Hailee Francom

Mrs. Mckay

AP/IB ELA 11

4 January, 2021

The Effect of Toxic Masculinity on Men

The twentieth and twenty-first century have been monumental ages for the progress of

women in a patriarchal society. After gaining voting rights, women continued to develop an

equal role in American society. Because of that, men have been equated to privileged and

incapable of suffering compared to a woman. As the progress of women’s equality has

skyrocketed, men’s seem to have plateaued in the twenty-first century. Because of that, the

mental health of the male population has decreased, and only recently has their emotional

suppression been made audible to progressive societies by those willing to break the barrier.

Because of that, mental health for men has been studied and men can begin to express feminine

qualities without repression. Many of the authors in this discussion assume that men are expected

to uphold a certain sense of manliness that most men would agree with, and this burden is

crushing. American culture has strong roots built on gender stereotypes that negatively affect

men and their normality, and progressivism hopes to set equal standards for men and women

alike.

The stereotypical vision of a man stems from a long history of designated social spheres

assigned to a man or woman that has seeped into a progressive twenty-first century. Men

typically performed physically laborious tasks, as well as provided stability for the household;

women were expected to make the house and themselves pretty, as well as rearing the children

and maintaining comfort in the home. While gender roles seemed to be assigned from the
beginning of time, it progressed in America as heavily as did their expansion. One example of

the heavy stereotypes is the one imposed on cowboy culture. The Great American West and

increasingly, the last frontier was a symbol of hope and rebirth in the vast lands during the

nineteenth century. Those men that worked farms and used the land for ranching became

romanticized as Americans believed that they upheld the truest form of manliness in their

physical labor. Gretel Ehrlich is a ranch born woman from Wyoming, and in her article “About

Men,” she recalls the difference between her buddies back home and the Hollywood cowboy.

She claims that the actual cowboys are truly tender and utilize both feminine and masculine

qualities in their work. She proceeds to explain the differences between romanticized cowboys

and the cowboys she knew, explaining that their actual manlihood came from their ability to

withstand tough trials, but states, “The iconic myth surrounding him is built on American notions

of heroism: the index of a man's value as measured in physical courage,” (Ehrlich, paragraph 2.)

Thus, it is widely accepted that the definition of manhood is dependent on the dominant qualities

that they exert. To further back this claim, the cigarette company Marlboro used to appeal to

women, but decided to change its brand to appeal more to men later on. With that, they

advertised this switch with the picture of a rugged cowboy with a cigarette in his mouth; the

picture is close up to his face to assert dominance as it leaves no negative space, and portrays this

man as rugged and unfazed by outside forces, (Leonard McCombe.) This stereotype on cowboys

portrays a larger generalization on the expectations of masculinity, because cowboys seem to

uphold the true ideals of manliness within their physical labor and laconic nature; other men are

supposed to idolize these attributes and then are expected to live within the same emotional box.

The expectations set for men by society allows little room for self expression and

ultimately hurts their mental health by suppressing the use of emotions or feminine qualities in
exchange for acceptance. In “Putting Down the Gun” by Rebecca Walker, this mother explores

the negative consequences that these social impositions have on men, even at a young age; her

son was never allowed violent video games, and instead had his own range of hobbies. After

returning from school wanting to start playing a sport, Walker was shocked at this sudden change

in interests; he had hoped that maybe if he played a sport, girls would like him and he would be

able to relate to his friends. This statement sent fear to his mother as she contemplated the role of

men in society, and the rules they must abide by to be socially accepted. She proceeds to say,

“The first steps were clear: Tell him that who he is authentically is not enough; tell him that he

will not be loved unless he abandons his own desires and picks up a tool of competition; tell him

that to really be of value he must stand ready to compete, dominate, and, if necessary, kill, if not

actually, then virtually, financially, athletically” (Walker, para 17.) In other words, men are

spoon-fed certain hobbies that mimic strategies in war, and make one question the expectations

for men and the true intentions of these expectations. This is agreeable because other qualities

that men are born with can commonly be suppressed in hopes of acceptance by peers. Paul

Theroux is a male travel writer who, in his piece “Being A Man,” examines societal views on

masculinity. He is quite harsh and even more blunt, and then scrutinizes, “American culture does

little more for a man than prepare him for modeling clothes in the L. L. Bean catalogue. I take

this as a personal insult because for many years I found it impossible to admit to myself that I

wanted to be a writer. It was my guilty secret, because being a writer was incompatible with

being a man.” (Theroux, para 8.) This statement resonates as the writer himself despises being a

man because of all of its intruding burdens. Conclusively, manliness is a facade built by a society

hungry to socially contain and label everything, then set that as the standard. Because of that, a
man is seldom allowed to be his true self, and instead walks in his body as an imposter to gain

acceptance and credibility.

In calling for less assumption of roles based on gender, one is not denying men of the

right to hold manly qualities. Some right-wing passionates might argue that left-wing radicals are

aiming to break down society by allowing men to express feminine qualities. In 2020, icon

Harry Styles wore a dress on Vogue, and the backlash was immense. This simple action sparked

the trend “bring back manly men” which encourages supporters of a new progressive manlihood

to accept that the stereotypical manly man is a figure that America was built upon, and would not

be able to thrive without. While that argument is preposterous in itself because America is a

changed place, dominated by men and increasingly women alike, encouragers of social change

for genders does not shame men for exhibiting typical manly qualities such as physical and

emotional strength, assertiveness and courage; they just hope that they are given the same chance

to exhibit typical female qualities such as cooperativity, tenderness, kindness and sensitivity. The

boxes drawn for these genders are breaking everyday as even the standard definition of gender

changes. This changing social sphere has no place for old policies, and David Brooks in his

article “Mind Over Muscle” begins by claiming, “Once upon a time, it was a man's world. Men

possessed most of the tools one needed for power and success: muscles, connections, control of

the crucial social institutions. But then along came the information age to change all that”

(Brooks, para. 1.) Importance comes from this statement because it is not important to depower

men, social change comes from equality for all. WIthin that, men deserve more room to express

their true emotions and should be free to reach out for help without disapproval from male and

female peers. Instead of demanding men be the opposite of manly, it is imperative that the
American population allow both genders to progress equally and free from social expectations

that had been set centuries ago.

Finally, it may be concluded that the typical expectations for masculinity are toxic. Actor

and activist Justin Baldoni talks about his experience with manlihood, and his journey towards

feminism now in “Why I am Done Trying to be Man Enough,” and he explains that a script is

subconsciously given to men at a young age. In order to be accepted by peers, a boy must reject

femininity himself, or face rejection, (Baldoni, 00:02:20-00:02:50). He proceeds to explain that

this pattern is toxic, and he can’t bear that burden any longer. From men themselves, societal

impositions are becoming noticed, and they are becoming uncomfortable. Moreover, Theroux

later states in his article, “It is on the contrary an unmerciful and punishing burden. Being a man

is bad enough; being manly is appalling.” (Theroux, para. 12.) That is enough to convince

readers that toxic masculinity is real and it is dangerous. A man, comfortable with being male, is

enraged but simultaneously bored with the concept of manly men. The continuing of

expectations set by American forefathers and all societies before them will only continue to hurt

the male population if allowed to proceed; if the nation should be successful, it would fulfill its

promise of equality for all by allowing men and women to exhibit whatever qualities they are

comfortable with, untouched by past presumptions on gender roles.

 Works Cited

Baldoni, Justin. “Why I'm Done Trying to Be ‘Man Enough.’” TED, Ted Conferences,

Nov. 2017,

www.ted.com/talks/justin_baldoni_why_i_m_done_trying_to_be_man_enough.

Brooks, David. “Mind Over Muscle.” The New York Times, 2005.

Ehrlich, Gretel. The Solace of Open Spaces. Penguin Books, 1985.

Marlboro. “Marlboro Man.” 1955.

Picture taken by Leonard McCombe in 1949

Theroux, Paul. Sunrise with Seamonsters: a Paul Theroux Reader. Houghton Mifflin,

1997.

Walker, Rebecca. What Makes a Man: 22 Writers Imagine the Future. Riverhead Books,

2005.