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Portfolio: Providing Peer Feedback

Sophie Joan Smith

California State University, Fullerton

English 363: Scientific Writing

Dr. Leslie Bruce

December 9, 2020
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Re: Sea Star Idea Map

by Sophie Joan - Thursday, September 10, 2020, 9:44 PM

Hello Renee,

To begin, your brainstorming map is neat and attractive. I especially appreciated the visual
stimuli usage. I usually highlight with different colors to categorize too...

I predict that graphics will be important when presenting your definition--Growing up in

Southern California, I have seen many a Sea Star so I can easily visualize one, but if you've
never seen one before, I can imagine it being quite striking and interesting to see the actual
imagery for the first time (thinking broad/generalized audience).

I am also curious: Will you include other terms for Sea Star in your definition, such as Star
Fish? I have regularly heard both terms used. Are these terms interchangeable? Is one more
“correct” than the other? (That is, is one considered to be a slang term?) Is the Sea Star in
fact a 'fish'? That might be interesting to note...

Your idea map showed me that you have lots of breadth to the definition you will be
formulating and I look forward to seeing the final product!

Sincerely,
Sophie
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Re: Key word

by Sophie Joan - Thursday, September 10, 2020, 9:57 PM

Hello Sean,

I decided to reply to your post because I am a psychology major, so you can assume I have
a very limited knowledge of...physics (?) Hopefully my feedback will help with the
generalizability of your definition.

First, I liked your organized idea web. Your main branches were clear and it looks like you
will cover your bases. When you add descriptive language to the additional branches, I
predict that your definition will be well-organized and easy to follow!

As for graphic usage, I Google-imaged 'shock front' and car parts came up. However, a
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recommended image search of 'shock waves' yielded more promising results--perhaps

something to bear in mind? I am not sure if ‘shock front’ is a very specific term, but for a
generalized audience, ‘shock waves’ might be a concept with a deeper informational well.

I am also curious to see how you describe the properties--I do think finding a way to clearly
and concisely communicate the principles of operation of shock front(s)(?) will be very
helpful for non-physicists. Perhaps you could consider the use of analogies/metaphors--
That has always helped me in the 'hard' sciences.

Anyways, happy defining!

Sincerely,
Sophie
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Re: Definition Idea Generation

by Sophie Joan - Thursday, September 10, 2020, 10:03 PM

Hello Kyle,

I am replying to your post because I have very little experience in chemistry--so I thought
my feedback might be useful for generalization.

I like your idea of creating a step-by-step section within your definition. I predict that
including the principles of operations will be useful in communicating the recrystallization
process to non-chemists. I also like the idea of using before and after graphics--That might
give readers a solid, tangible, visceral understanding of what recrystallization actually 'does'.

I would be curious to know if there are any safety hazards to bear in mind, or if there are
any 'risks' involved in the process. I didn't see that on your idea web, and that might be
useful for the reader to know!

I really like the idea of your commercial use section--It is always interesting to know who is
profiting off of science and how.

I hope this was useful for you! Have a nice evening.

Sincerely,
Sophie
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