1. READ THE FIRST ESSAY ONCE OVER WITHOUT MARKING ON IT.

First Essay ONLY- COMMENTARY/ANALYSIS EDITING

2. Read the Commentary/Analysis, slowly and carefully.
Scale: 1 = standard not met;  2 = standard partially met;  3 = standard met;  4 = exceeds expectations

Criteria 1 2 3 4 Feedback
If not a 4, tell them what to
improve upon, specifically.
If a 4, tell them what they
have done well specifically.

Analysis/Commentary is actually a piece of There is a quite a bit of

analysis and is not plot summary or
3 summary that I cant tell if it
paraphrase of plot or evidence. If not, write
“more analysis” next to where deeper is supposed to be evidence
analysis needs to be done in the essay.
or analysis as there are no
page numbers

Analysis/Commentary furthers the thesis. If 3 Mostly there, There are a

it is not relevant write “too far” next to
few times when you were
where it. If it does not further the thesis,
write “further thesis” in areas where this taking it in a good direction
needs to be done.
but didn’t fully finish your
thought process.

Analysis/Commentary is focused. If not, 4 You do a good job of staying

write “re-focus” next to where focus is lost.
focused along an idea with
your analysis throughout
each paragraph

The analysis/commentary is really digging There are a couple

into the evidence to interpret and apply it
examples I have marked
to make connections to support the thesis.
3
The analysis/commentary really sticks with where you have some
the evidence to really squeeze every piece
ability to make even
of relevant analysis out of it. If not, write
“squeeze” next to where they can squeeze stronger connections to the
more analysis out.
thesis

Evidence used is great evidence; it is most 3 Im not exactly sure where

likely the best they could use for their
to write more evidence but
argument. If not, write “more evidence”
next to where it starts to be more it seems you have a lot of
superficial or surface level.
summary of the text in
 places and im not sure if its
intended to be evidence but
if it is a lot of it is surface
level and you don’t go into a
lot of depth with it

The analysis/commentary isn’t making a 4 You definitely go through

leap in logic. The evidence is well explored
and do mention graphic and
and analyzed before a conclusion is drawn.
(An example would be that any literary or literary elements in the text.
graphic elements within the evidence are
analyzed explored.) If not, write “not
convinced” next to areas where they need
to strengthen their logic.

It does not bring in new information that is 4 You stay very focused while
not supporting the argument or hop onto
at the same time bringing
other random topics. Organization makes
sense and there are varied transitions. If up other topics that are
the essay contains random info or topics,
relavent and important to
write “random” next to them.
your argument. Good job
READ THE ESSAY ONCE OVER WITHOUT MARKING ON IT.
Second Essay ONLY- CONCLUDING SENTENCE AND PARAGRAPH ANALYSIS
1. Read the concluding sentences and concluding paragraph, slowly and carefully.
Scale: 1 = standard not met;  2 = standard partially met;  3 = standard met;  4 = exceeds expectations

Criteria 1 2 3 4 Feedback
If not a 4, tell them what to
improve upon, specifically. If a 4,
tell them what they have done
well specifically.

Concluding sentences for each 2 Many of your concluding

paragraph still refer back to the thesis.
sentences for your shorter
If it does not, write “reference thesis”
next to where it occurs. paragraphs don’t seem to be
concluding sentences at all
rather just contnuations what
you were saying previously so
maybe consider adding some
sort of tie in at the end of those
rather than a piece of evidence

Concluding sentences wrap up and 4 You do a pretty good job

synthesize the points being made. If
wrapping things up even when
not, write “wrap-up” next to where
they need to improve. you were using your evidence in
the last sentence it does seem to
wrap up quite well.

Concluding sentences do not repeat 3 You don’t have much repeating

any information previously written,
information but in some of your
and it does not have any new
information. (Remember you have a endings that have quotes, it
word count! You don’t want to eat up
definitely seems like some new
precious words for something you’ve
already written multiple times.) If they information is being presented
do repeat, write “deja vu” next to
where the repetitiveness is occurring.

Conclusion paragraphs are where the 3 You definitely do well in bringing

magic happens. This concluding
more things in and concluding
paragraph feels like it’s making
magic!! If not, write “More magic!” somewhat well, it just feels like
next to their concluding paragraph.
there is something lacking
because its so short.

Conclusion paragraph sums up and 3 You synthesize your argument

synthesizes the most important piece
of information in the essay. If it does
not, write “synthesize” next to their
conclusion paragraph.
and some of the evidence you
brought up but I don’t see a
specific one above others being
synthesized

Conclusion paragraph focuses on what 4 You definitely make it convincing

the author believes and is speaking
and It definitely talks about a
about regarding themes as revealed
through the essay’s argument. This is theme of hadship you had
authentic and sways your opinion. If
mentioned
you feel swayed by their arguments,
write “I'm a believer.” If not, write
“not convinced.”

Conclusion paragraph is strong and 4 Good job. Its memorable

leaves a lasting impact on the reader.
If so, write “memorable”
 1. READ THE ESSAY ONCE OVER WITHOUT MARKING ON IT.
Third Essay ONLY- GENERAL ANALYSIS
2. Read the essay, slowly and carefully.
Scale: 1 = standard not met;  2 = standard partially met;  3 = standard met;  4 = exceeds expectations

Criteria 1 2 3 4 Feedback
If not a 4, tell them what to
improve upon, specifically. If a
4, tell them what they have
done well specifically.

The argument flows from point to 3 Most of your argument flows

point to point to. If not, write “awk” or
well, there are a few things I
“choppy” next to where the flow has
been broken. marked In your essay with
suggestions to make it flow a bit
better

The organization of this essay supports 3 Might consider moving start of

the argument in the best way possible.
third paragraph up to make it
If not, write “reorganize” where the
organizational issues begin. the second. It seems a little out
of place and a grater jump to
jump back and forth from
cultural ignorance

The vocabulary is clear and strong. If 4 Lots of good vocabulary use

not, write “clearer?” or “stronger?”
next to any areas of weaknesses.

The author uses too many $10 words 4 You used some good words that
and obscures his or her point. If so
were spaced out and far
write, “K.O.!” (knock out!) next to place
where it’s too much. between and I don’t think it
ever obscured your point

Examples/evidence are well-integrated. 3 Except for your 4th paragraph

The writer leads into the evidence
you do lead in pretty well and
well, so it does not disrupt the flow of
the essay. If not, write “lead-in.” your evidence is paraphrased
well and lead in to that.

Thesis statement is worded strongly. If 3 Your have super good ideas in

not, write “strengthen thesis.”
there, just try to rework it
because how it is phrased right
now it doesn’t feel as strong as

This is more subjective: The essay was
an enjoyable read. There was
something interesting or unique about
it. If so, write “Gold!” next to where
those moments in their essay are.
Write your own observation here about
anything you think they should add or
take away in general:
it could
4 It was interesting to read your
had good ideas, I wish you had
that third body paragraph
finished cuz it seems like it is
going to be pretty good
I fixed some of your formatting,
the way it was formatted before
made it difficult to read a lot
and try to review so consider
changing it on your final draft