FROM:SOIL

TO:SKIN
a meditiation on
belgonging and identity
 FROM SOIL TO SKIN
a meditiation on belonging and idenity

Samira Saidi
 when did you forget how to fly?

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 CONTENTS

ABSTRACT 9
PROLOGUE 15
MY SKIN IS TIRED 27
THE FANTASY OF BLACKNESS
LA BÊTE NOIRE
UNCONDITIONAL BELONGING 55
SEASONS OF BECOMING 67
REMAIN WATER 77
EPILOGUE 83
Or you see. Or you keep. Or you speak. Or you write. Or you James Baldwin ABSTRACT
fight, so that one day everyone will be able to walk the earth as
though they, have “a right to be here.”

About belonging and the small fragments that make you feel
like you have arrived.

Throughout the process of writing, I have lost myself and found

myself many times over. I have lost myself in the chaos of what
it means to be a woman of colour in this contemporary world
and found myself crying in my mother’s arms, who had nothing
but wisdom and love to share. I have lost myself in the search
for a person who was able to give me the strength I needed to
continue writing my stories and found myself surrounded by
beautiful people supporting my every step. Watering my skin
for it to grow the flowers I have cut off with dull kitchen knives
over and over again for so many years. I have lost myself in
writing and found myself not being able to write a single sen-
tence for months. I have lost myself in my past and found myself
writing this book. I have lost myself in the crowded streets of
Accra and found a place I want to call home.

These pages are a personal journey through thoughts and ex-

periences. A meditation crossing realms of poetry, fiction, and
nonfiction. Diving into reassuring thoughts of becoming one-
self. This being said, the concepts and notions in this book are
explored through a subjective lens and are not representative of
all people of colour. Meanwhile, do I acknowledge the privilege
that comes with the ability of composing these pages and shar-
ing them with a bigger audience.

9
11
13
PROLOGUE

I was born in Vienna, Austria at a time when being a person of

colour meant to be born in negation. I was raised with nothing
but love and was lucky enough to be part of my small family
that supported my every breath.

The experience of a mixed race girl in a mixed race family,

in a very white and catholic country, wasn’t always the most
pleasant. My parents had to start fighting a battle the day they
decided to stay together. It was a decision out of love. Nothing
but love. Yet, over the years it has turned into a decision that
has been flamed by its radicalism. It hasn’t always been easy to
share how I, as a mixed race girl, have been treated outside the
home. It indeed required an immense amount of convincing that
the things I have experienced have not been happening in my
dreams but were my everyday reality.

15
 The question of: what does it mean being a person of colour? A
Woman? A Muslim? A daughter of an immigrant? A middle class
brown girl in a rich white country?

You are being taught that your identity is in contrast with ev-
erything that has been told to you. Not only have I never been
enough; I was never the right thing at all. Few people under-
stand, my experience has never been the experience of a white
My mother
woman. Especially in Austria, I have lived the experience of a
could never
black person. I have been put into the corner of a single exis-
understand
tence, a confined category. A place I was pushed into but never
that I am fighting
wanted to settle in.
to exist.
because
My truth about identity has always been built on unstable
she believed
ground. I have made my decisions based on hopes to find ac-
in
knowledgement rather than on how I perceive myself. Figuring
love.
out who I really was has only become a topic in my life once I
My father
left Austria and moved to the Netherlands. A place that seemed
could never
like heaven on earth to me. A place where my skin colour was
understand
celebrated. Where I found people that not only look like me but
that I am fighting
also were also mixed like me. That shared the same struggles.
to exist
The same worries. And the same hopes for the future. Yet, even
because
paradise shows its flaws after living in it for some time.
he believed
that I was
Ever since then, self-reflection has become a significant part of
the best of
my life. I have carefully analysed my behaviour, my respons-
both worlds
es, the way I walk, the way I talk. Even the way my skin turns
I
darker when I am exposed to the sun. I have pulled my skin
could never
back and tried to see what lays underneath all of this. Under-
understand
neath my own insecurities but also underneath the insecurities I
why I had to fight
spark in others.
in the first place.
I asked myself what would happen if I took my race away. What
is left of me? What am I without my physical appearance? My
troubled skin, my curly hair, my dark brown eyes, and my ample
figure? It is difficult to put something aside that seems terribly
superficial, in a world that functions primarily on that very con-
struct. A world that found its purpose in its man made systems.

17
 During my late teenage years, I fell in love with my other half.
With the half that I had been desperately trying to hide and
push behind all the things I thought a woman in central Europe
should be. My blackness, my African heritage, the Ghanaian
traditions I grew up with. I started straightening my hair, dyed
it blond, and wore the clothes I saw the white kids wear. Every
aspect of my controversial being that didn’t seem to fit in West-
ern social norms, I worked so hard to erase.

I still remember the fear that shook my body, the moment my

feet touched Ghanaian ground, thinking about the possible neg-
ative outcome of this trip, that found its purpose in more than
just visiting my family. A trip that should reconnect me with my
other half. The cold sweat that ran down my back while imag-
ining having to stand up for myself without the support of my
my being is political
family. Placing my voice into my hands whilst getting ready to
(and so is my upbringing)
be confronted and hear things I knew I was not yet ready for.
I have been and always will be
Answering the questions I have been unable to answer myself
a pole in a flat landscape
and learning how to find comfort in not pleasing others with my
and for any achievement
existence.
as ordinary as it may seem
I will have flags of pride hung on me
Little did I know that in this place that I came to, to reconnect
because
with my African side, I was further away than ever from my
until this day
own blackness. Once more one part of my identity was singled
people can’t believe
out. Nonetheless, throughout the last few years, I came to un-
that a black girl
derstand that the way I look does not mean that I am not from
is able.
the ground my feet touch.

19
the way I look
is the way
europe
looks like.
the way I look
is the way
africa looks like
too

21
23
25
MY SKIN IS TIRED

Becoming a stranger to your very own body and finding your

existence in its shadow. Watching the body you are refusing to
connect with nourish itself in a cold void, empty of any form of
gratitude. Strong enough to move itself and its shadow through
heavy air in a space filled with its kind. The kind that is
deprived of recognition and appreciation.

A painful journey that starts with the mind not being able to
comprehend the body’s powers, yet. Switching between living
in its shadow and putting yourself into your own skin. Howev-
er, never finding the comfort to stay. To reclaim. To respect. To
consider it your beloved home. Instead manifesting this radical-
ly empty presence in its bones. Internalising emotions of disre-
spect and paralyzing fear from the outside world. Cleansing its
precious skin with the unfiltered hatred that has been projected
onto it.

27
 My skin still gets tired. My hair at times loses its magic, and my
smile often fades. When there is yet another person who ques-
tions my belonging, my origin, or my comfort.

Losing yourself in the chaos of what it means to be a woman of

colour in the contemporary world, with unreasonable expecta-
tions and prejudice put into place, set up for failure. A system
created leading to self-doubt and endless self-destruction that
leaves one in the pursuit of reassurance from the outside world.

Women of colour frequently turn into a product of prevailing

stereotypes fed by arrogant ignorance from their surroundings.
Regardless of how we might react to certain situations, our emo-
tional values and responses are being judged, as if we are not
physical distance reasonable human beings. However, these systematically placed
from stereotypes are not dismantled by following a socially accepted
your own code of behaviour, but rather by being oneself and navigating
(body)
people towards the understanding that people of colour are
is losing
fully human, capable and responsible of all types of emotional
your own
(identity) responses.
displacing
your own The new narratives people of colour are manifesting and put-
(being) ting into a protected place to exist are getting tired. Tired of the
disagreeing unfruitful conversation of their opponents. The permanent fight
with to conquer the enemy within oneself that tells one that this is
your own a constant fight. Simply due to the fact that the colour of one’s
(existence) skin and the birthplace of a body is nothing one can choose nor
alter. Not to mention, that these basic human rights people of
colour are passionately fighting for are perceived as violent hate
crimes against humanity. Stapled as the party of hate rather
than love.

Body politics and ideas of self-realisation in the Global West

have been put into place many decades ago. Striving to be seen
through a single lens, not being questioned. In the last few
years people of colour have been trying to change the belief that
brown and black people do not belong in the spaces they
occupy.

29
Making people aware of their lack of knowledge, of what it
means to be forcefully displaced, shut down, and marginalised.

Through the revealing of the mistreatment of brown and black

bodies in public spaces, repercussions such as the deliberate
construction of false narratives and the manipulated association
with violence becomes a recurring topic connected to the black
body. Questions of dominance and systematic and symbolic
boundaries arise within those discussions. we
sat across
Ideas of alienation have slowly sifted through layers of resis- the table
her eyes
tance and unity and turned into redirected self-hatred. From
brown
body politics to colourism within the black community, these as mine
negative experiences for people of colour have overshadowed her skin
the one common goal; surviving in the Western society. glistening
in shades of brown
The social acceptance towards light skinned people from a just like
mine
white and black perspective have turned into paradoxes of
her hand that just looked
themselves. Whereas white people often search for the exotic, like mine
placing one into the spectrum of otherness, people of the black reached
community are often hurt when mixed raced people claim their across the table.
blackness. Hurt that finds its source in the favouring of the light she politely asked
skinned, which results in the quick and effortless acceptance of “ May I touch your hair ?”
I slowly leaned
light skinned people, while they are simultaneously exempted
forward
from carrying the same harsh stereotypes black people have so she could reach
to dismantle on an everyday basis. This causes division in the my curls
black community that comes with misjudgment and unsettling she gently squeezed my hair in between her long fingers
sentiments for people with lighter complexion. Questioning she closed her eyes
their value and position in the discussions of ownership, belong- moved her arm back on her side of the table
and said
ing, and identity.
“ It’s just like mine.“

Walking the thin line between black and white, between - finding comfort in people who look like us.
belonging and alienation. People born in mixed families often
do not find their belonging in their families, since their parents
might visually represent another race. However, rightly find-
ing crucial significance in being able to communicate with one
another without extensive explanations that can still lead to
empathy and recognition of different patterns of existence.

31
The privilege to experience belonging with people that look like
your reflection is undervalued. Having the possibility to drown
in an ocean of people that have the same complexion, similar
features, and perhaps even comparable upbringings can form a
profound sense of belonging and safety that potentially impact
your future in beneficial ways.

When you are left starving for recognition from your own kind
and are deprived from loving and caring notions of people you
want to associate with. Loneliness has found its source in its
longing.

33
35
37
THE FANTASY OF BLACKNESS

The most dangerous place for people of colour to exist in, is the
imagination of a white person.

The fantasy of Blackness is a bottomless pit. Through realms of

the exotic, the erotic, and appropriation, people of colour are
formed into shapes that ease the fantasy of the observer. These
moulds are repeatedly supported by stereotypes and discrimina-
tion. However, those fantasies are deeply rooted in patriarchy,
and they silence and dehumanize the ‘other’ in the process.

The romanticizing of these bodies can be discussed through the

lense of the exotic and the erotic. Wild imaginations that project
exoticism onto the unknown and the undiscovered whilst
simultaneously holding the shame and silence towards the
erotic. Desire commonly accompanied by fetishism becomes a
sexual fantasy of superiority. Hierarchical thinking that manip-
ulates into the belief of an elimination of power. Especially once
love doesn’t meet emotional vulnerability.

39
Although women of colour are perceived from a single
perspective through the lense of the erotic, they are contrarily
discussed as the least feminine race. Often seen as aggressive,
angry, or too tough. Beyond the stereotyping, fetishising, and
shameful discussions around the erotic, the erotic is a nurtur-
er of the deepest knowledge of the Dasein. Being corrupted or
distorted in someone’s erotic equals the deconstruction of their
various powers and encourages a culture of the oppressed.
Despite the sexual fantasy of races, these imaginations also
show their powers in the appropriation of cultures and their ex-
istence far beyond objectivity. Systems of appropriation that are
being supported by mass media not only share a flawed inter-
pretation of what it means to be a person of colour but addition-
ally promote the act of ‘othering’.
It is the perspective of blackness that is accompanied by the
vivid culture, pride, and unity of people of colour that makes it
desirable for others to be part of a community with this mag-
nitude. Yet, there is a certain goal of leaving nothing to the
imagination. The imagination that is often fuelled by negative
stereotypes. The question: what might happen if… ? needs to
transform into the acknowledgment how these ‘ fantasies’ are
inevitably affecting every one of us living in the fantasy of
Whiteness and Blackness.

white people try to take Waheed, Nayyirah;

blackness. Salt.; pp.101
pour it out
rub it into their skin
and
wear us
like they know what we about.
but
honey
it’s only ever gon’ be a suntan.
you
ain’t neva gon’ be black.

- tan | stealing from the sun.

41
43
45
47
LA BETE NOIR
THE BLACK BEAST

The aspiration to unchain oneself from the inhumanity that

derives out of colonising rules of oppression, discrimination,
and ‘othering’ has forced people to continuously reinvent them-
selves in order to fit into western social norms and expectations.
However, being stuck in this uniform that calls for misjudgment
and violent behaviour is a result of a corrupted framework of
reflection onto the other.

The fear towards people of colour that has been manually

produced in the West finds its source in the desire of domination
and superiority. Additionally, the stereotypes about the Global
South are a motionless and one sided story, reviving through
every encounter and experience of fear.

How much does fear interfere with our world, when behaviour
is getting altered towards people of different ethnic back-
grounds?

49
The terminology and idea of the ‘Black Beast’ and its translation
into ‘ being someone’s thorn in their eye’ make the experience of
people of colour more tangible. Being confronted with this gaze,
which is charged with the fear of danger and pain, one starts
to dismantle oneself and question any type of self-worth. When
the gaze touches your body and disassembles every inch, fear
turns into a cloud hovering over your being, slowly discharging
its energy into the crown of your head, leaving both parties
with groundless fear and concern. Yet, simultaneously urging
the radical act of demanding liberation from the white imagina-
tion.

Not only associations with the colour black but also dominant
thoughts that have been seeded into our brains about the other
and the unknown are actively shifting social behavior.
Instead of acknowledging that the colour black holds its power
in combining all the colours of the spectrum in its mysterious
and beautiful depth, negative narratives thrive from silencing
other points of views. Especially sayings that support discrimi-
natory attitudes and interactions quickly dismantle alternative
narratives.

People of colour have pulled Westerners into a place of discom-

fort since the moment they have seen themselves and experi-
enced themselves as an independent entity. Despite the fact
that the white man has decided that the black individual is
less than human, an object to manipulate to their advantage,
blackness has evolved into a state beyond objectivity, reclaim-
ing its culture and holding its strength in its core. A culture
that acknowledges every member has fully capable and is fully
human, opposing ill-taught notions that prevent empathy and
understanding.

51
53
 UNCONDITIONAL BELONGING

When thinking about freedom and its philosophy, thoughts of

independence movements and ideas of future possibilities might
cross one’s mind. Depending on one’s personal background, this
term can manifest into different areas of itself. Harsh distinc-
tions between freedom of and freedom to, can underline diverse
beliefs of what freedom means to different kinds of people,
typically depending on their current situation.

Having the freedom to live in a country and walk through its

streets does not entail the freedom from mistreatment or racist
attacks.

Only the absence of the practice of freedom will crystallize how

far this philosophy can stretch, and once one is deprived from
freedom’s existence, the question of what freedom is can be an-
swered more simply. Especially in the spheres between physical-
ity and mentality, freedom moves codependently.

Lorde, Audre; Poetry The white fathers told us : I think, therefore I am. The Black mother
Is Not A Luxury; within each of us - the poet - whispers in our dreams: I feel, therefore
pp.10
I can be free.

55
Establishing the concept of freedom into notions of belonging,
one might not immediately see the intersections of mentality
and physicality, freedom to and freedom of, and rejection and
acceptance. Yet, those juxtaposing understandings all find their
one common denominator in the realm of migration.
Constructing narratives that find their foundations in new
perspectives, different lenses, and neglected voices in order to
visualise discriminating structures in the Western Globe.
Systems carefully designed to marginalise people in the quick-
est way possible. Through economic and social reforms of values
and beliefs, people of different ethnical backgrounds are fight-
ing a battle in their everyday lives, in hopes of winning the war.
A prolonged war that is setting against key dynamics whilst
examining underlying politics of a historical narrative that
ultimately can expose the absence and negation of values to-
wards people of colour in the West. Meanwhile, accepting the
fact that in this contemporary world, safety and protection has
turned into the currency of integration and citizenship.
Africa is the motherland
my father is Ghanaian because his mother is
I am not African because the woman carries the land
Europe is the land of the sons
my mother is Austrian because her father is
I am not European because the sons own the land
Immigration, as either a voluntary or forced displacement of
the body, instantly becomes an exploration of relative strength
once when discussing topics such as integration and division.
Experiencing individual backgrounds such as tradition, reli-
gion, language, culture, identity, and home, as an extension of
someone’s body can shift these questions of social and economic
integration into a new light.
Human beings walking the planet with their individual exten-
sion that has been growing with them since the day they were
born, suddenly need to shift and adapt to new spaces, people,
languages, cultures, and traditions. Adapting to new circum-
stances can alter and simultaneously broaden one’s extension,
yet raises questions if forceful integration into a new society
with different values eliminates previously gained understand-
ing of oneself and the extension that was fostered in their place
of upbringing. Considering this extension as part of their ex-
istence, holding moral and ethical values, those modifications
might feel as if one loses themselves. Even forms of communi-
cation, which is one of the profound mechanisms of survival,
will alter with this change and can lead to miscommunication
between one another. Especially when one is denying the exis-
tence of different truths and different worlds of reality.
Waheed, Nayyirah; you broke the ocean in
Salt.; pp.5 half to be here.
only to meet nothing that wants you.
-immigrant
57
Nowadays, in a world filled with neo nomads, a new type and Acknowledging that we have every right to experience a feeling
understanding of belonging has been established in upcoming of belonging, the longing for protected spaces, in which people
generations. Rather than finding a sense of home in one’s face each other on eye level and equally prioritise physical safe-
surroundings, the search of home is redirected to oneself and ty and mental safety, is awakened. So the only thing one hears
the body. Homelessness within the body however can not solely is not the absence of responses but rather the echoing of similar
relate to a mental state that has manifested itself in our being moral values.
but also finds itself in the physicality of its Dasein. Breaking
these sentiments down, we have to recognize its source and ask Lorde, Audre; ‘ There are myths of self-protection that hold us separate from
what will happen when belonging goes beyond the surrounding Your Silence Will Not each other and breed harshness and cruelty where we most
Protect You; pp. 160
and meets the thought in the body. This encounter might be need softness and understanding. ‘
capable of enabling liberation and breaking down the temporary
comfort of belonging through a distance whilst expanding Changing the language is transforming the protagonist of our
emotional responses toward experiencing the body as a shelter. worlds. Even in non-western countries the protagonist is still
European. Holding strings with more and more attachments
that create a circle of domination and dependency. As long as
there is no change in the roots of these issues, people of colour
can never achieve physical or mental freedom. It is a never
ending game in which new rules are forced onto people every
step of the way. Intentional rules to misguide the ‘other’ into
believing that belonging can not be found outside of predefined
notions.
there are a hand full of
people
who welcome others,
in their homes
share
their thoughts,
even their worries
I wish for my hand to get so full.
it gets hard to hold up.
yet with the support I can raise my hands
far above my head and show with pride
all the people that
are welcome

59
61
63
65
SEASONS OF BECOMING

It is not an
identity crisis
if you are out there
trying
to find
yourself.

Navigating through the chaos of identity and belonging,people

of different ethnic backgrounds are often the ones involuntari-
ly put into a state of an identity crisis. It is rather unfortunate,
that seeking someone’s belonging and going in depth with your
personal history is considered an identity crisis for many people.
Yet, ultimately it is an exploration to answer the question of :
who am I? And how have I become? Finding justifications on
why we are, starts in adolescence through phases of disorienta-
tion and discovery.

I do not consider myself to have an identity crisis

the only experience that I might not have had was
the luck to go outside and see people like me -
for the most part of my life.

67
Through stages of self-development, the internalizing of the
values of parents and close friends has the greatest impact in
forming the self, nevertheless acknowledging the undeniable
influence of the intuitive matching of one’s identity to social
roles and their expectations. The danger of existing in accor-
dance with one’s surroundings is the deceit of misrepresenting
oneself. The altering of one’s identity requires cognitive
resources that can lead to a mind filled with self-doubt, altered
self-consciousness, and the uncertainty of the self.
A lack of coherent sense of identity, however, does not necessar-
ily connect to the self but social myths such as bodily appear-
ance, behaviour, and personal preferences that are pressuring
one into losing oneself and adopting a sense of the ‘other’.
“The Modern concept of identity places a supreme value on
authenticity, on the validation of that inner being that is not
being allowed to express itself.” Throughout the journey of
becoming oneself, we are challenged to show empathy not only
to each other but also to ourselves. Embracing different stories
of becoming and letting go of manifestations within, that lead
us to believe that there is only one right way of pursuing a sense
of arriving in our bodies and lives, is claiming power over who
we choose to be.
“ What does that mean for Black women? It means we must establish
authority over our own definition, provide an attentive concern and
expectations of growth which is the beginning of that acceptance we
came to expect only from our mothers. It means that I affirm my own
worth by committing myself to my own survival, in my own self and
in the self of other Black women. On the other hand, it means that as I
learn my worth and genuine possibility, I refuse to settle for anything
less than a rigorous pursuit of the possible of myself, at the same time
making a distinction between what is possible and what the outside
world drives me to do in order to prove I am human. It means being
able to recognise my successes, and to be tender with myself, even
when i fail. “
Unfortunately, the stories of people of colour are often valued
as less impactful or important. This can be due to the fact that
non Western history has been forcefully destroyed and disman-
tled since times of slavery, perceiving every human not repre-
senting the white race as less than and not worthy of their own
stories of becoming. The representation of the other forms the
self. These devaluating reactions and systematic stigmatisation
towards others shows not only the insecurity and fear towards
success stories of the ‘other’ but are also used to crumble us in
the air, in order to fall like dust on unfruitful ground.
Growing futures so strong and vivid that one does not have to
look to ‘otherness’ for shelter. Deconstructing ourselves, to find
the essence beyond national and cultural identity, the abstract
which makes us unique. Finding new connections in the rich-
Fukuyama, Francis; ness of our heritage and the blessings of our ancestors, in order
Identity, Contemporary to reveal our self.
Iditentity Politics and
the Struggle for Recog-
nition; pp. 25 Mental health plays a crucial role in the development of some-
one’s identity. Finding yourself struggling with your own mental
health throughout periods, in which placing your voice into your
existence seems impossible and positive thoughts cannot create
a sense of comfort, often coexists with notions of shame and a
lack of confidence. These emotions hovering over the process of
becoming oneself can cause isolation and confusion and simul-
taneously create walls throughout conversations with others.
Being vulnerable about the difficulties of becoming shows
Lorde, Audre; Your
others that this very evolution of the self can be a painful and
Silence Will Not Pro- uncomfortable process, yet underlines the importance to under-
tect You; pp.166 stand that the practice of love ( to others and ourselves ) needs
patience.
Mental health difficulties find their source in the lack of a sense
of belonging and identity and result in distorted views of one-
self. People of colour found grace in their oppression, yet the
importance in the relation between identity, belonging, and
their well-being came into understanding. Growing up with
pain that is not given attention. Healing that has not yet begun.
69
The moment this pain is voiced, one not only conquers fears of
rejection and abandonment, but also allows themselves to heal,
and dream about the person they want to become.

Who I am right now, is the woman I used to be, the woman I

am, and the woman I aspire to be.

Notably, women of colour are becoming each other’s muses in

this global movement of black consciousness. Sharing vulner-
ability in a cultural complex society in which this one primary
question arises: What does it mean to love yourself in a society
where no one returns your love?

“We must love ourselves even if - and perhaps especially if - Wilkerson, Isabel;
others don’t” “Where Do We Go
From Here?” The
Fire This Time;
pp.61

71
73
75
REMAIN WATER

stars attached to our movement

whilst we fall to earth
pulling the moon with us

turning into rivers

meandering through mountains and valleys
joining the big pond
dissolving
and becoming one.

we come from the ocean.

I know,
because we speak in waves.

77
at my calmest you can see your reflection in me
and if you hear the storm approaching
so tell your story to the ocean
you will feel my waves crashing
it is the only entity that knows how to listen
I hope
without judgment.
it will not drown you
but you will swim through it
remain water in all of its forms
to see the fire burning on the other side
water that nourishes the soil
to grow the flowers
the fire I kept between my palms
we grace our homes with
until it scared my skin
let us all be soft fierce and water
I screamed the pain into the ocean
to harvest a good heart.
and my voice echoed within me.
until it forced the rain
it is difficult to remember.
to pour
to remember to remain water in fire.
in me to nourish my soil
to heal the scars.

79
81
EPILOGUE

There is a point in everyone’s life, in which we are looking for

belonging. Having a deeper look into our existence and finding
our identity in its independence can heal wounds of suffering
and homlessness within the body.

It is important to acknowledge that the search for belonging is

an individual path yet is in need for support by its surroundings.
In moments of resistance one is asked to move past the self and
past their own ego with the understanding that there is no need
to examine their feelings.

Gaining this very privilege of perspective is taking agency of

one’s journey of becoming and can reveal forms of
self-ownership.

83
 Tell the story of your body to the ones who have learned how
to listen. Since the ones that have taught themselves how to be
quiet, when others are speaking, are the ones who have placed
their ego aside and welcome others into their existence.
take the courage
the moon
As a woman of colour I myself have been drowning in the chaos
carries.
of finding my identity and my belonging. The urge to be seen
the courage
as fully human who is allowed to feel. To laugh loudly and cry
to shine
in dark times even louder. I quest the freedom to show my emotions and make
and make others my heart the most beautiful thing about me. Without being
point at you called the angry black woman or being shut down for being too
and say sensitive to talk to. To allow also people of colour, to perceive
‘Look at her, vulnerability as strength. Talking to ourselves like we would
she is the moon.’ talk about flowers in order to restore our aura and bring no-
tions of healing back into our state of being. Acknowledging the
importance in finding love in what sees you and appreciate the
body with the understanding that it is in fact, a borrowed home.

85
 I am showing gratetude to
everyone that helped me turn
into water. This support will
never go unnoticed.
 From Soil To Skin explores notions of belonging and identity.
The work exists in the realm between ficiton and nonfiction and
finds its purpose in the discussion of the internsectionality through
the Dasein.