JAN / / 14 / / 13

VILLAGE
WEEKLY
WE WASTE OUR TIME SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO

Cyphur Wants Indigo to Server Daddy Dementia

Indi-GO
LADY WITHERSPOON
TIM ROSWELL
Cybot and AI Tenretni. He is
Beloved(?) Dictator Ako is so secure in his seat of corrupt
Cyphur the incredible semi-andriodal being
well known for sticking his power that he's allowing the
that sometimes graces the server with his
sneaky sticky vile little veils blinding us all to
presence was seen recently helping fabulous
fingers into the pie that is slip, revealing the chipped and
skyscraper-builder/liker of wishing Naomi to
VillageCraft. It is no secret peeling paint behind. It baffles
build a rainbow skyscraper. It was quickly
that he plucks the strings this writer that we continue to
noticed that he completely skipped the color
upon the marionettes who allow ourselves, the players, to
indigo. Naomi pointed out the oversight, but
dance for him to deceive us be oppressed by the stinky
he seemed to pay it no 1‘mind’. How could
all. However, it seems that staff. Ako and his child bride
someone create a rainbow without the color
despite his best efforts even consummate with their riches
indigo? Village Weekly’s top scientists agree
he fumbles and twists the given to them by staff reaping
that it could be because Cyphur does not see
wrong cords in a cacophony massive farms and watch the
color the way we do (with eyes) but as hex
of jumbled senseless poor players struggle with lag
codes that make up every image. In order to
movements, laying bare his and hostile staff and their never
simplify this from a long string of
obvious meddling. I speak of ending abuse. Rise up! Discard
indecipherable hex codes, he shortened it
course of the numerous your chains! Overthrow your
down to 8 colors (8 bits in 1 byte) for easy
occasions that the oppressors! #SimpForSenate!
storage in his 1‘brain’. These colors must
disembodied voice of Ako
include the 6 shown here, along with black and
flow from the lips of well-
white. This can also be backed up by Cyphur
known puppets such as
never using indigo in his name, as he cannot
register it as an acceptable color. Moving
forward, remember to only use the 8 standard
colors when talking to Cyphur about colors.
Indigo is only to be used when you need to
confuse him, as it has a chance to force a
reboot, giving you time to avoid his wicked
glare.
1
No photo evidence has ever been found of
grey ‘brain’ matter belonging to a
CyphurTheFox

The Skyscraper in Question

PAGE 1
 JAN / / 14 / / 13
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

TRENDING
Issue 12 Poll Recap
5 Fantastic Wedding Ideas For 2021 MOMMY
Look out For Next Week’s Divorce Tips!
This weeks poll recap is in a
PATSY CLINE
super large font because im
In this new year, it seems like there are many people excited to get losing control of my life
married, so this week we are going to give YOU an exclusive scoop faster than the Steelers lost
on the 5 best wedding ideas for your upcoming marriage event. Be the sport game last
sure to keep track of these for yourself, or a friend getting married weekend. The question was
soon something about a 12 year
Phantoms- Phantoms are great, especially at weddings. Their large, old? Idk, but honestly you
beautiful wings create a perfect backdrop for wedding photos and a know how this works, answer
great breezy atmosphere. The easiest way to get phantoms to come to the new poll and see the
your wedding is to just not sleep for a few days, you should be results of the old one at the
staying away from that bed anyway you unwedded heathens, so you place ty.
might as well plan for some flying friends!
Soup-
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Legend Really be
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm One
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm THE EDITOR
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Woah! Have you all hung out with
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Legend? He’s such a bro dropping
mm Salmon in the street and giving you
what you need. Legend is also very
Flowers- If you're reading about why flowers would be good at a talented at creating interesting and
wedding maybe you need to google what a wedding is, also watch a complex Parkours and is building a new
movie with a wedding in it or better yet, go to one in person (wear a Amusement Park full of them! Above
mask doe). all Legend is a kind and caring staff
member and we love watching him help
Cake- Refer to soup others. Village Weekly Loves Legend!

Murdur- You want to be with them forever anyways right? Well

then murder is the ultimate romantic way to proclaim your devotion,
because if you’re both on the run you have no one but each other,
right?

Brutul Affirms His Australian

Secret Agent Status

Brutalfive, known snake and suspected secret agent, has finally confirmed his status as a secret agent out of
Australia, undercover as a British student. If you missed the previous article on the topic, Brutal is likely a member
of a secret Australian task force planning to invade North America by infiltrating the various communities using
‘people’ who are actually made up of giant spiders and, you guessed it, snakes. This screenshot sent in by an
anonymous source not only confirms Brutal’s secret status, but tells us that Dipjack, known Australian, is in on the
plot. There are many ways this could be possible. Firstly, it is possible that all Australians are privy to the secret
plan because there are only like 50 of them on that island. The second option is that Dipjack may be one of the
leaders of Australia, maybe Scott Morrison or even Paul Symon. Either way, readers should be cautious around both
of them and brush up on their Australian rules and regulations just in case the plot is successful. PAGE 2
JAN / / 14 / / 13
VILLAGE
WEEKLY

CURRENT EVENTS:
EVENT QUALIA
January Community Showcase -
Qualia!
SCARED EVENT GOER

Happy New Year! The first village to be showcased in 2021 is the port of Qualia! Well known as the
spawn, Qualia if familiar to all players (For being confusing af) and will be fun to discover some of the
secrets Qualia has to offer. Most importantly the minigame will be PVP oriented so anyone that loves
a good fight make sure to mark your calendars so you don't miss this showcase.

It will be held on Monday, January 18th @ 7 pm minigame will be PVP oriented

EST The gdos are argny now die. Dtaeh to all paleyr. WE ARE CMINOG. The gods are
aka argny now die. Dtaeh to all palyer. WE ARE CINOMG.The gods are agrny now die.
4 pm PST Detah to all pleayr. WE ARE CMINOG.The gdos are angry now die. Detah to all
pyealr. WE ARE CMINOG.The gdos are angry now die. Dtaeh to all pyaelr. WE
12 am GMT on the 19th ARE CNOIMG.The gdos are angry now die. Dteah to all pyelar. WE ARE
10 am AEST on the 19th COINMG.The gdos are anrgy now die. Dtaeh to all paeylr. WE ARE CIOMNG.The
gdos are anrgy now die. Dteah to all pylaer. WE ARE CNOMIG.The gods are agrny
We hope to see you for this exciting event! now die. Detah to all paelyr. WE ARE CIOMNG.The gods are agrny now die. Dtaeh
to all paelyr. WE ARE CIMNOG. The gdos are argny now die. Dtaeh to all paleyr.
WE ARE CMINOG. The gods are argny now die. Dtaeh to all palyer. WE ARE

We are WAR
CINOMG.The gods are agrny now die. Detah to all pleayr. WE ARE CMINOG.The

GODS gdos are angry now die. Detah to all pyealr. WE ARE CMINOG.The gdos are angry
now die. Dtaeh to all pyaelr. WE ARE CNOIMG.The gdos are angry now die. Dteah
coming to all pyelar. WE ARE COINMG.The gdos are anrgy now die. Dtaeh to all paeylr.
One God down in Dipjack’s War against the Gods
WE ARE CIOMNG.The gdos are anrgy now die. Dteah to all pylaer. WE ARE
CNOMIG.The gods are agrny now die. Detah to all paelyr. WE ARE CIOMNG.The
gods are agrny now die. Dtaeh to all paelyr. WE ARE CIMNOG. The gdos are
argny now die. Dtaeh to all paleyr. WE ARE CMINOG. The gods are argny now
die. Dtaeh to all palyer. WE ARE CINOMG.The gods are agrny now die. Detah to
Last Week Soup Mod KingNurtul succumbed to Dipjack’s
all pleayr. sword at Tilgangur’s
WE ARE CMINOG.The gdos are angryKFC.
now die.This
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all first
pyealr. WE
reported death in Dipjack’s vendetta againstARE theCMINOG.The
Staff of VillageCraft.
gdos are angrySoup Mod
now die. DtaehNurtul wasWE
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so it's sadgdosthatareheangry
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die. Dteah and didn't
to all pylaer. WE ARE notice Dipjack.
CNOMIG.The Either
gods way
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die. Detah
The
how we'll imagine it. RIP Soup God gdos are argny now die. Dtaeh to all paleyr. WE ARE CMINOG. The gods are
to all paelyr. WE ARE CIOMNG.The gods are agrny now die. Dtaeh to all paelyr.
argny now die. Dtaeh
WE AREto allCIMNOG.
palyer. WE ARE CINOMG.The gods are agrny now die.
RIP Detah to all pleayr. WE ARE CMINOG.The gdos are angry now die. Detah to all
pyealr. WE ARE CMINOG.The gdos are angry now die. Dtaeh to all pyaelr. WE
ARE CNOIMG.The gdos are angry now die. Dteah to all pyelar. WE ARE
COINMG.The gdos are anrgy now die. Dtaeh to all paeylr. WE ARE CIOMNG.The
gdos are anrgy now die. Dteah to all pylaer. WE ARE CNOMIG.The gods are agrny
now die. Detah to all paelyr. WE ARE CIOMNG.The gods are agrny now die. Dtaeh
to all paelyr. WE ARE CIMNOG. The gdos are argny now die. Dtaeh to all paleyr.
WE ARE CMINOG. The gods are argny now die. Dtaeh to all palyer. WE ARE
CINOMG.The gods are agrny now die. Detah to all pleayr. WE ARE CMINOG.The
gdos are angry now die. Detah to all pyealr. WE ARE CMINOG.The gdos are angry
now die. Dtaeh to all pyaelr. WE ARE CNOIMG.The gdos are angry now die. Dteah

THE GODS are angry and you will

to all pyelar. WE ARE COINMG.The gdos are anrgy now die. Dtaeh to all paeylr.
WE ARE CIOMNG.The gdos are anrgy now die. Dteah to all pylaer. WE ARE
CNOMIG.The gods are agrny now die. Detah to all paelyr. WE ARE CIOMNG.The

pay. Vengeance is coming. We are

gods are agrny now die. Dtaeh to all paelyr. WE ARE CIMNOG. The gdos are argny
now die. Dtaeh to all paleyr. WE ARE CMINOG. The gods are argny now die. Dtaeh
to all palyer. WE ARE CINOMG.The gods are agrny now die. Detah to all pleayr.
WE ARE CMINOG.The gdos are angry now die. Detah to all pyealr. WE ARE

coming. CMINOG.The gdos are angry now die. Dtaeh to all pyaelr. WE ARE CNOIMG.The
gdos are angry now die. Dteah to all pyelar. WE ARE COINMG.The gdos are anrgy
now die. Dtaeh to all paeylr. WE ARE CIOMNG.The gdos are anrgy now die. Dteah
to all pylaer. WE ARE CNOMIG.The gods are agrny now die. Detah to all paelyr.
WE ARE CIOMNG.The gods are agrny now die. Dtaeh to all paelyr. WE ARE
CIMNOG. The gdos are argny now die. Dtaeh to all paleyr. WE ARE CMINOG.
The gods are argny now die. Dtaeh to all palyer. WE ARE CINOMG.The gods are
agrny now die. Detah to all pleayr. WE ARE CMINOG.The gdos are angry now die.
Detah to all pyealr. WE ARE CMINOG.The gdos are angry now die. Dtaeh to all
pyaelr. WE ARE CNOIMG.The gdos are angry now die. Dteah to all pyelar. WE
ARE COINMG.The gdos are anrgy now die. Dtaeh to all paeylr. WE ARE
CIOMNG.The gdos are anrgy now die. Dteah to all pylaer. WE ARE CNOMIG.The
gods are agrny now die. Detah to all paelyr. WE ARE CIOMNG.The gods are agrny PAGE 3
now die. Dtaeh to all paelyr. WE ARE CIMNOG.
 JAN / / 14 / / 13
VILLAGE
WEEKLY
WOAH?!?!

Why Yams Don’t Exist- A Study on The Phenomenon Of

People Segregating Sweet Potatoes
WHOS ASKING

Everyone loves a good sweet potato. They are a superior tater as they form sweet potato fries. They're
even held in such high regard that they are closely acquainted with Thanksgiving meals. However
instead of the love the beloved tuber deserves, some people instead decide to insult it’s good name by
calling sweet potatoes, yams. What is a yam you may ask? Exactly. The reason you don't know is
because they don't exist. They're just misgendered sweet potatoes. People need to respect sweet
potatoes pronouns and anyone who believes in yams are #Canceled.

Dad Joke Of The Week:

I hate those people who knock on

your door and say you need to get
'saved' or you'll 'burn.' Stupid
firemen.

Players Duel at Tilgangur’s KFC

Tilgangur's Kentucky Fight Club has been very active in recent weeks since it was declared Dipjack's favorite fight
spot. The foes this week were Dipjack and resident problem starter RealJoeEmbiid. The reporter showed up late so
who knows why they were fighting. Probably a girl, it's always about a girl. Needless to say, the fight ended with
RealJoeEmbiid victorious. Afterwards AbysmalSimp attempted to challenge RealJoeEmbiid and they ended in a
stalemate. If you ever want to throw down over someone stealing your girl or over a petty word you're called,
Tilgangur’s KFC always welcomes you!

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