Blank v.

Aniston

Jennifer Aniston and Phil N. Blank had been dating about a week when Jennifer
asked Phil to spend the night at Jennifer’s Malibu beach-front condo. They arrived late
on a Friday night and spent a romantic (though chaste) evening together. (It had only
been a week!). Phil woke early the next morning only to find that Jennifer was not in
bed. Phil assumed she was in the kitchen making him a cup of cappuccino. He rolled out
of bed thinking of what a catch Jennifer was and how the media loved them together.
(All those “People” and “Entertainment” magazine covers! All the paparazzi following
their every move—it all screamed “Phil N. Blank!”) He had had a few relationships go
really south on him, and he was hoping that he and Jennifer could make this one last a
while. (If they ever decided to get married, he was sure they could sell the wedding
photos for a tidy sum!)

He headed down the hall toward the kitchen, calling Jennifer’s name. She yelled
back from a room at the end of the hallway telling him to hurry to the kitchen, breakfast
was almost ready. Following her voice, he walked further down the hallway towards
what he thought must be the kitchen. Dreams of free publicity filled his head as he
walked. He reached the end of the hallway, turned the corner, and walked into the
kitchen. As he turned, he tripped over a pair of Jennifer’s size 8, natural linen Jimmy
Choo’s stiletto heels sitting in the middle of the floor. He stumbled over the shoes and
fell, landing hard on the white tile floor. He broke his ankle and dislocated a shoulder.
He was scheduled to start work in just two weeks on a big-budget action film that was
sure to revive his stalled career. Due to his injuries, he was forced to withdraw from the
picture.

On advice of his agent, Ari Gold, Blank sued Aniston for the loss of income due
to this accident. Though Blank felt bad suing Jennifer, Ari assured him it was the right
thing to do. “Forget love, baby. It’s all about money” was Ari’s mantra.