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Dirty Talk Basics
Dirty Talk Basics
Gutter bedroom talk is an art form in itself -- but don’t worry, it's not that hard to learn how to be good at it. Yes, there may be giggles, but a laugh is better than the alternative of silence
and the subsequent hysterics you’ll trigger when she tells her girlfriends about it.
Even in our modern era, talking about what we want when it comes to sex is still difficult. Fantasy requests can be misconstrued as saying “you are not enough for me” when, in reality,
they are a huge part of our sexuality -- which, if we believe statistics, a whopping 80% of our sex lives takes place in our heads. So, talking dirty is part of fantasy sex play, and can be a
headboard-busting turn-on for both partners.
It is possible, however, that she will flatly refuse to entertain the idea, in which case, it’s best to drop it. If she is uncomfortable with the idea, she is not likely to change her mind in a
hurry and any attempts will probably be a turn off.
There are two aspects of successfully integrating dirty talk into your sex play. The first is the content -- subject matter makes or breaks any dirty talk session. It’s supposed to turn her
on, not make her cringe or burst out laughing. The second is the delivery: Your tone, volume and the warm up are all important.
Want to avoid getting slapped? Here’s a tip: Don’t mention her twin sister…
Tips on building up your bank of filthy lines and how to deal with uncontrollable laughter…
Warm up
First thing’s first: Make sure you are both in the mood. It is easiest to start talking dirty when you are actually having sex. You will both need to be quite turned on for it to work, which
means no skipping foreplay. Whisper a couple of things in her ear and see what she does, just to test the waters.
Start talking
A good way to start the dirty talk is by simply relaying what you are doing at the time and how good it feels -- but don’t go on about it. Having someone commentating on the action the
entire time can be a turn off, so take it easy. Just say a few things, like: “Your [insert body part] feels so good” or “I love how my [insert body part] feels when you do that.” Keep in mind
that women can feel quite self-conscious when a man comments on their body during sex. The benefit of this dialogue is that not only will she get to hear you dirty talk, but she’ll also
get to learn more about what you like during sex. This communication has longer-lasting benefits than just making sex more exciting at the time, and it will encourage her to speak up
too.
Get feedback
It can be hard to discuss how well you’re doing while in the act, so save the analysis for later. If she doesn’t like it but you clearly do, she won’t want to embarrass you. To avoid this
problem with a less communicative partner, ask her later. Discuss it when you’re watching TV or making dinner. Any time you are fully clothed there is a far less risk of damaging egos.
You can talk about which parts you both liked, and if she or you stopped liking it at anytime and why. Keep the discussion lighthearted and fun.
filthy fun
Talking dirty can be a lot of fun and can give a boost to your sex life. Being an effective dirty talker takes practice and perseverance. Blurting out rude things may come naturally to you,
but being a successful filth merchant probably doesn’t. Just remember: Take it easy and work your way into it.