The Chaos - Text & IPA transcription 02-05-2014 Rev.

13-03-2020; 19:04

The transcription is based on the IPA-table for English, with an exception for [e] and [oʊ] which I replaced by
[ɛ] and [əʊ], respectively, as per the system used by the OED ( 2nd ed. 1989). From its introduction to the trans-
lation of the phonetic system: ‘A notable example is the use of (ɛ) for the vowel of bed in place of the more
usual (e), because the English vowel is, for most English ears, closer to the cardinal open vowel of French faire
or German Bär than to the cardinal narrow vowel of French bébé or German Schnee.’. And: 'A distinction is
drawn between a diphthong (ɔə) in words like glory, boarder, mourning, and a long vowel (ɔ:) in words like
saurian, border, and morning.’

The OED and other dictionaries I consulted do not make a distinction between the stressed [ɪ] and the un-
stressed longer and closer [i]: city is transcribed as [‘sɪtɪ] in the OED and as [‘siti] in others. I opted for [‘sɪti], in
which the final sound is more ‘Continental’, and more to the point, for that matter. To me, it is a closer and
longer sound. My ‘Shorter Oxford English Dictionary’(3rd rev. ed.1968) agrees with me … The same holds good
for few [fju:] and curfew [ˈkɜːfju].

For this revision I originally thought of transcribing everything in connected speech, but then I realized that
this exercise is primarily meant for distinguishing between the various sounds and that the words should be
pronounced as standing alone. It may also avoid confusion with [hɪə ӕnd hɜːd], ‘hear and heard’ being reduced
to [‘hɪərə’nɜːd] ‘hear a nerd’… The whole thing would be rife with linking r’s, and and’s reduced to [n]’s. I
could even find at least one instance of a possible intrusive r ([aɪ wɪl tiːʧ juː-r-ɪn maɪ vɜːs]).

So, I will go for staccato speech: pronouncing each and every word one by one with its most common diction-
ary representation. To that end I opted for the transcription that comes first in the OED: [buːˈkeɪ], rather than
[‘buːkeɪ].

What became clear to me is that there is absolutely no universal method of transcribing RP with the present IPA
system. It needs to be revised to such an extent that compilers of dictionaries would eventually be unanimous
in their transcriptions.

Here we go (again…):

WillSnellen TheChaos.docx 1/8

The Chaos - Text & IPA transcription
Dearest creature in creation,
Studying English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse,
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.
It will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress you’ll tear,
Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer.
Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it.
Just compare heart, hear and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain,
(Mind the latter how it’s written).
Made has not the sound of bade,
Say-said, pay-paid, laid but plaid.
Now I surely will not plague you,
With such words as vague and ague.
But be careful how you speak.
Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak,
Previous, precious, fuchsia, via,
Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir,
Woven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.
Say, expecting fraud and trickery,
Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,
Branch, ranch, measles, topsails, aisles,
Missiles, similes, reviles,
Wholly, holly, signal, signing,
Same, examining, but mining.
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far.
From desire: desirable-admirable from admire,
Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier,
Topsham, brougham, renown, but known,
Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone,
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel.
Gertrude, German, wind and Wind,
Beau, kind, kindred, queue, mankind,
WillSnellen
02-05-2014 Rev. 13-03-2020; 19:04
ˈdɪərɪst ‘kriːʧə ɪn kriː’eɪʃən
ˈstʌdiɪŋ ‘ɪŋglɪʃ prəʊnʌnsiːˈeɪʃən
aɪ wɪl tiːʧ juː ɪn maɪ vɜːs
saʊndz laɪk kɔːps kɔə hɔːs ӕnd wɜːs
ɪt wɪl kiːp ju: ‘suːzi, ‘bɪzi
meɪk jɔː hɛd wɪð hiːt grəʊ ‘dɪzi
tɪə ɪn aɪ jɔː drɛs juːl tɛə
kwɪə fɛə ‘siːə hɪə maɪ prɛə
preɪ kɒn’səʊl jɔː ‘lʌvɪŋ ‘pəʊɪt
meɪk maɪ kəʊt lʊk njuː dɪə səʊ ɪt
ʤʌst kəm’pɛə hɑːt hɪə ӕnd hɜːd
daɪz ӕnd ‘daɪət lɔːd ӕnd wɜːd
sɔːd ӕnd swɔːd rɪ’teɪn ӕnd ‘brɪtn
maɪnd ðə ‘lætə haʊ ɪts ‘rɪtn
meɪd həz nɒt ðə saʊnd ɒv bæd
seɪ sɛd peɪ peɪd leɪd bʌt plæd
naʊ aɪ ˈʃʊəli wɪl nɒt pleɪg juː
wɪð sʌʧ wɜːdz əz veɪg ӕnd ‘eɪgjuː
bʌt biː ‘kɛəfʊl haʊ juː spiːk
seɪ gʌʃ bʊʃ steɪk striːk breɪk bliːk
‘priːvɪəs ‘prɛʃəs ‘fjuːʃə ‘vaɪə
‘rɛsipi paɪp ‘stʌnsəl ‘kwaɪə
‘wəʊvən ‘ʌvən haʊ ӕnd ləʊ
skrɪpt rɪ’siːt ʃuː ˈpəʊim təʊ
seɪ ɪkˈspɛktɪŋ frɔːd ӕnd ‘trɪkəri
ˈdɔːtə ˈlɑːftə ӕnd tɜːp’sɪkəri
brɑːnʧ rɑːntʃ ‘miːzlz ˈtɒpsə lz ˈaɪlz
ˈmisailz ˈsimiliz riˈvailz
‘həʊli ˈhɒli ‘sɪgnl ‘saɪnɪŋ
seɪm ɪgˈzæmɪnɪŋ bʌt ‘maɪnɪŋ
‘skɒlə ‘vɪkə ӕnd sɪ’gɑː
‘səʊlə ‘maɪkə wɔː ӕnd fɑː
frɒm dɪ’zaɪə dɪ’zaɪrəbəl ‘ædmɪrəbəl frɒm ædˈmaɪə
‘lʌmbə ‘plʌmə bɪə bʌt ‘braɪə
ˈtɒpsəm [ˈtɒpʃəm] ‘bruːm rɪ’naʊn bʌt nəʊn
‘nɒlɪʤ dʌn ləʊn gɒn nʌn təʊn
wʌn ə’nɛməniː bælˈmɒrəl
‘kɪʧɪn ‘laɪkn ˈlɔːndri ‘lɒrəl
‘gɜːtruːd ‘ʤɜːmən wɪnd ӕnd waind
bəʊ kaɪnd ‘kɪndrɪd kjuː mænkˈaɪnd
TheChaos.docx 2/8
The Chaos - Text & IPA transcription 02-05-2014 Rev. 13-03-2020; 19:04

Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather, ‘tɔːtəs ‘tɜːkwɔɪz ˈʃæmi [ˈʃæmɔɪ] ˈlɛðə

Reading, Reading, heathen, heather. ‘riːdɪŋ ‘rɛdɪŋ ‘hiːðn ‘hɛðə

This phonetic labyrinth ðɪs fəʊˈnɛtik ‘læbɪrɪnθ

Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth. gɪvz mɒs grəʊs brʊk brəʊʧ naɪnθ plɪnθ
Have you ever yet endeavoured hæv juː ‘ɛvə jɛt ɛnˈdɛvəd
To pronounce revered and severed, tə prəʊ’naʊns riˈvɪəd ӕnd ˈsɛvəd

Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul, ‘diːmən ‘lɛmən guːl faʊl səʊl
Peter, petrol and patrol? ‘piːtə ‘pɛtrəl ӕnd pə’trəʊl

Billet does not end like ballet; ‘bɪlɪt dʌz nɒt ɛnd laɪk ‘bæleɪ
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. buːˈkeɪ [ˈbuːkeɪ] ‘wɒlɪt ‘mælɪt ‘ʃæleɪ

Blood and flood are not like food, blʌd ӕnd flʌd ɑː nɒt laɪk fuːd

Nor is mould like should and would. nɔːrɪz məʊld laɪk ʃʊd ӕnd wʊd

Banquet is not nearly parquet, ‘bæŋkwɪt ɪz nɒt ˈnɪəli ‘pɑːki

Which exactly rhymes with khaki. wɪʧ ɪg’zæktli raɪmz wɪð ˈkɑːki
Discount, viscount, load and broad, ‘dɪskaʊnt ‘vaɪkaʊnt ləʊd ӕnd brɔːd

Toward, to forward, to reward, ˈtɔːd tu: ‘fɔːwəd tu: rɪ’wɔːd

Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet? ˈrɪkəʃeɪd ӕnd ˈkrəʊʃeiɪŋ krəʊ’keɪ

Right! Your pronunciation’s OK. raɪt jɔː prəʊnʌnsiːˈeɪʃənz əʊ’keɪ

Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, ‘raʊndɪd ‘wuːndɪd griːv ӕnd sɪv

Friend and fiend, alive and live. frɛnd ӕnd fiːnd ə’laɪv ӕnd lɪv

Is your R correct in higher? ɪz jɔː[r] ɑː kə’rɛkt ɪn ‘haɪə

Keats asserts it rhymes Thalia. kiːts ə’sɜːts ɪt raɪmz θə’laɪə
Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot, hjuː bʌt hʌg ӕnd hʊd bʌt huːt

Buoyant, minute, but Minute. ‘bɔɪənt ‘mɪnɪt bʌt maiˈnjuːt

Say abscission with precision, seɪ æb’sɪʃən wɪð prɪˈsɪʒən
Now: position and transition; naʊ pəˈziʃən ӕnd trɑːnˈsiʒən

Would it tally with my rhyme wʊd ɪt ‘tæli wɪð maɪ raɪm

If I mentioned paradigm? ɪf aɪ ˈmɛnʃn ‘pærədaɪm
Twopence, threepence, tease are easy, ‘tʌpəns ‘θrɪpəns tiːz ɑː ‘iːzi
But cease, crease, grease and greasy? bʌt siːs kriːs griːs ӕnd ‘griːzi

Cornice, nice, valise, revise, ‘kɔːnɪs naɪs və’liːs rɪ’vaɪz

Rabies, but lullabies. ‘reɪbiːz bʌt ˈlʌləbaiz
Of such puzzling words as nauseous, əv sʌʧ ˈpʌzlɪŋ wɜːdz əz ˈnɔːʃəs
Rhyming well with cautious, tortious, ‘raɪmɪŋ wɛl wɪð ‘kɔːʃəs ‘tɔːʃəs

You’ll envelop lists, I hope, juːl ɪnˈvɛləp lɪsts aɪ həʊp

In a linen envelope. ɪn ə ‘lɪnɪn ‘ɛnvələʊp
Would you like some more? You’ll have it! wʊd juː laɪk sʌm mɔə juːl hæv ɪt
Affidavit, David, davit. æfɪ’deɪvɪt ‘deɪvɪd ‘dævɪt

To abjure, to perjure. Sheik tə æb’ʤʊə tu: ‘pɜːʤə ʃeik

Does not sound like Czech but ache. dʌz nɒt saʊnd laɪk ʧɛk bʌt eɪk

WillSnellen TheChaos.docx 3/8

The Chaos - Text & IPA transcription
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed but vowed.
Mark the difference, moreover,
Between mover, plover, Dover.
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice,
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, penal, and canal,
Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal,
Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit
Rhyme with shirk it and beyond it,
But it is not hard to tell
Why it’s pall, mall, but Pall Mall.
Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron,
Timber, climber, bullion, lion,
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor,
ɪvy, privy, famous; clamour
Has the A of drachm and hammer.
Pussy, hussy and possess,
Desert, but desert, address.
Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants
Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants.
Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb,
Cow, but Cowper, some and home.
Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker,
Quoth he, than liqueur or liquor,
Making, it is sad but true,
In bravado, much ado.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant.
Arsenic, specific, scenic,
Relic, rhetoric, hygienic.
Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close,
Paradise, rise, rose, and dose.
WillSnellen
02-05-2014 Rev. 13-03-2020; 19:04
‘lɪbəti ‘laɪbrəri hiːv ӕnd ‘hɛvən
rə’ʃɛl lɒx mʊ’stɑːʃ ɪ’lɛvən
wiː seɪ ‘hæləʊd bʌt ə’laʊd
‘piːpl ‘lɛpəd təʊd bʌt vaʊd
mɑːk ðə ‘dɪfərəns mɔə’rəʊvə
bɪ’twiːn ‘muːvə ‘plʌvə ‘dəʊvə
‘liːʧɪz ‘brɪʧɪz waɪz prɪ’saɪs
‘ʧælɪs bʌt pə’liːs ӕnd laɪs
‘kæməl ˈkʌnstəbəl ʌn’steɪbəl
‘prɪnsɪpl dɪ’saɪpəl ‘leɪbəl
‘pɛtl ‘piːnəl ӕnd kə’næl
weɪt sə’maɪz plæt ‘prɒmɪs pæl
sjuːt swiːt ‘ruːin ‘sɜːkɪt ‘kʌndit
raɪm wɪð ʃɜːk ɪt ӕnd bi’jɒnd ɪt
bʌt ɪt ɪz nɒt hɑːd tu: tɛl
waɪ ɪts pɔːl mɔːl bʌt pɛl mɛl
‘mʌsl ‘mʌskjʊlə ʤeɪl ‘aɪən
‘tɪmbə ‘klaɪmə ‘bʊjən [‘bʊlɪən] ‘laɪən
wɜːm ӕnd stɔːm ʃeɪz ‘keɪɒs ʧɛə
‘sɛnətə spɛk’teɪtə mɛə
‘aɪvi ‘prɪvi ‘feɪməs ‘klæmə
həz ðə eɪ ɒv dræm ӕnd ‘hæmə
‘pʊsi ‘hʌzi ӕnd pə’zɛs
dɪ’zɜːt bʌt ˈdɛzət ə’drɛs
gɒlf wʊlf ‘kaʊntɪnəns lɛfˈtɛnənts
hɔɪst ɪn ljuː ɒv flægz lɛft ˈpɛnənts
ˈkʊrɪə ‘kɔətɪə tuːm bɒm kəʊm
kaʊ bʌt ˈkuːpə sʌm ӕnd həʊm
ˈsɒldə [ˈsəʊdə] ‘səʊlʤə blʌd ɪz ‘θɪkə
kwəʊθ hiː ðæn liˈkjʊə ɔ: ‘lɪkə
‘meɪkɪŋ ɪt ɪz sæd bʌt truː
ɪn brə’veidəʊ mʌʧ ə’duː
‘streɪnʤə dʌz nɒt raɪm wɪð ‘æŋgə
ˈnaiðə [ˈniːðə] dʌz dɪ’vaʊə wɪð ‘klæŋgə
‘paɪlət ‘pɪvət gɔːnt bʌt ɑːnt
fɒnt frʌnt wəʊnt wɒnt grænd ӕnd grɑːnt
‘ɑːsnɪk spɛˈsɪfɪk ‘siːnɪk
‘rɛlɪk ‘rɛtərɪk haɪ’ʤiːnɪk
ˈgʊzbərɪ guːs ӕnd kləʊz bʌt kləʊs
‘pærədaɪs raɪz rəʊz ӕnd dəʊs
TheChaos.docx 4/8
The Chaos - Text & IPA transcription
Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle,
Make the latter rhyme with eagle.
Mind! Meandering but mean,
Valentine and magazine.
And ɪ bet you, dear, a penny,
You say manifold like many,
Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier,
Tier (one who ties), but tier.
Arch, archangel; pray, does erring
Rhyme with herring or with stirring?
Prison, bison, treasure trove,
Treason, hover, cover, cove,
Perseverance, severance. Ribald
Rhymes (but piebald doesn’t) with nibbled.
Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw,
Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw.
Don’t be down, my own, but rough it,
And distinguish Buffet, buffet;
Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon,
Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn.
Say in sounds correct and sterling
Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling.
Evil, devil, mezzotint,
Mind the Z! (A gentle hint.)
Now you need not pay attention
To such sounds as ɪ don’t mention,
Sounds like pores, pause, pours and paws,
Rhyming with the pronoun yours;
Nor are proper names included,
Though ɪ often heard, as you did,
Funny rhymes to unicorn,
Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan.
No, my maiden, coy and comely,
ɪ don’t want to speak of Cholmondeley.
No. Yet Froude compared with proud
ɪs no better than McLeod.
But mind trivial and vial,
Tripod, menial, denial,
Troll and trolley, realm and ream,
Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme.
WillSnellen
02-05-2014 Rev. 13-03-2020; 19:04
seɪ ɪn’veɪ neɪ bʌt ɪn’viːgl
meɪk ðə ‘lætə raɪm wɪð ‘iːgl
maɪnd miːˈændərɪŋ bʌt miːn
‘væləntaɪn ӕnd mægəˈziːn
nd aɪ bɛt juː dɪərə ‘pɛni
juː seɪ ‘mænifəʊld laɪk ‘mɛni
wɪʧ ɪz rɒŋ seɪ ‘reɪpɪə pɪə
‘taɪə wʌn hʊ taɪz bʌt tɪə
ɑːʧ ‘ɑːk’eɪnʤəl preɪ dʌz ‘ɜːrɪŋ
raɪm wɪð ‘hɛrɪŋ ɔ: wɪð ‘stɜːrɪŋ
‘prɪzn ‘baɪsən ‘trɛʃə trəʊv
‘triːzn ˈhɒvə ˈkʌvə kəʊv
pɜːsiˈvɪərəns ‘sɛvərəns ‘rɪbəld
raɪmz bʌt ‘paɪbɔːld ‘dʌznt wɪð ‘nɪbld
‘feɪɪtn ‘piːən næt gɔːt nɔː
ˈliːən ‘saɪkɪk ʃɒn bəʊn ʃɔː
dəʊnt biː daʊn maɪ əʊn bʌt rʌf ɪt
ӕnd dɪs’tɪŋgwɪʃ ˈbʊfei ˈbʌfit
bruːd stʊd ruːf rʊk skuːl wʊl buːn
‘wʊstə ‘bʊlɪn tu: ɪm’pjuːn
seɪ ɪn saʊndz kə’rɛkt ӕnd ‘stɜːlɪŋ
hɜːs hɪə ‘hɑːkn jɪə ӕnd ‘jɜːliŋ
‘iːvl ‘dɛvl ˈmɛdzəʊtint
maɪnd ðə zɛd eɪ ‘ʤɛntl hɪnt
naʊ juː niːd nɒt peɪ ə’tɛnʃən
tə sʌʧ saʊndz əz aɪ dəʊnt ‘mɛnʃən
saʊndz laɪk pɔəz pɔːz pɔəz ӕnd pɔːz
‘raɪmɪŋ wɪð ðə ‘prəʊnaʊn jɔːz
nɔː ɑː ‘prɒpə neɪmz ɪn’kluːdɪd
ðəʊ aɪ ˈɔːfən hɜːd əz juː dɪd
‘fʌni raɪmz tu: ‘juːnɪkɔːn
jɛs juː nəʊ ðɛm vɔːn ӕnd strɔːn
nəʊ maɪ ‘meɪdn kɔi ӕnd ˈkʌmli
aɪ dəʊnt wɒnt tu: spiːk ɒv kəl’mʌndli
nəʊ jɛt fruːd kəm’pɛəd wɪð praʊd
ɪz nəʊ ‘bɛtə ðæn məˈklaʊd
bʌt ‘trɪvɪəl ӕnd ‘vaɪəl
‘traɪpɒd ‘miːnɪəl dɪ’naɪəl
trəʊl ӕnd ‘trɒli rɛlm ӕnd riːm
‘ʃɛʤuːl ‘mɪstʃɪf sɪzəm ӕnd skiːm
TheChaos.docx 5/8
The Chaos - Text & IPA transcription
Argil, Gill, Argyll, gill. Surely
May be made to rhyme with Raleigh,
But you’re not supposed to say
Piquet rhymes with sobriquet.
Had this invalid ɪnvalid
Worthless documents? How pallid,
How uncouth he, couchant, looked,
When for Portsmouth ɪ had booked!
Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite,
Paramour, enamoured, flighty,
Episodes, antipodes,
Acquiesce, and obsequies.
Please don’t monkey with the geyser,
Don’t peel taters with my razor,
Rather say in accents pure:
Nature, stature and mature.
Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly,
Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly,
Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan,
Wan, sedan and artisan.
The TH will surely trouble you
More than R, CH or W.
Say then these phonetic gems:
Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames.
Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham,
There are more but ɪ forget them
Wait! ɪ’ve got it: Anthony,
Lighten your anxiety.
The archaic word albeit
Does not rhyme with eight-you see it;
With and forthwith, one has voice,
One has not, you make your choice.
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say: finger;
Then say: singer, ginger, linger.
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, age,
Hero, heron, query, very,
Parry, tarry, fury, bury,
Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth,
Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath.
WillSnellen
02-05-2014 Rev. 13-03-2020; 19:04
‘ɑːʤɪl ʤɪl ɑː’gaɪl gɪl ˈʃɔːli
meɪ biː meɪd tu: raɪm wɪð ‘rɔːli
bʌt jɔː nɒt sə’pəʊzd tu: seɪ
pɪˈkɛt raɪmz wɪð ˈsəʊbrikei
hæd ðɪs ‘invəlid ɪn’vælɪd
‘wɜːθlɪs ˈdɒkjʊmənts haʊ ‘pælɪd
haʊ ʌn’kuːθ hiː ‘kaʊʧənt lʊkt
wɛn fɔː ˈpɔətsməθ aɪ hæd ‘bʊkt
zjuːs θiːbz ‘θeɪliːz æfrəʊ’daɪti
‘pærəmʊə ɛˈnæməd ‘flaɪti
ˈɛpɪsəʊdz æn’tɪpədiːz
ækwiː’ɛs ӕnd ˈɒbsikwiːz
pliːz dəʊnt ‘mʌŋki wɪð ðə ˈgeizə
dəʊnt piːl ˈteitəz wɪð maɪ ‘reɪzə
ˈrɑːðə seɪ ɪn ˈæksənts pjʊə
‘neɪʧə ˈstætjə ӕnd mə’tjʊə
‘paɪəs ‘ɪmpɪəs lɪm klaɪm ˈglʌmli
‘wʊstɪd ˈwɜːstid ˈkrʌmbli dʌmli
‘kɒŋkə ‘kɒŋkwɛst vɑːz feɪz fæn
wɒn sɪ’dæn ӕnd ɑːtɪ’zæn
ði ˈtiːˈeɪʧ wɪl ˈʃʊəli ‘trʌbəl juː
mɔə ðæn ɑː ‘siː’eitʃ ɔ: ‘dʌbljuː
seɪ ðɛn ðiːz fəʊˈnɛtik ʤɛmz
‘tɒməs taɪm tə’riːsə tɛmz
‘tɒmpsən ‘ʧætəm ‘wɒltəm ‘strɛtəm
ðɛə ɑː mɔə bʌt aɪ fə’gɛt ðɛm
weɪt aɪv gɒt ɪt ‘æntəni
‘laɪtn jɔː æŋ’zaɪəti
ði ɑː’keɪɪk wɜːd ɔːl’biːɪt
dʌz nɒt raɪm wɪð eɪt juː siː ɪt
wɪð ӕnd fɔəθˈwiθ wʌn həz vɔɪs
wʌn həz nɒt juː meɪk jɔː ʧɔis
ʃuːz gəʊz dʌz naʊ fɜːst seɪ ‘fɪŋgə
ðɛn seɪ ˈsiŋə ‘ʤɪnʤə ‘lɪŋgə
ˈriːəl ziːl məʊv gɔːz ӕnd geɪʤ
ˈmæridʒ ‘fəʊliɪʤ mɪ’rɑːʒ eɪʤ
‘hɪərəʊ ‘hɛrən ˈkwɪəri ‘vɛri
‘pæri ‘tæri ‘fjʊəri ‘bɛri
dʌst lɒst pəʊst ӕnd dʌθ klɒθ ləʊθ
ʤɒb ʤəʊb ‘blɒsəm ‘bʊzəm əʊθ
TheChaos.docx 6/8
The Chaos - Text & IPA transcription 02-05-2014 Rev. 13-03-2020; 19:04

Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners, fɔː ə’pʌgnənt kiːn əˈpjuːnəz

Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners ‘bəʊɪŋ ˈbaʊiŋ ˈbænʤəʊ ˈtjuːnəz

Holm you know, but noes, canoes, həʊm juː nəʊ bʌt nəʊz kənˈuːz
Puisne, truism, Use, to use? ‘pjuːni ‘truːɪzəm juːs tu: juːz
Though the difference seems little, ðəʊ ðə ‘dɪfərəns siːmz ‘lɪtl
We say actual, but victual, wiː seɪ ‘æktjuːəl bʌt ‘vɪtl
Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height, siːt swɛt ʧeɪst kɑːst liː eɪt haɪt
Put, nut, granite, and unite. pʊt nʌt ‘grænɪt ӕnd juː’naɪt

Reefer does not rhyme with deafer, ‘riːfə dʌz nɒt raɪm wɪð dɛfə
Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer. ‘fɛfə dʌz ӕnd ‘zɛfə ‘hɛfə

Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late, dʌl bʊl ‘ʤɛfri ʤɔːʤ ɛt leɪt
Hint, pint, senate, but sedate. hɪnt paɪnt ‘sɛnɪt bʌt sɪ’deɪt
Gaelic, Arabic, pacific, ‘geɪlɪk ‘ærəbɪk pə’sɪfɪk
Science, conscience, scientific; ‘saɪəns ˈkɒnʃəns saɪəntˈɪfɪk
Tour, but our, dour, succour, four, tʊə bʌt aʊə dʊə ‘sʌkə fɔə
Gas, alas, and Arkansas. gæs ə’lɑːs ӕnd ‘ɑːkənsɔː

Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit, seɪ mə’njuːvə jɒt ӕnd ‘vɒmɪt

Next omit, which differs from it nɛkst əʊ’mɪt wɪʧ ˈdɪfəz frɒm ɪt
Bona fide, alibi ‘bəʊnə ˈfaidi ‘ælɪbaɪ
Gyrate, dowry and awry. ‘ʤaɪəreɪt ‘daʊri ӕnd ə’raɪ

Sea, idea, guinea, area, siː aɪ’dɪə ‘gɪni ‘ɛərɪə

Psalm, Maria, but malaria. sɑːm mə’rɪə bʌt mə’lɛərɪə
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean, juːθ saʊθ ‘sʌðən klɛnz ӕnd kliːn

Doctrine, turpentine, marine. ‘dɒktrɪn ‘tɜːpəntaɪn mə’riːn

Compare alien with ɪtalian, kəm’pɛə ‘eɪlɪən wɪð ɪ’tælɪən
Dandelion with battalion, ˈdnilaɪən wɪð bə’tælɪən

Rally with ally; yea, ye, ‘ræli wɪð əˈlai jeɪ jiː
Eye, ɪ, ay, aye, whey, key, quay! aɪ aɪ eɪ eɪ weɪ kiː kiː
Say aver, but ever, fever, seɪ əˈvɜː bʌt ‘ɛvə ‘fiːvə
Neither, leisure, skein, receiver. ˈnaiðə ˈlɛʒə skeɪn rɪ’siːvə
Never guess-it is not safe, ‘nɛvə gɛs ɪt ɪz nɒt seɪf
We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf. wiː seɪ kɑːvz vælvz hɑːf bʌt reɪf
Starry, granary, canary, ‘stɑːri ‘grænəri kə’nɛəri
Crevice, but device, and eyrie, ‘krɛvɪs bʌt dɪ’vaɪs ӕnd ‘ɛəri

Face, but preface, then grimace, feɪs bʌt ‘prɛfɪs ðɛn griˈmeis
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass. flɛm flɛg’mætɪk æs glɑːs beis
Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging, bæs lɑːʤ ‘tɑːgɪt ʤɪn gɪv ˈvɜːʤɪŋ
Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging; ɔːt aʊst ʤaʊst ӕnd skaʊə bʌt ‘skɜːdʒiŋ

Ear, but earn; and ere and tear ɪə bʌt ɜːn ӕnd ɛə ӕnd tɛə

Do not rhyme with here but heir. duː nɒt raɪm wɪð hɪə bʌt ɛə

WillSnellen TheChaos.docx 7/8

The Chaos - Text & IPA transcription
Mind the O of off and often
Which may be pronounced as orphan,
With the sound of saw and sauce;
Also soft, lost, cloth and cross.
Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting?
Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting.
Respite, spite, consent, resent.
Liable, but Parliament.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk,
Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work.
A of valour, vapid vapour,
S of news (compare newspaper),
G of gibbet, gibbon, gist,
I of antichrist and grist,
Differ like diverse and divers,
Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers.
Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll,
Polish, polish, Poll and poll.
Pronunciation, think of Psyche,
Is a paling, stout and spiky.
Won’t it make you lose your wits
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel
Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale,
Islington, and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Don’t you think so, reader, rather,
Saying lather, bather, father?
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough?
Hiccough has the sound of sup.
My advice is: GIVE IT UP!
WillSnellen
02-05-2014 Rev. 13-03-2020; 19:04
maɪnd ðə əʊ ɒv ɒf ӕnd ˈɔːfən
wɪʧ biː prəʊ’naʊnst əz ‘ɔːfən
wɪð ðə saʊnd ɒv sɔː ӕnd sɔːs
‘ɔːlsəʊ sɒft lɒst klɒθ ӕnd krɔːs
‘pʊdɪŋ ‘pʌdl ˈpʊtɪŋ ˈpʌtɪŋ
jɛs æt gɒlf ɪt raɪmz wɪð ‘ʃʌtɪŋ
‘rɛspɪt spaɪt kən’sɛnt rɪ’zɛnt
‘laɪəbəl bʌt ˈpɑːlɪmənt
‘sɛvən ɪz raɪt bʌt səʊ ɪz ‘iːvən
‘haɪfən ‘rʌfn ‘nɛvjuː ‘stiːvən
‘mʌŋki ˈdɒŋki klɑːk ӕnd ʤɜːk
æsp grɑːsp wɒsp dɪ’meɪn kɔːk wɜːk
eɪ ɒv ‘vælə ‘væpɪd ‘veɪpə
ɛs ɒv njuːz kəm’pɛə ‘njuːspeɪpə
ʤiː ɒv ‘ʤɪbɪt ‘gɪbən ʤɪst
aɪ ɒv ‘æntɪkraɪst ӕnd grɪst
‘dɪfə laɪk daɪˈvɜːs ӕnd ‘daɪvəz
‘rɪvəz ˈstraivəz ‘ʃɪvəz ‘faivəz
wʌns bʌt nɒns təʊl dɒl bʌt rəʊl
‘pəʊlɪʃ ‘pɒlɪʃ pɒl ӕnd pəʊl
prəʊnʌnsiːˈeɪʃən θɪŋk ɒv ‘saɪki
ɪz ə ‘peɪlɪŋ staʊt ӕnd ‘spaɪki
wəʊnt ɪt meɪk juː luːz jɔː wɪts
‘raɪtɪŋ grəʊts ӕnd ‘seɪɪŋ grɪts
ɪts ə dɑːk ə’bɪs ɔ: ‘tʌnl
struːn wɪð stəʊnz laɪk ‘rɒlək ˈgʌnl
‘ɪzlɪŋtn ndaɪl ɒv waɪt
ˈhʌzif ‘vɜːdɪkt ӕnd ɪn’daɪt
dəʊnt juː θɪŋk səʊ ‘riːdə ˈrɑːðə
‘seɪɪŋ ‘læðə ‘beɪðə ‘fɑ:ðə
‘faɪnəli wɪʧ raɪmz wɪð ɪ’nʌf
ðəʊ θruː baʊ kɒf hɒk sʌf tʌf
ˈhikʌp həz ðə saʊnd ɒv sʌp
maɪ əd’vaɪs ɪz gɪv ɪt ʌp
TheChaos.docx 8/8