TAKING CHARGE OF ONE’S HEALTH

Activity 4
“ME AND MY COPING”

Step 1. Write your ways of breaking up stress:

Step 2. After listing down your coping strategies, choose a partner to share
your list.

Step 3. After the sharing, answer the guide questions below:

1. How did you feel when you were asked to write/list down your ways in coping
with stress?
2. When you were instructed to share your list with a partner, what were you
thinking of?
3. Based on your sharing, do you have similar stress coping strategies? If yes, did
you discuss if those similar ways on your lists are effective? If no, why?

Answer the instrument below on how you react to stressful situations. Be

honest.

A Holistic Approach In Understanding The Self 177

 POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE COPING SKILLS
People react differently to stressful situations. Following is a list of what would be considered
“positive” responses.
**First print out the following form, then check off the appropriate response for each of these.
If there are any other positive ways that you use to deal with stress, please list them at the bottom
of the list.

RESPONSE NEVER SOMETIMES OFTEN

Meditate
Stretch

Engage in progressive muscle relaxation

Listen to music
Exercise aerobically

Watch television

Go to the movies

Read
Work on puzzles or play games

Go for a leisurely walk

Go to a health club

Relax in a steam room or sauna

Spend time alone

Go fishing or hunting

Participate in some form of recreational activity

such as golf
Do some work in the yard

Socialize with friends

Sit outside and relax

Engage in a hobby

178 A Holistic Approach In Understanding The Self

 Listed below are some negative ways of reacting to stress. Check off the appropriate column
for each item. If there are any other negative ways you do to react to stress, list these at the bottom
of the list.
RESPONSE NEVER SOMETIMES OFTEN

Act violently
Yell at someone

Overeat

Not eat for long periods

Drink excessive amount of alcohol

Drink lots of coffee

Smoke tobacco

Kick something
Throw something

Drive fast in a car

Pace up and down

Bite fingernails
Take tranquilizers

Take valium or any other similar drugs

You should compare the number of positive and negative responses. If your negative responses
outnumber your positive responses, you have reason to be concerned about your stress level. You
will need to try some of the positive responses in an attempt to reduce your level of stress.
Modified from Anspaugh DJ, Hamrick MH, Rosato FD: Wellness:
concepts and applications, St. Louis, 1991, Mosby.

A Holistic Approach In Understanding The Self 179

 STRESSORS AND RESPONSES

What is stress?

In general, stress is a state of mental or emotional

strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding
circumstances. It is a mental and physical response to the
demands of your environment (i.e., at home, school, work,
etc.). It is normal to feel stressed. It is a universal, human
experience. What is more important is how you respond to
stress.
Not all stress is bad for you. In fact, stress is good for
human beings (to some degree) to maintain an overall good
health. The human body may tend toward a relatively stable
equilibrium, especially those maintained by physiological processes, yet it also requires
stimulation to ensure optimal functioning of the organs and tissues, such as the heart
and muscles. How can stress be good? When stress serves as a motivation for positive
activities, then it is considered beneficial. Beyond its optimal point, stress of any kind
does more harm than good.
Three kinds of stress:
• Eustress
• Neustress
• Distress

Eustress

Considered as good stress

A result from a situation or activity that you find motivating or inspiring
Enjoyable and not threatening activity
Example: Finding the nerve to talk to your crush

Neustress

“Neutral” stress
A sensory stimulus that has no direct consequence or effect on the person
A situation or activity that you do not find threatening yet not enjoyable
Example: Incidents you hear in the news

180 A Holistic Approach In Understanding The Self

 Distress

Situations or activities that you consider negative, harmful, threatening

It could happen for just a short span of time or it could linger for prolonged
periods (hours, days, months, years).
Example: Being mugged on the streets or a long-standing family quarrel

What are stressors?

Any situation, activity, or individual that gives you mental or emotional strain is a
stressor. The list of stressors is not only endless; it also varies from person to person.
Good stressors can make you feel both nervous and excited at the same time (the so-called
“butterflies in your stomach”). It can make you worry about being liked or accepted. On
the other hand, bad stress can cause you to feel angry, petrified, or depressed. It can
make you feel constantly on the edge. Other than the mental and emotional strain, you
also suffer pain, such as headache or you actually get sick, such as going down with a
fever. High levels of stress when unattended contribute to mental health problems.

What are signs and symptoms of stress?

Stress is the body’s reaction to any change that requires an adjustment or response.
The body reacts to these changes with physical, mental, and emotional responses. People
handle stress differently. Symptoms of stress can vary.
In general, signs and symptoms of stress fall under any of these three categories:
SYMPTOMS OF STRESS INCLUDE
Low energy
Headaches
Upset stomach, including diarrhea, constipation, and nausea
Aches, pains, and tense muscles
Chest pain and rapid heartbeat
PHYSICAL Insomnia
Frequent colds and infections
Loss of sexual desire and/or ability
Nervousness and shaking, ringing in the ear
Cold or sweaty hands and feet
Excess sweating
Dry mouth and difficulty in swallowing
Clenched jaw and grinding teeth

A Holistic Approach In Understanding The Self 181

 SYMPTOMS OF STRESS
Forgetfulness
Preoccupation
Blocking
Errors in judging distance
COGNITIVE/ Reduced creativity
PERCEPTUAL Lack of concentration
Lack of attention to detail
Orientation to the past
Attention deficit
Disorganization of thought
Negative self-statements and negative evaluation of experiences
SYMPTOMS OF STRESS
Depression or general unhappiness.
Anxiety and agitation.
EMOTIONAL Moodiness, irritability, or anger
Feeling overwhelmed
Loneliness and isolation
Any other mental or emotional health problems

SOURCES OF COPING AND STRENGTH

Coping With Stress

Types of Coping
What is coping? Coping refers to the strategies you use to deal with real or imagined
problems to protect yourself against negative emotions. It refers to adaptive strategies
you employ in an attempt to reduce stress. It helps you control your reactions and continue
with your daily activities. Coping involves putting in conscious effort to minimize or
tolerate stress.
1. Problem-focused coping
• It targets on controlling or changing the source of stress
• It tackles the source in a practical manner.
• Strategies include employing problem-solving techniques; time management;
getting relevant social support.

2. Emotion-focused Coping
• It involves lowering, if not eliminating, negative emotional responses
(i.e., embarrassment).
• It is an option when the source of stress is external and beyond the person’s
control

182 A Holistic Approach In Understanding The Self

 • Strategies include distraction, talking out or verbalizing your problem, prayer,
and meditation.

3. Cognitive coping
• It involves a conscious intellectual activity of managing stressful situations
• You use your mind to combat stress-inducing thoughts.

Strategies for cognitive coping include:

i. Reframing – changing the way you view experiences or events, ideas, concepts, and
emotions to find alternatives that are more positive.
ii. Challenging negative thinking – questioning the rationality of your negative
thoughts. You take control of your thoughts and stop negative thinking. You
replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations.
iii. Positive self-talk – sometimes referred to as “positive affirmations;” you talk to
yourself in a positive manner. This is useful for confidence building.
iv. Count to ten – giving you time to gain control of your emotions. It allows you to
rethink the situation a nd find a better coping strategy.
v. Cost-benefit analysis – asking how yourself beneficial your thoughts, emotions,
or actions are. “Is it worth it?”
vi. Smell the roses – a way of telling yourself to relax. It is about taking a conscious
effort to appreciate the usually neglected aspects of life.
vii. Keeping perspective - breaking down your problems into little tasks and
knowing which the problems need to be addressed right away as compared to
those that do not need much attention.
v iii. Reducing uncertainty - as the saying goes, “lamang ang may alam,” gathering
as much information as you can about your problem. It helps if you gather
positive information rather than negative ones.
ix. Using imagery/visualization – imagery as a relaxation tool. You find that place in
your mind where you feel happy. Remember your pleasurable experiences. This
is more effective when combined with breathing exercises.
Visualization is also a powerful rehearsal strategy. For example, you are about to
present your report in class. Practice in your mind. Picture yourself giving the report.
Imagine the possible question that will be asked, and how you will answer it.

Behavioral coping strategies

These are ways of dealing with stress by taking action to modify behavior. Some
behavioral coping strategies include:
• Physical exercise • Time management
• Relaxation • Social support/friends
• Breathing • Seeking professional help
• Smile and laughter
A Holistic Approach In Understanding The Self 183
 24 Positive Coping Strategies for Stress
Physical and Lifestyle Strategies
1. Abdominal breathing and relaxation
2. Low-stress diet (limit fast foods/fried foods)
3. Regular exercise
4. Downtime (balance fun and work)
5. Mini-breaks (5- to 10-minute periods to relax during the day)
6. Time management
7. Sleep hygiene (at least 6 hours)
8. Choosing a nontoxic (nonsmoking/conflict-free) environment
9. Material security (the basics; do you really need that designer shirt?)

Emotional Strategies
10. Social support and relatedness
11. Self-nurturing (yes, you are worth it)
12. Good communication
13. Assertiveness
14. Recreational activities (“playtime”)
15. Emotional release
16. Sense of humor (ability to see things in perspective)

Cognitive Strategies
17. Constructive thinking (ability to counter negative thinking)
18. Distraction (ability to distract yourself from negative preoccupations)
19. Task-oriented (vs. reactive) approach to problems
20. Acceptance (ability to accept/cope with setbacks)
21. Tolerance for ambiguity (ability to see shades of gray)

Philosophical/Spiritual Strategies
22. Consistent goals or purpose to work toward
23. Positive philosophy of life
24. Religious/spiritual life and commitment

Stress and Filipinos

The effect of culture on stress and coping is so pervading that the people within
the cultural group does not notice it. But when cultural contexts are compared, the
differences between how people deal with stress become striking.

184 A Holistic Approach In Understanding The Self

 American anthropologist and professor, Mary Catherine Bateson (1968), told an
anecdote about her experience of losing a premature infant while she was here in the
Philippines. She noted the differences on how Americans and Filipinos express sympathy
over the loss of a loved one. Bateson described that while Americans will shake hands,
nod the head sadly and say, “We are so sorry for your loss”—they will make a hasty
retreat and leave the family to mourn in private. Bateson observed that Filipinos—
other than expressing sympathy for the loss - would ask questions and will get you to
talk about your beloved departed at length. She added that the primary assumption in
Filipino culture is that those who suffered a loss should not be left mourning alone (as
cited in Aldwin, 2007).
Americans, who are unaware of this Filipino cultural value, would see this behavior
as an intrusion. A Filipino, on the other hand, would think that Americans do not grieve
for their dead. While some societies show their recognition of bereavement around an
effort to help the bereaved control himself/herself and forget the sorrow, other societies
are more inclined to help the bereaved express his or her loss and live out the grief (as
cited in Levine, 1973, pp. 17-18; Aldwin, 2007).
Culture can affect stress and coping process in four ways (Aldwin, 2007):
1. Cultural context shapes the kind of stressor that an individual is likely to
experience. For example, Europeans find crowded places stressful because they
crave privacy, while Filipinos are delighted to see a crowd (Uy! May kasiyahan!).
2. Culture may also affect the appraisal of a certain event. For instance, “noise” is
stressful. But, what kind of noise? Some people find the Philippine streets—
with all the honking, peddling, and shouting—noisy. Yet, they have no problem
listening to their songs on high volume.
3. Culture affects an individual’s coping strategies (as was displayed by the Mary
Catherine Bateson’s story).
4. Culture provides different time-honored tools/mechanisms by which an
individual can cope with stress.

Filipino Traits and Values

Philosopher, professor, and author, Emerita Quito, proposed to take a second-look

at the supposed negative Filipino traits and values. Quito wrote that Filipinos are fond
of comparing themselves “unfavorably with Westerners by using Western standards
(1994).” Thus, she discussed some Filipino traits within the Oriental cultural context.
According to Quito, if the ideal personality and activity is based on western ideas (such
as being a “workaholic” as a positive trait) then the Filipino stress-free mentality will fare
poorly. In contrast to western culture, Orientals “emphasize conformity with nature”
(Quito, 1994, as cited in Dy, 1994, p. 60) and are not inclined to exaggerate or overreact.
Moreover, if the basis for achievement by western culture is to amass earthly wealth

A Holistic Approach In Understanding The Self 185

then Filipinos will again be ranked “low” because we look at some other considerations
aside from material wealth when pursuing our goals. As pointed out by Quinto, setting
a goal is not wrong in any culture. The difference between cultures lies in what people
consider important, as well as the manner of pursuing these goals.
Western culture thrives on individuality and any threat to one’s independence is
a source of stress, hence, it must be removed. Filipinos, on the other hand, thrive on
maintaining a harmonious relationship. Any disruption to this harmony is a stressor;
hence, it must be avoided.
The table below shows some Filipino traits and how they are evaluated based on
western and Oriental cultures as discussed by Quinto (1994).
FILIPINO TRAITS WHY IT IS NEGATIVE WHY IT IS POSITIVE
AND VALUES IN WESTERN CONCEPT IN ORIENTAL CONCEPT
Hiya It stops one from taking action. It contributes to peace of mind

It makes the person weak, timid,
and meek.
Ningas cogon It makes a person an underachiever
because he/she cannot persevere
in seeing things (i.e., projects,
tasks, or goals) to its fruition.
Not trying to achieve makes for
a less harried and stressful life.
This trait makes for a peaceful
and tranquil life because one
is unruffled should things go
wrong.

Being detached allows the

Pakikisama Filipinos are said to turn a blind eye
to the wrongdoing of others for
the sake of personal relationships
(i.e., family, friendship, coworker)
Patigasan It is about being stubborn and
resisting reconciliation.
One stands his or her ground (on
issues) and wait for the other
party to take the first step at
reconciliation.
person to move on to some
other activities without feeling
like an absolute failure.
In the Filipino context,
pakikisama means keeping
a polite distance from other
people’s lives with whom we
share the same space with to
maintain peace and harmony.
A trait that makes us stand
for what is right and refuse to
be intimidated or forced to
submission.

186 A Holistic Approach In Understanding The Self

 FILIPINO TRAITS WHY IT IS NEGATIVE
AND VALUES IN WESTERN CONCEPT
Bahala na It leaves everything to chance with
the help of a divine power.
Kasi Disowns responsibility
Puts blame on others (people,
things, circumstance)
Saving face This is closely related to “hiya”
and it encourages shirking from
responsibility.
Sakop Never learns to be independent
Relies on family and relatives
Prevents personal growth
Encourages partisanship
Bukas na Promotes laziness
(Mañaña habit)
Will not act when a problem is still
small, thinking that it will go away
by itself.
Utang na loob It makes the person overlook
moral principles because he or
she is beholden to those who gave
him/her a favor
A Holistic Approach In Understanding The Self
WHY IT IS POSITIVE
IN ORIENTAL CONCEPT
Putting faith on a Higher
Being develops humility and
gratefulness.
The idea that he or she is
not alone in the struggle
strengthens the Filipino psyche
Does not become overly
stressed for failing
Failure is not personal because
there are other factors, not just
“me.”
Will not stress out because
of guilt feelings or self-
recrimination
It promotes mental therapy
because it allows the person to
keep his/her dignity.
Promotes unity, especially in
the family
Provides a sense of
belongingness and security
Filipinos know how to keep
things in stride rather than be
stressed or tensed
One learns to go with the flow
and take what comes naturally.
This trait personifies the
Filipino saying,
“Ang hindi marunong
lumingon sa pinanggalingan
ay hindi makakarating sa
kanyang patutunguhan.”
187
 FILIPINO TRAITS WHY IT IS NEGATIVE WHY IT IS POSITIVE
AND VALUES IN WESTERN CONCEPT IN ORIENTAL CONCEPT
Kanya kanya Seen as selfish with no regard for This trait is still in a collective
the world’s well-being context. Kanya-kanya means I
take care of my own (i.e., those
that are important to me); you
take care of yours. Family is
central to the Filipino psyche;
thus, the family is always given
first priority before the self and
everyone else.

The social and cultural dimensions of stress

What is social stress? It is a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting
from adverse or very demanding circumstances arising from the person’s social
environment relationships (Sattler & Kirsch, 2014). There are several sources of social
stress, and they can affect almost every area in your life. Social stress gets aggravated
when you have little capability to change your circumstances.

What are the sources of social stress?

The sources of social stress include (but are not limited to):
• Problems with work or earning an income;
• Parenting;
• Education;
• Sex and socialization;
• Immigration status or language
• Personal, physical, and psychological health;
• Peer pressure; and
• Social marginalization.
Social status is seen as a common denominator for social stress. For example, if you are
poor, it usually means having less income opportunities, lower quality of education, and
decreased access to proper health care. These problems typically contribute to problems
in interpersonal relationships, such as in marriage and in parenting. The numerous
problems that people in the lower social status could evoke a feeling of powerlessness.
Being unable to change his or her situation makes the person more susceptible to stress.
Even though it is not usually harmful, peer pressure is another extremely common
source of social stress, usually affecting young people. Those with lower self-confidence
are more to be stressed because of peer pressure. Peer pressure also becomes dangerous
when drugs, alcohol, smoking, and gambling are involved.

188 A Holistic Approach In Understanding The Self

Stress and the sociological perspective
Emile Durkheim’s book Suicide, shows how social organization of groups influence
the individual behavior of their members. Durkheim hypothesizes that the extent to
which an individual is integrated within a group affects the likelihood of suicide.
Three primary types of suicide (Durkheim, translated 1951):
• Egoistic suicide – occurs when a person feels he or she is not accepted by or does
not belong to society. The social bond is very weak.
• Altruistic suicide – occurs when a person ends his or her life for others.
• Anomic suicide – is linked to disillusionment and disappointment.
Anomie was a concept Durkheim developed to describe a state where social and/or
moral norms were confused, unclear, or simply not present. This is similar to egoistic in
that social bond is very weak. However, its distinction is that the weak social bond is due
to the occurring social changes.
Durkheim’s study showed how personal problems are influenced by social forces.
Two major types of stressors (Aneshensel, 1992):
1. Life events – important, specific experiences that interrupt an individual’s usual
activity/routine that he/she needs to adjust to.
2. Chronic Strains – problems that have been occurring for some time; the person’s
social role is strained or threatened.

Common types of role strains (Copelton, 2000):

1. Role Overload. The role demands on an individual exceeds his or her capacity
to handle. For example, you are a working student and a single parent. You are
shuffling roles as a student, a worker, a parent, and a breadwinner.
2. Interpersonal Conflicts within Role Sets. These are problems and difficulties
that arise in a relationship (i.e., wife-husband, parent-child, and worker-
supervisor).
3. Inter-role Conflict. The demands of two or more roles held by a person are
incompatible, and the demands cannot simultaneously be met. For example, as a
working student, your work shift suddenly changed and this ran in conflict with
your class schedule.
4. Role Restructuring. Long-established patterns undergo considerable change
and the person needs to adapt/adjust. For example, as an adult you now find
yourself supporting and caring for your ageing parents because they have no
capacity to live independently.

A Holistic Approach In Understanding The Self 189

How stress is appraised
Symbolic interactionism is a sociological perspective that focuses on the language
and symbols to help give meaning to life experiences. Symbolic interactionists notice
that as a person, you interact with the world and you change your behavior based on the
meaning you give in your social interactions. You spend time thinking about what to do
next and adjust your approach depending on how you believe others see you. It is your
belief in how others perceive the events or in how they see you that will stress you out
(Sands, 2014).

Mediators of Stress: Coping and Social Support

Coping refers to personal responses that can be activated when stressful circumstances
arise. Coping refers to things people do to prevent, avoid, or control emotional distress.
Three basic objectives of coping (Weiss and Lonnquist, 2015):
1. Eliminate or modify the stressful situation so that it will not be a continuing
problem.
2. Control the meaning of the problem, by “cognitively neutralizing” the situation.
3. Control the stress created by the situation (e.g., through stress-management
techniques).

The Role of Social Class, Race, and Gender in Social Stress

Social Class
Those who are in the lower social class have higher mental and emotional stress than
those who are affluent. Three common factors are:
1. Inadequate financial resources;
2. Greater use of ineffective coping strategies; and
3. Less access to social support.

Race
Research shows that responses to stress vary, and the person’s ethnicity is relevant
to his/her stress response. Ronald Kessler and Harold Neighbors (1986) found out
that even when social class is controlled, race continues to be an important predictor
of distress. Their study showed that African American women still feel more stressed
compared with European American females of the same social class. However, African
American women also have more access to social support than European American
females. This may help explain the pattern that even though African Americans often
experience higher levels of stress than white American females, they have lower levels
of mental disorder.

190 A Holistic Approach In Understanding The Self

Gender
Women were found to have higher rates of psychological distress and depression
compared to men. According to Rosenfield (1999), this is evidenced “across cultures,
over time, in different age groups, in rural as well as urban areas, and in treated as well
as untreated populations.”
Possible causes for the high disparity between women and men are:
1. Women tend to be delegated to the caregiver role more than men.
2. Women are more inclined to be emotionally involved in the lives of the people
around them.
3. Women introject rather than express anger. Introjection is a person’s ability to
take in the expectations and projections of others (communicated nonverbally or
verbally; covertly or overtly) and take these as the person’s own.
4. Continuing power differences between women and men in society

Cultural Differences in Stress Response

Culture is the set of ideas, beliefs, expectations, and behaviors shared by a particular
group of people (Yoost& Crawford, 2015).
How culture affects a person’s experience to stress:
• The type of stressor to which a person may likely be exposed
• How a stressor will be perceived
• Coping mechanisms available to deal with stress

Type of Stressor
Different cultural groups live in different geographical, economic, and political
areas. Hence, the types of stress a cultural group is exposed to will also depend on their
general location. For example, for Filipinos a 2017 survey showed that their jobs/studies
were their leading cause of stress. However, for someone who lives in war-torn Syria, the
primary concern would have been something else.

Perception of Stressors
Cultures differ according to what their members perceive as stressful. For example,
Southeast Asian neighbors like Korea or Japan, academic success is given higher
importance. This degree of educational stress is reflected in the number of Japanese
students committing suicide for not passing an exam (Naughton, 1997). However, such
occurrences though not unheard are very rare in the Philippines.

A Holistic Approach In Understanding The Self 191

Coping Mechanisms
Some of the ways that cultures differ in the way they make available different coping
mechanisms to their members are:
1. Beliefs that allow them to make sense of stressors;
2. Beliefs about how stressors should be coped with; and
3. The availability of social support.
Cultures transmit belief systems that may affect the way their members make sense
of stressors and, consequently, how well they are able to cope with them. For example,
religious belief as in the Philippines. The bahala na attitude of the Filipinos draws on
“divine assistance” to help them cope. Other than a subjective impression that religion
assists coping, it was also found to give beneficial health effects. Research showed
that more African Americans suffer hypertension compared with European Americans
(Lackland, 2014). However, another study discovered that religious coping significantly
helped lower down blood pressure among African Americans, though not with European
Americans (Steffen et al., 2001). The study suggested that the difference between how
the two cultures use religious beliefs in structuring their experiences might account
for the different physiological reactions. The Western culture of independence and self-
reliance could have an impact on a person’s willingness to access coping resources, such
as social support that being part of a religious group provides.
Different cultures also transmit different values on coping with stress. For example,
the western culture of independence and self-reliance will impact the person’s willingness
to seek social support. Asking for some other people’s help would be regarded as shameful
because one’s problem is typically dealt with alone. Meanwhile, for collectivist culture,
being a part of a social group is the primary coping mechanism.
Cultures also vary according to the amount of social support they make available
to their members. There is also considerable evidence that social support is one of the
most important variables that affect the impact of stress (Umberson & Montez, 2010).
Individuals that come from cultures which offer more social support are able to cope
better with stress. For example, it has been found that non-Western patients with
schizophrenia have more social support and better treatment outcomes than Western
patients.

Taking care of the self: The need for self-care and compassion

Here is a link for compassion survey with scoring key: http://self-compassion.org/wp-

content/uploads/2015/02/ShortSCS.pdf
Stress is a natural occurrence. It is a state of mental or emotional strain or tension
resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances (WEB). Stress brings about
physical and psychological effects that could hinder you from reaching your full potential.

192 A Holistic Approach In Understanding The Self

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
Why do we feel stressed? Psychologist Abraham Maslow presented a motivational
theory outlining human needs illustrated in a hierarchal manner. The hierarchy of needs
is in the form of a pyramid starting with the most basic and most important need at the
bottom and moving up to achieve self-fulfillment.

Adapted

Deficiency Versus Growth

Maslow called the four bottom levels (physiological, safety, belongingness and love,
esteem) as deficiency needs because a person does not feel anything if these needs are
met, but he/she becomes anxious if these needs are not met. On the other hand, the fifth
level (self-actualization) according to Maslow was a growth need because it enables the
person to reach his or her full potential as a human being.

A Holistic Approach In Understanding The Self 193

 Motivated by Unsatisfied Need

Maslow’s theory holds that human beings are motivated by unsatisfied needs. Thus,
lower needs take precedence over higher needs, and they must be satisfied first. If a need
is unmet, the person feels agitated, and this motivates him or her to act and find ways to
satisfy the need. When a need is mostly satisfied, it is no longer a source of motivation
and the person moves on to the next higher need. Maslow further stated that a person
could only move up to the higher level of need once the lower level is securely met, and
only then will a person be motivated to work on self-actualization. Maslow’s concept
provides a glimpse on underlying causes of difficult behavior, as well as emotional and
mental problems.
This table illustrates how a person may react when needs are unsatisfied.
MASLOW’S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS IF NOT SATISFIED
*feel sick, irritated, uncomfortable
PHYSIOLOGICAL NEEDS *if pathological, we can eat, drink too
(A need that must be met every day) much or engage in hoarding behaviors
*will cause death
*can affect our perception, e.g.,
paranoia
SAFETY NEEDS * can lead to neurosis, insecurity
* if pathological, can develop phobias,
such as agoraphobia
*become increasingly susceptible to
loneliness and social anxieties
BELONGING - LOVE NEEDS
* if pathological, can lead to antisocial
behavior
ESTEEM NEEDS * low self-esteem
Two forms: * inferiority complex
* if pathological, can lead to depression
1) Lower-form needs :
Such as respect from others, for status,
fame, glory, recognition, attention, reputation,
appreciation, dignity, even dominance
2) Higher form:
Involves self-respect, including such
feelings as confidence, competence,
achievement, mastery, independence, and
freedom
* can cause feelings of lack of meaning
in life
*if pathological, metapathologies,
SELF-ACTUALIZATION NEEDS
such as boredom, cynicism, alienation
(feeling isolated, detached, lack of
sympathy, estrangement)

Source: http://www.benchmarkinstitute.org/

194 A Holistic Approach In Understanding The Self

 Self-care: What is it and why is it important?

As described by Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, satisfying the various levels of need is

very important to a person’s overall health and wellbeing. Part of your overall wellbeing
and healthcare is to take care of yourself. This caring for the “self,” however, is more
than being clean (hygiene) and living clean (lifestyle).
Self-care, as described by the University of Kentucky (WEB), entails taking deliberate
acts of looking after your mental, emotional, and physical health.

What self-care is not:

Everytime you are stressed you say, “I had a rough day, so I’m going for a drink to
unwind. Self-care!”
Everytime you like something, “This is really not in my budget, but I should not
deprive myself ‘coz you know, self-care!”
Or, “I am so hungry, but I’m on a diet so I won’t eat. Taking care of my weight is self-
care!”
These notions of self-care are oversimplified. Proper self-care is taking a very active
and powerful choice to engage in activities that will result in acquiring or maintaining
optimal health that cover the physical, psychological, emotional, social, and spiritual
components.
Self-care is vital for the management of daily stressors and challenges, as well
as overall health and wellness. Self-care is neither overindulging nor unnecessarily
depriving yourself. The keyword to self-care is balance; being good to yourself will
enhance the likelihood of living to your fullest potential.

Compassion : Neutral or Learned?

Human beings are actually wired for compassion, rather than self-interest, according
to scientific research. What is compassion? Compassion, framed as an emotion, is the
felt response to perceiving suffering that involves an authentic desire to ease distress
(Goetz, Keltner, & Simon-Thomas, 2010). It is a kind and caring emotional response to
perceived suffering that acknowledges the shared human experience of imperfection,
and that involves an authentic desire to help.
Compassion is often confused with that of empathy and altruism although
compassion does involve empathy and altruistic behavior. However, empathy as defined
by researchers is the visceral or emotional experience of another person’s feelings
(Psychology Today, 2013; De Souza, 2016). In reading a sense, it is an automatic mirroring
of another’s emotion, like feeling sad when reading a soldier’s goodbye letter to his
family, even though the soldier and his family are unknown to you.

A Holistic Approach In Understanding The Self 195

 Altruism, on the other hand, is the unselfish regard to or devotion to the welfare of
others (Merriam-Webster). It is commonly defined in two ways: the belief in or practice
of disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others (Vakoch, 2013), and the
behavior of an animal that benefits another at its own expense (self-sacrifice).
DacherKeltner of the University of California, Berkeley coined the term
“compassionate instinct” to point out the growing evidence that at the core both animals
and human beings have an automatic response to ensure the survival not only of our
own but of others.

Compassion’s Surprising Benefits for Physical and Psychological

Health
Research suggests that compassion may have ensured our survival because of
its tremendous benefits for both physical and mental health and overall well-being
(Seppälä, 2013). It suggested that connecting with others in a meaningful way helps us
enjoy better mental and physical health and speeds up recovery from disease (Diener &
Seligman, 2013) and may even lengthen our life spans (Brown & Konrath, 2013). The
possible reason for such benefits in psychological well-being is the fact that the act of
giving results in a pleasurable feeling as evidenced by a brain-imaging study. The parts
of the brain that are active when a person experiences pleasure (pleasure centers), such
as eating favorite desserts or receiving money, were found to be equally active when the
person is doing acts of kindness, such as giving food to a homeless person or donating to
a charity (Grafman, 2013; National Institutes of Health, 2013).

196 A Holistic Approach In Understanding The Self