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P R O T E C T
YOU R C H I L D
FROM S E X U A L
ABUSE
A pediatrician's 7 surprising
techniques to preventing
sexual abuse in children
 introduction
This topic interests ALL parents: child
sexual abuse; specifically, when it
happens, where it happens, and WHO
victimizes our kids and how to talk to
your kids about it and PREVENT it.

Dr. Tobi Adeyeye Amosun, shares

her invaluable thoughts. I urge you
moms and dads: take it to heart.
Follow the good doctor’s advice and
talk with your kids...
 Location
The location of an incident [of sexual abuse] is
likely to be at a place where you are familiar.

The homes of known family members and

friends are far and away the most common.

Perpetrators ages ranging from young teens to

adults. It is almost always a male cousin,
known neighbor, friend’s older brother/cousin,
babysitter, father/stepfather, uncle or mom’s
boyfriend. Occasionally it is a female, but
that’s rare unless she is grooming the kids to
have access to someone else.

Church youth group is the number two

location, usually because there is less
supervision. School, camp and sports are the
other locations, but less likely unless there are
kids allowed to be alone with teachers and
coaches.
 Sleepovers
Slumber parties: I wanted to address this
separately because of it being a sensitive
subject.

My daughter is allowed to go to a select few

friends’ homes (like five families) for
sleepovers. Never parents that I don’t know
extremely well, which means she doesn’t get
to sleep over at school friends’ homes. Never
large groups of kids, where one kid being
separated might not be noticed.

I can’t tell you how many times patients tell me

the first time they were touched inappropriately
or the first time they saw pornography was
during a sleepover.

I only get one chance to raise my kids and I’d

rather be a mean parent who is no fun than
have the other possibility.
 Terms
Please use appropriate anatomical terms for
body parts.

Eyes are eyes, knees are knees and penises

are penises (proceed with the pearl clutching).

Don’t use cutesy names or vague names like

booty or wee wee or cookie or treasure.

It confuses the matter in case something

needs to be reported. It also destigmatizes
those body parts.
 Touches
“Safe touch” vs. “bad touch”: make sure kids
know which is which.

Safe touches are the ones that are in areas

not covered by your bathing suit, like
shoulders, head and feet. Safe touches are
also those that make you feel calm and safe,
like a hug from your mom.

Bad touches are those in the areas that are

covered up by underwear. They are also the
ones that make you feel nervous, scared or
worried. If a bigger person is touching you in a
way that makes you uncomfortable, that is a
bad touch. Always tell your parents or other
adult about bad touches. And let kids know
there should never be secrets between kids
and adults and that they will NEVER get in
trouble for telling someone.
 Strangers
“Stranger danger” is a fallacy.

The vast majority of the time someone who

molests a child is known to the family. Beware
of so-called “grooming behaviors”. This is
usually from an adult male (or female) who
ingratiates themselves to the child and family
to lower their defenses. Usually they will try to
establish a trusting relationship with the family
and seek opportunities to be alone with kids.
They do this so that any accusations from the
child will seem made up. This has happened in
almost every situation I have seen.
 Technology
Be aware of what kids are looking at on
smartphones and tablets.

Especially from their friends whose parents

may not monitor things so closely. I usually tell
parents that as long as they are paying for the
phone and the kid is under 18, it is their
responsibility to monitor their child’s activities
in social media, texting, etc.

There are so many really clever ways for kids

to hide their activity online and parents are
almost always behind the 8 ball on this.
 Trust Your Gut
Most importantly, trust your gut.

If someone seems a little off or a little too nice

to your kids, trust yourself and keep your kids
out of any situations where they would be
alone with that person. We have all been in
situations where you just want to be polite,
even when someone is giving you the heebie
jeebies.

There is a great book called “The Gift of Fear”

that talks about people forgetting to trust their
intuition in potentially dangerous situations and
why there are times when you need to listen to
that spirit of discernment.

I don’t lock my kids up and throw away the

key, as much as I would love to protect them
forever.
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