ANTS IN MY PANTS

Preface: The Story “Ants In My Pants” is a chucklesome story and can be

read and appreciated by emerging and fluent readers in the Age group of 7-12
years. It is a comical one day journey about how little beings can make a boy
troubled to his nerves by beating and bouncing in his pants all day long.

Author: Eager Beaver-Kaabir Nirmal Jaisingh

Grade: VI
School: Podar ORT International School, Worli

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My Funny Bones Tickle and my stomach aches, when I
remember that day, When I had Ants in my Pants!
That will still be one of my most amusing and chuckle some
day of all my hilarious experiences! So be ready to laugh and
put up a scarf! Because today is the day you will chuckle, giggle
and snicker like insane!

3-2-1 AND THE BELLY LAUGHING PLANE LAUNCHES

NOW! –

My memory of my Funny Sunny Sunday morning is still very

fresh!

Last year on a Mayday I had nothing to do, so I decided to

play the fool because I thought it was really cool to keep my
Sunday occupied! I looked out of my window when suddenly
a bird decided to poop on me, oops it got my hair and hands
all messy, oh what a start to my sunny Sunday morning...

As on all other Sunday mornings I ambled down my living

room and I wished my parents a very good morning and my
mother handed my usual morning hot chocolate while she
and my dad fancied their tea. My dad was reading his
newspaper while slurping down his tea and I was sipping my
hot chocolate milk with extra marshmallows! Then I went to
get ready and have a splendid bubble bath. Soon after, I
marched down the park with my diary of funny stories! I kept
reasoning and thinking about what to do?

After twenty mins of dilly- dallying I came to the conclusion

of writing a poem as I already had my diary. Then I spotted a

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nice place under the shade of a tree. After I settled down and
got comfortable, I started the first few lines of the poem but
it wasn’t up to the mark. Moreover, it was very dark under
the tree so I changed my place and then started to write
once again. But I was not in a mood to write a story so I just
kept doodling in my diary for the next whole hour.

Just then, my friend came along. The two of us began

chatting while we jumped from one branch to another of the
nearby tree! Fifteen minutes of this bout of jumping like
monkeys and my friend had to leave, so I bid him goodbye.

Suddenly, I felt something lingering in my pants. It was only

when they began biting me that I realized they were “Red
ants”! I hollered on the top of my lungs: “There are ants in
my pants!” Even the nearby building could hear me but
surprisingly no one came to my aid!

I rushed home and I tried to remove the ants with a comb,

but it didn’t work! I even tried with a sheet of foam but more
and more of them kept pouring out of my pants. Soon the
ants, getting bolder, ambled up inside my underwear!

So, I decided to take a shower but I had no more power, they

were glued to my underwear! I panicked, I jumped I even
bumped it to a pole, but there was no way the red ants were
coming out! I rushed to the cleaner so he could mop and
vacuum the red ants out of my pants, but they too couldn't
succeed. The ants were just not ready to get out of my pants.
The cleaner got a bit terrified and after thinking in a flick of a
second he told me to go to the doctor.

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My father whizzed me to the doctor while the ants were
biting me inside and tickling me like crazy! They were running
here and there, here and there in my underpants and pants!
Because of all this I got confused and while getting down
from the car my shirt and pant got caught on the car handle!
It was throbbing to get entangled on the car handle with ants
in my pants.

My father pulled me, and the ants in my pants fell on the

other side of my underpants and then while I was running to
get to the doctor faster the ants started biting me and
tickling me more and more! As fast I was running, the ants
were troubling me more and more. Now I lost my patience so
I stopped and shouted out to the ants but then I realized I
was losing my balance! Because of the ant’s weight I was
going upside down and I lost my balance and fell down on my
back.

I couldn’t get up because of the ant’s weight! So, I called out

for help to my father and while he was coming running
towards me, he tripped on a stone! Even he too couldn’t get
up because he fell on his stomach and then his stomach
started gurgling, oh that was worth a chuckle! After a lot of
hollering and bellowing for help, a kind stranger came and
ferried my father and me to the doctor. But when we
reached the doctor's clinic there were more seven patients
ahead of us. We pleaded to be let in first but the nurse didn’t
allow! Even after we told her our condition! Instead, the
nurse volunteered to treat us. She took us outside and tried
to remove the ants out of my pants with a ruler! But it was

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unsuccessful of course and instead it backfired and hurt me
even more! Then she tried to remove those creepy crawlies
with her water bottle. That didn't work either. Even after a
boatload of various strategies by the nurse we hadn't gained
any ground.

We were on the verge of giving up, when finally we got our

chance to see the Doctor! But while I was entering the
doctor’s room all the other patients who were waiting in the
queue started laughing and giggling at me because of the
ants in my pants. They stamped their feet and slapped their
thighs as if I was a comedian entertaining them.

The worst was still to come. When the Doctor heard about
my condition he freaked out and fell unconscious! While the
doctor was being treated by the nurse, I was still wriggling
and wiggling with all those ants considering making my pants
their permanent home. Then finally after hours of waiting the
doctor said that first I had to go to the nearby vet and only
the vet could remove the ants from my pants. I was at my
tether's end but my father told me to relax and he would
ferry me to the Vet, so I hopped into the car once again.

So, friends, how did you like the story till here? Find yourself
a cozy place which you like the most and grab some popcorn,
so I can continue with my story, but please be careful the
ants should not enter your pants too!

3-2-1 AND THE BELLY LAUGHING PLANE TAKES OFF

ONCE AGAIN!

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My father started speeding up the car because the ants were
now biting me really hard! Then we were about to reach but
my father mistakenly crossed the red signal! And the police
caught us because of rash and fast driving! My father rolled
down his window and the policeman heard about our critical
situation. After twenty minutes of dilly dallying we were
finally allowed to move ahead! But before we knew it, our
car ran out of petrol.

Oh, What a Sunday! The ants in my pants started getting

restless and crawled up and down, up and down my body
and till that time my father arranged help and asked for a
ride to the vet from his friend who was passing by… We
hopped on once again in my dad’s friend’s car. I wondered
why he was driving at snail's pace. He explained that he was
not allowed to go more than 18 km on his speed because the
car was not his and it was rented! What a fix we were in. We
couldn’t even speed up now!

Now the ants in my pants started jumping and biting me,

they thought that I was food! Oh Lord! That was worth a
chortle.

Finally, after a boatload of dilly-dallying and many ups and

downs we finally reached the vet, my dad said that he would
bid his friend goodbye and come while he told me to rush in.
I bolted down the footpath and reached the entrance of the
Vet clinic! But while I was climbing up the staircase the ants
in my pants had decided to explore new ground and began
climbing up to my pockets and were trying to get out from

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my pockets, but as I had very small pockets the ants had no
way to escape! So, frustrated, they bit me even more!

While I climbed up ploddingly on the staircase, I finally

arrived at the Vet’s clinic, but once again there were more
than 7 patients ahead of me and the nurse told me that I
couldn't get in without an appointment! I bleated and plead
to the nurse to let me go in because after sometime she too
started getting scared of the ants! The nurse ferried me in to
the Doctor vets room (you must be thinking how is there a
doctor in a vet’s clinic that cures humans, but yeah it was
kind of weird!) I bolted in, and told the doctor all of the
situation, but the doctor was around 80 years and was half
deaf and I had to repeat things around five times to him!

Then he told me that he had an idea to remove the ants from

my pants, He tied a rope to one of his teeth and tied the
other side of the rope to the door and banged the door with
his tooth tied by the rope and bam!!... his filthy and unclean
tooth fell out of his mouth on the floor! He told me that if I
put this in my underpants the ants in my pants will smell this
and come out of my pants! I freaked out and I asked the
doctor if he was sure because I was never ever going to put
that filthy unclean and stained tooth in my pants but I had to!
Or else those ants in my pants would always live with me!

So, I closed my eyes and bravely put that filthy and unclean
tooth in my pants! We waited for more than 10 minutes and
then 7 ants marched up from my neck and then slowly all of
them showed up, it was a river of ants out there! Bahahaha!

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The vet told me that I had to show the bitten places on my
body to the doctor just to be sure there was no infection or
allergy! All of my bitten places were hurting me a lot, I
couldn’t even walk properly! My skin had changed from
peach to red! My Father ferried me back home and then I
went to bed! But I couldn’t sleep that whole night….

I couldn’t sleep that whole night because of all the pain

caused by the ants in my pants, I kept rolling around on the
bed and I think there were still 2-3 ants left in my pants that
night, But I had no more energy to remove them! Oh Well,
those ants were not ready to leave my pants!

My Father and I hopped on the car once again and this

morning I didn’t even have my hot chocolate with
marshmallows because of the pain in my whole butt and
body, we straight hopped into the car and rushed off to the
doctor, This time there were no ups and downs on our
journey, we straight dashed into the clinic and once again
fancied the nurse a very good morning, she asked me if there
were still ants in my pants, but I just answered “No” and
marched off in the doctor’s room. He too enquired about the
ants in my pants and once again I gave a straightforward
answer “No”!!

The doctor checked all my bites and he even shoved out two
ants after a boatload of freaking out! To my relief, I had no
allergy or infection caused by the ants and the doctor handed
me over some medicines for the irritation and itching caused
by the ants.

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Hey friends, I am back! So how did you like my chuckle-some,
humorous and witty story about “Ants in My Pants”? Oh,
What A Sunday!

3-2-1 AND THE BELLY LAUGHING PLANE LANDS NOW!

Boom!
Hahahahahahaha!!