
LOUIS: “I’m not.”
HARRY: “You are. You’re adorable thinking I’ll be able to resist you. Even the thought of you in
me has me cumming. So I don’t think enjoying it will be a problem.”
LOUIS: “Ok, good. I’m glad we had this talk.” (drops back on the ground, winces when he
remembers it’s not a high quality, soft bed) “Let’s do the foreplay now.” (Harry nods, Louis sits
there, unsure of what to do next, legs spread slightly, feet flat on the ground) “Where do we start?”
HARRY: (laying next to him on his side so he can kiss Louis’ nerves away) “What do you want?”
LOUIS: “I want us to stop making this awkward.” (trying to convince himself) “It needs to be easy.
Let’s make it easy. Stop talking about the T’s and C’s and get started.”
HARRY: (murmuring against Louis’ neck) “Okay, yeah, let’s…” (starts kissing Louis’ neck) “Just
enjoy…”
LOUIS: (eyes closed, hands in Harry’s hair, baring his neck, not quite relaxed yet) “Harry…I
don’t…”
HARRY: (pulls back, looks at Louis to make sure everything is still ok, leans in and starts
nuzzling his neck) “That’s okay. We’re doing this together, trying new things…” (starts kissing and
nibbling Louis’ ear gently) “Just us. Alone.”
LOUIS: “Okay…mmh, okay. Just like before.” (moans softly, letting himself enjoy the touches)
“Kind of like before. Something new, but kind of old. An adventure deeper than the—” (quiet
gasp) “The first time.” (laughs nervously) “I really need to shut the hell up. I’m ruining the mood.”
HARRY: (climbs on top of Louis, slowly lowers hips against Louis, pulls back to gauge reaction)
“You’re nervous. That’s okay.”
LOUIS: “Right.” (feels their crotches rub together, bucks hips up the slightest bit) “This…this is
good.” (over talking) “I’m good with this.”
HARRY: (kisses Louis softly, slowly, murmurs) “Good, perfect.” (kiss for several more minutes,
pulls away from Louis, holding his face) “You’re so beautiful.”
LOUIS: (flushed from the making out, breathless) “Thank you?” (Harry smiles, Louis looks down
in between their bodies, briefs make it very easy to spot where everything is and how to align it just
right, and how to make it feel good, Louis raises his hips slightly to make contact, teasing Harry
with slow, circular rubs, shifts under Harry) “Harry…”
HARRY: (rocking against Louis, they have a good rhythm going, kisses Louis again, somewhat
harder this time, more pulling of hair and locking of mouths and saliva sticking to lips, tongues
trashing, teeth biting, Harry pulls back, eyes dilated, panting) “Do you—do you have stuff?”
LOUIS: (understanding but teasing) “Stuff?”
HARRY: “Like…condoms? Lube, at least? Like I said last time…?” (sees Louis’ mock innocent
face, sighs) “Oh god, I don’t…I mean, I’m used to it but like, it’s been a bit…but fuck it, I’m not
stopping so like if my ass will hurt, let it hurt.”
LOUIS: “Truly inspirational… I have stuff. It’s in my bag, left pocket.”
HARRY: (surprised) “Really?”
LOUIS: “I told you I’ve been thinking of this.”
HARRY: “Did you take me here to woo me?”
LOUIS: “No, I just carry the stuff everywhere, hoping for an opening, one of the anal kind
preferably.”
HARRY: “True fuckboy. I’ll be back. Hold that thought.” (peels his body away, already somewhat
sweaty, goddman tents, gets up, boxers tenting, heads to the corner to where their bags are, shoves
his hand in the pocket) “Let’s see what we have here.”
LOUIS: (small, staring at Harry) “I hope they work. They’re…normal? The usual?” (Harry has
the bottle and condoms in his hand, looking at them, different colors for different functions, look
for A like Anal) “They work?”
HARRY: “Perfect.” (kneels back on the bed, sees Louis looking at him, visibly unsure, biting the
shit out of his bottom lip, already pink and swollen from their previous kisses) “Hey.” (settles
between Louis’ legs again, places a hand on Louis’ knee, caressing it with his fingers) “You sure
you want to do this?”
LOUIS: “Yes! I want this. I promise.”
HARRY: (sets the condom and lube down beside him, falls back on Louis, wraps him in his arms,
kisses him again softly) “Okay. Don’t overthink it, babe.” (starts kissing down Louis chest) “You’re
gorgeous. You’ll do fine.”
LOUIS: (closing his eyes, leaning back to enjoy the worshipping, Harry reaches a nipple, Louis
jerks a little, might never get used to the feeling, voice trembling in pleasure and anticipation)
“You—you’re going to have to teach me.”
HARRY: (pauses on Louis’ hipbone, licking around it, kissing and biting it) “I’ll teach you
everything.” (looks down at Louis’ boxers, slides hands to Louis’ hips) “Can I?”
LOUIS: (pauses, eventually nods, voice barely above a whisper) “Yes.” (more definite) “You
can.”
HARRY: (grasps the waistband of Louis’ boxers, slowly starts pulling them down, smiling at the
reveal) “My love.” (Louis lifts his hips, Harry pulls the boxers all the way down, both staring at
the scars, continues to remove them from Louis’ legs, throws them aside, fingers the scars softly)
“My sweet boy.” (sees Louis lying there, vulnerable, naked, but not necessarily scared) “I love
you.” (runs his hands up Louis’ sides, impulsively buries his head between Louis’ thighs, kissing
the scars, muffled) “I want to make you feel so good.”
LOUIS: (voice shaky) “Plea—sensitive.”
HARRY: “Mmm…” (kisses farther up Louis’ thigh, licking and nipping a little bit, reaches the
area where the groin meets thigh) “I wanna show you how good you are.”
LOUIS: (feverish) “I don’t—I’m not—”
HARRY: “If you don’t like it at any point, all you have to do is say stop.”
LOUIS: “What? No, keep going.”
HARRY: (kisses up Louis’ hard-on, murmurs) “Alright.”
LOUIS: “Boxers.” (runs his hands through Harry’s hair, pulling on the locks so Harry detaches
his lips from Louis’ hot skin to look at him) “Take them off too.”
HARRY: (nods and clumsily tries to take off his boxers while still sitting, ends up having to sit on
his bare ass and pull the fabric away, kick it off where it sticks to his foot, Louis watches him,
shaking his head in fond and amusement) “Are you ready?” (Louis nods, waits silently) “Ok, ok…”
(settles back down in between Louis’ legs, erection now free, almost as hard as Louis, reaches for
the condom, hands shaking) “Do you want to do this yourself?”
LOUIS: “Um…” (conflicted, nervous) “No. Y—you go ahead.”
HARRY: “Okay.” (tears the condom wrapper with his teeth, gently pulls the condom out, figuring
out the direction, holds it in one hand, rubs his other hand up and down Louis’ shaft a couple
times to prepare him before slowly rolling the condom on Louis’ erection, pinching the top of it)
“All set.”
LOUIS: (breathing unsteady) “Hazza.”
HARRY: (sees Louis needs guidance) “How ‘bout I start lying on my stomach?”
LOUIS: “Does it work that way?” (clears his throat at the stupid question) “I mean is that good?
For you? Do you want it like that?”
HARRY: “It’s a little harder than the hands-and-knees routine, but it’s better. It’s good.” (lies
down on his stomach, adjusts as best as he can on the sleeping bag but his hips and elbows will
probably bruise tomorrow, very inconspicuous, looks back at Louis who hasn’t moved at all)
“Ready.”
LOUIS: (fumbling with lube, finally opening bottle) “Yes.”
HARRY: (voice raspy, seductive) “That wasn’t a question.”
LOUIS: “Oh.” (lubes up his erection, wipes his hand on his discarded boxers, positions himself
behind Harry, standing on his knees) “Like this?”
HARRY: (bracing himself, fisting chunks of fluffy sleeping bag) “Do what feels right, darling.”
LOUIS: (runs a hand down Harry’s back before spreading his cheeks gently, almost out of breath
at the sight, first time he’s been fully attracted to someone, much different than all the sex he has
had in his life, much too similar to all the sex he fantasized about having when he was younger, it’s
foreign and scary and very right, Louis lines himself up, using his hand to rub the tip of his dick
against Harry’s puckered hole) “Your wildest dreams are about to come true, Mr. Styles.”
HARRY: (laughs softly, breath hitching when Louis teases him, pushing in but not quite deep
enough to breach the tight muscle, Harry bites his lip to stop himself from gasping too much) “I
have…” (hiccup of breath) “Pretty high expectations.”
LOUIS: (hovering over Harry) “I wanna make you feel good…” (focusing on Harry’s ass, trying
to figure out how this will work, the position and everything, talking while distracted) “I love
everything about you.”
HARRY: “Lou?”
LOUIS: (looks up, startled) “Yeah?”
Harry: “You have to finger me first.” (reassuring) “Don’t worry.”
LOUIS: “Oh…like…like I did back then?” (grimaces, embarrassed, duh you idiot) “Sorry. I don’t
know…”
HARRY: “It’s okay. I can do it. Just has to be done so it doesn’t hurt too much when you start.
Practice round, prep.”
LOUIS: “No, no.” (getting the sense of it, reaches for lube) “I’ll do it. I’ve got it. I know how.”
HARRY: (settles back down again) “Okay.”
LOUIS: (lubes up his index and middle fingers, throws lube aside, runs middle finger over
Harry’s hole softly) “This might sting a bit…” (gently presses in, slow, inching inside millimeter by
millimeter, Harry tenses around him first before relaxing and making it easier for Louis’ entire
finger to slip inside) “Are you good, curly?” (Harry nods, hums, can’t quite form words yet, Louis
continues working his finger all the way into Harry, still slow, moving it around) “Does it feel
good?
HARRY: (chuckles breathily, head hung low, sweat beading on his forehead) “It feels great.”
(moaning) “Lou…” (groans, moving his body to push back against Louis’ finger) “Feels
awesome…”
LOUIS: (pulls finger almost out, thrust back in faster, keeps rhythm, pressing everywhere he can
reach, still experimenting with it but clearly love the sight of it and the way Harry seems to want it,
more aroused than ever, boner standing practically upright) “That good, baby boy?”
HARRY: (moaning softly, muffled by his hand, he’s almost biting his own fingers to prevent from
making too much noise because you know, TENT) “Mm, so good. I want more…” (Louis teases
entrance with index finger, still thrusting middle in and out, getting the hang of it, more fluid in his
thrusting) “More. Please. I can take one more.”
LOUIS: (slows down, inserts second finger, both fully inside, has a taste of power now, control,
what having someone enjoy you feels like, what you can do to them) “Getting loose for me,
Hazza?”
HARRY: “Yes. All for you.”
LOUIS: (picks up the pace again, bolder, Harry shudders under him, rocks with him, muffles his
noises) “You want more?”
HARRY: “I want you. Inside me.”
LOUIS: “Not yet.” (Harry whimpers, Louis continues to finger him until he is stretched out,
looser, more eager for contact, getting restless and impatient with his jerks, Harry’s erection
rubbing against the sleeping bag, wetting it in pre-cum, Louis pulls his fingers out, wipes them on
his thigh, leaving tracks of shiny lube behind, kisses one of Harry’s buttcheeks) “Ready, darling?”
HARRY: “I’ve never wanted you more.”
LOUIS: (spreads some new lube on his erection, wipes the excess one on his fingers on Harry’s
hole, uses his hands to spread Harry’s butt cheeks gently, lines up again, much more in his
element now, the tip of his dick pokes at Harry’s entrance) “I’ll go as slow as you need me.”
(exhales, prepares himself) “ Look at me.”
HARRY: (looks over shoulder) “Yeah?”

LOUIS: (slowly starting to press inside, guiding himself in with one hand, tip inside, the other
hand gripping one of Harry’s butt cheeks so hard, red finger marks appear on the pale skin) “I
want you to look at me as I do this.”
HARRY: “Okay.” (maintains eye contact with Louis, staring up at him lovingly) “Go for it.”
LOUIS: (an inch inside now, gasps, lowers himself on his elbows on top of Harry, let’s go of his
dick to support his body, pushes another inch, Harry shudders under him at the intrusion, head
dropping on the sleeping bag, he hisses then moans then grunts, unclear what emotions he’s
feeling, Louis kisses between Harry’s shoulder blades, whispering unintelligible words to him)
“I’m sorry, baby, almost…” (kisses Harry’s tense back again, holds him closer in his arms, as he
continues to push inside) “Let me know if it’s too much.”
HARRY: (eyes squeezed shut, breathing deeply, obvious it hurts but he’s being brave about it)
“You’re good. It’s good…don’t stop.”
LOUIS: (almost all the way in, unsure what to say) “I’m almost…”
HARRY: (through grit teeth) “Almost?”
LOUIS: (fully plunged in, rests his body on Harry’s, panting, for the first time letting himself feel
everything racing through him, deeply pleasurable, presses his face on Harry’s shoulder blade,
whispers) “I’m in all the way.”
HARRY: (trembling lightly, periodically clenching and relaxing, trying to get in the zone) “Ok…”
LOUIS: (enjoying it, almost too much, but worried he’ll do something to ruin it so frozen on the
spot) “Still good?”
HARRY: “Y—yeah. Just…one second.”
LOUIS: (stays put, forcing his hips to not move, despite the reflex to keep thrusting) “Take your
time.” (Harry tightens around him instinctually, Louis moans, thrusting his hips in once before
stopping again) “Sorry, love. Sorry.”
HARRY: “You’re okay.” (exhaling, inhaling, exhaling, inhaling, staring at a spot on the tent’s
wall intently) “It’s good. I just need a little time.” (shifts a little to get more comfortable on the
hard ground) “To get used to it again.”
LOUIS: “I know.” (kissing the back of Harry’s neck) “You feel so good. You’re so sexy. I can get
off like this, just staring at you.” (sucks on Harry’s neck, skin reddening) “Feeling you all around
me.”
HARRY: (smiling, wincing) “Don’t do that. Not just yet.” (clipped in pain) “I’m not done with you
yet.”
LOUIS: “Don’t worry.”
HARRY: “Try now.”
LOUIS: “Hm?”
HARRY: “Just a little bit. Move a little bit.”

LOUIS: “Ok.” (slowly pulls out an inch, lowers himself back in) “Like this?”
HARRY: “Mhmm. More. Again.”
LOUIS: (repeats the motion a few more times, every time inching a little bit farther, stretching
Harry out gently) “Good?”
HARRY: (moans softly, body more relaxed now, letting Louis have more access and control) “So
good, yeah.”
LOUIS: “So good? I haven’t even started yet, baby. Too easily to impressed.” (Harry chuckles,
easing the tense atmosphere, Louis smiles at him) “I’ll show you much better.”
HARRY: “Do it.”
LOUIS: “I will.”
HARRY: “Now. Do it now.”
LOUIS: “Sure?”
HARRY: “I’m good. I’m ready.”
LOUIS: (kisses the nape of Harry’s neck once) “Okay.” (slowly pulls out almost all the way,
lowers himself back in, Harry sighs, nodding at him to keep going, again, eliciting a more
pleasurable sigh this time, by the third time, Harry seems to be truly enjoying it and not faking it
for Louis’ sake, Louis picks up rhythm, still incredibly slow but full thrusts in) “Harry…F—fuck,
so tight. Mm—God. Is it good for you?”
HARRY: “Harder.” (whimpering, moving underneath Louis, raising his hips to change the angle,
when Louis thrusts in this time, Harry shuts his eyes) “Come on. You’re not going to hurt me. I
promise.” (Louis gives him a quick thrust as an example, Harry moans loudly, causing Louis to
wrap and arm around him and cover his mouth, grinning from ear to ear) “Sorry, sorry. It’s sooo
good.” (Louis smirks, Harry pushes his hips back against Louis, urging him to continue, starts
rutting against the sheets when Louis doesn’t obey) “Come on, please.” (Louis thrusts in once but
stops, teasing him, Harry’s practically begging) “Louis!”
LOUIS: “Ok, ok.” (feverish, picks up the pace, pulling farther out and almost slamming in,
rambling in time with his thrusts, without even really noticing or knowing what he’s saying, lost in
the sensation) “Feels so good, baby. Better than a girl. So much better. So much tighter.” (settling
into a quick, desperate rhythm that only someone with soccer player thighs can accomplish) “I
love you so much.”
HARRY: “Lo—love you too.” (flushed, desperate for more, pushing hips back in time to Louis’
thrusts) “You’re a natural.” (Louis pulls his hair, Harry leans back into it, eyes closed, cheeks
pink, mouth open, drooly) “Oh yeah.”
LOUIS: (slows down a bit, Harry whines, Louis seems more deliberate with his thrusting,
changing his angle slightly with every thrust in, exploring, looking for that special place, Harry’s
impatient) “Shh, baby, I got you. Trying to make it better.”
HARRY: “It’s good.” (Louis slams hips down, finally getting it, brushing against Harry’s
prostate, Harry moans loudly, blushes when he realizes how loud he’s being, where is the stealth
boy? THIS IS A TENT) “Right there. Do that again.”
LOUIS: (teasing) “Do what again?”
HARRY: (eyes screwed shut, face down) “Louis…” (desperate) “Please.”
LOUIS: (smiles down at Harry) “Anything, love.” (runs hand down Harry’s sweaty, muscled
back, starts moving again, sweet and gentle but enough) “Anything for you.”
HARRY: (overcome with pleasure and love, feels Louis’ hot breath on his back) “Lou…this—this
is so good. So m-much more.” (Louis picks up the pace, turned on by Harry’s reaction) “Oh
god…”
LOUIS: (hands on Harry’s mid-back, elbows locked straight, holding his upper body up) “Fuck,
Harry. I’m not gonna last long like this.” (bashes against Harry’s prostate repeatedly, each slam
harder than the last one, staring down at him, beautiful, nude, blushed, all his) “You’re mine. I
want everyone to know that…to hear you, how much you like this.”
HARRY: “Yeah, yeah…” (unable to make sense, getting closer to his climax, whimpers with each
thrust, breathy) “Ah, ah, ah…”
LOUIS: (noticing the way Harry’s hand moves underneath Harry’s body to touch his dick) “Not
yet, Haz.”
HARRY: (not stopping, touching himself) “Please?”
LOUIS: (still thrusting into Harry, rolling hips with every thrust, frantic) “Let me. Then you can.”
HARRY: (sobbing quietly) “I can’t—for too long—I can’t…”
LOUIS: (builds up pace, teasing) “Think you’re in control now?”
HARRY: (short, wet laugh in between his gasps and moans) “You…you are. Make me—not
gonna last much longer.”
LOUIS: “Me neither, just lemme…” (trails off, focusing on the way Harry tightens around him,
back arched, eyes closed) “I’m…I’m…” (can’t finish, too busy groaning, thrusting a few more
times, if Harry had been on his knees, he’d have been knocked off balance by how hard Louis is
thrusting, lost in need and passion before coming, pulling Harry’s hair, riding out his orgasm)
“Fuck, Harry!”
HARRY: (violently touching himself to Louis’ moans and thrusts) “Yeah, babe.” (Louis thrusts
hard once more time, hitting Harry’s prostate full on, Harry orgasms, shooting over his stomach
and the sleeping bag) “Ah… ah, ah—Louis, fuck! ” (overcome with pleasure, thighs shaking with
the release, Louis still riding him sloppily, slowing down as well) “Shit.” (pant that turns into a
chuckle) “Holy shit.”
LOUIS: (slows down to a stop, pulls out gently, wincing, looks at the filled condom) “Nothing
holy about this, I’m afraid.” (takes the condom off and ties the top, throwing it on the ground
before collapsing next to Harry, breathless and covered in a sheen of sweat) “That was fucking
fun.”
HARRY: “Yeah…” (still trying to catch his breath) “Petition to do it again.”

LOUIS: (laughing) “Petition to make it our full time job.”
HARRY: (grabs the discarded boxers and wipes his stomach and the splotches of cum with it)
“How many cities do you think heard us?”
LOUIS: “All of them. All the cities.”
HARRY: “Fair assumption.” (throwing the boxers aside and laying on his back next to Louis) “I’ll
prepare myself for humiliation tomorrow.”
LOUIS: “The walk of shame.” (smug) “If you can even walk after that.”
HARRY: “They will hate us!”
LOUIS: “It’s fine. We’re leaving soon anyway, never to see these people again. How could we
have not have them suffer through our awesome sex. They might have lived the rest of their lives
asking themselves, do Harry and Louis have better sex than us? Yes, the answer is yes and now
they know.”
Epilogue
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Chapter 130: Epilogue
1. INT. SIMON’S OFFICE — DAY
SIMON: (sliding sheets of paper over to Louis who is standing in front of Simon’s desk) “Just a
few last signatures and you’re officially unemployed.”
LOUIS: (scanning it with his eyes before signing) “What’s this about?”
SIMON: “The usual. Not doing anything too crazy after you leave us.”
LOUIS: “Like drugs?”
SIMON: “Well, we all know how well that went when you were here…”
LOUIS: (signs the last of the papers) “I can’t believe it.”
SIMON: (gathers the sheets in front of him, straightens them) “If you miss us terribly, you know
where we’ll be.”
LOUIS: “Return to the be hired by the devil, you mean? I’ll pass.”
SIMON: (more serious) “I mean it. If you ever need anything… the family spiel is real here. We
don’t just say it to be on brand. We do care about each and every one of you. Once a Disney
employee, always a Disney employee.”
LOUIS: “Even if I go have a cocaine and sex scandal?”
SIMON: “Even more then. You’ll be hearing from my lawyers non-stop. We’ll really be family.
One of the dysfunctional ones.” (stands up, extends his hand, Louis shakes it) “It was great having
you.”
LOUIS: (joking) “You don’t have to lie, uncle Simon.”
SIMON: “I’m not. As tough as you were to handle on bad days, you brought something to this
park, a sort of spark I hadn’t seen in years. You brought the cast together. The kids loved you and
will certainly miss you. We will too.”
LOUIS: “I’ll miss everyone as well. It’ll be hard adjusting to life without a ton of people in your
business.”
SIMON: “Right, right.” (nodding, Simon, misty-eyed?? clears his throat) “Now go wreck havoc in
our other branch. I should warn them.”
LOUIS: “Will do.”

SIMON: “If you ever need stellar recommendation letter, I’m a phone call away.”
LOUIS: (joking) “You know anyone on Broadway?”
SIMON: “I can make a few calls.”
LOUIS: (smiles) “Thanks, Simon. For everything. For giving me the job in the first place even
though I looked like a bum when I applied here. Thank you.” (walks towards the door but doesn’t
leave, turns around, smiling bigger) “So?”
SIMON: “So what?”
LOUIS: “You usually stop me before I go for some last minute, fatherly advice that I’ll surely
ignore.”
SIMON: “Oh. Hmm.. Let me think.” (after a pause) “I guess, I have nothing. You finally seem
happy and that was probably the greatest part of having you, seeing you grow to your full
potential.”
LOUIS: “Oh, Simon, you’ll make me shed tears with this cheesiness. Is this in the Disney
rulebook, saying goodbye to employees in some cliche, empowering way?
SIMON: “It should be. This should be on Disney’s resume, saving broken souls.”
LOUIS: (touching his heart) “It’s true. I am broken.”
SIMON: “You were. You seem good now.”
LOUIS: (rolling his eyes) “All thanks to Disney. Song therapy works. Just put on the Classics CD
on repeat for a week and you’ll be a different kind of insane.”
SIMON: “Take care of yourself, Louis. And take care of that dork of yours. I’ll pretend to not hold
a grudge over you stealing one of our best employees. It’ll be a hassle replacing him. Think of all
the crying babies.”
LOUIS: (sarcastic) “Everyone in this place makes me feel so treasured and appreciated.”
SIMON: “You are, you are. You both were. You’ll go down as one of our best duos. Wall of
fame. Come back for an all inclusive honeymoon on the house.”
LOUIS: “You’d be dumb to think I won’t take you up on that, old man. Start saving money
because we’ll be back in no time to spend it all. I want the king suite. And fast-pass tickets to every
ride.”
2. INT. HARRY’S ROOM — MEANWHILE
ZAYN: (holding one side of a box down while Harry tapes the top of it shut) “Is this all of it?”
HARRY: “I think there’s one more—the bedsheets one there, on the floor. Then we’re done.
Thanks giving me a hand.”
ZAYN: “Will it fit in your car?”

HARRY: “It should be fine. We’re not using the back anyway so we’ll squeeze it all in.”
ZAYN: (nods, stares at the striped walls as Harry works on the box, the room looks like any other
one now, a blank hotel room with no past and no history) “It looks so different.”
HARRY: (chuckles) “It needs a deep scrub before the next person moves in.”
ZAYN: “I wonder who it’ll be.”
HARRY: “I think about that too… how they won’t know anything about what happened here. It
might be families. It might turn into a guest room. Who knows?”
ZAYN: “Doubtful, they have all the cast stay in one section. It’ll be some other confused, young
fool, ready to get his life together.”
HARRY: “Was that me?”
ZAYN: (lost in thoughts, memories) “Yeah… You were young and definitely confused.”
HARRY: (stops his work to look at Zayn seriously) “Thank you.”
ZAYN: “For what?”
HARRY: “Everything. I haven’t told you this before—”
ZAYN: (trying to not get too emotional about it) “You probably have.”
HARRY: “No, I don’t think so.” (touching Zayn’s hand, that’s on top of the box) “I don’t think
I’ve ever told you how much you saved my life by bringing me here. I was in a horrible spot and
thanks to you, I can have this better chance, this second chance at love, at school, at everything. I
don’t think I can ever tell you enough.”
ZAYN: “You did most of it yourself.” (almost sniffling) “And I’m proud of you. I know you’ll do
everything right this time around.” (quieter) “I just hope we keep in touch. I will miss you.”
HARRY: “I’ll miss you too. It will be different living without you. You’ll always be my best
friend.”
ZAYN: “I better be your best man too.”
HARRY: (teasing) “Ugh, tough. You’ll steal the show if you’re standing next to me with your
perfect face.”
ZAYN: “Please.” (picks up the last open box and sets it on the bed so Harry can tape it shut) “I
was denied that opportunity once so I better have it now.”
HARRY: “We’re taking it slow.” (Zayn gives him a look) “Well, not that slow but not that fast.
We’ll see. Let’s see how I do with school first.”
ZAYN: “You’ll do great. You seem ready now. Don’t screw it up. Enjoy New York how you were
supposed to ages ago.”
HARRY: “I will.”
3. EXT. PARKING — DAY
LIAM: (helping Harry and Zayn stack boxes in a way that makes sense, it’s like Tetris in a car) “I
don’t think this is gonna happen…”
HARRY: “It will. Just um, position it on its side.”
ZAYN: “Are you sure there’s nothing breakable here.”
HARRY: “Nah, most are clothes anyway.”
LIAM: (pushing the box in) “Almost. Just… get in there.”
NIALL: (observing them) “You have enough snacks for the road?”
HARRY: (having just managed to fit the box in, slams the trunk shut) “Yeah, I think so. You gave
us more than enough. We’ll stop on the way if we run out.”
ELEANOR: (sighing at the sight) “This is so sad.” (hugs Harry, mock sobbing in his chest) “You
were my favorite. Who will I fantasize about in the shower now?”
HARRY: (hugging, patting her back, consoling) “There, there. I have a feeling the next Hercules
will be your Hercules. You might not have to fantasize anymore. He’ll just be in the shower with
you.”
ELEANOR: (moving away to stand next to the other boys, lingering around and waiting, sad but
smiling) “Let’s hope because I can’t be single anymore. I have seen the light and I want it for
myself.”
LOUIS: (running up to them, bag on his back, smiling and screeching) “I am free, fuckers. The
freest I have ever been. The bird has landed, the bird has landed.” (tackles Harry from behind) “I
never thought I’d see the day! It’s here. It’s done. Let’s set this resort on fire, watch it burn.”
HARRY: “You already did that once.” (smiles at him) “All done?”
LOUIS: “Yup. I have signed off. I am officially no longer a slave of the Mouse.” (to the rest of
them) “Be jealous, slaves.”
LIAM: “We are.”
LOUIS: (looking at the packed car) “Everything fit then?”
LIAM: “Just barely.”
LOUIS: “Both rooms are empty?”
ZAYN: “Yup. We double-checked everything. If anything’s missing, we’ll send it to you. Just
give us your new address.”
LIAM: “Yes, please, I have to send my fan mail somewhere. All my Larry fanfics and fan art.”
LOUIS: “We need to secure a place first but—”

ZAYN: “You don’t have a place to stay?”
HARRY: “We’re winging it. We’re seeing a few places when we get there but we’re not too
pressed.” (wrapping an arm around Louis) “Lou is thinking of vacationing anyway.”
LIAM: “What?! But you guys were in England like a week ago, do you ever stop and work and
suffer, like the rest of us?”
HARRY: “Never. We’re hashtag blessed.”
ELEANOR: “Where are you thinking of going?”
HARRY: “I don’t know. See the rest of America while we have the car and the freedom?”
ELEANOR: “That sounds awesome.”
LOUIS: (hands on his waist, looking around) “So this is it then?”
ZAYN: (nodding) “This is it.”
NIALL: “I’m gonna cry.”
LOUIS: (hugging him) “Please don’t. We bros don’t cry. Not in public anyway.” (hugs Liam next)
“If you ever need someone to date, Tigger, Eleanor is there.”
ELEANOR: “He speaks truth.”
LOUIS: (hugging Zayn) “I have always hated you and today, nothing has changed.”
ZAYN: (smirking) “You stole my speech.” (patting his back) “Be good to him now. Be there for
each other.”
NIALL: “Nothing sentimental, I’m barely holding back the tears!”
LOUIS: (hugging Eleanor) “El…” (sighs grandiosely, Eleanor laughs) “We have had some
history, you and I, but…”
ELEANOR: “But we’re both glad that’s over.”
LOUIS: “Yes. But also, you’re great. I never really told you that before…” (motioning to the boys)
“Any of you, really. I never told you how much you all meant to me but you were my family and
I’ve learned a lot being here. We’ll always be family.”
NIALL: (sniffling, wiping his eyes) “Too late. The sprinklers are on. Who turned them on?
Who?!”
HARRY: (to Zayn, surprised) “Are you crying too?”
ZAYN: (poking at his eyes) “No, just got something in my eye.”
LOUIS: (takes another look at them) “I will miss you guys. I’ll see you all soon. Don’t let Simon
enjoy any departure too much. Make sure to break his balls now and then so he never gets that
promotion and leaves us.”
LIAM: “We’re on it.”
HARRY: (to Eleanor) “Make sure Jack knows we love him.”
ELEANOR: (smiles, teary) “He will probably kick the new cast members in the balls and call
them fake spies.”
LOUIS: “I wouldn’t expect anything less from my son.”
HARRY: (to Louis, softly) “Are you ready, love?”
LOUIS: “Yup. Not gonna stand here and shed tears for these clowns.”
ZAYN: “Because you’ll do all that in the car.”
LOUIS: (walking to the passenger seat, opens the door) “You got me there.”
ELEANOR: (calling after them) “Drive safe guys!”
ZAYN: “Tell us when you get there.”
NIALL: “Send pictures!”
LIAM: “Don’t have sex in the car!” (the rest look at him) “What, it’s valid advice. They had sex in
a tent. What makes you think they won’t fuck in the middle of traffic? They have no morals. God
isn’t a thing when it comes to them. They don’t care for purity, sanctity. They just be fucking
everywhere they can get their smooth, shaved balls on.”
LOUIS: “Good idea, Liam.”
ELEANOR: (raising her hand) “Can I watch?”
LIAM: “Wasn’t once enough for you, woman?”
ELEANOR: “Once was enough to wet my appetite.”
LIAM: “Ew, never use the word ‘wet’ in the same sentence as Larry sex, ever.”
ZAYN: “Says the guy who draws fan art of them.”
LOUIS: (loud) “Anyway! Bye, losers. Wave at us as we drive away.” (looking at them out of the
window, as they wave slash salute) “Wow, it’s a classic, movie snapshot. I mean with Niall there
playing Woody, it could practically be Toy Story 3.”
NIALL: “Don’t make me bawl again. I love that movie.”
LOUIS: “And I love you. All of you. Stay failing. Will see you when we return here in a decade
with our kids.”
LIAM: “I’ll be the one in the Tigger suit!”
4. INT. HARRY’S CAR — MINUTES LATER

HARRY: “Is it the next exit here? We should turn on the navigator. I don’t really know how to
follow signs.” (stops the car on the side of the road to pull out his navigator and punch the address
in) “Where to first, boo?”
LOUIS: (has been silent for a bit, suddenly, determined) “We need to go back.”
HARRY: “New York?”
LOUIS: “No, we need to go back to Disney.”
HARRY: “Wait, what? We just left with all that ceremony and your first stop is going back? Did
you change your mind?”
LOUIS: “No, I forgot something.”
HARRY: “Shit. What? We checked the room fairly well.”
LOUIS: “I know, it wasn’t like that. I forgot to do something.”
HARRY: “Something important?”
LOUIS: “Super important. I can’t go on without so can we go back?”
HARRY: “Yeah, for sure. It won’t take too long.” (starts the car again, reverses it to drive back)
“We have all the time in the world anyway. We’re on vacation.”
LOUIS: “Yes. And I want to start our vacation right.”
5. EXT. DISNEY PARKING LOT — LATER
HARRY: (parks the car) “Will it take long? Should I wait here?”
LOUIS: (unbuckling) “No, you need to come.”
HARRY: “Where?” (unbuckling also, getting out of the bar) “Where are we going?”
LOUIS: (smiling mischievously) “You’ll see.”
HARRY: “I swear if you want us to sneak one last cigarette inside the park, I’m leaving you and
taking all your stuff. Because that’s petty.”
LOUIS: “It’s not that. Though, good thinking. We can’t get fired now.” (reaching the gate, talks
to the person who you show your ticket to) “Hey, can we step in for a bit?”
TICKET PERSON: “Do you have a ticket?”
LOUIS: “No, we work here.”
TICKET PERSON: Where’s your badge?”
LOUIS: “We worked here up until five minutes ago. And I forgot something inside so can we go
in and get it?”
TICKET PERSON: “I’m sorry, sir. I can’t let you in without a badge. You can try the cast
members door.”
LOUIS: “No, I’m no longer a cast member but I was and I don’t think it’s asking too much to be
let in the park.”
TICKET PERSON: “Rules are rules.”
HARRY: “We can try calling Simon? Did you forget something in the locker room? Maybe
someone’s shift is ending. Or we’ll get it sent to us, like Zayn said.”
LOUIS: “Ok, fine. We’ll pay for tickets. Like plebeians.”
HARRY: “What?!”
LOUIS: (hands the bills to the person) “It makes it more authentic this way anyway.”
HARRY: (confused but going with it) “What are we doing? This is crazy.”
LOUIS: (passing through the gates, entering the park) “Going in a park is crazy?”
6. EXT. DISNEY — CONTINUOUS
HARRY: “No, but if you forgot something, we could have had someone grab it for us. We didn’t
have to pay for actual tickets. That’s crazy.”
LOUIS: “I didn’t forget something. I forgot to do something.”
HARRY: “What?”
LOUIS: “This.” (grabs Harry’s hand in his, threads their fingers, smiles at him) “I forgot to
actually be in this place with my boyfriend, enjoying every second of it. In public. Where everyone
can see us. I forgot to enjoy this moment, this final memory.”
HARRY: (touched) “Lou…”
LOUIS: “I know we’re both sick of Disney by now and we’ve seen all the shows and we’ve done
all the rides after dark. But…” (shrugs, as he smiles at the people and the settings, almost skipping
around and enjoying the atmosphere full of love and wonder and joy) “I’ve never done it like this.
And it was kind of a dream of mine. Working for Disney is one thing, going to Disney another.”
HARRY: (stopping Louis) “Then let’s do it well.” (kissing him in the middle of the street, Louis
kisses back, throws his arms around Harry’s neck and pulls him closer, they pull apart, smiling
brightly) “Where to first? Should we check the times and see what has the shortest line?”
LOUIS: “Yes, but first…” (points into the distance) “Cinderella’s castle.”
HARRY: (dragging him along to the side where they’re selling Dippin’ Dots) “Right after we get
balls!”
LOUIS: (pretending to be annoyed) “Fine. Balls first, castle next. We need compromise here.”
7. INT. INSIDE CINDERELLA’S CASTLE — LATER
HARRY: (stopping in the middle, looking up at the beautiful walls and architecture) “We’re in.
We made it. What now, beautiful prince?”
LOUIS: (grinning) “Now we kiss obviously. Everyone knows the fairytale ends with a kiss. True
love’s kiss.”
HARRY: “Oh.” (amused, pulling Louis closer to him, arms wrapped around his small waist, lips
almost connected, staring at each other with absolutely no care in the world about who sees them
and who smiles at them and who doesn’t, the universe is right there in between their eyes and all is
as it should be) “Is that so?
LOUIS: (confessing) “I’ve always wanted one of these forever kisses.” (Harry leans in, softly
touches Louis’ lips with his before fully kissing him, in the middle of the park they met each other
and fell for each other, Louis smiles into the kiss before pulling away, happy at last whispered)
“And now, in cursive handwriting, it says….THE END.”
Chapter End Notes
thank you for reading. no matter how many times people finish this book and all the
comments they used to leave in the Wattpad version in the last chapter, I still can't
believe that so many people were affected by this story that took me many years to
work through and is very personal to my life. any comments and love is very
appreciated, and read and screenshot.
I am active on twitter and I also have a curious cat for anon comments and questions.
if you'd like to send something to me like a letter or a fanart, my email is always open:
mockingjaydray@gmail.com, and all your work would be featured on my card, which
you also check out for more random stuff.
Please drop by the archive and comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!

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Confessions of a Gay Disney Prince

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/25979119.

Confessions of a Gay Disney Prince

THE OFFICIAL WATTPAD STORY REUPLOAD BY THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR.

IF YOU COME TO ME ASKING TO RE-UPLOAD THIS ON WATTPAD, I'LL

See the end of the chapter for more notes

"CONFESSIONS OF A GAY DISNEY PRINCE"

SAGA 1: THE PRINCESS IN THE TOWER

Chapter 1: Once Upon

[McDonalds, Walt Disney World in Florida, 1:47pm, Lunchtime]

HARRY: “Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away—“

ELEANOR: “Louis, enough.” (to Harry) “You were saying, Harry?”

ELEANOR: (excitedly) “Harry!”

HARRY: “Prince..." (hesitates) "Harry did not want to marry.”

LOUIS: (deadpanned) “Gay.”

LOUIS: “Having or showing merry, gay, Eleanor.”

ELEANOR: “How old? Like thirty?”

ELEANOR: “It’s a fairytale, Louis.”

HARRY: “We’re not telling the Shrek story…”

ELEANOR: “So why didn’t he get married then?”

LOUIS: “Because he was a pussy.” (snorts)

LOUIS: (laughing) "With a small pee-pee.”

LOUIS: (smirking) “Ten…inches.”

LOUIS: “Whatchu say, little boy?”

LOUIS: (taunting) “Fighting words, I hear.”

HARRY: “Big mouth.”

ELEANOR: (rolling her eyes) “Louis, you’re being a pain.”

HARRY: (stung) “Oh? How so?”

ELEANOR: “Don’t be so vile.”

HARRY: (deadpanned) “Awesome.”

HARRY: (more subdued) “Good for you.”

ELEANOR: “Louis, you’re being mean. I think you better go.”

ELEANOR: “I think you better go, okay?”

LOUIS: “Better to be a dick than a pussy, right, Harry?”

LOUIS: (starts walking away) “I’m not mean.”

LOUIS: “At least I have blue hair, not blue balls.”

ELEANOR: "Nice, Louis, real nice."

LOUIS: "We all know you just adore the kid."

LOUIS: (in disbelief) "Why would I be jealous?"

LOUIS: "Bye now."

ELEANOR: "Don't scare a child on the way."

LOUIS: "Ha. Ha."

Chapter End Notes

FUCK WATTPAD = NO I DO NOT WANT YOU TO RE-UPLOAD MY WORK

[Sorcerer’s Hat, Disney World, 2:43pm, Autograph Signing]

ZAYN: “How was lunch?”

ZAYN: “Oh. Louis was there then.”

HARRY: “Yeah. But it was okay, I guess.”

ZAYN: “You hated it.”

ZAYN: “So you absolutely hated it.”

ZAYN: “Why does he bother you so much?”

HARRY: “Huh? That kid?”

HARRY: “He doesn’t.”

HARRY: “I don’t care.”

HARRY: (worriedly) “Why, is it obvious? Do I make it obvious, that I’m bothered?”

ZAYN: (amused) “I thought you weren’t bothered.”

HARRY:“I’m not but does it look like I am?”

ZAYN: “A bit yes.”