let's just hope the words keep flowing

i have been keeping my gards up,call it trust issues,insecurities..i honestly have no idea

i've never considered myself as someone who would make an effort:i've been called careless
endless amounts of times until i believed it myself

when i came to see you,i honestly didn't do it for you i'done it for myself:i wanted to do
something i've never done before and it was my chance but i was surprised.

when you came yesterday it wasn't the first time that anyone had done anything like that for
me but what i felt was a first..i don't even know if that make any sense

im an emotional person i mean i try to connect with my emotions and feelings because i've
grown up a very confused child.i know i didn't explain anything but i have a very difficult
relationship with my mother,i love her to death but she was mea i used to get bullied at school
and then get bullied at home...

well that was just to explain why im an emotional person

...

i lost track of words

i have no idea what we have is going to lead to something but i think it's unfair that you don't
know some things about me (its not like i killed someone before or im in a cult) but i saw you
had a glimpse of who i am and you didn't like it (unfair? definitely)

i have always struggled with my sexuality (experimenting is not my best of expertise since i
am a very anxious person but i had a lot of crushes on other people)

my anxiety is why im always positive and energetic and it is why im pushing myself -slowly
but surely- to try new stuff

those are the two cornerstones of my beliefs and practically who i am and what i conduct

i am not asking you to be with me forever nor to label what we have because im so invested in
our present,i can't think about the future