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Helping Children SAMPLE COPY

Cope With Grief Talk About the Loss
Of a Loved One
U nfortunately, grief is a part of life. Your child
may experience grief over the death of a
beloved family member, a
classmate, a friend or a pet.
Your child may even experience
grief over tragic world events.
Talking with your child about
his feelings is the best way
to help him get through this
tough time. Here are some ideas that may help: Keep Your Child’s Age in Mind
• Be honest. Your child needs to know that he
can count on you for the truth. A s you talk with your child, it’s important to
make your explanations age-appropriate.
• Be sensitive to his fears. If the person died • An early elementary school child needs
in a hospital, your child may be afraid of brief, simple information about what has
going to the hospital. Talk with him about happened.
the good care people receive from doctors
W hether it strikes suddenly or after a long battle
with illness, the death of a friend or loved one
affects children in many ways.
and nurses.
• Share your family’s beliefs. Your values will
• An upper elementary or early middle
school child will be more vocal in
asking questions. He may have a better
While you, as a parent, may be coping with the comfort you and your child. understanding of the finality of death.
loss, keep in mind that it is important to help your • Let your child know that it’s okay to be sad. • An upper middle school or high school
child with grief, too. During difficult times, it’s easy Even anger is okay, but your child may need student might be reluctant to display his
to forget about school and other responsibilities. your help and patience to assist him in feelings. Make sure he has another trusted
But if you work together, you and your child will expressing these feelings appropriately. Help adult, such as a school counselor, religious
find a way to stay on track. Here you’ll find informa- him put them into perspective. advisor, relative or a neighborhood parent
tion about what your child may be going through • Express your own sorrow. Your child needs to turn to.
and some ways you can help. to know that you are very sad about what Regardless of your child’s age, encourage him to
happened. He also needs to know that you talk about his thoughts and feelings. Be a good
understand he is grieving. Remember, you listener. Remind your child that you are available
can never say, “I love you,” too many times! to talk and listen—and just be there for him.

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SAMPLE COPY

What Can You Do to Help Your Child Cope? Does Your Child Need
Suggest Different Ways
More Help?
To Grieve
Your child’s creative side can help him
H ere are some signs that your child may
be having a serious problem with grief:
• A long period of depression.
through this difficult period. Your child • Lack of interest in things
may find comfort in: that she used to love.
• Writing a poem. • Loss of appetite.
• Composing a song. • Inability to sleep.
• Drawing a picture. • Aggressive emotional
• Stay close to your child. Your physical • Making a photo album filled with outbursts.
presence will comfort and reassure her. Give pictures of the loved one. • Excessively imitating
plenty of hugs. Take extra time at bedtime • Making a family donation to a charity the deceased person.
to sit close and tell her that she is loved and in memory of the loved one. • Making remarks about wanting to
safe. join the deceased person.
• Planting a tree. A tree is a living
• Try to maintain normal routines to the message that life goes on. • Marked drop in grades or refusal to go
extent possible. Knowing what to expect to school.
will reassure your child.
Mental health experts agree that if your child
• Spend extra time reading or playing quiet continues to show one or more of these signs,
games with your child. These activities are she may be having a serious problem with
calming and foster a sense of closeness and grief. If you are concerned that your child’s
security. problems may be serious, seek professional
• Observe your child’s emotional state. help right away.
Children express their emotions differently.
There is no right or wrong way to feel or
express grief.
• Stay in touch with your child’s teachers so
they can work with you to help your child. One of a series of QuickTips®
from The Parent Institute®, P.O. Box 7474,
Fairfax Station, VA 22039-7474
• Safeguard your child’s health. Stress can (800) 756-5525 • www.parent-institute.com
Stock No. 1172 (English) • Stock No. 2172 (Spanish)
take a physical toll on children as well as Copyright 2011 The Parent Institute®
adults. Make sure you and your child get Licensed for distribution by Your School
appropriate sleep, exercise and nutrition. Name Appears Here through December
2016.

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