BEA 

by Mick Gordon 

This play was first performed at Soho Theatre in London on 1 December 2010. 

Bea, in her late twenties, has a chronically debilitating illness and needs
constant care. Bea’s mother, Katherine, is a barrister and cannot look after her so
she employs RAY as Bea’s carer. RAY is in his mid-twenties and, back home
in Northern Ireland, has a sister, Sandra, who is autistic. When Bea decides she
no longer wants to live, it is RAY who, ultimately, helps Katherine understand.
This speech explores his horror of confinement, clearly empathising with Bea’s
physical confinement. RAY’s departure soon after helps Katherine to take the next
step and set Bea free. 

RAY: I was in prison once. Well, borstal. It was because I… well, I

suppose it was attention seeking really, what with my sister, and I just
felt, well sort of ignored I suppose. I know it wasn’t their fault, it’s no fun
what they went through, they lost their lives to her and I, well I was
young then wasn’t I and I didn’t understand and… well you know, one
thing led to another and then to another and then before I knew it I was
standing in an Elton John mask robbing the Nationwide. Not on my
own like. I had friends. Bruce Springsteen, who was actually called
Bruce, Frank Sinatra, who was called Jeremy – Jezzer, Rodge was Tina
Turner, and Freddy Krueger who was an extremely short boy called
Bonehead. We were inspired by that movie where they dress up as the
ex-presidents, you know – the surfers and sky-divers and stuff, anyway
we got caught. Bonehead cut his hand on his pen-knife, Bruce had
painted his water-pistol black but he hadn’t let it dry properly and his
hand got stuck to it. Jezzer, well, Jez couldn’t see out of his mask
properly because he’s got a very small face and Frank Sinatra’s face is
surprisingly big so he couldn’t see where he was going and ended up
trying to rob the Kentucky Fried Chicken next door. And I actually had
a panic attack so couldn’t get the car keys out of my pocket. Rodge was
the only one who escaped, because he was so good at running. He’s
still got Tina somewhere. But the rest of us, caught red-handed, except
for Bruce obviously. It was a dark day. We all got time. But Borstal, let
me tell you, that was the real low point for me. On my second night the
boy in the next cell hung himself, hanged? Yeah, he’d ripped up the bed-
sheet, and that’s very hard to do because they’re not normal sheets,
they’re reinforced with something, so that must have meant he really
wanted to do it. It’s the locks. And the doors. But mostly the locks. That’s
all you hear, clunking you in. K-lunk. K-lunk. And they echo. The sound
gets further away each time and you quietly realise how totally trapped
you are. When you understand what the word confined actually means.
Confined. It’s the worst feeling I’ve ever, no, no not the worst, the
second worst. The worst was, the worst was the night when I suddenly
knew, exactly, how that boy next door had been feeling. I’m sitting on my
bed looking down at my shoes. And I caught myself wishing there
were laces in them. That was it. The most shocking moment of my entire
life. I think it was the shock that saved me. It could have gone either
way but for some reason I decided then and there I would survive. Don’t
know why but from then on best behaviour. And that’s probably why I’m
a nurse, care assistant. Just hard to put it on a CV, you know.