Women Don't Care About Your Insecurities

By: Tony Depp (/user/25092)

(/user/25092)  Likes  0 Comments

Women don't know your insecuri es or care about them. So be free. Let the past go, and go get the girl.
In the da ng community, there's always this debate about inner vs. outer game (//www.girlschase.com/content/inner-
game-vs-outer-game-debate), technique vs. belief.
The truth is, they're symbio c. Where would the bee be without flowers? It would just buzz around and die.

My Friend the Non-Believer

I'm in Mexico at the moment, sharing an Airbnb with a man who is less inclined toward the pickup philosophy than I am. He
no ced my teeth are a li le crooked because I never had braces as a kid.
"You should get braces. If you fix your teeth, women will find you more a rac ve," he said.
"I've never had a problem mee ng women that find me a rac ve," I replied.
"Really? Interes ng."
Like most men, he is hung up on the idea that women (//www.girlschase.com/content/what-are-beau ful-womens-
expecta ons-da ng) gauge a man's a rac veness based primarily on their looks.
But if that were the case, then all this da ng theory wouldn't work. And yet, it does. There's a lot more
(//www.girlschase.com/content/fashion-men-primer-looking-amazing) to women's a rac on triggers
(//www.girlschase.com/content/how-many-a rac on-factors-are-there-infinite) than a man's good looks.
"If you were taller, it would open up your da ng pool (//www.girlschase.com/content/women-small-da ng-pools) to all
those tall women (//www.girlschase.com/content/short-girls-vs-tall-girls-which-are-be er-hook-and-date)," he said.
"I've never had problems a rac ng taller women. It's my specialty."
My friend has self-image issues. He's overweight and refuses to exercise. He goes for "walks," which is another excuse lazy
people make to not exercise. And the fa er he gets, the more he doubles down on his current philosophy.
"You can do sprints or go to the gym (//www.girlschase.com/content/how-build-male-body-drives-women-crazy)," I tell
him.
"No, I prefer walks."
I want to shake him and tell him the reason he isn't ge ng the a en on from women he desires isn't that he's got bad teeth
or that he's overweight. It's that he believes (//www.girlschase.com/content/how-be-confident-man-kind-confidence-
women) these are reasons they aren't a racted to him.
Deep down, he probably feels that even if he did work out, fix his teeth, and erase his other insecuri es, he s ll wouldn't get
those tall, long-legged women.

What You Believe Matters

I subscribe to a different philosophy.
I believe that I am capable of nearly anything I set my mind to. All I have to do is the work.

You're responsible for your own success or failure.

The cold hard truth about women and what they find a rac ve is this:
Women don't care about your insecuri es (//www.girlschase.com/content/how-deal-your-physical-insecuri es)
They don't care if you don't know what to say (//www.girlschase.com/content/day-game-tour-tony-depp-pt3-i-don-t-
know-what-say-girls)
 They don't care if you don't like your thinning hair, crooked teeth, or pot belly
They care if YOU care
And how do they know if you're an insecure, self-conscious wreck?
There are tells. Just like in poker, they can see if you're bluffing. It's all about your body language
(//www.girlschase.com/content/sexy-body-language-men-learned-hot-girls) and those li le Freudian slips.

Body Language Tells

The low confidence tells are:
Eye contact (//www.girlschase.com/content/elite-eye-contact). You can't hold it and break it o en
Fidge ng (//www.girlschase.com/content/s llness). This can be with a pen, your hair, or the bu ons on your jacket
Shi ing weight. You move from one foot to the other or move around a lot
Throwing hands (//www.girlschase.com/content/hand-gestures-make-you-more-a rac ve-girls). When you talk, your
hands fly around all over the place like you're doing card tricks
For the low self-esteem (//www.girlschase.com/content/how-take-your-self-esteem-stratosphere) man, the tells seep out
like water through a leaky roof.
It might be a li le nega ve comment: "I'm not into the gym. I prefer walks."
"Why?" she might ask. "He doesn't seem to work out. So where does he exercise? Does he exercise at all? Why
not?"
Or he might say something like, "I don't really like hot days. I'm more of a night person. My skin is sensi ve
(//www.girlschase.com/content/percep ve-man-responsive-man-sensi ve-man)."
"Why not? Doesn't he like being outside? Won't he go to the beach today? Is he insecure about his body?" she'll
think.
Or she tries to take his picture, and he says, "Please, no; I don't like my picture being taken. I feel like everyone just wants to
take pictures with their phones nowadays."
"Why not?" She wonders. "Doesn't he like his smile (//www.girlschase.com/content/smile-warmly-smile-
sexy)?"
These li le tells let her know you're not comfortable in your own skin. But the insecure (//www.girlschase.com/content/if-
you-dont-want-date-her-does-it-mean-youre-insecure) man will not come out and say, "I don't exercise because I'm lazy," or
"I don't like the beach because I'm pale and skinny and embarrassed about what people might think of me."
These men o en tell me their insecuri es because I'm a da ng coach, and they pay me thousands of dollars to hear their
burdens.
And if I tell them none of this ma ers, their insecuri es are theirs alone. Yet they don't believe me.
Here's the laundry list of excuses I hear from clients. They are:
Too short (//www.girlschase.com/content/da ng-short-guy-what-know-and-do)
Tall
Fat (//www.girlschase.com/content/how-i-went-fat-guy-lady-killer-pics-prove-it)
Bald (//www.girlschase.com/content/how-look-good-bald-and-be-handsome-hell)
Skinny (//www.girlschase.com/content/scrawny-brawny-ul mate-guide-bulking-hard-gainers)
Broke (//www.girlschase.com/content/how-pick-girls-when-youre-broke)
Rich (h ps://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/not-another-money-post-but-yes-the-difference-between-a-boss-and-simp-tale-of-2-wings.23363/)
Shy (//www.girlschase.com/content/seduc ve-power-shy)
Ugly (//www.girlschase.com/content/how-deal-your-physical-insecuri es)
Handsome
Brown (//www.girlschase.com/content/franco-amrit-da ng-your-dream-girl-minority-podcast)
Black (//www.girlschase.com/content/how-black-guys-can-have-sex-white-girls)
White
Yellow (//www.girlschase.com/content/asian-guys-and-white-girls-secret-success)
Old (//www.girlschase.com/content/14-secrets-being-sexy-older-man)
 Young (//www.girlschase.com/content/mee ng-women-younger-guy-out-college)
Smart
Stupid

It's not their fault, either.

It's their parents, their gene cs, or circumstances far beyond their control. If only things were different, and they were born
someone else! Then they could get all kinds of pussy!!
Everyone has some anecdotal evidence of a seemingly una rac ve guy who has a knack for da ng very a rac ve women
(//www.girlschase.com/content/are-gorgeous-women-more-difficult-cute-or-pre y-ones).

You don't have to be a wizard to do it.

These men don't let a li le thing like "reality" or "evidence" stop them from pursuing women.
They're overweight? The wrong race? Poor? Irrelevant! All these factors only make them sexier.
You must pay close a en on to your inner dialogue (//www.girlschase.com/content/your-mental-model-flawed).

Your Self-Image is Illusory

If you could peel off your face and throw it away, who would you be? What if you didn't have a body but were a friendly ghost?
How would you interact with the world? You wouldn't have a self-image because you wouldn't have a self.
If you could re-create your image of yourself, who would you be? Handsome? Strong (//www.girlschase.com/content/book-
excerpts-be-strong-man)? Extroverted? Adventurous (//www.girlschase.com/content/all-women-long-taste-adventure),
funny and charisma c (//www.girlschase.com/content/3-things-know-if-you-want-be-charisma c)?
Your inner mind has a mirror. Look into it now, and see that person; be that person.

The Special and Unique Snowflake

Some men spend weeks, months, years reading seduc on, pickup, and da ng blogs or books. They study courses, watch
infield videos on YouTube - yet when it's their turn to take ac on (//www.girlschase.com/content/take-more-ac on), they
don't.
It's different for THEM. Because they're SPECIAL and have UNIQUE problems that other guys don't. And besides, this stuff only
works for guys who are (insert laundry list of specious excuses).
Know that whatever you are going through, whether it's just not knowing "what to say
(//www.girlschase.com/content/what-say-girls-make-them-go-wild-you)" or thinking you're uglier than sin, you're not
alone (//www.girlschase.com/content/should-you-go-out-alone-learn-pickup). You are not the only one who feels like you
do.
If other men have suffered as you have, and they overcame it to find tremendous success with women, you can do it too.
You're not special or unique (//www.girlschase.com/content/you-re-not-special-and-neither-she) in your suffering, and
that's a good thing.

There's nothing special about you. This realiza on should set you free.

Women Care More About How You Feel About Yourself Than What You
Look Like
Here's a true statement about women and their psychology:
They don't care.
They don't care about your big nose, your crooked teeth, your brown skin, your accent, your height.
What they care about is how YOU feel about YOURSELF.
There are more than a billion eligible women on this planet. Do you think every single one of them only cares how much
money you have or whether you're spor ng six-pack abs (//www.girlschase.com/content/easy-nutri onal-tracking-six-
pack-abs)?
Women are a racted to CONFIDENCE (//www.girlschase.com/content/top-mindsets-all-confident-men).
Learning GAME is the great equalizer (//www.girlschase.com/content/do-you-really-need-learn-game-get-girls).
The reason game works is that... the vast majority of men don't have it. Not only do they not have it, but they're absolutely
terrible with women.
All you have to do to stand out (//www.girlschase.com/content/4-ways-use-contrast-principle-your-love-life) from the
hordes of horrible men with no game is have about 10% more than they do.
If you know concepts like:
Push-Pull (//www.girlschase.com/content/tac cs-tuesdays-push-pull-ge ng-girls)
Breaking Rapport (//www.girlschase.com/content/breaking-rapport-you%E2%80%99ve-been-doing-it-wrong)
Social Proof (//www.girlschase.com/content/how-use-social-proof-get-girls)
Chase Framing (//www.girlschase.com/content/secrets-ge ng-girls-chase-framing)
Deep Diving (//www.girlschase.com/content/secrets-ge ng-girls-art-deep-dive)
Cold Reading (//www.girlschase.com/content/cold-reading-your-way-great-conversa ons)
Day Game (//www.girlschase.com/content/day-game-tour-tony-depp-pt1-your-mindset)
Elici ng Values (//www.girlschase.com/content/what-does-she-want-8-things-you-must-ask-her)
Abundance Mentality (//www.girlschase.com/content/absolute-abundance)

If you know this stuff, you are so incredibly far ahead of the average guy (//www.girlschase.com/content/elegance-sexiness-
and-average-normal-people), it's laughable.
You may be a Padawan, but you have a lightsaber, while the average man does not.

Let go of your concerns of what others think.

Does it ma er how someone else perceives you? Yes, if you want something from them.
However, when it comes to charm (//www.girlschase.com/content/how-be-charming-women-you-meet-10-steps), how
they see you depends en rely on how you see yourself. Your inner dialogue might as well be public knowledge, with all the
tells you're throwing out.
Learn how to quiet that inner voice. Meditate (//www.girlschase.com/content/brain-hacks-medita on-stressed-and-busy).
Turn the nega ve self-talk (//www.girlschase.com/content/transmi ng-bad-vibes-or-why-people-may-not-you) into your
own personal self-improvement guru. Let him inspire you.
When you start telling yourself crap like you're not good enough, tall enough, brave enough - tell it to shut the hell up!
Nega vity WILL NOT HELP you achieve your goals, so why pay it any a en on at all?
 To Believe Or Not To Believe
Ul mately, the people who can change their self-image and overcome their doubts will succeed in da ng.
I honestly don't care if you're four feet tall. You may not be the next James Bond, but you'll be good enough to at least find an
a rac ve girlfriend.
The alterna ve, to live the way you've always lived, in a cloud of despair, self-loathing, and loneliness
(//www.girlschase.com/content/how-overcome-depression), is not the sort of living any man deserves.
So why not believe in yourself, and do what everyone before you has told you works?

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Tony Depp

Author
Tony is one of the most veteran day game experts around. He began to pick up women in the mid-2000s, when he posted on the famed seduc on
forum mASF... alongside other old hands like Chase Amante and Alek Rolstad. Over the last 10 years Tony has coached hundreds of students to meet
women during the day. He has two published books out on seduc on: one on his journey (h ps://www.amazon.com/A-Thousand-Tiny-Failures-
Newton/dp/1492375772/ref=nosim?tag=girlschasecom-20), and one on doing awesome at day game (h ps://www.amazon.com/Hope-its-Sunny-Out-
ebook/dp/B00F13MD3I/ref=nosim?tag=girlschasecom-20).

 (h ps://www.absoluteability.com/)
(mailto:tony@girlschase.com)

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