GRATITUDE

The term gratitude is derived from the Latin concept gratia, which entails some variant of
grace, gratefulness, and graciousness (Emmons, McCullough, & Tsang, 2003).

The ideas flowing from this Latin root pertain to "kindness, generousness, gifts, the beauty of
giving and receiving" (Pruyser, 1976, p. 69). In the words of noted University of California-
Davis researcher Robert Emmons (2005, personal communication), gratitude emerges upon
recognizing that one has obtained a positive outcome from another individual who behaved in a
way that was

(1) Costly to him or her,

(2) Valuable to the recipient, and

(3) Intentionally rendered.

As such, gratitude taps into the propensity to appreciate and Savor everyday events and
experiences (Bryant, 1989; Langston, 1994).

In Emmons's definition, the positive outcome appears to have come from another person;
however, the benefit may be derived from a nonhuman action or event.

For example, the individual who has undergone a traumatic natural event such as a family
member's survival of a hurricane (see Coffman, 1996) feels a profound sense of gratitude. In a
related vein, it has been suggested that events of larger magnitude also should produce higher
levels of gratitude (Trivers, 1971). Moreover, Ortony, Clore, and Collins (1988) have reasoned
that gratitude should be greater when the giving person's actions are judged praiseworthy and
when they deviate positively from that which was expected.

In yet another example of gratitude, a person may have come through a major medical
crisis or problem and discover benefits in that experience (Affleck &Tennen, 1996). This latter
process is called benefit finding. As is the case with altruism, it is likely that the ability to
empathize is a necessary condition for feeling gratitude toward another person (McCullough,
2005, personal communication).
 Gratitude is viewed as a prized human propensity in the Hindu, Buddhist, Muslim,
Christian, and Jewish traditions (Emmons et aI. 2003).

On this point, philosopher David Hume (1888, p. 466) went so far as to say that
ingratitude is "the most horrible and unnatural of all crimes that humans are capable of
committing." According to medieval scholar Thomas Aquinas (127311981), not only was
gratitude seen as beneficial to the individual, but it also serves as a motivational force for human
altruism.f the many famous thinkers who commented on gratitude, only Aristotle (trans. 1962)
viewed it unfavorably. In his opinion, magnanimous people are adamant about their self-
sufficiencies and, accordingly, view gratitude as demeaning and reflective of needless
indebtedness to others.

CULTIVATING GRATITUDE

We begin this section with the words of the writer Charles Dickens (1897, p. 45),
"Reflect on your present blessings, of which every man has many, not on your past misfortunes,
of which all men have some." In more recent times, psychologists Robert Emmons and Michael
McCullough have explored a variety of ways to help people enhance their sense of gratitude (for
reviews, see Bono, Emmons, & McCullough, 2004; Emmons & Hill, 2001; Emmons &
McCullough, 2004; Emmons & Shelton, 2002; McCullough, Kilpatrick, Emmons, & Larson,
2001). These interventions aimed at enhancing gratitude consistently have resulted in benefits.
For example, in comparison to people who recorded either neutral or negative (life stresses) in
their diaries, those who kept weekly gratitude journals (i.e., recorded events for which they were
thankful) were superior in terms of (1) the amount of exercise undertaken, (2) optimism about
the upcoming week, and (3) feeling better about their lives (Emmons & McCullough, 2003).
Furthermore, those who kept gratitude journals reported greater enthusiasm, alertness, and
determination, and they were significantly more likely to make progress toward important goals
pertaining to their health, interpersonal relationships, and academic performances. Indeed, those
who were in the "count your blessings" diary condition also were more likely to have helped
another person. Finally, in a third study in Emmons and McCullough's (2003) trilogy, people
with neuromuscular conditions were randomly assigned to either a gratitude condition or a
control condition. Results showed that those in the former condition were (1 ) more optimistic,
(2) more energetic, (3) more connected to other people, and (4) more likely to have restful sleep.
A Japanese form of meditation known as Naikan enhances a person's sense of gratitude (Krech,
2001). Using Naikan, one learns to meditate daily on three gratitude-related questions: First,
what did I receive?

Second, what did I give? And third, what troubles and difficulties did I cause to others? In
Western societies, we may be rather automatic in our expectations of material comforts; gratitude
meditation helps to bring this process more into awareness so we can learn how to appreciate
such blessings.

One additional comment is noteworthy in regard to gratitude and motivation. In an interview, Dr.
Emmons (2004) was asked about the mostommon incorrect assumption that people make about
his work on gratitude.

In response, he observed that many people assume that gratefulness is synonymous with lack of
motivation and greater complacency in life. He then noted that he had never seen a case where
gratitude was linked to passivity.

On the contrary, gratitude is an active and affirming process, and we share some of the clinical
approaches we have used to facilitate it in the Personal Mini-Experiments on pages 271 to 272
(see also Bono et al., 2004). We also present an editorial on the importance of thanking others.

MEASURING GRATITUDE

Several approaches have been taken to measure gratitude. One tactic was to ask people to
list the things about which they felt grateful (Gallup Poll Monthly, 1996).

This simple method allowed researchers to find those events that produced gratefulness. Another
strategy was to take the stories that people wrote about their lives and code these vignettes for
gratefulness themes. In this latter approach, Barusch (1999) was surprised to find that gratitude
was a common response among older women who were living in poverty. In another study, one
in which the findings were more consistent with the researchers' expectations,

Bernstein and Simmons (1974) found that kidney recipients frequently cited their
gratitude toward their donors.

Moreover, the survivors of Hurricane Andrew commonly expressed gratitude for having lived
through this natural disaster (Coffman, 1996).
Some attempts also have been made to measure gratitude behaviorally.

For example, whether children said thank you during their door-to-door Halloween trick-or-treat
rounds was used as an unprompted index of gratitude (Becker & Smenner, 1986). Similarly, the
grateful responses of people receiving food in a soup kitchen have been quantified (Stein, 1989).

Working in the context of an overall index called the Multidimensional Prayer Inventory,
Laird and his colleagues (Laird, Snyder, Rapoff, & Green, 2004) have developed and validated a
3-item Thanksgiving self-report subscale on which people respond along a 7-point response scale
(1 = Never to 7 = All of the time) to each item. The three Thanksgiving items are "I offered
thanks for specific things,""I expressed my appreciation for my circumstances:' and "I thanked
God for things occurring in my life."

This Thanksgiving subscale of the Multidimensional Prayer Inventory obviously is

worded in terms of religious prayer, and higher scores have correlated with stronger religious
practices such as prayer.

Finally, there are two trait-like self-report measures of gratitude that do not inherently
link the wording of the items to religious prayer. The first such measure is the Gratitude,
Resentment, and Appreciation Test (GRAT), a 44-item index developed and validated by
Watkins, Grimm, and Hailu (1998). The GRAT taps the three factors of resentment, simple
appreciation, and social appreciation.

The trait self-report index that appears to be most promising is the Gratitude
Questionnaire (GQ-6) (McCullough, Emmons, & Tsang, 2002; see also Emmons et aI., 2003).
The GQ-6 is a 6-item questionnaire (see Appendix B for the entire scale) on which respondents
endorse each item on a 7-point Likert scale (1 = strongly disagree to 7 = strongly agree).

Results show that the 6 items correlate strongly with each other, and one overall factor
seems to tap the scale content. Scores of the GQ-6 correlate reliably with peers' rating of target
persons' gratitude levels; people scoring high on this scale report feeling more thankful and more
grateful (Gray, Emmons, & Morrison, 2001). Additionally, this sense of appreciation as tapped
by the GQ-6 endured over a 21-day interval (McCullough, Tsang, & Emmons, 2004).
 Scores on the GQ-6 relate in predictable ways to other positive psychology constructs.
For example, higher gratitude on the GQ-6 correlated positively with elevated positive emotions,
vitality, optimism, hope, and satisfaction with life. Moreover, higher gratitude correlated
positively with empathy, sharing, forgiving, and giving one's time for the benefit of others.

Those who scored higher in gratitude are less concerned with material goods, and they
are more likely to engage in prayer and spiritual matters Gratitude in Islam by Maha Elgenaidi,
Executive Director.

This speech was delivered at an interfaith youth event on “Gratitude in Islam” at the
South Bay Islamic Association on November 18th, 2017. You can watch an excerpt from the
speech here.

Salam alaikum everyone. I want to start with a funny story that has a serious point.

Once upon a time, a King had a servant named Shukr (which means Grateful in Arabic).
The two men were very close friends, where the King took Shukr everywhere with him.

Shukr was suitably named, for he was always grateful to God for whatever he had and for
whatever situation he was in, a quality the King greatly admired.

The King loved to hunt, and so one day he and Shukr went out hunting in the forest. The King
shot and killed a deer. In response, Shukr cried, “Alhamdulillah! (Praise be to God!)”The two
men went to remove the arrow from the deer, but as they did so, the end of the King’s little
finger was severed or cut off.

“Alhamdulillah!” cried Shukr again. This time, however, Shukr’s gratitude angered the King,
and he had him thrown into prison.

“Alhamdulillah!” cried Shukr at this turn of events, surprising all those around him.

The next week, the King went hunting by himself. As he made his way through the forest, he
came across a tribe of primitive people. They seemed friendly and invited him to join in a sacred
meal. Little did he know that he was the main course!
They tied him up; but as they prepared him for the pot, one man noticed that his little finger was
cut off. Believing they could not offer a mutilated human being to their gods, they let him go
free.

Overjoyed to have been released, the King ran back to the city and to Shukr.

After hearing the King’s story, Shukr was beside himself, crying out again and again
“Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah!”

The King released him from jail, and Shukr went on crying out “Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah!
Alhamdulillah!”

Finding this ecstatic display of gratitude excessive even for Shukr, the King asked, why are you
so grateful?

Shukr replied, “Because if you hadn’t thrown me in jail, I would have gone hunting with you,
and the tribe would have eaten me instead of you!”[1]

There’s an underlying truth to this story that’s especially relevant as we get ready to celebrate
Thanksgiving, which certainly resonates with me as a Muslim, which is that, like Shukr in the
story, gratitude can save your life.

It may not save you from a tribe of hungry cannibals, but, as my faith teaches, it’s a crucial
necessity—perhaps the most crucial —if we’re to live lives that are worth living, lives of joy,
happiness, and service regardless of our circumstances.

The necessity of gratitude is a fundamental teaching of Islam. We owe thanks to God just for
being alive to be able to know God, an insight that Islam shares with other faiths; for example,
there is a Catholic hymn sung at every Sunday mass that says, “We give thanks to You for Your
great glory.”

And of course, gratitude reminds us that everything that happens to us comes from God and that
we shouldn’t take the many bounties in our lives for granted.

The Qur’an says: “And whatever of blessings and good things you have, it is from God” (16:53).

And gratitude is not just about giving credit where credit is due. Gratitude is essential for our
own spiritual and emotional well-being.
The Qur’an teaches this clearly. For instance, it says, “We bestowed wisdom on Luqman: ‘Show
gratitude to God. Anyone who is grateful does so to profit his own soul: but whoever is
ungrateful verily God is free of all wants worthy of praise.’” (31:12); and again, God says “Then
when (Solomon)) saw it placed before him [referring to the throne of the Queen of Sheba], he
said: ‘This is by the Grace of my Lord to test me whether I am grateful or ungrateful! And
whoever is grateful, truly, his gratitude is for (the good of) his own self, and whoever is
ungrateful, (he is ungrateful only for the loss of his own self). Certainly! My Lord is Rich (Free
of all wants), Bountiful.’” (27: 40)

So the ability to be grateful, for any little or major thing we have is a great blessing, and those of
us who nurture that sense within ourselves seek not only God’s pleasure but also our own
happiness, relieving ourselves of the many pressures and anxieties that face us in our daily lives.

Gratitude, especially in a time of difficulty, helps us to stay positive and thankful rather than
allowing ourselves to be crushed by adverse circumstances.

Anyone who’s gone through any sort of difficulty or is trying to overcome challenges in life,
knows and understands that it begins by a positive attitude, and you gain a positive attitude by
first accepting your predicament and even being grateful just for the knowledge of God to whom
we ask for help for overcoming difficulty.

Remaining in a state of gratitude helps us to recognize how much we have in our lives that many
others do not; it teaches us to count our blessings rather than look at what we are lacking.

Gratitude is a sense of fulfillment that comes not from wanting more but rather from knowing
that God has already blessed us with what we need.

It’s no wonder, then, that the prophet Muhammad (p) taught his followers the following
supplication: “Oh God help me to remember You, to be grateful to You and to worship You
properly.”

Remembrance of God, gratitude, and worship—are for Muslims the foundation of a happy life.

But gratitude not only pleases God and benefits those who are grateful—as all good things of the
spirit do – it extends these blessings to others.
For gratitude, if it is genuine, cannot be limited to gratitude to God. Part of being grateful is
remembering to express gratitude towards other people. The Prophet Muhammad (p) said, “He
who does not thank people, does not thank God” (Ahmad, Tirmidhi).

He also said: “Whoever does you a favor, then reciprocate, and if you cannot find anything with
which to reciprocate, then pray for that person until you think that you have reciprocated them.”
(Abu Dawood 1672)

I want to close with a story that I think embodies the meanings of gratitude in Islam that I’ve
been talking about.

There was a man named Abdullah who in his travels ended up on a small hill where he came
across a tent.

The tent was badly torn, and wind was blowing fiercely through it. So Abdullah peered in and
saw a very old man, blind, with no hands, no use of his legs; he was basically paralyzed.

All he was repeatedly saying as he laid on the ground was: “All Praise is due to God who has
preferred me (in blessings) to so many of His servants.”

Abdullah greeted the old man and said, “I am a traveler and wanted to ask you a question.”

The old man said: “I will respond to your question, but you must do me a favor first.”

Abdullah agreed, and then asked, “Why is it that I see you in the situation that you are in, that
you are not able to walk, you do not have hands, and you are blind. You do not have any wealth
whatsoever, and you are thanking God for preferring you over so many of His servants.”

The old man asks: “Do you not see that I am of sane mind?”

Abdullah replied: “Yes.”

The old man asked: “How many of the believers of God are insane?”

Abdullah said: “Many.”

The old man replied: “Then Alhamdulillah, (All Praise is due to God) who has preferred me over
so many of His insane servants.

Then he asked, “Do you not see that I am able to hear?”

Abdullah replied: “Yes.”

The old man asked: “How many of the servants of God are deaf?”Abdullah replied: “Many.”

The old man said: “Then Alhamdulillah who has preferred me over so many of His deaf slaves.”

The man goes on and on and points out that he can still speak while so many of the servants of
God are mute. He goes on to mention how he has been blessed with the belief in God while other
people are worshipping idols, etc.

Then Abdullah asked, “So what is the request that you have?”

The old man replied: “All my family members have died. The only one person I have left is a
small boy who brings food and helps me with everything as I cannot bring food or even feed
myself. Yesterday the boy went out, and he hasn’t come back until now. So will you help me
find him?”

So Abdullah went out in search of the boy. After a period of time, he learned from nearby
villagers that the boy had died.

Abdullah was tempted not to go back to the old man, but he couldn’t bring himself to do that. So,
he started making his way back and on the way he remembered the trials of the Prophet Ayyub
(Job), pbuh. He entered the tent.

The old man immediately knew that the boy was found. He asked, “Where did you find him?”

Abdullah said: “I will ask you a question first. Who is more beloved to God, you or His Prophet
Ayyub (Job)?”

The old man said: “No doubt it is Prophet Ayyub.”

Abdullah then asked: “Then who has had a more difficult test, you or His prophet Ayyub?”

The old man said: “No doubt His prophet Ayyub.”Abdullah then says: “Seek the reward then
from God. I found your boy but he has passed away.”

The Old man replies in supplication, saying: “La hawla wa laa quwwata illa billah. Inna lillahi
wa inna ilayhi raajioon. Ash-shadu la ilaha illa Allah.” (There is no power or might except with
God. Indeed to God we belong and to Him is our return. I testify that none is worthy of worship
but God.)

And the man kept repeating this supplication over and over again. He kept remembering God and
then started taking deep breaths until he finally died.

Abdullah then washed the body, wrapped it in a shroud, buried the man and prayed over him.

That night Abdullah saw the old man in a vision. The old man looked strong and young in his
30’s and in excellent health.

Abdullah asked him: “How did you get here? How did you become better? How did you change
so much?”

The old man replied: “My Lord brought me into paradise, and it was said to me, ‘Peace be unto
you for what you have borne patiently, and what a good end you got.’[2]

This story of the old man is a reminder for us, and a metaphor that each one of us is in reality
entirely dependent on God, whether we recognize it or not. We work hard to earn a living, we
bear children that we raise, we study and get a good education, and we put in a lot of effort to
have a decent life. But ultimately the good life we have is but a blessing of God.

The old man enters Paradise, as hopefully we will, for having forbearance, fortitude as well as
trust in and gratitude to God, as God promises in the Quran, If you are thankful, then I will
increase you. [Quran 14:7]