Rough Draft

To: Tonya Hughes, Mayor

From: Larissa Fuller
Subject: Invitation to XYZ Sign Co. Media Event
 
Dear Tonya,
As the Office Manager f XYZ Sign Co., I would like to personally introduce myself and the
recent accomplishment of XYZ Sign Co. My name is Larissa and XYZ has recently completed
the installation of our solar panels located on the top of our office/manufacturing facility. These
solar panels not only supply enough electricity for our building but generates extra electricity
that then gets returned to the power grid to supply electricity to 1,000 average homes in the
surrounding area. Over the past decade, great amount of businesses has relocated to other cities,
however significant investment our demonstrates our loyalty to remaining in Paradise, Ohio, and
protecting the environment.
Do you appreciate what the company has accomplished and what it has done for Paradise? If so,
XYZ Sign Co. is planning a media event to present the newly refurbished office/plant and it
would be such an honor and bring the President of XYZ great joy if you would attend. The
opening ceremony is Scheduled for September 25th at 10:00AM, which should only run for about
30 minutes. Additionally, what better way to express your appreciation then to contribute a small
5 to 10-minute speech.
Please consider being a part of this grand event to celebrate this accomplishment. Furthermore, if
you have any questions or concerns, please don’t hesitate to reach me.
Thank you,
Larissa Fuller
Office Manager of XYZ Sign Co.
Paradise, Ohio
 Final Draft

Date: …

To: Tonya Hughes, Mayor

From: Larissa Fuller

Subject: Invitation to XYZ Sign Co. Media Event

 Dear Tonya,

My name is Larissa Fuller, the Office Manager of XYZ Sign Co. I'm excited to share our most
recent accomplishment of completing the installation of our solar panels on top of our
office/manufacturing facility. These solar panels not only supply enough electricity for our
building but generate electricity to 1,000 average homes within our community. This significant
investment in our facility demonstrates our loyalty to remaining in Paradise, Ohio, and protecting
the environment. In celebration, XYZ Sign Co. is planning a media event and it would be such
an honor and bring the president of XYZ great joy if you would attend.

Would you be willing to speak at the event? The opening ceremony is scheduled for September
25th at 10:00AM, which should only run for about 30 minutes. Please consider being a part of
this grand event with us!

If you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to reach me. I look forward to
hearing back from you.

Thank you,

Larissa Fuller

Office Manager of XYZ Sign Co.

Paradise, Ohio 

Teacher comments: You should have included the date at the top. "Dear Tonya" is not
formal enough; should have been "Dear Mayor Hughes." Pretty good first paragraph but
it would be better to have the event details at the end of that paragraph. I think you need
more details in paragraph two after your question. At the end, you should have politely set
a deadline to hear back by.