Priscilla Aguilar

Mr. Smith

IB English 1

8 November 2020

Appreciation After War

During the Vietnam War, approximately 2 million Vietnamese civilians were killed and

5.3 million were injured either physically or mentally (bbc.com). Throughout history, thousands

of innocent lives have been lost due to horrendous events and the living must find a way to cope

with these tragic circumstances. This idea is equivalently demonstrated in the tragic poem,

“Kissing in Vietnamese”​, ​where the author, Ocean Vuong, expresses the trauma that is

deliberately passed down from generation to generation. In his poem, Ocean Vuong utilizes

appalling imagery and repetitive similes to portray the fear and uncertainty that remains

throughout generations, causing ordinary gestures to demonstrate appreciation and love.

After individuals deal with trauma for an extensive amount of time, living with fear

causes basic expressions to become significant in everyday life. Vuong utilizes the repeating

phrase “as if” to illustrate the fear and uncertainty his grandmother has due to the war but

illustrates her kisses create a sensational feeling of love. His grandmother “kisses as if bombs are

bursting in the backyard…” (Vuong lines 1-2). The bombs that his grandmother envisions

illustrate the threat that she presumes will endanger her family; her PTSD of the war causes her

to create false visualizations. Although it has been many years since the war, his grandmother

feels “as if history never ended” and imagines horrific images and bombs bursting instead of the

beautiful image of her family because of her PTSD from the Vietnam War (Vuong lines 18-19).

His grandmother unintentionally passes down her fear and causes her own family to internally
become aware of the uncertainty of one’s life. She kisses “as if [they] walk out the door, [their]

torso would dance from exit wounds” (Vuong lines 8-9). Vuong’s grandmother is pessimistic

because of her experience in the war; she has seen that innocent lives have been taken and is

terrified that the pure and innocent lives of her family members will be taken. She visualizes the

ghastly image of her family members being harmed because of soldiers that take the innocent

lives of the vietnamese civilians. His grandmother kisses “as if to breathe [them] insider her”

while her nose is pressed against their cheek “so that [their] scent is relearned and “[their] sweat

pearls into drops of gold insider her lungs” meanwhile she “holds [them as if] death also,

clutches [their] wrists (Vuong lines 13-17). Vuong’s grandmother undergoes a subliminal

experience and comes to the realization that when she sees her family, it brings her happiness

and gratitude. However, she constantly dreads that one day, her family may be gone and will

inevitably live with the trauma of the war. Ocean Vuong’s grandmother portrays the long lasting

effects of war which create false realities that lead to an intense amount of appreciation.

Overall, Ocean Vuong demonstrates how the inescapable trauma of the war leads one to

unwittingly show affection and gratitude towards loved ones. An individual that suffers from

trauma or PTSD must find a way to cope with the destructive experiences. The trauma of the war

and the perpetual fear of losing someone initiates future generations to endure the same fear of

losing a loved one in which they display similar gestures that demonstrate gratitude.

Meets Standard Approaching Standard Below Standard

(5 points) (3 points) (1 point)

Hook Strategy/ The hook is creative and The hook is somewhat The hook is either
Introduction engaging, introducing the engaging, though it could missing or completely
(10 Points) main topic of the essay in be more creative in lacking in creativity and
an interesting fashion capturing the reader’s engagement; there is no
 while also making a clear attention; the transition to clear transition between
and smooth connection to the poem is evident, the hook strategy and the
the poem though not very effective poem being discussed

Thesis Statement Thesis is clear, concise, Thesis attempts to Thesis is vague,

and argumentative; it answer the prompt, but is underdeveloped, and/or
effectively and accurately not specific or concise inaccurate; it does not
addresses all aspects of enough to provide clarity answer the prompt or
the prompt for the argument focus on the author’s craft

Topic Sentence The topic sentence is The topic sentence does The topic sentence is
clear, concise, and support the thesis unclear, ambiguous, or
argumentative; it statement and provide missing altogether; it
effectively supports a focus for analysis in the does not support the
specific argument paragraph, though the thesis statement or
defined in the thesis argument could be more provide focus for analysis
statement and provides a clear and concise
focus for analysis in the
paragraph

Textual Evidence Paragraph includes at Paragraph includes at Paragraph lacks the

least 3-5 pieces of strong least 2-3 pieces of textual necessary amount of
textual evidence, with evidence, though some textual evidence to
context for the reader’s context is missing for the effectively support the
understanding; all quotes reader’s understanding; thesis; context is missing
are woven and cited some quotes are woven and quotes are woven and
correctly and cited incorrectly cited incorrectly

Analysis Commentary Paragraph provides Paragraph includes Paragraph is limited in

ample commentary after commentary for each the essential amount of
each piece of evidence example, though the commentary needed to
that effectively explains analysis is limited in express a thorough
each example and nature and does not understanding of the play;
provides the necessary thoroughly explain each analysis is simplistic and
analysis to support the piece of textual evidence does not effectively prove
thesis the thesis

Conclusion Paragraph Conclusion is Conclusion is concise in Conclusion is

(10 Points) enlightening, inspiring, its summation and does considerably
and relevant to the leave the reader with a underdeveloped and/or
reader; it effectively relevant and interesting simply repeats ideas
connects back to hook idea to consider, though presented in the
idea or leaves the reader it is somewhat repetitive introductory paragraph
with an interesting idea of the thesis and
to consider introduction paragraph
 Syntax & Grammar Sentences are varied in Sentences are varied in Sentences are simplistic
syntax, proving a syntax, commonly using and repetitive regarding
complexity of writing compound-complex syntax; there are common
with compound-complex sentences, though there errors in grammar and
sentences and purposeful are a few errors in punctuation, such as
simple and compound grammar and punctuation fragments, run-ons,
sentences; there are no missing commas, etc.
noticeable grammar or
punctuation errors

Academic Vocabulary Academic vocabulary is Academic vocabulary is Paragraph’s diction is

used throughout the attempted throughout the common, slang,
paragraph, bringing a paragraph, though there sophomoric, and/or
level of sophistication is some slang or un-academic
and complexity to the sophomoric diction
paragraph

Total: /50 Points