Kate B.

Tacogue

Burn for Peace

I’ve heard it described as a volcano that’s about to erupt. A hurricane. Like slow dancing barefoot on
broken shards of glass. Like trying to hold back the ocean with a broom. Like being drawn and
quartered. These are just some few examples of thousands of metaphors I collected about conflict.
What’s conflict like for you? Your metaphor matters because it often reflects how you think and feel
about conflict. If it’s like trying to hold back the oceans with a broom, I would imagine that feels
frustrating and futile. So, what do you do when the waves just keep on coming? Because conflict washes
ashore in all our relationships—at home, at work, in our neighborhood. The conflict that I experienced
and very unforgettable for me was when I was in my 9 th grade, that was the tie when I went home late
because we finished our projects with my groupmates and I forgot to text my mother and my father
about that thing, and during that time, rape is very rampant in Gensan. And when I went home, I was
very tired and my father scolded me, I was bombarded with hurtful words from him and even accused
me with the things I never did. All the happenings that time was very new to me, I was never used to
hear that kind of words from my father and never in my wildest dream I imagined my father shouting at
me so as never expected my self to shout back at him, I was so tired that time and I admit, I was out of
control with everything. I was beaten up by my father and during that time, I cursed him to death—what
I really regret up until now. After that day, my father was trying to reach out for me yet because of my
anger, I was being hardheaded. During that time, my mother given me an advise on how to deal with it,
like other people say—“communicate” but sometimes talking about it seems to make it worse so what I
did, I never talk to my father not until I realized that maybe—it’s not about the idea that I went home
late, it was my father’s identity being the head of the households and he’s trying to teach me respect
and responsibility and for my side, I know I had a lot of shortcomings, I should have done what’s right
from the very beginning and never use “tiredness” as your excuse.

Conflicts are a lot like icebergs. What we see on the surface may seem small, but what’s underneath can
send boats like titanic to the bottom of the ocean, and if you don’t pay attention on what’s underneath
my own conflicts it can rip holes in my relationships. Conflict is so much more, it’s all about our identity,
our relationships and the things that really matter to us. With all the things that happened in my life, I
realized that conflict isn’t always negative. Conflict is full of beauty—with what happened between me
and my father, I’ve been able to see the power it has to transform, it transforms us especially it
strengthens the relationship between me and my father and with my family. We must start looking at
conflict differently. No matter how negatively you think about conflict right now, it is possible to change
that. There, you’ll start climbing the ladders toward peace.