How to Be Happy

Have you ever wondered what you can do to make the one life you have the best life

possible? In his Ted Talk called “What Makes a Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Study on

Happiness,” Robert Waldinger explains a study he was involved in which was conducted in

order to answer this question. Robert and his team wanted to prove to the world that they could

solve the dreaded question that every person faces about what they should do to have a good life,

so they assembled a group of men to help them discover the answer. After 75 years of examining

participants for the study, researchers found that the overall best life was not obtained by fame or

fortune, but by relationships with people. Robert Waldinger wants the world to know that the

only thing people really need in their lives to be happy and fulfilled is good relationships with

other human beings.

Robert Waldinger applies ethos to his argument by explaining the extensive amount of

time spent on this study, the amount of participants, and the different methods of research used.

He first explains that this study is considered the longest study ever completed, taking place over

the course of 75 years. This proves to the audience that plenty of time has been taken in order to

provide evidence for the result of the study. In this study, the lives of 724 men were tracked from

the time they were teenagers to the time they were old men. They were asked about their work,

their home lives, their health, and more. Men of all types were followed; poor men, rich men,

family men, and men who live alone. They were videotaped, their medical records were

recorded, interviewers talked to their children, and they were interviewed themselves. By

showing the wide variety of people who were tracked, the amount of them, the time it took to

conduct this study, and the various components involved in completing this study, the audience
is able to see the substantial evidence provided in order to reach the conclusion that relationships

make people truly happy.

There is evidence of the use of pathos throughout many parts of Waldinger’s Ted Talk, as

it is about happiness, and everyone wants to feel happy. He connects his argument to the

psychological mindset of humans. He basically says, when we have a positive mindset, we are

emotionally and physically better off than when we have a negative mindset. The examples he

gives apply to a wide variety of people. He says that “people’s relationships differ in the midst of

conflict and in the midst of good, warm times. For example, he said the most happily partnered

men and women in their 80’s reported that on days where they experienced physical pain, their

mood remained happy. On the other hand, people who were not happily partnered in their 80’s

reported that on days where they experienced physical pain, the pain was intensified by further

emotional pain” (Waldinger, 8:30). This shows that our mood can affect how we feel in all

different aspects of life. Everyone wants to feel happy and everyone can understand how

negative relationships in life can drain a lot of energy. Robert also draws attention to the fact that

humans constantly search for validation through social connections. Everything we do is in order

to please others and be adored by others, from the way we dress, talk, interact with others, or go

about life. All humans can relate to needing validation in their lives. This use of pathos makes

the audience want to do all that they can in order to keep our minds and our bodies healthy.

The application of logos in Waldinger’s argument is provided by medical research done

inside and outside the study. It is proven that people who are not lonely live longer and healthier

lives than those who are lonely. The reason behind this is that people who are lonely have a

quicker decline in their brain function. When looking at brain functioning scans of people who

have unhappier relationships or none at all, you can tell their mental state is declining faster than
those who are happy. “If we can develop and maintain good, healthy, trusting relationships

throughout our lives and to our 80s, we can have memories that stay sharper for longer periods of

time” (Waldinger, 9:02). When people have good relationships in their lives that they can count

on, they don’t have unnecessary stress that takes a toll on their memories. Aside from the

physical issues related to loneliness, it can also lead to depression and anxiety, which are very

strenuous on the mind, but can also take repercussions on the body. This makes the audience

aware that there are severe dangers to our health involved with having a lack of adequate

relationships. The data discovered from the scans and the research are sufficient evidence to

show the audience that a positive mindset equals a happy, healthy life.

The one thing that Robert Waldinger and his fellow associates failed to consider in their

study was that they only studied the lives of men, instead of women. They tracked men of all

ages, following them from the time they were young to the time they grew old, but they

neglected the different ways in which men and women go about life. Although most people, no

matter their gender, rely on relationships to be happy, there could’ve been a slight change in their

research if they involved women. This study is a generalization that all people rely on

relationships to have a happy life, but because women were not involved, they cannot make this

claim intended for all types of people because all of the types of people were not included. This

is a major component that they missed, which could potentially lead to a fatal flaw in the

conclusion of their argument.

It seems simple, yet it is oh so very difficult, relationships keep people sane. The point

that Robert Waldinger is trying to make is that if we want to live our lives to the fullest, we need

to make lasting connections with people. We will live longer, healthier lives if we create lasting

relationships. People strive for superficial things in life like a beautiful house, car, or fancy
things, thinking that will keep them satisfied. They think if others are impressed by their physical

accomplishments, they will be happy. This is not the case. Happiness is a complicated concept

for the average human to grasp but it is very much in reach if we are reaching for the right

things. We all know the phrase, “money can’t buy happiness.” This study proves that point.

Relationships are hard and take work, but they are the only thing that will make us truly happy.
 Citations

Waldinger, Robert. “What Makes a Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness.”

TED, TEDxBeaconStreet, Nov. 2015,

www.ted.com/talks/robert_waldinger_what_makes_a_good_life_lessons_from_the_longest_stud

y_on_happiness.