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 With eternal gratitude to
His Divine Grace
A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami
Prabhupada

Had you not come, Who had told

The message of Krishna, forceful and bold,
That’s your right, you have the mace.
Save me a fallen, Your Divine Grace.

The line of service as drawn by you

Is pleasing and healthy like morning dew.
The oldest of all but in new dress.
Miracle done, Your Divine Grace.

“ADORE YE ALL” BY SRILA PRABHUPADA

1936 VYASA PUJA OFFERING
 Contents
Part Two

8A Change of Heart

VRINDAVAN 1973–1974

9The Blessings of Guru and Krishna Affirmed

OREGON 1975–1978

10Guru Vani—The Decade of Differing Interpretations

1980’S

11The Splendid Odyssey of Lord Krishna’s Cuisine

1980’S–1990’S

12Full Immersion in the Nectarean Ocean

1990’S

13Seeing the Krishna Magic at Banabehari Mandir

SARANAGATI 1998–2011

14Miracle Done—Your Divine and Loving Grace

2011–YAMUNA’S FINAL YEAR

Appendixes

Bibliography

Expanded Table of Contents

Index
 CHAPTER 8

A Change of Heart

VRINDAVAN 1973-1974
 Parikrama with Srila Prabhupada in Vrindavan

SRILA PRABHUPADA DID not often go on parikrama with his students in Vrindavan
in 1972, but Yamuna recalled a memorable one on Govardhan Puja, when he went with them to
Imli Tala. Yamuna wrote:

Yamuna: Generally speaking, Srila Prabhupada didn’t often go to other temple sites.
Once he went to Imli Tala with the devotees for Govardhan Puja. The temple was kept very neat
and clean, and there was, of course, the wonderful imli tree that Lord Chaitanya sat under.
Vrindavan was all forested then, and when Lord Chaitanya first came there, He sat under the imli
tree and uncovered the sites of Krishna lila pastimes, which were not marked at the time. So it
was a very special pastime site, overlooking a branch of the Yamuna River. We had a very nice
kirtan, then Srila Prabhupada spoke, and there was wonderful Bengali prasadam. Srila
Prabhupada’s sister, Pishima, also came with the ladies. The temple was decorated so nicely—the
centerpiece being a large Govardhan Hill mound made of rice. Srila Prabhupada seemed to enjoy
the afternoon very much.

Afterward, Yamuna recounted some of the highlights in her journal entry for November 6,
1972:

Yamuna’s Journal: IMLI TALA VISIT—1972. Srila Prabhupada, Rsi Kumara,

Shyamasundara, Guru Kripa, Radha Raman and Ksirodakashayi Vishnu all walked together.
Several others were already at Imli Tala, and we greeted them as they arrived. Very old ladies
with shaved heads wearing white saris sat at the entrance and bowed as Srila Prabhupada arrived.
He headed toward the open fields and gestured with his hands, explaining to us that this was once
a forest in Lord Krishna’s time. It was here under this imli tree that Lord Chaitanya Mahaprabhu
ascertained various places of Lord Krishna’s pastimes. The pujaris then showed us a footprint of
the Lord. Today, these fields are nothing but white sands, beige clay and long grasses, and the
imli tree is immense. We honored Govardhan Puja prasadam.
 Yamuna: Once Srila Prabhupada was walking around the Radha-Damodara Mandir,
showing everyone where the Goswamis ate, where they preached, and where they spoke to one
another morning and evening. He pointed out sacred sites where they lived and wrote, but as we
walked past Seva Kunj Park, Subala Swami said, “Would you like to go in here, Srila
Prabhupada?” And Prabhupada said, “No, I’m not advanced enough.” So Srila Prabhupada
wasn’t paying attention to this story and that story. He wanted us to try to understand the
philosophy—to just practice simple Vaishnava behavior—because he said that if we become
captivated by the words of the caste goswamis and babajis in these areas, we were certain to
become contaminated. He used to say that over and over and over again: “Don’t get involved in
learning or studying Krishna Consciousness from these people, because it will lead to a certain
falldown.” That’s why the words of the Spiritual Master have to be our authority, because when
you are living in a holy dhama, there is so much new information. Our Western mentality
especially seems to always seek something new, even though it may take us thousands of
lifetimes to digest what’s already been translated and presented by our Spiritual Master. We
instinctively knew that Srila Prabhupada was using this time and place to teach by example—by
humbly taking the position of being unqualified even though he was the most qualified.
 Visakha devi: VRINDAVAN, NOVEMBER 1972—The full moon of November marks
the end of the holy month of Kartika, and on that last night, Yamuna, Gangamayi and I take our
mats to the roof of Keshi Ghat Palace to lie in the moonlight and relate Krishna’s childhood
pastimes. One of those pastimes, Krishna’s confrontation with a nasty horse, had happened at
Keshi Ghat right where we are, and when I retell it, Yamuna remarks that it seems as if it had
happened recently. For me, spellbound, this month has been like no other. It has been the
happiest month of my life.

1973 — A Year of Rising Turmoil

After Prabhupada’s 1972 visit during Kartika, he was away from Vrindavan for an entire
year, directing things through correspondence. With the Krishna Consciousness Movement
growing quickly on all continents, he had many places to visit. Still, his three main
projects—Bombay, Vrindavan and Mayapur—were his major subjects of correspondence and his
greatest financial investments.

—SRILA PRABHUPADA-LILAMRTA

Bombay and the Second Cross Maidan Pandal

In Bombay Srila Prabhupada, to encourage and assist the devotees in the fight for the
Juhu temple land, requested Yamuna devi to come and lead kirtans at the second Bombay pandal
in January. She was to go first to Jaipur to see if a pair of five-foot Radha-Krishna Deities found
by Malati devi would be suitable for the Krishna-Balarama Temple. From Jaipur, she would then
proceed on to Bombay.

And if Yamuna wants to come for that Festival here, she may come here for a few days to
lead kirtan before my lectures, then return. But I think that Guru das may have to stay for the
work, or if there is opportunity, he may also come, but the work must not be jeopardized. Hoping
this meets you both in good health.

—LETTER TO GURU DAS AND YAMUNA, DEC. 19, 1972

And if she gets time, then Yamuna may come also for a few days to Bombay pandal,
being on this side.

—LETTER TO GURU DAS AND YAMUNA, DEC. 31, 1972

The pandal program has been comprehensively covered by others, along with the film and
beautiful photographs from Visakha devi which give a visual sense of how impressive it was.
When Yamuna and Guru das arrived in Bombay, Srila Prabhupada was being hosted by the
Kartikeya Mahadevia family.
 Yamuna: The next time I saw Srila Prabhupada was at the home of Mr. Kartikeya
Mahadevia, a Life Member Srila Prabhupada showered a great deal of mercy upon. Of course,
the joint family system was in place for his family, and he owned several apartments in a
prestigious complex just off the beach near Akash Ganga. Mr. Mahadevia had arranged a very
comfortable flat for Srila Prabhupada—all marble floors and sea breezes. Mrs. Mahadevia was an
expert cook—mostly Gujarati cooking—and the entire family would come to the morning
program and attend mangal arati. They established small Radha and Krishna Deities, lovingly
cared for by a young girl. It appeared that Srila Prabhupada was so nicely taken care of—they
were all eager to render service to him—that there wasn’t much cause for me to bother Srila
Prabhupada. Shyamasundara was still his secretary, and Malati was his cook at this time. His
other secretary was Devananda Swami. Also present were Tamal Krishna Goswami and Giriraja
das.

So our visits with Srila Prabhupada were generally short. I went to see him to get more
information on ordering Deities for the Krishna-Balarama Temple, and then left to try to be of
service for the pandal. We also went on one or two morning walks with Srila Prabhupada. On
January 18, Srila Prabhupada again engaged in a teasing pastime with me on the drive to his
morning walk. I have mentioned before that sometimes he would quote the famous Chanakya
Pandit verse about never trusting a politician or woman in order to gauge my reaction. So on this
morning, Srila Prabhupada sat in the car with Mr. Mahadevia, two other invited Indian gentlemen
and Tamal Krishna Goswami. We were all crowded in one of those small Ambassador cars, and I
was the only woman. So it was like Srila Prabhupada was speaking just to men—as though no
women were present. There was definitely a different atmosphere when Srila Prabhupada
preached informally only among men. When women were present, another mood was usually
observed. So the story of Lord Chaitanya stopping kirtan at the home of Srivas Thakur because
he sensed a woman present was brought up. By now, I was used to these exchanges,
understanding on the one hand that there is some difference, yet having personal experience that
Srila Prabhupada overlooked this and accepted the devotional service of any aspiring
servitor—always seeing to the welfare of the soul, regardless of the body he or she inhabited.

So Srila Prabhupada and the men were speaking and joking in Hindi in this crowded car,
with me crowded in there with them. Then, just as they were getting out of the car, he spoke
about the terrible politics in India and again quoted the Chanakya Pandit shloka that a politician
or woman cannot be trusted. Everyone was laughing in a very jovial way and then, all of a
sudden, Srila Prabhupada turned around, looked at me and said, “What do you think, Yamuna?”
“Of course, I totally agree,” I replied. “A woman’s nature is discussed in so many places in the
Srimad-Bhagavatam. She has many things that she must try to consciously conquer in this
lifetime to go back to Godhead. It is the truth.” I was also laughing. But then Srila Prabhupada
again became a little serious and said, “But you—you are not a woman. You are cent percent a
devotee,” and then the laughing stopped.

Srila Prabhupada and I had a close relationship over the years, and I was present several
times when he teased me in this way. He would always look over at me to check my reaction to
his statements, and this was another such time.
 The pandal itself was glorious and especially memorable for Yamuna, because Srila
Prabhupada preached in his uncompromising fashion, yet at the same time enthusiastically
chanted and danced with the devotees in ecstatic kirtans. Visakha devi eloquently described her
feelings on the final day of the pandal:

Visakha devi: The last day of the pandal was a Sunday, and more people attended than
ever before. There were tens of thousands of people in the huge pandal. Prabhupada lectured very
strongly from the vyasasana. And then when he finished, the kirtan began, as it did every
evening. This kirtan was especially enthusiastic. And then at one point he got up off the
vyasasana and went before the Deities, clapping, and then he started to circumambulate the
Deities with a very light step. He went around once, and then he went around a second time, and
then a third time. And when he came before the Deities, very gracefully he put his arms in the air
and he began to dance. It was almost as if he was weightless, he danced so effortlessly, and
everyone was electrified by this. Everyone in the audience was riveted by Srila Prabhupada
dancing before the Deities. At that point I was in the audience, photographing the pandal
program, and it felt as if all the sinful reactions of all those people suddenly lifted. It was an
extraordinary feeling. There was such a lightness there. It’s stated in The Nectar of Devotion that
if you clap your hands in kirtan, then the sinful reactions leave you just like birds leaving a tree
when there’s a sudden noise, they all fly off together. And that’s what it felt like. There was this
burden of karma lifting all at one time.
 Yamuna Devi’s Travels Outside of Vrindavan

After the festival, Yamuna and Guru das resumed their Vrindavan services. Srila
Prabhupada had requested them to periodically travel to New Delhi to assist Tejas das and his
wife, Madira, in establishing the temple there. Yamuna was also given the responsibility of
arranging for the Delhi Deities, Sri Sri Radha-Parthasarathi, and later in assisting with the second
Delhi pandal. She commissioned the same murtiwalla who had carved the Vrindavan Deities,
Pandey Murti Kala Kendra in Jaipur, and carefully oversaw Their carving.

Yamuna had made some powerful friends in New Delhi during their short time there,
among them Dr. Chandra, an honorary Member of Parliament, who helped them overcome the
volumes of red tape in procuring virtually anything in India, arranged meetings with ranking
politicians, and assisted in defusing the allegations of ISKCON being a front for CIA activities.

Yet, a high point of visiting New Delhi for Yamuna was seeing her young friend Madira,
the president’s wife, and engaging with her in kirtans, often lasting for hours. Whether Madira
came to Vrindavan or Yamuna went to New Delhi, they found time to chant together and forged
a bond through the chanting. For Yamuna, it was a respite from the increasing challenges she
faced as a woman and, as time went on, the fractious and sometimes brutal behavior among the
devotees.

Madira and Yamuna

 Years later, she spoke about Madira’s exquisite mridanga drumming and their kirtans:

Yamuna: My Godsister Madira and I were somehow put together in Srila Prabhupada’s
service. Her husband was the president of the Delhi temple for some time, and my husband was
president of Vrindavan. Our lives crossed (between Vrindavan and New Delhi), and we bonded
over kirtan. There was one kirtan I particularly remember very strongly. It was in a place called
Anand Niketan in New Delhi, and I was in Delhi on a shopping trip from Vrindavan. Srila
Prabhupada was there. I came in the afternoon, and when it was time for the evening program, he
asked me to lead the kirtan. Madira was sitting with the drum, a chaddar over her shoulders, and
her head down, and I began leading kirtan. And Madira always played a really good drum—she
was a solid and talented drummer. But that night, for some reason, she went beyond being good
to being extraordinary. It was like a Bengali drummer had dropped in from a heavenly place.

She started playing complex rhythms and counter rhythms with such expression that I
opened my eyes, which I usually kept closed during kirtan. And then I looked over at Srila
Prabhupada, and his eyes were just riveted on Madira. You know how a cat stalks a bird, and the
cat becomes completely focused and not moving? So Srila Prabhupada’s hands were playing the
kartals, his grip very relaxed, but his eyes were completely focused on Madira. And meanwhile, I
watched Srila Prabhupada off and on through the whole kirtan, as he was just appreciating one of
his disciples playing the drum. Finally, Srila Prabhupada closed his eyes and started moving his
head back and forth, entering into a trancelike state. This is the power of kirtan. I love
remembering that wonderful event with Madira’s drumming. The Holy Name is so powerful that
it is the all-in-all; it is everything.

The Yuvaraj of Alwar — An Inspiration and

Well-Wishing Friend

Another inspiration for Yamuna devi came through her visits with the Yuvaraj of Alwar.
The district of Alwar in Rajasthan, about 70 miles from Mathura as the crow flies, was once
described as “The Gateway to Rajasthan.” When Yamuna and her husband first went to Alwar in
the early 70’s, the Yuvaraj, Sri Pratap Singh, was the de facto ruler, as his father, the Maharaja,
lived in New Delhi and rarely came there. Although still young, he was well respected as a
dedicated and compassionate ruler, inspiring host, and devoted worshiper and pujari of his
beloved Deities, Sri Sri Sita-Rama. He often personally performed Their seva for upwards of six
hours a day. He and his wife also maintained a famous animal sanctuary, with elephants, tigers,
lions and many other exotic species of animals.

When Indira Gandhi imposed her Indian Emergency in June of 1975, effectively turning
India into a dictatorship for twenty-one months, her tax inspectors came to Alwar in March 1976
to forcibly search the palaces for valuables. Although the circumstances remain mysterious, it
was said that Alwar Yuvaraj killed himself rather than surrender the Deities’ possessions to the
Government. Yamuna last visited him in 1974, but of all the political leaders she met in those
days, he made a lasting impact on her, and over the years she spoke of him with deep fondness.

Yamuna: [When] we were in India in the early 70’s, the area [surrounding Alwar] was in
total drought condition. Alwar Yuvaraj was the crown prince, and he had a rather demoniac
father, yet he believed so much in the process of bhakti. From the age of seven, he was a Rama
bhakta…. There were many mystical stories about his devotion. And because he believed [in the
ksatriya dharma], he protected the people and animals in his whole kingdom very conscientiously
and opulently. He had a compound of maybe one or two hundred acres. And even though he was
in the desert, and there was drought all around, the rain was still falling on his land. It was a
wonderful place. Somehow, when we were on sankirtan, by the grace of the Lord we met this
very saintly man, the Yuvaraj, and we cultivated him. I bonded with him so deeply because of his
sterling example. Even though young (he was only 36 at this time), he worshiped his Deities
every morning for up to six hours, and he would also engage anyone from the village who wanted
to serve the Deities. He dedicated himself to the principles and values he believed in, protecting
everyone he was responsible for like a loving father.
 In India, there are often big courtyards in the middle of palaces and large compounds. In
Alwar, there was a very large, square grass compound in the Yuvaraj’s palace. One side
contained the family residence, one side contained quarters for guests, and one for servants and
other business purposes. Once, during a visit, I woke up early one morning and felt a strange
presence near me. When I turned my head from the pillow, I saw, directly in front of my face, a
small lion cub and a Saint Bernard puppy, just about the same age as the lion cub. They were
both staring at me, and when I made a movement to rise, the little lion cub went “fsssss,” and the
little dog went “wrfff.” So Alwar Yuvaraj instilled this kind of harmony. The lion and dog were
raised together, and it is just one example of the kinds of things we would see there. They played
together in this big grassy area all day long, and they were coming to check me out in the
morning.

Another time, we were sitting in his large reception area and a full-grown lion calmly
walked in and sat down. So for me, Alwar Yuvaraj was the only living example I had seen of a
caring, devotional ruler who was also a true gentleman in every way. Many of the former rulers
were actually despotic and neglected the care of their people for the needs of themselves. But
Alwar Yuvaraj was a true prince among men, and when the tax collectors and soldiers of Indira
Gandhi came to take the wealth of the Deities, he killed himself rather than give in to them.

Whenever I was there, I asked so many questions about the gorgeous Deity worship. I
made diagrams and collected pictures of Their festivals for my Deity Book; and I never forgot his
kindness—and his living example of what it meant to be a true ksatriya.
 The Tamal Tree in the Krishna-Balarama Temple

Yamuna: The tamal tree in the courtyard of the Krishna-Balarama Temple needed to be
pruned in the spring. I remember the Muslim workers used to hang their clothes on it, and by the
time the temple was planned around it with the courtyard in the center, Srila Prabhupada decided
that he wanted it cut down because he felt we weren’t advanced enough to respect and properly
take care of it. And it wasn’t something he was about to discuss with us; he just announced it. He
was in Vrindavan sitting in his room, and on that particular day Krishna das Babaji had come to
visit, along with another of Prabhupada’s Godbrothers (I have forgotten his name). Anand Prabhu
and Prabhupada were in the room, and there was an extremely intoxicating atmosphere with all
four Godbrothers in the same place, each with the same Spiritual Master, but having taken
different directions in their service. And they started having this very lively conversation about
the tamal tree, and all three of the Godbrothers forcefully said, “No, no, no.” But Prabhupada was
rather firm; he was taking the other side and saying that it should be cut down. It was one of the
most visibly beautiful scenes I ever experienced in my life, and there’s a photo in my mind, but
not on film. They all went together with interlocking arms to look at the tamal tree, and there was
a chain of the four of them walking down the dirt path—so beautiful, tears were just pouring
from my eyes at such a glorious sight, to see Prabhupada with his Godbrothers in such a friendly
way. So they all went out to the tamal tree and held this very lively discussion. And then Srila
Prabhupada said, “All right, we will keep it.”

Shortly after they had gone, Srila Prabhupada called me into his room and began
describing his childhood. He said that he was very happy that our [temple] designs were coming
out like they were because it was very much like the temple compound he had grown up in as a
child. And he said, “Instead of a tamal tree, there was this quin….” He said this funny word, and
I couldn’t figure it out. He said they are not like grapefruits, but the fruits are very bitter, and
good for treating malaria. Finally we figured out that it was a quinine tree. He added that a
prickly pear tree was also in the courtyard. And then he said, “Now this tamal tree is here, so
every day you must take the arati paraphernalia to it and clean them in the dirt from the base of
the tree. Make a nice path around it, and then I will come and sit and watch you worship Krishna
and Balarama under this tree.”

Yamuna always retained a special affection for the sacred tamal tree at the
Krishna-Balarama Temple. Whenever she went on pilgrimage there, it would disturb her to see
advertisements and other things displayed on the tree, especially after they had come so close to
losing it due to Srila Prabhupada’s fear of neglect. On one such pilgrimage in 2000, Yamuna
reminisced about the tamal tree:

Yamuna: [kirtan in background] There is the barest hint of a breeze on this morning of
Ekadasi, sitting in front of the tamal tree. The fog is still to burn off in the morning sun. A long
leaf dangles in the wind by an invisible thread. An old flower garland of orange and yellow
marigolds drapes across a branch. The brambles of the tamal tree are black against the ochre and
mauve of the temple walls in the courtyard of the Krishna-Balarama Temple.

This is Srila Prabhupada’s tree; the whole temple was built around this tree. It was
originally meant to be in the southeast corner of the courtyard; and in the northwest corner of the
courtyard would be a tulasi stambha for circumambulation. It was under this tree that Srila
Prabhupada said that he would sit and watch his disciples worship Sri Krishna-Balarama. Even
then, long before the temple was even a shell rising from the brown sands of Vrindavan, I could
envision Srila Prabhupada sitting and worshiping under this tree with Krishna and Balarama
resplendent on Their white marble asana, and young brahmacharis enthusiastically engaged in
Bengali kirtan as Srila Prabhupada watches, nodding his head, clapping rhythmically with his
hands. [Yamuna then chants Hare Krishna along with kirtan.]

During Srila Prabhupada’s bout with malaria the next year, Yamuna recorded the
following in her journal as Srila Prabhupada spoke about the tamal tree:

Yamuna’s Journal: I have recorded that on September 2 at about 9 PM in the evening,

Srila Prabhupada was sitting on his bed underneath a mosquito net, and Pishima was sitting at his
feet. His servant Srutakirti, who so carefully served Srila Prabhupada on twenty-four hour call,
was also sitting at his feet. Srila Prabhupada commented that the tamal tree is worshiped and
embraced by Srimati Radharani and is therefore nondifferent from Radharani. “You must
worship this tree as Radharani Herself is worshiped. One tree is at Radha-Damodara, one tree is
in Seva Kunj, and we have one tree. You may place tulasi plants at her base on a raised platform
and worship her very nicely.”

“Srimati Radharani Must be Dancing” — Changes in Deity

Concepts

Yamuna once compared the changes in concepts of the Krishna-Balarama Deity program
to the waves of the ocean—consistently flowing toward the shore, yet constantly changing in
size, tenor and movement. It seemed to her that as soon as she had meticulously planned the
Deity program based on instructions from Srila Prabhupada, he would either change something or
request another arrangement entirely. The excerpt below, from a letter to Guru das and Yamuna,
is an example of this. Malati devi had been commissioned by Hansadutta das to arrange for large
Deities for the Hamburg temple and had found a five-foot pair of Radha-Krishna Deities in
Jaipur. After returning to Bombay and telling Srila Prabhupada about Them, he immediately
wanted Them for Vrindavan, even though Yamuna had been painstakingly working on plans for
the Deities who were eventually installed.

Regarding the Deity at Vrindavan, Malati has just now returned from Jaipur and she has
found out one very nice murti of Radha and Krishna more than five feet tall. I want these Deities
shall be installed in Vrindavan, so Yamuna may make arrangements to go there and see if they
are available, what is the cost, and make all program how they shall be transported to Vrindavan,
like that. I think these will be just suitable for our Vrindavan temple, and they will save us time
also. You may order the Balarama Deity to be made also by this murtiwalla. I think Malati has
written you one letter in this connection.

—LETTER TO GURU DAS AND YAMUNA, DEC. 31, 1972

 Yamuna cited this as one such “wave” in the ocean of requests and changes in her Deity
service for the Krishna-Balarama Temple. She later used it to illustrate that the duty of the
disciple is to follow the instructions of the Spiritual Master—in essence to flow with the waves of
change.

The altar at Raman Reti in 1973

Yamuna: So, using the Vrindavan Deities as an example, if one is a true disciple of a
bona fide Spiritual Master, then he or she must be willing to carry out his orders. So if the
Spiritual Master says a rope is a snake, to the disciple it is a snake, and vice versa. The key words
here are “bona fide.” When shastra, the previous Acharyas and the Spiritual Master are all in
philosophical agreement, then it is the disciples’ duty to simply follow—that is all. So Srila
Prabhupada went through a number of configurations for the Vrindavan Deities, and if he asked
for my opinion, I gave an answer if the arrangement would not work or would cause problems
(such as putting pictures on the grand altars). Otherwise, I tried to simply flow with whatever
instructions he gave.

A major difficulty for me was that although Srila Prabhupada put me in charge of the
Deity arrangements, there was never any mention at any of our initial meetings about the
financing or what exactly the size, shapes and numbers of the Deities were going to be. All I
knew was that Krishna and Balarama were going to be on the center altar. Our architect,
Saurabha das, had hired a firm in Delhi to prepare the initial drawings of the marble mandaps
where the Deities stand. That was the first thing we did, and then we were going to slowly build
the rest of the temple. So we actually dug that foundation first, although the remainder of the
temple had not been fully planned out. When Saurabha came into the fold, he then wanted
another design, but it was already too late. So the size of the area where the Deities were to stand
was already determined before the final decisions on the Deities Themselves were made.
 Temple foundation

Before Srila Prabhupada had been informed of the limitations on the size and number of
Deities due to the already laid foundations, he held a meeting with Yamuna and the rest of the
team where he expressed his desire for magnificent and unprecedented Deity worship in the
Krishna-Balarama Temple.

Yamuna: Originally Srila Prabhupada wanted the entire Panca Tattva [on the first altar],
along with the murtis of himself and Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati. On the central altar were
Krishna and Balarama in the Back to Godhead cover pose, along with two cows. And on the third
altar would be Radha, Krishna and the eight gopis, like in the Ashta-Sakhi Mandir. And he
wanted them all to be seven feet tall. So he looked at me and said, “Can you do that, Yamuna?”
And I said, “No, Srila Prabhupada, because we’ve already dug our foundation, and the Deity
rooms are already the size they are going to be. We have to have a certain size altar to fit in that
space, [and] to fit in the doors for darshan and everything. There simply isn’t room for them.
That’s the first reason. And secondly, Srila Prabhupada, I don’t think we will be able to
maintain.” I added, “Right now, we have only aluminum plates, and they are still being lost, so
what to speak of caring for the Deities.”

Srila Prabhupada then said, “Yes, that is so. All right, we will cut down. We will have
Gaura-Nitai, Krishna-Balarama and Radha-Krishna.” He said that it would be balanced by the
murtis of Bhaktisiddhanta and himself, which was revolutionary in those days. And then he
wanted two gopis based on those at the Radha-Govinda Mandir in Jaipur. He [also] said we could
reduce the size, because there just wasn’t enough room.

Then we asked him about the mudra that Srimati Radharani would stand in—the position.
I said, “Srila Prabhupada, should She be in the same position as the other three sets of Deities?”
These were the Deities donated by the Dalmia Trust in Bombay and made in Jaipur. In each case,
Srimati Radharani had Her right hand raised with palm facing outward and Her left hand down at
Her side holding a lotus flower. This is frequently the mudra of Laksmiji in a pose offering
auspiciousness. At Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati’s temple in Mayapur, Srimati Radharani
(Gandharvika) has both of Her arms bent at the elbows and Her hands held straight out in a
somewhat closed-fist position (flower-holding mudra). I said, “Should She be like that?” Srila
Prabhupada replied, “No. She should stand like this.” And then he struck the most magnificent
pose, with his head tilted slightly sideways and facing towards Krishna, and his right arm raised
close to the body up to about shoulder length. The forefinger and thumb were held together, with
the other three fingers making a slight, v-curve, cupped palm; and the left arm was slightly bent
and just out from the hip, with the palm facing downward again in the exact opposite of the right
hand, the forefinger and thumb together. It was a very classic, graceful and beautiful pose of
Srimati Radharani in a dancing position, and Srila Prabhupada imitated it so beautifully, so
perfectly, that we were just stunned. Then he immediately and emphatically said, “In Vrindavan,
Srimati Radharani must be dancing. If Radharani were ever to stop dancing in Vrindavan, this
whole business [the creation] would be finished.” So Radharani never stops dancing. It is
eternally one of the things She does for the pleasure of Krishna.

Srila Prabhupada then began to speak about Her cooking. He said that Srimati Radharani
is unsurpassed in qualities and superexcellent in so many ways, but particularly in Her cooking.
Eternally She cooks for Krishna, and never once does She make the same preparation twice. She
keeps Krishna under Her control by her cooking. Radharani’s ability to cook for Krishna is so
wonderful, but even above Her skills in the art of cooking for Krishna is Her dancing. Her
dancing is magnificent, and She pleases Krishna so much by Her dancing. So Srila Prabhupada
said, “In our Vrindavan Krishna-Balarama Temple, Srimati Radharani will be dancing.” Later in
the conversation, he also made the statement that just as the Krishna murtis in Vrindavan are
usually made in black because Krishna is a blackish color, so Srimati Radharani is the color of
sindhura powder and hing powder mixed with milk.

We had to have photographs of Srila Prabhupada to take to Jaipur for having his murti
made. So as he sat during his massage one morning, Visakha devi took beautiful pictures of Srila
Prabhupada from many different angles—from the top, the side, the front and back. There were
also close-ups of many different angles of his head and face.

Unfortunately, Visakha said that the first roll of that film was later lost.

The Deities of the Krishna-Balarama Mandir

Yamuna: By early 1973, Srila Prabhupada had entrusted me with responsibilities and
services quite unprecedented for women in India, what to speak of a Caucasian Vaishnavi serving
in the holy dhama of Vrindavan. Along with assisting the others on our Vrindavan team, I was
responsible for the Deity arrangements—everything from Their design to sringar. To do that, of
course, I had to have an equal voice on our team. Initially I interfaced daily with almost every
member of our team—in the office and the kitchen, while preaching or traveling, designing and
commissioning, during class and in kirtan. In the beginning, for the most part our crew of around
a dozen worked hand-in-glove as a close-knit family.
 Also in early 1973, Srila Prabhupada arranged for Pradyumna das and me to begin
studying Deity worship procedures with Hari Goswami, a sevaite at the Radha-Raman Mandir.
Much of what I learned through the open-hearted kindness of him and other sevaites at Sri
Radha-Raman, especially Padmanabha Goswami, was immediately copied into my Deity Book.
Their consistency of worship was amazing to me. Deity procedures in place over 400 years ago
were still being followed, and I felt extremely grateful to witness their regulation and high
standards in both their worship and cooking.

From Yamuna’s Deity Book

Initially, I went alone to Jaipur to commission the Deities from murtiwalla Pandey Murti
Kala Kendra in the southwest part of the old city of Jaipur, and brought back estimates for Srila
Prabhupada. I took with me photos of Deity faces we found desirable (including the beautiful
face of Srimati Radharani from Madras), and Kala Kendra supplied me with ink line drawings of
the Deities for Prabhupada’s approval. When Bharadraja das and Rukmini devi came to
Vrindavan, Prabhupada then engaged Bharadraja in the Kala Kendra venture as well. Toward the
end of the Deity carving, both of us were dispatched to Jaipur to oversee the final carving and
painting of the Deities. Bharadraja, a talented artist, was skilled in the subtleties of both sculpture
and painting, and his contribution to the Deity project was invaluable.
Sketches approved for carving in Jaipur
 So twelve marble forms were commissioned in Jaipur for the Krishna-Balarama Mandir.
On the left altar: white marble Gaura-Nitai Deities, and two seated murtis—ISKCON
Founder-Acharya A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada and Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati
Thakur. On the center altar: black marble Lord Krishna and white marble Lord Balarama, and
two white marble cows to sit at Their feet. On the right altar were four Deities: white marble
Radharani and black marble Shyamasundara, with white marble Lalita and Visakha gopis facing
Them on either side.

The commission for the small ashtadhatu (eight metals) Deities of Radha-Shyamasundara
was given to Nanda Kishore Mukutwalla in Vrindavan. The form of Lord Shyamasundara was
inspired by the archa vigraha form of Sri Radha-Raman. The first sringar (clothes and jewelry)
for the Deities were made by Lalit Prasad, the tailor I had used for both large and small Deities in
the past. Unfortunately, we had no women to sew and make jewelry at that time, but when
Prabhupada saw the bill from Lalit Prasad, he said it was too high, and that in the future, the
dresses should be stitched by our own temple devotees.

In early 1974, Guru das and I traveled to Nathdwara to order three sets of silver arati
paraphernalia, and at the same time we ordered silk backdrops in Udaipur. While Guru das and
his crew mostly stayed in Vrindavan to oversee construction, I had to travel to Delhi to collect
funds door-to-door for the Deity bank account. My only prior experience soliciting money for
Krishna was while traveling with our small band in Delhi at the onset of the Life Membership
program. But I was mostly just baggage, with Giriraja das or Guru das doing most of the talking.
This collecting proved to be a daunting service for me. Strangely, I never had any control over
the funds after they were deposited into the Deity Fund. I was never allowed to write checks or to
remove funds. That was done with a check and balance system of two male signatories.

Yamuna’s Journal Notes for the Vrindavan Deities

The following notations from Yamuna’s journal give an indication of how careful and
meticulous her planning was for the Deity service in Vrindavan. Yamuna was always a
prodigious note-taker, and carefully planned out every detail of anything she set out to do,
whether it be shopping, cooking, designing or any Deity-related service.

ARCANA NEEDS FOR VRINDAVAN KRISHNA-BALARAMA TEMPLE MURTIS: Marble

from Rajasthani Kala Kendra, Jaipur. Ashtadhatu from Nanda Kishore Mukutwalla, Vrindavan
42" Gauranga-Nityananda, white marble Rs. 5000/= 42" Krishna-Balarama, white marble
Rs. 4000/= 42" Radha-Krishna, white marble Rs. 4000/= 30" Srila Prabhupada, white marble
Rs. 3600/= 36" Srila Prabhupada, white marble Rs. 4000/= 14" models of all above murtis
Rs. 1000/= 14" Ashtadhatu: Gold, iron, silver, mercury, copper, zinc, lead, sheesha (The last four
items in nearly equal amounts; small amounts of the first four metals) Rs. 425/= SIMHASANA
MARBLE BASES Each approx. 5000, Total cost: Rs. 15,000/= SIMHASANAS SILVER
PORTION W/ CHAIR Wooden and silver, each approx. 25,000, Total cost: Rs. 75,000/= SRILA
PRABHUPADA VYASASANA Chair, umbrella and stairs, approx. Rs. 23,000/=
MEASUREMENT NOTATIONS Deity rooms: 16' × 20' Doorways: 4' × 6' each width in halls
Deity doorways: 9' 6" × 10' 6" Ceilings in darshan mandap & griha: 22' Darshan mandap: 50' ×
28' Pravesh mandap: 50' × 25' Courtyard: 50' × 56' 6" Basement rooms Kitchen Back Hallway
NOTES ON FORM FOR ORDERING IN JAIPUR Broad Foreheads Holes in ears and nose
Radha 3" shorter Legs and arms separate Flute: straight across with good holes Krishna:
three-curved pose Round faces, round eyes, chins, noses Fine arms and hands Thin long waist No
jewelry, hair or clothes carved on Knob on top and base of head PRABHUPADA’S VYASASANA
NOTES Marble jalli walls with stained glass lotus Base of white marble with three-step platform
and lotus carving Simple throne in white marble with white marble lions Footrest in velvet and
silver with silver shoes Benares gold jari pillows SUGGESTED DRESSES

•(Benares silk) (Pajama-tunic—Krishna; Bell-shaped skirt—Radha)

•Robin’s Egg Aquamarine with heavy silver and gold trims, purple contrast (synthetic
hole cloth) (Govinda skirt—Krishna; skirt blouse—Radha) or (Pajamas and tunic)

•Marshmallow cloth—orange with nylon satin crepe lining, silver sequins and floor length
shawl—Gold trims, dark blue-purple borders. (Govinda skirt; skirt blouse)

•Lime green lace with lime green linings with wide silver borders. Lavender sash and
shawl—Krishna; lavender choli and chuni—Radha in nylon crepe. (Govinda skirt; sari)

•Red and silver heavy embroidered Benares silk. (Vary Lalit styles)

•White and Gold Lalit dress; lavender and silver Lalit dress.

•Green and Gold Lalit dress; pink and gold Lalit dress, Peach and silver

•Lalit dress in nylon crepe, no sequins only jari. Govinda skirt—Krishna; Blouse
skirt—Radha)

•White, lavender and silver lace with purple nylon satin lining. Dark blue borders with
wide silver ribbon and gold jari. Krishna blouse (Govinda skirt; sari)

•Maroon silk with gold embroidery with silver ribbon trim. (Benares silk)
 An Unusual Role for a Woman

As the year progressed, new members joined the Vrindavan project, others left, and
leadership suffered. Some were unable to tolerate the austerities, lack of funds, and slow
progress. Others were defeated by illness or the extreme heat, and all were affected by the
increasing contentiousness among team members. Yamuna found the atmosphere increasingly
critical and debilitating. On the one hand, she was trying to adjust to the new reality in ISKCON
in relation to women, and to the expected etiquette in India, particularly in Vrindavan, and yet
Srila Prabhupada had entrusted her with extensive responsibilities on the Krishna-Balarama
Temple project. Though inspired by the service, she remained uncomfortable as the sole woman
in this position. She was only too aware of the differences in nature between the men and herself.
They seemed to be able to vehemently oppose one another one day and work in accord the next.
Yamuna found this hard to swallow. Her nature was such that she found conflict difficult to
process and overcome—a lifelong challenge. She often attempted to deflect the difficulties by
either internalizing their effect on her while outwardly remaining silent, or by requesting her
husband to speak for her. To his credit, Guru das tried to spare her from the backlash of some of
the infighting, but these were difficult times for many women in ISKCON, and Yamuna’s
responsibilities, coupled with Srila Prabhupada’s respect for her vision and opinions, did not sit
well with some of the men.

Yamuna: But now, our society was dramatically growing and changing. Srila Prabhupada
was creating so many sannyasis, and the GBC was in place. It was these men who attempted to
create a society-wide template on the position and treatment of women. I was still a grihastha,
and out of etiquette I was feeling, “I am not going to write any more to Srila Prabhupada.”
Formerly he told me, “You report directly to me. I want to hear your reports on a regular basis.” I
used to unfailingly write to him fortnightly or sometimes monthly. I was always writing. But with
the increase of male members, along with their decision-making and directives, and with Srila
Prabhupada having so much to handle, I did not want to be another burden to him. Yet, Srila
Prabhupada engaged me in business dealings I was held responsible for, so I ultimately had to
report to him. But it became uncomfortable for me.

Yamuna’s Increasing Fear of Displeasing Srila Prabhupada

One reason he [Srila Prabhupada] did not come more often to Vrindavan was that Guru
das’s letters had been very optimistic, promising a temple opening by Janmastami 1973.
Saurabha was in charge of the construction and knew well that the work was going too slowly,
yet Guru das would write to Prabhupada, painting a picture of imminent completion of the
construction and opening of the mandir. Prabhupada was enlivened to hear the good news, and he
held Guru das to his promise, though with reservations.

—SRILA PRABHUPADA-LILAMRTA

As late as April 25, 1973, Guru das wrote an optimistic letter extolling the steady progress
of the construction team of 22 laborers, and everyone else enthusiastically engaged in their
services. Yamuna completed this upbeat description by adding a handwritten addendum to the
letter:

Dear Srila Prabhupada: Please accept my humble obeisances to your lotus feet, the
reservoir of all transcendental pleasures. There is no endurance in this changing of body, but
there is eternal pleasure in dovetailing our energies to your service. In the heat of scorching
summer nights, I often wake up and think how we may increase in sincerity and agitate our
energies to complete this project for you. That is our sole desire—to make this Vrindavan dhama
a nest of devotional service in seva to Krishna-Balarama and our Vaishnava Acharyas, and
glorify your purity. All the students who come here are wonderfully enthused by our nice
program and jolly atmosphere just decorated by regulation, engagement and wonderful
prasadam.

The neem and tamal trees just seem to keep all our brains cool, and work is slowly and
steadily maintaining an even tempo. Our vigrahas are presently being carved, and They are
extraordinarily wonderful. In Delhi, Visakha is helping me compile some nice photos for you.
Your servant, Yamuna devi dasi. [emphasis Yamuna’s]

—LETTER TO SRILA PRABHUPADA, APR. 25, 1973

 Yamuna on the construction site in 1973

Knowing Yamuna’s tact and her desire to please Srila Prabhupada, it is not difficult to
read between the lines of her letter. Still reeling from the challenges of 1972, she was not anxious
to incur Srila Prabhupada’s displeasure, and by nature she was both gracious and positive. Guru
das had also received chastisements from Srila Prabhupada, and naturally both of them wanted to
give an optimistic report on the Vrindavan project. There was no question of their sincerity and
dedication to the service—they had put their heart and soul into it. This can also be said of all of
the devotees who worked under virtually unbearable heat, illness, money woes and a myriad of
other frustrations to try and see Srila Prabhupada’s Krishna-Balarama Temple to its fruition. Yet
none of them had any construction experience, nor were they accustomed to the de facto cheating
in India when purchasing everything, from bricks to mortar. Further, the heavy-handed
government of Indira Gandhi regulated virtually everything, so there was no certainty that what
was ordered would arrive on schedule or at all.

But anyone visiting the construction site in Vrindavan could understand that the building
would never be finished in time. The temple area consisted of foundation lines and steel rods.
Only three or four devotees were living there, struggling to organize laborers and to obtain funds
and building materials. That summer was extremely hot, and each day the devotees were forced
to spend the afternoon lying down in their huts, exhausted from the heat. Prices for cement and
steel had doubled. Yet Prabhupada continued to respond to Guru das’s glowing reports,
encouraging him to continue with determination.
 But Prabhupada could also read between the lines, and he cautioned Guru das, “I simply
want to see that the work is being carried on vigorously, and the money shall not be used to pay
bad bills. The money should simply be used for construction.” Talk of a temple opening by
Janmastami gradually disappeared, but Prabhupada did not express his disappointment. Rather,
he continued to encourage and push the devotees onward, asking that at least his own room be
completed, so that when he visited in October of 1973, he would have a place to stay.

—SRILA PRABHUPADA-LILAMRTA

Both you and your wife desired to go to Vrindavan some four to five years ago while you
were in San Francisco, and because you were so much sincerely eager, Krishna has given you
very good opportunity to stay there and construct a very nice temple for Krishna and Balarama.
Take this opportunity seriously, and as you have stated that you are feeling advancement in
Krishna Consciousness, I wish both you, husband and wife, will go on increasing such
consciousness more and more and thus be benefited. Offer my thanks to Yamuna for her note in
your letter under reply. Hoping this meets you both in good health.

—LETTER TO GURU DAS, MAY 6, 1973

Yamuna: From the beginning, in some ways our Vrindavan temple was plagued—I don’t
know whether just by bad management or whatever—but it was very difficult to build that
temple. Very difficult. There were offenses (against each other) being made by many among us
… quarreling and so many things. So the construction went on very slowly on that project. And
of course by our first opening [deadline], nothing was near being done.

Srila Prabhupada set the next Janmastami, August 1974, as the new Grand Opening and
encouraged the devotees to work harder and in complete cooperation with each other. As the year
progressed, because of the many frustrations with the work and the strong personalities involved,
Yamuna increasingly attempted to stay in the background, not writing Srila Prabhupada directly
as she had always done; she was beginning to become overwhelmed under the weight of so many
challenges.
 Yamuna Begins Serving Srila Prabhupada in Separation

Yamuna: In 1973, except for rare instances, I started letting the reports go to Srila
Prabhupada through my husband. It was extremely difficult for me, but in order to help broadcast
the sublime message of Lord Chaitanya and Lord Krishna everywhere, I tried to become more
conscious of the behavior and etiquette some leaders in ISKCON were expecting of women, even
though this was the antithesis of my prior experience and training. So although I still felt very
close to Srila Prabhupada internally through service, externally I was trying not to be too
intimately involved in a direct way. This was extremely painful for me, yet although it took me a
long time, I came to understand and accept it as a blessing rather than a curse. When Srila
Prabhupada left this world, all of us were forced to serve him in separation and develop an
internal relationship with him—something that I had already begun. So it was my good fortune
that my training, as difficult as it was, had begun as early as 1973. Prior to that, there was never a
time while in his presence that I wasn’t directly engaged in his service. When not in his direct
personal association, I was personally responsible to him. So now I was training for serving in
separation and trying to strengthen my relationship with him through his vani—his instructions
and example. I did not see Srila Prabhupada again until the end of 1973.

One of the practical problems for Yamuna during this time was that while many of the
men had moved to the land for convenience, no separate facility existed there for women.
Therefore, she and Guru das remained upstairs in the oven-like rooms at the Radha-Damodara
Mandir.

Yamuna: In addition to ISKCON’s changing precedents regarding the role of women,

Vrindavan had its own strict standard of behavior expected of all women. A woman there was
never independent—she was always to be in the association of her husband. There weren’t
sannyasinis or brahmacharinis or bhaktins there. Srila Prabhupada instructed me that while I was
there, my behavior was to be such that no one could ever find fault with it. So as there were no
separate facilities for bathing or living at our land, I couldn’t move out there. Madan Mohan
Goswami at Radha-Damodara Mandir had developed some affection for us after a year’s stay, so
even though our contract had expired (after one year), he could see there wasn’t any facility for
me to live in Raman Reti, so Guru das and myself stayed on in the rooms at Radha-Damodara for
several months past the expiration date.

Although it was extremely difficult for me because I had no training in this life for it, I
understood the seriousness of observing etiquette in Vrindavan. Srila Prabhupada emphasized it
to everyone in our party, but as the only woman, I was being especially scrutinized. So I
assiduously endeavored to observe the etiquette expected of a Vaishnavi wife and disciple—no
sex life in the dhama; separate eating stations from the men in our party, including my husband;
separate bathing stations and sleeping area; no conversation alone with any male Vaishnava
except my husband, and so on. Srila Prabhupada had given us this one principal instruction:
“How you behave in Vrindavan will be charged to me. If you make offenses in the dhama, it is I
who will be criticized, not you. You must always endeavor to act in an exemplary way in your
dress, behavior and etiquette.” I wanted to represent Prabhupada and do my utmost to help his
mission and the Vrindavan project, yet it seemed impossible to both strictly observe the etiquette
and at the same time manage the many responsibilities Srila Prabhupada had entrusted to me.

I was trying to find my place as a woman in a man’s world while performing men’s
services, all in separation from Srila Prabhupada. I did not know how to do this, and so I begin to
close down internally, especially whenever male devotees came. I would perform any service I
had to do with them, but during that period, I never became friendly, out of fear of being
criticized or displeasing Srila Prabhupada.

Ironically, this was how I remembered Yamuna when I first met her in New Delhi and
later Vrindavan. She was a whirlwind of activity—engaged in numerous services including
cooking, cleaning, performing her Deity duties, helping with pandals, traveling, preaching or
collecting donations—a seemingly endless marathon from one service to another. Yet, while
always gracious and considerate, she was reserved in her dealings with men, and even with
women she did not know well, like me.

Of course, there were sometimes unforeseen circumstances which upended her

determination to remain aloof from men, such as the time in February 1974 when George
Harri-son came to Vrindavan. When he saw Yamuna devi, he not only warmly embraced her in a
bear hug, but kissed her as well. Yamuna, though happy to see George, was mortified.
 Yamuna: So it was starting to become massively challenging for me in Vrindavan by the
end of 1973. As far as possible, I tried to remain in the background and not be seen, yet continue
my services to Srila Prabhu-pada to the best of my ability. But I was beginning to sink into a sea
of confusion.

My First Encounters with Yamuna Devi in India

I first passed through Vrindavan for one night with Palika devi, who accompanied me
from Bombay to New Delhi in early October of 1973. I had foolishly arrived in India on a
three-week tourist visa, unaware that I would have to leave the country to extend it. Palika, the
wife of Bhavananda das, who had recently taken sannyasa, was a competent, self-assured woman
who was not afraid to reveal her mind. She was also fastidious, a dedicated cook to Srila
Prabhupada, and meticulously clean. I served with her during much of my stay in India.
Particularly memorable to me was acting as her shopping and cooking assistant for Srila
Prabhupada in Bombay, Hyderabad and Tirupati. I once entered Srila Prabhupada’s room with
her in Bombay in early 1974, and he matter-of-factly asked her if she needed any saris. I think
she was taken aback by the question, but then he continued, “Now that your husband has taken
sannyasa, I am responsible for all your needs, so if you require anything, you should come to me,
and I will provide it.” I was extremely moved by his care and compassion because even though I
had been blessed by his association a few times, until then I had constructed a rather dogmatic
picture of Srila Prabhupada in my mind—a fictional characterization of someone with no human
traits who wielded a sword of edicts and instructions.

We stopped for a day in Vrindavan and stayed in Yamuna’s room at the Radha-Damodara
Temple, although she was not there at the time. Palika found some of Yamuna’s rare imported
pasta and made it for us, telling me that Yamuna wouldn’t mind because she was so renounced.
Truthfully, I felt like a trespasser and was a bit intimidated, having heard so much about her in
my Krishna Conscious life. We continued on by train the next day—Palika to join Yamuna in
Delhi to prepare for the upcoming second Delhi pandal, and me to Nepal to renew my visa.

I will never forget the return trip to New Delhi from Katmandu in early November. The
devotees had moved into a new temple in Anand Niketan, and Srila Prabhupada was present to
attend the second Delhi pandal. It was the first time I had seen him in India, and his mood was
fiery and uncompromising, both in his preaching and with the devotees themselves. I had arrived
just in time for the kirtan before class one evening, and Yamuna was among the devotees in
attendance.

“You’ve Left Krishna Sitting on the Fence Post” — A

Lesson for All Students

This was an especially illustrative experience because it highlighted how Srila

Prabhupada was determined to teach the devotees that whatever was established in India,
especially in relation to serving the Deities and the Vaishnavas, must be properly maintained.
Yamuna and I both later recalled what happened in a talk at the Radha-Gopinatha Temple in
Mumbai.

Dinatarini: This took place in Delhi, and why it was so profound to me was that I had
just arrived in India, and I found when I got to Bombay that my visa was only good for three
weeks and I had to leave India to get it renewed. So I went to Nepal.

On the return trip, I came to the Delhi temple. The devotees had just moved to Anand
Niketan. Srila Prabhupada was … sitting on his vyasasana with a very stern, sober look on his
face. Yamuna devi had come into the room, and then a kirtan began.

Yamuna: I was leading the kirtan.

Dinatarini: Yamuna began leading the kirtan, and all of a sudden, without any warning,
Srila Prabhupada stopped the kirtan. And he looked over at Yamuna devi with deep gravity, his
voice loud and piercing, and said, “How could you have let this happen? You have left Krishna
sitting out on the fence post.” And the amazing thing was that Yamuna was not even from the
Delhi temple. She was part of the Vrindavan project, and had just come to the Delhi temple as a
visitor to help with the pandal program.

Yamuna arranging a taxi from Vrindavan to Delhi

He didn’t direct his question to Tejas das, the temple president. He didn’t direct it to
anyone else—just Yamuna. So, of course, Yamuna didn’t know what he was referring to; but
Srila Prabhupada had noticed that the Deities were wearing the same marigold garlands They had
worn the day before. Yamuna tried to defend herself and explained, “Srila Prabhupada, I am just
visiting; I don’t have anything to do with the Deity program.” But he still chastised her,
illustrating for all of us that what Srila Prabhupada has given, we have to try to preserve that. So
Srila Prabhupada said to Yamuna: “I have trained you in Deity worship.” As much as she carried
on her shoulders in Vrindavan, with all of her Deity and other services there, he still expected her
to teach others—to establish a standard to be met and maintained. And he felt that somehow that
should extend to New Delhi and beyond.

Yamuna: He also said to all of us, “You may think that ‘Here is a stone statue, an idol,
standing before me,’ and you may think, ‘Let me give this rubbish garland to this stone statue.’
And Krishna will not protest. But if you do that, then this Krishna will remain a stone statue to
you forever. So please take care.”

He made it clear how important it is to be attentive to our service to Krishna and our
service to Krishna’s devotees. Under the merciful instructions of the Spiritual Master and in a
loving way, we’re supposed to help each other go back to Godhead. That’s a glorious thing to
explore because there’s no end to it. As long as we’re breathing, there is no end to the potential
for helping each other become Krishna Conscious in every minute of our existence by following
the instructions of our Spiritual Master.

1974 — Yamuna’s Final Year on the Krishna-Balarama

Project

Yamuna: In 1973, some new and old women friends joined our ranks for some time.
Most were saintly and uplifting souls, and exhibited kindness in thought and deed—Aditi from
Europe, Bhadra Priya from Montreal, Rukmini from California, and Palika, Prabhupada’s
off-and-on traveling cook in India. Each was mature enough to appreciate the challenges of
devotional practice under trying circumstances, and they avoided piercing criticism and
judgment. But not all were of that mood. In late 1973, two householder women joined the
Vrindavan team armed with quivers full of sharp arrows. In both cases, I ended up as their target
practice. Having had virtually no female company for a full year, I was especially eager for the
warmth of female friendship. One woman and her husband quickly became close friends with my
husband, but not with me. The wife especially found me lacking, particularly in submission to my
husband. The other woman would have preferred me gone forever.

In weakness, I caved in and began what would become a downward spiral of self-pity,
self-criticism and a loss of self-worth. Feeling hopelessly unqualified to surmount these obstacles
in addition to the mountain of challenges already faced, I began to think that I should leave the
project. I began to feel the loss of my natural enthusiasm and footing in Krishna Consciousness
and became more and more reclusive. All the while, I began devising ways to leave—to try to
find some strength and clarity. Envy has no place in spiritual life, and I had experienced envy
before. But I had become weakened by the obstacles and was now not able to overcome them.
 Yamuna sits on darshan mandap steps, facing the tamal tree

As the year progressed, the fighting, bitterness and frustration increased among our once
happy devotional family, and it became heart wrenching. There was quarreling in our camp about
everything, from how to do things to when to do things. Devotional practices became less
regulated or strong as a group. Some members were “drinking water underwater on a fast day.”
Because when Krishna Consciousness is followed, then success is assured. But for this work to
be going so slowly, there was some deficiency in the practice of Krishna Consciousness and the
sincere endeavor to do what the Spiritual Master asks.

Srila Prabhupada was not pleased with the progress of the construction, and I believe our
spiritual progress in Krishna Consciousness was being influenced to some degree by the material
difficulties of living in a holy place of pilgrimage—so many extremes. Of course tapasya, or
austerity, is required for one to advance in Krishna Consciousness, but the tapasya in Vrindavan
was generally very difficult for the Westerners, at least initially, to endure. There was a great
fluctuation in heat and cold and difficulty working with the Indian people, who were always
trying to cheat. So progress in Krishna Consciousness could be difficult under those conditions.
The great pitfall of trying to be materially happy or being dejected by material difficulties was
something that everyone confronts when they serve in the holy dhama. So for me, not being able
to report directly to Srila Prabhupada, and having to work instead with some of his deputed
managers who had not had the experiences we had already dealt with was very difficult. Working
with Srila Prabhupada was on one platform; trying to work through an ever-changing procession
of managers with so many differences of opinion and no consensus was a different thing
altogether. In all honesty, I didn’t meet this particular challenge with much equilibrium or
steadiness.

Someone once asked me what characteristic of Yamuna I found the most extraordinary or
unique. I unhesitatingly replied that she was the most nonenvious person I had ever met in this
life. It always left me amazed, because the scriptures say that envy is the most difficult obstacle
to overcome on the devotional path because we originally derived our enviousness toward the
Supreme Godhead Himself. In all the years I knew her, Yamuna was open-hearted, forgiving and
consistently nonenvious. She regularly extolled the wonderful virtues in others, often giving them
credit for services she in fact had performed. If anyone committed an offense against her, she
forgave them. If there was a negative side to this aspect of her character, it was that she often
could not see envious behavior in others as envy. Sometimes, if someone exhibited envy toward
her, she would say, “Why are they doing or saying what they are doing or saying?” And I would
answer that it was simply envy. She would ask a series of questions like “How is that possible?”
and I came to understand that she simply did not have the capacity to understand envy, because
she did not have it.

The Opening of the Krishna-Balarama Temple is Again

Delayed

Yamuna: Srila Prabhupada came in and out of Vrindavan many times in late 1973 and
1974 because we Western disciples had no knowledge of the language, nor of anything to do with
business … but we were still trying to build the Krishna-Balarama Temple, so Srila Prabhupada
had to come often to help us move the project forward in a timely fashion.

So at the time the temple was set to open on Gaura Purnima, 1974. Srila Prabhupada
conceived of two pilgrimages, beginning in Mayapur and ending in Vrindavan. Our Vrindavan
camp was in total disarray. They had just partially finished one building in Mayapur, which they
had started the year before. It was a skeleton of a building. But in Vrindavan we were all spread
out—none of us living in the same place, and none of the construction anywhere near completed.
When the devotees shifted from Mayapur to Vrindavan, everything was disorganized. I was
feeling so much pressure from Srila Prabhupada in my service, and for the first time I felt I
couldn’t possibly take care of the devotees—to arrange for their prasadam and see they had water
buckets, arrange rickshaws to get them into town, and so many other things I had always done.
 Yamuna was in so much distress about the possibility of many devotees coming from the
West to Vrindavan at that chaotic time that she and Guru das actually went to Mayapur to plead
with Srila Prabhupada to cancel the Vrindavan leg of the pilgrimage. However, it was not to be,
and they had to rush back and arrange living quarters for them, rent a pandal, hire enough cooks
for their meals, and try to create a warm and memorable atmosphere. Unfortunately, by the time
the devotees arrived, most of them were already sick with dysentery and other tropical diseases,
which added dramatically to the workload.

Yamuna: The day the devotees registered I was struck by how many different
nationalities were present: Americans, Brits, Scots, French, Poles, Irish, Canadians, Australians,
New Zealanders and Africans. It was the largest international contingent of Vaishnavas in
Vrindavan of the century. For many, it was their first visit to India. They had spent a fortnight or
so in Mayapur, and by the time they arrived in Vrindavan, many had digestive problems and
dysentery. We had little time to arrange for much more than a clean room, clean bedding, clean
water for drinking and bathing and clean, healthy prasadam.

They stayed at Fogal Ashram, a short distance from our construction site. Srila
Prabhupada was living in his partially-built quarters. So for one of the first times, I didn’t cook
for Srila Prabhupada and instead tried to care for the devotee pilgrims. Sometimes when he did
not see me for a while, he would ask, “Where is Yamuna?” Then whoever he asked would say
that I was busy serving the devotees at Fogal Ashram.

Visakha devi: When I saw Yamuna in Vrindavan, she was always up against great odds.
Sometimes the climate was oppressive. Sometimes the male devotees she was constantly dealing
with were unreasonable and difficult to communicate with. One year, 1974, Yamuna was in
charge of hosting the devotees during their annual pilgrimage to Vrindavan after their pilgrimage
to Mayapur. She arranged for us to stay in Fogal Ashram, and she arranged our menus, which
included salad and other healthy choices. In trying to satisfy the needs of so many devotees who
had such diverse needs, Yamuna was clearly taxed.

Srutirupa devi: I first met Yamuna in 1974 in Vrindavan after the Mayapur festival in
1974. She was like this ethereal being—larger than life. I had just come from Miami and became
ill. We were staying at Fogal Ashram, and Yamuna was responsible for arranging the prasadam
and getting all the devotees settled and caring for them. Even though it was just chaotic and she
was doing everything, she still had the time to see to my personal well-being and care.

Yamuna: The wife of one of our team members had just come from Europe and was very
enthusiastic to cook for Srila Prabhupada. So I thought that she would cook for Srila Prabhupada,
and I would try to take care of the devotees. Srila Prabhupada, of course, could tell there was
some problem with my mentality—some difficulty in my Krishna Consciousness. So many times
he asked where I was and what I was doing. Actually, I was working very, very long, hard hours
trying to serve the devotees. Many days I didn’t even see Srila Prabhupada, and I was feeling
more and more morose as the days went by and I hadn’t gone to see him. On the other hand, I felt
that Srila Prabhupada knew everything and knew me, so he would see in my face such a dejected
person who was not enthusiastic in Krishna Consciousness, and it would be painful for him to see
such a face. I felt at the time that I was such a fallen soul, it would be better if he did not see me
this way. So I just worshiped him within my heart and prayed that somehow he would forgive
me.

This went on for several days, and finally Srila Prabhupada said, “Bring her here.” So
when I got there it was during the evening darshan hours. When he saw me, Srila Prabhupada
began to tell the story from the Krsna book about how the Yamuna River had been offensive in
not coming when Lord Balarama called her, and so Lord Balarama pulled her by force with His
plow, thereby altering the course of the Yamuna River. He was speaking metaphorically about
the fact that because I was fallen, he would personally drag me to Krishna. Of course, Srila
Prabhupada was always dragging me, but this was more emphatic than I had ever experienced.
Bharadraja das commented to me afterwards, “Do you know what happened in that room?” and I
said, “I am so amazed right now that I am not sure what happened.”

Yamuna never forgot the lessons of that exchange. Even seen through the veil of her
despondency, she understood the compassion, blessings and extreme mercy Srila Prabhupada had
bestowed upon her. She often reflected that all of Srila Prabhupada’s demonstrations of mercy,
whether shown through kindness, chastisements or instruction, were like precious gems which
made up the necklace of her devotion throughout her life.

Giriraja Swami: Yamuna was trying to make arrangements for the devotees’ prasadam
[at Fogal Ashram]. She had no facility, she was unable to speak Hindi and communicate with the
locals, and the assistant cooks were ready to walk out at any time. She was working practically
twenty-four hours. And she didn’t go to see Prabhupada the entire time. She began to get
messages: “Prabhupada wants you”—but she didn’t go. She just replied, “Tell him I am really
busy.” She told me later, “Bad, very bad—really low consciousness.” When finally she came to
Prabhupada’s room, he was about to go out. So she came back the next morning.

Yamuna had given the new cook specific instructions. Still, the lady had taken Srila
Prabhupada’s cooker and his unclean laundry and stuffed them into a bolster pillowcase meant
for his seating area, now black all over the bottom. Yamuna arrived just as the lady was putting
the cooker in with the clothes, into the pillowcase. Srila Prabhupada was also standing there,
watching the cooker being shoved into the pillowcase. He didn’t say a word—not to the cook, not
to Yamuna.

“Prabhupada knows everything,” Ya-muna told me later. Thus he said to her, “Are you
too busy to come? So I am delaying my departure for one day.” The men said, “But the cars are
ready. We’re just loading them.” “No, Yamuna will stay here and cook for me tomorrow,” Srila
Prabhupada stated unequivocally. “I am staying, and she is going to cook for me tomorrow
morning, and then we will go.”

Prabhupada’s cooker and shoes at Banabehari Mandir, Saranagati

Yamuna clearly understood Srila Prabhu-pada’s unstated directive regarding his cooker
and clothes. He had trained her that the bottom of a pot must be as clean as the inside—a lesson
Yamuna was adamant about throughout her remaining years. She knew that had it been her who
had put the dirty cooker in with Srila Prabhupada’s clothes, his chastisement would have been
immediate and emphatic. Yet, Srila Prabhupada understood the mentality of his students and
seemed to have an acute sense when their faith was not strong enough to bear chastisement. So
without saying anything, Yamuna removed and cleaned the cooker, and the next day cooked as
Srila Prabhupada desired. She had his clothes and pillowcase cleaned and ironed, and then quietly
repacked them in his suitcase with the spotless cooker.

I remember attending a program once wearing a white sari and carrying a large pot filled
with a preparation Yamuna had made. When we entered, I sat down and placed the pot on my
lap, which prompted a surprised reaction and intake of breath from some of the other guests. Just
as they were certain that placing the pot on my white sari would make it black, I was certain that
the bottom of the pot was immaculate. It did not even cross my mind that it could be otherwise,
because this was one of Yamuna’s inviolable kitchen principles.
 Yamuna’s Cooking Service for Srila Prabhupada at Raman
Reti

Yamuna: From the spring of 1972 through the fall of 1974, I was Srila Prabhupada’s
unofficial Vrindavan cook. I took care of both the Radha-Damodara and Raman Reti kitchens and
did most of his cooking. The Raman Reti kitchen (at the construction site for the
Krishna-Balarama Temple) was a makeshift affair in a room under construction, with bare brick
walls, a concrete floor, and unfinished window frames with temporary bars to ward off monkeys.
Two metal trunks held pots, utensils and dry staples like dal, rice and spices. Like many kitchens
in Vrindavan, this one had no electricity or running water, but Srila Prabhupada seemed to like it,
wandering in on many occasions to observe cooking activities in progress.

The Raman Reti kitchen circa 1973

I worked within an area of the rough floor I’d marked off with bricks mortared together
with Yamuna River mud. Every morning, 72-year-old Anand Prabhu, Srila Prabhupada’s
Godbrother and one of my all-time favorite cooking teachers, would walk nearly two miles to
bring me two buckets of fresh, sweet well-water for cooking. I used two stoves—a gas burner and
a portable wood stove, called a chula, which was little more than a five-gallon galvanized bucket
covered with a thick layer of smooth mud. On either stove, I cooked the main meal in Srila
Prabhupada’s three-tiered brass steamer. But the chapatis were always griddle-baked and
flame-toasted on the chula, over a mixture of four parts aromatic neem (margosa) coals and one
part dried cow-dung patties. (BACK TO GODHEAD)

Yamuna remembered many instructions and chastisements from Srila Prabhupada during
the 1974 months. Some were subtle, while others were almost surreal in their transparency.
Already overwhelmed by the many responsibilities and difficulties she faced, she still cooked for
Srila Prabhupada when he came to Vrindavan. When I arrived in Vrindavan in the summer of
1974, I had the fortune to witness Yamuna’s cooking in that makeshift kitchen. What she was
able to prepare and serve Srila Prabhupada from what she called a “no-facility zone” was nothing
short of a miracle to me. One particular incident remains prominent, and I’ve told this
extraordinary story to many aspiring cooks over the years.

Srila Prabhupada arrived unannounced one night at around 10:00 PM, and immediately
called on Yamuna to prepare a meal. Of course, there were no refrigerators then, so all produce
and other cooking necessities were purchased as needed on a daily basis and used in one day. At
this time of night there was no possibility of shopping for produce. Concerned as to how Yamuna
would manage, I came into the kitchen to find, as expected, that there was only one tomato, one
papadam (a thin, cracker-like wafer made with dal paste), one potato and about a handful of
wheat. Yet, in what seemed like minutes, Yamuna had made a papadam-tomato soup, a moist
potato vegetable dish and a large paratha. Srila Prabhupada was very pleased with the result and
showered her with praise. With virtually nothing to work with, she had made a exquisite meal for
Srila Prabhupada in less than fifteen minutes. Yamuna always had the ability to make everything
taste delicious and unique. Srila Prabhupada used to sometimes say that she cooked like
Radharani, who never made the same dish twice.

Srila Prabhupada also used the cooking medium to teach Yamuna important lessons in
devotional service through chastisement. She often spoke of the unusual occasion when Srila
Prabhupada sent his secretary, Satsvarupa Maharaja, into the kitchen to “teach her how to make
chapatis.” As mentioned before, Yamuna had become expert in the art of regional
chapati-making techniques—so much so that Srila Prabhupada regularly complimented her on
her chapatis. In this case, she felt that perhaps Srila Prabhupada was addressing her overall
frustration or her feelings of self-doubt in order to remind her of the importance of always
practicing humility in devotional life. Yamuna later related the incident with a great deal of
humor, but at the time she understood exactly what Srila Prabhupada was doing—dragging
Yamuna to his lotus feet like Lord Balarama. Once, during a visit with Giriraja Swami in
California, he recorded Yamuna as she told the story:

Srila Prabhupada’s Chapati Chastisement

Yamuna: One time when Srila Prabhupada came—I think it was the first time I met
Satsvarupa das Goswami; he was Prabhupada’s servant—I was on a bucket stove again, on the
floor—no kitchen. I was making Prabhupada’s prasadam, and as you may or may not know,
when you cook with a bucket stove, and you have a little bit of hard coal and a little bit of soft
coal, and then a little bit of cow dung, it is a little hard to regulate. There is a certain temperature,
and you cannot turn a switch to make it higher or lower. And then, depending on the thickness of
the pot, you know what intensity you want. And there is what you call a tawa, which is a concave
iron griddle, and to make a chapati, you keep that on the stove and then lift it off to put the
chapati on top of the flame. So I made chapatis for Prabhupada’s lunch.

Satsvarupa Maharaja wanted to bring in the lunch, thinking that I probably shouldn’t do
it. He brought in the plate, came back into the kitchen, and said, “Prabhupada wants me to teach
you how to make chapatis.” And I said, “Oh, Maharaja, I would be so grateful if you could do
that. I’d love to learn to make chapatis. Please.”

Then I got up, and he began to wash his hands. By the time he sat down and rolled out a
chapati, the tawa was really hot. He rolled out an octopus-like chapati. Now, when you roll out a
chapati, the ball bearings for rolling it out is a dusting of flour, and if you roll the chapati in too
much flour, you actually roll flour into the surface of the flatbread, and then even if you try to
flap it off, you will still have a crust of flour. So you use a minimal amount for the ball bearings
and then flap off the little extra.

His octopus was covered with flour on a hot tawa. When he put it on, I said, “Maharaja,
what should I be looking for?” [laughter] He said, “You wait until there are pimples on the top.”
As soon as the chapati hit the griddle—very hot—the pimples came very fast. He turned the
chapati over, and there were little burnt holes. [laughter] So there was no question of it puffing
up. So he put it on a plate … and he took it in to Prabhupada. Then he came back and told me,
“Prabhupada said, ‘This is excellent.’” [laughter] So that’s how Prabhupada taught me. It was
never with a whip, but they were beatings nonetheless. They were beatings over my head.

Prabhupada mercifully revealed Vrindavan to us, sometimes with encouragement and

sometimes with chastisement. While we were trying to do the Vrindavan project, Prabhupada
gave us lots of chastisement. Chastisement is a special relationship that one has with the Spiritual
Master, and sometimes it’s difficult to appreciate its potency when you’re being chastised, but in
retrospect it becomes a relishable mercy. When you get chastised; you feel your energy change,
and sometimes it takes a long time to put the beauty of that chastisement into perspective. We
continue to learn from it years and years later. Because when you get chastised, you feel a little
whip, a little like slapping. But that kind of mercy we got a great deal of on the Vrindavan
project.

“This Temple Must be Opened by Janmastami” — An

Impossible Task

When I arrived in Raman Reti in June of 1974, I was confronted with a massive
construction site. There was a hive of activity, yet it was far from being finished. Also, there was
no place for women to reside, so Srila Prabhupada had given permission for Yamuna to stay in
what became his dining area adjoining what was then the makeshift kitchen. Yamuna kindly
allowed the other women, myself included, to stay with her in that room. Surrounding the walls
on three sides were the glorious cloth-covered marble Deities. Although Yamuna was gracious
and cordial, it was obvious that she was overwhelmed and despondent. She knew full well that
the temple would not be completed by Janmastami, and yet Srila Prabhupada was still getting
reports that all would be ready. Feeling massively pressured from within and without, Yamuna
would leave early each morning to begin her services and return only to sleep.

Yamuna: Now Srila Prabhupada was really pressing that “This temple must be opened by
Janmastami.” Even though he had tried to bridge the differences among the members, the
fighting and offenses were continuing. Quite frankly, as far as anyone could see, on every level
there were differences of opinion. From Delhi, from the Bombay side, from Vrindavan and in
between, there were differences of opinion. So once, Saurabha das and Guru das went to Srila
Prabhupada to vent their differences. They each tried to speak their specific grievances in front of
Srila Prabhupada. And in the end, Srila Prabhupada would not take the side of either one. He
said, “I have left this work to you both; now simply do it.” He then added, “This fighting must
stop. The work cannot go on if it does not stop. You are both my sons. You must do this work
jointly.” But even then it did not stop.

So I could see that the temple was not going to be ready for the opening, and it fractured
my heart. But for some reason, because Srila Prabhupada had so much wanted it opened, and no
one wanted to disappoint him, others were saying, “We can do it. We can do it. We will be
finished.” But we were too far behind schedule—it would not be finished.

In March, Tamal Krishna Goswami asked us to leave the Radha-Damodara Temple, but
there was no place for me to live on the Raman Reti land except for Srila Prabhupada’s partially
built quarters. The men were living in a series of three grass huts with a little kitchen off to the
side. Much to my total amazement, Srila Prabhupada said, “You must stay in my house, Yamuna.
It is your house. I just come to visit as a guest here.” He was so overwhelmingly considerate and
trying to take care of me. It was a very difficult time, so I took one small room in his house. Of
course, there was great opposition to that also. Wherever I lived, it seemed that there was
opposition, and I felt I hardly had any place there to work or to live. So by Janmastami I was still
staying in his house (much to my amazement), in the room which became his dining room. All of
the Deities from Jaipur were also in that room, along with two or three other women. Srila
Prabhupada’s bed was then in his greeting room, his bedroom was the temporary kitchen, and the
little room on the other side was for his secretary.

To Live and Serve on a Construction Site

One of the great blessings only realized by me later was that our meals were prepared by
His Grace Anand Prabhu, a humble and glorious Vaishnava who was not only Srila Prabhupada’s
Godbrother, but had also cooked for Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur. I did not have the
maturity to appreciate this honor at the time, but I have wonderful memories of him. He was truly
para-dukha-dukhi, kind to every living entity, and any person or animal that came to the kitchen
was given some prasadam or bhoga by Anand Prabhu. Needless to say, this was not appreciated
by the managers. I remember once seeing no less than ten peacocks surrounding the kitchen area,
and Anand Prabhu was carefully putting out grains for them. He was, as Srila Prabhupada said, a
true and sincere Vaishnava.

Anand Prabhu serves the devotees

One of the biggest hurdles we faced each day was bathing. The only place to bathe was
the pit the bricks were soaked in. The women were given the time between 2:30 AM and 3:00
AM to bathe. We would go with our inefficient flashlights to find that often the trenches
(sometimes six feet deep) had been changed and the pathway to the tank no longer existed. Upon
finally finding our perilous way there, we were met almost daily by the extraordinary vision of a
mangy, diseased dog stretched out in our bathwater, with only his head showing above it. We
would chase him out and then have to bathe in the same water. When Srila Prabhupada came in
August, the dog, nicknamed Dogwood by the devotees, would unfailingly attend his Bhagavatam
classes in the unfinished temple. During Srila Prabhupada’s classes, the dog would find his way
to the cool marble altars, stretch himself out on one of them, and begin to loudly wheeze. At first,
Srila Prabhupada would stop class and say, “What is that?” and when informed of the dog, he
would say, “Take him out.” But afterwards, Srila Prabhupada would usually ignore the wheezing
unless it became too loud, whereupon he would simply say, “All right. Take him out.”

Pooja Anand devi: Pishima shared how, during the building of the Krishna-Balarama
Temple in Raman Reti, then mostly forested, the men would go to the river Yamuna for a bath.
The ladies had to dress the Deities and prepare the bhoga in the early hours of the morning, and
hence had only enough time to have a bath from a water tank that was used to keep the bricks
meant for construction submerged in water. Soon the ladies noticed a dog sitting in the same
tank, with only his head above the water, to relieve himself of acute itching and pain he was
suffering from sarcoptic mange. There was no hair on his body, and his skin was itchy and full of
pus. Pishima found the scientific name of the disease. A few days later, Pishima developed boils
and an itch on her hands. She would just apply some turmeric and get back to her service. This
time after being with her, I was heading back to my apartment with tears rolling down on my
face. I was crying because it is thanks to the sacrifice, struggle, austerity, determination, and
dedication to serving Srila Prabhupada and Sri Sri Radha-Krishna by devoted, exalted disciples
like Yamuna Devi that we are reaping the fruit of wonderful temples, books, paintings, Deities,
music and much more…. I feel so indebted to every one of them.

The Krishna-Balarama Temple Does Not Open on

Janmastami

Although the devotees working on the Krishna-Balarama Temple project had often
witnessed Srila Prabhupada’s anger and displeasure, I was not prepared for what occurred when
he first arrived on August 4, 1974, expecting the temple to be ready for the Grand Opening
celebration. Invitations had already been sent out to prominent politicians, businessmen and some
of his Godbrothers. Satsvarupa Maharaja wrote of his arrival in the Srila Prabhupada-lilamrta:

AUGUST 4, 1974—When Prabhupada’s car pulled up at the ISKCON property in Raman

Reti, a group of devotees greeted him with kirtan and flowers. Some twenty-five devotees from
temples around the world had already gathered for the grand opening celebration, and along with
the Vrindavan devotees, they crowded happily around Srila Prabhupada. No formal walkways
had been constructed, and Prabhupada walked through the half-constructed walls, past piles of
sand and bricks, making his way toward the Deity house. Even here the lack of ornamentation
and finishing was apparent, and rubble lay all around.

“What is this?” Prabhupada demanded as he toured the construction site. “There is

nothing here. Where is the temple? You told me the temple was finished.” Guru das, Saurabha,
Gunarnava, and others directly responsible were unable to answer. Their faces went white.
Prabhupada was furious. “How can you open this?” The visiting devotees also began speaking
among themselves: “It’s not ready. How can we open?” “But Prabhupada,” said one devotee,
“devotees from all over the world are coming.” “Stop them immediately!” Prabhupada said.
“There will be no opening!”

Prabhupada had burst the bubble, the illusion that they would be ready for the grand
opening. Prabhupada’s anger was frightening, and the devotees who surrounded him were no
longer carefree and joyful. “You were going to open this temple?” Prabhupada scoffed….

In his room Prabhupada’s anger only increased. He yelled at Guru das for
mismanagement. He yelled at Saurabha. He yelled at all of them. No one dared to offer
suggestions or excuses. There was nothing to do but turn white and become depressed.
Prabhupada suddenly inquired whether the temple could be opened, despite the mess. “Can you
have the Deity rooms ready at least?” He turned to Surabha. “This is an insult to our Society.
What will people think? We have announced it everywhere!”

—SRILA PRABHUPADA-LILAMRTA

I was present at this shellacking by Srila Prabhupada and was stunned to see how each
leader responded to Srila Prabhupada’s questions. In my recollection, as we all sat in his room, he
asked each leader and responsible person why the temple was not ready, and particularly why he
had not been informed before he invited people from all over the world. To my amazement, each
person more or less cast blame on another person in the room. No one wanted to be the focus of
Srila Prabhupada’s anger; I had never seen him this angry. Yamuna was sitting as far in the back
as possible, head bent and sari pulled down over her face. After Srila Prabhupada had asked each
and every leader what had happened, he looked over at Yamuna and said, “Now Yamuna, you
tell me what is really going on here.” I could see the faces of the men become set like stone.
Yamuna, already carrying the weight of her own feelings of failure on her shoulders, did not want
to speak, and demurred. But Srila Prabhupada insisted. Finally, she revealed that she felt the
problems were mainly due to the devotees’ lack of respect for each other and offenses committed
in the holy dhama. She added that she felt it would not be possible to open the temple at this time
under any circumstances and gave her reasoning:

Yamuna: Devotees had come from all over the world for the opening, but there was no
place for them to stay. The temple was not done—even the Deity area was nowhere near being
finished. When everyone was in the room that first day, he asked all of the leading members what
was their opinion. Everyone gave their opinion. When Srila Prabhupada finally asked me, I first
said that I felt totally unqualified to speak and probably had no right to speak. But after he again
pressed, I stated my feeling that it would be almost impossible to actually open the temple. There
was no pujari, there was no facility—nothing was finished on any front. “We have invited so
many people from all around the world to come, and I was not informed of this. Now you all
decide,” he finally said. So the leading members sat down with His Divine Grace, along with the
Krishna-Balarama team members, including myself. They also agreed the temple could not be
opened at this time. So Janmastami and Vyasa Puja celebrations went on in a limited way, and
then Srila Prabhupada became gravely ill.

As a witness to these exchanges, I will never forget my sense of amazement that Srila
Prabhupada held Yamuna’s opinion in such high esteem. Even though she had tried to remain in
the background, he felt that above all others, her assessment of the project’s deficiencies would
be the most honest and objective. In discussing this in later years, Yamuna mentioned that most
of the team members were struggling under the weight of their own burdens, and these
frustrations manifested differently in each of them. She ultimately empathized with them and
forgave any offenses against herself.

The date for the opening of the Krishna-Balarama Temple was extended once again to
Rama Navami in April 1975. Yamuna immersed herself in her variegated services and wrote in
her journal of a visit with Srila Prabhupada on Janmastami morning.

Yamuna’s Journal: At about 10:30 on the morning of Janmastami, I brought to Srila

Prabhupada some arati equipment we had made for the Krishna-Balarama Temple. Prabhupada
looked at it and said, “Do you have these in silver?” and I said, “No, Srila Prabhupada. Our
intention was first to have all of them made in bell metal and see if the organization is such that
they are nicely taken care of, and there is no loss.” He replied, “Yes, this is a good idea.” I also
proposed that in front of the Deity area there is a pravesh mandap. At one end is a place for Srila
Prabhupada’s vyasasana. Just directly across from that there is another space the same size. So I
proposed that in Alwar, we could get beautiful large kettledrums that are classically used in aratis
in the prominent North Indian temples. We could add very nice gongs, and a bell that would sit
atop the temple with a long rope attached to it. By pulling that long rope, the temple bell would
ring during the arati ceremony. I had an idea that at the other end, directly across from Srila
Prabhupada, we would have these instruments sitting there. During the arati they would all
accompany the kirtan, and when the arati was not in session, there could be some cushions there
and twenty-four-hour kirtan could go on for the pleasure of the Deities. Srila Prabhupada replied,
“Yes, this is a very good idea for pleasing Krishna and Balarama. They will bless you for such
planning matters.”

“My Illness is Because the Leaders Are Not Strictly

Following”

The day after Vyasa Puja, Srila Prabhupada, deeply disappointed by what he had seen and
heard in Vrindavan, fell gravely ill with malaria. It was the most disturbing event in my Krishna
Conscious experience, because we all felt that he may leave his body. He had actually revealed to
us that his illness was due to many of his leaders not following the practices of Krishna
Consciousness.

AUGUST 12, 1974—Prabhupada explained that his illness was due to the sins of the
ISKCON leaders, eighty percent of whom were not strictly following the rules and regulations,
he said. Even in Vrindavan some of the devotees weren’t regularly rising at 4:00 AM. Since
Prabhupada was speaking little, he had only briefly mentioned this cause of his illness. But brief
as it was, it crushed his disciples. As for who was guilty, each disciple would have to say for
himself. But in a mood of “Oh, God, what have we done?” all the disciples in Vrindavan
immediately became very attentive to the rules and regulations….

Prabhupada said that his “misdeed” was accepting so many disciples, but he had no
choice for spreading Krishna Consciousness. The Spiritual Master sometimes suffers, he said, so
that the disciples may know, “Due to our sinful activities, our Spiritual Master is suffering,” and
this always had a sobering effect on any would-be offender. But now, for the first time,
Prabhupada was specifically blaming his disciples for a serious illness. By neglecting their
Spiritual Master’s most basic instructions, they were causing him great distress. They understood
that their Spiritual Master was no ordinary malaria victim, and they knew they had to correct their
mistakes and pray to Krishna that Prabhupada would get better.

—SRILA PRABHUPADA-LILAMRTA
 Yamuna: Srila Prabhupada became bedridden for weeks. Brahmananda Swami was there
for some time directing things. Bhagavan das came and tried to direct things for a while. He left,
and then Jagadish das came and tried to direct things, and one night he left. So in the course of
this short period of time things were quite disorganized. We had three GBCs in that period come
and go. Finally Srila Prabhupada said, “I will be GBC,” and yet he was so sick. He was
sometimes sleeping outside underneath a mosquito net, or inside in his greeting room next to the
room the ladies were sleeping in. He had to be carried by two men now, and Srutakirti was
always with him, serving him very sincerely. It was a very painful time for me. But even though
Srila Prabhupada was sometimes moaning “uhhhhhh” sounds, whenever he was a bit relieved, he
was preaching. He was seeing Krishna, he was thinking Krishna, and he was always surcharged
with Krishna. Yet, this was the most severe sickness I had ever seen in him.

Srila Prabhupada continued instructing us during his illness. Because of the heat,
sometimes his bed, covered with a mosquito net, was moved to a cooler location outside—a place
that every one of us had to pass when we went to the bathroom area. His servants, Srutakirti and
Kuladri, would take turns massaging his feet, while Srila Prabhupada sometimes just moaned in
discomfort. So we were literally confronted with the results of our offenses each time we passed
his bed or heard him. I saw the entire painful saga as Krishna’s way of forcing us to bear witness
to the results of our offenses to the Spiritual Master. It was a dramatic lesson, and one which I
never forgot.

Yamuna: A twenty-four-hour kirtan was established at this time just outside his door, and
word was dispatched to all of the centers that twenty-four-hour kirtans should go on, along with
prayers for Srila Prabhupada’s recovery. Srila Prabhupada did not take any prasadam for at least
a fortnight, and Pishima was only making him Horlicks and sometimes just a little milk.

Srila Prabhupada’s illness and its aftermath were torturous for Yamuna. It had been
glaringly obvious to her for a long time that the temple would not be ready for the opening; yet
because of her perception of her own lack of Krishna Consciousness, she felt unqualified to
approach Srila Prabhupada directly. It was a low point in her devotional life—one which she later
analyzed and drew great strength from. Many years later, Yamuna expressed her realizations of
this arduous period in her life:

Yamuna: My own consciousness was reaching a very low state of disillusionment.

Krishna discusses the entire syndrome in Bhagavad-gita. From anger, delusion arises, and from
delusion, bewilderment of the memory. When memory is bewildered, intelligence is lost, and
when intelligence is lost, one falls down again into the material pool. The minute one forgets
Krishna, he must be engaged in some kind of maya—whether gross or subtle—and they are both
dangerous. When one is bewildered, there is no way to see anything because the intelligence is
temporarily lost. And when that position comes, of course, one can fall into so many kinds of
sense gratification. So I felt lost at this time—no place to bathe, great sickness all around (many
others had contracted malaria, including Srutakirti and Kuladri), no place for doing any of the
things that one does to practice sadhana, no facility even for chanting or even passing
stool—nothing.
 So I was beginning to feel so many pulls from many different elements. I was thinking,
“If I could just remove myself from this particular situation and try to get some strength, then I
could do more active service in Krishna Consciousness.” But of course I was married, had no
money, and no way to rectify the situation. I never revealed my mind to any of the women, and I
never complained to Srila Prabhupada. It just would never occur to me to do this. I tried never to
complain to my husband, and went through the movements of service like a robot.

Srila Prabhupada’s Instruction’s to Yamuna on

Cleanliness — The Black Floor Debacle

Yamuna: So when we first made the Vrindavan temple, we made every mistake
[possible]…. One mistake—one really good one—was the floor in Srila Prabhupada’s room. It
was black, but not granite. It is an amalgamate floor, where you put color in it—like a mixture,
and you put little marble chips in it—like that. So they put in it some wrong mixture of black in
with the aggregate, and when the floor dried, if you just rubbed your finger across it, your finger
became black.

So we were really nervous. How are we ever going to fix this? So we started a
day-and-night cleaning crew to try to clean Prabhupada’s floor. Wash it. Dry it. Black. Wash it.
Dry it. Black. We had this project of constant cleaning, trying to get the floor so it wouldn’t show
black. But nothing was working and, of course, I was in charge of Prabhupada’s rooms.

So with our brilliant intelligence, we decided to copy people who had white floors, so we
put down durries, and then put down white sheets over them. So any tiny bit of the floor that
wasn’t covered with the rugs and the white sheets—your feet got black. And you can have
completely white sheets, but when people came in the room and stepped from the floor to the
sheets, there were black footprints all over the white sheets.

So Srila Prabhupada commented, “Who has done this?”

 So it was my shoulders that this would fall on. My role was the Deity department and
Prabhupada’s rooms. So I had to make some ridiculous comment like, “What would you like,
Srila Prabhupada? I am not sure what to do.” And he said, “No intelligence. There is no
intelligence there.” “That is very true, Srila Prabhupada. Do you have any suggestions how I
could better take care of the room?” “No, you can figure this out. You figure this out.” So for
days I was trying to figure out what are we going to do. Finally, we took up the sheets. Then
Prabhupada said, “Where are the sheets?” “Srila Prabhupada, I took them off.” “Is that your
solution?” So really I don’t know how many months it took for those floors to be clean. But to
show you how strict Srila Prabhupada was with cleaning, we had a whole system: we would
clean everything above the floor last. We would do the floor first and then move up, clean
everything, and then come back down and clean the floor. So the whole room was cleaned twice.

A Lesson on Waste

Yamuna: Indian wooden matches have always seemed inferior to me. They snap easily,
their igniting tip is thin, often flaring rather than lighting, and they are anything but
water-resistant. One day as I was preparing the stove for cooking, I retrieved a matchbox from
the trunk, knelt down before the stove and struck a match. It fizzled. I struck a second one, and it
snapped into three pieces. The third went futz, futz and went out. The fourth flared briefly and
went out. Then Srila Prabhupada took the fifth out of my hand before I could strike it.

I recall his movements almost as if it were slow motion. With ease he struck the match
against the box, cupping his hands around the budding flame as if protecting it from Arctic
winds. The flame leapt out on the first strike as he lowered it to light the stove. As I looked at him
with puzzled awe, he spoke before I could open my mouth. “A devotee,” he said, “should become
expert, know how to use things properly and avoid waste.” As I looked at my small pile of unlit
matches resting before the stove (I see them again as I write), I realized how far I had to go in
these three areas. I am still working on them today. (BACK TO GODHEAD)
 This year, let us pray for ever-deepening appreciation and glorification of Srila
Prabhupada. Let us strive to increase our ability to relish him in new and fresh ways. Let us pray
to understand more and more about the how, what, when, where and why of Srila Prabhupada’s
mission.

The Stapler Story — “You Have Not Cleaned My Rooms

Today?”

Yamuna: One morning Srila Prabhupada came back from his walk and sat down at his
desk. I had thoroughly cleaned his rooms while he was on his walk, as I did each morning. But
this morning, he looked around his desk and reached across to the edge of the desk where there
was a tiny staple gun, about two inches in length. The mini staple gun was in a little plastic
envelope, like a little sleeve, to protect it. Prabhupada took the staple gun out of its case, opened
it so it was lying flat, took his little pinkie finger and went into the space between the knob and
the staple. He then rubbed his finger along it, held it up to me and said, “Dust. You have not
cleaned my rooms today?” “Yes, I did Srila Prabhupada.” “Haven’t I trained you how to clean
the room?” “Srila Prabhupada, I never thought to look there for dust.” “Asara. Useless,” he said.

So Srila Prabhupada was a little strict with me on cleaning—not just cleaning, but in
many ways. But today I treasure those lessons. I treasure that dust between Prabhupada’s stapler,
and I treasure his other instructions, because when the Spiritual Master is strict with you, it helps
you to be conscious of what conditioning means. Otherwise conditioning is just a word. The
concept that “I am conditioned from time immemorial” is hard to wrap your mind around. It is
just a huge thing, this conditioning. Unless we are trained by the Spiritual Master, getting out of
the conditioned state can be very slow. So when the Spiritual Master chastises you by giving you
instructions on simple things like this, it is very helpful.
 Yamuna Leaves Vrindavan but Keeps Vrindavan in Her
Heart

Earlier that spring, I had a botched surgery in a charitable hospital in Bombay, which left
me ill and weak for years afterward. So although I was an unofficial “shopper” for Srila
Prabhupada in Vrindavan while there, I was really ineffective as a servant or helpmate to anyone,
partly due to ill health and partly due to my own immaturity. Witnessing what Srila Prabhupada
went through, combined with my own health issues, prompted my leaving Vrindavan in early
September for England, with a short stop in New Delhi. I felt great empathy for Yamuna’s
suffering condition. It was etched on her face—a kind of expressionless “going through the
motions” look which I had also experienced before and knew well. So when I got to England, I
sent a letter offering two tickets for Yamuna and Madira in New Delhi to travel anywhere in the
world for a few weeks’ respite. Yamuna wrote back that she had gotten permission from Srila
Prabhupada to leave, and asked if I would meet her and Madira in Rome. I sent the tickets, and
when I arrived in Rome, much to my surprise, Guru das had come instead of Madira, which was
problematic because he had not been given permission to leave Vrindavan at the time.

Of course, I was unaware of this, and we tried to make the best of the time we had. We
traveled by train to Austria, and Yamuna and I read The Nectar of Devotion and took long walks
in the beautiful countryside. For the first time she opened up about the problems in virtually
every aspect of the Vrindavan project she had faced as a woman. What amazed me was that
although she had undergone what seemed insurmountable obstacles, she never lost her dedication
and faith in Srila Prabhupada. To the contrary, by the end of our stay, she was more determined
than ever to become Krishna Conscious.

Yamuna: It was October 4, 1974, that I took leave of Srila Prabhupada for some
rejuvenation from the Krishna-Balarama Temple project. Just prior to that date, I had realized the
need for trying to regain my spiritual strength, so I had increased the quality of my chanting of
Hare Krishna—trying to hear the chanting to the best of my ability. So that day when I entered
the room, although I was still in a very much weakened spiritual condition, Srila Prabhupada
said, “Oh, you look so beautiful. You have been chanting Hare Krishna.” I was struck by his
profound spiritual vision, always seeing whatever small spark of service there was within the
heart of the devotee and also seeing if there was some slackness in their personal sadhana. Then
he proceeded: “This Krishna Consciousness may not always be easy.” He was sitting at his desk,
and above him, some carpenters and brick masons were pounding on the concrete roof. The
sound was ringing very loudly throughout the whole land, what to speak of directly above Srila
Prabhupada’s head. He said, “This sound is pounding on my brain,” and he raised his right hand
and was patting the side of his temple in a pounding action—pound, pound, pound.

And he said, “But I must tolerate it.” And he was more or less saying that in Krishna
Consciousness there may be so many pounding efforts in so many different ways, but in order to
serve Lord Krishna one must tolerate the onslaughts of whatever Krishna sends our way, and
continue to chant Hare Krishna. So this was the last meeting I had with Srila Prabhupada before I
left India. On October 6, Srila Prabhupada left Sri Vrindavan dhama and went to Mayapur.

Yamuna realized that she had accepted things in her life and Krishna Conscious-ness
which she could no longer abide. The major change was her household life. She felt that as long
as she and her husband were solely focused on dedicated service to Srila Prabhupada and
becoming Krishna Conscious as their life-long goal, she could remain in that ashram despite its
challenges. Yet increasingly, she felt a divergence of interests in her household life, which she
had previously tried to overlook. I remember in our talks her firm conviction to become more
renounced—to live a celibate life dedicated cent percent to Srila Prabhupada and the practice of
Krishna Consciousness. The more her strength and clarity of consciousness returned, the more
determined she became to try to preserve and grow in her spiritual life by full immersion in the
nine processes of devotional service. If she had had a male body, she would have easily adopted
the austerities of the sannyasa order; but for a woman, her desire for renunciation was unusual,
especially in a Western woman from a privileged background.

By the end of those few weeks, Yamuna realized she could not return to the Vrindavan
project. I went on to visit my mother in Florida, and Yamuna contacted me in December: “I am
leaving my household life. Let us go somewhere and open a women’s ashram for other women
like us.” So the onset of our devotional journey together began in both an enlivening and
turbulent way.

Guru das wrote to Srila Prabhupada about Yamuna’s departure from their household life.
Srila Prabhupada’s reply was the first in what would become a series of surprising and
unexpected instructions over the next two and a half years.

If Yamuna has left you, why remain as grihastha? Better take sannyasa like Tamal
Krishna Goswami. I know Yamuna has Krishna in her heart. She’ll not be spoiled, but let her
have some temporary independence and be more Krishna Conscious. I am glad you have sent the
money to India that you have collected. Now, you left Vrindavan on account of Yamuna, but she
has left you there also, although you wanted to live with her. Anyway, try to forget all this
material attachment and try to be attached to Krishna more and more.

—LETTER TO GURU DAS, DEC. 31, 1974

In January of 1975, Yamuna wrote a heart-wrenching, calligraphed letter to Srila

Prabhupada, carefully explaining her reasons for leaving her household life and expressing her
deep remorse at being unable to fulfill her duties in Vrindavan. Out of respect, I have
purposefully not included the letter, nor have I gone into any detail about her reasoning, except to
say that she was willing to accept the spiritual and societal repercussions with the hope that her
future actions on the path of bhakti would ultimately please Krishna, Srila Prabhupada and the
Vaishnavas.

Vrindavan is in Your Heart

Once Yamuna was asked how she was able to leave Vrindavan, as it was originally her
intention to stay there throughout her life. She answered that she came to realize that Vrindavan
is in your heart, and quoted the following story:

Yamuna: Once Srila Prabhupada came for a short time to New Delhi, and afterwards
Tejas, Guru das, Shyamasundara and I brought him to the Delhi airport. His plane was delayed,
and we were sitting in a little group waiting when we heard this click-clack, click-clack,
click-clack coming from a young girl with high-heeled shoes, black stockings and a mini-dress.
Shyamasundara said to Prabhupada, “We’re not in Vrindavan anymore, Srila Prabhupada.”
Prabhupada looked at him and said, “Yes, we are in Vrindavan. This is not Vrindavan?” That
made me see things in a different light. I began to think, “Yes, I may physically leave Vrindavan,
but Vrindavan is also in the heart.” We can take Vrindavan into the heart, and when we leave the
dhama, we can bring its atmosphere with us wherever we go. It gave me a little hope.

So Vrindavan is also there within our hearts, within our consciousness, provided we make
ourselves the receptacle. Everything is about making ourselves a fit receptacle. Srila Prabhupada
is the representative of the mercy of Krishna and our entire disciplic succession. He is the cent
percent emblem of religiosity. He had a perfect understanding of how to distribute love of
Godhead according to the mentality of the recipients Krishna sent to him. He once said, “I favor
none of my disciples. Whoever makes himself a fit receptacle to hear the message receives that
mercy. Just like the rays of moonshine are very much beneficial, but if you hide behind the rocks
and the caves, how do you expect to get the mercy rays of the moon?”

I was reflecting after leaving Vrindavan how Srila Prabhupada revealed the holy dhama to
us. First, he revealed it by showing it to us personally—by being the pure living example of what
the dhama is; secondly, he showed it to us by his inconceivable mercy through the Holy Names;
and thirdly, by teaching us to appreciate the Vaishnavas and seeing Vrindavan in the hearts of the
devotees. That was three ways he allowed us to see and experience Vrindavan.

Appreciation of Vrindavan from Yamuna’s Journal

Yamuna’s Journal: I always want to remember the sounds of Vrindavan—its quiet,

punctuated by the songs of flying green parrots and strutting peacocks, monkey shrieks and cow
lowing, the call of “Jaya Radhe!” or “Hare Krishna!” proffered as greetings to strangers on the
streets, the hooves of cows and the wooden clogs of sadhus on the cobblestone lanes, the
recitation of shastra, temple kirtans and widow bhajans. These are the sounds that give
Vrindavan a spiritual vitality, a wonderful persona.

A Letter Never Sent

I found the following letter in Yamuna’s loose papers. Written sometime after she left
Vrindavan, it is more a prayer of her feelings of remorse, her appreciation of Srila Prabhupada,
and her begging for his mercy.

Dear Srila Prabhupada, Today I have been reflecting on all my mistakes in your service
and on my fallen condition in life. I reflected on wishing that I had more wisdom, more maturity
and more ability to please you. You have given so much to all of us, and you have tolerated so
much in return. I am deeply sorry for my mistakes and my failure to carry out your mission in
Vrindavan. I only want to say that your mercy is everything to me, and although I have failed in
so many ways, I beg you to please never withdraw your mercy from me. It is the only life force
of this lowly Yamuna.
 CHAPTER 9

The Blessings of Guru and Krishna Affirmed

OREGON 1975-1978
 THE MID-1970’S WERE uniquely challenging years for women in ISKCON. Being
raised in the West as equals to their male counterparts, the requisite of submission, regardless of
their qualifications or length of service, to the authority of virtually any male in ISKCON was a
great act of surrender on their part. For many women it became an impossible obstacle to
overcome, and they subsequently left the Movement, at least for a time. In varying degrees I
believe that all of us women were affected by the sincere yet zealous leadership consisting of
many young sannyasis “fired up” to preach and distribute Srila Prabhupada’s books. Some of
them saw women as an impediment to this goal, even though women book distributors were often
equal to or more successful in their distribution efforts than many men. If there was a silver lining
among the clouds of disillusion, it was that women were forced to dig deep within themselves to
strengthen and fortify their faith and commitment and to develop the qualities of tolerance,
humility and forbearance.

In my own practice of bhakti, I had never known the close-knit family atmosphere of
loving Godbrothers and Godsisters Yamuna so eloquently described during her early years in
ISKCON. Nor did I have a direct and intimate serving relationship with Srila Prabhupada lasting
many years. So however arduous those years were for me, I cannot imagine how difficult it must
have been for Yamuna devi, who had spent the first six years of her Krishna Conscious life in
loving service to Srila Prabhupada and then had to adapt to a new and restrictive modus operandi.
Always a brilliant organizer, she had been responsible for developing and overseeing many
important ISKCON programs over the years, yet during these years she often found herself
answering to an ever-changing procession of new young men in leadership positions. Had Srila
Prabhupada himself not stepped forward to protect and nurture Yamuna during those tumultuous
years before his passing, I do not know how she would have endured; but with his often
behind-the-scenes encouragement, she not only overcame the challenges, she turned them into
opportunities for spiritual growth, harmonizing them in her own unique way:

Yamuna: I don’t know how many times from the very beginning of my association with
His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami that I heard him say, “I am an old man; I may die
at any moment.” Where the scriptures say that we have to develop a sense of urgency, he had that
urgency a thousandfold. He often told us that he wanted us to take over the management so he
could write books, and then he wanted us to distribute those books with urgency. He knew he had
a limited time with us, and he so much wanted to fulfill the desire of Srila Bhaktisiddhanta
Saraswati. To that end, he needed knowledgeable, assertive and dedicated preachers, and he gave
sannyasa to many men and strongly encouraged them against entanglement with women so they
would remain focused on the service. Unfortunately, some of the leaders, traveling from temple
to temple, emphasized this to the detriment of sincere and dedicated householders, women and
children, and offenses were committed. So even though Srila Prabhupada pushed the devotees to
produce and distribute his books, I have no doubt that he also expected us to imbibe and practice
what is taught in the books—how to develop the qualities of a devotee within ourselves and give
the essence of Krishna Consciousness to others by our example.

A Humble Ashram in Southern Oregon

A most revealing facet of Yamuna devi’s devotion and compassion for others was the fact
that even when she felt at her most spiritually fragile at the beginning of 1975, she was still ready
to take on the service of a women’s ashram to encourage others. I was initially surprised at this,
yet I soon understood how deeply embedded her devotion to Krishna and Srila Prabhupada was
and how determined she was to serve to the best of her capacity, regardless of past or future
challenges.

We began our spiritual odyssey fifty miles north of Portland in Longview, Washington, to
visit Yamuna’s extended family. Her supportive aunt Edna, who had taught ballet to Yamuna as a
child, attended her marriage, and had fond memories of Srila Prabhupada, lived with her husband
Dean there. Aunt Edna’s son-in-law and daughter, Bill and Norma, owned the Ford dealership,
and had a large family themselves. Yamuna had spoken to me of their kind and generous natures,
their dedication to their Catholic faith, their philanthropic and humanitarian activities and moral
and family values. I had never seen this among my own relatives and was taken aback by their
warmth and acceptance. But mainly, Yamuna wanted to see her sister Janaki, who had moved to
the area after leaving London. Although happy to see her sister again after almost five years,
Yamuna left saddened by Jan’s then dormant spirituality and lifestyle choices.

Driving south, we were charmed by the town of Grants Pass on the Rogue River in
southern Oregon. Surrounded by lush forests of pine, Douglas fir and cedar trees, its gently
undulating hills and mountains provided a peaceful respite for Yamuna after the pressure-cooker
life of India. Money was a problem, as I had given the bulk of an inheritance to ISKCON and
received only a modest monthly trust. Yet Yamuna was undeterred. We would settle there, start
small, and then grow as Krishna desired. Initially we found a single-wide mobile home on ten
acres of lush forest midway up a thousand-foot hill. Our landlords, the Stansfields, were retired
fundamentalist Christians who lived across the street and soon became more like caring parents
than landlords. The rent was one hundred dollars a month. It was about as humble a dwelling as
you could get.

Yamuna immediately began artistically decorating each area—giving it a creative temple

look and feel. I reworked what had been a chicken coop into a barn and fenced in a
sawdust-covered pen for a cow. Roses, jasmine and other fragrant flowers were planted, and land
was dug for a garden.

The mobile home kitchen with Yamuna’s touch

Bimala the Wonder Cow

Two months later, the farm we had requested a young heifer from called us to pick up our
cow. When we arrived, they placed this two-day-old amber bundle in the car, wrapped to the
neck in a burlap bag. Although we had no prior experience, we took on the duties of cow
protection with great care and happiness. That little two-day-old Guernsey cow, named “Bimala”
by us, would become famous in our valley, with her cream-filled milk products sold throughout
the area and long waiting lists for her golden rich milk. On holidays she would receive greeting
cards in the mail, and because she was protected, she had no fear of people, who were often
surprised when she ran toward them instead of away when they approached. Her major vice was
escaping from her pen to eat the prized roses in front of the ashram, and we woke on many
occasions to the dreaded chomping sound outside the windows.
 Yet Bimala had a sense of boundaries which was mystifying. When families came with
small children, she would stand like a statue as the children ran in and out of her legs; yet
sometimes with older guests she would enjoy pushing games. Once we visited our landlords for a
neighborhood function. The Stansfields (who were very fond of Bimala) spoke to some of the
guests about our philosophy of cow protection. One guest cynically replied that cows were only
good for their meat. This particular neighbor lived nearly a half mile away on another road, yet
late that same night we got a call from the landlord that Bimala had gotten out, made her way to
that particular person’s garden and totally destroyed it. We raced over there, and the infuriated
man met us holding a rifle. Needless to say we compensated him for the damage to his garden,
but it was a measure of Bimala’s uncanny nature that the first and only time she left our property,
she found her way to that particular far-away garden on that long-ago night.
 Dinatarini with Bimala

A Peaceful Yet Conflicted Span of Time

Initially, both Yamuna and I were blissfully unaware of the furor her departure had caused
in ISKCON, especially among some of the sannyasi leaders. From the beginning we strictly
followed the schedule and regulations established by Srila Prabhupada—rising early, chanting at
least sixteen rounds of the mahamantra, and holding Bhagavatam classes in the morning and
Caitanya-caritamrta or Nectar of Devotion classes at night. Our days were busily engaged in
service, as Yamuna had begun recipe testing and writing what would become her classic
cookbook, Lord Krishna’s Cuisine. Almost immediately some interested families began coming.

Yet, when our address and phone number became known, Yamuna began receiving
several disturbing letters and phone calls from some of the leaders criticizing her actions. In
essence and tone, they were all similar, with each pointing out that because she was no longer in
the association of devotees, she could never make advancement in spiritual life, and that she had
lost the mercy of her Spiritual Master because she had left ISKCON. Yamuna felt that she was
between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand, she felt as if a great weight had been lifted
from her shoulders and was experiencing a new inner peace in her spiritual life. She often spoke
of a renewed strength and sense of stability in her devotional life. Yet, what would be the point if
what they said was true? She expressed her feelings in letter to Srila Prabhupada:

I am deeply sorry that I have disappointed you by leaving my post and household life in
an unauthorized manner, but I did not leave Krishna Consciousness nor my dedication to Your
Divine Grace. It is only from your causeless mercy that Krishna has become embedded in my
heart, and the debt I owe you is eternal. I will never forget that. Yet I could no longer fight the
obstacles of hypocrisy and futility I saw before me, and simply contemplated ending this life,
with the hope of getting a better opportunity to serve in the next. By your and Krishna’s grace, I
am feeling renewed strength and determination. But if your mercy and blessings are forever
denied me, as I have been informed by [name withheld], how will I progress in my devotional
life?

—LETTER TO SRILA PRABHUPADA, APR. 18, 1975

On May 11, Srila Prabhupada wrote a lukewarm reply in effect addressing none of her
concerns while focusing much of the letter on his dissatisfaction with Guru das. He did say that
he was “feeling her absence” at the opening of the Krishna-Balarama Temple, but the question
most disturbing her—that of his mercy—was left unanswered:

It is good that you are now living separate from him [Guru das]. Wherever you live, you
can follow the regulative principles and my instructions along with chanting. That will make you
happy. Do not deviate from the path I have chalked out for every one of you.

—LETTER TO YAMUNA, MAY 11, 1975

On reflection some years later, Yamuna likened Srila Prabhupada’s treatment of her to
Krishna’s ambivalent treatment of the gopis—sometimes showing them great love and sometimes
ignoring or neglecting them in order to enhance the intensity of their love for Him. Yet at the
time she was devastated at what she perceived as essentially a rejection by Srila Prabhupada and
blamed herself for not expressing her reasoning more thoroughly and frankly. This she did in a
three-page calligraphed letter on June 3, 1975. Yamuna began the letter with a quote from
Srimad-Bhagavatam (7.5.32) taken from the Teachings of Lord Caitanya:

As long as one is not favored by the dust of the feet of pure devotees, he cannot even
touch the path of devotional service, which is the solution to all the problems of material life.

Because of her frankness, and out of respect for the parties involved, including Yamuna, I
will not reproduce the letter. In it Yamuna feelingly wrote of being a woman with enormous
responsibilities in an environment where she felt denigrated simply due to her gender. She
expressed to Srila Prabhupada that “with all the humility at my command” she had tried to
conform to the ever-changing demands and expectations of women at that time in ISKCON. Yet
she saw ambiguity and hypocrisy at each turn and felt her identity slipping away on all fronts.
Again reiterating that she had neither given up the practice of Krishna Consciousness nor her
devotion to Srila Prabhupada, she plaintively concluded:

My only goal in life is to understand what really is my position or duty in relation to your
lotus feet in Krishna Consciousness. I pray that you may kindly relieve my doubts. If it is within
your grace, please write me at the below address. If you like, I beg that you consider this dog at
your feet.

—LETTER TO SRILA PRABHUPADA, JUNE 3, 1975

In lieu of a written reply, Yamuna and I received a call from the then GBC of the West
Coast, Jayatirtha das, reporting that Srila Prabhupada would be arriving in Los Angeles on June
20 and had requested that we meet him there.

During our short time in Oregon, both Yamuna and I had felt progress in our spiritual
lives. A resurgence of faith and enthusiasm had replaced hopelessness and futility. Our Godsister
Palika devi was in India arranging to bring Deities for us to worship, and we were making
clothes, jewelry, and all manner of necessities for welcoming Them into our ashram. We had a
young (and very spoiled) cow, and interested people were already coming. Yet, in truth, whether
influenced by the criticisms of some sannyasi leaders or not, we had by then both come to the
painful conclusion that without the blessings of Srila Prabhupada, there was an impassable chasm
in our spiritual lives. So, as difficult as it was, by the grace of Krishna we were prepared to
follow whatever instructions Srila Prabhupada gave.

We left our young cow in the care of our neighbors and drove to Los Angeles. I have
explicit memories of standing behind a column of the temple with tears pouring down my face.
Both of us were certain that Srila Prabhupada would ask Yamuna to reenter her household life,
and I would be sent to some ISKCON temple far away. Although resigned to our fate, no words
can truly express how devastated we actually felt.

Giriraja Swami: In 1975, Guru das’s life went in a different direction, and Srila
Prabhupada wrote Yamuna, “It is good that you are now living separate from him. Wherever you
live, you can follow the regulative principles and my instructions along with chanting. That will
make you happy. Do not deviate from the path I have chalked out for every one of you.” Soon,
Yamuna devi left India, but she apprehended that Srila Prabhupada would ask her to return to her
husband, despite his deviation–and she was prepared to do whatever he asked. In her first
meeting with Srila Prabhupada after she left India, in Los Angeles in 1975, she approached him
with her friend Dinatarini, with whom she had teamed up. They were ready to follow any
instruction that Srila Prabhupada gave them, however difficult, lest they lose his mercy.

June 1975 — Miracle Done — The Mercy of His Divine

Grace

Although his spiritual life later digressed in an unfortunate and tragic manner, Jayatirtha
das was then our only advocate among the West Coast ISKCON leaders. During those years, he
was thoughtful, compassionate and a gentleman. He made his way in ISKCON not by pushing
himself forward but through his management and business savvy; and he had the rare quality of
making you feel as if your problems were also his problems. His lovely wife, Manjuali devi, was
his equal in every respect. She had been another of the recruits from the Morningstar Ranch
commune, along with Tamal Krishna Goswami and Vishnujana Swami, having been known there
as “Mary Moonlight,” a fitting moniker. I remember her in those years as having a thousand-watt
smile, always optimistic, devoted to her husband, and everyone’s kind friend.

Jayatirtha arranged our first meeting with Srila Prabhupada after the morning program.
We followed Srila Prabhupada up the steep steps to his quarters, and at one point he turned
around to look at Yamuna for what seemed a long time, and tears began streaming down his face.
Yamuna was also overwhelmed and emotional, as was I. When he sat behind his desk, he told
Yamuna that he had missed her very much at the Vrindavan opening. Both he and Yamuna had
tears in their eyes. Yamuna handed him a gift of sweets she had prepared, and then his mood
immediately changed.

Manjuali devi: I remember when she [Yamuna] came to L.A. to visit from Oregon, and it
was questionable, because some people were criticizing them to not be in the temple—that they
couldn’t work with the men in the temple. She came to see Srila Prabhupada—I think it was 3
AM, before mangal arati—and she had made this box of sweets, like a chocolate box, and they
were the most gorgeous sweets. We didn’t do this in those days, but she had little candy papers
for each sweet, and she made it in the box; and then she got this colored cellophane, and the box
had a bow on it. It was something from Vaikuntha—the ribbon just fell. Everything was done
with the most impeccable style, creativity, elegance, love and skill, so in that way Yamuna was
an archetype. She was just a teacher in how she worked, how she served, her shyness, her
humility, her never putting herself forward. In Los Angeles, someone found a piece of paper in
the waste bin that Srila Prabhupada had thrown away after receiving the sweets, and it said
“Yamuna has learned the art of cooking from Srimati Radharani.” It was a little scrunch in the
wastebasket—but I believed it. You could say “Srila Prabhupada said” anything, but I could
believe that. You could appreciate that here was something very special.

Yamuna’s sweets made in Oregon

Srila Prabhupada then asked about our Oregon facility:

Srila Prabhupada: What kind of facility do you have?

Yamuna: It is very small, Srila Prabhupada, but very clean.

Srila Prabhupada: Very nice. Do you have a veranda?

Yamuna: Yes, Srila Prabhupada, there is a veranda.

Srila Prabhupada: That is very good. I have seen in India, you can take a small room,
sweep and clean very nicely, put some flowers in there, and even an old man like me will feel
like a bridegroom. [laughs] Any old damn place! Old man like me—he’ll feel just like a
bridegroom. [laughs]. Any old damn place! So how much money do you pay?

We were a little proud that we had found an ashram (albeit humble) for such a low price,
knowing that the devotees in Los Angeles were paying upwards of six hundred dollars for
apartments near the temple.

Yamuna: We pay only one hundred dollars a month, Srila Prabhupada.

Srila Prabhupada’s eyes opened wide in surprise, and he replied:

Srila Prabhupada: So much!? I only pay five rupees a month for my rooms in
Vrindavan. [laughs]

Yamuna then told him about our cow and the programs held thus far, as well as our desire
to worship Deities. Nothing relating to our future service was addressed until the next morning,
and the meeting ended with Srila Prabhupada ensuring that we would stay the full duration of his
visit.

Jayatirtha knew Yamuna’s history of enjoying spending the early morning hours in
proximity to Srila Prabhupada, and so he kindly arranged that each morning we would go to Srila
Prabhupada’s rooms from 3:30 AM until mangal arati. Those morning visits, sometimes with
one or two others present, sometimes with just the three of us, were a highlight of my Krishna
Conscious life. We saw in Srila Prabhupada everything we feared we might not
experience—compassion, mercy, humor, and his unequivocal love and protection at every step.

“Association Can Be Two or Two Hundred”

We arrived the next morning at 3:30 AM. Srila Prabhupada was walking back and forth
chanting japa. We sat quietly and began chanting. Eventually he sat behind his desk, and
Yamuna began speaking:

Yamuna: Srila Prabhupada, although we are very happy where we are, we are prepared
to go wherever you would like to send us in order to have your blessings.

Srila Prabhupada: You Westerners are always so restless. Why can’t you stay where
you are?

Yamuna: But we have been told that because we don’t have the association of devotees,
we cannot make any advancement.

Srila Prabhupada: Association can be two or two hundred. But you must be compatible.
If you are two and you are compatible, you can go back to Godhead. But if you are two hundred
and not compatible [his eyes opened widely], then no one will make any advancement.

Yamuna: But Srila Prabhupada, some of the leaders are saying that we have lost your
mercy because we left ISKCON, and without your mercy, there is no meaning to our lives.

Srila Prabhupada: ISKCON is where you are chanting the Holy Names of Krishna. That
is ISKCON.
 Completely stunned, by this time we felt almost out of body. Every preconception we had
that Srila Prabhupada would respond in a particular manner was completely quashed by him.
Each morning we sat with him in his rooms and each afternoon in his beautiful garden. The
chastisement and banishment we had feared instead became a reaffirmation of the blessings of
the Spiritual Master, and the realization that his instructions are individual and not limited by our
own or another’s perception. Srila Prabhupada sometimes gave contrary instructions to different
disciples because he understood what was in the heart. Among life-changing experiences, for us
this was the apex.

On one of our last mornings with him, we sat in his room as usual and began chanting.
Yamuna noticed that Srila Prabhupada was intently looking from Yamuna to me, then back to
Yamuna, then to me—perhaps three or four times. Then, without preamble, he said:

I think you two are very good together. You should stay together for the rest of your lives
and serve Krishna.

We left Los Angeles recharged, reinvigorated and reinforced by Srila Prabhupada’s

transcendent association.

Giriraja Swami: For a long time, Srila Prabhupada carefully looked from Yamuna to
Dinatarini and back to Yamuna, back and forth, back and forth, and then said simply, “You
should stay together for the rest of your lives and serve Krsna.” And Dinatarini added that in the
years that followed, Srila Prabhupada reaffirmed the arrangement and thus protected them—two
like-minded souls on the path back to Godhead, back to Krishna, together.

Over the years, both Yamuna and I have repeated this history to many devotees. Seeing
how some disciples took statements Srila Prabhupada made in letters or conversations and built
antithetical philosophies or movements around them, we sometimes said in jest that we could
take only what Srila Prabhupada said to us and do the same. Yet we understood even then that
Srila Prabhupada’s statements were not to be taken out of context, but rather were meant to
encourage us in our Krishna Consciousness. Yamuna was always careful to make it clear that if
Srila Prabhupada was addressing an individual, his words or instructions were not automatically
meant for everyone.

Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari Come to Southern Oregon

When she first left India, Yamuna left her trunks in Vrindavan in the care of Srila
Prabhupada’s friend Bhagatji. Unfortunately, when she did not immediately return, her trunks
were ransacked, and the contents sold or otherwise disposed of. At one point, Bhagatji had
expressed concern to Srila Prabhupada about this, and Srila Prabhupada prevented further access
to the trunks. Yamuna heard about this from Palika devi and others and was deeply saddened,
especially for the loss of the gifts Srila Prabhupada had given her over the years, including a
tooth he left for her under his pillow, and the Radha-Krishna Deities in German silver and
ashtadhatu Yamuna had commissioned from Nanda Kishore Mukutwalla. She had originally
ordered five pairs of Deities, with German silver Krishna reproduced exactly to the specifications
of Sri Radha-Raman. Three pairs were not acceptable to her: one pair are the beautiful small
Radha-Shyamasundara in Vrindavan, and the final pair had been in the trunk. Thinking the
Deities had been taken, Yamuna asked Palika to bring a pair of Radha-Krishna Deities back for
us to worship.

Palika devi was a qualified and straightforward devotee who keenly felt and acted on
perceived injustices. On our behalf, she was not shy to approach Srila Prabhupada in Vrindavan
for permission to see if anything remained in Yamuna’s trunks. After receiving his permission,
she found that out of all of Yamuna’s possessions, only four items remained—two journals (one
cloth-tied), her first handwritten recipe book from her studies in India and amazingly, the pair of
gorgeous Deities who would become Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari. We were elated, and I felt that
these Deities wanted to stay with Yamuna and be worshiped in our humble ashram. Yamuna and
I remained indebted to Palika for her initiative in securing these items. The Deities have since
enlivened and nurtured thousands of devotees all over the world. Yamuna even had pictures taken
with Them for some newspaper articles on her book tours. The recipe book significantly
contributed to her award-winning cookbook, Lord Krishna’s Cuisine, and the journals formed the
basis of her memoirs and this book.
 Meanwhile, a month after our visit with Srila Prabhupada in Los Angeles, Yamuna’s
former husband, Guru das, took the sannyasa order, and Srila Prabhupada spoke the following
about Yamuna:

He [Guru das] is very innocent boy, and I got him married. His wife is also a great
devotee, you know, Yamuna. So now Yamuna has taken a very nice path. She has also become
sannyasini. Although there is no sannyasini for women, but she has voluntarily taken. She is
doing very nice; therefore I advised her husband that “You also take sannyasa.” Because wife’s
affection is very, very tight knot…. It is very difficult to give it up. But Krishna is so kind that his
wife has voluntarily become like sannyasini.

—GURU DAS SANNYASA INITIATION, JULY 21, 1975

The Oregon Ashram Changes Shape

With renewed enthusiasm, we prepared for the Deities’ arrival and worship. Yamuna
designed four gorgeous sets of clothes with winter and summer variations, jewelry and crowns.
Everything was essentially being done in one room, as the living area was so small (8 feet wide
by 35 feet long). Although we were contented there as an initial place to settle, we realized that if
our ashram plans were going to develop and our outreach and preaching programs expand, we
had to move to a larger facility. Reluctantly we approached our landlords, the Stansfields, with
the news. Much to our surprise, two days later they purchased a new double-wide mobile home
with three bedrooms, because “we don’t want you to leave.” Two days later they moved it onto
the same space, so we were able to save most of the flowering plants and lawn we had carefully
tended. We saw this as the direct blessing of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari, who would now be
received and worshiped in a pristine temple. Mr. Stansfield immediately began building a
covered porch/veranda, and in her usual way Yamuna soon had the whole ashram beautifully
cleaned, organized and prepared.

The new mobile home when it was first bought

 A few months later

Yamuna and I both felt that although Srila Prabhupada had requested us to worship
Deities, we needed his special permission to worship Radha and Krishna Deities. Yamuna wrote
on October 11, 1975, informing Srila Prabhupada of the larger ashram, our ideas for a women’s
ashram, and requesting his permission to worship Radha and Krishna Deities. Srila Prabhupada
replied on October 22:

You have my consent to go ahead with your plan for pratistha for Sri Sri Radha-Krishna
archa vigraha. You may call them Radha-Banabehari.

—LETTER TO YAMUNA, OCT. 22, 1975

Srila Prabhupada also addressed the idea of creating a women’s ashram:

The idea of a woman’s ashram is good. Those not married, if there is not provision for
separate living quarters for them in the temples, they can go there.

—LETTER TO YAMUNA, OCT. 22, 1975

The Installation Ceremony of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari

It was important to Yamuna and myself that all of the proper Vedic sacrifices and
ceremonies be carried out for the installation of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari. With little building
experience, we constructed an elaborate altar with locally purchased moldings and fretwork. The
date for Their installation, December 22, 1975, also marked the Disappearance of Srila
Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur. Again, Jayatirtha das made all of the arrangements to bring
devotees and articles for the installation sacrifice and festivities. Revatinandana Swami
performed the fire sacrifice, and Dinabandhu das and his wife Akuti from the Portland ISKCON
temple participated in a variety of services. Jayatirtha performed the bathing ceremony on the
veranda elaborately decorated with jasmine vines and waterfalls of flowers. We tethered our cow
Bimala near the Deity bathing tank and were amazed to see her staring at the Deities for hours,
her head gently resting on the porch. Yamuna made an elaborate feast of 108 preparations as
Their first offering. It was an unforgettable day.

Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari’s installation abhisheka

Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari in Their first four outfits
 “You Must Know that I am Always With You” — 1976

Because Srila Prabhupada had encouraged us to pursue our idea for starting a women’s
ashram, the following day we showed Jayatirtha a property we had found just north of Grants
Pass ideal for such a program. Beautifully laid out on the pristine Applegate River, it consisted of
an eight-bedroom Victorian house and six separate studio apartments on over 100 acres. It was
immaculately kept and then being run as a guest ranch. The asking price was $108,000. Jayatirtha
was enthusiastic about the property and felt that we could ask Srila Prabhupada for a loan from
the BBT for the down payment. We would then offer services to ISKCON, such as making Deity
clothes and jewelry, and in that way pay back the loan and mortgage. However, when Jayatirtha
wrote to ask Srila Prabhupada, he denied the request and further chastised us for our desire to
“live independently.” Yet on the same day, January 13, 1976, Srila Prabhupada also wrote to
Yamuna and me:

I am very pleased to see the nice photos of your Deities Radha-Banabehari. The
simhasana has also come out very nicely. You can attract the fair sex community. Most of them
are frustrated being without any home or husband. If you can organize all these girls they will get
a transcendental engagement and may not be allured to the frustration of life. Your engagement
should be chanting and worship of the Deity. Jiva Goswami advises that in the Kali Yuga
sankirtan is the principal worship. Even if one chants many mantras it must be preceded by
glorious sankirtan. Sankirtan is the mahamantra…. It is better that you don’t make a large
program. Remain a humble program. In bhakti there is no grotesque program. A humble program
is better. We are doing all these grotesque programs to allure the masses. My Guru Maharaja
used to say that no one hears from a person coming from a humble, simple life. You remain
always very humble.

—LETTER TO YAMUNA AND DINATARINI, JAN. 13, 1976

 Again, we were thrown into a quandary, because we knew that in Los Angeles we had
sincerely requested Srila Prabhupada to allow us to serve in whatever capacity he instructed. We
openly expressed our willingness to leave Oregon and spent many hours with him. At no time did
he instruct us to leave; in fact, just the opposite. He chastised us for being restless. Yet, we heard
from others that some of the leading men, disturbed at the possible ramifications our attempt to
form a separate women’s ashram might create within ISKCON, had appealed to Srila
Prabhupada to order us to move. Jayatirtha das told us before he left for a new post in England
that on one such occasion, Srila Prabhupada replied: “What can I do? They want to be
independent.” Needless to say, in our still vulnerable state of mind, it was a real head-scratcher.
But we knew in our hearts that Srila Prabhupada was with us—nourishing and encouraging at
every step. Our growing happiness in Krishna Consciousness was proof positive of this.

Jayatirtha and Manjuali shared with us a portion of a letter Srila Prabhupada wrote on
January 22, 1976, which held great meaning, as it was foundational to our Krishna Conscious
faith and practice:

You cannot survive without my mercy, and I cannot survive without your mercy. It is
reciprocal. This mutual dependence is based on love—Krishna Consciousness.

—LETTER TO JAYATIRTHA DAS, JAN. 22, 1976

In our humble way, we continued the programs already in place at Radha-Banabehari

Mandir, now with the addition of the daily bathing of the Deities, morning and evening dressing,
and five offerings and aratis each day. In between, garlands were made, cows were taken care of
(we were temporarily caring for another young cow), Tulasi devi was worshiped and her
greenhouse circumambulated, gardening was attended to and outreach programs were
established. We began the practice of reporting our activities before the Deities and Srila
Prabhupada each night before resting. We were fully engaged and ecstatic.
 As far as we could ascertain, Srila Prabhupada had become adamant in two ways: firstly,
that we remain a small ashram; and secondly, that no men become involved in any way.

Manage a small ashram, but don’t try a bigger scale; then you require the help of men.
Don’t try manual exertion, then again there is mixture, and that is not desired. Simply keep
yourself aloof from men—chanting many more times as possible, read books, and worship the
Deity.

—LETTER TO YAMUNA AND DINATARINI, JAN. 13, 1976

There is No Gift Greater Than Giving Krishna to Others

Initially, two families became interested in our humble ashram. Un-beknownst to me, my
brother, who had been out of contact with me for some years, happened to be living a few miles
from us just outside of Grants Pass. A gathering place for former “hippies,” Wonder, Oregon
consisted of a dome-shaped health food store and a smattering of jerry-built homesteads. In one
of them lived the Rodgers family—parents Donny and Dolly—he a gentle and devoted father
who was a carpenter/handyman by trade, she an earth mother, loving and patient with her then
four children, and adept at crafting and simple living off the earth. The children were called Blue
Lake, Leaf, Rosie and Saraswati. We developed a warm and meaningful relationship with them
all, and even taught Krishna and Rama stories to the children in our makeshift little school. We
noticed that the more interested they became, the cleaner they became. Soon the young boys were
coming in dhotis and the girls in lovely flowered dresses. They enjoyed spending time with our
cow Bimala, who seemed to instinctively know not to move her now enormous legs when the
little ones ran underneath her. Although other local families also came, a special bond developed
with the Rodgers family—one which lasted throughout our Oregon years.
 Gradually, women devotees began coming for short periods of time. One young girl,
Krishnaa, spent a few months with us and immediately became very dear to both Yamuna and
myself. Although she was only fifteen, she was sweetness personified and engaged
enthusiastically in service, especially to our cow Bimala, who saw in her a kindred spirit. She
would spend at least two hours a day brushing, combing, washing and braiding Bimala’s tail,
while Bimala would playfully head butt her and throw her in the air. I can still remember
Krishnaa trying to reason with Bimala to no avail, and they both seemed to enjoy the exchanges
very much.
 Our Godsister Visakha devi came on what would be the first of several visits to assist in
testing and photographing recipes, but mainly to enliven us with her dedication, service expertise
and wry humor. Visakha and her husband, Yadubara, had been photographing and filming Srila
Prabhupada since they became devotees. While Yadubara concentrated on the filming side,
Visakha took thousands of iconic photographs of Srila Prabhupada over the years. With her
fearless approach (she would stand right in front of him to get the perfect picture), her natural
athleticism (she would sometimes walk backward as he went on his morning walks, keeping up
with Srila Prabhupada’s fast pace as she took pictures), and her stoicism and unflappable nature
when hampered by or denied access to Srila Prabhupada by some of the men, she epitomized
excellence in service, and her often intimate photographs of Srila Prabhupada give unprecedented
access to him for generations to come.

Visakha and Yadubara with Bimala the cow

 We had also started some preaching programs in the community. One humorous story
Yamuna often told involved the church group of our landlords, the Stansfields.

Yamuna: Our neighbors in Oregon were Pentecostal Christians—the ones who speak in
tongues. Knowing that we had lived in India, their church group invited us to tell them about
India and show a slide show. We didn’t want to pass up the chance to speak about Krishna, but
the only slides we had were all pictures of Deities from around India. So we boldly set up the
slide show, and each time a slide of a particular Deity would appear, I would say something like,
“Now this is Vrindavan, near the Taj Mahal,” or if it was Lord Jagannatha, I would say, “This is
Orissa, on the Eastern Coast of India,” and then both Dina and I would speak a little about the
place and about Krishna. Amazingly, most of the group loved the presentation, and commented
on the flowers or the woodwork on the altars as though the Deities weren’t there. They liked it so
much that we were invited to present it again at another of their functions.

“Just as You are Always Thinking of Me, I am Thinking

of You”

All year we had been hearing reports of Srila Prabhupada’s declining health. A Godsister
informed us that Srila Prabhupada would be going to Hawaii in May for writing and recovery and
would then proceed to Los Angeles on June 1. Beginning in the early months of 1976, Yamuna
often expressed the wish that Srila Prabhupada would somehow come to our small ashram, even
though we both knew it unlikely in the extreme. Still, she had it all planned out—we would move
into a little trailer on the property, and Srila Prabhupada and his servants would occupy the
ashram. Yamuna would cook all of the dishes Srila Prabhupada enjoyed, and his health would
improve. She had so much love for Srila Prabhupada and was constantly thinking of him in this
way. Part of this wish was fueled by our desire to see him again to find answers to his seemingly
ambivalent instructions to us. However, we now had the added responsibility for the Deities and
cows (a local family had given a young heifer to us) and were also limited financially, so we saw
no possibility of traveling to Los Angeles to meet Srila Prabhupada.

Yamuna remembered at least two prior occasions when she told Srila Prabhupada that she
was always thinking of him. On each occasion he replied, “Just as you are always thinking of me,
I am thinking of you.” This was never more evidenced than by the extraordinary circumstances
which eventually did bring us to Los Angeles on June 1. While Srila Prabhupada was in Hawaii
in May, the BBT Production Manager, Radhaballabha das, went there for meetings with him. At
the time Radhaballabha was hoping to eventually marry our young guest, Krishnaa devi, and so
he kindly recorded a meeting during which a letter from us was shown to Srila Prabhupada along
with pictures of Radha-Banabehari covered in sandalwood paste for Chandan Yatra.
 It was our custom to write at least quarterly to Srila Prabhupada of our devotional
activities and send pictures of the Deities with prasadam Yamuna had made for him. In the letter,
we informed Srila Prabhupada that with deep regret we would be unable to come to Los Angeles.
The following exchange took place:

Radhaballabha das: Palika has gone up there to learn cooking from her, and then she
will come back and instruct the cooks in L.A….

Srila Prabhupada: So Yamuna’s ashram, how far?

Radhaballabha das: Ashram?

Devotee 3: From Los Angeles?

Radhaballabha das: A thousand miles maybe.

Devotee 3: It’s closer to San Francisco—very far.

Devotee 2: Perhaps a thousand miles, because Los Angeles is on the southern portion of
California, the southern half, and Oregon is… Remember we went to Portland?

Srila Prabhupada: Hmm.

Devotee 2: It’s Portland, and then we went to…, we drove across to Eugene that one day,
you did a program there. Shyamasundara was driving very fast.

Srila Prabhupada: Hmm.

Devotee 2: I was in the car that day, and it’s more or less in that area of Eugene, I believe.
So it is somewhere in between, around there, that area, Portland.
 Srila Prabhupada: Near Portland?

Devotee 2: Yes. It’s Oregon. Portland is… It is a horizontal state.

Srila Prabhupada: Yes. Oregon I remember. So…

Devotee 2: She mentioned that she would like to come, but because there is only two of
them there, and they are taking care of the Deities and they don’t have much money, they may
not be able to. She would like to come and see you.

Srila Prabhupada: Money—we can send some money.

Devotee 2: Hmm. But then she was wondering who would take care of the Deities.

Srila Prabhupada: No, we can go there.

Devotee 2: [laughs]

Srila Prabhupada: See how they are doing.

Devotee 2: [laughing] I don’t know if they’re… I don’t know what kind of facilities they
will have there, though, Srila Prabhupada.

Srila Prabhupada: No facilities. [devotees laugh] Just what facility? We are not for
facility; we are for service.

Devotee 2: I know that.

Hari Sauri das: At least you’ll get some good cooking.

 Srila Prabhupada: Hmm?

Hari Sauri das: At least you’ll get some good cooking.

Srila Prabhupada: Not necessary.

Devotee 2: We don’t know if there is a road up to the house or anything, really.

Srila Prabhupada: Hmm?

Devotee 2: Some farms, you know, they don’t have roads up to the houses. We just don’t
know what the situation is. We have to make some inquiry first. [to other devotees: Do you know
anything about it? I don’t know.]

Radhaballabha das: Jayatirtha was there, I think. Now he is in England.

Devotee 2: We can perhaps find out in Los Angeles a little bit more. I can write one letter
to Yamuna.

Radhaballabha das: Palika will be back. We can find…

Devotee 2: So I will write and ask them what the situation of their farm is.

Hari Sauri das: Revatinandana has been there.

Srila Prabhupada: No man is allowed there, right?

Devotee 2: So far I know. They are trying to remain completely free from any men
whatsoever.

Srila Prabhupada: That’s good.

Radhaballabha das: You know, in Los Angeles, Palika and Jadurani have both cut all
their hair.

Srila Prabhupada: Hmm?

Radhaballabha das: Palika and Jadurani have both cut all their hair off. [break]

Srila Prabhupada: That’s good.

Radhaballabha das: Ha. Jaya.

Srila Prabhupada: That is the Vedic system. Those who are husbandless, they should
not dress attractively to attract the attention of another man. It is very difficult civilization for the
Westerners.
 Radhaballabha das: Visakha will be coming here to…, for photography for BTG. She
will be here soon.

Devotee 2: It appears, though, that her farm is not growing very much.

Srila Prabhupada: There is no need of growing.

Devotee 2: Because there was two of them before, and still two. They are not expanding
at all.

Hari Sauri das: Prabhupada wrote to them not to expand.

Devotee 2: But they haven’t expanded at all.

Srila Prabhupada: What is the use of expanding?

Devotee 2: No women perhaps want to stay there? I don’t know.

Srila Prabhupada: Yes, that is tapasya, austerity. But she is maintaining?

Devotee 2: Apparently.

Srila Prabhupada: Deity picture is nice.

Devotee 2: Yes. Flowers, everything.

 Radhaballabha later gave us a copy of the recording, but at the time, we only learned of
Srila Prabhupada’s plan to come to our ashram through a barrage of phone calls which started
coming in from all over the United States. Although different in tone and assertiveness, they
essentially reminded us that his coming to see us would disrupt his schedule and the programs
temples everywhere had already planned and advertised. Further, it would deprive many sincere
devotees who had long waited for his association. Yet the one call Yamuna and I both
remembered years later was from the efficient, though sometimes brusque, leader of the Los
Angeles temple community at the time, Ramesvara Swami, who bluntly told us, “Prabhupada is
coming to see you if you don’t come to Los Angeles. I don’t care if you have to charter a 747, but
you have to get down here.”

We received Srila Prabhupada’s reply to our letter of May 10 about ten days later:

My dear daughters,

Please accept my blessings. I am in due receipt of your letters with photographs enclosed
of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari, dated May 10, 1976. I am very glad to see how nicely you are
caring for the Deities. I am scheduled to be in Los Angeles from June 1 to June 11. I am even
contemplating coming to see you there on your farm if you are unable to come to see me. Please
continue to develop things there for women devotees as previously instructed.

—LETTER TO YAMUNA AND DINATARINI, MAY 15, 1976

Needless to say, two weeks later, with Radha-Banabehari in the car and an attached
U-Haul trailer carrying a young cow to a couple near San Diego, we made it to Los Angeles.

For Yamuna and me, this episode substantiated what we already felt with certainty—that
the love and mercy of our Spiritual Master was causeless and undeniable, and that he knew and
reciprocated with what we felt in our hearts. If we had needed a reaffirmation of his blessings,
this was more than we could have hoped for. Just as Yamuna had realized from 1972 onwards,
Srila Prabhupada was teaching us that though he may not be physically present, he is never
separated from us.

Never think that I am absent from you. Physical presence is not essential; therefore
presence by message (or hearing) is real touch.

—LETTER TO STUDENTS, AUG. 2, 1967

Please be happy in separation. I am separated from my Guru Maharaja since 1936, but I
am always with him so long as I work according to his direction. So we should all work together
for satisfying Lord Krishna, and in that way the feelings of separation will transform into
transcendental bliss.

—LETTER TO UDDHAVA DAS, MAY 3, 1968

A postscript which could not have been missed in Srila Prabhupada’s Hawaii
conversation about us is the obvious uncertainty among the men as to our position. The further
instructions and clarifications Srila Prabhupada gave to us in Los Angeles would still leave some
of them perplexed, but would gradually lead us to an epiphany in our spiritual lives—that just as
Yamuna had realized from 1972 onwards, Srila Prabhupada was preparing us for the difficult
years to come after his passing.

“More Blessed than Heaven, Sweeter than May”

On Sri Sri Rukmini-Dwarakadish’s altar

Upon our arrival in Los Angeles, Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari were placed on the altar with
Sri Sri Rukmini-Dwarakadish, and we met later that morning with Srila Prabhupada in his rooms.
We knew that he was planning on spending part of each afternoon in his beautiful, but confined,
garden. We also knew that because so many sannyasis and other leaders were present, access to
him in the garden had been apportioned according to leadership importance or amount of service
rendered by each devotee. As Jayatirtha was no longer in Los Angeles, Yamuna made certain that
we would be able to sit with Srila Prabhupada in his garden by saying at one point: “Srila
Prabhupada, we are so much looking forward to sitting in your garden with you each day,” to
which Srila Prabhupada replied, “Yes. That is very good.” So each day as we entered the garden,
we would grab the hands of one or two women waiting outside to catch a glimpse of Srila
Prabhupada. Over the years Yamuna was approached by some of those women thanking her for
what was a memorable experience in their devotional lives.
 Srila Prabhupada in the Los Angeles temple garden, photo taken by Dinatarini

Yamuna also began cooking for Srila Prabhupada in Los Angeles. She had cherished the
desire to cook for him again, and with great happiness she took up the service along with Palika
devi:

Hari Sauri das: Later on in 1976, we came to Los Angeles. Prabhupada arrived there on
June 1. He spent 10 days there. I was delighted to find that Yamuna was there in Los Angeles.
She’d come there from Oregon. And she cooked the whole time that Srila Prabhupada was
there—herself and Palika devi—because Prabhupada’s servant, generally speaking … was the
cook. I think I was probably the only servant that Prabhupada had that couldn’t cook anything, so
I was very happy when Yamuna and Palika were there. They made these fabulous meals for Srila
Prabhupada every day; he was so much appreciative. And at the end of the visit, when we were
due to fly to Detroit, I had approached Ramesvara Swami—he was the GBC—that “You know, I
am not a cook. Prabhupada really needs first-class prasadam because of the delicacy of his
health, so can you arrange for Yamuna to travel with us while we are in America, and she can do
all the cooking?” Unfortunately she wasn’t available; she had other things, other duties that she
had to do, so Palika came with us instead. But I always remembered the special flavor, the
wonderful preparations that Yamuna made there.

It quickly became clear to us in Los Angeles that Ramesvara Swami was determined to
get permission from Srila Prabhupada for us to move to Los Angeles and give up our Oregon
ashram. In those days, we all knew that any instruction given by Srila Prabhupada was
incontrovertible, and Ramesvara Swami directly approached Srila Prabhupada when we were
with him and also outside our presence. Yamuna later wrote of one memorable meeting:

Yamuna: I believe on this day only the three of us [Ramesvara Swami, Yamuna and
Dinatarini] were with Srila Prabhupada, but perhaps there were one or two more. Ramesvara was
telling Srila Prabhupada how much more service we could render there in L.A.; how it would be
easier and less expensive if we would come there rather than sending women to Oregon; how he
would see that we had a nice apartment, and so on. Sometimes Srila Prabhupada would say, “No,
you can send women there,” but then Ramesvara Swami would continue to try to convince Srila
Prabhupada of the practicality of his position. I knew that he was waiting for Srila Prabhupada to
just once say, “All right, they should come here,” but instead, Srila Prabhupada turned to me and
said, “Yamuna, what do you think?” I replied that we were happy serving in Oregon, but … And
before I could say that we would do whatever he asked of us, Srila Prabhupada turned to
Ramesvara Swami and said, “Yes, they are happy there; they can stay there.” Ramesvara Swami
then said something like, “All right, Srila Prabhupada, I can discuss it with them later,” and all of
a sudden Srila Prabhupada’s eyes became big, his voice loud, and he said, “No! You will not talk
to them. You are a sannyasi.” Quite frankly, at the time I think we were all astonished, because as
GBC for Los Angeles, Ramesvara talked to women regularly. But Dina and I understood it for
what it was—Srila Prabhupada’s causeless mercy upon us.

Among Ramesvara Swami’s qualities was his undeniable tenaciousness. He still did not
give up on the prospect of getting Srila Prabhupada’s order for us to move to Los Angeles. The
following morning during Srila Prabhupada’s morning walk, the following conversation took
place:

Ramesvara Swami: Yesterday you suggested that I send groups of brahmacharinis to

that farm in Oregon where Yamuna Mataji is staying, but I was thinking that, actually, she is a
very, very wonderful preacher, and if she can visit our temples more often, then she can … In
other words, it’s more expensive and difficult to send so many people to her …

Srila Prabhupada: So, do that.

Ramesvara Swami: Otherwise, she can come to us.

Tamal Krishna Goswami: It’s also a healthier environment, I think. It’s a little …

Ramesvara Swami: She lives alone with Dinatarini. She doesn’t have much association.
She’s keeping herself apart a little bit.
 Tamal Krishna Goswami: Yes, I think, that’s one …, there’s one disadvantage is that
they have a little bit of a …, their attitude is a little bit separatist from ISKCON in the sense of
keeping aloof, and if the girls go there and live there, they may develop that same mentality. It
might be better for her to come to the temples to teach.

Srila Prabhupada: Then make arrangement; I have no objection.

Ramesvara Swami: [laughs] She has objection. We can’t force her.

Tamal Krishna Goswami: That’s the problem. And if that’s her feeling, then if you send
people there they’ll get the same. [break]

Srila Prabhupada: Worshiping Deity.

Tamal Krishna Goswami: Yes. Oh, they’re doing that beautifully, and they’re expert
cooks. They’re very good devotees.

Ramesvara Swami: They could just be so valuable to helping our temples if they agreed
to preach to our devotees. They could train. [break] … brought the reporters from Time magazine
over to see our temple. I had Mother Yamuna prepare some prasadam, and she was also serving
them, and then she was explaining about prasadam and preaching. So I could understand that as
long as she stays on that farm, she’s limiting herself, because she’s an excellent preacher. She
could be very valuable, expert preacher. Their idea is that they would like to make their farm a
little bigger, with more women living with them.

Srila Prabhupada: I like that idea.

Ramesvara Swami: There will be no man to help give advice, just the women manage it
all themselves.

Srila Prabhupada: Just like in Vrindavan, there is bhajan ashram, they’re only women.
 Tamal Krishna Goswami: Shyamabhajis?

Srila Prabhupada: Not Shyamabhajis, but bhajan ashram.

Ramesvara Swami: So that’s a good idea.

Srila Prabhupada: With man is dangerous for both. I have given that: man is good,
woman is good, when they come together—bad. Both of them bad.

Tamal Krishna Goswami: Bad. We see that.

Ramesvara Swami: They say that that farmland in Oregon is too small, very small.

Srila Prabhupada: Let them organize that.

“I Have Taught You Everything; Now You Teach Others”

One morning we sat with Srila Prabhupada in his rooms. I particularly remember during
this visit how forcefully and uncompromisingly he preached throughout his stay. In his garden, a
devotee would read from Bhagavad-gita or from the Seventh Canto of Srimad-Bhagavatam, and
then Srila Prabhupada would comment on the verses. Even in the presence of several scholars
and theologian guests, he was direct and uncompromising, as can be readily seen when reviewing
the transcripts of those talks. Yet, in his rooms with a few disciples, he was more often relaxed,
composed and humorous. We were unfailingly in awe of his energy and preaching fervor, even
though we knew his health was declining. At one point, without preamble, Srila Prabhupada
stared at Yamuna for what seemed like eons of time (but was likely a minute) and said, “I have
taught you everything; now you teach others.” This was an instruction he had given to Yamuna
before, but for both of us, the bonds of duty, commitment to the practice of Krishna
Consciousness, and the debt owed to the Spiritual Master were enhanced and enriched by his
unequivocal causeless mercy to us. We clearly understood that he was protecting our tiny
devotional creepers and acting toward us based on our eternal soul, not the body.

Yamuna recorded a last conversation with Srila Prabhupada before he left Los Angeles on
June 10, 1976, in the hope that he could clarify some specific questions regarding our service:

Yamuna: Srila Prabhupada, we have one or two questions to ask of you.

Srila Prabhupada: Yes.

Yamuna: We are very much satisfied with the services that you have allowed us to
engage in. We feel strength in these services. Now Ramesvara Swami has become enthused to
send up women for learning cooking and other services, but we will have to get a larger place
because now our quarters are small, and this requires finances.
 Srila Prabhupada: You rent. For larger projects we buy, but you can rent or lease. That
way you can vacate and not become encumbered. You are experienced, so you can teach others.

Yamuna: We want to know if we may engage in this way as a lifetime work, but we do
not know how much we will be able to travel to see you, because you are always traveling.

Srila Prabhupada: [smiling] Yes, so you rent one place. When are you leaving?

Yamuna: We will leave when you leave.

Srila Prabhupada: Jaya. Hare Krishna.

Yamuna’s Last Meeting with Srila Prabhupada in India —

October 1976

Again reinvigorated with new enthusiasm and understanding, we returned to Oregon with
Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari after Srila Prabhupada’s departure. We resumed our services, including
our pastime school sessions with the young children, and encouraged guests to come for
prasadam and Bhagavad-gita classes. Needless to say, Yamuna’s prasadam was the biggest
draw. Now determined more than ever to “teach others” as Srila Prabhupada had instructed, by
writing a definitive cookbook on what she already termed “Lord Krishna’s Cuisine,” she
continued testing and writing recipes in what would become a consuming ten-year service. To
that end, she felt the need to return to India to ask Srila Prabhupada’s formal permission for such
an endeavor, as well as to visit Calcutta to further study cooking techniques from the
highly-skilled personal chef of Mr. C. L. Bajoria, a Life Member and well-wishing friend to
Yamuna and many other devotees. She also wanted to visit Srila Prabhupada’s sister, Pishima,
and question her on special dishes Srila Prabhupada liked. In A Transcendental
Diary—October–November 1976, Hari Sauri das wrote of Yamuna’s unexpected arrival in
Vrindavan:
 Srila Prabhupada was surprised and pleased to receive Yamuna dasi today. She arrived
from America just as he was taking his lunch. Normally he doesn’t receive guests while eating,
but he immediately invited her to sit with him and offered her a small plate of his prasadam.
After eating, they sat together in his darshan room and chatted. She showed him photos of their
ashram in southern Oregon and their worshipable Deities, Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari. Yamuna
has come to ask for Srila Prabhupada’s formal blessings and approval to write a cookbook,
something he suggested to her in 1967, but which she didn’t feel competent to do until now,
although she has previously written and calligraphed a book entitled Krishna Prasadam, but this
has not been published. She told him she intends to remain in Vrindavan for about a week and
then go to Calcutta to stay with Mr. C. L. Bajoria, one of our prominent Life Members. Mr.
Bajoria has a first-class cook with whom Yamuna has studied, and she wants to learn more from
him about Bengali cooking. She is also planning further research and interviews with Pishima,
Prabhupada’s sister. Srila Prabhupada was most happy with her proposal and gave her his full
encouragement.

—A TRANSCENDENTAL DIARY, OCT. 22, 1976

Srila Prabhupada under the tamal tree with his disciples, 1976

Although she did not know it, this would be the last time during his manifest presence that
Yamuna saw Srila Prabhupada. She cooked for him several times during her Vrindavan stay, then
reluctantly left for Calcutta, accompanied by both Palika devi and Srutirupa devi.

Srutirupa devi: I didn’t see Yamuna again until October of 1976, in Vrindavan. Her
arrival was very welcome and joyful. We whisked her right into Prabhupada’s quarters, and then
she wanted to see how the kitchen was laid out and how everything was done. I remember her
sitting with Srila Prabhupada in the garden and asking him questions about the cookbook project
and then coming to us and telling us what he said. We talked about her trip to Calcutta, and we
got permission from Srila Prabhu-pada for Palika and me to go with her. We left Arundhati in
charge of the cooking.
 Yamuna, Palika and Srutirupa stayed in the guesthouse at the colonial-style mansion of
Mr. C. L. Bajoria, a tall and distinguished Marwari industrialist, who had a deep respect for Srila
Prabhupada and his Krishna Consciousness Movement. When Yamuna required minor surgery in
1972, Mr. Bajoria made all of the arrangements, and she recovered in the same guesthouse on his
beautifully landscaped property in the Alipore district of Calcutta. During her visits, she was
consistently awed by the mastery of his principal chef and spent many long hours in the kitchen
learning new techniques. She would later showcase some of those techniques in Lord Krishna’s
Cuisine.

Srutirupa devi: Each morning we would walk in the gardens with Mr. Bajoria and chant
japa. Then we would have breakfast with him, and he would ask Yamuna what she wanted to
learn that day. He told the cooks to make whatever she wanted, and that would be our day’s
event. All the difficult things—kachoris, bel puris, Bengali singara (samosas) were taught to us,
and Yamuna got down the timing for kachoris. I remember testing recipes with her years later,
and she always had a thermometer in the oil to make sure everything was cooked to perfection.
Yamuna had carte blanche to direct the head chef in teaching her difficult preparations. Mr.
Bajoria would come home from the office and eat with the three of us what had been prepared.
We would discuss so many things with him, as he was philosophical and thoughtful by nature.
His wife was always gracious as well. Short in stature, she always wore thick silk saris covered
in jari and accented with diamond jewelry.

Yamuna always retained an appreciation and affection for “C. L.” as he was endearingly
called by the devotees. He was “old school,” she would say, an aristocratic, generous and
thoughtful man, and she knew that she could call on him, and he would graciously offer to assist
her in any way despite his busy schedule.

The Land, the Cow and the Deities — 1977

We held the first celebration of the Appearance of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari on December
10, 1976. Yamuna made 108 preparations for Their Lordships, many of them milk preparations.
Every variety of Bengali sweet she knew appeared on five huge plates. A beautiful abhisheka
was performed, and each devotee brought a gift hand-made by them. The young children created
wonderfully inventive crafts for the Deities, including a pugri (crown) made from cheese wax
and carefully set stones, intended for our little Gaura-Nitai Deities.
 In February, our cow Bimala had her first calf, which was stillborn. Our approach to and
treatment of our cows was well known to our veterinarian, Dr. Conkel, who was sensitive and
respectful of our vision. He removed the stillborn calf from her uterus in such a way that Bimala
did not see it and therefore showed no lamentation. She began giving her trademark
golden-colored milk immediately—four gallons a day—until we were pressured into breeding her
again over a year later by others, who assured us that the milk would dry up. Yet they did not
know that she had unfailingly given her daily four gallons for well over a year, or that when we
called her name, she dropped her milk, often sprinkling the ground with it. She was no ordinary
cow; even the veterinarian commented on her exceptional productivity and sweet nature. Rather,
she was purely representative of how cow protection produces contented cows, who do not
behave in the manner of their unprotected counterparts.

Yamuna began finding ways to use the milk. Even before calving, we had a waiting list of
over twenty people who wanted to buy Bimala’s milk. We put an old refrigerator on the back
porch and set up a system with the devotees, and other interested families, as well as our
landlords. They would leave their clean bottles and money, and take fresh milk. This accounted
for less than half the output. Another four gallons a week were used for milk sweets for the
Deities. Yamuna made the rest into crème fraiche, yogurt and kefir, and we sold it to local health
food stores and co-ops. Bimala and her milk products soon became famous in little Grants Pass,
Oregon, and for the first time, she contributed to the upkeep of the ashram.

Sporadically, women would come from Los Angeles and other West Coast temples to
learn cooking and Deity worship, but the leaders were still reluctant to send them unless they
were either experiencing a crisis of faith or were personal friends. Generally, we had one or two
women for varying periods of time. In late spring, our Godsister Visakha devi came to test
recipes and begin taking pictures for the cookbook. Just as Yamuna was meticulous in preparing,
cooking and offering the recipes, so Visakha was just as meticulous in photographing them. Early
in her life she had written a book on macro photography, so the close-up pictures were tasteful
and exquisite. Visakha also became expert in all of the ashram services, including milking and
caring for the cows, gardening, Deity worship and assistant cook. The Rodgers family continued
flourishing, and several other guests came to the Sunday Feast programs and classes.
 The prasadam pictures in this chapter were styled by Yamuna and photographed by
Visakha devi

Visakha devi: From 1975 to 1977, I often spent months with Dinatarini and Yamuna at
their small, immaculate single-wide trailer tucked in a forest near Grants Pass, apparently to test
recipes and photograph for Lord Krish-na’s Cuisine, but in fact to do much more. At that ashram
I first encountered the exquisite worship of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari. Formerly, in Vrindavan,
Yamuna had extensively studied the worship of Sri Sri Radha-Raman, taken meticulous notes
and made detailed line drawings of the sringara, mukut and every other aspect of seva. In Grants
Pass she used all that, as well as the instructions Srila Prabhupada had given her over the years,
as the basis for Banabehari’s worship. Although much of the detail was lost on me, the
extraordinary expertise and devotion reflected in her worship of Radha-Banabehari was not. I
was stunned by the beauty of the worship, and for the first time started personally serving Deities.

I learned to milk their sweet-natured cow Bimala, and I learned about hyacinths,
snapdragons, snap peas and weeds in their garden. Morning to night the three of us were
satisfyingly busy, and I was repeatedly amazed at how much and how expertly Yamuna served.
Her deeply felt sadhana, her high standard of service, her focus on Srila Prabhupada’s pleasure,
and the intimate, personal environment she created awakened me to a new dimension of Krishna
consciousness—one that has continued to have an impact on me. Yamuna, Dina and I regularly
had straightforward, thoughtful talks that breathed vitality into my previously stuffy spiritual
understanding. I realized that, in accordance with Srila Prabhupada’s teachings, it was all right to
think for oneself—in fact, it’s an essential aspect of spiritual growth. Of all the many precious
gifts I took with me from those Grants Pass months, that one was the most fortifying.
 The Spiritual Master Lives Forever by His Divine
Instructions — Srila Prabhupada’s Departure

As 1977 progressed, our Godsisters and Godbrothers traveling with Srila Prabhupada
regularly updated us on his deteriorating condition. Although it was heartbreaking on one level,
because of Srila Prabhupada’s blessings, we felt his presence with us always. Yamuna had by
now assimilated the hard lessons learned in her India years, and by Srila Prabhupada’s kindness,
she understood his core teachings on vapu and vani—his physical presence and instructive
presence. He had expressed this principle often to his disciples over the years, and the following
letter from 1973 is one illustrative example. First quoting from his Srimad-Bhagavatam
dedication, he wrote:

“The Spiritual Master lives forever by his divine instructions, and the disciple lives with
him.” Because I have always served my Guru Maharaja and followed his teachings, I am, now
even, never separated from him. Sometimes maya may come and try to interfere, but we must not
falter; we must always follow the chalked-out path laid down by the great Acharyas, and in the
end you will see.

—LETTER TO CIDANANDA DAS, NOV. 25, 1973

As Srila Prabhupada requested, we wrote to him every few months and sent pictures,
prasadam or other gifts. On February 5, he replied to one of Yamuna’s letters from Calcutta:

The picture of your Radha-Krishna Deities is very good. They appear to be like the
Radha-Govinda Deities of Mullick Thakur which I used to see from my childhood. Yes, go on
with your program. Live a simple life. Take a little milk and food grains, chant Hare Krishna and
worship Sri Sri Radha-Krishna Deity, that’s all. That will make you perfect.

—LETTER TO YAMUNA, FEB. 5, 1977

 Abhirama das: Interestingly, Srila Prabhupada had just recently visited the house on
Mahatma Gandhi Road where those Radha-Govinda Deities were still worshiped. He and the
devotees held kirtan, and Srila Prabhupada fixedly gazed at Them and said, “Practically
everything I have done is by the grace of Radha-Govinda.”

Visakha devi came and spent much of the spring with us. This was a double blessing
because at the time her husband, Yadubara das, would regularly send letters to update us on Srila
Prabhupada’s health and his personal services to him. We would wait eagerly for those letters and
discuss them at length, taking what solace we could:

Visakha devi: The three of us fill with trepidation on reading of Prabhupada’s poor
health, and for his pleasure we apply ourselves to our devotional service, which includes milking
the agreeable cow Bimala Prasad morning and evening (we have more milk than we know what
to do with), gardening, serving the Deities, and working on the encyclopedic cookbook….
Testing recipes, I feel like a freshman chemistry student on her first day in the lab as I struggle to
distinguish mustard seeds from cumin seeds, urad dal from mung dal, garam masala from
asafetida. I don’t know how to mix spices, how to knead dough or how to use any of the kitchen
machinery (mixer, grinder, and so on). Nonetheless I test, and Yamuna is always somewhere in
the vicinity, ready to instruct, correct, encourage and cajole, and sometimes to reprove for
careless mistakes.

Halfway around the world, Srila Prabhupada is dealing with serious health issues,
preaching strongly and teaching his disciples how to cook. And in a tiny town in southern Oregon
I go into the kitchen after breakfast each morning armed with some of Yamuna’s recipes, take a
deep breath, pray to Srila Prabhupada and Lord Krishna and begin cooking for their pleasure. As
it turns out, the recipes aren’t the only thing tested. I quickly learn that turmeric is a bright yellow
powder that stains my apron and that mustard seeds are small, round and black and go
everywhere when I spill them. But other lessons take more time.
 I study the jars of urad and mung dal intensely, trying to tell one from the other—too
embarrassed to ask Yamuna again which is which. Is cumin brownish-gray and fennel greenish,
or is it the other way around? And then there are measurements. How many teaspoons in a
tablespoon, tablespoons in a quarter-cup, ounces in a pound? Toward the end of the morning I am
so dazed by the mental exertion that I generally forget if I had salted a dish or not. By twelve
o’clock both the dishes and the cook are finished. We offer the dishes to the Deities and then sit
down together for lunch, our talks quickly turning to the news in Yadubara’s letters.

On July 6, 1977, we sent our last letter to Srila Prabhupada, along with pictures of Sri Sri
Radha-Banabehari and Yamuna’s sweet and savory spice mixture for digestion.

Dearmost and respected Srila Prabhupada,

Please accept our repeated humble obeisances at your sanctified lotus feet. Although we
are certainly unfit to offer you our prayers and offenseless chanting for your well-being, still we
beg to become purified to pour the nectar of the Holy Name of the Lord into your eternal
transcendental service by following your divine instructions. From the beginning you have
instructed to serve in sincere faith in vapu or vani. That is our life’s work, to make each and every
moment a fit receptacle for receiving your benedicting rays of mercy. Enclosed is an offering of
digestive spice for your pleasure, as well as two photos of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari on Chandan
Yatra and Sri Nrsimha Caturdasi. Visakha devi remained here to photograph for the upcoming
Vedic cookery book. The program here is flourishing under your shelter and glories. We beg to
remain your servants eternally. Yamuna devi dasi and Dinatarini devi dasi.

—LETTER TO SRILA PRABHUPADA, JULY 6, 1977

 Although Srila Prabhupada was not dictating letters at this time due to his declining
health, Tamal Krishna Goswami read the letter to Srila Prabhupada in Vrindavan, and his
subsequent comments were recorded on July 14, 1977.

Tamal Krishna Goswami: A very nice letter came from Yamuna devi with a few
photographs. Would you like to see it?

Srila Prabhupada: (Bengali)

Bhakti-caru Swami: (Bengali)

Tamal Krishna Goswami: She has very good handwriting. [he reads our letter] They
sent these preparations. It says “savory” and “sweet.” It looks like they made these. Very expert.

Srila Prabhupada: So you can give me little bit.

Tamal Krishna Goswami: And they sent photographs. These Deities are super
wonderful.

Srila Prabhupada: Very nice.

Tamal Krishna Goswami: That says, “Sri Nrsimha Caturdasi. Sri Radha-Banabehari
Mandir.” This is the Gaura Purnima outfit.

Srila Prabhupada: Continue.

Tamal Krishna Goswami: Chandan Yatra.

Srila Prabhupada: Everything is very nice.

Tamal Krishna Goswami: Do you want those spices now, little digestive spice?

Srila Prabhupada: Hmm.

When Srila Prabhupada left this earthly realm on November 14, 1977, all of his disciples
were left bereft and devastated. A feeling of insurmountable loss and uncertainty pervaded the
society which Srila Prabhupada had so carefully established and overseen. We at
Radha-Banabehari Mandir also felt deeply bereft, but because he had so lovingly trained, cared
for and protected Yamuna devi, and through her, myself, we felt Srila Prabhupada’s presence
with us always. That was his lasting and most profound mercy upon us. In a Vyasa Puja homage
in 2002, Yamuna spoke about the vapu and vani seva of the Spiritual Master:

Dear Srila Prabhupada….

The presence of the spiritual master is experienced through two avenues—vapu seva and vani
seva. These are two kinds of service to the Spiritual Master—vapu, defined as “physical
presence,” and vani, as “preceptorial association” or “presence by vibration.” To the degree that
devotees regard these two services as significant, to that degree devotees relish discussing ways
and means to do so.

By some mercy beyond my comprehension, I had the fortune of your vapu seva over a
nine-year span, engaged in various capacities in your direct personal service or under your direct
instruction. Thus it is, on any given day, that these vapu seva memories play over and over in my
head. They may be as simple as remembering a smile, a glance or a few words. In some cases
they are small events…. I remember how, as the years passed, your health dwindled. How, on
many occasions, you candidly mentioned to me, “This body is finished.” How you were so
detached from this discomfort and, to your last breath, as you lay emaciated on your
disappearance bed in Vrindavan, allowed us your association and gave us Krishna. In this
connection, I pray to understand how you did this—to allow this example to always remain in the
forefront.

We all have so much to be grateful for—so many cherished moments, small things,
simple things that meant everything to us. From a material perspective, it is amazing how these
simple little exchanges continue to be a source of inspiration for well over thirty years. But such
is the potency of a great soul. Even a slight glance from you had the power to remove mountains
of sin.

In tandem with relishing these vapu moments, it is equally important to relish vani
moments—to contemplate your presence in our lives today; to reflect on and appreciate how your
pastimes continue to go on in the present—how you are very much alive and here with us now,
watching, guiding, inspiring us….

I pray that one day in the future I may see you face to face again. This vision may be
many lifetimes in front of me, but I do not see any other goal worth achieving, however slow or
difficult or impossible this task may seem from my fallen position. There is nothing else more
appealing. Please bless me with the perseverance to continue on the path to meet you.
 CHAPTER 10

Guru Vani- The Decade of Differing

Interpretations

1980’s
 THE YEARS IMMEDIATELY following Srila Prabhupada’s departure were marked
within ISKCON by confusion, quarrel and misunderstanding. Later termed the “Zonal Acharya”
years, this unfortunate period in ISKCON’s history would cause many sincere followers of Srila
Prabhupada to feel marginalized by the leadership, creating an avalanche of discontent and
subsequent exodus of members, at least for some time. Just as Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati
Thakur did not name a successor, but rather asked for a Governing Board to manage the Gaudiya
Math, so similarly Srila Prabhupada, with a Governing Board (GBC) already in place, initially
named eleven disciples to give mantra, or diksha, initiation after his manifest presence. Some of
the gurus were uncomfortable in the role of accepting worship on the level of Srila Prabhupada,
and even openly expressed it. Yet others, more assertive and assured of their position, overruled
the ambivalent gurus, and the rest is history.

Far greater minds than mine have analyzed how this seemingly simple instruction of Srila
Prabhupada metamorphosed into a mandate for an extravaganza of abuse of power. Although it is
not my intent to delve deeply into the mistakes of the past, it is important to touch on them
because Yamuna’s story is one of overcoming repeated adversities, increasing her maturity and
devotional qualities with each challenge, and ultimately sharing her inner joy, wisdom and pure
exuberance in Krishna Consciousness with others.

From the time of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, there were three significant apasiddhantic
eras when His sublime teachings of harinam sankirtan were not being widely promulgated. The
modern history of Gaudiya Vaishnavism also records “dark” periods after the passing of a great
maha-bhagavata. Before his departure in 1914, Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur wrote of his
disappointment at the reemergence of antithetical philosophies and apa-sampradayas among
those who had previously been enlivened by pure bhakti.

Many days ago, when we had just started the publication of Sajjana-toshani, our heart
was enlivened with hope; the more an unadulterated Vaishnava dharma is promoted throughout
the world, the more benefit its people would get. We took up our work with such honest
intentions. Many learned goswamis and babajis started coming…. Several learned impersonalists
joined us and, captivated by the beauty of suddha-bhakti, started manifesting pure Vaishnava
behavior…. Even mundaners were enchanted by suddha-bhakti. Those fond of music and song
who were previously averse to God now submerged themselves wholeheartedly in the waves of
suddha Hari-kirtan, continuously rejoicing at their good fortune. In towns and villages devotional
societies were established one after another. In this way suddha Vaishnava dharma manifested its
glories in the hearts of almost every person in Bengal, astounding and delighting by its natural
splendor and sweetness…. Unfortunately, at this very point the times and course of events
suddenly altered. All those false religions that had hidden themselves hither and thither from the
powerful rays of Vaishnava dharma, just as glowworms hid from the rays of the sun, suddenly
started crawling out from their hiding places, taking on new forms…. Our heart shattered on
seeing this drastic turn of events. While we were looking for the cause of what was happening,
the following words of Srila Prabhodananda Saraswatipada suddenly unfolded in our heart: “It is
Kali Yuga and our enemies the senses are powerful. In this world, the path is spiked with millions
of thorny obstacles. O Chaitanya-chandra, if You do not bestow Your mercy on me today, then
being confused, where will I go and what will I do?”

—CHAITANYA CHANDAMRTA, SAJJANA-TOSHANI 15.1

 Later, recognizing the unparalleled contribution of Bhaktivinoda Thakur in reviving pure
Vaishnava dharma in an age when Vaishnavism had been relegated by many among the
intelligentsia as crass sentimentalism or, worse, an excuse for debauchery, Srila Bhaktisiddhanta
Saraswati wrote:

Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur is an extremely dear associate of Sri Chaitanya-chandra. In

course of time, when those who preached the desires of Sri Chaitanya-deva had left this world to
enter the Lord’s eternal pastimes, the sky over Bengal slowly darkened, being covered by thick
clouds of sensual enjoyment and false renunciation. The heavens were obscured, and the world
was deprived of the rays of light of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu’s sankirtan. One by one, the sun,
moon and unlimited stars of that sky faded from view, leaving only the occasional flash of
lightning to disrupt the unending pall of ignorance. Almost 350 years after the appearance of Sri
Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur came to illuminate the Gaudiya firmament.

—PREFACE TO JAIVA DHARMA

From Yamuna’s prayer book

 In the same Preface, Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati then highlighted the 26 qualities of a
devotee as they were manifest in the spotless character of Bhaktivinoda Thakur. Perhaps it is here
that one can begin to ascertain how our ISKCON society could so fracture after the passing of
Srila Prabhupada. As he had so often reiterated to Yamuna devi in his “I am an old man; I may
die at any moment” statement, we were all under no illusion that Srila Prabhupada’s fundamental
desire was to write, publish and distribute his books as widely as possible in the shortest period of
time. Many leaders, in their efforts to fulfill this desire of Srila Prabhupada, allowed their
sadhana to slacken. There were simply not enough hours in the day. Therefore after Srila
Prabhupada left, the strengths and devotional qualities derived from sincere absorption in the
practice of Krishna bhakti had not fully matured in their hearts, causing unfortunate and tragic
consequences within ISKCON.

With no mahabhagavata to lead us, the confusion in ISKCON during those years was
eerily reminiscent of what had transpired in the Gaudiya Math after the departure of Srila
Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati. Just as he so eloquently wrote in his preface to Jaiva Dharma about
Bhaktivinoda Thakur (“the sky over Bengal slowly darkened, being covered by thick clouds of
sensual enjoyment and false renunciation”), so the sky would also darken after Saraswati
Thakur’s own departure. They would again become brilliantly illuminated with harinam
sankirtan all over the world by the mercy of His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami
Prabhupada; but after his departure, the sky of ISKCON would temporarily darken again.

Srila Prabhupada wrote a heart-wrenching poem on the deviation within the Gaudiya
Math twenty-two years after Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur’s nitya lila:

3.Those disciples who were irresolute in performing devotional service according to your
instructions have now divided your mission in many factions. It appears that the tigress of
ambition for material name and fame has appeared and personally provoked this upheaval.

4.The essential purport of your message obviously did not enter their ears. O where will I
get the strength to perform this harinam sankirtan?

—VIRAHA ASTAKA, DEC. 1958

The world of ISKCON was subsequently divided into eleven portions or zones, and new
members or those waiting for Srila Prabhupada to initiate them would now be initiated by the
guru who held dominion over the zone they lived in. In our Oregon zone, that guru was
Hansadutta das (then Swami).

In our idyllic Grants Pass ashram, Yamuna and I were initially unaware of how the new
ISKCON policies would affect us. In retrospect, I suspect that we felt we would go on as we had,
still keeping some distance from the political infrastructure, as Srila Prabhupada instructed, yet
remaining loyal and dedicated to serving Srila Prabhupada’s mission. The gentle and loving
devotees and new guests would continue to come, marvel at our protected cows, take shelter of
Their gorgeous Lordships Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari, become intoxicated on Yamuna devi’s
prasadam, and experience devotional service in a peaceful and nurturing atmosphere.
 Over the next months, Visakha devi again came to test recipes and take photographs. She
and Yamuna visited stores within a 50-mile radius of Grants Pass and bought props for the
cookbook photographs. Yamuna brilliantly envisioned how a pot, craft or other flourish could be
used to highlight the dish being showcased. These beautiful color photographs, taken over a
period of years through the combined artistry of Yamuna and photographic technique of Visakha,
were unfortunately not used in the E. P. Dutton version of Lord Krishna’s Cuisine due to cost
constraints.
 Visakha devi: For the photographs, Yamuna makes delicious-looking dishes, and
arranges them with a flourish in a variety of unique settings. We photograph a Bengali luncheon
on a homemade leaf plate (traditionally a banana leaf, but we make do), a Marwari meal on a
silver plate, flavors of faludas in unusual drinking glasses, vegetables cooking in a wok, an array
of Indian spices, and dozens of other scenes. After intensive studio sessions we complete the
illustrative photographs, and then, although Yamuna has already tested all 650 recipes, she
decides that an inexperienced cook—me—should try.

Yamuna devi had a unique perspective on any type of visualization. A common feature of
our lives included her coming to me with a few lines drawn on paper and asking me to visualize
something amazing and grand from it—a festival, a Deity outfit, a dinner for some VIP’s, or her
constant room remodeling, yet I could only see lines on a page. “How can you expect me to see
anything but a series of lines?” I would say. Yet that was part of her artistry—the ability to see
the beauty and possibilities beneath the surface—a quality she also exhibited with people.

Visakha devi: Inside, the ashram is immaculate. I later learn that Yamuna, in her
meticulous cleanliness, takes a Q-tip to the indentations in the storm window frames to extract
the dirt that inevitably accumulates there. Yamuna’s sense of balance, elegance and excellent
taste is visible in every aspect of the ashram, and her expertise in Deity worship is breathtaking.
Banabehari is debonair and glowing, His alluring dancing form enticingly visible beneath His
classy, perfectly fitted dress. What motivates Him to be so captivating? It is Srimati Radharani,
poised on His left, unimaginably sweet, Her delicate svelte form perfect for awakening
Banabehari’s love and for attracting an incredulous newcomer….

Each morning the spring sun, rising directly behind the Deities, streams in the window,
encircles Radha-Banabehari in a ring of golden light and then settles on Yamuna and Dinatarini,
who sit before Them singing traditional Bengali and Sanskrit songs of great Vaishnava
teachers—Visvanath Cakravarti Thakur, Bhaktivinoda Thakur, Narottama das Thakur—for the
pleasure of Radha-Banabehari, accompanying themselves with mridanga, kartals or a
harmonium. Their melodious singing, an expression of their heartfelt devotion, is celestial. The
sounds, the beautiful sight of the Deities, and the fragrances—pure oils and incense that have
been offered to Them—transport me to a dimension I was not aware existed. We are no longer in
a tiny town in southern Oregon but someplace timelessly sublime.
 Our Godsister Srutirupa also came the following spring to assist with the cookbook.
Artistic and creative by nature, she was a meticulous cook and all-around perfectionist who added
a wonderful dimension to our small staff at Radha-Banabehari ashram. Initially shy and reserved,
as she was unknown to me and had spent a limited time with Yamuna in India, she quickly
became an integral part of our ashram and temple life, enthusiastically engaging in each of the
services and always eager to learn. As we endeavored to use all of Bimala’s milk, make garlands
and render other ashram services, we would have wonderful philosophical discussions, often
lasting late into the night.

Srutirupa devi: I was still shy and very young then, and Yamuna was larger than life to
me. I was in awe of who she was, not only to me but to everyone at large, because wherever she
moved, her persona filled the whole room. When she walked into the kitchen, she just took up all
the air. It made me quieter because I wanted to understand who this person was. Every move was
like a dance. Her movements and speech were thoughtful, her speaking was not random but
specific, and her thoughts very controlled. I was taking it all in, but for whatever reason, we
connected, and it was enduring. Yamuna would say that the glue that held us together was our
shared love for Prabhupada. So it was natural. After Prabhupada left, I moved to Los Angeles and
then came to visit Yamuna and Dinatarini in Oregon in early 1978 to help test recipes. Visakha
was there also, and once Yamuna and Dinatarini had to leave for a few days and left Visakha and
me in charge of the ashram. Yamuna gave us our chores and duties, and I remember it as an
idyllic time. I stayed about four weeks that time and again returned in late 1978.

The morning Deity bathing paraphernalia

Disharmony Enters Banabehari’s Ashram with the Title

“Guru”

Early in 1978, Hansadutta visited our ashram for the first time. Now that we were part of
his “zone,” he made it clear that we were to act in accordance with the new rules relating to the
Zonal Acharyas, which included turning over any prospective students to him for initiation and
training. On reflection, the entire debacle which ultimately resulted in our leaving our peaceful
and sattvic Oregon ashram was surreal on many levels.

Like many devotees, we wholeheartedly wanted to see Srila Prabhupada’s movement

expand and were initially willing to accept the edicts of the GBC regarding the new gurus. As
long as they acted in accordance with Srila Prabhupada’s desires and strictly followed Krishna
Conscious practices, we felt it our duty to support the leadership. Of course, Yamuna had known
Hansadutta from the London and India periods. She spoke of his desire to lead kirtans, his
starting temples, and book distribution efforts. Yet, she also expressed concern at his
heavy-handed approach to management, and other enigmatic traits. However, as instructed, we
encouraged our most serious family, the Rodgers, to establish a relationship with Hansadutta, and
they later took initiation from him.

Unfortunately, it quickly became clear to us that worrisome changes in character, focus

and direction were manifesting in our zonal guru almost from the beginning. He established a
“farm community,” yet this was no sattvic, simple-living, high-thinking, varnashrama
community as Srila Prabhupada envisioned, but something else entirely. It was as if everything
we had tried to exemplify from Srila Prabhupada’s teachings in our humble ashram was
debunked with a dismissive sweep of the hand. We tried to adjust to the new norm in our zone,
but it became increasingly painful for us to tacitly comply.

It is not my intention to focus on the mistakes of those years except to highlight their
effect on Yamuna devi’s spiritual growth. From the ashes of our painful and life-changing
experiences over the next decade, Yamuna rose above any bitterness and ultimately found
forgiveness in her heart, understanding that we were all still young in spiritual life. The obstacles
she encountered and challenging situations she endured are mentioned to give context to how she
overcame them. She depended on Srila Prabhupada and Krishna for guidance and protection
through each challenging situation and increasingly developed detachment and inner strength.
Above all, she learned to see adversity as the Lord blessing her with the opportunity to grow.

One who has developed detachment can give up the bondage of material existence, and
one who undergoes great suffering gradually becomes, out of a sense of hopelessness, indifferent
toward the material world. It was due to my great suffering that detachment awoke in my heart. If
I were actually unfortunate, how could I have undergone such merciful suffering? I can only
conclude that I am actually fortunate because I have received the mercy of the Lord. Somehow or
other, He must be pleased with me.

—SRIMAD-BHAGAVATAM 12.2.38

For the first year and half after Srila Prabhupada’s departure we watched, incredulous, as
activities in our “zone” having nothing to do with Krishna Consciousness took place under the
banner of ISKCON. At the time, we felt very much as Srila Prabhupada revealed in his 1958
prayer to his Guru Maharaja, and realized with great sadness that we would have to leave.

5.The overflowing ocean of your compassion has once again been dammed up. This
makes me feel as if a spear of great misery has indeed pierced my heart.
 6.Without Chaitanya Mahaprabhu’s message being spread there is only confusion and
upheaval in the movement. Seeing this situation, all the Vaishnavas are also feeling overwhelmed
with the pangs of your separation.

—VIRAHA ASTAKA, 1958

Banabehari Ashram’s Itinerant Travels Begin — England,

August 1979 – April 1983
Over the course of those tumultuous years, Yamuna and I often compared our feelings of
helplessness with Draupadi’s act of throwing her hands up in appeal to Krishna when the Kurus
were attempting to disrobe her. Somehow, by the will of the Lord, we unwittingly found
ourselves in and out of a progression of precarious situations in what Yamuna called our time of
“high strangeness.” During the last years of her life, Yamuna carried a small quotation from a
letter of Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati which characterized how she dealt with the challenges
of her life. In her last years, the challenges were predominantly physical, yet she would sit before
the Deities and sing this as a prayer in English:

You should perceive your former life and the impressions from it as conducive to
performing bhajan. In other words, you should realize that the unfavorable conditions of your
past are in fact a platform for the manifestation of favorable ones in the present. It is the very
calamities that arise in unfavorable conditions that subsequently give birth to favorable
conditions for bhajan.

—PRABHUPADERA PATRAVALI

Zoned Out — An Invitation to England

We had periodically kept in touch with Jayatirtha and Manjuali since they had left for
England in 1976. We always remained grateful for the help and protection Jayatirtha accorded us
as a GBC in the United States; now he was the only householder zonal guru. Both he and
Manjuali had previously invited us to join them in England but, contented in our Oregon ashram,
we never seriously considered the option. However, circumstances in Oregon had now made us
rethink the offer. While still wanting to serve Srila Prabhupada under the banner of ISKCON, we
could no longer tacitly support what was happening in our Oregon zone. In March of 1979,
Yamuna wrote to Jayatirtha and Manjuali:

We are saddened by what we see in the name of Srila Prabhupada and feel powerless to
act. As women, Srila Prabhupada instructed us to remain aloof from the politics of ISKCON, but
for us that is near impossible in this situation. Prabhupada gave us a simple and joyful process,
but at least in the Northwest it has become something else, and we can no longer endure it. You
know, having seen our peaceful and humble ashram, how hard this is for us, but when a leader
says that black is white and day is night, what can we do?

—LETTER TO JAYATIRTHA AND MANJUALI, MAR. 21, 1979

Jayatirtha and Manjuali again invited us to move to England and temporarily stay with
them at their large home in Aldenham, near Bhaktivedanta Manor. In his letter Jayatirtha
reminded Yamuna that because she had been so instrumental in establishing Krishna
Consciousness in England, it was actually already her home.

Once our decision to leave Oregon was made, the logistics of what such a move entailed
were overwhelming. What to speak of packing up an entire ashram including the Deities and
Their paraphernalia to move overseas, we also had to find a suitable home for our much loved
cow Bimala and her young ox, Bolo. Unless we felt certain they would be protected, no move out
of the United States would be possible for us. After many calls, we decided that the gurukula in
Three Rivers, California, was the best fit. They had ample pastureland and had promised that
both cows would be welcome. Renting yet another trailer, we drove the 600 miles, stopping every
few hours to walk the cows around the rest stops, much to the surprise of other drivers. Then,
leaving our beloved cows in their new home, with deep sadness we returned to Oregon to finalize
the packing and other arrangements, including shipping our car to England. We left on July 28,
1979, our last vision of Grants Pass a small group of devotees and friends, including our
landlords, the Stansfields, with tears in their eyes.
 Visakha devi: So at that time they [Yamuna and Dinatarini] started traveling. They
moved first to England, where they would enthuse the sankirtan devotees. And then they moved
back to America. They lived in Washington DC, in New Vrindavan, in Florida, always trying to
give the purity and sweetness of Krishna Consciousness to whomever they met.

And in those years of the 80’s, it was a time of great tumult in our ISKCON movement. It
was tumultuous. And because they were so absorbed in Prabhupada’s service, in his knowledge
and his words, Dinatarini and Yamuna prabhus were able to see the situation clearly, understand
it clearly, and be less affected by it. And those who came into their association also could get
shelter from this tumultuous time in ISKCON’s history.

So I learned from that, that we can also, in Prabhupada’s service and absorbed in his
mood, take shelter of each other when there are so many difficulties around us, as there were at
that time. It is not that we have to follow blindly. Prabhupada did not want us to follow blindly.
He wanted us to use our intelligence in Krishna’s service. And that example was also there in
Yamuna prabhu.

A Warm Welcome in England

Yamuna devi had moved to India before Bhaktivedanta Manor was donated to ISKCON
by George Harrison, so this would be the first time she actually saw it. Yet she knew the
gorgeous Deities very well, as she had participated in Their installation at the first Delhi pandal.

Yamuna: Prabhupada considered that these festival programs were an installation of the
Deity. In other words, They were worshiped in his presence. So for a pure devotee to be
introducing Them to worship is naturally a form of installation. So there were different pastimes
in the three places of London and New York and Dallas where devotees actually made some
adjustment on the archa-vigraha in some small way. When Prabhupada heard that, he said, “No,
these Deities have already been worshiped; this should not take place.” (FOLLOWING SRILA
PRABHUPADA, DVD 3)
 Gokulananda circa 1980

It was wonderful to be welcomed with such warmth and enthusiasm not only by Jayatirtha
and Manjuali, but many extraordinary devotees in the United Kingdom. My personal memories
are rather vague, as I was quite ill at the time, yet I can recall acts of warmth and kindness, the
joy of kirtan with the ladies’ sankirtan party, wonderful and reflective classes and exchanges
among the devotees in Prabhupada’s immaculately kept quarters, and a leadership and
management style quite different than what we had just left.

We moved into rooms at Church Farm House in Aldenham, a picture postcard village not
far from the Manor, with Jayatirtha and Manjuali and their exuberant son, Vaishnava Charan
(now Vish). Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari were placed on the altar at Bhakti-vedanta Manor, and in
the months before we moved to Berkhamsted the wonderfully devoted pujari and world-class
seamstress Ramadevi made three outfits for Them, which They still wear to this day—one in
orange and turquoise, another in black and gold with a beaded peacock motif, and a pink brocade
outfit with oval pink pearls.

Ramadevi: I was very proud of my sewing ability—I thought I was the bee’s knees, and
then Yamuna came with Radha-Banabehari, and They had these little outfits. The stars were
glued on and some things were done a little differently from the way I would do them, but They
looked exquisite. They were on the altar at the Manor for a while, and there was a festival coming
up. I was making an outfit for Radha-Gokulananda—orange and deep turquoise. It was from a
readymade sari. I said, “Do you have an outfit which matches this dress, or shall I make one for
you?” I was so sure of my abilities! She said, “That would be wonderful. Yes, please make it.”
When I was finished, we put it on, and I thought, “Oh my God! It looks like They are dressed in
potato sacks!” Even though I’m pretty delicate in what I do for small Deities—I don’t make
things that are too big—but in comparison to how They are normally dressed, it was totally
embarrassing. Then when I saw her in Mayapur in 2010, she told me They were still wearing that
dress, and she spoke of it with such affection. I couldn’t believe I’d ever even thought to try and
do it. For me it was actually so daunting how perfect she was. It almost made me more depressed
than fired up, because I thought I can just never, ever reach that standard. The fabric used, the
way it sat, the decorations—everything was so delicate. Even if it wasn’t all technically perfectly
done, the overall effect was perfect—just perfection. Every single thing they wore was perfect.
There was so much perfection—it was really difficult for me.
 Yamuna and I were both impressed with the programs and sincere service attitude of the
Manor’s devotees. Vicitravirya das, Jayatirtha’s right-hand man, was always a consummate
gentleman, and Yamuna and I both appreciated his steady and balanced approach to leadership.
By this time, Jayatirtha had already initiated many disciples, and Manjuali was like an earth
mother to them all. Perhaps in our naivety we expected that nothing would change in someone
who appeared as balanced, sincere and Krishna Conscious as Jayatirtha. Yet in reality Yamuna
and I feared the possible insidious effects of the overall Zonal Acharya directive, especially with
regard to pratistha (honor or distinction). What effect could such compelling access to fame,
wealth and worship have on the heart, and how would it manifest? Certainly in his relationship
with us, nothing had changed. He was still the protective and thoughtful person who had
advocated for us with Srila Prabhupada in Los Angeles, and we remained grateful and unwilling
to countenance the possibility of any wrongdoing or falldown in him.

The difficulty is sometimes things are interpreted in a manner dovetailing one’s own
sense gratification. I have got this personal experience in my Guru Maharaja’s institution.
Different Godbrothers took the words of Guru Maharaja in different interpretations for sense
gratification and the whole mission disrupted.

—SRILA PRABHUPADA TO GODBROTHER, OCT. 24, 1969

Yamuna: Once, on the anniversary of Srila Prabhupada’s disappearance, someone asked

me to talk about the most dramatic effect on the Society of Srila Prabhupada’s departure. Without
hesitation, I answered that with two or three words Srila Prabhupada could stop or correct any
deviant or misplaced philosophical understanding. An example is how ISKCON changed with the
Zonal Acharya system. So many misconceptions suddenly appeared, whereas in Prabhupada’s
time, he would hear one such misconception and say something like “No. Nonsense rascal,” and
it would be finished.
 The Unforgettable Women of ISKCON in the United
Kingdom

Reflecting on both the initial and lasting memories of those first months in England, I am
certain that Yamuna would agree that it was the association of the sincere, dedicated and strong
women who most inspired us. Whether they served in the temple or on the ladies’ sankirtan party
under the able leadership of Kamadhuk, they were invariably enthusiastic and charming. We
began holding kirtans and classes in Srila Prabhupada’s quarters, lovingly and immaculately
cared for by Sarva Mangala. Even in my increasingly ill state, these were cherished moments,
and Yamuna and I often felt nostalgia over the years for those too short periods of calm before
the storm.

Meadow Cottage — An Ashram in Hertfordshire

Drawing on her own difficult experiences as a woman in ISKCON, Yamuna always

retained a heartfelt desire to encourage and nurture women in Krishna Consciousness. Often
devotees were surprised at how approachable and welcoming she was, then and always. Devoid
of pride in her own position and achievements, she made each person she connected with,
whether male or female, feel as if their problems and concerns were her own. I never remember a
time when she did not see it as a duty and privilege to enthuse others with what Srila Prabhupada
had given her in Krishna Consciousness; and she did it with a graciousness, patience and love
that deeply touched the lives of so many.

Kamadhuk devi: No matter what was going on, Yamuna was a star in ISKCON. She had
been for many, many years. Ever since I had joined, the name “Yamuna” was partnered with high
society, and she had been so close to Srila Prabhupada, but she was always humble and modest,
and she never wanted any fuss or bother or to be in the limelight, and even way back in those
days, she would prefer to be at home with her Deities, with her close associates. She never really
liked to come out and be the center of attention, so that was something that was always Yamuna’s
identity—as low key as possible. I think that mystery made people want to spend time with her
even more, because no one could quite believe that someone could be so famous and actually so
humble and modest about everything; it was so appealing. Everyone was attracted to that, and
everyone wanted to spend time with her. It was more to make them happy than to make her
happy a lot of the time. It was what every one of us needed, more than what she needed, because
she was happy in her own right.

It had always been our intention on coming to England to have an ashram for women
along the lines of our Oregon conception. Jayatirtha had enthusiastically encouraged such a
program, and within months of arriving we began looking for a facility to lease. Even in 1980 any
detached mid-to-large home in the area surrounding London was financially exorbitant, so we
went further out into Hertfordshire to the town of Berkhamsted, where we found an
oddly-shaped, private and beautifully situated home with the quaint address of Meadow Cottage,
Gravel Path.
 To share the costs, we initially moved in with two other ladies, Gangamayi, who Yamuna
knew from Vrindavan, and Anada. We all wore white, and I was reminded of the time in Los
Angeles when Yamuna, Palika and I were lined up as Srila Prabhupada walked by, and he said,
“Oh, here are my women in white.” Then he asked Yamuna if she had read The Woman in White.
Yamuna replied in the negative, but we were immediately curious to find this book that
Prabhupada spoke of. Eventually we found it in a library—a classic epistolary novel written in
1859 by Wilkie Collins, a protégé of Charles Dickens. We speculated that Srila Prabhupada may
have read it while in college.

After Gangamayi and Anada left, we found it financially difficult to maintain the ashram,
but again arrangements were made by Jayatirtha to engage the ladies’ sankirtan party directly in
the service of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari.

Kamadhuk devi: After Ganga and Anada left, Manjuali and Jayatirtha really protected
Yamuna and Dinatarini as family members. At that stage the sankirtan party was asked if we
could help to support them. We felt it such an honor. If that meant they could stay in England, it
was a privilege to be able to do that. A lot of the time, Yamuna was fully absorbed in research for
the cookbook, but everybody wanted her association, and she reciprocated. The sankirtan women
were introduced to Deity worship simply by the way Dinatarini and Yamuna were performing
worship for Radha-Banabehari. The sankirtan ladies could not imagine that Deity worship could
be so wonderful. It was Dina and Yamuna who gave many of the women of the English yatra this
taste of how intimate Deity worship could be. No one had ever seen Deities worshiped in such a
wonderful way—the opulence, the simhasanas, the mood of dressing Them every morning, the
intimacy. We just had big temple rooms, but when you went to Yamuna and Dina’s, it was inside
their front room, and it had been turned into a temple. It was carpeted and quiet, none of this loud
banging and cymbals, and it was gentle, in a mood of love toward the Deities, and so when we
were introduced to this, it opened up a whole new world of Krishna Consciousness to us, because
we had never had the chance to do Deity worship. Jayatirtha saw how much women loved Deity
worship, so they actually introduced a whole new mood of Krishna Consciousness.

Then Yamuna reciprocated in a very intimate way with the sankirtan devotees. She would
cook for them, and she would allow them to go up there on their days off to rest. She was always
telling them stories of Srila Prabhupada, and they were allowed to help with the Deity worship in
some small ways. So it really helped people to move beyond a neophyte view of Krishna
Consciousness; it was a whole different wavelength. Then when distributing books, they actually
understood and felt the reason for that activity—how they were supporting this wonderful seva.
We could understand the principle of “when I see another devotee happy, I am happy.”

Jagadatri devi: It was a bit like when Srila Prabhupada would come to the Manor,
everyone would say later, “He looked at me,” or “He smiled at me,” and Yamuna was like that. It
didn’t matter who you were, however high or low, when she was speaking to you, she was
concentrating on you, and anything you said that she could inspire you in—whatever little bit of
service you wanted to do—she could make you feel like it was worth doing. It was just any
minute thing. She said to me, “What service do you do?” and I told her I looked after the
children. Looking after the children in those days was practically not even a service. You
couldn’t think of something lower, but she said, “Oh Prabhupada loved the children!” Whatever
the service was, she would find something very positive to say and make you feel like it was
valuable.

Now living in Berkhamsted, we were distanced from the political climate of the Manor
and therefore did not initially witness any changes in Jayatirtha’s devotional life. Out of respect
and genuine affection for him and Manjuali, we turned a blind eye to the murmurings of
concerned devotees, simply dismissing them as rumors. We bought a small Guernsey heifer that
we named Bimala II and made the garage and tennis court into a cow pen.

Yamuna divided her time between working on the ever-expanding cookbook, associating
with and cooking for the almost constant stream of guests, and taking me to appointments with
doctors and alternative specialists. Just as determined and unrelenting in this service as any other,
she found that a relative of George Harrison had been successfully treated with acupuncture for a
brain injury, so Yamuna took me to his London specialist. Although he was English and an
obstetrician by practice, he had taken up alternative healing arts late in life. At a cost of two
pounds per visit, this gifted healer cured the most serious manifestation of my illness, seizures,
with acupuncture. Then, two weeks after my last treatment, he passed away.

As she had been in Oregon, Visakha was a frequent visitor, taking pictures and working
with our illustrator, David Baird, on beautiful designs of cooking procedures for Lord Krishna’s
Cuisine. Srutirupa also came to assist. We all appreciated the company of the devotees there, and
often reminisced in later years on the sweetness of the sanga.

Visakha devi: The Manor’s sankirtan ladies come for weekly kirtan, katha and
prasadam, and sometimes Dinatarini, Yamuna and I go to the Manor for similar programs in
Srila Prabhupada’s spacious upstairs quarters.

Yamuna appreciates how these young devotees, who are mostly bubbly, energetic and
sincere novices in Krishna Consciousness, serve from early morning to late night all week. She
also notes how, thrilled by the prospects they perceive from participating in genuine spiritual life,
they collect lots of money for the temple but are not given the personal attention they need to
help them grow spiritually. Yamuna puts her energy into befriending these ladies, encouraging
their chanting of the Holy Names of Krishna and telling them about Srila Prabhupada’s qualities
and pastimes. The ladies are deeply touched by Yamuna’s kindness and caring and appreciate her
focus on Srila Prabhupada. They look forward to these get-togethers all week.

Guru Carana Padma devi: We came there and they would engage us in different ways;
they had all different areas of their ashram. We’d never seen “living as a devotee” and serving
Krishna in your home. There were so many different aspects, and they were all for the pleasure of
Radha-Banabehari. So if you got a chance, you could go in the garden, or polish the silverware,
or arrange the jewelry, or help in the kitchen. If you got to help in the kitchen with Yamuna, then
you really got good fortune! She would instruct you how to cut everything. She would make this
khir with rhubarb sauce—it was celestial! She’d serve us all, and then while we sat and ate, she
would read to us from Srila Prabhupada-lilamrta.

Sarva Mangala devi: One thing about going to the house was that most of us were
single, so to see Deities worshiped at a home and everything centering around the Deities—I had
never been anywhere before where there were tapes of Prabhupada playing the whole time! I
remember Ganga and Anada picked up on that and started doing it too. They gave people an
experience of total saturation. Everything was such fun. It was a living experience—something
completely different. We had lived in the temple for so many years, but it wasn’t as intense as the
experience of being in their temple in terms of hearing Prabhupada all the time. And the Deities’
clothes were so gorgeous! Radharani used to have that stiff organdie that would go in at the
waist, and Krishna would have the big bib like Radha-Raman and those thick ankle cuffs. We’d
never seen anything so dainty and exquisite. We did a lot of fun things—it was so natural. We
were all female—it was so cool!
The Meadow Cottage grounds

Inside the ashram

 Kamadhuk devi: The way they were living also allowed the temple authorities to see and
then try to bring that back. We then had Church Farm House for the sankirtan girls, which tried
to be a model of what Yamuna and Dina had in their ashram—a self-sufficient ashram where
ladies could worship Deities, enjoy association and have bhajans and kirtans. That was
something totally unique at that time in our Society. Before we had just all lived in temples, but
this was something unique, and it was introduced on the basis of what Yamuna and Dina had
brought to England. They opened their doors to everyone. Everyone got an invite, and they would
receive each person on a Krishna Conscious level.

Gopimata devi: I remember early visits to Berkhamsted being the most exciting
transcendental “girls’ day out” for the sankirtan party. The kirtan we experienced there was sweet
and imbued with feelings that we may have been too shy to share in the company of our
Godbrothers. We were asked to play the kartals more gently than the tinkling of Radharani’s
ankle bells. Yamuna and Dina taught us that “the way you do anything is the way you do
everything” for Krishna. We were given Q-tips to clean the wall boards of Sri Sri Banabehari’s
ashram, bringing a whole new level of understanding of attention to detail. The whole mood was
thick with devotion and excitement about the unlimited nature of happiness in Radha and
Krishna’s service. That house was an immaculate offering to Their Lordships, full of exotic
aromas and devotional feelings. It was there that Yamuna sat with me on the stair steps one day
showing me a favorite photograph of Srila Prabhupada’s face. She explained that in this one
facial expression all transcendental emotions were displayed, such as confidence, contentment,
desperation, anger, awe, courage, curiosity, excitement, horror, joy, gratitude, chivalry, outrage,
shyness, wonder, zest and deep affection. At that time, Yamuna described Srila Prabhupada as a
person with so much depth of feeling for the Lord that we could only begin to appreciate who he
was. As she spoke, I saw her eyes well up with tears that served to fill me with intrigue about the
nature of spiritual happiness. Yamuna had the most elegant and sophisticated mind that I have
ever had the honor to witness.
 Some of Yamuna’s favorite photos of Srila Prabhupada

When my parents came to visit England, we had the good fortune of being Yamuna and
Dina’s dinner guests. I remember the prasadam as being so out of this world that it simply blew
our minds. The preparations were so filled with bhakti that we couldn’t think of words to convey
our delight! After the meal, Yamuna suggested that both my mother and father lay down on their
left sides on cots that she provided. They politely declined, at which she insisted they must and
would hear no more excuses. I enjoyed seeing my parents soften to her direction. They have
always thought of her since with great respect and admiration. Yamuna always inspired us to
make development of saintly qualities a priority—to always see the best in others and to serve
them as parts and parcels of the Supreme Lord. She encouraged us to be courageous and unafraid
to offer the best we could manage to Krishna. She showed us by her example how to do this with
enthusiasm and great love.

The ashram dining room

Kamadhuk devi: It was Yamuna who first told us that cooking is one third preparation,
one third cooking and one third cleaning. It’s not just about the cooking. That was the first time
we’d heard that; it wasn’t just about being a prima donna in the kitchen. She was just
exemplary—everything was spotlessly clean. We were young devotees, and we were like vessels.
We wanted to drink up everything she had to offer. Here was a change from all the intensity, all
the fanaticism. Here was just a mellow mood, and so people were aspiring to be like that.
Probably even as we’ve grown older, there are many, many aspects of our association with
Yamuna that we’ve carried with us—being sober, being kind to everyone, being
equipoised—many, many qualities that you looked at and thought, “I wish!” She has inspired
thousands of devotees to try to just become similar to her and that is powerful preaching. There’s
no need to bring out books and quote philosophy and scripture. It was just as Srila Prabhupada
said—leading by example.

Yamuna and I were both awed by the sweetness and dedication of the sankirtan ladies.
Each in her own way was multi-talented, and Yamuna was quick to notice their distinctive
qualities and encourage their development in devotional service. One of the original sankirtan
ladies was Kulangana devi, who Yamuna sometimes cooked with and saw in her a talent for
making milk sweets. Kulangana went on to pioneer the production of some of the most famous
milk sweets in ISKCON. Over the last 25 years, 90 sweets per day have been offered to Sri Sri
Radha-Gokulananda.

Kulangana devi: I was thinking that I can’t repay my debt to Mother Yamuna. There was
no envy in her heart. She was selfless, the most merciful person I ever met, and she showed me
incredible attention that I completely didn’t deserve…. My service that has been established so
well in this life [wonderful sweet-making for the Deities]—something very important to me that
has given my life direction—only happened by her mercy, because she was so kind…. She just
spontaneously appreciated my efforts to make these mangal arati sweets from the beginning….
Many people by her mercy recognized that we were making a special effort to produce the best
sweets possible. I am always remembering how merciful she was, how she was non-envious, how
much she wanted to help everyone. It was an incredible force—not thinking about herself, but to
help others at any price. She was the greatest person after Srila Prabhupada. She showed me such
incredible mercy.

For some time she was living at Bhaktivedanta Manor, so I had a chance to assist her
while she was cooking for Radha-Gokulananda. It was the perfection of my life, incredibly
organized, and everything just to please the Lord. I was astonished to see her perfection. She
wanted everything perfect. When she was cutting the vegetables, she would reject the ends and
only accept the nice squares, nice shapes. She wanted to see that everything was equal—cut
perfectly. She would not accept it if anything was not cut nicely. I was very surprised as I had
never seen this before—that someone would put such great attention into making God’s food so
beautiful. This astonished me. And she always put great attention into what I was doing—always
asked me questions, always treated me absolutely personally, like family. I understood that “I am
a person.” It was not impersonal. Whenever she would come, she would call me and ask about
what I was doing. She was so humble. I felt that she was thinking I was so much better than her.
After some time she decided to live outside Bhaktivedanta Manor in Berkhamsted. Even there,
she was so selfless and constantly thinking about how to please the Lord and how to please the
devotees; this was her life. She was inviting us sankirtan ladies to her house, and she would
prepare prasadam for us. It was something that I have held so deeply in my heart. Each
preparation was completely unusual; even upma was not like I had ever eaten—it was completely
different, just full of love and devotion. She was working so hard, just going to an incredible
effort to receive us. I just couldn’t believe it…. I will never forget it, because this enthused me in
Krishna Consciousness so deeply. It was preaching.

Radha-Banabehari on Radha-Gokulananda’s altar

 “My Dear Lord, What are You Trying to Teach Us?”

Yamuna and I blissfully continued our programs in Berkhamsted by engaging the young
devotees in Deity worship, cooking, scripture classes, kirtans and other ashram services. At least
once a week we went to Bhaktivedanta Manor and attended classes there, in addition to hosting
kirtan and classes in Srila Prabhupada’s quarters. In her talks, Yamuna invariably brought
everything back to Srila Prabhupada—how he taught by example, how he saved us by his infinite
mercy, how we could strive to be pleasing to him, and how we could always have his association
through his instructions.

Yamuna: So the reason that Srila Prabhupada is in this room, is that to the degree that
each and every devotee is here and taking his instructions and associating with him, he acts right
through your heart. Actually he is present in your heart along with the Supersoul, and he guides
you in your spiritual life to the degree that you have a desire for it. If your consciousness is just a
little bit favorable, and if you follow what he said to do, the most extraordinary things happen to
you, and that is that the Spiritual Master will be present with you in your heart. And so he is
definitely there. It is a most exciting thing. (BHAKTIVEDANTA MANOR, 1980)

Gradually we could no longer ignore the increasingly odd behavioral changes in

Jayatirtha. Unlike with our Oregon experience, this was someone we knew and respected, so it
was especially difficult to bear.

Yamuna: To be honest, Dina and I became concerned at the changing tenor of

Jayatirtha’s classes. There was a new exhibition of “ecstatic” symptoms, which the young and
impressionable devotees accepted as proof of his devotional advancement. Because we were
mostly removed from everyday life at the Manor, we did not see this on a daily basis, and so we
only sporadically heard the rumors and rumblings of discontent already taking place. We initially
chose to ignore them as gossip or aparadha. What eventually did happen with Jayatirtha
surprised us as much as anyone. He had wonderfully devoted disciples, a beautiful and loyal wife
and son—everything in place materially and spiritually—and yet he lost it all. It was a great
lesson on how careful we have to be in our Krishna Conscious motivation. And so many sincere
devotees suffered that loss immensely, as did we. Our mantra became “My dear Lord, what are
You trying to teach us?”

Feeling helpless and uncertain as to our duty, Yamuna would often sit before the Deities
and chant the Lalasamayi, or deeply yearning prayers of Bhaktivinoda Thakur and Narottama das
Thakur. These prayerful bhajans were Yamuna’s way of not only petitioning the mercy of guru
and Krishna, but also adjusting her consciousness to remain focused on the goal. Srila
Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur spoke on this subject just a week before his passing.

There are certainly many difficulties while we are in this mortal world, but it is not our
business simply to be overwhelmed with those difficulties or to try to overcome them only. We
must know even during the duration of our present life as to what we shall gain after overcoming
all those difficulties of life and what shall be the mode of our permanent existence. We must
make an adjustment of all things that evoke our love and hatred and for those that we want and do
not want. Attachment and detachment of this mortal world will engage us more and more as we
become farther and farthest from the lotus feet of Krishna. When we are able to transcend the
position of attachments and detachments of this mortal world and be attracted with the Holy
Name of Godhead, it is then only we can understand the import of the transcendental service of
Sri Krishna the Personality of Godhead.

—DEC. 23, 1936

Our good friend Manjuali, Jayatirtha’s wife, would often come for short visits at
Banabehari’s ashram in Berkhamsted. It is a testament to her character, dedication and loyalty
that she never spoke of the changes she surely must have been aware of in her husband. In early
1981 we were informed by the GBC that there had been some falldown, and Jayatirtha would
now be taking sannyasa. Manjuali, devastated yet trying to remain strong for his disciples and the
other devotees, came to stay with us in Berkhamsted:

Visakha devi: At some point Manjuali lives with Dina, Yamuna and I, and we know
something is seriously amiss in her life, but unfortunately she’s not at liberty to speak about it.

Manjuali devi: When Jayatirtha had taken sannyasa in 1981, I came back here [England]
and stayed with Yamuna and Dina at Berkhamsted. That’s when Yamuna was working on the
book. And then Visakha came and was working on the photographs, and I was working on some
of the testing. I was living there for about a week at a time, then going back to Chaitanya College.
Yamuna was so meticulous, and I’m a bit slapdash sometimes, but everything was measured with
precision. I’m an intuitive cook, but it usually turns out, but with Yamuna, for her cookbook, it
was a science….

They really wanted me to stay there with them, but at that stage I was 33, and I had a son
who was in the gurukula and who was quite challenged because of Jayatirtha. I just couldn’t do
it; I couldn’t be a widow. They were wearing all white, and I was also, but they were too
advanced for me, for anything else. They were too focused, and I loved them dearly, but there
was a little regret that I just couldn’t step up to the plate. But I did learn so much just staying with
them….

Then my parents came and [they] couldn’t know that Jayatirtha was a sannyasi, so [they]
went to Berkhamsted, and we had to pretend that the house was ours. Everyone moved out of the
house, and Yamuna stayed and helped me cook. Then the following year Yamuna and Dina were
down in Penzance, and Yamuna said, “Oh, bring them down; we’ll do the whole bed and
breakfast thing!” So my parents came and stayed with them, and [my son] and I also went down
to [Trewidden House].
 Manjuali and Vish

When Jayatirtha came back to England as a reluctant sannyasi, he visited us in

Berkhamsted a few times, yet his demeanor had changed. He revealed that he had been severely
chastised and “reigned in,” to use his words. We feared for him and for his disciples because it
was clear that he was unhappy in the role of sannyasa and disgruntled at the way his falldown
had been handled, even though we didn’t know at the time the details of what had occurred. Dina
and I felt in our hearts that a schism would eventually occur, and when it did, it came in a
dramatic way. At 2 AM one morning we received a call from Church Farm House, which was
filled with upwards of 200 of Jayatirtha’s confused and heartbroken disciples, including the
ladies’ sankirtan party. It is hard to reflect on those painful events because for us these were
wonderfully sincere devotees, and to see them in such a distressed state broke our hearts. “You
have to come over here,” they said. “They are saying that our guru is no longer bona fide, and we
have barricaded the doors. Please help us.” So we immediately went, but all we could do was try
to empathize with them. What could be said? They had been taught that the position of the guru
was the same as Prabhupada, so how could he fall from the path? I have never felt so helpless.

Yamuna and I last saw Jayatirtha sometime in the late summer or early fall of 1982 in
Visalia, California. It was an unhappy occasion for us, because his personality and consciousness
had changed dramatically from the person we had known and deeply appreciated for many years.
At the time, we did not know that he had taken shelter of Srila B. R. Sridhar Maharaja, or that he
had then created his own quasi-religious order. We would only learn of these things later. Suffice
it to say, at the time of our meeting, what was being practiced bore little relation to Srila
Prabhupada’s teachings, and we left with a prayer in our hearts that he would again embrace the
practice and regulative principles of Krishna Consciousness.

1982 “Lord Krishna” Los Angeles and Three Rivers,

California

In late December 1981, Yamuna and I went on a short pilgrimage to India. With notebook
in hand, Yamuna polished recipes and studied cooking techniques, even once walking
unannounced into the kitchen of a famous South Indian restaurant to study their dosa-making
technique. Later, she had her English illustrator translate some of her rudimentary drawings into
beautifully instructive illustrations for the cookbook.

Yamuna then continued on to Los Angeles to work with the BBT on the cookbook, and I
returned to England to finish moving and storing everything from our Berkhamsted ashram.
Yamuna worked for almost three months in Los Angeles with the BBT, who were planning on
publishing Lord Krishna’s Cuisine, and who felt it was long overdue for completion. Yet
Yamuna, always a perfectionist, had seen the cookbook project from its inception as her service
to Srila Prabhupada and the Vaishnavas—a fulfillment of Srila Prabhupada’s instruction to teach
others what she had learned. She would not allow the book to be published until she felt Srila
Prabhupada would be pleased with it. So she worked on perfecting new recipes, and Visakha
again joined her to edit and work on the introductions to the recipes. Yamuna also enjoyed the
company of some of her Godsisters in Los Angeles—Palika, Tusti, Rukmini, Kanka and others.

Ramesvara das: Yamuna approached me about having the BBT funding the expenses for
her to write the ultimate cookbook. I was very excited, and immediately agreed. So that year she
came to stay in New Dwaraka to launch the project. She was working with three of her
Godsisters—Visakha devi, Palika devi and Tusti devi. In sponsoring her work we set up a nice
apartment, and every day she would prepare a different recipe, working on it until she deemed it
perfect. Yamuna made perfection seem imperfect. She was like beyond perfection. So anybody, if
you really follow the recipe as she puts it in the book, your preparation will come out perfectly.
This is because she would just go over and over and over, and cook and cook and cook, until it
was perfect. And she would write it down each time…. So by Krishna’s mercy every day, every
afternoon at lunchtime, these amazing ladies would come to my quarters with a dazzling plate of
prasadam, artfully arranged so that the visually astonishing presentation, the extraordinary
aromas, the color, the texture, the scientific combining of flavors and spices, and the heavenly
taste transported me every single day outside of the earthly plane of existence.

She couldn’t imagine that her offering would be accepted by Srila Prabhupada and Lord
Krsna if there was even the slightest deviation from the standard. Her kitchen was always
saturated with the divine chanting of Srila Prabhupada playing constantly. So this standard of
pure goodness or pure cleanliness surpassed anything I had previously experienced—even in any
temple kitchen or temple altar. She aspired to be a living example of purity, and she taught
cooking by pouring attentive love in her every motion, her every touch of the foodstuff and the
paraphernalia she used for her offering. This amazing lila went on for months, until Yamuna
decided she needed to be in a completely pastoral and rustic environment which would enable her
to be even more absorbed in the mood of Vrindavan that she was trying to attain. But we all
agreed that she could relocate to a farm so she could complete her masterpiece, Lord Krishna’s
Cuisine: The Art of Indian Vegetarian Cooking. So as devotees we all have had ecstatic, almost
mystical, experiences while honoring prasadam. Words fail me as I try to describe this
experience. For myself, all I can say is that the memory of the taste of the prasadam that Yamuna
devi lovingly prepared and offered during those months remains with me every day of my life, as
fresh as if it were just this very afternoon.
 Visakha devi: The interminable cookbook saga continues. Yamuna and I sit across from
one another in a sunny Los Angeles apartment near the temple, working on aspects of the
encyclopedic book. Perhaps out of frustration at the length of time this book is taking to
complete, she and I have an ongoing “White-Out” sparring match. White-Out, an opaque white
liquid that comes in a small bottle with a brush attached to the cap, is used to paint over mistakes
in copy. Yamuna and I both have our own bottles and use them to paint over not only mistakes,
but also to put decorative white smudges on each other’s fingers, hands, arms and, on especially
good days, faces. At least it brings forth relieving bursts of laughter, much needed at this point.
It’s watermelon season, and daily we’re sticky from relishing ample slices of sweet, juicy fruits.

Visakha devi

In May, we moved to Three Rivers, California, so Yamuna could work with the BBT’s
then editor, Ranadhir das. Yamuna rented a small apartment, and I brought Sri Sri
Radha-Banabehari from England. We held Jhulan Yatra and Rathayatra with the gurukula
students and teachers, a highlight for us, and enjoyed the association of old and new friends. We
also reconnected with our cows, Bimala and Bolo. Bolo, whose back now reached to the top of
my head, had a rather scrappy horse as a companion. When I called Bimala from across the
pasture after three years’ absence, her head immediately popped up, and she came running over
to us. Yamuna and I became overwhelmed with emotion at the sight of our much-loved cow.
Radha-Banabehari at Three Rivers School in September 1982
 On the cookbook front, however, although Ranadhir was a good editor, he was not a
cook—making his service difficult at best, impossible at worst. Ramesvara Swami and the BBT
were understandably anxious to publish and distribute the long-awaited book, yet Yamuna,
though always gracious in meetings, was determined not to have her name on the cookbook until
it met her exacting standards. To her, anything less was tantamount to committing an offense at
the lotus feet of Srila Prabhupada, especially as he had so carefully and strictly trained her in
excellence.

Banabehari’s Servants Return to England

During the months Yamuna spent in California, her thoughts were never far from the
plight of the devotees in the United Kingdom. Like a mother, she worried about them all, both
male and female. While still trying to come to terms with Jayatirtha’s departure, their “zone” had
now been ceded to the authority of Bhagavan das (then Goswami), and the former disciples of
Jayatirtha were asked to become reinitiated by him. Unfortunately, by initially establishing the
Zonal Acharya system with few checks and balances in place, the ISKCON management had no
“wiggle room” when it came to a guru’s abuse of power or falldown, and therefore had to
improvise and establish new mandates after the fact. Having now directly been impacted by this
twice since Srila Prabhupada’s disappearance, Yamuna and I were tentative about our return, but
felt pulled by the rope of affection for the UK devotees. Although stung by the Jayatirtha debacle
and how it was handled, we still wanted to associate with and try to serve the devotees in
England, yet also keep some distance from its political infrastructure.

Yamuna was often asked over the years why, after witnessing so much exploitation and
malfeasance in her devotional life, including a multitude of offenses against herself, had she
remained determined to serve. Sometimes her answers would vary, but invariably they would
include that she could never repay the debt owed to her Spiritual Master. He asked her to teach
what he had given her, and she had taken that instruction as her raison d’etre, her purpose in life.
That one instruction, in combination with her boundless compassion for all fallen souls, defined
who Yamuna devi was.

1983 — Deja-vu — A Remembrance of Things Past and a

Future Forewarned

Between 1980 and early 1984, Yamuna and I lived in London, Letchmore Heath,
Aldenham and Berkhamsted in Hertfordshire, Dorney in Berkshire, Penzance in Cornwall and
Chaitanya College in Pershore, Worcestershire. Each move had its joys, challenges and similar
regulative services—wonderful preaching programs, ecstatic kirtans, Deity worship, Yamuna’s
tireless writing and recipe testing, and cooking for devotees and guests.

From Three Rivers I traveled ahead to England to look for a suitable rental for
Banabehari’s next ashram. Within two weeks I had written Yamuna of my find:

I found us a lovely Tudor cottage within two miles of Windsor and Eton called Dorney
Cottage. It’s so old that even I have to bend to go through some doors, but it is private,
reasonable, and will make a nice ashram. I think we can worship and have nice programs there.

—LETTER TO YAMUNA, UNDATED 1983

What I didn’t read in the fine print of the lease was that the owners could rent the exterior
of the building and grounds to various movie and television companies to film the ever-popular
British period dramas. So on two occasions during our short tenure there, while we were
worshiping Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari inside, a hundred people in Victorian costumes were spread
around the grounds outside. It was quite surreal, and we soon realized that this would not work as
a women’s ashram.

Although I don’t recall many specifics of our Dorney Cottage months, Yamuna and I
were both extremely impressed with Eton College, little more than a stone’s throw away. To this
day, to be able to say one was an “Old Etonian” signifies status in British society. Founded in
1440 by King Henry VI, its students still comprise the sons of royalty and the corporate elite
from around the world, and the school uniform remains a dark suit with tails. As we shared the
same bank with the tailsuited, rosy-cheeked boys in Eton town, any students waiting for a
transaction would unfailingly direct us to the front of the line, open doors for us and greet us
politely. Yamuna would joke that we needed to bottle whatever they had and bring it back to the
United States.

The Wonderful Resilient Devotees of the United Kingdom

After Yamuna returned to England, we often attended programs at Bhaktivedanta Manor

and the Soho Street temple. Yamuna would sit for long periods before her beloved Sri Sri
Radha-Londonisvara Deities to offer prayers and seek guidance. Srila Prabhupada had spoken to
her about the power of prayer before the Deities, and it became her lifelong practice at the
beginning and conclusion of each day. In India, Srila Prabhupada answered one of her questions
on prayer using the same words he later wrote to another devotee. Needless to say, the challenges
along Yamuna’s devotional journey compelled her to increasingly seek guidance and
understanding through prayer as Srila Prabhupada had instructed:

If your prayers are sincere then Krishna will accept them, and if Krishna accepts them
then automatically I accept them, and if I accept them then automatically Krishna accepts them.
So like this Krishna is everywhere.

—LETTER TO KIRTIKA DEVI, FEB. 19, 1973

Just as Yamuna felt both the desire and duty to encourage others in their devotional lives,
we were amazed to find that for the most part the resilient devotees in England continued to serve
Srila Prabhupada’s movement with determination. Bhagavan Goswami was charismatic by nature
and boldly promised a resurgence of faith, enthusiasm and Krishna Conscious expansion
throughout the United Kingdom. Buoyed by his initial charm and service history to Srila
Prabhupada, many sincere souls transferred their allegiance and worship to him.

Yamuna and I took the position that we would not say or do anything to discourage the
devotees in their surrender to their new guru. If they again became enthused in Krishna
Consciousness, then we would be supportive of them and try to serve under the new
administration ourselves, although truthfully we felt conflicted and apprehensive from the onset,
largely due to our prior experiences.

One of the disturbing elements of the Zonal Acharya years in ISKCON’s history was the
directive that Srila Prabhupada’s own disciples should also exalt and in some cases worship the
new zonal gurus just as Srila Prabhupada had been exalted and worshiped. This mandate was
unsupportable for many devotees and simply impossible for Yamuna devi. From the moment she
had dedicated herself to Srila Prabhupada, he remained her all-in-all throughout her life—the
cynosure of her existence. The very real honor and respect she later developed toward some of
her guru Godbrothers was based on her appreciation of their devotional qualities. I never
remember a time when she could not distinguish the sincere from the pretentious. In her desire to
avoid fault-finding or interrupting the faith of others she would often not voice her concerns,
especially during those years, but she was never deceived by the presumption of devotion.

Gopimata devi: Yamuna had such a rich and full inner life because of her complete faith
in Srila Prabhupada. It gave me the kind of hope that I had always craved. Being with her gave
me a sense of security and trust that saved me more than once. One very memorable time was the
day that I learned that the person who had been acting as my spiritual authority for years was
acting in unbelievably inappropriate ways. In desperation, and feeling like my life was about to
crumble, I went to speak with her, exclaiming, “Yamuna, they’re saying that he is doing like
this!” She immediately gave me a big bear hug while whispering to me, “I wouldn’t be
surprised.” These four words were offered with a gesture which imprinted on my psyche forever
that I was and would always be safe. Even though I was just a new devotee and have always been
quite dull headed, this gave me the feeling that there was some hope that I might one day
understand what it means to have spiritualized senses.
 Yamuna and Gopimata devi

Trewidden House — A Cascade of Joys and Sorrows

Yamuna still harbored the hope of engaging women devotees in a separate ashram
program. Many Vaishnavis were feeling marginalized in ISKCON, and Yamuna, perhaps more
than most, understood and empathized with them. We felt that if we could open a cooking school
run by women and included sewing and craftwork departments as well, we could fulfill Srila
Prabhupada’s instruction to us to engage and train women in devotional service.

Initially Bhagavan was enthusiastic about the idea. I looked in Country Life magazine one
day and happened across a property for lease near Penzance in Cornwall. The whole scenario
seemed too good to be true. The house and grounds, Trewidden House and Gardens, was being
held in trust for the younger son of the Simon Bolitho family, well-known and prominent
landholders in Cornwall. An imposing nineteen-room manor house set in over a hundred acres of
centuries-old, manicured gardens, the magnificent house held unsurpassed views over Mount’s
Bay and St. Michael’s Mount.
 The rent seemed miniscule for such a property, and in my naivety, I did not understand
what a “full maintenance lease” meant. Essentially, if strong winds blew off the roof shingles or
the massive boiler needed replacing, we were responsible; but we overlooked such eventualities
in our enthusiasm for a property we felt perfectly suited to our purpose. Using my family’s
financial credentials (which looked good on paper at the time), we went ahead with the lease. By
borrowing money, we updated each room with new carpets where needed, and created an upstairs
kitchen off the Deity room. Needless to say, Yamuna and I were both thrilled at the prospect of
using this wonderful facility in the service of Srila Prabhupada and the devotees. As it turned out,
due to reasons beyond our control, the cooking school and ashram never transpired, and with
great sadness we were forced to leave after a little more than six months.

Some Special Memories of Trewidden House

Major Bolitho and his wife were welcoming and courteous to us throughout our Penzance
stay. Shortly after our arrival, knowing that Yamuna was a vegetarian cook and that we planned
to give cooking classes at Trewidden House, his wife bought a vegetarian cookbook and prepared
a full dinner for us at their Trengwainton estate. A few weeks later we received a phone call from
Major Bolitho inviting us to come and see “Edward playing his drums.” Of course we accepted,
thinking it would be a small family gathering, but shortly thereafter we received a formal
invitation in the mail essentially repeating the same thing—“Edward will be playing his drums,”
along with the time and date. Now a little surprised, we arrived to find no less than 300 people
dressed in fancy attire, arrayed on the lawns in front of table after table of massive crystal bowls
full of strawberries and clotted cream. It turned out that Edward was one of the Queen’s
Grenadier Guards (the famous red-coated ones who guard Buckingham Palace), and his “drums”
were their Corp of Drums. The entire Corps marched in perfect formation to the beat of the
drums around the grounds of Trengwainton. It was quite a spectacle, and we felt rightfully
embarrassed. Edward Bolitho is now the Lord-Lieutenant of Cornwall.

Other sweet memories included the visits of some of our Godsisters. Visakha devi, now
with her baby daughter Amrita, spent months with us at Trewidden House. We didn’t have a crib,
so we used an inflatable dingy as a playpen. Amrita (now Rasamrita) was a delightful and
entertaining baby, and Yamuna and I both enjoyed the addition of this young devotee at
Trewidden House.

Visakha devi’s daughter, Amrita

Visakha devi: The recipes complete, now in the spacious Cornwall house Dinatarini and
Yamuna are looking after, Yamuna and I spend months working daily on the explanations and
descriptions for Lord Krishna’s Cuisine—the introductory words for the many chapters, the
blurbs before the many recipes, the extensive glossary. Bhagavan (then Maharaja) expresses his
dislike for the word “Lord” in the title, saying it’s unappealing for a cookbook. Jayadvaita Swami
suggests I write a monthly cooking column in BTG, making it something more than “down-home
Indian cooking.” Yamuna doesn’t know what Jayadvaita Swami means by that phrase and spends
a good deal of time pondering it. While we’re there baby Amrita learns to sit up for the first time
and later, lying on her stomach on a blanket on the spacious lawn, starts to crawl a little. Yamuna
and Dina enjoy feeding her in her highchair and watching how she uses food as a plaything.
While I go for long bike rides to the coast, Dina kindly babysits.

Manjuali devi: My parents and I stayed at the incredible place that they had in Cornwall
[Trewidden House]. They had horses there that they had to feed every day, and Bhagavan had
promised that they could have a center there to train women. He also promised to send help to
assist them in maintaining the grounds, because that was part of the deal for their rent. It was a
proper estate; it was absolutely beautiful—a real manor house. It was all furnished, and they just
had one room they stayed in that had bunk beds—[everything] was pukka! Yamuna would be on
her knees doing the floors and [vacuuming]. It was such a big job—it was a huge place. And my
parents absolutely loved Yamuna and Dina. She made such a fuss of them and made wonderful
prasadam. Yamuna and Dina had a tremendous generosity of spirit. My parents said, “We never
stayed at a bed and breakfast as nice as this!” They treated them like Srila Prabhupada.

New Changes in Directions, Dimensions and Diversions

 Unfortunately, by this time, cracks of dissatisfaction were appearing in the carefully
guarded walls surrounding the Zonal Acharya. It was deja-vu again, with devotees subjected
almost daily to lengthy discourses on their duty to follow any and all directives of the guru. Yet it
became difficult for these sincere souls to simply acquiesce, because many had already
experienced a variation of this before. Again, it is not my intention to delve deeply into the
mistakes of the past, yet Yamuna and I were also under the authority of the Zonal Acharya and
were directly and dramatically impacted by what occurred there. Yamuna devi’s story is one of
overcoming adversity after adversity, each episode adding strength and determination and
ultimately becoming a positive impetus in her devotional life. It would not be possible to examine
how she joyfully practiced Krishna bhakti herself and nurtured others in their practice without
touching on the adversities she overcame.

“My Dear Lord, What are You Trying to Teach Us?” —

Revisited

Because Yamuna and I were now serving in the United Kingdom, the authority for
inducing Yamuna to finish her cookbook had passed to Bhagavan Goswami. Years later, Yamuna
would rarely speak of those infamous cookbook meetings. On two occasions she was called to
France for meetings. By this time, we were already at the limit of our forbearance, and Yamuna
described those meetings as a “tag team of intimidation.” Always trying to remain gracious yet
forthright, she finally offered to relinquish the book; they could publish it, but not include her
name on it. Agreeing to this solution, the cookbook was taken from Yamuna and given to a
Godsister to finalize. Although Yamuna was willing to detach herself from her cookbook project
after years of sincere and dedicated effort, I could not bear to see her offended in such a manner.
For me it was the final nail in the coffin of our willingness to serve under that administration. We
decided that we would quietly wind up our activities in England before our own disillusionment
influenced others.

Visakha devi: Yamuna and I visit Bhagavan in France, where he’s recently acquired the
Ermenonville chateau. As we walk in, devotee carpenters are busy remodeling the lobby and
temple room, which are construction sites. Heading toward Bhagavan’s quarters, we pass the
unfinished kitchen, the unfinished men’s and women’s ashrams, and the unfinished guest rooms.
Bhagavan’s front room has a chandelier so large and out of proportion to the room I think,
mistakenly, it’s being stored there until the much larger room where it’s supposed to be is ready.
We enter Bhagavan’s second room, where gold-leafed furniture lines walls covered by textured
wallpaper and original oil paintings…. Bhagavan sits Prabhupada-style behind a low table,
wearing a dark saffron sweater and ironed silk saffron robes. The perfectly formed white tilak
marks on his forehead and nose are clearly visible. Looking at Yamuna he says, “How do you
like my quarters?” Yamuna, unflinching and without hesitation, replies, “I like your tilak better.”
Bhagavan gazes at Yamuna, speechless. It seems no one else has said anything like that to him.
 Chaitanya College and Our Final Goodbyes

Yamuna’s last few months in England were spent at Croome Court in Worcestershire,
renamed Chaitanya College by the devotees. We both held fond memories of the wonderful
devotees there—Vicitravirya and Jalastita; Urvasi, always gracious and elegant; Mondakini devi,
whose smile lights up a room; Guru Carana Padma, now a super teacher, mother and wife; Sarva
Mangala, with her quick wit and service attitude; Sri Kama, a talented actress—and so many
other wonderful and sincere souls who did not know we were leaving and whose association we
would always cherish.

Each year, a highlight for everyone in the UK were the plays and revues performed by the
multi-talented devotees, especially after the Christmas marathon. These were usually slapstick
skits and humorous, gentle puns on our own activities and were gleefully looked forward to by
all. I remember Bhumadeva, Vicitravirya, Bhajahari, Sarva Mangala, Sri Kama and many others
made these unforgettable occasions to laugh and let off steam. The last review we attended at
Chaitanya College was remembered more for incurring the displeasure of the guru than for the
inventive and humorous acting of the devotees. With untold regret, we would leave England in
April 1984, carrying the sadness of separation from those much-appreciated devotees in our
hearts and a massive financial debt on our heads.

It is important to highlight here that Yamuna never held anyone else responsible for the
challenges and adversities of her life. Yet she also did not follow blindly. One of her most
outstanding devotional qualities was her capacity for forgiveness. When offenses were committed
against her, she felt herself responsible for causing trouble to others. She invariably looked for
the good in everyone and consistently examined herself for lessons to be learned from adverse
situations. However, she also felt that it was important to honestly assess our mistakes and
misdemeanors without rancor, so that individually we could advance in devotional service and
societally we could learn from our past in order to become transparent via media in the future.

Once, during a pilgrimage to India, we were warmly welcomed by one of the Zonal
Acharyas. In her gentle yet probing manner, Yamuna reminded him of one of many defamatory
offenses he had committed against her in earlier years. Recalling the incident, she asked, “Do you
remember that?” The guru honestly admitted that he did not, but then added that had he
remembered all the offenses he had committed to others in his immaturity, he would be
consumed by it and not feel able to progress in his devotional service. Yamuna was encouraged
to see his advancement, yet reflected at the same time that while it is hard for any of us to
honestly look at our own past mistakes and correct them, it is an imperative in spiritual life:

These people are not the cause of my happiness and distress. Neither are the demigods,
my own body, the positions of the planets, my karma or time. Rather, it is the mind alone that
causes happiness and distress and perpetuates one’s bondage to the vicious cycle of repeated birth
and death.

—SRIMAD-BHAGAVATAM, 12.17.42

Yamuna devi conducted interviews during all of her pilgrimages to the holy dhama. Once,
during our 1994 pilgrimage in Mayapur, she interviewed a former sannyasi, and their exchange
and her comments poignantly highlight Yamuna’s devotional mood of support, encouragement
and forgiveness:

Former sannyasi [name withheld]: Mataji, I have lost all my ruchi. I chant the name, you
know—I do it because it’s my duty—but my ruchi is gone; my ruchi has been destroyed by my
own Vaishnava aparadas and my arrogance.

Yamuna: But your honesty to say this is so purifying. Just to say this is purifying. This is
honesty and is such a quality of a Vaishnava. And sometimes when we have the right address,
we’re not honest. So it isn’t a matter of the externals; even for you to say that my taste is gone, or
whatever, is so nice. All this is purifying—to sit here and to look within yourself is purifying; to
sit here and even make the effort to be here [in the holy dhama] is purifying; and I have a very
strong feeling that the highest you’ve risen, or any of us have risen, we can very quickly gain that
and go up higher and higher and higher. And this is true for all—because you surrendered
100,000 percent when you did service, and you were cent percent sincere in that—maybe full of
fears, maybe full of apprehensions, maybe full of all kinds of things … You had a bizarre
scenario where you weren’t protected in your early youth, so now maybe you had to find that
protection so that you could be strong on your own—you had to stand on your own two feet. At
first we imitate; we’re like Prabhupada says in the “Autumn Season” of the Krsna book, where
the peacocks are dancing jubilantly. We may become Vaishnavas externally, and when we don’t
know the depth and the profound glory of Vaishnavism, we may try to imitate.

Former sannyasi: Well, I don’t have the ability to jump and dance in front of Krishna. If
I did that now, it would be totally artificial. I’ve got to feel joy and not just [try to] show people
that I’m a devotee.

Yamuna: No. Actually, the point is that the more we practice honesty, the more headway
we make on it, and every devotee has to deal with that [artificial desire for honor] from the very
beginning.

Former sannyasi: When I came to Mayapur this trip, I was hoping to meet so many big
sannyasis and gurus, and I must say I was a little disappointed no one was here. But by Krishna’s
arrangement, I am more happy to meet you. I’m more happy to meet you than a hundred
sannyasis.
 CHAPTER 11

The Splendid Odyssey of “Lord Krishna’s Cuisine”

1980’s-1990’s
 A Needed Respite in Key West, Florida — May 1984 to
September 1985

IN 1984, OUR friend Srutirupa devi lived in Key West, Florida, with her husband,
Abhirama das. Hearing of our intention to leave the United Kingdom, they invited us to come to
Key West, a two-mile-wide by four-mile-long island at the southernmost point of the continental
United States. Once home to Ernest Hemingway and Tennessee Williams, Key West is reached
by driving 160 miles south across 42 bridges (one seven miles long) from Miami. Crystal clear,
calm waters surround it. For Yamuna and me, this sounded like just the respite we needed to
provide some distance from the turmoil in ISKCON, reflect in a peaceful environment on the
lessons learned, absorb ourselves in intensive chanting, reading and worship of Sri Sri
Radha-Banabehari, and move forward in our devotional lives in a positive way.

Initially we settled into a second-floor apartment near the oceanfront house of Srutirupa
and Abhirama. Each day we would attend the morning program and sing the prayers of
Bhaktivinoda Thakur and Narottama das Thakur. In the afternoon we would sit under the trees,
bathed in cooling breezes from the ocean, and read from the Caitanya-caritamrta.

Srutirupa devi: My memories of our time together in Key West are some of the sweetest
and spiritually deepening times of my life. Our coming together daily for morning prayers and
bhajans followed by our classes and talks would often last for hours. Many days after the
morning program at 5:30 AM, we would still be sitting and discussing the songs, verses, purports
and stories of Prabhupada until noon. Association in Krishna Consciousness in this personal way
was such a gift and is treasured by me as the happiest days of my life. Sharing what Srila
Prabhupada had given us was more than special—it was a gift to the greatest degree. And it did
not stop there. Our late-afternoon readings of Caitanya-caritamrta by the ocean brought us to
new heights. Yamuna and Dina infused within me the joy of this process, and it became so
relishable and easy to practice, even though we were not in an official ISKCON temple. There
were no demands on us, no pressures, just our own desire to experience what Srila Prabhupada
gave, and share the science of self-realization in a very personal and loving atmosphere. This was
a turning point in my life. Our time together in Key West will be remembered and treasured as a
time of deepening and solidifying all that Prabhupada taught, in a loving and real way.
 Srutirupa hailed from one of Key West’s most prominent and wealthy families. Her
father, a successful businessman and former sheriff of Monroe County, owned some of the
island’s premier hotels and other properties, and her three brothers, all attorneys, oversaw the
family businesses after his death. Yet despite all the trappings of wealth, Srutirupa’s mother and
92-year old grandmother were congenial and unpretentious. Sometimes Yamuna and I would
visit Nana (Srutirupa’s grandmother), still working daily in her grandsons’ law firm to “stay
busy,” just to hear firsthand from her the turn-of-the-century history she so succinctly
remembered. Similarly, Srutirupa’s mother was that one-of-a-kind, rare person who never had a
critical word to say about anyone. When she unfortunately passed away, Srutirupa said that
virtually the entire community of Key West came to her funeral to honor her memory.

Eventually Yamuna and I rented a U-shaped house in the center of the island from Chris
and Kim Waters Murray. Kim, a gifted artist and talented singer who shared our love for the
prayers of Bhaktivinoda Thakur, would later become a good friend and bhajan partner when we
moved to the Washington DC area in 1987.

The Key West home

 Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari’s Simhasana

During our pilgrimage to India in 1982, Yamuna and I had commissioned a simhasana
(throne) for the Deities from Ranchorbhai & Sons in Mumbai, who had made many gorgeous
altars for ISKCON temples. Before beginning the design and carving, they considered the
astrology of when Radha-Banabehari were installed, Their sizes and other details, so the Vastu
(Vedic science of architecture) would be most auspicious. We went on a few occasions to their
shoebox-sized storefront, where a group of six to eight men sat carving intricate designs on
rosewood using rudimentary hand tools and their feet as vise grips. Yet like all such ancient arts
in India, the work was exquisite, detailed and practical. The nineteen brass-covered domes were
each removable, as were the spindles and ornate panels. It took the men five months to finish the
throne, and we were amazed at the elaborately detailed design. In our Key West ashram, the
temple room ceiling was too low for the domes, yet the structure of the throne even without them
beautifully highlighted Radha-Banabehari’s exquisite forms.

Srila Prabhupada gracing the new simhasana in Key West

By this time Srutirupa, now carrying her first child, was suffering from persistent nausea.
I was also not well, so Yamuna spent many long and unforgettable hours reading and discussing
philosophy with us as we lay stretched out before her, the scriptures and the resonance of her
voice soothing balms to what ailed us.

Srutirupa devi: Of course, Yamuna kept me fed when I was pregnant and could not
cook. She would come for the morning program and put on a pot of dal and a gallon of milk for
an herbal-infused curd. While attending the program she would leave once or twice to put the
finishing touches to the dishes. This prasadam kept me going every day until my daughter
Krishna Lila was born. These were all unsung blessings I now look back on with so much
gratitude. I am humbled by the gifts and simple joys of those times and what was shared, gained
and learned from it all.

A Publisher Takes on “Lord Krishna’s Cuisine”

Before we left the United Kingdom, Yamuna had again gained possession of her
cookbook. The BBT would no longer be publishing it, and Yamuna approached Abhirama das in
Key West with the task of finding a publisher. Abhirama knew that Yogesvara das had a
children’s press, Bala Books, in New York City, and he asked Yogesvara and his friend and
partner, Prahladapriya das, if they would take on the project. Of course, neither Yogesvara nor
Prahladapriya realized the massive scope and complexity of the book—or that it would virtually
consume the next two years of their lives.

Prahladapriya das: At that time, Yogesvara charged me with the task of contacting
Abhirama and having a lengthy discussion with him about the cookbook and about doing it…. I
remember saying to Abhirama, “I think Yogesvara and I can do this.” At that time, I had no idea
how. It was sheer enthusiasm. I knew it would take a lot of money, but I was so excited…. I
remember hanging up the phone and calling Yogesvara and saying, “I think we can get this book.
I know we can get it.”

Yogesvara das: About a week later this truck pulls up outside my apartment on
Twenty-third Street…. I heard the horn beeping and came downstairs, and the guy says, “Are you
Joshua Greene?” I say, “Yeah.” “Sign there.” Out of the back of this truck comes a box that must
have weighed about 13 tons—it was huge; it was heavy. He helped me lug it upstairs. I opened
this thing and there’s a manuscript of more than 1600 pages … it was incredible! I’m looking at
this thing and thinking, “What have I gotten myself into here? I can’t even lift it, let alone get it
published.” I started reading the manuscript, and it was as devotional as Yamuna herself. If you
read this book—open just any page at random—and … it is filled with devotional stories. This is
like a scripture. Who’s going to publish this thing?

Yogesvara and Prahladapriya then came to Key West to discuss terms and a timeline for
the book. To this day, they both sound incredulous when reflecting on the daunting task of
getting Lord Krishna’s Cuisine published, admitting that although they did not know where the
money would come from, who would publish such a book and how it would manifest, they still
felt enthusiastic to move forward as if impelled by an unseen force. I suggested to them that it
was “the Krishna Magic,” and Prahladapriya replied, “No, I think it was Yamuna—just who she
was.”

Yogesvara das: Looking back, I don’t know what it was—youthful folly, divine
inspiration, some chromosomal glitch in the DNA sequence—I don’t know what it was that
prompted us to take this on…. We just felt compelled…. We had faith in Yamuna. We had faith
in the fact that prasadam was so central to Prabhupada’s mission—that if we could do this, then
we could die peacefully. I am not saying that in any kind of metaphorical way. I truly think that it
was a service that we could look back on and say, “You know what? If nothing else happened, I
helped to get that done.”

So we got somebody to pay for copies of the manuscript and sent them out [to publishers].
To this day I have at home the most beautiful collection of rejection letters from every publisher
in America. They are the most heartfelt, “This is incredible research;” “It’s extraordinary”;
“Good luck to you”; “I have no idea what to do with it”; “I don’t have any ideas for you”; “It’s
fantastic.” But who wanted to publish it? Who wants to read 1,000 pages on Indian vegetarian
food with all of these descriptions of Lord Krishna and this guru [Srila Prabhupada]?

Prahladapriya das: We sent out two hundred letters to publishers and we received only
three favorable replies. Two hundred letters!

Yogesvara das: The best that we were able to get was someone saying, “Look, can you
edit it down? Can you condense it and give us an abridged edition?” We went to Yamuna and
said, “We’re finding that the publishers won’t touch it; it’s too much for them. They have no idea
what to do with this. Will you condense it? Will you edit it down?” And she said, “No. If you’re
going to do something for Prabhupada, do it right. Never compromise; never compromise.” And
she lived her life like that.

So that became our mantra, our guiding principle—that we would not compromise on this
book. Any time the publisher said, “Well, we’ll publish 100 recipes, but not 500 recipes,” we’d
say, “No thank you,” until we reached a point where we ran out of options. We were kind of at
our wit’s end about where to go with it. At the time, I had been doing some printing for children’s
book companies, and I called a friend of mine, Christopher Kelly, at E. P. Dutton, a division of
Penguin, one of the largest publishing companies in the world, and asked if he could introduce it
to their cookbook editor [Amy Mintzer]. He showed the manuscript to her, and I think she was
feeling a little bit obliged because the publisher had come to her and asked her to look at it. If I
remember correctly, she was hesitating the same way everyone else was, because it was just too
big. She said, “It’s an amazing book, but it’s just too big.” It was just too expensive a project.
They couldn’t afford to take the financial risk of doing all of the design and layout and
production.

I talked to Prahladapriya and said, “Look, can we get some people to help? And maybe
we can make them an offer they can’t refuse.” So he went out and brought in some friends, and I
brought in some friends, and we went back to the publisher and said, “Here’s what we’ll do. We
will pay for it; we will pay for the typesetting; we will pay for the printing, binding and
manufacturing. We’ll pay for everything. You just distribute the book. Also, if there’s any
inventory left after one year, we will buy it all back.” So that was a no-brainer. We made her an
offer that she couldn’t refuse; there was zero risk on their part. And I remember looking at
Prahladapriya after we had made that offer and asking him how long he thought we had to live.
Because what we had essentially taken on was a $200,000 risk—more money than I had ever
seen in my life. But Prahlad just kept reassuring me, “We’ll find the money. We have to do this.”

A short time later, Prahladapriya came to Key West for a week to work on weights and
measures for the cookbook. This was just one of many complexities Yogesvara and
Prahladapriya faced over the next two years. Yamuna had wanted the cookbook to be truly
international, and that meant that all of the American weights and measures (teaspoons,
tablespoons, ounces, pounds, cups, quarts, etc.) had to be re-measured for the metric equivalents.

Yogesvara das: We knew early on that it was not possible just to take an American
weight or measure and do some kind of mechanical mathematical conversion. Everything had to
be reweighed for every ingredient in every recipe. That is an important point. Our hope had been
that in order for this to be an International book, it had to have both the US and the
metric/imperial measurements. Yamuna made a very strong point about this—that because things
settle, and you have a packed cup versus a loose cup, things don’t translate mechanically like
that. If you are going to put in a European metric equivalent, you have to reweigh every single
ingredient. And I remember the two of us thinking, “How much worse is this service going to
get?” because it was just too much work.

Prahladapriya spent that week in Key West reweighing and re-measuring each ingredient
of the 500-plus recipes in the book. He continued the work in New York, and when Lord
Krishna’s Cuisine was finally published, only two small errors were found in his precise
measurements, which were then corrected on the second printing—an amazing feat of dedication!

Banabehari Ashram Moves Again

Yamuna and I lived in Key West for a little over a year. We both felt spiritually
surcharged by the peaceful environment and company of good devotee friends, yet Key West was
an expensive tourist island, its isolation adding significant costs to everything, from drinking
water to utilities. As we were already burdened with a heavy debt load, we could not afford to
remain there. In addition, with the cookbook on the road to being published and its future no
longer troubling her, Yamuna felt a desire for more active service to Srila Prabhupada and the
Vaishnavas.

Into the Fire — New Vrindavan — October 1985

Our friend Visakha devi had moved to the New Vrindavan community in June of 1985
with her husband Yadubara das. Knowing of our financial difficulties, Yadubara suggested to
Yamuna that we move to New Vrindavan—a suggestion enthusiastically encouraged by New
Vrindavan’s then leader, Kirtanananda Swami. Although he was vague as to what our services
would entail, Yamuna and I saw the move as an opportunity to be part of a large devotee
community and live simply enough to pay off some of our debt.

We arrived sometime in mid-October and moved into a ramshackle trailer directly across
the road from Visakha and Yadubara’s home. With her usual enthusiasm Yamuna tried to make
the humble abode welcoming, but it was a near impossible task, partly because the trailer sat at an
angle, and one felt that at any moment we or our guests might slide right out the patio doors.
There were also hosts of large and small living entities sharing the small space with us. Yet,
seeing how many in the community lived, we were grateful for what we were given and tried to
make the best of it.

Yamuna often said that she never saw devotees work as hard under such difficult
conditions as in New Vrindavan. She remembered the sincere service Kuladri das, New
Vrindavan’s president, had rendered to Srila Prabhupada during his illness in India in 1974. And
we were both in awe of his wife, Kutila, who was in constant movement around the
community—carrying heavy water buckets, cooking in the restaurant at the Palace, maintaining
an ashram of girls and caring for her own children. There were many like her, both women and
men, who humbly went about their services and were the heart and soul of the community.
Yamuna always retained a deep and abiding respect for the often unheralded devotees of New
Vrindavan who served Srila Prabhupada’s mission under extremely austere and trying
circumstances.

A Strange Timing

Yamuna was determined to stay out of the political radar in New Vrindavan due to our
past experiences. She had met Kirtanananda Swami a few times, beginning in 1966 in New York,
but did not really know him. When we entered Prabhupada’s Palace for the first time and saw
Srila Prabhupada’s study containing his life-size murti and a Deity altar similar to
Radha-Banabehari’s, we saw an opportunity to serve and worship Them there. Permission was
given, and Radha-Banabehari became established in Srila Prabhupada’s study. This arrangement
allowed us to create a small temple within the larger context of New Vrindavan, where women
could come to our very early morning program and still attend the morning program at the temple
of Radha-Vrindavan Chandra. It also allowed the hundreds of people daily touring Prabhupada’s
Palace to have the unexpected darshan of Their Lordships.
 Each morning we would walk from our humble trailer to the Palace at 2:00 AM where,
along with a small group of women, we would chant japa, wake the Deities, perform arati, bathe,
dress and garland Them with roses from the magnificent gardens, and then have ecstatic kirtan
before Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari and Srila Prabhupada. It snowed heavily that winter, and on
several occasions I remember us walking in darkness through thigh-high snow to the Palace.

Rupa Rupesvari devi: [Yamuna devi] emphasized by example the necessity for the real
qualities of spiritual life to be established in order to honestly and purely pursue devotional life in
truth. Besides this eye-opening illumination was the amazing depth of presence one felt for Srila
Prabhupada when you got to be with Yamuna. It was self-evident that her whole life [was]
wrapped in Prabhupada’s values, examples, remembrance and teachings, without any ulterior
motives. I learned a lot from Yamuna and Dina, and not just how to make a flower vase, but what
it really means to be a Vaishnava from the inside out.

Unfortunately, on October 27, within two weeks of our arrival, Kirtanananda Swami was
brutally attacked and nearly killed during a Dussehra (burning an effigy of Ravana) festival.
Yamuna and I had attended the festivities and were later told the attack had taken place within a
half hour after we left. With their autocratic leader now impaired by extensive neurological
damage, philosophical and profane deviations in New Vrindavan became more flagrant. One
morning within weeks of the attack, Yamuna confronted a surreal sight at Prabhupada’s Palace:

Yamuna: When you first entered Prabhupada’s Palace, your eyes were immediately
drawn to the imposing murti of Srila Prabhupada. Every morning and evening we would arrive at
the Palace, offer obeisances to him and then proceed to the back study, where another murti of
Srila Prabhupada sat behind a desk next to the altar with Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari. So one day,
very close to the time Kirtanananda was injured, Dina and I entered the Palace as usual and
caught sight of Srila Prabhupada dressed in the full regalia of European royalty—complete with
faux ermine cape, imperial crown and scepter. I think we just stared for a long time, and it was
like we went on with our service pretending we hadn’t seen what we just saw. Later, a feeling of
dread came over me—an “Oh, no, not again” kind of feeling. Things just continued to go
downhill from there.

Anyone who knew Yamuna during her devotional life quickly learned that she was a
traditionalist in her understanding and application of Krishna bhakti. While she was enthusiastic
to preach according to time and place (yukta vairagya), she could not bear to see the mission and
core teachings of Srila Prabhupada breached or altered in any way. It is perhaps through
understanding how strict Srila Prabhupada had been in Yamuna’s own training—sometimes
humbly stating in reply to her praises of him that his one qualification was that he had presented
what his Spiritual Master had given without change—that one can find the root of Yamuna’s
aversion to the anomalies taking place before her eyes.
 The Swanlike Separation of the Milk from the Water

Much has already been said about the unfortunate occurrences at New Vrindavan, and we
stayed there a mere nine months, each month witnessing more “high strangeness,” to use
Yamuna’s words. Yet, as with our prior experiences during trying times, sweet and meaningful
devotee relationships were established there which lasted a lifetime. Yamuna’s steady devotion,
unwavering dedication to Srila Prabhupada and warm and compassionate nature encouraged and
nurtured others. She welcomed guests to our ramshackle, tilted trailer just as she would if we had
still been at the Trewidden Estate, making everyone feel at ease and feeding them sumptuous
prasadam. Many years later in Mumbai, Nathji Prabhu and his glorious and circumspect wife,
Maithili devi, reminded us of their visit to our tipsy trailer (“I can’t believe you lived in that
place!”).

Guests in the trailer

Yamuna devi also met Radhanath Swami in New Vrindavan on a few occasions, further
forging a relationship of appreciation and gratitude that remained extremely meaningful to
Yamuna for the rest of her life. Another new devotee friend was Nirmala devi, one of the legion
of women sankirtan devotees whose sacrifices Yamuna never forgot. “I could never have
performed the service that they did,” was a frequent comment, often followed by tears of
appreciation. Visakha devi, of course, was right across the road, and her spirited three-year-old
daughter, Amrita, often spent time with us. I have mentioned only a few of the many devotees in
New Vrindavan who inspired both Yamuna and me with their spirit of dedication and tolerance.
Over the years, Yamuna never forgot them and, when reflecting on her New Vrindavan
experience, preferred to focus on its sincere devotees rather than its decline.
 Yamuna encouraging young Nadia.

The Finalization and Publication of “Lord Krishna” —

New York — 1986

While Yamuna devi resided in New Vrindavan, Yogesvara and Prahladapriya in New
York were grappling with the complexities of preparing her massive cookbook manuscript for
publication. It soon became clear that at some point Yamuna would have to come to New York to
assist with the final editing and layout.

Yogesvara das: In those days there were no digital coding programs. It was all manual.
So on any given page of [Lord Krishna’s Cuisine] you had the heading of the recipe in a larger
boldface type. Below it is the Hindi name; below that is a smaller type that is the introduction.
Below that is a boldface type in a smaller typeface, giving the preparation and cooking time.
Underneath that you have [another typeface for] the ingredients in chronological order, with
words like ghee, mung dal badi, urad dal badi, and three quarters of a pound/340 grams. And
then under the cooking directions you have boldface number one, period, space, and then the type
starts. Every change on every one of those lines had to be preceded by a code, which would then
tell the computer to change the typeface to this size. I truly remember staring into the depths of
madness as we were sitting there night after night keying this in.

Yamuna and I arrived in New York in July 1986 and moved into rooms at Bala Books on
West Twenty-third Street, directly above a gypsy fortune teller. The bustling heart of Manhattan
was a far cry from our rural New Vrindavan trailer and quite a culture shock for both Yamuna
and me. With her usual enthusiasm, Yamuna plunged into layout work (a task she was already
expert in) and collaborated with their exacting final editor. Finally, after a more than ten-year
endeavor on Yamuna’s part and an intense two-year commitment by Yogesvara and
Prahladapriya, Lord Krishna’s Cuisine: The Art of Indian Vegetarian Cooking was published in
early 1987.
 Prahladapriya das: Once the first book came off the press, there is a (ceremonial) first
hand-bound edition. And we grappled with it, because they always bind it in leather; it is a
leather-bound book that you will always have. But we said, “No, we can’t go there.” So they
hand-bound this particular copy and stamped it, and when the book came in, Yamuna devi sat
down and showed every page to Srila Prabhupada. Shortly after that she turned to me and said,
“Prahlad, you should have this.” And I have the very first copy, hand-inscribed by her.

“Lord Krishna’s Cuisine” Creates a Stir in the Food World

The impressive first printing of Lord Krishna’s Cuisine: The Art of Indian Vegetarian
Cooking featured a beautiful white dust jacket containing both burgundy and black fonts
highlighting a photograph of Indian spices. The distributors, E. P. Dutton & Co., sent first copies
out to reviewers and food writers, and truthfully none of us had any inkling of how the book
would be received. Certainly, due to its immense size, uncommon subject (Indian vegetarian
cooking) and lack of glossy photographs, expectations were not overly optimistic, but then the
initial reviews started coming in, and we were all left stunned. It seemed that Lord Krishna
wanted His cuisine to be recognized. Extracts from some of those reviews follow:

No, it isn’t the esoteric, limited audience work the title page suggests; it’s one of the most
important cookbooks in years. The American-born Devi, who as the disciple and personal cook
of an Indian spiritual leader spent eight years off and on traveling with him in India and
elsewhere, has assembled about 500 detailed, carefully written recipes representing the vast range
of Indian cooking styles. But the recipes pale in interest beside the vast amounts of information
on ingredients, techniques, equipment and critical culinary indefinables.

—KIRKUS REVIEWS, JULY 15, 1987

 Yamuna Devi’s inspirational look at the vast and seemingly unlimited range of Indian
vegetarian cooking is bound to get an enthusiastic response from the ever-increasing numbers of
health conscious food enthusiasts. The author describes a major distinction between Indian
vegetarian cooks and others in that their emphasis is treating the culinary experience as a
religious and devotional one. This encompasses all aspects of food preparation, from shopping,
menu planning to kitchen cleanliness and serving.

—RAVE REVIEWS, FIVE STAR REVIEW, AUG./SEPT. 1987

Such elegant dishes might easily grace the most sophisticated table without a whisper of
the pedestrian connotations sometimes associated with vegetarian cooking. A prodigious,
800-page labor of love illustrated with delicate line drawings, the meticulous, encyclopedic
cookbook faithfully reflects the philosophy that cooking is “a spiritual experience … a means of
expressing love and devotion to the Supreme Lord, Krishna.”

—PUBLISHERS WEEKLY, JULY 17, 1987

 Lord Krishna’s Cuisine: The Art of Indian Vegetarian Cooking. Even the book’s
publishers nicknamed it the “Taj Mahal of cookbooks.” In fact, when they first saw the
manuscript they gave it the three boos of the cookbook world: it’s huge, it’s Indian and it’s
vegetarian. The original manuscript was trimmed from 1,400 pages to 800, and the recipe count
dropped to slightly more than 500. Yet author Yamuna Devi says this book only scratches the
surface of all that Indian cuisine has to offer. Size aside, this cookbook is well written, the recipes
are well tested, and the glossary and reference chapters are excellent resources … It is an
invaluable volume for serious cooks and/or vegetarians….

—CHICAGO TRIBUNE, SEPT. 3, 1987

Food writers, reviewers and editors, intrigued by Yamuna’s ebullient and warm
personality and the unique trajectory of her life so eloquently expressed in the cookbook, began
interviewing her. Yamuna used these interviews as opportunities to speak about Srila
Prabhupada, Krishna and her own devotional odyssey:

Yamuna has been enamored with the Indian people, their culture and cuisine for the last
20 years. Born Joan Campanella, her life changed in 1966 when she met her lodestar, Srila
Prabhupada, a swami who presided over her sister’s wedding. Shortly after meeting Prabhupada,
she became one of his disciples, and he renamed her after a river in India…. Yamuna, in Chicago
recently, emanates tranquillity and warmth. Her voice is gentle and soothing. She says, “One of
life’s greatest pleasures is what we eat. The Indian philosophy is to use the best ingredients you
can afford and cook them with love and feeling”….

—CHICAGO TRIBUNE, SEPT. 3, 1987

 Among all the world’s cuisines, nowhere is the connection between food and spirituality
so important as in India. The expression “You are what you eat” is more than a cliché in Indian
cooking, particularly in the cooking of the approximately 600 million vegetarians. What you eat
in these terms affects not only your physical well-being but also your mental and spiritual health.
And by the same token, if you want to feel like a pagan slob, step into the kitchen of Yamuna
Devi, a Vaishnava—devotee of Lord Krishna, and a strict vegetarian who eats no meat or fish.
Her cooking style is serene, clean and organized, quiet, even shoeless. Visitors to her kitchen will
be asked if they mind removing their shoes—and something about the transaction makes it clear
that the visitor will not mind. Devi grew up in Oregon and then spent many years in India and
England, some of them cooking for and learning from Indian swami Srila Prabhupada, some of
them hanging out with the Beatles. In another era, you might have called her a flower child, but
with the recent publication of her encyclopedic work on Indian vegetarian cooking, you’d have to
call her a scholar…. Lord Krishna’s Cuisine: The Art of Indian Vegetarian Cooking is 771 pages
long, not counting the index and list of ingredient sources. Recipes begin on page 8, surely a
record for modern cookbooks, where the introduction often includes not only the autobiography
but also the complete psychoanalytic profile of the author along with a justification for his or her
book, whose length tends to be inversely proportional to the sense it makes. Devi devotes a mere
two pages to her own personal part in this ancient cuisine, then plants the reader firmly in the
midst of the recipes…. Devi began her work ten years ago. It has accompanied her on moves
from England to the United States and back, and around various places in the United States as
well. She has put as much work into every step and nuance of the project as a candidate for a
doctoral degree would put into a dissertation. The result is a work of scholarship that also works
as a cookbook. She seems to have found the middle ground—rare in the world of cookbook
writing—between the desire to tell everything she knows and the desire to produce a book that
people can actually cook from. Lord Krishna’s Cuisine: The Art of Indian Vegetarian Cooking is
an act of faith in more ways than one. Devi began the project before Madhur Jaffrey or Julie
Sahni had introduced Indian cooking to the Western world. There were few Indian restaurants in
the United States, even fewer Indian vegetarian restaurants. She had no publisher and not much
hope that a publisher would find such a work of interest. In other words, she knew nobody was
paying her for her time, but she persevered anyway. The first draft of the manuscript, completed
around 1980, was 1,400 pages long. The outtakes alone—some 200 recipes—are enough to make
up two average-size cookbooks. By the time she completed the first manuscript, the food
processor had become standard equipment in American kitchens, so she made revisions to
accommodate that. And as she worked, Indian restaurants opened, exotic produce and spices
became more available and vegetarians were no longer considered especially dangerous. So she
revised some more, able suddenly to include recipes for typically Indian ingredients. Along the
way she found a man in South Devon, England—a shepherd by trade—who did wonderful little
drawings to illustrate the book. That phase—getting the illustrations exactly the way she wanted
them—took nine months of communications back and forth between David Baird, the illustrator,
and Devi. Working on the layout took Devi and the publisher another nine months. Most authors
don’t bother themselves much with this phase; Devi looked at every page layout. Those she
didn’t like she revised herself. In other words this is a careful book.

—LINDA GREIDER, THE WASHINGTON POST

 When Joan Campanella was in her early 20’s, she went to New York for her sister’s
wedding, expecting a traditional ceremony in line with their upper-middle-class upbringing in
Oregon. Instead, she found that an Indian swami was to perform the wedding and oversee all the
cooking—and he wanted her to help. The wedding became her initiation into Indian culture and
vegetarian cooking … This book is the product of a spiritual and culinary journey that included
five years in India with the swami, Srila Prabhupada, who became her teacher. Swami
Prabhupada founded ISKCON and was a Vaishnava, or devotee of the Hindu god Krishna. He
rechristened her Yamuna after a river in India. She uses that name as her only name…. “I became
deeply interested in what he was saying.” She spoke as if their relationship had been merely
interrupted, not ended, by his death in 1977. “I can never begin to say what he was to me,” she
said. “He wasn’t [just] a charismatic personality. He was the most practical, humorous,
perceptive, well-rounded human being I’ve ever come across.” In 1970, Yamuna went to India
with her teacher and for nearly five years worked as his cook, often traveling around the country.
For two years, they traveled through India by train. “We would visit private homes, sometimes
palaces; sometimes we camped out in tents,” she said. Because she was with a holy man, she
said, thousands of people sometimes turned out to greet them. Food was always a part of the
experience. In the Vaishnava religion that she adopted, which she describes as “simply
establishing a loving relationship with God,” food and cooking become a loving, spiritual
experience….In a recent interview on a sultry day, Yamuna, a serene woman dressed all in white,
served savory butter crackers flavored with lemon called nun gaja that come from Bengal. She
said she hoped her cookbook would introduce Americans to the variety of Indian cooking which
she said is not reflected in Indian restaurants in the United States. “Indian cuisines, like the
Chinese, are regional,” she said. “A lot of it has to do with the climate.” She said she thinks
Americans are especially receptive to Indian food now, because it is spicy, but it can also be light
and healthful….

—NEW YORK TIMES, AUG. 26, 1987

These are merely a representation from over one hundred clippings in a similar vein, from
the most prestigious newspapers, magazines, and food writers in the country—and this was
before any award nominations were announced. Perhaps one of the most poignant for Yamuna
was a short handwritten note from cooking world luminary Peter Kump, of Peter Kump’s
Cooking School, a past president of the International Association of Culinary Professionals
(IACP) and founder of the James Beard Foundation.

Dear Yamuna, I am very impressed with your book—“encyclo-pedic” is the only word
that comes to mind—obviously a work of love done with respect and thoroughness. It should
become a standard—and I hope it does. Best wishes to you. Peter
 The Pulitzer Prize of the Cookbook World — The
IACP/Seagram’s Awards

By 1987, what had begun as the Tastemaker Awards honoring outstanding cookbooks and
culinary professionals had evolved into the International Association of Culinary Professionals
(IACP)/Seagram’s Awards. Considered the Academy Award or Pulitzer Prize of the cookbook
world, it was the only award of its kind at the time. Just to be nominated in any of the 13
categories was considered a great honor for any author. One day we were informed that Lord
Krishna’s Cuisine had been nominated in the Asian cookbook category. Everyone involved in the
massive cookbook endeavor felt a sense of accomplishment and was delighted for Yamuna devi.
As a first-time author writing about a then unheralded culinary tradition in the West, it was a
privilege just to have been nominated.

Yogesvara das: Among the books nominated in the Asian cooking category was Lord
Krishna’s Cuisine. We were going crazy, thinking, “If it’s nominated for best cookbook in the
Asian cookbook category, that’s fantastic; we’re so lucky just to have been nominated.”

The Award Ceremony took place on April 5, 1988, in the Seagram’s Building in New
York. Each circular table was filled with the nominees, agents, publishers and other prominent
professionals in the culinary field. Among the nominees that year were some of the most famous
chefs in the world—Jacques Pepin, Craig Claiborne, Pierre Franey and Julia Child, among others.

Yogesvara das: We show up at the Sea-gram’s Building and go into the hall, where these
very august chefs were all there to find out who won the best cookbooks of the year. That year
we were sure nothing was going to happen [for us] because the best chefs in the world had all
published books.

When the President of the IACP stood at the podium to announce the nominees and
winners in each category, the first thing he said was, “Well, this year we have some surprises.” I
don’t think that any of us at our table thought for a moment that this might refer to Lord
Krishna’s Cuisine. The nominees in each of the 13 categories were then announced, followed by
that category’s winning cookbook. When Lord Krishna’s Cuisine was selected as the winner in
the Asian category, our table virtually erupted in ecstatic applause. Yamuna very graciously
accepted the plaque at the lectern, thanking everyone for their votes and support.

Of course, everyone was anxiously waiting for the Book of the Year Award to be
announced. Chosen from among the winners of the thirteen categories, it was the jewel in the
crown award that everyone coveted.

Yogesvara das: The President of the IACP then gets up to the dais and says, “This year
we have another surprise. For the first time in our history we are awarding our best Cookbook of
the Year Award to a non-Western cuisine.” We were looking at each other [questioningly]. He
says, “The winner of the Book of the Year goes to Lord Krishna’s….” That’s as far as he got. We
began screaming like banshees at that point…. Yamuna then graciously floats up, tears streaming
down her face. She’s up there shaking, receiving this Award and thanking Prabhupada, thanking
Krishna, thanking everybody. We were looking around, and there’s Julia Child, Jacques Pepin,
Pierre Franey looking at each other like, “What world have we just entered?” We literally went
screaming and dancing down Park Avenue chanting “Haribol! Haribol!”
 After the Book of the Year Award was announced, virtually every news organization used
the phrase “surprise winner” in their coverage. One of the judges, Iris Bailin of the Cleveland
Plain Dealer, eloquently expressed her reasoning in an article on April 27:

When the large cardboard box arrived at the food department, I knew I was in trouble. A
couple of weeks earlier, I had agreed to be a judge for the IACP/Seagram’s Awards for the best
food and drink books of 1987…. Well, it’s an honor, I thought. It’s not often one shares a panel
with food writers like Mimi Sheraton, Florence Fabricant and Phyllis Richman. I’m glad I didn’t
have to test recipes from the bad books; there were some real losers in there. But some were quite
appealing. And when I started leafing through Yamuna Devi’s Lord Krishna’s Cuisine: The Art
of Indian Vegetarian Cooking, I knew I had a rare book in my hands. Here, slightly paraphrased,
is what I wrote in my notes: “An astounding book, extraordinary for its depth, precision and
complexity. It has everything I look for in a great cookbook. A personal voice. Respect for its
subject. A sense of a cuisine and the people who cook it. It adds something new to the literature
and stimulates me mentally and sensually. I couldn’t wait to try the recipes and—hurrah—they
work! Instructions are detailed. The section on panir is amazing, and I’ve never seen such
thorough directions for making ghee, dal (legumes) and buying and preparing rice.” I knew this
was a special book. I knew it had a chance to win the Asian category (I wasn’t the only judge).
But when I learned it had been named the best Book of the Year, I was shocked and delighted.
This was, after all, a highly specialized volume with presumably limited appeal. It didn’t even
have pretty pictures. It’s nice to know that sometimes excellence beats out pizzazz.

—IRIS BAILIN, CLEVELAND PLAIN DEALER, APR. 27, 1988

 Some of the other judges mentioned the book’s scholarship and attention to detail, while
others noted its unique voice and “presentation of its thesis.”

Each year hundreds of cookbooks are published by large and small publishing houses.
This year, 200 books were nominated to compete in 13 categories, the most cookbooks to be
judged since the competition began 12 years ago as the Tastemaker Awards. Each category was
judged by three judges in different cities, none knowing who the others were. Books were sent to
judges’ homes along with scoring questionnaires. Some categories were large…. Winning “Best
of the Year” was Lord Krishna’s Cuisine: The Art of Indian Vegetarian Cooking by Yamuna
Devi. “It had to do with scholarship and the detail of the book,” says Jan Weimer of Bon Appetit
magazine and member of the awards committee. “In the past there have been some who have
won no less for their pictures than this book has won because it didn’t have any.” The meticulous
careful work of this book and the presentation of its thesis and development of its concept is
“what done it.”

—SACRAMENTO BEE, APR. 20, 1988

Lord Krishna’s Cuisine: The Art of Indian Vegetarian Cooking, an 800-page masterwork
by Yamuna Devi, has won the annual International Association of Culinary Professionals
(IACP)/Seagram’s Food and Beverage Book Award for 1987. The voting for Book of the Year
took place in New York City on March 10, and results were made public at a breakfast on April
5. Donald Schrader, chairman of the awards committee, called Devi’s cookbook “a breakthrough
that will make American people sit up and take notice,” and compared its publication to that of
Julia Child’s, The Art of French Cooking 20 years ago. Lord Krishna’s Cuisine: The Art of Indian
Vegetarian Cooking was also named best book in the Asian category and was the first book from
that category in the history of the Awards to win Book of the Year. “Judges were obviously
impressed with the extraordinary depth of investigation and research,” said Schrader. “We’ve
been presented with an astronomical amount of meaning in an area that hasn’t received
widespread attention in this country. Not only that but the recipes are easy to follow, they work,
and the results taste good.”

—COOK’S MAGAZINE, MAY/JUNE 1988

An 800-page book on Indian vegetarian cuisine? Sounds like something that would appeal
to very few, but instead Reston resident Yamuna Devi’s work, issued last year by Dutton, cleaned
up at the recent national cookbook awards. Named Book of the Year by the IACP, Lord
Krishna’s Cuisine beat out efforts by Craig Claiborne, Jacques Pepin and Barbara Kafka, among
others, and set the cookbook world astir. It’s the first time a non-Western book, a vegetarian book
or a first-time author has won the top award. The book is not only a work of scholarship, it’s also
workable. You can actually cook from it. Devi was as surprised as anybody at the awards
ceremony.

—WASHINGTONIAN MAGAZINE, JUNE 1988

 The cornerstone to Devi’s successful translation of Lord Krishna’s Cuisine to the
American dinner plate has been her own true immersion and spiritual training within the Indian
culinary context. “The Vedic axiom Annam Brahma, or Food is God, never leaves the mind of a
Vaishnava cook,” Devi writes, and this expresses her underlying philosophy concisely. Thank
God for gurus who like to cook. And praise the Lord for cooks who write their autobiography in
recipes…. On a technical level and in reference to the plethora of competition, Devi’s book is
unquestionably excellent, even breathtakingly impressive…. With so much finesse and
workmanship underpinning it, it’s not surprising Lord Krishna’s Cuisine took a double first place
in the 1987 Best Cookbook and Best Asian Cookbook in a competition with 200 entries,
co-sponsored by the IACP and Seagram & Sons. It was deservedly billed “the Taj Mahal of
cookbooks” by one journalist. And its timeliness is certainly commendable. “Every cookbook
author must feel that there is something unique in his or her work that justifies the effort of
producing it,” comments Devi. What is unique in Devi’s presentation is the implicit embodiment
of a vital holism about food and spirit, spiritual practice and eating. Both are daily and unending,
certainly for the Hindu or Vaishnavite. We are equally fortunate that Devi isn’t evangelical or
messianic about her food philosophy. Her ambiance is light, almost detached, as she
demonstrates in word and in the way she lays out the instructions for “Lavish Rice and Mung Dal
Bunchi Kitchari:” “India’s culinary heritage is a spiritual light…. Looking back I could never
have imagined the treasure of transcendental philosophy, music, art and cuisine that awaited me,”
Devi writes.

—RICHARD LEVITON, SMALL PRESS JOURNAL (CANADA), OCT. 1988

 In reviewing the two large three-ring binders of clippings on interviews Yamuna gave
over the next years during book tours, cooking demonstrations, by phone or on television, it is
telling to see how she openly and unabashedly honored Srila Prabhupada as her Guru and
Krishna as the Supreme Lord. Her demeanor was so warm and unaffected that when she spoke of
her spirituality, they somehow felt her depth of sincerity and were disarmed by her, even though
they likely held contrary views. This was characteristic of Yamuna’s presentation of Krishna
bhakti throughout her life. Because it was integral to her sense of self, she was able to present it
naturally and appealingly, leaving her audiences charmed and wanting to know more.
 A Close Encounter with the Restaurant Business

In the interim between working on Lord Krishna’s Cuisine and its publication, Yamuna
and I moved into a small apartment on New York’s Upper East Side. She had been encouraged
by the local ISKCON guru to open a prasadam restaurant, something Yamuna had considered
before. To test the feasibility of such an undertaking in New York City, we attended a two-day
seminar given by a famous restaurant consultant entitled “So You Want to Open a Restaurant.”
We should have been alerted by the somewhat negative connotation of the title itself, but we
went—filled with hopes of creating a five-star restaurant featuring Yamuna’s recipes offered to
the Lord. Unfortunately, the speaker, addressing a room full of similarly hopeful restaurateurs,
opened her seminar by saying, “If I am successful leading this two-day seminar, you will all
leave here and not open a restaurant.” She then proceeded to hammer us with distressing
statistics, such as the fact that 90% of New York restaurants fail within the first year, and the
even more distressing reality of giving bribes to “Vinnie and the boys” at the back door if you
wanted your garbage picked up or your utilities to work. I don’t know about the others, but
Yamuna and I left the seminar convinced by her arguments.

When the cookbook was published and Yamuna began giving interviews, The Journal
came to our small New York apartment, and their subsequent article featured pictures of
Radha-Banabehari with Yamuna sitting next to Them. Yamuna had built beautiful
floor-to-ceiling hidden shelving upholstered in white from a do-it-yourself manual, and publicity
stills taken of her next to the shelving were later used on book tours and promotional events.

Unfortunately, by then we were again faced with the reality that New York City’s high
cost of living, along with the debt burden we still carried, meant we were again forced to move.
By the time Lord Krishna’s Cuisine won the IACP/Seagram’s Award, we had settled in Reston,
Virginia, just outside of Washington DC.
 Yamuna and the Media — “I am Simply Giving What My
Guru Taught Me”

Initially Yamuna devi and I chose the Virginia suburbs of Washington DC to work with
our Godbrother Garuda das’s Institute for Vaishnava Studies (IVS). While on a pilgrimage to
India, we had met devotees in Kolkata from the IVS who were translating Vaishnava literatures,
and Yamuna was intrigued and appreciated their valuable service. Because of her immersion into
the prayers of the Vaishnava Acharyas, Yamuna often expressed a desire to more fully
understand our Vaishnava history and lineage, and this seemed like a good opportunity.

However, when Lord Krishna’s Cuisine won the Book of the Year Award, popular
interest in her unique approach to the culinary arts as a spiritual discipline created an opportunity
for her to reach a wide audience through the mainstream press. It was an opportunity not to be
missed, and with her usual meticulous preparation, dedication and charm, she immersed herself
in spreading the glories of Krishna, Srila Prabhupada and vegetarianism. In addition to her
interviews, cooking demonstrations, book tours and promotional events, Yamuna became a food
writer for such august media as The Washington Post, which syndicated her articles in
newspapers around the country, Bon Appetit magazine, Cook’s magazine, the Vegetarian Times
and the Herb Companion.

I was stunned during one of her phone interviews with a famous radio “shock jock” where
he repeatedly tried to divert the conversation to Yamuna’s relationship with the
Beatles—possibly in an attempt to elicit some salacious tidbit from her. Yamuna, unruffled,
smoothly returned to the message of the cookbook. When he asked why she would undertake
such a massive and obscure task (I am paraphrasing; his words were more graphic and
disrespectful), Yamuna calmly replied, “I am simply giving [in the book] what my Guru taught
me.” That brought the interview to a quick and merciful closure.

Yamuna’s determination to honor Srila Prabhu-pada at every step never wavered, never
faltered, never changed during her lifetime. And to the end, the desire to again have his personal
association remained her aspiration—a goal she expressed repeatedly:

I pray that one day in the future I may see you face to face again. This vision may be
many lifetimes in front of me, but I do not see any other goal worth achieving, however slow or
difficult or impossible this task may seem from my fallen position. There is nothing else more
appealing. Please bless me with the perseverance to continue on the path to meet you.
 CHAPTER 12

Full Immersion in the Nectarean Ocean

1990’s
 “Yamuna’s Table” on Cherry Hill Lane — Washington DC
— 1990–1993

AS YAMUNA’S REPUTATION continued to grow with her expansion into food writing,
she traveled throughout the country to book signings, cooking demonstrations, promotional
events and interviews. Meanwhile, I had taken a job at a large intellectual property law firm in
Washington. Unfortunately, from our Reston ashram my commute took three hours daily, so in
1990 we purchased a small townhouse on Cherry Hill Lane in Georgetown, a short twenty
minutes from my workplace. Although small, it was architecturally unique, with three levels and
floor-to-ceiling windows on its front side, giving it a much larger and brighter aspect. It also
allowed for the temple room to occupy one entire floor. Yamuna set about her usual ambitious
interior design work, covering sofas, pillows, futons and mats with a distinctive pattern
continuous throughout the ashram. The result was stunning. Those who knew Yamuna also knew
of her penchant for redesigning spaces. Wherever we lived, whether humble or grand, she
changed the configuration of the ashram many times. “Doesn’t this look better?” she would say.
“It looked perfect before you changed it,” I would reply.

An East-Meets-West Concept for a Cookbook

Once an author’s book receives great recognition and/or sales, a publisher will strongly
encourage them to immediately begin another. Yamuna was well aware that some of the
hard-to-find ingredients and lengthy procedures in Lord Krishna’s Cuisine made it difficult for
busy people to regularly cook from it. She decided that she would write a cookbook integrating
Indian vegetarian cuisine with the healthy spa cuisine being popularized in America and create an
East-meets-West fusion utilizing readily available ingredients and recipes that were lighter and
easier to cook.
 Just as she had done with Lord Krishna’s Cuisine, Yamuna embarked on the Yamuna’s
Table cookbook with meticulous research and preparation, coming up with unlikely food
combinations and cooking innovations such as using olive oil sprays and baking instead of
deep-frying which not only met all the above criteria, but were delicious as well.

A Weighty Issue

As Lord Krishna’s Cuisine was important to Yamuna for its presentation of cooking as an
act of devotion, the creation of Yamuna’s Table, while also an act of devotion, was very personal
for Yamuna for another reason. She had battled with her own fluctuating weight issues for as
long as she could remember. Even with daily exercise and eating birdlike portions, she seemed to
gain weight, and Yamuna’s Table provided a medium to further explore low-fat alternatives to
high-fat vegetarian staples. In 1991 Yamuna under-went a battery of tests at George Washington
University Hospital and was told she had hypothyroidism which caused her metabolism to be
sluggish. At the time, the treatment options (mainly pharmacological) were unacceptable to
Yamuna, so in Yamuna’s Table she created unique recipes to showcase low-fat, healthy,
Indian-inspired vegetarian cuisine which was both delicious and elegant. Unfortunately, during
the tests doctors found a precancerous condition as well, and Yamuna underwent major surgery
which took her months to fully recover from. This discouraged her from seeking allopathic
solutions for health issues in her life. Although Yamuna tried a myriad of herbs, medicines, diets
and other solutions, she was never able to resolve her metabolic issues although she remained
active and full of stamina until the last few years of her life.
 Yamuna Promotes the Release of “Lord Krishna” in the
United Kingdom

There is a picture of Yamuna standing in front of Foyles’ Bookstore in London with the
English edition of Lord Krishna’s Cuisine featured in the window. When the six American
devotees first came to England in 1968, Foyles, a London fixture since 1903, was touted as the
world’s largest bookstore. During their difficult first months in England, Yamuna would often
spend time there, so when she arrived in November 1991 to promote the cookbook, she was very
pleased to see it so prominently displayed in a bookstore that held poignant memories of her early
years in England.

Yamuna: During those first months when the six of us were spread out all over London
with no money and not knowing how we would preach or even live, Janaki and I would spend
hours in Foyles’ Bookstore on Charing Cross Road reading about England, about India, about
Krishna, about Indian vegetarian cooking, or anything to do with Vaishnavism. We passed many
peaceful hours there, and it gave me a deeper understanding of the English people. I can’t say for
certain, but maybe this helped in later preaching efforts.

Now, 23 years later, Yamuna again revisited Foyles, but this time hers was one of the
featured books. After two weeks of promotional interviews and book signings, as well as
reconnecting with valued devotee friends, she returned to Banabehari’s ashram in Washington to
resume her newspaper and magazine writing commitments and her work on Yamuna’s Table.
 The Highly Anticipated “Yamuna” is Released in 1992

Unlike Lord Krishna’s Cuisine, which took over ten years to write, Yamuna’s Table:
Healthful Vegetarian Cuisine Inspired by the Flavors of India, was completed in just over two
years. For Yamuna, with her other writing and promotional commitments and her instinctive
meticulousness, this was unprecedented. Because her first book had won the highest cookbook
honor in the world, Yamuna’s second book was highly anticipated, and it did not disappoint.
Reviewers were amazed at the healthy yet intricate combinations, ease-of-use, and low-fat
alternatives. Some of their comments are included here:

Renewed interest in vegetarian cooking is spawning new cookbooks. Few, however are as
exciting or original as this one by Devi, who highlights “a personal cuisine inspired by many
traditions, best characterized by ease of preparation and lightness; simple, elegant food with its
own unique esprit.” While most noticeably influenced by Indian cuisine, with its depth of style
and tastes nearly as broad as the country itself, Devi departs from the use of ghee and the deep-fat
frying that is popular in Indian food, delivering recipes enriched by spices and yet adeptly
lightened…. Avid cooks (and cookbook readers) will be intrigued by Devi’s suggestions for
seasoning blends, vegetable and fruit-infused oils and her use of olive oil sprays….

—PUBLISHERS WEEKLY, JULY 20, 1992

Oh bless Yamuna Devi! She is sugar and spice and everything tasty and vegetarian made
easy to cook. Devi authored the award-winning Lord Krishna’s Cuisine in 1988 and brings us
now Yamuna’s Table. It takes exotic recipes right into the easy-to-do category. Best of all, it
offers authentic Indian dishes you can make without scouring eleven neighborhoods to find tiny
tucked-away Indian spice shops. This is heaven to vegetarians with Indian tastes, some of whom
swear they have to fly to London, at least, to load up on necessary Indian ingredients. And
easy-to-find and easy-to-cook doesn’t mean boring. Oh not for a second! … Devi has tailored
Indian recipes for health and nutrition so her foods are lighter, using less oil and fat and more
fresh vegetables. Again, thank you, Yamuna.

—BODY, MIND, SPIRIT MAGAZINE, OCT. 1992

There’s something a bit breathtaking about opening the still unbound galleys of a new
cookbook by an author like Yamuna Devi. After all, her previous book, Lord Krishna’s Cuisine
won the IACP/Seagram’s Award for Best Cookbook of 1987. It was the first cookbook featuring
either vegetarian or non-Western cuisine to win this prestigious award. As I leafed through the
pages of Yamuna’s Table, I couldn’t help but wonder could she do it again? Realistically, of
course, the chance of an author taking the IACP award twice is nearly nil. But by my estimation,
she ought to be in the running. Devi calls her new book a “flavor journey,” and indeed it is. She
uses a wide range of ingredients, combining Indian and Western ingredients and techniques.
Many of the recipes are adaptations of traditional Indian dishes that reflect current eating
standards…. Other recipes have no apparent Indian influence, but are simply imaginative and
sophisticated creations. In contrast to Lord Krishna’s Cuisine, the recipes in Yamuna’s Table are
commendably low in fat…. I was impressed by the quality and quantity of salad recipes in
Yamuna’s Table … Devi’s entrees cover the broadest range of all. Most of the 200 recipes are
short, simple and easy to follow. This book is a unique collection of recipes from a highly
innovative cook. If you already have a large collection of vegetarian cookbooks and are looking
for fresh, elegant, original ideas, you’ll find them in Yamuna’s Table.

—VEGETARIAN TIMES, OCTOBER 1992

When Lord Krishna’s Cuisine, a massive work on Indian vegetarian cooking, won the
1987 IACP Cookbook of the Year award, it created a sensation. Never before had a book on
non-Western cuisine been so honored and rarely had so many food processionals been so
impressed by and so personally taken with a first-time author. Now for Yamuna Devi’s readers,
and for cooks everywhere who seek light, lively and creative meatless cooking, there is good
news indeed: the publication of Yamuna’s Table: Healthful Vegetarian Cuisine Inspired by the
Flavors of India. Filled with intriguingly seasoned food, inspired by—but not limited to—that of
India, Yamuna’s Table is a personal work, a collection of mouth-watering recipes and ground
breaking techniques. “My own approach to cooking,” says Yamuna, “is constantly evolving,
influenced by people, travel and working in many kitchens.” The evolutionary approach has been
full realized in Yamuna’s Table in which a dish is as likely to be seasoned with ancho chilies as
by ginger, as likely to include cranberries as lentils, as likely to be accompanied by a salsa as by a
chutney. “As you cook with this book,” Yamuna notes, “you will begin a flavor journey. If you
experiment with these dishes on a daily basis and use them as inspiration for our own creations,
you may enjoy a diet transformation, one that enlivens the quality of your life. Your palate may
never be the same again.” Spices and flavorings are combined according to the ancient Indian
philosophy of Ayurveda—the yoga of herbs—pleasing the palate and promoting well-being and
good health through “right usage” and “right combinations.” Like Indian cuisine, Yamuna’s food
is rarely as fiery as its reputation might lead one to expect. Yamuna’s method of seasoning dishes
with a spritz of flavorful extra virgin olive oil, cumin or beet infused oil just before serving is
remarkable. The flavors fairly explode on the tongue while fats are reduced or omitted and the
kitchen time is minimized…. Yamuna’s Table, a book on original and sophisticated food by a
creative kitchen master, is an excitingly contemporary work firmly grounded in ancient tradition
pairing good food with good health….

—BOSTON GLOBE, DEC. 9, 1992

 The public relations firm hired by the publisher, E.P. Dutton, sent Yamuna on another
whirlwind promotional tour. Yamuna kept copies of the extensive schedule of interviews,
demonstrations and book signings for Yamuna’s Table in her files. She traveled to New York,
New Jersey, Cleveland, St. Louis, Chicago, Las Vegas, Phoenix, Los Angeles, San Diego, San
Francisco, Portland and Seattle, and there were often up to five promotional events in each city.
In addition, Yamuna taught cooking classes at New York’s New School, the Omega Institute in
upstate New York, De Gustibus at Macy’s, and many other venues. One interviewer described
meeting with Yamuna in Cleveland:

Any nearby visitor lingering over lees of a late afternoon tea would have to strain to hear
Yamuna Devi talk about the Beatles. In the Lobby Lounge of the Ritz-Carlton, Devi’s soft voice,
crocheted shawl and pearls are no more out of place than Miss Marple’s would be though it’s
doubtful the Agatha Christie heroine would have hung around Apple Records in London with her
friends, bringing an apple dish every day for three weeks until the Fab Four were intrigued
enough to invite them in. Though it’s tempting to ask about making macaroni and cheese for John
and Yoko … that’s not really what we’re here to discuss. We’re talking about learning to
appreciate the vegetarian way of eating, a conversation Devi came to as an adult, similar to her
transformation from Joan Campanella of Oregon to Yamuna Devi, a devotee of and an authority
on Indian vegetarian cooking. Her latest cookbook, Yamuna’s Table, is as equally persuasive as
her award-winning 1987 book Lord Krishna’s Cuisine. Both are replete with recipes as well
rounded and satisfying as any four-food group dinner.

—CLEVELAND PLAIN DEALER, DEC. 9, 1992

 “Yamuna’s Table” Wins the James Beard Award

The James Beard Foundation began giving its prestigious awards in 1991, honoring not
only cookbook authors, but chefs, restaurants and food journalists. Ironically, the IACP’s award
of Book of the Year to Lord Krishna’s Cuisine in 1988 had created so much controversy among
the culinary establishment that they not only snubbed Yamuna’s Table in 1992, but subsequently
created a new category for first-time authors. However, the Beard Foundation not only nominated
Yamuna’s Table in the International Cookbook category, but it won the Award as well. Yamuna
wore a sari to the Awards Ceremony on May 3, 1993 and again humbly thanked Srila Prabhupada
as her principal inspiration.

The fact that Yamuna devi so openly represented Srila Prabhupada and her Vaishnava
theology within the context of the mainly meat-oriented, spiritually-intolerant food world of the
time reveals much about who Yamuna was. It took great courage to field challenging or cynical
questions in interviews with such poise, graciousness and conviction as she did. It would have
been easy to focus on the Beatles, on her Maharaja friends or other aspects of her life which
piqued the interest of our fame-obsessed society. Yet she had an uncanny ability to bring a
conversation back to Srila Prabhupada and what she had imbibed from him. For Yamuna,
recognition in the food world represented an opportunity to glorify Srila Prabhupada through the
medium of cooking. And when she felt it digressing into something mundane, she lost interest
and sought out other services.

Yamuna’s Disillusion with the Food World – “It Has

Become Something Mundane”
 By late 1993, I had worked at the Washington law firm for five years; and racing off to
work after the morning program while finishing my japa meditation on trains and buses had
taken a toll on my spiritual life. At the same time Yamuna had grown tired and disillusioned by
the food world. What began as a wonderful opportunity for preaching now appeared mundane to
her. On a teaching trip to New York in August, Yamuna wrote to me:

I am tired and just want to sit and chant in front of the Deities. The teaching is going well,
but everyone just wants to hear about the Beatles and George Harrison. I think I am ready for
another direction because I feel my consciousness becoming affected—and not in a good way.
This has become something mundane and no longer “positive attachment to the positive form.”

—LETTER TO DINATARINI, AUG. 1993

Yamuna was always honest about the possible adverse effects of fame and distinction on
her consciousness. Wherever she went or whatever she did seemed to attract intense interest.
When people speak of a person’s having the charisma to become the center of focus in any
gathering, Yamuna was one of those people. There was just this ineffable quality about Yamuna
which drew others to her; something she was unaware of except where it impacted her Krishna
Consciousness. How many of us could walk away from offers of recording contracts from
George Harrison because it might interfere with our spiritual practice? For Yamuna it was an
easy decision. In the same way, when she felt that her commitments in the food world began to
encroach on her Krishna Conscious practice, she was willing to walk away from it all. Yamuna
was all about “total immersion” in the process of bhakti. It was the axis around which her life
revolved.
 Back to Godhead and “Lord Krishna’s Cuisine”

In 1991 Yamuna began writing a Lord Krishna’s Cuisine column for Back to Godhead
magazine. Conceived of and written by Visakha devi from 1982, Yamuna took on the service
until 1998. Surprisingly, although she had written cookbooks and articles for newspapers and
magazines for years, Yamuna felt unqualified in writing for Back to Godhead.

Yamuna: From the beginning I felt unqualified to write the column. Though at the time I
had been teaching spiritual cooking for years, had written national magazine articles and two
cookbooks, and was a special food writer for the Washington Post, I viewed these qualifications
as insignificant for this task. Back to Godhead is Srila Prabhupada’s magazine dedicated to
uplifting and spiritualizing humanity and to write for it requires a different acumen. From the
onset I turned to prayer, and have kept doing so.

Although I have infrequently included excerpts from these articles in this book, they are a
rich source of illumination on how Yamuna taught the culinary arts as a means of loving service
to Guru and Krishna.

A Long Pilgrimage in India 1993 – 1994

By the end of 1993, Yamuna and I were both looking forward to the spiritual invigoration
a long pilgrimage to India would provide. We had decided to sell our Georgetown townhouse,
and though our broker assured us it would take six to twelve months to sell, we sold it within
three days to a member of President Reagan’s Secret Service detail. Unfortunately, we had been
counting on those six to twelve months to wind-up our commitments and had to temporarily
move our ashram to a suburban apartment in Virginia.
 On December 13, 1993, we finally left for India on a five-month pilgrimage. Yamuna had
several objectives planned for the trip. She wanted to become spiritually surcharged in the holy
dhamas; she wanted to interview Prabhupada’s disciples still residing or visiting India for her
memoir, she wanted to study more temple cooking practices, and she wanted to study Vaishnava
music. During the pilgrimage we spent time in Mumbai, Mangalore, Udupi, Vrindavan, Jaipur,
Udaipur, New Delhi, Mayapur, Jagannatha Puri and Mussoorie. Throughout the pilgrimage she
also recorded her often humorous observations of daily life in India.

Mumbai — December 15, 1993

Yamuna: Finally we arrived in Bombay and going through customs was rather
uneventful after all the trouble in London with the customs. We had prepaid the taxi and as he
pulled up, he blew his engine and a black blob of soot literally splat onto my dress, my socks and
my new silk purse. And then they tied our luggage on with what appeared to be twine and cord;
we were certain it would fly out all over the streets of Bombay. When we got to the temple, there
was a very nice reception from Giriraja Swami’s female disciple, Vishaka Priya. We had a
wonderful mangal arati, but then there was this curious sound—an auto rickshaw outside playing
“Jingle Bells” and “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.”

Although we were in Mumbai for a short time, the women students of Giriraja Swami
were especially nice and attentive. Yamuna commented on their sincere service mood:

Yamuna: Giriraja Swami’s students are very nice; they’ve been taking wonderful care of
us. Up in Prabhupada’s room at 5:30 AM in the afternoon, we had a nice kirtan and Prabhupada
katha lasting until 8 PM at night. We also had the maha prasadam of the Deity from lunch—[it
was] so pleasant.

Nama Cintamani devi: Mother Yamuna did not think that she was worthy of any service
or worship. One really had to beg to do some menial service for her. And if one ever got a chance
to do even some small service, she would not forget and would reciprocate by giving some small
token of appreciation…. I asked if I could prepare some prasadam for their journey [to
Mangalore], and she asked if I could make some theplas. I asked her if she could give me a recipe
I could follow, but she waved me off, saying that I would be able to make them without one….
When I offered them to her she accepted them very gratefully—thankfully and with a kind loving
smile. Later when she was leaving, she turned around and gave me a warm, loving, and motherly
hug. She made me feel so special, though I felt that I didn’t deserve it. She was such an elevated
devotee, a disciple of Srila Prabhupada, but she still extended herself to me out of her natural love
and also out of her love for my guru maharaja, Giriraja Swami…. Later I received a note from
Mothers Yamuna and Dinatarini thanking me for the theplas and stating that they liked them!

Yamuna: Some observations on Hare Krishna Land—Srila Prabhupada’s presence is

very strongly felt here. We were appreciating being dependent on devotees and having exchanges
that make us indebted to each other and fond of each other. This is what Prabhupada wanted in
his centers, and thus far we are finding here in Bombay nothing but pleasant dealings. We will be
leaving tomorrow morning at 11 AM for Mangalore to begin another leg of the adventure, but
will miss the beautiful Bengali kirtans and wonderful devotee association.

Mangalore and Udupi

Yamuna: We flew on one of the new startup Indian airlines to Mangalore on December
19, and it was memorable for all the wrong reasons. As soon as we reached altitude, the
stewardess passed out plastic cups to anyone who wanted one, and then spent the rest of the flight
walking up and down the aisles with giant beer bottles in each hand refilling the cups again and
again. By the time we arrived in Mangalore, half the passengers were drunk and raucous. When
the luggage was thrown onto an outside carousel, they dove over each other like they were in a
rugby scrum. Culturally, things have changed so much since I came in 1970—it is sad to witness.
One lesson learned—not to take any more flights in India on this pilgrimage.

Yamuna in South India

Vrindavan Reflections

Yamuna was stunned at the changes in Vrindavan’s landscape since her last visit and
frequently commented on them. Determined to interview devotees who were present in the early
70’s, she carried her recorder everywhere, and portions of those interviews are featured in earlier
chapters of this book. Yet her own recorded impressions and reflections, spoken as we rode in a
rickshaw or sat on the banks of the Yamuna, are equally poignant and revealing:

Yamuna: Now we are heading down towards Dauji temple and the Punjab National Bank
where Prabhu-pada had all of his banking done. Millions of monkeys are hanging everywhere
waiting to steal anything in sight—clothes, bags. I am hiding this tape recorder so they don’t grab
it out of my hand, and Dina is trying to save her glasses.

Keshi Ghat. I can’t even recognize that this is the Keshi Ghat I once knew. It is in
complete disrepair. I used to sit on the third step down here, and the river was flowing briskly;
now it is just a trickle of a river in the distance. You can’t go inside of Keshi Ghat itself anymore.
The building is literally falling apart.

Seva Kunj. I have just come to Seva Kunj; it has changed so much. I realized that you
can’t go to Vrindavan and see Vrindavan. You have to go Vrin-davan and have Vrindavan
revealed to you.
 On this pilgrimage, Yamuna and I stayed in the ISKCON guesthouse. Each morning we
studied Vaishnava music from a teacher working at the gurukula and afternoons were spent on
pilgrimage, attending classes or interviewing devotees. Yamuna was happy to see that Giriraja
Swami and Tamal Krishna Goswami were in Vrindavan, and we attended their VIHE classes on
the Nectar of Devotion. Yamuna was asked to assist in updating the Deity kitchen menus and also
Srila Prabhupada’s quarters:

Yamuna: I am observing the world of Vrindavan through my little portable kitchen. The
chipmunks are racing up and down the screens outside the window and monkeys are bothering
the painters and knocking over ladders in Srila Prabhupada’s courtyard garden. A very nice
devotee is in charge of Prabhupada’s quarters. I went with him through all of the glass cases and
pointed out what was what of Srila Prabhupada’s and what wasn’t. He’s a sincere man and has a
big job. Although he said that there are politics involved in getting things done here, he is very
dedicated in trying to turn Prabhupada’s quarters from a museum back into rooms so Prabhupada
can come and stay here—not come stay in a museum.
 Jaipur, Udaipur and a Special Darshan at Nathdwara
with B. G. Sharma

Our Washington DC friend Henry Schoellkopf arrived the second week of January to take
Yamuna and me to Jaipur, Udaipur and Nathdwara in Rajasthan. A gentle-hearted soul from a
prominent family (his ancestors built the first hydro-electric power plant at Niagara Falls), Henry,
an avid B. G. Sharma painting collector, wanted us to meet the famed artist in Udaipur. Each
morning during our stay in Jaipur, as the gates opened at the Govindaji temple, shouting Haribol!
Haribol!, we joyfully ran with hundreds of other worshipers to attend mangal arati before
Radha-Govindaji, the first time Yamuna had had Their darshan since 1974. We then traveled on
to Udaipur, an astonishingly beautiful city set amidst a panorama of lakes, hills and the
gravity-defying royal palaces of the Mewars. It is impossible not to be awed by the setting—the
robin’s egg blue houses of brahmanas, colorful pichwai paintings, carved stone frescoes, intricate
marble inlay work, and the blindingly bright textiles all drew the eyes and senses.

B. G. Sharma’s residence also housed a museum of his paintings on the ground floor. His
family lived on the upper floors and although he was then 70 years old, he still painted for
upwards of twelve hours a day. Yamuna was fascinated to watch him paint his exquisite
miniatures with a special brush made from one hair of a squirrel’s tail. A humble and
unpretentious man, he made a point of telling us how the squirrels were humanely caught, a few
hairs extracted, and then again released after being given prasadam.

Nathdwara or “the Gateway of Srinathji,” built around Madhavendra Puri’s Gopal Deity,
is also the home of hundreds of artists famous for their colorful pichwais and miniatures. Yamuna
had long wanted to take darshan of the Deity and B. G. Sharma graciously offered to escort and
host us. This proved to be memorable beyond any expectations. Not only had he been born in
Nathdwara of well-known artist parents, he was considered an artist laureate himself and was
received with honor by all of the temple authorities. We were given a lengthy, special darshan of
Srinathji, shown His jewels and sringar, His extensive gold and silver “toys,” and given special
maha prasadam, all because we came with Mr. Sharma. As usual, Yamuna made her way
towards the kitchens, a long list of questions to ask about cooking and offering procedures in her
hand, but the temple authorities drew the line at allowing a woman into their kitchens. This was
simply not done. Still, it was an unforgettable experience and we all left feeling blessed.
Yamuna and Henry in Jaipur

Henry and Yamuna in Jaipur

 Mayapur

While Yamuna’s reflections spoken into her little recorder are interesting and sometimes
humorous, they were only intended as exercises in observation and encompassed everything from
watching a man bathe from a spigot at a train station to the hijinks of monkeys. Excerpts from
some of them will be included on the web page accompanying this book as they give insight into
Yamuna’s joie de vivre such as her enthusiasm and joy in seeing the Lord’s energies—“Dina!
Come now! You have to see Krishna’s amazing sunset!”

We returned to Vrindavan and remained for almost a month. There are a series of
wonderful photographs of Yamuna at Vrindavan’s sacred places. She spent many hours at
Radha-Damodara Mandir, sitting on Srila Prabhupada’s veranda or before the samadhi of Rupa
Goswami. She visited Vrajavasis she had served in the 70’s such as Bhavatarini, Pishima’s dear
friend who still lived in Imli Tala, and O. B. L. Kapoor. We finally left for Mayapur on February
16 with Yamuna both reluctant to leave and looking forward to Mayapur and then Puri.

In Mayapur, Yamuna was immediately impressed with the prasadam distribution efforts.
Although we could have made other arrangements, she chose to honor the mass distribution
prasadam each day so she could write a Back to Godhead article about the experience. Devotees
efficiently served preparations on leaf plates to over 600 people using rolling buckets.

Yamuna: I met with the cooks making delicious and subtle dishes in boat-sized karais
using boat-sized paddles. I could never do what they do on a daily basis. It was just amazing. At
least nine dishes were served including one or two sweets and all of them were not too hot or
spicy. All glories to the Mayapur cooks!

Yamuna was nicely received by Trivikrama Swami, who she had served with in London,
and given a tour of Prabhupada’s nearly completed pushpa samadhi. He told an interesting story
about how he had once approached Srila Prabhupada “man-to-man” at John Lennon’s estate to
complain about Yamuna. After he had detailed his charges against her, Srila Prabhupada looked
at him with a half-smile and said, “Yes, but she cooks so nicely.” Feeling that Srila Prabhupada
had not heard him properly, he again reiterated his charges against Yamuna to which Srila
Prabhupada again said, “Yes, but she cooks so nicely.” This happened a third time with the same
result. Finally Trivikrama Swami said he understood that Srila Prabhupada was gently teaching
him not to criticize devotees. Yamuna was amused by the story as she had not heard it before.
Trivikrama Swami invited us to visit Poland when we left India, and Yamuna graciously declined
as our funds were limited. Although he mentioned something about a devotee in England making
financial arrangements so we could come, invitations which did not pan out had occurred before,
and neither of us thought any more about it.

After nearly two weeks in Mayapur, we prepared to leave one morning after mangal arati
for Calcutta and Jagannatha Puri. A few leaders had requested Yamuna to chant the mangal arati
prayers before the Deities, something a woman had not done in ISKCON’s temple there. For her
own reasons Yamuna had been uncomfortable with leading kirtan for many years, but she
reluctantly agreed—blissfully unaware of any potential controversy over a woman leading arati.
Immediately following the arati, we were whisked away in our already-packed taxi to Calcutta,
only to find out later the firestorm of controversy her leading arati had brought about. Yamuna
later reflected on the episode: “Every day they hear my voice in the temple (on the Govindam
recording). What is the difference if I chant while physically present?”

Jagannatha Puri

Like many pilgrims from the West, Yamuna and I were initially shocked at the prejudicial
attitude of many residents of Puri to Caucasians. Because we were not allowed into the
Jagannatha Mandir, we were often treated rudely or dismissively. Yet Yamuna was determined to
somehow ingratiate herself with the pandas in charge of Lord Jagannatha’s massive kitchens. She
had previously researched their procedures for worship and bhoga offerings—how Srila
Bhaktivinoda Thakur had standardized them, how Srila Prabhupada said they could serve 10,000
people on two hours’ notice, how they cooked in stacked, clay pots used only once—and she was
fascinated. Somehow Lord Jagannatha would provide, she affirmed, and then she could share her
findings with others by writing about them. Each day she would ask respected gentlemen and
even government officials for assistance, and even though she was rebuffed several times, she
remained determined. Finally, she met an aristocratic and highly respected Vaishnava, Mr.
Chaupattnaik, who was gracious and helpful, and he arranged a series of interviews for Yamuna
with one of the chief pandas, Sri Kanu Charan Puja Panda Samanth. For several days he would
come to our Guest House bearing Jagannatha prasadam and patiently answer Yamuna’s
questions. She would later say that this was the highlight of her Jagannatha Puri pilgrimage.

Yamuna: I like the point you made yesterday. Chaitanya Mahaprabhu said, “This
prasadam tastes millions and millions of times better than nectar,” and He was fully satisfied.
The hairs all over His body stood on end and incessant tears rolled from His eyes. This is what I
was reading last night. Chaitanya Mahaprabhu said, “Only by great fortune will one come by a
particle of the remnants of food offered to the Lord.” Srila Prabhupada explains that the remnants
of Jagannatha’s foods are mixed with the saliva of the Lord.

Mr. Chaupattnaik: Yes, that is why the smell comes—this aroma comes—otherwise
such aroma is not possible. When it is going from the kitchen from to Lord Jagannatha there is no
aroma, but when it is coming back there is aroma. So how is it possible? Only because of that;
otherwise it’s not possible.

Yamuna: These remnants of food that Jagannatha has eaten have turned to nectar with
His lips.

Mr. Chaupattnaik: And the pandas who do the offering can understand that—they can
see that Lord Jagannatha is eating. There are so many things that we cannot understand, but some
special things (are revealed) when they offer. Then I understand. I should get you one darshan of
Lord Jagannatha somehow or other.

Yamuna: You take this prasadam all the time, but it says in a quote from the
Caitanya-caritamrta, Antya lila, “After much prayer the demigods themselves cannot obtain even
a small portion of the remnants of Jagannatha prasadam. Only a person who has acted piously for
many, many, many births and has thus become a devotee can obtain the remnants of such food.”
This is your fortune. It is so extraordinary…. That’s why we’re so fortunate to have your
association. It is through the devotees of the Lord that we obtain the mercy, and we would not
taste this without your mercy—your kindness upon us.

Mr. Chaupattnaik: It is Jagannatha’s mercy, Srila Prabhupada’s mercy, I have no

quality.

Yamuna: No, this is Lord Krishna’s kindness. This doesn’t happen by accident. I’m very
fortunate to have your association.

Mr. Chaupattnaik: And today in the evening you can go to Gambhira. I will arrange a
rickshaw and mataji can go on the cycle. So Gambhira there is no problem. So you can see the
room of where Chaitanya Mahaprabhu stayed, you can have darshan of the Padukas.

Yamuna: Will they object if we sit and have little kirtan?

Mr. Chaupattnaik: No, no objection.

Yamuna: Because we like to sit and pray and chant in these places.

Mr. Chaupattnaik: And in case they say anything, you just tell my name.

Yamuna later wrote an inspiring article for Back to Godhead magazine based on these
interviews, and spoke about them with great appreciation through the years. She was particularly
impressed at the efforts in place to ensure cleanliness, promptness and the clear understanding
that Lord Jagannatha is the enjoyer:

Yamuna: All members of the kitchen staff begin training at age twelve after they’ve
received brahmana initiation and the sacred thread. They serve for life or until they become too
old to perform their duties. I asked Sri Samanth to state the most important principles in focusing
the mind for service to the temple Deities. He replied, “Number one, before beginning to cook
one should eat sufficiently and feel no hunger to enable mental and physical strength to reach a
maximum. And number two, while cooking for Lord Jagannatha one should constantly remember
His name, fame, pastimes, and qualities in a mood of devotion.” (BACK TO GODHEAD)

The temperature in Puri had soared by this time, so we went out on pilgrimage in the early
mornings before sunrise. Yamuna frequently commented that these holy places such as
Siddha-bakul, Haridas Thakur’s Samadhi Mandir, Bhakti Kutir of Bhaktivinoda Thakur (still
standing at the time), the Gambhira and Tota Gopinath Mandir were so spiritually potent that
they blessed anyone who took shelter of them. She took immense pleasure in chanting and
offering prayers wherever we went and was unfazed by the sometimes unfettered rudeness of
some of the pandas, preferring to bypass those places where meeting them was unavoidable. A
highlight of the Puri pilgrimage was attending the appearance celebration of Srila
Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati at the place of his birth—something we almost missed because a sign
over the door in bold letters asserted that “This is not an ISKCON temple.”

Yamuna: So we arrived at the beautiful Math, and curiously there was a sign outside that
said “This is not an ISKCON temple” with “ISKCON” highlighted in red. Puri, perhaps because
the British subjugated the Indians for so long, is extremely prejudicial, whether it is coming from
the pandas or locals. It is the first place I’ve found a complete reverse discrimination, and of
course it feels very strange. You have to rise above it as many of them no doubt did when they
felt discriminated against. We almost did not go in, but because it was such a special day, we
wanted to offer prayers and respects. There were beautiful Deities of Jagannatha, Subhadra and
Balarama on one altar and large and small Radha-Krishna on another, and then a full size murti
of Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati near the room where he was born. And over this was a beautiful
temple constructed in the Gaudiya Math style with nine domes representing the nine processes of
devotional service in a lovely ochre color with elaborate carvings and paintings on it.

So we joined in the kirtan and later there was a pushpa ceremony for everyone to offer
flowers and prayers to Bhaktisiddhanta. Then arati was offered and a beautiful, especially rich
kirtan of Yasomati Nandana was led by Bengali devotees. At the end of the kirtan was prasadam
distribution. We met an amazing woman disciple of Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati, and Dina took
her picture. She is one of the only women disciples left in Puri and reminded us of the photo of
Bhaktivinoda Thakur’s wife (Bhagavati devi). Then the sannyasis personally served us an
extraordinary fifteen course meal upstairs on the veranda. Not just the prasadam itself, but the
service attitude and respect of the sannyasis. You would have never thought we would be
received so nicely from the initial impression of the sign, but we were so moved by the mood of
humility and Vaishnava etiquette. It was all so devotional with each devotee appreciating the
service of the others. It was a very wonderful day.

Mussoorie

As the heat had become too taxing for us, Yamuna and I decided to spend the rest of our
pilgrimage at one of the former British hill stations in the Garhwal Himalayas. At an altitude of
just over 6,000 feet, it remains cool even in the midst of India’s scorching summers and is also
just above the mosquito level. Another special feature is its unsurpassed views over the Char
Dhams, Gangotri, Yamunotri, Badrinath and Kedarnath.
 However, for us Mussoorie was forever remembered for how we were protected by
Krishna from an almost certain death. Before our arrival a travel agent had referred us to a former
British agent’s house converted to a guest house on a lone ridge four miles from the town called
Cloud End. It sounded reasonable, and the agent made sure to tell us that Tom Cruise had
recently stayed there with his wife.

Yamuna: We negotiated a taxi for the exorbitant price of 150 rupees because they said it
was an old and steep road. Somehow our young driver was able to negotiate what they called a
road, but was really no more than a cut out pathway along the ridge. Cloud End sat at the end of
the ridge totally on its own—no sign, no sound but nature, no people, nothing at all but a 360
degree view of the mountains. We were anxious to get in, but our non-English speaking driver
kept pointing at a sign in Hindi on the closed gate and waving his hands. Undeterred, we opened
the gate and began walking to the main house when out of nowhere came two giant Tibetan
mastiff dogs, snarling, growling and racing toward us—still no people in sight. Somehow,
although my nature is to react to danger with my loud voice (like in San Francisco), both Dina
and I did just the opposite. Very quietly, with arms down and no eye contact with the dogs, we
both whispered “Krishna, Krishna” and turned around with these ferocious dogs snarling at our
feet and almost tiptoed back to the gate, closing it and then pacifying the taxi driver who was
hysterical by this time. Truly, I thought it was all over—that we would be killed.

We checked into a hotel and about three hours later the man who owned Cloud End came
to meet us, a look of shock on his face. He had heard what happened from the taxi company, and
the first thing he said to us was “I can’t believe you are alive!” He said there was a lot of thievery
in their remote location, and the dogs are trained to kill and had killed before. He said if we had
made any quick movements, loud noises or made eye contact with them, they would have
attacked. He even said that “your Krishna certainly protected you,” and apologized because he
had had to go to Dehradun while his wife was having cancer treatment. Yes, we also felt
Krishna’s protection and it was an unforgettable beginning to our Mussoorie visit.
 We did spend a peaceful few weeks in Mussoorie until our flight left for England. I rented
a motor scooter and we went to the Yamuna River and took bath in her clear and clean waters.
We read Caitanya-caritamrta, and Yamuna worked on recipes and made notes on her interviews
and realizations. Time passed quickly and then our long and magical India pilgrimage came to an
end.

A Surprise Visit to the Blissful Poland Yatra

Arriving in London, Yamuna and I spent a few days at Bhaktivedanta Manor with old and
new friends. Then, unexpectedly, we were contacted by a gentleman named Hasmukh Thakur
who enthusiastically invited us to perform sankirtan in Poland, just as Trivikrama Swami had
promised in Mayapur.

Yamuna: He was a little bit enthusiastic, and I originally thought he would be Polish, but
he is in fact an Indian gentleman who knew Trivikrama Swami. In England he came to two of my
lectures and one of Dina’s, and then invited us to a program at his house with his family, so
somehow we ended up on a Lot flight from London to Krakow leaving April 29th.

Poland at the time of our visit had been independent of Soviet domination for a mere five
years, and physically little had changed. The long communist rule had left a colorless landscape
and beleaguered populace who now saw opportunities for positive change on the horizon. Yet
change would be slow in coming, and the impressions of the communist era were written on the
weary expressions of people everywhere. Still, in its democratic infancy, many Poles opened
their hearts and minds to new economic and spiritual possibilities, and at the time of our visit in
1994, they were openly enthusiastic about Krishna Consciousness, seeing it as a natural
progression from their Roman Catholic origins.
 Yamuna and I were warmly welcomed by the Krakow devotees and enjoyed enthusiastic
classes and kirtans at the temple overseen by Trivikrama Swami. One dramatic scene which
illuminated the impact of Krishna Consciousness on the Polish people occurred when Yamuna
and I walked from our quarters in saris to the morning program. On a bench were three men, two
upright and one stretched out on the ground—all passed out from intoxication. As we walked by
quietly chanting japa, the one on the ground cocked an eye open at us and then said,
“Krisssssshhhhhnaaa!” We were stunned and never forgot the message of that dramatic scene. By
seeing the devotees coming and going, even in his intoxicated state, he associated us with the
Holy Name.

Shortly thereafter, we were taken to join Indradyumna Swami’s traveling sankirtan party
in the south of Poland. We had heard glimmers of how impressive and ecstatic his budding
program was, but truthfully had no idea what it actually entailed.

Yamuna: Indradyumna Swami’s base was in a kind of a holiday resort camp, all beautiful
lawns and surrounded by forests and in a gardening area our lovely compound with apartments
and then a bathroom in each building. We were given a building practically all our own with a
picture of Prabhupada cooking in the kitchen and a plant. Devotees tried to make it very nice, and
they were all down at the temple that Indradyumna Swami had built—a beautiful carved wooden
temple for the most extraordinarily beautiful Deities. There’s a Nrsimhadeva Deity with all kinds
of weapons, bows and arrows, and Laksmi devi sits on His lap on a beautiful throne. Then there
are different shilas Indradyumna Swami obtained on pilgrimages to India, and a very fat-cheeked,
light-colored, Govardhan shila with little smile on His face. The whole scene just vibrated with
enthusiasm and devotion. It was stunning.

We traveled on sankirtan with Indradyumna Swami’s party for about ten unforgettable
days—each surpassing the previous day in ecstatic kirtan, preaching and amazing plays. Yamuna
often said that Indradyumna Swami was like a pied piper with a gentle style of preaching and
long, ecstatic street sankirtan which could not fail to attract the populace. We had people of all
ages following our harinam programs and in each city a hall or other site was booked for an
evening festive program of plays and kirtan.

Yamuna: The first evening program we attended was just amazing. There was a little
sankirtan in the town center when we got there which was wonderful and when the program
started, Dina and I sat in the audience so that we could realize the visuals of it. They put up some
flags and festoons from Puri, then a kirtan began with all the devotees on the stage sitting
swaying back and forth in rhythm to the male singers. Two back-up singers, a man and woman,
danced and sang with microphones and two gorgeous young girls danced in beautiful unison with
the devotees in the background. There was an astonishing situation in front of where Dina and I
were sitting where a young boy of about 12 with Down’s syndrome sat with his father or
grandfather in his late 60s, and as the evening went on the boy started clapping, then he started
raising his hands in the air, waving them back and forth. And then to no avail the father tried to
hold him down by his trousers, but the boy began to jump up and down in his chair. Finally a
devotee girl from the stage picked him up onto the stage and danced back and forth with him.
Everyone was so touched by that, it literally brought tears to our eyes. After the kirtan, they
immediately launched into a Ramayana play with wonderful costumes which was narrated in
Polish. Then after a lecture on the Holy Name by Indradyumna Swami—so Krishna Conscious,
inviting, easy, and simple—an enthusiastic kirtan followed that pulled everyone into it. The
audience comprised people from ages seven to ninety-seven there; literally the whole village
turned out to come for this festival. And then after that a prasadam feast was served of sun-fried
bread sticks, caraway breadsticks and a sumptuous, rich vegetable in sour cream, some little
laddus and a drink. This scenario was played out in several towns during our stay.
 Yamuna on far right

One day the tour bus stopped in the famous city of Częstochowa, home of Poland’s most
famous religious shrine containing the Black Madonna of Częstochowa. Although the origins of
the famous scarred painting of the Madonna and child are apocryphal, worshipers have attributed
thousands of cures to her over the centuries, and the walls of the cathedral are literally covered
with crutches, braces and trinkets bearing images of whatever organ was cured. We were amazed
to see that she is dressed each day with various sets of jewelry and crowns. We joined another
ecstatic sankirtan in the streets, enthusiastically chanting and dancing for hours as though we
were in our first youth again. It was all magical and we were reluctant to leave.

Although we never returned to Poland again, that experience always remained dear to our
hearts. An interesting postscript happened during Yamuna devi’s immersion ceremony when
Indradyumna Swami, who was not intending to be in Vrindavan that day, somehow found
himself at Keshi Ghat at the start of the ceremony. He joined Radhanath Swami, Jananivasa
Prabhu and myself in interring her ashes in the Yamuna, and briefly turned to me and said that he
had never forgot our time with him in Poland. It was a poignant moment because we felt the
same.

A Final Visit to Paris and Return to the United States

After returning to England, Yamuna and I spent a few days in France with our godsister
Mondakini and her family who took us on tours all over Paris and its environs. Yamuna held a
special feeling for Mondakini as she was one of the young brahmacharinis who joined in London
in 1969. She was later sent by Srila Prabhupada to Russia bringing in banned Krishna Conscious
literature at great risk to herself.

Mondakini devi: One time I had a very terrible difficulty in my life, and it was Yamuna
that opened my mind. I was feeling so terrible at this time but Yamuna, just by simple words and
by her presence, made everything alright. She was in Paris with Dina and it was a terrible time
for me. I thought my relationship with Srila Prabhupada might be shattered for a particular
reason, but she made the right connection for me again with Srila Prabhupada—she made me
peaceful. She helped me to understand that sometimes things are very difficult but we just have to
carry on. It was very mystical actually. Yamuna and Dina were both sannyasis without any
benefits, more renounced than most, and always going deeper and deeper into devotional service,
introspective and honest. When [Yamuna] first came, we were working, and she and Dina were
waiting in the stairwell for us for so long, but she was so gracious and patient. We had a little dog
called Haribol, and he made a lot of advancement because he ate Yamuna’s socks!

Mondakini devi and daughter in center

At the end of May, Yamuna and I returned to Washington DC, both of us spiritually
exhilarated but exhausted from traveling. With no fixed residence, we graciously accepted Henry
Schoellkopf’s offer of what we thought would be a temporary stay at his home, but what turned
out to be nearly two blissful years.

A Generational Harmony in Washington DC

Henry Schoellkopf’s expansive Washington home sits a mere stone’s throw from both the
Washington Cathedral and the Vice Presidential mansion on Massachusetts Avenue. Henry has
always taken pleasure in hosting devotees and very graciously made a sunny room into a temple
for Radha-Banabehari—a temple room that remains unchanged to this day. Yamuna and I settled
back into our Deity regulation and began outreach programs—many of them organized among
Henry’s friends. At this time, he was enthusiastic about the young “Straight Edge” devotee
groups Shelter and 108, and as they visited often, Yamuna enjoyed cooking for them. She found
an immediate connection and empathy with the youth, who also reciprocated with her in the same
way. Yamuna’s compassion for and encouragement of young devotees would remain an
important focus for the remainder of her life.
 Yamuna: Honestly, I couldn’t relate to the music and the anger that seemed to underpin
it, but the boys were intelligent, gentle and enthusiastic about spiritual life. Some of them loved
cooking and asked many questions and of course, they were interested in the early days with
George and the Beatles. They were just good company.

The straight edge groups at Henry’s

By this time, Yamuna and I had both determined to live the remainder of our lives in
uncompromising devotional service, yet our desire to do this did not harmonize with the financial
realities facing us. We wanted to simplify our lives—to understand by realization Srila
Prabhupada’s instruction to us in 1976:

Remain a humble program. In bhakti there is no grotesque program. A humble program is

better. We are doing all these grotesque programs to allure the masses. My Guru Maharaja used
to say that no one hears from a person coming from a humble, simple life. You remain always
very humble.

—LETTER TO YAMUNA AND DINATARINI, JAN. 13, 1976

In an effort to increase our savings for this eventuality, Yamuna wrote a cookbook for
Chronicle Books called The Vegetarian Table: India. Hers was one of a series on vegetarian
cuisines of the world, and she began testing recipes and writing with all of the precision and care
she took with each of her endeavors. A special attraction for Yamuna was that she would receive
a lump sum payment rather than royalties, and she would not be required to tour to promote the
book. Published in 1997, the book is concise, practical and eloquent—a true reflection of
Yamuna’s own nature.
 While we resided at Henry’s, Yamuna and I again met our friend Kim Waters Murray,
and with two other women, Radhika and Lita, began regular bhajan sessions chanting the prayers
of Bhaktivinoda Thakur. Each of the women had outstanding voices, and the sweetness of those
bhajans infused Yamuna with the desire to enthuse others with the spiritual potency and eternal
relevance of his prayers. Later, Kim and her partner Hans formed a well-received group called
Rasa and recorded some of Bhaktivinoda Thakur’s songs.

A Fortunate Meeting with Bhakti-tirtha Swami — “We

Have Known Each Other Before”

One morning, as we turned on the television to place a video in to play, we saw an

effulgent African-American man dressed in the saffron robes of a sannyasi, but wearing an
African honorary chieftain headdress, speaking eloquently about Krishna on a local television
station. We watched, stunned, at the simple yet poignant presentation, noted the number on the
bottom of the screen for something called IFAST, and called Henry in to ask if he knew him.
“Yes, that is Bhakti-tirtha Swami, and he has come here before. We can invite him to lunch.”
Yamuna had not personally known Bhakti-tirtha Swami before, and although I had not
recognized him on the television, I briefly knew him in my ISKCON infancy as Ghanashyam das.
The next day, Yamuna served lunch to Bhakti-tirtha Swami, along with Bhakti-caru Swami, at
Henry’s, and the following day, we were invited to speak to the devotees of IFAST at their
temple near Capitol Hill in Washington DC. Over the course of the next two years, Yamuna and I
established a meaningful, deep and loving relationship with Bhakti-tirtha Swami and the devotees
under his care. We attended many of their programs and were astonished at the enthusiasm,
determination and humble Vaishnava behavior they consistently exhibited. When asked what
distinguished these devotees to her, Yamuna consistently replied that it was the training in
Vaishnava etiquette, humility and the importance of community—all carefully and assiduously
instilled by Bhakti-tirtha Swami. On our first visit, Yamuna and I were overwhelmed by the
warm reception which culminated in their gentle anesthesiologist president Madhvacarya das
presenting us with a check for $108.00 when we left. Although we placed the check on the altar
on our way out, we were so touched by the gesture. This was the excellence of Bhakti-tirtha
Swami’s preaching and example. Most of the members were professionals—well-established in
the community, and their commitment to the process of Krishna Consciousness expanded through
his commitment to them. For Yamuna and me, it was wonderful and life-changing to bear witness
to the efficacy of the process of Krishna Consciousness when presented with such conviction and
love.

During one of our first visits, when Yamuna was asked to speak, she took the devotees on
a journey into one day in the life of Srila Prabhupada. Her entire talk will be available on the web
page, but selections are included here:

Yamuna: It is so wonderful to be back here again. Ever since I came here the last time, I
have been thinking about this place, and talking to people about this place and the wonderful
atmosphere here.

Then by Krishna’s arrangement, [Bhakti-tirtha Swami] came to lunch one day at Henry’s
house. So we were able to meet with him once again, and hear some of his mature, profound
realizations on Srila Prabhupada’s movement, how best to relish Srila Prabhupada’s movement,
and how best to share that with others. As he was speaking this morning in his short introduction
after our kirtan, I was reflecting on the fact that you can taste Krishna Consciousness at every
step, at every moment, at every day that you practice Krishna Consciousness.

Just like most of you who are here today, may have come because of the association of
Bhakti-tirtha Swami. He is the person who allowed you to develop the taste for pursuing Krishna
Consciousness every day in your own home, and for your own life.
 Bhakti-tirtha Swami: Now we have the diaries and the biographies, and the conversation
books, and of course we have so many other books. But that is one flavor. But another flavor is
being in the presence of the pure devotee and to receive his smile, to receive his chastisement, to
receive his glance, to receive his encouragement and to give those transcendental queues.

And sometimes we feel that that aspect is really kind of missing in the movement. As we
are moving more and more into the scientific, logical age—the information age actually—there is
so much tendency, we are so absorbed in the data, we are so much absorbed in the form of the
manpower, and the money and the buildings and so many creditors and what not, this mortgage
and that mortgage, that we sometimes forget the most basic thing, the most important commodity,
and that is the devotees themselves.

Vaishnavas themselves are the greatest wealth that we have. That is our greatest treasure,
to somehow be able to experience more of the love that is natural in their association if we allow
it to come out. And if that love is there, then so many other problems just naturally eradicate.
This love is so powerful, so potent. It has such ability to allow Krishna to, and more Divine
intervention to take place. And we see how difficult it is for people to cope that most of our
devotees are working eight, nine hours a day. And we are requesting very much that they
remember Krishna even more and more. Even at their jobs, that they make their job a place where
they will be able to glorify the Lord.

Yamuna: In 1970, I had the first inkling that I wasn’t going to always have a great deal of
access to Srila Prabhupada, then more or less unlimited. And at that point I asked him a question.
I said, “Srila Prabhupada, how much time did you actually have with your Spiritual Master?”
And immediately, before a breath went by, he said, “Since I met my Spiritual Master in 1922, I
have never been away from him, not even for one second.” So what does that mean? So this is
my credo. This is our credo. From the day you walk into this door and you hear and you see and
you feel, and you begin to worship the lotus feet of your Spiritual Master, until the day that you
go to your grave, the relationship will increase and sweeten, and you will taste more and more
and more what it means to be a servant of the Spiritual Master. So we are exploring this on all
levels. And now you have had the great opulence of having [your Spiritual Master’s] physical
presence on the planet. But all of this will be in preparation for after.
 And even now he may be taking on so many more responsibilities that will carry him to
other places physically much more than he is now. So maybe you have had the best of times.
Maybe you had these years that you have had with him now; and maybe these are the good old
days. Because you will see that it is always evolving, but nonetheless your relationship will do
nothing but increase and intensify…. But I would take advantage. Just treasure these moments,
and do not be fearful…. You just want to grab onto that moment and take advantage of the
presence of your Spiritual Master’s association…. And to take advantage of his presence, we
want to be able to have a dialogue, and the quality of the outcome is determined by the quality of
the dialogue. So the better we make our dialogue, the more you will get out of it.

Devotee: Hare Krishna. This is a great pleasure to meet you. I have been very fortunate,
because I have had the association of (devotees) in Detroit, and I have noticed that all of you have
a certain aura of being very, very peaceful and compassionate towards the living entities. I can’t
really explain the energy that I have gotten from all of you. There is so much love; it is so
amazing.

Yamuna: Once I asked Srila Prabhupada a similar question. I said, “Srila Prabhupada,
I’ve seen a picture of you and your Guru Maharaja, and you are both sitting in the exact same
pose.” And that pose was like this—both Srila Bhaktisiddhanta’s and Srila Prabhupada’s arms
were on the desk, and they are writing on the desk and are both looking up. It wasn’t a pose, but
somebody caught them that way in the picture. So I said, “I have seen you in this same pose, and
you seem to reflect so much of the energy” (I think I used the word aura). And Prabhupada said,
“He is the gold, and I am the iron.” And I always say that I am not even on the metal scale.
Because the thing is, it is simply an attempt to understand what the word compassion is. But
certainly anyone who gives their life and soul to living Krishna Consciousness and sharing it with
others, then naturally compassion is a part of their character, and the more they share, generally
the more compassion you will see exhibited in their nature. And I feel this very strongly with
Bhakti-tirtha Swami. You feel his compassion so much because he is there with you day by day,
step by step. Even when he is not here physically, you feel his presence here. That’s compassion.
That’s when you really see the compassion—when a person has sacrificed everything and wants
to share Krishna Consciousness as a preacher, realizing the importance of distributing Krishna
Consciousness. And they are willing to take the responsibility of another person’s spiritual life.
Imagine the compassion that is involved in this. So there are many shades and meanings of what
compassionate means, but to me this is the definition of compassion. It means complete
selflessness—that they are really only interested in giving to others, taking on so much
responsibility, so many headaches. But they don’t see it that way. So that is compassion.

Bhakti-tirtha Swami: You can tell that they are Prabhupada kripas. They are the mercy
of their Spiritual Master. When a disciple is attentive to their Guru, then their Guru’s blessings
and the Guru’s energy comes. You can see this as soon as they walked in; it is like Vaikuntha
angels coming into the arena.

Yamuna and Bhakti-tirtha Swami in Alachua, 1996

Yamuna and I retained a deep and pervasive love and appreciation for Bhakti-tirtha
Swami which continued to grow through the years despite our having little of his physical
association. Whenever we spoke he would say that our physical proximity is not important
because we have known each other in past lifetimes and are deeply connected. He was such an
extraordinary preacher and compassionate Vaishnava that when he passed on and the tributes
came in, so many devotees said that he had told them the same thing. For Yamuna and me, this
was a perfect eulogy and spoke more about him than volumes could. Yamuna expressed the
following at his memorial service:

Yamuna: We are all looking for people in our lives that are present when you are talking
to them. That are right there in front of you, and when you speak to them, they connect with you,
because, they are not only listening empathetically, but they are listening because they want to
hear what you have to say—they want an exchange with you in Krishna Consciousness. And we
are looking for not only that, but we are looking for someone who is more advanced than we are.
Who can bring us to a higher level of spiritual consciousness. That is the prayer of all devotees.
So in the case of Bhakti- tirtha Maharaja, he was one of those devotees who was so fixed up from
a previous birth, that when he took to Krishna Consciousness, he went very quickly and very
deeply into it. And if you were to take the Siksamrta that the BBT published, and go through all
the different categories that were important to Srila Prabhupada, you could look and see that in
every one of those categories, Srila Bhakti-tirtha Maharaja helped in an immense way to improve
or address them—to take the weakest link, perhaps address it, and take the strongest link and pull
it upward—closer to Krishna.

So one of those things was his desire for community development—that within every
community there is so much diversity. And he took this theme, unity in diversity, and really
helped the devotees to come to understand how we can access unity, and how we can decrease
the diversity. Take the diversity; how do we avoid the pitfalls of separatism and fault finding? He
addressed that by writing books on leadership. He wrote three extraordinary books on spiritual
leadership. In my travels when in Florida, I was at an Institute and the daughter of Martin Luther
King was also there. She was a Christian preacher, and once I just happened to pull out
Bhakti-tirtha Swami’s book on spiritual leadership, volume 2, and right there she pulled a
dog-eared copy of the same book out of her book bag with all of these pages turned down, and
yellow lettering everywhere, and she said, “I love this book. This man has done so much to
inspire me and my entire congregation.” So you’d come across people like this, appreciating him
from many different fields, not only from the devotee community.

Indrani devi: Once Yamuna invited Bhakti-tirtha Swami and all the devotees from
IFAST to a program and dinner at the home of Bhakta Henry. I felt honored and humbled
knowing that the world famous author, cook, and devotee, Yamuna Devi, was in the kitchen
cooking for us and serving us. After dinner we sat in the temple room talking. I remember
Yamuna’s sparkling eyes, charming laughter, and that same loving energy that touched me and
everyone else in the room. As we left her company that evening, she gave each of us a picture of
her Deities, Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari. I still have that photo on my altar…. Yamuna was love
personified. And she helped me and so many others to experience that love. After all, that is what
Krishna Consciousness is about: love of Krishna. But we have to experience that love in our daily
lives in order to long for it on the transcendental level. I think of Yamuna as Lord Krishna and
Srila Prabhupada’s agent to give us that all-important experience. This service she accomplished
not so much through her words as through the love she expressed in her actions.
 On the Road Again — A Search for Simple Living and
High Thinking

During the two years Yamuna and I were based at Bhakta Henry’s home, we also
frequently traveled, either to research possible places to settle in a rural community or on
teaching or other engagements. In 1995 we went again to Europe for the anniversary of
Bhaktivedanta Manor and continued on to Switzerland for a job Yamuna had accepted to cater a
bank opening. We also drove across the United States twice during that time, but could not settle
on a move that would harmonize our service goals with our financial constraints. Yamuna taught
again at the Omega Academy in New York and continued writing for the Washington Post and
other publications while working on the Chronicle cookbook. In July 1996 she gave a seminar on
women’s spirituality at the Washington Cathedral and held many unforgettable dinners and
festivals in Henry’s home. He recently sent me a ten page program honoring the Appearance of
Radha-Banabehari on December 10, 1995. In her usual meticulous way, she included a precise
program with timing, a two-page history of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari, the Guru Vandanam
prayers on a separate page, a calligraphed page containing the full menu, and the Gurvastakam
prayers (as the day also honors the Disappearance of Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur).
 In early 1997, Yamuna was invited to establish a cooking school in Washington State.
Although this was not the direction we had been seeking in our devotional lives, the opportunity
for preaching seemed too important to pass up. However, it was not meant to be, and we found
ourselves living close to the Canadian border while still searching for a rural devotee community.
We had received invitations to visit the off-the-grid community of Saranagati near Ashcroft,
British Columbia, a four-hour drive from us and as rural as you can get, and decided to go see it
and meet the residents. It would become our home for the next twelve years.

Yamuna in London
 O Most Revered Spiritual Master, wherever you take me by your desire, let me learn
tolerance, acceptance and humility. My constant and urgent prayer is that I may be of service to
your servants, and that I may someday grow from the challenges on the path of devotional
service. This is my fervent hope and heartfelt wish.

At the Washington State cooking school

 CHAPTER 13

Seeing the Krishna Magic at Banabehari Mandir

SARANAGATI 1998-2011
 Krishna is present everywhere. So this is magic. Why don’t you see Krishna’s magic? …
Poor heart, poor magic. See the real magic. If you want to see magic, see Krishna’s magic…. Be
captivated by the magic Krishna has shown.

—MORNING WALK, DEC. 5, 1976

THE “KRISHNA MAGIC” frequently referenced in Yamuna’s talks and exchanges often
related to how strongly she felt the importance of endowing future generations with Krishna
bhakti, as Srila Prabhupada had so selflessly endowed us. She had an uncanny ability to find the
tiniest spark of interest and, with nurturing, patience and love, ignite the fire of devotion within
the hearts of others. By applying the cooking metaphor we have previously used, this chapter
expands on the principle of “Giving the Gift of Bhakti to Others” through the reflections and
personal memories of some of the devotees whose spiritual lives became indelibly changed by
Yamuna’s association. She was honored to be connected to the lineage of great Acharyas in the
line of Lord Chaitanya and encouraged the youth to appreciate the importance of Vaishnava
continuity through disciplic succession. Srila Prabhupada had earlier encouraged Yamuna to “just
see; just see” by diving into the blissful ocean of devotional practice so carefully preserved and
passed down by the previous Acharyas to himself and from Srila Prabhupada to his students.
When Yamuna witnessed youthful devotees becoming serious in their devotional lives, as they
feelingly reveal in these pages, she would often become emotional by observing this living
process of bhakti in action. For Yamuna, that was the essence of Krishna’s magic.

The Idealistic Attraction of Saranagati Village in British

Columbia

With both the desire and conviction to someday build a temple and ashram for Sri Sri
Radha-Banabehari, Yamuna and I studied books and watched how-to carpentry shows on
television and video. Of course, the irony of those productions is that they are just
that—productions; and the immaculately clean carpenters who build a kitchen, outbuilding or
cabin in a half-hour lull the do-it-yourselfers like us into thinking that the endeavor will be easy,
trouble free and cost effective. Not so—as our sore backs, cut-up and calloused hands and empty
pockets attested to when we finally fulfilled our cherished goal at Saranagati Village.

“Who Would Want to Live Here?”

At the invitation of Bala Krishna das and his wife Harilila, Yamuna devi first drove up to
Saranagati Village in British Columbia during the summer of 1998. Entering Canada from
anywhere in Western Washington, you drive east on the TransCanada Highway, which then turns
north at Hope. The drive from Hope to Lytton is considered one of the most scenic and beautiful
in North America, with its sheer-faced, snow-topped mountains, plunging waterfalls and the
rushing Fraser and Thompson rivers. But topographically, everything changes after Lytton, and
the high desert landscape takes on a barren, one-dimensional look, with few trees and little
attraction. As Yamuna drove toward the entrance to Saranagati Village, she later related that she
almost turned back, thinking, “Who would want to live here?” Yet she forged on, turning onto a
dirt road which led four miles up into a surprisingly picturesque and pristine valley surrounded by
Ponderosa pine and fir forests, which showcased a large lake at its center and a smaller lake on its
southern fringe.

Venables Valley viewed from nearby mountain peak

Saranagati north end

The 1,600 acres of the Venables Valley was purchased by the Vancouver ISKCON
temple as its rural satellite program in 1982 and renamed Saranagati Village. Later, a corporation
was formed, and shares offered for sale to those who were dedicated to following the path of
Krishna Consciousness and were willing to explore simple living and high thinking totally off the
grid. Yamuna was at once enchanted by Saranagati Village, and when she returned to
Washington, she said, “You can just feel the Holy Name vibrating throughout the valley.” That
was enough for me. We purchased a share in August 1998, and in September rented a small
house in Ashcroft, a nearby town. Yamuna immediately began meticulously planning an eco
straw bale Vastu-designed ashram that would not only conform to rigid Vastu specifications, but
would also pass the eagle-eyed BC Building Inspectors, who at the time had never heard of a
straw bale house built to code. One of our first duties was purchasing the building-grade straw
bales from a farm in Alberta whose wheat was grown, harvested, baled and dried specifically for
use in building.

The High Cost of Simple Living

We chose a five-acre plot at the northernmost border of Saranagati Village and hired a
draftsman who had experience with straw bale construction. We had previously visited two straw
bale houses in the United States, and Yamuna was immovable on any other structural
possibilities. She was equally determined to hire a professional Vastu architect, and used her
persuasive abilities to convince a famous Maharishi Institute Vastu architect in Iowa to charge
$1,500 rather than his usual $15,000 for the work. However, as we found to our dismay,
harmonizing the concepts of eco straw bale construction with Vastu architecture proved to be a
mammoth challenge. Yet Yamuna’s “mantra” throughout the process was that the ashram,
initially called Bhakti Kutir, should combine all of the elements of spiritual auspiciousness, using
natural and sustainable building materials. Yamuna wrote of the concept to several friends:

Yamuna: Vastu, one of the sixty-four Vaishnava arts, is auspicious architecture. It is both
an art and a science which addresses site orientation, proportion of structures and placement. The
blueprint for these calculations rests on the Jyotish astrological chart of the building’s
caretaker-residents … Building with non-toxic materials is important to Vaishnava thought and
practice—go brahmana hitaya cha. Natural materials used in construction contain one to five of
the elements created by Lord Brahma—earth, air, water, fire and ether/consciousness. Our
Vastu-sustainable-eco building project is sited to face east toward the rising sun. The direction,
east, is good for growth, knowledge, health, happiness, and spiritual strength. As the first rays of
the morning sun peek over the horizon, they filter through tulasi’s stambha and then enter the
front of the structure.

The next hurdle was convincing the TNRD (our local district) Building Inspectors to
approve the design plans. We ended up smothering them with volumes of paper on the legitimacy
of straw bale construction. The simple act of fortifying the building enough to satisfy the
inspectors added at least 25% to the cost of the project, which we could ill afford. Skeptical and
dismissive at first (“Oh, you want to build a three-little-pigs’ house!”), the inspectors came to the
property no less than ten times, and on the last inspection, the first skeptical inspector
enthusiastically posited, “I love this house!”

Our Vastu architect chose May 27, 1999, at 12:27 AM as the most auspicious time and
day for the cornerstone-laying ceremony. Unfortunately, we needed to be in by October, so we
circumvented that problem by first having the land surveyed and leveled—no simple task,
because a perfectly square parcel was required for the Vastu specifications. Fortunately, two
wonderful young Saranagati residents, Jaisacinandana, a multi-talented young man who included
surveying among his skills, and his very sweet and shy younger sister, Radhakunda, offered to
help.

Radhakunda devi: Jai asked me to help him, so we went out to their land, and with a
really old-fashioned compass and chalk line, we tried our best to find the exact coordinates. I
remember spending hours out there doing it over and over to get it right, because we were so
nervous about making sure it was as perfect as we could get it. Every time Jai would ask me, “Is
the line right at the mark?” or “Is the line straight?” I would become so nervous and double check
it myself, thinking that if their house was off it would be all my fault. Finally, when we were
done, Yamuna came up and told us how incredibly grateful she was for our service—that this was
the first service anyone had done for Radha-Banabehari Mandir, and she was so impressed and
pleased with our (mostly Jai’s) expertise and dedication. That was really one of the first
interactions I had with her, and I remember feeling like I had just done the most wonderful thing
of my life—like if that was the only thing I had ever done, my life was useful. I remember being
so impressed and swept up in her affection and sweetness. She was the first person who I felt was
truly genuine and real—who actually appreciated any little service that we did for her. I
remember feeling so proud of Jai and myself for being able to do some service. I think it was the
first time I felt the real value of doing service for a Vaishnava and Krishna. I also remember
feeling so wonderful and special because I knew and felt that Yamuna was the kind of person
who would keep us in a special place in her heart just because of that tiny service that we did for
her. I think it was my first glimpse into the incredible world of Vaishnava seva, although at the
time I did not quite understand it at all, but just felt so good about it.

We next laid over 500 feet of water lines and completed two outbuildings and a root
cellar. Then, at just after midnight on May 27, with most of the community members gathered,
including Yamuna’s sister, Janaki, and her dear friend Barb from Oregon, the cornerstone
sacrifice for Banabehari Mandir was held amidst ecstatic chanting of the Holy Names and a
glorious, green-twinkling aurora borealis overhead.

Radhakunda devi: The cornerstone-laying ceremony was another real eye opener and
culture change for me. It was at midnight, as that was the most auspicious time, and they had this
huge hole dug on their land. Most of the devotees were there, and Yamuna sang the Samsara
prayers in the evening (midnight) melody, then the kirtan continued as Dina placed the objects
inside, and the ceremony continued. We had the most amazing midnight feast—all cooked by
Yamuna and Janaki and served by Yamuna, Janaki and Dina.

A Joyful Crew Face an Endless Stream of Obstacles

A core team of four workers comprised our construction crew—Rasaraja das, a dedicated
Italian devotee, dear friend, excellent carpenter and inspiring Vaishnava; Vrajananda das, a
hard-working, ever-smiling and optimistic devotee; Yamuna devi and myself. None of us had any
straw bale construction experience, but each was filled with enthusiasm and the necessary can-do
attitude to see the process through to its finish. This was extremely fortunate because from its
very inception, obstacles stacked upon one another like bricks on a building.

Rasaraja das: After Yamuna and Dina asked me and Vrajananda to build their straw bale
house, I was in terrible anxiety, but I didn’t show it to them because I was thinking I needed some
kind of work. But I didn’t have any experience in building a post-and-beam house with straw
bales. In my mind I was thinking, “How can I build this? Will everything collapse?” So Yamuna
and Dina would talk about the project, but my mind was filled with a kind of panic and anxiety
that went on until I realized I had to be honest about my fears. I approached Yamuna and Dina
and said, “I’m not sure we can build this house; it’s above our skills.” And then Yamuna said in a
very quiet and soft voice, “Oh, don’t worry, Krishna will help us to do everything.” I remember it
was so quiet, so nice and so natural that in an instant all my anxieties just disappeared. I had
never experienced anything like that. All my worries just disappeared, and then an enthusiasm
came that “Yes, I can do it. Krishna will help me do this.” These impressions come from
someone living an advanced spiritual life. It was such a profound experience—very short, but
very powerful.
 After completing the foundation at double the anticipated cost, we hired another devotee
to pour an adobe floor. Unfortunately, the adobe crumbled, and the floor heaved up toxic plumes
of dust with each footstep. For the next year until we were able to resurface it, the floor was
covered with flattened cardboard boxes.

When the post-and-beam supports were nearing completion, we contacted the Alberta
farm to deliver our already-purchased straw bales and received in reply a six-page letter from an
Alberta law firm informing us that the farm had become bankrupt. Five pages of the letter listed
its creditors in order of amount owed, and our $1,500 was dutifully noted on page four. When we
called the lawyers, we were bluntly told that although the bales were probably still on the
bankrupt property, we could forget about both the bales and the money. Frantic, we placed a
last-ditch call to the first number on the list of creditors—a major hardware store in Alberta—told
them of our plight (it would have been impossible to find other bales on short notice), and they
were so touched by our story that they sent one of their own big rigs to deliver our bales all the
way from Alberta at their own expense—a distance of over 1,100 miles round trip. We were
overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers and mercy of the Lord, and all of us literally whooped
with loud shouts of “Haribol! Haribol!” when the truck arrived.
 Rasaraja das: One thing that struck me from the very beginning was that Yamuna never
said, “We are building my home.” In my recollection, she always said that this will be the home
of Radha-Banabehari. I never paid attention to this until recently, like so many other special
characteristics of her personality.

The Surreal Problem of Water or the Lack Thereof

Pictures taken of our joyful crew during the building of Banabehari Mandir invariably
show Yamuna and I covered in stucco, paint, dirt, plaster and straw. What they don’t show are
our numerous injuries, which were a natural by-product of the building process. Yamuna, while
still grappling with her thyroid issues and unable to lose weight despite eating little, was
irrepressible, working 18-hour days with amazing stamina. There was no challenge she did not
meet with equanimity, and she worked longer hours than any of us. When she decided to build a
rock wall, she scoped out the valley, filled the truck bed with fifty-pound rocks, then unloaded
them and painstakingly built the wall. She spent weeks spreading wheelbarrows of heavy gravel,
and mixed and poured concrete—often while chanting the maha-mantra in a loud voice which
resounded throughout the valley, or spontaneously calling out “Krishna! Krishna!”

Visakha, Dina and Yamuna

However, of all the challenges we faced in the building process, accessing a source of
water was the most trying. Initially we drilled two wells with a small, hand-held drill. The
procedure required digging a large pit that held a special mud and water slurry that was then
pumped into the well hole as the drill rotated. One day two immaculately-dressed leaders of the
local native Indian tribe came, bearing gifts of painted rocks to formally welcome us to the
valley. I was operating the makeshift drill in my much-stained work clothes, and Yamuna stood
below. To our horrified disbelief, the slurry hose broke off as the drill still turned, throwing
gallons of gray mud cascading across the bodies and faces of all of us as it whipped around. By
the time I was able to turn off the pump, we all just stared in stunned disbelief at each other while
covered head-to-toe in mud. Despite our profuse apologies, the men simply turned around in as
dignified a manner as possible and walked away. This was one of our memorable surreal building
moments.

After weeks of intensive and difficult drilling with no results, we ran PVC pipe in six-foot
trenches from the Venables Creek bordering the east side of our property to a holding tank fifty
feet above the ashram and pumped water from the stream using a generator. The water was then
gravity-fed to the ashram and to a hydrant for outside watering. This system worked well
initially, but after the second year, the creek dried up for what we were told was the first time
ever recorded. This forced us to eventually bring in professional well-drillers, who drilled 520
feet and charged us $8,000 to reach nothing but native jade. Finally we began manually filling a
500-gallon water tank in our truck bed and pumping it into the holding tank. In 2008, due to the
efforts and hard work of Bala Krishna das and others, along with a grant from the government,
the Venables Creek began flowing again.

A Moving-In Yajna and Yamuna’s Tree of Gratitude

Although they progressively grew milder over the years, the first winters at Saranagati
were especially long and harsh, with thigh-deep snow, treacherous ice and a five-month duration.
Yamuna and I were determined that come what may we would move into the ashram before the
winter of 1999. So on October 15, a small ceremony was held to attach the front door, and two
days later, at the auspicious date and time chosen by our Vastu architect, the devotee community
gathered for the final move-in ceremony.

Yamuna: The move-in ceremony was observed on October 17, at 11 AM, with a fire
yajna in the brahmasthan, then the first bhoga was prepared in the wood cookstove and
distributed to all the assembled guests and Vaishnava Saranagati residents as prasadam.

While the outside of Banabehari Mandir had been completed by this time, the inside was
another story. Two rooms had been framed out as sleeping rooms, but the rest of the ashram
remained unfinished, with cardboard flooring and a tiny laminate table as a kitchen. The grand
rosewood altar of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari looked absurdly out of place in Their bare-walled
temple and pujari room. Yet Yamuna and I were thrilled to finally live in our hard-won ashram
and saw the bare interior as a creative palette to mold into something wonderful for the pleasure
of the Lord. This process was ongoing, blissful, and cemented loving relationships with the many
devotee friends who would often show up to offer their services:

Yamuna’s kitchen in 1999

Harilila devi: Bala Krishna would come and chop wood for [Yamuna and Dina], doing
some seva, and they would always poke their head out and say, “Bala! Come in for breakfast.”
He would come in, and they would serve him breakfast. It was something they always did, serve
the devotees—serve them breakfast, serve them prasadam, bring them in.

Kuvalesaya das: For the interior of the house they had planks, and we were chopping
them. Dina would call out the length she needed, and then I would chop it. There was an
interesting dynamic between Yamuna and Dina. While we were working, Yamuna would be
cooking and tidying. On one occasion she cooked what she described as Srila Prabhupada’s
favorite [vegetable], a lauki [squash] sabji and some tomato chutney. She also had herbed olive
oil. I remember sitting down, and there was a Teflon wok she was very particular about what
spatula to use in it. There was another identical wok, and someone was about to serve from it
with a metal spatula. I said, “Oh, no; don’t use that!” and she said, “No, it’s fine; that’s Dina’s
pan.” I thought it was so funny.

One young devotee, Bhaktirasa, assisted with the heavy stucco application, making one of
our hardest jobs look easy. Krishna Devata, petite and delicately feminine, surprised us by
tackling difficult construction tasks with aplomb.

Radhakunda devi: Yamuna and Dina were grateful and appreciative for the help they
were getting. Bhaktirasa, from England, was here when they were doing the stucco on their walls,
and he was helping them do it. Yamuna was so happy and appreciative of his help; she would
always say he was the king of stucco—that he could stucco faster than anyone else and had saved
them so much time and money. They were like that with everyone who helped in any small way.

Other friends and even strangers interested in straw bale construction came to help. Henry
Schoellkopf from Washington DC made hundreds of stucco wires, while others painted, raked
gravel and brought prasadam. Almost every resident of Saranagati offered service in some way,
and Yamuna wanted to honor each person’s contribution at Banabehari Mandir in perpetuity, so
she etched their names on brass leaves, which she later framed and placed prominently on the
wall as our Tree of Gratitude.

Pictures taken of the building process often show a very large and fearsome-looking dog
among the devotees. Once in 1976 in Los Angeles, as Srila Prabhupada was giving instructions
regarding our Oregon ashram, he said, “And you should keep a dog for watching—for guarding.”
I don’t remember our reaction, but the idea at the time was incomprehensible to us, and it never
manifested. Then while living in Washington State in 1997, someone “gifted” us with an
expensive puppy, which we felt obliged to accept. We knew nothing about the breed (Rottweiler),
and neither of us had had any experience with dogs since becoming devotees. Nevertheless, the
dog, named Mira, grew to be an integral part of our Saranagati ashram, keeping bears and
prospective violators away with her ferocious bark and intimidating look. What they could not
know was that she was extremely gentle and quickly befriended the local cats, other dogs and
free-range cows. We often found her out in the pastures sitting peacefully among a hundred cows.
Mira was beloved by the children of Saranagati, and Yamuna and I were heartbroken when she
succumbed to diabetes. “No more dogs,” Yamuna said. “I would rather deal with the bears than
have another dog I’ve cared for die.” Yet we realized from the start that this dog was most
fortunate because she ate so much prasadam, heard countless recitations of the Holy Name, and
in her own way served Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari and Their ashram.

Mira guards the ashram

Through the late fall and early winter we continued building, painting and crafting and
began to see Banabehari Mandir take shape. I made decorative scroll saw patterns in the cedar
panels, built closets and finished the bathroom. Yamuna enthusiastically designed and built the
kitchen from start to finish, including the pantry, cabinetry and marble-topped cooking island.
She had often remarked over the years that many kitchens were poorly conceived, with
unreachable shelves and limited counter space, so she was naturally thrilled to be able to create
her own kitchen vision, albeit a humble one. From the early 80’s, Yamuna had carefully
conveyed over forty “sweetie jars,” (an English term describing rectangular glass storage jars) to
each of our ashrams. In the pantry at Banabehari Mandir, she built the shelving to precisely
showcase those same jars.
 Yamuna Addresses the GBC in Mayapur on Behalf of
Women Devotees

In early 2000, Yamuna, along with other senior Godsisters, was invited to speak at the
annual GBC meeting on behalf of women in Srila Prabhupada’s Movement. Although it was
mid-winter in Saranagati, and she was reluctant to leave, the opportunity to formally address the
GBC body on what she felt was an issue of fundamental importance overcame any reticence on
her part. Anyone who knew Yamuna over the years would have heard her oft-expressed concerns
about the women and the youth within our ISKCON society. To present these concerns in
conjunction with other senior Godsisters was seen by Yamuna as an imperative and a gift.

Visakha devi: In 2000, Sudharma, the head of the Women’s Ministry, arranged for a
group of devotee women to make a presentation to the GBC body about the position of women in
ISKCON. Before the GBC meetings began, nine senior women, including Yamuna, arrived in
Mayapur and regularly gathered in one of the grihastha apartments to brainstorm in preparation
for this presentation. Yamuna, lively and insightful, repeatedly encouraged these women to make
their many points in an organized, succinct and powerful way.

While careful to avoid offenses against Vaishnavas, Yamuna expressed the need to
collectively reevaluate the example we were passing on to the next generations and relayed her
concerns with the insight of her own catalog of challenges over the years. The following is an
excerpt from her address to the GBC which paraphrases those oft-expressed concerns:

Yamuna: Srila Prabhupada trained me to be concerned about his Movement, and at this
time I am deeply concerned. Now more than ever, it is time to revive and imbibe Srila
Prabhupada’s mood with his disciples. If we neglect this, an aspect of his greatness will remain
unknown to future generations.
 I appeal to you that, along with the laudable projects you are managing and those you are
contemplating—especially the magnificent temple that will arise here in Sridham
Mayapur—consider that the behavior of the ISKCON devotees who participate in these projects
must also be magnificent. Any other behavior will make the projects less than worthy of Srila
Prabhupada’s name. This grave responsibility falls on you. In other words, let us instill in every
person who comes into contact with Srila Prabhupada’s Movement the healthy spiritual
relationships that he had with his followers—his mood of encouragement, protection and
kindness. The closer we come to individually appreciating and honoring Srila Prabhupada’s
personal dealings with his disciples, the closer we will come to his sense of completeness in
Krishna Consciousness, to his joyfulness, to his transcendentally attractive nature.

With great care, our service is to create a devotional environment where men, women and
children can thrive in Krishna Consciousness, rendering service according to their desire and
inclination. Our service is to empower rather than inhibit the service propensity in others.

Visakha devi: Rukmini closed the presentation by questioning the GBC body about how
they changed history by not portraying women on the sankirtan party in the bas-reliefs on the
walls around Srila Prabhupada’s samadhi, as well as about sheltering those women who had
given their lives to serve Srila Prabhupada. When Rukmini finished and sat down, the room was
silent, the GBC members impacted by the words just spoken. Madhusevita, the acting
Chairperson, said: “Tomorrow morning a woman should lead mangal arati, and a woman should
give Srimad-Bhagavatam class.”

Unfortunately, despite the impassioned and insightful appeals of the Vaishnavis, there
was resistance among some of the men, and it was after much debate and controversy that
Visakha devi eventually gave Srimad-Bhagavatam class to the assembled Mayapur devotees two
weeks after the GBC meetings.

Visakha devi: Thus the next morning a woman did not lead mangal arati, and it took two
weeks of high-level talks before a woman was allowed to give Srimad-Bhagavatam class.
Yamuna led Jaya Radha Madhava for that class, her melodious, rich voice traveling the length
and breadth of the large temple room, melting hearts and transporting unbiased souls to a
transcendental realm.

When Yamuna returned to our Saranagati ashram from India, she was ambivalent about
the experience in Mayapur. While she enjoyed the camaraderie among her Godsisters and the
association of many Godbrother friends, she frankly felt that real change would be slow in
manifesting.

Yamuna: I still feel after all these years that the real benefit of being a woman within
ISKCON manifests mostly on an internal level—that women can develop great resources of
tolerance, compassion for others and spiritual strength on the path back to Godhead through
having to overcome intolerance in their devotional lives.

A Sacred Space — The Morning Program at Banabehari

Mandir

Kuvalesaya das: I remember that everything I did at the time was to get some sort of
acknowledgment or social petting, but I observed how everything [Yamuna] did was just to
please her Deities and Srila Prabhupada. I feel my attraction to establishing sacred space was
founded in their ashram. There was such an aura in that space—people would become silent, and
you would really notice when someone would not catch on to that.

Wherever our ashram happened to be in the world, we followed a fixed morning schedule.
In our cardboard-floored Saranagati ashram, we began our regulated morning program and
extended an open invitation to anyone who wished to attend. I would usually wake and bathe the
Deities, while Yamuna prepared the offering. We performed arati and led the chanting on a daily
rotation if alone, and either requested guests to lead when they attended, or we sang in unison.
Then rounds were chanted and Srimad-Bhagavatam class was held, the shlokas repeated by all,
the text and purport read, and then discussions held on the verse. Yamuna was always careful to
see that no one left without maha prasadam—something she emphasized as Srila Prabhupada had
done. These morning programs were particularly sweet and nectarean because they somehow
engaged both senior devotees and the youth.

Kalakantha das: Yamuna and Dina charmed us with their very gracious mood and
inspired us with their unalloyed dedication to Srila Prabhupada. Meeting them tipped the scales;
we decided that Saranagati was the place to spend our summers. The two ladies were the heart of
the ashram. They held a punctual morning program every day, open to all, plus evening reading
and kirtan meetings two or three times a week. During the months we were there, we did not miss
a morning, walking or driving the two miles from our residence to savor the sweet association.

Dina and Yamuna took turns performing the mangal arati. On her singing days Yamuna
accompanied herself during Gurvastakam with a small keyboard instrument whose soft bell-like
tone mingled with her gentle, angelic voice, creating a wonderfully mystical devotional
atmosphere in the cool Canadian pre-dawn mountain air. She insisted we sing not with
call-and-response, but in unison, a method creating a warm intimacy among the devotees that
melted away any bodily considerations of ashram, gender or seniority, bringing everyone present
together in an infectious mood of love for Srila Prabhupada and Radha-Banabehari. After kirtan
everyone chanted japa for an hour. Yamuna would sometimes bring out her set of large red
wooden beads dating back to her early days with Srila Prabhupada—beads he had personally
chanted on for her. She would invite devotees present to chant a round on these special beads.
She did not hoard her blessings from Srila Prabhupada, but shared them with everyone.

After japa was Srimad-Bhagavatam class. Dina began each class with an excerpt from a
selected book such as Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur’s biography or Srila Bhaktisiddhanta
Saraswati’s writings. Then we read Srila Prabhupada’s Srimad-Bhagavatam, often several verses
and purports each day, always nicely facilitated by Dina, always conducted in an interactive
discussion format involving all present without a main speaker. Yamuna would often stir the
discussion with thoughtful questions, steering the topic from the day’s verses and purports into a
variety of fascinating directions. Many days it was just the four of us for class, and we talked
about everything—their experiences with Srila Prabhupada, the dynamics of ashram and
community life, the state of Kali Yuga, India, off-grid living, cow protection, Gaudiya
Math/ISKCON issues, upcoming festivals, and much more.

Haripriya devi (Milkmaid*): My alarm clock rings. It is 5:00 AM on a summer morning

in Saranagati Village, and it’s almost time for mangal arati. After getting ready, I step outside
into a crisp and quiet morning. Picking a flower from our garden for Their Lordships, I jog up the
hill on the way to my favorite place, Banabehari Mandir. Once at the top, I look down towards
the ashram and see dim yellow lights shining through the early morning mist. Coming up to the
beautiful stained-glass tilak door, I lightly knock—one, two, three—and almost immediately, my
favorite voice answers, “Haribol! Come in!” Slowly opening the door and stepping in, I say,
“Haribol!” From the kitchen I hear, “Oh, choti Haripriya! I’m so happy you are here! I’ve been
thinking of you!” Yamuna walks around the corner with a warm smile. She wraps me up in a
tight embrace, and I squeeze my eyes shut and hug her, cherishing every moment in her arms.
After a few seconds, Yamuna takes me by the hand and leads me towards the temple room.
Before entering, she taps the hanging chimes, which ring in a high, sweet pitch. Wafts of incense
mixed with the fragrance of flowers meet my nose. I hear Dina behind the Deity curtain,
humming beautiful tunes as she prepares for arati. On this and every time I come to Banabehari
Mandir, I think, “This is what the spiritual world must be like. I am home.” Yamuna asks me if I
would like to play the drum, and picking up the whompers, she sits down on her blue ball in the
back of the temple room. Suddenly, the conchshell blows, the bell rings and the curtains swing
open to reveal a beautiful sight. There on the tall marble altar, lit by an array of candles,
surrounded by silver animals and vases full of blossoming flowers, gracefully stand the most
beautiful Deities: Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari. They take my breath away, as They always do. Dina
begins singing the Samsara prayers while she gracefully offers incense to their Lordships. Then
Yamuna and I softly join in with our own voices and instruments. Carefully listening for
Yamuna’s voice behind me, I hear it dipping in and out, freely weaving notes over and under
ours, as if wrapping our offering with love. It is a most melodious and transcendental sound. In
Banabehari Mandir, everything is a meditation, everything is a heartfelt prayer. I close my eyes
and try to hear. Mangal arati in Banabehari Mandir has only just begun.
 (* “Banabehari’s Milkmaids” is the name for the five young girls in Saranagati ranging
in ages from ten to thirteen years old who had developed an enthusiasm for devotional activities
and were engaged in devotional service at Banabehari Mandir.)

Radhakunda devi’s Diary: DECEMBER 2002—I went to Yamuna’s and Dina’s

morning program this morning with Kar and his group. It was so beautiful—really beautiful. I
can’t begin to describe what I feel right now. My mind is so overwhelmed with awe and
amazement by such devotion as I’ve seen. What could I have possibly done to attain this
beautiful association? Being at Yamuna’s and Dina’s is like being given two precious jewels, and
I, in my ignorance, take them so much for granted. I do not know how to properly appreciate
them at all…. I wish there was some way I could show these amazing people how much they
mean to me, how much they have helped me grow. Perhaps someday I will understand such
devotion and love that [they] have. For now I can only look in awe and dream.

Blissful Bali, Nimesh, Kartamasa and Radhakunda after a December morning program at
Banabehari Mandir
 Bhavatarini devi: I remember coming to chant japa with Yamuna early in the morning.
She would be so excited about chanting japa that you would be totally into chanting japa first
thing in the morning. And she would tell you so many special things about her that made it sound
so special. You were like, “This is awesome.” I used to not want to chant japa, and now I am
super into it.

Kalindi devi (Milkmaid): It is usually pretty cold at Saranagati in the mornings. So we go

[to mangal arati] at 5:30 AM. And the sun is just coming up on the horizon on the tips of the
mountains… So we would walk [to Banabehari Mandir]; and you pick a flower for the Deities
because you know that Yamuna really appreciated that whenever you see the Lord, there are all
these little things that we know we are supposed to do. She never really specifically instructed us,
“You know you have to do this.” She would show it by example. So we picked our flowers and
walked over there. They have a small gravel walkway, and when you open the gate, and you
crunch in the gravel, you are so excited to go see Radha-Banabehari early in the morning in Their
pajamas. You can see the lights on, and you know it is warm in there, and so you would always
knock a little bit, and then go in. [Yamuna and Dina] would always say, “Come in!” And they
would always call us, “Come in, sweet things. Haribol! Good morning!” They were always so
happy to see us. It was like ever fresh or something, like they hadn’t seen us in years, and they
were so happy to see us. They have these little lights that line the ceiling, and the mahamantra is
right underneath it. There is usually Prabhupada chanting, or they will have some tape going
before, and you can smell incense. It is so warm and cozy. You feel like you are in the spiritual
world—everything else is far behind you. You don’t care about anything else. You are just so
excited to sing for the Deities and see Radha-Banabehari. So they start the mangal arati, and it is
so sweet. Everybody would sing together. And you could hear Yamuna sitting in the back, and
she would play either a gong, shaker or sometimes a little keyboard…. And she was amazing at
playing it. She would play all these notes, and she would be singing. And I remember I’d always
be listening, trying to hear her sing. I would go quiet listening to her beautiful voice. And it was
just so sweet.
 Whenever we would have Bhagavatam discussions, it was never like a class; we would
discuss everything together. And she was always so inquisitive: “How do you feel about it?”
Yamuna would always put you on the spot. She would say, “Kalindi, what do you think about
that?” And you were like, “Oh, Krishna!” and you say something. It would automatically make
you go into your heart and pull out your deepest realizations and feelings. She made it in such a
way that you didn’t have time to think about what you were going to say. She just encouraged
you to speak from the heart.

Vraja Kishori devi: I remember we would look forward to coming [to Saranagati] in the
summer so that we could come to the morning program there. We came every morning. There
was a beautiful mangal arati going on, then chanting japa together. We always felt welcome,
even though there was [outside] tension because we were initiated by B. V. Narayana Maharaja.
She was always welcoming us and reading together. Yamuna and Dina came here to go deeper.
You just felt that Yamuna was always so sincerely reading, delving into it. She would ask my
son, Srivasa, “So what have you heard in your sanga about this?” She was so eager to hear, so
happy to hear, and we would share things that would be inspiring for us, and she would be so
inspired.

Udarakirti devi: I experienced this with my children. One mangal arati, they were so
enthusiastic to come. They went running in the van, wailing, “We’re late! We’re late!” When we
were coming here, they were just running with their skirts up, and I was sitting with Yoginath and
saying, “Gosh, I haven’t seen anything like this.” We were behind; we couldn’t catch up because
they wanted to be on time for greeting Radha-Banabehari for mangal arati.

Yoginath das: The thing about the morning programs was that sometimes there would be
a lot of people or some event, and it would be real exciting. But it was actually exciting every
day. It was a real vital thing, even if there were only a few people there. Somehow, because I
guess Krishna was there, it was alive, even to the point that Kalakantha mentioned that in his
class in Mayapur—that the morning programs at this ashram made a big imprint on his Krishna
Consciousness.

Kalavati devi (Milkmaid): For me at the morning programs, I would get this feeling from
being very young that by coming here, from the moment you step in, it was mystical. It was
different. It wasn’t Saranagati. It wasn’t anything. It was so different here. You would walk in,
and Yamuna would grab your hand and bring you to the front; then Dina was doing the arati. It
was dark, and you didn’t see anybody, and it was just you and Krishna. And you knew that you
were being guided to Krishna by Dina and Yamuna. It was interesting because that feeling of
Radha-Banabehari being there is such a mood of Radha and Krishna. I had that same feeling
when I went to Vrindavan. I got so attached to Vrindavan because that same feeling from
Radha-Banabehari was there—it was Radha and Krishna. I got so attached to
Radha-Shyamasundara because I could relate to that service, that love. That is what I felt with
Yamuna and Dina. And that is something I noticed in Vrindavan, and I was kind of shocked by it.
I knew I had felt this before, and it was with Radha-Banabehari.
 Kartamasa das: [The morning program at Banabehari Mandir] was really a testament to
how things can act on your heart, your mind. Because I was definitely trying to live both lives, I
guess—a foot in each boat—many times staying up all night until mangal arati. And when the
alarm goes off at four in the morning, if anyone I was with had said, “Oh, I am too tired to go,”
we would all be like, “Okay, okay, I’m not going”—totally out of it. But every time, without fail,
after we went to the morning program, we would be like, “Oh, my gosh! That was the most
amazing program ever. I am so glad we decided to come. If we had missed that … !” I can’t
recall anything from it now; that is why I am saying it was a heart thing. It is not like she said this
and that, or we read this or that. The heart just changed.

Kirtaniya Sada Harih — Connecting with the Youth

Through the Holy Name

Giriraja Swami: Yamuna devi had a dream. I don’t remember the details, and it is a little
delicate, because she was a very private person. Anyway, in this dream, or vision—whatever it
was, she took it as very real—she was a sage in the forest, and Srila Prabhupada was also in the
same forest, and somehow he engaged her in doing kirtan. She felt that from her past life there
was a connection with Srila Prabhupada in relation to kirtan.

About Srila Prabhupada’s kirtan she said, “Srila Prabhupada’s kirtan had no tinge of
being a performance. It was purely for the pleasure of Krishna. It allowed the chanters access to
the fact that the Lord’s Holy Name and the Lord are nondifferent. He said that the key to
engaging in kirtan without anartha was hearing and studying our literature, and that gradually it
would rise to the platform of pure devotional service.

And in an email to Bhakta Carl, she wrote, “Leading and chanting in kirtan has little to do
with how we sound to each other. It has much more to do with how we call out to Krishna and
immerse ourselves in hearing the vibrations of the Holy Names.” What a vehicle for experiencing
love of Godhead!

Throughout our years in Saranagati Village, the community held a Sunday Feast program
featuring a fixed schedule of arati, class, guru puja, and feast. In the beginning, a core group of
youth comprised of the teenage offspring of some of the founding residents, along with a younger
group of girls, attended these Sunday programs. Yet Yamuna could easily see that this was a duty
for most of them, and their hearts were often engaged elsewhere. We held long discussions on
how we could help encourage the youth, something so close to Yamuna’s heart that she often
cried tears of empathy and frustration. “We are losing our next generation because they are not
feeling inspired by Krishna Consciousness,” she often lamented.

One of Yamuna’s greatest attributes was her ability to create wonderfully imaginative
engagements, festivals and other events to encourage others to experience the joy of Krishna
bhakti. For many years, we had been swimming in the nectarean ocean of kirtan and bhajans,
especially the prayers of Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur and Narottama das, and Yamuna came up
with the idea of giving singing classes to the youth as a means of engaging them.

Radhakunda devi: In the winter or fall, Yamuna invited us [the youth of Saranagati] to
her ashram once a week to do singing lessons with her. She had printed out for each of us (about
seven or eight) a thick booklet of exercises and lessons on how to improve your vocals and
singing power. It was never like she was teaching us; she was just inviting us to learn with her. I
remember marveling at how she would act like she didn’t know a thing about singing, and how
much she needed to know more, yet she was the most incredible singer I had ever known! We
would sit on mats on the floor in a semicircle in the temple room. Yamuna would always greet us
warmly, grabbing our hands and patting the mat beside her to sit down. Then we would go
through the lessons and exercises together, making the unusual sounds that they asked and
laughing about them. Yamuna would always have funny comments about them. Often she would
use the mahamantra to do the exercises with. I remember saying “Rama Rama” or “Krishna
Krishna” in so many different ways and styles. Afterwards she would have us do kirtan together,
round-robin style, and we would all sing, regardless of how nervous we were. I remember she
would be commenting on how beautiful Namamrita’s voice was, or Krishna Chaitanya’s, or
others. I remember for one retreat she had our little group perform a bhajan with her. I sat beside
her and played the bell chimes—just feeling so wonderful.

Radhakunda devi’s Diary: JANUARY 5, 2001—Tonight’s singing class with Yamuna

and Dina was great! As well as the morning melody, they are also teaching us how to lead a
kirtan and how to really follow the leader. Everyone went and sang a few mantras, and everyone
else tried to follow to their best ability. It was actually quite difficult. When it was my turn, I had
this tune in my head that I wanted to sing, but when I tried, it came out completely different. It
was a difficult tune to follow, probably because I was half making it up, so I decided to switch to
the normal tune, but it also came out very different.
 Yamuna teaching singing to the youth

Yamuna also engaged the older youth in ashram services such as planting a tulip garden
for the Deities. Years later I dug up those tulips to separate and replant them elsewhere, but
miraculously, those little white, perfectly formed tulips continued blossoming in the same area
year after year.

Of course, one of Yamuna devi’s principal attractions for the youth was her prasadam
distribution. Everyone had heard of her culinary expertise, and Yamuna enjoyed preparing and
offering prasadam to others perhaps even more than they enjoyed relishing it.

A Fortuitous Encounter Opens Hearts to the Joy of Kirtan

and Sanga

In late 2000, Yamuna and I met a young, second generation devotee, Kartamasa das,
whose presence immediately impacted us. Visiting Saranagati with his friend Nimesh from
Vancouver, we observed him as he sat chanting surrounded by friends, and it was obvious to us
that he was a born leader. Intrigued, Yamuna invited Kartamasa and his friends over for kirtan
and prasadam, and this began what became a profound, loving and enduring relationship with
both Yamuna and me. Over the years, this sensitive, thoughtful and sincere devotee has
influenced so many souls with his deeply penetrating and ego-free chanting of bhajans and
kirtan, and as a teacher and headmaster, but more importantly, by his personal example of
unequivocal devotional aspiration. Both he and later his equally qualified wife, Radhakunda,
became more dear to Yamuna and me than words can express.

Kartamasa das: The first time I met Yamuna devi, my life changed forever. I was in
Saranagati for the Christmas holidays in 2000 having a reunion with my closest childhood
friends. We were all in our early twenties, and having recently finished our university education
and started work, we spent our time together recalling our childhood activities. One day we
decided to have kirtan, but in a rather irreverent way, mocking the showy, elaborate vocal and
instrument style we had all absorbed growing up in ISKCON. After one such parody of kirtan,
while we were all laughing at ourselves, Yamuna was standing over us. I don’t quite remember if
she introduced herself (I don’t even remember how I knew it was Yamuna); I just remember her
saying, “Oh, you do kirtan?” “Oh, no, no! We’re just playing around.” “And you can play
harmonium and mridanga,” she said. “Oh, no; we’re just pretending.” “Please come to our
ashram and have kirtan there.” “Uuuuhhh.” We youth looked at each other with embarrassment
and apprehension. Even without knowing anything about her, other than “Yamuna the cook and
singer of the Govindam prayer lives here now,” I could sense some kind of uncompromising
purity from her, even though she was so jovial. It made me feel sheepish. “We have apple crisp,”
she added. Her determination, coupled with our youthful appetites, changed our demeanors to
interested smiles.

“So, can you come at 4:15?” And so at 4:15 the four of us made our first trip to
Banabehari Mandir. The atmosphere set the tone immediately. It was already rather dark out, and
the ashram was only lit by candles. In the very center of the ashram was a brahmasthan [a dome
over a skylight], and directly under that were plants and candles. Couches and chairs were
arranged in a circular way around that center. We were seated there and served hot tea and
delicious apple crisp on small china plates.

I do not remember any of the conversations that took place then. From talking to my
friends about it years later, we could only recall that Yamuna and Dina seemed to take a genuine
interest in us, and that genuineness instilled in us a very rare feeling of respect (for at that time
we competitively took pride in noting hypocrisies and insincerities in people). What is forever
etched in my mind is the kirtan that happened next. Yamuna and Dina both sat directly across
from me, and Dina began strumming a tamboura and humming. They then began to sing
together—just the two of them—the entire Mangalacaranam prayers. Their eyes remained
closed. I had never been in a kirtan like that. There were no other instruments around, nor were
we asked to play anything. We weren’t even asked to sing. We just listened. And that changed
my life forever, because as I listened I began to feel something. I was not feeling anything inside
myself (I was as unconscious as a brick). I was simply “feeling” something they were feeling. In
other words, I was palpably affected and moved by what they were feeling as they sang. Right
then and there, I decided that I wanted to feel what they were feeling. It was the real
thing—everything I had heard and read about chanting while growing up as a devotee, yet which
evaded me as if it were a myth—here it was as clear as day right in front of me, in real live
human beings. In a matter of seconds, all my cumulative desires, aspirations, ambitions, priorities
and hierarchies faded into the pale, replaced unequivocally by this overbearing drive to taste what
they were tasting in this immensely deep, peaceful, prayerful kirtan. This jolted my entire being,
literally waking me up from a dullness at least a decade strong. Mystically my senses suddenly
seemed to sharpen. For instance, I suddenly became aware of the smell of incense that I couldn’t
distinguish minutes earlier. The plants in the middle of the room—I was now convinced they
were all tulasi plants. “This is it,” I thought to myself. “This is Vrindavan. This is kirtan. This is
Krishna Consciousness.” And I had never before had that thought in my entire life.

I then closed my eyes too and listened to the kirtan attentively again. I loved it. Towards
what seemed like the end of the kirtan, I believe we mumbled along, almost inaudibly, to the
mahamantra, since none of us were accustomed to serious kirtan. Furthermore, I felt a bit out of
my league even being in the same kirtan as these two devotees. The kirtan lasted about 45
minutes. I noted that because I was used to participating in a kirtan for 5 or 10 minutes, and 45
minutes was a total novelty to me. I don’t remember leaving or any other exchanges that evening.
I had withdrawn into myself, and the conversations around me were faded soundtracks behind my
new purpose in life. Not just my new purpose—it was my first purpose in life. And now and
forever, it is my only purpose—to taste kirtan the way Yamuna and Dina do. I cannot
comprehend anything higher than that, and I don’t ever need to, because that was real Krishna
Consciousness.

Upon returning to Alachua from my vacation in Saranagati, I was determined to explore

kirtan. Nothing was more intriguing to me. I had spent much of the previous eight years playing
in bands ranging from jazz to heavy metal, but hadn’t touched kirtan since childhood. Now it was
a mission, all inspired by that one kirtan with Yamuna and Dina. I can’t remember if it was
vocalized by either them or me, but I felt it was an instruction from them to try to have more
kirtan. I may have told them that when I got back to Alachua I would try to have kirtan with my
friends. Regardless, somehow I felt accountable to them in my heart to explore kirtan…. I
gathered all my most musical and talented friends. I explained to them that instead of trying to
make excellent contemporary music, we should try to make excellent bhajans. They all went
along with the idea, most probably because I was so enthusiastic about it.

We chose to practice the bhajan Gay Gaura Madhur Sware because it had so much
musical potential. We had a few soulful singers, harmonium, mridanga, kartals, violin, and I
played guitar. There were possibly more instruments. Everything was intricately choreographed
and rehearsed, like a band practice. However, we would warm up and warm down with simple
and spontaneous mahamantra kirtan. The “rehearsals” lasted only about three sessions. Without a
word spoken about our previous plans, we unanimously opted to meet weekly for more
spontaneous bhajans, taking turns leading and encouraging each other with a lot of love and
patience. Soon, non-musical friends were invited, and soon after that we opened to anyone that
was interested in coming. That was the beginning of Alachua’s “Wednesday Night Bhajans,”
which still continue regularly as of this writing, and also coincided with a global interest in
bhajans amongst the devotee youth. For myself, my role was as a facilitator, overseeing the
sound system and pacifying my neighbors and apartment manager. But the drive and aim to
engage in and taste kirtan came directly from Yamuna and Dina prabhus.
 While I greatly enjoyed those kirtans, I felt like I was just taking the first baby step of a
very long journey. In my heart, I couldn’t wait to get back to Saranagati and to have more kirtan
with Yamuna and Dina. The next chance I got to go was the following Christmas break, 2001,
one year after my first meeting with them.

Over the next year Banabehari Mandir began taking on its own distinctive qualities and
character—aided by Yamuna and my continued efforts and the contributions of many Saranagati
devotees. A new adobe floor was poured, with parquet wood in the temple room. Flower and
vegetable beds were prepared and planted and the pujari room completed. A fortunate by-product
of engaging others in Deity or ashram services was that through seva many warm and loving
relationships were established. Lilamrita devi, a selfless and dedicated disciple of Srila
Prabhupada despite never having met him during his manifest presence, regularly came
throughout our Saranagati years and shared Krishna Consciousness with us through the six
exchanges of love. Harilila devi always brought gifts of flowers or wonderful jams and jellies she
and her husband, Bala Krishna, made on their farm. Udarakirti, a Russian devotee who had
endured the depredations of ISKCON’s early years there, was an enthusiastic support to us. And
our long-time friend and Godsister Visakha devi, her husband, Yadubara das, and their two
beautiful devotee daughters, were now our closest neighbors.

Kuvalesaya das: When I think of the ashram space, I remember a devotee called
Lilamrita; and I remember one day she had come to do seva for Radha-Banabehari, and there was
this certain mood of very gentle, delicate, sensitive and quiet worship. In that context, I felt that
somehow the space Dina and Yamuna had created really obliged one to reconsider their whole
approach to how they were going to live their life and interact in this space.

Harilila, Dinatarini, Udarakirti, Yamuna, Nirmala and Lilamrita

 An Invitation from Radhanath Swami to Mumbai and
Pune Yatra — January 2001

Yamuna and I had been hearing enlivening reports from several people about the
wonderful devotional programs instituted by Radhanath Swami in Mumbai. He had previously
invited her to visit the Radha-Gopinatha Temple in Chowpatty and also attend a great gathering
of devotees at the Pune residence of Krishna Chandra prabhu and his family, but Yamuna wrote
in reply that as Srila Prabhupada had instructed her to remain aloof from her former husband, she
reluctantly had to decline. This in itself reveals much about Yamuna’s dedication to Srila
Prabhupada. She was very careful to follow his direct instructions over the years, whether they
were fashionable or not. In her humility she would often say, “I’m not advanced enough to say
that even though he said one thing, he meant another, or meant it for a moment in time.”

When Radhanath Swami invited her again in 2001, Yamuna was excited at the prospect.
As I could not go due to the possibility of winter damage to the still-unfinished ashram if left
unattended, Visakha devi again accompanied Yamuna to Mumbai, stopping first for two days in
England to visit old friends there.

Yamuna: We arrived in Mumbai at 3:30 in the morning and passed through customs
without event. Two devotees greeted and garlanded us—one was named Palika devi, a very
exuberant, bubbly and friendly escort who turned out to be a great saving grace in the subsequent
days of our stay in Mumbai. A wonderful driver put us into a brand new Toyota SUV
vehicle—most unlike India. The morning was muggy and dark, with cicadas at the airport….
They took us to the home of Krishna Chandra prabhu and his wife, Radhapriya devi, called
Mafatlal House.

In her recorded diary, Yamuna elaborately described the experience of being hosted by
the family of Krishna Chandra prabhu, down to the notes of sincerity posted by the children on
the bulletin board in the room where she and Visakha stayed. Yamuna felt an immediate
connection with the entire family—gracious and humble, Krishna Chandra prabhu; his devoted
and powerful wife, Radhapriya; his intelligent, sober and deep daughter Radha; Anjali, full of
life, honest and forthright; and Priyavrata, still young and carefree. When she returned to
Saranagati, Yamuna was effusive about their sincerity in devotional service. I can’t recall how
many times she said, “I can’t wait for you to meet this family. There is no reason for them to be
so dedicated and devotional because materially everything is there, but it comes from their hearts.
I know you will feel the same way.” And she was right. I did not meet the extended family of
Krishna Chandra prabhu until his daughter Anjali’s wedding in 2006, but I witnessed those same
qualities and shared the same heartfelt appreciation of them.

When she saw the beautiful temple of Radha-Gopinatha, Yamuna was overwhelmed at
the beauty and care taken with every service, and repeated to many devotees how pleased Srila
Prabhupada would be to see the cleanliness, the punctuality and the attitude of sincere service.
When she asked a senior member there what was responsible for the flourishing temple and
temple standards, he replied: “Three things—Radhanath Swami, Radhanath Swami and
Radhanath Swami.” Humor aside, Yamuna saw the truth in this. Just as we had seen Bhakti-tirtha
Swami in Washington DC convince many African-American professionals and others to join the
Krishna Consciousness Movement by his personal example, so also Radhanath Swami had
convinced so many highly intelligent and materially prosperous people to become sincere and
dedicated devotees. This was nothing short of miraculous in Yamuna’s eyes.

It is interesting that our Unalloyed team acquired so many talks and kirtans of Yamuna
devi, because after Srila Prabhupada’s departure, she was always reluctant to either lead kirtan or
speak in any large assembly. In her diary, Yamuna expressed her fears that Radhanath Swami
expected her to do both.

Yamuna: Radhanath Maharaja hinted that we were going to be engaged in pravachan,

and of course, this was my worst dread, and something I had feared from the very beginning
would be asked of me. Somehow or other he gave [Visakha and me] the general topic of speaking
about Srila Prabhupada. And so we were introduced by Radhanath Maharaja with his standard
means of glorifying the devotees—extremely moving and highly respectful. Then he said, “Now
let us greet the devotees,” and everybody shouted, “Haribol! Haribol! Haribol!” and raised their
hands. And then he said, “Louder,” and everybody roared this “Haribol!” greeting. Then he asked
us to speak, and we bounced back and forth with each other for about 45 minutes until it was time
to greet the Deities. At that point, Radhanath Swami said, “Now lead kirtan,” and I was very
hesitant to do that, but when the curtains opened, I began leading the Govindam prayers.

Radhanath Swami: We are so blessed in this very temple room. On several occasions
Yamuna devi spoke for us, sitting right here. She would lead kirtans. She would speak incredible
deep memories of Srila Prabhupada. She would speak such powerful, pure, heart-piercing
siddhanta of our teachings and philosophy, with such compassion…. Yamuna devi was here, and
it was greeting of the Deities time, and we were all sitting in front as the doors opened. And just
as the doors opened, the electricity went out. So Govindam adi purusam didn’t play. There was
no electricity. So everyone looked at Yamuna devi, and I asked her, “Please, you chant.” And
everyone was looking at her, “Please chant.” So she led, live, in person, for the greeting of
Radha-Gopinatha. And I was thinking that devotees all over the universe would give anything to
be here for this moment, where Yamuna devi is live in person greeting the Deities. And it was
very heart-melting. As soon as she ended, all the lights went on, and the electricity came back.
This is not just some sentimental idea. This is the reality—that Sri Sri Radha-Gopinatha wanted
her to sing for Them, and They orchestrated it perfectly. And we were all the witnesses of this
lila.

“You Will Live Ten More Years”

A few days after her arrival, Yamuna went to the Bhaktivedanta Hospital to receive
Ayurvedic treatment for a few days. On entering the hospital and seeing Srila Prabhupada’s murti
prominently displayed and worshiped by all the staff, and by observing the sincerity and
dedication of the devotee doctors and facilitators, she spent virtually the entire visit overwhelmed
with emotion.
 Yamuna: I’m completely overwhelmed. [The staff] were already glorified with their
qualifications—all specialists in their fields, and all devotee preachers first, and then their
specialist positions—anesthesiologists, pediatricians, surgeons, lecturers, teachers—after. The
level of sincere Krishna Consciousness here is earth shattering. You can hear Srila Prabhupada;
he is being glorified in the background by his kirtan going on twenty-four hours a day. The halls
resonate with Krishna Consciousness. Everything is offered; everyone who eats in this
hospital—all the patients in critical care down to somebody who sits at the front door—gets
Krishna prasadam offered to Jagannatha, Balarama, Subhadra archa vigraha. In the lobby
everyone has on suits, and all the men have on sikhas. What can I say? I’m speechless—it is yet
again as if a bomb was dropped on my head. I am speechless.

Vishvarupa das: [Yamuna devi] was standing [before Srila Prabhupada’s murti] for the
Siksastakam prayers that we sing four times in the day before the shift of service begins. And
when she entered somehow that prayer was going on, and she was simply weeping and weeping
throughout the prayers. Then she distributed the prasadam which we distribute after the prayers
with her own hands. All the employees and people were there. And I remember that on that visit
of hers, I never saw her not crying. Constantly she was crying throughout. And my wife would
cook for her, and with every morsel, she would just close her eyes and just eat and glorify, and
the next morsel, eat and glorify, and cry. Cry and eat, cry and eat…. I cannot imagine how one
can be ecstatically crying every moment, all throughout the number of days that she stayed….
She was so appreciative of the devotees that Prabhupada’s Movement had created, and she was
thanking Prabhupada again and again.

Yamuna’s initial desire was to take the panchakarma cleanse, but at her evaluation the
Ayurvedic consultant advised against it, feeling it would put too much strain on the heart.
Yamuna recorded his findings:

Yamuna: After four days of observation, the doctor has come up with the fact that I
should not take panchakarma—that my system is not strong enough for it. That means that
although it doesn’t show up in a cardiograph, there is a chance of a heart problem, and the
panchakarma would be too strong on that. [He said] that whatever healing I do should be done
very slowly, and not in a dramatic way. That includes weight loss and/or working on any of the
other functions of my body that aren’t in working order.

The Ayurvedic physician has said that according to my palm I have ten more years to live.
I can either live that in a healthy state or a diseased state. The healthy state will be obtained by
living in an Ayurvedic way that is in tune with my constitution.

This prophetic statement turned out to be true, and except for the last two years of her life,
Yamuna lived a remarkably active and blissful life full of energy and stamina despite her health
issues. Before she left the hospital, Yamuna expressed her gratitude and appreciation to the
assembled doctors and staff:

Yamuna: I just want to glorify your service. I have millions of thoughts and millions of
words, and it would be very eloquent to begin to express how touched and how honored we are
just to have your company, and how we appreciate the fact that while Srila Prabhupada gave
instructions equally to all of his disciples, to everyone on this planet, you see how some [actually]
hear them, and you have heard them. And not only how you heard them, but how you’ve acted on
them, and that it is so rare and exquisitely beautiful, and so needed on this planet. This is like no
place in the world.

More Blissful Association at the Pune Yatra

Yamuna devi would have been the first to say that she became uncomfortable in large
crowds. The surreal effect of traveling from our remote ashram in the wilds of British Columbia
to Mumbai, and the reception she always received, was frankly overwhelming to her. Whenever
she stepped out of our cocooned existence at Saranagati, she was virtually mobbed with devotees
who wanted her company. And Yamuna’s nature was at once gracious and self-effacing. She
would always try to accommodate everyone, but with vast numbers, it became somewhat
overwhelming. As she attended the massive gathering at the Pune residence of Krishna Chandra
prabhu, she later related that all she could feel was gratitude and appreciation—that these
devotees were serving Srila Prabhupada’s Movement with such grace and dignity. Her talk at the
Pune Yatra is available online, but I attach a small indication of her overall feeling, which
poignantly expresses what she took from the experience.

Yamuna: So, when I came this morning and sat down to japa amidst you all for the first
time, again I was awestruck by your company. It was like “surround sound.” If you are ever in a
recording studio—it’s a bit high tech—there are many tracks that can be recorded upon, and
when you sit in the listening room and the sound comes on and the mixing is correct, you are
surrounded in all directions with that sound—from the four directions: left and right, up and
down. So I felt like that. Just being in your company I was surrounded by your bhakti, your
prayer, the repetition of the vibration of the mahamantra, and again I was overcome by the
quality of your association.
 Yamuna simply beamed when she returned to Saranagati from that visit, enthusiastically
recalling to me the glories of Radhanath Swami and all the devotees at Radha-Gopinatha Mandir.
I lamented not being able to experience what was etched so clearly on her face—the pure bliss of
sadhu sanga with wonderful devotees.

Saranagati Village — The Idealism Versus the Concrete

Reality of Community Living

The early idealism of our conception of community life in Saranagati Village was quickly
dampened by the challenges of its democratic management structure. With each shareholder also
being a director, the passing and implementation of resolutions was never an easy task. Although
Saranagati was an ISKCON-affiliated community, its directors focused on managing shareholder,
property and legal issues, while steering away from the enforcement of devotional standards or
infringements to its original spiritual mandate. This was attributed in part to the fact that many of
Saranagati’s residents were rugged individualists who had lived under temple management for
years and now wished to be more self-determined. Having already been confronted with a variety
of philosophical disagreements since its inception, it is understandable that the residents of
Saranagati wanted to avoid such conflicts whenever possible; yet with no overall spiritual
authority in place and little enforcement of its spiritual mission and bylaws, Saranagati’s
residents adhered to a cornucopia of philosophical understandings—from radical rtvik to
disheveled hippie-era mountain men, and from dedicated Prabhupada disciples to followers of
other Gaudiya gurus.

Yamuna devi, seen as a desirable convert, was often approached by representatives of

other groups or missions. As she fundamentally respected all Vaishnavas, perhaps some of them
mistook this for something else, but in fact Yamuna had lived through so many presentations of
siddhanta at variance with Srila Prabhupada’s that, while she graciously received those who
came to Banabehari Mandir, she was not interested in joining their ranks. Once, a young sannyasi
disciple of Narayana Maharaja came and spoke for five hours—at one point asserting that Srila
Prabhupada had only given the ABC’s of Krishna bhakti, and adding that unless we joined his
guru’s mission, no advancement would be forthcoming. I will never forget Yamuna’s answer.
While she remained externally very gracious, I could see that it was a struggle for her. She said,
“When I feel as though I have understood one ten-thousandth of a drop in the ocean of what Srila
Prabhupada gave us, in however many lifetimes that takes me, then by his grace he may then give
me more.”

Early Saranagati Retreats and Festivals

In reflecting on our years at Saranagati Village, one wonderful quality of the community
stands out—that irrespective of any external tensions, the core group of devotees were
enthusiastic and hard-working participants in devotional festivals and functions. Every household
could be counted on to bring at least one prasadam preparation and engage their children in
plays, chanting, singing, dancing, and craft projects. Inspired by the exceptional exchanges of
love among devotees at the Mumbai Radha-Gopinatha Temple, Yamuna felt that the cure for any
spiritual divisiveness in Saranagati was to encourage more all-inclusive programs and festivals, to
enliven everyone in Krishna Consciousness and strengthen the overall spiritual unity. She would
sit for hours in deep thought, write copious notes about specific themes for programs, and then go
door to door, list in hand, and invite others to make a preparation or engage in special services.
The residents of Saranagati invariably responded with enthusiasm, and when the programs,
festivals or retreats occurred, they were always blissful and dynamic occasions.

One of her first ideas was to begin quarterly Holy Name retreat programs, where the
entire community, adults and children, would spend twelve hours together engaged in chanting,
hearing, performing plays, singing and feasting. The first retreat was held at the home of Ghosh
Thakur das and Girija devi, or “Supermom” as Yamuna nicknamed her for her wonderful
parenting of five exceptional children. Always smiling and tireless, Girija is a shining star in the
Saranagati firmament. Each family or other participant contributed a reading, kirtan, play or other
offering, and as part of our contribution, Yamuna engaged the women of her singing class in
chanting a favorite bhajan.

Radhakunda devi’s Diary: APRIL 12, 2001—For the retreat, the ladies that went to
Mother Yamuna and Dinatarini’s singing program are singing the bhajan Kabe Habe Bolo Sei
Dina Amar in a choir to this really beautiful tune. It’s a little bit difficult, but not much—and it’s
fun. I really enjoy it! We are practicing again on Monday at 10:00 AM. I am so glad I am able to
get the association of those two wonderful ladies. Ten years ago, I never would have thought that
one day I would be singing and learning to sing with Yamuna and Dina! I wonder what I did to
get that special mercy? It’s a great hope for my future, for what will the next ten years bring?
 Lasting until well after midnight, and engaging each of the adults and children, the retreat
affirmed the Krishna Magic of devotee association within the community, and everyone left
feeling uplifted and ready to plan the next retreat. Radhakunda devi, then seventeen, wrote about
the event in her diary:

Radhakunda devi’s Diary: MAY 2, 2001—We had japa first, and that was a little bit
difficult. After that we had kirtan and then prasadam. After prasadam Yoginath’s family gave
their presentation. It was so good. Yogi wrote a song about Saranagati, and his family sang it in
the Navanita Gaura Varam tune. It was the funniest, most truthful song about the farm that I ever
heard. Jai said it made him cry. It was a really beautiful song. After the song [Girija] did a Krsna
book workshop. She read us the Kaliya story, and we were divided in groups. Each of us
imagined the story in our head and then shared it with the group…. We, the ladies, also sang our
Kabe Habe Bolo song. It was so fun. Then Jai led a kirtan, and KC [Krishna Chaitanya] lead a
sweet kirtan. I think we might have had prasadam then, and then we built a bonfire … and people
sang and danced until about 12 AM. Then we went inside for the midnight raga. Yamuna got
sick and had to go home, so Dina sang the tune. It was really nice, but hard to catch on. Then
everyone went home. Nice day for sure!

We held the next twelve-hour Holy Name retreat in October, soon after the wife of our
dear friend and ashram builder, Rasaraja das, was seriously injured in an automobile accident.
Lilamrita devi, our multi-talented Godsister, wrote a beautiful and poignant song dedicated to her
based on the mare krsna rakhe ke, rakhe krsna mare ke prayer of Narottama das Thakur, and
Yamuna and she sang it together leaving everyone emotional by their heartfelt singing and its
profound meaning. Yamuna later read her closing thoughts to the assembled devotees.
 A Spiritual Warrior — Bhakti-tirtha Swami at
Banabehari Mandir

One of the frequent discussions Yamuna and I had in Saranagati was on contrasting the
challenges of living in a small community with its benefits. On the challenge side, because of the
limited number of residents, you have to confront different issues with the same people over and
over again, and this can erode your respect for each other. On the benefit side, it can teach you
more tolerance, humility and self-reflection. In July, our community was given an informal
seminar on community values when our dear Godbrother Bhakti-tirtha Maharaja came to visit us
in Saranagati, staying for four days at Banabehari Mandir. Not only had the entire concept of
spiritual community been a principal focus of his for years, but he had written books deeply
exploring it. Yamuna and I spoke for hours with him on the challenges within our own
community, and his observations were both highly illuminating and relevant.

On July 4 and 5, Bhakti-tirtha Swami presented a two-day seminar on the importance of

community and devotee relationships. As expected, it was profound with realization steeped in a
liberal dose of love and compassion. His interactive seminar engaged young and old alike, and
was much appreciated by those who attended.

Radhakunda devi: [Bhakti-tirtha Swami] had all the devotees in the room go around and
glorify each other, which was especially moving because some devotees were glorifying each
other and crying. I think everyone in the valley was there, and the mood was incredible. Even as a
teenager, I remember being blown away by his personality and abilities.

Radhakunda devi’s Diary: JULY 5, 2001—Bhakti-tirtha Maharaja is here and giving

seminars on appreciating each other and building a stronger community. It’s exactly what the
farm needs right now—to appreciate each other more. Tonight is the last seminar given by
Bhakti-tirtha Swami. He is really good, humble and kind. I really enjoy his seminars.

For Yamuna and me, the memories of our profound and loving exchanges with
Bhakti-tirtha Swami during his stay were especially meaningful; it would be the last time we
actually had his physical association in this life.

Radhastami

The observance of Radhastami was usually held at Radha-Banabehari Mandir, as

Gaura-Nitai were worshiped at the community temple of Kulasekhara das. We held the first
Radhastami celebration in 2001. Yamuna wanted to offer 108 preparations, and again went with
her lists to engage others, though she made many dishes herself. We hung twenty-five paper
diamonds from the temple ceiling bearing the qualities of Srimati Radharani, and each of the
children and youth acted out a charade of one quality, while the rest guessed it. Then a full
abhisheka of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari was held with milk, yogurt, ghee, honey and sweet water
offered by each devotee, accompanied by kirtan and Radharani bhajans. At the greeting of the
Deities after Their dressing, flowers and small clay ghee lamps were offered by each devotee, as
Yamuna stood nearby asking them to offer a special prayer “from the core of their hearts” to
Srimati Radharani. Then the 108 preparations were offered and honored with great happiness.
This program, with yearly variations on its theme, was observed for each Radhastami during our
Saranagati years.

Radhakunda devi’s Diary: OCTOBER 29, 2001—What do I know for certain? I know
for certain one thing only, and that is that I want to be a devotee for the rest of my life. For
sure—not just a Sunday Feast devotee, but an everyday devotee; a devotee that follows Ekadasi,
chants sixteen rounds, reads Prabhupada’s books, goes to the programs, has a devotee husband
and devotee kids (maybe); be like my parents and Yamuna and Dina, the devotees at the farm.
It’s amazing how much more I appreciate them now that I am away from them. It’s like a big
family over there, like I have so many parents and friends.

Radhakunda offering flowers to Radha-Banabehari

A Blossoming of Bhakti in the Heart — Kartamasa’s

Story

Kartamasa das (Kar) again came during his Christmas break, and Yamuna and I
immediately sensed a change in him. The longing in the heart for glorification of Krishna through
the Holy Name was now surfacing through the thin veil of material attachments. Kar again
brought his friend Nimesh, a laconic and reserved second generation youth, who surprised us by
quietly serving both Banabehari Mandir and the community behind the scenes. Nimesh, a loyal
and generous soul, became a regular visitor to Banabehari Mandir and a much-valued friend to
Yamuna and me. Sometimes he would work in Vancouver all day and drive at night to be in time
for mangal arati.

Kartamasa das: This time, when I arrived in Saranagati along with the same friends I
shared the previous holidays with, I was a different person. I was hungry for kirtan, whether it
was listening or participating. I was interested in melodies, rhythms and moods—in short, I was a
fan of kirtan. My friends picked up on this, and for Christmas I was generously given a minidisc
recorder and microphone, so I could collect and treasure all kinds of kirtan. This was the best gift
I have ever received in my life.

Even though I was so close in proximity to Yamuna and Dina, I wasn’t able to go there,
for we were busy with holiday events, and I did not have a vehicle. From what I recall, we went
to see Yamuna and Dina once before New Year, and it was for a cordial reconnect chat. The only
memory from that conversation was Yamuna’s question to me, which was delivered in the same
manner as asking how the folks were: “And Kar, do you still do drugs?” My friends all snickered
at this, and I did not live it down for some time. I answered no, and despite the fact that I had
never in my life done any drugs, I took it as a serious question for two reasons. For one, I was
struck with the revelation of my good fortune that I was able to actually honestly say no to such a
powerful and spiritual personality; it justified my hard-fought battle against peer-pressure all
those teen years. Secondly, I looked at the question more metaphorically, as in, “And Kar, are
you still living unconsciously, without a purpose?” Again, I was so glad that I could say no—that
I was ready to hear and learn, and that she had my total respect.

Yamuna and Dina also invited us to the celebration of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari’s
installation anniversary and Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur’s Disappearance Day, which
fell on January 2 that year. They asked us to come at 8 AM for kirtan.

Nimesh, Kartamasa and Yamuna

The next time I saw Yamuna was at the New Year’s Eve gathering. I remember trying to
do kirtan with my friends as much as possible during that week or so that I was in Saranagati. I
remember Yadubara being inspired to participate, and he learned how to play harmonium shortly
afterwards. I played harmonium for Yamuna at the gathering because in my ignorance I thought
from the way she was talking that she could not in any way whatsoever play harmonium or a
keyboard; so I thought I was assisting her because she was helpless in that regard. I had only just
started playing that year. Imagine my sheepishness to find out later how many kirtans she led
with a harmonium, including playing the keyboard so often at the morning programs. The point
is, she made each of us feel important and appreciated for whatever service we might consent to.
However, at that New Year’s gathering, I still spent most of the time with friends, away from the
kirtan and Yamuna and Dina’s company. The fact is I had cherished so much the meditative
mood that they had shared with us the year before that the more social and raucous kirtans were
not very compelling to me. I eagerly awaited January 2.
 Festival for Observing the Appearance Day of Sri Sri
Radha-Banabehari

Yamuna and I were thrilled to share the Appearance Day celebration of Sri Sri
Radha-Banabehari with the Saranagati devotees and guests. Of all festivals and observances, this
was one of the most dear to us. Both Yamuna and I deeply felt the blessings and mercy of Srila
Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur in our lives, and being able to both honor his Disappearance
and celebrate Radha-Banabehari’s presence was doubly auspicious for us.

You should always pray to [Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati] because naturally he will be
more affectionate to you than me. Generally one is more affectionate to the grandchildren than to
the children directly. So I am sure that my Guru Maharaja will be [more] easily inclined to your
prayers than that of mine. You will do good always by offering your prayers to His Divine Grace
Bhaktisiddhanta Goswami Maharaja.

—LETTER TO BRAHMANANDA DAS, DEC. 19, 1968

Kartamasa das: Finally, the morning [of January 2] arrived. All my friends were there
with me, and I made my first kirtan recording ever: Dina leading us in their signature
Gurvastakam melody while playing tamboura, and then passing the lead round-robin style,
engaging each and every one of us. For many of us, it was our first time leading publicly, even if
just for one mantra. Dayalu played their precious yellow mridanga, and I played kartals for some
of the time.

Our program always involved first chanting the Mangalacaranam and other bhajans, then
having readings and personal glorification of Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati. Yamuna
traditionally requested each devotee to bring a reading, story or prayer of their choosing. Then the
abhisheka was performed and kirtan held as the Deities were dressed in Their white and
burgundy velvet winter dresses.
 Kartamasa das: When Yamuna opened the screen for the Deity darshan, I remained in
the back, so I could not see so clearly, but I remember thinking how perfect a life this was—how
the Deities were being worshiped so nicely and properly; how They were placed front and center
in all of our lives; and how a devotee (Yamuna) knew how to do this all so expertly and
efficiently. She and Dina were literally organizing and conducting the program while they were
engaged in services like offering the arati and preparing the offerings. An example of this is how
when the screen was pulled back for arati, Yamuna, while doing arati, instructed everyone to
sing the Govindam prayers, and then when the usual verses were over, she led everyone in
continuing the same melody, but singing the mahamantra. I have heard her sing the mahamantra
following the Govindam prayers a couple other times, and it is one of the most precious sounds
etched in my heart. Unfortunately, I had only a sense for kirtan at that point, and do not
remember well enough anything from the event other than that. In fact, I was still too dull to even
be able to properly see the beautiful forms of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari.

Kartamasa’s Worshipful Deities — Krishna and Balarama

Kartamasa das: Yamuna must have noticed my dullness, because the day I went over to
say goodbye (having to go back to graduate school), she gave me another life-changing
experience. After a few welcoming sentences, she called me over, away from the group. One of
her larger armchairs was all the way by the wall of what became the dining area. She sat me
down in the chair, and she pulled up a stool from the kitchen, sitting directly in front of me.
“What do you do regarding Deity worship?” she asked. “Me?! Nothing! I have a few pictures on
my old TV stand.” “Let me tell you how Srila Prabhupada engaged me in Deity worship.” She
then proceeded to tell me the entire story of her Deities, Sri Sri Radha-Banabehariji, which began
much before Their appearance, beginning with her assignment in India to learn Deity worship
from the Goswamis’ temples in Vrindavan (particularly the Radha-Raman Temple) and her
service of having Deities made for the ISKCON Vrindavan Mandir. She went on to share how
Radha-Banabehari were one of the three perfect sets made, and how Prabhupada had himself
named Them and instructed her and Dina to worship Them for the rest of their lives. She so
humbly said how she was just practicing how to properly serve Them, and how distant a goal it
was to serve Them well. But with the most emphasis, looking me in the eyes with her penetrating
gaze, she told me how important it was to worship Deities. My jaw literally dropped, and I could
not figure out why she was telling me all this. The conversation felt like an hour long. Due to my
confused state, I cannot accurately remember details, just this general outline of the conversation.
I do not remember why it was so important to worship Deities, although she certainly spent a
good amount of time telling me why. All I know is I strongly felt that it was important to her that
it was important to me, and that this was a direct instruction. The details quickly became just
context for the message: you need to worship Deities. She then released me.

As we left and journeyed back to Vancouver, I told my friend Nimesh what happened,
and how I was given a direct instruction. I was just feeling that I had taken her first (albeit
indirect) instruction to heart (to dive into kirtan), and was just beginning to relish it with
unlimited enthusiasm. Now I had been given a completely different instruction, and there were no
ifs, ands, or buts about it. I had a new mission. …
 It was now January 2002, and this year became one of the most important of my life for
many reasons. Even upon arrival in Vancouver, on the way to Florida, Nimesh and I had
wonderful kirtan at every opportunity. Then in Alachua, along with my roommate Gauranga
Kishore, we hosted six spiritual programs a week in our apartment, mostly revolving around
bhajans. It was a special time, during which Krishna gave me so much opportunity to dive into
Krishna Consciousness and get good association. However, I had the itch of Yamuna’s
instruction to me on Deity worship ever present on my mind. Initially, I brought out my
childhood Deities and began worshiping Them, reacquainting myself with making offerings and
performing arati. Yet within my heart I saw Krishna as Govinda, the cowherd boy, with His hand
on His hip and a mischievous, all-knowing smile. My father had worshiped this form of Krishna
and named me after him (Kartamasa). So I decided I needed that form of Krishna in order to
whole heartedly try Deity worship, and resolute in that purpose, I spent a lot of time in prayer.

Then one Sunday evening, I entered the temple gift shop and immediately looked up in
the rafters high above all the merchandise. There, alone and unpainted, were the divine forms of
Sri Sri Krishna-Balarama. I could not see any features, just Their tribhanga curving forms. My
heart leaped; there They were, the most perfect forms of the Lord for me to worship. I couldn’t
have ever conceived of anything more suitable or perfect. Unfortunately, the proprietor told me
they were not for sale—that she had brought them from Vrindavan to become her personal
Deities. I became despondent, and seeing this, my parents and friends convinced the owner to
give Them to me. Their Lordships were installed on the weekend of April 14, 2002.

Yamuna’s Health Retreat and Alachua Visit — Summer

2002

By the summer of 2002, Yamuna was experiencing some health issues. Through the
kindness of friends Devarshi and Nirmala in Alachua and Henry Schoellkopf in Washington DC,
she spent sixty-three days at a raw food institute in Florida, which improved her health
significantly. Whenever Yamuna tried a new culinary modality, she created new
recipes—invariably improvements on what she had experienced—and even toyed with the idea
of writing a raw food cookbook. Unfortunately, Saranagati’s harsh climate, with its ninety-day
growing season, was impractical for a year-round raw food diet, so she was ultimately forced to
make adjustments. Still, her health remained stable, and she was always grateful for the
experience. After the retreat, she visited the Alachua community and stayed with Nirmala,
Devarshi and their daughter Vani.

Nirmala devi: Yamuna stayed with us for some time after her stay at the Hippocrates
Institute. On the morning she was to leave, she already had her luggage by the door. We chanted,
had breakfast and took her to the airport. When we returned, I went into her room. She had made
a banner from headrest paper from my husband’s chiropractic table which extended across the
entire wall. It brought tears to our eyes and longing to our hearts. I saved this banner, which she
had stayed up to make in her beautiful calligraphy writing. In bigger writing she wrote, “With all
my heart, with my all, Thank you. I carry you with me always.” Then above and below that she
wrote, “Dear Nirmala, Devarshi and Vani, In the wee small hours before departure, the full
spectrum of embracing love, respect, gratitude and honor …” She went on with two full lines
across the wall of what she experienced on this visit. It was heartfelt, genuine and done with love.
One of the many astounding qualities about Yamuna was her gratitude and appreciation. She
didn’t expect anything and appreciated everything! When we visited her she would go all out to
make a wonderful stay, and when she came to us for respite, we tried to do the same, but could
never measure up to her impeccable, creative, Krishna Conscious standard. Yet she magnified
our little service, as she did for everyone. She boosted devotees up to encourage them in their
devotional practices. If you did some service, she would say how much Srila Prabhupada would
appreciate that service, and you would actually get a glimpse of how she lived her life for Srila
Prabhupada.

Vani devi: At six years old it can be hard to appreciate what goes on around you, yet I
remember quite clearly. I was asked to “assist” Auntie Yamuna in the kitchen for a raw feast she
was preparing—stuffed red peppers with a mock cream cheese filling, various types of raw
soaked rice salads, a raw pie topped with beautiful light and fluffy whipped macadamia cream,
and various other preparations, each unique in flavor, color and ingredients. It was my first
experience being utterly fascinated by what you could prepare with food. Every movement, smell
and texture was all new and exciting. The way Auntie Yamuna engaged me and explained to me
and took care to teach me made it a completely unforgettable experience. From that day on she
inspired a spark inside of me to continue to learn to cook and feed the Vaishnavas. She didn’t just
create delicious prasadam, though; she taught cleanliness, Srila Prabhupada’s standard, and she
showed by her example how not to waste any part of Krishna’s creations. As I went to throw
away the pepper seeds, she stopped me and excitedly explained how if I let them dry for a while I
could plant them and grow more peppers. Immediately I proceeded to follow her instructions and
was eager to learn more. She named me “seed saver,” and I felt proud to do a part and re-grow
the peppers. She made every aspect of cooking and all that it could entail possible and exciting.
Sure enough, in time, a beautiful pepper plant grew, and I picked my first pepper with an
overwhelming feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction that it was possible for a little
six-year-old girl to grow peppers for Krishna.
 Yamuna with Kartamasa and the Youth in Alachua

Kartamasa das: Somehow or other, I found out that Yamuna would be in Alachua in
June of 2002. A group of ladies seemed to know Yamuna well, staying very close to her and
engaging her in various programs. Even though I did not know the other ladies well, I felt very,
very close to Yamuna, so I managed to go to one program at Bhadra and Ananga Manjari’s
house. Two days later, I heard that she was at the Alachua temple morning program. I rushed
there just in time to record her leading guru puja. It was the only kirtan I ever saw her lead
standing up with a microphone and dancing. It was a most glorious sight; the entire temple room
was moving up and down the length of the temple with her as she danced. She had her close lady
friends stand next to her, sometimes holding their hands. That kirtan was so much “Yamuna,”
and she was sharing herself with so many devotees that morning. From the rhythmic melodies to
the spontaneity and flow with which she sang, everything about that kirtan was what I learned
over the coming years to be “classic Yamuna.” There was nothing mechanical about it, and the
melodies and style were uniquely her own.
 Since returning to Alachua that year, my main kirtan mentor and inspiration was Bada
Haridas, who so gently and lovingly opened up the doors to the vast storehouse of kirtan and
bhajan melodies, sharing such treasures with youth half his age. Another close kirtan companion
for me was Visvambhara Sheth, who, being immensely talented, had a way of making complex
Aindra tunes very accessible. Both had a natural and contagious love for kirtan. So imagine my
delight when Nirmala and Devarshi arranged for both Bada Hari and Visvambhara to join
Yamuna at their house for an evening of kirtan. My anticipation was off the charts.

I arrived eagerly and set up my recorder. Yamuna gave me so much love that night,
perhaps seeing my joy at having my favorite kirtaniyas together. She sat me very close to her and
spoke so lovingly. Bada Hari began the kirtan, with Visvambhara playing drum. I think Yamuna
was playing kartals, and I was playing a tambourine. The kirtan was ecstatic, and I could not
restrain my tears. Afterward, everyone requested Yamuna to sing. She humbly declined, instead
asking someone else to sing the Nrsimha prayers, which they did. Again, afterwards, everyone
insisted that Yamuna sing. After protesting for some time, she finally began to sing Trinad api
sunicena with genuine humility.

Yamuna then agreed to come to my apartment the next morning for Sri Sri
Krishna-Balarama’s morning program. I was ecstatic. Some months prior, we had started having
youth over for a morning program three days a week. Our largest turnout was always on Sunday
mornings, when a guest disciple of Srila Prabhupada was invited to share their realizations with
the youth.

Yamuna came on June 25, 2002. Internally, I was exploding with pride and joy, for I
could finally share my inspiration and the reason for my changed lifestyle with my friends. No
doubt, my friends were just as eager to meet her, for I had a completely full apartment, spilling
onto the balcony. My mother and Haribhakti’s mother were cooking prasadam in the kitchen,
and other older devotees showed up uninvited. I explained to Yamuna we always began with
greeting the Deities with an arati and kirtan. Somehow she took that to mean greeting the Deities
with the Govindam prayers, so we got a treat everyone is always anxious for—Yamuna singing
the Govindam prayers. Then she led a beautiful kirtan for Krishna-Balarama. It was all so perfect
for me—the one who willed Krishna and Balarama to come, and the Ones who brought Yamuna
into my life were face to face. Fortunately, it was to be the first of many such occasions.
 Following the kirtan, I asked Yamuna to speak on whatever she felt was most important
for us younger devotees to hear and understand. This particular talk has been just that for me ever
since: the most important instructions to hear and understand. The talk revolved around
“enthusiasm, patience and commitment,” and she did not let any of us doze in that talk, for it was
highly interactive. She began by asking everyone to introduce themselves and say what attracts
them to Krishna Consciousness. When I look back on that now, I realize what took me ten years
to get a hint of—she always emphasized the positive aspect of the positive form of Krishna
Consciousness. As each person introduced themselves, Yamuna encouraged them by paralleling
their comments with anecdotes from her own life—mostly Prabhupada stories. She was fully
present—there to give everything she could possibly give in two hours. For instance, if someone
said they liked bhajans, she responded with what Prabhupada said about the bhajans of
Bhaktivinoda Thakur and Narottama das. If someone liked prasadam, she asked for more
specifics, unveiling layers that most minds had never conceived of. Someone mentions bhajans,
and she asks, “What does that word mean to you?” Deity worship? “Why? How?” Basically she
brought us all from unconsciousness to consciousness, and then she was able to give us Krishna
Consciousness. And not just lip-service Krishna Consciousness; she emphasized “the big C word:
commitment.” When she realized none of us had a clue what commitment really meant, she had
us look it up in dictionaries and then discuss how the definitions apply to us. Overall, it was a
most significant time of my life, for she gave me (and I’m sure a few others) the tools with which
to analyze our progress in spiritual life, and a whole lot more awareness.

Kartamasa recorded a telling and sometimes humorous exchange where he tried to bring
up how Yamuna had been instrumental in invoking his attachment to Deity worship. Yet
Yamuna, sensing that he was beginning to praise her, kept interrupting him. For those who knew
Yamuna, this was a standard tactic. She did not like to hear herself being honored, and would
often diffuse it by turning the tables on the person who was attempting to praise her, in this case,
Kartamasa das.

Kartamasa das: Can I just take this opportunity to … say something. Krishna and
Balaramaji—since They have been in my life, I just take care of Them as best I can, in any way.
They’ve taken care of everything else for me, completely, and of course, my friends, too. And I
wanted to thank you very much for getting me started in that. I don’t know if you remember in
January, when I was in Saranagati …

Yamuna: I do. Very well.

Kartamasa das: I was at Bhakti-siddhanta Saraswati Thakur’s Dis-appearance Day.

Yamuna: I remember it very well. Yes.

Kartamasa das: And you sat me down and talked to me about Deity worship.

Yamuna: Just for a … little short while; we did, didn’t we?

Kartamasa das: Well, you told me the whole story of your …

 Yamuna: Yeah.

Kartamasa das: … Deities and …

Yamuna: Yeah.

Kartamasa das: You asked me about what am I doing.

Yamuna: Yeah.

Kartamasa das: And since then Krishna facilitated all this. He put it all in my place …

Yamuna: [deep breath]

Kartamasa das: And it’s been really fulfilling.

Yamuna: Oh, yes, yes.

Kartamasa das: And you also …

Yamuna: Oh, that’s so nice.

Kartamasa das: … started me on bhajans, which is my …

Yamuna: Wow!

Kartamasa das: … life and soul.

Yamuna: Too good! Yes! [laughter] Wooh! Gosh, that’s nice.

Kartamasa das: I was at your …

Yamuna: Just see! Here I’m thinking that you’re bringing me into Krishna
Consciousness, and you’re thinking…. See, that’s what devotees do. When devotees really touch,
then you think that devotee is the one who’s facilitating. And that devotee thinks, “No, this one’s
facilitating,” and that feeling goes on. And you know what? It just gets better and better and
better, and there is no end to it. And that’s what joy feels like. [chuckles] It’s when you have so
much appreciation for that person you’re with, and that person has so much appreciation for the
other person. That mood is just like putting two combustibles together; it just explodes in
transcendental potency. So I feel the same way about your company, Kar. Just the same way; it’s
so exciting to me because we’re off the beaten path. And … Kar just dropped into our lives. [He]
came to Saranagati, and we just had wonderful kirtans. It was very enlivening for both Dina and
me, and so many devotees—just in that short time. Is it now two visits you’ve been there?

Kartamasa das: Recently.

Yamuna: [Our Saranagati] valley is going through some growing pains now. So let’s just
take our focus of this mercy, this grace, this power that you feel in your life, and that I feel in
mine, and just bring it, and inundate.

Churning the Ocean of Bliss — Summer/Fall 2002

On returning to Saranagati from Alachua, a physically rejuvenated Yamuna was even

more “fired up” to spread the glories of chanting, hearing and sharing Krishna bhakti with
devotees—especially the youth. We began evening kirtan programs that summer and started a
Wednesday Caitanya-caritamrta reading which continued throughout our remaining years there
and is maintained to this day by the grace of Rasaraja das. Shortly after Yamuna’s arrival, young
Kartamasa das also came to Saranagati with his Krishna-Balarama Deities. Still working on his
Master’s degree in graduate school, he had miraculously received permission to write his
Master’s thesis on the Saranagati community.

Kartamasa das: I left for Saranagati just days after Yamuna. I was in the midst of
graduate school, but my mind was mostly on Krishna Conscious activities at the time, and
particularly on the source of my motivation: Yamuna and Dina in Saranagati. By nothing less
than Krishna’s kind arrangement, I was granted permission to do my Master’s thesis on the
community of Saranagati, allowing me to spend the summer in Saranagati and get college credit
for it.

One of the first things Yamuna did was announce that we would hold a wonderful festival
on Lord Balarama’s Appearance Day for Kartamasa’s Krishna-Balarama Deities. This had the
desired effect of enthusing so many devotees, and particularly the youth, to focus on specific
services for the celebration. Unbeknownst to Kar and to his future wife, Radhakunda, Yamuna
and I had noticed the similar gentle, mode-of-goodness natures they shared, and although we
usually did not participate in matchmaking per se, we strongly felt that this would be an
auspicious pairing. Yamuna had the idea to engage Radhakunda and her sister Bhavatarini in
sewing the dresses for Krishna and Balarama, and though they felt unqualified, they agreed.
 Radhakunda devi: Yamuna said, “I have to try my very hardest to make the outfit as
perfect as I can because Krishna may see any flaw as my insincerity.” So for her it was like if she
didn’t try her very, very hardest, Krishna would see whatever she didn’t try as insincerity. So
when you make outfits for the Deities, you have to be very precise on measuring Them so the
clothes fit Their forms very nicely. She had us take measurements of their ankles, knees, and
where to put creases so it fits Their forms. So we were thinking that we can’t do this; this is
impossible. But somehow we managed to do it anyway. Then, of course, Yamuna and Dina were
just full of praise—“This is the most beautiful; I can’t believe you made this. Can we have some
of this fabric?”—just so encouraging that it didn’t matter if you botched it like anything; they still
made you feel like you did this most amazing thing.

Radhakunda came several times for fittings with Kartamasa present, and much to our
happiness, the relationship between them blossomed through service to Krishna and Balarama.

Kartamasa das: I remember the first thing they did was give me a focus for the whole
summer: celebrating Balarama’s Appearance Day at Banabehari Mandir. This was to be the first
festival in which I served under them, and in which they showed me how to celebrate a festival.
Everything was about glorifying the Deities, and a new outfit was needed for Them. Separately,
Yamuna and Dina had recruited my future wife, Radhakunda, to make the outfit, and this was
significant because although we had never met, like me, she had acquired a thirst for Yamuna and
Dina’s association. So I brought Krishna-Balarama over to Banabehari Mandir, and Radha,
Yamuna and Dina began taking measurements and having what seemed to be a joyous time
together. I felt a little awkward that an unknown girl was doing so much service for my Deities,
and wasn’t quite sure what to do to reciprocate. All I could think of was to give her
Krishna-Balarama’s maha prasadam as often as possible. So I started dropping off sweet rice,
burfi and fruit either at Radhakunda’s house or Banabehari Mandir. This was also the first time
Krishna-Balarama and Radha-Banabehari were together, and I brought Them a few times
throughout the summer to try on outfit pieces.

It was actually a magical summer. Karnamrita, another enthusiastic kirtaniya, also spent
the summer there, and the youth were also swept up in kirtan, with many evenings spent having
bhajans and kirtan. The elder members of the community began gathering for bhajans on the
dock of the lake on those warm summer evenings, and Yamuna and Dina attended several of
those.
 As the time grew near for Balarama’s Appearance Day, Yamuna and I felt great joy to see
the happiness of Saranagati’s residents—elders and youth—to participate in the festivities. Kar’s
friend, Gauranga Kishore, a soft-spoken brahmachari, came from Alachua, and each morning
they would walk for thirty minutes in the dark to attend the morning program at Banabehari
Mandir. Yamuna and I were always inspired by the pointed and honest inquiries of the youth and
looked forward to our Srimad-Bhagavatam classes with them.

Kartamasa das: It was through those morning programs in the company of Yamuna and
Dina that my old life simply melted away. I remember listening to the Bhagavatam class
discussion and feeling the Absolute Truth seep into me, as if it was the most powerful force in
existence. It was so intense that all my other thoughts, aspirations, daydreams and so on simply
became irrelevant and inconsequential—they just dissipated. It was a true connection to my soul
under all the layers of false identities and clouds of confusion. Tears would just pour out of my
eyes uncontrollably. I remember being aware of it, and questioning why such a thing was
happening. But I couldn’t identify a particular emotion; it was just like a flushing of the old self.
This happened on more than one occasion, but one morning Yamuna actually asked during class
if I was all right, or if I had allergies and needed something. I replied by just putting up my hands
in helplessness, and she said very gravely, “Oh, I see.” And she never mentioned it again. I had
been to so many Bhagavatam classes in my life, but hearing from these realized souls made all
the difference.

Lord Balarama’s Appearance Day Celebration — 2002

The festivities for Lord Balarama’s Appearance Day were held at Banabehari Mandir on
August 22. Yamuna designed the theme around Lord Balarama’s affinity for honey. She engaged
the young girls in making beautiful black and gold bees, which were hung on the ceiling of the
temple room and on the altar. Each attendee was to bring honey to offer to the Lord. As usual,
she meticulously planned each detail of the celebration and schedule to engage and inspire all
ages. In addition to the honey gifts, everyone was asked to make a specific preparation.
 For Radha-Banabehariji, we completed a glorious sky blue silk outfit with
Ganga/Yamuna (gold and silver) jari flower patterns interwoven with black bumblebees.
Yamuna had designed the outfit and commissioned the jari work in Vrindavan in 2000. She also
invited the other Saranagati residents to make similar blue outfits and bring their Deities for the
celebrations.

Kartamasa das: Although Yamuna and Dina consulted me on each aspect of the event,
from what plates to use to the schedule itself, I felt useless, having never witnessed anything like
their level of focus and careful attention to detail. Festival or event planning was something I was
able to witness often in my later association with them, but this was the first time for me, and it
simply blew my mind—it was another level, or to use a Yamuna word, it was in another
“stratosphere.”

Banabehari Mandir was flooded with blissful devotees for Lord Balarama’s festival. Sri
Sri Krishna-Balarama displayed a unique, almost impish aspect, and Their outfit was lovely. Sri
Sri Radha-Banabehari were exquisite, as were the other Deities in Their blue-colored dresses.
Years later, Yamuna would again design and commission blue dresses in Vrindavan for all of the
Deities in the community for a grand parrot-themed festival, but this was her first Saranagati
theme for Lord Balarama—bees and honey.
 Kartamasa das: The festival was absolutely tremendous. Virtually everyone in
attendance was involved in some way, whether it was in singing, speaking about Balarama, or
doing some other service. It mostly revolved around kirtan, but there was some time to share
appreciation of Lord Balarama. I remember being so overwhelmed by the mood of the festival
(and a big part of that was being involved in all the planning service in the weeks leading up to
it), that I got too emotional when it was my turn to speak about Balarama. The taps had been
opened in the Bhagavatam classes early, and they were still left on.

Yamuna and Dina and a few servers honored the Balarama feast after everyone else was
done at around 9 PM. Only a few of the youth remained at Banabehari Mandir. The full August
moon was directly shining on us, and we were reflecting on the program. I distinctly remember
bubbling over with an ecstasy I had never felt before and telling Yamuna, “It just doesn’t get any
better than this!” But to my surprise, she nonchalantly replied, “Oh yes, it does. It gets better. It
just keeps getting better and better.” At the time, I remember feeling a little confused, since it
seemed like we did everything we possibly could to make a great festival. But over the years, I
understood that it wasn’t about the externals of the festivals she was talking about, but that
internal connection that is made through serving the Lord together.

We were invited to come in and sing the Deities to bed. Krishna and Balarama spent the
night there as well. About four or five of us went inside the temple room, and while Dina put the
Deities to sleep, Yamuna sang Jaya Radha Madhava. I remember my mind challenging why she
would sing Jaya Radha Madhava on Balarama’s Appearance Day, but over the years I noticed
that she often sang that to put Radha-Banabehari to sleep. After that kirtan, Yamuna encouraged
each of us for our services and for sharing the festival together. It was the kind of sweet, personal
and loving exchange that endeared her to so many devotees around the world.

Singing Jaya Radha Madhava

 Yamuna and Radhakunda reflecting on the festival

Vancouver Rathayatra — 2002

Almost immediately following the Bala-rama festival, the Saranagati devotees and
friends, including Yamuna and I, went to Vancouver to attend the Rathayatra on August 25.
Throughout the festival Yamuna was perpetually surrounded by crowds and graciously interacted
with as many people as possible. Later, the youth who were chanting on the festival stage,
including Gauravani, Karnamrita and others, somehow convinced her to lead kirtan with them,
something she rarely did among crowds.

Kartamasa das: The kirtan was exquisite; it was so good that I was constantly worried
that I wouldn’t be able to treasure it forever as a recording. So I would periodically run offstage
and check that my recorder was still plugged into the mixer, that it wasn’t low on battery, and so
on. Regardless, sitting next to Yamuna as she shared her incredibly soulful singing with so many
people, with so much ease, made me feel like the most fortunate person in the world. During that
kirtan, I was frequently stunned by how beautiful her singing was, and how she had a most
unique groove, rhythm and melody style. For instance, she could transform any standard melody
into something completely new and fresh, and with her own signature rhythm, which to me
always made me feel like I was dancing in my heart (and I liked to think that she was too). The
kirtan swept the crowd (of mostly devotees) off its feet, and got everyone dancing. With
Radhakunda and the other Saranagati girls dancing behind me, and Yamuna leading the kirtan
next to me, I felt like I had a new home, and that my Alachua days were numbered. Later that
night, I asked Radhakunda if we could keep in touch, and within two years, we were married.

Radhakunda devi’s Diary: AUGUST 26, 2002—Yamuna, Karnam and Gauravani led
an absolutely fantastic kirtan! Oh, it was totally ecstatic! I think I must have danced for four
hours straight. My legs finally refused to function properly, and my knees were all cramping up,
so I had to stop, unfortunately. But it was definitely one of the highlights of my year!

On our drive back to Saranagati, Yamuna and I discussed the power of kirtan and how
Srila Prabhupada, through the purity of his own example, had given this precious gift to the
disenfranchised youth of the West. To see a new generation diving into the nectar ocean of
Krishna kirtan gave Yamuna more joy than she could express. Over the years, there was rarely a
kirtan or bhajan in which she did not shed tears of poignancy and happiness. In her Vyasa Puja
offering, written soon after our return from Vancouver, Yamuna offered this prayer to Srila
Prabhupada:

I remember how kirtan was so intense and joyous in your presence. How time and place
dissolved in those kirtans. How your thumbs lifted off the surface of your kartals as they sizzled
in sound, and how your vocal cords and mouth vibrated and extended as you filled a space with
hauntingly beautiful transcendental sound vibrations. I remember losing myself in that sound and
wishing never to leave this space or your presence. In this connection, I pray, even if only one
more time, to hold the microphone for you as you chant your favorite Vaishnava prayer—Hari
Hari Biphale—as experienced that final time at Akash Ganga in Mumbai.
 Radhakunda devi’s Diary: NOVEMBER 6, 2002—It’s Srila Prabhupada’s
Disappearance Day tomorrow, and Yamuna wants me to sing one of Prabhupada’s bhajans with
them, but I really don’t think I should. My devotion for Prabhupada is not even a small fraction
compared to theirs, and so I feel a bit like a fake. But she asked, and so I find it too difficult to
refuse; I hope Srila Prabhupada can forgive me. I’m such a pretender. I’ve been going to Yamuna
and Dina’s morning programs for a few days now, and it’s just what I needed! I feel refreshed
and inspired by their atmosphere. Their temple and ashram is like the cure for all dissatisfaction!

NOVEMBER 10, 2002—Tomorrow Yamuna and Dina are having a little festival with all
the kids for Gopasthami, the day when Krishna became old enough to take care of the cows. So
I’m going over there at 10:00 AM to help; we are all supposed to dress up as cowherd boys. It
should be lots of fun! I’m also getting up for mangal arati. Srila Prabhupada’s Disappearance
Day was especially sweet. I went early to practice the bhajan but only Lilamrita was there, so I
helped her decorate. It was really fun. After that everyone came for their offerings. Yamuna’s
offering was so beautiful, it made me cry. She asked me to say something too, but I couldn’t. I
felt really bad—I always do when I refuse to do something Yamuna and Dina ask me to do. But
she got me for it. After everything was over except the last kirtan, she came up to me and asked
me to lead the Samsara prayers! I almost died, but she led with me, thank God, and then in the
middle, she asked me to carry on. I almost died again, but she was merciful and only made me
sing Jai Prabhupada once alone. It was an incredibly beautiful tune, the whole prayer—one that I
never heard before.

NOVEMBER 11, 2002—This day was the most fun I have ever had in a long time! I
listened to Radhanath Swami give a lecture on Gopasthami for a few hours—so good and
inspiring to hear—then I went to Yamuna and Dina’s for the little festival. I don’t know how to
describe the mood there—the simple pure joy of thinking of Krishna and Balarama on this day. It
was such a deep-rooted satisfaction this simple, beautiful festival gave me; I have experienced a
glimpse of what it must be like to be absorbed in these pastimes all the time. First we made cows
out of fresh cow dung, and then decorated them with stones and candles. Then we offered our
cows to the Deities, as well as cow dung sticks, and we sang Govinda Jaya Jaya, Gopala Jaya
Jaya. It was so simple and sweet, no big kirtan leaders banging drums, banging kartals, just a
bunch of very enthusiastic little kids. I have never had a kirtan like that before, with little kids,
where every single person wants to be there singing for Krishna. Then we went around the cows,
and I told the story of Gopasthami, as I heard it from Radhanath Swami. I didn’t tell it nearly well
enough to do it justice, but it’s such an amazing sweet story that it was good anyway, and the kids
were right into it. I just hope I can remember the story always; it’s such a beautiful one. Then we
finally had lunch and shared it with each other. I can’t think of any festival that would be more
appropriate to celebrate with Krishna and Balarama then this one. It has everything in it, and I’m
so glad we did it! I went home feeling all joyful, excited, satisfied.

Offering cow-dung cows to the Deities

An Inspiration for the Alachua Youth

Kartamasa das: Upon returning to Alachua, my aim was to replicate what I was
experiencing in Saranagati. The only way I knew to do that was to gather for hearing and
chanting as much as possible, and to have very honest discussions with those who joined us.
Although we had around six public programs a week in my apartment, a group of three youth
were regular attendees and joined in the hosting through service. Gauranga Kishore lived in the
living room and cooked elaborate and varied prasadam. Haribhakti brought prasadam for every
program and was our mridanga player. Ramya was a professional singer and a bhajan fanatic.
She also had Gaura-Nitai Deities carved exactly like Krishna-Balarama. Together we tried to
practice Krishna Consciousness as Gauranga and I had experienced it that summer in Saranagati.
As a group, we were so thirsty for kirtan that we would take every opportunity to share it
together. And it was all always right in front of Krishna-Balarama. Soon enough, we were all
convinced that we needed to be in Saranagati as soon as possible, for that was the source of this
flowing river of Krishna Conscious momentum. The soonest we could make it back was our
winter break in December 2002. Haribhakti’s friend Vrindavan came as well.

I remember we had kirtan before we left, kirtan when we arrived in Vancouver, kirtan
during the drive up and kirtan when we got to Saranagati. Our enthusiasm was so strong to be
with Yamuna and Dina. We were joined by Neem (Nimesh) for the duration of the holidays, and
were kindly hosted by Bala Krishna and Harilila. This was the first time we all went to
Banabehari Mandir more in the mood of students—a little more humble and receptive. We had
such wonderful classes and kirtans again. One highlight was that each of us got to chant on
Yamuna’s initiation beads—the famous “red beads.”

The Alachua group at Banabehari Mandir

And of course, we got to share incredible kirtan with Yamuna and Dina. I believe this was
when they first introduced us to the English prayers Saragrahi Vaishnava and Adore Ye All.
These prayers went right to the core of my heart, affecting me so deeply, not only because what
was being said in them, but mostly for the love with which they were sung by Yamuna and Dina.
They had parts of them memorized, and they added “loving” to the refrain “His Divine Grace”
making it “His Divine Loving Grace.” I can’t describe the extent to which Saragrahi Vaishnava
opened up my heart to Bhaktivinoda Thakur. I remember thinking that whoever wrote that poem
is the most profound thinker in the history of the world, and how it was the answer to unity in the
world, at least in the religious sphere. But I cannot stress enough how it was mostly the mood of
how these songs were delivered that most crumbled my hard heart. It was like the greatest
reverence saturated with the deepest familial love. Yamuna had us sing Saragrahi Vaishnava at
the New Year’s Eve gathering that year. This was when she empowered me to play harmonium
or keyboard. I considered myself totally unqualified and never aspired to play harmonium, but
she encouraged/insisted and made it seem like it wasn’t even a thought to refuse.

“Markine Bhagavat Dharma” — A Soulful Beginning to

2003

At that time in Saranagati, with no phones (no nearby cell towers) and no internet, we
went into the town of Ashcroft once a week to use its public internet service. Because contacting
us was problematic, people would often just come to Banabehari Mandir unannounced,
sometimes late or at inconvenient times. If I expressed frustration to Yamuna that we had just
taken rest or were otherwise engaged, she emphatically reminded me that it was our duty to
receive anyone who came as though Krishna Himself had sent them. This service mood, learned
from Srila Prabhupada, was fundamental to Yamuna devi, and people were often surprised at
how approachable and unaffected she was. This was never more evident than in her support and
encouragement of young devotees in their Krishna Consciousness.

That summer Karnamrita had asked to record a bhajan with Yamuna, and she agreed. So
early in the new year, she arrived with an animated, effervescent young devotee from New
Vrindavan, Bhakta Eli, who acted as the recording engineer. I had heard Karnamrita sing earlier
that summer and was surprised at how similar her voice was to Yamuna’s—rich and vibrant with
a wide vocal range. Yet Yamuna had not recorded for many years, and she chose an impossibly
difficult prayer—Srila Prabhupada’s Markine Bhagavat Dharma, written in Boston Harbor in
1965 (which also included a series of Sanskrit verses). As Karnamrita was a perfectionist, and
Bhakta Eli new in the recording engineer service, the practices and actual recording took many
days, much to my happiness. I can still immediately recollect those prayerful stanzas of Srila
Prabhupada’s heartfelt plea to Lord Krishna in their beautiful and resonant voices.

Nitai das (then Bhakta Eli): I first met Yamuna devi in the winter of 2002 while assisting
Karnamrita dasi in an audio recording project she was doing for her university degree. It was a
cold, dark winter in the barren tundra of northern Canada where they lived, but as I entered their
divine abode, the warmth of bhakti quickly overrode any external discomfort. Their simple straw
bale home was the perfection of Srila Prabhupada’s vision for simple living in the rural country.
Built according to the highest standards of Vastu, the temple space filled about 30% of their
home. Elaborate devotional woodwork, glasswork and metalwork filled the space with mantras,
prayers and spiritual designs, which seemed to extend in all directions. It seemed to have maha
prasadam of different sorts embedded into the walls and corners—Prabhupada’s shoes, his brass
cooker, a doorknob from one of the rooms at Radha-Damodara temple, and various other
branches, leaves, dust and sacred elements from the dhama. Their ashram itself radiated
Vrindavan.
 Nitai das, who passed away soon after Yamuna devi, became a valued young friend over
the years, and often came to Saranagati and Banabehari Mandir. Yamuna lightheartedly recalled
that he would often enter the ashram with the words, “And then Radhanath Swami said …” That
natural spontaneity and exuberance were part of what endeared him to us. Later, Nitai and his
talented wife, Mandali, organized prasadam distribution programs at massive festivals, and he
often called on Yamuna for menu and recipe advice.

Nitai das at Banabehari Mandir

Nitai das: One of the first gifts I gave to [Yamuna and Dina] was an MP3 CD player and
a few dozen CDs, as these were the days before iPods were on the market. They listened to
hundreds of lectures that I kept sending. They would relish them and keep asking for more
Radhanath Swami lectures.

Yamuna: First, thank you big time for the MP3 feast. We are full-fledged addicts for
these MP3s. They are like water for a dying man in the desert. (EMAIL TO NITAI)

Nitai das: They were listening to the 2002 Vrindavan Yatra lecture series, which is
around forty hours of lectures; and they were listening on and off for several months. When they
got to the last lecture they were overwhelmed by the story of Ghanashyam Baba, and were deeply
inspired, as they thought that this lecture would be a great reintroduction for [Yamuna’s] sister,
Janaki, who hadn’t been so involved in Krishna Consciousness for many years. I sent the CD of
that lecture to Janaki, and it invoked a response out of her that she was finally beginning to
understand the deep meaning of selfless devotion; and it inspired her to go and meet Radhanath
Swami the following year when he visited the area.

Bala Gopal devi: Over the years, one of the things I appreciated most about [Yamuna]
was that so many people go through so much, and she definitely suffered so much—it can be
such a male-orientated society. Someone of her intelligence and ability can become very
frustrated, and at times it was very frustrating for her, yet she always dug inside and found that
inner strength—how to go deeper into her chanting. She got into chanting and kirtan I would say
ten years before people grabbed the concept in our society. She was starting that way back when
we went to visit her in Saranagati back in 2002. She was well into kirtans, and they had this
amazing schedule, waking up at 2 AM so they could really meditate on chanting their rounds. It
was quite revolutionary.

The diary entries and reflections of devotees on these pages are merely a representation of
Yamuna devi’s impact on the devotional lives of people everywhere. They also present a
“Year-in-the-Life” scenario of her early years in Saranagati and the burgeoning effect of the
kirtans, classes and sanga, especially on the youth. Yamuna could also see how enthusiastic the
younger children in Saranagati were for devotional activities, and she made a concerted effort to
encourage their natural, playful bhakti. This would manifest in extraordinary ways in the years to
come. She also taught calligraphy and gave special cooking classes. When the summer camp
programs began, she thought of imaginative and entertaining ways to enthuse the children. She
engaged them in painting a new sign for the entrance to Saranagati. And underpinning it all was
the constant current of glorious kirtan.

A Reminder of Nature’s Fury — The Fire of 2003

Forest fires are always a threat in dry, heavily-forested areas, and British Columbia was
no exception. Almost every year at least one fire, usually started by dry lightning, appeared on
the mountains surrounding Saranagati. However, the summer of 2003 created a perfect storm of
weather conditions which caused epic fires in British Columbia—one of which nearly torched our
valley.

Bada Haridas had just visited Saranagati, and we spent many blissful and unforgettable
hours immersed in bhajans and kirtan with him and many of the youth he so inspired through his
chanting. As he prepared to leave, he gave a demo CD to us. With most of Saranagati’s residents
at the Vancouver Rathayatra, including Yamuna, I sat sewing in Banabehari Mandir one
morning, deeply immersed in one prayer from the CD—Gauranga Tumi More, by Vasudeva
Ghosh. This prayer is a powerful appeal for the mercy of Lord Chaitanya, and just as it neared the
end—“Since I have tightly grasped hold of Your feet, please keep me here by always bestowing
their soothing shade”—someone began pounding on the front door. Startled, I opened the door to
find a policeman standing with a halo of thick black smoke rising from the mountain behind him.
He calmly and simply said, “You have thirty minutes to take what is important and evacuate.” On
reflection, it was certainly Krishna’s mercy that Yamuna was not there, because she was usually
more emotional than me. Yet I found myself reacting in an almost comically frantic way. I
collected the Deities and Prabhupada with a few of Their clothes, and laid Them carefully in
Their carrying cases on the seat of the truck; then I collected Prabhupada’s cooker and shoes and
a few other treasures. I put the dog in the truck bed and left, with no clothes for myself or
Yamuna, no money, no important papers—nothing.
 The view from Banabehari Mandir looking northeast

Fortunately, the winds changed for some time, and the next day when Yamuna came
back, they allowed us to briefly return to bring out more belongings. Yamuna and I then retrieved
all of her papers and notebooks, Deity book, some furnishings, pictures and other valuables. We
had built Banabehari Mandir with the possibility of fires in mind, and even the Fire Inspector told
us it was the most fireproof property in the valley. Yet this fire was massive and ferocious. As we
drove down the mountain and reached the highway, the rearview mirror was bright red because
the whole mountain was on fire. Unfortunately, in our haste, the bed of the truck opened as we
drove and many things flew from the truck, including some of Yamuna’s reference materials for
writing her memoir. For a long time she was disturbed by this, taking it as a sign that Krishna did
not sanction her writing project.

The Venables Valley fire, as it came to be known, eventually burned over 40 square
miles. It was one of five major fires occurring near the same time, one of which destroyed over
250 homes in Kelowna. Of course, by Krishna’s mercy the valley was not affected, due to the
tireless and selfless efforts of the firefighters. Later I reflected on Gauranga Tumi More and the
fact that the mercy of Lord Chaitanya can manifest in unforeseen ways. We were forced to look
into the mirror of our hearts, at what is important—and further develop detachment from what is
not.

The next year, as I stood outside of Banabehari Mandir welcoming devotees to the
Wednesday Caitanya-caritamrta class, a bolt of lightning came out of a nearly clear, rain-free
sky and struck the mountain behind the ashram. After the class, I saw that a fire had begun at the
site. By then we had spotty cell phone service, and I called the forest fire emergency number we
all kept close at hand. Within forty-five minutes a massive plane dropped fire retardant in several
passes, which contained the fire until the helicopters came at first light and put it out. Needless to
say, everyone in Saranagati appreciated the firefighters so much that whenever they came in their
helicopters or trucks, devotees would bring them cookies and other prasadam.
 Lessons on Srila Prabhupada’s Cooker

Every year, the observance of Srila Prabhupada’s appearance and dis-appearance was
especially difficult for Yamuna, magnifying her feelings of separation from him, as it did for
many of his disciples. For many years, Yamuna had prepared an offering to him on these days by
cooking his favorite preparations in his own cooker. In 2003, she wanted to honor Srila
Prabhupada by sharing the experience with others, while also sharing Srila Prabhupada’s
instructions and standard for observing the appearance and disappearance days of great Acharyas.
Afterward, Yamuna wrote a synopsis of the event, which she sent to friends around the world.

Yamuna: Twenty-six years ago a group of saintly souls sent Srila Prabhupada’s brass
cooker into my care. Since then, as far as possible, on his appearance or disappearance days, we
at Radha-Banabehari Mandir try to prepare his noon meal with his brilliantly shining cooker. All
these years we have done this alone. But this year, as a noon program had not been arranged by
others, and Srila Prabhupada clearly wished this to happen on such days, I invited any interested
devotees in the valley to come to Radha-Banabehari Mandir and cook for Srila Prabhupada in his
cooker.
 In advance I requested only that anyone interested in tasting this experience should do
two things: be prompt and wear clean cloth. For latecomers, I explained with a note at the door
that today we would all go back in time to physically cook for Srila Prabhupada. No talking
except for service, and a full mood of prayer to somehow attentively prepare the meal in such a
way as to bring him pleasure. Try for full focus, clear, pure, honest, rich, quality loving devotion.

We began by standing in front of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari, recited the Om ajnana

prayers and individually prayed to engage in this service with full attention and devotion. Then
we washed hands, feet and mouth and immediately set out to prepare dishes to place in the tiered
steamers. Engagements included cutting of vegetables, preparing the wood stove, assembling
masala mixtures for toasting and grinding, grinding fresh paste masalas, ginger and chili pastes,
stem fresh herbs and make chapati doughs.

As thirteen people ended up coming, our tiny ashram kitchen and preparation area were
filled to the brim. I set up pens and paper to take notes. We used two steamers—Srila
Prabhupada’s cooker, and a 14-inch diameter, three-tiered steamer with small steel inserts.

Menu for Srila Prabhupada’s Disappearance Day in Cooker:

Bottom: Gingered Whole Mung Dal with Tomato and Fresh Garam Masala.

Center: Cubed Eggplant and Yellow Bell Pepper chunks to be made into Sweet and Sour
Eggplant—recipe in Lord Krishna’s Cuisine.

Top: Steamed Potato to later be pan-fried with hing, ginger, chilies, haldi, tej patta, salt
and pepper, lime juice, cilantro.

Large Steamer:
 Bottom: Barely Sprouted Chickpeas cooked and finished off with a cilantro-infused
South Indian Coconut Chutney (sprouted chickpeas cook wonderfully in 45 minutes in steamer
cuisine).

Center Tier: Three individual tiffins: one with Dilled Zucchini; one with Shukta
ingredients; one with Cauliflower Florets in an Almond Broth.

Top: Plain double-steamed rice. (Soaked rice overnight, drained, and prepared in separate
pot at a ratio of 1 part rice to 1-1/3 parts water. Amazing long, fluffy grains cooked to perfection.
Steam it all for 40 minutes on just the right heat.)

Meanwhile, prepare garam masalas, panir chapati dough and plain chapati dough with
freshly milled flour; prepare plate with lime slice, two kinds of freshly-milled pepper and two
kinds of salt. Fry karela slices. Add a bowl of plain yogurt.

In precisely 1½ hours, the plate was ready to offer. While Srila Prabhupada ate, we sang
the bhoga arati prayers, recited Gayatri, chanted japa, then kirtan, then pushpa flower offerings,
then guru puja at noon sharp.

As often happens when intent is genuine and sincere, these prasadam dishes were
beautiful to look at, fragrant in diversity, infused with goodness and blessed by Srila
Prabhupada’s touch—all this and much more. Magic. Then all present respected tastes of the
meal in sweet silence, absorbed in relishing, and concentrated on the mercy of this simple
offering of love from the assembled devotees.

Narayani devi: We were invited to Yamuna’s and Dinatarini’s [Radha-Banabehari

Mandir] to honor this special day. We all had the opportunity to participate in cooking a feast in
Srila Prabhupada’s original multi-tiered cooker. We cooked dal, rice and sabji; then Yamuna
offered it. Then we all honored prasadam together. It was wonderful. Yamuna told us how Srila
Prabhupada liked that all of the cooking pots be scrubbed and clean and shiny. So now when I
cook and then do the dishes, I am always reminded of this event, and I meditate on pleasing Srila
Prabhupada by keeping my cooking pots sparkly and shiny clean!

Nitai das: Her mastery of this art was greatly enhanced by her deep absorption in prayer.
She would have us all chant together, focused on the series of guru pranam prayers, and the
whole meditation of cooking was a very serious endeavor. There was no small talk or chitchat
unless it was a question directly related to the preparation you were assisting with. Most of the
times I assisted, it wasn’t a major holiday. She would send emails of the feasts and the festival
outline they would have.
 Fanning the Flames of Positive Attachment to the Positive
Form — 2004

While Yamuna devi had originally moved to Saranagati to explore a more rural
“simple-living, high-thinking” Krishna Conscious life, by 2004 Banabehari Mandir was receiving
visitors from around the world, fuelled in large part by the word-of-mouth enthusiasm of the
youth. Over the succeeding years, we were often amused at the irony that while residing in or
near major cities, Banabehari Mandir had never had the sheer numbers of guests who were now
finding their way to the backwoods of Canada. Within Saranagati itself, more gatherings were
being held around the community to chant bhajans and hold kirtan, and many adult residents
were enthusiastic participants.

Many of the youth who came to Banabehari Mandir were brought by friends who had
visited before. While all of them were welcomed and appreciated, some left an indelible
impression on Yamuna and my hearts. One such devotee was the beautiful and talented daughter
of our dear friend Guru Carana Padma devi from England, who Yamuna referred to as “jewel
Jahnavi.”

Jahnavi devi: I was eighteen when I finally met [Yamuna and Dina] again. My mum
heard that Dina needed to get from Vancouver to Saranagati and offered to drive her. We could
only escape from our family for twenty-four hours, but my mum assured me the long drive would
be well worth it, and we rented a car for the occasion.

The road up to Saranagati passes first through areas of fertile farmland—acres of

blueberries and sweet corn—traveling alongside the rushing Thompson River. Eventually the
greenery gives way to hard rock and pines, and the moist air becomes dry and crisp. We arrived
after four hours and drove to Bhakti Kutir, the home of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari and the place
where Yamuna and Dina live. I had butterflies in my stomach. I didn’t know what to expect or
what to do. My understanding of etiquette told me that a devotee of such a caliber should be
respected very highly, but I didn’t know how this should translate practically. I didn’t know that
this was a totally unique situation. The first thing I saw after entering the front yard was a small
arrangement of stones. There were about thirty—some light, some streaked and some black—all
smooth and oval shaped. A large one in the center was hand-painted “Lake of Vaishnava Jewels,”
and each stone was painted with a different Vaishnava quality. I was charmed instantly by the
rare combination of artistry and humble devotion in this small creation.
 We crossed the front porch of the single-floor adobe structure and knocked on the door. It
was decorated with stained glass paintings of tilak and hands holding bunches of flowers. An
excited voice called out “Hariiiiiibol,” from inside, and in quick succession, the door was flung
open, there was a flurry of rose petals, and we were enveloped in the most soft, loving embrace I
think I have ever experienced. Yamuna was not so tall—much shorter than me—but she exuded
the most powerful presence—simultaneously strong, yet extremely feminine. She looked at us
both and exclaimed in so much happiness to see my mum after decades. Then she gravely took
our hands and pulled us in front of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari. A sweet coolness radiated from
Their altar. Everything was gleaming and suffused with bhakti. I was already overwhelmed after
just twenty minutes. Prasadam followed immediately—a meal so nourishing and tasty, my
worries melted away. The power of the love and devotion in everything was effortlessly palpable.
 Later that evening some devotees came over for their regular weekly reading of
Caitanya-caritamrta. I was struck by how deeply absorbed Yamuna was. She had her eyes
closed, and as she listened, the occasional tear would roll down her cheek. I was raised to be wary
of expressions of deep emotion in a devotional context, but looking at her I felt complete
conviction in my heart that her feeling was pure, spontaneous and genuine. She hardly seemed to
notice what was going on, totally fixated on the pastime of Lord Chaitanya and His associates.
Later that night, as she put us to bed, she pulled out a wooden box and announced that she was
giving us a special good night surprise. “What is it?” I asked. “You’ll see,” she said mysteriously.
In the small “Blue Lotus” cabin that stood close to the ashram, she shook the box and set it down.
Soft, deep bell tones began to emerge from within the music box, playing as she checked that we
had everything and then left, wishing us “sweet Krishna dreams.”

The next morning we attended the sublime morning program and feasted on a breakfast of
cinnamon French toast with fresh peaches, all served with incredible love and care. As we spoke
for the last time over breakfast, both Yamuna and Dina asked me questions about myself, and I
was taken aback by their attention and appreciation of everything I said. I wasn’t trying to
impress them, but they kept exclaiming at my maturity and depth, and I realized that they were
expert at seeing potential and encouraging it to no end. I felt honored, blessed, purified and
humbled. As we drove away, I said to my mum, “I feel like we’ve just been in the spiritual
world.”

In those first twenty-four hours, I was able to observe the nature and activities of an
advanced devotee of Krishna. I count these as some of the most profoundly illuminating moments
of my life. Though her way of living was deceptively simple, the attention to detail in every sense
revealed the depth of her love and focus. In the Bhagavatam it is stated that a devotee is a holy
place of pilgrimage—through their own purity, they uplift everyone around them and can even
invest inanimate objects with a sense of deep devotional feeling.

In the ashram of Yamuna and Dinatarini prabhus, I never felt overly formal or
awkward—their presence and the charged atmosphere of service to Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari
was a powerfully uplifting force. Guests would come like tired birds, amazed to find their
consciousness soaring upwards on the thermal of their bhakti. It came easily, naturally.

Over the subsequent years, I would travel long distances by plane and bus to that remote
oasis, always feeling a combination of giddy excitement and deep gratitude upon my arrival. One
day in that space made time stand still. The earthen floor, polished smooth and painted a deep
red; the benches that regularly accommodated scores of guests, hand covered by Yamuna in
vibrant blue, yellow and green cotton—wherever you looked, there was something to remind you
of Krishna: hand-painted renditions of favorite verses on glass; calligraphed records of honored
guests; a brass steamer used to cook for Srila Prabhupada, now standing by the altar garlanded by
a silk kavacha. The altar was immaculate—Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari glowed. I remember the
first time Yamuna and Dina showed me Their outfits, explaining that they had four versions of
each one made—one for each season. Yamuna had extensively studied the art of Deity worship in
Vrindavan, and this was manifest in the details—tiny silver instruments and toys for the Divine
Couple, delicate ornaments, and even finer bhoga offerings. Once I visited during the Indian
monsoon period, and though we were in the far west of Canada, the Deities wore Their monsoon
attire—shot through with silver threads to represent the heavy rainfall.

Another friend of Nitai das, Jean-Paul (Jagannatha Kirtan das), a young college student
new to devotional service, impressed us with his insightful questions and sincere absorption in
Krishna Consciousness. With each passing year, the numbers of youth inspired by the loving yet
undiluted presentation of Krishna bhakti by Yamuna devi continued to grow. She felt both a duty
and commitment to nurture them and try to pass on Krishna Consciousness as Srila Prabhupada
had so carefully nurtured her, and the powerful combination of her soft-hearted, empathetic
nature and uncompromising preaching style changed the hearts of many.

Kartamasa das: If I think of Bhaktivinoda Thakur, I don’t think of him in his babaji
time, but more in his householder time. But Srila Prabhupada I don’t think of in his householder
time; I think [of him] in his sannyasa preaching time. And I am just thinking—this ties to my
next question—the ease of offending Vaishnavas. At the present time, sometimes we criticize
when they are not necessarily manifesting some spiritual potency, but who knows if in the next
forty years, they might be completely empowered Vaishnavas? I don’t know if that is any more
clear.

Yamuna: Well, there are different ways to answer that question, according to the
realization of the hearer. But I would say that it is obvious that we worship the self-manifested
qualities of the Vaishnava according to those qualities. For example, we have in contemporary
times—in our times—the example of people who were not born as Vaishnavas. It has on my birth
certificate that my father was a butcher. I never really met him—I didn’t really know him—so
that is a very low birth. So we have two things. For modern Vaishnavas, we have the physical
birth and the spiritual birth, the diksha birth. So this is what Bhaktisiddhanta fought against so
much. The smarta brahmanas said you must have this certain kind of birth to be considered not
only a brahmana, but a Vaishnava. This was a very big issue in Bhaktisiddhanta’s time,
especially in Vraja. He fought against that.

In the same sense, Prabhupada wasn’t able to start the Krishna Consciousness Movement
with the dynamism in India that later manifested in the West. He tried, but it wasn’t meant to be
at that time. So when he came to the West and initiated both men and women with first and
second initiation and brought them back to India, there were again even Gaudiya Vaishnavas who
found that very difficult to accept. So why is that? Because they couldn’t respect the fact that
those qualities were not manifested. So it is the same question that you have. They were
undergoing the same doubts: How can they be? How can you consider them? They are mlecchas;
they have a terrible birth; their character isn’t good. It is only a name you have put on them:
“They are Vaishnavas,” but how can they be respected?

So we have [some] examples in our Society that any little modicum of service that
someone renders, they are glorified. And any falldown—just pray once again that they return to
service. To the point of serving persons that don’t even practice Krishna Consciousness, just
because they once served; they don’t follow the rules and regulations: you still serve them. So
there is that example. But the obvious answer is that to the degree that a person manifests—we
worship…. I worship everything of my guru. But that is my responsibility as a disciple. There
isn’t anything that I don’t worship about my guru. When you take a guru, you will have to find a
place in your mind to do that by looking at the manifested qualities, not the name. It isn’t the
name “Bhaktivedanta Swami.” It is everything about him. It is his character; it is his essence; it is
his Krishna Consciousness that we worship as a disciple.

In the case of someone like Sacinandana Swami, he openly speaks about times when he
was worshiping Mick Jagger before he was a devotee, and that is nice because he is honest and he
talks about life before Krishna Consciousness. We have to be able to balance those things.
Because if we can use what we learned before we became [committed] devotees, and dovetail
that into the process of becoming Krishna Conscious, that is an asset. If we ignore it, denigrate it,
or don’t confront both our good and bad qualities before taking diksha, then we are losing on that
too. It is a strange thing trying to integrate it, and our generation has had a horrible time doing
that. In the very early days, we kind of denied that we had been born before. Born again. And that
second birth was the only one we paid attention to. But all the baggage that was either good or
bad that we brought before wasn’t put in perspective, and there was some slowness in progress
because of that. So I think it is a process of integration of consciousness on the spiritual platform
that is the key to the answer. In the case of Bhaktivinoda Thakur, again, I see him as when he was
a child—nearly his whole family is wiped out before he is thirteen years old, and he takes on the
responsibility of being a man. This is remarkable. This empowerment came from another kind of
culture and strength that is just remarkable to me. So there is nothing about him or
Bhaktisiddhanta [that is not extraordinary]. So we have our disciplic succession, and you may
have a personal taste and just take those last babaji years and relish them. That is your personal
taste. But for me, there is no difference. (BANABEHARI MANDIR BHAGAVATAM CLASS)

On Yamuna’s birthday that year, she received the following email from Bhakta Eli (Nitai
das):

Dearest Yamuna devi,

On this glorious day of your appearance, I offer my obeisances at your lotus feet again
and again. All glories to your steady devotion and determination to the service of Sri Sri Guru
and Gauranga! All glories to Srila Prabhupada! Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur states in the Kalyana
Kalpa-taru that a Vaishnava is always transcendental, faultless and blissful. They are fond of
chanting Krishna’s Holy Name, indifferent to material enjoyments and very kind to all living
entities. He is devoid of pride, expert in worshiping the Lord and detached from material objects.
They are always without duplicity and attached to relishing the eternal pastimes of the Lord.
Your glorious Vaishnava qualities are so present in your association. Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur
also states in Sajjana-toshani that a Vaishnava is recognized by 26 qualities. Among these, the
quality of full surrender to Krishna is the primary symptom of a Vaishnava. These qualities are
very present in you whenever I have ever had even a little of your association.

Bhakti is so present. When I think of you, I think, “Oh, yes, that is bhakti. That is
Vaishnava.” Srila Prabhupada and Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari have flooded Their mercy upon you.
I pray that I may taste a small drop of this mercy and stay safely as your servant. Hare Krishna.
See you soon. Your eternal servant—Bhakta Eli

In her reply to Nitai’s email, Yamuna wrote:

Yamuna: I am such a rascal example of an aspiring devotee, with so far to go, but do
have some deep desire to become a genuine devotee. [It is] interesting that you mention the
twenty-six qualities of a devotee. As you know, we have water limitations. This year, for Their
Lordships’ pleasure, I am constructing a small pond made of different size rocks—larger rock
walls for the edge of the pond, and rocks in the pond simulating water. Sitting in that lake of
rocks are more rocks calligraphed in both Sanskrit and English with the twenty-six qualities of a
devotee. It is the Pond of Twenty-six Qualities.

The Saranagati community holds an annual Rathayatra at the beginning of July, and that
year Yamuna took on the role of organizing it with her usual careful planning and attention to
detail.

Kartamasa das: This was the most elaborately planned Rathayatra that I can recall. We
had special Sunday Feast presentations and classes leading up to it which included Yamuna and
Visakha doing a slideshow and talk on ISKCON’s early Rathayatras, Uttama doing Jagannatha
lilas, Yamuna singing Jagannatha kirtan, and the regular singing of Jagannathastakam.

Yamuna also tried to plan the parade kirtan based on the Caitanya-caritamrta descriptions
of Lord Chaitanya’s Ratha-yatra kirtans, with several different kirtan parties, each with
designated leaders and instrument players. I remember being so enthused, thinking how we were
doing what Lord Chaitanya had done before, and I remember Yamuna blowing a conch to signal
the start of the parade. But then within minutes, a few senior devotee men (mostly visitors from
Vancouver) completely dissolved all the organization by saying, “What is going on? Why isn’t
everyone in one group in front of the cart? No, I want to be with all my Godbrothers; we should
all be together!” I had been designated to help put Yamuna’s plan into action, but could not
muster enough volume and demonstrativeness to match them, so literally within minutes the
multiple organized kirtan parties were disbanded, and the usual kirtan took place.

This was also the first year there was a major focus on Lord Jagannatha. Yamuna had
conceived of many detailed touches to encourage more devotion and focus than I have ever seen
before—a beautiful decorated pathway for welcoming the Deities into the building, showering
flowers and blowing conches. The menu was all planned by Yamuna, and she also prepared
bagged snacks for the visiting devotees to take home with them.

Yamuna leads the kirtan for the kids’ cart at Saranagati Rathaytra

Yoginath das: Yamuna also started a band. It was called Saranagati Rocks. It was an a
cappella choir, which means no instruments; we would just sing. Except there were two
instruments—one was stones, and the other was sticks. So she orchestrated this kirtan with sticks
and stones. So when the visitors came to Saranagati for Rathayatra, we would serenade them with
the Holy Name in this very unusual style. It was typical in the sense that this was a person who
just loved Krishna Consciousness, and [Yamuna] just made it fun. You didn’t even think you
were performing devotional service. In that case, it just wasn’t the performance with the sticks
and the rocks, it was all the practice, how we would gather and sing together. Always joyful.
 Kartamasa and Radhakunda also arranged a magical summer camp for children, which
included their engaging in creative activities at each residence in Saranagati. The children would
have a scheduled stay at each “stop,” and the householders would engage them in something
creative and entertaining. Near to our ashram they set up an obstacle course which was brilliantly
conceived. Yamuna always made prasadam and thought of inventive activities, while I played a
variation of charades with them.

Summer camp at Banabehari Mandir

A Memorable Visit with Radhanath Swami and Friends

Perhaps due to our remoteness, we did not often have sannyasi guests at Saranagati,
except during Rathayatra. Bhakti-marg Swami, the “Walking Swami,” as Yamuna named him,
came a few times a year in his capacity as co-GBC, and he personally visited each Saranagati
resident. I have a vivid memory one winter of hearing a knock on the door before mangal arati. I
thought I was imagining it, because it was dark and freezing, with near-blizzard conditions and
over two feet of snow on the ground. Again a soft knock, and I cautiously opened the door to find
Bhakti-marg Swami standing there: “Am I late for mangal arati?” Yamuna and I were stunned.
He had walked over three miles in these conditions to get to Banabehari Mandir for mangal arati.
We never forgot that.

Gopal Krishna Swami also came to Saranagati once a year in his capacity as co-GBC. We
all knew it was an austerity for him, because he travels continually and has multiple preaching
engagements at each stop. Without fail he would come to Banabehari Mandir, sit for a few
minutes with us, and say, “Why are you living in this remote place?” Yet, during his short time at
Saranagati, he graciously encouraged the devotees, giving succinct Bhagavad-gita classes and
addressing community issues. Once in New Delhi in 2009, I asked his secretary, Madhava
Mangala devi, if he ever took a break from his busy schedule. She simply replied, “The
Saranagati farm is his break.”
 In July, Radhanath Swami came for the first time to Saranagati. It was a memorable visit
for many reasons, not the least of which was the fact that Yamuna’s sister, Janaki, also came with
her friend Barb, as did Shyamasundara and Malati. Over the years, Yamuna and I had gently
encouraged Janaki in reconnecting to Srila Prabhupada and her devotional life. We visited them
in Oregon twice a year, and they tried to come every year to Saranagati until Janaki’s health
prohibited it. On this occasion, Janaki was thrilled to come because much of her burgeoning
enthusiasm in spiritual life was due to hearing Radhanath Swami’s lecture CDs and through our
own glorification of his devotional qualities. In 2002 Yamuna had purchased a brass Krishna
murti in Florida for Janaki. Later, Janaki met Radhanath Swami in Seattle and was indelibly
touched by his open-hearted warmth and sincerity. After that meeting, Radhanath Swami kindly
arranged for a Radharani murti to be sent from India to join her Krishna.

For his part, Radhanath Swami thought that having Shyamasundara, Malati, Janaki and
Yamuna together was a wonderful opportunity to churn their memories of Srila Prabhupada. But
the temple authority resisted, wanting only to hear Radhanath Swami speak. After some careful
diplomacy, the four of them spoke in the temple room, but for me the sweetest exchanges took
place around the table at Banabehari Mandir. Janaki spoke in her usual unfiltered way, which
worried Yamuna immensely, but Radhanath Swami and the others seemed to enjoy the
exchanges. It was an unforgettable experience, which raised Yamuna’s and my already deep
appreciation for the compassion and sincerity Radhanath Swami so exemplifies.

Radhanath Swami: One time I went there to Saranagati. And with Malati devi and
Shyamasundara, we decided to go, and somehow or other, Yamuna devi and Malati devi
convinced Janaki devi to take a long drive—even with her ill health, to come and join us there.
And of course Yadubara prabhu and Visakha devi were there. And we had prasadam together….
[Yamuna made] about six different flavored chapatis. Incredible. I wish I could remember all the
flavors. There were like mango chapatis, all different flavored chapatis. And each one was
absolutely flaky and tender and delicious in texture, in shape, in the design, in everything. And
Yamuna was just making and making.

I was supposed to give a lecture that night. And I said, “This is such an historical event.
When was the last time that Shyamasundara, Malati, Yamuna and Janaki were all together in the
same place, these four prabhus?” I said, “Please let us have a program tonight where all of you
speak about Srila Prabhupada.” And they said, “No, no. Please, you speak.” And I said, “No, I
can speak anytime. I will speak tomorrow. I am dying of thirst to hear all of you here speak
together. And everyone else will.” Janaki devi said, “No, I have not spoken in public for thirty
years … [and] there are so many devotees here; I will not do it.” I said, “Just sitting at the table
sharing prasadam, you have been sharing so many stories about Prabhupada. Just whatever you
said to us, say it.” She said, “No, no; you are my close friends, and we are sitting together at a
table, but I can’t do it in front of an audience.” And then Yamuna devi said, “Just pretend that it
is just us at the table and just speak.” And ultimately, only Yamuna devi could convince her
younger sister to agree, to break out of that thirty years of isolation and preach Krishna
Consciousness and Prabhupada’s glories. So Janaki devi finally agreed. But then Yamuna devi
said, “But the three of them will speak. I am not going to speak.” I said, “What is this? You
know, it is the four of you.” She said, “How can I speak? I live here. It is presumptuous that with
all these guests here that I speak.” So somehow it went back and forth, and because everybody
wanted her to speak, she surrendered. And that was such a beautiful, historical event. It was
incredible. Shyamasundara was just so expert at churning the nectar from people’s hearts. And I
was just so amazed to see the dynamics between these three sisters, Dinatarini devi, Yamuna devi
and Janaki devi. The dynamics are quite inconceivable.
 The next month, our cherished young friends Kartamasa and Radha-kunda were married
in a beautiful ceremony at Sara-nagati, bringing great happiness to our hearts. When Yamuna and
I went on pilgrimage to India in 2009 with some of the youth, Radha-kunda traveled with us, as
Kar could not come for another week. While staying at the ISKCON Guesthouse in New Delhi, a
devotee approached us bearing a Hindi-language Back to Godhead magazine. Much to our
surprise, its entire front cover was a wedding picture of Kartamasa and Radha-kunda.

On Srimati Radharani’s Appearance Day, we began engaging the young girls in making
flower dresses for Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari—a practice which became a signature event each
year. The younger girls were becoming more focused, and even then their natural devotion and
enthusiastic service mood was evident.
 Adore Ye All the Happy Days — The Bhaktivinoda
Bhajans at Banabehari Mandir

It is difficult to express the life-changing effect that chanting the songbooks of

Bhaktivinoda Thakur from 2005 onward had on the hearts of so many devotees, including
Yamuna and myself. What can be expressed is that of all of the programs and interactions
through the years at Saranagati, these bhajans created an ocean of nectar which the participants
swam in with great happiness. As Yamuna later eloquently wrote in a prayer to Bhaktivinoda
Thakur, he taught us not only the power of prayer, but how to supplicate ourselves before the
Lord in helpless appeal.

Most revered Bhaktivinoda Thakur: Today I fall at your lotus feet because it just occurred
to me that of the many gifts you share through your prayers, the gift you taught me is how to
pray. If anyone read your heartfelt prayers of longing for Krishna, for Lord Chaitanya and for our
own spiritual preceptors, they would not discover that you were a highly-placed government
officer with unsurpassed responsibilities, or that you possessed a large family and dedicated wife,
authored a hundred books on devotional practice, edited several magazines and were a stalwart
defender of Vaishnava dharma. Instead they would find a humble soul begging for the chance to
make progress in spiritual life and begging for the mercy of the Lord and the Vaishnavas. I pray
to you for the ability to increase the sincerity of my prayer from one of pretense to one of actual
sincerity, and I thank you with all my heart for the unparalleled gifts you have given us all.

Kartamasa das: We had been regularly having bhajans either at morning programs or
evening get-togethers. Yamuna’s first idea was to chant right through the small songbook; then
somehow that changed to Bhaktivinoda Thakur’s Saranagati songbook. But before that, we
would gather a few times a week—Yamuna and Dinatarini, Radhakunda, myself, Madhava, and
sometimes Mahasringa—and chant kirtan together. They were the most magical kirtans—so
intimate and humble. It was as if everyone felt they had no qualifications. Even though Yamuna
and Dina had immense experience and qualification, they somehow conveyed a mood that they
were the least qualified and would be thrilled if they could participate, always pushing us to lead
them. As for the rest of us, we really didn’t have any qualifications—it was all new territory—but
they would encourage us to try, and try we all did; and we were all received without judgment or
criticism, but rather embraced as a close-knit kirtan group. We each cherished every individual’s
kirtan, whether it was whoever was leading, Madhava’s drumming, Yamuna’s whompers, Dina’s
tamboura, Radha’s chimes or Mahasringa’s guitar. I remember relishing every single kirtan,
every night. It was amazing, ego-less kirtan. We were all letting it affect us, not coming with any
preconceived notion of what we would do that night or how it would be. I think we were all
surprised how satisfied and infused with joy we were. It literally felt like going from nothing to
the top, from asleep to awake, or dead to alive. Even Madhava, who had never attended a
Banabehari morning program or committed to any other spiritual activity, did not miss a night.
 When we decided on singing through the entire Sara-nagati songbook, we requested
Kartamasa to prepare the melodies and lead us. He was a natural choice because he had studied
under Bada Haridas and was musically gifted. More importantly, he had a beautifully resonant
voice, and the sincere and humble entreaty of his singing deeply touched us all.

Kartamasa das: I would meditate on each song for hours sometimes, trying to be sure a
chosen melody was the absolute right and best one. My approach was if someone who I trusted
like Bada Haridas had already established a melody for a song, I would use that. If that wasn’t the
case, I would try to get a feel for the mood of the song and apply another bhajan melody or even
a mahamantra melody…. Then I would practice them before going to Banabehari Mandir. There
is so much more depth to try to convey, but basically it was a mood of service—trying to
facilitate the relishing of kirtan for Yamuna and Dina.

Listening to the recordings of the 2005 Saranagati songbook has been described by many
as akin to being present in the temple room. The exuberance and absorption of our small group is
palpable—especially Yamuna’s regular joyous “Haribol!”s and “Gauranga!”s Yet this was only
the beginning of the Bhaktivinoda Thakur songbook marathons at Banabehari Mandir; and each
time we began either the Gitavali, Kalyana Kalpa-taru or Saranagati prayers, more devotees
came and tasted the potency of immersion in those prayers. Eventually the sparks of sincerity and
dedication generated from our small 2005 group created a firestorm of pure bliss.

I got such a dose of reality when I put on kirtans from Radha-Banabehari Mandir this
afternoon. They melted my ever- hardening rock of a heart. There is nothing in my life past or
present that compares to those kirtans. I am sooooooo grateful and appreciative for that
association. It is so rare; it’s unbelievable for me, in my present situation, to realize that I had that
opportunity to experience that in your company. The way you sing is so similar to Srila
Prabhupada’s singing, in that it is so whole, unreserved and focused…. So I am so grateful for
your kirtans; my parched heart soaks them up like they are life-giving ambrosia, which of course
they are. Everything about your mood and style I leap in joy in my heart for—your dedication to
kirtan and katha, your sustenance of Srila Prabhupada’s mood, your Krishna kirtan bhakti vilas
premanidana awareness, your Deity worship, your Vaishnava dealings, your ashram purity, and
of course your kindness to obscure and tiny people like us. I cannot wait now for another
opportunity to be there again.

—EMAIL FROM KARTAMASA, OCT. 2005

Dear Kar and Radha,

Pranam Dand[avats]; Jaya Krishna-Balarama.

How many times a day or week I think of you? Not only from sharing the experiences of
the past, but for now as well. Yes, our kirtans remain an all-time high point in sanga. We will
share that forever. Eli has taken up the spiritual gauntlet to do preliminary [work] toward a kirtan
fest. If we can entice Sacinandana Swami to do it, we would crawl to attend.

Onto what stood out to us this [morning]: “From the four types of evidence—Vedic
knowledge, direct experience, traditional wisdom and logical induction—one can understand the
temporary, insubstantial situation of the material world, by which one becomes detached from the
duality of this world.” (Srimad-Bhagavatam 11.19.21)

We aspiring devotees have so many lessons to learn before becoming pure devotees. In
the course of life, we experience untold dualities. Sometimes all our hours are free to engage in
direct devotional service, and because of bad habits, we waste time. Sometimes we engage in
routine engagements far from direct bhakti activities, yet [hanker] deeply for direct pure
devotional activity. And on and on. One thing for sure, these four types of evidence clearly help
the aspiring devotee to understand how unsubstantial mundane activity is. Our position here helps
to see it in a glaring way, and in a bizarre way, [so we are] grateful for that. Eagerly, very
eagerly, looking forward to your company again. Kirtan. Katha. Prasadam. Much love.

Your always friends and servants, Yamuna and Dina

—EMAIL TO KARTAMASA AND RADHAKUNDA, OCT. 24, 2005

Banabehari’s Milkmaids

By 2006, the young girls in Saranagati were just ten to thirteen years old, yet they had
developed an enthusiasm for devotional activities far beyond their years. They were all talented
actors, dancers and singers, and Yamuna and I enjoyed their company immensely. We thought of
ways to engage them—sleepovers, service to the Deities, making garlands and vases,
cooking—and they joyfully engaged in any and all services. These five girls—Kalindi, Haripriya,
Rasa Mandala (Rasa), Kalavati (Kava) and Gopal Nandini—“Banabehari’s Milkmaids”—would
form an integral part of our Bhaktivinoda Thakur bhajans, coming faithfully every day to chant
often difficult prayers, and then frequently leaving while crying tears of joy.

The Banabehari Milkmaids: Haripriya, Kalavati, Gopal, Rasa and Kalindi

Rasa Mandala devi (Milkmaid): I can’t recall why or how we came to the decision to
make this group, but one fateful day, five girls ranging between ten and thirteen years old
gathered at Yamuna and Dinatarini’s ashram to change their lives. We sat around the table and
brainstormed for an hour or so for a name and logo for this group of young girls, and together we
came up with the name Banabehari Milkmaids, with the picture of a backwards cow looking at
you, her tail knocking over a pail of milk, and a stool beside her. That day, so many years ago, we
made T-shirts with Yamuna, but unwittingly, we also created a bond, a relationship, that went
deeper than we could perceive. From then on Yamuna became our teacher, our friend, our second
mother, but most importantly, our spiritual strength and guide.

As a teacher, Yamuna taught us many things, ranging from calligraphy to building paper
houses, but there were a few things we learned in her association that will forever impact our
lives, the first being how to cook. When we began to have cooking classes with her, she would
always make it so entertaining and enjoyable. We would first chant our Om ajnana prayers
before beginning. She started very, very simple—with simply wonderfuls. You might think there
is not much to learn from that, but no, with just simply wonderfuls, she could bring about
important things to learn. We made several kinds—lemon, ginger, carob, vanilla, orange. She
taught us how to analyze the right amount of substance to add to the simply wonderfuls according
to the power of their taste—less orange and ginger, yet more lemon—so they wouldn’t
overpower the rest of the sweet ball. She would intersperse the cooking sometimes with
questions: “What is the most important tool in the kitchen, girls?” And we usually didn’t know
the answer. “Your hands. Your hands are the most important tool in the kitchen. They can kneed
and mix and chop, but most importantly, they can feel; they can feel the consistency of this, the
heat or coolness of that, the texture of this.”

At the end of every class, she would sit down with us and we would hold hands and offer
our preparation, and then she would hand out a bit to each of us and tell us to taste. We would go
around the table and say what we thought it tasted like, what we thought it needed more or less
of, and what we could do the next time. She was so supportive of what we said, so encouraging,
and enthusiastically agreed with all of us. However, the most important thing she stressed to us,
the message we knew was most important to learn from cooking with her, was that we cook for
Krishna. She always told us that the consciousness you are in when you are cooking will be
transferred into your prasadam, and it is the intention and consciousness of the mind that makes
prasadam. I always attributed Yamuna’s superb cooking not only to her experience, but to her
consciousness when she cooked. She was always chanting, always humming, always immersed in
thoughts of pleasing the Lord. She never thought of pleasing herself; it was always for the
pleasure of Krishna, always for Him, and this was the legacy she passed on by making simply
wonderfuls with us.

In the summertime when we had no school, we would come to the morning program. We
would enter the warm, cozy house, lightly glowing orange from the lights strung all the way
around the house in the nook between the ceiling and the walls. Dina would be doing arati, and
Yamuna would be sitting on the far couch, facing the Deities, with her chime instrument, lightly
playing and singing, slowly shaking her head, her eyes closed tightly, relishing the words. We
would join in, and after arati, after she had sweetly recited the prema dvani prayers, including
“All glories to the transcendental mangal arati devotees,” she would exclaim, “Oh, girls, I’m so
happy to see you! You just made my day!”
 The Milkmaids at Banabehari Mandir morning program

Every [time that] Radha-Banabehari were bathed and redressed, we would all engage in
service. We would often team up in pairs for each service, two of us outside on the deck making
vases, two of us cleaning the altar and paraphernalia, and two of us doing whatever else Dina or
Yamuna needed: bringing wood, sweeping the floors, cleaning the Blue Lotus guest cabin. It was
Dina or Yamuna alone who dressed the Deities. After about two hours, we would all come
together with our various services—clean floors, sparkling altar, shining silver cows and
peacocks, phenomenal vases—and put it all together. The Deities would then be set on the altar,
and we would choose a theme for the week. Sometimes it was fruit or little disco balls hanging
from the altar; sometimes it was the silver pond with fish and turtles and floating flower candles;
sometimes it was the raked little sand box; or perhaps all the silver animals flocking about Their
Lordships. We would all decorate the altar together, and then stand back and all exclaim at the
sheer beauty of Radha-Banabehari, surrounded by flowering vases and sweet animals. Yamuna
and Dina would say every week without fail, “They have never looked more beautiful! I have
never seen Them so beautiful; this is even better than last week! They just can’t look any more
beautiful than this!” And Yamuna would stand in front of Their altar, swaying back and forth,
holding our hands, sometimes her head resting on one of our shoulders, and she would be
smiling, and staring at Radha-Banabehari with such love, with so much tenderness and joy, and
more often than not, we would all end with tears in our eyes.
 Kalindi devi (Milkmaid): Once a week we would go to their ashram and help serve the
Deities and clean. Yamuna and Dinatarini were so encouraging. Even if you were just sweeping
the floor, they would be like, “I have never seen the floor more clean in my life. It is so beautiful.
It is so clean. You did such a good job.” And it is just the floor. And you would polish the silver,
and they would be like, “I have never seen the silver more shining before.” You made vases, and
there was so much encouragement. And it made you so much want to please them. You would try
your very best, just to get that encouragement from them. And after anything we did together,
you would walk out, and they would say, “See you in a couple of minutes.” If you went to
mangal arati the next morning, “It is only a couple of minutes away,” even though it is actually
more than that. But that is what it was like for them. Whenever they saw us it was, “We will see
you soon,” or that “We are always together. We are always connected.” … [Yamuna] didn’t
really teach us by specific instructions. Everything she would teach was by example…. Instead of
instructing Srila Prabhupada’s vani, she lived through his vani—his instructions. And she had so
much love for Srila Prabhupada and Krishna. It was impossible not to feel that love yourself.
Suddenly something you have no idea about, she talks about it, and suddenly you are in love with
that—one of the Goswamis, or one of the personalities from the Caitanya-caritamrta, or
anybody. She had so much feeling for everything.
 A Pilgrimage to India and an Unforgettable Wedding

In early February 2006, Yamuna and I went on a month-long pilgrimage to India.

Yamuna had been invited to attend the wedding of Krishna Chandra prabhu’s lovely daughter,
Anjali, and she was thrilled that I would finally meet the devotees she had so appreciated on her
previous visit, and see first hand the wonderful Radha-Gopinatha temple that Radhanath Swami
had developed and nurtured by his example. Needless to say, I was overwhelmed by the temple,
but more importantly, by the sincerity and service attitude of the devotees. We were warmly
received as the guests of Nathji prabhu and Maithili devi—an unforgettable experience on many
levels. Maithili devi, as we came to quickly realize, was a thoughtful, shy and deeply insightful
person, and both Yamuna and I developed a heartfelt connection with her and shared many
wonderful exchanges during our time there.

Krishna Chandra prabhu welcomes Dinatarini and Yamuna

Krishna Chandra prabhu and Radha-priya devi, though extremely busy with wedding
arrangements, graciously took time to welcome us. They were everything Yamuna had
acclaimed—gracious, humble and sincere, as were their children. At the wedding itself, the
largest and most grand I had ever seen, we noticed a tall, aristocratic man standing a few feet
away with palms folded. Wherever we moved, he followed, but said nothing. When we finally
asked if he had a question or some purpose, he said “No, I am simply here to serve you.” This
young man, Mukunda das, and his incomparable wife, Krishna Chandra’s daughter, Radha devi,
would become very dear to both Yamuna and me. Yamuna spoke at the wedding of Anjali and
Krishna Kanai, and we met many new and old friends. Unfortunately, after the wedding, Yamuna
and I became extremely ill and just wanted to disappear and hibernate until we felt well enough
to emerge again. But things are done differently in India, and the ladies came over the next day,
brought chairs into our room, and began talking with us—stopping every now and then to hold a
bucket near our heads as we threw up from nausea. Late that night we also talked to the new
couple and their families, while still suffering from the same sickliness, until they received a call
at 11:00 PM from Radhanath Swami asking them to come to the temple. These were very
different hours than we were used to! Yamuna called the entire experience “out-of-body.”

Yamuna with Radhapriya devi

Fortunately, Yamuna soon recovered and, encouraged by Radhanath Swami, spoke

eloquently about Srila Prabhupada to the assembled devotees. Yamuna’s talks at the
Radha-Gopinatha Temple are available online; but perhaps her overall impressions can best be
understood through an email sent to Kar and Radhakunda.

Dear Treasured Kar and Radha,

Pranam Dand[avats] to you both. Jaya Srila Prabhupada.

Every day since arriving here, you have both been in my heart with intensity. Every day I
feel some regret that you are not here physically with us. I don’t think you have ever experienced
the level of sanga, purity, quality and cleanliness we have been blessed with this time. It is
something wonderful and indescribable, and something that you simply must experience. If we
ever do this again, you absolutely must come with us. In Chowpatty we have friends your age, a
good handful, who are now eager to meet you both. Their company is too extraordinary to bottle
or describe—deep, rich, meaningful, loving, respectful. Each day here has been an incredible
adventure, inside and out. What manifests externally is digested internally with great gratitude.
The quality of devotees in Chowpatty is simply astounding. Never, never, never could I have
imagined such pure-hearted, generous, well-adjusted devotees—in all ashrams. We in the West
pale by comparison. They never push themselves forward, but by example are so extraordinary, it
takes your breath away. We were there for eight days.

—EMAIL TO KARTAMASA AND RADHAKUNDA, FEB. 20, 2006

Krishna Chandra das: [Yamuna] very graciously agreed to attend our daughter’s
marriage. It was in 2006. She was not expecting it, but during the time of the ceremonies, in
addition to Radhanath Swami Maharaja, we requested her to speak a few words, which is not
usual, but which was very special for us. So she agreed, and when she gave her wonderful
instructions to the bridal couple, officially right from that time, she had such an amazing impact
on all the devotees, including myself and our family. I think everyone has said the same thing,
but just because I felt the same way I would like to repeat it. She had that amazing way of
connecting to individuals, to every living entity, as if she was their real well-wisher, very
concerned and very caring. She was to me a great inspiration, and really a personification of
tremendous enthusiasm—tremendous dedication. She was so melodious in everything she
did—not just the singing. In everything she could be very unexpected, but also at the same time,
invariably very, very personal.

Yamuna instructs Anjali (now Karuna Manjari) to follow the ideal example of her mother

Yamuna expressed her gratitude to the assembled devotees before our departure to
Vrindavan. Although they are her personal expressions of gratitude, I felt equally moved and
even overwhelmed by the sincere service mood and dedication of these devotees.

Yamuna: I’d like to say something—that I don’t have words to express my appreciation
to Radhanath Swami for his company. I want to thank so deeply each devotee, especially Krishna
Chandra and Radhapriya and Nathji and Maithili for so wonderfully hosting Dinatarini prabhu
and myself. This place—the Radha-Gopinatha Temple—the first time I experienced it was now
four years ago, and each one of you, all of you are in my heart so strongly, from a distance. And I
appreciate each and every one of you very deeply. The brahmacharis I treasure. They are like the
quality of brahmacharis that I would imagine come from the spiritual world—Narada Muni men.
And the grihasthas and the faces of the women here are so beautiful; they embody so much the
qualities of service and sweetness and chastity and devotion and bhakti, and they are
extraordinary. And the young men I just see as a huge army of powerful preachers. So also the
wonderful one widow that I have left out—Tulasi Manjari, I think is her name—I deeply honor
that ashram that she represents here. There is something so wonderful about Chowpatty and the
balance of the interplay of these ashrams and the quality of service to Their inconceivably
glorious and resplendent archa vigraha forms in this temple. So with all sincerity, I thank you for
your company and pray to Krishna that in this lifetime I have it again.
 In Vrindavan, Yamuna was very happy to be under the attentive care of Bala Gopal and
Dhananjaya das at the MVT property. Bala Gopal had performed miracles with the restaurant
there, and Yamuna was certain of her standards of cleanliness and purity. Each morning we
arrived for Srila Prabhupada’s mangal arati and heard Dhananjaya chanting japa outside his
samadhi; and each day we immersed ourselves in taking the dust of another sacred holy place
within the dhama. Our Godsister Kaumadaki devi, stricken with cancer, was living at the Kirtan
Ashram under the management of Visakha Priya devi, and Yamuna held a Bhagavad-gita
parayana there, with some of the ladies reading through the entire Gita aloud together. She was
ecstatic to again be in Vrindavan—to sit under the tamal tree which held so many memories of
Srila Prabhupada, and to again worship his rooms at Radha-Damodara Mandir. She expressed
some of her feelings in an email:

Now in Vrindavan. Again, just always wishing you were here to experience this as well.
So many wonderful old and new devotees here. Just yesterday, for the first time, met twenty-six
devotees from mainland China—not Hong Kong, but mainland China—all chanting “Halle
Klishna, Halle Lamma,” the “r”s still elusive to them. It is joyous to hear and behold.

Yesterday a group of women went down the Yamuna River in a large boat having kirtan
with many instruments. Too, too wonderful. Today Dina and I are going with a committee to
discuss the renovation and restoration of Srila Prabhupada’s rooms in Sri Radha-Damodara
Mandir. Too much mercy. The return will happen all too soon….

—EMAIL TO KARTAMASA AND RADHAKUNDA, FEB. 20, 2006

“Gitavali” — and the Sweetness of Loving Exchanges

That summer, we began planning the next Bhaktivinoda bhajans—this time Gitavali, his
longest songbook, full of many compelling and blissful glorifications of the Holy Name and the
power of love of Godhead. As we were expecting many guests that summer, we decided to
extend open invitations to anyone who would like to come. A schedule of five nights a week was
set (which meant that a program was held six out of seven days at Banabehari Mandir). What had
been a small group of five the year before now grew increasingly, as more devotees tasted these
nectarean prayers, feelingly led by Kartamasa. Two friends who came from Florida were Nirmala
and Rangavati. Nirmala, gifted in the art of aromatherapy, had provided exquisite essential oil
blends for Radha-Banabehari for years, and these oils were deeply coveted by us for Their
Lordships’ pleasure. Earlier Yamuna had written to them on the birthday of Nirmala’s husband,
Devarshi, and this letter captures her loving and humorous writing style, which invariably
conveyed a Krishna Conscious message within:

Dear Slaghitani Nirm and Dev, Pranam Dand[avats]; Jaya Jaya—well everything worth
glorifying, again and again.

Though I’ve not written much in the last fortnight, know that you are in heart and mind
daily.

On your B’day Dev—in fact even leading up to it—have been sending streaming gift
postulates and well-wishing thoughts. Then on the day itself—I think Dina explained this
morning in Bhagavatam class [from] Canto 3, Chapter 4, Text 33—I found one of those words
not yet registered: “slaghitani.” It means “most glorious.” Hearing this word, my thoughts went
to sharing it with you—a wonderful word to describe you two slaghitani souls, along with chota
slaghitani Vani. Yesterday Kalindi, one of Banabehari’s Milkmaids, brought over a gallon of
milk, of course organic. A sweet gift out of the blue. What is something Krishna really loves that
I have not made for decades? The result was a batch of Saffron-Pistachio Rasa Malai. Hope
you’re sitting down to relish this one. As you read, mentally sending you bowls of chilled,
saffron-hued slaghitani nectar prasadam from the lotus feet of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari. Hmm.
How about it?

This is what Krishna likes, with a taste from the spiritual world. This morning after
bathing Their Lordships, dressing Them in thin silk chiffon sringar with a multi-colored lotus
theme, cleaning the altar, surrounding Them with dramatic vases of multi-hued tulips, Dina
swabbed a dot of two kinds of oil on my wrists. When I went into a literal swoon, she said:
“Nirmala’s—who else?”

Oh, my Lord!—exquisite, subtle, pure, refined oil blends. Another realm of taste so
befitting the Supreme couple of Vraja—creators of all things slaghitani. Those scents, now hours
old, continue to linger on my soul. Thank you for that expert service. We save each of those tiny
bottles you have offered and spread them out for years. Such a wonder, this gift of bhakti-yoga
we have been offered. In truth, how difficult to access it. So many blinkings of our eyelids daily
we spend away from this nectar. But we have been blessed by many blinking eyelid moments
relishing this exchange. Such opulence—an opulence of spiritual love exchanged in the spiritual
realm of Krishna Consciousness. Slaghitani to our past together, our present together and our
future together. Okay, maybe it still seems like a strong improbability that you … will make it up
here.

But what about that miracle element? What seems like an absurdity today can happen
tomorrow. Pray we are soon the recipients of that happening despite the fact that ours is
materially a “No-Facility Zone.” Saranagati still remains a place of prayerful transformation in
the heart. In that mood, have a slaghitani day and expect the miracle. Kirtaniyah sada harih.

—EMAIL TO DEVARSHI AND NIRMALA, MAY 17, 2006

Rangavati devi: The contagious joy and enthusiasm of Banabehari Mandir came from
the strong hearing and chanting done by Yamuna and Dina along with guests and friends. Life
felt deeper and grander in Yamuna’s world; she was a powerful force of nature. Her presence
spoke volumes of the days she spent with Srila Prabhupada; her absorption of his message, and
the need to pass this on to others rang out loud and clear. The sheer creativity of the ashram
created an ambiance of meaning and love from her years of service and enlightenment—each
detail meticulously tended to and an overall sense of devotional refinement—the sweet, quiet
mangal arati, where Yamuna would play her small keyboard as her mesmerizing voice filled the
brahma muhurta hours with devotion; the light footsteps that honored the tulasi plant which
stood in a pot beautifully painted by Kim Waters; the gentle flames glowing from the tea candles
on the windowsills in the black night…. I felt loved and cherished around her, and yet
insignificant in the perfect balance of her Vaishnava behavior.
 Rangavati, Dina, Nirmala and Yamuna in Saranagati

Nirmala devi: Of course, whenever I had visited Yamuna and Dinatarini in the many
different places they lived, it was a transcendental experience, but this was more gripping than
any other, as they had designed and built their ashram according to Vastu shastra. They were off
the grid, and everything was natural, earthy and pure. I was captivated; the attention that went
into every detail of this little sacred temple resonated with every cell in my body.

As the year progressed, Yamuna, profoundly inspired by the transformative potency of

the Holy Name, took every opportunity to share its glories—inaugurating Holy Name nights at
Banabehari Mandir in addition to our regular kirtans and other programs, and specifically
focusing on the youth, feeling that their infectious enthusiasm would impact some of the more
diffident adults. While I was away visiting my mother in Florida, Yamuna wrote to me:

Yamuna: I am more and more convinced that the mahamantra is the best remedy for all
of life’s ills—it’s always been so, but especially in these confusing times. We may have so many
divisions and identity problems, but the Holy Name is the glue that binds us all together. Let [us]
make the rest of our lives a sacrifice to the Holy Name and pray to Banabehari and Prabhupada
that we can give to others what we so deeply feel in our hearts.
 Saranagati’s residents always delighted in the plays organized by the parents of the
children. I cannot count the number of plays we attended over the years, but it was clear that
Saranagati seemed to harmonize most effectively as a community when serving together to
facilitate plays, Rathayatras, camps, retreats and other programs. Each such community event
elicited a spirit of unity that overcame any divisiveness. However, individually we each tackled
the myriad challenges of living in such a remote environment—infestations of pine beetles,
which killed almost all of the pine trees in the valley, thus forcing us to hire excavators to remove
hundreds of fallen trees; grasshopper infestations, which decimated the carefully-tended gardens;
determined rodents that seemed to find their way into seemingly impenetrable structures,
including cars; mud seasons after the snowmelt that could sometimes last for two months; and the
ever-present bears—a persistent and damaging nuisance to everyone.

Yamuna and I learned by trial and error over the years how best to deal with the bears.
After the dog died, we kept an air horn which boaters use that emits an ear-piercing shriek. Once
a sannyasi had come for a visit, and Yamuna drove with him and his host to the Sunday Feast
program, while I stayed behind to finish the food offering. I watched in horror as a large bear,
sensing that everyone had left, sauntered up to our Blue Lotus guest cabin and began peeling the
cedar siding from the cabin walls—just like one would rip pieces of paper. I quietly opened the
nearest window and blasted the air horn—its effect literally causing the bear to jump three feet
straight up into the air, feet pedaling, then hitting the ground running. Although the outcome was
somewhat humorous, it taught us not to leave any food in the outbuildings. Each Saranagati
resident has similar experiences, and Yamuna and I used to joke with others that we could write a
book just about the bears.
 Bear sauntering up to the Blue Lotus guest cabin

“Kalyana Kalpa-taru” — the Desire Tree of

Auspiciousness — 2007

In early 2007, it looked like Yamuna’s and my desire to attend a Japa Retreat facilitated
by Sacinandana Swami would finally manifest. We had read from his Nectarean Ocean of the
Holy Name book before each kirtan and bhajan program, and had appreciated his sincere and
thorough presentation. The retreat was to take place in Ojai, California, and Yamuna, Visakha
and I were invited to attend. Unfortunately, after our travel arrangements had been made,
Sacinandana Swami canceled, and as he was the principal facilitator, many others also canceled.
In the end, only eleven attended—six women disciples of Srila Prabhupada: Yamuna, Malati,
Visakha, Rasajna, Urvasi and I. Yamuna was happy to have the chance to connect with dear
Godsister friends through the Holy Name, and the facilitators, Giriraja Swami, Romapada Swami
and Ravindra Swarup das, were gracious and supportive.

We spent several days before the retreat with Urvasi devi, a refined and soft-spoken friend
from our England days, who has lived in Ojai for many years. On two occasions we visited
Giriraja Swami at his nearby Carpenteria ashram, where he recorded talks with Yamuna he later
shared in tributes and in this book. There we also met Niranjana Swami, who was recovering
from an illness. During a home program we saw him chanting from his personal songbook, which
was extensive and included Prabhupada’s purports with the songs. I inquired if it was available
for purchase, and he personally had several copies made and gave one to each of us as a gift.

Yamuna: Niranjana Swami was [in California] visiting Giriraja Swami, and he had a
songbook he’d complied of many of our Vaishnava prayers that either had a purport by Srila
Prabhupada or by Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati, and he had [gone] deeply into the prayers,
both to vibrate them in Sanskrit or in Bengali and to study their purport. At the end of that book
he had collated a few prayers that he chanted before his japa. So at Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari
Mandir, we have been vibrating those prayers … glorifying the Holy Name. They are invocations
to make us receptive to chanting the Holy Name and honoring the Holy Name, especially in
relationship to japa.

Yamuna wrote to Kartamasa and Radhakunda on April 7, 2007:

Returned last night [from the retreat]. In the light of today’s morning—cold winds, recent
snow thawed, roads passable, and early spring bulbs sprouting green shoots—back to Their
Lordships and Their sublime domain! But while it is fresh, I want to share something of the
experience before it fades away. As always, Krishna’s arrangements are superior to our best-laid
plans….

Dina, Visakha and I stayed at Urvasi’s home in Ojai, arriving there late Thursday evening
and until the retreat began Monday afternoon. The days were engaging, as Urvasi lives alone and
was especially hungry for intimate, peer women sanga. We never left her company, and she
never left ours—such a serious desire to share Krishna Consciousness with others. Saturday and
Sunday night we attended evening kirtans [with] Giriraja Swami and Niranjana Swami.

What had been promised as intimate Godbrother-Godsister kirtans were instead

considerable gatherings with many present—from second-generation disciples to new bhaktas
and bhaktins and local neighbors—and with Nrsinghananda das filming everything. Anything but
intimate, but as always, wonderful to meet new devotees.

The Retreat program ran three full days—5 AM to 8:30 PM, Tuesday through
Thursday—with a Monday evening [welcoming] and Friday morning concluding session. A
Considerable Surprise: Of the many invited leaders, only four men attended. Many canceled
when Sacinandana Swami could not come. Three of them were facilitators who had also attended
the New York retreat: kirtaniya Bada Haridas from Alachua, presenter Romapada Swami from
Brooklyn, and presenter Ravindra Swarup from Philly. Giriraja Swami was the fourth. Niranjana
Swami (not feeling well at the time) attended two evenings for retreat kirtans. Extraordinary
Purusha Shukta das remained a vigilant facilitator on the retreat periphery and, though not present
at the retreat events, remained fully cognizant of every minute at the retreat. He felt everything
should remain as Sacinandana Swami would want it. Strangely enough, all six retreat attendees
were women. Some high points on this retreat: chanting sixty-four rounds together; outstanding
prasadam; kirtan and sanga with Bada Haridas; the opulent setting of natural beauty…. That’s it
for now; out the door. Krishna kirtan jaya prema nidhan—eagerly looking forward to your
company.

—LETTER TO KARTAMASA AND RADHAKUNDA, APR. 7, 2007

Yamuna reflected on the retreat experience, and on April 26 again wrote to Kartamasa
and Radhakunda:

“One should learn how to associate with the devotees of the Lord by gathering with them
to chant the glories of the Lord. This process is most purifying. As devotees thus develop their
loving friendship, they feel mutual happiness and satisfaction. And by thus encouraging one
another they are able to give up material sense gratification, which is the cause of all suffering.”
(Srimad-Bhagavatam 11.3.30)

The association of sincere Vaishnava and Vaishnavi practitioners is spiritual sustenance.

All who attended the small Ojai Japa Retreat tasted that life-giving sustenance; and the women
attendees, all in heartfelt ways, have expressed their appreciation for it. I am firmly convinced
that sharing the glories of the Holy Name within communities must be a core activity. [In
Saranagati] there is good room for improvement, and my constant prayer is that somehow or
other this happens.

—LETTER TO KARTAMASA AND RADHAKUNDA, APR. 26, 2007

Niranjana Swami: Whenever I would see her—and it was quite frequently, I would see
her in India, in California—I would always see her wherever there was either a festival with
emphasis on kirtan or discussion about chanting. I saw her at a Japa Retreat in California.
Whenever we would meet, she would ask me, “Please share something about the Holy Name
with me—anything, Maharaja. Whatever you would like to tell me. I am getting older, and I
realize that I don’t want to waste my older years now. In Krishna Consciousness, the most
important thing is my relationship with Prabhupada and the Holy Name.”

Yamuna and I had discussed the upcoming Bhaktivinoda sessions for the summer and
decided to chant the first book of the Thakur’s songs—Kalyana Kalpa-taru—“The Desire Tree of
Auspiciousness.” First published in 1880, the “Desire Tree” is divided into three branches, of
which the first, “upadesha” or spiritual advice, can be difficult both to sing and, for some, to
hear, due to its graphic depictions of material incarceration. Yet some of the most profound and
heart-rending Vaishnava bhajans come from Kalyana Kalpa-taru, such as Gopinatha and
Vibhavari Sesa, and we waited anxiously for our summer bhajans to begin. From Florida,
Kartamasa wrote in late February:

I started (preparing) the Kalyana Kalpa-taru, and got that feeling back where I feel so
moved by the magnitude and purity of Bhaktivinoda’s songs that I want to chant, chant, chant. I
actually tried calling a couple of friends right away to share these songs with them in kirtan, but
they were not home. I hope I can maintain this focus in order to prepare for this summer. It is
such an interesting phenomenon, that whenever I get into these bhajans, I have an overwhelming
urge to share them with as many potentially appreciative people as I can, because I feel they are
so special, yet so hidden or undiscovered. It is so interesting—the passage from Amrita Vani you
read, we also read that exact passage at our Sunday program. We are all truly connected by
Krishna’s mystic love. Yes, that is what we yearn for; all that you do at your ashram, we just
want to be part of it…. Thank you again for all the mercy. I love that Krishna gave us to you.

—LETTER FROM KARTAMASA DAS, FEB. 2007

By this time, attendance in the Bhaktivinoda sessions had increased significantly. Each
person knew that there would be one assigned expert drummer (Nimesh or Haribhakti in early
years), one kartal player, chimes, myself on tamboura, Yamuna with gentle whompers, and Kar
on harmonium. Sometimes subtle shakers were used, and as the Milkmaids grew older, Haripriya
or Kalindi would sometimes play flute. Banabehari’s Milkmaids came each night, and even at
their young age felt the transformative potency of the prayers by often expressing great emotion
on leaving. Before beginning each session, we would read from Bhaktivinoda Thakur’s poignant
memoir, Svalakhita Jivani, written in the form of a long letter to his then sixteen-year-old son,
Lalit Prasad. After each bhajan at Banabehari Mandir, we gathered in a circle for what Yamuna
called a “kavacha,” with one person chosen to offer a prayer of gratitude and the rest raising arms
in loud and ecstatic “Haribol!”s.

Kalindi devi (Milkmaid): When we would read them, every bhajan was better than the
next one, even though they were so heavy. Certain songs were so intense. I never felt that way
about them, but I would always just think, “This is such a nice bhajan.” Just his poetry, the way
he wrote; his messages were somehow able to completely satisfy and pacify my mind, even
though it was very intense words. Somehow I would always come out of those bhajans
completely at peace with everything—completely blissed out. When we were singing, as soon as
the Hare Krishna part would come, Yamuna would say, “Haribol! Gauranga! Krishna
Krishna!”—always calling out different things. Now, whenever I call out in kirtan, I remember
Yamuna. They were so nice. Now, whenever my mind is the most disturbed about everything in
the world, I always go to Bhaktivinoda’s bhajans and read just one translation, and it brings me
back to such a happy, peaceful place; it soothes my mind from all troubles. It is so nice.

The Kalyana Kalpa-taru group

Kalavati (Kava) devi (Milkmaid): Basically, I felt I learned a lifetime of lessons just
from singing the Bhaktivinoda bhajans. I don’t know the lessons—I can’t put words to it—but I
have a strong feeling of it, and that strong foundation from Bhaktivinoda Thakur that is so strong
that I feel that wherever I am in my life, I will be able to go back to this feeling and remember it,
and be able to continue my Krishna Consciousness from that feeling. It just completely opened
my eyes to Krishna Consciousness and humility and patience, and it also showed me the
importance of knowing our Acharyas. I am so attached to Bhaktivinoda Thakur now. I think the
bhajans taught us all how to pray—how to be in a prayerful mood to pray to Lord Krishna. I
actually didn’t know how to pray.

Rasa Mandala devi (Milkmaid): Perhaps the most important thing we learned and did
with Yamuna, what shaped our lives the most, what utterly molded our hearts, and where perhaps
our deepest connection was with Yamuna, was kirtan. Not just kirtan, but Krishna Kirtan, as we
called it. It began first many years ago, about the same time we became the Banabehari
Milkmaids, but it wasn’t until 2007 that we first participated in these kirtans, these Bhaktivinoda
bhajans. It had been going for two years before that … led by Kartamasa das. He had gone
through three of Bhaktivinoda’s songbooks, Saranagati, Gitavali and Kalyana Kalpa-taru, and
devised a melody for every song—hundreds of songs—and he led us in chanting every single one
of them. Yamuna and Dina often remarked that when they first heard him, they knew he had the
potency and potential to transport them to another place with his chanting, and he did just that.

On the third year of the Bhaktivinoda bhajan sessions we came and brought our parents
along with us. I was twelve years old that first time, and we sang Kalyana Kalpa-taru—the first
and most direct and perhaps harshest, of all Bhaktivinoda’s songbooks. They were all named with
titles like “Madness for Wealth is Ridiculous” and “Cheating Devotees are Rejectable.” This was
also the first year that some of the other residents came, and Dina has so often said, “I was just so
amazed to see these girls coming and sitting there every week, when even some of the older
devotees had to leave, saying it was just too much to take in.” Half the truth is that we simply
didn’t understand most of it, but the other half is that these songs of Bhaktivinoda, these prayers
he wrote that are all so beautiful, and so singularly unique, unconsciously worked on our hearts
and our minds. They are so powerful and so pure that although we hardly understood the English
and couldn’t sing along with the Bengali, we could listen, and it was hearing these prayers that
caused an attachment to develop within our hearts, although we did not yet recognize it.

For four years Kartamasa led us in chanting these songs of Bhaktivinoda, at first just in
the summers, but then all year round when Kartamasa and his wife Radhakunda moved to
Saranagati. Yamuna often described singing these bhajans as “transporting” because that is
exactly what they did—they transported you to a place where there was no time, there was no
recollection of material problems, there was nothing but the transcendental sounds that entered
your ears and filled your heart with an inexplicable feeling of completeness, with an
understanding that this is where you belong, not out there, trying to resist maya’s snares and
temptations, but here, where you can leave the material world behind as you step through the
door and surrender to Bhaktivinoda’s prayers, where you can give your material self up and
become an entirely different person—someone who sings with all their heart to Krishna, with no
reserves or hesitations. When we sang these prayers of Bhaktivinoda, the obstacles between
ourselves and our Krishna Consciousness dissolved, there was nothing but the immersion into
hearing and chanting, all of us begging and praying to Krishna through Bhaktivinoda. Every time
we began an evening of these prayers, it was like coming home, like you had finally found that
place, that inconceivable place, where you think, “Yes, finally, this is where I am meant to be.
This is home. This is the spiritual world.” Here or there you would hear Yamuna’s voice rise or
fall, flooded with emotion, and at those moments you would strain your ears to listen, to catch a
glimpse of what pure chanting sounds like, to hear that potent sound coming from within her and
treasure it, aspire to it, because we knew, we all knew, that this was pure chanting. She would sit
in her rocking chair, eyes closed, sometimes tears silently sliding down her cheeks, tapping the
whompers that rested on her chest. At times she would ecstatically let out a “Krishna, Krishna,”
or “Gauranga, Gaura Gaura.” We would sit and chant, and listen, capturing the mood in our
hearts and minds, this mood of sweetness and quiet, personal meditation. This mood would
become attributed as Yamuna’s mood. It reflected her sweet personality and her close
relationship with Srila Prabhupada and the Lord, and cannot be replicated without her. Yamuna
taught us, not through instruction, but through example, how to sing and play instruments for
Krishna, to keep pride and the desire for fame at bay, and simply sing and play for the pleasure of
the Deity and the devotees. When Yamuna sang, there was not a hint of pride or vanity, not a
drop of arrogance or self-satisfaction; there was only pure love for Krishna. Her emotion when
she sang the Holy Name was tangible; it entered immediately into your heart and chased away
the desire for anything but to be able to feel what she felt while chanting the Holy Name. We
never had the chance to develop a desire for fame or pride, because from the beginning Yamuna
showed us the higher taste—she showed us the real thing—and next to that powerful feeling and
palpable love for the Holy Name, chanting for name and fame was like choosing rotten food over
pristine prasadam.

Eventually, we learned how to nicely accompany the prayers ourselves with mridanga
and kartals. When we began to play for the bhajans, Yamuna, simply through her method of
chanting and prayerful mood, taught us that we do not play instruments to demonstrate our
prowess and skill; we play only to sweetly accompany the chanting and to bring increased
pleasure to the ears of Lord Krishna and his devotees. That is the only reason. We did not play
unless we could sing as well, because forsaking the reason for Krishna kirtan, chanting the Holy
Names, simply for being able to play in increasingly complicated ways was unreasonable and
would defeat the purpose. Simply through example, not through lengthy discussions and
instruction, but merely by example, Yamuna showed us what it was to do kirtan for Krishna, to
feel bliss at bringing Krishna pleasure rather than showing everyone what mantra you learned to
play today.

Vani devi: My ears, listening intently, can hear her soft yet powerful voice, quivering
with bhakti emanating from her heart. Tears begin to pool in her eyes as she experiences
something most of us aren’t pure enough to perceive. I can her hear her small kartals—1,2,3;
1,2,3—so unobtrusive, just loud enough to embellish the Holy Name and please the Lord’s ears.
Her chanting brings me to Srila Prabhupada in New York City, in Vrindavan dhama, in Mayapur
dhama: she brings me wherever he has gone. She reveals to me layer after layer of the intricate
meanings of the Holy Name.

Again, words cannot describe how transformed we all were by the final night of our
Kalyana Kalpa-taru bhajans. Kartamasa recorded each evening’s session, but with somewhat
questionable acoustics, they do not fully convey the “Krishna Magic” of those prayers. On the
final night, to honor the Disappearance Day of Bhaktivinoda Thakur, as well as the culmination
of our songbook, Radhakunda baked a commemorative Kalyana Kalpa-taru cake in the form of a
tree with three branches. The leaves of the branches contained each named prayer within the
branch. It was a memorable culmination to an unforgettable experience.
 A Virtual Govardhan Parikrama and 32nd Anniversary
of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehariji

As the young girls became more absorbed in devotional activities, their spontaneous
enthusiasm was contagious. Simply said, they were good company—keenly anxious to learn, to
chant, to hear and to serve. Yamuna and I were planning to go on pilgrimage to India with a small
group of our young friends and promised the Milkmaids that we would also take them in the next
year or so. To enthuse them and honor Govardhan Puja, we began a virtual parikrama of
Govardhan Hill—placing a large map on the ashram wall and researching and discussing each
holy tirtha as we marked our path around Govardhan. We had collected dust and holy water from
many of these tirthas on previous pilgrimages, and distributed the “mercy” to them as we
performed the virtual parikrama. They would taste the dust from a tirtha and exclaim, “I have
never tasted dirt like that! This is from the spiritual world!”

In December, Yamuna planned a Holy Name theme to honor the Thirty-second

Anniversary of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari. During her Vrindavan pilgrimage in 2006, she had
designed and commissioned a white Holy Name outfit for the Deities, with the mahamantra
embroidered in red over white satin with a chiffon variation. Various kirtan instruments were
delicately embroidered on Radharani’s veil and Banabehari’s shawl.
 For the festival, Yamuna made a “Vijayate Sri Krishna Sankirtanam” sign, and the
Milkmaids performed a play. Radhakunda made a cake with the translation “Oh! I do not know
how much nectar there is in the two syllables ‘Krish’ and ‘na’,” and many other creative offerings
were made. It was a magical celebration. Afterward, reaching out to friends around the world,
Yamuna sent this email report expressing her gratitude:

Dearest Friends, Pranam Dandavats to you all, in no special order; just a reach-out of
gratitude. Param Vijayate Sri Krishna Sankirtanam.

Closing out the year with the last photos taken of Their Lordships on the occasion of
Their Thirty-second Mahotsava. As you know, it fell on December 27 this year, of course on the
Disappearance Day of Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur. We made a yatra day celebration
to commemorate the occasion.

5:30 AM at Radha-Banabehari Mandir:

Fresh snow on the ground overnight, the temperature is about 5 degrees F. Many devotees
attended mangal arati. Their Lordships were in white and gold silk chiffon nightdresses and
capes. During japa, They were bathed in panchamrita and dressed in Their new mahamantra
white silk outfit with pearl and gold jewelry. Then [we held the] Govindam greeting, guru puja,
darshan and kirtan.

10:30 AM at Jagannatha Mandir:

All valley members met at the feet of Lord Jagannatha, Subhadra, and Baladeva, with a
life-size painting of Srila Bhaktisiddhanta beside Srila Prabhupada. Devotees spoke on the glories
of Srila Bhaktisiddhanta, then sang je anilo, made a joint offering, performed arati and pushpa
worship, then respected the wonderful feast. This year, all five of Banabehari’s Milkmaids made
a feast dish for the occasion: Haripriya made creamy chaval khir; Kalindi made sumptuous
whipped cream–filled pastry horns; Kava made incredible bliss balls; Gopal made yummy
pakoras, and Rasa made too-good yogurt and fruit.
 6:00 PM at Radha-Banabehari Mandir:

A packed event starting with a Rasaraja candlelight kirtan; then a play performed by the
youth in the valley, directed by Radhakunda. An incredible harmony song was organized by
Uttama and sung by many transcendental ladies. Then an offering of three cakes: Harilila’s ebony
and ivory double-decker with whipped cream filling, with Their Lordships’ name on it; Uttama’s
heart cakes with whipped cream frosting; Radhakunda’s masterpiece single layer cake
surrounded by thirty-two very large sandesh pieces, each one with a Holy Name written in
Sanskrit, plus scores of other smaller sandesh pieces; and the cake decorated with a calligraphic
shloka glorifying the two syllable name of Krish-na. Practically everyone offered a wonderful
gift to Their Lordships; each one stunned Their servants. We humbly thank you from the core of
our hearts. Yadubara led a kirtan; then a Kartamasa kirtan. Then every devotee lit a ghee lamp
and made a private prayer to Their Lordships. Then we respected cake prasadam, topped off with
a spoon of Rasaraja’s Sour Cream Vegetables—a real hit. We all wished Maharani well, as she
was in hospital during the celebration. Then Dina and Yamuna gave each parting guest a gift bag
of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari prasadam: Fresh Ginger Shortbreads; Lemon Cream Cheese
Nuggets; Almond Roca Bars; Peanut Butter Cookies; and Masala Puffed Pastry Palmiers.

So to each of you who were present, those who were present in heart and those from afar:

Thank each of you for this year going deeper into sanga than we ever imagined possible.

Thank each of you for your devotion and sincerity in exploring Krishna Consciousness.

Thank each of you for your company and mercy. Let us all please try to get together again
this summer in July for the fourth annual session relishing the prayers of Thakur Bhaktivinoda.

It may be our last chance to do this together. We will keep you posted if we can squeeze
in a mini-retreat focusing exclusively on the Holy Name.

—EMAIL TO FRIENDS, DEC. 30, 2007

 Krishna Kirtan Jaya Prema Nidhan — 2008

Yamuna had envisioned a stained-glass entrance to the Deity room for many years, and in
2008 began work on her vision. Using faux stained glass paints, she designed the entrance to
feature the Trinad api sunicena verse of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu centered at the top, with two
stanzas from the Siksastakam prayer of Bhaktivinoda Thakur in Gitavali—Krishna kirtan jaya
prema nidan “chanting is a storehouse of love of God” and Krishna kirtan jaya bhakti vilas
“chanting is the pastime of devotion”—framing each side. Although the project took many
months to complete, it was extraordinary and perfectly exemplified her devotional mood.
 The long winters in Saranagati left its residents housebound for much of the time, and
Yamuna utilized the time in writing her memoir and corresponding with devotees and friends via
email. Frequently, a person unknown to her would write with a cooking, Deity or kirtan question,
and she would unfailingly reply. Her emails were always instructive, encouraging and supportive:

Kartamasa das: Thank you so much for your association there in Saranagati. It was so
brief—almost like a dream—but yet still so essential and vital to my health to see and hear and
taste and feel the bhakti which my soul desperately craves despite all my efforts to distract myself
and smother all feeling with dullness. I particularly liked the morning classes, and the japa on the
first night. The simplicity of those activities really halted the lemming-like march of my mind.
Actually Radha and I are trying to read from Srimad-Bhagavatam now every evening after arati.
I hope we keep it up.
 Yamuna: Dear Kar and Radha,

Both of your emails are rich with your advancing Krishna Consciousness.

They help to give insight into how Srila Prabhupada must have relished seeing his
fledgling devotees advance in Krishna Consciousness. Radha-Banabehari’s Thirty-second was
made especially relishable because of the many services you rendered for Their Lordships’
pleasure.

Yes, I agree; the japa, morning programs and kirtans together were over-the-top nectar.

The news [is] that a December India pilgrimage could be a reality. We are so fortunate.
Slaghitani.

Even 5 minutes—10 minutes—any time daily will give you life.

Highs and lows are mercy. How else can we learn what we are meant to learn? How else
can we lift ourselves up if we do not experience down? Your honesty and integrity are inspiring.
Recently we had wonderful exchanges with Jagannatha Kirtan and Neem (Nimesh) about where
they are at—sharing discomfort at various levels. If we are not feeling this, we are simply
zombies trying to eke out various kinds of satisfaction from playing with material energies—and
how that covers our vision, our senses! Any thinking person feels burdened with his own
mediocrity. Only in a sleeping condition are we unaware of the prison of unconscious existence.
Only time separates all of us from pure Krishna Consciousness. Let us use time well together and
lift each other up to higher and higher levels of Krishna Consciousness.

Kartamasa das: The major issue, I finally realized, is that I haven’t been able to exact
any substantial satisfaction from any of the nondevotional activities I have always relied on for
either enjoyment or association. Sports, games, music, chatting, movies have for various reasons
felt very unfulfilling this year, and left me with virtually no interest in them. Not that I haven’t
tried, and don’t continue to try to milk them, but I am not trying as hard, leaving me a bit more
quiet and lonesome than ever before.

Yamuna: You are so fortunate. Practically the whole world is asleep on the lap of maya,
dully sucking up any and all enjoyment at hand. Only the most fortunate person gets tired of
chewing the chewed-dry sugarcane stalks of sense enjoyment. May higher tastes continue to be
your goal and solace. I pray for such company.

Kartamasa das: Your last email was very powerful; thank you. It was a lot to meditate
on, and a lot to swallow. Basically, I am like a New Age practitioner who is accepting of the
religion and the lifestyle, but is not so interested in the commitment. The fact of the matter seems
to me that if people like me are never given any responsibility, then we will just plateau at the
level of involvement of a congregation member, stakeholder or supporter. In other words, our
involvement in community and ISKCON is a comfortable role as a welcomed guest, for
everything else continues on (the Deity worship, the Bhagavatam classes, etc.) without needing
us. On an internal level, without responsibility, there is no need to commit, because as I pointed
out in different words, chanting japa faithfully, taking initiation and following strictly don’t
become relevant to a comfortable congregation member until one is faced with accountability and
responsibility, whether it be to one’s own integrity, one’s guru, one’s community, Prabhupada,
etc. So, I am trying to acknowledge that as a representative of the mercy of Krishna and
Balarama, Gaura-Nitai, the Goswamis, Srila Prabhupada and yourselves, I absolutely have to
dedicate myself to these basic commitments. Also, I gripe about the dryness of my material life,
and then Krishna sends these opportunities to absorb in the Holy Name, so I have to “be the
change I want to see.” Without your care about my spiritual life, I would feel hopelessly ugly and
bitter. Since you’ve given me these glimpses and the taste for the most relishable activities one
can possibly experience, my life and my character have completely changed.

Yamuna: Thank you for your honest and inspiring correspondence. This January portion
is akin to a long conversation with interrupted intervals—in this case, the interruptions being
time. The truth: to commit to daily Srimad-Bhagavatam and japa is both difficult and easy.
Observe the first ISKCON generation: initially [there was] 100% commitment; then each decade
revealing difficulty maintaining the commitment … The time factor reveals so much. Never mind
how you address your weaknesses; live in the moment, and with intent, try, try, try. The truth:
many days in my Krishna Conscious life, I failed to daily study Srimad-Bhagavatam or chant all
my rounds, even after initiation. When Srila Prabhupada inquired, I admitted the same to him.
But he, like Bhaktisiddhanta before him, encouraged his disciples to continue on with
enthusiasm, patience and determination, fully knowing the ultimate result. Taste, strength and
resolve surely increase with practice. Balance, steadiness and commitment increase with practice.
A long road, yes. In the end, only our sincere trying satisfies your spiritual hunger, needs, hopes,
etc. If you sincerely try, of course, this will happen to you too—to anyone who follows the
process. Our previous Acharyas have given their stamp of guarantee. For what it is worth, we are
surrounding you on all sides with encouragement and support. Krishna kirtan jaya prema nidhan!

—EMAILS BETWEEN YAMUNA AND KARTAMASA, WINTER 2007–2008

 Kartamasa had been reluctant to lead kirtan at a kirtan and japa seminar held in Alachua.
Yamuna encouraged him in her usual exuberant style.

Yamuna: All glories to the Holy Name!

All glories to your chanting the Holy Name!

All glories to anyone who hears you chanting the Holy Name!

All glories to all who wish to increase their attachment for chanting the Holy Name!

All glories to kirtans at the japa seminar event in Alachua!

All glories to your sincerity in wanting to go deeper, chanting the Holy Names!

Not sure what “intermission style” kirtan is. Hope it is more than background sound or
Musak-style kirtan. At any rate, we are most eager to hear your report on this experience. Thrilled
with your involvement.

Kartamasa das: Thank you for your support. To use the imagery of Haridas Thakur,
please consider me the absolute lowest prospect for Krishna Conscious advancement and
continue to give your special mercy to Radha and I, for if we are ever able to make something of
our fading lives, it is all to your credit.

Yamuna: Every devotee is sustained by the mercy of other devotees. Real devotees
always feel themselves the lowest of the low. All glories to sanga! With much encouragement
and affection, Your servants and friends, Yamuna and Dina

—EMAILS BETWEEN YAMUNA AND KARTAMASA, WINTER 2008

During the summer, we sang Bhaktivinoda Thakur’s Saranagati songbook—the numbers

of ecstatic chanters growing such that they now spilled out of the temple room. At the conclusion
of the prayers, Radhakunda again made a cake honoring the Thakur’s Disappearance, this time in
the form of a lotus flower surrounded by paper scrolls—each containing the last line of one of the
songs of Saranagati. Each participant chose a scroll, with many expressing delight that its
message was ideally suited to them.
 Yamuna: Four summers ago, the five of us committed to a six-week daily study group to
chant through Bhaktivinoda Thakur’s namesake bhajan of Saranagati. The next two summers we
chanted his Gitavali, and then Kalyana Kalpa-taru. Kartamasa is the kirtan leader; Nimesh plays
drum, and Radha percussion. This summer the six-week program reverted back to chanting
Saranagati and expanded to include over forty participants from around the world chanting at
Radha-Banabehari Mandir.

In July, Romapada Swami brought many Seattle devotees for a Japa Retreat at Saranagati
Village. Each morning the large congregation chanted japa together, while many of our
community residents worked to facilitate the retreat, including the Milkmaids, who served each
meal to the assembled devotees. After the morning chanting, discussions on japa were held, and
at one point, Yamuna was asked to elaborate on our practice of chanting auspicious invocation
prayers before japa at Banabehari Mandir.
 Yamuna: So vandanam is one of the nine processes of devotional service; and once in
Indore, Srila Prabhupada was witnessing devotees chanting together. There are several nice
stories of Srila Prabhupada and japa, and in this particular one, after the end of the japa session,
he said, “Unless we hear nicely and chant nicely, how can we remember? We cannot remember.
All remembrance of Krishna is by hearing nicely and chanting nicely.” So how do we define
[nicely]? Srila Prabhupada would use simple words. So what does “nicely” mean to us? Nicely
means practically an unlimited ocean of change. And change we must. Change happens whether
we are conscious of it or not … it is part of Krishna’s glory. So if we become conscious of the
change [that comes] by hearing nicely and chanting nicely, then smaranam, the remembrance,
comes. And when we remember nicely, we want to pray to Krishna for more: more, more, more
of that. So, there’s a wonderful book called Amrita Vani, which is a compilation of statements
made by Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur, and if any of you get a chance to go deeper into
prayer, please read the section on “Prayer”—the instructions he gave on this subject matter.

Devotee: What subjectively or energetically has been your experience from doing that?

Yamuna: A huge connection and appreciation for the gift of the Holy Name. Just like we
all have families that we love, and we do so much for our families, and sannyasis put a huge
amount of energy into their service and their [spiritual] families—as each ashram does. So
putting that same kind of energy and focus into an invocation to beg the mercy of the Holy Name
is very powerful, and it’s unlimited because the Holy Name is unlimited. So, just by vibrating
these prayers and hearing them—trying to let them into the heart—naturally sets a very
transcendental mood: an invocation for chanting the Holy Name. Can those … who have chanted
those prayers confirm the effect on you? [voices enthusiastically say “yes”] So all of us who do
this just feel very cleansed by that.

Later on that summer, the Bus Party tour again came to Saranagati, and a youth-oriented
Japa Retreat was held for them. Yamuna was deeply appreciative of the service of Manu das and
Jaya Radhe devi (now Manorama das and Jaya Sri Radhe devi) in engaging the youth, and
enthusiastically participated whenever they came. They were always welcomed at Banabehari
Mandir amid shouts of “Haribol! Haribol!” from Yamuna. The kirtans held there with the
youth—some of them cherished children of dear friends and others who became dear kirtaniya
friends to both of us—were enlivening, while the discussions were honest and illuminating.
Yamuna was somewhat surprised during the Retreat at what she felt was a take-it-or-leave-it
approach to japa by some of the facilitators. Typically, her own presentation was direct and
uncompromising. She later wrote to a friend:

Yamuna: I was the last presenter, and unfortunately, I rocked the boat when I spoke by
saying: “Nothing you can do this year is more important than getting access to chanting japa.
Take it! Take all you can grasp of this seminar. Do not reject any of this valuable experience. If
you cannot use it now, store it close by in your heart, senses and mind for when you reach for it.”
Not sure that was much appreciated.

Jahnavi devi, one such cherished young friend, wrote a synopsis of Yamuna’s Japa
Retreat talk:

•Chanting is a lifeline to Krishna. Hearing is most important. This is a process of

self-realization; you can’t live as a Vaishnava through someone else.

•Just keep chanting and everything will come.

•Let Krishna as the form of time reveal Himself in your heart.

•If you are attentive, taste is sure to come.

•Chanting in Krishna Consciousness is a centering process to find a form of balance.

•Prabhupada said, “Be sincere.” He didn’t make it complicated; we make it complicated.

•How do you feel in kirtan? Are you feeling it or detached? Japa is the opposite side of
the same coin as kirtan. Like eating and sleeping, we need equal amounts of both.

Radhakunda devi: I am missing the beautiful serene mornings at Radha-Banabehari

Ashram more than anything else. What an incredible summer it has been! Every year it somehow
gets better and better, even after I think it was the very best. One thing I have been appreciating
so much this year is the power of association. I have never experienced how powerful association
actually is as clearly as I have seen this summer. So many people that I know have become
transformed into these wonderful sweet personalities, just by associating with you both and
coming to Radha-Banabehari programs. When I saw my sisters in Florida, they were completely
different people after a summer spent in your association. Gopal has become so sincere, honest,
helpful and eager for Krishna Consciousness; Kalindi has become so attached to serving the
devotees and appreciating the sweetness of bhajans and kirtans; the twins (Kava and Rasa) are
also eager and appreciative of everything to do with Krishna Consciousness; and Haripriya has
become so serious and dedicated to really trying to go deeper. It is the most incredible thing to
witness, and it is not just the children. I have seen my brother change just from one evening in
your association, and Yoginath, Udara, Lila, Braja Kishori, Jagannatha Kirtan, Rob,
Dylan—anyone who has your association for even just a little bit comes away a different person,
more genuine and sincere, more enthusiastic and appreciative, more honest and eager to go
deeper and really taste the sweetness of Krishna.

And now I’ve been hearing how much the Bus Tour youth have become transformed by
your association during the Japa Retreat. How can I ever express my love, gratitude and
appreciation for everything you are doing? When I read your email about the beginning of the
Japa Retreat and the mood created by the facilitators, I was so, so thankful that you asked
everyone to really try and go for it—to go deeper into understanding and appreciating japa.
Thank you so much for gently pushing everyone to keep going, to really try and move forward on
the path back to Krishna. Your words, instructions and personal examples are our beacons of
light, which we are always aspiring to move closer to. (EMAIL TO YAMUNA)

A Revealing Look at Yamuna’s Humility by an Unsolicited

Appeal for Financial Aid

Yamuna and I had been debt-free for several years before moving to Saranagati.
Unfortunately, the cost of building Banabehari Mandir to satisfy the exacting Building Inspectors
was nearly three times what we had budgeted, forcing us to take loans to finish it enough to move
in. This financial burden had forced us to work selling calendars in malls over the long Christmas
season for three years—a great hardship and irony, because Yamuna would not even enter a mall
at any other time. Needless to say, it was onerous and surreal in many ways, but for us a
necessary austerity. It would have never occurred to Yamuna to ask for financial assistance from
the ISKCON society or anyone else, as she was loath to accept service from anyone. Yet,
unbeknownst to us, some concerned and well-intentioned Saranagati devotees approached the
GBC on behalf of the two “renounced widows,” feeling that ISKCON should actively care for
their aging devotees, especially Yamuna, who had rendered so much service and given her full
life to devotional service.
 Another irony is that Yamuna herself often spoke of the need for aged devotee care,
especially for renounced women in similar circumstances. She felt that while it was laudable that
much of the society’s efforts were directed toward mitigating past mistakes, more effort should
be directed toward honoring and caring for devotees who had faithfully served in ISKCON for
thirty or forty years. Still, she was mortified by the actions taken on her behalf without her
knowledge. The following are Yamuna’s comments on an email exchange between Yoginath das,
one of the concerned devotees, and Kartamasa das, which was then forwarded to us. Yamuna’s
insightful comments reveal her own humility and her compassion for her renounced Godsisters.

Yamuna: Thank you for your thoughtful email. We are moved by your sentiments, and
the words you use to express your concerns. Some of what you say we resonate with, and some
things give us a headache. Will try to respond to your statements.

Yoginath das: I wanted to share a few thoughts I have regarding the maintenance
retirement fund for the two primary servants of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari.

Yamuna: Thank you for your concern—as a Saranagati family member and Godbrother
friend—regarding the two primary servants of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari. We are definitely in
sync with you, as we also wish to see that each member in our Saranagati family has sufficient
maintenance, spiritual support and encouragement to flourish in their devotional life. Surely it
was Srila Prabhupada’s desire that we help each other in these areas. How we do it is another
thing. Most likely success depends on our individual and collective spiritual purity, strength,
desire, vision, resolve, integrity, commitment, potency, and so on. That and sheer mercy.

Yoginath das: The history goes something like this: Last year a few of us dinosaurs were
talking about how ridiculous it was that a renegade sannyasi from Scotland received such a
handsome monetary settlement from ISKCON, and yet these two highly-esteemed Vaishnavis are
forced to tolerate the indignation of working in a mall for their maintenance.

Yamuna: In this regard, it seems irrelevant to mention ISKCON’s past, even recent
policy dealing with renegade/off-the-mark/disturbed ex-sannyasis or gurus. Yes, the tremendous
service that many of them rendered in the past is respected and appreciated, but to receive a
handsome monetary honorarium or settlement is questionable. Srila Prabhupada repeatedly
warned us of becoming paid hired reciters. Surely this ISKCON policy is a moot point in regard
to the servants in Radha-Banabehari Mandir.

Yoginath das: We talked about making a proposal to the GBC, asking for a small
monthly pension, perhaps as a token royalty payment for two million playings of the Govindam
prayers over the years, or perhaps for the integrity of ISKCON itself, which as an institution
should already have offered support to such prominent female servants.

Yamuna: Help! This is a headache idea. Please… no! But because of proximity, you
have hit on a very important issue: the future of widows in, and supporting the infrastructure of,
ISKCON. To date, the GBC has not seriously addressed its widow population. In a recent
European poll, the topic was only important to 2% of those polled. We pray that in our lifetime,
the GBC finds the will to value, trust, support, facilitate, encourage and empower qualified
widows in this tiny segment of the worldwide devotee population. Until this is done, talk and/or
implementation of monthly pensions are likely to come with strings of expectation, and end in
disappointment.

Yoginath das: Although our talks were casual and informal, in some circles it was taken
more seriously, and things spun a little out of control; and I’m sorry to say that perhaps Dina and
Yamuna might have felt a little embarrassed by the efforts of some of their friends.

Yamuna: Yes; at least in part, true. Somehow rumor and innuendo about our health and
monetary status spread like wildfire in the last couple of months. Several GBCs emailed us
regarding widely exaggerated statements they had heard about health and monetary status;
hopefully the fires are now extinguished.

Yoginath das: For this reason, I was pleased to learn that between you [Kartamasa],
Radhakunda and Nimesh, these matters have already been dealt with in a discreet and satisfactory
manner.

Yamuna: Our connection with and appreciation of these three goes beyond words.

Yoginath das: However there is another line of thinking that I would like to consider
with you. To me the point is not so much a question of the health or financial status of these two
personalities. It seems to me to be an undeniable fact that these two are our very own
home-grown Hare Krishna babajis in the truest and most honorable sense of the term. They live
and share a brand of Krishna Consciousness that is so genuine and penetrating that those who
come into contact with the Banabehari ashram are deeply spiritually enriched. The impact they
have is actually an amazing phenomenon.
 Yamuna: Ha. Humor is always welcome.

Yoginath das: Now contrast this with the worldwide cynicism regarding the spiritual
integrity of [some] ISKCON leaders. In the name of Krishna Consciousness, the amount of
financial waste has been horrendous. Not only that but [it has been] guilty of decades of …
neglect of its women.

Yamuna: My two cents on that: Before the annual GBC meetings, various topics are
slated for discussion and implementation. To my understanding, the only time women’s care and
the like was addressed on a GBC level was in 2000. The discussions after various [Godsisters’]
presentations proved difficult, and controversial. Even policies that were voted on and accepted
by the GBC—policies to return to standards implemented by Srila Prabhupada himself—were
later rescinded with the conviction that they were not meant to be. The position and care of single
women in ISKCON is a touchy subject, understood variously in different temples. Future change
is possible through the Krishna Conscious vision of even one powerfully pure individual, GBC or
otherwise. If even one devotee can articulate the vision clearly, and convince others that
ISKCON will be a better institution because of it, there is a chance of positive change. Even if it
is just to see that single celibate women—brahmacharinis or widows—are given the same care as
are celibate men—brahmacharis and sannyasis—this alone would herald in a much brighter
future.

Yoginath das: For “Yamuna,” it was quite possible to raise several thousands, if not tens
of thousands, of dollars from well-wishers everywhere who would love to have a venue to show
their support. Something on the level of the Hurricane Katrina relief fund. Such a fund, it seems
to me, would help to heal the internal culture of ISKCON by acknowledging the contribution of
women to the sankirtan movement—not with lip service and ribbons, but with real money and
power. Those who are acquainted with Banabehari’s two servants know that they are extremely
frugal and extremely responsible, and simultaneously they love to see Krishna glorified in
beautiful ways. So who better on planet earth to manage a large trust fund than these two? Aside
from this, I can imagine that beyond just gas and groceries they may be faced with some larger
capital expenses such as the installation of proper plumbing, propane heating system and perhaps
the construction of some suitable guest facilities somewhere in Venables Valley for their
ever-increasing number of visitors.

In conclusion, I am thinking that if they could be persuaded to let a few people run with
this and turn it over to some connected fundraising types, it may indeed be possible to establish a
Banabehari trust fund to not only enhance the lives of Their servants, but to make sure that there
are facilities for their Lordships’ worship for generations to come. What do you think of all this
rambling? Am I missing some essential point? What have I failed to consider? And why do I
remain locked in the material concept of life? Hare Krishna, your friend and uncle in our village
relationship.

Yamuna: Please shelve the above for now. Your servants and loving Godsisters—the
primary servants of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari.
 Vyasa Puja in Seattle with Radhanath Swami

On hearing that Radhanath Swami would be attending the Janmastami and Vyasa Puja
observances in Seattle, Yamuna and I drove there from Saranagati. Although Yamuna’s sister,
Janaki, was extremely ill, she also came with her friend Barb from Portland to have Radhanath
Swami’s association. On Vyasa Puja, each Prabhupada disciple was asked to speak, and Yamuna
eloquently spoke one of her “day-in-the-life” stories about how Srila Prabhupada interacted with
his students in the early San Francisco days, ending with the following plea:

I feel so terribly grateful to Srila Prabhupada for the process of bhakti-yoga he gave us.
And my deepest, deepest, deepest prayer this year and in coming years is that somehow we all
together try to preserve the purity of Srila Prabhupada’s process—that we don’t change it, we
don’t merge it with something else that is convenient or popular, or is close by and looks good,
but that we maintain the purity of what he gave us, all together, each one of us, in whatever
community, whatever sanga we have; that we try to purify that, relish it as deeply as Srila
Prabhupada and his Spiritual Master did and Thakur Bhaktivinoda did—that they have handed us
this most incredible gift, and that we don’t change things. This is my deep, deep prayer. I beg all
of you to assist me in doing that myself. Thank you all. Hare Krishna

Oh! Lead, Lead Me on to Vrindavan — A Life-Changing

Pilgrimage with the Youth

In December of 2008, our long-held desire to experience pilgrimage to India with dear
young friends was fulfilled. Yamuna and I had so emphasized its profound potency and bliss over
the years that they were “over-the-top” inspired, to use Yamuna’s phrasing. Kartamasa and
Radhakunda came during their Christmas break from teaching positions in Alachua; Haribhakti
also came from Florida; and Nimesh, a Canadian of Gujarati extraction who had never been to
India, came from Vancouver.

In preparation, we exchanged many emails emphasizing that Vrindavan must be

experienced through the heart, rather than visually. We were frankly worried that the sensory
overload of India in general and Vrindavan in particular might discourage them with its overt
commercialism, dirt, pollution, cars and scooters, monkeys and other externals—contrasting
sharply with our portrayals over the years. Yet this proved an unwarranted fear, because all of
them drank in the mercy of Vrindavan like pilgrims lost in a desert. Yamuna wrote in one
preparatory email to Kar and Radhakunda:

Yamuna: Oh, the situations we are placed in to learn. At every step, this life experience is
a training-ground opportunity. We each go at our own pace, and hopefully have others to wish us
well. Always present: Srila Prabhupada and merciful Vaishnavas who are there to lead us on, lead
us on to Vrindavan. What can we do but try to follow the footsteps of the great Vaishnavas who
traveled before us? What a journey it is for us all. Forward march, O Saragrahi [Vaishnava] souls,
thou art angels so fair. Lead me on to Vrindavan; the spirit’s power declare. Slaghitani in all
directions. (NOV. 10, 2008)

We were again warmly received by MVT caretakers Bala Gopal and Dhananjaya, who
could not have been more accommodating. Yamuna enjoyed reminiscing with them on early
England and Vrindavan pastimes with Srila Prabhupada, and they both came often to our evening
kirtans. Each day we concentrated on immersing ourselves in each holy place, spending time in
prayer, discussions and kirtan before moving on. Then in the evenings, devotees would join us
for kirtan in our apartment. We rolled in the holy dust of Govardhan and attended the Govardhan
Retreat seminar of Sacinandana Swami for a day; and we offered prayers and bhajans to
Radhakunda from Jahnava Mata’s holy sitting place.
 Before leaving for India, Yamuna had conceived a festival for the entire Saranagati
community based on a parrot theme. She offered to design and have Deity outfits made for all of
the Deities—fourteen sets in total—and sat for hours with Saranagati residents, helping with
design ideas, measuring Deities and making paper templates. Once in Vrindavan, Bala Gopal
encouraged her to have two talented Russian ladies actually paint the designs on silk cloth.
Somehow, all fourteen outfits (with four changes for Radha-Banabehari) were completed, and
Yamuna was thrilled with the results.

Bala Gopal devi: I helped her make some outfits for her Deities, and the detail and love
was just amazing … I suggested a painted outfit, and she said, “Oh, no, no, no, no.” But I kept
pushing it a little bit, and said I thought it would be gorgeous. So she relented, and we had these
amazingly talented Russian girls come, and we would sit for an hour and a half every morning
and discuss all the details. She was in love with the whole thing and would come up with these
amazing ideas.

The other thing she did was to really focus on the youth. Prabhupada always told her they
are our future, but I don’t think anyone really took that to heart as much as she did. What she did
in Saranagati and everywhere she went in the world, she would be encouraging them, training
them and giving them Srila Prabhupada in her own very gentle way. We were always fortunate to
be involved in her kirtan gatherings in Vrindavan, and it was just so inspiring. I feel that she was
one of the pioneers in developing this kirtan consciousness and culture that we regard now as a
new wave. She did it for her own humility—as a lesson for people that we are always in a shaky
position and we always need to meditate on that need for greater humility. She was a pioneer in
so much. Her love of life was to sit down and do kirtan and bhajans way back in the very
beginning. It wasn’t an easy road, and most people take that and fall aside or say this is too
difficult, but she never gave up. It’s not an easy thing. The society changed—completely different
from what it was when she joined. She recognized that things had to evolve and would always
embrace it and understand it as a new challenge almost immediately.

Although Yamuna was blissfully engaged in Vrindavan, her health had taken a downturn,
and she was not able to go to some of the holy tirthas with the group. Yet when the young
devotees returned and recounted their experiences at a particular site, she would say, “I feel I was
right there with you. I can see it all in your faces.” On a few occasions she agreed to interviews
and speaking engagements. At one question-and-answer session in Srila Prabhupada’s quarters,
she spoke about his health the last time she had his darshan in 1976:

Yamuna: I came to Vrindavan in 1976 … to ask [Srila Prabhupada’s] permission to write

a cookery book. Because many devotees had asked me to compile a book, I thought
etiquette-wise it was proper to ask the Spiritual Master first to get his blessings. I remember when
I came in, he was sitting in this room, in this building…. So it was just before taking his lunch,
and [Prabhupada] had his legs out straight, underneath his desk. And I remember his ankles were
big, like grapefruits, and his feet were a little blue; and I was so shocked. I paid obeisances and
looked up, and the first thing he said (like I had just seen him yesterday or the day before) was,
“So I am an old man; I may die at any moment. This body is finished.” He [motioned]towards his
feet. So Prabhupada was very candid with me, and very matter of fact … So I said, “What is
[wrong with] your feet?” and he replied, “They are like this all the time; my kidneys are
finished.”

I spent a few days in Vrindavan with Prabhupada that Kartika of 1976 and asked him
many questions. I saw him sit underneath the tamal tree. He had always promised that when the
temple was built, he would sit under the tamal tree with his disciples. So that was a very
wonderful experience for me to see, that the temple was finished, and Prabhupada was doing as
he said. He thought the tamal tree was very sacred; and I was a little unhappy here to see that
there are signs underneath the tamal tree advertising things. So he wouldn’t have wanted that at
all. He almost cut the tamal tree down because he said the devotees would not honor it properly. I
think he must have been able to see the future … So he said [that we can] sit under and around
the tamal tree for special kirtans. It was very glorious to see Prabhupada in the afternoons sitting
under the tamal tree with his disciples, even though he was very sick. He had to sit in a rocking
chair then …. It was a very, very glorious time.

“It’s Not a Pilgrimage if There are No Challenges”

A two-day trip was planned to take darshan of the glorious Deities in Jaipur—Sri Sri
Radha-Govindaji, Sri Sri Radha-Gopinatha, Sri Sri Radha-Damodara and Sri Sri Radha-Vinod.
We rented two minivans and began the five-hour drive in the darkness of early morning.
Unfortunately, one of the cars broke down two hours into the trip, and both drivers peremptorily
got out and left us sitting on the side of the road with no explanation. We called the taxi service
no less than ten times, and finally, two hours later, the drivers returned, again with no
explanation, made some minor adjustments, and we spluttered on, only to have a flat tire further
down the road. By the time we arrived in Jaipur twelve hours after our departure, our rooms had
been rented to someone else, and we had to find other accommodation. While frustration clearly
showed on some of our group’s faces, Yamuna, smiling sweetly, said, “It’s not a pilgrimage if
there are no challenges.”
 Broken down on the side of the road

Needless to say, mangal arati at Radha-Govindaji Mandir made everyone forget any
inconvenience. It is an unforgettable experience. After arati, we gathered together in the back of
the temple and had a rousing Radha-Govinda kirtan, with each person leading for some time. The
same schedule was followed at the other temples, and everyone felt blissfully transported—a
highlight for everyone on the pilgrimage. Fortunately, the return trip was relatively uneventful.

Yamuna: For us, we have been a month and a half in Sri Vrindavan, and we brought six
devotees in our Saranagati kirtan party. We have tried to relish the holy dhama very deeply
through many hours of kirtan a day, and going to holy places and begging for the mercy of our
great Vaishnavas in the past and the great Vaishnavas in the present for their mercy to enter into
the holy dhama.
 Radha-Govindaji Mandir outside where Srila Prabhupada stayed

Kirtan for Govindaji after mangal arati

The Long-Promised Chowpatty Visit Comes to Pass

Yamuna and I had spoken about the devotees of the Chowpatty Radha-Gopinatha Temple
so often over the years that in a sense our young friends felt they knew them already. Yet,
nothing can prepare one for the actual experience of being in the company of Radhanath Swami
and the sincere and dedicated devotees there. We traveled by train, with the addition of Amala
Harinama and Nadia to our group, and were received with such warmth and enthusiasm in
Mumbai that it was both heartwarming and overwhelming. Because of her natural humility,
Yamuna did not like to be distinguished or set apart from others, and she often commented that as
much as she appreciated and respected the Chowpatty devotees, it was also difficult to be there
because of how much they served and honored her. Of course, they follow the example of
Radhanath Swami, who regularly welcomes guests and Prabhupada disciples to the temple with
lengthy encomiums. Yamuna could not exalt that quality of Radhanath Swami enough—that he
exemplified the importance of respecting Vaishnavas and taught his followers by his example.
Yet, when she was the object of that respect, she was uncomfortable with it. Though always
reluctant to speak, Yamuna could not refuse a request of Radhanath Swami, and she eloquently
expressed our appreciation to the assembled devotees.
 Yamuna: It has been two years and eight months since being here with you in
Radha-Gopinatha Mandir. And I can say that every day since I left, I have appreciated your
company very deeply. And Radhanath Swami is so dear in our ashram. We live in a very tiny
corner of Prabhupada’s legacy, called Saranagati, British Columbia. And I always say that it is
one of the most inhospitable places for pilgrims to visit; we are a full, 100% no-facility zone. It is
the antithesis of what this glorious place is. But nonetheless, we feel deeply connected to you on
another level that doesn’t have anything to do with facility.

I don’t know how many times we have shown the film The Simple Temple to pilgrims that
come into our ashram. Last year we had only a thousand who came for various kirtans and
programs, and a good number of those saw that film, and we glorify you so much by our words,
and are inspired by you so much. So on this pilgrimage to India, we have so much gratitude that
we were able to come here again. And as Bhakti-tirtha Maharaja said, we come here for the juice,
to get the juice to spread this juice more in other places in the world. And that is in the form of
each and every one of you, in terms of sanga.

The love that we have for the brahmacharis is just immense. When I am outside the
temple and I see the brahmachari laundry blowing in the wind, it looks like jewels to me, in the
crown of Chowpatty. And the grihasthas here are like none in the world. And in the center of it
all, under Srila Prabhupada’s powerful presence, is Radhanath Swami. Everything here is
Radhanath Swami’s energy, his potency, his purity, and that is unique on the whole planet.
 So because of our affection for him, he asked us to speak. Of course, I immediately said
no, and gave many reasons why I wouldn’t. But I have attended the last three classes here, and
when you have a chance to listen to this kind of Krishna Consciousness, something has to
change. All of the fear I have of public speaking has to take second place to honoring
Radhanath’s Swami’s request. And the fact is that I don’t speak in public. Even when I was with
Srila Prabhupada, I begged him not to ask me to speak…. So Dinatarini prabhu and I, when we
were thinking about what would be appropriate to share with you, we thought of mercy. Mercy is
the embodiment of this temple. This is a place of mercy.

During the visit, Radhanath Swami kindly accompanied our group to the Bhaktivedanta
Hospital—something Yamuna had wanted them all to experience. As expected, the youth were
awe-inspired at seeing the murti of Srila Prabhupada, hearing his lectures and bhajans over the
intercom, and seeing the genuine care and service mood of the Vaishnava doctors and staff. At
the time, Jayapataka was recovering at the hospital, and we were invited to a kirtan and luncheon
with him. It was a memorable experience.
 Radhanath Swami: And [Yamuna devi] just appreciated everything so much and wrote
so many beautiful emails about [the hospital]. After Jayapataka Maharaja had his stroke, he was
at Bhaktivedanta Hospital. And Yamuna devi, Dinatarini devi, they brought some of the youth of
our society, Kartamasa and Radha, to sing for Jayapataka Maharaja. And she wanted all the
young people, you know, in their teens or early twenties [to sing]. She was so proud of their
singing. And everybody else asked her to sing. She said, “No, no. I will not sing. Let the children
sing.” And the children sang so beautifully. “Yamuna devi, please sing.” “No, no. I will not sing.
Let everyone else sing. They are all better than me.” And Jayapataka Maharaja looked at her and
said, “Yamuna devi, you please sing.” And for Maharaja’s pleasure, she sang so wonderfully, and
it just moved our hearts so much.
 “Are you ‘THE’ Yamuna Devi?” — Rishikesh

From Mumbai, Yamuna and I spent six weeks at an Ayurvedic clinic in Rishikesh.
Although we did not know it beforehand, the director/owner of the clinic was a disciple of
Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, who had passed away the year before. Each day, we would gather with
other patients of the clinic for Ayurvedic meals specialized to each person’s treatment regimen.
Yamuna and I wore full tilak, and spoke freely among them about Krishna Consciousness and
Srila Prabhupada. By the third week, some of the leaders of the Maharishi movement from
Uttarkashi began arriving at the clinic on their way to a Disappearance observance in New Delhi.

One evening they joined us at the communal table and greeted us by asking our names.
When Yamuna said, “My name is Yamuna devi,” there was a hush around the table. Then a
senior Maharishi disciple, who had been his personal servant for many years and now acted as
headmaster of their school in Uttarkashi, said, “Are you THE Yamuna devi, of Lord Krishna’s
Cuisine?” When Yamuna answered in the affirmative, he literally prostrated himself in
obeisance, and then brought his laptop computer to the table. He showed us that he had scanned
every page of Yamuna’s massive cookbook into his computer, and explained that he used it to
teach the children to cook. It was stunning to me to see how in this out-of-the-way environment,
her impact was still felt. What was more telling was his revelation that Maharishi Mahesh Yogi
held Srila Prabhupada in great esteem—that Maharishi had said unequivocally that Bhaktivedanta
Swami was the greatest proponent of the path of bhakti-yoga on the planet.

We returned to Saranagati Village in March with renewed energy and fell into our routine
of ashram maintenance, group Caitanya-caritamrta readings and Holy Name nights. Yamuna
began sewing new Deity outfits and planning new garden beds.

Govardhan Academy Comes to Saranagati — 2009

The fundamental issue of educating children in Vaishnava culture was of paramount

concern to Yamuna. She was unequivocal in voicing what she felt was our society’s reluctance to
implement a gurukula educational model that was devoid of the mistakes and abuses of the past.
So when the local school district opened a school in our Saranagati community not long after we
moved there, Yamuna was not enthusiastic. She felt that Saranagati’s remoteness and its devotee
population provided a perfect environment for educating the children in conformance with
modern standards, yet with a Vaishnava-guided curriculum. However, our community, though
rich in many ways, was generally cash-poor, and a government-funded school within the
Saranagati community would not only be free, but it would allow the children to remain within
the valley and be schooled together. Whatever private concerns the parents held regarding the
education, it is fair to say that most felt its advantages outweighed the negatives.

While Yamuna and I may not have supported the concept of the school, we
wholeheartedly supported Saranagati’s young children. Yamuna cooked and served prasadam at
some of the School Board meetings and other gatherings and both of us attended the children’s
functions and graduations. We were encouraged by the first teacher, a kind and respectful woman
who, although a devout Catholic, came to temple programs and seemed to enjoy them. Yet, as
time went on and more teachers came, Yamuna became more discouraged with the school.
Returning from a visit to a friend one day, with tears cascading down her face, she described
seeing a child doing math homework which involved counting hamburgers. In an email to
Kartamasa in 2007, she voiced her concerns:

Yamuna: Our younger generation are being encouraged by their materially- motivated
educators to become absorbed in mundane life. We have such sincere girls here in the valley, for
instance—they are inspired, truly inspired in what Krishna Consciousness they get, and the
education they receive must be confusing to them—what to accept and what to reject. I often find
myself wishing you both could teach them.

In 2009, our prayers were answered when the school district withdrew funding, turned the
buildings over to the community, and the renamed Govardhan Academy became Saranagati’s
Vaishnava-oriented school. Kartamasa moved from Alachua to become headmaster, his wife
Radhakunda became a teacher, and the Deities, Krishna and Balarama, became the fulcrum of the
children’s training in devotional service. It was so powerful that although the students were still
being taught online through a government program, their devotional training and creative
activities created a rich and enlivening school environment that was Krishna Conscious,
innovative and fun.

Lilamrita devi: Towards the end of the first year at Govardhan Academy, I was talking
to a few of the younger girls, and asked them if they were looking forward to the summer
holidays. “Oh, no! We love school! We can’t wait for it to start again!” I was pleasantly surprised
at their answer. And it was confirmed a few days later at a school program, when the students
were asked to speak about their school year. Their talks were very lively and full of positive
enthusiasm for the Krishna Conscious activities they had been learning. They expressed their
attachment and love for Krishna and Balarama, and their gratitude and appreciation for having
Kar and Radha as their teachers. This was a testimony to the success of the Govardhan
Academy—the students were learning to love learning and were enthused about devotional
service

Yamuna and I took part in school activities whenever we were asked, as we were also
enlivened to be in such company. Yamuna worked with Radhakunda to create a teaching kitchen
and held cooking classes with all of the children, even the five- and six-year-olds.
 Jayanti devi: I remember the last couple of years at Govardhan Academy were made
extra-extra special by the contributions of Yamuna and Dina. Every Tuesday we had either
cooking class with Yamuna or scroll saw class with Dinatarini. Yamuna taught us how to make
different flavored chapatis, holy crackers, mango fool, rice, and simply wonderfuls. Before we
started to cook, we would stand in a circle and recite the Om ajnana prayers. Then we would
learn about what we were doing, cook, clean-up, offer and then sample what we cooked.

Dina taught us about scroll-sawing and helped us to make wooden parrots for the parrot
festival. It was so wonderful to have these moments to share with Yamuna and Dina, and it meant
a lot to me—not to mention all of the times they came to the school, such as Prabhupada’s
Appearance Day, and shared their mercy and devotion with us.

Yoginath das: So we had the great honor of [Yamuna] actually teaching cooking to the
children in our little community…. She didn’t really teach cooking—the whole class, the focus of
the whole thing, was the attitude about cooking, and trying to explain to the younger people that
this is what makes prasadam, prasadam. So she taught them the fine art of cooking without
really much cooking. That was her focus—to really understand what is prasadam and what is
devotion. And it wasn’t just the young people; she shared that with the adults also.

Another Blissful Summer of Bhajan, Kirtan and Sanga

Yamuna used our spring Holy Name nights to prepare the Saranagati Rocks group to
chant the Kevalastakam prayers for Rathayatra. Perhaps thirty of us crowded onto the stage
chanting with rocks and sticks, and then followed it with the mahamantra in the same tune, with
the audience joining in.

Our committed Bhaktivinoda bhajan group chanted the Thakur’s Gitavali again that
summer—this time with the Milkmaids, who had become expert by this time, providing
instrumentals—Kalavati (Kava) on mridanga, Gopal on kartals and Haripriya or Kalindi on flute.
As they had matured, their voices had also become resonant and melodious, and this added even
more richness to the sessions.

Gopal Nandini devi: For me it was always super hard just sitting there and focusing on
the bhajans. My attention would always slip away, until that year when Haribhakti taught us to
play kartals and mridanga. Then Kar asked me to play kartals. I was nervous the first time, I
remember Kar telling me to play as quietly as you can, because we want to hear the voices more
than the actual instruments. I remember looking at Kar, like, “Am I doing okay?” Kava played
mridanga, too. And afterward Yamuna and Dina were the most encouraging. “Wow, you were
just sizzling tonight. You were so good! Gopal, Kava—szzz! [sizzling]” And it just felt so good.

Also, I feel that because we got that opportunity, it put me on a different level of
understanding of how to actually please by playing instruments. Not just for yourself—because it
never was for yourself, because you were supposed to play quietly—just to keep it going. I
remember just thinking in my head, “Please, Radha-Banabehari, please, Krishna-Balarama,
please just help me play for the pleasure of the devotees, and for You—nothing else.” Pray every
time—just pray. Just try to please. We were given such a wonderful opportunity, and I didn’t
want to mess it up at all. I feel that because of that, because Yamuna and Dina were so
encouraging—but encouraging in such a way that you didn’t feel puffed up—you just felt that
you were making them happy; what I am doing is making them happy. And now, it has helped
my mood in kirtan so much more. I felt like if I didn’t do that, I would have been just gone in my
pride. But now, just remembering how they so much encouraged, I just so much wanted to please
them.

Kalavati (Kava) devi (Milkmaid): I was regretting [playing mridanga] in the beginning. I
really wanted to sing; I didn’t want to play the mridanga. But I knew that this was a service. I just
felt that I wasn’t good enough, that I couldn’t sing, and that I would ruin it and wouldn’t please
anybody. But Yamuna and Dina encouraged me so much. I realized that it is not the instruments
that matter; it is the voices. For me, this whole new-age gurukuli thing is really about the
instruments—but [Yamuna showed us] that good kirtan was if the people are praying to Krishna.
And they taught us that really young, so we could understand that very strongly.
 They taught us to think like that before they even encouraged us. So when they did
encourage us, we knew how to take that encouragement. Honestly, I didn’t know anything about
Yamuna’s past, the entire years when we were growing up. I didn’t know that she did this and did
that, and that everyone knew her—that she played harmonium and mridanga, and she did that
with the Beatles. It was just “our Yamuna.”

Rasa Mandala devi (Milkmaid): The first time it became crystal clear to me that Yamuna
was someone else other than just Yamuna to us was that Balarama festival that we had here. I
realized that other people had traveled so far to come and meet with her. She was Yamuna
prabhu, not just Yamuna, like she was to us.

The summer Bus Tour party visited again in August, and many of the youth came to the
morning program. Having kirtan and honest discussions with them was always illuminating and
enlivening for Yamuna.

Later that month, on August 28, with Yamuna’s usual careful planning and attention to
detail, a glorious Radhastami festival was held at Banabehari Mandir. Yamuna wrote afterward to
Haribhakti:

Yamuna: So today is the day after Radhastami. Thought to share how it transpired this
year. To call on a meditative mood of absorption for Sri Radha, we began to prepare for it by
chanting eight beautiful Bhaktivinoda prayers from Gitavali describing the glories of Srimati
Radharani; that happened on Monday and Tuesday of this week. Kar took us to an extraordinary
level of meditation in chanting these prayers.

Then all day Wednesday a crew of twelve or so devotees came to Banabehari Mandir to
engage in some direct devotional service to Srimati Radharani—cleaning, cooking, making
flower garlands, making a flower dress for both Banabehari Krishna and Radharani, and
decorating. This ended at 6 PM, and then we had our weekly evening Caitanya-caritamrta
reading.

Every year we make some different special arrangement for Radhastami, and this year we
wished to go to Govardhan Hill and Radhakunda with Radha-Banabehari. To do this, three
Banabehari Milkmaids collected and made about ten super-lovely flower arrangements. Two
more helped me recreate the scene of Govardhan Hill and Radhakunda on the altar itself. Their
Lordships resided in the back of the altar. In front of Them, we built a kund [lake] surrounded
with rocks of varying sizes, Govardhan-style, with gravel paths that led from the lotus feet of
both Radha and Krishna to the lake. Two more Milkmaids, plus Dina, Radhakunda and Lilamrita,
made garlands and the flower dresses. All the silver temple animals—cows, peacocks, horses,
bears, rhinos, elephants, monkeys and one giraffe—were arrayed on the Govardhan-like rocks
(gravel) and paths (sand). Silver-cloisonne flying parrots perched on flowers in the vases; and in
the pond—silver turtles, fish and ducks.

On Radhastami morning, Their Lordships wore silk-lined satin night robes over thin white
silk bathing clothes during mangal arati. They remained on the altar in this dress during the tulasi
puja and the chanting of one grantha of japa. Their bathing tank was brought out of the garbha
griha and placed in the temple room, and one at a time, each devotee got a chance to bathe Them
in five sacred substances—warmed creamed honey with a touch of maple syrup; organic yogurt;
organic milk; 1,008 holy waters, Ganga water, Radhakunda and Shyamakunda water and ghee
with drops of cow urine. During and after the bathing, while They were being dressed in fragrant,
artfully-crafted flower dresses, a nice kirtan was going on.

When at last situated on Their altar behind a curtain, along with the thunderous chanting
of Radhe Radhe Radhe Radhe, Radhe Radhe, Radhe, and with the tumult of several blowing
conchshells, the curtain opened to gasps of wonder and joy. We greeted Them by singing the
Govindam prayers a cappella, then offered the gifts that devotees had brought, and then offered
Their special festival bhoga of rasa malai. In this batch, the malai sauce was perfumed with
crushed saffron threads, ground cardamom, screwpine water [kewra], vetiver water [khus], and
rose water. Each sweet was placed in a pastry case for distribution, then topped with fragrant
malai sauce and a small piece of fresh rose petal.

Then each devotee came up to the altar to take special darshan and light a floating candle
in the kund [lake]. While lighting their candle, each offered a prayer begging to better serve Sri
Radha in the coming year. Then Kar led us in chanting a wonderful prayer written by Krishnadas
Kaviraja glorifying Srimati Radharani. Then we passed out twenty-five slips of paper to
twenty-five devotees. Each of the twenty-five slips of paper had a special quality that embodied
one of Sri Radha’s qualities. The devotees had to enact out that quality without speaking, and the
attendees had to guess what that quality was. Children as young as eight did this. Then we read
some of the glories of Sri Radha. In that way, we started the day by engaging all of our senses in
the glorious realm of service to Sri Radha. In the late afternoon we went to Kulasekhara’s temple
for more Radhastami celebrations—arati, kirtan, bhajans, katha, and the offering of a huge feast
to relish later as prasadam, all with the special feature of swinging the lovely Deities of Sri Sri
Radha-Giridhari on a flower-laden swing. Their Lordships were magnificent, and swinging Them
sublime. We returned to Radha-Banabehari Mandir when the half moon hung low over the
western mountains in a dark blue sky, changed Their Lordships into night clothes, cleaned up
some, and again relished the peace of ashram silence suffused with the Holy Name. I imagine
when many devotees retired for the night, filled with much Radha katha and focus from the day,
they had Radharani dreams as well.
 Srila Prabhupada’s Disappearance — 2009

Giriraja Swami: After Srila Prabhupada’s Disappearance Day in 2009, Yamuna devi
wrote me a letter that shows her deep absorption in Srila Prabhupada and in the Holy Names, and
her intimate relationship with Srila Prabhupada. I think that she really did understand Srila
Prabhupada and his mission. He gave her a lot of instruction.

Dear Giriraja Swami,

Pranam dandavats. Jaya Srila Prabhupada! I wanted to share a few thoughts and
reflections on yesterday, Srila Prabhupada’s thirty-second Disappearance Day. We observed the
day first at Radha-Banabehari Mandir with our morning program, then at a midday program at
Govardhan Academy [the school at Saranagati], introducing the students to the traditional way
Srila Prabhupada instructed us to honor this day, and then in the evening at a program with adults
in the community, who for convenience regularly meet in the evening for any kind of Vaishnava
holy day.

Yamuna and Dina at Govardhan Academy on Srila Prabhupada’s Disappearance Day

Last night Yadubara showed his preliminary edited footage for DVD Eleven: “Srila
Prabhupada’s Final Pastimes.” Though I had seen much of the footage before, it had been without
comment, and not arranged in sequence to tell a visual story of Srila Prabhupada’s final days and
hours, the moment of his passing, and the aftermath—the Vrindavan pari-krama and the samadhi
entombment.

One evening, as I sat with my back to Srila Prabhupada’s front bucket seat as we rode in a
van from Tittenhurst [John Lennon’s estate] to a Conway Hall lecture in London, Srila
Prabhupada said loud enough for me to hear: “When I die, see that my body is taken on a
palanquin around Vrindavan on parikrama.” Stunned, but immediately attentive to these words, I
turned around and, on my knees, bent forward from the waist so that my head was even with his
shoulder, I said, “Why have you told me to do this, Srila Prabhupada? Better that you tell Tamal
Krishna. He has more access to seeing that this is done than I do.” He replied, “No, you can tell
him.” He fell silent and said no more. I too fell silent and said no more.

Yadubara’s footage last night of the thickest pastime of Srila Prabhupada’s life with
us—his passing—was poignant and moving. Though I was not there physically with Srila
Prabhupada, I could not have felt closer to him or experienced more of his presence had I been
so. Every moment of every day has been a meditation on Srila Prabhupada, and we have been
engaged in constant kirtan. Perhaps it would have been difficult for me even to have been there at
that time, for except Pishima, it is clear that women were not allowed close proximity to Srila
Prabhupada, and that might have been almost unbearable for me after the closeness I experienced
in previous years with him.

—EMAIL TO GIRIRAJA SWAMI, OCT. 22, 2009

Yamuna Devi at the 40th Anniversary of Sri Sri

Radha-Londonisvara

Yamuna reunites with longtime friends from the UK

The affinity Yamuna held for Sri Sri Radha-Londonisvara, who had been so instrumental
in her Krishna Conscious life, never wavered, and a large framed illustration of Them was
prominently displayed on the wall above her room at Banabehari Mandir. When she was asked
by her young friend Kapila to attend the 40th Anniversary celebrations of Their installation, she
could not refuse, although she had been suffering from a severe bout of bronchitis for nearly a
month. Not only would she attend the London Anniversary, but she wanted to take the same
group of young friends to Mayapur on pilgrimage afterward. Along with our previous group,
Guru Carana Padma devi, Jahnavi, Kapila, and his wife Ananda, would also join us, while others
planned to meet us there. Our long-time Saranagati friend Kapila, an organizer of the event, had
the following email exchange with Yamuna:

Kapila das: Currently the devotees at Soho have a tentative schedule for the week, and
they want to be flexible with you. Please take a look, but I’m also enclosing the main points.

A. That you will be able to give a presentation on Wednesday the 18th from 5:30 to 7:00
PM. Their theme that day is around the topics of Rathayatra, harinam and book distribution.

Yamuna: This I did chuckle at. I should not speak on these topics, for I am eminently
unqualified to do so. No one from 1969 or 1970 would consider me speaking on these three
topics. Aside from Apple recording, touring and promotion, I rarely left the inside of Bury Place
temple. Why? I was cent percent engaged in cooking offerings, performing aratis, feeding
devotees, sewing, cleaning and other internal temple services. I attended one UK Rathayatra;
distributed perhaps a dozen magazines my whole time in London, and went on less nagar kirtan
than almost any practicing devotee in 1969 and 1970. To best present these topics, I suggest you
ferret out speakers that engaged in these activities—rendered service to numerous Rathayatra
events, distributed books daily, and engaged in daily harinam. Here is where Tribhuvanath
prabhu will be sorely missed. Have you notified the devotees who organized this roster that I do
not wish to speak on this topic? If not, please do so.

Kapila das: B. Thursday is free, as you have other diary events they are familiar with.
Friday the 20th, the theme is Deity history, and they have all four of the first devotees here in the
UK from 5:30-7:00 PM.

Yamuna: Looking forward to being a part of this presentation and hearing from others
also.

Kapila das: This is also the day when earlier, I hope we might be able to brainstorm with
you on the idea of doing Govindam with As Kindred Spirits. Perhaps we can do it before this at
Soho, or earlier even at your residence or at the Manor, etc. Please have a think what is best for
you and let me know soon.

Saturday the 21st. We will aim to have some rehearsal ahead of time, but the main event
starts at 5:30 PM, and you are scheduled at around 8:30 to speak for 2-3 minutes to share a little
inspirational thought for the future 40 years.

Yamuna: Purity is the force; right—two or three minutes; will give it my best.

Kapila das: Sunday the 22nd at Soho temple, 9:00 AM to 12:30 PM—the group of
original devotees; and then again 9:00 PM to 9:30 PM.
 Yamuna: The Lotus Feet of Sri Sri Radha-Londonisvara ki jaya!

Kapila das: Just to reinforce, the devotees want to be very considerate with your time and
health, so please give me any feedback and thoughts now.

Yamuna: It is only by the mercy and drawing power of Their Lordships that I considered
trying to make it there for this event. I will do my best to be present, willing and able, as best I
can. Know that for certain. Then whatever will be, will be.

Update on another front: For months, Kar, Radha, Neem (Nimesh), Haribhakti, Dina and I
have prayed that one last time, our kirtan group from last year might be able to go on a Mayapur
pilgrimage to chant together. As plans go, it’s been touch and go, but today Kar, Radha, Dina and
I confirmed tickets for India just to do this. Haribhakti is already in Mayapur; Neem is seriously
working to join us as well. Here’s an invite to you and Ananda: Please consider joining us. It will
be a life-changing experience. Two short weeks, December 15 through the 30—try and join us.
Radha is pregnant and understands the value of exposing her child in the womb to this powerful
pilgrimage.

Know money and time is dear, but chances like this rarely manifest. Sweet Krishna
dreams.

We were hosted in England (Yamuna, Malati and me) many miles from the temple and
venue in London by a sincere family of disciples of Radhanath Swami. Each day we were ferried
to the various programs and connected with many dear and ever-treasured friends from England.
Though still sick with bronchitis, Yamuna was determined to reach out in her inimitable way and
touch the hearts of all of the devotees there. Writing after the event to Kartamasa and
Radhakunda, she synopsized the experience:

Yamuna: One thing that is very clear: If we speak of Krishna, churn the nectar of
repeating His glories or the glories of His pastimes, entourage or devotees, it fosters more
discussion amongst ourselves in conversation. This place is on fire with katha. For the last eight
days, we were led from place to place by extraordinary devotees eager to serve and anxious for
sanga. Some qualities that stood out: Intensity; Depth; Variegatedness; Exceptional
prasadam—the cooking expertise is near 10 out of 10; Warmth; Appreciation; Strength; Success;
Enthusiasm; Generosity; Presence. Hope you got a chance to hear and/or see the week’s activities
on streaming [internet]; if not, or if you wish a disc, write Kapila for one. It was a global historic
event in that, for seven days, so many took part in churning the ocean of Srila Prabhupada and
London Yatra katha.

The Soho temple president is someone you would love. To know him is to really treasure
him. He is the energy behind this whole event—his personal effulgence so bright you need
shades. In his early thirties, he’s a ten year brahmachari—absolutely focused on direct, dynamic,
genuine, exciting, creative, thoughtful Krishna Conscious activity; [he] loves chanting the Holy
Name. In the eyes of many old-timers, his Krishna Conscious vision is ushering in a new
generation of dynamism here in the UK Yatra.
 Radhanath Swami was here, weaving his way in and out of devotee enclaves, encouraging
as only he does so well. Today a carload of us [women] drove out to central Wales to visit our
dear Godbrother Vicitravirya, who for nearly a decade played a key role in UK management here.
He is in an advanced stage of Lou Gehrig’s disease, and though paralyzed from neck to toe, his
handsome and effulgent face still radiates his intelligence and peaceful nature—more so now than
ever before. He inspired us to the core with his thoughtful words of gratitude for all things
Krishna Conscious, especially his love for Srila Prabhupada and his appreciation for devotee
company. We had an a cappella kirtan with him, and in the end, all present teared up in
happiness.

Unknown devotee: I was in England three years ago, for the fortieth anniversary, and
Yamuna was there. Of course, I got the privilege to hear her sing face to face. I was sitting and
singing in the temple once and she was going to speak, and she sat next to me for maybe twenty
minutes; and later she called me and said, “Oh, you are a very good singer. You trained.” I felt
really embarrassed, “No, Mataji, we hear you every morning. We have been hearing you every
morning since we were in gurukula.” You can find people who say, “Just be humble.” You find
many people who say like that—it is part of the punch line. But she was very genuine. I felt an
energy from her; she was very, very humble—the way she said, “Oh, I haven’t learned anything,
I just sing.” I was very impressed by that. (RECORDED AT AUSTRALIAN MEMORIAL
SERVICE FOR YAMUNA 2012)
 A Last Mayapur Pilgrimage

Yamuna was still struggling with bronchitis and other health issues when we reached
Mayapur, yet she was ecstatic to be back in the holy dhama. Our Godsister Sitala, who Yamuna
appreciated for her keen intelligence and insight, secured an apartment for us to rent next door to
her own. Despite her declining health, Yamuna kept up lengthy and illustrative correspondences
with friends around the world, and her exuberance and otherworldly detachment from the bodily
concept is obvious in her writing:
 Yamuna: As promised, I wanted to send you an update on our travels. Please also write
of your journey at this time in your lives. We miss and value each of you so much. The drive
from Kolkata to Mayapur is about as long as the one from Vancouver to Saranagati, but it could
not be more different. In Canada, after reaching Hope, you get to the Thompson River gorge and
steep sloping mountains, and the remainder of the route is almost all nature, with only a sporadic
population all the way to Saranagati.

Here, from Howrah train station in Kolkata, you drive through probably one of the
densest populations on the planet for about a quarter of the way to Mayapur. Then slowly,
concrete, brick, steel and buildings thin out, and some land is seen. This is a tropical location,
where banana, date palm, mango and other fruit trees abound; then more and more fields of
edibles, especially rice fields and mustard fields. You pass through smallish street villages where
crops begin their wholesale route throughout Bengal—at this time of the year, gigantic mountains
and huge cartfuls of cauliflower, green bananas on long stalks, green-skinned guava and whitish
to pinkish long mouli radishes are in season; and this goes on for perhaps two-thirds of the way to
Mayapur.

Then when you get to Birnagar, where Thakur Bhaktivinoda was born in 1838 in a village
[he] described as heavenly, you see the remnants of that world. Now on both sides of the road,
small stalls sell goods to vehicle traffic, and off of that, winding paths through thick tropical
vegetation reveal small hand-made dwellings of mud with thatched roofs. Animals and humans,
from the youngest to the very old, are all moving about, active in a way that is very different from
anything in the West. Almost everyone is rendering some kind of service to someone; no laziness
here. Then it’s pretty much open fields all the way to the turnoff that says ISKCON and Mayapur,
and you are on Bhaktisiddhanta Road for 11 kilometers until you reach a long row of temples and
holy pilgrimage sites so dear to Gaudiya Vaishnavas—so dear to anyone on the planet who
values pure spiritual energy—and you have reached Mayapur dhama. The sides of the roads are
now lined with many stalls selling something, and bicycle rickshaws abound as the pilgrims’
transport, if they are not walking.

Sitala had arranged a reliable driver who ably met us on the Howrah station platform and
delivered us to where we are staying. There are many many large buildings for grihasthas
here—one-, two- and three-bedroom apartments, with tastefully designed red brick exteriors,
inside spaces with wide interior staircases, and apartments with electricity, wireless Internet
service, marble floors, fans and air conditioning. Each building has a brick-walled garden where
all sorts of organic vegetables grow almost year around, as well as many scented flowers that can
be collected for individual Deities in the grihastha ashrams. All in all, it’s perhaps the best
facility for grihasthas anywhere in ISKCON, and it’s in the dhama.
 Yamuna and Dina instruct the pilgrims

Dina and I are staying in a two-bedroom apartment just across the stairway from Sitala
and Hari Sauri—it has a sitting room, two bedrooms, a bathroom and kitchen, and a veranda. Kar
and Radha will stay in their place when they come in a few days, as Sitala is going to Australia at
that time. Kapila and Ananda are arriving from London when Kar and Radha arrive. Jahnavi and
her mom, one of our oldest and dearest Godsisters, arrive at the same time. Haribhakti is here and
wonderful company on all fronts. Within two days of our arrival, he arranged a cell phone for us
and got us hooked up to the Internet. He is now working on making copies of Gitavali for our
chanting sessions, which will begin hopefully on the 17th.

Since arriving here, both of us are up at 1:30 AM to chant japa, where the night is quiet
save for outbursts of great drama from jackals, who whine with loud intensity. Then at 4 AM,
arati in Srila Prabhupada’s samadhi, then arati in the temple. The morning program goes on until
9 AM. Dina has been going to both aratis; we watch class online in our apartment, something
that is a godsend for me, as the temple is a bit of a walk away. Even at night, the heat remains
strong for my liking. As you know, yesterday was Sri Sri Radha-Banabehariji’s thirty-fourth
birthday, falling on Srila Bhaktisiddhanta’s Disappearance Day. Dina went to his samadhi at the
Chaitanya Math and spent several hours there chanting. At noon, here in our ISKCON temple,
devotees observed the classic pushpa samadhi as is traditional, with a wonderful offering of
bhoga. I stayed back and made my first offering here in Mayapur: cauliflower, potato, tomato
panir veg, and basmati rice salad with apples—a simple feast, but a most relishable pastime.
Today Dina also purchased the three-volume book on the life and times of Srila Bhaktisiddhanta
Saraswati Thakur. We all find it a powerful study—a thoughtful and scholarly set of books full of
insightful information. In the afternoon we read aloud Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati’s favorite
dishes. One of them was a soup made from cooked and blended green papaya and eaten daily
(our Srila Prabhupada very much favored a louki squash veg in a broth). Bhaktisiddhanta also
liked urad dal, puspanna, laphra vyanjana, fried chickpeas tossed in savory masala, fried peanuts
in hing and salt, and rasam soup, South Indian style. Rasgulla was his favorite sweet, and he
liked lots of salt—so much that many found his maha way too salty. If any of you do not know
what these dishes are, most are found in Lord Krishna’s Cuisine, so you can look them up.
 At Srila Bhaktisiddhanta’s samadhi

The Deities in this temple are perhaps the most beautiful in the world. Every Deity face is
simply magnificent. The dressing is flawless, beautifully designed and elegantly clothed—the
dresses fitting precisely to show off each individual Deity form. Both night and day sringar is
exceptional; there is always something special going on in and around the service of these Deities
in this temple. Yesterday was Saturday, and each Saturday evening the small Radha-Madhava
Deities are brought around the entire compound on the back of a small elephant who resides here.
Nice youth kirtan accompanies that entourage. This morning so many guests from Kolkata were
here, there was no room in the temple to even get darshan of Madhava’s altar. Ramadevi, an old
and dear Scottish-born Godsister from the UK, who served Sri Sri Radha-Gokulananda as pujari
for over 20 years, now resides here in Mayapur. When Dina and I lived in the UK from 1980
through 1984, Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari resided on the altar at the Manor for one of those years,
and Ramadevi made them three sets of clothes. Among her other services here in Mayapur,
Ramadevi works with the twin head pujaris on festival sringar, and also occasionally designs and
stitches outfits for the presiding Deities on all three altars. Yesterday she explained that every
December 31, Their Lordships are offered one of several yearly outfits of flower dress sringar; at
this time of year, garden flowers are abundant. She kindly extended the invitation that we six
female pilgrims—Radhakunda, Jahnavi, Ananda, Guru Carana Padma, Dina and I—design and
make the flower dress for small Radha-Madhava for this festival. They are the original archa
vigraha of this entire Mayapur temple project, and I have not had the opportunity to serve Them
directly since the Magh Mela in Allahabad in January 1971—thirty-eight years ago! We gladly
accepted the offer and look forward to executing that service.
 Making flower outfit for Sri Sri Radha-Madhava

How enlivening and appropriate that here in the dhama, Vaishnava devotees place the
Holy Name and the archa vigraha in the center of New Year festivities. How could any other
kind of New Year celebration top that for sheer joy, auspiciousness and all-around good sanga?
Time to get back to chanting now. This is a glimpse of our world here in Mayapur dhama. It is
beyond description, individually sampled and relished, rich in quality sanga, with old devotee
friends visiting here from around the world and newly established friendships with saintly souls
who reside here. We are so fortunate—all of us connected together by our ISKCON
Founder-Acharya A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Srila Prabhupada. (EMAIL TO FRIENDS DEC. 5,
2009)

As some of our young pilgrimage group would not arrive until three weeks after us,
Yamuna encouraged them from afar.

Dear Kar and Radha and choti—Good morning dandavats to you! From inside the still
foggy dawn of Mayapur: the sound of the gardener’s broom brushing his earthen domain; bicycle
wheels bouncing on the uneven brick paths; the compound’s screeching birds in various kinds of
play along with the intermittent kooh-kooh-ko pigeon warble; and lorry horns and chanting reverb
from across the river filtering this way. From inside this Mayapur-longing heart, words from a
favorite prayer tendered your way to soothe the separation.

Gauranga bolite habe, pulaka sarira, hari hari bolite, nayane babe nera...

—EMAIL TO KARTAMASA AND RADHAKUNDA, JAN. 10, 2009

It is difficult to find words to express how compelling and joyful Yamuna’s last Mayapur
pilgrimage was for many of us. Each day would find us immersed in another holy tirtha that was
touched by the all-merciful glance of Lord Chaitanya, one of His dear associates, or our parama
gurus. As the other youth arrived, we made our way to Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur’s residence,
Svananda Sukhada Kunja, in Godrumadvipa, and had a soulful kirtan abounding with our deep
gratitude for his prayers and legacy; we prayed for his blessings for our upcoming Gitavali
bhajans. We went by boat down Mother Ganga to Mamagachi to take darshan of the Sripat of Sri
Vrindavan das Thakur and Vasudeva Datta. We embraced the tree under which Lord Nityananda
married Sri Jahnava Mata and Sri Vasudha in Ambika Kalna, and ecstatically jumped and
shouted before the Deities of Gauridas Pandit. We went on parikrama of the Govardhan Hill that
Srila Saraswati Thakur had constructed at the Chaitanya Math, chanted japa on the banks of Sri
Radhakunda, and held kirtan at his samadhi.

On the boat to Mamagachi

Govardhan parikrama at Chaitanya Math

We gathered at Srila Prabhupada’s samadhi, and after kirtan, Yamuna asked each devotee
to express their realizations:
 Nadia devi: I don’t know what I did in my past lives to somehow be able to be in
Yamuna’s presence so much in the last few years of my life. I didn’t even try to do all of those
things. I just happened to be in India every time she was there, and she extended her hand and
wanted me to come with her, and it just happened. She would be like, “Come! Come; it’s great!”
Being with her in Mayapur and seeing her there in the samadhi walking up to where
[Prabhupada’s] murti is—it is quite high. But she just went there, and she just started crying….
[Then] before we started kirtan at the samadhi, she asked what were some realizations that we
had. And I told her that I saw how much love she had for Srila Prabhupada. It was just so
obvious, so tangible. That was really amazing to see, like to see Srila Prabhupada in his kirtans or
in his pictures, but to actually be able to feel his presence in her. When I was around her I could
feel Srila Prabhupada coming through her when she would talk and sing. And to be there when
she would chant her japa—you could feel that she was literally tasting the Holy Name. This was
something I can’t even describe, to see the tears just stream—not like she was crying, but they
just flowed.

At Srila Prabhupada℉s samadhi

Haribhakti das: For me, I think [there was] just so much love, compassion and most of
all, I think, forgiveness. I did so many silly things. And still, they didn’t reject me. So that left an
impression on me. In Mayapur, one time we got a flatbed rickshaw for Yamuna, and then she
invited somebody else to sit on the rickshaw, and the rickshaw walla started complaining; he
didn’t want to move—didn’t want to go anywhere unless we gave him three times the price. So I
got really frazzled. And in my frustration, I said to Yamuna prabhu, “I wish you would have told
me that it was going to be more than one person, and then I could have negotiated.” As soon as
the words came out of my mouth, I knew that this isn’t proper etiquette to speak to somebody in
this way. This isn’t how I should be speaking to Yamuna. So an hour or two later, when we were
back at their apartment, I walked in and apologized. I said I was so sorry that I spoke like that.
And she just smiled and said, “No, you were just expressing yourself.” And she smiled. Even
though I had actually made an offense, she didn’t take it like that. That is what I mean when I say
such pure love.
 Yamuna with Vraja-lila and Ekavira

Jananivasa das: I think Yamuna devi is the longest-standing pujari. She is actually my
guru. She told me to worship the Deities in Mayapur when I got initiation in Mayapur. So she
was my first guru, and I have always respected her as such. To be in Yamuna devi’s presence is
just like being in Prabhupada’s presence; it was like you had to talk about Prabhupada. That was
it. There was no question of any other subject matter; you just had to talk about Prabhupada, like
they were inseparable—Srila Prabhupada and Yamuna.

The last time I saw her, she started offering prayers. I can’t repeat the humility she had,
what she said in her prayer, how she was describing herself in humility. And I was smiling and
offering. And then she walked away—like in the middle of saying something, she just walked
off. And when I looked, she was doing a little dance—something strange, but funky dance. And
she started circumambulating me, and I was turning around, “Where is she going?” and then she
came back again. She said, “You know, we don’t have to share those old memories and
affections. You know we can, just by seeing in the eye, seeing in your eye, we can understand
that—it’s summarized. We didn’t have to go back and say how we met and things like that. She
had such a loving glance, and she was looking at me. We didn’t have to say anything.
 When she came after she had left India with Prabhupada, she didn’t come back for many,
many years. And then finally she came to Mayapur, and she said, “I have to tell you a story.
When I was in Vrindavan with Guru das, we were making the Krishna-Balarama Temple. And I
went to Bombay to see Srila Prabhupada to ask him some instructions.” So she started to explain:
and Srila Prabhupada said, “So you can make Radha-Shyamasundara, and They can be life-size.”
And Yamuna said, “But Srila Prabhupada, They are already made.” “You can’t make life-size?”
“No, Srila Prabhupada.” “You can get the Astha Sakhi then. You can make Astha Sakhi
life-size.” Yamuna said, “But, Prabhupada, the Deities have already been made; the altar has
been made and [it is too small]….” “Visakha and Lalita, you can make life-size?” “No,
Prabhupada, everything has already been made, and it’s all small size.” Then Prabhupada didn’t
say anything else about this. Then Yamuna told me, “Here look; there is Radha-Madhava and the
Astha Sakhis. This is what Prabhupada was talking about. This is what Prabhupada was
visualizing, because Vrindavan and Mayapur are non-different.” She said, “This is exactly what
Prabhupada told me he wanted, life-size Radha-Krishna and Astha Sakhi.”

Each evening in Mayapur, as we gathered to chant the prayers of Gitavali, so many eager
chanters came that they spilled out the doors and down the stairs. Kartamasa das led with
harmonium, his resonant voice and deep immersion in the prayers inspiring everyone else;
Haribhakti played mridanga in perfect rhythm to the changes in Kar’s meter and voice; Nadia
played kartals; Jahnavi played her violin in such synchronicity with Kar that we were stunned;
and I played a borrowed large tamboura. Yet it was the combined voices raised in glorification of
prayer which truly transformed each person in the room—amazing, rich voices deeply immersed
in prayer. It was simply magical, or as Yamuna would say, “the Krishna Magic.” After each
program, Kapila’s lovely wife, Ananda, would bring in a huge plate of fruit prasadam she had
painstakingly prepared, and serve each attendee. We could not wait for each evening session, and
I believe every devotee who came could speak volumes on the transformative potency of those
sessions.
 Ekavira das: Bhakti-tirtha Maharaja gave me an instruction to go to the holy dhama and
take shelter of the Holy Name. And so we were in Sridham Mayapur, Vraja-lila and I, in 2010.
And I remember paying dandavats in front of Bhakti-tirtha Maharaja’s samadhi; and I prayed to
him to actually help me to follow this instruction and take shelter of the Holy Name in a way that
is pleasing to him. As I got up off of the ground, there was a devotee standing there, and [he]
said, “Are you Ekavira?” And I said, “Yes.” And he said, “I have a message for you from
Yamuna. She has a kirtan group, and she would like you and Vrajalila to come and participate.
And it starts in two days.” And I said, “Wow. This is really quick. I just made this prayer, and as
soon as I got up, this devotee was standing here.” And so we participated in this group.

Dinatarini, Siddhi, Yamuna and Ekavira

Yamuna expressed how Srila Prabhupada emphasized how she should learn and study the
prayers of Bhaktivinoda Thakur. And then she gave certain pastimes with Prabhupada and how
he expressed that no one writes prayers like Narottama das Thakur and Bhaktivinoda Thakur.
And she talked about how he used to just sit on the porch and just chant a line over and over and
over again. And so she said for years she didn’t really take that instruction very seriously. But
then she started to take it seriously, and she started to study the prayers. And then she started
encouraging other devotees to study the prayers….

But there was one particular devotee who was leading, and he had such a subtle voice.
And I was talking to Mother Yamuna after the program one time when we were in Mamagachi,
and she was expressing that his name was Kartamasa prabhu. She said that he has a very simple
voice, nothing special, but he does something that is quite unique: he chants without the ego.
“And therefore, that is the reason why he is the leader of our kirtan group.” So when she
addressed the gathering, she said, “I would like you to make a few commitments. One is to be
here—if you are starting today, to be here throughout the duration of this program. It will last at
least two weeks, and we will chant from 6:30 until 9 PM. And we would like you to be on
time—to be punctual. All of the devotees’ time here is valuable, and we want to start on time and
end on time. And we would like you to chant from your heart—to fully participate and give your
all while you are here.”

[She added that] the kirtan leader is very important; but even more important … are those
who are actually participating in the kirtan and responding to the leader. And then she said, “We
would also like you to leave your shoes and egos at the door.” And she just had the amazing
combination of the love of a mother, the gravity of a warrior and the simplicity and ease of a
child. And that simplicity was such that it encouraged people to approach her. She was so
approachable and so loving…. She just had an amazing relationship in relishing the Holy Name.

Jahnavi devi: When my mum and I left Mayapur after the Gitavali retreat, we went to
say a final goodbye to Yamuna and Dina. It was early in the morning, and Yamuna had been
bedridden for days with what seemed like bronchitis as well as a potential kidney infection. She
welcomed us eagerly and conversed with love, but was clearly unwell, a little feverish still, and
coughing. We shared reflections of gratitude for the time spent together in service of the Holy
Name, and then got ready to leave. Before walking out the door, she got up with great difficulty
and went to the kitchen. I was stunned when she came out with a stack of foil wrapped dal
puris—“Srila Prabhupada says good for traveling,” she announced. She’d obviously been making
them since much earlier in the morning. We were bowled over by her love and care, and when we
ate them I had a deep experience of how that love was actually invested in the prasadam itself.
Unlike any other time I had tasted her cooking, when it was always flawlessly prepared, this time
the puris were not fully cooked through. I knew this would’ve usually been unacceptable to her,
and I could understand that perhaps her ill health was the reason. But far from making them
inedible, the devotion we could taste in every doughy bite carried us on a cloud on our journey
home. We relished every morsel and made them last for several meals.

Vraja Sevaki devi: In seeing Yamuna, we could see actually what it was we were trying
to attain, and not how easy it was, but how simple. She was very simple in her loving affection.
When she was last in Mayapur, in the mornings, Dinatarini would take everyone to some
different pilgrimage places, and we would chant. We went to Bhaktivinoda Thakur’s house one
day, and Yamuna was also not very well at that time. So we would go on a rickshaw. Haribhakti
would arrange one of the flatbed rickshaws, and Yamuna and I would go together. “The disabled
vehicle,” we called it. When we went there, everybody was riding their bikes and crossing the
river separately, not all coming together. Somehow, Yamuna and I ended up there together, quite
ahead of the pack. And we went into the mandir, and it was empty, and we just sat down and
started chanting japa. It was very quiet there. I was watching Yamuna, and again, tears were
coming from her eyes, and her eyes were closed and she was chanting. And I watched her for a
little while and thought, “I wish I could chant like that. She is very fortunate. She is very lucky.”
And she would always lean into me and rest her head on my shoulder, which was the sweetest
thing, and she said, “Vraji, you know what?” I said, “What?” She said, “That was the most
ecstatic Krishna Conscious day I have ever had in my life.” And for her it was like she meant it.
And I am sure she said that many times.
 As our bhajan evenings progressed, the devotees from Mayapur TV asked if they could
film them because so many devotees were unable to attend; so some of those memorable bhajans
can still be seen and felt through the wonders of modern technology. Before we left to return to
Canada, Yamuna spoke to a large gathering at the community center about the importance of
prayerful immersion in the Holy Name—one of her favorite topics.

Yamuna: We chanted all the time. We would walk around chanting. We chanted when
we cooked. There was never talk in the kitchen, only chanting. Prabhupada infused us to chant a
lot. And then I suppose one of the most profound kirtans of that time was on Memorial Day. As
you know, Srila Prabhupada had a stroke on the East Coast, and he was paralyzed. We didn’t
think Prabhupada was going to live. And we had just met him. Even before he left, one night
Prabhupada sat on his vyasasana, and his first disciple Ravindra Svarupa decided he couldn’t
stay. He was the first, what we called, blooped devotee. And he crawled on his hands and knees
in the front door through a very crowded temple room, up the stairs to Prabhupada’s vyasasana,
and put his head in Srila Prabhupada’s lap. Prabhupada stroked his head, and this man said, “I
have to leave; I can’t stay.” Prabhupada was very gentle. He said, “Please don’t go. This Krishna
Consciousness is such a nice thing. You won’t find any other lifestyle that can come near this
Krishna Consciousness. We have the best philosophy, the best food, the best music and the best
books.” But he had to go, and after that boy left, Prabhupada said, “I am an old man; I may die at
any moment.” And that just struck terrible fear into our hearts. So I think we were more attached
to chanting after he said that. Our attachment to Srila Prabhupada grew because he was our
Spiritual Master; he was our best well-wisher…. When we talk about love of God—my
goodness, the love that Srila Prabhupada showered on his devotees was unbelievable. He was so
loving and encouraging. You can tell that if you study his letters. Before I came here to Mayapur,
I read the letters, I have read them six or seven times, and I am stunned at how Prabhupada
encouraged us—just one letter after another, encouraging.

So afterward, the devotees sent us an instruction from New York [requesting us] to “Pray
to Lord Nrsimhadeva for Prabhupada’s life;” and if Lord Nrsimhadeva hears your prayers,
Prabhupada will live. So that was a new complete high period of kirtan. We had our first
twelve-hour kirtan in front of Lord Jagannatha. Then again, we prayed for Prabhupada. And then
he came back. The more you chant the Holy Name, the more you will love chanting the Holy
Name. “[There is] nothing higher than the Holy Name; nothing greater than the Holy Name.”
[This is] a wonderful prayer by Bhaktivinoda Thakur. The Holy Name is the cynosure of so many
devotees’ lives, and as the decades pass, the devotees are more and more realizing that sharing
the Holy Name with others is some of the best kind of activity you can do.

You know it’s a miracle I am here. I don’t take it lightly that I got here—totally a miracle
to me. I always understand that you don’t get to the dhama with a ticket—not to the real dhama.
We can sightsee maybe, but I am very, very grateful for this stay in Mayapur by Srila
Prabhupada’s kindness…. This year, in January, we brought a kirtan party of devotees from the
West to chant in Vrindavan, go on parikrama to holy places and visit the samadhis, and to beg
the mercy of great saintly persons who came before—who brought Srila Prabhupada. We went
there to chant these prayers, and then because of the engagement in London, we got the idea to do
it here in Mayapur. So again a group of devotees from different parts of the world gathered every
night for three weeks relishing Gitavali. So that was one of the main reasons we wanted to come
to Mayapur this time, and now this is finished—relishing another level: Mayapur. But to chant
these prayers here was just indescribably powerful, wasn’t it? For those of you who experienced
that, you will never forget it. It was really special…. Devotees are all packed up together by
following these instructions. That is the wonderful thing. And everything becomes so positive
and so hopeful and so glorious.

From Mayapur, Yamuna and I spent a few days in New Delhi at ISKCON’s Guesthouse,
meeting wonderful devotees and old friends, and being inspired by the book distribution
programs there. We were warmly received by Gopal Krishna Maharaja, and as usual, our needs
were cared for by Madhava Mangala, Kanai Priya and his family, and many others. In their
company, it was easy to forget that we were in the middle of such a metropolis—as different
from our rural Saranagati as a place can be. Then we spent another two glorious weeks in
Vrindavan. Yamuna wrote a summary of her realizations from our pilgrimage to the residents of
Saranagati Village:

Dear resident and out-of station Saranagati-ites;

 Pranam dandavats; Jaya Srila Prabhupada!

I pray your New Year is unfolding auspiciously, both individually and as appreciators of
Saranagati. For us, pilgrimage travel has been both educational and inspirational, affording us a
chance to see how other devotees practice Krishna Consciousness together. Although we are
counting down the last seventeen days until our return to Saranagati, still I felt inspired to send
off a final few words.

Reflections on internal and external discord and harmony: Just before we left Mayapur, a
twenty-year old devotee man jumped off the roof of the six-story Lotus Building; miraculously,
he lived, as he landed on soft ground, but [suffered] severe injuries. The community rallied
around the family with well wishes, service, and love. It also caused many to reflect on the why
of such action. What problems led to this action? How can we create healthy devotee
environments to ward off unwanted quarrel and frustration, depression, and discontent in our
ranks? One enduring Srila Prabhupada theme evident on this trip is that the only real problem in
this world is a lack of Krishna Consciousness. How to solve this global world problem? Srila
Prabhupada’s solution: put Krishna in the center of our lives and exchanges, share the nine-fold
processes of devotional service and be happy. This may sound simplistic, but it is not; rather, it is
a profound and far-reaching solution. And wow, the fantastic ways we have seen this work
wonders when done in a real and genuine way. How to do this may be elusive to many of us, but
when it is done right, it works. We heard this testimonial again and again: when Krishna is in the
center, family and devotee conflicts recede, and loving exchanges and harmony increase; quarrel
and confusion recede, and self worth and faith increase; and so on. The farther Krishna is from
our center, the more the propensity is to feel frustration and/or depressed, quarrel and argue, form
positions and defend positions, and criticize and undermine others. But we have also witnessed
on this pilgrimage that when Krishna was factually placed in the center, individual selfishness
and egos were less evident—both in leaders and followers—and harmony and balance followed
suit. This success formula of Srila Prabhupada works. The more we become examples of its
efficacy, the more we can truly change the hearts of the innocent and ignorant. How bright our
future if we but try!

Reflections on accessing Vrindavan dhama: More than ever, pilgrims and residents must
learn to see Vrindavan with hearts and ears, and not externally with the eyes, nose and other
senses. Though there are still pockets of old Vrindavan fairly intact, maya continues to blanket
much of the dhama with her illusory energy, so that externally it continues to look more like a
tourist destination than spiritual dhama.

•The open fields, towering trees, soft shimmering Raman Reti sands and forests seen in
film taken 30 years ago are in rapid decline.

•The once earthen parikrama path is now a near solid band of traffic on concrete, with
solid rows of buildings and strewn garbage on both sides.

•The new four-lane highway connecting the trunk road to Vrindavan village will soon be
wall-to-wall buildings—with numerous vacation flats and apartment complexes already built and
many more under construction; many new temples, rows of shops, and so forth.
 •On some days traffic is back-to-back stalled, or barely crawling—cars, coaches, lorries,
motorcycle and bicycle horns in constant use—for mile upon mile on end.

•Strewn garbage is on virtually every lane, alley and street.

Without access to pure Krishna Consciousness, these intense material [diversions] could
boggle the mind. So how to access the real Vrindavan? The same way we must in other Krishna
Conscious temples around the world—by watering the root of the bhakti tree by chanting the
Holy Names and purifying our hearts. Hear nicely from the right source, follow Srila
Prabhupada’s instructions, serve the guru and Vaishnavas, and put Krishna in the center.
Appreciate you all, and looking forward to our best year ever together. Hari hari biphale.
(EMAIL TO SARANAGATI DEVOTEES, JAN. 10, 2009)

“My Body is Finished, but My Spirit is Soaring” —

Saranagati — 2010

It was clear to me that as 2009 ended and 2010 began, Yamuna’s health was continuing to
decline. Of course, she pushed on through each obstacle, and her consciousness remained firmly
focused on her devotional service. She was unafraid of death—even nonchalant—and felt that
when it was time for her to leave this body, she was ready—and even welcomed it. She would
humbly remark, “I have made little advancement in this life, but I have tried, and my only prayer
is that Srila Prabhupada may bless me with his association again.” We would have long
discussions regarding each of our wishes when the inevitable occurred; and she could be
intransigent regarding doctors and hospitals and her desire to avoid them. Yet as the year
progressed and activities like walking, sleeping and breathing became major undertakings, I
began gently encouraging her to go to the Bhaktivedanta Hospital where she could be cared for
by devotee physicians. Still, for most of the year, she resisted and remained upbeat. Writing to a
friend in March, she said, “My body is finished, but my spirit is soaring.” There could not be a
more descriptive statement about Yamuna’s consciousness.

Nimesh: I was just wondering if you could tell me something, about anything...

Yamuna: Well, first off, there is the subject matter about this and that stuff. Most people
go through life telling each other mostly about that: shared trivia about life as experienced under
the influence of various modes of nature. That’s an eternally colossal mixed bag to tell each other
about. Then secondly, there is [what] the speaker is focused on in his or her life, and just wants to
share with anyone who will listen, maybe uplifting or noteworthy or compelling—and on and on
that goes. For you today, from me today—that something about anything. Never feel
disconnected from us. Always know that despite the miles, we are here for you on any level of
company, friendship, support and association, and that when we connect together, the result is
good.

Please keep close, as inspired that is, and let the potency and presence of Krishna in our
lives unfold—sweet, sweeter, sweetest, and on and on. Thank you so much. Your pishima and
friend. (EMAIL TO NIMESH, JUNE 14, 2010)

Yamuna’s Inspiring Talk on Devotional Life to the

Students at Govardhan Academy

When Yamuna and I were invited to speak to the children at the Govardhan Academy
later that spring, Yamuna eloquently spoke about her devotional journey. The entire presentation
will be available on the website, but some poignant and instructive extracts are included here:

Yamuna: Srila Prabhupada had a little apartment; the temple was at 518 Frederick Street,
and next to the Chinese laundry was the entrance to an apartment building at 512 Frederick, and
Prabhupada was on the third floor—Number 35. Janaki and Mukunda were two doors down. So
they were the seniormost people in the group, and they were hosting Srila Prabhupada. So I asked
Mukunda, “I would like to talk to Swamiji,” and he arranged for me to go. Srila Prabhupada had
a rocking chair … and he would sit by his bay window and chant…. So I came in. His eyes got
big: “Oh, you are back.” “Yes, Swamiji.” He said, “So what do you have planned next?”
“Swamiji, I would like to go to the highest place. I think Tibet is the highest place.” He was
really sober, and he was looking. You know how devotees sometimes describe being in Srila
Prabhupada’s presence—that he was able to look at you, but he looked through you; he saw
inside of you. He could see your heart; he could see your soul; he could see your thoughts. It was
a very powerful experience. It wasn’t as if he was just glancing; it was full presence. Full
presence.

So he was up in this rocking chair, and I was on the ground; and I remember his eyes at
that point were half open, and he was looking down, and they were little gray slits of
illumination. His eyes became very intense, and he said in a very quiet voice, “I can take you to a
place much higher than Tibet. Just see. Just see.” And I got goose bumps, and my hair stood on
end. And I said, “Okay, I’ll see. I’d like to see.” And that was the moment I decided to commit
myself to trying to relish the process of Krishna Consciousness with Srila Prabhupada as my
Spiritual Master. I may have become a little dull in that respect—some of my Godbrothers and
Godsisters were much faster in coming to that—but I wanted to try to be sure that I could do it
before I said I could, because I thought it was a very serious choice. Becoming a devotee wasn’t
something that we took lightly. It was actually a very sober decision.

So we all come to that point where we say, “Oh, this is a short life. I have had so many
lives. I’ve been conditioned in the material world for so many births, and now I am in the human
birth; let me give just this one life to seriously take to this process of Krishna Consciousness.”

When my sister had trouble with her Krishna Consciousness in 1969 and actually came
and said to Srila Prabhupada, “I’m leaving,” Prabhupada got big tears in his eyes. He cried. And
he looked at her and said, “You will not find a better philosophy in this whole world.” There is
nothing like the knowledge that we have in Krishna Consciousness. And every morning that we
read Bhagavatam, we come to the same conclusion. There is nothing like the potency of
Srimad-Bhagavatam. Just over and over we can read the same chapters, Bhagavad-gita,
Srimad-Bhagavatam, Nectar of Devotion and the Caitanya-caritamrta….

And the Holy Name is the way in this age. To try to understand what pure chanting is.
Now Aindra has just now passed, and he was somebody who stayed in Vrindavan for twenty-five
years, really focusing at the lotus feet of the Lord, not leaving Vrindavan, and chanting. So what
are the different kinds of chanting—offensive, shallow chanting, pure chanting; that journey of
understanding and relishing Krishna as the Holy Name—there is nothing like that.

So Prabhupada said, “There is nothing like our philosophy; it is the best philosophy.
There is nothing like our food. You won’t find any other kind of nourishment like Krishna
Consciousness … Please don’t go.” But when the false ego comes in, and we become covered
over by not following the process, it just happens quickly, doesn’t it? Forgetting Krishna can
happen really quickly; we know it in a day. And if you look at yourself in a twenty-four-hour
day, where your mind goes, it’s amazing; it can go all kinds of places, can’t it? So when we don’t
follow the process that Prabhupada gave us, then we become a little dull, and our ideas become
very prominent, and we get a little weak and tend to forget Krishna. So he gave us this process.
He said, “It is glorious, please take it. Make it your life.” This life goes by so quickly. I know you
are teenagers; it seems like forever between one year and the next, but you know. Even for you,
who are in your mid-thirties now, the years go by fast.

Yamuna, Jahnavi and baby Ghanashyam

Too Much “Gitavali” Nectar in Mayapur — Let’s Chant it

Again

Yamuna was so inspired by the chanting of Gitavali in Mayapur that she wanted to share
it again with the devotees in Saranagati, so that summer we again began the Thakur’s songbook.
Many guests were also able to experience the abundant joy of the Thakur’s Holy Name–saturated
prayers in his Gitavali, along with the dedicated “regulars” from Saranagati. Yamuna felt blessed
by their enthusiastic and prayerful chanting before the Deities of Radha-Banabehari, and eagerly
looked forward to each and every session. Her exuberance, encouragement (“That was the best
kartal playing ever!”) and enthusiasm can readily be heard in the recordings.

Jahnavi devi: During a stay in Saranagati in the summer of 2010, I got to join in with one
Gitavali chanting session. My time there was a brief pause from traveling around the country,
presenting kirtan to a wider community of yoga practitioners and spiritualists. In that context, I
was usually on a stage, presenting a “performance-style” kirtan designed to be eye catching and
lively for those not so familiar with the practice yet. It had left me feeling a little weary of the
constant battle between the ego and the spiritual intelligence when in the public eye, and I was
eagerly looking forward to taking part in a more simple, sweet kirtan experience. At the
insistence of others, I was to play my violin in the kirtan. I usually did, especially because I was
regularly in front of large audiences where we used many instruments. This was something that
Yamuna never failed to encourage, though she cautioned me on many occasions about the subtle
dangers of being in front of appreciative crowds. We began this kirtan as they usually did, with a
reading from the autobiography of Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur. This was something that everyone
loved, and we laughed and fell silent in turn at the profound and deeply personal revelations that
were shared in the Thakur’s own voice. This set the mood perfectly for the kirtan. Yamuna was
expert in curating and guiding an event to create just the right tone and atmosphere for personal
realization. We began to chant, responding to Kartamasa’s beautiful and sincere singing, and as I
usually did, I would pick up my violin to accompany, playing in and around the melody line. But
in the all pervasive atmosphere of humility and devotion, I suddenly felt a creeping discomfort.
My violin felt cumbersome, and when I sang, I noticed my voice in a different way than before. I
realized that the presence of such advanced devotees was forcing me to look my pride right in the
face. I realized how attached I was to being recognized as a good singer and musician, and how
far I was from true humility. I put my violin down and lowered the volume of my voice, trying to
process these feelings and remain focused on chanting.

Yamuna had shared with me many stories of her times leading kirtan with Srila
Prabhupada, and I was always struck by her total disinterest in recognition of her talent. Every
occasion that she begged or instructed me to sing mangal arati for the Deities came flooding to
my mind, and I recalled how much I had relished the chance to show that “I could do it.” I felt
totally crushed in the understanding that her encouragement was not in any way a mundane
appreciation of my talent, but was all about nurturing my offering of my abilities in devotional
service. Foolishly, I had accepted it otherwise. In that moment I tried to follow her example and
offer my heart to Srila Prabhupada—praying for service and detachment from the desire for
honor. Later, she said, “You didn’t play your fiddle much tonight Janbee. What happened?” I felt
embarrassed to share my realization with her, afraid of sounding too pompous or like I was
fishing for encouragement. “I wasn’t feeling so well,” I said. “I have a headache.” She
immediately began offering remedies and urged me to go and rest. In this way, I learned how the
Holy Name, combined with the presence and atmosphere surrounding a great devotee, can evoke
heartfelt realization without any further exchange of words. Here at Radha-Banabehari Mandir, I
find sanctuary—devotion, depth, humor and love.
 Yamuna’s Saranagati Parrot Festival

Many Saranagati residents had approached Yamuna that spring to schedule a date for the
“Parrot Festival” she had conceived over a year previously. Exhilarated at the prospect, Yamuna
began its planning by setting up sewing circles at the Govardhan Academy and personally sewing
the outfits of some of our sewing-impaired devotees. In an email to Kartamasa, Yamuna
expanded on her idea:

Yamuna: I had one idea for a festival around the theme of our parrot sringar this
year—have adult resident devotees, including the Milkmaids, draw chits from the nine processes
of devotional service. Then members of the nine groups can make presentations on the process of
devotional service they drew. Each of the nine groups of devotees might also take the
responsibility of organizing one prasadam meal for the festival as well. Depending on the
number of participants, we would have four or five in each group. In this way, we can have a
one-, two- or three-day festival directly glorifying the Deities in the valley in a glorious fashion.
(EMAIL TO KARTAMASA, APR. 9, 2009)

Yamuna organized each facet of the elaborate festival, where all of the Deities in
Saranagati would be showcased and worshiped in the community temple, and which included
interactive presentations by individuals and groups of devotees around the nine processes of
devotional service. Her desire to honor each contribution is beautifully illustrated in her email to
friends on the eve of the festival:

Dear Devotees, Hare Krishna.

This is a special missive to you, our valley residents who are far away at the moment, and
not able to be here to relish this event tomorrow—Yogi, Yami and Lilamrita in malls, Bala
Krishna studying health care in some distant place, Lalasamayi and Hanif in far Eastern Canada,
and Bhava and Lalita, unable to attend for health reasons.

It’s also for you far away, in the UK and Alachua and India, and the devotees not able to
make it here today for various reasons. I felt inspired to share some observations from activity
today, the eve before the Festival of Saranagati tomorrow. This is quite a statement, but not an
exaggeration. In all my Krishna Consciousness years, rarely have I witnessed such joyous,
heart-felt, spontaneous, generous—especially generous—direct devotional service shared
together. How wonderful to witness Srila Prabhupada’s presence in the service mood of his
multi-generational followers. The Deities worshiped in ISKCON’s Saranagati temple were
dressed in new clothes, designed and stitched by Mahojvala for Kulasekhara, and Their Lordships
looked stunning. Twenty-two sets of individual Deities will attend the festivities tomorrow, and
represent an astounding three hundred and twenty-four years of archana worship by Saranagati
residents—quite remarkable for a community this size. Nearly every resident was here today
engaging in some kind of preparation service.

Jaisacinandana was senior visionary today on decoration, and along with his mostly
Milkmaid crew, just went over the top decorating with the last available seasonal deciduous
branches of fall leaves. Jai and crew picked many types of greens, and Harilila robbed her garden
of her remaining greenables. They are turning the temple room into Vrindavan. If this was not
enough, Jai had the vision to pull off a Vrindavan fall harvest theme, as is classically done in
Vrindavan, and purchased seven or eight full-case boxes of multicolored fall apples to decorate
with. When Dina and I left the temple at 5 PM this afternoon, mounds (closer to hillocks) of
apples were everywhere—a beautiful vision of opulent service for the pleasure of all the visiting
Lordships who will be present tomorrow. What else? Uttama shopped in Vancouver on Main
Street to purchase cloth for all three altars and, with her flair and gift for style and taste, laid
down the basis for three glorious altars. Devahuti and family (Wow! Is this family talented or
what?) made scores of miniature, finely-detailed baby origami parrots in multicolors, with tiny
feet that attached to things. Vases of greens were made for the altars, with these little parrots
perched on vase leaves.

Treasured Lilamrita and Yami, though out of station, were clearly present in spirit with
their tangible contribution to the festivities. Two years ago, Lila, Yami and KC purchased many
sets of Oriyan-style parrot and bird art in Jagannatha Puri just for this event. In their absence, and
in honor of this purchase, Visakha placed all the colorfully-painted birds around the Deity bases
that Dina made for each set of Deities to stand on.

At Govardhan Academy, in Dina’s scroll saw class, twelve truly professional-looking

parrots were cut and hand-painted by the students to hang in fresh tree branches behind the altars.
Hard to describe just how vibrant and alive these wooden parrots turned out; just suffice it to say,
they are gloriously beautiful.

Further, Govardhan Academy students made a beautiful banner commemorating the event
saying: First Annual Festival of Saranagati. So nicely executed, made with detailed care, love and
devotion. For many hours, the team of Jayanti, Chaya and Narangi worked stringing up crepe
decorations, with a little help from some elders, and did an amazingly good job. Hanging
amongst these streamers were many colored paper parrots with flapping wings, made by Uttama,
making the temple sky inside the temple room come alive with vibrant movement. Udara, Dina
and Yamuna worked on the altars, doing background service. Beautiful Bhava and dad Ghosh
Thakur drove up from Vancouver to attend, as did Nimesh, Luiza and Lila. Tomorrow
Mahasringa will drive down from Logan Lake to attend as well.

Kar and Radha do so many things to serve devotees here that it is near impossible to list
them. Rasamrita and Shyam Kishore are falling into place with a similar serving mood, making
the atmosphere charged with good will, sharing and open hearts. Yadubara and Rasaraja set up
the sound system, quietly rendering service to all. Kulasekhara das, for the last three weeks,
stained the entire outside of the temple building to make it look fresh and new. Off for now.
Sweet Krishna dreams to you all. Your festival scribe and servant, Yamuna.

The Milkmaids: Yamuna was always creating fresh new ways to serve the Lord. Our
Saranagati Parrot Festival was the highlight. It was a very special event that united the
community and melted our hearts in love for Krishna and for each other. It is deeply embedded in
my heart and shall never be forgotten.

The following day, Yamuna sent a report on the festival to devotees worldwide:

Dear Devotees, Pranam Dandavats; Sri Sri Guru Gauranga Jayate! I wanted to send off a
last scribe missive, mostly directed to those of you who live here in Saranagati who could not be
present yesterday and asked to be kept in the loop. This Festival of Saranagati is a little unique, as
it is not so much an “attend a seminar, attend a lecture or workshop, network out cum kirtan
event,” but more a devotee “happening” to glorify Srila Prabhupada’s stress on executing direct
devotional service. Its purpose was to gather together to directly glorify the archa vigraha we
individually but collectively worship here. The intent is to strengthen our devotional commitment
to serving these vigraha, to soften our hearts in sanga by engaging the community in direct
devotional service; and to relish joy, connection, strength and appreciation for each other. And
this all happened, with an intensity as glorious as the participants who took part in this process.
Here are some glimpses into what made the event memorable.

Dina and I arrived to establish Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari on Their altar space at 7:00 AM.
It was still dark outside, the nearly full moon just setting behind the western mountain ridge; clear
sky and not so cold. The altar and temple room were aglow with soft candlelight. Magical.

All on time, each valley resident arrived between 7:30 and 8:10 AM to establish Their
Deities on the previously decorated three altars, With each new arrival, the altars became more
resplendent, each effulgent Deity dazzling with Their special mercy and potency. Even visiting
Mayapur resident Madan Mohan, familiar with the grandeur of Mayapur events, said he had
never experienced the majesty of so many Deities present at one time. Each of the forty-three
archa vigraha present was dressed in new clothes with a parrot theme. This sight is simply
indescribable. After a group recitation of the Om ajnana prayers, the event began with Mahidhar
leading the guru puja prayer and Kulasekhara performing arati.
 At 9:00 AM, the first group presentation on the nine processes began:
Sravanam—Hearing. Partha das led off with a slide show of Srila Prabhupada and book quotes
on the glories of hearing. Then team members Uttama, Rasaraja and Dadhiharta, with Partha
behind a screen directing the parrot in various ways, performed a fine costumed play. The theme
was about how Suka the parrot heard Srimad-Bhagavatam and became Sukadeva Goswami—all
colorfully illustrating the glories and potency of hearing. A superexcellent presentation.

At 9:30 AM, the second group presentation began: Kirtanam—Chanting. The youngest
group member, Jayanti, age 10, played harmonium and led her first ever temple kirtan, along with
kartals and drum back-up from mom Narayani and dad Sthanur—sweet, sincere and beautiful.

Then Trilokanath read illuminating quotes from shastra on the glories of hearing. The
presentation ended with Mahojvala and Ashcroft devotees chanting a sweet guitar Hare Krishna
kirtan with Srila Prabhupada’s 1966 Hare Krishna tune—sweet and superexcellent.

At 10:00 AM, the third group presentation: Smaranam—Remembering. Girija, Kalindi,

Gopal and Bhava took us on a journey of spiritual charades by giving different groups of
devotees papers to remember and act out pastime stories. Two groups tied as winners, and as a
winning prize, each got half of one of Girija’s famously-delicious baked pumpkin pies. An
engaging and very much enjoyed experience in using memory in the service of the Lord.

At 10:30 AM, the group four presentation on Pada Sevanam—Serving the Lotus Feet of
the Lord. This was a family presentation headed up by parents Jaisaci and Devahuti, along with
their eldest daughter, Vana, twins Giri and Shyama, and daughter Ani. First, Jai explained that
this aspect of devotion covers much ground and, to illustrate some of its depth, took us all on a
journey to relish it. Tulasi devi was placed before the Deities, and Deva laid down colorful
footprints of Vrindavan residents to indicate we should go on our journey, first to
circumambulate Tulasi, and then elsewhere. So each devotee group was read a nice pastime, and
we began our journey getting holy water sprinkled on our heads and watering Srimati Tulasi devi.

Next the footprints directed us to their twin gopi and gopa daughter and son, who offered
us tulasi leaves and freshly ground chandan to offer to any Deity on the altar. Then the footprints
directed us to the Deity altars. On the other side of the temple room, ten-year-old Vana led a most
wonderful kirtan, accompanied by the elder Milkmaids. This quality presentation was yet another
superexcellent devotional experience.

At 11:00 AM, the final group presentation of the morning—Archanam or Deity worship.
Harilila, Dinatarini and Yamuna explained a bit about the history of Deity worship standards over
the years, the glories of devotees’ personal relationships with the archa vigraha, and easy
methods of atonement for any offenses in executing Deity worship. Then all of the Deities
present were introduced to the assembly, representing an astounding three hundred and
twenty-four years of Deity service! It ended with a skit about the appearance of the Radha-Raman
Deity to Gopal Bhatta Goswami. Our resident teenager, Radha Raman das, assumed the role of
the Radha-Raman Deity, and when Dina went to worship Gopal Bhatta’s shilas, there stood
Radha Raman, saying with great feeling, “I am Radha-Raman, and I have come because you
asked Me to.” This warmed all of our hearts.

Yamuna and Dinatarini presenting Archanam

What followed was a most enlivening raj bhoga kirtan experience led by Yadubara das,
inspired by a chanting style he relished on a recent trip to Hungary. He divided voices into two
melodies of Hare Krishna, and then the devotees simultaneously recited the names of the Deities
present. This was yet another high point in an already high series of experiences. This went on
both before and through the raj bhoga arati.

Lunch prasadam followed—the menu elegant in its simplicity—nutritious, satisfying, and

nicely served, with an efficient clean-up crew experience:

Carrot Rice prepared by Damodar Priya

 Whole Mung Dal Makrani prepared by Rasamrita and Radhakunda

Savory Corn Bread prepared by Udarakirti

Organic Gujarati-Style Corn with Coconut prepared by Visakha and Yadubara

Vegetable Kadhi and Jam Rolls prepared by Karunamayi

At 1:30 PM, the afternoon presentations resumed with group six: Vandanam—Prayers.
Here Udarakirti, Rasa, Kava and Narangi placed about sixteen different instances of famous
prayers, and engaged devotees in matching the speaker with the prayer. In this case, it was men
against women present. The women won by one prayer; close, thought provoking and devotional.

At 2:00 PM, the group seven presentation on Dasyam—Service. First presenter, Sanat
Kumar, read from a series of beautiful quotes from Nectar of Devotion on the subject. Next,
Sridham lead us chanting the prayer Sarvasva tomar from the Saranagati by Thakur
Bhaktivinoda, reading the translation aloud in English. Finally the group led a wonderful kirtan,
with Sridham playing harmonium, Chaya playing drum, and five-year-old Lala on kartals;
heart-warming and enlivening.

At 2:30 PM, group eight presented the aspect Sakyam—To become friends with the Lord.
Yadubara, Visakha, Haripriya and Shyam Kishore presented the story of Sudhama Brahmana in
play form. Shyam was the narrator of the story, Yadubara was Sudhama Brahmana, Visakha was
the wife and Rukmini, and Haripriya was Krishna. This brought tears to the eyes of some;
another superexcellent presentation.

At 3:00 PM, the last group presentation of Atma Nivedanam—Full Surrender. Kartamasa,
Radhakunda, Shyam Kishore, Rasamrita, Nimesh and Mahasringa—this powerful group covered
much ground in a short time. It began with a duet by Kartamasa and Radhakunda singing a
childhood prayer about Ambarish Maharaja—Kar on harmonium, Shyam Kishore on sarod,
Nimesh on drum and Mahasringa on guitar. Next was a group chanting of the Atma Nivedanam
prayer from Saranagati to sooth the soul. Mahasringa sang a soulful rendition in English of
Bhaktivinoda’s prayer, Manasa Deho Geho. With Shyam Kishore leading us off on voice and
concert-quality sarod playing, the whole group led various verses of the Damodarastakam verses.
All present were now able to offer a candle in a glass container to each of the Deities present on
this sacred occasion. The three altars were aglow with soft candlelight.

After the Damodarastaka prayer, this group continued leading, then handed the
microphone to others in the room to lead a round-robin-style kirtan that went on for a good half
hour more.

This final presentation was stunning in potency, devotion, expertise, sentiment and
presence—like a cluster of tulasi leaves resting atop of a tray of eight-layered sandesh of
excellent quality.

At 4:30 PM, Banabehari’s Milkmaids, so treasured by valley residents here, led one of
their famous five-voice arati kirtans. The devotion and pure clarity of their chanting is stunning.
Guests always comment on their expertise, but it is their purity that shines through most.

At 5:00 PM, Dinner prasadam was served, with another memorable menu:

Creamy Squash Bisque with Vegetables prepared by Yamuna

Fall Harvest Soup prepared by Mahojvala and Narayani devis

Herbed Foccacia prepared by Girija devi

Organic Leafy Green Salad Mix and Trimmings prepared by Devahuti

Caramelized Rich Rice Khir prepared by Rasaraja das

Between 6 PM and 7 PM, devotees spoke something about the experience, and what it
meant to them. Each was brief—barely a minute long—but so full of richness.

Saranagati kirtan sessions start soon. This took longer than I expected. It is not nicely
edited, but you get the drift. Neither does it do justice to the event, and is limited in information
and with likely mistakes. Please forgive that. Wishing you well wherever you may be. Treasure
you all; Your departing scribe servant, Yamuna devi. (EMAIL TO FRIENDS, OCT. 25, 2010)

In an after-event email to the teachers and students of Govardhan Academy, Yamuna was
effusive in her glorification of their qualities:

An Open letter of Appreciation to Govardhan Academy:

Headmaster Kartamasa, Headmistress Radhakunda, Kinder-garten mistress Rasamrita and

Every Student at the Govardhan Academy,

Hare Krishna. Sri Sri Krishna-Balarama ki jaya! The first words of Appreciation and
Gratitude go to you, the Academy teachers—Kar, Radha and Rasamrita—for all that you do to
make Govardhan Academy the glorious thing it is. Your wisdom is a gift; your dedication is a
gift; your application of both—a gift. As teachers, you are setting the standard for all of ISKCON
to follow—to put Krishna in the center, teach students how to be genuine devotees, teach students
to love what they do for Krishna, and do what they love for Krishna, to be happy and help others.
We in Saranagati are all deeply grateful for you three, doing all that you do at the Academy.

The next round of Appreciation and Gratitude goes to the seniormost students,
Banabehari’s Milkmaids. You five are treasures in this community. As we watch you mature
from mid to late teens, and into young adult years, there is an increasing sense of joy in your
company. You are learning to work for Krishna in wonderfully creative ways, of course, but also
you are more and more assuming big and responsible services to render to Krishna. In other
words, you are being trained to be preachers and teachers and leaders yourselves in future years.
This would please Srila Prabhupada so much. We treasure your devotional creepers and your
example like anything.

Sridham das and Radha Raman das, you are both maturing so well at the school.
Growing, speaking and realizing with increasing depth and sincerity. Everyone in the community
appreciates you like anything.

To every other student—Chaya, Narangi, Jayanti, Vanamali, and little one, Lala—we
shower you with encouragement and appreciation. You are increasingly becoming more expert in
learning devotional arts, learning how to focus on service to Krishna, and doing it very, very
well. How wonderful! Lots and lots of appreciation to you all. What to speak of [twins] Giri and
Shyama; how bright your future is at the Academy. You were so good at the festival handing out
tulasi leaves and chandan paste to offer the Deities. Really wonderful.

All this is to Thank You on behalf of the whole community for the contribution that all of
you at Govardhan Academy made to the themed parrot festival this year—your giant blue banner
marking the event, all the parrots you made, the decorations, the serving and cleanup, and your
participation in group presentations on the nine processes of devotional service. All these things
made the parrot festival as wonderful as it was.

Last of all: Realize that these teachers are a special gift from Krishna to you, for they are
so much more than teachers, but truly your life role models of ideal devotees and special human
beings. You students are immensely fortunate to have the company of such elders. Every minute
you have their company, please explore more and more gratitude for this opportunity. Thank you,
teachers. Hari Haribol, Lots of love, Your well-wishing aunties and friends, Dina and Yamuna.
(EMAIL TO GOVARDHAN ACADEMY, OCT. 26, 2010)

Kanai Priya das: Hare Krishna Mataji, Please accept my most respectful obeisances unto
your lotus feet. All glories to Srila Prabhupada. All glories to the Saranagati devotee community.
What a stunning and heart-melting description of one of the most extraordinary festivals! Never
heard about such kind of festival! Most unique presentation about the ninefold [processes] of
devotional service. We are relishing your newsletter. It’s so wonderful to hear about this festival.
While reading your wonderful newsletter, I was transported to the festival and visualized the
whole festival. Very grateful for sending astounding news about this remarkable festival.
Longing to unite with the amazing devotees of Saranagati next spring, hopefully, and to learn
from them various aspects of devotional service—to serve them and beg for their mercy!
(EMAIL TO YAMUNA, OCT. 27, 2010)
 The organizational efforts Yamuna expended on the Saranagati parrot festival, and her
outpourings of respect and gratitude for even the slightest contributions of the devotees, as shown
in her own descriptions, speak volumes about Yamuna’s devotional qualities. As many devotees
have testified, she glorified and magnified the devotional endeavors of others with genuine and
heartfelt gratitude, seeing their efforts, great or small, as Srila Prabhupada’s all-embracing mercy.
This quality seemed to expand over the years to encompass nearly everyone she met. “Thank you
for your sincere service to Srila Prabhupada” or “This is the best [program, prasadam, temple,
etc.] I have ever seen” were spontaneous greetings to others, and not only did she express these
sentiments with genuine sincerity, but they were felt as such by those receiving them.

Unfortunately, the Saranagati festival took a toll on Yamuna’s rapidly failing health.
While she soldiered on through much of the twelve hour program, late in the day she whispered
to me, “Take me home; I can’t stay anymore.”

“I Don’t Want to be a Burden to Anyone”

It is not necessary to detail the litany of physical problems Yamuna was facing by the fall
of 2010. While she remained equipoised and adamant in refusing my requests to travel to
Bhaktivedanta Hospital, I became increasingly alarmed by her deteriorating condition. The most
immediate concern to me was her sleep apnea, which caused me to lie awake in my room at night
listening as she struggled to breathe. And, just as she had noted in Srila Prabhupada before her,
the swelling in her legs and feet now made walking difficult.

By the time a Saranagati resident had organized a large festival that fall, attended by
Radhanath Swami and many young kirtaniyas, such as As Kindred Spirits and the Mayapuris,
Yamuna found walking across a room a challenge, what to speak of attending outside programs.
Yet somehow, through no effort of our own, many festival attendees found their way to
Banabehari Mandir for Yamuna’s association; and stoically pushing on, she welcomed everyone
with her usual warmth and graciousness. Mangal aratis, though scheduled to take place
elsewhere, were attended by at least fifty enthusiastic guests at Banabehari Mandir. We held
wonderful kirtans and poignant discussions with the visiting and resident Saranagati youth, and
especially shared the rare and coveted association of Radhanath Swami. Perhaps Krishna, in His
infinite kindness, knowing Yamuna’s physical limitations, brought the festival to her. She tried
valiantly to hide her infirmity, but by this time, I was determined to somehow get her to the
devotee physicians at Bhaktivedanta Hospital. Still, despite everything, Yamuna was reaching
out, teaching and caring for others:

[I’m] going through some old-age purification…. Symptoms that could never be pondered
before a week ago. Though will not attend kirtan, will listen to it. Jaya jaya Giri Govardhan! Jaya
jaya Thakur Bhaktivinoda! Jaya jaya Srila Prabhupada! We are so, so, so fortunate!

—EMAIL TO KARTAMASA, NOV. 8, 2010

I just wanted to touch base with a heartfelt Haribol to you all. This last physical thing is
fresh and challenging. Dina is doing some amazing caregiving, and I am learning how to tolerate
ever new tests sent by the Lord. I felt so excited to hear what you have been doing with the
students, bringing them on a journey of discovery to Govardhan. I wanted to jump in and
introduce the children to many artful forms of sweets traditionally offered at this time—take the
traditional and bring it into art just for your Govardhan celebration. The truth is I do not know if I
can do any of it. Day by day, no steady progress of getting better. Going up and down, side to
side, and new vistas of physical strangeness. But the plan was for me to make two foundation
sweets—rasgulla balls and chum chum almond-base shapes—then split each in half and turn
these into a variety of artistic and creative double-layered sweets. Flavored toppings could be:
brownish (carob) sandesh; sandy-hued ginger sandesh; pale and rich rose-hued rose sandesh;
pale lemon-hued lemon sandesh; pale orange-hued orange sandesh; or pale green mint sandesh.
Or if you have favorite flavors of burfi to use as toppings: almond, nut, etc. I think the children
would love to do this; it surely would be a first experience for many in the school, what to speak
of the potency of doing this as an offering for such a transcendental meditation. Still, right now it
is very iffy that I will be up to it. If I cannot do this, Dina says she will do her best to engage
them in making sandesh, if that is the direction you wish to go…. So know I am there with you in
spirit all week, and I will do my best to attend. Wished to connect with you and express my
appreciation for all that you are doing.

—EMAIL TO KARTAMASA AND RADHAKUNDA, NOV. 14, 2010

 Chant chant chant chant the Holy Name.

All will be revealed; year by year; month by month; day by day; lava by lava.

There is no end to the glories of all forms of chanting the Holy Name.

We are packed up together chanting the Holy Name.

We are receiving mercy from previous travelers who have taken the shelter of the Holy
Name.

All glories to the Holy Name!

Your out-of-breath at the moment, but long-term relisher and servant of chanting the Holy
Name,

Harer namer eva kevalam

—EMAIL TO KARTAMASA AND RADHAKUNDA, DEC. 2, 2010

I believe that Yamuna would not have finally agreed to my appeals that she receive
treatment at the Bhaktivedanta Hospital had she not seen my increasing anxiety and consequent
faltering health due to lack of sleep and other factors. In her humility she repeatedly said, “I don’t
want to be a burden on anyone; and especially I don’t want to be a burden on you.” Although I
repeatedly reassured her (I had been the health “burden” for years in the late 70’s and early 80’s
when she unfailingly and lovingly cared for me), she never wanted to accept service from
anyone—even me. It was simply anathema to her.

Through the kind intervention of Malati devi, funds were raised to get Yamuna to
Mumbai in relative comfort. As I had to remain behind for some time to deal with financial
commitments, make Deity arrangements and winterproof and close the ashram, Yamuna assured
me that because devotees would meet her at each stop, she would be fine traveling on her own.
Unfortunately, when she arrived in Mumbai, somehow a mix-up in arrival times meant that no
one was there to meet her; so she hired a taxi and showed up at the Bhaktivedanta Hospital, much
to the horrified shock of the staff, who by then were frantically searching high and low for her.
Later, Dwarakadish das, the Chief Physician at Bhaktivedanta Hospital, told me that her
condition was so poor, he did not know if they could do anything for her; but I felt like I could
exhale again, because now she was in the care of dedicated and respectful devotee doctors and
hospital staff who would reach beyond all personal and medical boundaries to assist her.

Dear Srila Prabhupada, I pray that one day in the future I may see you face to face again.
This vision may be many lifetimes in front of me, but I do not see any other goal worth
achieving, however slow or difficult, or impossible this task may seem from my fallen position.
There is nothing else more appealing. Please bless me with the perseverance to continue on the
path to meet you.
 CHAPTER 14

Miracle Done- Your Divine and Loving Grace

2011- YAMUNA’S FINAL YEAR

 As far as the soul is concerned, there is neither birth nor death. Birth and death apply to
one’s embodiment in the material world. Fearfulness results from worrying over the future. A
person in Krishna Consciousness has no fear because his activities assure him of going to the
spiritual sky, back to Godhead. When one has no knowledge of the next life, then he is in anxiety.
Fearfulness is due to one’s absorption in illusory energy, but when one is free from illusory
energy and certain that he is not the material body, then he has nothing to fear. Therefore, if one
is always situated in Krishna Consciousness, he does not fear, for his future is very bright.

—BHAGAVAD-GITA 10.45 PURPORT

To understand Krishna is not so easy, but Krishna Himself is giving Himself: “Take Me.”
That is Chaitanya Mahaprabhu. So future, past, present, future, whatever it has been, our past, or
what is present, it doesn’t matter. But if you take to [this] Krishna Consciousness Movement,
then our present and future, both are bright, undoubtedly.

—SRIMAD-BHAGAVATAM LECTURE, JUNE 13, 1976

DURING THE LAST years of Yamuna’s life, many of her friends became dismayed by
her frequent pronouncements of her willingness—even happiness—to “go” whenever Krishna
wanted to take her. In fact, I cannot remember a time when she did not feel this way, and we
often spoke of the “bright future” Srila Prabhupada eloquently promised for those who endeavor
to advance in devotional practice. In looking back on Yamuna’s last year, I have come to the firm
conclusion that much of the caregiving, doctors’ visits, consultations and other healing modalities
were opportunities to share her sweet and profoundly Krishna Conscious sanga with many
others. Shortly after her arrival at Bhaktivedanta Hospital in Mumbai, she wrote to me:

As you know, I am ready for the next life—the next “adventure” in my devotional
journey. I always thought I would live out my days at Saranagati [Village], but who knows what
is Krishna’s plan? What I do know is that even though I am low, fallen, and have no devotion, I
have tried my best to become the servant of the servant, despite so many failings. Prabhupada
personally told me that my future is bright, and I have full confidence in his words.

—EMAIL TO DINATARINI, DEC. 28, 2010

Giriraja Swami: She said a few times that she was ready to go—that she felt she had
done what she was meant to do in this life, or what she could do, and she was ready to go. She
had no fear, and no regrets. Personally, I questioned her conclusion about her service, and I
suggested, “Well, you may have something left to do in terms of service to Srila Prabhupada.” I
was thinking of her writing, that she should write about her experiences with and realizations
about Srila Prabhupada. But she said, “No, I have thought about it, and there’s nothing really that
I have to stay to do. If there is anything—if I am given more time—it is to try to help the women
in the Movement.” And she added, “I don’t think that you, as a sannyasi, can understand what the
women in the Movement experience. But if Krishna does give me some more time, I would like
to do something for the women, to support the women, to give a strong voice to the women.”
 Bhaktivedanta Hospital — “A Humbling Experience”

Now that Yamuna was under the care of the devotee physicians at Bhaktivedanta
Hospital, I knew that she was in good hands, and that, under the direct and careful supervision of
Radhanath Swami, they would metaphorically “move heaven and earth” to assist her and make
her comfortable. My energies were then directed toward taking care of our necessary
commitments in Canada and the US, and then traveling to Mumbai as soon as possible. Not only
did I have to winter-proof and close the Saranagati ashram, but my elderly mother in Florida had
broken her hip, and I had to go there to oversee her treatment and ensure that she was taken care
of. It would be almost six long weeks before I arrived in Mumbai to join Yamuna.

Dr. Dwarakadish das: [In] the month of December, early in the morning, around 6:30,
we were called to the hospital for Yamuna devi’s arrival…. But her flight was supposed to reach
the airport at 5:30, and it arrived at 5:00, and she walked out of the waiting lobby having nobody
there to receive her. She had already had an extremely difficult journey from Canada, America,
and then Singapore. And she was in a very bad state; she was not able to breathe, and not able to
walk. So she just came out of the airport and started loudly singing the Govindam prayers,
helplessly calling out to Krishna. And some taxi driver came up and said, “Bhaktivedanta
Hospital?” This must be Paramatma. She just said, “Yes.” And she jumped into his taxi, and the
taxi brought her to Bhaktivedanta Hospital. When she first came her blood pressure was 190 over
130. When I saw her for the first time … her lungs were choked up, she was in cardiac failure,
she was bloated up with fluid, all of the body was swollen, and oxygen levels in the body were
low. And everything was in disarray. We put her in the ICU, and we tried to help her. And
through all these difficulties, what comes up most prominent was that she was always very, very
warm and affectionate, even when she was going through so much.

Dr. Sonal: She came in an emergency situation, and we were informed that she had
arrived. When she came she was not in a position even to stand, and when she was being given a
bath she asked someone to bring a mirror. When she saw that there was no tilak on her body, she
said, “Oh what’s this? I feel naked when there is no tilak on my body.” We understood that she
really feels her body is a temple—the abode of Krishna.
Despite the gravity of her condition, within days of her arrival, Yamuna was writing
glowing reports of the hospital and its staff to young friends, while at the same time lamenting to
me how uncomfortable she felt by the many services being accorded her—something she resisted
whenever possible:

It is totally impossible to glorify this place enough. It pulses with life and soul, generating
Krishna Consciousness as a full-throttle temple does, yet serving as a full-scale hospital. Spiritual
sounds vibrate externally, and Krishna Consciousness flows internally from the saintly persons
who serve here. The cleanliness standard could be studied by pujaris. The rolling Jagannatha
altar visits every room every day, and they distribute prasadam. The spiritual care staff members
have related scores of stories of mystical Krishna Magic in the hearts of [all—from] the most
jaded to the most innocent. Yes, on this planet—maybe this universe; this is a most special place.

—EMAIL TO KARTAMASA AND RADHAKUNDA, DEC. 20, 2010

 Dear Yamuna, Thank you for your thorough update on your health and the care you are
receiving there. It has, of course, been a huge worry for us, but we never voiced it because our
concerns are so insignificant compared to the tribulations you and Dina have been going through.
Now, however, we are immensely grateful that Bhaktivedanta Hospital exists, and you are getting
such good care. It is almost unbelievable that such a place exists in Kali Yuga on this planet. Our
debt and gratitude also go to the devotees that are facilitating you, and we hope one day we can
get a fraction of such a service attitude and somehow a tiny grasp on what it means to be
dedicated. If there is anything we can do to be part of the glorious team, please let us know.

—EMAIL FROM KARTAMASA AND RADHAKUNDA, DEC. 20, 2010

The [level of] care and attention is too, too much. If I was not in such a sorry state
healthwise, I couldn’t do it. They are so dedicated and devotional that they leave me feeling
unworthy, but deeply grateful—I should be serving them. And, of course, saintly Radhanath
Swami has instructed them to do everything to facilitate my care. Too embarrassing! Your
wobbly Yam.

—EMAIL TO DINATARINI, JAN. 1, 2011

Radhanath Swami: [Yamuna] would call me regularly [from the hospital] and say, “I am
leaving this place.” She was still in critical condition. I said, “Why are you leaving this place?”
She said “Because too many people are serving me. I don’t like to be served. I like to do things
myself.” “But if you leave you will die.” “Better to die than to accept so much service.” This was
her nature. I said, “Don’t you understand? Please understand. They see Srila Prabhupada in you,
more than they have ever seen him before in anyone. By your accepting their service, you are
connecting them with Srila Prabhupada. You are doing the greatest service to them.” She said,
“Really?” I said, “Definitely. You can ask anyone.” So she said, “All right then, then to serve
them, I will stay.”

Niranjana Swami: I came in the room to talk to her. And she said, “I don’t like people
serving me like this. I am just an ordinary person.” I talked to her for some time, and then
Radhanath Maharaja came into the room to speak to her and see how she was doing. And as soon
as Radhanath Maharaja got into the room, she said, “Maharaja, please, can we do something
about all this service? Look at all the things people are bringing me—all the foods people are
cooking for me. I am not used to this. I am just a simple devotee. Can we change? Otherwise I
feel like I am going to have to leave under these circumstances.” That was Yamuna. It was not
pretentious at all…. If you talk to anyone who knows Yamuna, that is what they will say. That
was her nature.

Dr. Dwarakadish das: It was a difficult case, and under Radhanath Maharaja’s
instruction and consultation with the devotees, we took her to all the best doctors in
Mumbai—the best cardiologists, the best nephrologists. So we did basically what was best, and
we put all of this data together, and we were successful. In three and a half months, we could get
her moving, and she was much better; her breathing was completely controlled. She lost about 12
to 15 kilos of fluid from her body. About thirty pounds of weight was lost. It was very useful. So
we were happy that in the female body, we had probably the most important guest in our hospital
in so many years to serve. All of us were very, very happy to get her affection.

Yamuna: Radhanath Swami came this morning, and said he is pushing the Bhaktivedanta
Hospital doctors like anything to do everything possible in my care—to take any and all tests
recommended by this man we saw yesterday. I cannot fathom this care any more than I can
fathom why we must leave Saranagati, but it is happening. It is all a form of mercy quite
inconceivable. Hopefully it will help me to be more human, and help me to give to others more
deeply. (HEALTH UPDATE TO DEVOTEES)

So Many Well-Wishers

Knowing the numbers of well-wishers who sought Yamuna’s association when she
traveled, especially in India, my primary concern was that Yamuna would not have the necessary
rest and privacy needed for recovery at the Bhaktivedanta Hospital. Although I was assured by
Radhanath Swami and others that arrangements would be made to ensure this, I contacted a few
senior Godsisters and requested them to go there and assist Yamuna until I arrived.
Unfortunately, none were able to get away at the time. Of course, my legitimate concern was
founded on years of observing Yamuna’s empathic, gracious and giving nature. I knew beyond a
doubt that she would welcome, encourage and share Krishna Consciousness with whoever
approached her, regardless of the impact on her health.

Radhanath Swami, along with the doctors and staff at the hospital, tried valiantly to limit
access to Yamuna. At significant expense, they refurbished a room on the fifth floor, added
handicap amenities, a Western toilet, air conditioning—even a small refrigerator—and Yamuna
was very happy with the room and filled with gratitude. Dr. Dwarakadish put an official-looking
sign on the door which said something like “Yamuna Mataji is very ill and is not receiving guests
as this time.” Shortly after the sign was affixed to the door, Yamuna wrote to me:
 I have spoken to everyone regarding your worries about too many visitors, and Doctorji
did put a sign on the door that I’m not receiving visitors (unless Radhanath Swami, Krishna
Chandra Prabhu and family, and other close friends). But there is something mystical about that
sign, because although it looks like it says “Yamuna Mataji is not receiving visitors,” what it
really says is “Knock as loudly as you can, and then just come in!”—a real mystery. I don’t want
to worry you, but am counting the days until you come.

—EMAIL TO DINATARINI, JAN. 8, 2011

Before I arrived, five ladies were cooking Yamuna’s meals on a rotation

basis—something she was careful not to reveal to me. Yamuna developed a motherly affection
for each of these kind-hearted devotees, but it meant that while they tried to accommodate her
dietary needs, the diet was necessarily inconsistent. “Too many cooks and too much service,” she
wrote.

It’s 8 AM, and I was just about to respect breakfast. Sukishori, my breakfast server, is just
starting to read Bhagavad-gita out loud. Someone silently enters my room, goes to my bed and
starts to make some noise. I turn around and see the back of a man in a turban and say, “Oh, no,
baba. Don’t touch, don’t touch!” And who turns around but Pooja Anand devi, my Sunday meal
server, dressed in a dhoti, with waist sash and half turban and a black moustache above the lips.
She dandavats, we laugh, and then she says, “I brought you something,” and hands me a big gift
bag. Inside is a basket arrangement of two dozen red and yellow roses, a bottle of Kumba Mela
water, a hand-painted bead bag, beautiful counter beads, a devotee 2011 desk calendar,
Jagannatha key chain, Radha and Krishna notepad and three DVDs which I am forwarding
swiftly back to Kar for you all to see at school—[they are] purportedly cutting-edge, animated,
pixel versions of many Krishna childhood pastimes; they have been shown on TV here in India
and are very popular. I am so blessed with a stream of devotee association here that boggles the
mind…. Here is a little prayer I am adding to mine this year and thought you might want to add it
to yours as well. “Dear Krishna and Radharani, please bestow Your mercy on me in whatever
way You see fit, and please give me the strength to take that mercy.”

—EMAIL TO KALINDI DEVI, JAN. 1, 2011

 Dina the Doorkeeper Finally Arrives

By the time I came to Mumbai later in January, Yamuna had established warm and
meaningful relationships with many of her doctors, caregivers and other staff members. Some of
them later revealed to me that they were not used to the open accessibility and motherly affection
Yamuna so freely embodied, or her unique sense of humor, especially her nicknames and
mimicry. The day after my arrival, Yamuna was scheduled to see a consultant in Mumbai. On all
of her frequent trips into the heart of the city, she used the same driver, who she called “Raja,
King of the Road.” I also went on many of these trips, especially for acupuncture treatment, and
noted how, in this short time, Yamuna had even become dear to him. She would speak to him
about Krishna, ask him to chant the Holy Name, tell him of the glories of Srila Prabhupada and,
of course, ask about his family and his life. The day I left to return to Canada, Raja took me to the
airport for an early flight, after which he would return to take Yamuna for her later one. As he
drove, I noticed tears flowing from his eyes. At one point, he turned to me and said, “In my life,
no one but Yamuna Mataji has gotten me to take the Holy Name. It is my greatest privilege to
drive her, and now I cannot say how much I will miss her.”

One day Yamuna watched a play online that Dr. Dwarakadish had a part in. Afterwards,
she revealed to him that she had not recognized him in the play. The play was about the tragic
murders of our Godsister Hladini devi and other devotees in Africa by a despotic guerrilla named
Johnson, and Dr. Dwarakadish humbly revealed that he had played this demonic character,
Johnson. Yamuna was amazed at his persuasive characterization because it was the antithesis of
him in life, and from that moment on, Yamuna affectionately called him Dr. Johnson.

Dr. Dwarakadish das: And then she came the next day and said, “Dr. Johnson! Dr.
Johnson!” And she initiated me to that name. Ever since then, she would see me and say, “This is
Dr. Johnson!” She was so excited that I could play a role like that—so cruel, so hateful, so
spiteful, so ugly. And that endeared us to each other in a more intimate manner.

Radhanath Swami: She called me on the phone after she had left Bhakti-vedanta
Hospital later. She was diagnosed with a very, very severe health problem with her heart, and
almost every other part of her body [was implicated]. And she was so eager to get the medical
advice of Dr. “Prince Johnson.” Somehow or other, the littlest thing, she would just relish so
much. Can you imagine? Dwarakadish Prabhu was her main doctor at Bhaktivedanta Hospital for
three months. And she just loved that hospital and loved the devotees. Whoever is connected to
Bhaktivedanta Hospital, you should know that you are infinitely, inconceivably and unlimitedly
blessed by Srila Prabhupada and Radha-Gopinatha through Yamuna devi’s heart. And when she
saw that drama, where her own personal, loving, caring doctor was playing the most ruthless,
demoniac and envious murderer of Vaishnavas…. For most people, that performance was really
mean. I hate to say it, but this Prince Johnson literally incarnated into Dwarakadish that night. It
didn’t look like he was acting; it looked like he was possessed—this demon. He was screaming,
and he was murdering Hladini and so many devotees—ruthless. And Yamuna loved it! I don’t
think she ever called him Dwarakadish again. Even when she was diagnosed with a very serious,
life-threatening heart problem, she called me and said, “I need to talk to Dr. Johnson.” She was
getting so many people’s opinions, but she trusted the love of a devotee more than anyone else.

Dr. Dwarakadish faithfully came each night to see Yamuna and take her blood pressure.
During these visits, along with updates on her health, Yamuna spoke about Srila Prabhupada and
Krishna Consciousness, complimented him on looking so neat and well-turned-out after at least
twelve hours at the hospital, and sometimes fretted over his workload.

Last night I was tired when my doctor came for his evening visit. He looked tired as well,
and I said, “Doctorji, are you resting enough? You look as if you are working too much.” He
replied, “No, no. What I do is not work; it is serving the Vaishnavas, and I never tire of it. It gives
me life, this service.” I replied, chastened, of course, “I am a mundane thinker and can only pray
to follow in your footsteps.”

—EMAIL TO KARTAMASA AND RADHAKUNDA, JAN. 7, 2011

Yamuna very much appreciated the visits of and interactions with the doctors and staff at
the hospital. She was also uplifted when friends came, like Mondakini devi from France, Nitai
das, Shyamasundara das, and especially the frequent visits of Radhanath Swami. (One staff
member approached me when I left the hospital and said that one of the reasons they would miss
Yamuna so much was that Radhanath Swami came to the hospital so much more when she was
there).

Dr. Dwarakadish das: A very beautiful thing that I witnessed was when Srila Radhanath
came to visit her in that room upstairs [on the] fifth floor. It was nice to see—beautiful to see, in
fact. When great souls meet—Radhanath Maharaja is a sannyasi; Yamuna Mataji is in a woman’s
body—to see a relationship between Godbrother and Godsister on a very, very exalted
platform—there was so much love, so much respect, so much intimacy—the exchange was so
pure. It was inspiring to see them interacting. Again and again Mataji would glorify Maharaja in
wonderful ways. She would always tell Maharaja as one who has “lotus-glow feet.”

Yamuna sometimes expressed exasperation that some of the devotees whose association
she most cherished did not often visit the hospital, to honor her need for rest and recuperation, yet
many others came who did not. She cited Krishna Chandra Prabhu and Radhapriya in this
regard—saying that while she was unfailingly enlivened by their genuine warmth and
unassuming association, they rarely visited. Later, Yamuna brought the matter up to them during
a visit, and Krishna Chandra Prabhu said, “We did not want to impose on you, to allow you to
recover.” This one statement says volumes about why they were so dear to Yamuna.

Sweet Radha (Krishna Chandra Prabhu’s daughter) comes often now. We discuss things
with ease. Her female demeanor is sober, like Dina’s—no frivolity and fluff with Radha. She is
intelligent, perceptive and intuitive. We have a half-hour kirtan, and often read from
Srimad-Bhagavatam or Nectar of Devotion. Yesterday she spoke of how she and Mukunda are
counselors to about thirty younger householders. The relationships range from functional to
excellent to disastrous, with everything else in between, and how it is handled or not handled.
You two would be so enlivened having the company of these two devotees [Radha and
Mukunda].

—EMAIL TO KARTAMASA AND RADHAKUNDA, DEC. 23, 2010

Radha devi: Everyone was so much in awe and reverence of her when she came to the
hospital—that she is the one who sang Govindam prayers, who cooked for Srila Prabhupada, who
helped start the ISKCON Movement. So they were paying obeisances to her—how they are with
Radhanath Maharaja, they were with her. She was saying to us, “I just don’t like them to serve
me so much. I just feel grateful they are doing so much, but why should they have so much awe
and reverence? Why should they waste their time serving someone like me? I’m just a nobody
trying to serve Prabhupada.” I was speechless when she would say things like that. But the more
she didn’t want us to feel awe and reverence, the more we did, because our respect for her was
just growing with every moment we spent together. She would thank everyone who did anything
for her—even the lift man; she would say “Thank you, Prabhuji!”

When I was alone with her, initially, I used to be quite quiet. So she very sweetly told me,
“You have not just come here to hear me talk; you’ve also come to share what you want to
speak.” She would always bring up very deep matters, but I would never know what she was
going to talk about, so I couldn’t prepare anything. She would always have this question, “What
do you foresee yourself doing for the Movement?” or “How have you changed, not from the
outside, but spiritually, from the inside?” or “What change came about after you met your
Spiritual Master?” I was quite frank with her; sometimes I would say that I needed time to think
deeply on it. Advanced devotees have realizations ready and waiting to discuss, but for us it may
take two or three days of thinking about something, and even then we may have nothing to
share—we have not really changed much internally, so there is not much to say. If there was no
answer, then she would also speak about how one should or can perceive these changes. Every
day I would come home and write down what we spoke about in a journal.
 Karuna Manjari devi (Anjali): I had just delivered Priya Sakhi; she was one month old,
so I couldn’t go and see her. But she told my sister that “I know Anjali is busy with her daughter,
but if she has a little time, I would really love to connect with her.” I just felt that somehow I
couldn’t be her friend; she was a senior Prabhupada disciple. I don’t know what I was thinking,
but I told her, “How can I be your friend? Better not to.” But when we started emailing, I am so
glad that I did. From the hospital she sent a package with some Johnson’s baby powder for my
daughter—lavender flavor. I said to her, “Mataji, you really didn’t have to; you are in the
hospital,” and she said, “I didn’t have anything to give, so that’s a little gift for Priya Sakhi.” It
was just so sweet, with my name written on it. We use a little of that powder every day. She said
that she had a picture of my mother and Priya Sakhi on her table, and she said, “I look at it a lot
and feel you are nearby.”

The first day I sat with Yamuna in her room, I was frankly amazed that despite the sign on
the door, rarely ten minutes passed between visiting groups of guests, cleaners, friends,
well-wishers, doctors or others, unknown to Yamuna, who wanted a baby blessed or other similar
requests. Further, the roster of ladies who cooked for her each day often stayed for long visits
afterward, and Yamuna would listen to their life journeys, empathize with them, and encourage
them in devotional service.

These ladies [who are cooking] are so sincere and young—with many troubles. It takes
fifteen minutes to eat the meal and three hours to talk afterward.

—EMAIL TO RASARAJA DAS, JAN. 19, 2011

What I had feared about Yamuna extending herself to others at the expense of her own
recuperation had in fact transpired during my absence. As this was inherently her nature, I knew
that she would neglect her own recovery needs—hence my concern. It was apparent that she was
not resting enough, and that the variegated diet was causing some difficulty. So after some
discussion, we instituted some changes. A few of the ladies were disciples of Giriraja Swami,
who had instructed them to assist Yamuna in her recovery. So Yamuna wrote to them of what
Srila Prabhupada had expected from her during her cooking service to him—that she prepare,
cook and offer his meals, but not stay while he honored them. We initially established a system
whereby they would leave the meals with Gaurangi devi. But despite the sincere efforts of the
lady cooks, Yamuna still suffered from indigestion. Finally, I purchased a rice cooker, and we
made simple, steamed meals in the room. Yamuna taught Gaurangi, a sweet, unassuming and
dedicated devotee, how to prepare dishes to supplement our one-pot meals, and Yamuna’s
digestive problems eased.
 Prema-manjari devi: At one point of her illness, she was very weak and could not even
see her servers, as the doctors had instructed her not to see anyone. So she wrote me an email and
requested me to follow her, as she was taking her role as a teacher to teach me service in
separation. She told me to bring only the baked sweet muffins and cookies, and to give them to
Gaurangi Mataji and leave without even seeing her.

Yamuna: You will have to be like the cook I was for Srila Prabhupada: bring the
prasadam for respecting and leave unspoken to. That was the norm unless there was some
instruction from him how to make adjustments in the cooking, or an occasional comment.
Giriraja Swami asked me to instruct you, so I am passing this on to you. It is a small aspect of a
classic teacher-apprentice mood—serve in silence unless spoken to. While I never took a teacher
mood with you, this is a rich rasa to explore on different levels. If you continue to bring baked
goods once or twice again, at least you will have access into experiencing the tip of the richness
of this kind of service. It is similar to what we do when we offer bhoga on the altar—pray, cook
in meditation, deliver, offer and depart—bas.

I believe you are sincere and mature enough to do this. It was expected of Srila
Prabhupada’s cooks as a prerequisite to cooking at all. Hopefully it will bring you to a new level
of service, something you can use in your service to your own Guru Maharaja.

Gaurangi Prema Puja devi: When Dina-tarini Mataji [became] sick, Yamuna Mataji
was also very sick, but she took full care for Dinatarini Mataji. She was telling me, “Don’t stand
here. You just go to Dinatarini, and whatever is required, you just give her.” She was giving
preference, that “Go and serve Dinatarini.” That gives bliss to her. So she was sending there, and
each and every thing—how to make milk, what to give, what not to give, what medicine, just to
call the doctor—she was taking so much care. At that time I realized, Yamuna Mataji was so
sick, and she was thinking so much about Dinatarini Mataji, showing how much we should be
thinking of others.
 Yamuna’s Health Prognosis — “She Cannot Return to
Saranagati Village”

As Yamuna’s treatment continued, it became clear to all of us that she could no longer
physically endure living at Saranagati Village, and if and when she was well enough to leave the
hospital, it would have to be where she would have access to health care and full-time electricity
for her sleep apnea machine. This was a hard pill to swallow for many of our friends in
Saranagati, especially the youth. On January 7, Yamuna wrote to Kartamasa and Radhakunda:

None of us knows what tomorrow will bring, what tests Krishna will send our way, what
circumstances we will find ourselves in, and with whose company. When we moved to
Saranagati, I foolishly thought that I will die there. We have moved so many times; let this be our
last move; let us settle in, chant more, serve Krishna, and serve the Vaishnavas. As Dina
mentioned, it has become clear to us that we can no longer live there. I am now a cardiac patient
and will have to use a machine to breathe at night for the rest of my life, and other problems they
are still working on…. It is also likely I will not be doctor-free for the rest of my life, so we must
transfer to the United States to get Medicare benefits.

One hard thing for me—yesterday I was told unequivocally by Radhanath Swami that I
cannot even return there to pack and move and have some closure time with you all. I have been
advised that the trip to Canada and then again cross-country would strain all systems so-called on
the mend. My request to you is to see that Dina has steady help packing up. When she comes here
we will go over items to keep and pack, items to sell, items to give to you, and items to give
away.
 We have collected so much; it will be a humongous job to pack up. Dina will say she does
not want help, but keep asking anyway. Hopefully Lilamrita and Udara will pitch in; they are the
behind-the-scene workers who usually volunteer to help out. Also have her for prasadam now
and then. We have no idea where we will end up yet. Whew! to so many possibilities, and peace
to what falls into place. Wish you could just pack it in and join us on our merry adventure, but
know you cannot. Once again we will have to live in separation from each other. Who knows?
Maybe one day we will be together again—if not here, then surely in a far better place. Hare
Krishna.

—EMAIL TO KARTAMASA AND RADHAKUNDA, JAN. 7, 2011

Yamuna tried to ease the impact on everyone with her combination of vivid humor and
empathy:

It’s sunrise, and a gigantic reddish-gold orb is slowly rising from the tops of new
buildings on Mira Road. Ever-present street sounds emerge upward out of the 7 AM traffic—the
policeman’s whistle, the putt putt of 2-stroke auto rickshaw engines, the revving of motor bikes,
the groans of lorries. The “Honk Please” edict is alive and well—beep beep beep, toot toot,
beeeeeeep; whistle, whistle, honnnk, toot, beep, rev rev, grind—assorted honk notes barking out
any given moment like a flock of geese on the run. Stiff brooms brush away dirt, moving piles of
rubble from one place to another, but debris is never removed. Where would it go other than to a
different pile somewhere in the city? But one must observe etiquette in such matters. The
morning air chokes the throat and burns the eyes—a typical Mumbai morning out my window.

Though I am here in hospital, my heart-of-hearts is there with you. I know the suddenness
of the move is hard to process for you, because it is for us too. Our life in Saranagati was
centered around having your company…. It’s hard to fathom the thought of not being with you
again this year—sharing kirtan, prayer, study and school together. But change-we-must has
arrived, largely because of my 2011 health report card. The fine soot from a wood stove is hard
on weak lungs, especially for eight months out of the year. Even with a good air purifier, it is
heavy in the air…. Also, we have insufficient electricity to run my breathing machine (which
must run all night); and I need to have doctor care. As we have no access to health care in
Canada, we need to plug into the US Medicare system. Plus the physical upkeep time Dina
engages in is increased without my hands to do their share, so we must move, and to move, we
must sell, and so it goes. We have no idea where we are going to shift to. So far a desirable
devotee enclave has not been revealed. Most places we would choose are too costly for our
limited funds, so we’re being patient and still praying for direction to inspire us to do the needful
to make the move.

—EMAIL TO KARTAMASA AND RADHAKUNDA, JAN. 9, 2011

Sometimes Yamuna would write of a poignant memory of special Saranagati moments or

a profound realization of Krishna Consciousness. In an email to the residents of Saranagati on
January 29, she wrote:

I pray you are all well. Thought to share something that recently came my way in the
form of reflections on The Quiet of Winter and Stillness of Snow. I clearly remember the silence
of winter in Saranagati—whether a blue-sky day or a day of falling snow. That outside stillness
often made me seek more inside stillness in the form of greater focus on the Holy Name. On the
evenings when we gathered together—either our small Caitanya-caritamrta group or the larger
Bhaktivinoda prayer-kirtan group—because of that outside quiet, I was more prone to the internal
cessation of mundane sound. On those bitter cold, white Saranagati January days and nights, I
came to relish more and more the gift we have been given access to: sharing the Holy Name and
shastra together, serving Krishna together, and the solace of generous and uncritical sanga
together…. Sometimes, in great stillness, we can sense this invisible accompanying presence, the
presence of Lord Krishna, with intensity. At such moments, a sense of new possibility is opened
for us—new faith and trust in the Lord blooms inside us. We aren’t just pulled along by a desire
for what is pleasant and pleasing to the ego or an aversion to pain and what is unpleasant. What is
it then? It is bhakti-yoga, realized through service to the Lord and to the devotees of the Lord.
From just simple faith in these things, we develop a love and ability to want to serve others. It is
characterized by clarity, and it can descend on us like a kind of grace and allow us to fulfill even
arduous obligations in a graceful, freely chosen kind of way.

—EMAIL TO SARANAGATI RESIDENTS, JAN. 29, 2011

Yamuna Leaves Bhaktivedanta Hospital after Three

Months — “No Words Can Express My Gratitude”

After three months of intensive treatment and recovery at Bhaktivedanta Hospital,

Yamuna, though weak and frail, was stable enough to return to the US. We had conceived a plan
whereby she would stay in Alachua, Florida, under the loving care of friends Nirmala, Devarshi,
Rangavati and Jitari and I would return to British Columbia, somehow pack our ashram, and then
drive our truck with our car hitched behind it and packed with the Deities, Their belongings and
our immediate necessities. We both left the hospital on March 14, 2011, Yamuna a fountain of
gratitude for the quality of attentive care and the devotee relationships forged and deepened, and
me with the same for bearing witness to it.

Some of my sweetest memories of those months were ones spent alone in our shared
room at the hospital. When lives and devotional service have been intimately connected for so
many years (37 in our case), each person distinctly knows how to honor, respect and share both
poignancy and laughter with the other. One of Yamuna’s many “talents” was her mimicry.
Sometimes I would sit in a chair reading, and she would spontaneously mimic with vivid imagery
something as silly as the “just now coming” promises of deliverymen, the Bollywood dance or
singing moves, or a droll representation of the karmic implications of material life. These
impressions were so “spot-on,” and the comic timing so perfect, that they never failed to leave
both of us in waves of laughter.

Because of my continued frustration that Dr. Dwarakadish’s sign as to Yamuna’s “not

receiving visitors” was having little palpable effect, he placed another large sign next to it which
simply said “DO NOT DISTURB.” This helped to some degree. Still, Yamuna and I would
“place bets” on guessing how long it would be until the next knock. The conversation would be
something like, “If you lose, you will go get ice cream; and if I lose, I will make you panir sak.”
These exchanges, as silly or mundane as they sound, helped to alleviate Yamuna’s cabin
fever—the fact that she could not leave unless it was a two-hour drive to another medical
appointment.

I do not have words to adequately express how appreciative and relieved I was by
Yamuna’s care at the Bhaktivedanta Hospital. To this day, I can instantly recall the concerned
and empathic faces of the staff and devotee well-wishers and their determination to help Yamuna
at any cost. As Yamuna did, I also feel honored to have known them and to have seen their
dedication as servants of the servants of the servants. Despite her continuing frailty and grave
overall prognosis, the devoted doctors and staff had done wonders for Yamuna’s health, giving
her many more months of powerful sanga and kirtan with grateful devotees, many more months
of immersion in Srila Prabhupada’s books and instructions and, ultimately, an auspicious and
peaceful passing on to “His Divine and Loving Grace.”

I could never have imagined spending three months in hospital when I arrived. I owe my
life to you for allowing me to stay here, to the doctors who have engaged in my care, and the
prayers of the devotees regarding my care. I have learned so much from all the quality bhakti I
have seen at this hospital. I made a list of the devotees I am indebted to in this way, and quickly
the list grew to over fifty, such is this wonderful place. I am indebted to you beyond words. I pray
eternally for your friendship and sanga.

—EMAIL TO RADHANATH SWAMI, MAR. 17, 2011

 Dr. Dwarakadish das: The last day she was there with us … was very, very special. We
arranged a long table, and all the devotees who were her servants at that time all sat around that
table. The table was beautifully decorated…. As each and every servant was entering the
auditorium where Yamuna was already seated, [Dinatarini] would garland them with a ribbon
and a nice rose. And we all felt, “Oh, this is very special.” I didn’t know what to expect. And as
we all sat around this beautifully decorated table, she asked Rupa Manjari to start singing one
particular tune of the mahamantra, and then each and every devotee sang the same tune, one after
another—it went on for a long time. And everyone was looking at Yamuna devi at that time,
because her eyes were completely closed, and she was deeply absorbed in chanting the Holy
Name of the Lord…. And through that chanting she was expressing a lot of love for us, and a
[grateful] feeling for all of us who had served her, and we were feeling gratitude for having been
able to serve her. So it was a reciprocation of a lot of love. And then she was so kind; she made
gifts for all of us. She made paper bags, and she had different gifts for all of us…. And her own
handwriting was very beautiful, just like her singing…. I was very eager to know what was in my
own bag because I knew it would be very special, and it was a beautiful picture of Prabhupada
smiling. And that gave me such deep satisfaction because I knew that in serving her, Prabhupada
was happy with me.

Krishna Chandra das: On December 11, 2011, which is about five or six days before
she left this planet, was the one year anniversary of her arrival in Bhaktivedanta Hospital. Now I
don’t think that any of us remembered, but she took it so—she was so grateful for this. Even
though everyone in the hospital considered it the greatest honor—that she came and gave the
opportunity to serve her—but she remembered and wrote such a beautiful letter to several doctors
who are also here, saying that “Today is my first anniversary when I came there,” and detailing
how much benefit she received from the hospital. So that was her mood—anything that anyone
did for her, the smallest thing, she felt it was too much. And she was extremely grateful, and was
very, very eloquent in expressing her gratitude and love.

During one of the visits of Krishna Chandra Prabhu and Radhapriya devi, Yamuna,
already looking ahead to the Florida move, had imagined us in a facility with a pool for exercise.
She said that Krishna Chandra and Radhapriya must come—there would be a special room for
them—and we would share Krishna Consciousness together. She then went into great detail
about how she would go with Radhapriya when only ladies were present, and they could exercise
together in the pool. Of course, we did not then even have a place to live. But somehow Yamuna
did find such a facility, and immediately wrote to them that they could now come at any time.

Radhapriya devi: [Yamuna said] “When you come there, we have to serve you on proper
plates.” So I asked what kind of plates. She wanted melamine, and then I got some plates and
showed them to her. She liked them. So she said, “We can pay for it.” And I said, “No, this is a
small gift from us.” And she said, “No, you can’t do that. You can’t do that.” For any small thing.
She would say, “I just asked you; you don’t have to give us.”

Krishna Chandra das: Not even my mother, I think, has had such an impact on me. No
other woman has had such an impact on me. I should say devotee or Mataji, but such a powerful
personality. And not just powerful, but the sheer love and Krishna Consciousness and her
concern was so penetrating. We used to feel it, and we just went so close. By Yamuna’s presence,
one automatically felt more attraction to and affection for Srila Prabhupada, because she
represented, in all respects, Vaishnava dharma; she represented the lineage; she respected and
represented Srila Prabhupada. So in that sense she was an Acharya in her own right. She was a
guru, without doubt, because people followed her, appreciated her. Technically or initiating aside,
but in essence she embodied that as a true follower of Prabhupada.

Yamuna wrote one last missive to the Saranagati devotees before leaving the hospital. In a
few paragraphs, her description of the “honoring and appreciating” event for the staff at
Bhaktivedanta Hospital expresses volumes.

Dear Saranagati devotees, Pranam dandavats to you. I pray you are all recovering from
the flu that has been going around. I have not written you for a month or more, and miss you all.
We are at the close of this three-month stay in India. Though in previous years, we have several
times spent three months in India, this time is different, as I am not returning to Saranagati. It is
now my previous home base of twelve years, and I leave there the richer having had your
company, with many diverse memories and many lessons learned.

Yesterday Dina and I arranged something to mark my three-month stay here in

Bhaktivedanta Hospital. We arranged for tables to be set up in the auditorium in a long rectangle,
with thirty chairs around it and white tablecloths over the tables. We ordered fifty long-stem
roses—made two rose vases for the table, and Dina and I made thirty satin ribbon, single rose
garlands with the rest. We brown-bagged fifteen gifts and set them down the length of the table.
Fifteen doctor [and staff] couples came who have been directly involved in my care here. As I am
still emotionally and physically frail (and it’s not either of our style to do chatty one-on-one thank
you’s for some hours), we just invited them with the intent of having a circle kirtan—the balm of
devotee sanga—and scheduled two hours for the event. As the chairs filled, we noted that several
attendees had a baby or quiet youth in their lap when they sat down, and one paraplegic young
girl in a wheelchair.

What followed is something likely all present will never forget—an experience rich
beyond describing in words; a taste of that Krishna Conscious zone of sanga that softens the
heart and enriches the mind. We requested Vishvarupa’s twenty-three-year-old daughter—loved
for her chanting—to play harmonium and lead a round-robin-style Hare Krishna kirtan. She did
so for about an hour, with each male and female voice resounding and responding with the beauty
of a practiced choir. This is an example of a close-knit group of devotees who not only serve
together six or seven days a week in the hospital but, in addition, spend quality time engaging in
direct devotional service together. Each commits two mornings a week to a two- or three-hour
round trip to cook for and/or dress the Deities in the Chowpatty or Mira Road temples. And with
seeming access to extra hours in the week no one else on the planet has, they meet weekly for
prasadam and kirtan together. As the young girl chanted, the potency of the group’s Krishna
Consciousness was reflected in sound.

Then hospital director, Madhavananda das, spoke some things—that this spiritual hospital
is a vehicle to glorify the process of Krishna Consciousness and to please Srila Prabhupada, to
serve devotees in need, and to spread Krishna Consciousness to humanity in need that passes
through its front doors. It had previously cared for Prabhupada disciples Bhakti-tirtha Swami for
six weeks, Jayapataka Swami for two and a half months, and now Yamuna devi for three
months—a new record. My chief doctor then spoke about how my case had been a particular
challenge, with many medical twists and turns that were complex and required my stay here for
three long months. Dina and I spoke of our gratitude for this experience—of what we learned in
the company of such dedicated, determined, fixed-up devotees, and how we wish to share that
with others in our future, wherever that may be.

At this point, they brought before us an elegant whipped-cream-topped, three-tiered,

heart-shaped cake, and garlanded each of us with five long maha malas—highly perfumed white
mogra, red and orange roses, and yellow and fuchsia nag champa—fresh from Radha-Gopinatha
Temple. Many of us were in tears at this point. This morning our cook described it as a Gokula
pastime like those described in Krsna book. Whew!

We both leave here in three days—Dina returning to Saranagati, and me heading off to
Alachua for more recuperation. We know not where our next destination is, but on paper are
heading towards the northeast Florida coast on the Atlantic Ocean. Wherever it may be, our
ashram destination is also your ashram destination. Hope we can continue the kirtan sanga we
have so treasured at the lotus feet of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari. Love to all—the Holy Name
alone is everything. Your grateful servant, Yamuna

—EMAIL TO SARANAGATI DEVOTEES, MAR. 10, 2011

Among Friends and Well-Wishers in Alachua

Yamuna could not fly straight through to Florida, so a two-day layover was scheduled for
London. Before she left, I sent several emails to Guru Carana Padma, Jahnavi and others,
reminding them of her frail condition and need for rest. But, unknown to me, at the same time, I
was asking them to limit her meetings with her Godsisters and young devotee friends to short
periods of time, Yamuna was online scheduling kirtans and programs with them—and saying,
“Don’t tell Dina.” What to do? Some of those same wonderful Godsisters and friends later
reported their London interactions with her as life-changing, because for most of them, it was the
last time they had her physical association in this life.

Jahnavi devi: At one point I went to the kitchen to help wash dishes, and Yamuna
walked in and exclaimed, “Isn’t Krishna Consciousness wonderful? Jahnavi and I play out the
rasa of being auntie and so on, but really we’re friends. What an amazing thing to have a
friendship between a seventy year old and a twenty-four year old.” Later, when everyone was in
another room, I said goodbye to her, not knowing if this may be the last time, as her health was so
bad, and I was not due to come to North America for a good few months. She barely said
anything, just looked deeply into my eyes for a long time. I experienced what people used to
describe with Srila Prabhupada—that he would look at you, and almost see into your soul. I felt
that I didn’t need to say anything; she could perceive it on the gross and subtle level. I was
wearing my pendant of Krishna’s lotus feet, as usual, and she touched it with her finger, then
gestured to her heart, then back to mine, and back to hers, going back and forth several times. I
understood that she was saying that our connection was eternal through service to Krishna’s lotus
feet. There was no need for goodbye.

Initially, I had mixed feelings about the temporary Alachua layover, again feeling that
Yamuna would not rest sufficiently due to the presence of so many devotees. As often as not,
Yamuna minimized the gravity of her illness, not wanting to “be a burden” on others. Yet at the
same time, I had confidence that she was in the capable hands of concerned friends who would
go to great lengths to see that she was cared for on every level.

Nirmala devi: In the spring of 2011, Yamuna stayed in our compound for [almost three]
months. She had just returned from Bhaktivedanta Hospital, and she was almost constantly in a
state of gratitude. She had such a severe health crisis and was still reeling from that. I would be
with her every day, visiting, doing research, chanting or driving her to doctor appointments.
Whether we were on the porch, driving in the car or just sitting on her bed, it would feel like the
most auspicious place on the planet because of her absorption in Srila Prabhupada and Krishna.
We would just sing together, chanting Hare Krishna. To her, Krishna Consciousness was a living,
breathing process at every moment.

Rangavati devi: Always the artist and most merciful self, she would prepare a late-night
meal for Jitari and me after work, accompanied by a little sweet note. It took some doing to get
her to stop this, as I felt so sad seeing how she would struggle on her feet. Once she rearranged
the fridge while I was out, and it looked like a piece of art—totally beautiful. It sounds odd, but I
liked myself more in her presence—perhaps she was pulling me up from the material pool and
helping me to believe in the bliss of the soul. As we sat at the dining table watching the cardinals
on their feeder, she said, “Srila Prabhupada would have liked it here; he would ask all about the
trees, birds and surroundings.” That meant a great deal to me, and it felt like Srila Prabhupada
was there in that moment. Although she was very, very ill—more than we knew—she never
fussed or complained about her condition. At this point in time she would say, “We are
free-falling.” Her Saranagati ashram was no longer a place she could reside, and her health was
gone. Yet, witnessing her strong and unflinching faith in Krishna and Srila Prabhupada hit me
very dramatically. Fixed and determined, each day she soldiered on through those unknown
waters.

Yamuna’s stay in Alachua at our home/ashram was short and so sweet. The three months
went by too quickly for me. I loved every second of her gracious and transcendental self. We
spent time in the kitchen like two children playing with different ingredients. I nicknamed her
“Ranni,” as she flowed like a summer breeze, combining Krishna’s wonderful bounty. Only after
chanting the om ajnana-timirandhasya prayer would she touch a utensil or a vegetable,
sometimes holding my hand as she gave her respects. Grace and loveliness were her constant
companions. Her genius and uniqueness were a new experience to my simple self. I loved her
humor, and we found ourselves laughing on many occasions, more than once to the point of tears.

Yamuna with her hosts Jitari and Rangavati

The task of packing and closing our ashram in Saranagati, and then driving the 3,300
miles to Florida, was indescribably difficult—especially as I was myself suffering from ulcerative
colitis, something I kept hidden from Yamuna. After one serious bout, a doctor in Canada had
given me an antibiotic which caused a severe allergic reaction, leaving me bedridden for two
weeks. Yet my emails remained upbeat, as I took the “just now coming” approach to keep
Yamuna from becoming worried or stressed.

I am relieved you are not here because you would be embarrassed at how much we have
collected over the years—my goodness! It just boggles the mind. How many bottles of
extra-virgin olive oil can we use in our life? How many kitchen whisks, knives, cutting boards
and other utensils do we need? At any rate, I’m slowly pushing on—extremely grateful that every
day someone brings prasadam or comes to help. But it’s really a job only you or I can do—to go
through a lifetime of treasures. What to keep? What to sell? What to bring? What to give as
charity to others? It’s just mind-boggling. Oh! By the way, could you please try to remember
where you’ve hidden any more stashes of money? So far, I’ve found hundred dollar bills in two
pairs of your socks. Are there more? Please inform.

—EMAIL FROM DINATARINI, APRIL 2, 2011

Dina-machina—I wish more than anything I was there to help you. Feeling so useless.
Don’t give away any of the kitchen tools. Just put them away and bring what I wrote on the list.
[Rangavati] and all here are so sweet and helpful. You’ll be happy that they’re seeing I get lots of
rest. Pranada is helping with the Medicare—a bureaucratic nightmare if ever there was one—but
she is one of those gifted, can-do women who has literally been a godsend. Keep me informed
every day! Don’t know about any other stashes.

—EMAIL TO DINATARINI, APR. 3, 2011

I later learned that while still in Mumbai, Yamuna had written to virtually every resident
of Saranagati requesting them to help me and bring prasadam. This was so “Yamuna.” She was
always more concerned about others than herself, and trying to ease the burden of my “load” was
a feature of her love and compassion which punctuated the entirety of our years of service
together.

During the course of my Saranagati packing, I would get lists almost every day of things
Yamuna “remembered” she needed. I had researched renting a U-Haul, but the costs were
prohibitive. So I settled on driving our reliable 10-year old Nissan truck, and found through
research that if I kept the total weight under 1000 pounds, I could also pull our small Scion car
filled with possessions. It meant severely limiting what I could bring, but with the help of
super-packer friend, Lilamrita, we filled up every inch of space in the bed of the truck and car;
and by Krishna’s grace, I made the long trip in eight days with no problems.

Yamuna’s Ideal Ashram is Found — Melbourne Beach —

June 2011

Each of Yamuna’s Alachua friends and caretakers told me they were amazed at her
perseverance and determination to find a suitable ashram on the water in Florida with our limited
budget. She spent many hours each day searching online or telephoning real estate agents. It took
nearly two months, but with the help of friends, she eventually found a place which exceeded our
expectations on every front.

Jitari das: When Yamuna was looking for a place to reside, we drove down to this lakes
area in the sandhills. It wasn’t easy for her to drive that distance, but she wanted to look at a
house that had a swimming pool in the backyard. So we went down there, pulled up in front of it,
and we both just looked at each other and laughed. It was so bad, but she said, “Anyway, we’ve
come all this way; I guess we should go in and look.” And it was even worse inside. But she just
took it as part of the process. It didn’t faze her one bit.

Srutirupa devi: Yamuna was on the internet day and night searching up and down the
Florida coast, for she felt she wanted to be on or near the ocean. My daughter and I were planning
to visit her in Alachua, and she asked me to go by a condo she had found, take pictures and let
her know what I thought. I took lots of photos, and Yamuna was just thrilled; I also sent them to
Dina in Canada to view. Yamuna was so excited by the idea of being on the ocean.

Nirmala devi: Yamuna was extremely personal. My husband, Devarshi, and I drove her
down to Melbourne Beach to look at a place for her and Dina to relocate to; we chanted most of
the way there and back. It was a magical day. We looked at many places and possibilities, and in
the end Krishna provided a lovely place on the beach. On the way out of town, we stopped for a
picnic at a beautiful park with trees bending down so much they appeared to be offering
obeisances…. She had packed an amazing lunch she’d prepared, even though she was not well,
and insisted on serving us, pulling out of the cooler two kinds of picture-perfect, mouth-watering
galettes (free-form tarts filled with various vegetable combinations). Along with that she had a
few different sauces to top them off. It was a gourmet lunch in beautiful surroundings, and
Yamuna devi was content that Krishna provided a new ashram for her and Dina to bring Their
Lordships Radha-Banabehari to, and an appropriate place to recuperate.

Yamuna with Nirmala and Devarshi, June 2011

Dini—Eureka! Finally found a magical ashram on the ocean, no less. After the last fiasco
fell through, I just felt that Krishna must have a better place in mind, and this was a true mercy
find. The owner wasn’t planning on ever renting it, but I talked to her several times, and she
agreed to a knock-down price. Here are some pictures.

—EMAIL TO DINATARINI, MAY 27, 2011

What!!?! Did you take these pictures out of some brochure? I didn’t think there was any
place in mid to south Florida that wasn’t wall-to-wall high rises. Can’t believe you got it within
our price range too. You are a miracle worker. The den will make a perfect temple room too.
Truly the Krishna Magic.

—EMAIL FROM DINATARINI, MAY 28, 2011

You know how we traveled forty miles round-trip to empty the trash at Saranagati? Well,
here, you walk out the front door, open another door, and there is a chute with places for
recyclables and normal trash. What a difference!

—EMAIL TO DINATARINI, MAY 30, 2011

I found out later that the “knock-down” price was not quite as knocked-down as Yamuna
represented. Knowing that I was always worried about finances, and that I would never agree to
the actual price, she exaggerated that aspect of it a bit. But as with so many other blessings in our
lives, this proved to be a magical last ashram for Yamuna. She loved the peaceful surroundings,
the minimal maintenance requirements, the beautiful and functional kitchen, and especially the
balcony overlooking the turquoise ocean and sandy beaches, where she honored all of her meals.
After our porch kirtans, when we offered the pranam prayers, Yamuna would invariably add an
“All glories to the Atlantic Ocean!” recalling Srila Prabhupada’s same offering to the Pacific
Ocean in San Francisco.

Yes, the free-fall of the last six to eight months ended yesterday. We signed a year lease
contract. The relief is palpable. Yesterday, I got a sample of the opulence we have been
awarded—pure Krishna majesty in the form of ocean as far as the eyes can see; sky as far as the
eyes can see; air full of energy; and white sandy beaches. This rental is nothing but pure
TM—Total Mercy of the Lord.

—EMAIL TO KARTAMASA AND RADHAKUNDA, MAY 30, 2011

This place is the opposite of all things Saranagati—upscale furnishings and facility, ample
running water, electricity galore, a washer and dryer—all fronting an ever-changing and dramatic
endless blue sky and blue Atlantic Ocean. No outdoor maintenance work; it’s just such a different
world from our Saranagati world. We have served Their Lordships in diverse places—from
Oregon mobile homes to England 17-room mansions—but right now this seems the most magical
location. We find ourselves daily in a state of WOW AND GRATITUDE. There is much
opportunity for internal growth and health rejuvenation here.

—EMAIL TO KARTAMASA AND RADHAKUNDA, JUNE 19, 2011

 Yamuna on arrival in Melbourne Beach

Soon after I arrived, and the Deities were established in Their new temple room, Yamuna
sent emails to Radhanath Swami and Krishna Chandra Prabhu and his family, inviting them to
visit. Even though her health remained unstable, she felt so much gratitude for their services and
care in Mumbai that she wanted to reciprocate by bringing them to Florida, as she had promised.

Krishna Chandra das: During the time she spent at Bhaktivedanta Hospital, we got a
chance to interact with her, and she had mentioned that she would now be moving to Florida for
her health and that she also had to lose weight. So even I had to lose weight, and so did my wife;
so she was insisting that we would have to come, and we would all go swimming. She was doing
walking in the pool, and it was very effective. I had not heard of this concept, but apparently it
did help her for some time. So after that, she wrote two or three letters giving the description of
the pool, and saying [we could] come there with her; and she took everything so seriously.

Dear “Hospital Friends” Krishna Chandra, Radhapriya, Mu-kunda and Radha, Pranam
dandavats to your 40 lotus toes. Jaya Srila Prabhupada and Srila Radhanath Swami. I pray this
meets you wellrested in your fast-paced preaching universe at the feet of Sri Sri
Radha-Gopinatha, your Guru Maharaja and the Vaishnavas. Thank you from all sides for being in
my life; it is increasingly richer because of that. Your sanga meant a great deal to me in the
hospital. I have been looking for a new Florida Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari Mandir location
practically since arriving here two months ago. In Bhaktivedanta Hospital, Radhanath Swami
said he liked to swim in the ocean. Krishna Chandra and Dinatarini said they very much liked to
walk on the beach. You, Radha and Mukunda, I envisioned kicking back and drinking it all in,
letting young Radhanath love the ocean as only kids do. I long envisioned Radhapriya and I in a
private pool somewhere doing water exercises together; this place has a solar-heated pool. Since
hearing that, I have been secretly aspiring for an oceanfront residence, and now it has come to
pass. I do see this as a Total Mercy find. After what feels like eight months in “free-fall,”
yesterday we signed a year lease on a furnished condo facing the Atlantic Ocean, with a rent
reflecting that of an (ordinary) condo in Florida. This was simply the mercy of Their Lordships.
 —EMAIL TO KRISHNA CHANDRA AND FAMILY, MAY 30, 2011

In early July, our young friends Kartamasa and Radhakunda, who had been greatly feeling
our separation, and we theirs, came to Melbourne Beach for a short visit. While here, their
rambunctious little child, Ghanashyam, became ill, and Kar and Radha felt their stay here as
more a burden than a blessing—though we most certainly did not.

Kartamasa das: We only stayed for four or five days in Dina’s room, and we were
generally a nuisance. Ghanashyam got some viral fever, which kept everyone up all night, and we
ended up taking him to the emergency room the day before we flew back to Canada. As always,
we were hosted graciously with amazing prasadam, sweet kirtans and talks, and beach comforts.
We honored Bhaktivinoda Thakur’s Appearance Day together on June 30. But for me, it will
forever haunt me as a time when I took too much service and caused inconceivable hardship to
Dina and Yamuna. It is one of those experiences where you don’t realize what you were doing
until you grow up a bit and feel so much shame.

Yamuna, Ghanashyam, Radhakunda, and Dinatarini

These sincere young devotees had also been experiencing difficulties within the
Saranagati Village community, something we all endured at various times there. While the
obstacles or challenges were troubling in and of themselves, Yamuna always encouraged others
to try to find strength through adversity, humility through confrontation, and utilize such
challenges as opportunities to forge a deeper connection to devotional service, to Krishna and to
the Vaishnavas.

Yamuna: While I care deeply about the spiritual health and potential of Saranagati, I
especially care about the spiritual well-being of you three Saranagati residents. As you have not
experienced the pure guidance of a living, pure devotee guru yet, situations like this must be
especially challenging to have on your doorstep. This is not the first time this has happened; nor
will it be the last. Yet, because of your sincere desire to experience pure, real and honest Krishna
Conscious life and share that with others, Krishna is personally giving you the strength and
intelligence to take shelter of Srila Prabhupada, Sri Sri Krishna-Balarama and your service. This
too will one day simply be a memory and lesson learned. Purity is the force.

I wanted to share something we read this morning in Bhagavatam class—1.13.43. If

interested in the context, please read the full purport and feel the power of transcendental wisdom
and truth fill your heart and mind.

“As a player sets up and disperses his playthings according to his own sweet will, so the
supreme will of the Lord brings men together and separates them.”

Purport: So we must know for certain that the particular position in which we are now in
is set up as an arrangement of the supreme will in terms of our own acts in the past. The Supreme
Lord is present as the localized Paramatma in the heart of every living being, as it is said in
Bhagavad-gita (13.23), and therefore He knows everything of our activities in every stage of our
lives. He rewards the reactions of our actions by placing us in some particular place….”
(Srimad-Bhagavatam 1.13.43)

Be attentive to what is important for your spiritual life, and when called up, deal with
extraneous issues only enough to be responsible. Seek out the association of advanced devotees,
listen to and serve them, and feel blessed for that opulence. It will soothe and nourish your heart,
mind and soul. Govardhan Academy Ki jaya. We are always here for you and sending love and
encouragement.

—EMAIL TO KARTAMASA AND RADHAKUNDA, AUG. 11, 2011

Yamuna wrote in a similar vein encouraging her sister, Janaki, who also faced grave
physical challenges. Yamuna had a gift for speaking in an inspirational and devotional way, yet
in a manner relevant to the individual listener. Her email to Janaki, similar to many others like it,
expresses this quality of Yamuna’s:

These last six months have been a huge wake-up call for Dina and me to focus sincerely
and seriously on Krishna’s hidden gifts—far, far away from a distressed body and mind. Of
course, an aging, ailing body is always a challenge (at times 24/7), and it is not an easy job to rise
above that when in anxiety, pain, discomfort, weakness, apathy, exhaustion, etc. The trick is to
live in the body of our destiny, to attend to its needs and do our best—to strive for the solace of
distracting ourselves from the externals and live in a world of wonder in Krishna’s hands. Just
like tonight: I’m staring through an uncurtained window to see the nearly full July moon and
drink in its magic, silver white light; to smell the fragrance of night-blooming jasmine; to wrap
up in the coolness or warmth of something soft; reflect on all the past life experiences and joys in
your life that took you to high points, and see the hand of Krishna in goodness and humanity; to
jump out of the I-Me-My world into the sublime dimension of service to others, and make this
world a happier place for whomever we cross paths with. Just some bedtime thoughts from this
world to yours out West.

—EMAIL TO JANAKI, JULY 17, 2011

 Janmastami and Vyasa Puja by the Sea

Our Godsister Srutirupa—qualified, intelligent, loving and eager to share all things
devotional—came to spend Janmastami and Vyasa Puja with us in Melbourne. Among devotee
cooks, Srutirupa’s talent and kitchen standards were appreciated by Yamuna perhaps more than
any other. Both had cooked for Srila Prabhupada—Srutirupa in the mid-1970’s—and they would
often compare how traditional preparations were adjusted for Prabhupada’s digestive needs over
the years. Srutirupa has a keen eye for purity, quality and cleanliness in cooking and
offering—something Yamuna also shared—and they would spend long hours dissecting a
Prabhupada recipe—discussing how they had prepared it for him then, and how they would adapt
it today. They also shared wonderful pastimes they experienced in his service. Srutirupa once
related how Srila Prabhupada’s sister, Pishima, who usually cooked for him when she visited,
was once prevented from cooking because Prabhupada could no longer digest the highly-spiced
Bengali cuisine he so enjoyed. Mustard seeds were especially restricted by this time. So Srila
Prabhupada told Srutirupa to inform Pishima that she could not cook. However, out of respect for
Pishima, Srutirupa could not bear to disappoint her. So as Pishima began collecting ingredients
and grinding spices with a sil bhatta [stone grinder], Srutirupa tried to convey to Pishima that
Prabhupada could have no mustard seeds in the spice mix—something which was inconceivable
to Pishima. So Srutirupa then took one tiny mustard seed, placed it on the sil bhatta, and smiled;
and Pishima diligently began grinding the one mustard seed with the other spices.

Srutirupa with Yamuna in 2011

On Vyasa Puja, Yamuna, Srutirupa and I went to the ocean shore, and Yamuna watched
while Srutirupa and I made a murti of Krishna from the sand. This was the first time Yamuna had
been able to walk to the beach. Although it was not far away, in her condition it must have
seemed like miles, yet she was blissfully happy to celebrate in this way. Later, as she was
physically no longer able to organize the elaborate festivities and feasts she had always done
before, she sat before the Deities instead, while mentally preparing each offering with great
attention—meditating on each step of the cooking process. Srutirupa and I also contributed our
preparations, and then Yamuna carefully calligraphed the menu, read it aloud before Srila
Prabhupada and Their Lordships and placed it at Srila Prabhupada’s lotus feet. Yamuna sent the
following email to friends on Vyasa Puja:

I pray this meets you all well and relishing this occasion [of Vyasa Puja] more deeply
than ever before. Here [we observed] about the most joyous one ever. After the morning
program, Dina, Srutirupa and I went to the seashore, and while I chanted japa, they fashioned a
lovely Krishna Deity in the sand. Then we watched Srila Prabhupada DVDs and told Srila
Prabhupada stories. Then we came up with this Srila Prabhupada raj bhoga offering. Nearly all of
the dishes are ones appreciated by, taught by, made for or learned from Srila Prabhupada, Anand
Prabhu [his Godbrother who personally cooked for Srila Bhaktisiddhanta], or Srila Prabhupada’s
sister, Bhavatarini [Pishima].

Aside from this [mental offering], Srutirupa made two kinds of kadhi. I made
potato-chickpea tikkis; kale, yellow tomato, sweet potatoes, currant sak; quinoa pilau; and
apple-date-orange salad with basil olive oil and cilantro. And Dina made basmati rice pilau.
Because I know all of you relish preparing and distributing prasadam on different levels, I
thought you might relish this:

Srila Prabhupada’s Vyasa-Puja Offering at Radha-Banabehari Mandir—Melbourne

Beach–Puri by the Sea

VEGGIES:

Pishima Mayapur 1976—Datta Posta

S.P. Vrindavan 1976—Badi Chachuri

Pishima Calcutta 1976—Shukta with Rai and Posta Paste

Pishima Mayapur 1976—Neem Begun

Mayapur 1976—Stuffed Bindi

Mayapur 1976—Stuffed Kerela

Pishima Mayapur 1976—Whole Portals, Pan-fried

S.P. Vrindavan 1976—Punjabi Badi Sooji

Pishima Vrindavan 1972—Begun Sak

Pishima 1972—Shukta

S.P. 1972—Chachuri with Eggplant, Pea, Potato

S.P. 1972—Chachuri with Potato, String Bean

S.P. 1967—Kofta

S.P. 1968—Summer Squash, Wet

S.P. 1968—Tomato Ras Cauliflower, Potato

Anand Vrindavan 1972—Pumpkin Potato Veg

S.P. 1969—Urad Badi Sabji in Cooker

S.P. 1970—Fried Bitter Melon Chips with Nimbu Wedges

DALS:

S.P. 1975 Vrindavan—Three Dals, Mixed Khadi

Anand Vrindavan 1972—Bhaktisiddhanta Urad Dal

Anand Vrindavan 1972—Jagannatha Puri Chana Dal

S.P. 1969—Cauliflower Pea Kitchari

S.P. 1972—Toor Dal

RICE:

S.P Cooker—Steamed Soft Plain Rice

S.P. 1968—Coconut Rice

S.P. 1967—Pineapple Rice with Whipped Cream, Raisins and Slivered Toasted Almonds

SAVORIES:

S.P. 1967—Samosas

S.P. 1977—Pea Kachoris

S.P. Vrindavan 1977—Singara with Diced Alu and Coconut

S.P. 1968—Urad Badi in Sour Cream Sauce

S.P. Vrindavan 1976—Chilka Mung Cheela

S.P. Vrindavan 1977—Dahi Wada with Imli Chutney

BREADS:

S.P. 1974—Vrindavan Chapatis

S.P. 1976—Buvaneswara Marwadi Chapatis

S.P. 1968—Luchis with Powdered Sugar

S.P. 1973—Hot Parathas with Chutney

S.P. Vrindavan 1975—Hot Alu Paratha Puris

SWEETS:

S.P. 1976—Kumba Mela Besan Halava with Kesar, Elaichi, Kali Mirch

S.P. 1967—Sooji Halava

S.P. 1975—Calcutta Badam Sandesh

S.P. 1967—Gulab Jamun

S.P. 1967—Chaval Khir

S.P. 1967—Laddu

S.P. 1967—Simply Wonderfuls

S.P. 1967—Nuts & Raisins

S.P. 1973—Hot Jalebis

S.P. 1969—Rasgullas

S.P. 1969—Tittenhurst Pera

S.P. 1969—Tittenhurst Sandesh

DRINKS:

S.P. 1967—Breakfast Drink

SNACKS:

Chidwa
 S.P. 1976—Kumba Mela Poha

This afternoon we will watch and discuss Srila Prabhupada footage and speak on Srila
Prabhupada from Dina’s “brown bag of joy.” What a way to relish in a simple way! Praying that
you all have balance, good fortune and joy in your spiritual lives.

—EMAIL TO FRIENDS, AUG. 20, 2011

Afterward, Yamuna summed up her feelings of gratitude for the gift of Krishna’s
blessings:

Sharing the gift we have been given is a high point in my life. We are fortunate beyond
words, for the depth of that opulence is limitless. Much love and appreciation each day.

—EMAIL TO FRIENDS, AUG. 20, 2011

 During her last year, Yamuna honored each festival with similar meditative offerings, and
for large festivals, such as Lord Balarama’s Appearance or Govardhan Puja, she would email her
offerings to devotee friends around the world. In reviewing the correspondence between Yamuna
and others during 2011, I found eleven of these widely distributed offerings.

The Dichotomy of Yamuna’s Heart — Physically Diseased;

Spiritually Bountiful

It is difficult to put into words how blessed I felt to witness Yamuna’s total absorption in
devotional life during her last months, especially her sharing of joyful and meaningful devotional
exchanges with others. Whether she was encouraging young devotees like Bhakta Mark in his
Donut Plant service in New York, or Jahnavi in her inspirational kirtans, or numerous
others—each was individual, and each was heartfelt. Yamuna, no doubt realizing that her time
was limited, was on fire during these months—a living example of the transformative power of
engaging in the practice of Krishna Consciousness.

Yet, the contrast between her spiritual dynamism and the gravity of her physical condition
could not have been more glaring. Urged on by myself and other devotees who did not want her
to leave “just yet,” she dutifully went to local cardiologists, who were cold, impersonal and
dismissive. Yamuna called it “Health Care-less,”—a system of corporate-managed health care
with the emphasis on the bottom line (money), not the well-being of the patient. Whenever she
had an appointment, she would become quiet and grave, and afterward, she would adamantly
proclaim that she would not go to any more doctor appointments.

By early fall, Yamuna began having what she termed “episodes,” actually small heart
attacks, with more frequency. An angiogram was performed, and Yamuna was then admitted to
the hospital for three days while a series of cardiologists evaluated her. The angiogram showed
that all of her arteries were blocked, and that she was being sustained by the collaterals, or small
blood vessels surrounding the heart. Originally they wanted to perform bypass surgery, but later
informed her that there was a high risk she would not live through it. So they gave her a
cornucopia of medicines and told her to eat a high-protein, meat-based diet. When Yamuna
informed them that this was not possible, as she was a vegetarian, the doctor bluntly said, “If you
want to live, you have to eat meat.” Later, when we asked for Yamuna’s medical records, this
same doctor had noted on her file that she was “uncooperative.”

Rather than being disturbed by the prognosis, Yamuna was greatly relieved. She did not
want to have bypass surgery, and made me promise that I would not take her to the hospital
again. “When it is my time, please let me die peacefully while chanting the Holy Name,” she
said. In the meantime, she had become enthusiastic about the heart health program of Dr.
Esselstyn of the Cleveland Clinic, and she began following his program—a no-oil, no-fat, largely
greens-based diet which had produced verifiable results in patients with irreversible heart disease.
With her usual exuberance, she began improving on their recipes—even declaring at one point
that she would like to write a cookbook: “Otherwise, people will get bored with these recipes and
won’t be able to follow the program.”
 Yamuna’s rude and dismissive treatment by her US doctors caused her to appreciate the
qualities of the devotees at Bhaktivedanta Hospital even more. We often discussed the
differences—contrasting what real health care meant as opposed to what she was now
experiencing. Certainly this was not meant as an indictment of all doctors in the US, but in her
case, while they may have had medical competency, their attitude was egregious. Yamuna kept
Dr. Dwarakadish and others apprised of her condition and expressed her gratitude at every
opportunity:

I am so blessed to have you for a friend and my true doctor in this lifetime. I trust you
completely—your integrity and depth shines before you even arrive on the scene. Interesting that
I saw six registered cardiologists in the last three weeks, and not one of them agreed on my
prognosis, yet each one speaking with authority and conviction. At any rate, I was released from
hospital 24 hours ago with a wave goodbye. A team of cardiologists said they felt the risks were
too high for surgery. We are more than happy with this doctor conclusion, and to have avoided
that huge surgery. Very grateful to again resume our real life in this tiny ashram by the sea, once
again engaging in glorious Krishna Consciousness. Devotee guests from Alachua came
yesterday, and we are all relishing like anything. I feel completely protected by Krishna at this
time in my life—dependent on His arrangements, shelter and mercy.

—EMAIL TO DR. DWARAKADISH, SEPT. 11, 2011

Sinking Into the Ocean of Bhakti with Dear Devotee Guests

I remember the last months of Yamuna’s earthly life as being filled with intense joy,
laughter, and deeply moving exchanges of love with the stream of friends who regularly came for
short periods of time. In late September, I had to make a brief trip to Saranagati Village. I had
arranged for Devarshi and Nirmala to come while I was away—Devarshi, with his chiropractic
table and wonderful healing gifts, and Nirmala, who would lovingly care for any of Yamuna’s
needs. But because of scheduling difficulties, there was a two-day window when Yamuna was
alone. When I returned with our dear friend Lilamrita from Saranagati, Yamuna related an
astounding story. Feeling an “episode” coming on, she entered the temple room and lay down
before Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari. She lost consciousness at some point, and when she awoke, she
was holding the clay murti of Srila Prabhupada embraced within her arms while still lying in the
same position!

Some of the devotee friends who came during those first months were Kalakantha das and
Jitamrita devi, Bhakta Henry, Rangavati devi and Jitari, Amala Harinama and his sister and niece,
Nirmala and Devarshi (three times), and Srutirupa devi, another frequent guest. When I returned
from Saranagati Village with Lilamrita, we began reading from Bhakti-ratnakara, and Yamuna
was transfixed by the ocean metaphors on the importance of serving devotees. Feeling grateful
for the assistance given to me during my short visit there, Yamuna wrote to all of the residents of
Saranagati:

I pray this meets you all well on this wonderful fall day of 2011. From a distance, I
continue to relish the memory of your sanga. I’m writing to you all because you all came to see
Dina, and you took the opportunity to share moments together in sanga. You must know I am
there in spirit with you all.

Amala Harinama with Dinatarini and Yamuna

O listeners! Sink in the ocean of Bhakti-ratnakara by holding the feet of the multitude of
devotees on your head. Devotion is the possession of a devotee, but becomes available to a
devotee only when he (or she) assists another person in acquiring it. (Bhakti-ratnakara)

—EMAIL TO SARANAGATI DEVOTEES, OCT. 9 2011

Lilamrita devi, photographed by Yamuna

 On October 19, Yamuna had another “episode,” her third recent one. She wrote in her
update email to friends:

Today I had another what we call heart disease “episodes”—these out-of-the-normal

health happenings—my third in 23 days. I feel so near death during these events—intense and
discombobulating—with my immediate relief being hearing Srila Prabhupada’s kirtans, holding
my beads and trying to chant and pray. This one lasted a few hours before subsiding. I feel sorry
that Dina is present to witness these things, as I know they take a toll on her strength and
goodness. She is an amazing rock-steady servant, friend, inspiration. I am forever grateful for her
company. An hour ago, as I slowly came out of the attack, Dina and I discussed the last five days
since taking yet a new form of statin drug prescribed by my cardiovascular doctor from hell. We
have come to the conclusion that these health “episodes” [might be made worse by] the myriad of
side effects from the statin drugs I have been prescribed to take. In each case, I could identify
experiencing over 30 listed side effects. Yes, statin drugs may well lower cholesterol, but the side
effects virtually cripple life as I know it. So as of tomorrow, stopping them to study if other
medications need to be stopped as well. The Holy Name alone is everything. Jaya jaya pure
devotional service, appreciation of Vaishnavas and love of the Holy Name. With appreciation,
love and respect. Yamuna

—EMAIL TO FRIENDS, OCT. 19, 2011

Yamuna was extremely concerned that the statins and other drugs prescribed for her,
rather than prolonging her life, would impair the quality of the life she had left. In particular, she
often reflected on the “Swan of My Mind” prayer of King Kulasekhara, emphatically reiterating
to me again and again that the quality of life was the important thing, and that if she could not
focus on Krishna at the time of death due to impaired faculties caused by the medicines, then
what was the use of prolonging life?

What is the difference if I live five more days, months or years if I cannot meditate or
focus on Krishna at the end of my life? That is the very purpose of this life—the piece de
resistance of the entire process.

—EMAIL TO DINATARINI, OCT. 19, 2011

Yamuna mentioned how she was grappling with this issue in an email update to friends:

I’m off to a doctor appointment this morning. Body parts have been a challenge the last
two months. It’s easy to understand now how difficult it must be to think of Krishna exclusively
at the point of death, though I am getting glimpses, and it helps me appreciate the opportunity I
have today that quickly becomes tomorrow. In practical ways, I am glimpsing how every day that
you pay attention to Krishna nourishes you far into the future and gives you strength beyond
calculation. Regulation in chanting, reading and following the guidelines handed down to us by
great devotees is key. Otherwise, there is little hope of more than eating, sleeping,
mating—activities in the material world—on and on. Slaghitani to your reading group—to warm
your souls into the cold winter and spark more sincerity to explore a Krishna Conscious life.

—EMAIL TO FRIENDS, OCT. 21, 2011

 In November, a kirtan retreat was held in Alachua, and our cherished young Milkmaids,
along with Jahnavi and Nadia, came afterward for a short visit, along with Srutirupa devi and her
son, Keshava. This was the last time these much-loved young friends saw Yamuna and, as with
all of our times together, they consisted of wonderful kirtans, readings and frank and honest talks
about their devotional lives.

Srutirupa, Keshava, Dinatarini, Nadia and Milkmaids Kava, Gopal, Kalindi, and Rasa

Kalindi devi (Milkmaid): While we were at Melbourne with Yamuna and Dina, we were
very much focused on the form of Krishna’s mercy through the tests He puts us through.
Sometimes Krishna will put us through very painful situations so that we can come back to Him.
We were talking about examples like Maharaja Pariksit, Prahlada and Haridas Thakur, and how
they were all placed in very painful situations, but they all saw it as Krishna’s arrangement and
mercy. As we were talking, Yamuna said, “It shows that there is so much farther and higher to
go. In our literature, it’s so exciting that we all have role models. We need to have someone that
you feel who will really always protect you, and these great souls by their very existence are
there as shelter for us. We just have to find them.” As she said this I thought, “But I have found
them, and that’s you, Yamuna, and you, Dina. You are my role models; you have both been
through so much. You have lost so much, yet you see it all as Krishna’s sweet mercy.” Little did I
know that very soon this special pure devotee of the Lord would be leaving us, to again reunite
with her beloved Spiritual Master and Lord.

Rasa Mandala devi (Milkmaid): Ever since you left Saranagati, I feel like my spiritual
life has all but stopped, that I have no spark to ignite the fire of spiritual advancement. When
Dina visited, a mere two hours of association and I felt energized and ready to take on the whole
material world. Then in the short span of 24 hours in your association in Melbourne, I feel as if I
have garnered more spiritual inspiration than the entire year without you. Devotee association is
so important, so crucial to spiritual life. I can’t believe how much I miss your association and the
stunning faces of Radha-Banabehari, and I can hardly express in words how much having time
with you means to me. Serving Radha-Banabehari and having your association are the most
wonderful thing in the world, and there is a giant gap in my life and my heart that is missing it so
much, and I don’t think it will ever be filled by anything else.

The Ocean of Time Club — Krishna Kirtan Jaya Bhakti Vilas

Despite her declining health, whenever guests came, Yamuna would stand for hours
preparing opulent meals for them—sometimes beginning the planning one or even two days
prior. Although I regularly expressed concern about this, Yamuna could not be dissuaded from
the service. Cooking and serving devotees was a highlight of her devotional life throughout all
her years of practice and, as ill as she was, it would not change now. After the Milkmaids left,
Jahnavi and Nadia were joined by kirtaniya Madhava das, his wife Radhika, and young Ananta
das from Alachua, who came for two days of kirtan and sanga—all facilitated by Srutirupa, who
appreciated Madhava’s sincere absorption in chanting the Holy Names, as well as his ability to
inspire others. Yamuna and I had never met Madhava and his wife, and while our kirtans with
them were certainly wonderful, their honest introspection and thoughtful questions inspired us
even more. Before they arrived, Yamuna wrote to Kartamasa and Radhakunda, who would soon
be coming themselves:

All glories to your teaching service in Saranagati. We are so eager though for your
almost-upon-us break from that teaching in Saranagati. Time for you to nourish, rest and
rejuvenate in this special place. We will make each day a sanga festival in some special way. It’s
amazing how rich our sanga is, and that it continues to deepen with passing years. Eager to speak
about all you have learned and experienced since we last met. We are so, so, so fortunate. You
will be present in every kirtan we celebrate in the coming days. I’ve just [been] watching
Madhava on camera at the Alachua kirtans; he speaks like a gentleman—like you, Kar. And his
wife seems a lovely soul, a fine counterpart to him, very immersed in the Holy Name—like you,
Radha. Devotees like you all herald in a very bright future on the Vaishnava horizon of
tomorrow. How glorious it is that we can chant Hare Krishna and make our lives sublime. Hari
hari biphale—Appreciation and love.

—EMAIL TO KARTAMASA AND RADHAKUNDA, NOV. 27, 2011

Over the course of three days, we held honest, poignant discussions with these sincere
devotees on harmonizing challenges in our devotional lives. We began by bringing up how we
become bewildered by anarthas and weaknesses, and then read a letter written by Srila
Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur on August 5, 1926.

Dinatarini: Over the last couple of months, we have been having conversations with
several devotees about how to harmonize the challenges that come in our life and our devotional
life—how to harmonize the fact that anarthas sometimes bewilder us in our Krishna
Consciousness, and understand them in such a way that they can act as an impetus to increased
absorption, increased diving into the ocean of the joy …

Yamuna: Diving into the ocean of joy—that’s a good one.

 Dinatarini: So Krishna is so amazing that sometimes, if you contemplate something in
your devotional life, something that you feel you need to understand and assimilate, He sends just
what you need to hear. I came across this letter, which is like shastra to me. It is such an amazing
letter, written on August 5, 1926, by Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati. And he addresses all these
points in such an amazing way that it would be wonderful to read it and then discuss amongst
ourselves what we are getting out of it—what we are understanding out of it.

Dear [unnamed]: You have been serving and protecting the Varanasi Math completely on
your own, so I understand why your mind has prompted you to write a letter of this nature.
Krame krame praya loka bhava sindhu kula, [Caitanya-caritamrta 2.16.237]—for one only
crosses over this ocean of material existence and reaches the shore of transcendental existence by
progressing step by step. Genuine eagerness to attain the goal—samat kantha; service to Sri
Krishna—Krishna seva; service to Sri Krishna’s devotees—karsna seva; chanting the Holy
Name—sri nama kirtan; and being bound by the hope that you will be successful on the spiritual
path, all bring about one’s spiritual welfare. If we remain constantly engaged in all varieties of
endeavors for the sake of Sri Krishna, we cannot be overpowered by the various allurements of
maya. You should always hear and chant and read the shastra, as well as our Gaudiya magazine,
as well as the books of the mahajanas. In this way, you will never succumb to lethargy in the
process of studying and assimilating our perfect spiritual conclusions or siddhanta. You should
engage in mutually hearing and speaking hari katha with all the devotees there with you.

As you progress in bhajan, you will gradually experience a mood of humility and
insignificance within your heart. You already know that the most exalted devotee always
considers himself to be the lowest of all—sarvottama apanake hena kari mane. Furthermore,
aspiring for the spiritual welfare of others leads to progress in our own bhajan. Although service
to Sri Krishna—Krishna seva; service to Krishna’s devotees—karsna seva; and chanting of the
Holy Names—sri nama sankirtan are three different activities, they all share a common
objective. By engaging in sri nama kirtan, one simultaneously performs service to Sri Krishna
and His devotees. By serving the Vaishnavas—karsna seva, sri nama sankirtan and service to Sri
Krishna are performed. And by serving Sri Krishna, sri nama kirtan, and service to His devotees
are performed.

You should perceive your former life and the impressions from it as conducive to
performing bhajan. In other words, you should realize that the unfavorable conditions of your
past are in fact a platform for the manifestation of favorable ones in the present. It is the very
calamities that arise in unfavorable conditions that subsequently give birth to favorable
conditions for bhajan. Everything within this visible world is verily an instrument for serving Sri
Krishna. But our aversion to seva inverts our intelligence, which consequently engages us in
trying to enjoy these things. Only when transcendental knowledge manifests in our hearts and we
are finally able to perceive everything in relation to Krishna will we be safe from the effects of
the poisonous fruit of pratistha—honor and recognition.

The precarious current of your life is relentlessly pouring into the ocean of time. When a
person has attained this wisdom, his tendency to serve Sri Hari will manifest in every step.
Therefore, it is our duty to accept, with a satisfied heart, whatever pleases Sri Krishna. If Sri
Krishna feels happy by keeping me in a state of aversion to Him, even then I shall respectfully
accept any suffering I must consequently endure. Tomara sevaya dukha hoya yato seyo to
parama sukha: All the troubles I may encounter while serving You are actually the cause of great
happiness. (Saranagati) This is the realization of the Vaishnavas, and you should try to follow
this. When one’s anarthas are purified through service to Sri Krishna, then those very conditions
become the cause of our artha, or prayojana, the most desirable permanent welfare….

Due to the result of our previous karma, sometimes we remain healthy, and sometimes we
become ill. But the moment we consider ourselves actually healthy, we in fact enter into a state of
aversion to Krishna. And as a result we begin to imagine that Vaishnavas who are more advanced
than we are, are actually inferior to us. On account of this, Krishna keeps us in various states of
distress, pain, illness and disturbance in our lives. Thereafter we try to understand the meaning of
the verse beginning tat te nu kampanam—whenever a devotee experiences distress, he perceives
it as the Lord’s mercy upon him.

—SARASWATI THAKUR, AUG. 5, 1926

Yamuna: So we have to enter into this little blue book any time someone hears
something about the ocean. She said the ocean of joy, and the ocean of time—I want you to take
a pen and write it down. We are starting that with our Ocean of Time club today.

Srutirupa devi: I’d like you to help me understand this one paragraph: (You should
perceive your former life and the impressions from it as conducive to performing bhajan …)

Yamuna: Unless we taste the opposites … Krishna is so kind that when we came here to
enjoy independently of Him, He let us go through all these species, all these experiences. Then
we come to the human form of life, so that we can be cogent. That is what the human form of life
is for. And unless we have the opposites, we cannot find the center. We can’t find balance unless
we are unbalanced. We can’t find happiness unless we find sorrow. We can’t find anything that
brings us to the center, which is Krishna Consciousness, without it. So every time we have a
really big miserable experience, then we know what it is like to be relieved from that. And we
have to learn from that. Just like when we were in Prabhupada’s service. Prabhupada was able to
understand each mentality individually, in such a way that he was able to … show us light from
darkness, in every aspect of our Krishna Conscious life. But unless we have someone there to
reveal that to us, it is a little slow. But in the process of self-realization, we learn from our
downsides. That’s our past. Anything averse to Krishna is our downside.

Srutirupa devi: What do you mean, “downside”?

Yamuna: Forgetting Krishna. Remembering Krishna is the goal. Forgetting Krishna is

the constitutional position of the conditioned living entity—that is what we have been doing
through all of these species of lives. And when we get to the human form of life, it is so
wonderful that we can look back and go, “I have just wasted time. O Krishna! I’ve just wasted so
much time.” That is hari hari biphale.

Madhava das: I wanted to say something. Just like the waves of the ocean, when surfers
miss the wave they get smashed. So unless we’ve been smashed by the waves of maya, it is hard
to cry out for the mercy of the Lord. We think we are still controlling, riding the waves as the
controller; we pull the strings to make things happen, and it is very hard to [see it differently].
 Srutirupa devi: So do you think we should pray for being beat up?

Jahnavi devi: Queen Kunti did.

Dinatarini: Whether you pray for it or not, it’s going to come.

Srutirupa devi: I mean it’s there, I don’t mean pray for it; it’s there, so just embrace it?

Dinatarini: Not that you pray for being beaten up, but that you pray for understanding the
lessons that you are to learn from whatever challenge you are being given. The whole thing is to
try to increase the state of our need for Krishna. The urgency within that we need to cultivate in
order to increase our faith and determination.

Madhava das: Aindra Prabhu had about three thousand shilas—six or seven plates of
shaligrams. Devotees would come from Nepal and give him shilas. And some devotees gave him
a shila, but [a sannyasi] came and said that if you worship this shila, you will get all kinds of
problems—disease—everything; all kinds of imaginable problems will come to you. But Aindra
Prabhu said, “Let the problems come; they may make me stronger. If it doesn’t break me, it will
make me stronger. I will just pray like Queen Kunti.” He wasn’t praying for problems to come,
but he was praying to Radhe-Shyama to give him the strength to face those problems. And he had
many problems—his voice, his health, the management within ISKCON, other devotees, and
young people like myself who were in trouble. He had to deal with so many—special mridanga
players—all these things. But he was determined, and it made his kirtan deeper and more
powerful.

Yamuna: I never really met [Aindra Prabhu]. But you know I must say there is a kind of
interesting parallel with Prabhupada and Vrindavan. I was supposedly in charge of the Deity
program when it was being established there, and one day we were discussing with Srila
Prabhupada some things before an engineer came to work on the building, Saurabha was also
there. So Prabhupada said where he wanted everything—the garbha grha, the darshan mandap,
his asana, and then the kirtan hall was designed to be where tulasi is now. And Prabhupada said,
“I want twenty-four-hour kirtan [all the time].” At the time (with my logical mind), I was
thinking, “How is this possible?” Because the same challenges that Aindra had in his life
[happen] when you serve in Vrindavan. Anyone who is committed to living in Vrindavan has to
be a very strong person because it requires a tremendous amount of determination to engage in
sadhana without great struggle. You have to be a strong person. I actually prayed to Prabhupada
and the previous Acharyas to “Please send somebody to do this, [laughing] because I can’t figure
out how this is going to happen”; and then Aindra came. So that is a fascinating thing. The
prayers were there, and his destiny was there, or both, and so much more. That is glorious.

Our in-depth discussions with this thoughtful group of devotees covered everything from
recognizing and overcoming the desire for pratistha (honor) in kirtans and other talents, to
understanding the need for more purity and intent in devotional practices. They left Yamuna,
Srutirupa and I inspired, enlivened and, most of all, hopeful for the future of our Krishna
Consciousness Movement. And thus began our Ocean of Time Club—not limited by time, space
or body, but everlasting, as pure and sweet sanga always is. (The transcripts of many of our
discussions will be available for viewing on the Unalloyed website).

Srutirupa, Radhika, Madhava, Ananta, Nadia and Dinatarini

Jahnavi on the beach in Melbourne

Afterward, Yamuna wrote to the Milkmaids, who were devastated that their tickets had
been non-refundable, thereby forcing them to leave before our Ocean of Time event:

Here we were nonstop busy with guests and sanga in November. The last three days of
November were especially over-the-top, relishing high-quality, rich and deep kirtans and katha
with six special guests—our Godsister Srutirupa (who for a month in advance arranged for, and
then paid for, the transport to get all the visitors here, and then paid for nearby beachfront
accommodations for four guests); kirtaniyas and harmonium players Madhava and Radhika;
heavenly-voiced UK chanter and fiddler Jahnavi; rock solid, quiet kartal player and chanter
Nadia, from Alachua; and expressive mridanga player and chanter Ananta, also from Alachua.
This was an intimate group of eight devotees who, for three days, experienced a mix of
penetrating and powerfully rich activities—pure and simple kirtan and katha discussions—of
course buttressed with prasadam, japa walks and ocean rejuvination. Ages ranged from 18 to 22,
24, 38, 48, 55, 63 to 70! Just goes to show that intent, eagerness, focus and connection cross all
superficial boundaries of designation, right? Like we have already experienced and established
with our connection at Banabehari Mandir. Kar and Radha were able to listen to our last kirtan,
this past Wednesday night: two-and-a-half hours of pure nectar—a slow, gentle, deep, quiet, but
intensely moving kirtan experience that went to stratospheric levels of nectar. Wish I could have
bottled that and sent it your way post haste.

—EMAIL TO MILKMAIDS, NOV. 30, 2011

“Bhakti is the Crystalline Delineation of Reality” —

Yamuna Devi’s Last Days

Without exception, everyone who either came to our Melbourne Beach ashram, spoke to
Yamuna by phone or exchanged emails with her was stunned by her optimism, enthusiasm to
share all things related to Krishna with others, and her joyful acceptance of the will of the Lord in
her own life. There was no “public” Yamuna and “private” Yamuna. One of her greatest qualities
was her guilelessness, or simplicity. Yamuna was unequivocally “Yamuna”; her natural humility,
graciousness, sincerity, aversion to honor and fame, forgiveness, equanimity, compassion for
others, humor and complete absence of pretentiousness, always genuine, always real.

No need to have any concern if things are going well here; all is good, including all the
challenges the Lord may award. While I am not recuperating health as fast as I had hoped, I am
relishing this opportunity to relish Krishna Consciousness more daily…. I had hoped to be well
enough by now to engage in a steady writing schedule, but not there yet. Definitely experiencing
ever-increasing moments of deeper gratitude with each passing day, drinking in the merciful
sanga of Their Lordships Radha-Banabehari and Their merciful servants. Just this morning I read
these words in a letter Srila Prabhupada sent to Jayapataka [Swami] in 1971 that jumped out at
me: “Together we have to push on this Krishna Consciousness Movement for a revolutionary
change all over the world. It is not our manufactured movement, but it was ordered by Lord Sri
Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, and we are simply carriers of His shoes. Let us do our duty carefully so
that our life may be successful, although our attempts are not as great as they should have been.”
Always praying to be even an insignificant element.

—EMAIL TO MUKUNDA DAS AND RADHA DEVI, NOV. 17, 2011

Giriraja Swami: My conversations with her were quite frequent…. Naturally, I was
concerned about her medical condition, and so we would be talking about it, and somehow or
other, without my knowing how she got there, she would be talking about Krishna and Srila
Prabhupada and the Holy Name, and how wonderful devotees are, and how merciful Prabhupada
and Krishna are, and how grateful she is. Quite the opposite of what I often experience with
myself: I begin talking about Krishna and then—I don’t know how it happens—somehow I’m
talking about my body. With her, I would bring up her body—how she was doing and if I could
help in any way—and without my knowing how, suddenly we were talking about Krishna and
Prabhupada and the Holy Name and the prayers of the Acharyas and the wonderful service of the
other devotees, and just how grateful she was for what she had been given.

On the evening of December 12, Yamuna had another heart “episode.” Each time these
occurred, I would ask if she wanted to go to the hospital, and she would adamantly refuse. “Don’t
take me anywhere. I want to be here.” We again went into the temple room, and Yamuna lay
down before Their Lordships Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari. As I sat chanting softly and holding her
hand, it appeared she lost consciousness. Then, spontaneously and seemingly from an
unconscious state, she began singing, “Gauranga bolite habe, pulaka-sarira, hari hari bolite
nayane ba’be nira … ” This song of Narottama das Thakur was not frequently sung in our
ashram, but that evening, Yamuna feelingly sang it from beginning to end, tears pouring from her
eyes. Later, I read from Srila Prabhupada’s purport to this prayer in 1969:

And as soon as I shall chant “Hari Hari,” or “Hare Krishna,” there will be pouring down
of tears from my eyes. Hari hari bolite nayane ba’be nira. Nira means water. Similarly,
Chaitanya Mahaprabhu also said that “When will that day come?” We should simply aspire. But
if, by Krishna’s grace, that stage we can reach, these symptoms will come automatically.

—GAURANGA BOLITE PURPORT, 1969

Malati devi with Dinatarini and Yamuna

The next day, our Godsister Malati devi came for a visit, and Yamuna was her usual
gracious and ebullient self. We had a nice visit, and Yamuna never mentioned the episode of the
night before. The following day, our dear young friends Kartamasa and Radhakunda arrived from
Canada—they had not planned to visit then, but felt “dragged” to be here:

Kartamasa das: We were completely caught up in work-life and didn’t think it would be
possible or economical for us to visit. Then, during one phone call, Yamuna was very stern with
me, speaking in the serious tone of voice she used when trying to get a point across. I was giving
excuses why it would be difficult to come, and she was saying, “Mmm, hmmm…” waiting for
me to get to a real reason. So finally I said, “It’s a money thing.” And then she said with such
disgust, “Oh, it’s a MONEY thing.” Instantly, things snapped into perspective for me, and I
immediately pledged we would come. And, of course, this was all Krishna’s (and Yamuna’s)
arrangement. The Krishna Magic.

Kartamasa and Radhakunda arrived on Radha-Banabehari’s Appearance Day. Yamuna

had arranged a special altar where Krishna and Balarama and Radha-Banabehari were together.
Devotees had sent massive amounts of flowers and beautiful gifts, along with personal prayers.

Radhakunda devi: Throughout the whole evening, Yamuna was ecstatic to see the
Deities together. She would constantly say things like, “This is too much,” or “What a feast for
the eyes!” She said after the kirtan that although she usually closes her eyes during kirtan, that
night she couldn’t take her eyes off the Deities. At some point, we made a Skype call to the
school, and all the children got to see the Deities and the altar and talk with Yamuna. It was very
sweet and very special, because it was the last time they would see her and speak to her.

Yamuna asked us what we would like to read and talk about during our time there. She
said we would call our time together our special “Festival Week,” and whatever we did would be
wonderful and like a festival.

Kartamasa had casually mentioned that our dear friend Nimesh (Neem) from Canada had
sent a check for Radha-Banabehari, which he had placed on the altar.

Radhakunda devi: Before we went home for the night, Dina saw Neem’s check on the
altar when she put the Deities to rest. It was wonderful to see their reactions to it. Dina couldn’t
believe what was on it—she thought she was seeing it wrong, and her first reaction was, “We
can’t accept this!” They were both totally stunned and full of love and gratitude. Yamuna said
Neem would get big credits in his spiritual bank account for giving so much to Krishna. They
were saying it was the top of an incredible day—the icing on the cake. Then Dina called Neem
and gave the phone to Yamuna. Yamuna talked to him for a couple of minutes, saying how
stunned she was, and how he needed to get on a plane right now and get down there. She got a
little emotional at one point.

Neem—My dear Lord, you are something. Mr. Background; Mr. Quiet; Mr.
Understatement; and yesterday, Mr. Present Overwhelm. What you have done in the service of
Radha-Banabehari…. I feel fortunate to have witnessed this service in this lifetime, because I
know that no matter how imperfect Their direct aspiring servants are, Their Lordships view it
all—every action and every intent. You cannot even fathom your good fortune, as neither can I,
but know it to be a reality. Still I say, with straw in teeth, thank you from us both. The connection
we share at the feet of Their Lordships is far bigger than words.

—EMAIL TO NIMESH, DEC. 15, 2011

As Banabehari’s Appearance Day coincided with the Disappearance observance of Srila

Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur, Yamuna also sent out the “precarious current of your life”
letter from 1926 to friends around the world. Some of the replies were profound and rich with
bhakti, and Yamuna was especially enlivened to hear such depth of introspection and realization
from the youth:

I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for sending me this letter that has
not only given me inspiration, but has especially helped me to see certain things recently
troubling me in my life more clearly. Since the annual Radhadesh Mellows festival here in
January (the twenty-four-hour kirtan weekend) has become a rather prominent continental
festival, I feel as if my pride for being the organizer keeps on wanting to grow and derange me in
my true goal as a servant. [Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati] Thakur expresses in his letter this very
same problem: “the effects of the poisonous fruit of pratistha [honor and recognition].” This
desire for pratistha is what troubles me. However, when I go deep into my heart, I know that my
only desire to organize this event comes from the minimal love I have for the Holy Name, Sri Sri
Radha-Gopinatha, and Their many devotees. As written in the letter, these three different aspects
of love for Krishna [Krishna seva, karsna seva, sri nama kirtan] are what is most essential within
our spiritual life that will always keep us from being “overpowered by the various allurements of
maya.” It really gives me incredible hope and faith that in the end that I seem to be doing the
right thing. More and more I realize that my ultimate desire is to serve the Holy Name, therefore
when I am told that by doing so I also serve all the other purposes, I can only feel as if I am
slowly, but surely, advancing on the right path. This parcel of knowledge means a lot to me.

—EMAIL FROM MANU DAS, DEC. 17, 2011

Dear Manu, … It is interesting to note that the points you bring up about the fear of
pratistha and its insidious effects were discussed at length by some dedicated and serious
kirtaniyas who have recently visited us, i.e., Amala Harinama, Jahnavi, Madhava, and now, Kar
and Radha. Each of them understands the dangers of pratistha in hindering or delaying the
positive and joyful effects of chanting the Holy Name, and each expressed the desire to be
vigilant and watchful of its subtle influence. We reminded them to please be patient with this
process, because this desire for recognition in any of its myriad manifestations is the principal
hallmark of our aversion to Krishna, and we have cultivated this aversion since time unknown.
The best thing we can do is to express within the sincere desire for purity and be alert in all of our
services for the pernicious effects of pratistha. When it does rear its unwanted head, we can
remove it like an unwanted guest until the next time it revisits. You will find that the more you
train yourself in this vigilance and the more you engage in sincere service, the visitations of
pratistha will occur less and less.

—EMAIL TO MANU, DEC. 18, 2011

“Oh Lead, Lead Me on to Vrindavan” — Yamuna’s Glorious

Passing

That Yamuna’s final few days were spent in the company of our dear young friends
Kartamasa and Radhakunda seemed providential. As we had evidenced so much “synchronicity”
in our lives from the very beginning of our association, this seemed like the natural
denouement—a heart-wrenching yet powerful closure, and one seen by each of us as Krishna’s
Magic. They had not planned on coming, yet they came; and those final days were filled with
glorious kirtans, katha, prasadam and loving association. Yamuna was, as ever, blissful, even
carefree—as though she again inhabited the body of a young dancer.

Radhakunda devi: At one point in the visit, Yamuna commented how our relationship
got so much closer and deeper with every passing day. But I think she said that most of the days
we spent time with her.

On that last evening, Yamuna asked Radhakunda to lead kirtan. Radha-kunda, though
abundant with many wonderful qualities, was always reluctant to sing, but Yamuna loved her
chanting and urged her on. I can still hear that sweet kirtan and melody when I reflect on it.

When they left to return to their motel, Yamuna mentioned that she felt pain in her neck
and chest. I sat with her and quietly chanted japa. Each time an “episode” occurred, Yamuna
would repeatedly express her gratitude for our lives together, our service to Srila Prabhupada, and
what she perceived as my service to her. I would answer that it is me who had the great fortune of
her association, and it would go on like that. At some point, she said she felt a little better. On
reflection, I believe it was her way of wanting to be alone with Prabhupada and Krishna—and she
asked me to go to my room. I checked on her again at 2:00 AM, and she was still sitting in the
chair, chanting quietly. When I checked again at 6:00 AM, she had positioned herself
horizontally on the bed, fully dressed, with her hand still clutching her beads and a Mona Lisa
smile on her face. She had passed on in exactly the way she had desired.

I cannot express the gratitude I feel for all the devotees who stepped forward to offer
assistance immediately after Yamuna’s passing. Srutirupa, Malati, Nirmala, Devarshi, Rangavati
and, of course, Kartamasa, Radha-kunda and Haribhakti all assisted with the necessary
arrangements. Frankly, I can say with sincerity that I don’t know how I would have dealt with the
tumult surrounding Yamuna’s passing without the unquestioning service, sincerity and
comforting presence of these and other devotees.

The first phone call I received came from Nitai das, who passed away himself shortly
after Yamuna. He simply asked to help in any way possible—he would send money; he would
send prasadam; or he and Mandali would come themselves and perform any service. This was
especially moving to me. I told him that Yamuna would have loved his service attitude.

The Letter

Two days after Yamuna passed away, I found a letter she had placed under my pillow.
Although most of it is personal, its very existence made it clear to me that she knew she would
not live more than a few days (I changed my sheets once a week).

Oh! What a journey this has been! Wild, Wonderful—at times Weird; but Oh! the lessons
learned, the obstacles cleared, and yet to be cleared. I believe Prabhupada put you and me
together because he saw that we questioned our internal motivations; we challenged maya’s
attempts to deceive; we helped each other go deeper. What a gift! What a glorious, inconceivable
gift!

We’ve talked about the next phase—the next journey. How many times I’ve prayed
before the Deities this one thing. I recognize my failings, my unlimited faults, but with my
limited faculties and intelligence, I have tried my best to make progress in Krishna
Consciousness. Especially, I have tried to practice and represent what Srila Prabhupada gave to
me—gave to us—pure, unalloyed Krishna Consciousness. So my prayers, a thousand, a hundred
thousand times, have been that if I have done enough, please let me go wherever Srila
Prabhupada is. If he has returned to the Spiritual World, then let me do whatever I can to follow;
but if he has gone somewhere else for preaching and delivering more fortunate souls, then please
let me also go there. That is my only wish.

—FINAL LETTER TO DINATARINI

 Some Reflections on Yamuna’s Last Days

There are so many moving tributes and memories of Yamuna by devotees—some close
friends and associates, some who knew her briefly, some who met her in passing, yet were
profoundly touched by her, and some who only knew her through her chanting, her cookbooks or
through stories of her relationship and intimate exchanges with Srila Prabhupada. These
memories will all be available on the Unalloyed website (www.unalloyed.org), but I’ve included
a few of them here which are representative of Yamuna’s powerful and enduring impact on the
lives of so many:

Nirmala devi: Devarshi and I last visited Yamuna a month or two before her departure in
Melbourne Beach. After Devarshi did some healing work on her, the energy in the room became
very quiet and serene, and Yamuna spoke a little about her health and leaving. My husband and I
both had tears welling up in our eyes, and so did she. She looked at both of us and said, “I’m
ready; I’m ready to go.” Then the tears began flowing, and she said with great strength and
enthusiasm, “I have a bright future; you have a bright future; we all have a bright future.” Those
were some of the last words she spoke to us in person. After this we had to leave and were getting
ready to go, but she called us into her room and we started looking at some old pictures of her
with Srila Prabhupada and the devotees in the beginning days. When I told her that I had not seen
some of them, she began telling us stories, and soon another two hours flew by. Her
remembrances of Srila Prabhupada were so vivid—like it happened yesterday. It was like she had
a photographic memory when it came to His Divine Grace. She would get very excited,
transported, and of course, so would we. Before we departed she would do her famous kavacha,
the three of us standing, locked in a circle with hugs, chanting mantras and respects and an
ending prayer for the well wishes of everyone.

Jahnavi devi: You have the eye for detail, such refinement: coriander—“no stems, leaves
only”; chopping vegetables—“the first thing Srila Prabhupada taught us”; spicing—noticing
every nuance in flavor and texture; nuance in kirtan instrumentation, in dressing Krishna
according to season and mood. Your detail in serving others—night chimes, slippers, a little piece
of cheese inside the tikkis. Your personal love and care for each person who comes through your
door, with a sober face, grabbing them by the hand and bringing them before Radha-Banabehari.
You have a nickname for everyone—JJ, Janbee, Jewel Jahnavi. You love everyone so sincerely,
and we all love you back. You so carefully try to instruct in the mood of whatever Srila
Prabhupada taught you, without any pride or agenda. You freely share the wisdom gathered
through a life of difficulty with such honesty—stories about how you were treated by the early
men of ISKCON….

You appreciate the jewel in everyone; you welcome and engage. Your lake of Vaishnava
jewels speaks of your qualities. You are mischievous, so full of verve and humor, but also with
the capacity to be so grave. Like Srila Prabhupada—one moment charming and the life of the
party, but alone in private, no veil separates you and Krishna—you are right there!

Rasa Mandala devi (Milkmaid): This is something that I will be eternally grateful for.
Tasting this mood of love and simplicity has marked our hearts forever, and though we can still
reach for it, even though with Dina we can taste it again, there is still a gaping emptiness where
your voice would rise and fall, still moments where we listen for the tapping of your whompers,
still times when someone will blissfully puncture the kirtan with a “Haribol!” and we will all be
reminded that it used to be your voice calling out. Dearest Yamuna, though we go on, though we
struggle to still aspire to what you have shown us and allowed us to taste, the loss of your
presence is agonizingly felt. Krishna kirtan will never be the same without your ecstatic remarks
of “Nectar! Too much nectar!” without your protective and powerful personality presiding over
these kirtans, guiding and filling us all with these inexplicable feelings that threaten to burst
through our hearts and spill to every corner of every limb until you have nowhere to put it.
Without you, grasping at what we had with you is so much more difficult. We pray to someday
be able to feel what you felt while lovingly chanting for the Lord; we pray to always live up to
what you have shown us, taught us, and to always keep pride and false ego at bay and chant only
for the pleasure of Krishna.

There are no souls more inconceivably fortunate then ourselves. We do not know what we
have done in past lives or this life to have achieved such a blessing as to have your association
and guidance. The gifts you have left us, the bhakti you gave us, we will strive to give to others,
to do as you did and unconditionally give and give. You had no judgment; there was no one
ineligible for the bhakti you gave. Everyone had access to this ever-flowing outpour of love that
you bestowed. You had such an impact on the youth of our society, such a relationship, because
many of us struggle with the difficulties of pride and ego, many of us are tempted or trapped by
the snares of fame, but you, you have already overcome these obstacles; you are someone we can
look up to, a surviving idol and proof that these things can be overcome—that it is possible to
push it all away and reach for the higher taste, for Krishna. You passed no judgment on those
who had made mistakes; you merely embraced them without reserve, no matter who they were or
what they did. Your upwelling of love and compassion was so deep and pure that whoever was in
your presence felt cared for and sheltered. You once said, “You need to have someone that you
feel will really always protect you, and these great souls, by their very existence, they are shelters
for us all. We just have to find them in more than just words—to find them so it goes into our
being and sustains us.” We had found them—in you. You were our shelter; it was you who
sustained our beings. You were our first Spiritual Master, our guide, our strength, the fan to our
flame. You lovingly cultivated the devotional creepers in all our hearts and kept the weeds at bay;
you showered us with the rain of your devotion, and through your care and attention our creepers
budded and blossomed into love for Krishna, attachment to His Holy Name, and a deeply abiding
affection for serving the Deity and His devotees. You made the young generation feel loved and
protected and gave so many of us a true taste for Krishna through your own pure and potent love.
This was your legacy; you didn’t leave an imprint on the mind, but on the soul. Your ability to
change someone’s life in just the hours or moments they had of your association was
extraordinary…. When we were in your presence, the rest of the world melted away, problems
became insignificant, and all the time in the world was not enough time to have with you. Your
absolute and extraordinarily pure love for Krishna and the devotees was so profound, and your
desire to share it with one and all was so deep, that it leaked into our souls. I don’t grieve for your
absence, which can only bring contentment for you because you are eternally with
Radha-Banabehari and your beloved Srila Prabhupada, but I grieve for myself….

Haripriya devi (Milkmaid): One thing I have been thinking a lot about lately is that we
spent so many years with Yamuna and Dina—practically our whole lives—but in the past three
years, that is when we started to realize how special that was. I remember in the last months
before [Yamuna] left, I would come more and more often. We had been taking them for granted
for so long. But for that whole time, they never instructed us that we should come more
often—like that. It was like they were waiting for us to realize on our own, and to want to come
and to be eager for that association. I felt that they were just waiting for us that whole time. And
now it is so beautiful to see how everyone appreciates them so much. We didn’t think about it so
much before—that when the Vaishnavas leave, that is when you realize how special they are.
And it is like I always feel with Bhaktivinoda bhajans—that Yamuna was so connected to
Bhaktivinoda Thakur. It was actually as though, to her, he was living. And she wanted us to
realize that—that Vaishnavas never die—and she was always with Prabhupada. What we have to
understand now is that Yamuna hasn’t actually left us. She is actually with us now, as we speak.
At this very minute. When she was talking about Prabhupada, she was with Srila Prabhupada. It
was like heart to heart. She transferred Srila Prabhupada into our hearts. That is why it is so clear
to us. She transmitted that knowledge unto us, and now we have to imbibe Yamuna’s mood, just
like she imbibed Prabhupada’s mood. She shared the love that Prabhupada shared with her. And
then she gave us that love. Prabhupada’s Spiritual Master gave him that taste, and he passed it
down to Yamuna, and to all of his disciples. And then she passed it to us. And that was her
greatest gift. And now it is our turn to pass it on. But that is when we actually realize how special
it was—when she leaves. There is no greater gift. Like our last trip to Vrindavan. That was her
last gift to us. She would always tell us, “I will take you to Vrindavan.” We would have never all
of us gone to India if it wasn’t just the way it happened. That was her gift to us. She kept her
word. Krishna Consciousness is not something so easy to comprehend. It is so easy to think of
things in a material perspective. This is how it is, you have to see it, and then it is real. In the
spiritual world, souls are always connected. Like Yamuna is not here, but her presence is here,
and that is a spiritual relationship that never ends. It is so hard to understand that. I was thinking
like Yamuna is actually watching over us, and the more we try to remember and appreciate her
and imbibe her mood, the more she will be pleased.

Kalindi devi (Milkmaid): I don’t know what fortune I got to be able to have Yamuna in
my life, but I will be forever grateful to her. From her I learned how to behave as a proper
Vaishnava; from her I learned how to sing for Krishna, do service for Him and understand Him.
Yamuna was like nectar from a flower that never died. Even now when I think of Yamuna, I feel
her sweetness. Thank you, Yamuna, for being in my life. I would not have been here, if not for
you. Thank you for giving your love so unconditionally. I am forever and ever grateful for your
association. Every day I understand more and more how amazing your presence was. When I try
to sing for Krishna, I think of you, and you bring me to Krishna. Through you I can connect with
Him.

Nitai das: Almost a year ago I was in Mumbai and visited Yamuna in the hospital,
thinking I would only be there for an hour or so. About seven or eight hours later, I left
intoxicated by her presence and deeply grateful that such a great personality has even a spark of
interest in my minute existence. I recollect now this was actually the last time I had a physical
interaction with her, though we would write often, and I had several dreams, even one that I
corresponded with her a few days before she left. It was a dream that I was honoring some kind
of milk sweet item in her presence, and she kept probing me, asking me what the various
ingredients were I could taste that were used to create this dish—like she would do from time to
time when eating with her. It was some kind of exotic sweet rice, one that I will now relish much
more than any sweet rice of this world.
 Preparations for Yamuna’s Immersion Ceremony

During our 1994 pilgrimage to India, Yamuna devi expressed the desire to have her ashes
returned to the Yamuna River after her departure. Because Srila Prabhupada had given her the
name of that most sacred river, and because she had served Srila Prabhupada in Vrindavan,
Yamuna devi always felt an enduring connection with Vraja dhama and the holy Yamuna, and
often referred to Vrindavan as her “home.” It had originally been my intention to travel to India
for an intimate immersion ceremony with a group of Yamuna’s friends and young devotees, but
as word spread, it became apparent that keeping the ceremony “intimate” as Yamuna requested
was unrealistic. There were just so many devotees who felt close to Yamuna and wanted to be
present to experience the sense of closure such a ceremony could effect.

Also, I was initially concerned with the pollution of the Yamuna River—to the degree that
I had even discussed with a senior Godbrother the possibility of having the immersion ceremony
in the Garhwal Himalayas, closer to the Yamuna’s point of origin. But I became convinced that
my vision was materially clouded, and that despite everything, Vrindavan and the sacred Yamuna
are eternally uncontaminated.

Yamuna Devi’s Samadhi Phenomenon

In the meantime, unknown to me, a group of devotees in Vrindavan wanted to honor

Yamuna devi with a samadhi in the beautiful courtyard of the ISKCON goshala. The funds for
the samadhi were provided by Parvati devi, and Dharmatma das asked Srutirupa to request some
of Yamuna’s ashes from me, as well as to discuss samadhi design possibilities.

Dharmatma das: Also, is it possible for you to send me some designs of how you want
the samadhi to look? Then accordingly we will move forward. Her samadhi has to be very, very
beautiful, and we will try our very best to do it.

The moment Srutirupa called me, I was sitting as usual writing at the computer, and my
screensaver appeared, with a picture I had taken in 1994 of the samadhi of Visvanath Cakravarti
Thakur in the Radha-Gokulananda Temple compound. Over the years, Yamuna and I spent many
hours chanting and praying at the samadhis there, and Visvanath Cakravarti Thakur’s was
especially dear to Yamuna. One of her favorite pictures from that pilgrimage was one I took of
her offering obeisances before his samadhi. So when our Godsister Jagattarini devi asked for
funds to refurbish Narottama das and Visvanath Cakravarti Thakurs’ samadhis, Yamuna and I
gave a substantial donation to the project. Later, after the new marble slabs had been carved in
Jaipur for Visvanath Cakravarti Thakur’s samadhi, the project was abandoned due to unforeseen
circumstances, and the intricately-carved marble was left sitting for over fifteen years in the
Radha-Gokulananda compound.

Jagattarini devi: Over the years, I would see the carved stone still sitting there. It was
incredibly remarkable that no one ever took it, because years earlier, thieves had stripped all the
marble decorations off Narottama das Thakur’s samadhi, and that was why we felt an urgent
need to redo that one. But this stone remained. And whenever I went there, when I saw the
pujari, he would shake his head sadly over the refusal and show his feelings clearly about it.
Then the next I heard [from] Parvati that they somehow expertly negotiated what had cost a few
lakhs to complete way back then, and were about to rebuild it for Yamuna. I was so happy to hear
that. I felt we had somehow had some part to play in an offering of service.
 Srutirupa later reported that the Vrindavan devotees were stunned when she called them.
“That design has already been made for Visvanath Cakravarti Thakur and has been sitting in the
compound at Radha-Gokulananda Mandir for all these years!” So this was an astonishing
validation to me that those carved pieces were ultimately meant for Yamuna devi. It is simply
unimaginable that in all that time, no one stole them or used them for the samadhi of another
Vaishnava.

The Samadhi and Immersion Ceremonies of Yamuna Devi

in Vrindavan
 On Saphala Ekadasi, January 8, 2012, which marked the one-year anniversary of
Yamuna’s passing according to the lunar calendar, her glorious samadhi ceremony was held in
Vrindavan attended by many devotees and officiated by Radhanath Swami. Jananivasa Prabhu
performed the sacrifices, and many devotees who came from around the world expressed their
love and appreciation for Yamuna devi, an unalloyed devotee, in stirring tributes over a three-day
period. On the morning of the second day, Yamuna’s immersion ceremony was held at Keshi
Ghat, its famous stairs filled with devotees chanting the Holy Names with great feeling. Many of
them told me afterward that they had never before experienced such an unprecedented outpouring
of love and appreciation and felt greatly fortunate to have been present. Dharmatma das and other
Vrindavan devotees worked tirelessly to gorgeously decorate the Krishna-Balarama Mandir, the
samadhi courtyard and Keshi Ghat, as well as arrange an elaborate prasadam feast and see to the
comforts of the attendees. I thought at the time that had Yamuna herself organized such a
program she could not have been more pleased at the result.
 Yamuna Devi’s Legacy — An Afterword

I initially envisioned this memoir/biography, which became an all-encompassing

engagement, as my personal memorial to Yamuna, the fulfillment of a promise made to her and,
most importantly, a desire to highlight through her devotional journey the exquisite path of
Krishna bhakti and the glorious blessings that accrue to those who dive deeply into its practice.
Two metaphorical sequences, each detailing one of Yamuna’s significant contributions, became
the undercurrent upon which the stream of Yamuna’s story flowed. One was a cooking
metaphor—“Gathering the Ingredients” dovetailed her early life; “Preparing an Offering of
Love” equated with her growing commitment and dedication to Srila Prabhupada and Krishna
Consciousness; and “Giving the Gift of Bhakti to Others” correlated with the multitude of ways
Yamuna influenced others through her unalloyed practice and exemplary presentation.

The other metaphorical sequence was a musical one. Drawing on the concept of
harmonies, I envisioned a single underlying drumbeat corresponding to Yamuna’s unwavering
steadiness and consistency in devotional service. The “symphony” itself consisted of the same
musical movement being repeated again and again, with each repetition incorporating additional
instrumentation. I envisioned the musical movement as the daily regulated practice of devotional
service, and the harmonizing instruments as Yamuna’s embracing of each obstacle or challenge
as an opportunity for spiritual growth. Initially a melody is played with a single flute, and then
another instrument harmonizes with it, then others are seamlessly incorporated until an entire
symphony plays the same musical movement, yet with such poignancy and harmony that its
impact on the hearer is wondrous and extremely profound. This corresponded to the “Miracle
Done” aspect of Yamuna devi’s life—that she moved steadily and harmoniously through life,
learning from the challenges, overcoming its obstacles, joyfully practicing and internalizing
Krishna bhakti and giving it with boundless enthusiasm and compassion to others. This is
Yamuna’s enduring legacy. Whether one hears her voice each day on the Govindam prayers or in
other kirtans and prayers, reads or utilizes her incomparable cookbooks, or hears her deep,
heartfelt philosophical realizations or her entreaties to others to “Just see. Just see,” Yamuna devi
will remain with us always as a living emblem of “The Krishna Magic.”

He reasons ill who tells that Vaishnavas die when thou art living still in sound! The
Vaishnavas die to live, and living try to spread the Holy Name around!

—SARAGRAHI VAISHNAVA, BHAKTIVINODA THAKUR

Appendixes
 Bibliography
A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami. Krishna Consciousness. Copyright 1966 by Happening
Records. CA2210. Vinyl LP.

Adhikari, Vaiyasakidasa. Sri Sri Radha Damodara Vilasa: The Inner Life of Vishnujana
Swami and Jayananda Prabhu. Volume 1. Silver Spring, MD: Sravanam-Kirtanam Press, 1999.

Bali Mardan Das. Journey to the Pacific Rim. USA: William Burke, 1996

Cakravarti, Sri Narahari. Bhakti-ratnakara: The Jewel-filled Ocean of Devotional Service.

Vrindaban, India: Ras Biharilal and Sons, 2006

CBS. Happiness on 2nd Avenue. Film. Directed by Edmund Bert Gerrard. New York:
CBS, 1966.

The Bhaktivedanta Vedabase, version 2002.1. Sandy Ridge, NC, USA: The
Bhaktivedanta Book Trust, 2002.

Goswami, Satsvarupa dasa. Srila Prabhupada-lilamrta, 2nd edition. Grodinge, Sweden:

Bhaktivedanta Book Trust, 2002.

Goswami, Tamal Krishna. Servant of the Servant. Los Angeles, CA: Bhaktivedanta Book
Trust, 1984.

Hari Sauri Dasa. A Transcendental Diary: Travels with His Divine Grace A. C.
Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. Vol. 5. Alachua, FL: HS Books, Lotus Imprints, 1995.

Hayagriva Dasa. The Hare Krishna Explosion: The Birth of Krishna Consciousness in
America, 1966–1969. USA: Palace Press, 1985

Prabhupada, A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami. Back to Godhead: The Magazine of the Hare

Krishna Movement. Los Angeles, CA: Bhaktivedanta Book Trust, 1966-.

Prabhupada, A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami. Bhagavad-gita As It Is. New York, NY: Collier

Books, 1972.

Prabhupada, A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami. Caitanya-caritamrta, 9 volumes. Los Angeles,

CA: Bhaktivedanta Book Trust, 1974.

Prabhupada, A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami. Srimad Bhagavatam, 12 cantos. Los Angeles,

CA: Bhaktivedanta Book Trust, 1988.

Prabhupada, A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami. The Jaladuta Diary. Los Angeles, CA:

Bhaktivedanta Book Trust, 1995.
 Prabhupada, A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami. The Nectar of Devotion. Boston, MA: ISKCON
Press, 1970.

Prabhupada, A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami. The Teachings of Lord Caitanya. Los Angeles,

CA: Bhaktivedanta Book Trust, 1980.

Prabhupada Saraswati Thakur. San Raphael, CA: Mandala Publishing Group, 1997.

Sajjana-tosani (magazine).

Sundarananda Vidyavinoda, comp. Srila Prabhupadera Patravali. Vols. 1-3. Mayapur,

India: Sri Caitanya Matha, 1991.

Thakura, Bhaktivinoda. Jaiva-dharma. Los Angeles, CA: Bhaktivedanta Book Trust,

2003

Wheeler, Howard. Vrindaban Days: Memories of an Indian Holy Town. USA: Palace
Publishing, 1990.
 Please visit the companion website to the book:

WWW.UNALLOYED.ORG

It was Yamuna’s desire that her book be supplemented by multimedia extras. While
hundreds of pictures are included in Yamuna Devi: A Life of Unalloyed Devotion, the companion
website to the book features an extensive audio and video archive, along with remembrances and
tributes collected worldwide. Unalloyed.org also features excerpts from the book, ways you can
contribute towards the Yamuna Devi Legacy Project, and more.

This comprehensive website archive features:

•Audio—Yamuna speaking, singing, kirtans with Yamuna present and songbooks of

Bhaktivinoda Thakur bhajan series

•Video—Yamuna speaking, singing, cooking and historical context videos

 •Remembrances—Written remembrances, audio and video recordings from memorials
and tribute compilations

We encourage everyone to submit any media or remembrances that do not appear on the
website for future inclusion.

All proceeds from the sales of this book go towards funding a school based on how
Yamuna devi shared Krishna Consciousness with others— with enthusiasm, patience,
commitment and joy.

This real education is something Yamuna and I both feel is integral to the future
establishment and success of this Krsna Consciousness movement. Whatever we can do to
facilitate that, we want to do.
 —DINATARINI DEVI

The Situation

Although I have come to this human form

My Lord, I have passed my life uselessly.

I did not care to serve Radha and Krishna

And have swallowed poison carelessly.

Hare Krishna comes straight from Krsna-loka,

But with the chanting I have no connection.

Day and night I’m burning in this dark world

Without working to make the correction.

—SRILA PRABHUPADA’S TRANSLATION TO HARI HARI BIPHALE BY

NAROTTAM DAS THAKUR

The Solace

Our solace is the example and wisdom handed down to us by great Vaishnavas such as
Srila Prabhupada and Bhaktivinoda Thakur.

—YAMUNA DEVI

For Thee Thy Sire on High has kept

A store of bliss above,

To end of time, thou art Oh! His—

Who wants but purest love.

O Love! Thy power and spell benign

Now melt my soul to God;

How can my earthly words describe

 That feeling soft and broad?

—SARAGRAHI VAISHNVAVA POEM BY BHAKTIVINODA THAKUR

The Solution

Our challenge is to use that wisdom now—in the living, breathing present—and march
forward, O Saragrahi soul.

—YAMUNA DEVI

I pray to share these things that you have taught me, especially with the younger
generation, now poised on the launching pad, in hopes that they may take these instructions to
heart.

—YAMUNA DEVI, VYASA PUJA OFFERING 2002

The Plan

Our ambition is to open a school based on the simplicity and joy of unalloyed devotional
service, as showcased in this book, unencumbered by other pursuits.

The focus would be on giving students the tools and the taste for Krishna Consciousness.
The tools refer to having enough knowledge of the Absolute Truth to navigate their way through
the material world without being flustered or distracted from the goal.
 We hope that students learn to see every activity, field of knowledge, resource or
relationship as an ingredient for service to the Supreme Lord, thereby identifying themselves as
Vaishnavas throughout their lives.

The taste refers to gaining real affection for the Supreme Lord, by establishing a personal
loving relationship with Him through engaging in the nine processes of devotional service. This
taste leaves them without an appetite for other flavors of the world.

The medium for conveying this will be the lives, examples, songs and writings of the
previous Acharyas, along with the writings and words of Yamuna devi herself. Like Yamuna
devi, we firmly believe the Vaishnava saints are always accessible and eager to give their mercy
to those who turn to them.
 The Future

Yamuna and Dinatarini’s own beautiful and glorious Deities, Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari,
will preside over the school and be the recipients of our humble attempts in practicing devotional
service.

Also used to inspire the students will be the collected sacred articles belonging to Srila
Prabhupada and our previous Acharyas, which Yamuna and Dinatarini devis collected and
preserved for this purpose.

We also hope to publish more books by Yamuna devi, such as her Deity Book and
Cooking for Srila Prabhupada. These would become central to the education scheme as well.

For more information or to contribute to this project, please visit the website:
www.unalloyed.org

Our Goal: Preserve Banabehari Mandir as a monument to Sri Sri

Radha-Banabehari and Their servants Yamuna devi and Dinatarini devi

Banabehari Mandir:

•Conceived, designed and built by Yamuna and Dinatarini.

•Every aspect of it is designed solely for the unalloyed service of Sri Sri
Radha-Banabehari.

•Meticulously designed according to Vastu to maximize spiritual potency.

 •The longest-term residence of Yamuna and Dinatarini devis (12 years).

•The site of dozens of memorable Krishna Conscious programs, events and festivals.

•Never used for any purpose other than unalloyed devotional service.

Proposed Preservation Plans:

•Purchase it from Dinatarini devi so that she can settle in a place that is easier on her
health.

•Preserve it as “Bhakti Kutir” and restore it as much as possible to the way it was when
Yamuna devi and Dinatarini devi resided in it.

•Maintain it with the same care and attention it received when it was the primary
residence of Yamuna and Dinatarini devis.

•Renovate and invest in the nearby cabins for guest facility.

•Host retreats at Banabehari Mandir, following in the tradition of those previously held at
Banabehari Mandir, such as Bhaktivinoda bhajans, cooking for Srila Prabhupada, and more.

•Hold (at least seasonally) daily morning programs at Banabehari Mandir, which affected
so many.

•Respect it as the default home of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari, and be prepared to host
Their service once again if They so desire.

For more information about this endeavor, please visit the website: www.unalloyed.org
 Expanded
Table of Contents

Part Two: Offering the Gift of Bhakti to Others

CHAPTER 8: A Change of Heart, Vrindavan, 1973–1974

Parikrama with Srila Prabhupada in Vrindavan

1973 — A Year of Rising Turmoil

Bombay and the Second Cross Maidan Pandal

Yamuna Devi’s Travels Outside of Vrindavan

The Yuvaraj of Alwar — An Inspiration and Well-Wishing Friend

The Tamal Tree in the Krishna-Balarama Temple

“Srimati Radharani Must be Dancing” — Changes in Deity Concepts

The Deities of the Krishna-Balarama Mandir

Yamuna’s Journal Notes for the Vrindavan Deities

An Unusual Role for a Woman

Yamuna’s Increasing Fear of Displeasing Srila Prabhupada

Yamuna Begins Serving Srila Prabhupada in Separation

“You’ve Left Krishna Sitting on the Fence Post” — A Lesson for All Students

1974 — Yamuna’s Final Year on the Krishna-Balarama Project

The Opening of the Krishna-Balarama Temple is Again Delayed

Yamuna’s Cooking Service for Srila Prabhupada at Raman Reti

Srila Prabhupada’s Chapati Chastisement

“This Temple Must be Opened by Janmastami” — An Impossible Task

To Live and Serve on a Construction Site

The Krishna-Balarama Temple Does Not Open on Janmastami

“My Illness is Because the Leaders Are Not Strictly Following”

Srila Prabhupada’s Instruction’s to Yamuna on Cleanliness — The Black Floor Debacle

A Lesson on Waste

The Stapler Story — “You Have Not Cleaned My Rooms Today?”

Yamuna Leaves Vrindavan but Keeps Vrindavan in Her Heart

Vrindavan is in Your Heart

Appreciation of Vrindavan from Yamuna’s Journal

A Letter Never Sent

CHAPTER 9: The Blessings of Guru and Krishna Affirmed, Oregon, 1975–1978

A Humble Ashram in Southern Oregon

Bimala the Wonder Cow

A Peaceful Yet Conflicted Span of Time

June 1975 — Miracle Done — The Mercy of His Divine Grace

“Association Can Be Two or Two Hundred”

Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari Come to Southern Oregon

The Oregon Ashram Changes Shape

The Installation Ceremony of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari

“You Must Know that I am Always With You” — 1976

There is No Gift Greater Than Giving Krishna to Others

“Just as You are Always Thinking of Me, I am Thinking of You”

“More Blessed than Heaven, Sweeter than May”

“I Have Taught You Everything; Now You Teach Others”

Yamuna’s Last Meeting with Srila Prabhupada in India — October 1976

The Land, the Cow and the Deities — 1977

 The Spiritual Master Lives Forever by His Divine Instructions — Srila Prabhupada’s
Departure

CHAPTER 10: Guru Vani — The Decade of Differing Interpretations, 1980’s

Disharmony Enters Banabehari’s Ashram with the Title “Guru”

Banabehari Ashram’s Itinerant Travels Begin — England, August 1979 – April 1983

Zoned Out — An Invitation to England

A Warm Welcome in England

The Unforgettable Women of ISKCON in the United Kingdom

Meadow Cottage — An Ashram in Hertfordshire

“My Dear Lord, What are You Trying to Teach Us?”

1982 — The BBT and Lord Krishna’s Cuisine, Los Angeles and Three Rivers, California

Banabehari’s Servants Return to England

1983 — Deja-vu — A Remembrance of Things Past and a Future Forewarned

The Wonderful Resilient Devotees of the United Kingdom

Trewidden House — A Cascade of Joys and Sorrows

Some Special Memories of Trewidden House

New Changes in Directions, Dimensions and Diversions

“My Dear Lord, What are You Trying to Teach Us?” — Revisited

Chaitanya College and Our Final Goodbyes

CHAPTER 11: The Splendid Odyssey of Lord Krishna’s Cuisine, 1980’s–1990’s

A Needed Respite in Key West, Florida — May 1984 to September 1985

Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari’s Simhasana

A Publisher Takes on Lord Krishna’s Cuisine

Banabehari Ashram Moves Again

Into the Fire — New Vrindavan — October 1985

A Strange Timing

The Swanlike Separation of the Milk from the Water

The Finalization and Publication of Lord Krishna’s Cuisine — New York — 1986

Lord Krishna’s Cuisine Creates a Stir in the Food World

The Pulitzer Prize of the Cookbook World — The IACP/Seagram’s Awards

A Close Encounter with the Restaurant Business

Yamuna and the Media — “I am Simply Giving What My Guru Taught Me”

CHAPTER 12: Full Immersion in the Nectarean Ocean, 1990’s

Yamuna’s Table on Cherry Hill Lane — Washington DC — 1990–1993

An East-Meets-West Concept for a Cookbook

A Weighty Issue

Yamuna Promotes the Release of Lord Krishna’s Cuisine in the United Kingdom

The Highly Anticipated Yamuna’s Table is Released in 1992

Yamuna’s Table Wins the James Beard Award

Yamuna’s Disillusion with the Food World —“It Has Become Something Mundane”

Back to Godhead and Lord Krishna’s Cuisine

A Long Pilgrimage in India 1993 – 1994

Mumbai — December 15, 1993

Mangalore and Udupi

Vrindavan Reflections

Jaipur, Udaipur and a Special Darshan at Nathdwara with B. G. Sharma

Mayapur
Jagannath Puri

Mussoorie

A Surprise Visit to the Blissful Poland Yatra

A Final Visit to Paris and Return to the United States

A Generational Harmony in Washington DC

A Fortunate Meeting with Bhakti-tirtha Swami — “We Have Known Each Other Before”

On the Road Again — A Search for Simple Living and High Thinking

CHAPTER 13: Seeing the Krishna Magic at Banabehari Mandir, Saranagati, 1998–2011

The Idealistic Attraction of Saranagati Village in British Columbia

“Who Would Want to Live Here?”

The High Cost of Simple Living

A Joyful Crew Face an Endless Stream of Obstacles

The Surreal Problem of Water or the Lack Thereof

A Moving-In Yajna and Yamuna’s Tree of Gratitude

Yamuna Addresses the GBC in Mayapur on Behalf of Women Devotees

A Sacred Space — The Morning Program at Banabehari Mandir

Kirtaniya Sada Hari h— Connecting with the Youth Through the Holy Name

A Fortuitous Encounter Opens Hearts to the Joy of Kirtan and Sanga

An Invitation from Radhanath Swami to Mumbai and Pune Yatra — January 2001

“You Will Live Ten More Years”

More Blissful Association at the Pune Yatra

Saranagati Village — The Idealism Versus the Concrete Reality of Community Living

Early Saranagati Retreats and Festivals

A Spiritual Warrior — Bhakti-tirtha Swami at Banabehari Mandir

Radhastami

A Blossoming of Bhakti in the Heart — Kartamasa’s Story

Festival for Observing the Appearance Day of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehari

Kartamasa’s Worshipful Deities — Krishna and Balarama

Yamuna’s Health Retreat and Alachua Visit — Summer 2002

Yamuna with Kartamasa and the Youth in Alachua

Churning the Ocean of Bliss — Summer/Fall 2002

Lord Balarama’s Appearance Day Celebration — 2002

Vancouver Rathayatra — 2002

An Inspiration for the Alachua Youth

Markine Bhagavat Dharma — A Soulful Beginning to 2003

A Reminder of Nature’s Fury — The Fire of 2003

Lessons on Srila Prabhupada’s Cooker

Fanning the Flames of Positive Attachment to the Positive Form — 2004

A Memorable Visit with Radhanath Swami and Friends

Adore Ye All the Happy Days — The Bhaktivinoda Bhajans at Banabehari Mandir

Banabehari’s Milkmaids

A Pilgrimage to India and an Unforgettable Wedding

Gitavali — and the Sweetness of Loving Exchanges

Kalyana Kalpa-taru — the Desire Tree of Auspiciousness — 2007

A Virtual Govardhan Parikrama and 32nd Anniversary of Sri Sri Radha-Banabehariji

Krishna Kirtan Jaya Prema Nidhan — 2008

A Revealing Look at Yamuna’s Humility by an Unsolicited Appeal for Financial Aid

 Vyasa Puja in Seattle with Radhanath Swami

Oh! Lead, Lead Me on to Vrindavan — A Life-Changing Pilgrimage with the Youth

“It’s Not a Pilgrimage if There are No Challenges”

The Long-Promised Chowpatty Visit Comes to Pass

“Are you ‘THE’ Yamuna Devi?” — Rishikesh

Govardhan Academy Comes to Saranagati — 2009

Another Blissful Summer of Bhajan, Kirtan and Sanga

Srila Prabhupada’s Disappearance — 2009

Yamuna Devi at the 40th Anniversary of Sri Sri Radha-Londonisvara

A Last Mayapur Pilgrimage

“My Body is Finished, but My Spirit is Soaring” — Saranagati — 2010

Yamuna’s Inspiring Talk on Devotional Life to the Students at Govardhan Academy

Too Much Gitavali Nectar in Mayapur — Let’s Chant it Again

Yamuna’s Saranagati Parrot Festival

“I Don’t Want to be a Burden to Anyone”

CHAPTER 14: Miracle Done — Your Divine and Loving Grace, 2011—Yamuna’s Final
Year

Bhaktivedanta Hospital — “A Humbling Experience”

So Many Well-Wishers

Dina the Doorkeeper Finally Arrives

Yamuna’s Health Prognosis — “She Cannot Return to Saranagati Village”

Yamuna Leaves Bhaktivedanta Hospital after Three Months — “No Words Can Express
My Gratitude”

Among Friends and Well-Wishers in Alachua

Yamuna’s Ideal Ashram is Found — Melbourne Beach — June 2011

Janmastami and Vyasa Puja by the Sea

The Dichotomy of Yamuna’s Heart — Physically Diseased; Spiritually Bountiful

Sinking Into the Ocean of Bhakti with Dear Devotee Guests

The Ocean of Time Club — Krishna Kirtan Jaya Bhakti Vilas

“Bhakti is the Crystalline Delineation of Reality” — Yamuna Devi’s Last Days

“Oh Lead, Lead Me on to Vrindavan” — Yamuna’s Glorious Passing

The Letter

Some Reflections on Yamuna’s Last Days

Preparations for Yamuna’s Immersion Ceremony

Yamuna Devi’s Samadhi Phenomenon

The Samadhi and Immersion Ceremonies of Yamuna Devi in Vrindavan

Yamuna Devi’s Legacy — An Afterword

 Index

108 devotee group, 198

Abhirama das, 95, 142, 145

Aditi, 30

Adore Ye All, 266, 285

Aindra das, 253, 363, 428–429

Akash Ganga, 5, 264

Akuti, 72

Alachua

programs in, 250, 253, 266, 316–317, 422, 424

“Wednesday Night Bhajans” in, 234–235

Yamuna devi in, 204, 251, 253, 316–317, 397, 402–405, 422–424

youth in, 266

Alberta, 212, 215–216

Aldenham, 109, 111, 130

Allahabad, 349

Alwar, 9–10, 45

Amala Harinama, 330, 420, 435

Ambarish Maharaja, 373

Ambika Kalna, 350

Amrita devi, 134–135, 153. See also Rasamrita

Amrita Vani, 304, 318

Anada, 115, 118

Ananda, 342–343, 348, 349, 354

Anand, 11, 37, 41, 415

Anand Niketan, 8, 28–29

Anand, Pooja, 42, 388

Ananga Manjari, 253

Ananta das, 423, 429

anarthas, 230, 424, 426

Ani, 371

Archanam, 371

Art of French Cooking, The, 164

Arundhati dasi, 90

Ashcroft, 207, 212, 267

Ashta-Sakhi Mandir, 15

As Kindred Spirits, 343, 376

Astha Sakhis, 353

Atma Nivedanam, 373

Aunt Edna, 59

Austria, 51

Back to Godhead, 15, 37, 50, 81, 135, 179, 186, 190, 285

Bada Haridas, 253–254, 270, 287, 302–303

Bailin, Iris, 162–163

Baird, David, 117, 159

 Bajoria, Mr. C. L., 89–91

Bala Books, 145, 153

Bala Gopal devi, 269, 296, 326–327

Bala Krishna das, 211, 217–218, 235, 266, 366

Balarama, 12, 14, 15, 18, 24, 35, 38, 46, 191, 239, 249, 254, 255, 257, 258, 259, 260, 261,
262, 265, 315, 335, 338, 417, 432

Banabehari Milkmaids, 225, 289, 298, 304, 309–310, 318, 336, 338, 365, 367, 369, 371,
373, 374, 422–423, 429, 430. See also Gopal Nandini devi; Haripriya devi; Kalavati devi; Kalindi
devi; Rasa Mandala devi

BBT, 74, 126, 127–129, 145, 205

Beatles, 156, 168, 177–178, 198, 337. See also Harrison, George; Lennon, John

Bengal, 101–102, 160, 346

Bengali, 105, 301, 306

Berkhamsted, 111, 115, 117, 119, 122–126, 130

Berkshire, 130

Bhadra, 253

Bhadra Priya), 30

Bhagatji, 69

Bhagavad-gita, 48, 87, 296, 363, 382, 388, 412

Bhagavan das, 47, 129, 132, 133, 135–137

Bhagavatam. See Srimad-Bhagavatam

Bhagavati devi, 191

Bhajahari, 137

bhakti, 9, 54, 58, 74, 100–102, 120, 179, 198, 210, 241, 246, 268, 270, 276, 280, 289,
296, 308, 312, 360, 398, 419, 430, 434, 439

Bhakti-caru Swami, 97, 200

Bhakti Kutir, 190, 212, 275

Bhakti-marg Swami, 282

Bhaktirasa, 219

Bhakti-ratnakara, 420

Bhaktisiddhanta Road, 347

Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur

Anand das, cooking of, for, 41, 415

appearance celebration of, 190–191

desire of, 59

disappearance of, 72, 102–103, 207, 247–248, 256, 310, 348, 434

favorite dishes of, 348

murti of, 15, 18, 191

on detachment, 108–109, 124

on difficulties, 124

on diksha birth, 278

on management of Gaudiya Math, 100

on Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur, 101–102

on the Holy Name, 124

Srila Prabhupada on, 203, 248

temple of, 16

writings of, 108–109, 225, 301, 318, 424–425, 434

Yamuna devi on, 278–279, 316, 434

Bhakti-tirtha Swami, 199–201, 203–205, 237, 244–245, 331, 354, 402

 Bhaktivedanta Hospital, 238, 332, 361, 376–379, 382–387, 389, 397–398, 400–401, 404,
409–410, 418

Bhaktivedanta Manor, 109, 111, 116–117, 122–123, 131, 193, 206, 343, 349

Bhaktivinoda Thakur

appearance day of, 411

autobiography of, 364

Bhakti Kutir of, 190

birthplace of, 347

connection of Yamuna devi to, 441

Deity worship standards of, 188

disappearance day of, 308

on departed Vaishnavas, 447

prayers and songs of, 105, 124, 142–143, 199, 231, 255, 285, 286–287, 289, 297,
304–307, 311, 312, 317, 336, 338, 354–355, 357, 372–373, 397

residence of, 350, 356

reviving Vaishnava dharma by, 101

Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati on, 101–102

writings of, 100–101, 280, 304

Yamuna devi on, 279, 286, 325

bhakti-yoga, 298, 325, 333, 397

Bharadraja das, 18, 35

Bhava, 366

Bhavananda das, 28

Bhavatarini, 186

Bhavatarini. See Pishima

Bhavatarini dasi, 227, 258, 368, 370

Bhumadeva, 137

Bill, 59. See also Aunt Edna

Bimala, 60–62, 72, 76–77, 91, 92–93, 95, 106, 110, 128

Bimala II, 117

Birnagar, 347

Black Madonna of Częstochowa, 196

Blue Lotus guest cabin, 276, 291, 300

Body, Mind, Spirit magazine, 175

Bolitho, Edward, 134

Bolitho, Simon, 133

Bolo, 110, 128

Bombay, 4, 5, 13, 16, 28, 29, 51, 180, 181, 353

Bombay pandal, 4, 5

Bon Appetit magazine, 164, 168

book distribution, 107, 342, 358

Boston Globe, 176

Boston Harbor, 268

Brahma, 212

Brahmananda, 47, 248

British Columbia, 207, 210–211, 240, 270, 331, 397

B. R. Sridhar Maharaja, 126

BTG. See Back to Godhead

 Bury Place temple, 342

Bus Party tour, 319–320, 338

B. V. Narayana Maharaja, 228, 242

Caitanya-caritamrta, 142–143, 189, 193, 257, 276, 281, 292, 334, 338, 363, 425

Calcutta, 89–90, 94, 187–188

California, 30, 38, 79, 110, 126, 128–129, 301, 303

calligraphy, 252, 270, 290

Campanella, Joan, 156, 159, 177. See also Yamuna devi

Canada, 165, 211, 268, 274, 277, 346, 356, 366, 383–384, 389, 395–396, 405, 407, 411,
432, 433

Capitol Hill, 200

Carl, Bhakta, 230

Catholic, 59, 194, 334

Chaitanya Chandamrta, 101

Chaitanya College, 125, 130, 137

Chaitanya, Lord

mercy of, 270–271, 350

message and desire of, 25, 102, 108

on prasadam, 188–189

pastime of, at Srivas Thakur’s home, 6

Rathayatra kirtans of, 281

room of, at Gambhira, 189

Srila Prabhupada on, 382, 431–432

Vasudeva Gosh, prayer by, to, 270

Vrindavan pastimes of, 2–3

Yamuna devi, fixation of, on, 276

Yamuna devi on, 188–189, 431

Chaitanya Math, 348, 350, 351

Chanakya Pandit, 5–6

Chandan Yatra, 79, 96–97

Chandra, Dr., 7

Charing Cross Road, 172

Chaupattnaik, Mr., 188–190

Chaya, 368, 372, 375

Cherry Hill Lane, 170

Chicago Tribune, 156

Child, Julia, 161–162, 164. See also Art of French Cooking, The

China, 296

Chowpatty, 236, 294, 296, 330, 332, 402

Chronicle Books, 199

Chronicle cookbook, 206. See also Vegetarian Table: India, The

Church Farm House, 111, 119, 125

Claiborne, Craig, 161, 164

Cleveland Clinic, 418

Cleveland Plain Dealer, 162–163, 177

Cloud End, 192

Collins, Wilkie, 115

 Conkel, Dr., 91

Conway Hall lecture, 341

cooking classes, 134, 176, 270, 290, 335

Cook’s magazine, 164, 168

Cornwall, 130, 133–135

Corp of Drums, 134

Croome Court. See Chaitanya College

Cross Maidan. See Bombay pandal

Cruise, Tom, 192

Częstochowa, 196

Dadhiharta, 370

Dallas, 111

Dalmia Trust, 16

Damodarastakam, 373

Damodar Priya, 372

Dasyam, 372

Dauji temple, 182

Dayalu, 248

Dean, 59. See also Aunt Edna

De Gustibus, 176

Deity Book, 11, 17, 271

Deity worship, 11, 15, 17, 30, 92, 105, 116, 123, 130, 249–251, 255-256, 277, 288, 315,
371
 Delhi, 7–9, 14, 19, 23, 27–30, 40, 51, 54, 180, 283, 285, 333, 358

Delhi pandal, 7, 28, 111

Detroit, 84, 203

Devahuti, 367, 371, 373

Devananda Swami, 5

Devarshi, 251–252, 254, 297, 298, 397, 407, 419–420, 436, 438

Dhananjaya das, 296, 326

Dharmatma das, 443–444

Dickens, Charles, 115

Dinabandhu das, 72

Dogwood, 41

Dorney Cottage, 130

Draupadi, 108

Dutton, E. P., 104, 147, 154, 164, 176

Dwarakadish das, Dr., 379, 383, 386–387, 389–390, 398, 399, 419

Ekadasi, 12, 246. See also Saphala Ekadasi

Ekavira das, 352, 354

Eli, Bhakta, 267–268, 280, 288. See also Nitai das

England, 51, 75, 81, 108–111, 113, 115–116, 119–120, 124–126, 128–132, 136–137, 156,
158–159, 172, 187, 193, 196, 219, 236, 275, 326, 345–346, 409

envy, 31–32, 121

Ermenonville chateau, 136

Esselstyn, Dr., 418

 etiquette, 21–22, 25–27, 191, 200, 275, 328, 352, 396

Eton College, 131

Eugene, 79–80

Fabricant, Florence, 163

Florida, 53, 110, 142, 205, 250, 251, 283, 297, 299, 304, 320, 326, 383, 397, 400,
402–403, 405, 407–410

Fogal Ashram, 34–35

Following Srila Prabhupada, 111

Foyles’ Bookstore, 172

France, 136, 196, 390

Franey, Pierre, 161–162

Frederick Street, 362

Gambhira, 189–190

Gandhi, Indira, 9, 11, 24

Ganga, 339, 350

Gangamayi dasi, 4, 115, 118

Garhwal Himalayas, 191, 442

Garuda das, 167

Gateway of Srinathji. See Nathdwara

Gaudiya Math, 100, 102–103, 225

Gauranga Bolite, 350, 431–432

Gauranga Kishore, 250, 259, 266

Gauranga Tumi More, 270–271

Gaurangi devi, 393–394

Gaura-Nitai, 15, 18, 91, 245, 266, 315

Gaura Purnima, 33

Gauravani, 262–263

Gauridas Pandit, 350

Gay Gaura Madhur Sware, 234

GBC, 22, 47, 64, 84, 85, 100, 107, 109, 124, 220, 222–223, 321–324

Georgetown, 170

George Washington University Hospital, 171

Ghanashyam Baba, 269

Ghanashyam, Bhakta, 363, 410–411

Ghanashyam das. See Bhakti-tirtha Swami

Ghosh Thakur das, 242–243, 368

Giri, 371, 375

Girija devi, 243, 370–371, 373

Giriraja Swami

collection of funds by, 19

in Bombay, 5

instructions of, 394

Japa Retreat with, 301–302

on Yamuna devi

and Srila Prabhupada, 35–36, 65, 69

dream of, 230

health discussions with, 431

leaving her body, 383

letter from, 340–341

visit of, to, 38

VIHE classes by, 182

Gita. See Bhagavad-gita

Gitavali, 288, 297, 306, 312, 317, 336, 338, 348, 350, 353, 358, 363–364

Godrumadvipa, 350

Gopal Bhatta Goswami, 372. See also Six Goswamis

Gopal Deity, 184

Gopal Krishna Swami, 283, 358

Gopal Nandini devi, 289, 310, 320, 336–337, 370, 422

Gopasthami, 264–265

Gopimata devi, 119, 132

Gopinatha, 304

gopis, 15, 18, 63

Govardhan Academy, 334–335, 340–341, 361, 365, 368, 374–375, 412

Govardhan (Hill), 2, 309, 327, 338, 350, 377

Govardhan Parikrama, 309, 351

Govardhan Puja, 2–3, 309, 417

Govardhan Retreat, 327

Govardhan shila, 194

Govinda, 250
Govindam prayers, 188, 233, 238, 249, 254, 310, 322, 339, 343, 384, 391, 446

Grants Pass, 60, 74, 76, 92, 93, 94, 104, 110

Greider, Linda, 159

Gunarnava, 43

Guru Carana Padma devi, 118, 137, 275, 342, 349, 403

Guru das, 4–5, 7, 13, 14, 19, 22–26, 33, 40, 43–44, 51, 53, 54, 63, 65, 70–71, 353

Guru Kripa, 2

gurukula, 110, 125, 182, 334, 346

Guru Vandanam prayers, 207

Gurvastakam prayers, 207, 214, 224, 226, 248, 264

Hamburg temple, 13

Hanif, 366

Hansadutta das, 13, 103, 106–107

Hare Krishna Land, 181

Haribhakti, 254, 266, 304, 326, 337, 338, 343, 348, 351, 353, 356, 436

Haribol, 197

Haridas Thakur, 190, 317, 422

Hari Goswami, 17

Hari hari biphale, 264, 360, 424, 427

Harilila devi, 211, 218, 235–236, 266, 310, 367, 371

harinam (sankirtan), 10, 74, 100, 102, 103, 193–196, 342, 425–426

Haripriya devi, 225, 289, 304, 310, 320, 336, 372, 373, 440
Hari Sauri das, 80–81, 84, 89, 347

Hari, Sri, 426

Harrison, George, 27, 111, 117, 178–179, 198

Hawaii, 78–79

Henry VI, King, 131

Herb Companion, 168

Hertfordshire, 114–115, 130

Hippocrates Institute, 251

Hladini devi dasi, 389–390

Holy Name

attraction to, 124

different types of chanting of, 363

glorification of, 297, 299, 301, 303, 357, 378

power of, 9, 319

relationship between the Lord and, 230

taking shelter of, 354

Hungary, 372

Hyderabad, 28

IACP, 160–162, 164–165, 167, 175, 177

IFAST, 200, 205

Imli Tala, 2, 186

Indore, 318

Indradyumna Swami, 194–196

 Indrani devi, 205

Institute for Vaishnava Studies. See IVS

International Association of Culinary Professionals. See IACP

ISKCON goshala, 443

IVS, 167

Jadurani, 81

Jaffrey, Madhur, 158

Jagadatri devi, 116

Jagadish das, 47

Jagannatha, 78, 188–191, 239, 281, 310, 357

Jagannatha Kirtan, 277, 314, 320

Jagannatha Mandir, 188

Jagannatha Puri, 180, 186, 187, 188, 190–191, 195, 368

Jagannathastakam, 281

Jagattarini devi, 443–444

Jagger, Mick, 279

Jahnava Mata, Sri, 327, 350

Jahnavi devi, 275, 319, 342, 348–349, 353, 355, 363–364, 403, 417, 422–423, 428, 429,
435, 438

Jaipur, 4, 7, 13, 15–18, 41, 180, 184–185, 329, 443

Jaisacinandana das (Jai), 213–214, 243, 367, 371

Jaiva Dharma, 102

Jalastita, 137
 James Beard Foundation, 160, 177

Janaki, 60, 172, 214, 269, 283–285, 325, 362, 412–413

Jananivasa das, 196, 352, 444

Janmastami, 22, 24, 25, 39, 40, 41, 42, 45, 325, 413

japa, 68, 90, 149, 178, 194, 225, 227, 228, 240, 243, 273, 296, 301, 310, 312, 314–315,
318–320, 339, 348, 350, 351, 356, 414, 436

Japa Retreat, 301, 303, 318–320

Jayadvaita Swami, 135

Jayanti devi, 335, 368, 370, 375

Jayapataka Swami, 332–333, 402, 430

Jaya Radha Madhava, 223, 262

Jaya Sri Radhe devi, 319

Jayatirtha das, 64–67, 72, 74–75, 81, 83, 109, 111–113, 115–116, 117, 123–126, 129

Jean-Paul. See Jagannatha Kirtan das

Jhulan Yatra, 128

Jitamrita devi, 420

Jitari, 397, 404–405, 407, 420

Jiva Goswami, 74. See also Six Goswamis

Johnson, 389–390

Journal, The, 167

Kabe Habe Bolo Sei Dina Amar, 243

Kafka, Barbara, 164

Kalakantha das, 224, 229, 420

 Kalavati devi (Kava), 229, 289, 305, 310, 320, 336–337, 372, 422

Kalindi devi, 227–228, 289, 292, 298, 304–305, 310, 320, 336, 370, 388, 422, 441

Kaliya, 243

Kali Yuga, 74, 101, 225, 385

Kalyana Kalpa-taru, 280, 288, 301, 304, 306, 308, 317

Kamadhuk devi, 114–115, 119, 121

Kanai Priya das, 358, 375

Kanka, 126

Kapila das, 342–343, 345, 348, 354

Kapoor, Dr. O. B. L., 186

karma, 7, 138, 426

Karnamrita dasi, 259, 262, 267–268

kartals, 8, 105, 119, 234, 248, 254, 264, 265, 308, 336, 337, 353, 370, 372

Kartamasa das (Kar), 316, 317, 366

as headmaster of Govardhan Academy, 335

at Melbourne Beach, 410, 432

choice of melodies by, 287, 306

completing Masters degree in Saranagati, 257

correspondences between Yamuna and, 288, 294, 302–303, 304, 312, 314–317, 326, 334,
345, 350, 365, 374–375, 395, 424

desire for kirtan by, 246–247, 304

feelings of separation of, 410

first kirtan recording of, 248

marriage of, 285

on Balarama’s appearance day, 258–261

on Rathayatra at Saranagati, 281

on Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur, 267, 278, 304

on the morning program at Radha-Banabehari, 229–230, 259–260

on Yamuna devi

encouraging devotees, 255, 262, 267

first meeting with, 232–233

instructions on Deity worship from, 249–250

kirtan style of, 263, 288–289

kirtans with, 286–287, 297, 304, 306–307

qualities of, 247

programs for the youth by, 266, 282

with Yamuna devi in Alachua, 253–257

with Yamuna devi in India, 326, 353

worship of Krishna-Balarama by, 251

Kartika, 4, 328

Karuna Manjari devi, 294, 392

Karunamayi, 372

katha, 117, 180, 288, 340, 345, 425, 429, 430, 436

Kaumadaki devi, 296

Kelly, Christopher, 147

Keshava, 422

Keshi Ghat, 4, 182, 196, 444, 446

 Kevalastakam, 336

Key West, 142–145, 147–148

King, Martin Luther, 205

Kirtanam, 370

Kirtanananda Swami, 148–150

Kirtan Ashram, 296

Kirtaniyah sada harih, 230, 298

Kolkata, 167, 346, 349. See also Calcutta

Krakow, 193–194

Krishnaa devi, 77, 79

Krishna-Balarama, 12, 15, 17, 23, 251, 254, 257–260, 266, 337, 411

Krishna-Balarama Temple, 4–5, 11–12, 14, 15, 16, 17–18, 22, 24, 33, 37, 42, 45, 52, 63,
353, 444

Krishna bhakti, 102, 136, 150, 166, 210, 231, 242, 257, 277, 446

Krishna Chaitanya das (KC), 231, 243, 368

Krishna Chandra das, 236–237, 240, 292–295, 387, 391, 400, 409–410

Krishna das Babaji, 11

Krishnadas Kaviraja Goswami, 339

Krishna Devata devi, 219

Krishna Lila devi, 144

Krishna Magic, 146, 210, 243, 308, 354, 385, 408, 432, 435, 447

Krsna book, 35, 139, 243, 402

Ksirodakashayi Vishnu, 2

Kuladri das, 47–48, 149

Kulangana devi, 121

Kulasekhara das, 245, 340, 367, 368, 370

Kulasekhara, King, 421

Kumba Mela water, 388

Kump, Peter, 160

Kunti, Queen, 428

Kurus, 108

Kutila, 149

Kuvalesaya das, 218, 224, 236

L.A.. See Los Angeles

Laksmi devi, 194

Lala, 372, 375

Lalasamayi, 124

Lalasamayi, 366

Lalita (deity), 18, 353

Lalita, 366

Lalit Prasad, 305

Lennon, John, 187, 341

Letchmore Heath, 130

Leviton, Richard, 165

Lilamrita devi, 235–236, 244, 264, 335, 338, 366, 368, 395, 406, 419–420

Lita, 199

London, 60, 111, 115, 130, 172, 175, 177, 180, 187, 193, 197, 207, 341, 345, 348, 358,
403

Longview, 59

Lord Krishna’s Cuisine

BBT and, 126–129, 145

cost constraints for, 104

design of, 117, 135

finalization and publication of, 153–154

in Back to Godhead, 179

lengthy cooking procedures in, 171

material for, 70, 90

popularity of, 333

promotion of, in the UK, 172

publisher found for, 145–147

Pulitzer Award received for, 160–162, 167, 177

recipe testing and writing for, 62, 89, 93

reviews on, 154–160, 162–165

Lord-Lieutenant of Cornwall. See Bolitho, Edward

Los Angeles, 64–67, 69–70, 75, 78–79, 81–85, 88, 92, 106, 113, 115, 126, 128, 176, 220

Luiza, 368

Madan Mohan Goswami, 26

Madhava, Bhakta, 286–287

Madhava das, 423–424, 427–429, 435

Madhava Mangala devi, 283, 358

Madhavananda das, 402

Madhavendra Puri, 184

Madhusevita, 223

Madhvacarya das, 200

Madira, 7–9, 51

Madras, 17

Mafatlal, Anjali, 237, 293. See also Karuna Manjari devi

Mafatlal House, 237

Mafatlal, Priyavrata, 237

Mafatlal, Radha, 237, 293, 391, 410, 431

Magh Mela, 349

Mahadevia, Kartikeya, 5

mahamantra, 62, 74, 216, 228, 231, 234, 235, 241, 249, 299, 336, 399

Maharani, 311

Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, 333

Mahasringa, 286–287, 368, 373

Mahatma Gandhi Road, 95

Mahidhar, 370

Mahojvala, 367, 370, 373

Maithili devi, 152, 293, 295

Malati devi, 4, 5, 13–14, 283–284, 301, 345, 379, 432, 436

Mamagachi, 350–351, 355

Manasa Deho Geho, 373

 Mandali, 268, 436

Mangalacaranam, 233, 248

mangal arati, 5, 66, 67, 180, 184, 187, 223, 224–225, 227–229, 246, 264, 282, 292, 296,
299, 310, 329, 330, 339, 365

Mangalore, 180–181

Manhattan, 153

Manjuali devi, 66, 75, 109, 111, 113, 115, 117, 124–125, 135

Manorama das (Manu), 319, 435

Mark, Bhakta, 417

Markine Bhagavat Dharma, 267–268

Massachusetts Avenue, 198

Mathura, 9

maya, 48, 94, 307, 314, 359, 425, 428, 434, 437

Mayapur

evening kirtans in, 353–355, 356, 358, 363

Women’s Ministry presentation to GBC in, 220–223

pilgrimage in, 16, 34, 138, 180, 346–359

Srila Prabhupada in, 33, 53

Yamuna devi in, 33, 112, 186, 346–359

Yamuna devi leading kirtan in, 187

Mayapuris, 376

Mayapur TV, 356

Meadow Cottage, 114–115, 119

Medicare, 395–396, 406

 Melbourne Beach, 407, 409–410, 413, 415, 422–423, 430, 438

Memorial Day, 357

Mewars, 184

Mintzer, Amy, 147

Mira, 220–221

Mondakini devi, 137, 196–197, 390

Montreal, 30

Morningstar Ranch, 66

mridanga, 8, 105, 233, 234, 248, 308, 336–337, 353

Mukunda das, 293, 391, 410, 431

Mukunda Goswami, 362

Mumbai, 29, 144, 152, 180, 236–237, 240, 264, 330, 333, 379, 382, 383, 386, 388, 406,
409, 442. See also Bombay

Mussoorie, 180, 191–193

MVT, 296

Nadia devi, 330, 351, 353, 422–423, 429

nagar kirtan, 342

Nama Cintamani devi, 180

Namamrita, 231

Narangi, 368, 372, 375

Narayani devi, 274, 370, 373

Narottama das Thakur, 105, 124, 142, 231, 244, 255, 355, 431, 443–444

Nathdwara, 19, 184, 186

 Nathji, 152, 293, 295

Nectarean Ocean of the Holy Name, 301

Nectar of Devotion, The, 7, 52, 182, 363, 372, 391

Nepal, 28–29, 428

New Dwaraka, 127

New School, 176

New Vrindavan, 110, 148–150, 152, 267

New York, 111, 145, 148, 149, 153, 159, 160, 161, 164, 167, 176, 178, 206, 308, 357,
417

New York Times, 160

Nimesh (Neem), 227, 232, 246, 247, 250, 266, 304, 314, 317, 323, 326, 343, 361, 368,
373, 433–434

Niranjana Swami, 301–303, 386

Nirmala devi, 152, 236, 251–252, 254, 297–299, 397, 404, 407, 419–420, 436, 438

Nitai das, 268–269, 274, 277, 280, 390, 436, 442

Nityananda, Lord, 350

Norma, 59. See also Aunt Edna

Nrsimha Caturdasi, 96–97

Nrsimhadeva, 194, 357

Nrsimha prayers, 254

Nrsinghananda das, 302

Ocean of Time Club, 423, 427, 429

Ojai, 301–303

Omega Academy, 206

 Omega Institute, 176

Oregon, 57, 59, 60, 64, 69, 71, 75–80, 85, 87, 88, 89, 92, 96, 103, 105, 106, 109, 110,
117, 156, 159, 177, 214, 220, 283, 409

Orissa, 78

Pada Sevanam, 371

Padmanabha Goswami, 17

Padukas, 189

Palika (Srila Prabhupada disciple), 28, 30, 64, 70, 79, 81, 84, 90, 115, 126–127

Palika, 236

Panca Tattva, 15

panchakarma, 239

pandas, 188–191

Pandey Murti Kala Kendra, 7, 17–18

Paramatma, 384, 412

parikrama, 2, 309, 341, 350–351, 358, 360

Pariksit, Maharaja, 422

Paris, 196–197

Parrot Festival, 365–374

Partha das, 370

Parvati devi dasi, 443–444

Penguin, 147

Penzance, 125, 130, 133

Pepin, Jacques, 161–162, 164

Pershore, 130

Peter Kump’s Cooking School, 160

Pishima, 2, 13, 42, 48, 89–90, 186, 341, 413–415

Poland, 187, 193–194, 196

Portland, 59, 79–80, 176, 325

Prabhodananda Saraswati, 101

Prabhupadera Patravali, 109

Prabhupada, Srila

anger of, 43–44

compassion of, 27, 35, 68

considerate nature of, 41

encouragement of, 4, 24–25, 316, 357

ill health of, 45–48, 78, 94–95

mercy of, 5, 35, 55, 68, 88, 98, 122, 431

morning walks with, 5

humility of, 3–4

on women, 7

on Yamuna devi, 38, 66, 70–71, 187

teaching by example, 4, 122

uncompromising preaching of, 5–6, 87

with Godbrothers, 11–12

Prabhupada, Srila, cited

on childhood of, 12
on cleaning pots, 36

on following rules and regulations, 46

on rising early, 46

Prabhupada, Srila, quoted

on advancing in Krishna consciousness, 24–25, 382

on Deity worship, 28–29

on detachment and suffering, 107–108

on deviation within the Gaudiya Math, 103

on entering Seva Kunj, 3

on etiquette, 26

on following regulative principles, 63, 65

on following the order of Lord Chaitanya, 431

on intelligence, 49

on learning from babajis, 3

on material attachment, 71

on prayer, 131, 248

on separation, 83, 94

on Srimati Radharani, 13, 16

on Vrindavan in the heart, 54

Pradyumna das, 17

Prahlada, 422

Prahladapriya das (Prahlad), 145–148, 153–154

Pranada, 406

pratistha, 72, 113, 426, 429, 434–435

pravachan, 238

pravesh mandap, 45

Prema-manjari devi, 393

Priya Sakhi, 392

Publishers Weekly, 155, 173

Pulitzer Prize, 160–161

Pune Yatra, 236, 240

Punjab National Bank, 182

Puri. See Jagannatha Puri

Purusha Shukta das, 302

Radhaballabha das, 79, 81–82

Radha-Banabehari

appearance celebration of, 91, 207, 247–249, 309, 348, 432

come to Oregon, 69–70

exquisite worship of, 93, 116, 291

in Bhaktivedanta Manor, 111

in Los Angeles, 83

in Melbourne Beach, 409

in New Vrindavan, 149

in Saranagati, 218

in Three Rivers, 128

installation of, 72
in Washington DC, 148

naming of, by Srila Prabhupada, 72

simhasana for, 144

Yamuna devi on, 250

Radha-Damodara, 329

Radha-Damodara Temple, 3, 13, 26, 28, 37, 40, 186, 268, 296–297

Radha-Giridhari, 340

Radha-Gokulananda, 112, 121–122, 349

Radha-Gokulananda Temple, 443–444

Radha-Gopinatha, 238, 329, 389, 410, 434

Radha-Gopinatha Temple, 29, 236–237, 241–242, 293–295, 330–331, 402

Radha-Govinda (ji), 94–95, 184, 329

Radha-Govinda Mandir, 15, 330

Radha-Krishna, 4, 13, 15, 42, 70, 72, 94–95, 191, 353

Radhakunda devi (Radha)

as teacher at Govardhan Academy, 335

feelings of separation of, 410

letters from Yamuna devi to, 294, 302–303, 326, 345–346, 374–375, 394–395, 424

letter to Yamuna devi from, 319–320

marriage of, 285

on Bhakti-tirtha Swami, 245

on the cornerstone-laying ceremony, 214

on the morning program at Radha-Banabehari, 226–227

on Yamuna devi
affection and sweetness of, 213

appreciativeness of, 213, 219

first interactions with, 213

genuiness of, 213

kirtan by, 263

love and gratitude of, 433

singing lessons by, 231, 243

programs for the youth by, 282

sewing outfits for Krishna-Balarama by, 258

Radha-Londonisvara, 131, 341, 343

Radha-Madhava, 349, 353

Radhanath Swami

and relationship with Yamuna devi, 391

appreciation of, by Yamuna devi, 295, 331–332, 385, 386, 398–399

Bhaktivedanta Hospital and, 332, 383

celebrating Janmastami and Vyasa Puja with, 325

in Saranagati, 283–285, 376–377

lectures of, 265, 269

meeting of Yamuna devi and, 152, 330

on Yamuna devi

appreciation of, 332

nature of, 385–386

powerful talks by, 238

 singing Govindam prayers by, 238

singing of, 333

trust in devotees by, 389

performance of Yamuna devi’s immersion ceremony by, 196, 444

personal example of, 237, 293

Yamuna devi, Pune Yatra invitation to, from, 236

Radha-Parthasarathi, 7

Radhapriya devi, 237, 293, 295, 391, 400, 410

Radha-Raman (deity), 18, 70, 93, 119, 250, 372

Radha Raman (Srila Prabhupada disciple), 2

Radha Raman, 372, 375

Radha-Raman Temple, 17, 250

Radharani, 13, 15–16, 17–18, 38, 66, 105, 118, 119, 245–246, 283, 285, 309, 338–340,
388

Radha-Shyamasundara, 18, 70, 229, 353

Radhastami, 245–246, 338–340

Radha-Vinod, 329

Radha-Vrindavan Chandra, 149

Radhika, Bhaktin, 199

Radhika, 423, 429

Raja, 388–389

Rajasthan, 9, 184

Ramadevi, 111–112, 349

Rama Navami, 45
Raman Reti, 14, 26, 36, 37, 39, 40, 42, 360

Ramesvara das, 82, 84–88, 127, 129

Ramya, 266

Ranadhir das, 128–129

Rangavati devi, 297, 299, 397, 404–406, 420, 436

Rasajna, 301

Rasa kirtan group, 199

Rasa Mandala devi (Rasa), 289, 306, 310, 320, 337, 372, 422, 423, 439

Rasamrita, 134, 368, 372–374

Rasaraja das, 214–216, 244, 257, 310–311, 368, 370, 373, 393

Rathayatra, 128, 262, 270, 281–282, 300, 336, 342

Rave Reviews, 155

Ravindra Svarupa (Srila Prabhupada first disciple), 357

Ravindra Swarup das, 301–302

Reston, 164, 167, 170

Revatinandana, 72, 81

Richman, Phyllis, 163

Rishikesh, 333

Rodgers family, 76–77, 92, 107

Roman Catholic, 194

Romapada Swami, 301–302, 318

Rsi Kumara, 2

rtvik, 242

Rukmini, 373
Rukmini devi (Srila Prabhupada disciple), 18, 30, 126, 223

Rukmini-Dwarakadish, 83

Rupa Goswami, 186. See also Six Goswamis

Rupa Manjari, 399

Rupa Rupesvari devi, 150

Russia, 197

Sacinandana Swami, 279, 288, 301–302, 327

Sacramento Bee, 164

sadhana, 48, 52, 93, 102, 429

Sahni, Julie, 158

Sajjana-toshani, 101, 280

Sakyam, 372

Samanth, Sri Kanu Charan Puja Panda, 188, 190

Samsara prayers. See Gurvastakam prayers

Sanat Kumar, 372

sandesh, 310–311, 373, 378, 416

San Francisco, 24, 79, 176, 192, 409

sannyasa, 28, 53, 59, 70–71, 124–125, 278

Sanskrit, 105, 268, 280, 301, 311

Saphala Ekadasi, 444

Saragrahi Vaishnava, 266–267, 447

Saranagati
building an ashram in, 213–217

community life in, 241–242, 244–245

festivals at, 248, 260–262, 274, 327, 365–376, 376–377

Govardhan Academy in, 334–336

kirtans at, 232–233, 257, 274, 285–286, 306, 317, 336, 363–364

Holy Name retreat in, 242–243

Japa Retreat in, 318, 319

plays at, 300

Rathayatra in, 281–282

winters in, 217, 312, 397

Yamuna devi’s first visit to and impression of, 207, 211–212

Saranagati prayers, 288

Saranagati Rocks, 281, 336

Sarva Mangala devi, 114, 118, 137

Satsvarupa das Goswami, 38, 42

Saurabha das, 14–15, 22, 40, 43–44, 428

Schoellkopf, Henry, 184–185, 198–200, 205–206, 219, 251, 420

Schrader, Donald, 164

Seagram’s Award. See IACP

Seattle, 176, 283, 325

Seva Kunj, 3, 13, 182

Sharma, B. G., 184, 186

Shelter devotee group, 198

Sheraton, Mimi, 162

 Sheth, Visvambhara, 253–254

Shyama, 371, 375

Shyamakunda, 339

Shyamasundara, 2, 5, 54, 79, 283–285, 390

Shyam Kishore, 368, 373

Siddha-bakul, 190

Siksamrta, 205

Siksastakam, 239, 312

Simple Temple, The, 331

Singh, Sri Pratap. See Yuvaraj of Alwar

Sitala, 346–348

Sita-Rama, 9

Six Goswamis, 3, 250, 292, 315

Small Press Journal, 165

smaranam, 318, 370

Soho temple, 131, 342–343, 345

Sonal, Dr., 384

Sravanam, 370

Sridham das, 372, 375

Sri Kama, 137

Srila Prabhupada-lilamrta, 4, 23–24, 42, 44, 47, 118

Srimad-Bhagavatam, 6, 64, 87, 94, 108, 225, 276, 280, 288, 297, 303, 312, 316, 363, 370,
382, 391, 411, 412

Srinathji, 184, 186

 Srivasa, 228

Srivas Thakur, 6

Srutakirti, 13, 47–48

Srutirupa devi, 34, 90, 105–106, 117, 142–144, 407, 413–415, 420, 422–423, 427–429,
436, 443–444

Stansfields, 60, 62, 71, 78, 110

Sthanur, 370

Subala Swami, 3

Subhadra, 191, 239, 310

suddha-bhakti, 101

Sudhama Brahmana, 373

Sudharma, 222

Suka, 370

Sukadeva Goswami, 370

Sukishori, 387

Svalakhita Jivani, 304

Svananda Sukhada Kunja, 350

“Swan of My Mind” prayer, 421

Switzerland, 206

Tamal Krishna Goswami, 5, 40, 53, 66, 86–87, 97, 182, 341

tamal tree, 11–13, 31, 89, 296, 328–329

tapasya, 31, 81

Tastemaker Awards, 160, 163

Teachings of Lord Caitanya, 64

Tejas das, 7, 29, 54

Thakur, Hasmukh, 193

Thakur, Mullick, 94

Thompson River, 211, 275, 346

Three Rivers, 110, 126, 128–130

Tibet, 362

Time magazine, 86

Tirupati, 28

Tittenhurst, 341

Tota Gopinath Mandir, 190

Transcendental Diary, A, 89–90

Tree of Gratitude, 217, 219

Trewidden House, 125, 133–135, 152

Tribhuvanath das, 342

Trilokanath, 370

Trinad api sunicena, 254, 312

Trivikrama Swami, 187, 193–194

tulasi, 13, 234, 299, 371, 373, 375, 429

tulasi puja, 339

Tulasi devi, 75, 371

Tulasi Manjari, 296

tulasi stambha, 12, 213

Tusti devi, 126–127

Udaipur, 19, 180, 184

Udarakirti dasi (Udara), 228, 235–236, 320, 368, 372, 395

Udupi, 180–181

Urvasi devi, 137, 301–302

Uttama, 281, 310, 367–368, 370

Vaishnava Charan das (Vish), 111, 125

Vanamali (Vana), 371, 375

Vancouver, 232, 246, 250, 262, 264, 266, 275, 281, 326, 346, 367, 368

vandanam, 318, 372

vani, 26, 94, 96, 98, 292

Vani (devi), 251–252, 298, 308

vapu, 94, 96, 98

Vastu, 144, 212–213, 268, 299

Vasudeva Datta, 350

Vasudeva Ghosh, 270

Vasudha, Sri, 350

Vegetarian Table: India, The, 199

Vegetarian Times, 168, 175

Venables Valley, 211, 217, 271, 324

Vibhavari Sesa, 304

Vicitravirya das, 112, 137, 345

VIHE classes, 182

Viraha Astaka, 103, 108

Virginia, 167, 180

Visakha, 18

Visakha devi

at Keshi Ghat, 4

editing and introductions of cookbook by, 126–128, 134–135

in New Vrindavan, 148, 153

in Saranagati, 235

on presentation to GBC about the position of women, 222–223

on the Bombay pandal, 6–7

on Yamuna devi

absorption in Srila Prabhupada’s service by, 110

and Bhagavan das, 136–137

appreciation of young devotees by, 118

cleanliness of, 105

cooking corrections from, 95

expert Deity worship of, 105

service mood of, 93

serving devotees in Vrindavan, 34

photos by, 5, 16–17, 77, 92–93, 96, 103–104, 117, 124–125

testing recipes by, 77, 92–93, 95, 103–104

Visalia, 126
Vishaka Priya, 180

Vishnujana, 66

Vishvarupa das, 239, 401

Visvanath Cakravarti Thakur, 105, 443–444

Vraja Kishori devi, 228

Vrajalila, 354

Vrajananda das, 215

Vraja Sevaki devi, 356

Vrindavan

appreciation of, by Yamuna devi, 55

austerities in, 41

commitment to living in, 429

dancing of Srimati Radharani in, 16

Deity worship in, 17, 93, 277

etiquette in, 21–22, 26

kirtan gatherings in, 328, 330, 357

parikrama with Srila Prabhupada in, 2

pilgrimage to, 180, 296, 326

reflections of, by Yamuna devi, 182, 359–360

temple building project in, 23–25, 33, 38, 42–43

Vrindavan das Thakur, 350

Vyasa Puja, 45, 46, 98, 325, 413–414

Vyasa Puja homage, 98, 264

W
 Washington Cathedral, 198, 206

Washington DC, 59, 110, 143, 159, 170, 172, 197–198, 200, 207, 211, 212, 219, 220,
237, 251

Washingtonian Magazine, 165

Washington Post, The, 159, 167, 179, 206

Waters Murray, Kim, 143, 199, 299

Weimer, Jan, 164

Woman in White, The, 115

Women’s Ministry, 222

Worcestershire, 130, 137

Yadubara das, 77, 95–96, 148, 235, 247, 284, 311, 340–341, 368, 372–373

Yami, 366, 368

Yamuna devi

appreciation of devotees by, 118, 227, 240, 252, 295–296, 319, 323, 331, 374–376, 418

artistic talents of, 60, 66, 104–105, 170

at Bhaktivedanta Hospital, 238–240, 332, 379–399

austerity of, 31, 42, 48

Bhaktivinoda Thakur bhajans with, 142, 199, 285–288, 297, 304–305, 306, 317, 336,
338, 353–355, 363–364

challenges of a woman, experienced by, 8, 21–22, 25–27, 52, 58–59, 64

compassion of, 198, 351, 406, 430, 440

considerate nature of, 27

cookbooks by. See Lord Krishna’s Cuisine; Yamuna’s Table; Vegetarian Table: India,
The
 cooking for Srila Prabhupada by, 36, 37, 84, 90

cooking lessons by, 79, 118, 121, 176–177, 178, 290, 335

dedication of, 42, 52–53, 63, 132, 152, 167, 224, 236, 288, 295, 446

Deity worship of, 75, 105, 118, 339

departure from household life by, 53

desire of, to please Srila Prabhupada, 23

determination of, 42, 53, 59, 63, 130, 168, 405

difficulties experienced by, 25–27, 31–32, 34, 41, 48

encouragement of devotees by, 95, 114, 118, 121, 138, 198, 215, 252, 292, 316, 327, 337,
350, 364–365, 393, 412

faith of, 52, 132

final letter to Dinatarini from, 437

first meeting of Dinatarini with, 27, 28

forgiving nature of, 32, 107, 138, 351, 430

genuineness of, 213, 233, 274, 346, 430

glorious passing of, 435–436

graciousness of, 23, 224, 240, 377, 430, 432

gratefulness of, 213, 219, 240, 391, 400, 420, 431, 436

gratitude of, 152, 219, 240, 252, 295, 309, 374–376, 402, 404, 409, 417, 419, 433

hardworking nature of, 35, 216

humility of, 66, 114, 122, 321, 328, 346, 352, 430

humor of, 180, 186, 297, 388, 395, 405, 430

ill health of, 239, 251, 293, 355–356, 360–361, 376–399, 418–436

immersion ceremony of, 444–446

in Alachua, 251–257, 403–409

in Chowpatty, 330–333

in England, 115–126, 130–136, 172, 193, 345, 403–404

in Florida, 251–253

in France, 136–137, 196–197

in Jagannatha Puri, 188–191

in Jaipur, 17–18, 180, 184, 329–330

in Los Angeles, 65–69, 82–88, 126–128

in Mayapur, 33, 138, 180, 186–187, 222–223, 346–357

in Melbourne Beach, 409–436

in Mumbai, 5–7, 180, 236–241, 293–296, 330–332, 382–403

in Mussoorie, 191–193

in New Delhi, 7–8, 19, 28–30, 54, 180, 358

in New Vrindavan, 148–153

in Oregon, 59–110

in Poland, 193–196

in Rishikesh, 333

in Saranagati, 210–379

in Seattle, 325

in Vrindavan, 2–52, 89–90, 180–184, 186, 296–297, 326–330

in Washington DC, 59, 110, 143, 170–179, 197–207

leading kirtan by, 4, 8, 28, 187

learning Deity worship, 17, 93, 250, 277

legacy of, 446–447

letters to Srila Prabhupada from, 23, 54, 63, 64, 96

love of, 276, 433, 438, 439–440

love of, for Srila Prabhupada, 78

meeting with Bhakti-tirtha Swami, 200

meticulousness of, 28, 121–122, 125, 127, 207

nature of, 20, 23, 152, 192, 199, 240, 276, 277, 386, 387, 393

non-enviousness of, 32, 121–122

not wanting to take service, 385–386, 391

on Anand das, 37

on Deity worship, 250

on duty of the disciple, 14

on following Srila Prabhupada’s instructions, 14, 30, 123, 130

on men and women in ISKCON, 22

on offenses to devotees and the spiritual master, 24, 31, 40, 44, 59

on prasadam, 189

on pratistha, 434–435

on serving in separation, 25–26, 98

on spiritual master being the authority, 3

on Srila Prabhupada

and staple gun pastime, 50–51

and the tamal tree, 11–13, 328–329

and Vrindavan Deities, 13–16, 353

at Imli Tala, 2–3

chastisement from, 28–29, 35, 37, 38–39, 49, 51, 74

disappearance of, 340–341

last meeting with, 90

on cleanliness, 49, 50–51, 67

on making chapatis, 38–39

on teaching others, 87–88, 130

on twenty-four hour kirtan, 429

on wastage, 50

relationship with, 39, 63–64, 66, 307, 340–341

teasing pastimes of, 5–6

on taking advantage of the spiritual master’s vapuh, 202–203

on the Holy Names, 9, 55, 299–300, 318–319, 357, 363, 378

on the Zonal Acharya system, 113

on Vrindavan in the heart, 54

on Vrindavan temple construction, 24, 33, 40, 44

openheartedness of, 32, 119

organizational skills of, 19, 58, 80, 376

outreach programs of, 198

positiveness of, 23, 430

prayers by, 55, 131, 168, 179, 263, 286, 378, 388

protection of, by Krishna, 192

reciting prayers by, 108, 124

reserved nature of, 27

sacrifice of, 42

samadhi of, 443–444

sincerity of, 24, 430

singing lessons with, 231

singing voice and style of, 226, 253, 261, 267–268, 308

tact of, 23

talk by, at memorial service of Bhakti-tirtha Swami, 204–205

teaching by example, 292, 320–321, 441

training of devotees by, 121, 327, 335–336

tributes to, 437–442

views of the educational system of, 334

willingness of, to “go,” 382–383, 418, 438

Yamuna River, 2, 35, 37, 193, 196, 296, 442

Yamuna’s Table, 170–173, 175–177

Yogesvara das, 145–147, 153–154, 161–162

Yoginath das (Yogi), 228–229, 243, 281, 320–324, 336, 366

Yuvaraj of Alwar, 9–11

Zonal Acharya, 100, 106, 113, 129, 132, 135–136, 138