Research Reveals a Surprising

Solution for Anxiety

How compassion can help you relieve stress.

Source: Dromarcos. mc billeta ,parque los reyes. 2012. Creative Commons Share alike on Wikimedia Commons

Millions of Americans are suffering from chronic anxiety, the most common
mental illness in the United States. Anxiety affects over 40 million adults and over
25% of children between 13 and 18 (Anxiety
and DepressionAssociation). Undermining our ability to function, anxiety can fill us
with incessant worry, tension, nervousness, and a fearful sense of foreboding
that makes us feel we are not safe. 

The stresses of contemporary life contribute to our anxiety, according to

neurosurgeon James R. Doty, M.D., director of Stanford University’s Center for
Compassion and AltruismResearch and Education (CCARE). Deprived of sleep by
electric lights and electronic communication, and assaulted by workplace
demands and the frantic pace of modern living, he says, we can experience
“chronic engagement of our sympathetic nervous system, depressing our
immune system, increasing our blood pressure, causing the production of
inflammatory proteins, decreasing our cortisol level, our epinephrine,
norepinephrine, with a very deleterious effect on long-term health” (Doty, 2019).

Constant self-criticism also causes stress, according to psychologist Paul Gilbert.

When you make a mistake, if you call yourself names like “stupid and “loser,” or
tell yourself that you’re “not good enough,” and this harsh self-talkactually makes
you feel that you are being attacked, triggering a stress reaction (Gilbert, 2009).

Emotionally, all this stress puts us in “survival mode,” destroying our peace of
mind and impairing our ability to make wise decisions. Stress makes us more
reactive, and more susceptible to people who try to manipulate us, both
personally and politically (Doty, 2019)

A surprising solution to all this stress and anxiety is compassion, “an open-
hearted way of relating to the world that responds to the suffering of others with
care, kindness, and helpful action” (Neff & Seppala, 2016, p. 189). Compassion
also includes self-compassion, being kind to ourselves, especially when we make
mistakes, treating ourselves as we would treat a dear friend (Neff, 2011).

Research has shown that cultivating compassion for ourselves and others can
relieve stress (Jazaieri et al, 2012; 2018). Compassion Cultivation Training at
CCARE involves nine weekly two-hour sessions along with daily meditations at
home. Researcher Thupten Jinpa’s book, A Fearless Heart(2015), describes this
training, offering mindfulness and loving-kindness meditations to promote greater
compassion and self-compassion.
Cultivating compassion begins with mindful breathing. Mindfully pausing to take a
few slow deep breaths has been shown to cut through the stress reaction,
helping us focus, relax, and act more effectively (Jinpa, 2015). In his memoir, Into
the Magic Shop (2017), Dr. Doty tells how he has used this practice to focus
his attention when dealing with challenging brain surgeries.

Cultivating compassion helps relieve stress by reframing the way we see the
world. As Dr. Doty explains, “Just teaching people to look at the world from a
different perspective, teaching people how to understand that an event is an
event and that a lot of suffering is caused when you attach emotional content to
the event,” can expand our perspective to relieve our stress.

Finally, realizing that we are not alone, that “everyone is suffering” transforms the
way we perceive the people around us. Instead of reacting to someone’s
negative remark with even more negativity, Dr. Doty explains that we can
recognize “that that the manner in which someone interacts with you frequently
has no relationship to you,” referring to Viktor Frankl, who said that “Our freedom
is in the pause between the stimulus and the response.”

“This is where the pause comes in,” Dr. Doty says. “This is where your freedom
lies. This can be very helpful,” adding that it takes time and practice to “control
your natural tendencies of how you respond to aggressive people.”

Research has shown that compassion is incredibly good for our health
(Fredrickson, Cohn, Coffey, Pek, & Finkel, 2008). Dr. Doty says that by
developing greater compassion, love, and acceptance, “You shift into your
parasympathetic nervous system, the executive control function works its best,
your decision-making works its best. You’re much more open, thoughtful, and
inclusive.”

Compassion also makes us feel happier. We now know that caring for one
another stimulates the pleasure or reward centers in our brains (Doty, 2019).

To experience greater compassion when you’re feeling stressed, you can pause to

take three deep breaths, then:

 Tell yourself that an event is just an event, that someone’s else’s negative
behavior may have nothing to do with you. If your boss unexpectedly
snapped at you, he may just be having a bad day. Perhaps he got a
speeding ticket on the way to work.
 Realize that everyone is suffering, even your irritable boss.
 Pause to take a few mindful breaths and send compassion to this
person with a brief loving-kindness meditation: “May you be filled with
loving-kindness, may you be well, may you be free from suffering, may
you be happy.”
Feel your mood and energies change.
The next time you’re feeling down, you can experience greater self-compassion
by pausing for a few deep breaths, then taking these three steps recommended
by psychologist Kristin Neff:

 Mindfulness. Instead of attacking yourself, tune into your feelings. Ask

yourself, “What am I feeling?” and name your feelings to yourself—“I feel
sad. . . scared. . . hurt. . . angry. . . confused.”
 Common humanity. Remind yourself that suffering is common to all
humanity. Tell yourself, “It’s OK. No one’s perfect. Everyone makes
mistakes.”
 Kindness to yourself. Actively soothe yourself with kind words. You can
even give yourself a hug, as Neff suggests, by crossing your arms over
your chest and squeezing your upper arms, saying, “Poor dear, you’re
really hurting right now” (2011).
Then feel your mood and energies change.

A little more compassion can make a major difference in your life. If you’re
feeling anxious and stressed, can you stop, take a few deep mindful breaths, and
begin feeling a deeper sense of compassion for yourself and those around you?

_____________________

This post is for informational purposes and should not substitute

for psychotherapy with a qualified professional.

References

Anxiety statistics from the Anxiety and Depression Association of America https://adaa.org/about-

adaa/press-room/facts-statistics

Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education at Stanford

University, http://ccare.stanford.edu/

Doty, J. R. Personal communication, Mountain View, California, July 10, 2019. All quotes from Dr.
Doty are from this interview.

Doty, J. R. (2017). Into the magic shop: A neurosurgeon’s quest to discover the mysteries of the
brain and the secrets of the heart. New York, NY: Penguin Putnam.

Doty, J. R. (2017). Into the magic shop: A neurosurgeon’s quest to discover the mysteries of the
brain and the secrets of the heart. New York, NY: Penguin Putnam.

Fredrickson, B. L., Cohn, M. A., Coffey, K. A., Pek, J., Finkel, S. M. (2008). Open hearts build
lives: Positive emotions, induced through loving-kindness meditation, build consequential personal
resources. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95,1045-1062.

Gilbert, P. (2009). The compassionate mind. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

Jazaieri, H., Jinpa, G., McGonigal, K., Rosenberg, E., Finkelstein, J., Simon-Thomas, E., Cullen,
M., Doty, J., Gross, J., & Goldin, P. (2012). Enhancing compassion: A randomized controlled trial
of a Compassion Cultivation Training program. Journal of Happiness Studies, 14, 1113-1126.
Jazaieri, H., McGonigal, K., Lee, I. A., Jinpa, T., Doty, J. R., Gross, J. J., & Goldin, P. R. (2018).
Altering the trajectory of affect and affect regulation: The impact of compassion
training. Mindfulness, 9(1), 283-293 

Jinpa, T. (2015). A fearless heart: How the courage to be compassionate can transform our
lives. New York, NY: Hudson Street Press.

Neff, K. (2011). Self-compassion: Stop beating yourself up and leave insecurity behind. New York,
NY: William Morrow. For more information about self-compassion, see http://www.self-
compassion.org/

Neff, K., D., & Seppala, E. (2016). Compassion, Well-Being, and the Hypoegoic Self. In K. W.
Brown & M. Leary (Eds), Oxford Handbook of Hypo-egoic Phenomena: Theory and Research on
the Quiet Ego, (pp. 189-203). New York, NY: Oxford University Press.

Πηγή: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/your-personal-
renaissance/201908/research-reveals-surprising-solution-anxiety